#it's very very funny to me. also correct.

[spidybaby]

Makeup Voice-over

Madrid Boys x Influencer!Reader

Summary: You ask your boyfriend for help to record the voice-over of your makeup routine.

Warnings: cursing.

A/N: Hi guys! Many of you asked me to do a version of Barca Boys but with Madrid guys. I took the most mentioned in the requests, hope you like it, love you 🙂‍↔️❤️

Jude

"So, I just have to do say what you are doin'?" He asks, confused while you place the airpods on his ears.

"Yes, baby." You smile at him.

"What if I don't know the name of the product?" He asks, worried. "Or the name of the tool?"

"Jude, just do it your way, call it whatever."

"Alright, boss." He smiles.

You left the room, leaving him to do it alone. You walk with a laundry basket to the laundry room. Wanting to be surprised with the video once it's done.

Jude does what you told him, play the video, and start to say what you are applying with a lot of detail.

"Hello' mates, I'm Y/n, your favorite one. Today, I'm doing a tutorial so you can look as amazing as I do."

He chuckles as he stops the video. You recorded in parts so he could pause and do the voice over slowly.

"I'm applying this green gel, I think that's for hair." He says, confused. "Oh, on my face, okay." He doesn't understand why you would apply that to your face. "Now I'm grabbing this and putting drops of it on my face. As you can see, it's the same color as my skin." He explains.

He takes a pause to drink some water.

"With a sponge, I know that cause my amazing boyfriend who I adore gave it to me!" He says proudly. "I spread it all over my face, then you grab another product with the same color and put it under your eye, in your chin, in your forehead."

He tries to understand what you are doing but he doesn't really know much about makeup and he doesn't really know much about the names.

"Okay, so now you need to use powder, place it all over the stuff you just spread." He confusingly says. "Now I know this one, you need to blush your face just like when my perfect boyfriend gives me a compliment. Love you, darling." He chuckles.

He feels happy that he knows what you are doing, he might be dumb but he wasn't dumb to blush.

"Now apply brown powder cause why not." He explains. "Also, now with a brush, you grab this other brown powder and apply it to the eye, close it before, we don't want to become blind."

He praised himself for the knowledge.

"Now that your eyes are powdered with brown, you grab an even darker brown and do it to only a part of your eye." He says, obviously thinking he is correct. "Now you take this shiny powder and apply it to the other part of your eye, yes."

He pauses again, taking a other sip of his drink.

"Okay, mates, and you grab this mascara. Yes, that's the name. Write it down. You apply it to the lashes twice, apparently."

You are downstairs finishing with loading the washing machine, not thinking that it was going to be as funny as it was being.

"Now we apply lipstick, but if I'm being honest let's skip it, fuck!" He says, very confident. "Oh, shit. Not this glossy thing. Okay, apply a glossy thing to your lips but don't kiss your man because that will end up on his lips."

He hates gloss, everybody knows that now.

"And then you spray your face, why? I don't know." He chuckles. "Thank you guys, now go buy a real madrid jersey with the number 5, bye."

Kylian

"Bonjour à tous, je suis Y/n."

"Kyks, in English, please!" You say from the kitchen. He was recording the voice-over on the couch.

"Anyways, today I'm doing my skin care and makeup. Let's start." He says in a very sweet tone. "First wash your face if you don't disgusting."

You can't help but laugh at him.

"Shhh, I'm working here." He says, trying not to laugh. "You now need to pass this cotton thing with this mmm, water?" He questions.

You shake your head, he tries to praise that he knows everything but clearly don't.

"Pass it around and let it dry." He nods at himself. "Then you need to apply this silicony gel, make sure it's spead correctly because if not you will root and die."

"Kylian!" You warn him. "You can't say that to people."

"I know what I'm doing, mademoiselle." He tells you. "Now that you did, apply foundation on this plate and add some of your skin care. Why? Don't know, but do it just like I do."

He pauses the video to talk to you.

"What is the plate?" He asks.

"It's a mixing pallette." You explain. "You use it to mix products."

He nods, understanding. "Now you pick it up with a brush, applying it to your face. Blend it up calmly because if not, you might break an arm." He chuckles. "Then you move to your small foundation, I think that's not what is called but Google it. It's Dior as you can see."

