#it's such a pity that in school it's not taught properly

[re-discover-communication]

My Next Semester fic :) It's my first and the one I'm most attached to, I left a couple little pieces of me in there and did so much research to depict the period correctly (it's set in the 80's).

[laurentidal]

Prowling

Bala was a Jungle Cat. She was strong and fierce and determined and ready to strike. She always had been. Raised by her grandmother, Bala had been taught from a young age to take no shit and make no compromises. Jungle Cats did not yield ground, so neither would she.

She studied hard to make grades. Elementary school. High school. College. She was always top of her class anywhere she went. When she got a job, it was a great job, and though she was hired high up, she continued to climb the ranks. Jungle Cats were apex predators. Where they went, the ruled, and so did she.

Any time she had doubts, she would go to her grandmother and talk. She was the best. She would lift Bala’s chin and stare right into her eyes and ask “What are you?”

Bala’s answer was always the same. “I am a Jungle Cat.”

Afterward, the way forward always seemed clear. Fight. Win. Dominate. And that’s what she would do. And every night she would come home to her grandmother who took such good care of her. They would eat and tell stories and watch television. Then at the end of the night, she would take Bala’s hands and sing to her softly until she was asleep. She said it was an old lullaby she’d learned as a girl and it always calmed her so.

When her grandmother had died, it was the first time she had felt lost. Properly lost. Her grandmother had been her rock. She floundered without her reassurance. But when she’d visit the grave, there was an inscription under the dates.

“What are you?”

And she would mutter the answer softly to the empty cemetery. It wasn’t as powerful as if she were there, staring into her eyes, but it was enough.

The years went by and she met a man who she loved deeply. She wished she could have introduced them, and one night she cried softly to him. She missed the woman that raised her. In response, he sang the lullaby that she had taught him. The one her grandmother used to sing to her. And he held her hands as she drifted off to sleep.

“Things will get better,” he whispered to her sleeping body, then jumped as she repeated the words back to him in a flat monotone, eyes shut tight.

“Can you hear me?” he asked.

“Yes,” she answered.

“What’s happening?”

And she told him. Everything she never knew she knew. She told him that her grandmother had put her in this trance every night for years and strengthened their bond. She’d filled her with hopes and dreams. She’d written her whole life for her. And she’d implanted triggers to reinforce her synthetic wants and desires. Her grandmother had turned her into a Jungle Cat slowly each night, until the predator was ready to hunt on her own.

He stared at her, love and pity and awe in his heart and finally asked the question her grandmother never had.

“What do you want?”

What did all Jungle Cats want?

“Freedom.”

He told her she would remember everything and woke her, trying his best to erase the triggers she’d be given. She cried and wrapped her arms around him. Thanked him. Kissed him. Then pushed him to the bed and got on all fours. She looked at him with a predatory stare, allowing her clothes to fall as off as they could. He smiled. He’d seen the look before. She was a Jungle Cat. She took what she wanted, and she wanted him.

How’d he get so lucky?

Thanks for reading! If you are a fan of my work, consider buying me a coffee. Any contribution is insanely appreciated. 💖

[medstudentblues]

entry #1

you put my head on your shoulder, squeezed my right shoulder, lifted my chin to you, but didn't kiss me. not just yet. the light was off and the soft yellow light was pouring all over your childhood room. you just got off from your 48 hours straight duty, looking so tired and yet so good-looking, fresh from the barber shop. and i was catching up on sleep the whole day because i was from duty. finally, we were there at that moment we so badly waited for. we didn't touch much. not yet. i was drinking juice, asking about your day and your favorite [redacted]. what you hate the most. you were drinking beer. you brought so many sweet treats because you said you didn't know what i liked.

so we talked. we moved upstairs because you saw me pouting, feeling pity that you looked so tired and haven't slept properly in two days. "but you will lie down with me?" yes. of course yes. as we were going up the stairs i saw your stairs full of religious statues, and i asked, "are you religious?" and then didn't wait for an answer and said "flexible morals." and you smirked. that smirk i get crazy over with.

and still, we weren't touching. i noticed you have books on your bookshelf. classic books you see everywhere, i said. and i told you about how i read shakespeare out of curiosity when i was young because there was no shakespeare class when we were in high school. how we were taught only greeks. "what are you thinking?" you asked, always curious about what i was thinking. "the greeks," i replied. you smirked. i smiled. and then we listened to my favorite songs at the moment and i had to repeat the song because i just had to show you my favorite part of the song. you found it adorable.

not until cuddling was brought up, it was the only time you finally touched me. but you were always careful not to push me. not demanding anything. not imposing anything. keeping your expectations low. you smelled so good. you looked so good, but we only had 15 minutes left because you had to go back to the hospital and i didn't want you to go. please don't go. please stay here with me, on your childhood bed, with the light spilling all over, and my stupid, silly songs playing. like a witness to our transient little world.

you kissed me, finally, and it felt perfect. just right. you grabbed my waist, but not touching others. and i kept stopping you because i was curious. i asked about what it was like to be a first year [redacted] resident, second year resident, and so on, so on. you laughed because you found my questions adorable. you put your tongue inside. i stopped you again. why, you like [redacted]? you asked. and i said "yes, but it's long and hard!"

"but nothing comes easy anyway. if it's easy, then it's not for you. besides, i don't think you will be choosing easy anyway." you said.

"why?"

"because you are good."

you grabbed me, and i kissed you more. i wanted - i want more of you. i want to trace the stars on your skin, to know more about what you are thinking, to fill your days with kisses and laughter and silly silly jokes that only you and i get. i want to crack the world open just so i can have you.

[sunsbleeding]

“I think I’ll just stay with her till I get my birthday presents”, she laughs, sounding more pig than human. I nod along as she continues, “she such a freak she just stares at the wall all day”, I bite my tongue, because saying the wrong thing would get her all despondent and quiet. Agree or be ignored, just like the shadow of my mother and her silent treatments.

But the thing is I used to just stare at the wall all day too, for whole weeks actually. I’d be so depressed that the heaviness in my stomach would anchor me to my bedspread; nothing to do but watch the sun change shape over the walls as it sank. I did this in high school a few months before the hazy night my life was supposed to end. The EMTs refused to let me choose though. Stuffed my soul back in my body and wiped vomit off my face and chest with those cheap paper towels you usually only find in gas station bathrooms.

