#it's the adhd
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rhinocio · 2 years ago
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sincerest form of flattery
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moonslitmuse · 17 days ago
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when you're in a fic wip competition and your opponent is me. abbott elementary inspired jayvik teachers au, complete with mockumentary cuts! the sixth-graders he's in charge of are going to eat him alive
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valiantstarlights · 2 years ago
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(Sorta Kinda) Little Mermaid AU
Dream is the king of Atlantis, Orpheus is his only son who is all about that land stuff, and Hob is a (human) thief being transported with other convicts to a penal colony.
Orpheus likes to stalk all the ships that enter Dream's territory. He's always looking for new land stuff merch to add to his growing collection: human apparel, shiny trinkets, barrels of rum, sentient beings to adopt...
He really likes it when it storms because stuff falls overboard! And when the entire ship sinks? It's like the local mall just announced a 100% off sale of every item ever. Blood is to a shark as land stuff is to Orpheus. He goes fucking nuts about it.
And it just so happens that the ship carrying Hob is passing through Dream's territory.
So as Orpheus stalks this one ship, the Karmic Justice Or Something Like That, he sees Hob looking dirty and miserable on deck. But like, come on, he's still Ferdinand Kingsley so of course he's still handsome. And Orpheus is like, 'If anything falls overboard, I hope it's that one.'
His wish is granted. One night, a violent (non-magical) storm hits the ship, and Orpheus swims straight to Hob, who was one of the humans thrown overboard. Then, through some merfolk magic, he gives Hob the ability to breathe underwater and withstand oceanic pressure.
And then he cheerfully drags the very confused two-legged human back to Atlantis.
(RIP to the other humans who weren't as pretty as Hob.)
Hob is understandably going ????. Is he dead? Is this hell? Oh lord there is a kingdom under the sea, and merfolk are just like humans but instead of legs they have fish tails.
Freaky.
But! Before Orpheus could have his wicked way with him (because of course he'd want to), the TSA guards of Atlantis spot them, and they do their jobs and bring the prince and his illegal cargo to the throne room (for the 4th time this month), where Dream is of course fucking livid that Orpheus dragged not just another illegal upperworlder stuff, but an actual human back to Atlantis.
Orpheus does the whole 'But Daddy I love him!' speech while Hob is floating on the side being like, "We literally just met and you kidnapped me."
"I kidnapped you from certain death!" Orpheus says.
Dream has no time for this. He may have been lenient on Orpheus adopting drowning sentient upperworlders in the past, but after he stole Dream's symbol of power in order to turn Aristaeus the goat into a mergoat and failed (because he's not powerful or focused enough), Dream is going to have to intervene.
"You love this human?" Dream asks his son.
"Yes, Father," Orpheus answers promptly.
"You want him to be a part of this family?"
"Yes, Father."
"Then give him to me," Dream says. "I'm going to have him for a year, and if at the end you still love him, I will turn him into a merman."
"Don't I have a say in this?" Hob asks.
"Of course you have," Dream says. He even inclines his head like an asshole nobleman. "Decide whether you want to agree to this deal or die right now of drowning and oceanic pressure."
Hob looks around at all the shiny things and decides, fuck it. He's gonna live and he's gonna steal from these half-fish bastards and escape back to civilization and live a rich man's life. So he agrees to the deal.
Orpheus sulkily agrees as well. A contract is drawn. It looks less ominous than Ursula's contract with Ariel, being in bullet list form in very readable dyslexic-friendly font.
Hob has to spend an entire year with Dream and be whatever he wishes him to be (like a servant or chauffeur or whatever, which Hob is fine with as long as they shelter him and feed and clothe him well),
Orpheus has to spend an entire year away from Atlantis and vacation in the other Endless siblings' territories ("Because distance makes the heart grow fonder!" Orpheus claims), and
Dream has to spend an entire year with Hob, test his loyalty, intelligence, wine pouring skills(?), etc. (If he's joining the family, Dream needs to know what exactly he's going to be dealing with for eternity.)
...and at the end of the year, if Orpheus still 'loves' Hob, then Dream is going to turn Hob into a merman and he's gonna live the rest of his life as Orpheus's human-turned-merfolk companion.
If Orpheus doesn't 'love' him anymore, then Hob is free to go. He can return to the human world with some compensation in the form of precious jewels, or if he decides he likes it here in Atlantis, then he's free to stay as a companion-free merman.
