#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—
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causenessus · 1 day ago
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hi! i'll keep this short
i came to the realization everytime i've disappeared from tumblr to "take a break" i never really have because of other things going on in my life (which, duh, this isn't my whole life) but! i also realized that if i never actually take the time to recover and rest and think about things i should be writing i'll never feel better. so! i'm (once again)(but now more formally) going on hiatus until maybe may! i might pop in for spring break or earlier if i feel like it, but until then, not really any writing from me! with that being said, i'll still be around, doting on my moots (i.e. like, dorothea <3 wyr <3 and bug <3) because i love them so much and i will probably also post chapters of present ever so often! the reason being (i'm going to try to make this make sense but it may only make sense to me but i'm aware of how contradicting i am to me five seconds ago when i said i need to take a break from writing) present is a very personal fic for me that i've worked on for years at this point. what i'm posting now are chapters i wrote months ago after I've read over and edited them (or in the case of the upcoming chapter, i did randomly add it in and had to write it from the ground up last week lmao) but if it isn't obvious, present is a work i'm very passionate about and am just posting in case anyone else enjoys it but it feels like it's a work that is very individualized just for me and it doesn't cause me any stress or anxiety. on the topic of individualization, although i am of course so so thankful for all of the support and people that follow me, i do sort of miss when my blog and world were a lot smaller. it's something i feel like i only get when i get to reply to people in comments, but other than that, all the numbers and people on my feed give me a lot of anxiety. the hq (smau fandom especially) fandom or at least how much i'm (was) involved in it has grown exponentially and of course i'm happy about that but it's a bit too much for me. i'll be taking a huge step back from the fandom and any hq works i've written at least in the meantime, but that's not to say they'll never be finished! but i either need to grow to handle the bigger audience that now reads my works or wait for things to grow a little smaller again :) i hope to still be able to read my moots works but forgive me if it takes me a bit or i never get to them! i think at the least i'll still like them to show my support <3 thank you if you read my long ramble! i love you all <3
oh also i'll probably post self ship moodboards and the beginning of my reading list (thank you again dorothea for the idea <3)! but again, I think you get the idea by now; I want to go back to doing this for me! so this is a tiny little goodbye now i'm leaving for you all with forehead kisses and flowers and love notes and mwah <3 i'll see you around!
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crookedfivefingers · 2 months ago
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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lyssafreyguy · 5 months ago
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God . . . imagine thinking Laios is a bad person who doesn't care about people. actual insanity.
#yea this is about you know who's 'review' again. it's on my mind now that i'm trying to finish the series. sowwy. ;9#making this unrebloggable from the getgo this time so that drama obsessed freaks can't get their hands on my ramblings again. fuck off lmao#anyways imagine thinking that. IMAGINE THINKING THAT HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HIS SISTER. GET WELL SOON OR FUCKING PERISH.#EDIT HEY I'M NOT QUITE DONE ACTUALLY:#i heard someone else say this and now that i finished the series i honestly gotta agree on some level#i think this specific YTer did genuinely try to give the series as a whole another shot (since she was only watching the anime at first)#but then when she went into the manga was so fucking mad at her viewers and fans straight up disagreeing with her personal interpretations#(which were wrong but she took them down the dumb as fuck and extremely wrong road of All of These Are Factual Actually Sorry)#that she only really skimmed the manga (or looked at footnotes/summaries) and took up a soapbox of I Know Everything About This Thing Now#and doubled down on her just completely wrong and honestly dumb opinions and interpretations being presented as fact out of pure spite#it legit sucks so fucking bad. cause like i know and have actually seen her audience who haven't ever touched the series#(or some that maybe started it and have some sort of beef with it for one reason or another and had those feelings validated by her)#parrot back these ideas as if they're true! i partly know it cause it happened with me and her talking about fucking ****** ********!#like legit i sometimes check like her channel or her blog on here every so often and i saw a post of hers on here#where someone in the replies just. blindly agreed with her! and called Laios a bad person probably without ever checking DM out themselves!#which is crazy cause this YTer used to call out like other YTers not taking hard stances#feeling they have to cloak whatever opinions or stances they have in a million This Is Just My Opinion disclaimers etc#which made me realize Oh Hey Yea They Do That like i used to like that about her!#but. you know. if her audience isn't forming their own opinions about a series and just parroting back her own to validate her being wrong.#then it's fine. i guess. epic echo chamber moments or what the fuck ever.#okay NOW i'm done i think. this time. i like to bitch and moan so i might vague post about her again probably. tee hee. :3
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palms-upturned · 6 months ago
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I’m late to this whole debacle but for the record, I have been messaged by people in Gaza who thought that I was involved in the fundraiser vetting process and sent me photos of their government IDs and documentation. I know a little of what Hussein, Nairuz, Ahmed, Ibtisam, and others use to vet people and make sure that they’re legit, and that’s part of why I confidently cite them as a source. To try and discredit them and smear them as scam artists, along with the genocide victims that they’re trying so hard to help, is fucking beyond the pale.
The reason I’ve been inactive on this blog and focusing instead on compiling resources in order to bring more ppl onto the fundraiser blog is that the work I was doing was spiraling into a 12-hour a day endeavor with just myself, and it was making me so physically and mentally ill that I could barely move or think, so I had to step back and figure out a better way to organize things. And I’m not even doing the actually hard part of this work. I do not vet people. I do not have any skin in this game as a white USAmerican. It’s not my family who are dying in Gaza. I also have not been targeted for harassment or account bans. I literally cannot fucking fathom the physical and mental strain that Palestinian bloggers on this platform have been going through nonstop for nearly a year now.
I still remember being shocked when I saw that Hussein had come back to tumblr after having to take a break due to having a heart attack. Ibtisams, who vetted people and organized all sorts of fundraising efforts all while grieving her father and little sister killed in Gaza, was forced to come back to tumblr to make a statement about how she was in an inpatient facility because people had the gall to impersonate her in order to scam people. Ahmed literally escaped Gaza because of a very well documented fundraising effort here on tumblr, no thanks to the cunts at GoFundMe who made things as difficult as possible every step of the way, and has since spent time and effort helping other people who had hopes of sharing his success. Calling these people scammers is fucking unbelievable. Some of you wouldn’t know solidarity if it bit you in the ass.
If getting messages in your inbox from people trying to escape a genocide makes you uncomfortable, fucking suck it up. Or disable your inbox, I guess. Do literally anything else besides using your platform to direct harassment and slander at people who are trying to survive a genocide. This website is already quite literally engaging in tech apartheid by targeting users in Gaza so constantly, you don’t need to gleefully join in by tagging staff and asking them to terminate people. Fucking unconscionable behavior. I hope that it will follow everyone involved for the rest of their lives.
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transrevolutions · 1 year ago
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french revolution dashboard simulator
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🐀 ami-du-peuple Follow
uh actually man has the right to deal with his oppressors by devouring their beating hearts. hope this helps.
🎩 departicle Follow
Hold up. Okay. Actually, fuck this. This sort of violent rhetoric should not be tolerated on here. Do you seriously think this sort of thing is going to make the nobility give you more rights???? You must be out of your minds! Reported.
🧵 seamstressproud Follow
reblog to devour this guy's beating heart
#username checks out lmao #politics #everybody point and laugh #common adp w
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organt-deactivated06151792
update: new canto out now!!! go check it out 😈😏🥀 (remember don't like don't read <3)
📜 sacredhostreceipts Follow
@centuriesandskies this you?? not such a great look for a convention rep ngl
🌄 centuriesandskies Follow
listen. I wrote this a long time ago, before I went into serious politics. the account is deactivated for a reason.
I was twenty. I did poorly. I can do better.
#sj.txt #if this is the worst dirt you can dig up on me #i'm way less corrupt than half the people in the convention these days #at least i'm not doing fucking. embezzlement. #also sacredhostreceipts if you're who i think you are #don't you have better things to do rn?
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🌎 landscape-showdown Follow
🌎 landscape-showdown Follow
why the fuck is everyone tagging this with french??? political figures?
#what the hell is going on over there #also maybe cool it with the death threats #I don't want this blog to get taken down #what's a girondin #is this some joke I'm not french enough to understand #showdown update
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⛪ progressivepriest Follow
Unpopular opinion but why is everyone so up in arms about the new Civil Oath? Literally all it's asking is for you to promise not to commit treason just because the Pope tells you to? I can see where people are coming from with the whole violation-of-religion deal, but can you blame the Assembly for trying to make sure the people aren't forcibly subjugated by the wealth of the nobility?
faith-first-alwaysdeactivated03011791
Sounds like something a heretic would say. To betray the Pope and king is to betray the will of God and your eternal soul! You should pray for forgiveness and pledge loyalty to the monarchy or have fun burning in hell. Sorry not sorry.
⛪ progressivepriest Follow
L + ratio + iirc the Bible says "it is easier for a rope to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven" (Matthew 19:24)
🎻 lacarmagn01e Follow
occasional based catholic moment, go off OP!
🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow
looked the faith-first-always guy's blog, he's like a massive anti-huguenot too 🙄 why is it always the prot-exclusive radical catholics smh
🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow
LMAOOOOO HE DEACTIVATED
#religion tag #percs fuck off #anyways op makes a valid point #reblog #percs dni
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🛌 virtuous-bedtime Follow
she committee on my safety til I can't go public
🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow
I don't understand the joke, can someone explain please?? 🙂 Thank you!
🧵 seamstressproud Follow
is that fucking MAXIMILIEN ROBESPIERRE?!!?!?!?
🛌 virtuous-bedtime Follow
oh my god citizen robespierre I'm so sorry this was not meant to break containment lol I didn't even know you were on this site please forget you saw this
#this is the most embarassing moment of my life #literally sobbing rn #the original post is /j i prommy #i cannot be known as the citizen who had to explain this to the government
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🪓 indulgentsfuckoff Follow
fabre d'eglantine is NOT your poor little meow meow citizens he literally falsified decrees from the national convention and embezzled money to line his own pockets. I don't care how uwu babygirl you think he is he is a CRIMINAL who should be ARRESTED
💛 i-give-people-bread Follow
🥖🍞🥐
#baguette #loaf #croissant #i-give-people-bread #indulgentsfuckoff #silly
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🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow
fucking fed up with the constant threat of the swiss guard, I think it's time we got some gunpowder and weapons and took things into our own hands yknow what I'm saying
🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow
I'm no longer joking about this btw
🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow
update:
hopital
🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow
ok bc I've gotten like 50 asks about this: I am not injured and I am not in need of medical care. the punchline was that we stormed the fucking hotel des invalides to get guns and powder. didn't want to clarify the joke before now for security reasons but everyone knows about that and the bastille thing by now. please direct your money to people who actually need it.
#shouldve clarified the last post was /j #however I assumed yall knew this joke already #anyways #revolution #personal #500 #1k
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🌾 nopain-nograin Follow
got so high at the festivial 2day i thnk i saw hte suapreme being
#robespiere speech was prboably 🔥 #unforntuately i camt rember any of it #grainposting #oipum ehre is somtehing else thes days #memes
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🎨 jldavid-real-moved Follow
incredible speech from @springtimeofgovernment today at the jacobin club. nobody should be permitted to use their positions as civic leaders to commit crimes against the people, even under the guise of revolutionary fervor. if it comes to it, I too will drink the hemlock with him. for france. 🤝🤝
🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow
Thanks for your support, @jldavid-real
The situation over here is deteriorating really quickly, the representatives are getting violent and abandoning due process entirely. Anything you can do to stand with us now would be very appreciated. You do a lot of great work for the revolution, and I trust you completely.
🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow
@jldavid-real are you still there? We could really use your help right now.
🌄 centuriesandskies Follow
boosting @springtimeofgovernment here, can confirm he's been injured in a skirmish at the hotel de ville, they're passing summary death sentences without trial, @jldavid-real where is the help you promised us??? the people of paris are our only hope now.
edit: of course he moved blogs. coward.
#sj.txt #disappointed yet unsurprised #marat would be ashamed of you #9 thermidor #update
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🎻 lacarmagn01e Follow
DNI if you support any of these groups/people or their actions: m0narchists, f3uillants, br1ssotins/g1rondins, th3rmidorians, b0napart1sts, h3nri du v3rgier (also goes by c0mte de r0chjacquelin), charl0tte c0rday, or lafay3tte
(h3bertists and dant0nists you're on thin ice. behave.)
#censored so they dont show up in the tags #dni #get your nasty ass ideologies off my page #won't hesitate to block and/or report any violators #pinned
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gracchus-babeufdeactivated05271797
reblog to make the directoire choke to death on their stupid fucking outfits
🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow
hey staff. yeah you. where did this blog go?? notfishgoujon and prairial-95 are gone as well?? cowards too afraid to show your faces lmao especially after the fucking mess the directoire's made of the country. bet you anything that staff are on their fucking payroll too iykwim at least the republic didn't tolerate fucking bribery
#this site's gone to the dogs since thermidor yr 2 #following the trend of the rest of the country tbh #i'll probably get nuked for posting this #if so i'm not making a new account #i'll just make a paleocities or smth #politics tag #reblog #don't play with me ik full well gb didn't delete his blog of his own free will #they also zero note glitched it #just when you think they can't stoop lower
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📕 spectrehauntingeurope Follow
it's been 50 fucking years since gracchus-babeuf (and the other CoE blogs) were deleted without warning and still no response from staff, the govt, or anything. the site's gone through a fuckton of ownership changes and still nothing.
we're working on a bit of a project (some of you might know abt it already), it's gonna be out prob in the next year or so. remember '89. remember '93 and '94. remember '97.
the people will rise again. it's only a matter of time. 🚩
-mod karl
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dickgraysonsbitch · 8 months ago
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Hi! Just found your blog and it’s the best thing ever honestly. I was wondering if you could do a Jason Todd x reader where the reader deals with migraines and sensory overloads? If not that’s totally cool, have a nice day!
thank you so much for your ask!! this was actually my first request ever 😭 nonny you will go down in history 💖 a psa that while i do have mild sensory issues, i don’t have migraines, so any and all criticism is welcome!
warnings: pills/migraines | 1.2k words | dividers by @cafekitsune | requests open !
You fell onto the bed, tucking your knees in close to your chest. Fifty minutes. This goddamned headache had been the bane of your whole existence for fifty minutes, and you couldn’t even catch a bloody break. Every week, it would come back like clockwork, and while you had your routine (two advils, an eye mask, and soothing ocean noises all while sitting in a dark room with a singular, mildly-scented lavender candle with two out of three wicks lit) it didn’t change the fact that every minute that you lay there, the throbbing sensation around your head came back worse than before.
Grasping the tip of your nose, you tilted your head back in order to swallow the pills next to you. If you didn’t, you’d eventually gag on the water, and that wasn’t really a pretty sight to see. It was a miracle that you could even work as a hostess, especially on the graveyard shift, because it was taking every ounce of your willpower not to throw up at even the most tamest memories—a sleepy child with food flying out of their mouth, or a costumer shouting about how ‘insane’ you were when you had only gotten through your second advil of the day. It wasn’t enough, clearly, because if it had been, you wouldn’t be holed up in your dark room like a vampire with chronic pain.
One knock on your window jolts you from your ibuprofen-fueled haze. Two knocks. Three knocks—god, who doesn’t have patience in this stupid city? Not everyone can be a metahuman that travels at the speed of sound.
You open your window, head still pulsing, but all thoughts of another cup of mildly sweetened honey tea dissipates when the Red Hood smoothly slides into your living room/kitchen (it’s Gotham! Rent may be low, but you are poor as hell), removes his helmet, and shakes his head like a wet dog, the domino mask he was wearing underneath somehow not falling off. He shoots you a crooked grin before plopping himself on your couch, resting his legs on your coffee table.
“Shoes off,” you grumble. “And for the millionth time, I have a door for a reason. And I put food on that table, and I don’t want to see your nasty feet on it.” While other people might be a bit more reserved when talking to a Bowery drug lord, you had never given yourself the same boundaries. He’d crashed into your apartment when he was injured one night a few months ago, and since then, the Red Hood swore to one, pay off your window, and two, make sure you were safe. In his words, it was the best way to repay you for saving his life—even though you didn’t really do anything of the sort. Basic stitches that you learnt in high school, because that was what they taught when a vigilante could collapse in your house due to blood loss any minute in Gotham.
“Woah…” he raises his hands up in mock surrender, his eyes glinting with mirth. “What’s wrong? Rough shift?”
He can always tell, and you’ve decided to refrain against trying to lie to the only crime lord that you’ll likely ever be friend with, unless the Penguin unexpectedly decides to lumber up your fire escape. (Hood’s gotten you a spiked baseball bat for occasions like that, because you complained about any firearms). A pang of pain from you head. Mental note, put out the candle, no wicks. Darken the room even more, try and fail to go to sleep. You have your second job in the morning tomorrow. Mental note, take a melatonin if you can’t sleep, pack a few pills of ibuprofen and acetaminophen if you can’t get through your morning shift. It’s two AM right now, you could still get three hours of sleep if you—
A rough, calloused hand gently caresses your cheek, sending a tingling sensation down your jawline, all the way down to the base of your spine. Okay, woah. “Take a deep breath, baby.” Hood’s deep, gravelly voice shakes your from your stupor. Oh. You were slipping back into your anxiety induced panic attacks, and you hadn’t even noticed. You take one deep breath, but instead of feeling like you’re stuffing an oversized pillow into a kid sized cover, you’re at ease, letting fresh air flow into your lungs.
“How you doin’ tonight, huh baby? I saw your kitchen light on, thought I’d stop by.” Red Hood rubs a simple circle pattern into your back, letting you lean onto him.
“I bet…” you take a shallow breath. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
A smile cracks through onto his face. “Nah, baby, just you. All the girls have nothing on you, baby. You want to tell me about your day?”
Maybe it was just his voice, but you were almost immediately more at ease than you wee moments ago. Red Hood would’ve had a great calling as a therapist, or even a guidance counselor, but you weren’t sure that he’d like it if you called him, arguably the most fearsome man in Gotham, a service worker. Men were weird that way.
“C-can you talk to me, Hood? I don’t know… you have a nice voice, I guess. Makes me feel safe.”
You could swear that you heard his voice crack before he cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah, I can do that. So… I guess I didn’t do much today. Oh! This one sleaze-bag was trying to rob this eighth grader, and I’d never seen this old guy, okay? The kid, his name’s James, he immediately just swings his backpack at him. And I come in, this dude’s already gotten a broken nose…”
He keeps talking about the unexpected things that happened during his day, but your eyes are just trained on Hood. His sharp jaw, his toned arms, his hair and the decent-sized white streak that runs through it, his soft lips and the J scar that covered his left cheekbone, and you wondered what it would be like to know him without the mask on. Would he still be the same, sweet guy that you knew?
