#it becomes super hard to. idk just talk about how MY week went

[fulloflovebees]

I know not every friendship needs to get that deep but ive known these people for awhile and sometimes i do yearn for something more

[captianbrnes]

Pretty like the Sun

Summary: When you start to doubt yourself, Bucky is here to pick up the pieces you left behind.

Warnings: Insecure reader, that's all i think

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!reader, friends to lovers

Word count: 1k

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆

You don't even remember how it started. It just switched one day and now all you could focus on was ur ‘faults’.

Were you even fit to be an avenger? How did people like you? Did your friends even truly like you? Weeks went by and you could feel yourself slipping more and more, you tried to act normal to your super friends hoping no one would notice. Bucky did.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ 

 “Have you noticed anything wrong with Y/n? She just seems off, im worried” Bucky expressed to Sam and Natasha in the kitchen while making a cup of coffee.

“ Idk man she's your girl shouldn't you know?” “She's not my girl Sam.” He rolls his eyes knowing Sam knows about his crush on you.

“Maybe go up to her, just go check on her.” Nat says as she pats the super soldiers’ back, leaving the kitchen.

He decides then that the only way he'll know is to ask so Bucky gets up to head to your room. 

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ You're laying in bed staring up at the ceiling when you hear 3 knocks from the door. Not feeling up to talk to anyone, you don't say anything hoping whoever’s there will just leave. “ Doll it's me Bucky, I want to talk, can you open the door for me?”

Oh Bucky… Your crush for the longest time, also one of your closest friends. Ever since you first joined the avengers you knew you were done for. His immediate smile threw you off your feet and it was then you knew.

You and Bucky started to become closer to each other over the months, spending most of your time together either watching movies or walking around New York. Bucky was one of the people who you cared about the most and that's why you felt so insecure. You wanted to be your best for him all the time, be perfect in hope that he’ll maybe fall for you just like how hard you fell for him.

What you didn’t know was that he already fell just as hard.

The first time Bucky spotted you he couldn't believe his eyes. He didn't understand how someone could be that beautiful, your eyes shined and your smile glowed, you look like the Sun. He cared so much for you and hasn't felt this much love for anyone ever and just wanted to make sure you’re okay, that's why he's here.

You decide to get up and open the door for him, checking the mirror beforehand making sure you look okay. “ Hey Buck, everything okay?”

You choke out looking up at him while trying toseem happy. “ Yeah everythings fine, just wanted to check on you, haven't seen you in a while… Can I come in?” Bucky says rubbing his hand on the back of his neck hoping that you'll let him in and open up to him. “ Uh sure-” You both opt to sit on your bed and it's then that Bucky takes your hand and decides to speak up.

“I'm here because I'm worried about you doll.. What's going on? You know you can talk to me right.” He says looking down to you with genuine worry in his eyes. He could get so scared sometimes worrying if he upset you in some way. “ No, I'm fine-” “Dont.” Bucky interrupts. He tilts your chin up to meet his eyes.

“ Don't act like it's fine when it's not. Some Things upset you, I want to know what it is. Let me help you like you helped me” This was it. As he said that you felt yourself breaking and water managed to make it out of your eyes finally breaking down.

“Hey hey hey, i got you, you're okay breath baby, breath.” Bucky says holding you closer to him and accidentally letting a pet name slip out. After Bucky gets you to breathe and calm down he sits you on his lap and starts to speak.

“ You're okay Y/n, I'm here with you okay. Just talk to me whenever you're ready.”

It's then you finally speak up and voice all your insecurities about how you dislike how you look and feel as if youre useless and don't matter to the team. Bucky’s heart starts to break hearing these words come out of you feeling as if you're not good enough. He can't stand to see you like this anymore and put his forehead on yours making sure you're looking at him.

“ Look at me, doll, I have never thought about you in any of those ways. You are the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen and the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

“I want you to know how incredible you are and that I understand how you're feeling but that none of it is true. I am so in love with you it's crazy.” Bucky spills out not caring about if you feel the same anymore, he just needs to get it out.

“ You light up a whole room with that smile of your doll. You're the funniest person I've met and bring me so much comfort… I've never cared about anyone like i've cared about you.``

“Bucky i-” Is this true? Does he really feel the same way? “ Bucky, are you serious?” you exclaim.

Realizing that you might not share the same feelings, buckys eyes go wide with worry looking like a kicked puppy, before saying “ I um- I know that you might not feel the same ways as me but i couldn't keep it in any longer. And I'm sorry if I ruined anything I didn't mean-”

You silenced him as you crashed your lips into his humming into the kiss. You guys finally pull away after a while and decide to cuddle up under the bed together, your eyes closing.

There's still much more you guys need to talk about in the morning but none of that comes to mind now that Bucky’s finally holding you in his arms.

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A/n : Hiii!!! Hope you liked the story. Im going to try to write more just and super busy.....

[xproskeith]

can you tell i'm bored-

please answer those. i also drew a ghost for you. because i'm bored. i'm gonna answer my asks too lmao HAVE FUN!

Lmao ok but I actually love this. The you wrote it out AND the ghost! Tis the season!! 👻🎃 Now let's begin!

11: best friend?

My best friend is awesome! His name is Ben and we've been friends since we met at college for our first degrees (we'd both end up going back for nursing later. He ended up following me on that front). But we really started to get closer after we both graduated and especially after I moved back to New Orleans after moving home after graduation for a year and a half. He's just a really cool and chill guy who has always been there for me and been super supportive. We've both helped each other through some really rough times in our lives and really supported each other. He's pretty introverted, tho if you met him you might not realize that at first. It's a hilarious contrast to my extreme extroversion. I also owe meeting my wife to him. He pushed me to finally get on the dating apps and I met my wife on hinge. He also encouraged me when she and I started talking and dating seriously. He also knows how to deal with my anxiety very well and respectfully, tho my anxiety has gotten immensely better than it used to be. Still, worth mentioning. He's also said on multiple occasions how much he appreciates and like how I am just unapologetically me and an unapologetic nerd. To quote him, "genuine folks are hard to find." So that was also really cool to hear from him and just reaffirmed that being myself is the right move. When he lived in the city with me, we'd hang out at least once a week. But we text daily for the most part and still try to see each other as much as we can even tho he's 2.5hrs away now. He was my best man and gave an amazing and touching best man speech. Now, almost a year later, people still talk about it and quote him, "IDK how else to describe him other than he's aggressively friendly." it's accurate and everyone who has heard that agrees lol. Anyway, he's great and I'm blessed to have him in my life. Here's a pic of us at my bachelor trip and before my wedding. As you can see, and as I've mentioned before in various other posts, the dude is built like a Greek god lol

15: favorite movie

This is actually a hard one lol. I enjoy a lot of movies, but have a hard time narrowing down a fave. Hmm. Deadpool and Wolverine is certainly up there for very obvious reasons, but a movie that has always stuck with me since I was younger is The Prestige. It's a well done film whose twist really got me at the end. It's rare for me not to figure out a movie twist before the end and this one I did not see coming.

18: most traumatic experience 

You're gonna get 2 for the price of 1 lol. 1 childhood trauma and 1 adulthood trauma. Both cover a span of time instead of one specific incident.

First is childhood. From pretty much 1st - 4th grade, I was bullied pretty often. I was a very big and fat kid who was also nice and didn't exactly fight back, so I suppose in retrospect that made me an easy target. But beyond that, I was often made the butts of my peers' jokes or would be asked to do something silly or embarrass or the like and they'd say stuff like "of course we're you're friend!" and "if you do it, we'll be your friend." so this went as well as you can expect. It got so bad and took so much of a toll on me that my mom literally pulled me out of school to homeschool me from 5th-8th grade. This would eventually become repressed as the mind often does only to rear its ugly head later in adulthood when my friends wanted to institute a "punishment" for whoever placed last in our fantasy football league. I had always opposed this idea, but they we were really pushing for it that year. Didn't help I was dead last, but I was having such a visceral reaction and didn't know why. But I was literally about to drop out of the league because of it. Then all of a sudden the memories came flooding back and I finally understood the why. I explained it to 3 of my friends in the league, including the guy in charge, and they abandoned the punishment idea. They said they hoped they knew that this was very different and that no ill will was meant. I did, but it didn't stop how I felt. So the punishment idea was dropped.

