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fatuilady · 4 years ago

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— 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 - 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠. (headcanons)

✦ word count : 2.6𝐤

✦ feat : 𝐆𝐍 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 , [𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭] 𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨, 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐭, 𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐜, 𝐤𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐚, 𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐨𝐫, 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢

✦ context : 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐡𝐮𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ~

✦ cw : 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲, 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 (kaeya lol)

✦ note : apologies this one took so long, work had been swamping me ;-; ! quite long, pretty wordy, almost oneshots, but i hope you all enjoy anyway :)

𝖆𝖑𝖇𝖊𝖉𝖔 :

✦ This particular chalk prince is all too enthralled with delicacy. His very mantra is all about the fragility of life and creation, surely, you're no exception. He has a unique fascination with life and death, yet seemed to focus little on the precious moments between the cradle and the grave.

✦ Albedo is always gentle, shy and chaste when he embraces you.

✦ At first, he was unfamiliar with the sentiment as social contact had never been his forte, since he was in fact a wall of stone (or chalk?). He'd declined your open offer from his own inexperience, he failed to consider that it may portray him as cold, distant or unwelcoming.

✦ Soon enough, Albedo would begin to ponder how such a simple interaction could bring strong emotion to humankind, yet the more he dwelled upon it, the more he found his arms feeling empty. It was as if his hypothesis was proving itself wrong.

✦ Eventually, he'd come to terms with his growing curiosity, always one to initiate an experiment, he'd offer himself to return the affections - he was very glad he did.

✦ Albedo's coy nature would let him drape one arm around your shoulder, the other taking your hand. He'd wrap his soft hands around your own, placing his head beside your own. His hair would smell soft, newborn and clean, the scent of fresh cotton, baby powder and angel feathers beside your nose as he buried into you.

✦ The chalk prince unfortunately would struggle to find the time for such intimacy on the regular, but when he did find the chance to embrace you, he'd make them last as long as he could.

✦ Perhaps this still lingered from his limited understanding of social cues, but he'd hold onto you for many minutes, more than you could count on one hand. Taking you in his arms, he would touch you as if you were a blooming Cecelia, tenderly and lovingly. You'd return his care, cuddling him and wrapping both arms around his back.

✦ During his hugs, he'd also sometimes find himself tracing over your body with inquisitive hands. Albedo had never had the chance to properly appreciate your anatomy in such a manner before, but he quickly fell in love with your form.

✦ Albedo soon began to realise the adoration behind hugs; his adoration for you also began to grow. Slowly but surely, he actively began to seek out your displays of affection, whether to feel your warmth, play with the fabric of your clothes or caress your shape, he wasn't sure.

'Thank you... deeply, for sharing this moment, you... resemble a statue, I couldn't think of anyone better suited for such an embrace.'

✦ What he was sure of was that he had appreciated the beauty of life in the same way ever before than he did when he was swaddled in your arms.

𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖙𝖙 :

✦ The young adventurer is notoriously unlucky, his clumsiness an infamous curse that seems to follow him wherever he goes. It's precisely the reason he's very hesitant to come too close to you, for fear his awful fortune will wipe off on you. No matter how careful he seems to be, there's always something the archons never seem to be on his side.

✦ Instead of his bad luck rubbing off on you, maybe your good luck would rub off on him, at least, that's what you believed.

✦ Bennett was more than surprised when you asked for a hug, your request catching him quite off guard. He'd think on it for a moment, face painted in light pink as he reached for an invisible itch on the back of his neck.

✦ As the leader of Benny's Adventure Team, he'd find it fitting to stand alongside you, carefully tossing one of his arms over your shoulder. He'd snatch you closer with a squeeze, the marigold colour bandana he wore knotted around his upper arm tickling your chin.

✦ The hug itself would be friendly, full of total and mutual trust as you too curled an arm around his front and back. You'd both sway, beaming as laughing as he flashed you an appreciative thumbs up, the sunkiss on his skin making the clumsy boy hold the same warmth as a summer beach.

'I think you're my favourite adventure buddy, I must have been lucky for once to meet someone like you, traveller!'

✦ Bennett would hope to keep moving through Mondstadt with his arm around you. The idea was short lived, to say the least.

✦ As ever, his curse would catch him at the worst moment, a measly loose stone in the plaza floor catching his foot. Bennett tumbled, and so, you tumbled as well.

✦ The active boy would try his best to manoeuvre himself to catch you before you scraped the ground. You'd end up likely crossed over his lap, a compromising position, but it was all in good fun. You loved Bennett's antics, he brought excitement to what could have easily been a mundane life.

✦ Caught up in giggles, Bennett kept his arms crossed over you as he drew his head around to press both yours and his cheeks together. The moment was another perfect instance for a scrapbook, even some of Mondstadt's more grouchier personas sparing a chuckle for you both.

𝖉𝖎𝖑𝖚𝖈 :

✦ For a pyro wielder, Diluc Ragnvindr doesn't present himself warmly. Seemingly tired, uninterested and slightly callous, he concerns himself with practical matters when he is alone: economist by day, vigilante by night. Stuck in his ways, he'd see no purpose in day to day public displays of affection.

✦ This doesn't mean he dislikes contact in private, however.

✦ The common misconception would leave one to believe Diluc was a stone gargoyle, incapable and unwilling to act in any other way. Alone with you, he couldn't be further from it, in fact, in most cases, he's the one to initiate the contact, sometimes without even asking.

✦ When, and only when, perfect conditions are met does Diluc lets go of his tough exterior and ultimately boils down to a lovesick puppy. However, he much prefers to be alone alongside you, of course, in these endeavours.

✦ With nobody else in sight, he would be quick to start loving, his stature still ever strong as he discarded his gloves. The dark side of dawn much preferred to hold you with his bare hands to further lift your caring skinship.

✦ Diluc would wear a sincere smile, one of patience and relief as he drew closer to you. He'd wait for you to signal him with your own charming grin, and only then would he leap into the biggest, most tender bear hug one could conjure.

✦ Strong arms suffocated you as one hand rested on the back of your head, savouring the softness of your hair. The other would cross behind you and after a few compassionate minutes, he'd concentrate his strength to lift you up, up and further into his arms.

✦ If you would like to be put down, he'd place you gentle back onto the floor, releasing you slowly. The flaming hero would notice the mess he had made of your hair, tussling it back to it's usual shape with his fingers.

✦ Otherwise, you could wrap your legs around him, and whilst supporting you, he'd spin around and hold you tightly. Head against his chest, you'd twirl stray strands of his strawberry coloured ponytail in your fingers, relishing in the lingering scent of warm booze, sweet flowers and flecks of ash.

'I apologise for the wait, I'm glad you're still here, you know how dearly I treasure your touch.'

✦ He almost seemed a natural, more so than his love driven brother when it came to private intimacy, but truthfully, he still held small amounts of insecurity. His worry would be holding you too roughly, but the more you insisted you loved his hugs, the more the people of Mondstadt would notice him acting much more chipper during his day shifts at Angel's Share.

𝖐𝖆𝖊𝖞𝖆 :

✦ Smooth talking, smooth moving, smooth loving, there's nothing about the Favonius Cavalry Captain that doesn't radiate utmost self confidence. He acts on his own accord, conducting how he pleases. Still one for manners, he'd clear the water with you far in advance before laying on the next level of his flirtatious affairs.

✦ Kaeya Alberich is incredibly touchy, his behaviour consistent in public, private, wherever he happens to be in the same space as you. His hugs are amatory; romanced laced in the most teasing way.

✦ You could be communing with citizens of Mondstadt, researching in the library, helping sweep away stray leaves at the cathedral on behalf of a desperate attendee. Kaeya makes a habit of catching a glimpse of you as he patrols the city, making a discreet beeline to catch up to you.

✦ Regardless of if you were courting or merely on mutual acquaintanced basis, he'd know exactly which places to stir up when he hugged you from behind.

✦ The frostbearing swordsman would care little about an outside audience, and would enjoy it in true deriding manner if you grew flustered at simply the thought of being intimate in public.

✦ Kaeya would snake his arms around your waist, hands smoothing over the angles or curves. Afterwards, he'd lean into the crook of your neck to place a gentle kiss on your skin.

'I simply couldn't wait another moment, you're heavenly~'

✦ His hair, much like is brothers, would flow over your shoulder like a rich waterfall, scented with rose oil, glistening jasmine and chai.

✦ In private, Kaeya would be even more adoring, favouring a gentler approach opposed to his more teasing public affections. He'd love for you to sit between his legs on the couch, back rested against his chest.

✦ A master of fine swordmanship, he'd be oh so gentle, his touches feather soft, sometimes even so gentle you wouldn't even notice they were there. Regardless, he loves more than life to make a fuss over you when you hug, he loves to play with your hair, he loves to spin circles into your skin with careful fingertips, he loves to whisper every word you'd like to hear all with the intent of making the moment stretch for as long as it could.

✦ Kaeya knew he was free to share his love with you at any moment, but that didn't keep him from making each hug count, after all, he simply just adores the way you fit perfectly into him.

𝖗𝖆𝖟𝖔𝖗 :

✦ Razor is a curious soul, one of primal roots. Human intimacy is worlds apart from the care he shared with his Lupical, so he craves the best of both worlds. The wolf boy wants to learn, who better to verse him in human affection than you?

✦ When you'd ask him if he would like a hug, he was unsure what it was. He'd tilt his head to the side, clueless, but eager nonetheless. If he had a tail like his canine brother and sisters, it would surely be swaying side to side by now

✦ You'd find it adorable how he'd mimic your movements like a puppet, you raised an arm and he'd do the same.

✦ As you brought yourself closer to him, he'd hesitate slightly, his feral nature urging him to step away, but his human mind knew he trusted you, so he stayed in place and allowed you to cuddle him.

✦ When wolves displayed the same behaviour, it was one of threatening origin, normally the kickstarter of an incoming fight, but with you, he felt no threat at all. Admittedly, he seemed a little stiff when you engulfed him, not quite sure what to do with his limbs, he marvelled in place for a moment.

✦ Razor felt a flurrying heat collect in his face as he gasped, gradually relaxing his shoulders as he melted away into your embrace. He also might have felt his eyes sting a little with joyful tears, it was something new, surely, but the half wolf didn't mind it.

✦ He tried to sneak a glance at how you were holding him so he could do his best to replicate it. Hesitantly, he placed his arms around you in return, though they almost seemed to lag as he moved them. Once they were securely around you, Razor felt himself click into place and squeeze tightly.

✦ Gentle wind breezed over you, catching his distinct scent of earth, fresh rain and crushed berries. He seemed a little cold from the touch, but this was expected from somebody who spent his life outside in the roaming scape of Wolvendom.

✦ His hair, though mildly knotted in some places, truly did feel plush like a wolf's pelt, ideal to pat and stroke.

'You are...warm... Razor likes it, I will... stay, for a while'

✦ Razor had discovered two things: He now loved hugs possibly more than hunting, but what he loved most was your hugs specifically.

✦ He'd be more subtle, yet increasingly obvious in the future. Whenever the overgrown puppy of a boy would crave some attention, he'd shuffle close to you, raising his arms in the same way you did when you introduced the concept to you. Moreover, he'd be seeking you out a lot-

𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎 :

✦ A carefree and free flowing spirit by design, Venti is true to his element when it comes to hugs. He's a very affectionate boy, but in a more innocent sense. Always full of mischievous laughter, he appreciates the silliness and fun behind the little things.

✦ The windborne bard would be very open about hugs and public affections, often asking both if he could receive and give. When accepting his proposal, you'd get to see him close his eyes in delight, cheering to himself in a childish manner.

✦ He'd be all about the performance, being a bard and all gives him this habit. Laughter, singing, general sounds of delight, whatever he can conjure, Venti would beam with happiness from even the smallest contact with you.

✦ Venti would run and spring into you through the long grass strewn across Starsnatch Cliff, gusts of anemo following his excited behaviour.

✦ What's most humouring is the rather short boy propping himself up on the tips of his toes in order to better the hug, draping both of his arms around your neck.

✦ The bard would love to look into your eyes, placing a cheeky kiss on the tip of your nose. Another common practice would be cupping your face with one hand, holding it in his palm with nothing but adoration.

✦ Another curious trick of his involves his elemental skill. Charging it, he'd hold onto you tightly, chirping as you'd both lock into each other.

'Ehe, hold on tightly, I don't want you to fall!'

✦ In one single burst, you'd be launched upwards by a powerful gust, high enough to see all of Mondstadt in the unexpectedly strong arms of your favourite Archon.

✦ Brushing stray hairs that came loose from your hairstyle during the departure, he was something freeing, a breath of fresh air as you drifted contentedly to the delicate grass below.

✦ Everything about the old young bard seemed peaceful as you'd stay warm, knitted together laying down amongst the dandelions.

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fishylife · 4 years ago

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Guess who caved and read all 66 chapters of Painter of the Night? I don’t normally like to read comics that are still ongoing because I don’t like losing momentum while waiting for updates but here I am 🤡🤡

Spoilers.

I typed this while distracted so sorry for any muddled thoughts.

Story

I am glad that I read up to Chapter 66 because a huge misunderstanding was cleared up (the fact that Nakyum legitimately did not run away this time). I would’ve been pulling my hair out if the misunderstanding went on further (I HATE misunderstanding/miscommunication as a plot device).

A lot of people on the subreddit theorized that this was a huge turning point in the story. For the first time, we’re seeing Seungho show legitimate remorse and sadness over Nakyum’s suffering. Hopefully we’re going to see change his behaviour and act more reasonably towards Nakyum, and be more communicative about why he’s doing what he’s doing.

Though I think Nakyum is still a bit confused about his feelings for Seungho, he’s past the point of hating Seungho and wanting to leave. He said that he’d tried to run away before but he had nowhere to run to. He acknowledges that Seungho is a constant in his life, a protector and an indirect caregiver. But he’s still struggling with his feelings for Seungho.

In that way, Seungho and Nakyum are sort of opposite. Seungho recognized his romantic love for Nakyum first, but he couldn’t see how he was hurting him. As for Nakyum, he figured out how he could make Seungho happy early on, but he’s still struggling a bit with regards to how he feels about Seungho, likely because a part of his heart is still with Inhun. Again, he definitely recognizes Seungho as his protector (he’d instinctively called out to Seungho for help when he was kidnapped), but he’s still struggling over whether he’s in love with him.

This week we’re getting a continuation to the spinoff story so we won’t see the story pick up again until next week.

I do think the spinoff story is interesting. Currently, Seungho holds a lot of power over Nakyum, both in terms of political/administrative power, and physical power. But with Seungho as a peasant and Nakyum as a son of a noble family, Nakyum holds the social power over Seungho and it evens up their power dynamics a bit, which I do like. It feels safer for Nakyum lmao.

In terms of the style of story telling, it’s mostly angst, I’ll be honest. And it is rather melodramatic because miscommunication tends to be something the author uses quite a bit as a storytelling technique. Luckily, they’re not dragged out for too long.

Art

The art is pretty nice. It’s all in full colour, which surprised me. The art is extremely detailed. I wonder how the artist can do so much in a week lol. I hope they’re not overworked.

Seungho

Both Seungho and Nakyum have had their share of past trauma, but my thinking is that they’ve manifested in different ways.

It’s implied that Seungho’s father knew about his sexuality from a young age and tried to treat it through medical means and then by locking him up, which effectively stopped his education, despite him having been a bright student. Seungho then lived out his young adult days in debauchery. Early on, he implied that he was just living by his father’s principles, or something along those lines. My guess is that his dad left him behind so he could debauch in isolation without affecting the rest of the family.

So Seungho grew up without many close friends. He was surrounded by servants and yes men (like Jihwa) who would not call him out on his bullshit. So I think that’s how he developed his extremely bossy and abusive behaviour.

Why Nakyum was different for Seungho was that initially, he didn’t have power over Nakyum. He would tell him to do things, but Nakyum would not necessarily heed his commands, not painting, or trying to run away. His heart was still fully loyal to Inhun. So I think that was why Nakyum elicited extra violent behaviour from Seungho. Seungho had never been defied like this.

But I think Seungho was also intrigued by Nakyum. Nakyum was a contradiction because he drew smut but was always super embarrassed when faced with sexual situations irl. Seungho should've felt better when Inhun was sent away and Nakyum became submissive during sex and yet that’s when Seungho felt like something was wrong. Nakyum just kept eliciting unexpected emotions from Seungho. I definitely think Seungho saw him as a plaything at first, but came to care for him after he got to know more about him and his personal life.

Nakyum

Nakyum also came from a tough background. He was an orphan, and was raised along kisaeng ladies. Inhun was the first authority figure whom he’d had a positive impression of, and he latched on to him. He admired Inhun so much that he tried his best to listen to him when he told him not to draw erotic art anymore.

Inhun unfortunately didn’t see their relationship the same way. He showed a kind face to most of his students but he looked down on their lowly statuses. Only when he saw Nakyum as a pawn, did he give him attention. But he never hid his emotions, visibly expressing his anger when Nakyum wasn’t being a good spy, brushing off Nakyum’s confession of love.

Nakyum’s love for Inhun was so extremely pure and all-consuming. I cried when he was so swiftly rejected and condescended upon by Inhun T_T Because I knew how much courage it took for Nakyum to confess, how he wanted nothing but for Inhun to have good things, and Inhun cared not for any of that because it wasn’t want he wanted. Nakyum wasn’t helping him in the way he needed, and he cared far more for ambition than romantic love (not to mention romantic love from a lowly peasant).

After the rejection, Nakyum internalized Inhun’s words when he called him a prostitute. A part of him still loved Inhun and if he said that, Nakyum figured he must’ve been right. The other part of him decided that acting submissively to Seungho was the only way to survive.

Basically, Nakyum’s going through a huge emotional journey because his hero Inhun has kind of abandoned him (though he hasn’t forgotten him completely), but Nakyum hasn’t found a worthy person to give his heart to.

Seungho & Nakyum

I’m still thinking about their relationship and why we ship them despite the shit they’ve done (mostly the shit that Seungho’s done to Nakyum).

For Seungho, I think Nakyum was the first person he met who had a different way of expressing love. He’d never met someone like Nakyum who would stuff he despised just to help out Inhun. Even when Inhun didn’t show an inkling of appreciation. Perhaps Seungho felt that he didn’t know what love was until he met Nakyum.

As for Nakyum, he theorized that he was only desperate for affection and that was why he felt himself drawn to Seungho. I think that is technically true. But more than that, I think Seungho has arguably shown more levels of care to Nakyum than Inhun has. Yeah, Seungho has done horrendous stuff to Nakyum, but he’s also shown more affection to Nakyum. That includes physical affection, but Seungho also bought him warm clothes, called on a doctor to care for his health, etc. Again, all of the care absolutely does NOT cancel out the abusive behaviour on Seungho’s side, but that’s how I think Nakyum found himself feeling more and more comfortable with Seungho. Loving someone is about showing your bad sides as well as your good sides.