When we talked ill of her girlfriend I should have said “well you’re using her, you’re manipulating her, you don’t respect her boundaries, you date a wizard created by a terf in your head, and to top it all off you’re in love with a man that lives in LA, for God sakes you write poetry about him for her to see (and laugh when it’s the only poem she doesn’t heart), you make out with me and tell me not to tell her, you can keep her on a leash if she doesn’t know you lie”

So you go, scurry on putrid rat and tell MY stories to your “friends” but boy do I have tales to tell about you, and none of them are even remotely funny or interesting or complex, because you are not any of those things. The stories are just snippets of a girl who was and always will be a boring beige wall of a person, spineless, dreamless, talentless and going nowhere bright. Couldn’t even sign up for university classes properly my ass, you’re just too lazy with a lack of comprehension or a knack for learning about anything that matters. I went through all of university without the money for therapy, without meds for my anxiety or depression, or a diagnosis for my ADHD. You have all the help in the world afforded to you and you still choose to do nothing with your life. Pathetic. You wouldn’t have enough time to read fan fiction anyways so it’s better you just study that, since it’s the only thing you’re remotely good at.

You tell them about your addict, child molested, depressed ex-best friend, who’s seen the world, experienced so much life, built a dream into something tangible, made money you took full advantage of, finished university (it’s not for everyone and that’s okay but let’s be honest you’d rather read smut some horny weirdo on the internet made up than learn about anything real, meaningful or socially relevant).

This all has taught me that I have real friends and supporters in my circle, I have people that’ll sit with me in the bathroom while I’m having a panic attacks. Celebrate being even five days clean. Ask me if I’m okay if I look spaced out (dissociating is something I deal with).

Because of this I remembered I have passions, and taste, and empathy (the word you skipped when you were reading the dictionary). I’ll tell them about you, a waste of space nobody who feeds off the energies of the pretty or cool or interesting girls around her because she hasn’t got a thing going for herself. I have pity for the things you went through but you can only use your trauma as an excuse to be a bad person for so long…. You are a mooch, a liar, a dull woman with the media literacy of an incel and the brainpower of a rock. (Maybe you did do too many whippets in LA smh)

Having a best friend is awesome, having any type of relationship with a delusional psycho narcissist is something I’m done with.

[rottingcheng]

ZhanCheng Day 2: Hanahaki Helper

Prompt: lwj having hanahaki and jc thinks it’s for wwx but it’s actually for him. Suggested by Tyler. ao3 link

"You have to drink the water. And open up your mouth properly."

Jiang Cheng let go of one end of the plastic bag he was holding, grabbing the water bottle to wave it at the Lan brother's nose. Glaring, Lan Wangji accepted, then downed half the liquid in two gulps – or, one and a half, before immediately descending back into the bag and coughing up another bout of hyacinths.

It was a pitiful sight, the once infallible Lan Wangji choking up flowers at the back of the school library. Though Jiang Cheng felt for him, he knew it was no one's fault but the boy’s own. It was Hanahaki disease, after all. The affliction Jiang Cheng was hit by all of last summer. The grand punishment for an unrequited love. The incredibly effective incentive for ending it.

Now on the other side, Jiang Cheng felt a certain sense of responsibility over his classmate's situation; it would have been so much easier last year if he'd had someone by his side to help him, to tell him it was possible for it to end.

He patted Lan Wangji's back, grimacing sympathetically, and Lan Wangji promptly deposited a singular wet plum blossom above the hyacinths.

"That the last of it?" Jiang Cheng asked. For him, the fits usually ended with the smallest flower.

Lan Wangji arose, wiping somewhat savagely at his spit-covered mouth with the back of his hand.

"It's good to know when to stop. If you keep forcing it, it'll fuck up your stomach."

It was usual for Lan Wangji not to speak or respond to him, especially whenever Jiang Cheng swore without thinking. A semester periodically spending an hour after school typing up his notes taught him as much. Nothing against him. Boy was just quiet and didn't have any desire to mince words. He could even consider it a refreshing take compared to the company of his brother Wei WuXian, who found silence so detestable he'd sing limericks just to quash it.

Oh right. His brother.

Lan Wangji took another swig of water, chest still heaving from the stress of upchucking sticky flowers from his stomach. Jiang Cheng tied the plastic bag with a half-bow, then pulled his backpack towards them on the floor. He had a bottle of honey aloe tea in the drink pocket, of which he'd taken one sip of while on his way to the library. He slipped it from the mesh pocket and stuck it forward between them.

"Here. Honey's good for the throat. It probably feels like something's crawled its way outta there, right? If you don't take care of it, you'll start tasting blood, and your flowers will become red-flecked and a biological hazard."

He could almost taste the old metallic tang at the back of his throat as he described it. It was a good thing he'd taken a liking to the taste of honey aloe while he'd been sick, and continued drinking it even after he'd gotten better. There was not much more relieving than the sweetness of honey gliding down one's throat, quelling the bitterness and strain petals and stems tended to leave behind.

Lan Wangji did an excellent job at expressing his ingratitude for this. He glared at the bottle, the broken seal, the centimetre of missing portion at the neck. Then he glared at Jiang Cheng, who, seeing his expression, pulled his lips into an irritated scowl.

"You're the one with the rabies here – d'you wanna have a bleeding throat or what? Just fucking drink the aloe, Lan Wangji."

He thrusted the bottle at the other boy's chest impatiently. Lan Wangji took it, the fingers that brushed Jiang Cheng's hand feeling clammy and cold. He finished the bottle in three consecutive gulps.

"Better?" Jiang Cheng asked, afterwards. The boy certainly looked better.

Lan Wangji didn't look at him.

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

(This is a part one I will continue later on ao3 hopefully. I have no self control. Weh ;;) Written for Milk's 30 Days of ZhanCheng! Ao3 Collection.

[lokisivy]

Look what you made me do - Eddie Munson

(Part 4)

Warnings: cursing, Henderson reader.

Since yesterday night, Eddie hasn't talked to you, and you guys shared some classes he was being cold you are starting to regret last night. you went to talk to Robin during lunch. Just a quick chat before you head to your tables.

"You actually had sex with him?" Robin said, surprised.

"Yes, I did, Robin, and he hasn't said anything since, and I'm sure that he wasn't having a bad time," you said sadness laced in your tone.

I was more angry than sad he was the one who wanted me to say yes to it why is it like that whatever fucked up shit he has going on he needs to fix it because I won't be a way for him to escape whatever shit he is going through he is making me play the role of the fool.

"Men are horrible, but whatever happens, don't show weakness to him, act like you dont care, he is trying to get to you." she instructed you. you nod. "I have to go to my band," she says "Okay see you later."