Now for adulthood. That would be working through COVID as a nurse. This was traumatizing in many ways, but in particular there were 3 key points. The first was watching patients deteriorate and die so rapidly. Like I would leave in the morning and come back to find out my patient coded and died 3 hours after I left. They were fine before then. We also called so many rapid and codes because people would deteriorate so much and so rapidly. Despite everything I knew and docs and nurses way more experienced than me knew, we couldn't save them all or stop the rapid spiral.

Secondly, every time a code blue or rapid response is called overhead, it's preceeded by a beep on the intercom. I would hear that so many times during that time that I found myself to physically flinch and tense and my heart would race whenever I'd hear it. Even a year later when it was just happening to make an announcement. Didn't realize it was legitimately a PTSD response until I was talking to an army buddy who was like "Yeah dude that's what happens to me when my PTSD gets triggered." I overcome that by becoming the code and rapid nurse for my icu when I moved. So I just threw myself headlong into it and overcame it by exposure and desensitization.

Lastly, there was the whiplash of being called a hero and having my knowledge and insight respected only to be called a liar months later. By my own family even. I still remember making a lengthy thoughtful post about the importance of making and explaining why surgical works for day to day vs the n95 masks needed in hospital and the same day my mom made a post about how covid is a lie and masking is just the government trying to control us. My family has on multiple occasions told me my experiences weren't real and I was exaggerating, especially because I'm liberal. After many fights, we all finally agreed to just never talk about it around each other. An uneasy peace, but better.

So there you have it. My two biggest traumatic experiences lol.

21: what I love most about myself

My kindness and willingness to help people

28: a description of the person I dislike the most

Hmm I don't really dislike people. But I suppose this one older lady at work. Kind of short, white, fading blonde hair that's always short. She's always unhappy lol. Mostly dislike her bc she gatekeeps certain patients and has full control over the schedule despite not being the manager.

42: last thing I ate

Greek yogurt and pumpkin seed granola

[kale-smoothies]

I really want to hear someone ramble about music and characters, and this is the second time I’ve seen those songs being used to describe Scourge so please explain away.

if you want of course.

OKAY OKAY GIRL ANACHRONISM MOSTLY FEELS LIKE PRISON SCOURGE

everytime i listen to the song i imagine an animatic so ill do my best to explain why I associate the song with Scourge.BUT ITS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO EXPLAIN THINGS LIKE THESE so forgive me if it doesn’t make sense

From the scars on my arms And the cracks in my hips And the dents in my car And the blisters on my lips That I'm not the carefullest of girls

Scars on his arms and blisters on his lips cause he’s always fighting AND being tossed around like basketball (He was used as a basketball in one panel) so I always think he had some small lasting scars on his body or something

And the strings that're breaking And I keep on breaking more And it looks like I am shaking But it's just the temperature

Okay FIRST TWO LINES, I like to take it as a metaphor for losing control. Scourge lost control over his life and KEEPS losing control in prison, OR it could be a metaphor for losing sanity. As Scourge was seen being super paranoid at one point, maybe everything he’s going through is slowly chipping at his sanity.

last two lines, shaky hands due to anxiety but also because he’s cold at night since he doesn’t have a mattress or a pillow or a blanket

If it were any colder I could disengage If I were any older I could act my age But I don't think that you'd believe me

It's not the way I'm meant to be It's just the way The operation made me

“I could act my age..” GUYS HE’S 17!! He did all he did when he was 17! Barely 17 too. “The way the operation made me.” IT’S THE NARRATIVE! HE’S TALKING ABOUT THE NARRATIVE! HE WOULDN’T BECOME WHO HE WAS IF HE WASN’T SHOVED INTO THE VILLAIN SHAPED COOKIE CUTTER THAT THE UNIVERSE WANTED TO MOLD HIM INTO! He accepted and embraced his role as Anti Sonic which is WHY HE’S SUCH A DICK! HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A SONIC! BUT THAT’S WHAT FLOWING

And you can tell From the state of my room That they let me out too soon And the pills that I ate Came a couple years too late And I've got some issues to work through

State of his room AS IN solitary confinement. They DEFINITELY tossed his ass in SC multiple times in the first week, BELIEVE ME. And he’d go crazy over no chaos energy, no movement, no running, no form of communication, just him, himself, and the darkness of his thoughts and his past regrets IT WOULD EAT HIM ALIVE

also he has ALOT of issues to work through Imposter syndrome, Superiority complex, parental issues, possible feelings of inadequacy. Which is probably why he never went to therapy with Zouge. He doesn’t want to open up and admit he has problems with people he doesn’t know

There I go again Pretending to be you Make believing That I have a soul beneath the surface

“Pretending to be you.” HE’S TALKING ABOUT SONIC!! Like? Like?? “I’m sonic at his fullest potential.” IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT THIS IS LITERALLY HIM!!

I was taken out Before the labor pains set in and now Behold the world's worst accident I am the girl anachronism

Literally him went he went green! He was taken out before he turned super AND so behold the world’s worst accident: scourge. He was never meant to be green, he just jumped off the road of the narrative with that little escape

And you can tell By the red in my eyes And the bruises on my thighs And the knots in my hair And the bathtub full of flies That I'm not right now at all

Red eyes due to insomnia, bruises because of fights, knots in his quills because of lack of self care…

There I go again Pretending that I'll fall Don't call the doctors 'Cause they've seen it all before They'll say just

Let her crash And burn She'll learn The attention just encourages her

“Don’t call the doctors!” THATS HIM! NO BODY CALLS THE GUARDS WHEN HE’S BEING BEATEN SHITLESS! BECAUSE ZOBOTNIK DOESN’T WANT THEM TO!!!!1! “Let her crash and burn she’ll learn. The attentoin just encourages her.” DO YOU SEE MY VISUON

And you can tell From the smoke at the stake That the current state is critical Well it is the little things, for instance

In the time it takes to break it She can make up ten excuses Please excuse her for the day It's just the way the medication makes her

First part is probably Moebius after Scourge disappeared? Did it fall into anarchy? Did Alicia Acorn or the supression squad take control?

I genuinely don’t know how to explain the last line but its him its him its so him AUGGHHHHHHH

[torialefay]

Thank you for saying what ive been thinking omfg.

Chris does everything he can. There's very few people in kpop that exudes the vibe that they love music and making music as much as he does. Being an idol is what he worked so hard to get and im pretty sure hes implied time and time again and even explicitly said that he wouldn't want to live if he couldnt be an artist (and that bleeds into shy he loves the kids so much, but thats veering off topic). Im just constantly baffled how many people want him to throw it all away (bc idk how harsh jype would punish him), you know, just tossing out his reason to live, to talk about the war. Yes, absolutely. There are so, so many people dying because of this war, and its truly horrifying, but how many people screaming at him are willing to do what they're demanding of him and the kids? I always see people talking numbers and statistics, but rarely do i ever see someone talk realism. There are plenty of people who could spend their time going out to find ways to help Palestine instead of going online to yell at 8 men who got famous for their music and anyone who supports them. Some of yall have never listened to "antivist" by bmth and it shows.

Yeah, Chris looked so tired in that recent clip and just in general tbh (same for the rest of the kids). Everytime i see a clip of Chris when he said "im going to protect every single one of you" or when hes being super flirty and trolling or recently when he said he cant fix all of their problems, i just think "this man is going through what i went through, just 5 years later than i did." I literally have done all that, but instead of to a massive fanbase, it was to my friends, lmao. Being fiercely protective and wanting your friends to feel comfortable enough to lean on you, especially since they've been so good to you, but its turned into exhaustion bc you met some people who took mad advantage of your love and now youve gotta set some boundaries and limits. Unfortunately, he's an idol, so setting hard boundaries can be difficult without someone saying he's too cold and uncaring with fans or something bc we know just how fair the media can be when it comes to Chris🙄 i aint know him personally and never will, but if my interpretation of those clips are true and if this trend continues, he'll hopefully find peace and a decent balance with mental health in about 5 years time🥲

i really REALLY hope so. i'm not gonna lie, it surprised me like a week or two ago when chris said on bubble: "i feel like my enfj is slowly becoming intj hahaha". literally going from what is supposed to be one of the most expressive & involved mbti's to one that is most associated with being less interactive and more reserved/cold when meeting people. i don't want to say intj's are hardened, i don't think it's like that. but maybe that they just have a harder shell. which makes me really sad. it makes me think he's getting so burnt out by being the one that's always there for everyone that he's slowly needing to draw back to himself.

i hope that whatever happens, he's becoming his most genuine self. but i also hope that he isn't turning one way or another simply because of what's been expected of him. he's so good to us & it hurts to think that he'd have to change bc of stays. but if it's not due to that, then i'm happy that he's doing what he needs to do & i hope he can feel okay with setting boundaries for himself 🫶🏼

[freckliedan]

Hi!!! I just wanted to talk about how Dan and Phil as a brand is so relatable to neurodivergents in the way that they've been treated recently. So DnP built their careers off of being "weird" and "quirky" and socially awkward. That was Their Thing. Dan spoke for years about being violently bullied (quotes such as "being punched in the head by dickheads" stand out as a pre-BIG example of just how violent it got at times), Phil had the Why I Was a Weird Kid series, they both were frequently talked about as being "weird" and "awkward" by other YouTubers - they WERE the "weird" ones of the vlog group. The ones that awkward teens could relate to. Unfortunately, this got the attention of the #imsoquirky crowd who talks like they're experiencing all of these things while also being the same people who would mock me for my autism.