He makes sure to say it because when you did a video asking him to guess the price he was impressed that Dior had makeup.

"Once that's done, you grab this brown cream. Grab the brush and take some product, apply to the forehead and the cheeks." He explains. "And grab this blush, one dot on each cheek, blend it."

You smile at how he looks like he is enjoying doing it.

"Grab the powder and powder yourself, make sure to be very powder, or you'll be all wet with the other products, and you will be the clown of the party."

You cover your mouth, can't believe how extra he was being.

"Then you'll grab another brown product, applying it again, same with the blush, do it again. Don't worry if it seems wasteful. Make your boyfriend get you another one."

He chuckles, knowing that he was being a hit.

"Now you need to move to the eyes. You are going to grab a pallette and apply a color to the eyes. You then gran your marker and draw a line, make it sharp, it needs to be able to cut the enemies."

You shake your head no, laughing at him being so extra.

"Once you do that, you need to apply more lashes, bigger ones." He explains. "They glue to the eyelid, and once it's done, grab a mascara, apply it."

You move from the kitchen to where he is. "Almost done? The food is ready."

He nods. "You are going to grab a color pencil. Paint your lips with it because you'll need it for the lipstick. When you are done, you need to apply a spray."

He tries to remember the name of that spray but he can't.

"And done, now I leave to go to a Real Madrid game to see my boyfriend, love you Kylian, the best, vote for him on La Liga player of the month, bye."

Arda

"Are you sure you want me to do this?" He asks, very shyly.

"Yes, love." You smile, caressing his face. "It's just a voice-over of my makeup tutorial."

"But I'll mess up things."

"No, you won't." You smile. "Just name things as you think they are, okay?"

"Okay."

He walks over to your studio, you let him alone to do it because he asked you to.

"Okay, shit." He takes a deep breath. "Hello everyone, my girlfriend is doing a makeup tutorial. First, she's applying this skin color cream with an eggy looking sponge."

He's confuse at the sponge but won't pay mind to it.

"Then you need to grab another skin color cream. This one is, I think, a little bit more bright, or maybe it's the light." He says, very confused. "You need to hit your face with the sponge and move the cream around. Then you are going to grab a big brush, she's using one I gave her for her birthday, don't ask me, my mom helped me." He chuckles

He didn't lie. He got you a lot of makeup things for your birthday. Thanks to his mom, he got everything right because he was lost.

"Now, with another brush, she's grabbing this thing to make her face have shape or something like that. You need to apply it to the jawline, the cheek, your nose, everywhere basically."

He's confuse about why is it everywhere, but he won't question you.

"Okay, now a different brush. This has been in her collection for a long time, I know cause I once almost broke it, and she told me that." He chuckles. "You grab this pinky powder, apply it to the cheeks and I don't know why she's also applying it on the top of her nose and on her eyelids."

He's confused at why you are doing that but won't complain. He isn't a woman, he can't argue with you about it.

"Okay, now she's using this eye makeup. She likes orange, and she will use it on her eyes. This makeup was when we played with the orange jersey. Love that jersey. Also, the white one is cool, but this one has its own thing."

He's rambling, but you don't mind about it. It was supposed to be something fun for you and him. So you told him to be himself and to ramble if he wants.

"After the eyes, she usually grabs this lash comb, makes her eyelashes grow, they look amazing." He admires the image of you. "She doesn't like gloss or lipstick, so she's using this belly thing on her lips, tapping it with her fingers to make it seem natural."

He was almost done. He knows it because when you do this, you then apply a spray and say you are done.

"To finish you grab this spray, it makes your makeup last. Why? I'm not sure, but I just trust the process, apparently." He says, trying not to chuckle. "Now we are done, and as you can see, she looks amazing. Thank you for watching."

Brahim

"Bueno gente, let's start this." Brahim says. "You'll need to be pretty cause if you are not as pretty as me, sad." He says.

You shake your head no, trying not to let the big laugh you are holding out.

"You need to use some foundation, I use this one from Rihanna." He mentions, not sura about brands but dealing with it. "You grab the sponge, hit your face with it, hard please so you can stamp that makeup on."

You lost it, letting the laugh out.

"Shhh, amor venga!" He says. "Okay, move on, you grab your concealer. In this case, I couldn't sleep because I like to watch my boyfriend who is very handsome, guapo el chico!"

