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cosmicjoke · 6 months ago

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Man, all these people who claim that Levi made the "wrong" choice when he chose Armin, claiming that the outcome of the story would have changed or been different if he'd just chosen Erwin, essentially blaming Levi for the Rumbling, conveniently never have an answer when you actually ask them what Erwin could have done differently to change the outcome. That's because there isn't anything Erwin could have done to change the outcome, short of somehow, magically, discovering what Eren was really planning when no one else could. How Erwin would have been able to do this, who can say, since Eren didn't tell anyone about his plans other than Floch and Historia. I guess Erwin really was just that much smarter than everyone else, including Armin, even though, you know, Armin discovered that Annie was the Female Titan through simple observation and the same with realizing Reiner was hiding in the walls in Shinganshina. Isayama didn't set up Armin's exceptional observational skills for any reason. Nope. Just an arbitrary detail he put in, since Isayama's so known for including superfluous information in his story (insert heavy sarcasm here).

If Armin wasn't able to discover Eren's true intentions, despite being infinitely closer to him than Erwin and spending far more intimate time with him than Erwin would have been able to, why do people think Erwin would have gleaned Eren's true intentions when Armin or the others couldn't? Even Levi, who'd had Eren pegged from the start and understood what he was better than anyone, who's widely acknowledged at being better at reading who people really are than anyone, wasn't able to see what Eren really had planned. Eren himself didn't even know exactly what he had planned until he saw the future, and even then, he remained in deep denial about it, pretending to himself that he wasn't going to go through with it.

But we're supposed to believe, according to these people, that Erwin would have been able to see what Eren had planned when Armin, Levi and even Eren himself didn't know and was in denail over up until the point they were in Marley. These same people also want to claim that Floch never would have been radicalized if Erwin had lived, but that's bullshit. Floch was already radicalized, from having to charge to his death against the Beast Titan. He came out of that situation wanting to make Erwin suffer for leading them on a death charge, under the belief that Erwin was the "devil" they needed in order to win against their enemy. Floch's radicalization had nothing to do with Levi's choice in who to give the serum to. It had to do with how over a hundred soldiers had to give up their lives in order to keep the hope for humanity's future alive, and how Erwin led them and convinced them to do so.

But let's suppose Levi had chosen Erwin, then. Would it have changed Floch's decision to collaborate with Eren?

The answer to that is no.

Either Erwin would have supported Eren's plans or come up with some other, similarly aggressive plan to deal with the outside world, or he wouldn't. If Erwin had refused to deal with the outside world with a mercenary attitude the way Floch wanted (i.e. in a way lacking humanity, wiping out everyone, essentially), Floch would have turned to Eren, and the same outcome would have resulted. Floch never accepted the limited Rumbling plan. That wasn't enough for him. He wanted the whole world wiped out. We see this in the way he intentionally targets innocent civilians during the raid on Liberio. He wanted Erwin to be chosen because he believed that Erwin was devoid of humanity, because of how he'd led 100 new recruits to their guaranteed deaths. Because of that, he believed Erwin would do whatever it took to win, no matter the cost.

If Erwin had shown him something less than that monstrosity, it wouldn't have satisfied Floch. So Erwin choosing to go with Zeke's proposed plan wouldn't have satisfied Floch, either. It wouldn't have been extreme enough for him. The only thing that would have been, would be Erwin choosing to eliminate all of humanity beyond the walls, i.e. going with Eren's actions. If he'd refused anything less than that, again, Floch would have turned to Eren. Either way, they end up down a path of death and destruction.

If people think Erwin would have succeeded in negotiating with Marley where Hange and the scouts failed, again, wrong, because he never would have even been given the chance, just like Hnage and the others were never given the chance, because, again, Eren went rogue and disappeared. Again, unless Erwin was somehow able to magically discover Eren's true intentions before they left for Marley, when up until that point, Eren himself was still in denial over it, then the outcome would have been the same, whether Erwin was with them or not.

People that claim Levi made the wrong choice and "doomed humanity" as a result, also routinely fail to acknowledge just how done Erwin really was. There's a reason Levi talks about not wanting to see Erwin become a "devil". I've talked about this at length already, so I won't repeat myself here. If you want to read more in depth about my thoughts on how Erwin's dream had begun to corrupt him and threaten his humanity, you can do so here: https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/737098651561787392/sorry-to-keep-reblogging-this-it-just-keeps?source=share But to go into it briefly, these same people who want to deny the significant role Armin played in Levi's choice, and how that speaks heavily to how Levi was very much considering what was best for humanity at that point, also want to deny that Erwin was in danger of losing his humanity if he'd been forced to go on living and leading the SC. The denial of this blinds them to the fact that, in Levi's view, what humanity needed was hope. It didn't need a leader who was broken by his own guilt and cynicism and self-loathing.

Just before Levi is about to inject Erwin with the serum, Erwin begins mumbling in a delirious state, talking to his father and asking about the outside world. He's still in the grip of his dream. Still, in his dying moments, possessed by it. He has nothing beyond that. That's what that moment shows us. He's just given up his dream by charging the Beast Titan to his own death, knowing death was the only thing that COULD release him from that dream. While he still drew breath, that dream consumed him. The idea that these people posit is that Erwin would have recovered from the loss of his dream by finding a "new dream" to be drunk on moving forward, and that would have allowed him to continue on as an effective leader. But what this take fails to acknowledge is how Erwin's guilt most assuredly would have been exacerbated by the discovery of the truth, not alleviated by it. He would have been met with the crushing disappointment of what that truth was. Yes, his theory that humanity existed beyond the walls would have been proven true, and thus his father's correctness. But beyond that initial vindication for Erwin, he would have been met with the bleak reality of their situation. That all those lives he'd sacrificed for his dream, for the discovery of the truth, would have amounted to nothing more than the hopeless realization that the rest of the world wanted them all dead. Instead of finding freedom or an answer to their hopes, they'd instead found themselves pushed further into a corner without hope of escape.

That wouldn't have lessened Erwin's guilt, it would have worsened it. There's no way Erwin would have felt that disappointing reality was worth all those lives he'd sacrificed. And that's where Levi's fear came in of what Erwin might become. Why he tells Floch Erwin would have to become a devil if he'd continued on as their leader. He was in danger of losing his humanity to his guilt and self-hatred. He might very well have been driven mad by that guilt without the distraction of his dream to shield him from those negative thoughts and emotions. There's a reason the panels show Levi recalling in this moment asking Erwin what he would do once he discovered what was in Eren's basement, and Erwin answering he didn't know. There's a reason Levi recalls Kenny saying to him that we need something to be "drunk on" in order to continue living. People that claim Erwin would have been fine love to ignore all of this. They love to ignore just how ruinous Erwin's pursuit of his dream had been on his psyche. And I'm not talking about whether the self-loathing he felt was earned or deserved. That question is irrelevant. It's irrelevant because whether deserved or not, it's what Erwin felt. He hated himself, and felt overwhelmed by the guilt of what he'd done, and the discovery of the truth and the realization of his dream wouldn't have assuaged those feelings. It would only have made them worse.

And that was never what humanity needed. It didn't need someone who'd been turned bitter and hopeless and filled with despair, the way Erwin was, that bitterness and despair likely only to become worse with the realization of his dream and its ugly, disappointing reality. His guilt would have only increased with the realization that the world all those soldiers under his command died for, that he convinced to die for, was an impossibility. It would have made him feel all the more as if he'd lied to them all, and sent them to their deaths for nothing. Again, to think Erwin would have been able to easily recovery from this, or move on and continue to lead in the wake of this, is absurd and fails to acknowledge the depth of Erwin's inner turmoil and suffering. To continue on in that role, after these revelations, after the confirmation that he'd convinced all those soldiers to give up their lives for a lie, would only have increased his self-hatred. The very fact he would have had to continue to lead is what would have threatened the loss of his humanity, ultimately, because there's no way he could have continued to operate in that role under that much crushing guilt. Retaining his humanity would have meant drowning in despair. Forfeiting his humanity would have meant turning into Floch or Eren or Zeke. In order to keep operating as the leader of the SC, Erwin would either eventually succumb to his guilt and be rendered useless, paralyzed by his self-doubt and fear, unable to bring himself to tell the lies, or what he believed were lies, required to inspire people to action, or he would truly have had to divorce himself from all sentiment and feeling, uncaring that he was lying and sending people to their deaths for nothing. And that, in the end, would have been a disaster, both for Erwin himself, and for humanity.

Levi says he doesn't regret not choosing Erwin, even as the Rumbling unfolds beneath him, and it's because he knows and fully believes that what humanity needed was someone that still believed in it, someone that still believed in it being worth saving, someone that still believed and had hope in something better, something beyond war and death. That was Armin. That's what Eren's own speech he gives to Levi, trying to convince him to choose Armin, is about. How Armin is this person who can see beyond fighting or thirst for revenge. How he's the person who will save humanity because he believes in that ideal future.

Levi says "I entrusted the future to that kid who had the same look in his eyes as all of you,". He literally says it. "I entrusted the future". He's very literally saying he trusted in Armin to carry humanity forward into the future it needed. That he specifically chose Armin for this purpose. That Armin's idealism was as much a consideration to him as Erwin's own suffering. These people love to talk about Levi saying "I chose this place for Erwin to die" while ignoring him saying later to Erwin "I didn't choose you", meaning he did choose Armin. It was as much a choice for him as it was for Erwin. Both of them weighed equally in Levi's decision. I don't understand how these people that claim Levi's choice was all about Erwin just completely ignore this line. It's so utterly disingenuous to do so and I think they know it. I think they know it's disingenuous to frame Levi's choice as if Armin wasn't just as important and significant in it as Erwin.

And I don't want to hear the argument that Levi was saying Armin's purity and the innocence of his dream was "the same" as Erwin's. Again, this is a disingenuous argument from these people, twisting Levi's words and their context to fit their agenda. Because they know deep down Levi wasn't comparing Armin's purity and the purity of his dream to Erwin, he was comparing it to the collective hopes and dreams of the soldiers of the Survey Corps, to all of his fallen comrades who offered up their lives in the belief it would help create a better, freer world. A "stupidly idealistic world", as Levi puts it. Armin's dream was akin to that. He wanted to see the ocean, he wanted to explore a world he believed was filled with wonders and beauty. He believed, even after the discovery of humanity beyond the walls and the reality of their hostility toward them, that there was beauty and wonder to be found and experienced. He never lost faith in that conviction. Armin's dream was one rooted in hope and belief and joy. That's what made it pure, and that's also why he was able to give it up so readily, because in its innocence, it didn't consume or define him.

Erwin's dream wasn't pure and anyone who claims otherwise is either full of it, or they seriously don't understand Erwin at all. Erwin's dream was never pure, because it was a dream rooted, not in hope and belief or joy, but one rooted in guilt and shame and a longing for atonement. He wanted to discover the truth not because he thought it would lead to a better world or to experiencing something beautiful, but because he was desperate to escape from the crushing guilt he felt over his father's death, and the belief that he was responsible for it. That's the literal opposite of purity. That's wretchedness and shame and self-loathing driving Erwin's dream, from the start. That's not an innocent dream able to be let go, that's a weighted shackle round his neck, threatening at all times to pull him under and drown him. And in the end, that's what had begun to happen to Erwin. That's what his dream had begun to do to him.

Armin encapsulated the dream of the Survey Corps, through his innocence, though the purity of his dream, through his belief that there was still a world out there worth discovering, worth exploring, worth experiencing, despite the bleak reality of their situation. Nobody believed in humanity's worth or its future more than Armin, and that's why he was the right choice. Because humanity needed someone who believed in it and its future. Ignoring Armin's role in Levi's choice is to fundamentally misunderstand why Levi made the choice he did in the first place. It wasn't only for Erwin's sake. It was for humanity's sake, too. And that really is supported, also, by the fact that Levi chose the humane option of not dragging Erwin back into the role that had left him with only more pain and guilt. He chose compassion, both in allowing Erwin to rest, and in choosing a boy who still held hope for humanity.

#Levi Ackerman #Erwin Smith #Armin Arlert #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #analysis #meta #commentary

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queenshelby · 2 years ago

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Forbidden Desire (Part Four)

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader (Female/Incestuous)

Warnings: Incest (at this stage accidental), Age Gap, PTSD, Domestic Abuse, Self-Harm, Fluff, Mild Smut

Words: 5,456

Summary:

This plays after Grace’s death but before Tommy becomes a politician. Lizzie is pregnant with Tommy’s child, so it is somewhere around season four.

In this fic, Tommy suffers from episodes of PTSD and so does the reader, resulting from trauma and abuse. They will help and save each other without realising that their connection is much stronger than they could have anticipated.

There will be love, fluff and smut as well as a highly taboo relationship.

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!

QUESTION: WHO IS TOMMY TO THE READER? WHOOPS!

