#it's so hard because socializing is so important to me

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

We don’t talk enough about how important it is that Runs in the Family is the only song (to my knowledge) that is just one person. There’s no ensemble, it’s just one voice. It’s just Darrel. Because he is going through a struggle that no other character can relate to. His problems are so uniquely his that there’s no one he thinks he doesn’t have anyone to lean on.

How this song sounds like it’s his list of complaints, but in actuality, it’s his plea for someone to help him. It’s not a super slow song or a song with obviously sad lyrics, so we can tend to think it’s him just venting. But when we look closer, especially to lyrics like “I keep treading water, but I sink just like a stone”. That’s a direct example of him describing how he feels. He’s drowning. He’s drowning in bills, in grief, and in fear. He’s terrified because he thinks that one day, the state will wake up and realize he’s not fit to be raising his brothers. One day, the social worker, who’s probably double his age if not more, who he convinced that he was capable of taking care of his two teenage brothers, will show back up at his door and take them away. He’s terrified. He says that himself in the line “I don’t know what them boys would ever do without me, and what would I do in my own?” He works extra hard because he needs there to be money.

He needs to keep his brothers safe and warm and fed. He needs to be the one providing that because that’s the only way he truly knows they’re being taken care of. And if he needs to drown to make sure they’re ok, he’s willing to make that sacrifice.

[faithsotherhouseofchaos]

Study session||Charles Leclerc xGender neutral!adhd!reader

Summary — after hours of trying to study and failing Charles swoops in and helps you get through it.

Word count—713

A/n I used both fem!reader male!reader and gn!reader tags

You sat at your desk, staring blankly at the pages of your textbook. Your notes were scattered in disorganized piles, highlighters of every color rolling around your workspace, but none of it was helping. you flipped the same page for the third time, but the words swam before your eyes, refusing to sink in. Your leg bounces uncontrollably under the desk, and your fingers tapped against the edge of the chair as your mind wandered.

What was I even trying to study again?

you reached for your phone out of habit, scrolling through social media for a brief escape. The timer she’d set to keep you on track went off, startling you, and you groaned in frustration. Fifteen minutes gone, and you’ve done absolutely nothing.

Charles walked in just as you buried your face in your hands, muttering under your breath. He stopped in his tracks, taking in the scene—the mess of papers, your slumped posture, and the tension radiating off you. He set his water bottle down on the counter and approached you cautiously, his footsteps soft against the floor.

“Amour,” he said gently, his voice full of concern. “What’s going on?”

you didn't lift your head. “I can’t do this, Charles. I’ve been sitting here for hours, and I’ve made zero progress. My brain just doesn’t work like this.”

He crouched beside your chair, tilting his head to meet your eyes. “What do you mean?”

Y/N sighed, dropping your hands to your lap. “I can’t stay focused. I read the same thing over and over, and it still doesn’t stick. Then I get frustrated, and I just give up. It’s like my brain wants to do anything but study. And the exam is so close… I’m panicking.”

Charles frowned, his heart aching for you. He hated seeing you so stressed, especially when he knew how hard you were trying. “Okay,” he said after a moment, his tone calm and steady. “Let’s take a breath. First, you’re not stupid, and you’re not hopeless. You just need a different way to study. I think I can help.”

you looked at him skeptically. “You? You want to help me study?”

“Yes,” he said with a confident smile. “I’m good under pressure, remember? And I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

Before you could protest, Charles stood up and started tidying your desk, stacking your notes into neat piles and pushing the random highlighters aside. Then, he grabbed a set of flashcards from your stack of materials and pulled your chair closer to the desk so you faced him.

“Alright, that’s the plan,” he said, sitting down across from you. “We’re going to break this down into small chunks. You answer five questions, and then we take a two-minute break. During the break, you can ask me anything you want—about racing, my worst crashes, my favorite tracks. Whatever keeps you motivated. Deal?”

Y/N hesitated, your fingers twisting together nervously. “I don’t know, Charles. What if I still can’t focus?”

He reached out, taking your hand in his and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Then we’ll find another way. But we’ll do it together. You’re not alone in this, Y/N.”

Your chest tightened at his words, but this time it wasn’t from anxiety. you nodded slowly. “Okay. Let’s try it.”

They started with the flashcards, and true to his word, Charles kept the energy light and encouraging. When you struggled to answer a question, he didn’t let you spiral into frustration. Instead, he’d rephrase it, guiding you to the answer without making you feel overwhelmed.

“See? You knew that one,” he said with a proud smile when you got the third question right.

