#it's not like I have to commit hard in any direction or make the choice right now

[canisalbus]

Hope you don't feel pressure to try to make Ear canon in any AU! I love cute kid OCs and seeing what characters could be like as parents as much as anyone else but I know some people can get overly insistent that artists give their characters kids as soon as the idea comes up. That being said I do have to admit what little you've shared about how they'd be as parents sounds very heartwarming. I'm a sucker for when someone is determined to make sure a kid has it better than they did when they were young like Machete would be, and how that can sometimes help to heal pains from their own childhood. Vasco would be wonderful too of course! He may have had a better childhood but I'm sure there are things he struggled with or wished could've been different. All fun ideas, but if Ear remains as just an idea that is absolutely okay!

Aw it's okay. A tiny bit pressured but in an encouraging/inspiring way, I don't think I'm going to lose sleep over it.

It would be really interesting to see how parenthood would alter their relationship and self-image, it could potentially expand their character into unexpected directions. Ear seems like a likable pup, they'd be a fun character to develope.

On the other hand I'm fond of their dynamic as is, I think they're happy that way. It's still typical that couples are expected to want to have children and start a family, it's seen as the norm and the next logical step after getting married. I like the idea of them feeling content and complete in their relationship even if it's just the two of them, and showing that the absence of offspring doesn't make their union any less valid and committed.

[m4nspr34d]

TWENTYSOMTHIN’

Dean Winchester X M!reader

Warnings : Angst, fluff. Nothing extreme

Summary : After a few years of dating you finally bring up the topic of marriage, which you two have only briefly spoken about. Dean shows displeasure at the idea, reminding you of when you first met.

It had been months since you and Dean had spoken about where your relationship was heading for the future, something that he got angsty about when you brought it up. Marriage was a big no for him; and for a long time, you were completely with him.

Your eyes followed him as his head moved to the best of guns and roses playing, watching as he loaded the shotguns full of salt. The thought was unbearable, you couldn’t shake it no matter how hard you tried.

“What’d you do if I proposed?” He stopped, his eyes widening for a moment as his hands halted. “What?” His eyes stayed on the shotgun, his hands still. “If I proposed.” You placed the shotgun onto the table, leaning back and crossing your arms, letting him know this was the conversation you wanted to have; the one you needed to have. “Are you gonna?” His eyes lifted, his eyebrows doing the same. “Well— No.” You said, thinking for a moment. You weren’t sure if he meant at this very moment, or ever, but no seemed like a good choice for now. “It doesn’t matter then.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in surprise, watching as he disregarded you and went back to the shotgun. “No, we need to talk about this.” “No, we don’t.” “Yes, we do!” You weren’t going back and forth with him about this, so you tore the shotgun from his grasp and threw it onto the bed, sitting on the edge, having to turn your neck to face him. “What’s this even about, you said you didn’t wanna get married.” He said, a sigh; a deep bothered sigh lining his words. “That was years ago, Dean.” You softened your voice, innocence.

“You know how I feel about it, it’s dumb, the whole thing.” He grimaced at the thought, looking away from you. It wasn’t something you expected him to like, but that didn’t make it any less painful. “I don’t think so.” The tone of your voice dropped, turning you head away from Dean, both of you facing in opposite direction’s. “I’d do anything to put a ring on your finger.” His breath paused. He had never considered it, of course he couldn’t imagine his life without you, he wanted to grow old with you, but he never even saw both of you getting old.

It was silent, he was lost for words, it hurt, it hurt so bad. “Seeing you in a suit, our first dance, sitting at that table with you, eating fancy meals, all of it.” Still silence. You had no more words to say, not till he gave it the light of day, you felt like you were taking to a damn therapist. “Jesus— Will you say something!?” “What’d you want me to say?!” Truly, you had no idea. If he said yes; it’d feel like a compromise, something to shut you up. If he said no; well, you had no clue.

“You know I wanna be with you forever—“ “Then marry me.”

…

“Dean?” “I can’t, you know I can’t. But it means nothing, a ring won’t make us official, that’s our call.” His hand trailed to your’s, his finger tips rubbing against your finger; your empty, ring-less finger. You pulled away, squeezing your eyes shut. You wanted to walk away, come back and forget this conversation happened, but it was too late. You knew he wasn’t ready to commit to you, is he waiting for someone better? No.. Maybe?— No. Your thoughts were the loudest thing in the room, not your words, not his, not even the busted AC. “

“So would you say no?” Your voice was cold, blank as you shut your eyes, taking in the silence while it was there.

He inhaled sharply, biting his lip as he clenched his jaw, balling his hands into a fist. He felt like rolling over and dropping dead, this was the last thing he wanted, it had come on him so unexpectedly, like a bad cold. “Yes.” He said, finally mustering up the courage. You’re eyes squeezing shut as you felt an itch on the corner of your eyelid, followed by a tear as you steadied your prolonged inhale.

You giggled as you watched the twentysomthin’ man smirk at you, licking his teeth as your eyes locked within his. “You’re really something.” Your eyes narrowed as you spoke, chuckling. “Maybe, you like it though.” He said, a sultry tone coating his lips as the words rolled off. You don’t even know this guys name, his age, for all you know he could be some crazy bastard. “You ain’t gonna ask me my name, sweetheart.” His hand leaned against the back of the bench, wiping the snow from it, the small flakes tapping off the sleeve of his jacket. “Enlighten me.” His smirk grew, his head turning away for a moment as his tongue clicked. “Dean.”