I think both Seungho and Nakyum are finding affection/care in forms that they’d never experienced before, and that’s why they are drawn to each other.

Problematic?

I had a feeling that this would be a story that a lot of people would consider problematic. It’s probably because I’m older now, but it doesn’t really bother me. I obviously know that there is toxic behaviour shown by the characters and I would never want that in real life, but it’s really not difficult for me to separate what works in fiction vs. what works in reality.

This was a different time period, when rich and powerful people could just do whatever they wanted. Not excusing problematic behaviour, just explaining the entitled behaviour of some of the elites.

Seungho for sure shows extremely toxic behaviour. I think the point is that he is a problematic man who has trouble expressing emotions the normal way, and it ends up hurting those around him and those he cares about. He’s definitely an imperfect person who’s unpleasant to be around, but I think one thing the author wanted to show is that bad people are still capable of having emotions. By no means do I excuse his toxic behaviour. But I am all for showing that flawed people are still worthy of attention. We are still interested in what Seungho does in spite of his poor behaviour because we recognize that he is still a person.

I also recognize that Nakyum is woobified a lot. He’s constantly put in situations where he is the victim and he doesn’t/can’t fight back. In the latest event with Jihwa ordering Nakyum’s kidnapping/murder, the Nameless one had threatened Nakyum’s life so that he wouldn’t reveal the fact that he’d kidnapped him, and that caused all of Seungho’s meanness in the past few chapters. I recognize that whump is a popular trope, but usually because it ends in comfort. (I specifically can’t enjoy whump if it doesn’t end in comfort) It sets up a situation in which it feels reasonable for the victim to receive comfort. Again, this is stuff that I only enjoy in fiction. I recognize that in real life, people shouldn’t have to get hurt to be worthy of love and care. But I can see why people may say that Nakyum being the victim might be a problem.

Other

I thought Jihwa & the Nameless one were going to be a side pairing from the moment I saw the Nameless one’s jaw lmao. It was angular and I was like, that’s a handsome man’s jaw. I’m glad that Jihwa realized before hurting Nakyum that he couldn’t possibly fix his relationship with Seungho anymore. He recognized that even with Nakyum out of the picture, Seungho wouldn’t want to come to him. Seungho’s mind would always be filled with Nakyum, and if Seungho had found out that he was behind the murder, he’d hate Jihwa even more. Like Nameless one, despite the despicable things that Jihwa had done, I did pity him. He was in love with Seungho for a long time, and thought that giving him everything he wanted (including letting him have sexual relations with others) would endear himself to Seungho. But they were just not meant to be.

But Min implied that Jihwa had crossed the line already this time by kidnapping Nakyum. After the happenings of Chapter 66, Seungho’s going to have a field day with Jihwa and I’m not sure how he’s going to get out of that one. Not sure if Nameless one can do anything to help.

I don’t know how long this manhwa is supposed to be, but there are several story lines other than Seungho x Nakyum that haven’t been addressed yet. Like I said, I think we’re going to see Jihwa x Nameless one expanded upon a bit. There’s some stuff going on with the Yoon family, since Seungho’s brother keeps coming over. I wonder if Seungho’s going to try starting a career (this isn’t based on anything, I’m just wondering). And I also have a feeling that Inhun might return, which will likely force Nakyum to choose between Inhun or Seungho once and for all.

To be completely honest, I don’t want this manhwa to drag out for too long. For selfish reasons because again I don’t like waiting for ongoing comic chapters. I don’t know how long the manhwa is intended to be, but based on my paragraph above, it’d still take a lot of time for all of those loose ends to be wrapped up. But considering the fact that Seungho and Nakyum’s relationship is probably finally going to get better, hopefully we’re over half way through? Just me being hopeful.

Final

I didn’t write a full review for this on my Dreamwidth because, like, this comic isn’t even done yet. But as you can see, I enjoyed reading it. I feel like I’m missing a hundred things that crossed my mind while reading this. And there are a lot of interesting analysis posts on Tumblr and Reddit that are opening my mind to other interpretations too.

I had a BL manga phase when I was a teenager and now I’m like “...is it time to get back into it?” Lol. In any case, it’s interesting reading BL as an adult now because like I said, it’s so much easier to separate the fiction from the reality now. I can read BL purely as fiction while recognizing what tropes are not healthy, and they don’t diminish the story. It’s melodramatic because it’s exactly that: melodrama.

#thinking out loud #manhwa #painter of the night

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mnogorgannik · 4 years ago

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2 10 n 11 :)

this is basically an essay im so sorry. watch how hard i can infodump (ill put this under a cut hopefully it works bc sometimes tumblr decimates the keep reading things if theyre in asks)

2. Who’s your favorite of the Bound? What do you think of the different ideologies they have? Which of the factions are you most aligned with?

WE ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER I AM A PETER LOVER THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!!!! oh baby i love that morally questionable architect. pretty early on in getting into pathologic (it’s coming up on a year now...) i thought about peter stamatin too hard and now i’m here. but really i find him to be such a fascinating character!

the thing about pathologic that i love is how almost every character can be as complex as you want. pathologic does an excellent job of implying a lot of character traits while only exploring some in further detail, which in some games is frustrating but patho does it so well! it consistently hints at traits and lets you fill in the details yourself. peter’s character is extremely interesting to me... and maybe a little more relatable at times than i want to admit lol.

i think i’ll talk about both stamatins though! their dynamic hurts me a lot. i’ll start with andrey bc i’ve been thinking about him lately. although i’ll bounce back and forth between both stamatins.

i’ve said this before but i’ll say it again.... andrey’s role as a protector who inadvertently hurts the people he cares about really gets to me. he is not a shield but, in his own words, a battering ram. and the problem is that battering ram has a recoil.

i have to wonder how that mentality of his came about, anyways. the implication is that it’s always just been him and peter, so did he take on that role because there wasn’t anyone else to do it?

in his efforts to protect peter from... military, i believe, he kills four people. which leads to daniil getting mistaken for andrey, which leads to daniil getting shot. and almost dying. he protects peter but to a smothering extent, peter even says he’s been suffering for ten years bc of andrey which is a LOADED line. he protects on a physical level but he kinda fucks up on the emotional.

there’s a horrible irony in peter and eva being the people he cares about the most and both attempting suicide. with eva once she’s missing he immediately goes running off trying to look for her, and . ahh i can’t remember right off hand what exactly he thought happened. but ik he was probably expecting a fight. with peter he says that after that he’ll never let peter leave his side, at least “as far as his knife can fly”... it sounds cheesy but the one thing he can’t save anyone from is themself.

and god the way andrey bases his ENTIRE sense of self worth on peter fucking hurts. they’re not peter and andrey, the architects. they’re Peter And Andrey, The Architect. (thinking about “one architect, two brothers” here.) andrey thinks he’s larger than life and all but he’s constantly living in peter’s shadow. their theatre of death positions come to mind here, with peter standing up, looking down at andrey. but andrey is on his knees in front of peter, arms limp to his sides.... separated by a wooden beam...

peter’s side of this dynamic is fascinating too. his dependency on andrey is. ow. leaving all practical matters and decision making to him... there’s this resentment (That’s Fine I’ve Been Suffering For Ten Years Because Of Him) and lack of communication that especially shows through for him.

while in p2 andrey completely crumbles if peter dies, peter doesn’t seem to care...... at all....?? which hopefully is elaborated upon in p2. he’s willing to talk to aspity about worrying if andrey is angry with him but he can’t bring it up with andrey himself. when he asks how andrey is doing he stops and says andrey is a “tough man” and can handle anything. in general, while it’s definitely there for andrey, themes of dependency are really glaringly obvious for peter.

one of my favorite peter things i’ve talked about before is still his ego!!! peter has a gigantic ego!!! he really does think that even though he’s hit the ceiling and can’t go any further he is still “a true architect” and “the rock upon which is built the stairway to tomorrow”. he has a blunt edge to him and he doesn’t ever tell you more than he thinks he needs to which i love. if he doesn’t want to tell you something he isn’t gonna do it. this is a character trait i think ppl miss which is sad because it’s so good and adds another layer of depth to him!

it really does hurt me how he’s valued for his mind alone (AHEM AHEM AHEM. GEORGIY) but it’s the thing nobody understands about him. i’m nowhere near as smart as peter lol but i do know that pain of feeling like none of your ideas can be understood because you just can’t express them the way you’d like, and then feeling like you’ll never be able to make it happen.

also, here’s a little thing i’ve picked up on. this connection probably doesn’t exist but i’m making it because the stamatins make me lose my mind and start becoming one of those people who looks for connections in everything i guess. peter standing in the theatre of death, andrey below him. peter’s loft being at a high point in the town, the broken heart being underground. peter’s loft is also higher north on the map but the broken heart is lower south. just smth interesting

i have more thoughts on them of course! but this is all getting awfully long. i feel like i’ve only just gotten to the tip of the iceberg even though i’ve written so much skfjskfjs this just feels quite surface level or. at least what is surface level for me who thinks about the stamatins so hard.

anyways i’ll keep my answers to the other two parts of this question quick! peter and andrey’s more creative vs practical mindsets are rly neat. especially because i would actually argue peter is a little more grounded in reality in certain aspects. not all, but certain ones...... their take on the utopian ideology is interesting. hot take: peter’s version of utopianism leans a tad towards humility. and andrey /does/ feel “straightforward utopian” but i think in certain regards? this man has a bit of a termite streak..... (hi al if you’re reading this). but i won’t get into that right now i’ve already gone on so long. saving that for later.

i think all of the factions kinda suck in their own way sometimes, honestly? although all of them are well written and have their pros and cons. were i in pathologic and i had to choose one i’d probably be a termite but everyone around me seems to think i’m a utopian. is it bc i love peter so much

10. What would you be like as a Pathologic character?

this question is a hard one! i did make a self insert once, mile-a-minute, but they’ve become their own oc by now. i think i’d be very...... very afraid...... probably isolating myself why does every pathologic character break quarantine???? also you could trade beetles with me :) thats about all i’ve got sorry this is real short

11. What is something you would change, writing-wise, about either game?

UGH i’ve been gushing about pathologic because. obviously i love this game so much. but the way it handles racism & such (in both games!) leaves much to be desired :/

i see a lot of the points it’s trying to make but i think the way they’re handled can be very messy. there are moments that work very well but. a lot that don’t. (i am aware that dybowski writes partially from his own experiences)

all too often the game “validates” the kin’s oppression and... at times paints them as oddly antagonistic? i don’t like how often as artemy you’re able to be like “i’m not one of those beasts” and i think there are better ways to touch on his internalized racism. in general the constant comparisons to animals is weird. you get big vlad who is obviously explicitly racist comparing them to animals, but then sometimes it’s like “ACTUALLY calling them animals is fine :)”

i think the herb brides are kind of. Hm. in their portrayal. also using parts of the buryat alphabet to denote an accent is weird. making odongh and herb brides inhuman is weird. connecting the kin to Magic is weird.

and, listen, i’d really like to not be playing Artemy Burakh Experiences a Microaggression Simulator every time i’m playing the haruspex route. hate that you either can’t call ppl out on their shit or if you can it ends the conversation/bars you from getting necessary information. glad you at least get to drag the vlads, i guess?

i also was talking about this but wrt peter specifically, and this issue is present throughout the game but it’s especially visible with peter, i don’t like how often you can mock him for his addiction.

he’s obviously in an extremely rough patch! being able to be just so plain cruel to him about the dependency on alcohol (and iirc in p1 hallucinogens, bc aglaya mentions it) he’s formed to cope with his mental illness & trauma just feels bad. especially because yes it is not a healthy coping mechanism at all but... it still is a coping mechanism, if that makes sense?

the way you’re able to constantly rub it in his face feels awful. peter is fully aware that it isn’t good for him and shows a desire to quit. even if he didn’t it would still be awful to say because. it’s just insensitive. like you don’t just go up to someone and keep being like HEY YOU DRINK A LOT YOU SHOULD STOP DOING THAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT WATER IS? feels really bad to keep harping on something that causes him pain and that he struggles with every single day.

however peter does have moments where he tells you Not to say that, or if you pry into why he drinks he’ll outright say he doesn’t remember you being his friend, which is better than nothing.

in p1 moreso than p2 i hate how you can be like oh he’s craaaazy he’s off his rocker he’s delusional!!!! that “why, i never... an architect of schizophrenia!” comment sticks in my mind because it’s just... so genuinely mean. especially because if i remember correctly that line is from when he’s planning on LITERALLY FUCKING BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

i think if they were going to have all of this they should have gone more in depth on how it’s really. not good that he’s treated so poorly. and i do believe that’s what they were going for, a la the art book w/ the whole “not to be made into a drunken clown, this is a tragic character”, etc. but it just doesn’t land. i’m holding out for the bachelor and changeling routes in p2 to see if they expand upon any of it but i highly doubt i’ll be satisfied in this regard.

i stand by the One time it was really fucking funny to clown on peter being the time you can tell him little girls eat raspberries and earthworms and he just believes you

#asks #patho #GODDDDDD #i hope you wanted to read an essay today

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writinglionqueen · 4 years ago

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Twenty Questions

Tagged by: @cowboyshit thanks sweetie!! @superrezzy00 and @junglecassidy thanks guys!!

What do you prefer to be called name-wise? I like going by Bri or Brianna. Usually my family calls me Anna...or their own fun nicknames

When is your birthday? August 12th

Where do you live? I live in the town just below the city of Omaha in Nebraska

Three things you are doing right now? Doing this, worrying about life, and thinking about writing fics

Four fandoms that have peaked your interest Wrestling and that’s the most recent and......technically the only one....since I don’t interact with other fan bases like I do that one. Like....I’m a fan of small things like Youtubers and little niches of life

How has the pandemic been treating you? Well, I was in college when it first started back in March. And then my school had the fun idea of first, going online which....as someone who has a hard time focusing and retaining information through online things, it wasn’t easy. After that I had to move twice in one week because of the pandemic, I had to move from my apartment-like dorm to a small dorm by myself for 4 days then I had to move across campus into a dorm meant to house 4 people all alone and....that was a struggle. I didn’t like being alone. Then I had to move back home in August and I finished my degree....got a seasonal job at a pumpkin patch and now I’m looking to find a job now while I’m in my own place and.....gosh....a lot of things could’ve gone better this year but....it wasn’t the pandemic’s fault or anything. But a lot of stuff during the pandemic that’s happened has been such a struggle for my mental health and everything....

A song you can’t stop listening to right now? Umm....tbh WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion...like.....idk it’s been on my mind a lot lol and I tend to have like a varying list of songs ranging from like ones in kids movies I grew up with to wrestling theme songs and even the early 2000′s songs I listen to....but WAP has been on my brain no thanks to the Drew video @jazzy-tzw made

How old are you? 22!

School, university, occupation, other? I just finished my degree in animal science now I’m currently trying to find a job to make ends meet but that’s been a little tough as of late....

Do you prefer heat or cold? Cold! Because at least I can add on layers if it’s cold. I hate the heat especially since my birthday is in August and it can get up to 103 to even a 110 degree index here.

Name one fact others may not know about you Oooh....idk what people don’t know about me....but....let’s go with the fact I have a birthmark on my back that looks like a kiss mark. Is that interesting enough? lol

Are you shy? Yes! Irl, I am very shy, I won’t ask someone a question unless I know them. Once I start getting to know people though, I will be more relax and more bubbly. And mainly with my friends. But if I have to socialize with someone, I will do it.

Preferred pronouns? She/Her/Hers

Biggest pet peeves? Someone beating around the bush when I’m directly talking to them. I had an art teacher in high school and she hated a painting I was doing and apparently had hinted she hated it until the day before it was due when she pulled me aside and told me I should change my piece (basically start over) and she gave me an extra week. It...was the worst feeling because she would’ve saved me time by being upfront (and she was the reason I never wanted to pursue art because her criticism wasn’t helpful) but I hate people who aren’t upfront, especially when I’m talking to them. I also hate when....people lead me on. I’m very obvious about my feelings and I’m upfront about it when I get to it....so feeling as if someone was dragging me along for a ride only to dump me off a cliff (The feeling) isn’t fun and I hate it. And I’m annoyed by people who want to “messy” when that just entails them to be fucking petty ass people who make fun of others for trivial things but can’t stand when it’s done to them. It happens so much in this fandom and the reason I stick to the friends I have on here. The whole idea of being “messy” to them is to laugh at other people’s expense by stirring a pot and then laughing when people get rightfully upset. JS

What is your favorite “dere” type? Oh I’ve seen this before but it’s a niche thing that I don’t know much about so I can’t answer it

Rate your life from 1-10; 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be. A solid.....6 or 7. Lately my life has been pretty fucking sucky in terms of luck and in terms of disappointment. I’ve had faced so much heartache this year and pain and just major disappointments that made me afraid of some things. But in general, my past wasn’t terrible but there are moments that have happened that I won’t forget and aren’t the best....a solid 10 would mean I lived a comfortable life and....I can’t say it’s been a 10.

What’s your main blog? This one. I have 2 blogs (technically 3 since one is a backup in case I get the case of people reporting my blog for nothing again). The last one I had was basically when I used to be in the 1D fandom and this one is the only one I actually post from.