YOUR POV

The following day, you again, arrived at the gambling den on time only to find out that Tommy was not there and neither were any of his brothers.

Polly and Michael too were absent from the den that day and the only person who barged in at around 9 o’clock was a woman by the name of Linda.

She was blonde and beautiful, with lovely curls and hypnotic eyes. She appeared stressed however and when you introduced yourself to her, she chuckled.

“I know who you are. My husband told me about you this morning” the woman then said and you queried her.

“Your husband?” you asked, not knowing who she was married to.

“Arthur Shelby. He is my husband and I believe that, last night, you met him, at the state library” Linda explained before sitting down and looking through the betting book.

“Yes, I did. He seemed nice” you acknowledged before thinking back to last night which is when Arthur, who happened to be Tommy’s oldest brother, came to find him. He too was in a panic last night, telling Tommy that he found someone they have been looking for. An acquaintance of some sort and, with that, Tommy had to leave rather abruptly.

Leaving you with his car and the key to the library, Tommy said goodbye without a kiss and it was almost like he did not want his brother to know about the fact that he took a liking in you.

Why this was the case, you did not know but, somehow, it was bothering you. You felt as though he was embarrassed by the way he had met you, in less than ideal circumstances and, the idea of Tommy being ashamed of you, was stuck in your head for the entire night.

You got no sleep whatsoever and needed to know the true nature behind Tommy’s intensions. Why was he so afraid of showing his feelings towards you in front of others? Was this just a game to him? Something to kill his boredom with perhaps?

“Y/N” you then suddenly heard Linda as, clearly, you were daydreaming and thinking too much about last night.

“Yes Linda” you responded almost reluctantly.

“Are you alright taking some bets today? Because we will be on our own until 3 o’clock” she then said and you realised that she must have asked you this very same question just seconds ago to which, clearly, you had failed to respond.

“Yes, I can take bets. You may just need to help me write them down. I am okay with numbers, but complex words are a different story” you admitted to her before asking where everyone was.

“There was an incident last night, near the docks in Camden Town” Linda told you but this did not really answer your question.

“What sort of incident?” you thus asked but Linda shrug her shoulders.

“Business I suppose” Linda said. “My husband never really tells me everything but, what I know is that Tommy was shot last night and this is why he isn’t here today. Lizzie cancelled all of his meetings” Linda explained and your chin dropped while fear began to overwhelm you.

“Oh my god Linda. You need to tell me what happened to Tommy” you demanded, but Linda did not, immediately, answer your question.

“So it is true what Lizzie said. You have taken a liking in Tommy” Linda observed instead. “My oh my, little one. You know you don’t stand a chance, right? Tommy is not a man who is faithful. Despite, he is marrying Lizzie, so…” Linda then went on to say but you did not care and repeated your question.

“Linda, is Tommy okay?” you asked again, to which, finally, you received an answer.

“Yes. He is fine. It is not the first time he got shot and the man who shot him is now laying in a ditch somewhere. My husband made sure of that” Linda told him while you were quick to reach for your coat, causing Linda to ask where you were going.

“I need to see him” you told her, causing Linda to roll her eyes.

“No, you don’t. What you need to do is to help me run this office. Tommy will be just fine” Linda said sternly before making an observation. “You have no idea what Tommy does, do you?” she then asked but the question was a rhetorical one. “He may be my brother in law, but he is not a good man” she furthermore said. “It is because of Tommy that my husband is acting the way he does. He had found God after having been jailed for his crimes, but now he is back carrying our Tommy’s dirty work. It’s appalling and you should stay away from him” Linda finally mentioned to you but this was not all she had to say.

“I know about you. I know about your stepfather too. Tommy is looking for him’” Linda revealed and you gasped momentarily in response.

“What are you talking about?” you wanted to know, seeing that you were not aware of any business Tommy had with your stepfather.

“You think that Tommy chose you out of kindness or love?” Linda chuckled after realising how oblivious you were. “Lizzie is right. You are naïve. Your stepfather has a gambling debt with Shelby Company Limited and went into hiding after using a false identity to steal from Tommy’s family business. Tommy wants to recover the debt and make him pay for stealing from him. This is why he needs you” Linda then told you and it all started to make sense now.

Tommy did not like you. He was using you. This was all you were to him.

“I need to go Linda” you then told her as you were trying hard to hold back your tears. You were feeling betrayed and upset by what Linda had told you and, even though you still could not be sure about Tommy’s true intentions towards you, you were almost certain that you were nothing but a means to an end.

To be continued…

Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

Tommy Shelby Tag List:

@fastfan

@elenavampire21

@dolllol2405

@allie131313

@cilliansangel

@coldbastille

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@cdej6

@kathrinemelissa

@landlockedmermaid77

@crazymar15

@damedomino

@lauren-raines-x

@miss-bunny19

@skinny-bitch-juice

@odorinana

@cloudofdisney

@weepingstudentfishhorse

@allexiiisss

@geminiwolves

@letsstarsfalling

@ysmmsy

@chlorrox

@tommyshelbypb

@chocolatehalo

@music-lover911

@desperate-and-broken

@mysticaldeanvoidhorse

@peaky-cillian

@lelestrangerandunusualdeetz

@december16-1991

@captivatedbycillianmurphy

@romanogersendgame

@randomfangirl2718

@missymurphy1985

@peakyscillian

@lilymurphy03

@deefigs

@theflamecrystal

@livinginfantaxy

@rosey1981

@hanster1998

@fairypitou

@zozeebo

@kasaikawa

@littleweirdoalien

@sad-huffle-nerd

@theflamecrystal

@0ghostwriter0

@stylescanbeatmyback

@1-800-peakyblinders

@datewithgianni

@momoneymolife

@mcntsee

@janelongxox

@basiclassy

@chaotic-bean-of-smolness

@margoo0

@vhscillian

@crazymar15

@im-constantly-fangirling

@namelesslosers

@littlewhiterose

@ttzamara

@cilleveryone

@peaky-cillian

@severewobblerlightdragon

@dolllol2405

@pkab

@babaohhhriley

@littleweirdoalien

@alreadybroken-ts

@masteroperator

@stevie75

@shabzy96

@rainbow12346

@obsessedwithfandomsx

@geeksareunique

@laysalespoir

@paigem00

@lkarls

@vamp-army

@luckystarme

@myjumper

@gxorg

@eline-1806

@goldenharrysworld

@cristinagronk16

@stylesofloki

@faatxma

@slut-for-matt-murdock

@tpwkstiles

@myjumper

@cloudofdisney

@look-at-the-soul

@smellyzcat

@kittycatcait219

@theliterarybeldam

@layazul

@lyn07

@kagilmore

@50svibes

@mainstreetlilly

@ourthatgirlabby

@bitchwhytho

@takethee

@registerednursejackie

@sofi128

@mrkdvidal1989

@minxsblog

@heidimoreton

@laylasbunbunny

@queenshelby

@camilleholland89

@forgottenpeakywriter

@vintagecherryt

@indierockgirrl

@mrkdvidal1989

@bluesongbird

@dudde-44

@gasolinesavages

@kissforvoid

@bluebird592

@1eugenia1isabella1

@esposadomdp

@lulunalua23

@lovelace42

@bookklover23

@iwantmyredvelvetcupcake

@moonmaiden1996

@marlenamallowan

@cyphah (cannot tag)

@majesticcmey

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

@throughgoeshamilton

@alessioayla

@elenavampire21

@justforfiction

@cilliansangel

@alannielaraye (cannot tag)

@satellitelh

@simplyreading96

@idledreams

@vic-top

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free-chozo-hrt · 1 year ago

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Let's talk about the retconned lore from Metroid Prime

Way back in 2002, Metroid Prime was released for Gamecube in the United States. Play through the game, and you'll eventually reach the final boss, who is also named metroid prime! But just who is metroid prime? Well, the original release of the game had quite a lot of things to say about the final boss! There were space pirate logs that detail how the creature came to appear in its final state. You get to read about the formidable beast, and how the pirates tried and failed to keep it contained. Eventually, you get to have a showdown with this terrifying creature you've heard so much about.

A couple months later, the game released in Europe, and several of the pirate log entries were completely revised, scrubbing away most mentions of metroid prime. The creature was no longer built up as a villain, but only mentioned in passing and left largely mysterious until the final encounter. These changes would persist for subsequent versions of the game, and the original NTSC logs would not be acknowledged again.

What happened? Why did they change so much in the PAL version? Well, let's start by taking a closer look at the log entries we're not supposed to see. The following log entries are courtesy of the independent Metroid Wiki, and you can read all the old and new logs there.

The retconned logs

The following logs are all from the NTSC version of the game, and none of them appear in subsequent versions.

Pirate Data: "Metroid Prime" Test subject Z-d, hereafter referred to as Metroid Prime, was recently discovered in a cavern by mining crews. It quickly dispatched the miners, but was eventually contained by security units and drones. Once contained, we were able to begin studies upon Metroid Prime. The results have been astonishing. It is genetically similar to a Metroid, albeit on a high evolved level. It displays a limitless capacity for Phazon infusion and shows no Phazon-based degeneration whatsoever. It continues to grow in size, and while it has manifested some psychotic behavior, the cold field we use to pacify remain effective. Authorization for advanced studies on Metroid Prime have been approved.

This entry describes how the pirates chanced upon metroid prime and managed to capture it. It likely looked very different at this point in time, since they were able to subdue it and still had a lot of growing to do. They decide to keep it as a research subject.

Pirate Data: "Prime Breach" Subject Metroid Prime's breach has been contained. Reports indicate that it sensed a large batch of raw Phazon in the lab from within its stasis tank and broke through the glass, using previously unsuspected strength. Besides consuming all of the Phazon, Metroid Prime assimilated several weapons and defense systems from fallen security units. It has suffered no ill effect from said assimilation: indeed, it began to use its newly acquired weapons against us. Once we pacified it, we were unable to remove the assimilated gear without threat to Metroid Prime — the gear is now an integral part of its body. Command is intrigued by this newfound ability, and has ordered further study to commence at once.

This entry describes an incident where metroid prime escaped containment and got a hold of some space pirate weapons. The technology was permanently melded to its body and instantly made it much more threatening. Nonetheless, they were able to contain the creature for further study.

Pirate Data: "Prime Mutations" Metroid Prime continues to feed and grow ever larger in the impact crater caves. Its hunger knows no bounds, and it has begun to manifest unusual mutations since its breach. These include armor plating on its epidermis and mechanical outgrowths that generate defense screens. These screens render it invulnerable to most weapon systems, but a flaw in the mutation leads to increased vulnerability to certain weapons. It compensates for this by shifting the screens quickly. This latest development concerns Security units greatly: they feel it's a matter of time before Metroid Prime corrects this defect and renders itself invulnerable to all weaponry. Containment would be nigh impossible if this were to occur.

The pirates continue to monitor metroid prime, and take note that it is only growing more powerful. It now has armor plating and defensive screens that block most types of damage, and the pirates grow anxious that it might soon become completely impervious.

Pirate Data: "Chozo Artifacts" We are particularly interested in a number of curious Chozo Artifacts we have been able to recover from a number of religious sites on Tallon IV. These relics resonate with power, and yet we are unable to harness them in any way. Science Team is attempting to fuse them together with Phazon, believing that a link might exist between them. We know that these Artifacts are linked to the Chozo Temple that block full access to the Impact Crater. We have yet to crack this enigma, however. Command grows impatient regarding this matter: results must be produced soon.

I am including this log for the sake of completeness, even though it has nothing to do with metroid prime. It was replaced with a similarly-worded log, the only difference being that the new log implies that the space pirates have no knowledge of the artifacts' locations.

What do they imply?

There's one important thing I want to point out about these logs. The story about metroid prime assimilating space pirate armor and weaponry does a lot to explain the boss's appearance and abilities. I believe it was a very intentional choice that the player encounters beam troopers earlier in the game, who are only vulnerable to one of several specific weapons, and then this mechanic is iterated upon during the battle with metroid prime. Metroid prime's design even calls back to the armor of the beam troopers.

All this to say: according to the NTSC version, the boss we encounter at the end of the game is some kind of phazon-mutated metroid that's been souped up with space pirate technology. The logs end without any conclusion to this story, so we're left to assume that metroid prime has become too powerful to be contained, so it decided to make its home in the impact crater, where it could feast on an endless supply of phazon.

I also want to note something the logs don't tell us: where the creature originated from. The space pirates simply found it in a cave during a mining operation, so its origin is left unclear.

And that brings us to the next topic...

Why were they changed?

Anyone familiar with the lore of Metroid Prime will have noticed a huge plot hole in this story. In all versions of the game, the lore entries explain how the Chozo erected an impenetrable containment field around the impact crater to slow the rate of corruption, and the space pirates have spent considerable effort trying to break through it. This leaves no explanation for how metroid prime, the creature, could have entered the impact crater after spending time in the pirates' custody. Unless it has some unexplained method of effortlessly passing through the barrier, the story told through the pirate logbooks doesn't make much sense.