You laugh again.

"You then grab this powder, also grab this triangle, press the powder, and then place it under the eyes, the forehead, the cheeks." He explains, feeling like a pro. "You then grab that cocoa powder lookalike. Then please grab a brush and a blush, I love the kiko one, muy bueno, mucho pimiento!"

"Pigmento!" You laugh

"Exactly," He says. "Now I don't like to add much eye shadow, I place this light brown, como café corto de leche, then I add highlight."

"Coffee with light milk?" You ask.

"Shhh, guapa." He says, waving his hand. "To finish, I apply my favorite mascara. It's named better than sex, even tho it is not because my boyfriend joder!"

You almost pee yourself from how hard you are laughing at his silliness.

"Now, apply a lip oil and go around your day." He says sassy. "Also, don't forget to go and see my boyfriend, The Brahim Diaz, highlights on La Liga Instagram. Adiós, kiss kiss." He finishes with a kiss sound.

[katabasiiis]

i like that, as far as i can tell, the entire dragon age rpc has collectively decided to just ignore that tevinter and orlais canonically speak common as a native language

[ultravioletbrit]

“hold” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 488 words

this, but make it jegulus (i tried to get it as close to the original as possible)

Remus is sitting in an armchair doubled over with laughter. Sirius has fallen out of his chair and is cackling on the floor with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. Regulus is sitting on the couch trying his best to stay composed. And James in standing in the middle of the room with more passion and fire in his eyes than Regulus has ever seen.

“Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!” James is shouting.

“James—” Regulus tries to calmly interrupt.

“HOLD ON!” James looks pointedly at Regulus and his eyes look like they’re going to literally pop out of his head. “Her sister was a witch, right?” Regulus is trying so hard to hold back his laughter. “And what was her sister? A princess! The Wicked Witch of the East, Reg.” James is yelling, not unkindly just very passionately, looking directly at Regulus and nodding his head aggressively to emphasize every point.

James starts pacing in genuine distress. Sirius is rolling on the floor holding his stomach and laughing so hard his entire body is shaking. Remus has his hands over his mouth, which is doing absolutely nothing to contain his laughter.

Regulus stands up to meet James in the middle of the room. “I’m gonna stab him.” He mumbles under his breath, which makes Sirius laugh even harder—if that’s even possible.

James whips around to face Regulus. “You’re gonna looks at me and you’re gonna tell me that I’m wrong? Am I wrong?” James asks emphatically.

And the thing is—James is, in fact, very wrong. “It’s my favorite—” Regulus tries to interject but can’t even get a word in.

“She wore a crown, and she came down in a bubble, Reg!” And that proves absolutely nothing.

Regulus knows he’ll never get James to listen to him. “I’m not fighting with you.” He shakes his head, chuckling fondly.

James makes his way out of the living room. “Grow up!” He says over his shoulder.

“I’m not fighting with you.” Regulus says again.

“Grow up.” James seems to be losing steam as he leaves the room.

“Get educated!” Regulus yells then flops down on the couch and finally lets his laughter out.

Eventually Regulus, Sirius and Remus’ laugher fades into soft chuckles as they calm down and take several deep breaths to compose themselves.  

It’s a few minutes later when James appears in the doorway with a sheepish look on his face—that Regulus thinks is adorable. He slowly makes his way over to the couch and sits down beside Regulus. He’s quiet for a few moments then turns slightly to look at Regulus.   

“I’m not really mad.” James says in a small voice. “And you know I love you, right?”

Regulus chuckles fondly and takes James’ face in his hands. “Yes, I know you love me, Jamie.” He leans in to kiss James softly then pulls back the tiniest bit. “But you’re still wrong.” Regulus whispers against James lips.    