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? Um....I kinda...like people who won’t flake on me....I’ve had a lot of people do that in the past which is why I’m particular to that sorta thing. I have a certain way of differentiating a “friend” vs “best friends” and that distinction means so much to me....so....to betray that level of connection or even.....be offput by it (meaning the feeling isn’t as mutual [and you say it to my face]) then you won’t be a part of my life....and that’s....just how I am. I’ve had a lot of fake friends (in the sense that my friendship to them meant nothing or not even mean to treat me with like kindness or whatever) so I’m not here for that anymore.

tagging: @jazzy-tzw @kalliravenne @thatnerdwriter @flawlessglamazon @gold--gucciempress

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Lola & Astrid

Lola: [come in to get your tattoo then, which is on the back of her neck/shoulder blade moment which isn't the worst but I think it vibrates on those bones pretty hard, also the embroidery technique/colour will make it worse/more time, overall vibe a sassy, confident bitch but lowkey nervous on this tattoo] Astrid: [I like to think she's already in there and probably has been for hours because whether it's big or small on this occasion they obvs let her stop whenever she wants and for as long as she wants cos they know her so we just chilling with the dog BFF who goes everywhere with her lowkey and both having a drink of water casually so the dog can go up to her like hey gal] Lola: [have loads of pictures of her with dogs and cats, so gonna say we're an animal hoe and gonna be extra over this lil dog then AFTER you've stroked and loved upon it 'Shit, I've not distracted it, have I? I'm so sorry' like when you aren't meant to with blind people service dogs] Astrid: [just straight up talking to this dog like she's a person like are you okay, do you wanna go and the dog's like nah I'm fine by giving a Lola a toy or something like I think we should play with this gal] Lola: [straight up throwing this toy like we aren't in a tattoo shop like please be careful, probably getting told off by a grumpy tattoo dude and just loling like whoops 'cos the kind of carefree hoe we are 'what's your name?' but we are talking to the dog] Astrid: [being like 'did you forget we like rules?' @ the dog as if she caused this trouble herself and full naming her like a cross mum but we not cross we're more playful about it because autistic bants] Lola: ['so distinguished, suits you madam' and shakes her paw, then touching one of Astrid's leg tattoos as is clearly ground level with this dog rn 'that's gorgeous, how many do you have?'] Astrid: [when you an affectionate af person but you don't know her like that so then you can't answer that question and she must think you're being so rude sorry gal, but let's say the tattoo person answers for you cos probably did most of them but not all so gets it wrong so then you have to answer whatever the right number is] Lola: [you really shouldn't grab people but that's the kinda hoe you are so that's the vibe lol, undeterred but do let go of her leg thanks, just talking about ALL the tattoo ideas you have] Astrid: [at least you can likewise go off about that babe because they are literally another thing you collect/comforts you and makes you feel safe so like you always wanna get more, try not to actually talk over her and listen but it's okay if you do, she'll get over it] Lola: [just listening intently anyway and bowing to her superior knowledge on it 'cos you wanna get more even though you have yet to start this one and are gonna be sobbing in a sec lolll, very seriously turning to the dog 'Winnie, will you hold my hand?' then turning back to Astrid and rolling her eyes 'my girlfriend was too shamed to be seen with me'] Astrid: [just going OFF about aftercare too before she's even started this tattoo because as far as you're concerned there is only one right way to do it and everything else is wrong and a huge no, the grumpy tattoo dude from earlier who Lola's gonna end up having is just gonna try and be like nah she's wrong, this this and this is fine but shh sir tbh. The dog just grinning through all this cos she's buzzing about the energy 'She's not ever going to be heavy enough for proprioceptive stimming but it's still calming when she lies with you, she's soft and she smells nice, does that make sense?' her confused face when she then doesn't understand what she means about her girlfriend not wanting to be here though like um why] Lola: [just ignoring the man like the true lesbian you are, be careful girl, nodding 'total sense, Miss Winifred is a vibe' and giving her an approving sniff like yes 'it smells like bleach in here' probably a good thing babe but we're not happy lol 'ugh, 'cos she's so tough and I'm going to embarrass her' shakes her head like oh girlfriends] Astrid: [repeating back to Winnie that she's a vibe because you like the sound of that thank you but whatever you're gonna say about how it smells in here is interrupted by grumpy tattoo dude complaining that it's because Astrid always has to OTT clean up the station etc and blah before they start, like don't out her like that sir and don't be a dick so we're not happy about his vibe rn] Lola: ['you should be happy she's doing the hard work for you' even though we were the one complaining about the smell, we're not about it] Astrid: ['he's not a happy person' hahaha suck it sir] Lola: ['that's so sad, what happened?' oh gal] Astrid: [just telling her this dude's life story like he's not right there because we don't understand sarcasm bye] Lola: [when you weren't even being sarcastic but you were not expecting her to reply and you know he's not gonna be thrilled so you put your finger to your lips like shh but smiling at her so she knows you aren't being a dick like stfu] Astrid: [being like oh do you want some quiet, like offering to get them to turn down the music they always blast in tattoo places] Lola: ['can we change the station?' like this rock shit is not a #vibe honey and getting out your phone and aux cord from your bag] Astrid: [just like 'it's not a vibe [name of your tattoo gal] can we change it to a vibe?' because we're saying vibe now and obvs this woman will cos she's a good egg] Lola: [putting on your femme gay girl bubblegum pop playlist like every other person in here/grumpy tattoo man is going to be taking the piss but we aren't aware 'cos we're that bitch and just dancing around like it's the clerb] Astrid: [Astrid and Winnie are vibing, picking this dog up like do you wanna dance lil queen as if we're not in the middle of a tattoo sesh] Lola: [hyping them up in a very yasss queen manner and then getting interrupted by this dude being like are you done pissing about and just twerking at him like mwah 😘 as you climb your ass up onto this bench, then being like 'WINNIE, I NEED YOU' very dramatically with grabby hands and all, this man like oh my god] Astrid: [we're loling at her antics and then putting Winnie on her lap because this angel will look after you gal so we can finally get some more of our own tattoo done] Lola: [good incentive not to drop this dog or shriek in her ears gal, 'cos gonna be so OTT about this pain obvs, all of this painting a picture as why your butch tatted gf did not wanna be here, just 🥺🥺🥺 at Astrid 'does it hurt you?' 'cos gf popping off like it doesn't which is a lie like when people say childbirth doesn't like admit it even if you can hack it] Astrid: ['not as much as other things' because we matter of fact about it instead of being like her girlfriend and pretending nothing is happening here] Lola: [we aren't really listening anyway just talking to talk here 'beauty is pain'] Astrid: [just repeating that like hmmm idk ' you're saying you feel more beautiful now, they'll want to put that on the signs outside'] Lola: ['They've got better promo' and giving Astrid's tattooist a look, 'cos the insecurity jumped out when pain] Astrid: [just going off about how much you like it here and you've told everyone about it like lol peeps have said they should pay me] Lola: ['yours are so cool' and asking her why she got that one and when etc etc] Astrid: [telling her everything even if like some of this shit is personal like tell me those roses aren't because of Ro you can't] Lola: [when you're an oversharer so you are 1. not phased by this 2. can say how this is for your abuela who's dying] Astrid: [genuinely is upset about this and asking loads of questions about her like obvs how old is she but also about her as a person and what she likes and how she was living before this] Lola: [we was already crying from the pain so you know, just carry on lmao, telling her that you live with her, that she's your only family and she's a bomb cook and she loves you even though you're gay and you go to bingo together on Thursdays] Astrid: [when you're just like are you gonna live with your girlfriend and cook together and go to bingo with her] Lola: ['I don't know' big sigh 'Do you live with your dad?'] Astrid: [hardcore like BUT WHAT WILL YOU DO because we're so upset about this like we can't answer your question until we get one that's okay here] Lola: [reaching over like hey it's okay 'I'll work it out'] Astrid: [just like oh yeah I do live with my dad btw after ages has passed and she's probably forgot she even asked but we needed a sec there] Lola: ['what's he like?'] Astrid: ['he's weird but not like I'm weird, just not how everyone says a dad should be-' trying to find a way to word wtf Drew is like lol 'he doesn't like rules or keeping things clean oh and he's a really shit driver who plays music too loud and he dresses too young'] Lola: ['sounds like every dude I've ever met' lols, wiping her tears 'has he always been like that or is it a midlife crisis moment?'] Astrid: [lols too because oh Drew you hot mess 'he fell out of his pram and wasn't claimed for 7 days'] Lola: [nods solemnly 'mine too'] Astrid: ['but he makes sure my food doesn't touch and never makes me eat anything I know will be fucking gross and he took me to go get Winnie' like but I do love him] Lola: [gives Winnie love and smiles 'not all bad then' pauses 'mine used to take me to ballet, and never get bored of me showing him my routines'] Astrid: [just going off about this Barbie ballet movie called Barbie and the pink shoes like have you seen it because I figure why not have dolls as a special interest, thanks Ro, though she'd fuck with Bratz and Monster High more] Lola: [talking about the red shoes 'cos assumedly what it is based on and saying you'll look up the Barbie version online 'when Ren is at work'] Astrid: [just chatting about it to the point that she doesn't even need to see it cos you've told her everything but letting her know that Barbie isn't your fave and making sure she knows what you fuck with more like this is vital info okay] Lola: ['Like Yasmin is technically the Hispanic queen like me but I do be looking more Jade and she fucks with cats so ME' 'cos definitely a girl who was into dolls and the bratz are making a resurgence in the culture anyway huns] Astrid: [we're living a life where we only accept the OG's so of course she gotta be that blonde hun who is described as wide-eyed and bubbly and loves her friends more than anything in the world so pop off but we not fucking with soccer and we gotta let Lola know] Lola: ['I see it' like just being like you're an angel there nbd] Astrid: [being like I do support cheese pizza ONLY but thai curry wtf] Lola: [loling like 'food isn't food unless it has at least two carbs and all the cheese you can throw at it'] Astrid: [just listing off everything Jade likes in the known world like do you like these things or no] Lola: [replying like this is a vogue 73 questions I bet tattoo dude is delighted lol] Astrid: [we're having fun here sir excuse you] Lola: ['do you have a Jade in your group already?'] Astrid: [The calming force that she is, Winnie is the group's Yasmin, she can handle a sob story, as you've seen so that's wrong' looks at her like soz gal I know you're offended 'my other best friend is most like Sasha, I don't know if I'm allowed to say that when she isn't black though'] Lola: [looks around at how white everyone here deffo is like I won't tell on you, claps her hands like yay 'we can be friends then'] Astrid: [when you're clearly buzzing about this, giving her your phone like this is my number take it thank you] Lola: [saves it as angel, oh that won't cause any drama with your gf no no lol, taking the tattoo dudes biro or whatever and being like hold out your hand? but thankfully NOT just doing it 'cos she may not vibe gal] Astrid: [at first is like ?? because hasn't connected the dots of what she wants her to do and why but then is like oh okay and does] Lola: [being like to the tattoo lady 'now make it permanent' loling like hohoho] Astrid: [loling 'when I know you better' like we considering this] Lola: [so flattered like omg me and blowing kisses] Astrid: [gotta get some more water cos we recognising that we're getting a bit too buzzing rn so obvs asking her if she wants some] Lola: [just like lifesaver 'cos we been crying so hard over here lol] Astrid: [gotta get some for Winnie too even if she don't want because that's a routine hun] Lola: [live your best life babe you deserve it] Astrid: [let's say her tattoo is then finally done and she abruptly leaves like it was nice to meet you I gotta go now bye because it kills me how they all did that on that show every time] Lola: [the only time you've been shooketh 'cos you'd be a hang around saying bye for ages bitch] Lola: WHERE DID YOU GO?! Astrid: hOmE Astrid: is YOuR tattOO fiNishED? Lola: [sends a progress picture she's made that man take lol] Astrid: 25-30 miNS leFT Lola: yeah? Lola: 🙌 I am about to PEE my pants Astrid: iT'LL bE lONgEr wiTH BreAks but YOu Wont bE alloWED bacK iF yOu dONt TakE oNE foR THaT Lola: 😄 I did a little but we've had no leaks Lola: got my big girl panties on Astrid: 👙 is A GooD iDeA tOooooOOOOO Lola: so NOT letting him do my underboob though Astrid: nO ⛔ no ⛔ Lola: the chick you were with seemed kinda cool though Lola: not gonna write off the whole shop Astrid: 🌟 ✨ sHE MAkEs me fEEL coMFoRTaBLe 🌟 ✨ Astrid: thE reVIeW Astrid: & thE VIBE Lola: love that Lola: don't know how he can do such colourful work and be so sad ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: van GOGH? Astrid: 🌻🌻🌻🌻👂💛💛 Lola: 🤯🤯🤯 Astrid: Do thEy ShARE a SOUL doEs thAT maKE senSE? Astrid: hMMMM Lola: reincarnation baby Astrid: dO you BEliEVE in it? Astrid: a BIG quESTion Lola: I think it's technically a ❌❌❌ Lola: but I think it's cool Lola: like past lives, all the AMAZING people in history you could've been Astrid: I DonT unDERstAnd wHY is iT ❌❌❌ if YoU liKE iT? Lola: Jesus and Abuela 💘 Lola: 💀 is very important to us Astrid: oHhhhhhhH Astrid: hEAvEn ☁👼☁ Astrid: mY muM taUGHt mE about THat Lola: 🧹🌻🦋🌞🍞 Lola: we believe souls come back, but not as other people, always themselves, even if they take a different form Lola: and they come back all the time, though Jesus hasn't come back YET Astrid: 👻👻👻👻 Lola: I can do an offering for your mum if you like Astrid: shE woULdNT coMe bACK for 🍞 Astrid: wHaT ElSe can THey be? Lola: you can put all the person's favourite things on their altar, you can skip the bread Astrid: 🕯🌹🕯🩺🕯🥀🕯🦴 Lola: wouldn't look out of place Astrid: sHe LiKEd DollS tooOOOO but thERe's No emoJi?? Lola: that's so RUDE Lola: did she get you into dolls, what was the first one you got? Astrid: 🧚🏻 thoUGH & 🔮 & 🧙🏼 Astrid: [sends her a picture of some creepy doll because of course she still has it and cue a huge ramble about everything possible about this doll like soz gal you didn't ask for that level of detail] Lola: looks like la catrina's 👶 Lola: I like it Lola: what doll would your mum be? Astrid: [when you disappear forever lowkey to do all the research you can about that just falling down a rabbit hole without saying bye] Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: loVE that Lola: right?! Lola: we STAN an inclusive queen Astrid: caNT waIT tO TeLl mY otHER bFf she is GOiNg to bE so ExCitEd Lola: do you bake? I will send you a recipe for some sugar 💀 cookies Lola: i always loved decorating them Lola: and eating them, duh 😋 Astrid: I dOnT know hOw TO dO that Astrid: ❌❌❌ Lola: I can make them, if you wanna meet up again Lola: or come teach you, that would be fun Astrid: here? Lola: if you want Lola: you could come to mine but you'd have to meet abuela and that might be a LOT ??? Astrid: iTs nOT a ⛔ no if weRe frIeNds Astrid: i THinK yoU couLD bE heRE Lola: I'm a good guy, I promise Lola: I'll be super polite and say please and thank you and take my shoes off Astrid: buT 🍭 🍬 🧁 🍫 🍩 🍪 🍨 wILl maKE mY mum 😢 oR 😡 iF sHE is a 👻 Astrid: 🤫 Lola: it's all about celebrating life anyways Lola: what's better than tasty food Lola: my mother was the same though Lola: but abuela loved food because it made people 😄🥰 she didn't care if it made you fat too Lola: plenty of time to be 💀🦴s Astrid: hMMMmmm Astrid: 👌 Astrid: I wAnt to BE 😄🥰 Lola: maybe your friend would like some too Lola: not Miss Winnie though, too much sugar for 🐶 Astrid: IlL exPLain Astrid: sheS vERY 🤓 Astrid: thATs sMArt noT an INsult Lola: I could tell Lola: I very much enjoyed meeting her Astrid: & mE? Lola: OF COURSE you, gurl Lola: you were so nice and helpful Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Astrid: thANKs Lola: you're welcome ❣️ Lola: are you from here, I like your name, it's unusual Astrid: I dOnT liKE to bE reFErRed tO bY it Astrid: it maKEs mE FeeL liKe PeOPLe ARe 😤 😠 😡 Lola: oh no, I'm sorry Lola: is there anything you would like me to call you instead? Astrid: ...... Astrid: I doNt KnOw Lola: no probs Lola: don't need to call you anything we'll manage just fine without 🙃 Astrid: iS thAt aN oKaY anSWer? Lola: of course it is! Lola: it wouldn't be okay for me to call you a name you didn't like, that's just rude Lola: my gf HATES the name she got as a 👶 so she changed it Astrid: liKe @ scHoOL Astrid: I goT caLLed loAds of namES thERE Astrid: �� 👹 👺 🤡 💩 👻 💀 ☠️ 👽 👾 🤖 🎃 Lola: 😢👎 Lola: school SUCKED Lola: you're cool Astrid: thEy jUsT doNt unDERsTand mY 🧠 Astrid: mE eiTHeR mE eiTHeR Lola: who does Lola: still don't have to be a 🍆 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: that's what I'm talking about Astrid: yOu aRe GoiNg To LikE mY aUntY 🧠 ❤ 👀 Astrid: bUt U CaNt bRInG hEr HeRE foR 💀🍪 Lola: why not? Astrid: mY DaD & hER ❌❌❌ Lola: family drama Lola: say no more Lola: abuela only talks about my mother when she wants to cuss her out, and that's her daughter so 🤷 Astrid: hEs BaD buT nOT to ME? I doNt unDERstAnd hoW thAT iS suPposED to maKE seNse Lola: you're special to him Astrid: BuT whY aREnt my SiSTeRs sPEcial toOOOo? Astrid: beCausE theIR muMs aRE dIFFeRenT or Astrid: my BrOThEr haS anOTher DiffErent mUm agaIN Astrid: itS conFUsinG Lola: people are a lot of different things all at once, I think Lola: they don't all fit together right, it is confusing Astrid: wHEn yoU DiE aRE yOU NoOOO thiNGs Or moRE thinGS? Lola: Hmm Lola: I think more Lola: everything, and then the missing pieces make it all make sense Astrid: maybe they ARe tOOOoo sPEciAl then, THaT sisTER & ThOse mums dAD canT DeaL Astrid: hmmM Lola: could be Lola: being dead is meant to be easier than being alive, but it isn't perfect Astrid: & mY OthEr SisTER diDnt diE whEn sHe NeaRLY diD sO mAYBe heS coNFuSed AbOUT THat Lola: could you ask him? Lola: or would he be 😢 or 😡? Astrid: heS not my TaLking To pErsoN heS mY DoinG peRsOn Lola: that's important too Lola: sometimes it's actually better not having the answers Astrid: I sHOULDvE saID that @ scHOol Astrid: BettER not HAVinG thE anSWERS sORRy Lola: 😅 Lola: if ONLY Lola: I wouldn't say ANYTHING at school Astrid: I diDnT taLk unTiL aFter my mUm dIeD Astrid: moSTlY Lola: at all? Astrid: ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: did you talk to your dad? Astrid: somE WoRdS Lola: the rest you just got what you needed in other ways Lola: that's cool Astrid: i THiNk it waS BaD oF mE Astrid: maYbe Astrid: .... Lola: but was it bad for you Lola: that's the important thing Lola: its frustrating when people don't understand you, but people get frustrated when they don't understand, even though they might not still when you tell them with words Astrid: iS thAT wHy yOU didNT talK @ sChooL? Lola: i took up too much space just being there Lola: without taking up the 💬 too Astrid: tOo muCh Space Astrid: hmmM Lola: that's what they thought Lola: basically Astrid: pEoPLe DoNt unDErstaND yOu Astrid: how mUch spaCE yoU neEd Lola: they don't like it ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: i'm not trying to take other people's space though Astrid: tOO muCH iS ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Astrid: toOOOo mUch AnyTHiNG Lola: it is? Astrid: ItS 😢 or 😡 Astrid: itS beInG weIRd Lola: there's no such thing as too much 🐶😸 though Astrid: NeVEr!! Lola: exactly Lola: don't think there's any rules that you can stick to everything Lola: always exceptions Astrid: I wriTE liKe thIs beCauSe thOse rULes are Boring Astrid: loAdS of RulEs doNt maKe sEnSe Lola: I like how you write Lola: it's more interesting to read Astrid: yOu cAn Do iT toO if You waNT Lola: really? Lola: thanks, I'll try it out 😄 Lola: ITs actUallLY REAlLY hARd tO Be TOtallY raNDoM Lola: oTHER New RuLES poP UP in YOuR hEaD Astrid: ItS a VIBE Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: tOTAlLy Lola: LikE THOse nEwSPApEr RAnsOM notEs Lola: aEStheTIc Astrid: ??? Lola: you know in films, when a killer or a kidnapper sends the person a note, they cut up bits of newspapers and magazines so the note is all different fonts and sizes and stuff Lola: [examples Lola: I liKE ThAT LOooooooOOoOKk Astrid: OhHH WoW Astrid: cAn I sEnD YoU onE? Lola: THaTs whaT IT RemINDS mE OF Lola: UM yeS Astrid: TheY dO it So NoBoDy knowS itS from THem YeaH? Astrid: hoW wiLL you Know ItS from mE? Lola: YEah Lola: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't 😱 Lola: I nEVEr GeT 💌 Astrid: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't scared Astrid: do the outside of it normal, like this Lola: [her address] there you go Lola: a stamp and it'll be perfect Astrid: ThiS is ReAllY whERe U Live? Astrid: I knoW whEre tHiS is Lola: you do? Astrid: yEAH Astrid: itS By a SHop I lIkE Lola: maybe you could show me 🙃 Astrid: I JuST geT 🍓 thEn I LeAVe Astrid: thEY haVe to Be from ThEre Astrid: a RuLe Lola: nOW i waNt TO tRy SomE Astrid: diD yoUr GirLfrIEnD liKE youR TaTTOo? Astrid: I caNt STop THinkiNG aBoUT iT Lola: She lIKEs 🖤 🤍 bUT I seNT hEr ThE piC & She SAid wAs cUUUUUuUuUUuUuTeeeeeeE Astrid: iS shE gONna coMe wiTh yOU neXT timE? Lola: mAYb ❓🤔 Astrid: tHats noT 🖤 🤍 Astrid: sHe shOUld saY yeAH oR NO Lola: TrUuUuuUuUUUUUUUu Lola: I'll tell her Astrid: Do YoU lIkE haVinG a girlFRieND? Lola: 🤗 & 😘 R gOoOOoddD Astrid: ❓🤔 Lola: you like hugs and kisses? Astrid: PlaTOnic is DiFFeRent Astrid: i LikE theM thOUgh Lola: yeah Lola: with a girlfriend, you just get them all the time Astrid: ? ShE dOeSnt asK you ? Lola: she doesn't need to Lola: if I said stop she would Lola: it's just nice having a person around, is what I meant 🙃 Astrid: 👌 thAT maKEs SeNse Lola: do you like 🧑 or 👩 or none or both Astrid: 👩 👩🏻 👩🏽 👩🏾 👩🏿 Lola: hi-5 Lola: me too 😄 Astrid: but i DoNt have a GIRLfrieNd Lola: would you like one? Lola: we could go out 💃💃 Astrid: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Astrid: yeAh Astrid: yOuRe a GooD 💃 Lola: YOU TOO ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: I KNOW A BAR THAT WOULD LET WINNIE IN Astrid: yOU dO????????? Lola: i KNow tHe OWneR Lola: heS SO coOL Lola: and he has his own dog Finola who sings with him Astrid: I diDNT knOw dOGs coULd sING Astrid: WiNNie coULd hAVE a SeCRET talENt Lola: they do somewhere over the 🌈 it's very good Astrid: wheN cAN we Go? Lola: 😄 When are you free? this weekend? Astrid: FriDAY Lola: 👏 let's DO IT Astrid: 🕐 🕑 🕒 🕓 🕔 🕕 🕖 🕗 🕘 🕙 🕚 🕛 🕜 🕝 🕞 🕟 🕠 🕡 🕢 �� 🕤 🕥 🕦 🕧 Astrid: ? Lola: 🤔 8? Astrid: To bE @ yOUr hOUse oR ThEre? Lola: we could get 🍓s first and eat them in the park Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 Lola: 🙌 IT'LL BE FUN Astrid: WeRe bOTh eXciTed Astrid: 😆 Lola: 💃💃💃 Lola: have to plan my outfit Astrid: I liKeD uR ouTfit yOu werE weaRing Lola: you're so 🍧 🍨 🍦 🥧 🧁 🍰 🎂 🍮 🍭 🍬 🍫 🍿 🍩 🍪 thank you 😚 Lola: you looked amazing Astrid: I nEEd to dyE mY haiR a new ColOur Lola: have you done every colour??? Astrid: ⛔❌ 🖤 🤎 Lola: boring in comparison to the rest of the 🌈 Astrid: & hARd to GEt Out ❤️ & 💜 sTAY TooOO bUT thEY caN bE maDE inTo a PaTTeRN sO its Not 😢 oR 😠 Lola: 🦜 Astrid: BiRdS aRE weiRD Astrid: mY AunTy haS 🐓 & I ONLy liKE thEm WhEn TheYrE 🐤 🐣 🐥 Lola: DOES SHE HAVE ANY BABIES RIGHT NOW Astrid: yEaH Astrid: thEyre sOFt Lola: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that's so cuteee Astrid: doNt be sad shE wonT eaT thEM Lola: but i don't have any🐤 🐣 🐥 Astrid: IlL aSk heR iF you CAn Lola: our apartment is tiny Lola: wouldn't be fair for the poor chickie Astrid: YoU cOuLd VisIt THem Lola: I'll have to buy some 🌽 too Astrid: TheYll be YouR FRIEnds ToooOOOOo Astrid: loVe ThAT Lola: new friends are always welcome Lola: especially fluffy ones Astrid: WiNNie aGReeS Astrid: & saYs dOnT foRGet sheS the FLUFFiest Astrid: she gETs JeaLOUs Lola: 🤭 Lola: of course Lola: she's a babe Astrid: evERYoNe saYs I was wHEn mY brOTHer waS a 👶 bUT i Dont remeMBEr thaT Lola: aw, you helped out? Lola: that's so cute Astrid: 👶 NeED lOAds of HeLp Astrid: haVE yOu EVer heLd onE? TheY caNt suPPOrt their Own HeaDs Astrid: itS wilD Lola: I've actually never held a baby Lola: or really met one, which is weird, I'd never thought about that Astrid: !!!!!!!! Astrid: My FamILY iS SoooOOOOO BiG Astrid: 👶👶🏻👶🏼👶🏽👶🏾 Lola: do you like it? what's good and what's bad? Astrid: YoU aRenT evER aLOne Astrid: thatS gOod OR Bad Astrid: Good & BAD Lola: I can picture that Astrid: bUT itS FUn & LOud Astrid: you LiKe hugS so Youd likE it Lola: yeah Lola: I think so Lola: abuela was from a big family Lola: but it's just us here Astrid: WhERe aRE TheY aLL? Lola: her family? Lola: mostly dead Lola: the ones she would've known, sisters, brothers Lola: their kids are probably still in Mexico but she doesn't know any of them properly Astrid: Im SoRrY Lola: you don't have to be sorry Astrid: ItS saD fOR hER Astrid: I mEAn Lola: yeah Lola: she left a lot behind Lola: but she's been happy here Astrid: & YoURE haPPy? Lola: mostly and most days Lola: not 🖤 & 🤍 Astrid: nOT 🖤 & 🤍 Lola: nothing is ever perfect, is it Astrid: mAyBe WinniE is Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: I am willing to believe that and let her have it too 💝🐶 Astrid: [a happy picture of this dog like thank you I'm buzzing] Lola: an angel Lola: or princess, I should say Astrid: [a picture of this dog with some kind of tiara moment on because of course we can] Lola: 🙇 Lola: I'll find mine when I get home Astrid: YoU hAve One? Lola: duh gurl Lola: it's a vibe Lola: 👑🌈💃😘 Astrid: iT is A Vibe Lola: you know a vibe when you 👀 one Lola: i CaN TeLL Astrid: I haVE tO gO Astrid: doNT fORget FriDAY Astrid: @ 8 Astrid: 🍓!! Lola: Oh, okay Lola: Looking forward to it ✨