In a sudden moment of courage, you take Hood’s hand and squeeze it, your heart pounding nervously against your ribcage. “Thank you, Hood.” You whisper. “I don’t know… I don’t know what I would be done if you weren’t here. I’d probably be still having a killer headache right now.”
He smiles, something that you’ve been seeing him do a lot more often than he’s known for. Red Hood, vigilante, drug lord, crime boss? Nowhere to be seen. You try your hardest to gaze past the white lenses over his eyes, concealing his eye color.
“Jay,” he mutters softly, soft enough that if you hadn’t been sitting so close, you wouldn’t have been able to hear a word that he said. “Call me Jay.”
The head comes come back sometimes, but you usually tend to ignore the headaches after a dose of acetaminophen and a head massage from who might be the world’s best vigilante, Jay. You may not know his full name yet, but you know his heart, and under all that armor, under the Red Hood, is a man with a heart of gold.
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please please please let me know if i got anything wrong so i can edit it!
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chocolilies · 3 months ago
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─── RING. ꒱
( ୨ৎ. gojo satoru x fem!reader. . .ᐟ
despite wishing he could, gojo isn't always there when you get hit on. which leads to him having to take measures to lay his claim.
◟ꪆ୧ sfw, bimbo-y reader, sort of loser gojo in the way that he's whipped for his gf and loves spoiling her. no use of y/n. my first time writing for gojo and my first work on this blog!!
w.c : 1.3k.
also on ao3!
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“you’re so so so so sweet, ‘toru!” you clung to your boyfriend as he pressed kisses to your flushed cheeks, staring at the golden band he’d previously slipped onto your ring finger, trying to focus on the marksmanship as he continued to pepper your face in kisses.
“it’s nothing, baby,” gojo cooed, squeezing your side as you continued to admire the jewelry, “it’s pretty, right?”
“the prettiest!” you giggled, moving your body to wrap your arms around his shoulders, pressing his face into your neck so he could continue kissing you there. “it looks really expensive, though…”
gojo could hear your pout as you spoke, briefly stopping his kisses to rest his head on your shoulder, feeling your arm move away from him as you no doubt took another look at the ring.
“baby, it was nothing,” gojo sighed, rubbing his thumbs into your hips soothingly as you let out a huff, “nothing’s too expensive for you."
he wasn't lying. if gojo had wanted to, he would've bought out the whole jewelry store, but he didn't.
why? because you’d probably complain about it being “too much” for someone like you, unaware that if you were to ask gojo for the moon, he’d somehow find a way to bring it down just for you.
“hmph, i guess…” you huffed, letting yourself be moved as gojo ushered you both towards the sofa, helping you sit down carefully before kneeling on the ground, resting his head on your lap.
gojo sighed happily as your fingers immediately found their place in his hair, shivering in delight as your nails scratched at his scalp and tugged at his hair, his own hands finding their place on your plush thighs.
“you’re so sweet to me, ‘toru,” you cooed softly, leaning down to make sure he heard, “y’always get me the prettiest things.”
you were right.
gojo took pride in knowing that half your wardrobe and accessories were all bought by him, and even if that wasn't obvious to anyone but you, you never failed to make it so to everyone else by reminding your coworkers, friends, students or even strangers, whenever he gifted you something new.
which is exactly what he counted on happening with his latest present.
now firstly, gojo had no problem with the clothes you wore, hell, like mentioned, he'd bought half of your wardrobe for you, but he knew that some more specific items could be considered… revealing.
he, for one, loved it.
but he knew he wasn't the only one who did.
men would sometimes stop and stare at you, asking you for your socials in front of students and even himself if they were tough enough, but one mention of the boyfriend and a point in his direction would usually derail their pathetic flirting attempts, but sometimes… it didn't.
sometimes, gojo wasn't around when you got flirted with or just couldn't accompany you to the places you and many pervs frequented, and was forced to listen to you laugh about the men who approached you.
and that, had recently unfortunately happened.
normally, gojo wasn’t one to get jealous or possessive, since there was normally no reason to do so (i mean, look at him), but he just had to get this guy off his back and out of his mind.
“awe, look ‘toru! that nice guy gave me an extra cake!”
gojo watched as you pulled out the groceries, revealing three pastries instead of the two you'd both agreed on getting.
“nice guy?” he said with a confused look as he placed down the rest of the bags he'd helped you carry up.
“yeah! told me i looked pretty and complimented the hoops you got me!” you giggled, placing the cakes in the fridge before turning back around with a smile. “guess he was just in a giving mood.”
oh, that guy wanted to give you something alright.
ever since then, each time you came from the bakery, you came bearing gifts. be it an extra cake or a free cookie, you always had something. which of course... didn't sit right with him. he'd knew soon enough that you'd get disappointed when that perv revealed his true intentions, and that pissed him off to no end.
gojo thought back on that memory bitterly, though he couldn't let himself get too caught up in his misery when he had your fingers combing through his hair and his face squished against your thighs.
“you gon’ show that off for me, baby?” gojo murmured, voice muffled by the way he was deflating in your hold, heart fluttering as you let out a giggle.
“of course i will! it's too pretty not to!” you squealed, squirming out of excitement at the idea of boasting about your new possession, as small as it might be.
gojo grinned at the idea of poor nanami and shoko, as they would no doubt be the first ones you'd show the moment you got to work tomorrow, but that grin got even wider as he thought about who you would show later.
“you're going past that bakery tomorrow, right?” gojo hummed, running his fingers up your thighs and smiling as you squirmed with a giggle.
“yeah! you want me to get some of those cakes we got last time?” you asked, leaning back on the sofa with a smile at the thought of the sweets you'd treated yourself to for the past few months.
gojo knew you were a tiny bit of an airhead at times, but he could never hold that against you. it was part of your personality, part of you, and he loved that. plus… it sometimes came in handy.
“perfect.” gojo leaned up from his kneeling position, pressing his lips to yours with a hum and a weird passion you hadn't felt before, but as he pressed you down against the sofa’s cushions with a thigh between your legs, you couldn't find anything to complain about.
by the way shoko glared at him when he passed her in the school's hall, he knew you'd kept your promise from last night, which meant he had something to look forward to when he got back home.
“hey, we didn't get anything extra this time…” you pouted as you pulled the treats out of the bag, placing exactly two cakes down on the counter.
“huh? how so?” gojo slid in behind you before wrapping his arms around your waist, perching his chin on your shoulder as you unpacked the sweets, pressing kisses against your cheek. “was it the same guy?”
“yeah…” you mumbled, looking at the receipt as if you would find an extra free item listed on there that the perv who'd served you forgot to place in the bag. “that's strange… thought we'd get lucky again…”
“was he rude to you, baby?” he acted offended as if he didn't know what happened, moving to press sloppy kisses to your exposed shoulder and neck as you talked.
“no! he was sweet like before… asked me how my day was and complimented my jewelry again…” you whined, extending your ringed hand in front of you and staring down at the golden band. “even showed off my ring…”
bingo.
“hmph. maybe he just didn't feel like giving today, baby. you upset?”
a few seconds passed before you shrugged, turning around in his grip and staring up at him with a smile. “why would i? couldn't even finish that third cake before, remember? plus, i’m happy! got to show off my ring all day!”
god, he was obsessed with you.
you giggled as he leaned down to kiss you without a second thought, giggling against his lips as he pulled you up to sit on the counter.
as he continued to kiss you, he felt your fingers find their place in his hair again, feeling the cold metal of the ring against his scalp, an action he barely noticed.
after all, a ring was something tiny.
something any man could disregard if they were too busy staring at your pretty face.
maybe his next gift should be a necklace with his initials. that would send a clearer message than a tiny ring.
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roseykat · 1 year ago
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TITLE: Venom Biter
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PAIRING: Minho x reader
SUMMARY: The end of a relationship between you and Minho turns as sour as it could ever get. A lovers to enemies trope.
WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won't be able to regulate every single interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work or page whatsoever.
TAGS: breakups, hate sex, post-breakup sex, unprotected sex, swearing, angst, manhandling, push and shove, spitting, choking, oral sex (f!reader receiving), angst, strong hints of degradation, use of degrading names such as 'slut' and 'whore'.
A/N: this was originally meant to be for one of the days I had planned for Kinktober but I was up to my neck in work and I didn't want to post something sort of half-assed so I had to hone down on most of the work for this piece.
MASTERLIST
“Broke up?” Chan’s eyes refuse to blink. “You two broke up!?”
His confused filled stare shoots for the direction of his best friend, Minho, who quietly sits opposite him across the table. He looks slightly withdrawn or…off colour. It can’t have been the gruelling two hour lecture they finished before heading out to lunch. If it were that, Minho would be complaining his head off saying how boring it was or cursing himself for not changing his minor earlier. 
He’s just not his usual self. In other social settings, he could talk until the cows came home. But the entire hour that they’ve spent together at lunch, Chan has been doing all the conversing and only receiving vague one-word answers. It wasn’t until he asked what was up with Minho that his friend dished out the news that he and his girlfriend - you, had split up.
“Why?” Chan proceeds, still swimming in shock.
A sigh leaves Minho’s mouth. He truly doesn’t feel like revisiting this subject. When he even thinks about the answer, all he can recall is the firey shouting match you both had the day things crumbled. 
“It’s messy,” he replies with a cloudy and ambiguous answer. 
“If you talk about it, then it might help you make sense of it all.”
He groans this time, “I really, really don’t want to do that. What’s done is done.” 
“Done?” Chan questions, still not letting up on an interrogation. “You were in a relationship with Y/N, for years. You guys talked about a whole future together. That’s not something you just sweep under the rug and forget about.”
If there’s one thing he almost did forget about, it’s that you were friends with him - not just Chan, but the seven others as well. After all, it was Minho who introduced you to those select people whom he calls his brothers. They would’ve found out eventually if Minho refrained from telling them who you were dating all those years ago.
Though naturally, you became very close with them. 
“We’ve both chosen to do that so there’s nothing really much left to dispute.”
Chan’s eyebrows furrow, realising he left out a crucial question to the situation, “why did you guys break up in the first place?”
Minho feels like he’s going to run out of sighs, “she doesn’t love me anymore and I don’t love her anymore. That’s literally all there is to it.” 
“You’re telling me you both fell out of love - at the same time,” Chan responds, still having a difficult time trying to comprehend his friend's situation.
“Pretty much,” Minho confirms with a nod. 
Chan finds that extremely hard to believe from his friend - the very person who would enter a different realm whenever he was in a five centimetre radius of you. His eyes would glaze over as if he were possessed; always fixated on you, he’d smile more than he usually would, and was comfortable in the space around you. 
There had to be another reason, surely. 
But it had almost been three weeks since Chan dissected the news out of Minho, and it was almost like pulling teeth trying to dive for the details. Each attempt was as fruitless as the next and in the end, Chan just plucked the same answers.
Regardless, it seemed to play out better than expected. Minho saved himself from having to dish out explanations as to why you wouldn’t be around anymore. As a result, telling Chan was the best option and since the others didn’t know, Minho was okay with him telling them so that he didn’t have to. 
In saying that, Minho left out very central details of what happened leading up to the breakup. He never mentioned the constant fighting, the lying, the false accusations, the shouting matches, up until the point where you were both swimming in the toxicity the pair of you created. 
He also absconded from the fact to Chan that not only did you both separate, but you’ve also both come to view the other differently and not through a good lens. Minho shouted it in your face the other day to which you did the same; “I hate you.” And that was that.
But his friends probably didn’t need to know all of that. 
Since that day, you’ve been in the process of trying to find an apartment for yourself which isn’t easy. You want to remain in town and not too far out so that you don’t have a long commute to work, and at the same time, you don't want to break the bank trying to find a nice place to rent in the city. All in all, it was tough, but you were ready to just leave. 
Having packed up the majority of your stuff in boxes, all you had to do was wait for landlords to contact you back about possible vacant apartments. Thankfully Minho was lenient in allowing you to stay until you found a place. 
You slept in the spare room, mainly keeping to yourself and the boxes of things surrounding the space. Occasionally you would have to lock yourself in there and throw on some noise-cancelling headphones whenever Minho brought around another woman to sleep with.
It was his house, you knew that and now that you have no ties to him and he’s letting you stay, it was never your place to question his actions. 
Still, that could never lessen the hurt. It was painful which is why you hated him so much. You don’t know how a person could move on so quickly after so many years of being told how much you’re loved. It was like he never meant it. With that being said, when you eventually managed to find a decent place, you were free from Minho. 
All of your items were ready to be moved out, taking a couple of days to actually get them to your new place. In the tiring process, you also had to factor in your work schedule which meant it would take longer to continue moving your stuff. Nonetheless, you had the majority of your boxes out of Minho's house with only a few remaining that you needed to swing by and pick up.
"Something wrong?" he wears a blank look on his face when you arrive on the doorstep to his house.
"Some of my stuff is still here, can I come in to grab it please?" You ask politely. He gives a silent answer in return by opening his door wider for you to walk in before he goes back to whatever it was he was doing.
You make your way into the spare room where the last of your things remain, but there is one odd detail you notice as you approach the items. What was supposed to be taped down lids to the boxes had in fact been opened; not in the state you had originally left it in. 
"Minho," you call out, hoping he heard you.
Sure enough, he did. Minho walks into the spare room with a puzzled expression, wondering why he's been summoned, "what?"
“Why are these open?” You ask, lifting one box off of the other to check if the rest were open as well. “Half of my stuff isn’t in here.”  
“You were coming back for those?” he replies with a question. 
“What the hell else would I be coming back here for?” 
“That's what I thought when you got here,” he says. “I thought it was for other things that you left behind, not ones in these boxes."
Your eyes never leave his face, tracking any sudden shifts in his muscles to try to figure out if he’s actually telling the truth or not. Even though you and Minho aren’t together, you're sure he wouldn't do anything malicious out of spite.
“So why is half my stuff missing?” 
Minho pinches the bridge of his nose, “I thought you didn’t need any of it and that you left it here on purpose for me to deal with or throw out.” 
“So what…” you trail off, expecting his answer. Minho hesitates for a few moments, sitting on the fence about whether he should actually tell you or not. But the least he can do right now is be honest. 
“I told the…girl I bought around the other day that if she wanted anything-“ 
“No you fucking didn’t.” 
“-she could have whatever was left in the boxes,” Minho finishes the rest of his sentence which would’ve been better for you not to hear. 
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you for leaving them behind in the first place!” Minho argues back, trying to defend himself here even though he knows he’s in the wrong. “You were gone for a few days Y/N, I thought you just left!” 
“I never left them behind! I told you how long it was going to take my things to move!” You shout at him, tears brimming your eyes. “Now my stuff…”
The hurt genuinely sets in. Minho feels a sharp stab of pain in his chest when he sees how visibly upset you are. He knows that he’s been nothing short of a dickhead within the past month and now he’s gone and made things worse. It’s no point in him now to say that it was an honest mistake.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know, truly.”
You shove him backwards into the dresser, knocking down some of the empty photo frames that were once homes for pictures of you and Minho, “you’re not sorry. You’re the fucking worst.”
Taken aback by your actions, Minho turns behind him to see the frames flat on the surface then looks back at you, “seriously Y/N, I would not have done that out of spite.”
“But it’s the fact that you still did it!” You raise your voice at him and shove him back again. “You didn’t bother calling or texting me about it when you should’ve!” 
Minho predicts your next move and catches your arms to stop you from pushing him back impossibly further into the dresser. He shoves you back, the back of your knees hitting the edge of the bed which causes you to land on it behind you.
Before the surprise kicks in, Minho is kneeling on top of you, nearly straddling your lower half as he starts pinning your arms to the side of your head. Yet with a split second of momentum to break free, you struggle but manage to flip the tables and pin Minho on his back. 
You mount his hips before your mouth comes down to kiss Minho so aggressively that it takes him a moment to react. With any other woman that he’s slept with so far, he would allow them to be on top. But because it’s you, and supposedly hates your guts, not to mention his untapped pride, it’s not going to happen. So Minho fights back, kissing and biting nearly every part of your upper body in the process until you’re under him. 
He sucks large, deep, red hickies into the skin of your neck, in places where everyone would be able to see them. Minho would want people to know that you’re just a whore he uses. Especially for the next guy you sleep with who would go down on you and see the myriad of hickies that Minho would eventually put between your thighs when he rips your pants down. 
“Wanna play this fucking game with me,” he rasps before yanking down your off. 
Despite being a dickhead Minho will still eat you out for prep. But it’s not soft and teasing when he does go down on you. It’s tongue and finger fucking you until you’re dizzy from how hard you’re about to cum. It gives you the opportunity to pull and tug on his hair until his scalp starts burning, forcing you to be as vocal as you’ve ever been. 
His fingers curl up into that sensitive spot while his tongue and mouth work simultaneously. He’s always been good at giving head, but unusually better now that he’s relatively angry. In the back of your mind, you supposed it helped having not slept with anyone for a month, making it easier to reach that peak of delicious, eye-rolling ecstasy. 
“Fuck!” you scream out, voice projecting throughout the room as Minho sucks on your clit. “Fuck you…you’re gonna make me cum.” 
Those words are something Minho could never get tired of hearing you say. Even in the headspace that he’s in now, he wants nothing more than to hear how good he’s making your body feel. However, he doesn’t need verbal confirmation from you to know that you’re about to cum. When your walls seize and clamp around his fingers, when you’re trembling around his head, Minho knows what that means. 
The quick drag of his fingers is only light work for him, pumping at a pace that has you panting to try and keep up with it. As a result, it’s not long before Minho brings you to your sweet release; a toe-curling burst of euphoria that has you silently creaming around his fingers. 
He has no patience for you to descend from your orgasm, sucking his fingers clean as he pulls away from your pussy. He gets to unbuckling his belt faster than he can even comprehend that this is still happening. 
“H-Hurry,” you whine, trying to quell the hunger for Minho’s cock while you wait.
His eyes squeeze shut, hissing as he coats his length with your slick, “shut the fuck up.”
Despite being in a haze post-orgasm, you manage to sit up quickly to turn and push Minho down by his shoulders. You find yourself straddling his hips once more, reaching down and behind for his cock, aligning it with your hole. Minho allows you to work for it yourself, watching his cock vanish by the second as you sink down. 
“Mmm…f-fuck,,” you whine, unable to come to grips with how much you miss him filling you out. 
Taking a couple of slow strokes up and down allows you to realise that never in your wildest dreams could you ever imagine hate sex with Minho would be this…rough. Both of you pushing, shoving, and manhandling each other around, speaking to each other with such disregard for the other person's feelings – beyond the point of degradation.
“Come on,” Minho grunts, fingernails embedding themselves into your hips so that the indents remaining become as equally as vibrant as the hickies blooming on your neck. 