And that's the crowd now saying Dan is too old to be posting catboy photos or saying that the two of them "give the ick now, idk why." And I just can't help but notice how much I relate to that as an autistic and ADHD person. So many times over the years, I've made "friends" who were slightly into my interests, but then got weirded out by how hard I went into them. I think what we're seeing is the same thing happening to Dan and Phil. Drawing cat whiskers on your face to answer questions? Well that's "so cute and quirky"!! (/s). But actually playing as Catboys in JRPGs, dressing up in cat ears, making animal noises (which the two of them always did but ig this group overlooked), etc? Well that's "too far" and "so weird."

I think Dan especially got hit with this because he has more subscribers. When he talks about being bullied, most people can relate to that. But then when he goes and honks a horn in a game repeatedly (which tbh I've done before myself, very ADHD coded of him) or talks about hiding behind vending machines to avoid talking to people, that is suddenly "too annoying/weird" for some of the audience that got into him for his "relatably weird" content.

Sorry this is such a long ramble, but basically Dan and Phil have accidentally become the perfect examples of how kids with autism/ADHD/social pragmatic disorder/nvld/dyspraxia *insert other neurodivergencies that can cause atypical socialization* are treated. People might find your initial "quirkiness" relatable because everyone feels awkward or socially anxious at times, but it's when they see that you are Actually Just Like That and it's not to be #relatable that they turn on you and start saying that you're "too much" and "too weird."

Dan and Phil were the "weird" ones of the British vlog scene, and those of us who tuned into the younows or watched their older videos knew this, but someone who only subbed after watching a meme review or the two of them playing undertale might have assumed that they were the "right" kind of quirky/weird.

This is probably incoherent, but I hope you get what I mean.

this isn't incoherent! just such a well thought out ask i don't have anything to add. there's really specific ways i'm comfortable talking abour dnp + neurodivergence & neurodivergence in general so it's not something i've ever done super in depth posts abt!

i've actually gotten a few really lengthy asks like this over the last few weeks, so this is to you and to my other askers: i really appreciate that folks want to share their ideas with me but sometimes i genuinely don't have enough to contribute in response to add on to what's being said! and that makes it pretty impossible to answer asks like this.

so this is to everyone: feel free to @ me in the replies on your posts! (doing that leaves things cleaner than @ ing in the body of a post, which in my experience means folks are more likely to engage, if that's what you're looking for). especially loop me in about dnp + neurodivergene or dnp + gender!

this isn't a promise i'll rb or even see things, this website's functionality is shit, but like. it's actually way easier for me to see and support than if yall are sending me essay length anons, and this way i + others can find more people who share the same opinions as us! make ur own posts & ppl will follow u i prommy

[purplesurveys]

1933

Do you ever get super bad buzzing in your ears? Only during situations that I come from somewhere that's super loud then I'm all of a sudden somewhere that's quiet.

Do you know anyone who has actually been in an alcohol or drug related crash? As far as I know, no. I'm reminded of an ugly crash we witnessed inside the neighborhood - it was a car that slammed right into a post, and it was a Sunday morning. There's a part of me that theorized 'alcohol-related' but we never did hear anything about the accident.

What is so wrong with cigarettes? They kill your insides, they make you look older, they stain your teeth, and the smell sticks to you.

Did you celebrate Fathers Day? We did but it was a little lowkey this year. Father's Day happened to be the day after we arrived back in Manila from Vietnam, and we were just so fucking tired. It wasn't even the day after – we literally landed in Manila at 4 AM on Father's Day.

In the morning we were up for like 2 hours to pick up the dogs from the doggie daycare we had them stay at + have lunch, but then we all went back to sleep the entire afternoon lol. Then that evening we went to church and ordered takeout from Chowking (my dad's favorite) to have at home. It was lowkey as the whole family needed it to be lowkey, hahaha.

Do you actually think you’re funny? I know I am around the right set of people. My humor doesn't make absolutely everyone else laugh, though.

Have you ever had a deep conversation with someone who was high on anything? No.

Do you ever wonder if there really is someone who can complement your personality well enough to stay together for the rest of your life? It does cross my mind sometimes, yes. But then I remember how my last relationship ended and how that can always happen again, and it becomes a lot easier to remember how I'm much better off alone.

Do you hate how being bisexual is like a trend? I never thought of it as one. People around here also don't treat it as such...if you're bi, you're just bi.

Have you ever gotten a professional massage? Just once before, but I hated how they made me strip down. I told them no, but they said it was a part of the package blahblah; and being non-confrontational, I went ahead and did it but I hated every bit of it and told myself I'd never do it again.

Do you have a good relationship with your first love? We do not talk.

What is something you’re currently nervous about? Work, and what possible tasks are out there waiting to pounce and give me my next anxiety attack. As has been going on for the last 4-5 weeks...

Do you have a popup blocker installed on your computer? Idk if it's the same thing but I have an ad blocker extension.

Do you feel like you have life figured out? I definitely do not feel that that's the case right now. I have my sights set on resigning, but have no particular next direction yet. I'm torn between wanting to use some time off to rest, and being pressured to hop to the next job. What I have going for me, I guess, is that I'm okay with either option – I'm leaving my fate to a theoretical spinning wheel and see where life takes me. And wherever it takes me, I at least know that I'm mentally capable of making the most out of it.

Have you ever used a laptop in a coffee shop? Yes. Sometimes my best work comes out in coffee shops.

What was the last worst feeling you felt? Apart from work which-is-technically-the-right-answer-but-I-don't-want-to-get-into-it – the second answer here is the VERY complicated feelings I have for Liam Payne. The man I grew up with and brought me years of happiness is very different from the man he transformed as in the years following One Direction. And yet, either way, the man is dead. There's so many nuances, so many layers to it that makes the grieving journey extremely complicated. It's hard to put into words.

I'm sad about a Human Being dying, and I'm sad about One Direction's cursed fate, and I am sad about the universe never giving Liam a chance. But I am remain angry with him for all the messy fuckery he said about the band that gave him a platform in the first place, and the messy fuckery he did to his exes. It's like, it's sad, but I also do not intend to let you off the hook.

Do you ever tend to over-analyse? Yes.

Do you know anyone that like, no matter WHAT, they’re always pissed off? I feel like work has influenced me to be like this some days, which makes me sad. I'm a shell of who I used to be.

How do you react when you’re pissed off? I take a few moments to breathe deeply and to address everything with calmness and kindness even though I'm already exploding from the inside.

What celebrity did your most current ex resemble? Gal Gadot in some angles.

What is something creepy that has happened to you (or someone you know) recently? A man knocking on my car window and speaking to me menacingly.

If you named your car or family car, what would you call it? I call her Mitsu, short for Mitsubishi hahaha.

What would you do if you were faced with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy (at your current age)? Keep it and hope for the best with my parents.

What does it take for someone to earn your trust? They deliver on their promises/commitment/purpose. Surprisingly this is very hard to find in people. How hard is it to just...fulfill something you said you'd do?

Is there anything you should be worried about? Continued from anywhere between 5-7 days ago, I can't really remember. Yeah I'm a bit wary about job prospects given I'm considering resigning for good from my workplace. But until I don't have anything secured, I know that I need to keep being tied here. And I really hate that.