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flowrxchild · 5 years ago

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I was tagged by the sweet @moonchildwildheart thanks lovey! I love these kinds of tags they’re so much fun!! ❤️

What was the last thing you read?

My study notes for an essay T-T

Favourite movie?

Moonrise Kingdom!

Favourite book?

It’s been the Goldfinch for a long time but as of recently I’ve fallen in love with Jenny Slate’s Little Weirds

Dream date?

Ouu like a picnic or stargazing of something like that. Laying face down in the mud under a full moon could be romantic if you rlly think about it.

Do you have a crush?

I don’t think there’s been a moment of my waking life that I havnt...

What are your hobbies?

I love to paint! I used do a lot of art but life’s kept me really busy as of recently and I don’t get to do it as much as I’d like :(

What’s your favourite time of day?

Late afternoon/golden hour! Ik it’s corny but it’s so pretty how could you not be in love???

If you could look like anything, what would you look like?

The Celestial Seasonings Sleetime Tea bear. That’s literally all I want for myself.

Are you romantic?

*leans dramatically on a staircase clutching my forehead* yes.

What’s your favourite type of weather?

Warm and lightly breezy. The opposite of whatever hell it is now in Canada...

What do you like talking about?

Movies and music always. I’m obviously a dork about it.

What are your turn ons?

Attentive affection like when someone touches you when they talk to you or eye contact I’m like 👁👄👁

Turn offs?

Rudeness. If someone’s mean or pushy yuck

If you got a tattoo what would it be and where would you get it?

I have a lot of stick and pokes everywhere that are super random lol but if I had to get an official one it’d probably be something floral on my arm?? I’m too indecisive to be a tattoo person :/

Do you have any pets?

I have a stinker of a black cat named Odin and he’s the loveliest boy to ever be

Dream job?

Something in the film industry...still to be determined

Dream place to live?

In the country? I’ve lived in a big city all my life and I’ve always wanted to be somewhere quieter and more serene

Dream vacation?

I don’t really know tbh...I love traveling anywhere so any trip would be a dream!

Do you have any piercings?

My ears and my cartilage. Used to have my septum but rip to her :(

If you had kids, what would you name them?

I really don’t know I always feel like the only person who doesn’t have a list I think...

What are your best traits?

My sense of humour has gotten me through a lot...Something bad will happen and I am forced to laugh in its face. Call it what it is: big goblin energy...Also I cherish my artistic eye aahasksk

Worst traits?

I’m a horribly distracted person lmao which makes me maybe the worlds worst reciever of information... I’ve been called flightly and disinterested because of it :( im also super anxious and i let it get the best of me sometimes...

What’s your worst fear?

Losing the people I love. Not being able to experience certain things.

What do you want to eat right now?

Im always craving brownies. I could eat a brownie rn I would not complain.

What’s your best vacation you’ve ever been on?

I’ve not traveled a ton but I went to London when I was 16 and I loved every minute of it!

Favourite city?

Gotta be biased and say my home Toronto! Even though I complain about it a lot, it’s raised me well!

Favourite social media platform?

Tumblr and twitter for sure! They’re kind of addictive

Favourite article of clothing?

Right now, it’s my black turtleneck. Gotta love a classic turtleneck ammirite?

Do you play any sports?

Bold of you to assume my bones are able to carry my akward ass in any other form besides walking. When I was a kid my parents forced me to play soccer and I literally used to lay in the field and pretend I was too sick to stand. Like during the game. The melodrama has not toned down since.

Favourite meal of the day?

Dinner I guess? It’s got the most yumminess possibility. The yummy levels are over 9000

What are you excited for?

Christmas break! This semester is beating my ass and I can’t wait for it to no longer be

Not excited for?

My finals.

When was the last time you cried?

Last night over the amount of work I had to do LOL

Dream house?

Omg a cabin or like a cottage home!! uGh itd be a dream!! Jus me and the trees

What’s something you hate about the world?

Injustice, prejudice and ignorance. I have no tolerance for it and there seems to be a lot of it. Wish a lot more people would just have less hate in them.

What’s something you love about the world?

It’s beauty!! Even outside of things that make me frustrated or terrified, the world always shows us reasons to love and reasons to live and I gotta remember that!

What scents do you like?

I love spicy “musky” smells lol I wear a unisex perfume cuz I love warmer smelling stuff like vanilla etc..

What kind of sleeper are you?

Not a good one ahahsjssk

Are you a cat or dog person?

Typically, I’m a dog person but I love cats just the same!

How long would you survive in a zombie apocalypse?

Literally like a couple hours I’d see a singular zombie and immediately fart and die from fear 😔✊🏻

Are you trusting?

I think so? But I have a really strong intuition when it comes to people so i give trust where it’s due

What fictional character do you identify with?

Idk this is a hard one I’m never good at picking one for myself lol

What labels do you commonly get?

I get sensitive a lot.. especially when I was little and I used to hate it cuz I used to see the negative in it but I think us sensitive people have got to start using it as a strength! (And maybe people should be less mean also ahshag)

What song would be your life anthem?

This is another hard one but I guess just my fave song: Jimi Hendrix’ Voodoo Chile?

What issues are you dealing with rn?

Erm school and being anxious I guess...schools been stressing me out and it’s hard going to class when you’re just terrified of everything but I’m working on it so 💩

How can someone win you over?

Literally just be nice I am not hard to win over Loool

What’s something about you people don’t know?

I don’t really talk about it a ton but I’m adhd and was diagnosed super late in life so I spent most of my childhood and teens thinking that I was just a spaz who had a lot to think about but my brain was straight up goofing the whole time lmao I’m slowly starting to learn to cope with it but it’s been a tough journey especially being in uni and trying to do adult things. So I’m sending a hug to anyone else who also suffers because it is not an easy ride <3

I’d like to tag (and ik this is a long one so feel free to ingnore me if u don’t want to) @cantbehandled-ever @satans-helper @seven-seas-of-hi @karrotkate @v-i-d-e-n-o-i-r @lazingonsunday @thatflowerpower @eatmyshiftsticky @shes-outta-sight @pvre-mourning @aint-no-denying @dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade ⭐️✨⭐️✨⭐️✨

#tag game #about me #ty<3

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charismastaticarchive · 5 years ago

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manuela hc:

the grande dame : an exploration of lgbt/camp tropes and anime jokes leading to a complex and likable portrayal of a modern day stock tropes.’

the grande dame is a stock trope of Older Women who represent the stuffy, uppity matronly upper class to comedic effect.

from the tvtropes page : ‘they are usually a spinster or widow’ (such as manuela is Forever Unlucky In Love) and if they are married they will be a patron of the arts that drags her husband to operas, even more cultured than the ‘prima donna’ (which manuela was implied to be in the past, but has grown past to become a highly educated professor healer and warrior in addition to her talents in theatre). when the grande dame does have a sympathetic streak, they tend to be an oddball themself (like manuela). she can be a ‘moral guardian’ (and manuela’s skills are in faith magic and she does believe in the goddess), but failing their duty towards ‘respectability’ they turn to drink. (which sounds exactly like manuela).

we could just say that manuela was thus a complicated prima donna that gave up the theatre and turned to drink after aging out of her youthful beauty, into a grande dame figure. certainly, if you look at examples of the grande dame in classical literature, it seems to be a very open-and-shut stock caricature played completely for comedic effect, as does manuela’s whininess and flirtatious milf/cougarness and ‘well i never!’ esque tone. (and she certainly does seem to turn to drink for that very reason.)

but why would u ever compare an OPERA SINGER to classic literature when u could instead compare her to the stage and screen? she’s an actress with a theatrical personality. and that’s where the lgbt readding comes in, as well as why so many lgbt people are attached to manuela, and characters like manuela, in my opinion.

the grande dame has a storied history with the lgbt community. first and foremost, in western society, there was a long history where only men could be actors (this was true in many other places of course, but we’re focusing on the west as manuela’s characterization is mostly focused on western tropes).

matronly older women characters played for comedic effect (such as the nurse in romeo&juliet, among other such classic roles), were thus played by men in drag. but the tradition of drag for matronly older women in theatre continued long after, to the point where the ‘pantomine dame’ is a storied character/trope in british pantomine---noted for its camp and ‘over the top’ performances, and the tradition continued across the sea in vaudeville drag performances---where lgbt people could graduate from grande dame roles to primma donnas in starring roles as women themselves, regardless of their assigned gender.

after the decline of the vaudeville era BECAUSE of its connection to the lgbt community (and sex work) during the prohibition/”progressive” era, the grande dame (and the inherent camp/gay sensibility of an older woman) did not just STOP EXISTING in the consciousness of western people, and especially not western lgbt people.

no, instead, the grande dame evolved into a still classically camp (over the top, out of place) but a character ever-more entangled in other classic tropes for tough/fierce/unhinged/dramatic women, that we still can see traces of today in every genre that lgbt people are attracted to.

from horror (whatever happened to baby jane and the 'hagsploitation’ that followed it) to musicals (mama rose in ‘rose’s turn’ is literally my tag for manuela but also cats the musical’s ‘memories’ could basically be the benevolent/sad grande dame mood), to fairy tales and children’s stories (Mother Gothel from tangled tho u could make a case for every disney woman villain and also scar as being one tbh, but also mia’s mother in a princess diaries is definitely one, and so is professor macgonagall), to spy dramas (judi dench), to biopics (from joan crawford to every queen pretty much ever) alllll the way back around to drag again (if you’ve ever watched drag race? half the winning snatch games are dames lol). to basically everything ryan murphy has ever done in his whole damn life, especially with Mother Jessica Lange.

the grande dame’s mean strictness and spite has come to represent a trapping for her secret vulnerability/softness (which is the source of her beauty), something lgbt people in particular can relate to as they have to hide their self/love from a world. the camp grande dame is almost always obsessed with beauty and age (so much of our community can’t picture getting old---or doesn’t want to, with many people being deathly afraid of hair loss due to hormones, etc. and then when it comes to attractiveness, attractiveness is often our measure of worth especially in the trans and gay sector, where ‘passing’ or ‘masculinity’ is viewed as a shorthand for ‘respectability’---and so many of us judge each other so harshly based on looks.) but more than anything, the grande dame is always LONELY, or alone, whether it be from being the best/most powerful/rich (and it’s lonely at the top), or in imposed exile due to her age/lack of beauty, the terrible things she’s done, the grande dame is almost always a metaphor for lgbt loneliness.