All three of them sign. Orpheus swims away accompanied by some bodyguards to his uncle-aunt Desire's territory, determined to 'love' Hob until the year is over.
Hob is left behind with Dream, who doesn't really know what to do with him. Should the human be his cupbearer? A guard? Puffer fish juggler during feasts?
"Do you have any skills?"
"I'm good at stealing," Hob answers, because it's true and he's not ashamed of it. They better be prepared to get things stolen from them.
Dream sighs. "Anything else?"
Hob considers the huge merman before him, easily twice the size of his son(?), and decides, you know what? Yeah. Why the fuck not? If he's gonna be stuck in this guy's company for a year, he's going to be such a thorn in his side and make it so awkward that the king would be forced to send him back (with precious jewels) to the 'upper world' before the year is done.
"I'm good at sucking cock," Hob says, because it's also true. "That is, if you folk have similar appendages."
Dream has a lightbulb moment. Hob is easy on the eyes, and with only a thorough scrubbing and some meals, fine clothing for his body, elegant hair accessories, he would look very fine and presentable indeed. And moreover, it would mark him as Dream's personal concubine. In a year, (and even if Orpheus had object permanence), his son wouldn't want him.
It's actually very unlikely that Orpheus would still 'love' him by year's end, anyway, even if Dream doesn't make Hob his concubine. Orpheus is very distractable and is capable of moving on quickly. (Aristaeus the goat, for example, had only been mourned for ten whole minutes.)
Satisfied, Dream smirks at the human before him, tosses his long hair over his shoulder a bit like the slut he is, and says, "Are you offering your services to me, little human?"
And of course it's only now that Hob sees Dream's beautiful face and sexy upper body, which has previously been hidden under his curtain of long dark hair. (In Hob's eyes, he had been dealing with a male Sadako underwater. Please give him a break. It's been a very stressful day.)
Hob realizes that he has severely miscalculated. Because even now, he wants to lick whatever appendage this gorgeous creature has. A year? He's gonna want to be here for eternity because holy shit the king is gorgeous and a total DILF.
They fuck. Because of course they do. Right there on the throne room. Everyone's seaweed salad is ruined.
(But fr, Hob is having the time of his life. Dream and his cock are so huge it brought out Hob's latent size kink tendency, and he can shapeshift as well. Hob gets fucked with dozens of new and exciting appendages. There's like an entire Bad Dragon catalogue down there.)
Dream announces that he'll be working from home for an entire year and assigns Lucienne, Jessamy, and Matthew to oversee things he wouldn't be able to for that duration because he's Busy.
He says this over ye olde Atlantean seashell cellphone as he's fucking Hob into the mattress.
When Dream has to show himself to grant Atlantean citizens their weekly audience, he does so with Hob warming his dick as he sits on the throne.
Thankfully, Atlantean citizens are less prudish than upperworlders, because if they get turned on, they just masturbate right then and there, no problem at all. Really, as long as anyone doesn't touch Dream or Hob, then it's fine.
Hob, prudish upperworlder that he was, discovers that he thrives in this kind of exhibitionist play. He realizes that he loves being on display and seeing Dream's subjects pleasure themselves while looking at them. (Even Corinthian, the head of the royal guards, jerks off just a step down from the throne, eyes on the place where Hob is joined with Dream. Hob doesn't know if Corinthian wants to be Hob, be Dream, or be sandwiched in between the two of them. He doesn't ask because Dream is obviously a jealous bastard.)
And every day that passes, Hob gets increasingly addicted to Dream (not just his cock/s), and Dream is increasingly growing fonder of Hob. They realize that they actually like spending time together, even when they're not physically connected.
Dream laughs (his creepy frightening laugh) over Hob's stupid upperworld jokes, wonders at Hob's unconventional solutions to his citizens' problems, and mourns with him when he finally tells Dream about why he became a thief in the first place.
Meanwhile, Hob listens well to Dream's personal problems and never gives advice unless Dream asks him to, gives Dream new songs to sing and melodies to play, and holds him whenever he dreams of the night Orpheus's mother was taken from them and killed by upperworlders hundreds of years ago.
It's so very clear that they're meant to be together, but they're pretty stupid and don't realize that they have fallen in love with each other.
The Atlantean citizens grow to respect Hob and not just lust after him from afar. He's very kind, and the unconventional upperworlder solutions he proposes when Dream is giving an audience work out surprisingly well. Soon, he's being referred to as Consort Hob, and is given gifts of gratitude. Just small but heartfelt things like fresh produce and homemade jams.