While you had your conversation with Robin Eddie and his club, it had their own discussion about you.

...

Eddie's POV

"Honestly, Eddie, why didn't you kick her out yet I know she is good at DnD, but we have Mike and Dustin now," Gareth said.

"Yeah It is like you gone soft for her ever since she joined." Jeff agreed with Gareth.

My blood boiled I've had this stupid feeling of making Y/N since the day I met her. Yesterday was just making me crave more she is mine but I have a reputation of being unsympathetic and the fact that my club members have noticed then I need to take it down

"I haven't gone soft she isn't even that hot for me to fuck around with" I lied. I enjoyed last night very much, but Ill ruin the dark, scary image I built throughout the years with everyone. If I become soft towards you, people will start swinging at him like they used to hell even his friends have noticed already.

"Now shut up she is coming with her brother." Eddie silenced them

during lunch, you felt very unwelcomed it's like everyone was trying to kick you out slowly. You never felt that in the past year, but now it's different. Eddie never meant what he said to the guys at the table. god, he couldn't even stop thinking about the other night he never liked someone enough to get scared like that. His childhood taught him never to show emotion, so he never did he thinks that hiding it makes life easier, but it is not his not doing anyone a favour.

...

"If you have something to say to me, Eddie says it to my face," you said, throwing your tiny action figure on the board, standing up, leaning on the table towards eddie. he has been throwing indirect insults the entire game at you.

"You address me as Kas in the game Lady Silverhand." He yells

"Suck my dick, Munson."

"You would love that wouldn't you," he smirks

"Fuck you Eddie you want to tell me something or coward away?" You said impling about the other night.

"I have nothing to tell you y/n you're just a random chick who can't even play properly. Maybe you should join something suitable more for your gender." He said venomously, laughing

everyone was looking at you Dustin was shocked he looked at you with pity. your brother who looked up to you pitted you.

"And you're just a drug junky who has been repeating senior year for the past 2 years" you scoffed.

"Get out! " he yelled.

"Good I am done playing your stupid little games." You take off your hellfire shirt and throw it at him, leaving flipping them off. You had a sports bra on that covered up a lot.

you left the room to go to the gym. Most clubs and practices happen after school. Eddie was never rude to you, and now he kicked you out of hellfire just after you both had sex.

You had sought revenge. You had a plan in mind. You knew what would happen if you did not act on it

I enter the gym, interpreting the cheerleaders. "Chrissy can speak to you alone," you called out for Chrissy.

she aproched you leading you outside the gymnaism "is everything okay?" she asked.

"i wanna be a cheerleader."

"WHAT!!!" She said surprised

"I know, but Chrisy, you're the cap, and i am done with hellfire. I'm so tired of Eddie Munson. i just want to join Cheer again." You pled.

Chrisy and I go way back she helped me join during sophomore year, but it was exhausting, so when Dustin asked me to join Hellfire, I left now I'm doing it for revenge Eddie will get more attention now that you left or got kicked out... Rumours will start the basketball team will give him hell. The world moves on, another day another drama, But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma.

"ï don't know y/n i need to know if you're serious," She said

"I am very serious cheer looks better on college applications than fucking Eddie's Cult." I said venomously.

"I'm only gonna say yes because you, my friend, since childhood, but Y/N, I can't help you if fuck it up again."

"Oh my god, thank you so much Chrisy you won't regret it, I promise." I said happily

"Now go put on your outfit. we still have 3 hours of practice." She said, leading me to the changing room handing me my outfit again.

I put it on and look in the mirror. I look so pretty.

Oh Eddie, look what you made me do...

[algumaideia]

Don't know if you guys can tell but I'm not good with romance

...

Jason’s day was going as expected until the afternoon. He went to his classes, made a presentation of a school project, ate and now was going to his room. Nothing unusual. Until a classmate said the following:

“Your boyfriend is waiting for you at the front desk.”

Most people in this situation would ask what boyfriend? Because Jason Grace did not have a boyfriend, he had been single since he and Piper broke up. But Jason wasn’t most people, he just nodded and went to see the person or creature that was calling itself his boyfriend. Maybe it was a monster, he didn’t understand why it would go to such trouble to get to him, however it was definitely a possibility. It could also be a minor god, trying to reach for him. In the end he wasn’t prepared for who was waiting for him.

“Hey, Jason, it’s good to see you.”

Nico di Angelo was there in all his glory. His hair was longer, reaching the shoulders, he had gained some weight, had no black eyes, and just better. Nico was wearing a white shirt with a black skull melting on it, black jeans with chains. He looked good. But most important, Jason missed Nico. A lot.

“It’s good to see you too.”

Nico seemed amused. It was probably because Jason was a little awkward, still trying to process the situation.

“Can we go anywhere to talk or now is not a good moment?”

“Huh, no, I’m not busy. We could go to a restaurant or to my room, I don’t share it with anyone.”

“Your room sounds good.”

So they went to Jason’s room.

One thing was still a mystery though.

“Why did you say you were my boyfriend?”

Nico looked at Jason like he was crazy.

“I didn’t?”

“Oh.. George must have heard the message wrong then. Or maybe he was just messing with me.”

Nico still looked at Jason like he wasn’t making much sense, but didn’t say anything else. They walked in silence. It was weird.

When they got in the bedroom, Nico sat in the bed and Jason in the chair next to his desk. Things didn’t become less weird. They stared at each other. Jason still was unsure about what was happening.

“So, what brings you here?"

"You."

Nico said it like it was a reasonable answer.

"You were so happy when I said I would say at camp and then you just went away, after you and Piper broke up you barely keep in touch, you haven't been at any camp for months, whenever anyone sees you, you look exhausted. What is happening?"

Jason had no words. He cried. Nico hugged him.

…

“I could help you.”

"What?"

They hadn't properly talked, Jason did tell Nico how he felt about the break up with Piper, but obviously that wasn't the only problem.

"Your job with honoring all the gods. I could help you. I have contacts and I can travel easily."

Jason didn't want to be pitied or a burden.

"You don't have to."

"I want to do it. It would be nice to spend more time with you."

Jason also didn't know how to deal with this.

…

Nico started to spend a lot of time with Jason which made Jason worry if he was being treated well. Nico always said it was fine. Jason wasn't so sure.

…

Jason sighed.

"Thank you, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have gone to see Leo if it wasn't for you. I really needed it."

Nico smiled.

"Of course." …

"I still don't understand the appeal of Tennis."

"Maybe you would if you tried to play it."

"Nah. I'm fine with just watching."