In order to fix this plot hole, all of the above pirate data entries were replaced in the PAL version with completely new ones, most of which make no mention of metroid prime. The following is the only PAL log entry which makes reference to metroid prime:

Pirate Data: "Impact Crater" Investigations into a possible ingress point for the Impact Crater continue to meet with failure. The shield of strange energy that protects it is impermeable, and all attempts to tunnel past it have proved fruitless. Our continued futility in this matter is made all the more significant in light of recent life form readings we've discovered emanating from deep within the crater. Analysis of the readings indicates that a massive creature is gestating in there, absorbing enormous amounts or Phazon from the Phazon core at the heart of the impact crater. This discovery makes accessing the crater doubly important - not only will it open the door to the vast deposits of Phazon within, but it will also lead us to this creature, whatever it may be.

The new lore emphasizes that the space pirates cannot breach the impact crater, but they can sense the presence of a powerful being inside. In this version of the game, this is our only hint towards the existence of metroid prime. It makes more sense that the final boss lurking inside the impact crater has been trapped in there the whole time, festering in its own juices, growing more powerful until our fateful encounter.

You could also read these changes as being more in line with the lore developed in the rest of the Prime trilogy. Metroid prime is implied to be the guardian of Tallon IV's leviathan core, or perhaps a mutated version of the core itself. Either way, it cannot leave the leviathan seed that it is bound to.

What was lost?

The new lore introduced in the PAL version gives no explanation for why metroid prime so strongly resembles a space pirate trooper, since according to the current canon, it would have no contact with pirate technology. We can only interpret its similarities as a coincidence. This is unfortunately a very cool design choice that will forever be a leftover of a patched over plot hole.

While I'm extremely interested in the retconned log entries as a historical curiosity, I think the writers ultimately made the right call changing the lore to be more consistent with the rest of the game and the trilogy as a whole. I know it couldn't have been an easy choice.

And hey, if you learned something new from this analysis, I'll consider it a job well done!

#metroid #metroid prime #space pirates #analysis

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silli---lilli · 1 year ago

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Sleepwalking

Simon and Johnny are alone on base and Simon sleepwalks, revealing some of his secrets

They were on mission, technically, but it had been a few days since they’d seen any action and from the info Price and Gaz had sent back from the field, it would be a few more.

Simon and Johnny had been alone in the small foreign barracks, and it was easy enough for them. No one on earth had said what both of them had been thinking. That it was just a little more than comradery, a little more than close friendship. Not even they had mentioned it as they crawled into the same bed. Not platonic, but not taking it too far. Leaving it questionably justifiable.

That particular night, however, they slept apart. Johnny knew why, but Simon would never have said it. His dreams often woke him on nights when the day before was particularly hard to wade through. Simon hated the quiet, and sitting on his hands, and he’d gotten lost in his mind again. So Johnny made sure he ate and gave him his space.

He walked through the base in darkness, making sure everything was locked up. Checking in again with Price. He eventually went and lay in his bed but he didn’t feel like sleep would find him any time soon. Something about that day with Ghost felt different. Not that it was unusual behavior in the Lieutenant, but that it felt different for Soap.

He’d always hated the way the man suffered, cringing at the dark stories of his past and marveling at the selflessness and kindness and forgiveness the man displayed in spite of it. He supposed these darker days were fair and called for in between the high energy, hyper-focused days they spent in the field.

But that day…meeting his eyes and hearing the lower, more tired register of his voice, Johnny realized how much the man meant to him. Really. Not just a crush or a respected superior. Johnny would have died for him long before feeling like this. This was a desperation to live, and for Simon to live, to exist in the world at the same time and in comfort and safety.

It made him think about quieter days off duty, and how relieved he was to have those days alone, and then suddenly, he didn’t want to have them alone at all.

He’d been in and out of sleep for a while when a noise caught his ear and he sat up, slowly to keep from making any noise. He could hear heavy feet and cabinets opening and closing. He wasn’t worried about intruders, he knew immediately that it was Ghost. He knew his footsteps.

Soap went and stood at his door, cracking it open. It was, however, strange that he was being so loud. Simon would never make that much noise knowing that Soap was in bed. He was notoriously careful to not disturb the others. Worried, Soap left his room and padded nearly silently down the hall.

Whatever Simon was doing, he hadn’t turned on any lights. As Soap neared, he could hear him speaking, every so often like he was having a conversation with someone. Sleepwalking. He’d mentioned it before, in passing, like a warning, and Soap hadn’t thought much of it. But he was thinking of it then and his heart clenched. He didn’t want Simon to suffer, and if nothing else it was completely humiliating to lose control of your body, even in sleep.

He neared the kitchen and Simon never looked in his direction. Never knew he was there. Soap stayed near the entrance to the hall, crossing his arms and leaning on the door frame. He knew he shouldn’t try to wake him. Not unless he was in danger. But Soap didn’t want to leave him alone, either.

“I told them I’d be back next Friday.” Simon took completely random items from the kitchen cabinet and carried them to a nearby table. “They never listen.”

He was quiet for a moment longer, stilling as though he were listening to the other person’s answer. Soap watched him, admiring how relaxed he looked.

“We should just drive together, yeah?”

Another pause. Still, he hadn’t acknowledged Soap’s existence.

“I can’t do everything for you, Tommy.” Simon’s voice was warm, almost affectionate. Soap was lost in that sound so it shocked him when Simon turned and faced him head on as though he’d known he was there the entire time. “You coming?”

Soap stayed completely still, knowing that even if Simon were in and out of consciousness it wouldn’t be good to scare or confuse him.

But Simon kept staring. “Come on, Tom, the food’s getting cold.” Soap still didn’t move and Simon shifted his weight on his feet, getting frustrated. “Today?”

Slowly, testing, Soap lowered his hands to his sides and straightened. He took one step forward and that seemed to satisfy Simon as he turned back toward the table and pulled out two chairs. Soap stopped again to see if Simon would move on with the dream, but he looked over his shoulder again to see if Soap was coming or not.

So, he went. Probably because he wasn’t sure what else to do, but a small part of him wanted to be whatever presence Simon was seeking.

“I haven’t seen them since I went to Mexico, Tommy.” Simon sighed. Soap just watched him, taking his seat and waiting for another cue. “I have so much to tell them.”

It was quiet for a moment, like Simon was listening again. Eventually he looked up, and Soap swore he looked directly into his eyes.

Soap stared back, searching their unusually unguarded depths. Simon wasn’t like this during the day. So open.

“Yes, but I can’t ask him to go with me.” He furrowed his brow slightly, quiet for another moment. “Because he’d say no, I think.”

“Who is it?” Soap heard himself ask and immediately bit his tongue so hard it hurt.

He could be there for Simon in that moment but he wasn’t going to take advantage of his state. But he watched, in darkness lit only by a few far off safety lights, a small smile across Simon’s face.

“He’s just a Sergeant.” He sat back, like he was proud of himself. “A scot, though, but I think I can overlook it.”

Soap felt butterflies roll in his stomach, mixed with emotion. His voice was quiet when he replied, unsure if Simon could hear him at all. “He’d go with you.”

Simon just nodded slowly, looking off into the distance. “He’d like you, Tommy. You’d get along.”

“I think you’re right.” Soap whispered. Simon was still looking into the distance but Soap was only looking at him.

He didn’t know what Simon thought he was talking with his brother about, but he was so casual, a simple conversation with someone he loved and trusted. Something he didn’t get to do often. But maybe, maybe Soap could give him a taste of that in his waking hours again. Maybe he wouldn’t have to go looking for it like this, in the middle of the night.

Simon stood and Soap blinked out of his own thoughts, watching him pick up what he’d carried to the table and haphazardly replacing them. Soap slowly stood to face him.

Simon just nodded and walked toward the hall Soap had come from. Soap followed him. A few steps down the hall, Simon turned and looked at him again.

“Maybe you should drive, then. I need to sleep.”

“Sure, Simon.” Soap answered, walking to catch up with him.

Simon’s room was the other direction. As they neared his, he reached for Simon’s arm and gently guided him inside.

Nothing else was said, Simon was still asleep, but he followed, and he climbed into bed behind whatever safe presence he’d felt in the middle of his vision.

Johnny wrapped him in his arms and held him there, still and warm, as he relaxed back into regular sleep. He clenched his eyes shut and willed himself to take every ounce of loneliness and deep, hollow sadness from the man he bent his body around.

Simon woke with his head on Johnny’s arm, the other draped over his waist. He hadn’t remembered seeking Johnny out the night before, but it didn’t surprise him. He’d gone to bed full of darkness and Johnny seemed to be the only presence on earth that could ease that. He should have followed him to bed in the first place.

He lay there a long time before the sun reached a decent height and Johnny stirred. Simon rolled over to face him. Blue eyes cracked, just barely. He laid a hand along Soap’s jaw and placed a single kiss at the corner of his mouth.

“Breakfast.” He stated. Soap’s eyes were wider but he didn’t fight him as he stood.

Someone had fucked up the kitchen cabinets. He’d have to have a chat about that with Soap later. He needed to have a chat with Soap about quite a bit. And instead of making him nervous, it settled warm in his middle, much like it felt waking pressed against him. He heard his Sergeant’s feet in the hall, footsteps he’d know anywhere, and smiled.

#call of duty #cod #mw2 #ao3 #call of duty fanfic #call of duty fic #call of duty modern warfare #fanfic #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #sleepwalking #soap x ghost #soapghost #ghost call of duty #soap call of duty

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serge-starr · 6 days ago

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Normalise people changing their names/pronouns

When you're born, you get barely any say in what your name and pronouns are. Obviously because you're a baby, you can't speak, you can barely even see past the bright lights, you can't communicate at all and you won't even have the knowledge, intelligence or conscience to be THINKING about your gender and sex.

🍂🍃🐾🍃🍂

In a world of conflict, disagreement, injustice and a lack of control over many things that determine our lifestyle, it should be acceptable for someone to have control over how they're addressed and how they referred to, since it's possible, very easy and doesn't harm anyone. It encourages people to have a sense of identity so they can express themselves, be more unique, more original or think creatively. It's similar to making a public account or customising your avatar in a game. While we can't fully change how we're physically built and what's inside or outside our body, we can still have our own social or spiritual constructs and beliefs that don't relate to anything physical. We can also have kindness, understanding and sympathy. Some people feel that they are born in the wrong body and we have to accept that, because they can't help that and neither can anyone else. We can't force people to give up on who they truly are just because a toxic society doesn't accept them. Only they know who they truly are and just because they weren't given that at birth doesn't mean we should force them to live without it forever. Some people may disagree because they don't understand it or can't relate to it, but that doesn't mean it's not there.

🍂🍃🐾🍃🍂

Also, please teach young people about the LGBTQ+ and alterhuman communities. By young people I mean children, not teens/young adults. Some want to prevent this because they don't want their child to be "CONVERTED" into a queer, or alterhuman, etc. I don't know how I'm supposed to prove this but for God sake they don't get converted. Sure, they may believe they're queer/alterhuman for a while, and change their mind later. Or, they might stay that way, and throughout the years, they're still that way, and a few years later, by the time you believe they're "old enough to know", they're still that way. Wouldn't you rather your child start the journey of finding themselves as early as possible so they can learn, excercise and develop as much as possible or do you want to keep them in a protective bubble so that they don't get "confused" or "brainwashed" but then allow reality to hit them one day just so they can suffer through what they should have dealt with years ago. Sometimes, finding yourself can be hard, yes. But, the sooner you start, the more strong and the more sure of yourself you will be when you're older. Queers in general acknowledge that they've always been different from a very young age, and at some point they were aware of that, so why not give them the education they need to figure themselves out properly. It will prevent insecurities. I hate that people are so hesitant to try out new things because they're so damn comfortable with traditions. Times are MEANT TO CHANGE, people are MEANT TO CHANGE, society is MEANT TO CHANGE. That's how we learn. That's how we grow. That's how we get better. That's how we get stronger, smarter, etc. Stop getting upset about how much things have changed that is a God damn good thing. In fact, I'M GLAD times have changed. I would HATE living in a time of ignorance or lack of awareness. I am SO GLAD that I know I'm queer and an alterhuman because if I didn't, I'd be so confused, lost, and I'd probably hate myself and think that I'm weird (in a bad context).

🍂🍃🐾🍃🍂

Also, can we PLEASE STOP this argument about fucking pronouns. Just be a decent human being and respect people's pronouns no matter what the fuck they are. Even if they're neopronouns, or something you've never heard of. Just use them. If you don't want to use them, then either don't talk to them, avoid misgendering them by avoiding the use of pronouns altogether (which I guarantee will be a lot harder for you anyway) or just grow the fuck up and use them.