Hob likes being given gifts. A thing that Dream notices early on so of course he immediately sets out to spoil Hob. (Especially when he found out that Hob grew up impoverished.) Does he care that he's one-upping his own citizens with his lavish gifts? No. A subject's gift is different from a lover's, and Hob likes all the gifts anyway. He doesn't even complain when Dream tears off his own gifts from his body only a minute after Hob puts them on.
As the year is slowly coming to an end, they fuck more often, and lowkey desperately.
Hob thinks Orpheus will still want him at the end of the year. Dream thinks Hob will want to go back to the human world and he'll never see him again.
As we have previously established, they're both idiots, so they only confess their true feelings to each other like, on the day before Orpheus is set to return. And then, knowing that their feelings are requited after all, they fuck again, but this time it's the slow and very gentle lovemaking (TM) kind of sex that lasts the entire night full of soft 'I love you's and new sensitive spots to discover and obsess over. It's great. We want what they have but we also love that they have it with each other.
In the morning, Dream is determined to persuade Orpheus to give Hob up (in the unlikely event that Orpheus still wants Hob), and Hob is determined to stay with Dream and willing to help Orpheus find someone else.
All their worrying is for naught because Orpheus returns with Eurydice (a mermaid) in tow, and says that they got married like...11 months ago.
Dream is a little hurt that he wasn't invited to his own son's wedding, but Orpheus tells him he could just marry her again. It's not like they're lacking funds or need to fill up 10,000 government forms.
Hob is just so relieved that he almost kisses Eurydice in gratitude. (He doesn't because Dream is a jealous bastard who will no doubt misunderstand this very upperworld gesture.)
Dream tells Orpheus that he's gonna marry Hob. Orpheus says okay and is very chill about it. Dream tells him that it would mean that Hob is going to be his stepfather. Orpheus needed a moment to process and come to terms with that, but comes out of his shock still supportive.
Eurydice is a very nice merwoman who is also supportive of Dream and Hob's union. They find out that her family's kelp farm benefitted from Hob's advice so now Orpheus is definitely pro-Hob.
And then they get married! Dream with Hob and Orpheus with Eurydice (again). There may or may not be babies that resulted from Dream and Hob's very vigorous union--that depends on the reader's personal preference, but the point is that they all lived happily ever after. ✨️
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stgroversfire · 2 months ago
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btw the jingyi's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day fic got. a little out of hand. and now there's an actual antagonist and im like "ill do right by mo xiang and put thought into the villain!" which kind of structured the whole plot and-
i sure have a lot of work to do!!
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softleesam · 2 years ago
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rb if you're neurodivergent and just need to lay in the floor sometimes
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pianokantzart · 10 months ago
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I'm so sorry
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whatchamarkallit · 4 months ago
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PSA for the homies
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leavingautumn13 · 8 months ago
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more maxie on maxie violence featuring my asher and @ghostfacedbat's ashbourne
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katsigian · 6 months ago
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I NEED TO CREATE❗️❗️
says the person who currently has 8 ongoing oc projects and is stalling out because they want to get them all done in the next ten minutes but will not and it's irritating them since they have nothing to share yet
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kycdai · 8 days ago
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last night i actually had to check tomoko's bio to remind myself of how old she was
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aqua-dan · 3 months ago
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Guys, I think my aquafam brainrot is getting worse
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da2supremacy · 22 hours ago
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Philia 5 or Ludus 2 for the types of love ask game, if you like!
What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?
Meinrad's worldstate is an unfortunate one because Harding made the sacrifice and Harding *WAS* their best friend. Their most fervent wish for their bestie can't come true because that wish is that Harding was alive.
So they've taken it upon themself to look after Taash. Not that they wouldn't have anyway because Taash is also a beloved friend of theirs but Taash lost their mother AND their girlfriend in quick succession. While it's probably not accurate to say they're alone now they could use having someone in their corner and Meinrad would like to think that Lace would appreciate it.
That's how the two of them get the idea to go searching post game in the Deeproads to see if they can find a Titan and commune with (potentially) Lace's consciousness in The Stone. Meinrad was a Warden for a good decade. They can probably remember their way through a few of these Thaigs. It's a GREAT idea and they won't hear everyone anyone saying otherwise.