“Only because you practically spoon-fed me the answer,” youshot back with a teasing smile.

“Details,” he said with a playful shrug. “The important thing is that you’re learning.”

When they reached the end of the first set, he held up his hands. “Break time! Alright, your turn. Ask me anything.”

Y/N leaned back in your chair, grinning for the first time that day. “Okay, fine. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during a race?”

Charles groaned dramatically, covering his face with his hands. “Ah, that’s not fair! You know my ego will never recover.”

[omg-levian]

I just want to write something about the "Horn and Halla at the Hilt" quest because the more I think about it, the more I need to find closure about this entire situation.

I know that the quest, as the whole Taash quest line, has already been criticised by many players, and I can only add my voice to those people who felt... frustrated, to say the least, by the in-game "trans representation".

(please don't bother yourself if you are pretty satisfied with the way such themes were presented in DAtV; this post is just not for you.)

but this is not what I wanted to talk about. my main complaint is the plot itself, which made the scene looks like a typical school bullying scenario. is there any reason why the quest was directed that way and not any other?

firstly, why is Bellara even there? she is not a closest friend of Taash, as far as I can tell, and not a big fan of Lords, so why she is the one who was invited along with Rook? why not Harding for example? not Davrin?

this is literally the first and the last time when we actually see Bellara and Taash "befriending", and for me it seems that logical explanation lies just OUTSIDE the scene, because for the plot Bellara was the only fitting person. can we imagine Neve following that stupidiest "oh I messed up so much by eating that food!" scenario? Lucanis? Davrin? Emmrich? no, because literally everyone else has enough teeth or spine to opposite the group. but Bellara hasn't.

why did I mention some school bullying case? because it's actually what's happening here.

we have a typical bee queen (Isabela), who demonstrated her domination over the group by playing out the whole pulling a Bharv scene, where there was absolutely no need of it. she uses (also very typically) her low-emotional-intelligence-but-ah-sooo-treasured friend (Taash) as a pretext to show a necomer bee queen (Rook) that she is in charge here. she is not feeling guilty for misgendering, she is not making "excuses", she is simply showing the rules of her little game.

(it's important to understand that it has nothing to do with genders at all, only with social roles and behavior patterns.)

and, what saddens me most, as a player you have no choice except accepting that rules by throwing Bellara under the bus.

no needs to say that this is not OK when a person has to make such a ridiculous apology for eating some shared meal, and it's definitely not OK when a person has to endure phisical pain discomfort just as a proof that they are "sorry" and by doing this "worthy" to be in group.

of course, one may say that nobody made Bellara do push-ups, but alas, do we actually believe she would do that if not the fear of doing something wrong and becoming an outcast?

bah. I hate that quest.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Hot take: Cooper Howard was an avid drug user before the bombs. Boyfriend was a big Hollywood star; all that pressure and you’re telling me that he’d be clean? My guy was prolly seeing more snow than Alaska.

Another Anon with 100% correct opinions who deserves a kiss straight on the mouth. Mwah.

But also...do you guys have backdoor access to my drafts? Yet again, someone comes into the ask box discussing a topic I was already thinking heavily on for a long-form piece; definitely touching on a lot of this in the next installments of Duplicity. Mister Howard doesn't deal with stress in the healthiest of ways. I also have a follow-up to this question in the inbox and I'm so glad you sent separate asks, actually, because I have a ton to say about this topic.

Substance use was absolutely a cornerstone of Cooper Howard's life long before the bombs dropped.

His vices of choice are primarily alcohol and cocaine (and cigarettes, obviously, but that's a societal addiction in the world he comes from), the former especially. Cooper is the definition of a high-functioning alcoholic. While he did dabble a bit more in party drugs when he and Barb were younger, when he was first starting to become famous and make good money, he more or less gave them up when Janey came along.

The coke use started as a social thing, a curiosity and a fun enhancer that he, and even Barb, occasionally, would dabble in. While he'd never pressure her to use (well, not that much, at least...), the few times she did are pretty fond memories to him, even after they split. She's always been a pretty straight-laced, serious, and high-achieving person, and he loved seeing her open up any time she decided to let her hair down. Plus, the sex after they got home would always be extra wild.

Addiction runs in the family on Cooper's side, so he grew up around people who drank a lot, and began drinking rather young himself as a result. He's been a fan of the sauce for a long time, far before his marriage or even his time in the army. Once they'd made it to Los Angeles, social drinking became a pretty big part of the Howard's lives, both using alcohol and sharing drinks with important contacts as a way to network their way into better opportunities. Barb isn't nearly as much of a drinker at home, save for an occasional glass of wine with dinner or a celebratory cocktail to top off a big accomplishment.