…

"I shouldn't have taught you how to play mythomagic."

"Don't be so bitter, Nico. This is just the natural course of things. The student always gets better than the teacher."

…

They were lying in the grass, with cuts and bruises. They had just fought a group of cyclops and were laughing.

Nico looked at Jason. Jason looked at Nico. They never felt so lonely when they were together.

They kissed for the first time in the afternoon.

[cc-melody161]

TW: VENT POST ABOUT MY MOTHER. MENTION OF SH AND SU!C!DE

“You never appreciate me”

Have you ever appreciated me? All you give is unwanted criticism. Not only are you stupid to not know how to spell “Kmart” you’re stupid and self righteous enough to think I owe you something for you raising me? Have you ever gave me any emotional support other than to just “hold it in”? Even if you had shitty parents, you had 30 years to heal, to finally develop a healthy mindset, here you are saying I’m the ungrateful one? You can’t even bring yourself to say that you appreciate me, you never taught me how to show love, you’ve never showed me any affection apart from material love, you abandoned 1st grader me at a street until I cried and my class teacher just so happened to find me. You let me, a first grader, walk to school and walk back from school alone, because you’re too tired in the morning to even bother to come collect me?

All the advices you give are flawed. What the fuck do you mean that if I get assaulted, I should pretend to like it so that my assaulter won’t get mad and hurt me. I rather get beat up and have bruises to show to police as an evidence than have to question myself for pretending to like it (fortunately I was never assaulted.)

Not only are you emotionally immature, you might as well have the intelligence of a 15 year old. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the parent. Everytime I come to you about what you did to affect me all you say is how bad your parents were. Is that my fault? You’re just trying to guilt trip me, huh? You’re so pathetic to the point you crumble at a single hint of failure, you don’t even bother to learn English properly because you’re just that incompetent, you’re just that pitiful. And you’re the one to expect me to take care of you and help you translate everything? You can’t even read shit. Even if it’s in the language you know, you refuse to read any of my school notices, you don’t even know which class I’m in, which grade I’m in, what event I have, when do I go on holidays. Do you even know how to properly parent? You shouldn’t have had me if you didn’t.

Useless trash, all you wanted from a child is someone as needy as a baby yet also as helpful as a robot, you don’t expect any sort of emotion from me or else it’s “emotional pollution”, and now I’ve grown tired of you, you come up to me asking for hugs and kisses? Fuck no. You do not, you do not fuck up my childhood, my life, my mentality, and then just give me hugs I don’t want and kisses I hate, just for you to dismiss me as “dramatic” or “selfish”. You disgust me, just the thought of your face makes me sick.

You suck as a mother. I doubt you’d ever like me as a person if I wasn’t your daughter. In fact, you said it yourself, you think a dog is more obedient than me, huh? You’re going to abandon me here, in a foreign country, alone, after I turn 18, huh? You selfish prick, even if I killed myself you’d only be sad because you wasted money on me. All you care about is the material. You didn’t even care about my mental health until I said I wanted to kill everyone. You don’t care about nothing but yourself. You don’t even know what it’s like, to have your limbs weak, yet still pressured to go to the grocery store just to buy things because you’re too stupid to even know what things are in what aisle.

You don’t know what it’s like, to have a heat stroke on a school day in the assembly because of the heat, almost passing out, puking, and just for you to complain about how much I’ve been missing school?

You always talk about that one day I obeyed to you, did my homework and revisioned. Have you thought about the fact that I don’t do that anymore because that was painful? Did you know how hard it was for a 6 year old to hide her emotions, do anything you wanted? You want me to be your servant, to drop everything, my friends, my passion, my life, for you.

Yet you don’t even care about my life, do you?

You told me to end myself through the balcony 4 times. FOUR. FUCKING. TIMES.

You threatened to cut me, cut yourself, when I started to sh. You think that’ll scare me? Sure. I hope someday you’d get depression and cut yourself too, mother.

You called the police on me, because I was acting crazy, huh? Wow how nice! The mother of a child, not only wasn’t concerned that her child was acting mad, but called the cops on her because she didn’t want to go to school? People were calling me a psychopath at school, mother. Why do you think I hate school? I hate you. Why did you have to call the police on me? You really want me to off myself, don’t you?

What kind of mother are you, Grace?

You wish me to die. So that you have the excuse that I was the one who turned mad and killed myself, you’d get all the praise and reassurance you wanted.

That’s not gonna happen. I will make your life hell, as long I live another day. I won’t let you have one peaceful day.

(Edit: wow, how upsetting… “my parents don’t love me and now my daughter doesn’t love me…” how pitiful. You can’t even find any reasons your parents don’t like you? I see how it is, you lack so much love you just have to make a teen feel bad for you?)

[titaniumrock]

Joan is good at comfort, though it was something they had to learn.

Comfort was something that was pretty foreign to them, growing up in the capitalistic hellhole of Pre-war America, comfort was a luxury whether mental or physical. Their mother couldn't properly provide it as she slaved away to ensure they didn't starve or lose their home, their father was completely absent, and their older sister couldn't take the pressure of it all.

Comfort was rather absent in their school that provided little actual useful education (all due to the war and propaganda). Then Joan only really made acquaintances in school as well. Trying to interact was always difficult for them and they preferred to stay alone, because being around those who didn't care made them feel even more alone than actually being alone.

The military was lacking comfort as well when they joined, people were miserable and suffering, only joining because; they were forced, for their country, to kill without punishment, to be a hero, or to just try and escape in whatever way it would end up being. Being a Star Bird was no different either, it did however provide better rewards for anyone back home, even with the exchange of their humanity.

But even with this absence of comfort in their life, they did eventually receive a proper dose of comfort by Star bird 11. A one star, Star Bird who was unrealistically happy and kind. They were Joan's first actual friend and someone who taught Joan everything they could despite the fact that they were not allowed to. Star bird 11 was the reason why Joan was given the rank of 2 when their ranking was finalized, and they were like a guardian angel for Joan making sure that they never got decommissioned or punished.

Joan and Star Bird 11 never got to see eachother again once the Pre-war world was destroyed. Simply because Star Bird 11 was released much earlier that everyone else and hasn't been seen since.

Star Bird 11 is why Joan is able to comfort well, using the same techniques and kindness that Star Bird 11 used. Though due to their apprehension towards people this comfort is provided really to only those who are close to Joan, or if you're lucky and they take enough pity on you.