You look down at him with disgust before your hand lowers to his throat, choking him out by the sides of his neck. That familiar feeling of restriction to Minho forces him to repress his sick enjoyment of it, even more so when you start really riding him. 
“Fuck you,” you strain out, trying to assert some degree of control even though you’re battling with oversensitivity from your previous orgasm. 
You slam your hips down repeatedly, building up a good pace and rhythm that’s enough for small moans to force their way out of your mouth. With a cock like Minho’s, it’s impossible to keep quiet no matter how much you try. However, as you work for your own orgasm, you don’t want to give him any satisfaction by making him think that he’s the one doing it; yet in reality, he is. 
Nonetheless, you continue to use him just as much as he’s using you until the luxury of pleasure accelerates in the pit of your stomach. In saying that, it doesn’t take long for Minho to find that information out as you continue to ride him. The observation is clear-cut;
“Nobody’s fucked you since me haven’t they?” He asks you breathlessly, watching you roll your hips deliciously over his cock. “Know how I can tell? Because you keep fucking clenching around my dick.”
Your eyebrows furrow, struggling to find an answer for him because he is right and that’s not your fault, “s-so what? Want me to stop?” 
“Didn’t say that, did I?” He argues back, too proud to say ‘no’. “Just…just keep moving.”
A firm hand of yours catches his taut jaw, and while his mouth is open, you lean down and spit right in it. 
You curse right at him, “fuck you.” 
His eyes lock with yours and for a moment, Minho is shocked, but not in a bad way. In that moment you despised him so much that he made you do something a normal person would find disgusting. Although it’s not long before a sick smirk spreads across his face, failing to pretend as if he didn’t just enjoy that, swallowing it back. 
“Course you’d be into that you fucking whore,” he rasps, his body jolting every time your hips slam down. 
“I’m not the whore who’s taking it,” you snipe back at him. 
Your comment riles Minho, resulting in him nearly bucking you off his body before flipping you onto your stomach. He yanks both of your hands behind your back as something for him to latch onto when he pushes his cock back into you, and starts fucking hard and fast. 
“Yes, yes, yes, fuck…” you whimper, eyes fluttering shut. 
The new angle makes his dick slip in just that extra bit deeper, achieving a sensation which you miss all too much. With the amount of relentlessness that Minho puts behind his thrusts is nothing but a fast, brutal, and unforgiving type of fucking. He’s not holding back with you, no matter how much you hate him and he hates you, he will fuck you to tears.
“Such a fucking slut,” he drives forward nastily. “Needy, loud, slut.” 
Your choked moans and whimpers are typical responses to hearing him call you that name again. In bed, if you weren’t his lover, you were his slut. Minho wouldn’t care less if the bed broke beneath him trying to fuck you like the whore you always wanted him to treat you as. But it was phenomenal.  
Now, that’s only a distant memory clawing to come back. 
“Make me cum…make me fucking cum,” you demand, acknowledging how close you are to the cliff of ecstasy.
Minho's breathing picks up from hearing the pure desperation in your voice, and so does his pace. His only release is not but a minute away, respecting that and also his motive to continue rearranging your guts. 
Yet the possibility of keeping up any longer draws to a short term. Minho’s hold on your wrists behind your back becomes a solid death grip with no chance of escape until the wet heat from your pussy has his hips jumping out of rhythm. 
His head tilts to the sky, the pleasure screaming at him from the base of his cock, “y-yes, fuck I'm cumming.”
At that very instant, Minho’s release rocks him over. His hands let go of yours in lieu of grabbing onto your ass instead. The pain and sting of his fingernails scraping deep into your flash forces strained whimpers and mewls from your throat, helping to push you over the verge of your second orgasm. 
“Y-Yes, cumming, oh fuck-” you cry out with a shaky voice, stiffening while your hole seizes rhythmically around Minho’s length. 
The pleasure is throat-gripping, making you forget the words to express how good you feel. Except, in the vapour of your orgasmic haze, you still don't want to accept the fact that it's Minho who makes you feel that way.
He pauses for a moment then thrusts hard back into you, making you keep the warm load that you were so undeservingly given, regardless if your walls are spasming and contracting it out. Then just as he was fast to try to get inside you, he's just as fast when he pulls out and flops beside you.
The air in the room becomes breathable again now that your heart rate isn't racing to the heavens, but picks back up quickly when you decide to hop off the bed and get dressed. You couldn't care less if you were sore and unbalanced. The thought of staying in the room with Minho any longer was suffocating.
“About your stuff,” he starts, filling the silent void with an exasperated voice. “I’ll try to get it back.” 
You zip your jeans up, “don’t bother. I know you did give it away for whatever reason, but for what reason is something I’m betting you’ll take to the grave with you.” 
Minho is up and now following suit by putting his clothes on. If now is the time to get one thing off of his chest, it’s now. Since the day you both separated, there has been no proper conversation. Both of you are too stubborn to admit wrongs and fix rights, but in your eyes, it's too far gone. There’s no going back to a good thing that was once more. 
"I won't if we can just talk it out," he offers the opportunity to you.
“Minho, the nights that I had to listen to you fuck someone else in the next room right after we just broke up was a clear sign that we did not need to talk it out. All it made me do is realise that you didn't actually love me."
“That’s not true,” he shakes his head as you hear a twinge of desperation in his voice like he's pleading his case. "That's not true at all."
"It is though," you correct him. "You were free to sleep with whoever you wanted to because we had broken up at that point, but not a day after that did you wait."
Minho follows through with his explanation, “I was trying to get you out of my head. Spending too long just thinking about you makes me want to lose it. It didn't mean that I never loved you before."
“So you’re just going to continue being delusional? To fuck your way through trying to forget me?” You question, nearly laughing. "I honestly think you're just being pathetic."
He shrugs, “if it means that I don’t have to feel heartbreak, then yes.”
Part of you gets it. Minho’s found a vice and is using it as a tool to deal with his pain. But you’re in pain too, and you haven’t done anything to upset him ever since you split. Maybe it is as bad for him as he says it is. Maybe he doesn’t truly know how to navigate himself out of this like you’re attempting to.
It’s almost a rebuttal to your statement about whether he truly loved you or not; if he’s using other people to drive the thought of you out of his brain because it’s too painful to deal with, then maybe you were more than just a lover to him. 
"I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I cannot stand being around you anymore because of how much it hurts to know that you're not actually with me. I'd rather try to forget your existence in order to not feel that type of heartbreak," Minho explains, his words coming from a place inside him that must've just opened up.
But he continues, "the second we split, I needed every last memory of you out of this house. But I know that this hurts you too and that this past month I’ve hurt you and that’s no justification to say that my reason is because you mean more than my entire life.”
There’s an ache in your chest that you’ve never felt before, a blend of all the emotional pain that could’ve been prevented had the two of you just talked. But that ache is fuelled by the fact that you can hear the waiver in Minho’s voice, and even though his back is still turned to you while he sits on the edge of the bed, you’re sure he’s crying.
-
A/N: Dare I say that I want to make a part 2 to this where Minho and reader try to rekindle, things are pretty tender but they sort of want to make it work...
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icarusredwings · 3 months ago
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Getting deep into the x men fandom means seeing ships I don't agree with, so I don't interact, seeing posts that mischaraterizes one of the deepest charaters possible, so I don't interact, Seeing people actively say things that are blatantly wrong, so I don't interact.
Getting a large following is also kind of frustrating (Im not complaining I love you guys!) But I've had to block 2 people already today because they keep leaving rude replies to my comments on OTHER peoples posts or purposly come to my blog to tell me that how I view a charater is wrong. Had someone tell me that the stuff that happens in MY au is dumb because "that would never happen" like yeah bud. The writers at Marvel are too much of cowards for it to happen, hence why i'm here.
So my thing is... if im chosing not to interact with all of this- why is it still on my feed?
I feel like the more I ignore it the more I see and I do not wish to be the type to block someone simply because they make one post about a ship that personally isn't my cup of tea.
Also- I think Im starting to see the different sides of extremes, especially when it comes to one specifc charater.
Logan.
I have seen dozens of lovely stories, lovely rants, lovely head canons about this man-
But something that feels weird (to me at least) is people who are 45+ yelling at people who aren't even 18 that their story/headcanons are trash because they've "been enjoying Logan for 40+ years" as if this gives them any right to tell a 17 year old that they shouldnt write a charater how they see them.
It's also weird to me that there seems to be two sides.
Logan IS an animal and that's perfectly okay.
Or
Logan ISN'T an animal, and everyone who headcanons him as animalistic is fetishizing his mutation and are insulting him.
I get not liking a certain trope, but sir, that person is young enough to be your child. You have to accept that we all grew up with different versions of each charater. I Personally didn't grow up with any and get the luxury of indulging in all sorts of media all at once- therefore getting to see him from multiple sides and pictures.
I completely understand if you grew up with the original series and are upset to see that kids are headcanoning your stone cold angst biker man as wearing bow clips and 'making biscuits' on a pillow while watching gilmore girl with his boyfriend, and wearing pink fluffy hello kitty pants and a tight shirt that says "Milk"
I completely understand if you grew up with the movies and see him as a sexy gruff hot buff man and you love to write lots and lots of steamy x reader about him.
I completely understand if you LIKE logan wearing hello kitty pants and don't agree with the idea of him being a dark edgelord, lone wolf charater.
Do you know what I don't understand? Fighting over a charater when different timelines have been canon since the 80s. The Time Variance Authority (TVA) first appeared in Thor #372 (October 1986) which means ALL of your logans are the correct logan. Just not all the same.
Do I think Wolverine Orgins Logan would wear pink hello kitty pants? Nah.
Do I know that Deadpool and wolverine Logan is a whole different universe then Orgins Logan? Yes.
That's why people tag different logans and different aus. So what is all the fuss about?? What happened to the more the merrier?
Theres so many different versions of comic book logan, too, so don't even go there.
Feel free to ask my personal opinions but as far as I stand I could never be foolish enough to seriously go into someone elses post and genuinely be upset at them for how they perceive a charater. I get second hand embaressment when ever I see ANYONE doing it.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk. I don't care if I lose followers for this. Let the door hit you on the way out. There aint no reason to be harrassing folks.
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ballroamblitz · 1 year ago
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caramel pie | J.P
summary: james smells caramel pie on the amortentia potion
james potter x fem!reader
word count: 3.750 content: teeth rotting fluff, angst warnings: crying, reader blushes notes: one thing about me is i love me some amortentia fic with a side of james fluff ughh also i listened to glue song by beabadoobee while writing this :) p.s i accidentally posted this on my side acc so if anyone wanna be mutuals my main blog is @beastofbrden :)
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- Someone please, kindly remind me why I decided that continuing Herbology after the O.W.Ls was a good idea? - Y/N huffed out, sitting at the Gryffindor table for lunch.
The four boys sitting around her laughed. 
- Learned a lot today, uh? - Sirius asked, ironically. 
- Oh yeah, loads! We had to feed toad flesh to those terrible toad-eating plants. For some reason, mine just didn't feel like eating it without regurgitating it all back on me! 
The boys went hysterics, and even the girl couldn't help but laugh along. 
- There's still a little piece there - James pointed. - Here, let me take it out for you.
He took out a small chunk of toad flesh off her hair. 
- Well, may I remind you, Y/N, that no one told you to keep up with Herbology. We all dipped from it while we could and no one else has pieces of toad on our hair - Sirius noted, clearly getting a good laugh out of the girl's toad disaster.
- I just didn't want to hurt Sprout's feelings! 
She sighed and brushed her hair with her fingers, only then looking at the food in front of her.
- Merlin, I'm starving! Could eat anything right now.
- Even toad? - Remus joked, sending the group on another laughing crisis.
By the time of dessert, Y/N started scanning the table for something. Clearly not finding it, her panic started showing. 
- Oh no. Where's the caramel pie? 
- They didn't serve any today - James replied, needing all the strength on his body to stay deadpanned. The other three boys were deep in conversation, and him being the one sitting closer to Y/N (as always) only he noticed the girl's agitation. 
- What??? What do you mean they didn't serve any? In the six years I've been here they never not served it and I can't believe they chose today to…
- I'm just joking - James pulled a plate that was hidden behind the steak pudding, smiling playfully at the girl - Saved it for ya.
- James! I would go mad if they stopped serving this pie, y'know! - she let out a relieved breath. 
- Nah, don't worry. They will keep serving it, or I would fight the elfs for ya. 
- One day I’ll hide your figgy pudding, then we’ll see.
- You wouldn’t dare, missy.
James watched with a soft look on his eyes as the girl took the first bite of her favorite dessert.
- Thank you for saving me a piece, Jamie - she leaned her head on his shoulder for a moment to show gratitude. When she got closer, he smelled the vanilla scent of her hair and the caramel pie on her lips.
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After lunch, the five went straight to Slughorn's classroom. 
- Good evening, dears, good evening! Now if you could get up and get closer, I want to show you something!
The whole class shifted near the table Slughorn was sitting behind. 
- Here, we have a very special potion. - He pointed towards a bubbling caldron full of a crystal clear liquid - Very tricky to make, very characteristic and perhaps one of the most dangerous we can brew. Can anyone tell me it's name?
Y/N's hand rose in the air.
- Yes, ms. Y/L/N. 
- It's Amortentia, or simply the love potion. Since true love can't really be produced by any sort of magic, it causes more of a crush or an obsession. 
- Correct. Ten points to Gryffindor! - Slughorn smiled.
- Nerd - James whispered,  messing up Y/N’s hair.
- Sod off, Potter.
- You see, one of the most intriguing things about Amortentia is its scent. Everyone smells something different, because its scent is completely dependent on what each person feels personally attracted to. Now, who wants to come forward and tell me what it smells like? 
No one volunteered. No wonder, since it's a very particular thing to simply say in front of a whole classroom.
- No one? I'll pick someone then. Let me think... - Slughorn scanned the faces around. - Ah! Mr. Potter, you will do. 
James was caught by surprise. He had been distracted by the warmth radiating off Y/N, that was almost resting her head on his chest. 
- Me? - he asked and pointed towards himself.
- Of course you! Is there any other Mr. Potter?
The whole class laughed as James stepped closer, his signature boyish grin splashed on his face. 
- Now Mr. Potter, lean in and smell the potion.
James ran his hands through his hair and did as told. One single sniff and his smile fell off his face completely. The scent was unmistakable: vanilla and caramel pie. Vanilla body cream, caramel pie for dessert, everyday. He had the urge to see if Y/N wasn't standing next to him, but he knew she hadn't moved from across the table. He knew he had to lie. If he said what it smelled like to him, everyone would know it was Y/N's smell.  
- So, Mr. Potter. Whenever you are ready to share. 
He looked at where Y/N was. She was looking at him, just as well as everyone else. She looked relaxed, the potion's glow making her look specially pretty, angel-like. Think of something, fast. Something not at all related to what you are really smelling, something like...
- It’s wood and broomstick polisher.
- Very well then Mr. Potter. Looks like you've got a thing for Quidditch, uh?
The class laughed, and everyone looked convinced. James Potter, Quidditch captain, smelling broomstick polisher and wood? Fitting. James high-fived himself for his quick thinking, and let out a relieved sight. Now, no one would go around thinking the wrong things. 
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Later that night, in the common room, however, the potions class was almost burning a hole through James' head. Slughorn said Amortentia smelled of what attracted each person the most.  Attraction was romantic, sexual attraction. But Slughorn had been pretty vague, hadn't he? He could've meant attraction in any context. It could mean anything. It could mean platonic love, right? If Slughorn didn't think much of James smelling Quidditch, it probably meant it could smell of anything the person liked a lot, right? But it was a love potion. That caused passion. And Slughorn said he had a thing for Quidditch. A thing. But he didn't have a thing for Y/N! He loved her, of course. Everyone knew she was his best friend, they did everything together and she was probably his favorite person in the world. Yeah, maybe he went to extreme lengths to see her happy, and yeah, maybe he was a bit too affectionate with her, but she was his best friend.
- Can't do homework anymore. - James was ripped off his thoughts by Y/N's presence. She threw her backpack at the ground in front of the sofa he was in and layed down - My brain feels like mush.
James looked at her. Her head was resting on his lap, and she looked extremely comfortable. That was obvious, since they always had been this affectionate towards each other. They both were very touchy people, and it felt natural to be in constant physical contact. James was always happy, eager even, to be like this with her. In a platonic way. Obviously. Today, however, her skin on his felt like it burned. 
- How was it? - James asked, coughing to conceal the way his voice failed a bit in the first word.
- Homework? Awful. It's not that difficult, but it's too much. And it just seems pointless, you know? What will I actually learn from writing 19 inches about toad eating plants? Nothing, I tell you what! - The girl sighed and closed her eyes again - Just wanna go to sleep, really.
He didn't know what to answer. He normally would have made a joke about the plants, added more criticism about essays or something. But he didn’t even do his homework, with how paranoid he was. For the first time ever, he was completely speechless in her presence. Her eyelashes were resting peacefully on her pink cheeks. The light from the fireplace made her skin look more flushed, and her hair had a golden glow to it. She looked awfully pretty. James knew that, of course. She had always been pretty. But tonight.. when she moved her head a little bit, he smelled the amortentia smell. Vanilla and caramel pie, just as strong as it was that afternoon. 
- You are way too quiet today, Jamie. - She opened her eyes and he felt something weird in the pit of his stomach  - Ate too much pudding? 
- Yeah, probably. 
She stretched and yawned, sending another wave of vanilla and caramel pie to James' nostrils. 
- Going to bed - she got up. Her hair was messy and the light from the fireplace behind her looked like a halo. - Night, Jamie.
She lowered herself and pecked his cheek lightly. 
- Sleep well - her soft voice was way too close to his ear, turning James' legs into jelly. 
He watched her going up the stairs to the dormitory, and the place she had kissed burned long after she was gone. 
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He had no reason to be this nervous for the potions class the next morning. Slughorn had already moved on from amortentia, since it was a difficult, dangerous and time-consuming potion to make, but James was half hoping the potion would be brought up again, and half hoping everyone would collectively forget about it completely. Slughorn didn't mention the potion again, moving on directly to Felix Felicis. He watched the whole class on the edge of his seat. He had decided he would ask the teacher about the potion just to calm himself down. Just to make sure. Everyone had been really concentrating on making the best draught of living death the whole period, but James just wanted the class to end so he could ask Slughorn and stop eating himself alive.  
- Alright, alright. Congratulations mr. Snape on your draught. Truly outstanding! - Slughorn said, raising a round of applause - Class dismissed!
Everyone started to gather their backpacks and leave, but James made sure to stay back. He pretended to be very interested in a weird type of algae that Slughorn kept in a little ampoule. Just a few more moments and then he'll say that no, I don't have romantic feelings for Y/N and that i just really like caramel pie or something, and then i'll stop going mental... 