Coop's relationship with alcohol changed after he returned from his deployment; for the first time in his life, he began to more frequently use booze to chase away feelings he didn't want to feel, thoughts he didn't want to have. However, he kept a pretty solid handle on his habit for a long time, at least in terms of keeping it a secret. Janey's birth made it easy to keep his consumption to a minimum for several years. However, as his career began to decline as he aged (and as Vault-Tec became a more and more prominent presence in his life), he turned back to the bottle. When his stress began to peak, he started using cocaine more and more to "take the edge off".

He gets quite defensive (even aggressive, depending on who you are and how hard you push) if you start asking him too many questions about his substance use. Doesn't appreciate the implication that he has a problem he can't control. Cooper is already painfully aware of the number of things in his life that he has no control over and refuses to add another to the list. His manager, a pretty good friend with good intentions, very casually mentioned him possibly checking into rehab exactly once and he absolutely blew his lid. The idea of the public knowing about his struggles, judging him, laughing at him is more than he can bear, and that fear only intensifies after he spends over a year being mocked for his divorce and career backslide.

Besides, if he went to rehab, Barb would know, and that idea humiliates him. As far as he knows, he's hidden his problem from her for a long time.

Barb sees the signs much more clearly than he thinks, though. He comes home from parties she didn't attend incredibly late, teeth-grittingly on-edge and horny, but can't get it up properly due to the blow. Has the lingering smell of whiskey on his breath when she kisses him in the morning and conveniently always has a coffee waiting for her so she doesn't ask for a sip of his. Towards the end of their marriage, she finds a couple of flasks in places so obscure that they can only be hidden stashes, implying he's drinking so often that he feels the need to have near-constant access to alcohol.

Cooper's been a poor sleeper since his time in the service. He came back changed in more ways than one, but that was the most noticeable. However, he acts different when he's awake from insomnia versus when he's awake because he's fucked up. A regular night of bad sleep includes him quietly curled up in a chair, studying a script or watching the television turned down low as he tries his best to will himself into some rest.

When he's high, though, he has too much energy to sit still, so sometimes she'll wake up to him finishing up some household task that absolutely could have waited, or even doing things they pay people to do. She finds it hard to believe that he, for example, did four loads of laundry overnight or gave his car a meticulous tune-up because he was just that bored, despite his insistence. Once, she found him out in the back yard in the middle of the night, shooting live ammunition at a target and murmuring to himself. Though she'd stayed up and lingered at the window for hours watching over him, for the first time ever in their marriage, she'd been afraid of him, too unsure of how he'd react to approach.

She hadn't known it at the time, of course, but they'd be divorced within two years of that night.

His addiction issues absolutely came up in court, though they weren't the focus of any of the discussions. Barb withholds some information. While she fails to truly grasp all of the reasons her marriage ended, and therefore goes into the divorce angry and wanting to get back at him for his perceived rejections, she doesn't want to completely drag his name through the mud. But she still mentions a few aspects of it, namely those she feels could impact Janey. Cooper takes this very personally, especially when their custody split is decided and he's dissatisfied with the outcome.

After the split, when he no longer sees his family every day and spends significantly more time alone, his use increases, as does his tolerance. All the while, his ability to hide his dependence slowly wears away. Unfortunately, he has no idea what's in store for him in the future.

If he did, though, it'd probably only drive him to use more.

[meguwumibear]

bro being an adult sucks why do i only have three friends

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

It’s just that Fingon’s like that stereotypical son who calls his mum and walks old ladies across the street, mows the lawn for his neighbours, brings home nice, pretty girls who want to be kindergarten teachers or something and is really passionate about some niche compassionate topic like children in poverty’s access to multiple sclerosis treatment and who everyone says is ‘such a nice boy’ but then he goes and dates the eldest kid of Mr. Stay Away From My Boys, Son, a flaming ginger who most people haven’t heard speak. And this is hilarious.