And then there's the mfs who say ::

"BUT THEY/THEM IS PLURAL IT'S CONFUSING!"

"BUT NEOPRONOUNS ARE WEIRD! THEY DON'T MAKE SENSE! THEY'RE NOT EVEN PART OF THE LANGUAGE!"

"BUT USING THEIR PRONOUNS MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE!"

"I DON'T WANT TO ASK PEOPLE FOR THEIR PRONOUNS.. IT'S AWKWARD. IT FEELS WRONG."

"WHY SHOULD PEOPLE GET MAD THAT I MISGENDERED THEM IF I DON'T EVEN KNOW THEIR PRONOUNS?"

"WHY CAN'T WE JUST GO BACK TO WHEN THINGS WERE MORE SIMPLE??! I'M SICK OF ALL THIS PRONOUNS RUBBISH. LET'S GO BACK TO WHEN THERE WERE ONLY 2 GENDERS!!"

You can use they/them to refer to one individual or multiple individuals. It's not always plural. They/them can be used to refer to someone/ some people who are not classed as men or women, but just PEOPLE. This can be a go-to pronoun if you want to avoid misgendering someone. But keep in mind that they may still be uncomfortable with they/them and may have to correct you.

And I swear to God y'all better NOT get pissed off when someone tries to correct you after YOU misgendered THEM. It's not a personal attack. They're just setting boundaries and if you don't respect that then you need some self-investment. Imagine yourself in their shoes, hating the names and pronouns they were born with because they asoossiate them with discomfort or possibly trauma, and here you are bringing back their discomfort. Surely you can understand or relate to not wanting something that you're forced to do or forced to have. Are you really going to make them suffer just because YOU can't be bothered to remember their preferred name. AKA. Their ACTUAL name.

Now obviously, if you misgender them by accident, that's a different story, and they shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself for doing it if it wasn't your intention. It goes both ways. ACCIDENTALLY misgendering someone isn't a personal attack because you don't know what you're doing until you're enlightened. You don't need to feel bad for it and no one should be making you feel bad. If that is happening be mature and make it clear that you did not mean to misgender them and learn from your mistake. To avoid this, it's better to ask for their pronouns before starting a conversation. If they insult you for ACCIDENTALLY misgendering them even though you wanted to make it clear that it was an accident, then yeah, maybe they're the problem. But purposely misgendering someone isn't okay, no matter what the reason for it is. I don't care if you don't like that person so you're misgendering them as a personal attack, or even if you're transphobic. Purposely misgendering someone is a dumb act. And uh, yes, fuck the transphobes.

About neopronouns, it doesn't matter if you don't understand it. You should still respect it. You're not going to relate with everything but you shouldn't make that anyone else problem. So what if it's new to the language? Do you just not want new words to be added to the dictionary so we're stuck with the same old words forever? We say words like "skibidi" and "sigma" and "rizz" and "gyatt" and "good" and "edge" and "mewing" and all that brainrot stuff and that's not part of the language either. But we still God damn say it don't we? Now I know that doesn't prove my point because those aren't agreed to be ACTUAL words by everyone but look. We can add new words to our language. Like fuck it, that's literally the whole point of a language. Anyway respect and use neopronouns.

Asking someone for their pronouns is the same as asking for their name. You don't know either until you ask or get to know. Think of it that way. Every individual has their own name and therefore their own pronouns. Yes, everyone either has male or female genitalia unless they have genital mutilation. (I'm not going to talk about intersex people in this post because I haven't done proper research on them yet and they're not really relevent to what I'm currently discussing). But in terms of gender, there is way more than just boy or girl. Just because someone "looks like a girl" doesn't mean they should be forced to use she/her and the same goes for "boys". Appearance isn't something we have control over completly and we need to acknowledge that, for example, just because someone's a female doesn't mean they can't use he/him. They don't have to try to look like a boy in order to use the pronouns. If it's what makes them happy and comfortable. Do it now. Don't make them wait for anything. DO. IT. NOW.

We also need to acknowledge that there is more than just FTM trans and MTF trans. There are non-binary people, generfluid people, people who fit into different categories, etc.

I hate that y'all are saying you want to go back to the times when things were more "simple" 😭 like PLEASE, tell me you're not serious bro. So you want to go back when we had no phones, no cars and less scentific knowledge. I mean sure, go for it dude. Get that time machine out right now. Let's go back to when we objectified/raped/cheated on women, hit children with canes and enjoyed watching people get excecuted. Oh yes, and g3n0c1de and mass murder was normal. Oh yes, and people were manipulated/tricked into going to war and dying. Oh yes, and being a n@zi back then was considered okay too. Do you want to go back to those times? Or do you want to be safe? Your choice I guess.

The reason y'all hate this "new" pronoun "trend" so much is because you've been brought up to hate it. You've also been taught to hate anything that's different to societal norms. At this point, I don't even hate y'all. I just pity you. You follow what all these idiots tell you to do and that's it. You're so unauthentic that you can't stand people who are authentic. Let people be themselves man.

🍂🍃🐾🍃🍂

Your sex is what you're assigned with at birth. It's what you are biologically, sexually, whatever. It's what's "in between your legs". This creates the terms male, female and intersex, which is different to the terms "boy", "girl", "man" and "woman". Our sex can only change if we have top/bottom surgery. Oviously, this leads to the chromosomes argument, which I honestly think is very stupid and irrelevant. Your chromosomes are literally just the reminder of what sex and gender you were assigned with at birth. The definition of what a "real man" or a "real woman" is thrown around the room so much it's crazy. Why can't we just be calm and cool about it?

Here's how I see it. Imagine someone is born with male genitalia so they're assigned as (sex - male) (gender - boy) at birth. From what my heteronormative, transphobic family member has said to me, a "real man" is a person with "XY" chromosomes, or someone who's born with a (yk). What IF, a REAL MAN is not the same as BIOLOGICAL MAN. Technically, not everyone has agreed on what a REAL MAN is yet. So, what if a biological man is just a biological man and a biological man who identifies as NOT A MAN is someone who's NOT A REAL MAN? Think about it, if they're born in the wrong body, it's technically not real. Well, this is the conclusion many people feel and agree on. I'm with it. What do you think?

We can't control our sex. Honestly I bet many people wish we could. I do. I hate my body so much I can barely stand watching myself get dressed, get in and out the shower, etc. Obviously not everyone hates their body. When someone has body "dysphoria", not to be confused with body "dysmporphia" (thinking you body is fatter/skinnier/"uglier" than it is), it means that they are dissatisfied with the body that they have and the gender they are assigned with at birth.

Changing the gender you identify as, getting surgery or learning what a healthy body looks like as well as developing a healthy lifestyle can treat these problems very well. They worked for me.

BOTH our gender and our sex are the same when we are born. For example, I was born with female genitalia so I was named (my deadname) and referred to as a "female". This means that BY DEFAULT, my gender was "girl" and my pronouns were "she/her/hers". My parents were very happy to finally have a daughter, which is very unfortunate considering how times have changed along with gender norms. It's also unfortunate because as one of my favourite youtubers (funkyfrogbait) said, it's a bad idea to treat babies like pokemon and keep having them until you get the gender you want. This is inconsiderate of the fact that each baby is an individual and unique life and not just a second chance for you. Babies grow up to be their own people and they're not there to serve the parents. How society was decades ago and how society is now is very differnet and some parents are very upset that their kids aren't turning out how they expected them to be.

I remember once my Mother said that she was worried about me being converted to the queer community. My naiive ass literally sat there and reassured her that I wasn't gay 💀 I didn't even realize how fucked up it was that I had to promise something like that to my Mother, when she should love me regardless of my sexuality. My siblings would always talk down on queer people and pride. It made me uncomfy. I would just laugh awkwardly and pretend to find it funny, even though half the time they weren't even joking. One of my siblings mocked their ex for dying their hair pink after the breakup, saying that she was "going mad". My Mother would agree. Honestly, I don't understand how dying your hair means you're "going mad". It's just a fun thing people like to do. Maybe they wanted to criticise the alternative side of it because they're a conservative family, which is bad for me because I'm alternative. It took me a few years to realized how fucked up this was. On top of that, my sibling would criticise people with dyed hair as they followed the sterotype that queers are alternative, have dyed hair, tattoos, piercings, etc. this one time they would refer to "those gays" as "green-haired smelly gay woke transgender farts". My sibling was bragging about not being queer and my parents said that queers are so down below him that he shouldn't even compare himself to them. Looking back at this, my heart sinks.

Anyway, back to the point. Gender is different to sex and there are way more gender types than sex types. I won't be able to list them all because I don't know them all, but some examples are man, woman, genderfluid, bigender, agender, and the list goes on. There's also non-binary but I don't know if that counts as a gender please enlighten me. You can choose whatever gender makes you comfortable or happy. I am genderfluid, which means my gender changes frequently as well as my pronouns. I am female but my pronouns are fluid from he/him to they/them. I identify as a person most of the time, a man sometimes but never a woman.

If I've written any misinformation or anything innaccurate in this post please let me know and I'll edit it, thanks!

That's all. Thanks for reading!

#genderfluid #trans positivity #nonbinary #transfem #trans rights #transgender #transmasc #trans pride #queer #queer community #gay #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #lgbt pride #trans stuff #gender stuff #queer stuff

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lorei-writes · 1 year ago

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Character Thoughts: Chevalier #1

Contents:

The Queen -- reasons for motherhood,

How did the beast come to be internalised,

Importance of Clavis,

Wish to be seen as human.

Vaguely non-descriptive spoilers for Chevalier's route and event stories may be present.

Do you know how the way one was raised influences their perception of themselves? I think that shows quite profoundly in Chevalier... and that it is possible to theorise about the Queen's intentions based on it as well.

So, Chevalier is born. The Queen's marriage is loveless, but she did bear a heir and that clearly is something the King wanted. He should be happy with her now, no? She has fulfilled her duty. She has done well. Maybe now, now that they have a proper family, he will forget about the Belle and will love her instead.

But this doesn't happen.

It may just take time. Maybe she is not good enough. Maybe just any heir is not good enough. So, Chevalier is taught -- and surely, now the King must be satisfied. His son is a genius, after all.

The King, however, remains different towards Queen's affection. Worse yet, he hurts Leticia. One question opens up: why?

Now, from the Queen's perspective, she has done everything right -- their child was conceived within the boundaries of a legitimate union; she gave birth to a son; her son was bright; her son was talented; her son was dedicated. All of those can be seen as crucial only in regards to earning the King's love.

Affection was mentioned nowhere on the list. Chevalier was means to an end -- and what does a child do under such circumstances? They try their best. Conditional love is still love, and he is more than capable of living up to her expectations. He is more than capable of becoming all that a perfect king should be.

So he does. And he takes it to the extreme. Killing that assassin? It only aligns with what he was supposed to be. And yet, the King still does not love the Queen. She has only one nugget of hope -- it is not her. It is him. It is Chevalier who is at fault. She has not done a single incorrect thing, so her failure -- through her faulty logic -- is not hers. She couldn't have succeeded with such a son. It's him. It's all him. It's his fault.

Chevalier does everything right. However, the outcomes of his actions only ever earn him fright. In fact, the more correct he is, the more everybody is terrified. His efforts? They are good. His results? They are good. Therefore, it can only be that he is the element that is faulty. That he, inherently, is a fearsome beast.

The belief sits at his core. It isn't a point of pride, however, but of disdain.

---

There were times I was tempted to say that "Chevalier is terrifying" is what every person thinks and acts upon. However, there is one consistent exception we know of -- Clavis.

Clavis' role in preventing Chevalier from fully embracing his status of a beast is immeasurable. As troublesome as he may be, for the longest time, he is the only one to make an effort to actually engage Chevalier on an equal ground. He does not cry when merely in his presence -- he challenges him, regardless of any failures he may suffer in the process.

Clavis nags Chevalier to be more social. He tells him to smile more. He argues with him. Clavis never gives up, and he surely never gives up on Chevalier. What is more, when he sees Chevalier give up on love after obtaining it in his Romantic end? Clavis does not give up on Chevalier's behalf.

Clavis sees Chevalier's emotion. He acknowledges it. He may be getting some enjoyment out of teasing his brother, however, as Chevalier himself says -- Clavis may not have the best logic, but his intentions are always good ones.

And lastly, there is one more thing. As I've said, "I am not a person; I am a beast" is one of Chevalier's core beliefs. It is not a neutral one, and as much as he might have buried this desire, all along Chevalier wants to be seen as a person. He just does not allow himself to even hope for it.

It is Emma's insistence that breaks through to him eventually. Her being scared of him after seeing him on the battlefield? It hurts. He'd rather never be considered a person to begin with.