[icesteelabyss]

And some of the things that Gen Alpha have to deal with were some of the things that genZ had to deal with when it came close to the drop off of our generation. I was an iPad kid, schools weren't really well funded unless you were able to afford a really good one, and I was so obsessed with makeup because I wanted to look really pretty like the women in commercials for said make-up. I was insecure and didn't have good communication skills because instead of being taught to care about myself as I am, and being taught how to properly communicate, I was just handed an iPad and watched content farm slop any time I could. I hated being away from the iPad and the only time I was fine without one in my face is if I was with my friends talking about said slop. And as someone who basically went through what Gen Alpha is going through (keeping in mind I was born 5 years before Gen Alpha was born), I just pity them. I really don't like when people blame kids for being horrible and stupid and liking dumb things and not being able to be without a screen for 5 seconds, because all of that is learned, and if the parents don't step in and do their job, their children's brains are going to develop in the most unhealthy ways possible.

And this isn't just toddlers whose minds are developing. It's pre-teens and young teens as well. Even my brain is still developing, and I only got out of the horrible trap when I was 15, close to 16. I'm 17 currently. This isn't the fault of kids, its the fault of every adult who failed them and refuses to acknowledge they were part of the problem.

in like 5-8 years when gen alpha starts really making fun of gen z no one is allowed to complain because like 99% of people do nothing but treat those kids like shit

[koseigu]

[ 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 ] : unable to handle their fondness towards receiver, the sender lashes out and they end up in a heated argument. combo with [ 𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 ] : sender is apologising for appearing cold. // @ sukuna; gojo in the new AU cuz he can't process his feelings properly

it's been a few days since they've spoken.

sukuna isn't sure why it's a problem, because it's not like they have always been close (not like gojo and suguru) and he knows that they aren't, you know, like that anyway. it's too soon, and satoru is too...overwhelmed. he doesn't need to handle someone else's feelings on top of his own, let alone the feelings of some new guy he's been partnered with to pick up the pieces after the school's curse user goes rogue. who cares if he's had a crush on the scion from almost the very first moment he saw him? it's not gojo's problem, not his burden to bear.

he should have backed off, is the real issue. sure, the higher ups overwork him and sure he takes it all on the chin because no one else (save sukuna, kind of) can do what he does (literally, because of the six eyes thing). the moments they're alone are the problem, when the mask slips and the smile fades and there's a storm in crystal blue eyes. being forced to raise yuji has taught him that it fucking sucks to go it your own.

i don't need your help, i don't need your pity, i don't need you to look at me like that

how else is he supposed to look at the sun? how else is he supposed to feel in it's warmth?

the fight is the worst they've had, which is a good and a bad thing. no one threw a punch but god his fucking chest hurts like he took purple right to the heart. sukuna misses him, his laugh and his smile and his cocky jokes and the little looks they share, the way he feels like he can relax because someone is finally looking at gojo the person.

but he backs off, because he knows when he's not wanted. and he also has enough self respect not to stick around when he isn't.

he's ready to give up entirely, go back to living off-campus more than on, when he gets a knock on his door in the middle of the night. sleep and grouchiness are heavy on his face and his shoulders. he grunts out something that sounds like go away before the knocking continues and is joined by a familiar voice.

"s'open."

@brazenlystrong, i can't remember the prompt but have yearning

[mistergoddess]

i cannot lie i used to also get the usamerican knee jerk reaction, not in that fucking cringe of a way, but yeah the "how dare you point out i don't know something don't you know how SUPER EVIL america is, i can't help that i was brought up under these UNIQUELY MESSED UP conditions and i can't be blamed for not knowing anything" type shit, and it took someone important being like hey literal refugees and people in warzones and dictatorships who certainly didn't have the most reliable access to education still go out of their way to learn about the world and how things work and don't make excuses so like... it's not really very Good to claim the only way you could ever know or learn things is by having some fabulous proper education and that america just has the CRAAAZIEST WORST EDUCATION IN THE WORLD so therefore you shouldn't be expected to know anything.

and they were right! and once you start being like huh yeah i need to make SOME effort to learn more about the world and not make excuses for not ever bothering to try, you cringe EXTREMELY hard at ur past self for ever doing all that blabbering and american self centered justification.

you don't have to be perfect! it's not just that the us's school system simply doesn't teach you Information, it's that the american culture at large actively teaches you to not care and not want to learn. we are very strongly socially conditioned to be VERY sheltered and self interested and self pitying and exceptionalist and not care about or appreciate the gravity of what goes on everywhere else in the world... and that is very intentional because the usa has a fucking horrible history and a horrible present and the people doing the terrible things with their power don't want you to realize this is all wrong and go hey maybe we need to not do all that :)

and once you've rubbed two brain cells together long enough to be like actually i should learn a thing or two about geography or history or politics or other cultures, or frankly even just how to function well as an adult in your OWN society and understand stuff about like money and your rights and maintaining your life! and pushed past the deeply internalized alarm bells of "waaah that makes me uncomfy and i've been taught to avoid everything that makes me uncomfy and that's why i love being blissfully ignorant and consuming and getting instant gratification," that conditioning is a genuine hurdle you have to overcome in your quest to actually figure out what the fuck is going on in the world, like your brain is going to want to stop. which is why it's so important to make yourself overcome that and i PROMISE our monkey brains LOVE curiosity and learning shit and even if you are not very inclined to be interested in politics or ~super depressing history >_<~ and have a hard time understanding particularly dense things that you've never been exposed to, you will nevertheless find that once you start exposing yourself to more of your natural born Curiosity and the Desire To Learn you will find shit FASCINATING that you never thought you could.

nobody is telling you you have to force yourself to sit down and read textbooks and essays front to back until you perfectly know everything there is to know about these topics. that isn't necessary to just. like. TRY. actually pay attention when you see current events come up, think about it and if something seems vague or confusing in your understanding of it, look it up. pay attention to who says what about it and why they might say that. pay attention to the cultures and demographics around you and see if you can learn a thing or two about that, try to learn how to pronounce things properly and don't be annoying about it if you mess up. look up the history of your town, your region, your state, look up the phrases you use and see where they come from, if you see a name or term you don't know look it up. watch silly youtube videos about this stuff (and take it with a grain of salt because it's the internet, look it up and see what some other sources say). do what i did and play online map quizzes until your geography is passable (it's extremely quick and easy and fun and even if you don't memorize every single country flawlessly you will still improve your general geographical understanding by CRAZY amounts and stop embarrassing the fuck out of yourself every time you've never even heard of a rather large country)

and if nothing else be self aware and upfront about the gaps in your knowledge and don't go into that weird icky defensive mode sooo many usamericans do when we're confronted with the fact that yeah our schooling is famously not good and yeah our culture actively brainwashes us to only think about burger and big soda and blorbos but like you're an adult with some amount of agency living in incredibly privileged conditions with access to everything you could want to know about the world SO easily and you don't even have to worry about bombs falling on your head distracting you from doing it so maybe you have a duty as a creature with conscious thought living in a very big and complex world to use your gift of conscious thought a little bit and learn about that big big world