[pansyfemme]

just a heads up that enmeshment with your therapist is a sign that you need a different therapist. you go to these people to offload and heal, but if you're emotionally enmeshed and that's keeping you from bringing topics forward, that is no longer a healthy relationship nor a therapist that should be treating you.

just so you're aware. your therapist should not be an uncle figure you're afraid to talk about embarrassing stuff with, he's an impartial audience to help you heal. that emotional connection is now HINDERING you from healing.

honestly! me making one personal post! does not tell you the full story! while i defintly have an emotional connection with him- i have had other therapists in my life in and out the entire time. i seek help from other sources frequently! i said it was like talking to an uncle simply because of the fact he’s known me since i was a child, which makes talking about adult topics at times a little embarrasing because he knew me when i was 11!! he is not like an uncle to me in an other respect, i have a seperation. and i have openly discussed this with him and why im uncomfortable at times!! but we talk it out!! because its my therapist and me making one post doesnt mean you know everything!! geez!! also ive been embarrassed to talk about sex with every other therapist ive had!! not your call to make!!

[sen-ya]

do you have X/Twitter or something else where you post your comics and doodles?

I do not! I’m accidentally averse to social media these days. I used to use instagram but fell off of it at least 6 months ago 🙈 I know there’s Good Shit on twitter but I’ve never used it and I am………..lazy I am sorry

[fulloflovebees]

I know not every friendship needs to get that deep but ive known these people for awhile and sometimes i do yearn for something more

[immortalsins]

i need to do something for my project to show my supervisor tomorrow and it has to look like two weeks worth of work from a capable and well-adjusted person who has potential to get a good grade in this tough degree that requires commitment and decent time management. skipped my lectures and also a pub quiz to do that but guess what i haven't even started

[lycheecreature]

Just generally been spiraling about my art tbh. I said I'm doing what I want idk if it's got mass appeal but I feel like people (gen) just don't like my content that much and I'm like "hmm. maybe they've got a point. maybe this all sucks shit." even tho I don't really want to change anything (aside from like improving technical skills yknow)

[ronkeyroo]

I’ve been so badly traumatized by people online constantly demanding my attention and snuffing me out in the worst possible ways in the past that to this day I dont know how to properly emotionally navigate this kind of behavior when i am faced with it again, even when its mild.

I’ve went through experiencing unrelenting and overbearing messaging to weird guilt trips and even (I hope to dear god my assumptions to be wrong here) people vagueing at me in such an oddly specific, hurtful manner when i dont appear to be available for their needs and it just...Fuck, it eats away at me. It doesnt happen too often nowdays but, I recognize those behaviors returning and it bothers me alot...

Its easy when its strangers unlike my fucked up now ex friends, I can just put the boundary without all of the previous mess...But I cant shake how incredibly mad it still makes me TT This inappropriate reaction to want to bite and lash out and burn that bridge immediatly to spare myself a FRACTION of the trouble, and for fucks sake i know its still the remnants of the damage inflicted upon me echoing out as self defense but its so uncalled for and im tired of feeling like a mad dog when this trigger is being activated. I really want to unlearn this behavior...

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

Depression is literally so embarrassing because it forces you to have confrontations like "so you know that thing that's normally no problem at all for me? Well it's genuinely upsetting me" and then have to have a whole Discussion where you have to be like "no I know it usually doesn't bother me and is very normal but I'm ✨️fragile✨️ right now because of the horrors and situations" and feel uncomfy and vulnerable and stupid about it

[jackass-jones]

Idk man I just need to hold hands with Kai Satou and I’ll be good

[alltoowille]

writing update :)

-i know i said painter au chapter 9 was nearly finished but then i … decided to essentially rewrite it lol (i’m much happier with it now it’ll be worth the extra wait) it’s still not finished but i’m back in the groove and making good progress now

-i wrote a oneshot that people seem to really be enjoying! you know i love a little wilmon confronting trauma moment

-lake house .. so sorry to my lake house stans but editing it is tedious and i really don’t want to update until i’ve edited the past chapters, plus i think chapter 10 may need some rewrites so i’m not sure when she’ll be out but i promise it’s not abandoned! bear with me 😫

-lastly: i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up but twitter got ahold of my maddierosh fic and really loved it so there’s been some … ideas for a follow up bouncing around in my little brain … it’s not my priority but sometimes i like to churn out a oneshot if i’m struggling with my longer pieces so who knows

thank you for your patience; and if you want faster updates i swear almost every comment i receive genuinely spurs me to open my google docs app and keep going in that very moment so do not underestimate the effectiveness of dropping a short lil comment on an old piece if you’re feeling impatient <3

[aro-laurance-zvahl]

I am still slugging my way through episode 15 and may I say. It’s terrifying that Rosamund isn’t having to roll any deception checks. She is blatantly lying that everyone is on board, and yet. And yet not a single deception check so far. That’s a BAD SIGN