In any case, I've started giving myself the homework that I need to send applications to five openings every day. I've been able to keep at it so far, so only thing there's left to do is see where it takes me.

Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? I'm pretty sure I'm consistently going through high blood pressure from work. Every weekday my chest feels consistently heavy/tight.

Do you think you should fight for love? It depends. Sometimes it's not worth fighting for.

Are you experiencing problems within a current relationship? No.

When you need a temporary escape, what do you do? I take these. Sometimes I'd go to a coffee shop and just alternate between people-watching and going through my phone for a change of scenery.

How long did your last feelings of heartbreak last? In contrast to the "until I die" duration I thought it would be, it actually just lasted 7 months, lol. I discovered BTS not too long after the breakup and I've since been able to move past it.

Do you ever go shopping with your parents (not including grocery shopping)? Yeah sometimes, when we go out on Sundays.

When the weather is chilly but humid, what kind of things do you tend to wear? Chilly but humid is a sensation completely unfamiliar to me because where I live you only get hot and humid, or more hot and more humid.

When you’re walking somewhere, do you bring an iPod to listen to? I haven't used an iPod in like 13 years, though all the music I listen to when outdoors is in my phone.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder before? How did it affect your daily life? No.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience: Yeah, a few times. Last time was about a month ago when I drank my coffee that I had actually made the night before. It didn't taste off, but apparently it started to go off already so I didn't know it would affect me until I threw up like four times in a row.

Have you ever read anything by Chuck Palahniuk? What did you think? No.

How do you tend to amuse yourself on long car journeys? It depends on the people I'm with. If it's with my family, I just come up with a bunch of questions to ask everyone in the car; that way everyone and myself are all entertained. Taking surveys has definitely helped me come up with questions, haha.

If it's with close friends, it's not that hard to find ways to amuse ourselves tbh because we never run out of stories and prompts to talk about. Sometimes we'll also sing together, if we find a playlist that we all love.

If it's with workmates or otherwise a bunch of strangers, I just put on my earphones to either listen to music or watch videos to drown everything and everyone out.

Do you find that caffeinated or alcoholic drinks make you pee more than normal? Not so much with coffee; but with alcohol, yes, only because I drink so much water when I have it. I'm constantly driving myself so I'm not supposed to get intoxicated whatsoever.

How often do you need to charge your phone and iPod (on average)? Tbh just overnight. I never get to use my phone a lot since I work from home the whole day anyway.

Do you still enjoy watching Disney movies? Yes. I just watched Toy Story 1 & 2 and The Emperor's New Groove a few weeks ago.

What are some interests you have in common with your parents? Mm with my mom, I guess we both like Miss Saigon? Well, she liked it first, but because she played it on cassette so much when I was younger I ended up taking an interest in it as well.

My dad and I both like sports to an extent, but he's into basketball and MMA and I'm into wrestling. We also have some sort of a relationship with food, given his career as a chef and me just being an adventurous eater.

How old were you when your parents trusted you to stay home alone all day? I was around 14 when they stopped getting house help.

How long do you like to date someone before you bring them home to meet your parents? Can't relate. I've dated one person and never formally introduced her because she's a girl and I didn't know how they would take it.

If you could go to one country for two weeks, all expenses paid, where would you go and why? I'd go back to Da Nang in Vietnam, so I can enjoy their slow-paced living again. It was my absolute favorite part of my trip there.

Do you drink more or less water than is recommended? I'd say less. 

Do you like taking walks? I do. The problem is that this country is one of the Least Walking-Friendly Places Ever, and also, it's very hot. It sucks to walk when you're just collecting sweat the entire time.

Do you go on vacation with your family a lot? Where was the last place you went? We do it as much as we can, aka when my dad is home. Our last vacation was in Vietnam; we went to Saigon and Da Nang.

What do your parents think about piercings and tattoos? Do you agree with them? I know they're fine with tattoos because they have their own and because they never acted like it was the end of the world when my sister started getting a bunch of tattoos all over her arms. I'm not so sure about piercings, though. But sure, I like that they're nonchalant about it. My dad's mantra is your money/body, your choice and tbh that's the best it gets.

Which is the funniest name you’ve ever heard? There was actually a viral Reddit post literally just this week or was it two weeks ago? where there was someone defending themselves naming their child Nyxiryn, only to get absolutely destructed by the internet. The name is bad in itself, but it was the discussion that it made it so hilarious.

What are your religious beliefs? Are these the same as your parents’? I was born in a Roman Catholic family. I am quietly atheist.

Do you find it difficult to get to sleep early when you have to be up for something the next day? Yes, mainly because it sucks that I miss out on what's supposed to be my free time.

Unless I need to wake up early to line up for a concert or to get on a flight for a trip, in which I case I have had absolutely no trouble falling asleep early the night before hahaha.

Do you still enjoy coloring in coloring books? I love coloring.

Do you remember the Land Before Time movies? Who was your favorite character? I haven't seen them.

What’s your favorite genre of book to read? Memoirs. Self-written or otherwise.

Who has more influence over your taste in music - friends or family? All over the place, to be honest! Sometimes I'll discover new songs myself; sometimes it'd come from my sister; sometimes it'd come from internet recommendations...

When someone talks to you constantly, do you get fed up and easily irritated with them? I feel like this can't be answered with a straight yes or no. It really depends on the person. If I like them, I'd feel flattered and excited that they'd want to keep talking to me. On the other side of the spectrum, if it's an agent constantly messaging me to get insurance (because this does happen, lmao) obviously I'd get irritated.

Are you one of those people who texts back instantly? Yeah. I have my phone in hand constantly so it can't be helped.

Do you think going to college / university is the best option after you’ve left school? Here in the Philippines, it is. Education is valued very, very greatly here. It's also treated like a privilege here, sadly enough.

Is it easy to sleep late in your house, or are other people pretty noisy in the mornings? I have the worst neighbors who for some reason houses a billion fucking kids constantly screaming and crying 24/7. No, it's not easy to sleep in; I've woken up earlier than I'd want to on more than one occasion because of those brats.

Do you prefer watching movies alone or with other people? With other people.

What’s your favourite place to get pizza from? I've tried so many different pizza places all my life but I'm sorry, nothing for me beats good ol' fucking Pizza Hut LOL

Do you ever do something, and then wonder how many people are currently doing the same thing as you? Only like 9 out of 10 times.

When’s the last time the power went out in your house? Couple of months back during Typhoon Carina. Fortunately we didn't have it as bad as many other cities; power just flicked off and on, then off and on before it came back on for good.

Is there a laundry basket in your room? If yes, what color is it? It's in the bathroom, not in my room. It's brown.

Do you like those different flavored Tootsie Rolls? Idk, I've never had a Tootsie Roll I feel like.

Do you keep your shoes on a shoe rack, or just throw them somewhere? Yeah we have two shoe racks.

Think of the last verbal argument you were in; what caused it? Been a while since I've gotten in one.

Does your refrigerator have one door or two? Two. Left is freezer, right is the fridge.

Do you smoosh bugs, or just let ‘em go? Unless they're flying around me or on my skin, I let them go.

Do you know anyone who collects stamps? Nope.

What was the last thing you deleted off of your computer? On my work computer, it was all the files from 2023.

[thedisablednaturalist]

so sorry ppl that cant read are sending you messages about those posts but i get it completely. rheumatologists and osteos and NP's want to hear more abt my decade old severe anxiety and depression and adhd and ~more~ diagnoses than chronic debilitating pain and just slap vitamin D pills on it and throw up their hands because "test results are weird idk what to tell u even tho i said it was this two weeks ago". abled friends and coworkers can have conversations about their mental health struggles but its looked at self pityingly if i bring up how my life is irreparably damaged by my physical disability because disabled people have to be strong and resilient to earn a place in their field and if you cant cut it just get on those snazzy disability benefits and let it get worse. i think a lot of abled ND people just cant accept that they do not experience the worst of life's struggles and that solidarity doesnt make us the same

I try to be understanding and answer peoples questions politely when I have the spoons and if they are genuinely confused bc I used to be ignorant as well about a lot of aspects of physical disability but it gets so tiring. Nowadays there are a ton of resources from physically disabled people talking about their experiences its actually quite easy to educate yourself on our struggles. Like sorry I get a little frustrated and rude when I'm constantly bombarded by ableism and rude ass people.