- Gillyweed. - Slughorn’s voice dragged James off of his daydreams 
- Uh? - James frowned in confusion, wondering what the teacher was talking about.
- The algae you're looking at, Mr. Potter. Gillyweed. Helps the person breathe underwater. 
- Oh, yeah, right. Professor Slughorn, I was wondering if I could ask you something.
- Sure, my boy, ask away - Slughorn encouraged while distractingly stacking some parchments.
- I was wondering… about the Amortentia potion.
Slughorn stopped his movements and lifted his eyes directly to James. 
- Oh, I see - He looked very amused, for some reason. - What were you wondering?
- Let's just say a friend of mine smells it and it reminds him of someone. It could smell like someone he just truly cares about, couldn't it? Like, it doesn't necessarily mean he's in love with the person that the scent reminds him of, right? 
Slughorn's lopsided smile grew bigger.
- I'm afraid, no, my boy. 
- What? - James felt like the classroom got three times smaller and hotter by the minute - But I smelled wood and polishing oil, and I'm not in love with a broom, am i? 
- Mr. Potter, Mr. Potter... - Slughorn chuckled. - I think we both know you didn't smell any of that. 
James felt his face getting warm and red. 
- But, if you did, that would mean you have a crush on a Quidditch player, let's just put it like that. Amortentia is a very strong love potion, and we can only smell things in it that romantically attract us very deeply. Those of us that aren't in love with anyone would smell something quite abstract. But if this friend of yours smelled amortentia and recognized the scent as someone's, then boy do I have news for him. Does this answer your question? 
      - Hm, yeah, sure. - James agreed. He felt like he was gonna fall down from the absurd speed at which his mind was racing. - Thank you, Professor.
- Anytime. - James began to leave, completely out of it. - Oh, and Mr. Potter?
- Yes? - James turned around, hopeful that Slughorn would start laughing and admit he was joking.
- Tell your friend I wish him the best of luck with this new, blossoming love. 
As James went out of the classroom and up into the common room, he deeply regretted not stealing that ampoule of gillyweed and swallowing it whole. That way, he could spend the rest of his days in the black lake with the merpeople. I bet amortentia wouldn't smell like anything down there, he thought. 
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For the rest of the week, James spent every waking hour trying to not think about what Slughorn said and what it meant, and he was succeeding. He kept himself busy with classes, Quidditch and even homework. He also did his absolute best to avoid everyone. He ate before anyone else and made sure he was far away from the great hall by the time he knew Y/N and the rest of the Marauders would go down to eat. In classes, he sat very distant and left early. He even pulled some pranks he didn't even feel like pulling on Filch to get detention in the nights he couldn't schedule Quidditch practices. He walked the halls in the invisibility cloak. Anything to keep his thoughts away from the big fire alarm going off inside his head. The only problem was that he missed Y/N in all of those moments. When he was doing homework, he missed the sound of Y/N's pen scratching the parchment next to him. While he ate, he missed the warmth of her body next to his, the satisfaction humming while she ate her pie . He missed laying down together after homework. He missed seeing her on the stands at practice. He even realized that the real fun in pranks wasn't the actual thing, but to see Y/N laughing hysterically afterwards. To put it quite simply, it felt like he was sleep walking all the time. He couldn’t go on avoiding her forever, but what he was gonna do, he had positively no idea.
Until Friday night.
It was late, and he had been in detention. Filch had made him write “I shall not turn the school’s trophies into pigeons” a hundred times, and his hand was hurting from all the repetitive writing. Normally, he would have complained, but this time, he was glad for the distraction. Enjoying detention, he thought bitterly while crossing the fat lady, I must be really going mad. His grouchy thoughts were interrupted by a sound. It sounded like.. crying. Or better yet, it sounded like someone was sobbing their heart out. He looked around the empty common room, but didn’t see anyone. He followed the sound to the sofa near the fireplace, where he and Y/N always rest after studying. Before you turned into a chicken. 
Y/N was laid on the sofa, her face buried in a cushion, her whole body shaking with her sobs. James was flooded with panic.
- Y/N, baby, what happened? - he cooed, his voice altered with anxiety. Y/N never cried, except when something very serious happened.
Y/N looked up like she thought she was seeing visions. 
- Jamie? - her voice was soft and shaky, her eyes were puffy and bloodshot red, like she had been crying for multiple hours. The hurt on her eyes broke James’ heart in a thousand pieces. 
His mind raced with possibilities: maybe someone was mean to her? Maybe someone died? Maybe she was hurt? The thought of her being in pain panicked him even further. He sat down and pushed her into his lap, laying her head on his shoulder. 
- Are you hurt, baby? Where does it hurt? Please, tell me. 
She cried violently on his shoulder. He inspected her legs for bruises, but she seemed well physically. 
- Y/N, tell me what’s wrong, I can’t stand to see you like this - he begged. -  Did someone hurt you?
The question seemed to trigger something on the girl, because suddenly she was on her feet, out of his arms. 
- Did someone hurt me? Seriously? - the tears streamed down her face, but her eyes glimmered with something new: anger.
James was confused, to say the least. He noticed that she was wearing one of his old sweaters, one that had vanished from his suitcase a few weeks ago. 
- Baby...- he begged some more.
She looked as if he had twisted a knife on her wound.
- Don’t you dare “baby” me, James. Not after ignoring me like the plague for a whole week! 
Oh. Oh. James had been so involved with his own confusion regarding the amortentia incident that he forgot almost completely that Y/N didn’t know what he was doing, or why. She was crying because he hurt her feelings. That was a lot worse than if she was crying because of another person: he could’ve gone out to kick said jerk’s ass. But if he hurt her, what was he supposed to do? Punch himself? 
-Y/N - he cooed, apologetically. - Y/N, I…
She showed him her palm, urging him to stop talking.
- You don’t have to explain wanting to be away from me. I’m sure you had your reasons. But you could have at least told me that you wanted some space from me, or something, because I’ve been miserable, and…
She thought he wanted space from her. The sorrowful shaky breath that escaped her lips mid-sentence threw him over the edge. 
- No, no, no… - he repeated while pushing her back into his lap - Oh my god, Y/N, no…
He caressed her hair while she sobbed violently on his shoulder. Her fists were closed tightly on his shirt, her tears dampened his neck, and he couldn’t recall the last time his heart ached this badly.
- Did I do something? Did I bother you? I’m so sorry.. - she whispered softly, like she was voicing what had been repeating in her head over and over again during the last few days. Her words were laced with anger, resentment, but, above all, hurt. He wanted to double over in pain.
- Listen - James lifted her chin up gently, forcing her to look into his eyes. - I’m the one who’s sorry. 
The tears kept coming, but she was listening.
- I shouldn’t have avoided you last week, and it’s not your fault, okay? It’s my fault. I’m the one who got scared. 
She looked confused.
- Scared? Of me? 
James would have to confess what happened at Slughorn’s class. He had given zero thought about his messy feelings, and even though unraveling them in front of Y/N scared him endlessly, he would have to do it, because he could never let her think that he wanted space from her. That he wanted anything but to be close to her, at all times, if he could. 
- Please - she asked, incisively, noticing his wariness. - Tell me.
He took a deep breath, feeling vulnerable, raw. As if he would undress himself fully in front of her.
- Remember Slughorn’s class about amortentia? - Y/N nodded, encouraging him to move on - He asked me to smell it, right, and I…
- You said it smelled like broom polisher. 
- Well, yes. But I lied. - he decided to avert his gaze to the ceiling, or else he would never talk. - It was caramel pie and vanilla cream. So, I smelled… you.
Silence. A moment, two. He couldn’t muster the courage to look at the girl. He felt her hand grazing his cheek, urging him to look at her.. 
- Jamie… - She looked wonderstruck, and his heart seemed like it wanted out of his chest - Really?
- Really.
James was sure he’d never seen something as beautiful as Y/N after his response. She was smiling the biggest, most shiny smile he had ever seen on her face. Her eyes shined like gemstones at him, so soft he wanted to cry.
- Do you want to know what I smelled? - she asked, soft as a feather. 
His heart somersaulted when she brought her face closer to the side of his neck. She whispered on his ear:
- I smelled… - She sniffed his neck once - Sandalwood - another sniff, followed by a chuckle  - Broomstick polisher…
She distanced herself, looking deep into his eyes.
- And homework parchment. And fireplace naps. And figgy pudding.
His heart was hammering against his ribcage. Y/N smelled him. On the amortentia potion. Him.
- Y/N - James whispered, all warm and fuzzy on the inside. - Really?
She didn’t answer, just grabbed his hand, the warmth and softness of her skin overwhelming his senses. Placed his hand on top of the point of her chest where her heart was. Through the fabric of his shirt, he could feel her heart beating faster than a hummingbird's. She never unglued her soft eyes from his. 
She likes him. Suddenly, all the thoughts he had been avoiding throughout the week came crashing down on him, like a dam.
James was an affectionate friend. He liked physical touch. But he never liked it half as much as he did with her. James was a thoughtful friend. He remembered things about his friends. But he remembered every single thing about her. He was a sensitive friend. He hated to see his friends suffering. But every time he saw her cry, it was like his heart was being crushed. James was an attentive friend. He loved spending time with friends. But when he was away from her, he couldn’t even function properly, like he was missing one half of him. Y/N is his best friend. But she is more, too. He loves her. But there’s something else: he is in love.  Amortentia never lies, after all.
When his hands tangled on Y/N’s hair, he smelled vanilla cream. When he kissed Y/N’s lips, he tasted caramel pie.
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transienturl · 2 years ago
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Here are two non-obvious things about the Tumblr UI that I feel like I can make more clear with some images. As of July 17, 2022 2023... oops:
links to posts on blog themes:
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There's a link to view a post on the user's custom blog theme—if they have a custom theme, and have their blog accessible to logged-out users, of course—as the first item in the ⋯ ("meatballs") menu. (This used to be the dog-ear corner at the top right corner of the post, if you remember that.)
Like any normal link, you can control/command click this menu item to open it in a new tab, or right click it to copy the link URL.
links to individual reblogs:
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The header areas highlighted in green here—specifically their empty areas—are links directly to the individual reblogs they're the headers for. This is also true in the mobile apps!
You can control/command click them to open them in a new tab.
You can sort of right-click them to copy the link URL... but only if you have post timestamps turned on (it's in your tumblr settings in the dashboard section near the top), and only if you right click on the timestamp, or actually the dashed green area. (I wish this could be true for the whole header, but it's kind of hard for technical web browser limitation reasons.)
The above statements are true without XKit!
Now: by default, the areas highlighted in red and orange are links to the blogs in question. The "restore links to individual posts" option in Tweaks in XKit Rewritten (check out @addons!) does two things:
It changes the red-highlighted links to point directly to the reblog in question, just like their surrounding green area. This doesn't really add any functionality; you could already access that, as just discussed! Edit: I got this wrong; the reblog trail blog names should not be highlighted red.
It changes the orange-highlighted link to point to the immediately preceding reblog (i.e. the one "prev tags" refers to). This definitely does add functionality, since there was literally no way to step backward through the reblog chain otherwise!
For the record, what I would probably have done if I were Staff or if I had been the one to write the XKit Rewritten tweak without anyone else's input is:
Make the green-highlighted areas link to the reblog, as they currently already do.
Make the red-highlighted links point to the user blog, as they currently already do.
Make the orange-highlighted link, including the reblog icon, link to the immediately preceding reblog (i.e. the one "prev tags" refers to). That section is a different color than a blog link and has a special icon, after all; I think it's totally reasonable for it to have slightly different functionality.
In any case, it imo quite obviously should not be impossible to step back through the reblog chain, no matter what you think of the "prev tags" phenomena. Without an extension, there's no way to do this at all right now unless the post has very few notes and you can dig through them.
Some might argue for solving this by putting the a link to the previous reblog in the ⋯ menu. That would certainly be better than nothing, but I think using the orange-highlighted area is a better way. It's not like it's hard to get to a blog from an individual-post-viewed-on-that-blog, anyway.
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milunalupin · 10 months ago
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hi hi hi! so many congrats on a 100 followers, what a deserved accomplishment, love!!
you can obviously ignore this if you're uncomfortable writing this/or this doesn't hit your creative spot. because this is so cliched uggh.
okay so i was thinking maybe a little grumpy!reader x sunshine!sirius, friends to lovers trope? (it makes so weak in the knees 🫠.) feel free to take the plot literally anywhere your heart desires, because you'll serve either ways!!
love you, make sure to drink water and eat good. hope you have a great day/night ahead.
--🍁autumn
hi hi my love ! thank you for you patience <3 and adding more sirius to my blog
— sunshine
sunshine!sirius x grumpy!reader ★ 1.2k words
"Sirius Black if you don't stop tapping your finger against the table, I will not hesitate to hex you."
You sent a glare towards the raven haired boy from across the table. History of Magic was your worst subject and you had a big exam coming up. "Why aren't you with the other boys anyways?"
It's not like you two weren't friends, but Sirius wasn't usually the one to seek you out. It was usually Peter since he was the one who introduced you to his friends, then Remus who at times also enjoyed his peace and quiet. You spent quite a bit of time with the girls too, especially since you all roomed together. James and Sirius had always been friendly with you, but it wasn't like you would stay up in the common room sharing secrets, although Sirius had recently been around you more than than normal.
"Well aren't you just a ray of light." Sirius sent you a lopsided grin, setting his elbows on the table and resting his head on his hands. "They're out somewhere with Prongs looking for Evans, and I wanted to see my favorite girl."
Your quill froze over the parchment. Sirius was such a flirt, you couldn't take anything he said to you to heart, because he didn't mean it, right? You lowered your head and tried to focus on your notes, pretending like you didn't hear him.
"Anyways," he chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. "You know about his problem with Evans, and you're a girl, could you give me some advice to relay back to him?"
"Thanks for noticing. What kind of advice?"
"Well, what sort of things do girls like to receive?"
"I don't know Sirius, I don't regularly receive gifts from boys." You rolled your eyes and scoffed, glancing up at him to see his eyes on you, waiting for an answer. "but I supposed I would quite like it if someone brought me my favorite drink, or book. You know, it shows that they've paid attention to the little things."
"So how would you- girls-" he let out a shaky laugh, his cheeks tinged pink. "How would girls like to be asked on a date?"
How would you know? You didn't want to speak negatively of yourself but there had to be some reason as to why boys never came up to you. You would never guess that it was because Sirius had already warned the whole male population at Hogwarts to back off his very pretty friend.
Groaning quietly, you rubbed your hands over your tired face. "Sirius, I don't know, can you please let me review my notes in peace?"
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"That doesn't count, you're not being fair." Peter whined, pulling on his hair as he looked down at the chessboard. You shrugged and stuck your tongue out at the boy, getting up and taking a seat on the carpet by the fire next to Lily.
It was the night before your exam and as much as you wanted to hole up in your room and cram, your friends had convinced you to spend time with them. Lily was painting Marlene's fingernails while Remus took your place playing against Peter in chess.
"Who wants hot chocolate!" James called out, Sirius and him walking towards you all with trays of steaming mugs. The two passed out the sweet beverages,
"Thanks Sirius." you thanked him softly, his gaze softening as you wrapped your hands around the warm drink and blew gently on the top. Your eyes brightened as you took a sip and tasted a hint of peppermint.
The rest of the evening was spent playing games, dancing to Remus' new records and sharing Peter's surplus of sweets from Honeydukes. You felt your shoulders relax as you looked around at your friends having a good time, catching Sirius already looking you. His eyes darted away as soon as you saw him, the corners crinkling as he laughed as some joke James had made. You felt a nudge in your side, turning to see Lily cocking her head towards the dorms asking if you were ready to go. Nodding, the three of you girls stood up and waved goodnight to the Marauders and shuffled up to your room.
You flopped into bed with a blissful sigh. "Thanks for tonight guys, I needed this."
Marlene waved her hand in dismissal. "You've studied hard, you needed a bit of a break."
"The peppermint hot chocolate was just the thing I needed, it's my favorite."
"Peppermint hot chocolate?" Lily's nose scrunched with disgust, but then her eyes widened with realization, her and Marlene sharing a knowing grin. "Right, the peppermint hot chocolate."
You turned your head to squint at them. "Why do you two have that look on your faces?"
"We don't know what you're talking about, goodnight!"
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You're going to pass the exam, you're to going to p—
"Watch it, you half-breed, or I'll turn you into the little mutt you are." Lucius Malfoy spat at you as you ran into him, pulling out his wand.
"Oh sod off, why don't you put your daddy's money where your mouth is?" you scoffed, reaching for your own wand. He sneered at your comeback, taking a step closer to you.
"Hey sunshine, I was looking everywhere for you! Let me walk you to class." Sirius appeared next to you, taking your school bag and slinging it over his shoulder, shooting a grin to Lucius, canines on full display. "Thanks for watching her for me Malfoy but next time, don't."
Sirius steered you away from the fuming Slytherin, arm around your shoulder. He ducked his head down to speak to you quietly. "You alright?"
"Fine, boys are just jerks." you grumbled, your mind now focusing on your exam as you two turned into the hall where your classroom was located.
"Not all of us though, right?"
The corner of his mouth lifted, your smiled mirroring his own. "Yeah, Pete's alright."
"You're killing me doll." He threw his head back dramatically, his smile slipping as yours did, now standing in front of the History of Magic classroom. "Hey, how about we made a deal?"
"Huh?" you pulled yourself out of a daze, looking up at him. "What's the deal?"
Sirius coughed to the side and straightened his posture. "You get an Outstanding on your exam, and I'll take you out."
A flush crept up your face, not believing your ears. As annoying as he was, of course you had thought about Sirius romantically before, who hadn't? You really hoped your studying paid off, your smile and voice coming out shy. "What if I don't get an Outstanding?"
Sirius lit up like the Great Hall during the holidays, smiling ear to ear. "Then I'm still taking you out to cheer you up. I also have just been dying to take you on a date, sunshine."
An hour later you left the classroom with a giant smile on your face and a big 'O' on your parchment. Sirius immediately took your hand in his and dragged you to Hogsmeade for your first date, the twinkling sound of your laughter letting him know it wouldn't be your last.