I dare say Emma changing her mind about him is not a concern that disappears entirely. We can see it in True Love & Beauty and the Knight stories. After hurting people, regardless of whether it was justified or not, Chevalier instinctively puts distance between them. He reverts to referring to himself per "beast". He is worried.

This one thing is terribly hard to unlearn. It takes time, effort and tremendous amounts of trust... And trust he does, one awkwardly loving gesture at a time.

#chevalier michel #ikepri chevalier #ikemen prince chevalier #ikepri #ikemen prince #ikemen series #those are my goodnight ramblings because my head may explode if i dont let them out <3

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majesticwren · 2 months ago

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what's this? I don't know it came to me and now it exists there might be more to come because I am not done suffering but who knows? I'd love to say I had fun writing it but I am actually dying inside so apologies to everyone I don't know why I did it don't come for me. I still love you. bye. I'm ok.

Trigger Warning/s: angst, like major ANGST, you have been warned, smut, unprotected sex (as per usual, don't take this as example, follow your sexed! peeps), healthy relationships turns sour, impossible love (? don't know), loads of misunderstandings, buckets of angst and then some.

Masterlist

Part I.

“Allie, get a move on, we are gonna be late,” Mark called from the other room. His tone was condescending and impatient. It wasn’t the first time he tried to rush her.

She popped her heels on, not answering.

He wasn’t wrong. They were, in fact, already late. And it was because she had tried three different outfits and nothing worked. It wasn’t her closet fault; she didn’t feel comfortable under her own skin recently. But it was also his fault because Mark always managed to be in her way as they got ready.

Allegra loved him more than life itself. He was the companion of a lifetime, the man she wanted to grow old with. And when he wasn’t near, she could barely breathe. Mark wasn’t only her husband, he was her home, her family. And, at the same time, she could hardly stand him recently. The way he talked. The way he breathed. The way his beautiful hazel eyes were always so sad. The way he was never home. She desperately missed him, even when he was in the same room.

She strutted over into the living room blindly popping on a pair of pearl earrings he gifted her for their anniversary last year.

“Did you hear me?” He insisted, following her moving through their house from his comfortable position on the sofa. She felt his insistent gaze on her exposed skin. He sat sprawled, spread arms across the back of the sofa and departed knees. Cocky and comfortable.

“Yes,” Allie snapped coldly, grabbing her everyday bag to transfer her stuff over to an evening purse.

“And? You aren’t going to acknowledge me?”

“Oh,” Allie scoffed an irritated chuckle, stopping in her tracks, just now looking at him. “I am most sorry, sir.” She bowed, “How silly of me, you are acknowledged my liege. I forgot to kiss the floor you walk on. Do you want me to get on my knees and ask for forgiveness?”

“‘The fuck is that supposed to mean?” His Aussie accent twanged between his words. Allie so wanted to hate that too and the fact that he talked back enraged her, but her blood also boiled under the charm her husband’s voice had.

“Isn’t it what you wanted?”

He raised his chin discontented, “Is this one of your moments?” he then huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Are you looking for another fight, honey? Because I do not have the strength for it. It’s Alice’s birthday, Will has all these bits organised for her we can’t miss it.”

“Fuck you talking to me about it like I do not care. She is my best friend I remind you,”

She saw him biting his tongue. He looked away briefly, trying to hold back, but it didn’t last long. When he looked back at her, his eyes flashed dangerously, Mark puffed his chest, moving forward towards her. “C’mon then, lay it on me, baby. What did I do wrong this time?” He dared to pull a sharp smile, “We are already late, might as well be spectacularly late, don’t you think, sweet?”

His condescending tone was like a spark hitting fuel. One second Allegra was trying to hold onto her anger, trying to be considerate, trying to be responsible and the second after she exploded like a ticking bomb.

Allie marched towards him pointing a finger into his face. “Stop talking to me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I am a fucking inconvenience to you, your stupid life, your stupid career and your stupid friends,”

He pushed her finger off his face and got up, towering over her. “And how am I supposed to talk to you, then?”

“I am your wife.” She reminded him raising her chin proudly, not backing down. She hated herself for it but could feel the clear sting of tears in the back of her eyes. “Want it or not, it means something. To me at least.” she pointed at her wedding ring, “Sorry if I am weighing you down. You don’t want to be late? Go on then. Go to Will’s. I’ll catch up when I am ready, Alex will understand.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “We are a couple. We are together, Allie.” He sounded so annoying, lecturing her. “We go together.”

“Well, it’s not like it is much different from being alone all the time. I am used to doing stuff by myself.”

“Allie,” Mark’s anger expired quickly as sadness poured into his eyes. His dark eyebrows frowned as he clocked on the real reason hidden behind his wife’s temper.

He was gone for work more time than he could spend at home. He had missed birthdays and anniversaries and parties and important events and, often being on the other side of the world or in the mists of travelling, he was often unavailable too.

He always travelled, but being so often in America and Japan was new and it had started to strain severely their relationship irreparably. In the beginning, it was easy, it looked like a game, like a new adventure. Long weekends spent travelling around the world together, spending the days he would be home in bed, skin on skin, unable to be separated, the waiting and the longing were charged with expectation. But, in time, it slowly started to wither away, gnawing on the foundations of what made them inseparable, threatening their happiness.

They were quickly approaching the point of no return.

There were two solutions: Allegra could have dropped her life, family and career to move to America with Mark, or Mark could have dropped AEW. Both unacceptable.

He tried to reach for her, but she was quicker moving away from his grasp. “No.” There was no stopping her, her thoughts were rolling out of her mouth without her having control over her words or emotions. “You know what? Maybe we should just end it. Save everyone the inconvenience.” She did to slip her wedding ring off, blinded by her own violent emotions.

It was easier to hate him, easier to lose him than missing him so damn much.

“Stop,” Mark gently closed a hand around both hers. His soft grasp was like an anchor suddenly weighing her down, allowing her to stop spinning out of control. “Honey,” his voice was reduced to a whisper as his other hand slid around her jaw. “Don’t say things like that.”

She hated herself. She wanted destruction. She wanted to burn what they built together to the ground because it was easier than dealing with the fear of knowing they weren’t going to last. So, she hated the way she melted into his grasp, finding relief in his closeness.

Anger became anguish and the way he tenderly looked down at her, love pouring out of his eyes, his thumb attentively caressing her cheek, seemed to be the only salvation.

Allegra leapt in Mark’s arms, looking for the only way she knew would have allowed her to find him, to find peace. She pulled him down into a kiss he was more than ready to give in.

Mark rolled his arms around her and pulled her up against his solid body like she weighed nothing only encouraging her to branch her limbs around his wide frame.

Their kiss tasted of sorrow and regret. Their passion was desperate, hanging to a thread.

He carried her back to the sofa, sinking in between pillows with her nesting perfectly on his lap. Allegra’s fingers clutched at the thin material of his shirt, as Mark pushed her dress up around her hips. Impatient fingers looked for her sensitive, hot skin through the thin material of her underwear, her tights rolling down her thighs. Allegra suffocated a moan into his mouth as Mark devoured her every breath, every thought. Determined to remind her she was his, always.

They both knew what was happening, like it happened a hundred times before; when an argument would get too ugly and emotions would steer too close to despair sex was their only resource. The only way they had, by now, was to find something to hold on to that could be worth something.

Allegra pushed him down on the soft back of the sofa and frantically helped him undo his belt and get out of his trousers, only so she could slide on his cock as soon as possible. Her mouth gaped as she took his size, welcoming the way he filled her up entirely with rejoice. He was so big she felt him in the pit of her stomach. And God if she loved it. Sometimes, if he let himself go and would be particularly rough, it would leave her feeling like she had been split in half, but she adored the soreness and the bruises. It was a sweet reminder of how her husband could never have enough of her. Bittersweet nowadays.

Mark grunted loudly; his gaze fogged up by lust. “Fuck, honey,” he gasped, looking up at her with the utmost devotion. “You good?” He wondered attentively, his big hands wrapped around her hips kept her steady, allowing her the time to get used to him. “You take me so well, baby,”

Allegra nodded with a smile; her hands slipped around the solid column of his neck. She grabbed his throat in one palm and his chin in the other, pulling him in another famished kiss. “Fuck me,” she encouraged him, “Be a good boy for me,”

Mark whimpered to her words and gave her exactly what she asked him. His hands guided her hips up and down his shaft as the rhythm of her bouncing became frantic.

They weren’t taking it easy. There was no time for softness. They urged to be connected and needed to do it quickly because the world wasn’t gonna stop spinning for them to sort their shit.

“You are so beautiful,” he praised, looking up at her devotedly, not hiding a drop of his love for her.

Their love for each other was never in doubt. It roared, powerful and wounded. They were made to be together, neither of them ever second-guessed that. Which was why it was hurting so bad all the time.

“I love you,” he continued, short of breath, cupping her face into his hand.

Again, Allegra hated herself, because instead of letting herself go into his arms to complete damnation, she shut him out. She leaned in, kissing him to shut him up, famished and desperate to heal the wounds crippling them both.

By the time they arrived at Alice and Will’s house, they were over an hour late.

The car ride was quiet. Any trace of heat left them, leaving space only for awkward shame and imposing sorrows. They sat close in the cockpit, but the distance between them felt like miles, cold and insurmountable.

Once through the door, Allegra imposed herself to put her bravest face on. She was good at pretending everything was ok.

“I am so sorry,” Allegra huffed exchanging a welcoming hug with Alice. “We tried to get here as soon as we could,”

“It’s ok,” Alice nodded on her shoulder as the two girls hung in their embrace for a moment longer. “Gave me time to mingle with everyone else so now I am all yours and we can catch up properly.”

“Fuck yes,” Allie sighed, “It’s been ages, hasn’t it?”

“We are busy gals with even busier blokes, you know it’s never a problem.”

“It is a problem when it means I miss you so much!” They both giggled. Allie pulled back, looking at her best friend in the eye. “First of all, happy birthday my love,” they both smiled, still holding hands, “And secondly, fuck, you look so hot!” Allegra’s eyes fell on her friend's outfit, “Look at you!”

“Oh, shut up you.” Alex giggled, her cheeks blushed but she still twirled, giving her friend a view of her ass squeezed in the dress she was wearing. “Yes?”

“Hot mama,” Allie fanned herself and then, still giggling, looked over to Will who stood by Alex's side and was too, enjoying the view. He was so dumb in love with her it was almost funny sometimes. And God only knew how Alice deserved to be as happy as Will could make her. “Hey Will,”

“Hello darling,” he welcomed her in a friendly embrace. “How are you? You alright?” Will’s thick accent made him sound always so soft and warm. “Alex said you had some problems at the gallery?”

“Yeah,” she released a tiresome sigh, “Just a small flood, inconvenient but fixed now. Opening the online store was definitely what saved my finances this month.”

As Allie exchanged a hug with him, Mark moved to Alice and did the same, squeezing the girl in an affectionate hug. “Happy birthday, Alex.”

“Thank you,” Alex kissed him briefly on the cheek. “It’s good to have you around, finally.”

“Yeah,” he shrugged the awkwardness off as best he could. “Made sure to get this week off just for you.”

“You are such a kiss ass,” Alex gave him a small push, “I am sure your wife is also very happy to have you home for a while,”

The look Mark and Allegra exchanged was awkward, but they were quick shaking off the cold. It wasn’t the time nor the place for their problems to surface.

“Mate!” Kyle approached them quickly, with a massive smile printed on his face. He landed a heavy hand on Will’s shoulder before diving into a big hug with Mark. They behaved like they hadn’t seen each other in years. It had been two days at best. “So good to see you.” Allegra wasn’t sure if he was taking the piss or if he was being serious, but Mark laughed all the same, ruffling the younger’s hair affectionately.

As the three boys got distracted talking shit to each other, Allegra and Alex exchanged a quick look. “So,” Allegra started, “Shall we start the debrief now or after a drink?”

“Come,” Alex grabbed her by the hand, pulling her into their house, but not before exchanging a distracted kiss with Will. “Gonna grab a drink with Allie, I’ll find you later?”

Allegra and Mark didn’t kiss. They didn’t touch. Their gaze crossed briefly, heavy of all the things they weren’t saying, stained by the guilt of letting their relationship get so bad. The more Allie looked into his sad eyes, the more her chest tore open.

Their end was near, she could feel it.

Hiding from absolute destruction was easy when surrounded by people. Chattering and booze were a perfect disguise to ignore completely how her life was about to fall apart.

Alex laughed, kicking her feet in the air as Will lifted her between his arms, jokingly pretending to throw her around. Allie watched the scene; her tender affection towards those two human beings so openly loving each other was stained by envy. It stung her chest to see how their cheeks blushed as they looked into each other’s eyes, exchanging silent promises.

