#it's only sexy when he does it

[darlingshane]

frank castle manspreading.

[heybiji]

dandelion casually dropping traumatic information while insisting that instead of killing the problem wizard they simply burn his tongue

[seilon]

my only complaint about 2005 dw is that we didn’t get more episodes with gung-ho mortal baby jack harkness. absolutely smitten by that fucker

[theloveinc]

act i scene i: older, childless, bachelor Barbarian!Bakugo finds you six months pregnant hiding in an empty stable during one of his clan raids--and instead of slaughtering you as a much younger him might've done...he throws you onto his cart of treasures and decides to take you home so he can start the family he never had with you and your child as his bride and baby.

[rosesocietyy]

real rashid you've gone platinum in my household, if you have zero fans it's cause I'm dead

[amorremanet]

I love and respect angsty 🍖🍃 takes, tragedy is delicious and theirs deserved more time and exploration, I want to drown myself in their tragedy and other people’s takes on it

But at the same time, when a bitch (me) starts writing them, it’s going to be as the ghostly realm’s genderfluid Gomez and Morticia Addams, SQX got punted back down to being a mortal which means they can become a ghost, the Black Water arc was not their breakup but was in fact necessary for SQX and their supreme calamity spouse to be happily married, sometimes He Xuan will be in the middle of kissing and caressing their way up SQX’s bare leg only to get yanked away by Hua Cheng kicking in the door like “YOU STILL OWE ME MONEY AND I AM INVOKING A FAVOR” while He Xuan squawks and hisses like an incredibly upset cat and SQX pouts and fumes and goes into Xie Lian’s private communication array to complain to him about his husband being an obnoxious cockblock, etc. etc. etc.

I apologize for nothing, I’m just living my 🍖🍃 truth

[musubiki]

Lime (thinking about his perfect score in AWS evaluations): you can’t seduce me tho

Mochi: … ok then ^pulls the elastic of her thigh high up and lets it snap back^

Later

Coco: why is Lime shoving his head in a bucket of water

THIS IS SO FUCKING ON BRAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT MOCHI PLAYING THE THIGH CARD!!!!!! YOURE SO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!

[rist-ix]

https://www.tumblr.com/rist-ix/749015401700229120 not you reblogging this when you ship bloom with the man who murdered her family 😭

Bloom's into ppl who slay! Hope this helps :3

[darlingpwease]

WEI WUXIAN, who is afraid of childbirth and pregnancy, and wants to have adopted puppies sooner than ever give birth to them, because he knows a lot of stories about painful childbirth and death during them, and the very thought of pregnancy makes him feel terrible —

♡

alpha!reader who makes a lot of nests and brings clothes so that your omega can hide in them, but at the same time you completely lack any desire to have biological puppies, even if your parental instinct is very active and even aggressive in manifestation — but you completely spend it on your husband, who remains an eternal puppy.

[mummer]

they could never EVER neverrrrrr ever ever do this even ryan condal would never cede such an “iconic” setpiece & “memorable” dialogue and even if he wanted to HBO simply would not allow it but in my minds eye ideal hotd adaptation of the battle of the gods eye completely discards EVERYTHING supposedly recounted/editorialized in fire and blood no anime dialogue no ultra choreographed fight scene no cinematic beautiful shots of the dragons dancing no leaping from dragon to dragon its actually like incredibly fast and loud and incomprehensible to the audience just beasts colliding and ripping each other apart dirt and blood and horrific and disgusting and ultimately super SUPER pathetic ❤️ daemon and aemond dont get to make any epic last stands theres no glorious blaze out, no chilling last words, no grand narrative, in the end it really is just two men thudding to the bottom of a lake and getting eaten by fish. make the craziest climax in the world an anticlimax. ultimate antimoment

[happyk44]

Zeus probably uses the phrase "making love" all these time. Like Hera will just be like "yo I wanna fuck" and he just bats his eyes like "you mean make love" and she has to count to three otherwise she's just gonna whack him, like, bro take off your pants and get on the bed, you got two minutes before the mood changes, you really wanna be pouting about phrasing right now?

(and then his baby mama of the week says "let's make love" and he just "haha no no, it's called fucking when we do it and nothing more, now show me your titties" because "making love" is for Hera only and he will get weirdly enraged if you keep using it after he said to stop)

[naehja]

Orias: Robin and I have decided to adopt.

Lied: I didn't knew that you were together :/

Lied: but that’s good for you-

Robin, slamming down adoption papers and a pen: it’s you, sign here

Lied: WHAT?