Also yeah that's exactly what I've been trying to say. Doctors can usually relate to people having mental health struggles and even some aspects of neurodivergencey. But they cannot understand someone looking completely fine and not being able to detect anything but complaining of horrible pain and constant tiredness outside of the lense of mental health. And if your mental health is managed or only suffering because you are in constant pain, they say you're faking, or OBVIOUSLY you just need to lose weight, or drink more water, or exercise more than any able bodied person does. People take one look at me and think the solution is obvious and I'm just too stupid or lazy to figure it out.

And me saying this isn't saying that mental illness is super easy to deal with. Its fucking awful as well and many doctors say this shit to neurodivergents as well. And this is especially true for poc and people with psychosis or bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.

I went to my first therapist in my sophomore year of highschool and got medicated that same year. I started investigating my health issues in college freshman year and have JUST gotten actual results from treatment. SIX fucking years later. SIX fucking years of CONSTANT PAIN. And I have great insurance and a great dad who just wants me to feel better (my mom is a different story). My parents are sort of upper middle class and I live in a very privileged area. Of course that means I can't afford to move out even with an ok salary, but at least there are plenty of doctors around to choose from and plenty of appointments available. I can't imagine how long it takes someone without those advantages. And even still I had to fight to be listened to, I had to listen to so much bs from doctors and had to go from doctor to doctor begging for someone to listen.

Like they really don't get how unbelievably hard it is to get care for physical disabilities, visible and invisible. If you're visibly disabled you get treated like a child and a monster and you're isolated from society. If you're invisibly disabled you get laughed at by doctors and ignored. If it's hard for you guys imagine that difficulty increased by 100%.

I try to be really visible when I'm working in a position I know has my back. I really try to educate young people and children on what my disability looks like and I hope disabled kids and kids who eventually become disabled can see me and know that their lives are valuable and they are valuable. And it is possible to find joy in your life and reasons to keep living. And employers shouldn't be able to throw away our resumes and pay us less just cause we may need a little extra help. I know what everyone thinks when they see me in my wheelchair and using my walking sticks and when I tell them I need to take a break as I'm running out of spoons. I know their first thought is what the hell am I doing here if I'm in so much pain? When people see me by myself in my wheelchair they think I must have gotten lost and separated from my abled handler. I love my job, I love what I do, and I want to be able to keep doing it. But I can't work as long as an abled person, I can't do it without accommodations. Hell abled people shouldn't be working as long as they do either. I wish to live a life where I'm free to do the work I love without killing myself and still be able to live a comfortable life. Every disabled person, working or not, deserves to live a comfortable life.

[bound-up-feelings]

Hello dear,I’m in love with time,yeah the movie came out in 2016 (attlg) so what lol I LOVE how funny he is,but like there’s barely anything with him,even with Sacha,so if u could maybe write something about him,like reader got invited by alice but when reader went inside alice house they saw a mirror in maybe the bedroom and Alice nowhere in sight so they got in because they are curious and got teleported in under land,and as they walked they saw time castle and idk they got friends or even better enemies to lovers,anyway this is very long sorry,have a good day :D (reader can be a she or a they !)

Well first off, he thinks your exactly like Alice to all trust or any form of it is out of the window so say goodbye to that

Don't expect him to even be remotely nice to you from the moment he meets you

Ever since Alice came along all she has done is waste him and he despises her for that

It's the same with you

Even though you tried to reason with her that she's hurting the one thing that keeps this world turning she doesn't even listen to you

You agree with her all the way, but she's harming others to do so

Anytime you saw each other he'd get so pissed and frustrated at you

Yelling and trying to catch up before you and Alice could make yet another escape

Of course, he was always just so close but never exactly fast enough

And of course, in the end she realizes the truth, and everyone is happy when she finally returns what's been taken

After she's apologized you actually apologized as well

When time heard Alices apology he accepted it with a curt nod and a few wise words to warn her of future attempts to not listen to wiser beings

When hears you apologize, he is also apologizing for some odd reason

He cannot maintain eye contact with you for more than two seconds

The gears in the back of his neck are turning to hard he fears they may burst

He tries to calm himself by telling himself that what he feels is useless because you will be leaving for forever

Of course, you make a promise to come back the moment you have the chance

He nods his head in hope but also, he has a feeling that that promise may never be fulfilled

About a week later you actually came back

When you entered the castle, the seconds were super ecstatic to see you

They led you to Time and sure enough he was bent over working on something when he heard the seconds making commotion

"Will you be silent. I am trying to fix what you have broken and i cannot do so with all the chatter."

He says standing tall and turning to look in your direction

When he makes eye contact with you, he wastes none of himself to immediately cross the room and envelop you in a bone crushing hug

He sighs out as buries his head in your shoulder

"My dear, I was beginning you had forgotten your promise." 

Of course, he takes your hand in his and begins to lead you around just talking about anything and everything

At one point you stop and begin talk about random things

"You know I thought you didn't want to ever see me again. Since I was with Alice and all." 

He scoffs

"My dear. I have loved you since the moment I laid my eyes on you. Though it did frustrate me that you helped your friend conspire against me. I couldn't help but fall even deeper in love with you."

Those words shocked you, but you couldn't help but immediately hug him

"I couldn't agree more with you. I too fell for you too." 

And like that you found yourself going to him more and more often till you finally just said screw it and almost ended up staying there

Every now and then, instead of just visiting time like usual you were visiting your friends and family instead and found yourself staying with Time

So, you could definitely say that life was beginning to become a dream come true

(So sorry for such the long wait. Thing have been crazy. I have a better explanation on my pinned post, so please go check that out so your and everyone else is up to date.)

[vivi-mire]

PLEASEE tell me ur opinions on season 2 And its finale

season two got WACKY!!!! Like season one was pretty standard ygo, powerful cards in danger, shadow group after them, etc. but season two really went into full blast with the ALIENS. I DID NOT EXPECT THE ALIENS.

I am ELATED that they let Jaden become besties with aliens it’s so funny. Jaden is the only one who kinda knows what’s going on at any given moment but he’s not thinking too hard about it so the rest of the cast just have to survive off of his horrible lore drops. “Oh yeah I went to space and met the dolphin I created 10 years ago (that Kaiba SHOT INTO SPACE TO TEACH ALIENS HOW TO DUEL) and we’re all besties now :)!”

Chazz and Jaden have this like. Clown to Clown psychic link as the only people who see card spirits and neither of them clarify this to the others I love it. Not that saying “my ojama yellow talks to me” would win any sanity points for Chazz but at least Jaden could theoretically corroborate his story 

Also really loved the “eveyones coming to live with Jaden arc”, immediately followed by the “Jaden gets lost in the fucking woods for a week” arc. They brought the monkey back!!!!!!

Also the Zane arc. Atticus come get your bf he’s acting up.

SO. THE SOCIETY OF LIGHT. REALLY love how light is used as the “bad guy” element, it def shakes things up in a fun way. The corrupting, blinding light of destruction… Ough it’s so good. They popped off with this one.

Gotta say again tho, I really was not expecting the aliens. Having one possessing sartorius was def a twist for me, I just thought he was like that LOL. It was really touching how him and Aster had a brief main character moment in the duel before the actual main character came in to steal the thunder. Considering they brought in the winged dragon of ra for a ONE TIME GUY OF THE WEEK CHARACTER I should of expected they’d go crazy with the finale.

Speaking of that card I really enjoyed seeing Chumley and Pegasus again. In the of ygo I loved the Pegasus parts because he was a very scary threat in his debut arcs. You can tell now that he’s still a shithead, but he’s no longer like. Dangerous anymore. Was super happy to see him duel again with his toon deck. I hope we get more returning characters in the future, I’d like to see Kaiba come check up on his horrible school for once.

But yeah. Season 2 was great!!!!! Lots of aliens. I don’t know how they’re going to top that on the “thing that happens” scale but ygo never disappoints in that endeavor. There was a lot of references by the aliens of Jaden being the one with the power to do all this but like. They never really elaborated on it other than he drew a dolphin once as a kid? Idk maybe they’ll get into some of that in s3.