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potatomountain · 7 days ago
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The Other Zone
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🌀Pairing: Yunho x fem!reader (feat. other idols) 🌀WC: 13,431 🌀AU: multiverse, ?? to lovers, with some OZ, stranger things, and beauty and the beast dynamics 🌀Genre: phycological thriller, dark romance 🌀Summary: With barely an identity, and a lot of missing time, you signed your life away for answers. Just to untangle a web of mystery between this world, and another, second guessing who is the villain, and who is the hero, wondering if you could possibly make it right somehow. 🌀Warnings: cnc/dubcon, graphic depictions of mutilation and murder, implications of experiments, drugs, one stab, bloody scenes. Smut warnings: huge cock Yunho, mxm and mentions of poly, mutual masturabation. Fingering, choking, slight clit slapping, dacryphilia, slight blood play, squirting, creampie, stomach bulge, strength play, angryish sex 🌀AN: for the YOTV: Year of the Snake collab hosted by @sanjoongie. ngl not as dark as i wanted but my favorite horror genre is the one where its just one big puzzle to figure out filled with all sorts of twists and turns. It's a genre I want to be good in, thus why I wanted to go this route. 🌀Big thanks to Sangjoongie for inviting me to this collab and betaing for half of it. And a big thanks to @bunnliix for beta! honorary tags of @adelusionforyourthoughts and @yourfatherlucifer and for the other amazing writers in the YOTV collab. You've all been a big help with this <3 Please read at your own risk. Minors/ageless blogs will be immediately blocked if you interact!
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Signing away your life was perhaps the easiest decision you had ever made. No matter how many times you looked over the contract, it was pretty cut and dry and simple. An experimental test that had the potential to fix your biggest problems yet: Poverty, and the unexplained missing time in your memory.
For as long as you could remember, you had been alone. No family to support you, found alone in the slums and then put into foster care. There would be hours, days, sometimes weeks of missing time from your memory, which of course caused problems with the system as it made it hard to place you in a home.
Jobs were just as bad. You couldn’t exactly keep one if you weren’t conscious long enough to actually do it. How you managed here, in this pure white and far too bright laboratory, was beyond you, but you were being fed and had a bed to sleep on so you didn’t complain too much.
Like every other time you expected them to kick you out or look at you like you were some monster, but instead they handed you this massive contract and let you read it over.
In exchange for more money than you thought you could ever spend, you signed away your rights and bodily anatomy to the lab so that they could potentially find out the explanation for your missing time. What really sold you, is when you were told that you weren’t the first one they had in custody with an eerily similar condition.
Escorted back to the padded room, you briefly wondered what was going to happen next. They didn’t say what the experimentation was outside of drugs and tests to see how they affect you, so the worst was probably side effects? Whatever it was, you thought it would be better than living on the streets, doing regrettable things just to get by.
Here you at least had three meals a day, a bed, showers, and clean clothes. They cut your hair pretty short, but you didn’t mind, it was starting to get matted anyways. Your hands and feet felt so soft. It felt nice, and you never thought you would get to such a point in your life.
You often wondered why even try after all, but there was something nagging in your brain that you had to survive; that you had to live. It was the only reason you never thought of taking your own life.
Was this why? Did some part of you just know things would turn around?
Later you were moved to a lower level of the lab, behind more security to a whole wing with slightly bigger bedrooms, still white and padded, but you weren’t alone in the wing either. There was staff, and then patients.
People like you.
Every single other patient was a male, something like recognition flashing in their eyes as you passed. Some bowed their heads, others smiled, and you mirrored their greetings as if it was the most natural thing to do. Not that you knew why, confusion settling on their features, and yours, after the act. It only lasted a moment, awe dashing away the thoughts as you were brought to a decent rec room with board games and other activities in the room. There was a TV and games but they seemed to be offline.
Right away, one of the conditions was being secluded from the outside world as a way to ensure nothing leaked out before its time. It was an experiment, so that was understandable. Even without wifi or cable, the selection of recreational games and hobbies that were nicely spaced apart had you giddy.
“Make yourself comfortable and introduce yourself to a few others. There are about a dozen others, the only rule is no talk of your personal outside life. Like past family, or relationships, no names given. Understood?” The doctor - at least you think he was a doctor, maybe an orderly - told you. 
“Yes, sir.” You nodded once more, turning back to the remaining others in the room. You had passed about four or five, and there were just as many here in the room now, some you had passed joining you. They all had their things that they gravitated to, but you didn’t move at first.
It wasn’t until the sound of a piano and low humming grabbed your attention that you stepped further into the room. Whatever tune the person played, it was familiar, and it drew you over like a moth to the burning flame.
He stopped playing when you got close enough, for a moment frozen before he suddenly leaned back far enough he was looking up at you upside down, brown tufts of unkempt hair hanging down to expose his face. Wild, almost insane eyes stared up at you, matched with an unhinged grin with perfect teeth.
“Did you like that?” He asked in a singsong voice, fingers still paused on the keyboard.
If you had sense, you would realize the man was insane. He had cloth wrapped around his wrists, dried blood on them and broken painted nails that also had dried blood under them. His neck had a similar white cloth, tied in a big bow that somehow made him look boyish.
Boyish and mad, but not an ounce of a threat.
“I did. What’s the song?” You hummed out, for the life of you unable to name it.
He shrugged casually, sitting up and rolling his dainty shoulders back, making them seem wider than they were a moment ago. “Can’t remember. Only the tune.” He started playing it again, singing it a bit louder in a beautiful voice that just drew you in.
You stepped closer, just to have someone else suddenly grab your wrist and yank you away. Turning with a gasp, you stared up at another patient, black hair past his sharp jaw, fierce eyes staring you down a curved nose that was oddly beautiful. “Don’t get too close to Hongjoong, He’s as mad as they come.”
“As if you’re any better, Wooyoung.” The man on the piano, Hongjoong, sang back followed by a laugh that could only be described as joyful insanity. “No sanity for me, no love for you~~” His fingers danced against the plastic keys of the keyboard, playing a different tune with a heavier build and faster tempo. “All who come must leave something behind.”
Wooyoung scoffed, dropping your hand with a sneer. “Just don’t encourage him. He’s fucking annoying.” He grumbled out, flipping off the man on the piano and then sauntering elsewhere to leave you be.
They were both odd, but your whole life had been odd so it didn’t necessarily bother you.
In fact, each of the other patients you met had something odd about them. One had a strong fear of water to the point he was sedated regularly to be bathed and cared for. Another was apparently so afraid of everything that he never left his room. There was a man who didn’t talk, and another who was convinced he was a cat, but otherwise not a single one seemed dangerous, all opening up to you easily in the days that passed.
You were beginning to worry about the experiment after the first week, only taking the medicine they asked for just before bed, and then having to tell an orderly the date the next day. So far, you had no missing time, nor any weird side effects.
Not until the second week.
It was just a dream, at least you told yourself. You were staring up at an oddly colored sky that was a swirl of colors, but when you sat up from the hard ground beneath you, your surroundings seemed desolate. Destroyed buildings that looked like they were an array of colors and materials before, now just piles of rubble. A red brick road barely visible under the rubble a few feet from you, and the thick forest around you seemed devoid of life, or leaves.
It was a colorful land turned wasteland, and for some reason, your chest was tight at the sight.
Slowly you pushed yourself up from the dirt, stepping onto the uneven road and turning your head to look down both paths in a debate of which way to take. You could barely make out a city in the distance to your right, so that’s where you would go. Maybe there was life there? Answers to why this place was so debauched?
Maybe it could answer why you needed answers to begin with, heading down the road with careful steps. It felt like hours walking, the landscape devoid of sound as it was of life, only the rubble and dried twigs snapping under your bare feet could be heard. On occasion you stepped just wrong on something that had you wincing in pain, and by the time the forest became less dense and more buildings were inside, the soles of your feet felt scrapped up and were throbbing.
Odd to feel pain from a dream, you mused, but perhaps more odd that you didn’t question it much.
Even once in the center of the torn town, there was still no life. No hum of electricity or fires, no light other than the seeming forever setting sun in the distance. Nothing.
With a sigh you sat down on the edge of a water fountain with no water, running your hands over the worn stone and marveling at the feeling on your fingertips. It truly felt real. But that just made it even more disturbing. If such a desolate place was real, then the horrors that made it so were as well.
You thought about finding a bed to lay down in, since despite the long trek you didn’t feel hunger but you felt exhaustion. There was also an overwhelming loneliness that sat in your chest, which made you want to leave this place sooner as if it was the cause of it.
Until you heard movement.
Sitting up straight you looked around, scanning for where the noise came from. Your eyes widened when they landed on another figure. A familiar figure.
Hongjoong grinned as he saw you, giggling in that familiar way you knew but there was something different about him: almost sane.
“You’re here? Oh you are here!” Laughing louder he rushed over to you, still grinning wide. “Hm, I wonder what’s different about you. Here we have what we lost, you know.”
“Well if you have your sanity, it doesn’t seem like it.” You let out a scoff, but overall were glad to see him. “Are you going to talk in riddles again or can you explain to me where I am? Is it a dream? It doesn’t feel like a dream."
He sat down next to you, quiet as he looked around at what once had been a beautiful town no doubt. “I don’t know where here is, but I know it’s not the lab. It’s not that world. I can’t remember the name, just a feeling it was home at some point. I’ve met Wooyoung here before, but he was different. He doesn’t remember when he wakes. Neither do the others. It’s just missing time.”
With a frown, you digested his words. It sounded insane, and the man was insane, so why should you believe him? Yet you did. You believed him completely. “So, the missing time in my memory, was it because I was mentally here?”
“Bingo!” He beamed over at you. “If you pay attention to the white coats, you’ll hear them talk about dream walking. That’s what they call this, what we do.”
Dream walking? That didn’t explain what this place was, or why you seemed tied to it, but you didn’t think Hongjoong would have the answer. “What if I forget this when I wake up?” “Good question. Do you want to wake up now?”
You still felt inexplicably sleepy, and despite accepting the information he had given, it still felt like so much. So much emotion and knowledge you weren’t sure how to process it. Not to mention the need to confirm it. “Yes, I want to wake up.”
“Then… Do you trust me?”
Did you? That was another good question. You never trusted anyone in your life, and he was an unpredictable man in the real world, which seemed to transfer to this realm as well. And yet, you found yourself nodding. “I think so?”
He reached out, taking your hand in his and running his thumb over the center of your palm. “I apologize for this then.”
Before you could question, you were screaming out in pain, glancing down at the piece of glass now embedded in your palm. Blood gushed out, head spinning as you took note that his hand was bleeding as well from the grip he had on the other edge, blood trickling down until-
You sat up screaming and holding your hand to your chest, tears running freely as panic spiked through you. Pain radiated up your arm to your chest, and in your panicked state you noticed blood. Blood oozed from the piece of dirty glass in your hand, dripping onto the white gown you wore, and the bed beneath that looked as if it had been tossed through the dirt.
The door to the room burst open at your cries, two orderlies and a nurse rushing to your side. Through your tears you recognized Jongin at the door, one of the doctors that checked in on you.
Whether it was because of the adrenaline coursing through your veins as the nurse and orderlies held you down, or Hongjoong’s actions in the dream making  you more alert, you heard Jongin even through the chaos as he spoke into a small device.
“It happened, patient seventeen experienced it. And they brought back an object.”
Sobbing out, you turned your attention to the glass the nurse was examining, knowing just what he meant. You brought an object from a dream back with you. How was that even possible?
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Things were vastly different after that. You saw the scientists and doctors more than you saw the others like you. Their reactions were a mixture of excitement and curiosity, but some seemed quite apprehensive of you, reluctant to even touch you.
Sitting on the new bed you were brought to, Doctor Junmyeon sat in the seat across from you, taking notes on a notepad as they tried not to let electronics in this room. You were curious about what happened to Hongjoong, because while you hadn’t told them it was him that had stabbed you with the glass, you were worried his hand had been injured just like yours and they knew anyway.
If they did, would they isolate him like they did you? Even if he had stabbed you, you didn’t want that. He was the first real connection you had to the other plane.
“Alright Seventeen, we’re going to try to induce you into that state tonight, is that alright?”
While you swore you had returned to the other plane since you were moved here, unlike the time Hongjoong stabbed you, you couldn’t remember it. So you had no idea if you met any of the others there or so forth. “If I do… what if I don’t remember?” You asked hesitantly, playing with the worn out bandage around your hand. After two weeks it was mostly healed, but there were fresh scraps on the bottoms of your feet every few days. That was how you assumed you were over there.
The man smiled, playing up the charm to ease your nerves as he leaned over and gently placed a hand over yours to stop you from agitating the wound. “That’s alright. This is just a test to see if you can be sent over with the drugs we give you. Is that alright?”
Blushing at the small contact and staring at his thumb brushing over your knuckles, you nodded. “Yes, sir.” Doctor Kim Junmyeon was the head Doctor here at the facility and since your incident, he had been personally coming to see you and explain the tests they were doing. The medication they often gave you knocked you out, but there had been times it was at the cost of your stomach contents first. Doctor Jongin usually assisted him, and then the orderly Kim Minseok helped you with your meds. They seemed nicer than the Doctor Minho that had been in charge of you before, dismissing all of your questions with a sneer. 
So you trusted them as you were laid down moments later, the heat turned up in the room to make up for the lack of blanket and mimic the humid atmosphere you had told them you remembered before. Doctor Junmyeon was the one to personally inject the blue medicine into your arm, a new one, before brushing your hair out of your face.
“I know you won’t let me down-” You were already falling asleep, but you swore he said your actual name.
You knew this time was going to be different since you did find yourself conscious in the other zone. Before, things went black and the next thing you remembered was waking up. You double, then triple check that you were indeed fully awake and aware, taking a few slaps to the face just to be sure.
Vividly, you remembered the fountain where Hongjoong had stabbed you, but this time it was nowhere in sight. You weren’t outside either though, instead staring at the highest ceiling you thought possible, the top so far up, it was dark, but you knew it was pointed, considering the angled ceiling you could see. Was it just that dark?
It was also intact, unlike all of the buildings you had seen before. Vaguely, you remembered a destroyed city past the forest, but there had been a tower or two that was still standing tall. Were you there now? Did you make it to the city in the time you could not recall.
Slowly you sat up, palm against the blankets that were beneath you: dusty but they were blankets.
Had you made a bed the last time? Was that how you left, laying down and sleeping? By why here, in this tower? 
One glance around was enough of an answer, this place was tidy and intact, only a pile or two of ruin but there were actual lights on the walls and less debris dust than even that small town. And… running water.
Your eyes fixated on the faucet pouring water into what looked like a roman bath, steam bellowing from the hot water but it didn’t hide the figure there. Well, plural figures.
They were across from each other, one sitting on the edge, their back facing you but you could see their legs spread and a hand between them. The soft sounds coming from them gave you a good idea of just what they were doing, heat rushing up your neck. You couldn’t make out the expression of the man sitting in the water, leaning against the other edge, but he was clearly watching the show.
Why it was happening yards from your sleeping form was lost to you, unless you hadn’t physically been there a moment ago. Still, you couldn’t tear your eyes away, ignoring the foggy figure you couldn’t make out and instead the back of the tall man that was clearly playing with himself in a sexual manner.
“Can I come? Please?” The deep voice panted out and you had to stop yourself from responding: he wasn’t talking to you after all. 
A low chuckle responded instead, bringing your attention right over to the other man. He moved through the water, stepping up so it was waist high instead, the fog clearing enough you could make out his features more as he approached the one stroking himself. “Of course you can, Princess, I could never deny you when you listen so well.” He placed his hands on either side of the man, similar in stature but radiating energy that made him seem bigger- more dominant. “I would taste you if I could, would you like that?”
“P-Please.” More breathless moans followed, getting higher in pitch as well as clear wet sounds of him stroking his cock faster. His head fell back, dark hair sticking to his forehead, eyes shut, but you could make out such plush lips and sharp cheekbones. You were captivated, lips parted just as his were, but he was the one who let out a silent cry, body tensing with his climax.
Pressing your thighs together, you tried to feel shame for seeing such an intimate thing. One you didn’t expect to see but still, the show wasn’t for you.
Mind reeling, you found yourself sitting up straighter when the larger man met your gaze, lips twisting up into a sly smirk. “So the little dove awakens? Apologies you couldn’t see the full show in all its glory.” He moved to the side of the other, pulling himself out of the water with ease, splashing a good deal of it onto the marble floor.
You quickly looked away so as not to see his lower half, covering your eyes as your mouth ran dry. Each of his steps closer rang in your ears, resulting in you shrinking into yourself even more. “I didn’t mean to watch-”
“It’s alright.” He cut you off, voice much closer now. “Open your eyes, I’m covered. I want to give you a better welcome.”
“Welcome?” Slowly you peeked through your fingers, breath hitching at just how close he was. Dark hair with blue tones, eyes that shone like sapphires, and soft features that had a warm charm to them; all of his features were accentuated by the water droplets running over golden skin and clinging to the soft strands. You didn’t dare to look lower.
“Mhmm. A welcome. Stand up, we can leave the room and give Mingi a moment to wash up and dress. Unless you are having trouble walking?”
At his words, your head swiveled to stare at the other man, watching as he slipped into the water and dipped down until his chin was level with it. He smiled over at you a bit sheepishly, but he didn’t look familiar. Just his name. Some of the other patients had mentioned that the one who kept himself in his room out of fear had been named Mingi.
Was this the same man?
“No, I can walk just fine. But um, where to?” There were several doorways but you couldn’t make out what was beyond them.
“How about that one over there?” He pointed to an arch just behind what looked to be a throne, then stood up and gave you space. 
With a nod you climbed to your feet, feeling a bit wobbly as you did, but headed through the archway. The room you stepped into was blank, some odd looking rubble the only objects, leaving you a bit confused. You turned to look up at the man, just to gasp at how much he did tower over you.
“Keep walking.”
“But there isn’t anything here.” You protested, taking note he stopped a foot from you.
“Check again.” He laughed under his breath, a spark in his eyes as you momentarily pouted, ready to argue.
Any protest did die in your throat when you turned back and saw the rubble was replaced with plush sofas and decor, much like an inviting waiting room or a sitting area. Your mouth hung open, momentarily gaping like a fish before turning back to him to see him laughing behind his hand. “How did-”
“I can explain if you’ll take a seat.” His laughter nearly doubled as you rushed to the nearest sofa and plopped down, eyeing him intently. “That eager?”
With a nod, you didn’t dare tear your gaze from him. “I want answers.”
“I can give them to you. In time.” He stepped in front of you, the fluffy white robe shifting into a velvet blue suit with a fluff on the outer jacket that mirrored a flower. A white button up was under the blue vest, and the sparkling red shoes he wore were a bold and clashing statement. They held your attention the most, an odd familiarity to them. “You really don’t remember the last time you were awake here, little dove?”
The change in his tone had your gaze snapping back to his face, taken back by the sorrow you saw there. “Ah, no, I don’t. There was only one time I remember being here, though I assume I’ve been here a lot?”
He nodded, taking a seat across from you and crossing his leg while resting his hands on the arm rest, exuding power although he watched you with an immense fondness. It was almost alarming the way he looked at you as if you were some long lost friend he had missed. “I believe you have, though the first time I had seen you, in a long time, was the last time you were here. A shame, you grew up so much and yet I can’t hug you or show my joy that you are here. A bigger shame you don’t remember me at all.”