[hazel2468]

Okay this is apparently a Magic theory blog now. But I just gotta...

I'm talking with the wifey. About the most recent side story, the Ravnica one. And I simply MUST present my theories about Jace, Vraska, and how Norn is a fucking IDIOT.

Spoilers for March of the Machines, but it's been out for a couple of days now so. If you haven't read it yet, tough tiddies.

Okay. My Theory.

Jace is playing Norn like a fiddle, and he saved Vraska.

Jace ALWAYS has a plan. Always. He doesn't leave things to chance- he's just like that. There's precedence for him preserving his mind in the face of some altering or possessing influence (see what happened with Emrakul, where he created a little mental "safe house" for himself. Also see what happened with Vraska- little mental "safe house" for her). Jace is NOT the kind of person who would go to fight the Phyrexians, knowing he might get Compleated, and not have a plan to preserve his mind. I think that, combined with the fact that he was fucking stabbed with a sword made of fucking HALO, makes a pretty good case for Jace being more himself than Norn would want him to be.

Not to mention the whole bit where he just. Dips before Norn gives him any orders. We see in the chapter that Norn is assuming that he already knows what she wants... But we have also seen that Elesh Norn's biggest weakness is her hubris. The way she is so assured of her own rightness has consistently been her undoing. It cost her Tamiyo, Ixahel is rebellious. Even Atraxa, Norn's own daughter, is not immune to individual thought and feeling (saw art and had an existential crisis there, didn't you, Atraxa?).

So if Jace is himself, if he isn't under Norn's control as much as he should be, or even at all. If Jace is still purely JACE. What do you think this oh-so-smart-but-still-so-stupid lovesick bisexual man is going to do?

The same thing he did before. Go after his fucking girlfriend.

The entire Ravnica story, from Vraska's perspective, demonstrates that some part of her is preserved. Her mind is safe from Norn's corruption (and I am specifically calling it that because I think the idea that phyresis and Phyrexians are inherently corrupting and evil is stupid, tired, and abelist as well). She persists in there and, when she "dies", she is preserved.

So when Jace showed up, at first? Yeah- I thought Vraska was dying, and she was just giving herself the closure she needed. Getting to spend just a little more time with her beloved, even if it wasn't real.

But then shit started jumping out at me. Vraska's mind was in a place that JACE created for her. Everything seemed too real. There was a moment when Vraska experienced their kiss from Jace's perspective- how could a memory in her head do that? The way that Jace reacted to things she said (asking to make it right, a do-over, another chance)....

And then Jace telling her "this part hurts", like he KNOWS. The explosion of white light instead of what I frankly would have expected from her death, a fading into peaceful darkness.

And all of this was purely wishful thinking-

And then her fucking body vanished. Ral fucked up the oil in her, and then her body was GONE.

So, current running theory in this house?

Vraska's mind, her self, was preserved in the mental safe house that Jace made for her. Something we've seen him do in the past for himself in the face of mind-altering forces. Then, Ral fucked up the Phyrexian oil and that really took Vraska apart. But when she went down, she ACTUALLY spoke to Jace. That vision of Jace in her head was the real Jace, communicating with her while he tried to save her. And as for the flash of white light, well, bare with me here...

Halo. Jace was stabbed with a sword made of Halo, and I think its power might have given him the edge he needed to win over Norn's influence. What if he simply did the same thing to her? "This part hurts"- because Jace KNOWS what it feels like for his Phyrexian body to be flooded with Halo.

I could be wrong. I really hope I'm right. Because if WotC gives us this, saves these two, then there is HOPE for Nissa because holy FUCK if they disrespect the fucking gays again with this one... Normally I would say I find it hard to believe that anyone can build up a relationship's significance like Chandra and Nissa's has and then fuck it up, but WotC has done it once.

[robintherobiner]

Bruce Wayne is such a slut (derogitory)

Batman is such a slut (affectionate)

[tommygotwrittenoff]

okay buck would definitely be like hey eddie let's spar together and eddie would be like okay!! sparring is so much fun!! and so they would go to a gym after their shift and spar and it would be Fine for about 5 minutes. before buck realizes he's in over his head and his size is Not an advantage with eddie because eddie is able to pin him down no matter what buck does. and buck would be so horny and frustrated the entire time and eddie would be confused because I thought you could fight buck??? why are you giving up once I pin your hands down??? and buck would try to be all ha ha I guess I can't compete against a former street fighter while actively trying to hide his erection

[gensymscribes]

thinking about Sam and Ursula scavengers reign again. omg. omg....