[nikkashidashipper]

so to elaborate on this-

let me preface this with:

Czech is quite a complicated and also a very colorful (Slavic) language

I do have to add that the Czech dub for KCD2 is *chef's kiss* it's SO well done. it's so colorful and so witty and funny. I encourage any Slavs to at least check out the cz dub + eng sub option

I haven't seen the playthrough in English properly so feel free to correct me if I missed anything

I'm experiencing the game in Czech dub + sub

this is a subjective interpretation of the diminutives used in the Czech dub and the levels of intimacy/affection they carry, a different Czech person may have different experiences with these names

(spoilers ahead obviously, but not anything beyond the Trosky map/part of the game)

for this I'm gonna focus on our lads, Hans and Henry and the Czech versions of the names and their use in the game/dialogue, and two scenes that stood out to me so far - 1st is the cutscene after the lads get jailed at Trosky and they learn that Hans is to be hanged, 2nd is the sequence of gameplay and cutscene during the abovementioned scramble after they get ambushed on their way from Trosky to Nabákov

firstly, the lads and their names

so in the English dub our lads are called Sir Hans Capon and Henry of Skalitz, and as far as i know, Henry only calls Hans either "Sir Capon", "Sir Hans", or "Hans"

in the Czech dub, our lads are called Pan Jan Ptáček [pan jan ptɑː(tʃ)ek] and Jindřich ze Skalice [jɪnd(rz)ɪ(kh) ze skalɪ(ts)e] - the meaning of the words mirror the English equivalents (aka Pan = Sir, ze = of etc.)

going forward I'm gonna use the term "hypocorism" as a blanket term for terms like "informal name", "diminutive", "nickname", "pet name", and the term "formal name" when referring to either an "official" name of the character or (eg. Hans) or a formal given name in the linguistic sense

Jindřich (Henry)

as far as the diminutives of the name Jindřich (Henry) go, there's mainly "Jindra" [jɪndra], which is a fairly basic hypocorism of a formal name - Jan (Hans) uses it quite often for him (as can other characters and do so quite often), which isn't that surprising given Jindra's social status and Jan's and his dynamic, aka Jan doesn't have to stick to respectful and formal names and terms when addressing Jindřich, he could more or less call him whatever

in the English dub, I'm not sure Hans ever calls Henry a nickname(?)

Jan (Hans)

before we get into the hypocorisms, a fun(?) quick(?) aside:

the name Jan in Czech is a formal name, as can Hans be in English of course, but the direct Czech equivalent of the name Hans is "Honza" which, while it technically can(?) be a formal name (there are only 7 people with Honza as their given name in the Czech Rep out of almost 11 million), it is pretty much exclusively a hypocorism of the name Jan - if you're wondering, the direct English equivalent of the name Jan is John (or German Johannes)

with that said, I'm only going to be looking at the way the name Jan and its hypocorisms are used in the Czech language without relating them back to Hans (as Hans is simply the characters formal name in the English dub)

and again, I'm not sure Henry ever calls Hans a nickname(?) in the English dub, but most importantly for this, he doesn't do so in the instances when Jindřich does so in the Czech dub

so as far as I've noticed, there has only been one instance (so far) where the Czech dub uses hypocorisms of the formal name Jan, and we get two of them basically in one scene/sequence - the 2nd scene I listed at the beginning - "Jenda" [jenda] and later "Honza" [honza] which, and this is where it gets subjective in my opinion, is a wild choice from the writers??

Jindřich using hypocorisms for Jan is more significant for obvious reasons, which I already mentioned - the class differences and their dynamic, Jan is a Lord and Jindřich his company, and the latter should keep up the formal and respectful manner when addressing his Lord etc etc, the game tells you this repeatedly in various ways

so, Jenda is pretty much a direct hypocorism of the name Jan, but heavily informal, it has a "silly factor" if you will, it's a Very lighthearted diminutive, kinda goofy, one would use it, in my opinion, for a young-er friend (good friend) or in a teasing manner, or as an affection charged nickname, familial, familiar or romantic

Honza is a bit complicated to explain, it's also a hypocorism of Jan, but it's far more often used than Jenda, and while still informal it doesn't have the goofy factor and silliness to it and may as well be used as a regular (nick)name instead of the given name Jan

why this matters - Czech hansry truthers have been blessed

now, both of these are far from inherently overtly affectionate (or romantically charged at that) - However, as is established, Jindřich should have no business calling Jan, his lord, any sort of nickname (or even just calling him only by his first name, as he does in the 1st scene mentioned at the beginning, more on that below), and the fact that he does so in moments of desperation where Jan is in great/grave danger is. insane of the writers tbh