Favorite Hero: bubble man

Favorite alien: neo spacian glow moss

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi. This is very personal. I don't talk much about it because I don't think anyone who wasn't an abused/neglected child can understand it. Maybe you can. It isn't important that you answer fast, really. And I don't believe you have good tips for me. But maybe you do and if not, I have at least told someone about it.

tw psychiatry, suicidal gesture, self harm

10 years ago, when I was 13, I commited myself into psychiatry. I was severely suicidal, did attempt suicide (but never told anyone in my real life, still not) and had obsessive thoughts about killing myself all the time and... Idk didn't really want it. Not all the time. So yeah, I thought that was a good idea. Secretly I was hoping they'd take me out of my family, but that was a subconscious hope.

And psychiatry was... traumatic again. It was mainly (I believe) the loss of control (trauma-child, need much control) and that the people... didn't believe I was just a people pleaser. I wanted everyone to like me and did my best all the time but... the nurses seemed to have become cynical and didn't believe that. All my depression symptoms were called "lazy, doesn't want to cooperate", all my friendships "try to bring others up against the nurses" and all the mistakes I did, because I was careless or clumsy or didn't pay enough attention, were made with bad intentions. I tried so hard to make them believe me that I was a good person, but it was useless. (They didn't treat just me this way. The psychiatry, as I learned years later, has a very bad reputation for that very reason and their protocols etc aren't very reliable amongs therapists, because they always paint patient worse than they are). It was so horrible. (One example is, I did harm myself one evening and then went to the movie evening with the self-made bandaids, in short clothes, because I didn't care to keep it a secret. The self harmers were controlled once a week anyways. And the next day was control day and the nurse (the movie night nurse) was super shocked and angry that I didn't tell her and I said (and meant) "Oh sorry, I thought you noticed yesterday evening" so she wrote down "She harms herself to manipulate the nurses to get their attention!" (I was given the protocol after I left and... it still leaves me crying)).

That's one example but I guess it shows you all you need to know. Uhh, I am shivering from anxiety again. How unfortune. Anyhow.

The first year after I left, I had flashbacks daily. It became less and less and is now only a handful times a year. Which is still much, in my opinion, for 10 years, but I can't change it.

I just had such a flashback, an olfactic one. I was in bathroom and brushing teeth and suddenly had the smell of the community bathroom of the psychiatry in my nose. And I... was so sad that I am not there anymore. Which is the opposite of what I usually feel. I am so torn between those two extremes, it hurts.

Because it wasn't everything bad. There were people... seeing me. They recognized, what I did, they saw me, greeted me, took care of me. They later wrote down that I am a horrible human being, but at least someone SAW me.

And I had hope. They quickly called CPS to take me out of my home and my social worker promised me that and was looking for a new home for me. I had hope that something would change for me, that I wouldn't need to bear my family for many more years, until I can move out. The social worker later changed her mind, decided, it was too expensive and my mom seemed nice so, good for her, goodbye. Guess where I am still living.

And the last thing, that is kinda a secret, there was a doctor I really liked. Not like in a substitute-mom way, but she was a role model for me. I would've loved her to stay my therapist for longer or be in my life for longer so she could... guide me. Oh that sounds strange. I don't find better fitting words. So she really took care of me, came in, in her freetime to talk to me, she cared more about me than she did about most other patients. And that was... really something. I really liked being around her and getting real attention from someone, who didn't think I was a horrible human being 😱 extra super.

And that is something I miss and I kinda feel like.. i ruined her image of me? So, this is embarrassing for me: When I had to leave (back to my parents home, CPS still pretending to care) she called me and I... i really broke down. Worse than ever before and after. I can't tell why. I was crying and couldn't keep myself together etc. So she called my mom who drove me back. But after a weekend (in which that doctor wasn't there) the boss-doctor decided, that I wasted enough of their time and kicked me out again. And that time I kept myself together.

That doctor gave me her email and I mailed her and asked something.. obscure. It was a cry for help but it was just cringe in hindsight. She answered me but I was so ashamed of myself and the stupid message I had written her, that I never answered her back.

No, let's be honest here, so, I was back at home and needed to keep it together so I wrote her, how much I could increase the dose of my antidepressants, to still be safe for me. I was planning to self medicate (and I did). And I was so ashamed because it was half a legit question and half a cry for help but for me it simply sounded like a stupid, childish cry for help. So yeah. That was that.

And I felt like I needed to make some progress because there were some people from psychiatry rooting for me and I didn't want to disappoint them. Half/half. On the one hand, I wanted to come back, worse than ever (to show them, that I was legit sick. I felt somewhat inferior to people with bpd, because I was officially treated as "puberty depression" and they were treated as people who really suffered.) On the other hand, I wanted to make them proud. But reality was, I did neither. I stayed still, until now. I was never allowed to go to therapy, I developed more and more mental illnesses and learned to cope with them, to mask them almost perfectly, I didn't go to college, have no job, so, I am a disappointment.

I didn't leave the house (except school) because I was so afraid to meet one of the people, and make them disappointed in me. But that's another story.

So, I am torn between "never think about psychiatry, makes only flashback and panic attack" and "miss psychiatry. Want to think about it all the time, dive(dissociate) deep into it!". And it is 10 years idk, I am pathetic, that's no secret.

Okay, bye, no need to rush, I'll leave now to calm my anxiety down.

Hi anon,

I am appalled by how you were treated at psychiatry. It always baffles me when people whose job is to literally care for people who are struggling are so incredibly insensitive and neglectful. Part of being in the field of mental health care, especially nursing and psychiatric care, is hospitality, kindness, patience, and compassion. There are unfortunately too many people in these fields that are just so cold, rude, and ignorant, and I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that.

It also makes sense to miss psychiatry. A lot of people miss their trauma in a way, because it's sometimes more predictable than the present. Another reason could be because our trauma can sometimes desensitize us to softer and more gentile things, so we seek out or actively relive traumatic moments just to feel alive. But for you of course, it wasn't 100% bad, there were moments were you felt seen and cared for. It's important to remember that there were good times as well as bad times.

I want to focus on when you said you reached out to that one doctor you liked and that the way you worded your message made you feel like it was stupid and childish. You deserve to have more compassion for your younger self because you were going through a lot, and it made sense to reach out to what may have felt like the only person in your life who truly cared, even if the execution wasn't perfect. You say it was childish, but you were a child. You don't deserve to blame yourself for doing things as a child that you cringe about today, because that was simply your mindset at the time and that's okay.

I think finding a balance between "never think about psychiatry, makes only flashback and panic attack" and "miss psychiatry, want to think about it all the time" simply takes time and healing. A therapist may be able to help you work through both options and coming to a middle ground, as well as other things about your trauma that may need attention.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[kindchenschema]

greysanon again and tysm for answering i love talking about this stupid show lmao

okay agree about s12 it’s actually my ideal end point for the show after s8 and the magmeldith (i love maggie—she’s over hated and all the hate is over shit other characters would easily get away with but they come down extra hard on the black woman for some reason🤨—and im a sister lady chief stan idc that it’s corny i loved how snarky and close and fun they were in this season) everyone finally moved on from the derek stuff and they’re all learning now to be okay again it’s so good and endearing🥺

yeah! simone is so adorable and kind! she even made lucas tolerable but he’s annoying af and drags her down. he needs to leave her alone and they need to write in a new guy for her that adores her. honestly wish lucas was leaving the show and not yasuda but greys loves to disappoint.

speaking of yasuda, why has the chemistry between her and jules been so good these last couple of eps lol like when they woke up together the energy was giving GAY lol. they should bang before she leaves for good honestly

same for amelia and beltran who finally acknowledged the thing between them. i still don’t see sparks but i was charmed by beltran this week (spoilers for ep8) and i loved that amelia asked her out. idk why she’s always attracted to these emotionally unavailable women (addison is my top 5 greys women but sorry to say ive never sparks between her and any of the other women except maybe callie? i just don’t get a femslash vibe from her at all she gives me super straight wasp vibes srry lmao but she’s super hot and brilliant) but it’s good drama when they put in the effort to write it. seems like she could be sappy but like in erica hahn way (another fave idc that she was mean and arrogant she was right and they wrote her off so stupidly) where she’s still kinda cold to everyone else but sweet with amelia and honestly that would work for me because i love that dynamic for women. imma need a kiss by the finale to really solidify my interest tho.

but yeah no this season is so bland the show itself has become so low stakes and formulaic it’s like they’re afraid to actually take it in a compelling and dynamic direction because they don’t wanna alienate their old ass fans in middle america but what about us young fun dykes lmao. what if we’re tired of weekly hetero complications like we wanna have fun too!