[lachiennearoo]

AIGHT AIGHT HERE IT IS (I'll provide an HD pic later, this is all I have for now)

My Tav was raised among her kind (Tieflings). Most of her family was paladins, and she always grew up wanting to be one as well. Her biological parents died when she was very young, so it was the village as a whole that raised her. The kindness of those around her made her want to be just like them. She didn't have any real school teachings growing up, but she did still learn how to read and write and do magic, at the very least, since it was important for her to do so at least if she wanted to be a Paladin when she grew older. I assume something happened to the village she was in that solidified her need for justice and to protect the weak (maybe it was attacked or something like that and she was one of the few survivors). After that happened, she mostly just made money like she does in the game; scavenging corpses and selling whatever she could find for some gold. She did enjoy keeping a few things, usually stuff that had an emotional importance to the person who died like a love letter, a painting or a locket. She used to have a bag filled with those things, which she'd look at once in a while to remind herself of the diversity of the world and how fragile yet beautiful life is. She usually would try to remember the people's names who died, wanting them to be remembered by at least her, if no one else. One of her favorite childhood memories would probably be play-fighting with the other kids and adults in her village.

Once she turned 18, she was officially sworn into the Paladin class. She always wanted to be one, and so of course, the process was easy.

She'd had some crushes here and there, but she'd never properly dated anyone, let alone have sex. She was too busy with other things most of the time, and didn't think she would have time for a relationship, no matter how much she might've wanted one (and later on, she just didn't think it'd be safe to have a relationship). When she was taken by the Mind Flayers she was probably scavenging for loot. Her greatest skill is probably her persuasion. She's not cunning or anything, but she's good at knowing what people want and make them feel at ease around her (a leftover of her teachings from the village). Yeah, it's also true in-game lmao, I've avoided a lot of fights and conflict just by saying the right thing. Her biggest weakness is probably her want to always sacrifice herself to save others. She'd rather take all the blows if it means it'll spare others from doing so. And… Yeah lmao I keep using Forced Duel for Tav during fights cause I'd rather she get hit than others since she's more resilient. Tav doesn't really believe in anything other than what she was taught as a Paladin, but she doesn't mind that other people believe other things either. As long as the person is a good one and believes in good things, she won't really care what it is (for example, she doesn't like the whole Shar vs Seluna thing much because it breeds conflict, although she mostly just feels pity for Shadowheart, rather than anger, and of course she knows not to pry at it too much unless Shadowheart wants to) Tav likes the wilderness. She finds it all very beautiful, and of course, the best way to get free loot (with plants and mushrooms and the likes).

Tav doesn't really like the city. Too many people. Too much stress. Constantly feeling like something is gonna happen and she won't be able to stop it.

Tav hates the tadpole. She knows it can bring some benefits like mind reading and the likes, but overall she'd rather have it be gone. It feels wrong to have it in her. Her mind feels strangely empty and hollow whenever it squirms around. There's nothing good that comes out of a parasite in your eye, y'know, no matter how tempting it may be. Tav doesn't enjoy killing, but she does it if it's necessary and there's no other option. Very often, after the fact, she'll pray for them, or at the very least apologize for killing them. Every death on her conscience is like a weight, and sometimes she wonders if it'll come back to haunt her, like karma. Tav is pretty good at lying, but she'd rather not do it unless it's the only choice left between that and a fight. When talking to people, she'd prefer being honest about her feelings. Her greatest fear is probably to lose someone she loves, especially during battle (regardless of if they're friend, family, loved one…) I guess Tav just wants peace. She wishes people weren't so quick to fighting, and would actually listen and be willing to understand each other Her biggest regret is not having been strong enough to protect her village when it was attacked (Can't say anything about romance yet cause I haven't gone there yet), but uh Tav's best friends are definitely Shadowheart and Gale. She would probably relate to Fallen Angel from Three Days Grace, and It's On Again from Alicia Keys

She usually seems pushy, preachy and has a stick up her ass, because she wants everyone to calm tf down and be nice. Lots of people would probably say she "ruins all the fun". She doesn't really care what others think of her though. She sticks to her creed and her duties no matter what

Tav doesn't have anything with her right now, since she lost everything after the Mind Flayers, but she would like to have something. Tav HAAATES getting ordered around, ESPECIALLY if it's by strangers or people she hates. However, if the person is nice enough and/or she knows them, she might be willing to listen a lil bit more. Especially if it's about something important. Overall tho, she'd prefer to do her own thing and make her own decisions. She works well under pressure, especially during fights. It makes her more powerful… Although it might also make her decision making a bit more brash (and that's usually when other people's opinions come in handy) If I had to tell Tav anything, it'd probably be "Calm down. Take a deep breath. Take care of yourself and your own well being. You don't have to carry the whole world on your shoulder. Let your friends help you too, okay? If you collapse, and you're alone, there won't be anything there to help you get back up." (Can't comment on the last one cause I haven't finished the game yet)

30 Questions for your Tav

These questions can be used as an Ask Game or just answering them all for fun character development!

(Dark Urge edition here)

What was your Tav’s place of birth and raising like?

What relationship did your Tav have with their family/guardian(s) growing up? Has that changed with age?

Did your Tav receive any formal or informal education? If yes, how well did they learn? If no, why not?

What hobbies does your Tav have? How did they acquire these interests?

Did your Tav have any formal or informal employment? If yes, what was their job? If no, how did they make ends meet? How did they feel about it?

What is your Tav’s favourite childhood memory?

What circumstances led to your Tav becoming their Class/Subclass?

Did your Tav have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single?

What was your Tav doing when they were taken by the mind flayers?

What would your Tav consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate?

What would your Tav consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

What opinion does your Tav have about the Gods?

How does your Tav feel about the wilderness?

How does your Tav feel about the city?

What motivates your Tav to either embrace or resist the tadpole?

How does your Tav feel about killing?

How good of a liar is your Tav? How do they feel about lying?

What is your Tav’s greatest fear?

What is your Tav’s greatest desire?

What is your Tav’s greatest regret?

How does your Tav feel about love?