and this is the first time Jindřich uses these for Jan as well, he just shouts them out, too, the voice actor (Richard Wágner) did an absolutely fantastic job, those hypocorisms are loaded with emotion

and again, as far as I've been able to find, there hasn't been any use of hypocrisms or nicknames in the English dub between these two

lastly, to circle back to the scenes - the 1st scene in jail at Trosky, Jindřich just shouts "Jane!" after him and it caught me SO off guard because this was the first time in the sequel (and possibly the first or second time over both the games) Jindřich called Jan only by his first name, no title, no last name, just Jan, and it was while Jindřich was being dragged away from him, both having just learned Jan is to hang in 12 hours. the 2nd scene the lads have been ambushed by guys with pistols(!)(I hereby invite you to look up what the origin of the word "pistol" is lol), Jan keeps disappearing from Jindřich's sight and then he gets whacked in the head and stays unmoving on his back and Jindřich has to shake him back into consciousness while they get surrounded. I have rewatched both scenes at least 15 times each, I am losing my mind

I genuinely am unable to fully express just how intimate the "Honzo!" is when Jindra is cradling Jan's head, shaking him awake desperately. like,, the "Jane!" was already a shock, and then this. I am so serious when I say I screamed

in my humble opinion these are very deliberate choices on the writers' and directors' part and I'm still in awe from just how well and sensibly and delicately they developed their relationship and even crafted a romance option that feels completely normal, even natural for these two characters. I still cannot understand or comprehend how this even happened at Warhorse (given Vávra and his very vocal opinions, no less) and that we have this tastefully crafted and handled gay romance in a Czech medieval videogame. speechless (he says, after finishing his extensive speech asdjlhkhaskhgsjkadhl)

you guys. in the czech dub of the game, henry calls hans nicknames and more importantly, diminutives during the scramble after they get ambushed on their way to nabákov. im. soft

[mourn-and-watch]

one thing that is fascinating to me about merrill's arc is the way narrative manages to convince a big part of the fandom that she's immature and irresponsible and overall stupid. what we know about merrill and what we actually see on screen is that she successfully avoids possession for 6 years while working closely with a demon, almost every time she participates in some magic/spirit-related discourse she acts calm and confident and has some interesting input, she actively uses her knowledge of dalish lore and tradition to reason with her keeper, and that she actually did make progress with fixing and studying an ancient long forgotten artifact no one knows particularly anything about. but then an old woman who's never been shown to be an undeniably wise and reasonable figure, a guy who got willingly possessed with no awareness of possible consequences and whose whole mindset is still deeply andrastian and a bunch of people who know nothing about magic start judging and doubting her and everyone's like. yeah. she's so fucking dumb.

[meyerlansky]

#hboww2rewatch timestamp roulette: MASTERS OF THE AIR, PART THREE ↳ what the hell is a "reserve command pilot"?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No teen farewell is complete without embarrassment.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[royalarchivist]

Mariana: I can reassure you that Roier doesn't care about it. Dude, he went to Andorra to meet Rubius and he'll probably meet Vegetta777. Do you think that fucker- and he's with Missa Sinfonia, man! Do you think that fucker needs an Esland? That asshole is achieving everyone's dreams! That fucker is achieving my dream when I was a little kid, Aldo's dream, the dream of anyone who's currently here! That dumbass went to Rubius house, met Wilson (Rubius' cat), for the love of God, you THINK he needs a dumb award- no, no, I'm not trying to devalue it, but you think he needs a fucking award to be happy? That bastard is already happy. He went there with the exact same outfit from last year's Eslands, the same hat, everything, and he's gonna come back with that same hat, but being the happiest kid ever! He met fake Ibai.

Mariana: But I get stressed about you guys stressing out about it. I can reassure you that right now, Roier is having the best time, sharing a meal with Rubius and Vegetta777 in one of his 37 houses.

[ via @RoierEnglish ]

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.

[essektheylyss]

Brennan describes the inside (for lack of a better word) of the Occulus Thalamus as "a swirling nebula of glimmering potential, cresting eternally beyond the threshold of being," before turning instead to describe, for ease of mortal imagination, a physical palace.