Without even thinking about it, her attention moved across the room, looking for Mark. She didn’t feel it coming but, suddenly, she needed to be between his arms, as close to him as possible. She needed to hear him whisper in her ear how everything would have been ok. She needed to remind him how much she loved him.

“I’ll be back,” she announced to the couple, bringing with her only her bottle of beer, thinking it would have been shield enough to cruise through the group of friends reunited to celebrate Alex’s birthday.

Allegra did a quick scan of the ground floor quickly concluding Mark wasn’t to be seen. He must have been on the porch, joining the smokers by the outside heater, she thought following her thought process and stepping outside.

The cold night air nibbled on her exposed skin. Wrapping herself in her arms proved useless in fighting the cold off, but she forgot about it easily when she recognised Mark’s large frame sitting on one of the rattan chairs.

He leaned forward into Kyle as they both checked their phones, screens side by side.

Allie was ready to slide her hands on Mark’s shoulders, hoping he would have welcomed her in one of his bear hugs, maybe pulling her on his lap, allowing her to find warmth against his chest.

The thought was enough to make her finger tremble, but she stopped when she caught a glimpse of their conversation.

“Nah. It can’t be, mate,” Mark shook his head, concerned. “Fuck,” he looked closely at his phone, “where are all these bookings coming from!?”

“What do you mean!? Aren’t you happy?”

“I am happy.” Mark shrugged, “It’s just- looks like we are about to have the busier months of our career.”

“Shit me, Davis, light up, uh? This is a good thing,” Kyle landed a hand on his knee, “It’s our opportunity.”

“It’s not that,” Mark sighed heavily, attracting Kyle’s closer attention. “It’s Allegra. She won’t be happy,”

“Oh,” Kyle quieted down, lowering his eyes. He knew.

“I mean Christmas in Japan!?”

Allegra was hit in the face. She knew it wasn’t proper and she knew she had to keep appearances up, at least until they would have been alone; but she barely had a grip on her emotions lately and hearing those words sent her ballistic.

“What’s that?”

Both Mark and Kyle jumped, quickly hiding their phones away. “Nothing,” Kyle replied without thinking. Mark was smarter than that and simply tried to salvage the situation, getting up on his feet, and approaching her. “Baby, let me explain?”

“Busiest time of your career!?” She wondered, this time she wasn’t crossing her arms because of the cold but in defence, taking a step back looking for distance from her husband. “You are already busy. You already are never here.”

“Allie,” he pleaded, shaking his head. “Don’t be like that.”

“I can’t do this anymore, Mark,” a shiver crossed her and all her anger, pain, disappointment and guilt hit her violently. Tears were quick to emerge and fear slashed through her, leaving her breathless. “Christmas in Japan?” She wondered clutching at her stomach, finding it so difficult to focus.

People around them were awkwardly watching. She didn’t care.

It wasn’t even about Christmas. She couldn’t care less, but she couldn’t imagine being torn further apart from him. What would be left of them at the end of it? They were already barely breathing.

“Honey,” His face bent under his pain. Seeing her like that, knowing he was hurting her, killed him. Allegra knew it, and still couldn’t forgive him. Or herself. Mark tried to approach her, his arms opened in a peaceful offer even though he didn’t dare to step in her space, allowing her the space she needed. “I do not have a choice. It isn’t only about me,”

Her eyes shot behind him, resentful even towards Kyle, even if the young Aussie had no fault, they all knew it.

“What’s going on?” Alex popped her head out through the living room glass doors. “Allie? You ok, babes?” She was close in a second, rolling an arm around Allie even when she didn’t ask.

“No. Please,” Allie tried to object, “I am so sorry. It’s your party, this shouldn’t be happening.” Allegra wiped off her tears, hiding them away, trying to pretend everything was ok and clearly failing. Everyone, by now, noticed something was off. “It’s ok. I promise.”

“Allegra,” Mark called her attention, shaking his head, “Shall we talk about this?”

“No.” She shut him out, “I said everything is ok.” Her body was shaken by another shiver. Maybe it was the cold, or maybe it was looking the man she loved more than anything in the eye knowing she was losing him.

Alex rolled her eyes and put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug. “Stop, stop,” Alex cupped her face in her hands and looked her in the eye, offering an encouraging sweet smile. “I love you and you don’t fool me.” She was ready to catch the tears that quickly followed, as Allegra hid into her hug. “Let’s go upstairs for a moment, ok? Take a minute just for us?” Alex exchanged a quick look with Mark. “I got her. I got her,”

Will popped over, siding Mark, both he and Kyle held him back, and he stayed, even if his melancholic eyes followed Allegra. Their gaze crossed as she followed Alex back inside. If he could have ripped his heart out, and make it so his soul could be with her forever, he would have done so. She knew it. She loved him for it. And hated him too, why wasn’t he making it any easier to stop loving him?

Once upstairs, behind the safety of Alex’s bedroom closed door, it didn’t take any time at all for Allegra to fall apart. She cried, sobbing convulsively into her friend's arms, desperately gripping and leaning on the wrong person. Trying to explain the situation through confused thoughts proved to be almost impossible and yet, somehow, Alex managed to have enough patience to stay.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” She wondered running a hand up and down her back.

They sat on the floor, shoes off.

“I don’t know,” Allegra sighed, just now calming down. She was only exhausted.

“I mean, I never thought it was this bad between you two. You love each other so much,”

“I know,” Allie nodded, feeling the pain roaring in the back of her throat, ready to cry more, if only she had tears left. “We do. I love him so much I can’t breathe. Sometimes I wish it wasn’t this way. Sometimes I wished he wasn’t such a good man to me, or that maybe he had found someone else – or I did, it would be easier than this.”

“Don’t say that, babes. It’s really bad,” Alex leaned her head on her shoulder, “But I get it.”

“How do you do it? With Will and Harry and all?”

“It’s different for us,” Alexi explained, “Besides the fact that Will is a machine and doesn’t understand the concept of time so jet leg doesn’t cripple him, working together helps.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Allie let her head roll on the mattress behind them, looking up at the ceiling. “I just know I will lose him and the longer we go on together the worse it gets.”

Alexi gave her a soft squeeze. “Why don’t you consider the idea of moving to America? It would make it easier for you both.”

Allie felt like she was facing a wall. Her breath abandoned her lungs. “I can’t leave England. My entire life is here,”

“Please don’t take my words as judgemental, ok? I watch my boyfriend break his back week in and out to be around as often as possible not to uproot Harry, but what do you have here that’s worth risking losing him?”

Allegra choked, drowning in her guilt. “I- I can’t leave my mother. And you? And all the rest of the people I know? And my career? I’ve just started to get my business running with a selected list of clients. I can’t start all over again,”

“But it’s Mark,”

“I know!” Allegra gasped, shaking her head. “Do you think I am not realising what I am losing?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout.”

The two looked at each other for a long moment, as Alexi took Allie’s hand, squeezing it. “You’ll find a way, I am sure. You are destined to be together; I know it. Love stories like yours end up in movies.”

Allegra nodded, feeling her heart as heavy as ever. “I sure hope you are right.”

Then they sat there for what felt like forever until someone knocked softly at the door.

“Alex? Allie? Can I come in?”

Allegra jumped as soon as she recognised Mark’s voice. Both girls jumped up, except Allegra stayed back, sitting on the edge of the bed as Alex approached the door. She looked back, waiting for Allie’s permission before opening the door. “Hey,” she leaned on the door frame, welcoming Mark with an awkward smile, blocking his view of the room with the door. “You ok?”

“Could I speak with my wife, please?”

Alex didn’t reply but looked back at Allegra, checking what was her answer. With Allie's nod, she then pushed the door open, allowing Mark to get in.

He didn’t lose any time wondering. His gaze found her and he was on his knees in a moment, in front of her. He looked horrendous. His face was pale and his skin marked. He cried. His eyes looked reddened and tired. Allegra mustn’t have looked any better.

“Tell me how to fix it,” he wondered defeated, looking up at her, “Tell me what to do, my love.”

Alex lingered only a moment, making sure Allegra was fine, and then she left them alone. Just then, Allie moved, her trembling hands finding Mark’s face. He grabbed her wrists softly and pressed his lips into her palms, kissing her skin in adoration. “Tell me,” He was begging, praying like one would pray to God. “Please, baby.”

“I don’t know how to fix it, bub,” her chest was shaken by the sudden warm hope lighting his eyes as he recognised one of the many affectionate pet names she used for him. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I know,” he started nodding, “I know what to do.” His resolution was unmovable. “I will leave AEW and New Japan. I can wrestle for RevPro, stay local.”

“No,” Allegra pressed her fingers on his lips, shushing him. His moustache tickled her fingertips. Moving without thinking, like attracted by an invisible magnetic force, she slid off the bed and onto Mark’s lap, finding bittersweet solace in the way his arms quickly closed around her. “Don’t even say that.”

He shook his head, stubborn. “Nothing is as important as you. Not even wrestling.”

Allegra’s heart missed a beat as she exhaled all the oxygen in her chest, before leaping in a kiss. Anything to shut him up. To shut them both up.

“Absolutely not,” she then continued, hiding in the crook of his neck. His scent was intoxicating. “You won’t do such a thing.”

“Baby,” his voice was reduced to a whisper as he held her. One of his arms wrapped around her waist and the other stroked her hair, keeping her close, cradling her.

Allegra moved back just enough to look him in the eye. She took a second to admire his features, softly caressing his face. “Wrestling is your dream, it’s who you are. I won’t allow you to throw it away.”

“You are my dream,”

“It’s not the same,” a sad smile crossed her lips as her fingers travelled across his forehead, down following his nose, back to his lips. “We wouldn’t fix it; we would only prologue our suffering.”

“How?”

“C’mon, not even you can be that dumb,” her giggle was innocent but defeated, she was done fighting. “You’d end up resenting me and I would hate you and myself for it, we’d only keep hurting each other worse than this. At least now it can end amicably.”

“End?” He gasped, his beautiful eyes tearing up.

Allegra scooped his face up and kissed him, rolling her arms around his shoulders to keep him close. “God, I love you so much,” she whispered against his mouth, “And I must let you go.”

“Don’t you dare,” He pulled her closer, his fingers now clawing at her. “Allegra, don’t. Please.”

She was ready. Their end had arrived, there was no more running, no more pretending. How could it be any other way?

“Please, give me more time. We are married, I am your husband. There must be something we can do,”

She couldn’t bear to see him this way. Her lips traced his tears, holding him close. “You know there’s nothing we can do,” she kissed him softly, “And we can’t keep being together like this, it’s just going to get worse.”

“I can’t,” his breathing became laboured as he shook his head. “I can’t be without you.”

“Shh,” Allegra ran her fingers through his hair, squeezing him. “It’s ok my love, we can be selfish for a little while.”

He nodded, nuzzling in the crook of her neck. “Just a little longer. I don’t know how to say goodbye to you.”

“It will get easier,” she encouraged him. “One day we might even laugh about this.”

He lifted his face looking at her coldly. “Don’t humour me. Not when you are breaking up with me.”

“I will always love you,” she pecked a kiss on his lips, “You know that, right?”

“If that was enough, we wouldn’t be in this situation, honey.”

“I know.”

“Can we go home? Do you think Alex and Will would get upset? I just-” his voice broke, but he put a brave face on, raising his chin. “I need to be with you. Inside of you. I need to taste you, feel you, until you are branded on my body. And I don’t think fucking you in their bedroom is wise.”

“Baby,” another sad smile popped on her lips as she looked at him, completely taken. She wanted nothing more either. If only that could be their future. “I am sure they will forgive us, all things considered.”

“We are breaking up, after all.”

“Not just yet,” Allie kissed his lips, hungrily drugging him into a deeper kiss and a more desperate embrace that Mark didn’t refuse.

#mark davis #mark davis aew #dunkzilla #mark davis smut

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bonefall · 1 year ago

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Obviously nobody should be talking poorly about any of Bumble's competitors but it's insane how people voting for Alex are going 'its a CAT'. Like, okay and? Alex Dewitt is ink on paper and we rightfully take issue with her writing to the point of making it a term, so why is it any different when a fictional cat has misogynistic writing? And these are cats with a society, laws, religion, and understanding of (herbal) medicine. They are on par with people. And, it's a YA series. Shouldn't people take the message "fat, abused women dying isn't a problem because they can't contribute ackshually, and if we acknowledge it is how can the goodboy main character stop licking his brother's kitty boots if he's a bad person :(" as a red flag in any series? Let alone one for kids? Like, did everyone outside of the fandom miss the Ashfur defense? Because I was there for it and it was pretty clear a LOT of impressionable children genuinely believed the "he only loved too much" excuse hook line and sinker, and blamed Squirrelflight for everything. There were so many fans genuinely believing that I literally remember seeing hate art and fanfics portraying Squirrelflight as a horrible person just for asking to stay friends. That alone was a testament to how harmful Warriors can be, all because of that one scene of Ashfur being spotted in StarClan.