They prematurely age Emmrich by years with every expedition. But...Denial is an important part of grief right...? They're so good at it, ya know...?
I don't think Sulanni is in touch with her feelings enough to actually have a fervent wish on behalf of her friends but she is very concerned for Lucanis. I think her wish for his safety when he's the FIRST TALON and he can't even dispose of a single traitor probably leads her to getting herself into a bit of trouble with incessant meddling in Lucanis' affairs post game. The only person who hates it more than Caterina is Viago because WHY is his protege doing so much for a DIFFERENT house? But all of Caterina's attempts on her life are worth it to ensure Lucanis' survival. This is really Caterina's fault for putting a proverbial herbivore in the place of an apex predator.
Her most fervent wish is obviously to be the maid of honor at the Nevcanis wedding.
Thistle's fervent wish is to stay together. After the gods are gone there's plenty of work to do on a macro scale. Institutions that were once sacrosanct have been dismantled and the world's old prejudices and injustices did not go away overnight. They have each conquered a major issue in their path and they've put a foot forward with renewed conviction. She's so proud of them but she's also worried that the absence of a common goal might pull them all apart.
Sometimes that's just life. She has to remind herself that even if they don't see each other as much they're still in one another's hearts. She makes efforts to plan Davrin's funeral first. Early on so it's easier to get everyone together. After that she joins the book club herself, organizes a few get togethers. Lucanis loves cooking after all. As time goes on the anxiety eases. It turns out that the key to granting that wish is just to hold your hand out as often as you can.
Is your OC particularly skilled at flirting? Have they had to practice this or does it just happen naturally?
Sulanni is a crow so of course she's had training for these sorts of things. She's a good looking lady and she's more than happy to use the racial profiling of "pretty elves" to finish a contract on the type of rabble who would go around having a fetish for elves. Honestly it's hard to say where the Crow's training ends and Sulanni's natural inclinations begin. She has trouble turning it off and flirts continuously without any intentions whatsoever. Actual emotional vulnerability will throw her off her groove near instantly.
I picked Davrin for her because everyone else's romantic banter was too subtle. This woman has the subtly of a brick through a window. I couldn't do Crow for Crow bc Sulanni would eat Lucanis alive. Sulanni is a femme fatale. She has Davrin hunt her for sport sometimes and when she's getting a little too flippant with the seduction he goes and builds her a piece of furniture to remind her that he's in it for the long haul. And also that she should quit the Crows. He would kill every Crow that came after them. Just think about it, alright?
On the other hand Meinrad is the functional opposite. Flirtations bounce off of their impervious force field entirely unnoticed. When they seduce people it's because they lack a filter on their compliments and it's entirely on accident. They're usually halfway into a relationship before they realize what's happening and then they panic and jump ship as soon as possible. It only works with Emmrich because Emmirch makes his intentions clear and asks. Emmrich also implies that he might be interested several scenes before any commitment which gives Meinrad time to mull it over and decide, "Hey, you know what? Yeah." If you can't do at least that much it's a like...20% chance they'll even notice and they'll be ready to buy a ring before they understand their own emotions well enough to flirt.
Once in a committed, explicitly stated relationship though it's statements of devotion every other sentence. They're a gay wifeguy. This is truly what Emmrich deserves. Hezenkoss wishes she could vomit.
Thistle is generally not really thinking about this kind of thing but she is determined enough to pull Nevecanis. I don't think her particular brand of flirting would actually work on most people. She's just really okay with the macabre, unbothered by the assassin/mob boss thing and unrelentingly optimistic. She's ace but in more of a "Well I don't really experience attraction but romance is kind of fun and sex is just like, you know, an activity." kind of way. This is probably why her solution to having a crush on two of her friends is to get those two friends together and then see if she can tag along. Flirting is never first on her list but when it happens the sincerity factor makes it pretty devastating.
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punnifullife · 2 days ago
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Idk if you've seen this but I just had to share it with you. it's absolutely amazing.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTY3cdwHj/
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THIS SONG FITS SO WELL WAIT. DONT MAKE ME WANNA ANIMATE, MAN.
funny enough i have planned an animatic with one of the other songs from this musical 😗🎶
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brightlotusmoon · 3 months ago
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Why is the most recent video in my phone of my legs spasming, why does it look like a dance, and why don't I remember taking it?
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nobodysdaydreams · 10 months ago
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Doug Eiffel
...yeah.
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