I am curious to know if this, like other aspects of Aeorian technology that we've seen, is some kind of dunamantic distillation; if the "infinity" that is described, this monumental repository of data, is in fact an innovation created from Aeor's technological explorations of a beacon and dunamis itself. It would certainly negate any of my idle considerations of how you'd even store that much data, given the space(s) inside the beacons are suggested to be fairly infinite.

It would also track as a method of collection, given the other uses of the beacons in Exandria as a method of holding a soul and then returning it to another vessel, as well as its use for observation and learning; the Dynasty uses consecution for gaining perspective and learning about the world, and the Aevilux apparently use their own rituals as a method of external observation of themselves for learning who they are. Both of these have their downsides, of course, but overall they seem to be employed for thoughtful introspection.

If the Occulus Thalamus was based on the same concept and arcane background, it certainly showcases the dark side of the impulse to observe and learn and record, in excess and without consent. The same drive to learn about the world, to understand those outside of oneself, to connect with the world, used instead for all-encompassing surveillance and control.

[infernal-lamb]

What’s the speculation on the goat and Shamura’s relationship to each other. I am not talking specifically about a ‘shipping’ perspective I mean this in like. General. I know sometimes the cult of the lamb devs sort of pander to popular headcanons / theories so that one Shamura + goat post might just be a fun little nod to fandom but man what if. What is the goat’s role in Shamura’s story? Were they used as a vessel for a Specific Purpose on Shamura’s behalf? Maybe used in Shamura’s conquest of the Lands / the Purge of the Old Pantheon before they had their rib cage cracked and gutted? Then their soul trapped in the Ether until the Lamb’s blood awoke them?? Who knows. The Goat also seems poison themed, and makes me think that Shamura personally gave the goat Shamura’s own venom from their fangs. How intimate to have the spider god sink their fangs into ur flesh and infuse you with Divine Venom! Anyways

I’ve headcanoned that Goatkind had a more social / physical advantage in the Lands of the Old Faith in that goats were able to seclude / isolate themselves from much of the violence because of their ability to survive in harsher environments, mountains / cliff-sides specifically since both domestic and wild goats are able to climb and keep balance on even the most steep of mountains / cliffs. (A caveat: this is true of *wild* sheep as well, but the sheepfolk seem based on domestic breeds, rather than wild species. Domestication rly nerfed some of the more advantageous traits of sheep lol) the cliffs / mountains would be made into a fortress, i think. I also think, like their cousin-species selling wool, they sold cashmere, which became much more of a luxury when Goatkind became exclusively housed in the mountains. If you desired cashmere, you’d have to survive the journey! And many don’t. And many don’t try. And the Goats would enter the valleys / flat-lands very rarely. Cashmere and Sheep wool post-Purge both became very rare fabrics.

I think, by chance, Shamura was able to snag the Goat as a vessel, someone unconquerable / untamable, to run their growing cult while they purged the Gods. To also adhere to the principles of war and attrition through conquest, the Goat, after all, can make use of their horns. They have a skull made of fucking steel. A perfect weapon. But maybe war lost its glory for the Goat, and they shunned Shamura and the destruction that they helped bring. Maybe the Goat sacrificed themselves to preserve what little honor they sought to keep. And maybe Shamura did Not Like That. Maybe the Goat and Shamura’s vessel stint is what inspired Narinder to use a vessel after his imprisonment. Dude idk I’m just throwing ideas at a wall!

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Got any trans HCs for the amphibia trio? I love the many different interpretations I've seen from this fandom

I don't know about specific headcanons, I know I'm considering making Anne trans in RiAAU but I haven't decided yet.

In one hand: it would be interesting to think how she deals with her first periods because, well, amphibians don't have those, and Hop Pop assumes she's dying (she doesn't tell anyone else because she's so embarrassed). Not that he tells her that, but it really freaks him out. He thinks she has some sort of internal damage, and it's only after months of research that he finds out about some rare mammalian species, such as a few monkeys and rodents, that experience the same cycle Anne goes through. The whole point of this is that it makes Anne feel even more out-of-place. She doesn't remember her world or her parents, only that she came from "somewhere" (possibly another continent) full of people of her species, and she wonders if things would have been easier if she grew up with her biological family. I mean, surely this would be easier. It just serves as a reminder that she knows nothing about her species, not even its name, and she has no idea of how her biology works or what is good and bad for her or how long she'll live or what changes she'll go through.