And with that fiasco in mind, how can anyone trivialize it to Bumble being 'just a cat'? Especially when kids are reading this, and could really take the harmful message Gray Wing the """Wise""" has for them that if you have nothing to contribute to the people you desperately need help from, you are stupid for trying to ask for it. I was lucky to not take any of the really harmful portrayals relationships in Warriors to heart, but not everyone will be. People should support Alex all they want, she deserves it! But downplaying what happened to Bumble because she's a cat is harmful :(

Alex DeWitt's story is so shocking and straightforward that you're able to sum it up with a single word; "Fridging." It's become the touchstone for a wider discussion about misogyny in media because it is so evocative and so easy to explain as an example.

That IS important. That IS a legacy.

But somehow, if you try to explain how EARLY misogyny in media starts, and how pervasive it is even in "less respectable" mediums like YA xenofiction, they lose their fucking minds. People who refuse to read anything at all going, "what could possibly have happened to a cat?"

You know what, though? I'm GLAD Bumble is winning, and I'm proud of this fandom and our campaigning. I think we actually deserve to be a little smug about this after all the damn "justa cat" comments. Bumble doesn't HAVE a legacy. The book doesn't VALUE HER LIFE AT ALL! "It's so sad Clear Sky is going to have his reputation ruined for killing this useless woman. I never liked Bumble anyway, what matters about this is my poor brother :("

The runner of the Canon Misogyny Tournament mentioned in passing how they kinda take issue with the idea of quantifying misogyny based on suffering because of how it oversimplifies the insidious ways it can express in a narrative, and I've thought a lot about that a lot. They're right.

And Alex is THE posterchild of this because her death is ghoulish. We needed what happened to her as a simple, evocative term, to advance the conversation around media misogyny and get it through people's skulls. But, she has become the conclusion of a sentiment that the more gruesome the death is, the more misogynist that makes it.

but. The fridge was not the misogynistic part of what happened to Alex. THE FACT SHE WAS ONLY INVENTED TO DIE FOR THE PAIN OF A MAN IS. THAT is what the term "fridging" is supposed to point out; The absolute LACK of interest in her as a 3-dimensional character, in women as people, to the point where the writer chose to send Alex out in a gorey, disrespectful way solely as a motivator for her boyfriend. THAT is the bad part.

But instead people have latched onto the fridge half. More violent = more misogyny.

There's a lot of ways for a narrative to be misogynist, though. To downplay the lives, emotions, or contributions of women characters, and to reinforce real-world bigotry.

Warrior Cats does a LOT of this, blaming bad mothers who didn't shut up and accept their 'purpose in life' for Brokenstar's tyranny, making it a TRAGIC thing that Clear Sky is being held accountable for murdering women because his man pain makes it ok, and even blaming Squirrelflight for rejecting Ashfur's advances which caused him to go "crazy" and attempt to murder her children (until, of course, the welcomed retcon of TBC).

Bumble's death, because she is a fat woman, is treated as unavoidable. It's not a terrible thing she died, Gray Wing never really liked her anyway, what REALLY "matters" is that now no one likes her murderer.

She was stupid and selfish to even ask for help, because she is so fat and weak. To be upset at all that her only friend watched her get dragged back to her abuser. Even as she bleeds out, she gets to listen to Turtle Tail making up excuses and wishing she "could have found happiness."

All while Tom the Wifebeater, the fat man who physically assaulted two women, gets a big cutesy redemption death and honored and beloved by everyone and even gets to "lose weight and that's so good :)". Because the books value the lives of men more than the lives of women, plain and simple.

Bumble wasn't just fridged. It's worse than that. Her life doesn't even have enough value to get Clear Sky held accountable for murdering her, because beloved writer favorite Gray Wing hated her for being friends with his wife and doesn't want anyone to hate his poor, innocent big brother :(

Like you said, you can ask anyone in this fandom and they'll tell you about the impressionable kid they were, or have MET, who was badly influenced by the constant misogyny of these books. People who defend Bramblestar tooth and nail as he abuses his wife, the screeds against both Leafpool and Nightcloud for making Crowfeather sad, and the absolutely radioactive Ashfur Defenders who have thankfully died down since TBC's welcome retcons.

It doesn't just end with annoying internet comments. Those kids carry that kind of message with them. It reinforces existing biases and causes them to downplay abused women and toxic men in their real lives.

But sure, "just a cat." Cool way to downplay the 20-year-old bestselling YA fantasy series that is still ongoing but ok. 50000 Bumblesweeps upon ye.

(though i do also have to say, since I started speaking more about it today, I'm seeing more non-wc fans push back against the 'just a cat' comments. Sincerely, thanks guys. It's not every DC fan or Alex voter, just a very vocal section of sore losers willing to downplay misogyny because they're angry.)

#Bumblesweep #Vote Bumble #Misogyny #fatphobia #abuse

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rythmicjea · 8 months ago

Text

On the last day of summer vacation... The Writer and His Muse

Full disclosure, I wrote another version of this last night. It was... factually correct. But it just wasn't good. So I saved it and took a few steps away and realized what I was supposed to be writing. I apologize now this is going to be long.

When I came up with the idea to write this series, I wasn't sure of the structure. If I'm honest, I still don't know lol. And after being called the "Riverdale Analysis Auteur" (thank you @storkmuffin ❤️), I promise to do the utmost to put forth only my best for you. There isn't going to be an uploading schedule so follow the tag "Code Word Jeronica" to see when I post.

My intention with this is to show that from the pilot there has always been the opportunity for Jeronica. I know what you're saying "there's an opportunity for ALL pairings."

And, yes, while you are correct. There were some possibilities that were more feasible than others (Sorry Jarchies!). For the skeptics out there, the showrunners did chemistry tests with so many pairings. Cole even admitted that he did one with Cami and he was open to a Jughead/Veronica relationship "It's the CW, anything can happen"! Coding isn't always intentional or needs to be taken seriously. And that's okay. As a writer myself, I understand the "side character curse" all too well.

With all of that being said, I will only be focusing on the evidence we get in the show itself. I may reference the comics sporadically (like how Jughead and Veronica have been paired up/dated several times in the comics, throughout the comic's history. Below is a picture from Pep #154 in 1962!) but I'll never reference anything outside of the source material as evidence.

The Writer and His Muse

It's established from the pilot that Jughead is a writer, an aspiring novelist. All writers need a muse. Something that inspires them to put pen to paper. In Greek Mythology, Muse was a Greek Goddess who gave inspiration to all. Often, a muse is referred to as a beautiful woman but it can be anything. The show Riverdale is the muse for fanfiction writers who write in the universe. Jughead has several muses throughout the show. He goes through various tribulations with his writing. We see him suffer with writer's block, make a deal with the devil (both Jugheads in Rivervale), and we know that the story that put him on the map was a telling of him and his friends.

In the overall show we know of five big stories that Jughead writes. Jason Blossom's murder, The Red Dahlia, Killing Mr. Honey, The Outcasts, and Bend. Towards. Justice. All follow a pretty basic plotline. Something happens, a group of teens have to investigate, there's a surprise twist, and then a resolution.

But, through all of these he has one muse that is constant. Would you believe me if I told you it was our fair Veronica? Because it is. Before you ask "What about Betty?", let me ask you the same. What about her? She is a character in his stories. Sometimes she's the main character. But being the main character and being a muse are two very different things. Veronica's presence in his stories symbolize different major elements to a story. More than any other Riverdale character.

Throughout the series we see Jughead struggle with his writing. His father tells him to keep writing as a way to get out of Riverdale and not get caught up with the Serpents. We see him have profound writer's block, plagiarize another author, change the way he writes due to his disability, and physically lose his ability to write. His writer's block, and the complications with it, start in season 5 and aren't resolved until season 6.

Here's an unexpected bonus from helping Veronica...

...I started writing again.

She is, and has always been, his muse. This is the first time he acknowledges it, but the clues have been there since day one.

Jason Blossom's Murder

The first story begins with the pilot's very first scene. It also introduces the audience to a concept called "The Center of a Story". The center of a story is just how it sounds. It is the element that brings everyone together. However, while this can be the main character and what that character goes through, it can simply be a person or place that has very little interaction at all with the main story. In a murder mystery, which Season 1 is, the center of a story can be the murder victim. In telling that story we can either have flashbacks of the person's life up until they are killed; or, they are simply the reason why everyone comes together (and not even just to find out why. Sometimes the why isn't necessary).

Jason Blossom is the center of the story. It's all about finding out who killed him. But the muse of the story? The hook? The character's entrance that actually connects everyone together? That's Veronica. "On the last day of summer vacation, a new mystery rolled into town." Jason's murder is the B-plot of the season. It might have kicked everything off, and the action might be connected to him, but it's not the entire reason why Jughead is writing this book. In fact, the opening soliloquy says:

Our story is about a town, a small town, and the people who live in the town. From a distance it presents itself like so many other small towns all over the world. Safe, decent, innocent. Get closer though? And you start seeing the shadows underneath. The name of our town is Riverdale.

The story was never about Jason Blossom.

The Red Dahlia

I'm not going to touch on this much, because I have a whole post planned just about this episode. But, I want to point out that out of all of the stories we see him write, this is the only story that focuses solely on one character. It's completely about Veronica. She, like Jason, is the catalyst. The difference is that, unlike Jason, she plays a major role.

Killing Mr. Honey

In his last story to submit to the University of Iowa, it's about how seven teenagers try to get rid of their unethical and overbearing principal. We have known up to this point that Jughead loves horror. He likes to write "Lovecraftian" style stories. The difference between the two are HPL rejected morality. He considered himself a "Morality Atheist". Jughead, on the other hand, loves morality tales. (In 1955 there's a whole episode about it.) This is most evident in this telling. Each character represents an architype. Veronica, arguably, is the most important architype. She represents morality. She's the only one who really challenges what they are doing. Specifically, Jughead. At face value someone can go "Well, Jughead and Veronica aren't friends so it makes sense". First off, no, they very much are friends. But, second, if they weren't, why put her in such a place of honor. In actuality, given his character in the show (and the comics), Archie should be the moral compass of the story.

The Outcasts

The Outcasts is really the only story that we have very little knowledge of. I freely admit that for evidence, it's the weakest of the five. It presents coded details for the audience to infer their meaning. Jughead is the Viper Leader, the Serpents are the Vipers, but is Betty The Homecoming Queen? Most likely. The co-ed he takes home tells him that he wrote a "very sexy book" in regards to the Viper Leader and the Homecoming Queen. However, in his drunken voicemail, he lambasts Betty. One line in particular stands out "You're a cold, fake, duplicitous bitch. And once people read my book, everyone's going to see that". Now, we don't know what is in the book (Kind of wish they'd released it) and it could end with the Homecoming Queen cheating on the Viper Leader with the Football Captain (I'm inferring that that would be Archie's character). Or, they could have lived happily ever after. Or... using the ambiguity to stretch the possibility... the Homecoming Queen could have been Veronica.

Why? Well, there's a reason why the Enemies to Lovers trope is so popular. What better way to get back at your ex for cheating but to immortalize their best friend (who was also cheated on by your best friend) as the true-love-fairy-tale-princess of your wildly popular NYT best seller?

Bend. Towards. Justice.

The last story we see Jughead write is when they've been taken back to 1955. 7x01 is very reminiscent of the pilot. But, for Jughead and his writing, it's always been in the details. Season 7 is my favorite season, and trust me, I have a lot to say about what happens. So, I'll keep this brief. Even when he describes Tabitha it's very factual. There's no emotion. He lists who she is and the reason why she might know what's going on. Please don't take this to mean that at this point he isn't still in love with her, because he very much is. When he sees her, he doesn't know the 1955 version isn't his girlfriend. He keeps all of his emotions bottled up until he can figure out a plan. And to spare her from any craziness because her memories also might be gone. Up until this point, everyone's description is "This person is here, and this is who they are". Including himself.

For starters I live in an abandoned train car with Hot Dog which... actually tracks... Betty and Kevin aren't merely friends, they're dating. Cheryl's twin brother is alive, but he's not Jason, he's Julian. No sign of a Reggie yet. But Archie exists and he's pretty much a teen Charles Atlas... I've been waiting to reconnect with the one person who might shed some light on our predicament because she was both Chronokenetic and the town's guardian angel. My girlfriend, Tabitha Tate.

He mentions that all of this information is "overwhelming, heartbreaking". But he doesn't say why because there are many reasons why. His best friends don't remember anything. Do they even really know him? With one one question he realizes that the person he loves doesn't love him back. But he breaks this way of introducing the "characters" when he introduces Veronica. It's all emotion. There's even a sexy jazz trumpet riff announcing her.