manuela’s characterization very much abides by these classic camp/gay sensibilities (as well as the classic ones). the modern day gay reading of the grande dame is a much more textured and layered one---but often, grande dames such as they done by judi dench in the 007 movies, or even ryan murphy using jessica lange in the politician---are still objectified by the male gaze with either sexual jokes, or as being made ‘more’ OR ‘less’ than human.... because the grande dame is such a stock trope (even when more complicated by Us Gays), the grande dame is either hypercompetent (in the case of litcherally all of judi dench’s characters or julie andrews’ characters, a Badass Older Woman who is not allowed to be anything more Than Tough And Perfect even when she is in a frenzied huff) or, on the other side of the coin, a complete and total joke or a sob story or picture of an abuser (or all three at once), such as in the case of All Jessica Lange’s Ryan Murphy Characters. Please God Let This Woman Be Free Of Ryan Murphy’s Clutches.

manuela, to me, represents an interesting figure in the Grand Canon of Grande Dames.

because while she is in every way an anime character---she represents a trope in anime we don’t see often. there are not a lot of older women characters in anime, and when they are---they are usually mid-20s maximum, or they are Sexually Dominant Women, extremely strong and competent women that Can And Will Beat Your Ass ( such as in the case of tsunade from naruto OR lotus from 999, etc). manuela is, thankfully, neither of these.

while fe3h presents manuela as a joke---like classic grande dames were presented as jokes, the way that manuela is presented, is as an ANIME character with ANIME jokes to people who are ALL familiar at this point with anime jokes, and we are able to relate to her more on a human level than we would relate to the fussy, bitter, overly loquacious grande dames of literature.

the average anime gamer can’t relate to a jane austen biddy talking to you about how the man you are dating is not of marriagable status, and does not think that is funny. but the average anime gamer WILL see you give manuela a porn magazine she thinks is ‘very valuable’ and chuckle a bit to themselves.

but more than that---the game really wants you to LIKE manuela. it makes her relatable to the average gamer who hasn’t cleaned their room in weeks---that sometimes will eat food off the floor, that likes to sing a little too loudly and who feels lonely sometimes (or always).

and even more than any of that, instead of presenting manuela as an UGLY or evil old woman, or an abuser, or an extremely rich woman, and in presenting manuela instead as so very likable and funny, it presents manuela as someone who looks and acts desirable as a friend (and a lover). manuela is a grande dame who is not only sympathetic---she’s human AND FLAWED, just like you, even when her behavior is all jokes and huffiness.

you WANT to be manuela’s friend. you WANT to look deeper into manuela as a person and not a trope---even though she is OBJECTIVELY made up of anime jokes and stock character tropes!

and so this game ends up painting a picture of a lonely woman, a woman who considers herself weak, a woman who is messy, and funny, and loud, who fights (and sometimes is bested by those who are stronger than her)--who pushes other women out of the way to get ahead, but still loves children, who still wants (and deserves) to be loved. even tho most of this information, as manuela relays it to you, is viewed as comedic.

and as manuela is not painted as the grande dame who is a villain---as she is painted so beautifully and theatrically in opera tropes---you can really and truly see her as the star of her own show, a lovely woman trying to live her life the best she can in an adult world that is hard and cruel. just like you are, regardless of ur gender, age, or sexuality.

and from that point of understanding manuela as the grande dame, u can extrapolate manuela in ur own tropes that view her as more human and Deep---and in my opinion, most powerfully, that she is a bisexual woman and hopeless romantic that is most interested in ‘princely’/strong women types. but that’s a hc post for another day.

manuela is THE SUPREME ANIME GRANDE DAME and that anime recontextualization makes her a much better representation of older women than western canon grande dames, the end, send tweet.

#{ ooc: hc }#theres a seperate post here about how some drag that stemmed from vaudeville also stemmed from minstrelsy #stares at r/p/d/r. but we're not gonna TALK about that queens. this is a classic literature ONLY post lmfao #its so funny how so many grande dames are just like real ass people. gays will see a rich woman and go 'I STAN'#{ ch: starting now it's gonna be my turn ; taking bows for me | manuela }#{ hc: starting now it's gonna be my turn ; taking bows for me | manuela }

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the-lupine-sojourner · 5 years ago

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Sarada, Princess of the Saiyans ‘Season’ 1, Episode 4

Hey hey hey! Surprise! Another chapter! :)

No one cares, but anyway I love writing this so here we are.

Anyway, I hope you guys like it!

I did make that Masterlist I mentioned past chapter. I’ll be updating the masterlist as I go along, adding the link to every chapter, making a new masterlist for each ‘season’.

Okay enough talking! Let’s get to the chapter!

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

I couldn't wait to put this one out lol. Had it all ready to go so I figured why wait? Anyway, hope you all like this chapter! I'd love to hear what y'all think of Sarada and this story so far! :)

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

Much as I hate killing innocent people, I can’t help but almost anticipate this fight. The Saiyan craving for battle was always there, in some way, even if I were merely spectating.

However, that changed when Gohan started trembling, scared out of his mind.

It reminded me just what was happening here; we were about to watch a child get murdered. I know he has a pretty high power level for his age, but that doesn’t change the fact that he couldn’t have been much older than 5. He should still be sparring, not fighting a losing battle for his planet!

But then again, he is the son of a Saiyan, so perhaps he would find some hidden strength like his father and overcome the challenge of the Saibamen. Perhaps.

The bald one glances over. “Gohan, pay attention!” He chides, still in a fighting stance. “Your thoughts are unfocused.” Gohan nods, swallowing. He gets into a tighter stance, eyes narrowing in bravado.

“O-okay!” He says, clearly putting on a brave face.

“You don’t have to be scared.” Piccolo adds, never taking his eyes off us or loosening his stance. Now that I take another look, and have seen them interact more, I notice how similar Piccolo and Gohan’s clothes were and how familiar they seemed with each other.

Had they trained together? Were Gohan and Piccolo student and teacher?

“Right!” Gohan replies, sounding a bit more confident.

That confidence was instantly lost as the Saibamen leapt forward to attack, Gohan returning to a scarred little boy on the battlefield. Despite the fact that he’s our enemy right now, I almost want to protect him.

Luckily, the battle is fought around Gohan, resulting in him looking confused and terrified, but unharmed as his allies take on our henchmen.

That ends, however, when there’s a lull in the fight and one of the Saibamen notices Gohan, attacking instantly. Despite his power level, Gohan can’t seem to block or dodge, taking the hit and going flying. I narrow my eyes.

“For pity’s sake!” I growl, voice low, trying to sound like Vegeta would, arms crossed to prevent myself lashing out at the Saibamen for such a cowardly attack, and to appear irritated at Gohan’s lack of battle prowess. “Doesn’t that boy have any training?” I notice that the Namekian appeared to have heard me, head twitching very subtly in my direction, but the next instant he’s standing protectively in front of Gohan.

Good. At least Gohan has some backup. I think in relief. Maybe he’d survive after all.

The Saibamen stop short, unsure of taking the pair of them on at once.

“Gohan, believe in yourself!” Piccolo snaps. Gohan stares at the Saibamen, still scarred.

“I’ll...try.” He replies.

“Don’t try; do it!” Piccolo growls in response as Gohan gets to his feet, trying that brave face again.

“Right!”

“Awww.” Nappa coos condescendingly. “Isn’t that cute?” Gohan seems a little unsettled by the remark, and I have to play the part of a tough Saiyan, despite actually finding the exchange sweet.

“The teacher and the student, fighting side by side. Warms my heart.” I add, hand dramatically spread over my heart, snide smirk on my face.

I really hate having to wear this mask, but if I take it off, I’m doomed.

“Mine, too.” Vegeta agrees sarcastically, snickering.

“Don’t listen to those jerks, Gohan.” The bald earthling advises. “They’ll get what’s coming to ‘em soon enough!”

Before anyone can say or do anything else, there’s a high pitched voice coming from up above us. “Krillan!” I frown. Who- -what the hell?

Descending from the sky is arguably the oddest couple of fighters I’ve seen in my life.

One was a very muscular earthling (at least, I think he’s an earthling) with three eyes and no shirt. His toned chest was bare, showing off some impressive looking scars and his history with fighting. His pants were of a similar style to Gohan and Piccolo’s, covering half his abdomen, the dark green pants and gold belt highlighting his tanned skin. The oddest part about him was his third eye, centered in his forehead.

The other one...was a mime. His face was white, looking almost painted, with little red circles on his cheeks and wide, childlike eyes. He had a grey tank top on and pants similar to the burly man’s, so I can assume they trained together, like Piccolo and Gohan.

The bald earthling (was he ‘Krillan’?) turns, smiling, to greet the newcomers. “Hey, guys!” He calls. I raise a brow. Was he seriously dropping his guard just because his friends showed up?

“Hi, Krillan!” The mime replies. So that confirms the name theory.

“Thanks for stopping by!” Krillan says as if this were no more than a simple errand run or something. The mime nods. “We could use the help.” I sigh. If they get past the Saibaman, they’d have us to deal with, so it’s pointless even correcting Krillan. I think it’d be better to let our actions speak for us. The big guy narrows his eyes at the Saibamen.

“Looks like the Saiyans brought some of their friends along for the ride.” He muses. Krillan cracks a smile as he glances over at us.

“No...they grew them here.” The two newcomers blink.

“What?” The mime asks.

“Don’t ask.” Krillan replies with a chuckle. The big guy frowns.

“That’s okay; it doesn’t really matter.” Now I’ve heard his voice, I can at least know that this isn’t Kakarot. The big guy then looks at Gohan.

“Who’s the kid? It that Goku’s little boy?” He asks. Krillan nods as Gohan looks at the newcomer.

“Uh-huh. His names’s Gohan. Piccolo’s been training him.” I smirk. That confirms my suspicions about the outfits and their meaning. Burly Guy (that’s what I’ll call him til I learn his name) nods, eyes narrowing in seriousness.

“He’s bold like his father.” Burly Guy notes. The mime smiles and looks ready to say something when Nappa finally gets irritated.

“Enough of this garbage!” He snaps. “Saibamen! I wanna hear them beg for mercy.” I swallow. Here we go. Time to watch this group get killed. The group gets into a fighting stance as the Saibamen prepare to charge. I set my jaw and prepare myself, but then there’s a voice from above that interrupts yet again.

“Wait for me!” It calls, sounding male. Sure enough, a man in an orange training outfit with a blue belt to match Krillan lands near the other earthlings, standing and turning, smiling cockily at his friends. “What’s up?” He asks. “Sorry I’m late.” I sigh.

“He-hey, Yamcha!” Krillan cheers. The newest intruder into our battle, this Yamcha character, smiles in sheer arrogance. I sigh. He doesn’t look all that impressive, similar to the others to be any real threat. He was just cocky, that’s all. His hair is long and unkempt, reminding me of Radditz. I decide I don’t really like Yamcha.

“So, why’s everyone acting so serious around here?” He asks.

“If you’d arrived earlier, you’d know, earthling.” I growl, more to myself than this Yamcha, arms crossing again in genuine annoyance. I hated prolonging a fight like this. Yamcha seems to sober up a little.

“Regardless, Sarada, it’s six against six; their warriors against our Saibamen. It's perfect.” Vegeta adds. I nod.

“Even numbers should be more fun to watch.” I agree. And I genuinely wanted to see how this played out.

“Agreed. This may just prove to be interesting after all.” Vegeta continues.

Nappa chuckles. “I can’t wait.” Vegeta cocks his head to the side as though he has an idea.

“Gentlemen, how would you like to make a match of this and fight our soldiers one by one?” I almost want to hug Vegeta. This way, there’s a chance that, just maybe, a few could survive and I should be able to convince Nappa and my brother to let them live, provided they tell us where the Dragonballs are and how to use them. No one replies immediately, so I spread my arms.

“It’s really in your best interest.” I shrug as if unbothered by the thought of either outcome. “It’s the best offer you’ll get out of us. It should prove an entertaining game, at least.” I add. Please...please take the challenge. Please!

“Well?” Vegeta demands. “You heard my sister. What’s your answer?”

Piccolo growls, setting his jaw as if offended by the offer. “We aren’t here to play games! And we’re not going to fight on your terms!” He snaps. I frown. Crap! “We’ll take you all on at once!” I click my tongue as if to chide him like a child.

“That’s not wise, if you want to survive. Of course, either way, you won’t last long, but you might want to consider Gohan.” Piccolo and Gohan flinch. I knew it was a low blow, the enemy bringing up a point like that, but if I were to convince them to take the offer, this might be the way to do it.

“How dare you bring him into this?!” Picollo roars. I stand my ground, not looking sorry (because I wasn’t) and glaring right back at him.

“He-hey, now. Easy.” Krillan pipes up. “Crazy and cruel as they are, the woman has a point. Besides, we are still waiting for Goku to show up.” Krillan adds. “We could buy ourselves some time if we play it their way.” Piccolo glares at me, and I know I definitely crossed a line. I do feel bad, but if it all works out, I think he’ll forgive me. Gohan moves a little more behind Piccolo and my heart pangs in sympathy. It was scary for me, at first, but I quickly learned I had to be strong. Gohan had to learn that lesson eventually.

Burly Guy steps forward, making up his mind with a confident smirk. “I’ll go first.” He announces. “I’m not afraid of these creeps.” He pounds his fists together in a show of bravery. “It’ll be a good warm up.” Nappa laughs.

“That’s the spirit!” He replies happily. I exhaled in relief. At least they were going one on one. I didn’t care that they were stalling. In fact, I was starting to hope Goku (who I believe is Kakarot) does show up. It’ll be interesting to meet Radditz’s long-lost brother. If he’s as strong as Radditz, he’ll be a good challenge for the Saibamen, if they’re still around by then.

Something tells me they might not be. These Earthlings seem to be pretty confident, but…

“We’ll see how long you last.” I muse, finally about to see some action. Part of me knows it most likely won’t end well, but the Saiyan side of me is excited to finally see what these Earthlings can do.

“Exactly, Sarada!” Nappa cheers. “Fresh meat for the grinder!” I roll my eyes as Burly Man prepares himself. “But just wait! You won’t be so cocky when you see what these ‘little creeps’ can do!” Nappa warns. Burly Guy seems unbothered. The Saibamen cackle in response.

“Alright.” Burly Guy notes, watching the Saibamen laugh. “I hear a lot of noise, but no volunteers.” He taunts. Vegeta then turns to a random Saibaman.

“Alright, you go, but don’t hold anything back, got it?” He instructs sternly. The Saibaman grins in anticipation, nodding and walking closer to his opponent. The mime, appearing very worried for his friend, calls out.

“Tien, be careful!” So that’s Burly Guy’s name. Tien. Somehow, it seems fitting for a no-nonsense, straightforward man as this Earthling appears to be. Just then, as if the universe itself didn’t want any fighting to happen anytime soon, those strange flying machines from earlier appear on the horizon, quickly coming closer. I grit my teeth.

“What an annoying machine!” I growl.

“Of course the news shows up.” Krillan grumbles, as if he too were irritated by the flying machines’ presence and interruption. I then realize what the machines were. It appears, based on what Krillan said, that these machines provided the planet with recordings of major events or anything interesting that was happening. We simply spread news by word of mouth, if I remember right, before we depended on the Scouters to gets new information out. Nappa laughs.

“So, you want some news, do yah?” He notes to himself, and I hear the very faint buzzing of an energy attack being charged. Before I can tell him not to waste energy destroying the news machines, he fires. “Now you are the news!” He calls, as the ball of ki hits one of the center machines. It explodes, causing the few closest to it to explode in a chain reaction. Gohan and Krillan seem shaken as the debris rains down and the few remaining machines retreat. “Good! No more distractions!” Nappa exclaims, “Now what do you say we get this fight started?” The Saibaman nods, and Tien seems ready, as well. The Saibaman and Tien size each other up for a few moments, then the Saibaman grits his teeth and runs forward, slashing at Tien, who seems to use some type of unknown energy move to shove the Saibaman back with two fingers, sprinting after his target with a shout. The Saibaman lands on its feet, leaping out the next instant to open its head and spewing forth the acidic substance it holds in its empty skull. The splash of the liquid reaches to the other Earthlings, who dodge, Piccolo grabbing Gohan to ensure the kid was out of the way. Good. I’d hate to see him get melted cus he couldn’t react fast enough. Although, with his power level, it shouldn’t have been a second thought.

Gohan was proving an interesting study. He seems completely defenseless in battle, but Krillan confirmed that Gohan had trained with Piccolo.

So my guess is this is his first-ever combat experience. The unlucky kid happened to be up against Saibamen and Saiyans. His only hope is potentially in his father’s appearance. And that was an unknown.

“Wow. Thanks.” Gohan mumbles, gazing in terror at the canyon carved by the acid. Tien lands at the Saibaman’s back, leaping toward it with another shout. The Saibaman whirls, and leaps up, but Tien’s leap carries him with the Saibaman, and Tien lands a solid blow to his opponent’s abdomen. The Saibaman is winded, falling to the ground with a pained expression on its face.

“What?! Impossible!” Nappa exclaims.”

“Calm down.” I retort. “We noticed the original three had been training. The newcomers seem to have prepared for our arrival as well. Besides, the Saibaman hasn’t lost yet.” Even as I say that, however, the Saibaman crumples to the ground, twitching and unable to get up. “...never mind.” I growl, embarrassed at being proven wrong so quickly. Krillan and the mime cheer their friend’s victory as Tien lands.

“Go, Tien! Great move!” Krillan congratulates.

“Alright!” Gohan adds, smiling happily. I notice the Saibaman seeming to recover a little, but hold back that information.

“You’re the best, Tien!” The mime chimes in.

“Thanks.” Tien replies, sounding just barely winded from his fight. Perhaps he was right; maybe his power level was such that the Saibaman was a good warm up. Vegeta gets his ‘I’m disappointed and annoyed’ face, glaring at the Saibaman who was still on the ground.

“Looks like you got hold of a weak batch, Nappa.” He growls. I step forward, knowing what was about to happen.

“Hold on. I just said the Earthlings more than likely trained to prepare for our arrival. It’s possible he just got a lucky shot in.”

“Yeah!” Nappa agrees shakily, stunned the Saibaman was defeated and also aware of the cost of its defeat. “These Saiabaman are all good! These’re the same ones that survived that crazy battle on Traddick.” I flinch. I have scars from that insane battle. We’d been ambushed, barely getting the Saibaman out in time to get their help. If we hadn’t, it could’ve spelled disaster for us. I could have lost Vegeta… “He should’ve won!” Nappa continues, cutting off that train of thought, thankfully. It wasn’t a pleasant trip. “His power level’s 1200!” The Saibaman in question was on its hands and knees, still utterly winded after Tien’s punch. “All of these Saibaman have the same fighting power as…” He realizes who he’s talking about and why it wasn’t a good defense and stops short of naming him.