.

BUT, on the other hand: Trans Anne. Let's start with the obvious: amphibians don't have penises or vaginas and they reproduce externally, meaning they like... release eggs and sperm in the water and they mix without the involvement of either parent, meaning no one knows what the cultural significance of a "penis" or a "vagina" tends to be in most human cultures. As a literaly 3yo, Anne probably didn't have an extensive understanding of s.ex and gender, and it wasn't like the clothes she showed up with told Hop Pop much. She just knew that, as time went on, she found herself relating more and more to the female frogs of Wartwood, and she almost subconsciously began to refer to herself as a girl. There wasn't any big coming out moment, more like a point in which, after months of ambiguity (this kid kept using different pronouns for herself) she just settled on some good ol' she/her and began picking somewhat girly clothes when Hop Pop took her to the market.

It's not like the concept of trans people doesn't exist in Amphibia, it's just that Anne didn't realize that was her situation until, at least, meeting Marcy, and noticing the differences between them. It's not like either of them had ever seen another human from up close, so they didn't know what to expect anyway. Anne's only encounters with Sasha beforehand had consisted on magical girl swordfighting in the sky and whatnot. Certainly not enough to discuss their unique biology, which is something Marcy is very excited to discuss, since she's never met anyone with her same "condition" before, and she wants to know everything, so she uses her as her little rat lab whenever she has the chance. Even then, since she also lacks all knowledge of human s.exual dimorphism and its cultural implications, she doesn't associate anything about either of their bodies to any specific gender that could possibly be asigned to anyone based on biological feautures. Since Sasha remembers the most from Earth, she's probably the only one who could maybe possibly remeber her mom or the kindergarden teacher saying something about "the difference between boys and girls", but by the point she's in speaking terms with Anne, and by the time she realizes their bodies are different, she doesn't really care.

That's not to say Anne doesn't experience dysphoria or that she never undergoes any kind of physical transition. It was probably around the time her voice started to change during puberty that she realized her case may be kinda unique: neither Marcy nor Sasha's voices have changed that much, she can tell even though she only sees Marcy in person like once every 3 years and all the words she exchanges with Sasha consist of death threats and insults. Plus, there's a clear difference between """male""" and """female""" voiced in frogs too. She doesn't want to sound like a man! She doesn't want to be anything like a man! Men are gross! Sorry Sprig, Hop Pop, but it's true. Men are icky icky yuck yuck and Anne is a girly girl. She doesn't want to turn into Stumpy! Or Buff Loggle! Oh, no, is that her future? She commits the triple mistake of 1) sending a letter to Marcy that same day, 2) knocking on Maddies' door promising her firstborn if she can save her from turning into Stumpy, and 3) she becomes obsessed researching mammalian biology in the archives. Bad decision. Bad bad. She's discovering things to feel dysphoric about she never even knew existed! Did you know mammalian mothers feed their offsprings with "milk" that comes from their "mammary glands"? Did Sasha and Marcy have those? She hates herself a little for checking out Marcy next time she sees her and she realizes that, indeed, in the past years she's grown a pair of those that Anne does NOT have. She notes that both she and Sasha are pretty much hairless. She used to think hair was a normal mammalian trait! That weasel that tries to eat the frogs every winter sure is covered in it!

Maddie shows up to her door with a bunch of new spells to try out, happy to have a willing subject. Most embarrassingly, Marcy starts doing her own research as soon as she gets Anne's letter and sends her all her discoveries, and now Anne feels mortified because Marcy knows about all the bad bad very bad changes she's going through (Marcy, for her part, is just fascinated by the nature of their "condition").

It takes a bit, but after a few very frenzied weeks, Anne comes to understad what's going on: her species had certain level of sexual dimorphism and she just happened to have been born with the supposed "sex" usually associated with "men" as a social category. When Hop Pop finds out, he burst into laughter. Oh, it was THAT all along! Anne made it sound so complicated, but it was just the same things he went through when he was younger, just the other way around ("Say what now Hop Pop?")! A few curses here and there and she won't have to worry about these so called "mammary glands" and "hair" anymore, though in the meantime, as Maddie perfects a human-friendly curse, she gets turned into all sort of different creatures. By the time it's done, she just wants to feel like... herself.