greys anon bestie!! hi <3

girl you are so right, Maggie get behind me 🤺 I really love Maggie and I do agree that a lot of the hate she gets is due to misogyny and racism, and she was kind of put in a shit position being "the other Lexie" by the writers. (I personally never minded the recycled half-sister storyline but Lexie was a precious babe so of course people are going to be territorial.) the thing, to me, about Maggie, is like. yeah. she's a little bit annoying. but we have to remember she's an ex gifted kid turned gifted adult, she went through puberty and like pretty much all major "age-related" (mental) changes surrounded by people much older than her and she was also bullied, plus she grew up an only child who was very much the center of her parents' lives. like, yeah, when a person like that grows up, she's gonna be a bit childish and self-centered (for the RECORD I can name at least ten characters who are way worse in that regard starting with the ugly little gnome George o'malley) (also Maggie is extremely emotionally intelligent when it comes to judging situations/dealing with conflict but due to everything in her life just not happening at the "average" time and being so focused on her studies she's just starting to develop an adult sense of "self-awareness" when we meet her - and that is OKAY). tldr Maggie is an angel and the minuscule amount of flaws she has just make her a real, three-dimensional, complex human being, and I wish people would get over the Lexie thing so they could appreciate this wonderfully written and played character.

same I loved sister lady chiefs so much!! I had genuine Amelia/meredith brain rot a few years back 🤭 when Amelia was curled up at the foot of Meredith's bed and then when they were at the table and Meredith reached out to pet Amelia's head - I have a lot of Thoughts about how much of a puppy Amelia is but I don't know if this is a safe space so I'll shut up now 😭

simone is good at many things but nothing and no one can make Lucas tolerable to me, every time he is on my screen it makes me want to kill myself. I wish he would leave and from a show writing standpoint I don't understand why yasuda is leaving. it just feels like everyone is coming and going as they please, couldn't they hire main characters who actually want to stay on the show for more than three seasons? because I'm sorry but what is this?

anyways yes in the very beginning I thought they would make yasuda and Jules a thing... I do think they would be good together in the time yasuda has left (in the show haha) but I found the storyline with her fight with Taryn very dissatisfying and just... meh, I guess. (but that could be said about any storyline at all of the past five seasons so)

okay enough of me being a hater!! I am a lover now. Love ❤️

okay I lied I still don't like Beltran and I want her to go away. I do agree with you that the badboy who's sweet to one (1) person in a lesbian dynamic is top tier, but regardless I do want kai to come back to Seattle and also their senses and for them to confess their love to Amelia. as an alternative I would settle for seeing addimelia scissor on national television. but that's beside the point.

anon have you watched private practice? if you like Addison, you should!! she's definitely a wasp but she is a lesbian i know it!! (source: delusion)

honestly I really wonder how their more conservative/republican fanbase feels about the general tone of the show now (I mean the hardcore alt-right people probably stopped watching a long time ago haha) because even though I'm anything but conservative I find it very disrespectful. I mean, you can't have every main character parroting one political standpoint (in ear-cancer inducing twitter lingo might I add) and the faceless "bad guys" saying the other. like with the roe v wade storyline - obviously I'm pro choice, but there could've been something way more interesting. instead of "bad guys throw brick at good guys" (Kwan). something to reach people on both sides and have an actual nuanced conversation - what if a woman who was a protester had gone to Addison for an abortion? for example

dude imagine if we were writers on the show... every character would be a dyke. Addison dyke, meredith dyke, Amelia bisexual(no one's perfect), NICOLE HERMAN!!! DYKE. Owen? dyke! you get it

thank you soo much for these anons they really make my day :'') as you can see I am a bit obsessed with grey's (I also write fanfic) so I'm super delighted to yap about it with you <33333 (but I promise I'm normal otherwise 😭 I go to school, I have friends, etc no basement dwelling going on here no ma'am 🫡)

[knwbetter]

day 5 since we last talked: i've definitely been thinking of him today. there were moments where he entered my mind and face would grimace in pain. i missed him still a lot today. i miss talking to him, i miss his presence, i miss our banters and subtle flirting that we had every day. i miss when he so clearly wanted to talk to me every day... he would bombard me with messages, i don't have that anymore and i miss him so much. i want him back so bad even if that's probably not the best idea. i really thought we had a connection especially when he first mentioned that he had the same situation as me growing up. he seemed really intrigued by me from the start. he would make the effort to talk to me every day and i did the same as time went by bc i felt like we had a connection going on. he seemed genuinely interested in what i was into that he ended up watching the films i love and the games i love. how could he spend all the time for me when in reality he wasn't into me? i'll never be able to wrap my head around it. i'd never waste all that time on someone i didn't like, it's just crazy behavior. was he just bored and found me easy? it's hard to believe in anything he's said to me now, i don't think i trust him. but at the same time, i still want to talk to him. i feel like i'm expecting him to text me again out of the blue. it doesn't seem likely tho. i still can't believe he played with my feelings. i don't think i've done anything to deserve it tbh. what was his intentions when he talked to me? i've always wondered about that ever since the beginning. it felt like he had some kind of intention with the way he was talking to me which was probably why i felt so guarded. he was overly familiar and trusting too in the beginning which made me feel so uncomfortable bc i didn't know who tf this person was. slowly but surely tho he made me open up to him. i did notice tho that when i shared small tidbits of myself that he didn't ask for, he didn't acknowledge them. that hurt my feelings tbh bc i rarely share something like that and knowing that he simply ignored it definitely hurt me. after that i told myself i wouldn't share much of myself unless he asked. he did ask a lot about me but that was it, only interested in what he wanted to know about me. i must say, he was interested in a lot but in the end i didn't know what he wanted from me.

around two weeks of talking he told me i was a joy to talk to. even said he's become pretty comfortable with me. and a bunch of other flirting with me but idk any of that was real which hurts. now he can't even be bothered to talk to me, when old him would text me about anything. did i do something wrong? was i too ugly for him? after reassuring me countless times too that i was perfect and that he already likes me for who i am. i didn't believe him of course bc how could you say that without seeing someone's physical appearance? well as you would have it, he started acting off after i showed him my picture. he even said that he'd obviously like to see me in person first before entering a relationship but could say yes for now, even if he already saw what i looked like. and prior to saying this, he said that i was definitely his. so what is what honestly? he made me more confused and i was super hurt ngl. i might've been stupid to bring that up but i wanted to know what his intentions were and if he was serious about me, otherwise i didn't want any of this fake shit. we'd just be wasting time, feelings, and effort for each other. yes it was fun but i don't want it if it isn't going to go anywhere.

i yelped a few times whenever i thought about him today. i couldn't believe i was that open and vulnerable with him. i also cringed at myself for my behavior with him, i didn't know i could be like that with someone. i had the hugest urge to pull up our chat and text him. how would that make me look tho? desperate and needy, when he probably doesn't even want me like that. it hurts! we were cute but he had to ruin it. i really thought he had a pure heart from how he presented himself to me. he was so sweet and patient with me and i thought it was too good to be true. and it really was. it's like i just imagined the whole thing. like none of it was real or that it happened. now i'm super curious what he wanted from me. i guess he wasn't the person he pained himself to be. god, i really fell for that act? oh he's good, lemme tell you. i really felt that he was genuine and usually i'm pretty wary around people and go super analysis mode on them. i guess i misjudged him hard, i was probably blinded by how much i liked him. which is so funny to think about bc i was annoyed at him in the beginning and felt that he was cringe. anyway yea, i still missed him a lot today even if i shouldn't be. i need to think of the way he treated me last and think if i really want to be with someone like that. he should've at least communicated that he didn't like me that way. i remember we agreed on communicating and talking it out is the best and i told him i was glad we were on the same page. i guess i was worried about it for a reason. turns out he's not the best at communicating. he's not the person i thought he was. i honestly thought he was mature enough to talk about these things like proper adults but nope. he still has a lot of growing up to do. i felt sad a lot today whenever i thought of him. plus why does every damn thing have to remind me of him? from tv series to music like give me a fucking break.

[always-andromeda]

Okayokay, hi! I know it’s been like a week since you responded to my last ask, but I just started summer semester so it’s been kinda hectic. It goes by so fast since it’s a 6 week semester instead of 12, so I’m already studying for midterms :,(

But anyway! I hope your exams went well and that you were able to pass your classes! It can’t be easy trying to get through school when your mental health isn’t doing so well.