“As who?” Vegeta presses, smirking. He knew who Nappa was about to name.

“As...Radditz.” Nappa continues, swallowing. Vegeta’s smirk increases.

“Now do you see my point?” Vegeta asks.

“Well…”

“Don’t stress yourself.” I interject, smirking. Sometimes, Nappa was a little slow. It was kinda fun to tease him.

“Yes. Leave the thinking to me and Sarada from now on.” Vegeta adds. I sigh. Now that we addressed the issue of the Saibaman’s power level, it was time to deal with the Saibaman’s failure.

Tien walks toward his companions and the Saibaman begins to get back on this feet. “Tien, that one’s getting back up!” The mime warns, fear in his eyes. Tien turns to look as Vegeta raises two fingers.

It was over in an instant. One second, the Saibaman was there, the next Vegeta extends energy-riddled fingers and the Saibaman explodes.

Everyone but me is stunned. The earthlings look on in terror at the remains of the poor Saibaman. I sigh softly, but don’t let myself react too much.

Nappa, however, does not. “Vegeta, why?!” He exclaims.

“He wasn’t of any use to us anymore.” Vegeta replies apathetically.

“I know, but...he was...alive!” Nappa insists. As part of the act, I scoff.

“Don’t tell me you’ve gotten soft, Nappa.” He flinches a little, knowing what being soft would mean. I agreed with Nappa, but had to play the part of the tough Saiyan Princess.

“N-no, Sarada. Of course not. I just...I don’t understand.” Nappa presses.

“It would have been pointless to let him continue, Nappa.” Vegeta cuts in, “He was losing, which leads me to believe he wasn’t trying his hardest.” He glares at the other quacking Saibaman who now understood the stakes. Death to the Earthlings or death to Vegeta. “I specifically told him not to hold anything back.”

“Whoa. Talk about ruthless.” Krillan mumbles, eyes still wide in surprise. I then notice Piccolo observing with a grim expression. He knew the stakes if they lose.

What he didn’t know was that I would try to spare him and perhaps Gohan, as well, if things play out right. And then try to get Piccolo to tell us everything he knows about the Dragonballs.

Now to see if I can pull this off. “So, who’s going next?” Vegeta asks. The Saibamen now seem a little reluctant to join in, having witnessed Vegeta’s execution. Nappa grits his teeth, knowing what might happen if none of them volunteer; Vegeta could decide to exterminate all of them.

“Alright, if no one steps up, we’ll have a free-for-all!” Nappa growls. Piccolo narrows his eyes.

“That’s fine by me. Let’s do it!” Krillan, surprisingly, steps forward, suddenly looking brave.

“No. I’ll go next.” He announces. Yamcha, too, steps forward, shocking everyone.

“Hold on, Krillan.”

“What’s up?” Krillan asks, a little unnecessarily. It should have been obvious.

“Let me go, would yah? I’m really anxious to show these guys what we’re really all about down here on this planet.” I grin. He was a brave one, no doubt. I almost want to know just how long he’d last against the Saibamen.

Krillan frowns. “That’s great, but I’ve got this one, okay?” Yamcha shakes his head.

“You already been wished back with the Dragonballs once.” I raise a brow. There was a limit to the times you bring someone back from the dead? How interesting. “I haven’t.” Yamcha continues, “So if anything happens, at least we know that I can be revived.” I found that a solid plan. Too bad they’d likely all die here. To Saibamen, or us Saiyans. “Sit this one out, Krillan. You’ll get your chance, don’t you worry about that.” Krillan sees his friend’s bravery and acquiesces.

“Okay...he’s all yours.” Krillan replies. Nappa laughs.

“How touching. I’m all warm and tingly. Heh.” He turns to a random Saibaman. “Now go kill him!” The 180-degree turn in what Nappa said makes me laugh. Coincidentally, it made it seem like I was mocking Yamcha, so it worked out.

Yamcha readied himself. “Alright then! C’mon! Let’s get this over with.” Vegeta chuckles.

“This one seems eager.” He notes. I nod. However, something told me this wouldn’t end well for the Earthling.

“Yeah, right. Eager to die, that is.” Nappa replies as the Saibaman approaches its opponent. Yamcha runs into action, the pair evenly matched as the fight reaches a new speed, almost invisible to the untrained eye.

It appears that Gohan doesn’t have trained eyes, looking around like he can’t see what’s happening.

“They vanished!” Gohan exclaims in shock. I smirk. The poor boy.

I could have seen what was happening before I could throw a punch. Father made sure to let Vegeta and I watch fights to get used to seeing intense, fast-paced action. It was almost shameful Gohan hadn’t been taught how to follow fights like this by now.

“Nonsense!” Piccolo retorts, as if a little embarrassed by his student’s lack of progress. “They’re just moving very fast! Try to feel out their energies!” He snaps. It was sweet he was turning this into a solid teaching moment, but it also revealed a weakness in Gohan. Although, it seemed that hole in the boy’s training was about to be filled.

Gohan frowns. “Feel their energies?” I also frown. Was that actually possible? Piccolo nods.

“All of us are watching them right now except you, Gohan.” Piccolo explains, and sure enough, Krillan, the mime, the Tien were all watching alongside Vegeta, Nappa, and I.

“What?! You can see them?!” Gohan asks incredulously. He then narrows his eyes in concentration. “...M’kay…” He mumbles, trying to watch the fight, too. It was frankly kind of adorable, the warm feeling almost entirely foreign to me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t outwardly express it.

“Don’t focus on a specific point.” Piccolo instructs. “Let your eyes take in your entire surroundings.” I wonder if he’s teaching Gohan to sense energies and try it out for myself, letting my eyes take in everything they could. “Remember, you’re not trying to see their bodies, but the light the energies of their bodies gives off.” Piccolo continues, and I’d almost swear he was speaking directly to me. It felt...weird, so I stop and watch the fight as I had done before, heart feeling oddly unsettled. Luckily, neither of my companions had noticed, and it doesn’t seem anyone else had, either, so I pretend I’d never stopped watching normally.

“Stupid Namekian.” I grumble, so softly I almost couldn’t hear myself. He’d unsettled me, and I couldn’t afford to let it happen again.

“I can hear them, Piccolo!” Gohan says after a few moments. I continue watching the fight. It was going rather slowly, all things considered. They were pretty evenly matched, turns out, so the fight was dragging on.

“Good. Now stay relaxed. Continue to look. Don’t blink your eyes.” Piccolo tells Gohan. Despite myself, I stow those instructions away to try again when the Namekian wasn’t there to unsettle me. The ability to sense energies was most unusual and I wanted to try to learn how it.

Gohan continues to follow his teacher’s instructions, moments later gasping in shock. Piccolo seems happy. “Now you see.” He notes. I smile a little, feeling happy Gohan was finally catching up. Eventually, the Saibaman leapt up, so did Yamcha, but Yamcha seemed to have a plan, zipping around the Saibaman so he was above it, then he unleashed a kind of energy attack with a shout, slamming the Saibaman into the ground with enough force to make a crater. To be honest, I was surprised. I was so certain he wouldn’t last against the Saibaman. Huh. The earthlings were all cheering as Yamcha descended.

“Alright!” Krillan exclaims.

“Wow! Great!” Gohan adds. Suddenly, I noticed the Saibaman twitching as if to get up. It’s then I remember the Saibaman can self-destruct. Uh-oh.

“That’s two!” Nappa cries, absolutely stunned. Yamcha lands, looking at his handiwork for a moment then he turns to us.

“Wow. That was easy. Guess we’re in a different league altogether than your little green goon squad.” I narrow my eyes. I definitely didn’t like Yamcha.

“You cocky- -” Nappa begins, fist clenched.

“Nappa!” Vegeta interjects. “Relax.” He orders.

“Now then, what d’you say I take on the other four by myself?” As Yamcha spoke, the Saibaman was starting to actually move to stand. I knew then it was over for the cocky Earthling. The Saibaman would use self-destruct and Yamcha would be dead.

“Yamcha, are you nuts?!” Krillan exclaims. I grin.

“By all means, if you think you can, earthling.” I laugh. It was easy to mock someone I don’t like.

“Indeed, Sarada.” Vegeta agrees, laughing as well. “That, I’d like to see.” His grin turns sinister. “Too bad I won’t get the chance.”

“Oh, yeah? Bring ‘em on!” Yamcha shoots back. I force myself to watch as the Saibaman leaps up, almost too quick for anyone to see, latching on to Yamcha tightly.

Vegeta smirks, pleased the Saibaman was giving everything he could. Piccolo notices Vegeta’s smirk and his eyes go wide.

“It’s over.” He mumbles.

“Oh no!” Gohan cries. Piccolo was right; it was over. Yamcha could struggle all he wanted, but nothing could spare him. Seconds later, the Saibaman detonated. The Earthlings were stunned, Vegeta was still smirking.

“Well. I guess it’s a draw.” He muses, as if discussing a turn in the weather.

“Too bad.” I reply, sounding mocking but being surprisingly sad about the death. It was a horrible way to go; basically ambushed with no way to defend yourself. “I would have liked to see him try all the Saibamen.”

“Kamikaze; no way to defend.” Piccolo says, staring at the crater holding the body of his ally, laying limp and lifeless. Gohan seems pale, eyes wide in terror.

Was this his first glimpse of death?

“Is he..?” Krillan sprints over in the vain attempt to see if his friend was somehow alive. Krillan put his ear on Yamcha’s back to try and hear a heartbeat.

As reality sinks in, Krillan trembles. “No...he’s dead…” Krillan almost seems mad. I suppose I’d be mad, too, far beyond mad, if anyone killed Vegeta. I honestly don’t want to know what would happen if anyone killed Vegeta.

Shaking myself, I watch as Krillan’s fists clench and he slowly stands. Vegeta laughs beside me, but I can’t bring myself to even try to force a laugh.

“N-now, why’d yah go and have to be the hero, you big stupid jerk?” Krillan asks with a shaky voice. “It was my turn to fight! It should have been me in there!” The pang of survivor’s guilt was almost a physical blow to my chest. It was such a raw, emotional confession, and done in front of his enemies, that I couldn’t help the prickle of tears. I blink them back before anyone can see, unknowing of Namekian eyes briefly registering shock in my direction before returning to his grieving companion.

I’m reminded, watching Krillan on the verge of a breakdown, that they have matching outfits.

Likely, that means they fought together, training together and forming a friendship.

A friendship cut off too soon. The weight sinks onto my shoulders and I remain quiet. Krillan’s grief morphs into almost anger then. “You hear that, Yamcha?! You can’t die! It should’ve been me! It should’ve been me!” I sigh.

“Oh, shut up!” Nappa roars suddenly, tired of Krillan’s display. “It doesn’t make any difference how goes down first!” He growls. “Don’t you get it?! You’re all gonna die in the end!”

“Calm down, Nappa.” Vegeta orders. “Give them a moment to clear this trash off the battlefield.” I roll my eyes. Vegeta was always insensitive. That’s why I don’t talk to him about anything emotional or vulnerable.

He would think I’m weak, and I can’t afford to be seen as weak. So I remain quiet when I want to speak up. Krillan stands up, clearly enraged by Vegeta’s callous statement.

“How dare you!” Krillan growls. He turns to his allies. “You guys stay outta this!” He snaps. “This is between me and them now!” He looks at his dead friend. “Okay...this one’s for you, buddy. I won’t let you down again.”

“You’re right. You won’t live long enough to let anyone down again.” I taunt. If he was angered, he might be able to unleash a better attack and maybe he could win. Who knows?

“Shut up!” Krillan barks. “Now c’mon! I’m ready!” I cross my arms. If he wanted to throw his life away trying to deal with four Saibamen all at once, by all means, I wouldn’t stop him. He was far too blinded by grief and rage to listen to reason anyway. “I’ll take on all four of those goons at once!” Krillan challenges. I must admit, he had a lot of guts when he was this angered. “Just like Yamcha was gonna do.”

“Careful.” I call before I can stop myself. “Yamcha was cocky, and look where that got him.” I make it sound like a taunt, but I meant the warning. He didn’t have to needlessly die, especially not like this.

However, Krillan’s hands go up, energy glowing off his skin as he powers up for his fight. “You need to shut up! Send out the goon squad already!” Krillan roars at me. I blink. He really wanted to take them all on…

The poor fool would never make it out alive. He was doomed.

#fanfiction #Dragonball Z #DBZ #OC Insertion Series #OC #Original Character #Original Female Character #OC/Canon #Sarada (My OC)#Piccolo #Vegeta #Goku #Bulma #Piccolo/Sarada #piccolo/oc #Vegebul #Gochi #Vegeta/Bulma #Goku/Chichi

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imaginedanganronpa · 6 years ago

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Mondo,Ouma and Sayaka with an S/O who cries all the time and have -3662 self esteem, and like she is in a art school but she thinks her art is bad and she can't do anything, so she is stressed out about school, she feels as if she's growing distant with her friends,she feels worthless,she thinks she wants to die all the time, etc basically her life is going shit lol

Hey, I hope you’re okay! If you’re going through something right now then please hold on. You are loved, Anon, I promise. But I hope you like it!

Mondo Oowada, Ouma Kokichi, and Sayaka Maizono with An Artistic S/O Who Is Going Through a Rough Patch!

Mondo Oowada

Mondo acts like he’s a tough guy, rough around the edges,but in reality he’s a big softie – especially when it comes to his significantother.

He always blames himself when you’re going through a rough patch because henever thinks he does enough for you. He does his best though and is incrediblyloving and understanding.

Mondo will be your shoulder to cry on and love you unconditionally. In hiseyes, you are perfect, but you just don’t see it that way. You feel worthless,untalented, and you’ve been stressed out over school lately.

Art was your escape from reality and Mondo supported you with your talent; healways made jokes about being your model if you ever needed to draw a nudeportrait.

But lately, you haven’t been as happy with your art. On top of that, you’vebeen growing distant from your friends and loved ones, which includes Mondo.

He took it as just needing space at first but he quickly realized that it wasmuch deeper than that.

Despite his edgy, tough-as-stone exterior, he really cared for you. Mondo feelshurt when the people he cares about push him away but he mustered up the courageto final confront you about what’s been going on lately.

He knocks on the door – you had locked yourself in your bedroom all day. Hecould hear muffled sobs coming from inside. “(Y/N)… open up, please. It’s me.”

You refuse, not wanting him to see you like this. But if there’s one outstandingcharacteristic about Mondo, it’s that he is extremely persistent. When he wantssomething, he will stop at nothing to achieve it.

“Open up or I’ll knock the door down, (Y/N). I’m coming in no matter what.” Itmay sound like a threat but it comes from a good place; he is growingincreasingly concerned and resorted to desperate measures to get you to listento him.

As he’s rearing to ram the door, positioning his shoulder into place, youdrag yourself out of the bed and unlock it quietly. You can’t stand to look athim and instead stare at the floor.

He can tell immediately that your demeanor has changed. You aren’t as peppy asusual and that’s something that worried him.

Mondo extends his arms and brings you into a loving embrace, pulling you intohis big chest and strong arms. It’s a gentle hold, he doesn’t squeeze you.Instead he simply kisses your forehead and waits for you to say anything.

“I’m sorry,” is all you can squeak out. Tears are flowing from your eyes just as they had been all day.

Before he can question it, you continue. “I feel so worthless lately, not evenart can help me right now. I feel like I’m losing everyone and my self-esteem is so shitty right now.”

He guides you to sit down and stares into your eyes intimately. It hurts hisheart to hear you say those things because they were completely untrue. “(Y/N)…why do you feel like that?”

“My life is going to shit.”

He sighs and rests your head on his shoulder. “No matter what, you’ll neverlose me. I love you.” He spends the night holding you as you cry into his chest. He explains that he is going nowhere and that you’re a fantastic person.

From then on out, Mondo stops at nothing to lift you back up. He works with you on your self-esteem and slowly gets you to try art once again. He supports you throughout the process and devotes all of his time and attention to you.

All he wants to do is see you get better. You spend most of the time crying and always go to him for affection; every time you need to cry, he holds you until you stop or until you fall asleep.

Mondo gives you massages whenever you are feeling stressed and leaves notes of encouragement for you to feel better. Whenever you’re apart, he’s texting you and making sure you’re okay. If he needs to, he calls or FaceTimes you regardless of where he is or what he’s doing.

And to work off some steam, he’ll take you on a beautiful scenic drive on the back of his motorcycle at your command, any time you need it.

No matter how distant you feel, or how stressed and depressed you are, Mondo is right there by your side. He will do whatever it takes to make you feel loved and adored and he is a big help in the recovery process.

Ouma Kokichi

He isn’t the most understanding partner. Though he tries, heusually copes with humor and sarcasm and that translates into the way he cheerspeople up as well.

Ouma has had low-points but it’s easy for him to bring himself back up… you,not so much. He’s also never really had self-esteem issues like you have, or atleast not to the same extent.

Whenever you go through a wave of frustration and sadness, he panics and neverreally knows what to do. He would snap his fingers and change it if he could. But he gets flustered easily and sometimes that turns into self-doubt on his own part. He didn’t know what to do to make you feel better.

Ouma loved your art. He supported your schooling and talent completely, alwayscomplimenting it and fawning over it, even when you think it’s awful.

A lot if that was over-exaggeration as well. “Oh, my God! This is the most amaziiing art I’ve ever seen! Picasso… da Vinci, watch out!”

Usually, whenever you cry he is able to cheer you up but lately he just hasn’t beenable to do that. Ouma will never miss an opportunity to flirt with you and showhis affection to try to lift your spirits but he’s seen how discouraged you’vebecome and he doesn’t know how to cope.

You had been getting flustered over a painting, trying over and over again toperfect it. Crumpled up paper and messy canvases were strewn across the room. You kept destroying your creations because none of them were ever good enough.

Ouma was sitting by you on the couch and watching you get increasingly defeatedand upset. He was tired of you bringing yourself down and talking badly aboutyour art, but you just felt like you couldn’t get it right. “Why am I even inthis stupid school if I’m so bad at art?”

Shoving your face in your hands, you break down and start to cry. Ouma standsand rushes to your side. “Well… I don’t think it’s bad. I think it’s perfect!”

His cheery attitude wasn’t working this time. “Want DICE to take out all theshitty professors and rude classmates you have?”

Normally, some kind of off-comment like that would make you laugh but you weren’thaving it. You lift your face from your hands and look at him, irritated. Your eyes werepuffy and cheeks red, and tears continued to stream down your face.

“I can’t do anything right! I’m worthless!” You exclaim and rip yourself fromhis embrace. School was stressing you out and all of your assignments weregetting harder, and you didn’t feel like you could live up to the expectationsplaced on you.