Has your Tav become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not?

What are 2-3 songs that your Tav would relate to?

What first impression does your Tav give off to strangers?

How does your Tav feel about what others think of them?

Does your Tav have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?

How does your Tav feel about giving and receiving orders?

How well does your Tav function under pressure?

What advice would you give to your Tav?

What are your Tav’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

[a-soft-fluffy-girl]

Ya know that last post about people commenting about trans girl hair struck a rather violently unpleasant chord with me.

I was never given the chance to let my hair be good because I was never properly taught how to care for it. I grew it out as a way to rebel against my mother, as I had a stick up my ass about her treatment of me and my dad had always mentioned that boys with long hair could still be a thing. And for the longest time, it was working. I thought I was doing okay with it, the curls were nice, and even through the first few years after high school, things were going well.

But all that time, my mother, parts of her family, parts of even my dad's family were acting like I was wrong. My mother, a certified hairdresser, would constantly threaten to just shave it all off. I never learned that you shouldn't brush curly hair, only comb it while it's damp, until I saw a damn tumblr post about it yelling at people for doing it. I never learned why you shouldn't use two-in-one shampoo and conditioner until years later, when an off-hand comment about replenishing the oils in your hair was made in my presence, made in complaint about the combo's very existence. I was never taught how to even properly dry my hair by my mother, who wouldn't even let me use the hair dryer, possibly out of spite. Hell. The first clue I got that I should've been gentle in cleaning it (and certainly not wringing it through a towel like I had been for years) was another tumblr post. And not a positive one. It was literally an attack on men drying their hair roughly and laughing at them for their eventual baldness.

And now I, a transfemme in her 30s, have balding so fucking bad with hair I cannot be proud of anymore, because nobody taught me how to care for what I had.

I look hideous to myself without a hat. The pitiful ponytail I can still pull up is thin enough that I need to tie it extra tight so it doesn't slip loose randomly. I loved my hair. But no one taught me how to keep it.

I never went looking for info on how to care for my hair because I didn't even know I had to. All I knew was that the people in my life that could've taught this to me hated it enough to let it die a slow death. And every last bit of information I got wasn't given freely. It was all in service of shaming others.

I lost the one part of my body I never had shame in, even before the egg cracked, because people hated me having it and never bothered to show support for my choices.

All because I was male presenting with long hair I wanted to be proud of.

Shame should not have been my teacher, much less far too late to matter.

Support your trans peers. Please. They don't deserve to look in the mirror in raw disgust over what they lost.

[tropicalstrand017]

"UNTITLED"

BY: GIA

A whisper that takes me to the place that I never imagine I will be there. It takes just a word for me to open the door that seem to be the solution of all my grieve, all my pain, insecurities and hate.

Slowly I close my eyes, darkness is all I see, pain is all I feel, yet I am able to lift the corner of my lips and form a smile.

So strange of me , I feel a pain but I feel contentment. I smiled, yet, a tears is falling from my eyes down to my face. I feel cold yet a warm feeling is dominating in my body.

Seconds pass, the pain is is all I feel, the smile is no longer in my lips, the tears are all dried, pain is the only one left in me, just like the old times, everyone leave, everything is all mess, but pain is always there, when everyone leave. Pain never leave me, pain is all I have, pain is my dearest friend.

I feel hope in pain for I know , this pain will end my suffering , this pain will end my grieve, this pain will end everything, or will this pain can really end everything? Can this pain really the only choice left to me?

As doubt sunddenly arise in my self, everything that I taught suddenly became hazy. I suddenly feel the cold rush in my whole body. Suddey I can no longer feel my body as if I am in another world and my consciousnesses is all I have.

The pain that I see as my friend became unknown to me, it bacame stranger , this pain is not what I know, the pain I know is..is.. What is it again? I can no longer remeber.

I feel like i am slowly drown from the deep ocean. I can no longer breath properly as if someone is stealing my breath.

I feel like I want to struggle just to be able to bring back my breath but I suddenly remember , this is what I want from the beggining. This is the way to end everything. I should not waver for this I want.

Then suddenly I remember everything.

After I get home from school, as usual the there are no one in the house again, silent welcome and embraced me as I enter in the house. Loneliness , that what I have besides pain.

I enter my room and put my things in my bed, then I let my body fell in the bed. I closed my eyes and remember the things happen .

I saw Kate chatting and laughing to her friend. I just accidentally passing by to the corner where she and her friend chatting.

Whats the big deal of her chatting to a friend? Yeah what is a big deal? The deal is everyone leave me as always , she who I trusted that will never leave by my side , she who promise that will accept of who I am , she who I never think will betray me suddenly one day leave me in the dark and betray me, and now seeing her with a new friend and at the same time treat me as a stranger. When does this start? Why this happen to us? It all happen beacuse of her little trust of me , she believe more in the rumour than me.

she never treat me as what I treat her. I guess this is reality

Seddenly a tear flow to my cheeks , as I remember those things. Just when I am about to stand up to take a bath, a loud slam of a door and shouting voices from the living room stopping me to stand up.

Here we go again. Just a normal fight of my parents, shouting thier regrets to each other , blaming each other losses , Im tired of this . I quickly stand up and didnt care on what is happening there , I tried to intervene there fight in the past but what did I get? Insults. Saying that Im a worthless daughter that has nothing can do. Yeah how pitiful , a child just trying to stop her dear parents from fighting is a worthless child.

Before I get in the bathroom I take some look in the mirror. What I saw is teenage young girl who is not pretty, who has many flaws that can be seen on , her eyes no longer held a light and hope. It was my reflection who is tired of everyting.

' Do you want to be free from this cruel life that God's gave you?

A voice from my reflection in the mirror spoke. I didn't answer her. I just stared at her , the face I see before change now , she looks like me but with a pretty face that I dreamed. She look at me with her sweet smile that can make everyone smile. I ignore it and just walk away and enter the bathroom.

' You are worthless so why just give up? '

A voice that is same to the person in the mirror spoke. I can feel her in the back of my ear but I didn't bother to turn around to look.

' why just give give up everthing and end it easily? ' another voice from the girl who is standing beside the bath tub.

She look like my younger self. Shes wearing like my old uniform in elementary.

She's smiling bright that enough to ligthen up the darkness but I still didnt care. I started to walk toward to the bath tub and open the faucet, after the bath tub is full , I sit down in the bath tub hug my knees with both my arms. I close my eyes started to doze but someone interrupt . It was a whisper in tempting voice.

' Just give up Dear and let us help you to end everthing '

The innocent tempting voice says.