There was a tightness in your chest that agreed with him, but it still left so many questions. “What’s your name? So I can try and remember it next time?”
“Yunho."
“And what is this place, Yunho?”
“I have long forgotten the name of it. It’s like it lost its name when it started decaying.” He sighed, tearing your gaze away and with a wave of his hand, like a mirage, images appeared all around you, just floating in the air like bubbles. “This is what it once was, I remember that much.” The sights of bustling towns and vibrant structures and lands had emotion welling up in your throat. It was extremely familiar, like a place you had seen in your dreams so long ago. “And now it’s…” “Yes, now it’s an empty wasteland.” The images shifted to burnt forests and black wastelands with destroyed buildings. It looked like life was literally sucked out of the land. “The people all disappeared, for I remained. Some return, like you or Mingi in the other room, but rarely remember your times here."
“Does Mingi remember?”
“He does. He remembers me, but he says he has no memory of where he is outside of this place. Do you?” He waved the images away and turned to you, leaning forward on his elbows. “Do you know where you are when you sleep? Do you know where you go?”
Automatically your mouth opened to answer, but instead you frowned. “I… I do. But I don’t know if I should tell you.”
“Why not? Do you not trust me?”
“Quite frankly, I don’t know. I feel like I can, but I also feel like I can’t. You can wave your hand and make things, and the fact that I can be in two places, two worlds, is also terrifying.” You sank into the plush fabric beneath you, frowning at the hospital gown. “Could you… are you able to change what I’m wearing?”
“What an odd thing to ask.” He mused, but went quiet, cupping his chin in thought. “I can't, but I can create something for you to change into if you would like?”
You nodded without hesitation, standing up to do that just to get flustered at his soft laugh. “What? You offered.”
“I did, but do you want to change in front of me?”
“I-” something about the way he had said it made you think about what you witnessed in the bath, the show Mingi had put on for him. Those thoughts moved to you doing the same, which had your thighs pressing together. “Where can I change?”
He stood up once more, a snap of his fingers and a box with a pretty bow appeared on the table before you. “In here. I’ll go get Mingi.” He was walking out of the room with such long strides that he was out of sight before you could reply.
So you turned your attention to the box, undoing the silk bow and opening it up to find a neatly folded blue dress that matched the suit he wore. Elbow length flowy sleeves and a knee length skirt that once on fit your form almost perfectly. Snug but comfortable, and it made you feel prettier than the gown did.
You were sitting back down when they came back, Mingi also dressed in a blue velvet suit; you wondered if that was a personal preference for Yunho.
“Ah, it suits you.” Yunho commented as he took the same seat as before, Mingi sitting on the sofa to his right. Just like before, they didn’t touch, bringing up his earlier words.
“So you can’t touch us? Is that why he was- um-”
“Masturbating for him?” Mingi added on, smiling a bit bashfully but he met your gaze. “If Yunho touches me, I go away. Don’t know where-”
“But you do, right little Dove? Is Mingi in the other place as well?” Yunho added on when Mingi trailed off.
Slowly you nodded your head. “I believe so. I’ve heard his name, but I never saw him in person.”
“Then how do you know it’s me?” Mingi relaxed in the seat, completely at ease with the questioning. Considering the Mingi you knew of kept himself locked away out of fear, and that this one seemed the opposite of fearful, you couldn’t say it was the same man.
Still, you shrugged and pushed on. “There are… others there, that are like me, I'm told. The Mingi there is one of them. One of the others, I met there, and met here, so I’m just making an assumption.”
“Makes sense, all those I’ve met disappear when I touch them. Maybe because I am here, but they aren’t?” Yunho hums out, leaning back in his chair. “There is one I’ve met that seems to remember, if only a little, but he prefers wandering the lands. Maybe you met him? Hongjoong?”
Out of reflex, you rubbed at the bandage around your hand, Yunho’s eyes following. “Ah, you had that last time, but couldn’t remember how you got it. Do you remember now?”
“Yes. Hongjoong stabbed me with glass the last time I remember being here. It woke me up, but the glass…” Did you tell him it had gone with you?
By the look in his eye, you didn’t have too. “I see. Would you like me to scold him next time I see him?”
“No, it’s alright. Will you answer more of my questions instead?”
Yunho tilted his head in question, watching you carefully for a moment before he settled on what to say. “In time. I want to make sure you remember what I tell you. Why don’t you tell me about your trip where Hongjoong stabbed you instead. And I will tell you a story as well.” 
Agreeing, you recanted step by step your journey the last time you could remember, leaving out the mention of white coats and just that Hongjoong called this dream walking. It still sounded insane to you, especially as it was becoming obvious this wasn’t a dream. You were, for whatever reason, awaking in a new world or dimension when you slept. Two halves of a whole. 
The story that Yunho told you was of a young girl, beloved by those that lived in this castle. He told you that she had many friends, from a scarecrow to a lion, and they all adored her. But none as much as her closest friend, her confidant, a beast tied to the very dungeons of this castle.
When asked why it was relevant, he had quite a forlorn and sad expression as he fiddled with the velvet flower. “Because that’s where the story starts, with them.” Then he had changed the subject, saying it was about time the both of you went back and he would prepare a room.
Once left with Mingi, you had a question for him alone. “Why… why were you doing that with Yunho in the bath? Are you two lovers?”
He smiled wryly as he stood up. “Yes and no. This place can be quite lonely, so it gives him pleasure. He’s never touched or kissed me, only said the things he would like to do, and sometimes told me what to do myself. You’ll get there eventually with him, most of us do.”
It didn’t answer your question completely, but you didn’t press. You couldn’t imagine being the only one here, unable to touch anyone for years, not without them going poof the second there was a touch.
Yunho returned after that, leading you both to a large bedroom that did look lived in, with hues of blues and silvers and yellows that suited Yunho, but also felt familiar. Climbing onto the bed opposite Mingi, you watched the taller man lay down and fall asleep in seconds. But not you, you weren’t ready to go.
“Yunho?”
“Yes?”
Turning to him, you beckoned him closer. “I have a secret to tell you, lend me your ear?”
Hesitantly, he eyed you for a moment before leaning in and turning his head to listen even though you both knew there was no one around to hear anyways. 
With your heart racing, you gripped the bed covers, making up your mind before acting. “Thank you, I look forward to the next time.” And quickly you pressed a kiss to his cheek. The soft touch of his flesh for only a second before he, and the room were gone.
You found yourself sitting up in the bed back at the lab, blinking away the sleep to find Doctor Junmyeon just inches from your face, a hand on his cheek. He looked more bewildered than you felt, the dip of his gaze drawing your own.
This time you brought back the velvet dress.
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Of course the doctors were elated, turning a lot of their attention onto you. Twice a week they would induce the dream, and every time you woke up in the palace with Yunho.
While the doctors gave you tasks, you played the story game with Yunho each time, learning much about your dreaming abilities and the world Yunho was in.
For example, if you willingly slept in Yunho’s world, you didn’t remember the dream when you woke. So, you had gotten into the habit of touching Yunho to send yourself back. Afraid to tell the Doctor’s about Yunho just yet, you theorized with the man himself, deducing it took a shock to jolt you awake for the memory to stick, otherwise your brain forgets from the time you sleep to when you wake up. So a forceful awakening was needed.
Another thing you learned is that you couldn’t bring everything over, but it did go both ways. Food you couldn’t, but permanent objects like the glass or clothes you could, just no electronics.
From listening to Doctor Junmyeon and the others, you were the only one who could bring physical things too and from. And, while you didn’t divulge everything, you did say you remembered bits and pieces.
They let you interact with the others once more, though Hongjoong never brought it up in the lab, he did apologize profusely the next time you saw him at the castle. Finally you saw what he meant before, with Wooyoung being the biggest tell. Heartless he seemed in the lab, devoid of life with no emotion on his features, but in the castle? He had quickly become clingy and needy, his laughter ringing through the marble halls and professing his love for any who would hear it.
There were others, the contrast night and day, and you started leaving a journal in the dream world of the differences and your own notes.
This went on for weeks, from playing games with Yunho and finding out about the dream world, to doing your best for Doctor Junmyeon to earn praise and support without ever telling him about Yunho. You told him you met the others, earning even more time with them and joint experiments which just resulted in you spending time with them and Yunho.
The more you got to know the mystery man in dreamland, and the progress you made with the doctors, you were aware there was something dark behind the scenes.
Yunho told you stories of a girl, or sometimes stories about the others, and often you thought he was talking about them and yourself from a time before. Before the world became a wasteland. When you finally asked him how it became so, he would push it off, saying you didn’t need to know.
As for Doctor Junmyeon, you were sure he caught onto the existence of Yunho. He often asked if there was anyone else there, that wasn’t here. Or any animals. You should have known something was amiss when he tested to see if you could bring over a bird.
The fact it was a dove scared you. It scared you more to see Yunho’s reaction.
He stared at it as if he wanted to break it’s neck, an aura radiating from him that seemed to darken as the dove tried to flee from your hands. Thankfully Wooyoung had been there, convincing him that he didn’t need to harm it, so instead he created a cage and put it there.
“I need this alive for the next time.” You told him, attempting to placate Yunho yourself.
He snarled, collapsing onto the sofa in the little waiting room and stared you down with dark hooded eyes. “Convince me. There are doves here. Why did it have to be a dove?” Biting your lip, you glanced over at Wooyoung who was doting on the bird through the cage, all smiles. This version of him had grown on you, and perhaps how bold he was as well, considering what you did offer.
Wooyoung’s head turned so fast he might have given himself whiplash, eyes bulging out of his head at your suggestion. It did the trick though, Yunho was now leaning forward, elbows to knees and hands clasped before him, grinning with a look of lust you had seen on his features more than once when talking to you. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t flirted, he had made it clear he found you attractive, admitting on more than one occasion he wished he could touch you, more than any of the others.
Perhaps you returned the sentiment, considering you just offered to touch yourself on his command if the bird was indeed there when you returned.
Wooyoung spent most of the time you were there teasing you for it, telling you that there was no going back now. You didn’t want to go back.
You knew you could fuck any of the other patients in the lab, you had seen them do it. Wooyoung himself would go to other rooms, and he would tell you it was in an attempt to feel something, while Hongjoong just enjoyed it. You could have either of them if you really wanted, and part of you did, but not as bad as you wanted Yunho.
The man you couldn’t touch.
The tension between you both was heavy for that visit and he made a show of sitting closer to you than he normally would. Inches from you rather than feet, distracting you from whatever Wooyoung was babbling on about now. At least until Wooyoung got quiet. You looked up to see he was gone, indicating he woke up.
Another thing you had noticed. When you slept here, your body disappeared. Mingi’s, Wooyoung’s, Hongjoong’s- everyone’s. Yours though, sometimes it stayed, appearing more like an apparition than a body according to Yunho.
Another way you were different.
“I’ll tell you something crucial this time, little dove.” Yunho drew your attention back to him, leaning against the back of the sofa with his shoulder. “I don’t have all of my memories, just the before, and after. Before with the girl and her friends, and an after with a wasteland I am alone in. It wasn’t always a wasteland, first the people were just… gone. But over the years I saw it, everything collapsing. The furthest lands, slowly aching this way. This tower, I can’t leave, I’ve tried. But it also remains mostly intact. I can shape it to my will, but not outside. You all say your versions over there have lost something, well it feels as if I have lost something too.”
Your heart hurt for him, unable to imagine the life he had here in this world. “Do you know where they went? The people?”
He shook his head, glancing over your head out one of the stained glass windows. “No. I only know that without them, this world isn’t complete, and neither am I.”
You sat in silence for some time after that, mulling his words over carefully. Without really saying goodbye you leaned back against the sofa on your side, mirroring his form and smiling up at him as you reached out. His own smiling visage disappeared from your sight as you had touched his hand, now looking over at Doctor Junmyeon and holding his hand.
The experiment was a success, the bird wasn’t with you, and when you returned, the dove was still alive.
As promised you gave Yunho an evening where you sprawled on the bed naked, touching yourself every which way he wanted you to. He made you whine and beg to come over and over, until you were so exhausted you had to beg to stop before you passed out.
To your surprise, he climbed into the bath with you, sitting across, and giving you an equally tantalizing sight. He stroked himself off, much like Mingi had done for him that first time you remembered him, but you remember thinking it might be a good thing he couldn’t actually fuck you. You had no idea how you would be able to take his massive size otherwise.
It was a shame you couldn’t curl up next time him afterwards though, stepping out of the water feeling touch starved despite his gaze eating you up for what had felt like hours. Perhaps you could curl up with Hongjoong once you returned? Just to feel that physical intimacy you so desperately needed now.
It had you in a rush to get back, changed into a new outfit you pulled the dove out of the cage and sat down in the same spot you had awoken. Yunho sat down across from you once more, watching you with such warmth you also didn’t want to leave. Wordlessly, you did, waking up with the dove alive in your arms.
Not that Junmyeon cared. He and the others seemed a bit more flustered over your damp hair, and the soaked bed from when you had supposedly cum over and over, soaking it, making sounds they all heard. As well as who they had been for.
“Who is Yunho?”
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Reluctantly, you told Junmyeon everything. He seemed shocked at first, but then understanding as he held your hand and nodded along. But by the end of your tale, he looked concerned.
“Are you sure he hasn’t bewitched you somehow? He can manipulate the space in that tower, how sure are you that he can't manipulate you?”
The simple question filled you with doubt. There had been times you felt as if you couldn’t trust him, some instinct that said it was a bad idea. Was this why? 
Junmyeon moved onto the bed next to you, now a clean one, and rested his hand on your knee as he muttered your name. “I think it’s time to tell you the truth about what we do here.”
You were silent for a moment before looking up at him. “You already know why we all have the missing time. You already know about the other side… don’t you?” You had figured it out a bit ago, Junmyeon didn’t seem shocked about your descriptions of the other place or that you saw the others there. In fact, he seemed elated you remembered it and could transfer items to and from. “You want to get to the other place… don’t you?”
With his nod, your heart sank. The whole reason you never asked was you wanted to be in denial; wanted the concern Junmyeon showed you to be because you were someone he really wanted to help. But you were a tool to him, to get to the other side.
All of you were.
“Yes but… I would like to tell you why. Will you listen?” He grabbed both of your hands but you pulled them away and stood up, unable to look at him.
“It’s a wasteland over there! Why would you want to go there? What does it have that-” You answered your own question, staring up at him with abject horror.
Yunho.
They wanted Yunho. 
Junmyeon began to panic, standing up and shaking his head. “We do but not for the reasons you think! Listen, he isn’t an ally to you, he’s deceiving you.” As you shook your head vehemently, Junmyeon grabbed your biceps. “Think about it, you’re a smart girl. He can manifest physical things and change that tower to his will. Do you really think he can’t change the land? Or make you see things that aren’t true?”
“But he wouldn’t-”
“Let me prove it to you. Please.” There was a desperation to his tone now that had you wincing, tears brimming in your eyes. You didn’t think he was lying to you, it often felt like Yunho wasn’t telling you something.
“I… okay.”
He sighed with visible relief. “Thank you.” He cupped the back of your head, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. You wanted to enjoy the simple touch, wanted to rely on this man who you thought genuinely cared to make you better.
But now you didn’t trust him. They wanted Yunho, and maybe they were right that Yunho was lying to you. What was the reason though? You wanted to know.
You wanted answers. That’s why you agreed.
Staying in your room until the next experiment, you couldn’t look at the others. They didn’t know about Yunho and the other zone, even Hongjoong never mentioned him over here. It was just you. You are lost in thought, weighing your options, trying to find some missing puzzle piece the entire time you were in solitude.
Then it was time.
Junmyeon explained that Yunho would show his true colors to outsiders, and that’s why you had a guard sitting next to you, holding your hand and getting tied together. Either he would physically or mentally cross over with you, that was the hope, but you felt uneasy.
This just felt like Junmyeon trying to see if you could bring others over, not a test against Yunho. It felt like a trap but you had to go through with it. You needed the answers, so you had to.
“You’ll see, Seventeen, you’ll see.” Junmyeon muttered under his breath as he injected you with the serum to put you under. Disappointment filled your heart as he was back to calling you by your subject number, but you tried not to let it show.
Instead you focused on bringing the guard with you, one you had never seen before.
Beginning to recognize the feeling in your mind that gave away you weren’t on earth anymore, you knew you were on the sofa even before you opened your eyes.
The man was still tied to you, blinking sleep from his eyes as you both stared at each other. There was no time to be elated though, a pained beastly scream was heard throughout the space, even shaking the very seat you were on. The man jumped into action, quickly undoing the ties as the rumbles got closer.
Fear struck your heart when you heard it, your name, twisted like a venomous bite on a beast’s tongue. Eyes on the door, tears burned them as Yunho strode in, a black mass behind him that roared with unmatched rage.
“Why is there someone else with you?!” He spoke through clenched teeth, veins throbbing on his neck so prominent you could even make out the pulse. The shadow behind him spoke the same words, shaking the ceiling.
“Fuck-” If you were afraid, this guard was petrified, holding up a gun you hadn’t seen on his body before hand. “This was suicide-”
“Damn right it was.” Yunho reached out, the next second the man before him, Yunho’s claw wrapped around his throat. The gun had dropped to the floor, the guard now clawing at the blue velvet around Yunho’s forearm. “Answer me little dove, are you betraying me?! Are you bringing the enemy here?!”
Finding your voice finally you stood. “They’re helping me! Don’t hurt him Yunho!” You stepped closer, noticing the furniture decaying rather quickly as the tower was still shaking. “Yunho please!”
He laughed, such a dark and twisted sound it stilled you down to your breath. He looked at you like a beast, lips pulled back in a snarl and a glare so fierce you fell back.
“You fell for it again, little dove. So naive.”
You could only watch in horror as Yunho grabbed the man’s thigh and then ripped it off. Blood splattered in an arch around the room, hitting your gown and arm you held tightly to your chest. Even through the onslaught of tears you could see in detail each limb get ripped off, the man screaming from his life until he was dead. Even then Yunho still ripped him apart, the shadow attached to him like he was a part of it, roaring with laughter.
Blood was soaking your dress by now, the same blue velvet one he had given you. You wore it every time for these experiments, just so he wouldn’t give you more. But now the thick fabric was dark and wet with blood. It was on your arms, your face, kneeling in a pool of it as he dropped the dozens of pieces of the man before you and began to stomp it into a pulp.
He looked like a demon, a beast, reaping enjoyment from turning a grown man into a pile of blood and mush.
The feeling of being soaked in blood, watching bodies get torn apart, was so familiar it unlocked something in you.
Weren’t you found in a blue dress like this? Covered in blood but not an ounce was yours? Bloody footprints behind you, torn up feet, running and running and you had no idea from what.