Ouma isn’t going to let you get away with that. He stands and chases after youas you storm off, catching himself in the doorway as you try slamming it behindyou. You felt like you were growing distant from everyone including Ouma and didn’twant him around right now.

Obviously he doesn’t feel the same way. He grasps your shoulders and turns youto face him, and then firmly shakes you, but just slightly. “(Y/N), listen tome! You are not worthless and I’m not going to let you say that about yourself!”

Still, you felt like you didn’t deserve him, your self-esteem was reallygetting under your skin this time. At this point, the tears were unstoppableand you sobbed loudly, not able to form a coherent sentence.

Without warning, he slams his lips into yours and passionately kisses you to getyou to stop crying.

“What do I have to do to help?” His voice is panicky and raised, his tone was higher than usual. You blink, forcing back tears and unable to come up with a response.

Ouma works towards helping you. He still uses humor but his softer side comes out. He’s always asking you how he can help and what you want him to do for you.

He never leaves your side. He even makes art with you to make you feel better. He also keeps you busy so you don’t have time to sit around and stress about life or feel sad, so he takes you places and keeps you on your toes.

Every time you say you want to die, Ouma retaliates with self-deprecating humor. But deep down, he wants to support you so that you don’t feel like that. He does his best but doesn’t have a lot of experience with helping others in that way.

His big heart and clear effort is enough though and you get better as each day goes by.

Sayaka Maizono

Sayaka has never had to worry about self-esteemor felt frustration on the same level as you. She’s had a pretty blessed life.

And she adored your art, she loved watching you work. For such a long time, artwas your happy place and your passion. But why have you felt so disconnectedlately? You’ve felt so unhappy with everything you’ve produced recently and can’tseem to shake the nagging voice in the back of your head.

Currently, you’ve been crying nonstop. It’s been like this for quite some timenow and Sayaka has tried snapping you out of it. She is a naturallycompassionate and loving person and those feelings are only amplified with herpartner.

She is doing her best to make you feel better. Sayaka goes into mom-mode,taking care of you – cooking for you, never leaving your side, she’sessentially been bathing and changing you since you’ve been too sad to doanything lately.

It hurts her but all she can do is be there for you. Every time you muttersomething about wanting to die, she gets really angry and raises her voice. “Neverdo something stupid like that, (Y/N)! I need you here.”

You cry almost all the time and she always wipes your tears. Sayaka tries tocoax you into making art, insisting that it will make you feel better, but yourefuse. Art has only been stressing you out lately and making everything worse.

Usually, you could go to her in times of need – she was a wonderful listenerand never judged you, but you just simply felt like you couldn’t right now. Youwere pushing everyone out of your life, feeling like you’ve already growndistant from your friends and now you were doing the same to your girlfriend.

Still, Sayaka did her best to lift your self-esteem. She showers you withcompliments and always reminds you of how much she loves you but she can onlydo so much.

She was holding you as you cried into the pillow, spooning you and strokingyour hair. She let out a few silent tears of her own but never in front of you. “I feel so useless, I’m over it,” you sigh and her heart sinks.

Nuzzling her face into your hair, she sits you up and rubs her thumb againstyour cheek. “You know I love you, right?”

“I don’t know why,” you sigh and look at the ground. Your face was raw from allthe tears and constant wiping of your sleeve. “I’m worthless, and I don’tdeserve you.”

She tries to not get upset when you say things of that nature but she cannothold herself back. “That is so not true, (Y/N)! You are the most amazing personI’ve ever met.”

A part of you wanted to believe her but you just can’t. Life was getting the best of you and felt like it had been going against you lately.

She rested her head on your shoulder and lifted your hand to hers, kissing the top. “I am not going anywhere. Even if you think you’re growing distant from everyone, I will always be here.” She squeezes your hand tightly and a small smile forms across your lips.

Sayaka will write songs for you and serenade you when you’re feeling down. They’re super cheesy and cliche, but that’s on purpose.

And at night when you’re getting ready to sleep, she trails kisses all the way down your body and back up, never missing an inch. She runs her hands along your skin and does her best to make you feel adored.

Sayaka will not go to sleep until you do. She waits until you’ve drifted off peacefully, and if you’re crying she strokes your hair and hums softly to lull you to sleep. She’ll kiss the tears under your eyes and wakes up early, long before you do, to bring you breakfast in bed.

And if you really can’t sleep, she wil massage you until you do in order to relieve stress.

It doesn’t matter if she loses sleep, she just wants to do the most for you. She goes out of her way to try to make you feel better.

She sends you long texts about how much she loves you and keeps you busy all the time. A day doesn’t go by where she doesn’t support you in your time of need.

Slowly, she reintroduces art into your life. She takes part and draws messy little portraits for you, and they are a lot worse than your masterpieces but she doesn’t care. She just wants to feel like she’s helping and will even hang up your art on the fridge to show you how much she loves it.

And no matter what, Sayaka is your personal little cheerleader. She always compliments you and cheers you on in everything you do to boost your confidence and self-esteem. The last thing she wants is for you to be depressed and defeated, so she tries to change that in any way that she can.

- Mod Rantaro

#danganronpa #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 #ndrv3 imagines #killing harmony #ouma kokichi #kokichi ouma #anime #dr1 #trigger happy havoc #drthh #sayaka maizono #mondo oowada

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holy-ghost-fire · 5 years ago

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) even numbers ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

2. what are your favorite colors and why?

Crimson and grey, since they’re my school colors, and our course black

4. what is your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius

6. what are your favorite films?

“The Count of Monte Cristo” (2002) is my current favorite, followed closely by “Green Book” and “The Alamo” (2004)

8. do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets, they don’t require me to wake up early lol

10. what’s your favorite animal?

That’s a tough one, but I’d have to say the Gharial

12. what is your favorite song of all time?

“Let The Cards Fall” by Blitzen Trapper

14. have you ever been heartbroken?

Yeah :/

16. what is your favorite poem?

“The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost, though I do like a couple WWI poems written by Siegfried Sassoon

18. are you spiritual?

I think pretty rationally for the most part but I do see times when God is moving in our lives

20. what is your favorite feeling?

Contentment and feeling accepted

22. are you an artist?

Nah, I can’t paint or play any instruments well enough for that

24. are you happy?

I’m kinda happy right now but I’ll be happier when I start school and I see all my friends again

26. what emotion do you feel most often?

I think I’m usually pretty neutral most of the time, though I’d have to say happy or bored

28. are you in a relationship?

Nope!

30. do you prefer the moon or the stars?

The stars, nothing quite compares to being in a rural area and seeing the starts across the whole sky

32. where do you feel most at home?

Answered! :^)

34. do you believe in soulmates?

No, but I do believe there are people you are a more natural fit for

36. what is the nicest compliment you’ve received?

I once presented my research at an academic conference and there was a professor from the University of Hawaii who talked with me and said that I was a brilliant student and honestly it really stuck with me

38. what was your first kiss like?

Not that great lol neither of us really knew how to kiss well

40. when was the last time you cried?

Last week, I was saying goodbye to my mother because I was going back to Pullman and when we hugged I could see she was crying and it really got to me

42. what do you think happens to us when we die?

I believe God will decide if we go to Heaven or Hell

44. what do you think about when you can’t fall asleep at night?

Embarrassing things I did in high school, mostly

46. what is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

That’s a tough one because I’ve had many times when family and friends came in clutch for me so its hard to just pick one time

48. are you secretive?

If I trust you and we’re just on that level, I’ll tell you anything

50. do you have a nickname?

Yep! Even though at this point I ask everyone to call me MJ

Thank you! :)

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corancoranthemagicalman · 4 years ago

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💜🌻💜🌻💜🌻💜

My grandpa also has great disdain for recent music... he doesn't like anything after the 50s. So I think its funny that he likes Shrek and he'll watch it any time its on tv. I'm not familiar with Top Gun's soundtrack. I'll have to give Take My Breath Away a listen!

My dad words at a university and he used to bring me and my siblings to the international dinners he'd host. Students would always as me what I was studying and eventually when people started talking to me I'd introduce myself by saying I was my dad's daughter and that I was in high school. I'm not sure if any of them were ever hitting on me bc I was, and still am, pretty oblivious to flirtations. It sucks that you had to tell guys you were in high school to get them to back off. Glad to hear they did, though.

I used to be a hufflepuff when I was in university! I re-took the quiz twice about a year ago and was shocked to get Slytherin both times but I've embraced it. Most of the qualities are very positive except for cunning and I don't think that describes me at all.

I totally get that. I had a similar experience meeting my best friend at university. We clicked really fast and even after graduating I still hang out with her once a week. (The teenage drama movie life thing sounds awful but in high school I was definitely also on the outside of my friend circle) It sure has been hard recently to maintain friendships but I have more good friends right now than at any other point in my life.

I'll take your word for it that I give off painting/crocheting vibes! And I agree with you on the winter v. summer thing. Summer is my least favorite season. Partly because of how humid it is in the summer here.

My group just finished a campaign a few months ago and I played a gnome cleric. They started a new campaign but I felt like I needed a break bc the sessions are long and intense even though I really enjoy it. What class do you play?

The sweater is a commission actually! In university I led a crochet for beginners group and there were a few people that just couldn't ever get the hang of it :(

Did I see that you weren't feeling well today? If so I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope tomorrow treats you better 💜 (also sorry this is an entire novel I haven't spoken to anyone all day so I guess you're getting it all)

-🐧🌻

This got SO LONG so bestie I am replying undercut to you. If anyone wants to see me slowly bromance 🐧🌻 anon then read away lol.

I am envisioning your grandpa dancing to Smash Mouth and it brings me great joy. Oh, man, Top Gun has an AMAZING soundtrack. Danger Zone is a classic, but Take My Breath Away is such a romantic song. Please let me know what you think!!!

Aw, that's sort of wholesome though. I'd get that from the older ladies at my church lol. "What are you studying?"/"Algebra, usually." Which was a LAUGH. And to be honest, I'm a flirty person by nature. I think flirting is fun. But to be crude for a moment (and apologies), most of their flirting would be staring at my breasts. :/ But it was SUCH HIGH HOPES when they backed off. Like YES you GO performing the bare minimum by not being attracted to children. Bravo. But really, I've never had a dude flirt with me who wouldn't back off after me shutting them down, minor or not. So I'm very fortunate in that way. But I too can be fairly oblivious? First time I got asked out, I thought he was asking me to hang out with the friend group. Then he was like "... like a date." After I had asked where did we all wanna meet up. Lmaooooo.

We do change as we grow. I've been taking some personality quizzes for school in regards to the PMAI (Pearson-Marr Archetype Indicator) especially and it actually talks a lot about how at different times in your life you'll display different archetypes depending on what you're having to adapt to or overcome. So I think the same is true for Houses. What's peculiar to me about Houses is that when I was younger I was under the understanding that you were your House, right? But the older I got, I prescribe to the "your House is what you admire" type theology. So I might not embody a Hufflepuff in every action, but a Hufflepuff is what I aspire to be. I admire loyalty above all else. Loyalty and kindness. I might not always BE kind. I'm far too hot-headed to be the embodiment of a Hufflepuff, but I admire gentle souls the most. Ergo, Hufflepuff. I've always hated how Slytherins were associated with negative sounding modifiers. Cunning IS a negative word since by definition it's about achieving one's goals through deceit. But I dont understand why being quick-witted and clever couldn't have been the heavier association. I think Ravenclaw's are booksmart and Slytherin are streetsmart. Gryffindors are street tough, while Hufflepuff are ready to roll. Does that make sense? I think the whole cunning/silver-tongued thing was the stupidest idea, because then you are saying narratively that Slytherin IS the evil House. Why have the House at all? On a meta level, Harry begging not to be considered part of the Dark Side despite the actual Voldemort growing inside of him is symbolic in his rejection of Slytherin, but when you go on to merchandise and tell children you are a Slytherin; you're telling children they're evil. They're gonna be evil. And not in "this is the House for brats" way. In the "you either die a villain or live long enough to run away." insane. My point is they're OUR Houses now and I'm saying I think you're clever and quick-witted, and that's pretty Slytherin to me.

I'm very blessed to have her and I'm glad other people get to experience that too. I think everyone is deserving of deep connections like that. And I'm glad to hear you taking time for yourself away from dnd. Our sessions can be exhausting too, but half of my party is my literal blood family and the other half is adopted practically so we usually end up hanging out for half of the session. Makes it way less intense. That sounds like it was a fun character!! I haven't gotten the pleasure to play clerics all that much. Right now I'm in three different campaigns that alternate each week. In one I'm a druid, and that's our 5th edition campaign. I'm playing the new Wildfire from Tasha's and I haven't gotten to flex out the Wildfire Spirit yet, I am having fun. I've got a wolf who is using the sidekick mechanic in that game and he's so much fun to play too. In the other two games, those are 4th editions (the edition I grew up on and learned how to play) and in those I am a ranger and a class known as a Warden. Sort of a fighter/druid class. And the druid and the ranger are both shifters, and the warden is my half-orc. I'm always happy to talk dnd lol. Which cleric were you? Trickster Domain?

Also EWWW HUMIDITY I HATE IT. :(((

Dude, I WISH I could crochet. My fingers are so big tho, bestie. Makes it hard to do anything dexterous.

I'm already feeling much better :)) unfortunately not in time not to bomb half of my project. Whoops. But I'm blaming Glass Shark. He got me sick.

Dont apologize for the novel!! As you can see I'm capable of replying with a novel in turn lol. I hope you had a wonderful day today and that this next week treats you well!! Thank you for the well wishing 💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕

#anon #ask c #anon 🐧🌻#long post undercut #tw Hogwarts Houses #lmao #no but seriously Hogwarts house talk in here #long post #🐧🌻 anon #idk why I wrote it backwards the first time

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rhiminee · 7 years ago

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here. it. is.

my postcards in the sky album post. omg. i am so scared.

before we get started, just a note: this post will be concerning the 8 new songs on the album. there are 16 songs total, 8 of which were released earlier this year in 2 eps. i have separate posts for each of those eps where i talked about my song feels in great depth and i doubt anyone wants me to do THAT all over again. so. just the new stuff. or rather the new new stuff since it’s all pretty new.

LETS GO.

postcards in the sky. your heart is like a map of scars but it still carries the love the pen and paper’s in your hands catching all that you think of throw your words into the world what you feel and you’ll be heard postcards in the sky.

oh how i love this song, let me count the ways!!! honestly this is my favorite new song. just the first beat has a huge smile starting on my face, it feels so hopeful and loving and true. i can’t say enough about how happy it makes me. it’s not about a perfect world, but a real world where we can choose to share our hearts (scars and all) and find joy and recognition and love. it is so transcendent. it’s like the ultimate david archuleta song. like how is he gonna knock it completely out of the park on the very first song of the album??? how do you follow that up?? also this song has the distinction of hosting perhaps the best lyric i’ve ever heard: FEAR IS ONLY LOVE TURNED COLD. fear is only love turned cold. when i heard that line i was like boom, it’s over. blown away. you guys. i really love this song. i mean. really.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3gCQqXgCOY

upset with me. deep breath with me here kiddos because this song is not easy. it’s jagged and genuine. uncomfortable, if that’s even possible with that amazing voice singing and doing ridiculous things with a note and melody. because sonically this song is so so soooo well done. lyrically it slices right in. i’m not even joking when i say i had to stop listening to the album after this song. my heart was racing and i felt hollow in my stomach. it is unspeakably beautiful and striking. i just sat in complete silence for about 10 minutes after listening the first time. then i hit replay and listened again. i feel this song on such a deep level. you cannot listen and not be affected.

if i’m not enough to show you who i am after all i’ve done then it’s too tough for you to understand. i’m taking back what’s mine we both sacrificed gave everything we had but i don’t have to give you my life. i know you’re upset with me but you can’t keep hurting me.

i’m not sure what i’m running to for now it’s something i needed to do i need to keep me safe from you. you still can’t see. why can’t you see.

painted eyes reaching for the sky as we reach the moon busting clouds, oh you scream so loud so i hide from you. i never said a word to you so i hide the truth. what did i do. what did i do.

[there’s that deep breath]. what to say. the fact that david is willing to be this vulnerable and open is breathtaking. of course i had immediate thoughts about what (who) i felt he was talking about in this song. i still do. but the more i thought the more i thought... this is probably an unpopular opinion but i hope people don’t ask david for the specifics behind this song. not because i don’t want him to share if he wants to but because i don’t want him to feel he has to give out everything of himself. some things are his. some details belong to him. maybe he’ll be fine sharing but i won’t ask it of him. this song alone is so much. sometimes it’s like baby birds eating mama bird alive. i don’t even actually know what i’m saying jfc but just i can’t contain all my feelings and this song honestly touched me on such a deep level and i see so much of david here but also see that he belongs to himself. i’m saying this wrong so i hope something of my thoughts are making sense. this is the song i was most afraid to talk about because my feelings are so complex about it and i didn’t want to say it wrong but there’s no right way to say it. just. i think this is one of the most brilliant and raw songs i’ve ever heard in my life. genius. nothing about genius is comfortable. so. yeah.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esgOLksbAAU

waiting in the stars. DISNEY MOVIE SONG. legit you guys. we so needed this after the last song and david says, here, let me sing you my very own disney song to soothe your heart and it does it does does doessssss this song is so precious and uplifting and it has a driving beat and a power note and fun chorus and i am so jamming to this on many roadtrips and screaming YOUR STORY’S WAITING IN THE STAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS because yes. yes. i cannot stop smiling. i love this. listen to this happy song omg your life will thank you. why is david not a disney prince yet. it defies logic.

dodging all the sticks and stones scared a word might break a bone but if you stand and hold your own you will see you’re not alone. i know it gets hard sometimes to live with a heart of light.

don’t let, don’t let it fool ya this life’s got more for you, yeah your story’s waiting in the stars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zsbVPGvv8g

seasons. this song is so preeeeeettyyyyyyy omg perfect voices. it’s a duet! with a girl named madilyn paige who has such a lovely voice and it melds really well with david’s. it’s a love song. a sad love song. a sad beautiful lost love song.

there must be some kind of reason we keep changing through the seasons. it gets harder to believe in the reasons why we start when we just break each other’s hearts all over.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QxiB_JuPqQ

cracks of heaven. i think if you’ve lost someone close, this song really speaks to you. i immediately thought of my dad when i heard it. not gonna lie, i cried a little. david archuleta why you gotta sing my heart when i didn’t even know the words were there?? the sentiment is so lovely, that we never really lose someone because they’re with us in everything around. i’m trying not to get emotional typing this up right now but that’s clearly a fool’s battle.

i thought this empty house would be more quiet but i can hear your voice whisper loud. i close my eyes and it’s like you’re still here with me. without you i thought it would be a ghost town i was afraid my heart would stop. it hurts from missing you but what gets me through is knowing, knowing i’ll see you in the morning light i see you in the midnight sky i feel it everywhere around me never have to say goodbye. it doesn’t matter where i go i feel you in every memory i hold until i see you again through the cracks of heaven.