It's true that there are some things about her body that make her feel weird, like they don't quite fit in, but there are others she only worries about because she compared herself to Sasha and Marcy, which wasn't fair to anyone involved. Did she really want to fundamentally change parts of her body because of insecurities she developed last week over a book about lemurs? Then, a second set of fears come in: what will happen when she goes back to her place of origin? Because she does want to find her birth family. Will they recognize her, if they're looking for a boy? Will they think she's lying if she claims to be their daughter? If she changes only a few things but doesn't "go all the way", will people there think she's a freak? Will she ever be able to fit in with those of her species?

Does she really care so much about what other people think? She just wants to be herself. Some of the changes she's been going through are making her feel less like herself and more like she's being turned into a tax collector from Toad Tower. Those things have to go - her voice, for example. And she wants a more femenine silhouette (she may or may not show Maddie photos of young Mrs. Croaker as a reference). She wants a softer face. She's seeing her face changing in the mirror and she doesn't like it. She wants it to stay round and soft, not to grow hard and sharp or big and rough. She's not so sure she wants those "mammary glands". It's not like she ever thought about having kids, and the whole "breastfeeding" thing just seems gross, but after her research, and finding out she could have kids with, I don't know, maybe Marcy one day (a thought that makes her blush), she thinks it may be a good idea. She'll consider it. Maybe later. Her genitalia... well, she's used to what she has now. It already took her like 10 years to fully figure out what it was and how it worked and starting over with a whole new set just feels like too much work (also, the babies, the potential babies with Marcy). Frogs and toads have neither "penises" or "vaginas" so there's not a lot of information, and based on books about lemurs and her own empirical experience, comparing herself to other mammalian species isn't too useful. She'll leave it the way it is. She'll see if there's anything else she wants to change later, or if she wants to go back on something.

Marcy is surprised next time Anne visits Newtopia. In her letters, she described this strange transformation in excruciating detail, but seeing her in person now, holding her face in her hands, all she sees is the same Anne she's always loved.

A few more ideas:

HEADCANON: in Amphibia, two people of the same "s.ex" can reproduce through magic, which means there has to be a concious effort and intent. The external fertilization process there's no such thing as a pregnancy, and there's no such thing as s.ex. All reproduction is intentional, which means there's no need for abortion either. There are processes to destroy fertilized eggs and embryos, but they look completely different from human abortions.

Amphibians may perform acts resembling s.ex for pleasure or fun but they look different from human s.ex and have no relation to reproduction.

Andrias is the only person in Amphibia who knows enough about humans to know how they reproduce (a process he finds repulsive). He never tells Marcy, of course, though once she becomes queen, she finds his secret library and his hidden tomes on "alien biology", some of which talk about humans. He's also the only one who knows humans can have children on accident, and that Anne is the only human in Amphibia who could cause something like that to happen (he reads all of Marcy's correspondence). He knows his daughter is very close to this weird farm girl penpal of hers, and even though she's still a child, he worries for her future and the future of the crown. This new discovery could land the crown in the hands of a dynasty of aliens if he's not careful. Is it weird that he spends so much time worrying about his 12yo daughter getting pregnant from another 12yo? Yes, yes it is, but he already controls every aspect of her life, it's not like he's going to stop at her sexuality, future, real, or imaginary.

Man now that I wrote it all down, I think this option is more compelling than the first. Maybe I WILL go with this one.

[steamedlotusroot]

reminder that ao guang, dragon king of the east sea, has a son and a daughter named “third kid” and “dragon girl” respectively

[sneeb-canons]

soul can do the same tricks with his trident that you can do with a flag

i'm not sure if australians have color/winter guard at their schools or an equivalent to that, and if they do, whole learned some stuff there, and if they don't, soul wanted to do something cool and binged youtube videos

his favorite tricks are those that involve a lot of wrist flicking and look super trippy from an outside perspective (aka the ones i can't do) and he likes tossing really fucking high (think triples for fun)

and for convenience his trident is weighted similarly to a flag bc logic doesn't exist in headspace (sorry mindie)

- sincerely, a guard kid who needs to project and make it her whole (haha) personality

Headcanon #571

[proselles]

thing one and dumbass two

[whiteshipnightjar]

Andy and Seth connecting London and New York for shits and giggles