It had been from him. From this… beast that was licking the blood off his lips and staring down at the remains of the man with an elated and wicked grin. But it was the electric blue eyes of the shadow that fully solidified the memory.
This was why you hadn’t trusted him. You ran from him before, scared he would rip you apart too, just like that. You willed yourself to wake up, to stand and run, to do something, but all you did was sit there shaking and sobbing, struggling to breath.
When he finally seemed to notice you, your breath halted completely, locking eyes with him and unable to look away.
His smile faltered, stepping through the remains with a squelch under his red shoes before he knelt down before you. “Don’t look at me like that, you brought him here. Don’t you know this is our home? All those fucking intruders do is steal and take. They took you from me. They took you all from me.”
“I-I thought-”
“Thought I didn’t remember? I lied.” He didn’t touch you, but both he and that shadow dwarfed you with ease. “I lied because you hated me for hurting them last time and ran. I didn’t want you to run again, little dove. It’s been so lonely without you.”
Gasping out, your breathing picked up, tears falling faster. “I just want answers, Yunho. Just want to know who to trust. You’re scary like this. I don’t like you for being cruel. Why did you have to be cruel?” You sobbed out, ignoring the blood as you buried your face in your hands.
The tower wasn’t shaking anymore and it didn’t feel as dark as it had a second ago but you didn’t look up. You sobbed, wanting to wake up and forget this. You wanted the Yunho from last time back. Not this Yunho.
“I’m sorry little dove, just don’t leave me for good.” His voice had returned to normal, choking on emotion as he reached out, pressing his hand to the top of your head.
You woke screaming, swatting away his hand that wasn’t there anymore as you scrambled off the ground. You were dripping in blood and guts, taking in the sight of the room to find that the bed and furniture were all pushed to the walls, all painted with blood. Your eyes fell to the spot next to you, letting out another scream to find that you had brought it back.
The pile of guts, bone, and blood that was the guard.
Whether it was to be nice to you, or because they knew you were in no state of mind to continue, you were left to your own devices for weeks after that incident. The guards avoided you, and the other patients seemed concerned for you, especially Hongjoong.
You sat with him by the piano, watching him play that same tune he always did. Resting your head on his shoulder, you sighed, knowing you were being watched. “Hongjoong, what do I do?”
“Why are you asking me? No sanity remember.” He teased, leaning his head against yours. “Unless you’re looking for a crazy answer?”
“Maybe.”
“Logically I should ask what it is you are talking about. I really have no clue. But I think you already have the answer, you just don’t wanna believe it.” He stopped playing, instead moving to put you on his lap and your hands on the piano. “Play with me, little dove.”
Before you could question him, he was moving your hands over the keyboard, playing the tune he was just a moment ago. It felt physically familiar, Hongjoong humming the tune in your ear. You let your eyes flutter shut, let him take the lead, and just relax.
It was easy to picture a scenario where you sat on someone’s lap, their large hands over your smaller ones, teaching you this tune on piano. You could hear kids running around, a soft breeze and feel sun rays on your skin.
Someone said your name fondly, laughing as the song came to an end and a little boy with blue black hair ran up to you, holding out a flower. A happy boy with a familiar smile.
You snapped out of the memory, looking up at Hongjoong yet again. “All who come must leave something behind. Do you know what you left behind, little dove?”
“Why are you calling me that?”
He shrugged, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I don’t know, I think I remember someone else calling you that. In a dream.”
How much did he remember as just a dream? “Do you think I left him behind Hongjoong?” Was Yunho what you left behind?
“Maybe? Or he left that behind.” He spoke it with such a conviction you believed it to be true.
Yunho had said he wasn’t over here, and it made sense, but why would Hongjoong say that if he didn’t believe it? And the man had lied to you before. Doctor Junmyeon too, you realized, had also lied to you.
You needed to talk to Yunho, and without the doctors knowing. “Thanks Hongjoong, just one more question.” You climbed off his lap and he turned to look at you with such a serene and happy expression it puzzled you.“I hope I can give you the answer you want.”
“I think you are the only one who could answer it. Do you think we can go back? Permanently?”
He thought it over, rubbing his chin as if deep in thought before grinning. “If you will it, then yes.”
His response answered a lot for you, so many things are beginning to piece together. You just needed confirmation.
Later, when you were sure the guards weren’t looking, you slipped into another patient’s room, spotting him already sleeping. Thanks to Junmyeon you knew if you touched someone who was already there, it did the trick for you. It was a good thing you remembered that Mingi was always there.
He really did look the same, your first time seeing him in this realm and just as gorgeous. Taking a deep breath you climbed into bed with him, laying on your back before you took his hand in yours and shut your eyes.
You were out like a light, finding yourself on the bed from before. Mingi wasn’t beside you, but he was in the room, staring out a broken window.
Broken?
You sat up quickly, starting around the room to find that the bed was the only thing intact, and even then the blankets and canopy was shred to bits. Swallowing hard, you called out to him, shocked to find him crying. “Mingi?”
“He’s hurt.”
Panic swelled in your chest as you got off the bed and rushed out of the room. There were holes in the ceiling, cracks in the wall, and rubble everywhere. But in that main room, the bath gone from existence, Yunho was there.
He seemed to be asleep on the throne, the blue of his suit dirty but there was no more blood on him. Something about him seemed less, as if he was being drained of life like this realm.
Cautiously you approached, stopping just before him and resisting the urge to reach out. “Yunho?” 
No answer.
“Um… Yuyu?”
You could see his eyelids flicker.
“Yuyu, wake up please. It’s your little dove.” Swallowing the panic you tried to keep your voice steady. He had never been asleep before. “Please wake up. Please. I came back, didn't I?”
Still nothing.
Sighing, you sat down on the ground and watched him, calling out to him occasionally. “You said this was our home Yuyu, I was born here wasn’t I?” You rambled, needing to get this off your chest anyways. “But… but something happened. You scared me didn’t you and I ran? Ran over there. But I don’t get it. What happened, Yuyu? Why did we all leave? Did the intruders take us all away? Are they hurting this land? Are they hurting you?”
Nothing still, and you couldn’t help the tears that welled up. “I just want to make sense of it. I want to know what happened. I want to undo it and come back. Please, I want to come back. Want us all to be whole again.”
A hand on your shoulder made you jump, looking up to see Mingi watching you with confusion and calling your name.
The next second you were climbing into his lap and holding onto him, sobbing into his shoulder as he held you. Something was very wrong, you could feel it, but without those last pieces of the puzzle you couldn’t do anything.
Mingi held you until you both fell asleep, Yunho not once waking up despite your cries.
What was stranger was the fact Mingi didn’t completely freak out when you both woke up, but that might have to do with the fact you weren’t in bed when he did as you woke up just a bit before him. He had scrambled back to the wall and was staring at you with trembling eyes, but he didn’t scream or yell or cry. He just watched you with obvious fear until you left.
None of the orderlies had been around and you made it back to your room safely. There you just contemplated what to do. If you couldn’t get answers from Yunho, then you had to get them elsewhere.
There was only one other person who could indulge in that, even if he didn’t have all the answers. 
Doctor Kim Junmyeon.
They started these experiments not to fix the patients but to do what you have been doing: They wanted to get to that realm, and to Yunho.  Why didn’t matter, not entirely, but if they thought they could get there that means they had an idea.
You sought him out the first chance you could get, demanding to any of the guards or orderlies to see him, and he was stepping into your room that evening.
“You wanted to see me, Seventeen?” Doctor Junmyeon had even avoided you since then, though you didn’t know why. Shouldn’t he have been happy he was right about Yunho showing his true colors.
That he was a beast to be feared?
Not that you feared him, not until you knew for certain what was going on.
“You said you wanted to get to Yunho. I want to help.”
His face lit up, smiling as he quickly closed the distance and was back to calling you by your name. You didn’t like it though, the sudden change, it made you wary. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, though I’m not sure how I can help. You know how though, right?” Gently you grabbed his hands, feigning admiration as you stared up at him. You once admired him, perhaps you still did, but all you knew was that they wanted Yunho and you didn’t want them to have him.
“Yes yes, we have a way.”
“What is it?” You stepped closer, placing a hand on his chest. “What do I have to do?” He hesitated then, his larger hand now over yours as he took a deep breath. “I need to talk to my superiors but we suspect you have the ability to open the door again. When it’s open, we should be able to go in and travel completely.” “What if he hurts you? Like he did-” You swallowed, stepping away suddenly with a dramatic act of hesitation. It wasn’t them you were worried about, but Yunho. The other man had a gun, if a hoard of men went in with weapons they could kill him. 
“It’ll be alright, we have a plan though we hope to have him alive. Give me the night to talk it over?” Junmyeon patted your head softly, then let it slide down to cup your cheek and lift your head.
You blushed at his actions, only because you thought of Yunho touching you like this. Maybe it would all work out? Maybe this would all work out and no one would get hurt. Maybe doing what they said was really the right thing to do.
You had a night to figure it out.
Unfortunately you didn’t dream of Yunho and the other realm, instead it felt like you were floating in a dark space for hours on end, the only sound was a child crying.
It left you uneasy for the day, impatiently waiting for Junmyeon to fetch you for the evening. When he did, you found all other patients were in their rooms, an orderly standing in front of each door with two guards at both ends of the hall. Not once had you seen that before and it had you worried even more. 
Intuition told you something big was going to happen and it might not end well. It felt wrong, your stomach twisting with nerves as you were lead to a door that patients could never pass but the staff did.
Then you went down.
Only a floor or two from the elevator, Junmyeon using his ID card to pass through more security doors with grates on them- on both sides.
Down the hall, the silence and presence of more guards unnerving you even more. THis was bad, you had no doubt in your mind.
He led you to another pair of grated doors, the room inside start white aside from a giant rock in the center- no, not rock, part of a building. It was surrounded by machines that held it still, a brick wall and the ground around it, but the most significant part was not the wall.
There was a hand jutting through what appeared like a crack that gleamed a steel blue, the faintest of lights illuminating every crack that stemmed from it. The hand however-
You did not need to ask Junmyeon to tell you whose hand it was, the velvet blue suit you saw peeking around the wrist was enough.
Stumbling back you pressed a hand over your mouth, eyes wide as the realization shook you to your core.
These were the answers you wanted. This was the puzzle piece, solidifying your suspicions already.
You were from there, and Yunho had gone after you. After all of you.
“Do you think you can open it?” Junmyeon said next to you, placing a hand on the small of your back.
Could you?
You would try. 
As an answer you moved around the railing and down the metal steps, swallowing harshly to try and wet your throat, the amount of guards in the room even more unnerving.
They knew what Yunho was capable of. They knew he was a threat and as soon as you opened that door, they knew he would be angry.
You approached the wall, realizing it was larger than it looked from the door. Wires were connected to it, dangling off to machines that showed data you couldn’t decipher. None of it mattered, not when you had to tilt your head back to look up at Yunho’s hand, outreached as if to try and grab something. You had a feeling it had been you.
“Okay, I can do this. Just open the door.” Mumbling to yourself you focused more on the blue cracks that seemed to pulse. They pulsed faster when you ran a finger over the stone, and you could feel that same pulsing in your chest.
Home was just through these cracks.
Following your instincts, and pure desire to do so, you reached up, needing to stand on your toes to reach him. Fingers grazing his, the stone reverberated with the touch. It was when you jumped and grabbed his hand fully there was an explosion of power.
What was happening to your surroundings was the least of your concerns, the pulses of powers rushing out like shockwaves as the stone began to creak and crumble, opening up. There were shouts and screams, someone calling out your name, but it was all background noise.
Memories flooded your head. Who you were, the life you had on the other side with many of the people that were here. But mostly Yunho.
You were just kids when you both got your abilities, both responsible for the state of the realm. Both tied to it.
But only you could leave.
Memories of dreams in this world, meeting a man who took interest in the fact you could simply disappear. As a child you trusted him, telling him the truth.
And he took advantage of that. Lured you to open up a gate for him. But you couldn’t do that without Yunho.
The bloodshed happened in waves as men much like the ones around you swarmed into your home. They grabbed the other kids, ones you recognize, and many many others. The adults that fought got killed. Your parents got killed.
All because of you.
Yunho had only defended, the beast of his tearing apart the men even as you were yanked from him. You hadn’t protested then, not as a child, letting the intruders take you from him. The anguish of his screams as he killed and maimed trying to get to you rang so clearly in your head now.
They twisted to the screams of others, bringing you to your senses as you found yourself on the ground underneath Yunho, cradling your head with one hand while the other held him above you. There was blood on his cheek, eyes practically glowing with the lust and anger in them.
“Yuyu-”
“I’m here, my dove.”
Gingerly you reached up to wipe the blood off his cheek, frowning with concern. “Are you hurt?” “Not my blood.” He nudged his chin to the side to avert your attention. “Theirs.”
The guards were dead, ripped to pieces like the man you brought over, but not everyone was dead.
An alarm was ringing, someone calling out to you. Ah, Junmyeon, he’s still alive. You heard the door latch and lock, growing concerned for you both now.
“Yuyu, the others- Mingi and-”
“I know. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be right back.” He was off you in seconds, bursting through the doors and down the hall after the doctor you almost trusted. 
The pools of blood and mutilated bodies meant nothing to you as you surged to your feet as well, concerned only for Yunho. Gunfire was heard and you caught up in time to see the slaughter.
With his bare hands - no claws - Yunho ripped a man’s arm off and threw it at Junmyeon, knocking him down before he got to the second set of doors. You took note of other doctors scrambling over him, but Yunho charged forward with a beastly roar. 
The bullets were flung away by the shadow being around him, little tendrils stopping them and deflecting them right back to the guards that shot them. Yunho took care of the other staff himself. 
Despite still having the features of a human, his hands had massive claws and there was a ferocity to his movements and expressions that was inhuman. Blood covered the white walls, screams and the sounds of flesh tearing and bones being crushed echoed in your eardrums.
And yet you found the sight of Yunho so utterly beautiful in carnage that you had to snap yourself out of it.
Not a single man made it to the elevator, their dying breaths long spent and only Yunho’s heavy pants and the blood dripping from his claws filled the space. Well, paired with your own racing heartbeat and shallow breathing.
Fear did not hit you until he turned to you, a wild look in his eyes. “Now You.” He growled out, taking a step in your direction while wiping blood from the side of his mouth with the bloody sleeve.
You ran back down the hall without a thought, the guilt hitting you once more and fully expecting Yunho to seek his revenge on you. You destroyed your home after all, and left him abandoned there. All alone.
As if you could outrun him though, tripping over your own feet and slipping in the blood that was everywhere now. The wind was knocked out of you as you hit the ground, white gown soaking up more of the blood beneath you as you tried to scramble back to your feet.
Where would you even go though?
The floor beneath you shook as he pounced on top of you, hands on either side cracking the floor. He snarled just behind your ear, the sound stilling your every movement and halting your breath in your throat.
Would he kill you now?
“Yuyu?”
“Finally…” He pressed his nose to your shoulder, slowly running it down your back, breath hot against your skin. “Finally I can touch you.”
With a cry you felt pain running up your spine, though nowhere near as much as you were expecting. The gown was torn and you had claw marks on your skin from how he had ripped it off. You turned your cheek to try and steal a glance, just to see him being far more gentle with pulling his pants down.
“Yu-”
“Sh, don’t resist, little dove. Otherwise this is going to hurt much more than it will.” 
You saw it then, his cock springing free and hitting your ass. It was heavy, curved, and huge. Bigger in person. 
He wasn’t going to kill you he-
Two of his fingers pushed into you with ease, his other hand holding your hands above your head. “Hold them there. Good.” Now three fingers, pumping into you at a painful pace, the harsh stretching bringing tears to your eyes. You pleaded for him, full on sobbing when he pushed a fourth in. “I know I know. But you smell too fucking good. Like them though. Need to get rid of that.”
Hiccuping as you were full on sobbing, you only pleaded his name, but not once did you say no.
Not even as his fingers were pulled out and he thrust himself inside. You howled, squirming and trying to get away now at the pain. “Too much- too much Yuyu can’t take it!”
“Yes you can. You’re going to fucking take it. As punishment.” Inch by inch one hand on your hip and pulling you back onto his cock more and more.
“But-”
“You left me there!” He cut you off, thrusting his full length that bulged out your stomach. “And then dared to taunt me with your presence? When I couldn’t touch you? I couldn’t kiss you, fuck you, love you.” He growled out, both hands now gripping the marble enough it turned to rubble beneath his hands.
“I know. I know I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Yuyu.” You sobbed out, trembling beneath him as your cunt tried to get accustomed to his size. “I was lost without you, and I just wanted to go home.”
He pressed his forehead to the back of your head, panting heavily. You could tell he was trying to hold back, knowing this would be much worse. “Promise you won’t ever leave my side again?”
“Promise.” No hesitation. You reached for his hand, wrapping your fingers around just one of his and was meant with a warning growl, but he didn’t stop you. Twisting yourself a bit, you brought his hand to your throat, holding it there as you looked back at him. “You’re my home, and I won’t ever doubt that again. I accept my punishment, and then I want to take back our city, with everyone.” Tears had streaked through the blood splatters on your cheeks, bottom lip quivering from the pain as it felt like his cock was literally rearranging your insides, but your gaze was unwavering and full of promise.
He gripped your throat tighter and pulled you back, twisting you a bit more to crash his bloody lips to yours. He swallowed up your pained cry as he tested his hips out, his control slipping with every stroke of your lips until you were sobbing from his harsh thrusts.
Staring down at you with a dark eyes that didn’t waver once with each thrust, you forced yourself to do the same. Even as tears ran down your cheeks again, he licked them up, muttering to you that it would be okay, that you were taking it so well.
Before you knew it, it felt good. Too good. Your blubbering sounds of weak protests turned to pleas for more.
When you first creamed on his cock he was pressing your face into the marble and hunching over you, his other hand on your hip and holding it still as he somehow went harder.
You could see through the tears and blood that he was wearing those red shoes, the gems wet with blood that dampened his blue pants as well. It was only a brief thought, immediately shoved out as he slammed his hips down, the bulge so obvious from this angle.
He was probably half in your womb at this point, your tongue lulled out and drool adding to the many liquids beneath you. It was an effort to breathe between the desperate high pitched cries. The pressure on your skull moved to the back of your neck as his hips kept up their brutal pace, balls slapping against your clit again and again until you were coming again on his cock. “Fuck- can’t last when you’re that tight. Years of pent up tension and you’re milking it out of me like it’s nothing.” You could tell he was close by his raspy tone, deep and guttural.
So you begged for it. “Please come. F-Fill me up Yuyu. M-make sure I can never leave you.” Though it was an effort to get the words out between moans as your brain was fucked into mush, the pleasure and slaps to your clit becoming too much once more.