I slowly open my eyes, I see the girl in the mirror face close to mine, our body is close, she gently touch my face silently swiping the tears.

I just look at her blankly and said nothing. Her fingers slowly go down, from my jaw to neck , to my shoulder down to my arms and at last she stops in my hands.

Suddenly I feel her handing a cold sharp object out of nowhere. I look at my hands, sure it was a little knife.

I did not move just staring at the knife.

Feeling nothing. Until my arms suddenly move and put the little knife in my left wrist.

' lets end it together ' she said in a sweet tone.

Its the last words I hear before I cut my wrist with the knife she gave me. Not just a one cut but more, I cut it deeper . The pain, I like it, only through pain I will feel something, Cut! Cut! Dig the knife deeper in my skin. I feel a satisfaction through this pain. I can't control myself anymore, I can't put down the knife, blood keep rushing down from my wrist to the bathtub until the water in it turning red.

This is all I want..

This is the feeling...

' Yeah, this is all you want! This will end everything ' a voice from before speak again but I can no longer see her. I can no longer pay attention to her. my mind starting to lose. My body starting to lose it strength, and I weakly lay in the bath tub full of blood.

I feel sleepy, I feel like drowning , I started to catch up my breath. Its suffocating. Im sleepy.

Minutes pass doubt started to rise in my hazy thought. And the feeling of being drown retrogate. Now I know why it so hard, the owner of the voices before is struggling on me just to kept me unbreath

This is really my end?..

But when just everything became dark, another voice speak and it is different from before.

' Is this what you truly desire? To die without fighting? Is giving up really the only choice?

You know in your heart that its not. Pain is no longer your friend when you started to run away from it. Pain will always there. You say that you only have pain while in reality you never accepted pain.

You want other to accept you but you never accept yourself, you want other to listen to you

but did you try to listen to other first?

You want other to understand you, but is it really important for others to understand you.

If you are really tired then lets just rest for a bit. okay? Then will be okay again.

Can we just don't mind other people?

Can we live not because other will want our existence or will our life be worth it to other and be matter to other. Just live because we want to. Not by others demand but by ourselves."

The crying voice said, trying to convince me. Trying to keep me alive.

I want to cry but I dont know if I can . I cant see the owner of the voice in the darkness but what I see is tiny bit of light.

Yes. Yes . Yes!!!!!! I want to live, I dont want to give up , If nobody help me, then I myself will fight for myself. Stand with my own feet. If nobody understand me, Then its fine as long As I understand myself.

Its Fine, even others wil leave, I have myself. I don't want to lose it, this is all what left me.

I started to lose my conscious, I cant keep awake...But I have to...

I don't know anymore ...

"GEM!!!! "

A loud familiar voice calling my name, the worried voice of my mother, its been so long I hear her call me with that tone.

That is the last word I hear..

And total darknes cover me....

[autumnslance]

It comes back again to some questions in the notes about "what IS the normal age of entry?" Given so many of the other elezen characters we see at the Studium are (usually shorter) adult sized. Yes, 16 is the "age of majority" in Sharlayan, but what does that mean for education, when in the real world we often start advanced education at or after our own age of majority (18 in the US)?

Also Thancred's childhood skills were survival necessities; not training. What sort of book learning did he have, if any? Did he get any formal training when briefly in the Rogue's Guild? He was a kid bouncing from task to task to have food in his belly and a place to sleep, maybe (and such conditions would also hamper his development, his ability to learn and remember some things, his growth, in various ways!). Consider how Limsans--especially lower class, especially the rogues--talk and sound compared to Sharlayans. There's a disparity between what's picked up, and what's taught, and where does he fall in that line?

In the ShB patches in Azys Lla, Alisaie and G'raha reminisce about school days. Alisaie makes it sound like she got a Master's comparatively, while G'raha's independent studies and work earned him the equivalent of a Doctorate, and Alisaie makes the same shuddery reaction a lot of other Master degree holders I know (myself included) at the thought of a doctoral thesis.

Cuz the Archons are pretty much wearing their proof of advanced degree on their necks and faces. Not everyone in Sharlayan has those marks--in fact, we actually see very few outside those we already know about!

Another thing: yes, the Leveilleur twins are brilliant. They also come from a major noble family with a lot of resources and high expectations. It's like everyone cooing over Princess Charlotte of England knowing multiple languages and having a high reading level as a toddler; she's a princess, with her inherited job already in line and the expectations and means to attain those levels early on. The Leveilleurs are in a similar position in their fictional world.

Thancred was taken in by Louisoix--but as an adolescent. Those formative years the twins spent properly learning in safe environments was not his experience. His background is piecemeal, slipshod, rough, by chance, by random opportunity, and learning the hard way as he goes, with few people to show him the proper way.

Regardless of how skilled he already was, and any natural aptitudes ("talent" is a lie, but some people are built better for some things than others, but practice counts the most), he had a lot of catch up to do, a lot to unlearn and relearn. Many of his self-worth issues likely stem from this; from being looked down on, pitied, called unworthy, hearing people wonder why Louisoix brought this kid home. Having to prove himself at every turn. To go above and beyond. To hide/change his accent, to learn what everyone else grew up already knowing, what they already learned, plus more, and do it better--

Until he earned the visible proof of why Louisoix had chosen him, the proof that he did, was worth it. And then he had to keep proving it, pay back that faith and trust.

When do people usually enter Studium? When are they usually given to their masters? Y'shtola is also called a prodigy, given to her Master at age 7 but it's indicated in EW patches that she and Thancred are of an age (regardless of what she usually says). We know she started training and education earlier to earn her marks at roughly the same time. But Thancred caught up to her.

There're still plenty of questions about the Scions' youths in Sharlayan. But from what we know, we know our particular Sharlayans are extraordinary even among their peers in various ways.

it is an often-repeated fact that alphinaud and alisaie are the youngest entrants to the studium ever at age 12, and like it's crazy that these infants got into harvard, but the narrative does not seem to remember/notice/care that thancred was an archon by 17 (he has the archon marks in the 1.0 ul'dah start flashbacks, where minfilia's 12 and he's 17). also he got picked up by louisoix as "an adolescent" so he had spent at most 7 years in sharlayan by the time he got his PhD in "espionage and survival". SHAKES HIM. WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU LITTLE MAN. WHAT DID YOU GET UP TO IN SHARLAYAN SPY SCHOOL. DID THEY MAKE YOU A TOOL, BOY. DID THEY HONE YOU INTO THEIR SHARP OBJECT