"Damn..." His thoughts whispered to him breathlessly. "Even in 1955, Veronica Lodge still knew how to make an entrance." He goes from boredom to attention. He straightens his shoulders, he sits up to see her better, and he doesn't blink. Like everyone else, and very unlike him, his whole attention is on her.

THE PILOT

Now that we've gone through the five major stories we know he writes, let's go back to the end to see the beginning. The last episode of the entire series ends with a typewriter. All of the stories mentioned above are stories written within the main one. Riverdale itself is a story (possibly Archie Comics fanfiction) written by Jughead.

The pilot itself, as all TV shows, has a narrative woven throughout. There's characters, conflict, plot, etc. Though the episode opens with Jason's murder the pilot was never about that. Hell, Jughead is barely featured in it. We see him two significant times. The first time is two minutes in, where he's drinking his coffee writing his story. And he says the classic line, "We were still talking about the Fourth of July tragedy on the last day of summer vacation, when a new mystery rolled into town." We are introduced to Veronica Lodge, by Jughead, right after we're introduced to him. At this point he's only named Cheryl and Jason Blossom as that is the impetus for this show/season. "There needs to be a dead body".

The pilot is about Veronica. She moves to Riverdale, she meets Archie and Betty, she mentions Our Town, and her desire for Archie is established. Compared to Veronica, it takes 8 minutes to mention Jason again and 10 minutes to bring him back into the plot. Then nothing significant happens with him until the very end of the episode! But even after that brief interlude it's only 5 minutes later Veronica is given her first conflict. And by the halfway point, she's thoroughly decimated said conflict.

So, Miss Auteur, why are you bringing this up?

Because Riverdale was supposed to be about Archie. But by the end of the first half of the first episode Veronica is the only character to have a full plot arc and even an epilogue! More importantly, she is immediately woven into the fabric of the town. Even though the Varchie romance is introduced we must remember how the episode is being framed.

If you compare the narration to the writing on Jughead's laptop, it doesn't match up. Cole Sprouse might have read everything on said laptop and it was shortened for time. But, I wouldn't read too much into the discrepancies. I mean, the previous two pages are exact copies of each other lol. And while there might not be numbered pages it's at least four and I'm baffled about what he could have written prior to the opening lines. Also, as a writer, there are the things we think we're going to write and the things we actually do write (For example, I wrote a 16 chapter 100k+ Zack and Cody fanfic, and I didn't know the show existed! The Suite Adult Life). Our thoughts vs our words carry weight to a story. An argument can be made that either position is the most important. Is it better to write out that which we keep so closely guarded so it may live on in infamy? Or are the most profound thoughts those we keep closest to our chests?

Though one little line stands out when I do read it...

"See, the Blossoms had their tendrils wrapped around the entire town - no one wanted to make enemies of them."

Who is the person not wrapped up in their tendrils? And who immediately made an enemy of Cheryl Blossom?

Bisous, Bisous... Votre Auteur.

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celestiall0tus · 1 year ago

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Abuse is Abuse. Stop blaming the victims and glorifying the abusers!

This needs to be said for such a long time. All across media we see abuse glorified, its victims blamed, and the abusers getting a slap on the wrist more often than not. Especially in recent times. Buckle up because we're in for a ride.

Right off the bat, I have an inkling of what I'm talking about. I suffered from mental and emotional abuse for my entire childhood and teen years. My early 20s were full of strife as I tried to cope with that realized trauma and the fucking shit storm that became our world. So, from an abuse victim and an individual who suffers terrible anxiety and depression, I want to touch on these characters and our perceptions of them.

Pink Diamond

The biggest one I want to address is Pink Diamond. Yes, Pink Diamond/ Rose Quartz. This will always be my personal sore sport because Pink was a victim. She was a child in mindset and actions among the other Diamonds. She was raised by them and thus absorbed all their ways. She was treated more like a jester to entertain the other diamonds and locked away when she wreaked havoc, possibly even bubbled for times. She wasn't treated like the other Diamonds, like what she was supposed to be. She was less than that and powerless to be herself. She had to go through with what they said and didn't have her own autonomy in that degree. She had to fit into a mold that she wasn't meant to fit into.

And honestly, Pink is the strongest of all the victims I'll be touching on. The hardest thing isn't acknowledging the abuse or seeking help, it's breaking free. I haven't even done that part, not fully. But Pink did. She rebelled. She fought against the other Diamonds for what she wanted and believed in. She saw the truth and took a stand. She grew. She changed. She moved on. Despite being a gem, she was the most human of all the cast. And yet we ignore everything because of the decisions she made that impacted everyone around her.

All her followers were corrupted. Pearl was sworn to silence because of a simple order. Steven had to deal with her baggage. And, I'll be fair, it's ass, but not entirely her fault. In life, we can't say what will happen. We often need to roll with the punches and work with what we know at the time. Pink didn't know how the Diamonds would react to her "shattering" because while they claimed to "love" her, what reason would she have to believe it? For Pearl and Steven for that matter, Rose thought the Diamonds were done with Earth. She thought she was free. She never intended Steven to have to deal with her baggage since she thought it was all done and over with. In all of FIVE THOUSAND YEARS, the Diamonds never came for them. She likely thought they were all safe and could live peacefully. They'd never have to look back. She'd never have to look back. Her past wouldn't hold her back. She could finally be free to be herself.

I truly find it appalling that she is damned for this. She broke free. She made mistakes but took a stand. She fought for her own freedom. She didn't have to have her past hold her back anymore, but she's the villain. It's her fault for everything. She should have just been a good little Diamond and stayed fucking put, right? Who cares what she did as Rose Quartz was for the good when Pink Diamond was the incarnate of evil, right? The one thing that I will give a little flack on is Spinel. That was upsetting and she did act rashly telling Spinel to stay when she could have brought Spinel with her, but I understand why she didn't since she wanted to be taken seriously at the time.

Pink deserved so much more than what she got. Pink was a victim, but in the end, they made her out to be the monster.

Miraculous

I want to cover Miraculous as a whole as there are many different types of abuse that go on within this show that are typically swept under the rug unless it comes to truly "irredeemable" characters. So, let's start this:

The Bourgeois Family: This is such a messy ass family. Chloe is outright blamed for the abuse that she suffers from having shitty ass fucking parents. Audrey we know is no saint. She is literally the girlboss businesswoman that ain't got time for her family. Andre is slightly better, but still instilled negative morals in Chloe and while recognizing it in himself, failed to see what he did to Chloe as his fault. Instead, Chloe is seen as the problem to everything. That she just picked up on those habits and sought to make people miserable as a result. Chloe is a victim, but also an abuser. She projects how she's treated onto others as a coping mechanism and a catharsis. Zoe might be a victim because who knows exactly what Audrey did, but she does seem rather well adjusted, so I don't know. Clarity on Zoe: I don't think she's an abuser, I moreso touched on her being abused having lived with Audrey, but it throws me off as she's very well adjusted, so it makes me think that her father was a good one or, just as likely, Audrey had very little involvement in Zoe's upbringing.

The Fathom Family: This is... interesting. So, we see how Felix saw Colt and that yes, Colt abused Felix. That was addressed, though Amelie does enable Felix a little and was a little blind to the horrible acts that Felix had committed. So, no big thing on the Fathoms, but it's still there, but was acknowledged.

The Agreste Family: Holy fuck, someone call CPS, because this boy needs to get out of there. Gabriel very obviously hits every single key points of an abuser. Nathalie does enable the abuse a little in the start, but at the same time, she kinda needs a job. And the money must be good enough and add to boot she can live there too. I also don't appreciate how there are times where Adrien reacts in a way you'd expect a victim of abuse to react, but gets damned for it. Like in the New York special when he fucks up and Ladybug yells at him, he would give up his Miraculous because he feels like absolute shit and horrible for failing. Or agreeing with his father that he should have never gone there? These are all symptoms of abuse and yet he's damned for those moments. He is a fucking victim like Chloe.

The Tsurugi Family: Can someone say, helicopter parent? Now, this in of itself is a kinda thing? I believe? I know it's something of stereotype that Asian parents can be overbearing and overprotective. Kinda like Ming from Turning Red, which was pulled from the director's own experiences growing up. So, this is a little hard to judge. It is still abuse no matter how you paint it, but again, I don't feel like I'm the best person to talk about it. So, I'm going to leave this one here.

Marinette: I hate to add fuel to the fire, but here we go. Marinette is a stalking. Stalking. Is. Abuse! I don't care how much the show paints it as a joke, it isn't. A lot of us know this, but I want to stress that stalking is a form of abuse. And it's honestly terrifying that Adrien falls in love with his Yandere (she is, fight me) stalker. I get that she was a victim of bullying, but like, we get one episode on this trauma because of Kim (more thanks to Chloe) but how is the result stalking? I get wanting to know everything about a person before really considering them as a partner, but how does that equal stalking? It's just deeply unsettling and I cannot personally justify shipping Adrienette due to this.

Chloe: I have to fair, Chloe, despite being a victim, is also an abuser. Bullying is never right. And in that same episode we see Marinette's trauma, we see the hell that Chloe put Marinette through. I don't fucking care what baggage you carry, that shit ain't right in any sense. I was honestly appalled by how far Chloe went to isolate, alienate, and torture Marinette. Like, holy fuck, how is Marinette not more of a mess? Like Marinette, a victim can become an abuser.

The only one in Miraculous that gets something of a punishment is Chloe, which is upsetting. Marinette gets the boy she's been stalking. Felix and Andre get a half-assed redemption. Audrey and Tomoe don't change. Zoe exists. Gabriel gets his wish and rewrites reality. Nathalie is Nathalie.

Elsa

Say what you want, but Elsa was a victim of abuse. She locked away, told to hide her powers, to constantly: conceal, don't feel, don't let it show. She suffered from terrible anxiety and depression due to her powers and the danger they possessed. I mean, she did almost accidentally kill her sister when they were kids.

Say what you will about material made outside the movie, but I did read the Dangerous Secrets book that goes into Elsa's parents backstory. We do get to see them struggle to keep her powers a secret from the town since tensions were still high and the people didn't trust magic. And having the heir to the throne born with magic is very dangerous. It touches on their struggle to raise Elsa, keep her secret, and how it nearly tore the family apart. They searched for years for answers to help their daughter while Agnarr raised her how he was.

This I can find a little excusable. There is no manual to raise children. We kinda have to pull from our own experiences of what to do and not do. Agnarr lost his father at a young age and was king at a young age. He carried his father's mantra of "conceal, don't feel, don't let it show" with him and it genuinely helped him where it damned Elsa.

To that degree, I can forgive Agnarr and Iduna seeing their side of things. They genuinely tried, had no fucking clue what they were doing, and were put between a rock and a hard place. However, the means don't justify the ends and Elsa was damned for the type of abuse she suffered.

So, it really is no wonder why Elsa's first instinct is to run. It's to hide away. To isolate herself as she always had been. She's safer, and everyone else for that matter, if she's kept far away from them. It's why Let it Go is such a cathartic song. She is free (though still chained). She doesn't have to worry about them (not knowing what she did.) She is queen of her own kingdom (even if she abandoned her old one). She was free, but to a point. Her arc doesn't come to some completion until the second movie with Show Yourself. The line "You're the one you've been waiting for," is absolutely true and heartbreaking. That was the moment that Elsa was finally free.

Cinderella

Last one and one of the biggest ones. This irks me a lot. Especially the Disney one. Cinderella was abused for years, humiliated, and isolated. Forced to be a maid in her own household. And yet she's to blame? I'm sorry, how?

How was any of that her fault? She was trapped in a terrible situation with no where to go. Don't forget, she was a child when that happened so there are years of conditioning and abuse. Even through it all, Cinderella was kind, loving, and bold. She never gave up until the moment she could have a dream come true, to go to the ball, only to have it destroyed by her stepfamily.

And, what? We blame her for not saving herself and neededing a man to do it? First of all, you're giving that bitch boy too much credit. He provided an escape, but he didn't save her. In all honesty, you should be giving credit to the mice and birds. They really saved Cinderella, who then saved herself when she presented her other slipper. And so what if she needed help? Breaking free from an abuser is the hardest thing to do and I've met only a handful of people that freed themselves. A lot of people usually need help. So, fuck off she should have saved herself. Fuck off she should have been strong enough to break free. Abuse is abuse. And when you suffer that shit from fucking childhood, that is deeply ingrained in your subconscious. You are fucked for life. And if you weren't, here's a cookie.

Abuse is abuse. We offer redemption to the abusers, but condemn the abused in the process. We need to break this cycle and it starts with us. Writers and artists, it's our job to break these cycles. To create pieces that are true expressions of our experiences and the truths behind them. Adding a touch of reality that the older generation are trying to blind us and gaslight us for. It starts with all of us.

This has been a L0tus talk. Have a lovely day.

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