And a potential vacation and some music events?? Sounds funnn, I hope you get to do that stuff and enjoy yourself :)

Yeah, I totally get what you mean about Songbirds and Snakes. It’s so so different from The Hunger Games since it’s from the POV of Snow and like…we know what he ends up becoming. So it’s not necessarily hopeful like THG ends up being. But it’s so interesting learning about how he became who he is in THG.

Also! On the subject of THG, idk if I mentioned this to you, but I recently watched a show Josh Hutcherson is in called Future Man (he’s the lead guy). It’s about time travel and it’s super off-beat and there’s lots of dirty humour, and it’s so funny and clever!! I think it’s a Hulu show? But we don’t have Hulu here so I watched it on Disney+. If you’re interested in stuff like that, I would def recommend. Josh is super funny and pretty in it!!

Oh my god I feel that so hard. Since I was 13, my parents have not heard the end of my many celebrity crushes. I think they tolerate my obsessions—at best 😭. But I cannot wait till The Covenant comes out on Prime, I’ve been watching edits and I am confident I’m going to lose my shit while watching it cause he looksTHAT GOOD. Like the ultimate dilf energy 😩

Finally, as a treat, I deliver yet another set of edits to you:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM2eY42qJ/?t=1

https://www.instagram.com/p/CsBXoG0yzNL/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

-🤹

Hey, E!! So sorry it’s taken a bit to answer this one!! The last few days have been a bit messy for me and I’ve not had much energy to be online. But damn, congrats to you for taking on a summer semester!! I was thinking about signing up for a few summer classes myself but I've needed the break after the semester I just had. 😅 Hopefully these classes go well for you!!

And listen, now I've officially bought a copy of Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (and two new Palm Pals for my fledgling collection hehehe) as a fun little end of the semester present to myself. Partially because I wanna know what's going on when the movie comes out in theaters. The idea of going to a see a Hunger Games movie in theater again?? Ugh, it makes my heart just light up with nostalgia. 💖 So get ready to hear my thoughts and opinions on it in the coming weeks!!

About that show: I'm pretty sure I've actually seen some edits for Future Man?? I now have a whole Josh Hutcherson folder on TikTok because my algorithm just keeps giving me content about him lol. That one scene where he's like on his knees and saying that he promises he'll be a good boy and he'll be quiet?? 😀 I think that's from Future Man?? All I know is that if I watch that...I think I will go certifiably insane. But I'll definitely add it to my watchlist and check it out once I get the chance to!!

p.s. those edits?? sweet jesus I am so— 🥴 the beard and glasses combo???? God, I am gonna have a time watching this movie.

Here's some edits for you in return!!

🎁 (here’s that Josh scene I was talking about earlier lol)

🎁 (and here’s some more of bearded Jake)

[doughnutshi]

Super late but I also relate to this extremely hard as well as a fellow Chinese American 🫡 Not so much episode 5 but growing up I always had to keep friends at arms length or even keep them secret due to their gender from my parents to have the limited time to go out and hang with them. I always have to be secretive about my private life due to my parents. It’s isolating but not really since I was still going to school. But I wasn’t allowed to do extracurricular activities only on very rare occasions where my grade was a stake. (Similar to how Mizu was trapped in her house as a kid) I feel like many Asian American in particular can relate to the overbearing parents and once they become an adult and go off to college they can finally be free. (in an ideal situation) That isolation has made me hold in my emotions since I has no one to talk to and the people I had were my parents and if I did I would get in trouble for “lashing out” or “being a bother” or some crazy reason that can be twisted into a fight. Then insults would be thrown and I still have to hold my emotions and apologize even when I’m not at fault.

What really hits me Mikio himself. I had my own Mikio. Now I didn’t marry the guy but I almost did. I wanted to marry him. We talked about marriage many times and how we would combine our cultures together and have multiple weddings. Honestly I didn’t like him at first because I didn’t know him at all (I didn’t even know his name when he confessed and I was to afraid to ask. I only found out his name when a friend asked me if I was dating him ☠️) It took awhile for me to open up. I was so used to being along, being isolated even hated I tried my best to keep at arms length. Problem is growing up in a traditional Asian household I never really experienced love or felt love or affection so it was all new to me. Weeks turned to months then years. We even became the “it couple” at our school. I was known from both upper class man to classmates for dating this guy. I eventually trusted him with my private life, my trauma and my body. Which is REALLY trusting ESPECIALLY for an Asian growing up in a traditional household. Like I can’t even tell my closest friends where I live. (Who met my parent btw and they know them by name. + they went to my graduation ☠️ But now they now lol) I gave up my first time to this guy (just like Mizu) and although he didn’t betray me I did felt betrayed when we broke up. The moment I started setting boundaries and be me not the version of a gf he wants he left me. (Like how Mikio stopped loving Mizu after the fight) So during that scene I felt the same as she did. Although our situation was not the same I felt like it was similar enough. Does not help that my ex looked similar to Mikio ☠️

This whole episode hits way to close to home in a lot of ways. I love it A LOT and hate it A LOT (in a good way) I love Mizu so much as well. I relate to her struggles in a lot of ways if she can improve I can too 😤 (and maybe I’ll find my Taigen or Akemi one day djdjd) I’ve only found this show like a month or two ago so I’m very late to the party and it’s already my comfort as well. (Now I’m rewatching in Japanese and UGH Mizu voice in Japanese is MMMM 👌 on my KNEES every time she talks 😩)

is this trauma dumping? Idk I didn’t find it traumatic but if it is my bad 😭 I like Mikio as a character but DAMN do I hate him with a burning passion as person-

Blue Eye Samurai || Episode 5

[thesapphireprincess]

The lost art of reading,

Hey dolls, I once read that reading is becoming a lost art. I whole heartedly agree with this statement even I was falling victim to this. I am a new reader and I am determined to become well read. I grew up in front of the t.v as a kid and the only reading I ever did was in school. I am now remembering a time when I use to love reading as a kid I had an entire collection of books from school & book fairs but after I entered my 2nd year of middle school I pretty much stopped reading for fun. Idk why I think I got a laptop or something or it could of been that I went to a school where it was uncool to be smart or to read and you got called a nerd if you got good grades. One time I got an A on my test and I was super excited then this kid called me a nerd so I lied and said I cheated on my test, the teacher was right next to me….

The past year I’ve been trying to become a reader but nothing was consistent, I tried audio books for a little bit and that helped me finish a few books but that stopped as well. Last week I had an urge to go to my local library and check out a few books. I’ve always had a strange habit of buying books but never reading them. Now I’m reading every day even if it’s a little bit.

The current books I’m reading

- The complete beauty book

- Cleopatra the queen who challenged Rome and conquered eternity

- How to win friends and influence people

- How to be a femme fatale

Now you may be thinking that’s a lot of books to be reading at once (these don’t include all the books I got from the library I’ll talk about those later) and yes it is but I am reading them at different times. The first book I read in my leisure afternoon time because it’s a book on all things beauty. The second book I read in the morning, through the day on my off days and at night before bed. I read the third book during my work week on my breaks because I work 12 hour shifts I get 3 breaks that equal out to 2 hours and I keep that book in my car. The last book is an ebook I bought from a Tik Tok creator at 3am so I read that book when I wake up at random times in the early am. I could just read the same book during these times instead but I get bored easily and I just can’t read the same book all day unless it’s super interesting and I can’t put it down. I also just like reading about different topics that way it keeps reading interesting. I usually read about 4-6 pages every time I pick up a book.

The books I got from the library

- The complete beauty book

- A Cleopatra book

- A style guide book

- In the company of woman ( A career book)

I was super excited to get these books the fact that you could walk into a huge library with books on every subject and learn all these new things that you never knew about and finish with a whole new mindset and lifestyle really amazes me. Go to your local library and get 3 books on 3 different topics. You could get a style book or an ancient history book or a science book. I prefer non fiction books but fiction is also an option. I just love the library because it’s free knowledge and you can become a completely new and improved you. Also fun fact what you consume effects your thoughts and conversation skills/topics. If you find it hard to communicate with others or you never know what to talk about, you should take a step back and review what you’re consuming mentally that includes what you’re watching , what you’re eating and what you’re listening to. Catch you in my next post. <3

[ All these pictures are mine & unedited. I love taking pictures of myself & things in my life]