😭 ❤️

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7yD_3_bPuQ

shine a light. DISNEY SONG, PART 2! omg. david archuleta is the master of real life disney songs and it makes me so so sosoooooooooo happy. this is such an earworm and i find myself singing random lines from it throughout the day. it’s just like love and hope and persistence realized in song form. the high pulsing tone in his voice in the chorus has me like YES THAT’S CLASSIC DA. hello.

you’re gonna fall but that isn’t all your story. some day you’ll rise and then you’ll realize there’s more we don’t understand and hold in our hands.

the good is never gone it’s the dark before the dawn shine a light

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAoJnNAQ5PQ

aiming for hope. confession: i’m still working on this one. i know several people who said this song is their fav on the album but i just haven’t really connected with it yet. it’s gorgeous, has some very nice string work going on and david sings it very well but i haven’t been able to get into it. i’m sure this will change completely when he sings it for me live. HAHAHA. (legit).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrV4baj9YPk

a little goes a long way. you guys, this is almost a little like a country song! maybe just at the beginning. and a bit in the chorus. lol. it’s uptempo and head bobby and cute! a nice way to close out the album!! it makes me smile.

take a moment and just step back before you give yourself a heart attack you been too worried about what you lack time to breathe and get you on track.

there is a fire that’s trying to light a little spark to get through the night could be enough to see a new day cuz a little goes, a little goes, a little goes a long way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Wh91FGLoPE SONG BY SONG RECAP FINIS.

so. this album. wow. it’s so good. i have to keep reminding myself it’s not just the 8 new new songs. it’s 16 songs released this year. a 16 song album that charts a huge part of the story of david. where he learned so much about himself. it’s fully amazing to listen to all the songs and know it’s all coming from a place of genuine feeling. i’m so impressed with what david has created. slow clap forever.

faves from the new 8: postcards in the sky, waiting in the stars, upset with me, shine a light.

faves from the other 8: other things in sight, say me, someone to love, invincible, up all night.

i can’t encourage you enough to check out this album. david has so much to say and he does it so beautifully. my awe is real.

buy postcards on itunes buy postcards on amazon stream postcards on spotify

#david archuleta #postcards in the sky #i freaking love this album #album recap #long long long #i have so many feelings about this #i feel like i should read back over this for editing purposes but honestly i'm too exhausted lmao #sorry if it's bad

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steamishot · 5 years ago

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Adulting

The higher-ups are starting to investigate how much each of our workloads are. They are asking for specific numbers. My team is considered to be overstaffed, which explains my lack of work. I’m in the least senior position here, so I would be the first to boot, and I don’t mind it. My coworker mentioned that 5 is the magical number for her before layoffs start to happen; her 5th year here will be in November. With the introduction of new systems: UC Path, ePermits, Tracker, etc. there’s been less need for human labor as more responsibility falls on a centralized system or on the employee themselves. It gets rid of the third party (us). The transition to these systems were time-consuming, but now that we have worked out most of the kinks, we’re pretty smooth sailing from here. I’m waiting until 3/16 to find out if Matt matches into his Brooklyn program. That will determine where I’ll be job searching next. Work is pleasant, it’s chill and easy, and I work with nice people. However, the boredom, commute, and lack of growth suck. I’m enjoying my time here as it is, and enjoying the flexibility I have for time off.

At the staff meeting yesterday (half of which is just girl talk), the three older women (~40s) were sharing their wisdom per usual. They talked about who their assets and money would go to after they die. They all agreed that the majority of it would go to their kids, and a small portion, if any, would go to their husband. They talked about how nasty people get after someone passes and how everyone’s fighting for their belongings. My manager stressed that it’s important to have something in writing and notarized so that there is proof after death how to handle what’s leftover. She will be making her kids have their partners sign a prenup. She refuses to let her assets go into the hands of their partners. LOL. While they were thinking about life after death, I’m barely getting comfortable with the idea of marriage.

Since I was too shy to have this conversation in person and I felt the timing wasn’t right (because of how tired he was), I was finally brave enough to do it this past Sunday over Facetime. I gave it a lot of thought last week, and through some internet advice (thanks MedSpouse subreddit), and some older friends’ advice, I mustered up the courage to spit out the words “engagement” and “marriage” to him. His mental health has been much better this time around on night shifts. I realized his last night shift was so grueling because it was in the ICU. This night shift and future night shifts are not ICU so it is SO. MUCH. BETTER. Anyway, I was finally able to let out what was on my mind, and I have to realize talks about the future are in little pieces. I told him that with our current situation, I do not want to continue doing this type of LDR anymore (meaning we have to seriously consider living in the same city, or at least closer than cross country). At this point, we’ve been long distance longer than we’ve been dating locally. And as I approach 30, I would feel more secure that we both have this overarching couples goal of getting engaged and married. His response to, do you see us getting engaged and married – yes! I could tell he was happy, but was also stressed out/pressured.

As males/females, we have different priorities. I’m making inferences here so it might not be the truth on his part. I do want to have kids, and would prefer to have them around 30 – the younger the better. I feel it’s common for women to seek security around our late 20s/early 30s because of our biological clock. As for men, I feel like because he’s still in training and does not have a future secured, he does not feel mentally/financially prepared to support someone else and a family. I hope that is the main reason he felt stressed about the topic, but he has been acting more loving/caring since then. I guess that is good sign.

I once heard on a podcast about a researcher/scientist who was trying to prove the point that: if you are stuck/committed to something/someone and have no other choices, you’ll learn to love that thing even more. And he got married to his long-term girlfriend to test his theory. Once he got married, he loved his wife even more. I understand this concept, I saw it when my brother and his wife bought a house. Before the purchase, my parents weren’t really feeling the property. Once they bought it, my dad refused to say anything negative about the house anymore because the deal is done. He only wanted to recognize the positive aspects.

I’m sure my mental health is connected to his (and I’m trying to keep it at a healthy level). Now that he’s good and better at meeting my needs, I’m pretty good too. I’m making more of an effort to keep myself busy and also connect with friends I don’t see very often. I went to see my former coworker this past weekend. She lives out in the middle of nowhere, but formed a small art community where she lives. I also saw a different older former worker too for dinner. Her brother passed away from cancer last year, and it’s been very tough for her and her family. She’s been having marital issues (mostly due to in-law relationships) since she got married ~5 years ago. I hate to see her stagnant and having the same issues for 5 years. With her brother’s passing, it seems she adopted the mindset of “don’t sweat the small stuff”. It made her cherish her loved ones even more and is committed to making her marriage work. She always teaches me to have kindness and compassion.

Highlights this past week:

Bought my brother/sister a housewarming gift of a queen mattress and bed frame to put in their guest room

Painted with my friends in Lytle Creek

Made a tiktok with L, finally

Went to watch Ali Wong live – her older stuff is definitely better

Officially got my own auto insurance #adulting

Currently working on taxes & excited for my refund

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serpensthesia · 7 years ago

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The first rule of the ever-evolving 11-question meme is that you must always post the rules! The second rule is you must answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. The third rule is you must then write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 people (or however many, you do you, bb) to answer them!

(If it is your first time at the ever-evolving 11-question meme, you do not have to fight though.)

I was tagged by @silveredglass and @devinesis, who are both amazing like whoa. Please go check them out right this instant, you will not regret it! (Very long) Answers below the cut! My questions at the very, very bottom... just keep scrolling, just keep scrolling...

Answers to @silveredglass's questions:

1. Have you ever had something happen to yourself (not as a baby) that you didn’t remember until someone else told you about it?

Oh my goodness, all the time? I could truly be a living, breathing version of that psychology experiment given how often people remind me of things I have done but have no memory of them. A good example is that I do not remember reading Hamlet in high school, but bestfran, who was in the same class as me, swears up and down that we did. And not only that we did, but that it was like... a thing. Like parts were given out. People got into it. It's possible that costumes were worn? And I had no memory of this until she started talking about it. I very seriously thought she was lying to me, that's how much I had forgotten this happened. It was only after she started talking about it and telling me that it definitely happened that I was like "oh shit, you are right... you are so right." (Or she has some weird thing about wanting to implant false memories about Hamlet, which I guess I would also be okay with.)

2. Best food combination that shouldn’t work but does that you have ‘invented’?

This is actually really tough. I have made some pretty odd cupcakes in my day, but the one that is most often requested is my pear, feta and hefeweizen cupcake, which I am told is a pretty strange combination? But I guess not that strange because people want them all the time?

3. Do you like live theatre? Art exhibits? If so tell me about something you’ve seen that made an impact.

Very much so! We have a free museum here that houses many of my most favorite surrealist paintings, but it is also associated with the Rothko chapel, which is one of the most peaceful places I think I have ever been? The picture does not do those monolithic paintings justice, either... they are easily 3 or 4 times my height and truly overpowering to see up close. They look just all black, but they are filled with so much movement. Rothko is certainly a difficult painter to capture in photography. I could (and have) stared at them, lost in the shades and hidden colors, for moments that seemed very long. It's just silent in a loud way. 10/10, do recommend.

4. Do you have an accessory or jewellery or makeup that you wear almost always?

I have a silver ring with a little cross on it that my mother gave me, I think right before I started college? I wear it on my left ring finger, but it is neither a ~*purity ring*~ (because I am not religious and also purity rings are creepy) nor is it meant to signal any sort of message... it's just the most comfortable finger. Fun story. Not long after HGD and I started dating, he had my ring in his mouth (I don't know?) and bit (yes, with his teeth) it out of shape. He didn't think it was real silver? I don't know what he was thinking. But I was so angry. We took it to the place where it is from and they were not sure they would be able to reshape it because it looked like HGD had fucking bitten a stress fracture into my ring?! But it was fine (HGD got so lucky). So now it has little tiny teeth indents, which is dumb but also kind of wonderful. HGD isn't allowed to touch the ring anymore, though.

5. What is your strongest olfactory memory?

Any time I smell Chrome (the terrible, cheap cologne that every teenage boy seems to own?), I am transported back to being 16 years old in the early evening heat of August, and a boy is handing me his Pink Floyd shirt that is many sizes too big and saying "I heard a rumor that you liked me?" and kissing me on the cheek.

6. What album that has been released in the past two years should I go buy?

Okay. If I had to pick just one album, and it doesn't even matter if you like rap, it would be DAMN. by Kendrick Lamar. It is undeniable how good it is. But I am bad at picking one, so I might also recommend World Eater by Blanck Mass, Humanz by Gorillaz, or Dirty Projectors by (you guessed it) Dirty Projectors!

7. When you were a kid did you have a favourite make believe game you’d play? Or dress up you’d wear?

When I was a little girl, my cousins and I all very much liked to play with my grandfather's wife's square dancing skirts. We would just twirl around in them for hours, pretending that we were all beautiful dancers!

8. Tell me something that made you feel proper chuffed with yourself. In a nice quietly contented way.

Oh, any time I corral my team into agreement, or really even any time I get them to go *a* direction, I feel very quietly content with myself! Or! And god, this is so dumb, but any time that I put a lot of things in my queue for this blog so that it doesn't seem like I'm dead for days on end!

9. IS MISSING. Is this one of those things where I am supposed to notice? I will take this chance to tell you all that you should go read Silv's first lines meme answer, then.

10. Have you ever had a scary or very odd animal encounter?

Well... this is more about an animal encounter that I didn't have, but when I was a kid, my family stayed the night in Yosemite National Park in a canvas tent (which was surprisingly nice... or 10-year-old me had lower standards than current me, maybe). When you park, you watch this TERRIFYING video of bears just RIPPING CARS APART if they smell food in your car so you have to throw away EVERYTHING that might attract bears. And I mean everything, even gum wrappers. So you can imagine what they would do if they smelled food inside your tent, right? I slept surprisingly well that night for being terrified that I might be mauled to death in my sleep by a hungry bear, though.

11. Share a link to a fic or fan art that you love?

Oh... oh, so tough. Wildfire by abbycadabra makes me feel things everytime I read it. And I really, really love atalienart's "Spell Series"!

Answers to @devinesis's questions:

1. What’s something in this world that you just don’t understand and wish you could?

I very sincerely wish that I could understand the conservative mindset of putting businesses or profits or churches before actual human lives. I mean I wish I could understand it in the way that they must feel it, because I jokingly say that Ted Cruz is obviously the Zodiac Killer in a Lizard Person's body (*cough* he is *cough*), but I can also (begrudingly) admit that he is maybe also a human bean (even if a v bad one)... and how does he, or any person that voted for him, or any person that votes along beside him in Congress... well, how do they justify their own seeming lack of humanity? It's a mystery to me.

2. What show or movie does everyone love and tell you to watch but you just hate no matter how many times you try?

I'm probably about to lose so many followers but THE HARRY POTTER MOVIES?!?! Like I disagree with nearly all of the casting, I will never forgive them for not making Harry's eyes fucking green, and even the movies that I watched... it felt like they glossed over all of the most magical parts?

They are irredeemable trash in my opinion and even though we got some cool actors out of it, I have no interest in even trying to love them. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON SIRIUS BLACK, OKAY.

3. The first book you ever really loved? (If it’s HP, cool, but you have to say something else, too. LOL)

Oh. Anything by Francesca lia Block... I devoured her books when I was younger. I wanted so desperately to be one of those manic pixie shangri-la fairy girls that she wrote about. Or To Kill A Mockingbird because... well, Atticus.

4. If you were going to be in a relationship (platonic or sexual) for the rest of your life with a character from the Harry Potter universe, who would you choose?

Sorry, Draco, but I'm going with Hermione Granger. Helpful for studying? Check. Sometimes problematic but woke af? Check (better than most other characters in the book). Will be down to sometimes do girly things? Check. Is good at keeses because most girls are? Check. Likes to know things? Check. Is a badass? Check. Knows muggle AND magical shit? Check. Is def a ride or die, and down for adventuring without being a baby (looking at you, Ron)? CHECK.

5. Your most hated book you were ever assigned to read in school?

Tess of the D'Ubervilles. *rolls eyes* She should have just killed everyone and rolled out of there with two middle fingers up in the air instead of complaining about everything for the whole book (I realize this is not a very nuanced look at this novel, but lord, did I hate this when I had to read it in school... we also had some nightmare-level assignments related to this book, which is probably part of the reason I hated it so much).

6. If you had a personal uniform like a cartoon character, what would it be?

All black everything (which is not far off from what I usually wear now), except, like a cartoon character, everything would fit perfectly and never fade and always look cool and I would also never have to actually put on eyeliner, I would just rock the perfect cat-eye all the time.

7. Where is your “happy place”?

Any place where I can get a (good) vanilla latte or listen to music very loud and just dance around like an idiot.

8. Favorite form of exercise?

I really enjoy yoga, but I certainly don't do it often enough. I also kind of like the monotony of elliptical machines?

9. If you had a crush when you were, like, 12–14—looking back, is it embarrassing, or do you nod at your younger self in approval?

Mostly I am embarrassed but I did crush hard for a few hours on a total stranger at a battle of the bands when I was probably 14. He had long black hair and weird tall shoes and was defintely wearing eyeliner and looked like the closest thing I might ever see to Davey Havok in person and I just wanted to talk to him because he was so pretty (but also clearly much older than me). I still approve of that one, 4-hour crush on a dreamy goth stranger. Other than that, 12-14 year old me definitely had trash taste.

10. What, for you, are the most hated and most enjoyable tasks of adulthood?

Most hated? Having to ever wake up early and be somewhere on time while knowing that if I'm late I have no one to blame but myself? Most enjoyable: Being able to decide when I want to do things, if at all (within reason).

11. What small-talk question do you most hate answering from strangers at a party?

In high school it was, "where do you want to go to college" because I did not know where I wanted to go to college, or even if I wanted to go to college. In college it was "what's your major?" as if there are not a million other things you could say to a perfect stranger that would be more interesting. In grad school it was "oh, so why did you want to study this"... we all have the same answer, guys. We aren't here for the money. We're all here because we want to help. Come on. Currently, it's "oh, what do you do?" because my job is sort of difficult to explain and I always get "the look" of like "oh, that sounds like it must be really sad" and I know it's not necessarily what I should be doing, but it's what I'm doing right now, damn it. Also because we could talk about literally anything else, why does it always have to be work?

Okay... so I'm just going to do 22 questions and you can pick your favorite 11 to answer (if you decide you want to do this).

1. What are some of your favorite song lyrics and why do you love them so much? 2. If you could live in a fictional reality from a novel (or show, or whatever), where would you live? (Hard mode: you can't choose Hogwarts, or anything from the HP universe... womp womp) 3. What will you FIGHT a person about (in the internet sense of the word)(or also in the literal sense of the word)? 4. What was your first fandom and how did you find yourself there? 5. Not a question but post a picture of whatever you want. 6. What is something not enough people understand and you want to explain to me right now? 7. What is your favorite thing that you have ever studied (doesn't have to be in school, or even studied formally)? 8. You are suddenly allowed to keep one real, wild animal as a pet and it's not going to kill you or hurt you, it's just going to be sweet and awesome... what animal do you choose? 9. Least favorite activity that you have grown to bedrudingly accept as necessary (and maybe even a little fun)? 10. Give past-you a cryptic message - no context, just the message: 11. Who is your problematic fave and why do you love them so much? 12. What is the last thing that someone radically changed your mind about? How did they do it? 13. You are trapped on a desert island. There is no escape. No one is coming to save you. You are going to die. What 3 things do you bring with you so that you can die happy? 14. What 3 dumb as hell things make you stupidly, infectiously happy? 15. What do you create? 16. You've gone down the YouTube k-hole and have been binge watching nonsense for the past 2 hours. Where did you start? 17. If you could have a magical tattoo a la moving tattoos in HP fanon, that would appear when you wanted it and disappear when you didn't, what would it be of? 18. What stereotype actually pretty accurately describes you? 19. You have a kid in your possession, that does not belong to you, that you get return at the end of the day. What do you teach that child that is going to make their parents hate you? 20. What is the last fic you read that you would recommend everyone read? 21. What do you love about yourself? 22. Send a message using only emojis. Let your readers guess what it means!

Okay, tagging (only if you want to!): @deadsdemona, @sprout2012, @fleetofshippyships, @oceaxereturns, @ourloveislegendrarry, @o0o-chibaken-o0o, @fizzingwhizweezes, @goldentruth813, @phd-mama, @acciotomriddle, @synonym-for-life (and @silveredglass and @devinesis, if you guys want to answer more questions, lol!) Or if I didn’t tag you and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

#tagging meme #memes that evolve!#a choose your own adventure at the end #silveredglass #devinesis #<-- literal rockstars

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