Thankfully that was all it took, a deep cry ripping through his chest and rumbling in his throat as he buried himself deep and really did unload in you. Enough the sizeable bulge seemed to grow, even with the feeling of his cum oozing out around his cock. You could see a few drops fall to the ground between you, despite your own vision black on the edges.
It was enough to have you cumming once more, even harder, with enough juice it pushed him out some and dribbled to the floor to add to the mess there.
He pulled out a moment later and your muscles went limp, body falling on your side as you tried to fight for any sense what-so-ever. He laughed lowly, leaning over to press a surprisingly soft kiss to your temple. “Fucked dumb so easily. So cute of you, my Dove.”
“Wow you really did some damage.” A voice called out but in your current state you had a hard time to place it or even look in the proper direction.
“Glad to see you made it down here Mingi.” Ah right, the others, how could you forget?
Some shuffling and splashes of feet moving through the blood. “Is she going to be alright?”
“It’ll take more than this to end her, she’ll be fine. She’ll get more punishment back home.” A hand patting your ass which you vaguely deduced was Yunho’s. “Are there more of you?”
“Just a small number of us here.” A new voice, ah Hongjoong. “Though we knew right where the gate was when we got our memories, so if there are any others, they’ll come to us. We might want to make sure the gate is safe for them to come to.”
Someone knelt down before you and poked your forehead, drawing your attention. You looked up at a familiar smile. “Though with the gate open, we have our abilities again. Shouldn’t be hard to defend it. And our sweet Princess should be able to locate the others. What do you say? Ready to clean up your mess?”
You were picked up in the next second, cradled in large arms. The bloody velvet suit was easily distinguishable. “Yuyu?”
“I don’t want to risk the gate falling in the wrong hands. Let’s head back and rebuild. Shouldn’t be hard to open another gate once we’re back to full power.” Yunho was already carrying you back to the portal and the idea of going home filled your weary bones with warmth.
“I have to say though- I don’t want to just return and forget about this world.” Hongjoong added, glancing around at the carnage. “I’ve seen a lot of fucked up shit here, plenty of people treating me, treating us, like scum.” There were a few that called out their agreement.
It reminded you of your own struggles growing up in this world, of not one but two betrayals, and it had you stopping Yunho. “I agree with Hongjoong. I know I was the one who brought them there, but they took everything from us. And only continued to do so over here. This is not enough.” You gestured to the bodies. You stared up at Yunho, the man you desired more than anything else. Slowly his lips twisted into a dark grin that was reflected in his eyes. “I see, then when we return for our brethren, let us show them horrors are always waiting on the other side.”
These humans destroyed not only their world, but their innocence, and it was something they would pay gravely for.
That was a promise.
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olderthannetfic · 3 months ago
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How do we feel about the "Um just so you know the person you reblogged this from is an [insert undesirables category here]"? When it's some random meme or otherwise uncontroversial post, and not some elaborate political opinion post with a bunch of dogwhistles in it.
Because I just got it from a fandom acquaintance/friend and it felt really fucking unsettling.
Aside from the mutuals that I know from fandom and interact with, most of the other content I interact with on Tumblr is more about what it says than about who said it for me. I don't ever pay attention to who wrote what or which other Tumblr users they had beef with or whatever, I just read the post itself and decide if I like what it says or not. If someone posts something I REALLY dislike, I block them and move on, more in the hopes of seeing less of that sort of thing than with the intention of somehow eliminating that specific person. I never pay attention to who my mutuals are reblogging from and if I note that one of them reblogged something featuring a poster who's famously unhinged, I just assume they don't know and move on because I know my mutuals are reasonable people generally speaking. I like the anonymity of Tumblr and the focus on the content of the posts and not on specific people. It's why I hang out here and not on one of the platforms that are all about influencers and the like.
So today I was going through the blogs of a couple of people I don't follow to find a specific post and in the process I saw a fairly uncontroversial post I liked, reblogged it, and moved on. Then less than an hour later I was met with a wall of text in my DMs accusing that poster of having questionable political opinions and describing the beef they had with another person where they threatened them etc. etc.
TBH I felt incredibly uncomfortable with the level of scrutiny implied in paying attention to who I reblog random shit from, as well as the level of presumption in coming to my DMs and lecture me about it. I know nothing about the blogger they were talking about, have never interacted with him, and will probably never even have the opportunity or the desire to interact with him. He wasn't even the AUTHOR of the post, it was just on his profile. It makes me want to never post anything ever again.
I just... don't see the point of this sort of behaviour in general? "You shouldn't be giving [bad people] a platform" - look, I genuinely don't think that reblogging a pretty landscape from someone who turns out to be a TERF or whatever is platforming those beliefs in any way. I'm sorry, but I just don't see how my behaviour leads to any material harm to anyone. Even if I follow the person, the moment they start talking about TERF-y shit I'm gonna unfollow and/or block. The probability of me throwing all my well-developed political opinions down the drain and getting radicalized through the slippery slope of reblogging "CATS ARE SO CUTE WHEN THEY SWAT AT THINGS" from someone with a dogshit take about Palestine is literally zero. If it's the content of the post that's wrong, just explain why to me, or point out the dogwhistles or whatever. I'm open to being wrong in my opinions. I'm not open to my online friends acting like the fucking Stasi.
Maybe I'm just too old for these newfangled social politics but it just feels like either pointless catty high school drama or an attempt at social control that I can't help but interpret in a hostile manner. Even if it's followed by - as it was in my case - something along the lines of "obviously I'm not accusing YOU of anything!! I'm sorry it came off that way!!" when I pushed back against it. It feels like 1950s conservative housewives making sure you're not even greeting any of the town Undesirables at the grocery store, because you wouldn't want to be Morally Tainted by saying Hello to a divorcee!
It's kind of similar to the whole issue about people still writing HP fic. Am I interested in HP fic? TBH not at all - the author had soured it for me with her behaviour even before it was obvious how much she hated trans people. Do I think the people doing it are somehow harming anyone or putting money in JKR's pocket? I honestly can't see how, and so far none of the people adamantly against it have managed to explain it to me in a satisfying way, so I'm just gonna let it slide off me as another random internet hobby I don't get or care about.
--
My reaction is "Do you understand how Tumblr works? Do you?"
We have enough trouble with people reblogging barely-hidden anti-kink or homophobic shit. Who has time for cootie-based problems?
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jewish-vents · 9 months ago
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I was adopted by Jewish people and converted to Judaism when I was a teenager. The morality Judaism offers has guided me through navigating my personality disorder, my severe alexithymia, my impaired judgment and my bouts of irrational paranoia. My original family lost custody of me because they beat me senseless, starved me, burned me, broke my bones and actually killed my sister by beating her to death. My girlfriend, a goy, texted me images of alleged victims of the IDF that a single reverse Google image search would have showed her are victims of US military intervention in Syria. And she honestly said, "Sometimes I think it would be better if you hadn't been adopted so you weren't technically sort of part of Israel."
I've never been to Israel but I have been up all night and now, as the dawn breaks, I've come to the conclusion I need to cut her out of my life. My whole life I've struggled with outbursts of anger, it's a part of most Cluster B personality disorders. When she said that I wasn't angry. I felt hollowed out. It feels like she ripped the personhood out of me. Because if you care about a person's well-being, you would never, EVER look at them and go, "I think it would be better if you had stayed with literal child murderers rather than be Jewish, which I am going to conflate not just with Israel but with the image of the IDF spread online". I can't be angry because it's so cruel I can't wrap my mind around it. It seems unreal. I kept checking for hours, convinced I must be having a break from reality because of the stress. I kept thinking it must be a visual hallucination. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and this is going to be a very strange dream.
I know breaking up with her is going to hurt her very badly no matter how nicely I do it. We've been dating a very long time. But I want to have kids someday and I can't do it with a woman who would rather I be dead than be Jewish. I'm not a guy who does the whole "my partner's beliefs have to match mine" thing but I can't raise Jewish children with her. I can't even trust her to see me clearly.
It's taking everything in my power not to say anything to her until I can calm down enough to approach this from a stable place. In my entire life, I don't think a single thing someone has said has ever messed me up so profoundly in my life.
I'm sorry I'm rambling. I can feel that I'm all over the place. Feel free not to publish this if it's too long. I can't imagine how much stress running this blog is. You probably get a bunch of hate and garbage on top of the already hard job of reading everyone's pain. I hope you're taking care of yourself. Thank you for running this blog.
I'm so sorry for all of that. I think you're making the right decision to cut her out. It's very reasonable to worry about how she might treat any children you have in the future, but that was also an indefensibly cruel thing to say to you.
Breaking up might hurt her, but that isn't your fault. You need to take care of yourself. -🐞
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chaos-in-deepspace · 1 month ago
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LADS Xavier: Seasonal Moods | SFW
I've been feeling really off the past few days with a swirl of negative, self deprecating emotions, and decided to attempt to cheer myself up by writing some comfort. The newest event with Xavier really drove home the point to me that he would be the best at helping his depressed partner.
I know I'm probably not the only one who feels like this, and with winter being here I know a lot of us with year round depression if getting hit a bit harder than normal, so if this is you, I hope you can find a little comfort with this fic. Remember you're loved and cherished and the voices in your head feeding you all these negative thoughts are lying to you.
Anyways, I didn't proof read this as I didn't have the energy so I apologize for typos.
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❧ Pairings: Xavier x Reader ❧ Warnings: Depressed Reader, Non Sexual Intimacy, Non Sexual Nudity ❧ Synopsis: Sometimes seasons make sad moods worse, but sometimes people in your life can help make it a little better. ❧ Word Count: 2.2k
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Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.
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Blog Information | Masterlist
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Xavier
Seasonal Moods
You were feeling…some sort of way. It wasn’t a particularly good feeling in you, in fact you’d say it was rather the opposite of good. You felt dreadful, and for no reason other than it was winter. You had less sunlight, colder weather, and with that sometimes came a certain melancholic sadness that washed over you. You just felt…horrible.
Whenever you saw your friends together it felt more like they were almost ignoring you, even Tara seemed more distant from you. You knew logically it was all in your head, that these things weren’t happening, but it didn’t make you feel any better. It was like you were looking at every outing through a glass, you were there but there was something separating you from all the others.
You felt like you couldn’t reach out even if you wanted to. When everyone was having fun it felt like you bringing anything up would ruin the atmosphere. So you began distancing yourself as much as possible. Putting your phone on silent and saying you were asleep or busy when questioned why you didn’t answer, claiming you had something going on when invited out, the whole works. If you were forced to reply in message threads, it was easy enough to have some self confidence and fire at least. As long as you didn’t come face to face with others, most thought you were doing just fine. It did work, for the most part.
There was just one person who didn’t buy the facade.
Xavier.
How he always managed to know when something was slightly off with your mood was a quality in him you both admired and hated. He was your hunting partner, your neighbor, your friend, and possibly something more, but you two hadn’t had that discussion yet. You probably had just spent so much time together in the past few months he was able to easily tell when you were acting different. It shouldn't have surprised you, not with how observant he always seemed to be when it came to you.
You just wished he didn’t care so much, that he couldn’t tell you were depressed. That way you could easily distance yourself from him like you did with everyone else until you worked out your own thoughts and emotions. Sure it might’ve taken all winter to begin feeling better, but at least he didn’t have to see you like this.
He had made a surprise visit while you were in your bed, scrolling through funny videos in an attempt to distract yourself from your thoughts. You had managed to slip up at work and gotten a very minor injury, but it was enough to force you to take a few days off. You hated that more than anything. At least at work it kept you busy so you didn’t have time to deal with your emotions. When you were at home by yourself it seemed to only amplify the darker thoughts in your head.
“Hey,” his soft voice had startled you at first and you flinched, locking your phone and putting it against your chest. You closed your eyes, hoping he hadn’t seen you were awake on your phone. You were laying on your side, facing away from the door to your bedroom, so there was a…low chance.
Then you felt the bed dipping as he sat down, and you felt his hand threading through your hair so gently you leaned into it, “There we are, you are awake after all.” He said, the laugh he had was a little airy and you finally glanced at him. He was wearing his signature white hoodie at the moment and his hair was a little disheveled as if he just woke up a few minutes ago, “How are you feeling?”
“My side hurts, but other than that it’s fine. I can sleep it off.” You quickly said, slowly leaning away from his hand and placing your head back on the pillow.
“Have you already changed the bandages?”
“Yes.”
“Have you eaten today.”
Silence filled the air as you thought about that. You didn’t even know what time it was, let alone if you hadn’t eaten. The days were melding together, so you weren’t sure. You could see the sun was setting beyond the horizon…or perhaps it was just coming up. You had been doing nothing but bed rotting the past few days, sleeping on and off, and only getting up when you needed to use the restroom or when you realized how dry your throat was. When was the last time you even showered?
“I’ll take that as a no.” He said with another laugh, but this time it was less enthusiastic, “How about I go make you something real fast.”
This had you grabbing his wrist quickly, stopping him in his tracks, “What are you planning on making?” while Xavier had slowly gotten better at cooking foods, using things like the oven or stove top was still a hit or miss situation.
“It’s a bit chilly today so how about some ramen?” he suggested. Xavier could see the way your shoulders seemed to sag in relief at his suggestion. You weren’t particularly hungry, but you knew food would probably be good.
“That sounds good to me.”
“Alright, wait here, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Xavier ran his hands through your hair again, scratching at your scalp and you wanted to flinch away. It was probably oily and gross and you didn’t want him to feel it.
You felt the bed shift again as he got up and the door closed behind him, leaving you alone again. You stared at the wall in silence, wondering if maybe you should get up and tell him he can go home, that you were capable of taking care of yourself right now. It would be a lie, sure, but you didn’t want him fretting over you. You didn’t deserve his attention when you were the one who dug this self deprecating hole yourself.
You didn’t have the energy though, and instead just laid there and waited for him to come back. Once again you didn’t know how much time had passed, it could’ve been hours or even seconds, it all felt relatively the same to you. The door opened back and you could smell the savory ramen, he had made one of your favorite flavors…again he was far too observant. The bed dipped and you heard items being placed on the nightstand next to you.
“Come on, let me help you sit up.” Xavier said, slowly lifting your body into a sitting up position. You felt him grabbing pillows to help prop you up in the bed and you sighed when the warm ramen was placed in your hands alongside chopsticks, “Eat up, I’m sure you’re starving without even realizing it.” He said. You glanced back at him, noticing how he was eating as well, blowing on the steaming noodles before taking a bite.
You followed the motions, noticing that, for some odd reason, the food tasted a little better than usual. The moment you took the first bite it was like your body kick started and you realized you were pretty damn hungry. You two ate in silence side by side on your bed, and by the time you finished you were being handed a nice cool glass of water to sip on. He let you just be for the time being, not saying anything but just being there. He helped clean up the empty containers and when he came back to the room he was shifting you again, picking you up.
Your hands found purchase around his shoulders, “Xavier, what are you doing?” you quickly ask, not understanding why you were suddenly being carried somewhere.
“To the shower.” It was simple enough of a statement, but you felt a wash of shame overtaking you. So he had noticed, of course he did.
You gave a strained laugh, “I must smell pretty bad if you’re dragging me to the shower…sorry about that.” You murmured, trying to make light of the situation.
“You don’t smell bad,” He quickly stated, “and even if you did, I don’t mind.” The door to the bathroom opened and he placed you on top of the counter, “I just realized you probably hadn’t had the energy to do it, so I’m helping.”
Your face felt a bit hotter now as you avoided him, “I’m not that injured.” You muttered under your breath.
“It’s not the injury I’m worried about.” Xavier was already working your clothes off, tossing the fabrics you’d been wearing for days off to the laundry basket you kept in the bathroom. It was almost overflowing with clothes at this point, and while you wanted to be embarrassed being stripped bare in front of him, his eyes weren’t focused on your body. He was more focused on taking care of you, which you didn’t know if it made you feel better or worse.
“Then why are you fussing over me so much if it’s not because of the injury?” you finally asked, watching as he went to turn the shower on to a warm temperature.
He began taking his own clothes off as he answered you, “You haven’t been yourself lately. Tara had even come up to me and asked if you were alright. I was going to wait a bit and see if you’d reach out, but I can’t wait too long when I knew you were here by yourself.” He explained, “You haven’t answered my messages like normal, and any time I try to make plans you say your busy, I got worried.”
His words were earnest and made you feel even worse about yourself. Congratulations to you, you’ve managed to make the sweetest man you knew feel bad and worry over nothing.
“I’m sorry…” it was all you could say as he began dragging you into the shower. His hands were already working on getting your hair wet so he could properly wash it for you. He didn’t know your entire hair routine, but at the very least your scalp would be clean. Anything else could be taken care of when you felt better.
“Don’t apologize.” He said, his words a bit sterner, “I’m not upset with you. You’re allowed to reach out whenever you want, or not at all. It won’t change the fact that I care about you and wanted to make sure you were okay.” He explained.
“If I hadn’t been so distant though, you wouldn’t be so worried.” You explained, “It’s my fault.”
“Is it also your fault that your brain decided to make you sad for no reason?”
“Yes.”
“No, it isn’t.” He said, rinsing out shampoo from your hair and putting in some conditioner, “It’s not. Sometimes things just happen. I wanted to be here for you, it’s as simple as that. I’ll continue being here for you as well, whether your sad or happy, and that’s of my own free will. You have nothing to apologize for, besides, I like being able to take care of you like this. I wish it were under better circumstances, but that’s no fault of yours.” He explained.
You didn’t know what to say, honestly, so you didn’t say anything at all. Instead you just let him wash you, and then you were being wrapped up in a fluffy towel and dried. The hoodie he had some in was placed over you, the smell of him taking over your senses. He put on the blue shirt he always wore underneath it and finished getting you two dressed. He went back to carrying you, but instead of going to your bedroom, he carried you out into your living room.
There were a lot of things you expected, but seeing a giant blanket fort with fairy lights, the TV on with a movie already prepared, and some soothing smells coming from an oil diffuser that you were certain you didn’t own…it hadn’t been what you expected.
He placed you down onto the soft blankets and you noticed a box of mini cupcakes next to you, all of them having cute designs in an assortment of flavors, “Tara bought those for you,” Xavier said, “She said when you’re feeling better she wants to take you to this new bakery that opened up, that’s where those came from.”
“I should message her soon.”
“I’m sure she’d appreciate hearing from you, but for now.” You felt Xavier getting into the fort with you, pulling you against his chest as he started an older movie. It had cartoon characters and you recognized it as one of your favorites growing up. You were certain you had only spoke of it once with him, but of course he remembered, “Let’s just relax for the rest of the night, okay?” he said.
“Ya…I  like the sound of that.” You got out. You still felt a bit numb, still felt off. It did make you feel better though, especially when you saw some lights from his evol, a little bunny he made, bouncing around. It was enough to make you genuinely smile for the first time in a while. Perhaps…being taken care of wasn’t so bad.
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