Dean. Fitting, not sure why but— it was. 20 Minutes ago you were sitting out the back of the club, contemplating weather to spend your last few bucks on a box of cigs, but you had completely forgotten about it by the time this guy: Dean, had weaselled you down the street to the park bench in the middle of December, snow and all. “Let me guess, bartender?” You were sure you were right, that charming face was bound to get his tips up. “Not even close.” You scoffed, surprised you were wrong. “What is it then.” Your chest rose and sank with each breath, the cold air flowing towards the ever shrinking space between the two. “Cars, I fix cars.” “So a mechanic?” You said, raising your eyebrows, tilting your head. “Guess so.” You decided not to question his awfully vague answer. “And you?” He said, his eyes still fixed on you, the small white dots of frosty snow scattered around your clothes. “In between.” “In between jobs and you have time to blow your buck on a cheap bar in the middle of the city?” His voice laced with that undermining tone he’d been slipping.

Who even was this guy, really. You couldn’t wrap your head around it, something so unexpected, so— everything. “Tell me somethin’, you got a boyfriend? A husband?” He said, his eyes widening as his words trailed. “God no, never. Marriage makes me nauseous.” A chuckle followed you words, a quick glance to the marina, the snow lacing the black railing. “There has got to be a catch with you.” The tension was tight, airtight, feeling the air around you stiffen, the snow became background, your attention fixated on him, and only him.

Divider’s: @cafekitsune 💌 : Another short little fic. In complete honesty, I acc got the idea from the song twentysomthings, i’m not acc sure who sings but, oh well! But I got like, this cute little picture in my mind of Dean and whoever sitting out on a bench by the water late at night, snow everywhereee!! Super cute imo. I’ll try my best to do a longer more fleshed out fic, and eventually smut when i’m ready. 🌹

[depravitycentral]

Yandere! Kyojuro Rengoku General Profile

Yandere! Kyojuro Rengoku x fem! reader

Tw: kidnapping, stalking, violence, he breaks your fingers, Kyo feeds you bird-style and it's pretty gross and gnarly, delusions/detachment from reality, Stockholm Syndrome, masturbation, slight misogyny/traditional gender roles, forced motherhood, allusions to non-con, you and Kyo share a toothbrush ugh, lots of references to death, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

WC: 11K

DARLING PROFILE:

Caring 

Similarly to most other Hashira, Kyojuro is greatly attracted to honest, genuine kindness.

His world is so full of hatred, death, and pain, and having a darling who is softer, sweeter, more empathetic makes his heart swell.

(And, occasionally, other things will swell when he sees his darling smiling or complimenting or speaking with children - but Kyojuro pays it no mind. So you shouldn’t, either.)

There’s just something so alluring about a darling who genuinely cares for the people around them - he himself is quite positive, if not blunt, and a darling who can match his philosophy of protecting and caring for those who need it would be a perfect match.

He likes the idea of a darling who has the best intentions of others’ at heart; it’s refreshing to see and interact with someone who is so pure and wonderfully kind, because while his fellow slayers are certainly committed to a good cause, his darling is different.

They’re naturally sweet, utterly unaware of the horrors of this world and yet still striving to make others smile, still trying to help undo any wrongs those around them have experienced.

This aspect of his darling is one of the first things he notices about them, and while he’s not a selfish man by any means, he’ll grow to absolutely love when this caring nature is directed at him, particular after long, difficult missions where he’s both physically and emotionally exhausted, only desiring to hold something soft and sweet and warm.

Coincidentally, something exactly like his darling.

Passionate

The specific passion itself is inconsequential – it doesn’t matter what his darling loves, as long as they love something.

He himself is driven by internal motivation and a righteousness to help others, and while his darling doesn’t need to be quite this serious, he likes the idea of them having goals and aspirations.

The most likely way this manifests itself within his darling is through a creative platform – art, music, culinary arts, writing, or any sort of activity in which his darling can express themselves.

He likes that his darling has something they truly enjoy, and he’s the type to want to learn about and indulge in his darling’s passion.

He’ll eagerly listen to everything they have to say, absorbing the information with wide, glittering eyes and a smile, trying so very hard to listen to their words but getting repeatedly distracted by how utterly adorable they look when they’re concentrating.

He can’t stop admiring the way they look when they’re discussing their passion, how happy they become, radiating a sort of joy and glow that only makes him fall harder and deeper, his obsession solidifying with every smile they give him.

And he’ll fully foster this passion of theirs – he’s got access to any resources his darling can dream of, easily providing them and enjoying the way their face lights up, how they become so grateful.

His only caveat is that he has to watch them as they work at their passion, getting a front row seat to watch them enjoy themselves, his bright eyes fixed on them the entire time because god, how are they so utterly perfect?

It’s endearing to Kyojuro because in his mind, his darling looks at him that way, too, with a smile and undying love.

Ambitious

Now, his darling doesn’t need to be ambitious in the sense that they take huge risks, or even that they have high expectations and goals for themselves.

It can manifest this way, sure, but the main core of why he finds this personality trait attractive is because it shows drive.

He likes a darling who has a strong sense of self; he doesn’t want to change his beloved in any way; he wants to be their pillar of support, to offer unwavering help and encouragement for whatever pursuits they’re chasing after, no matter how big or small.

He thinks it’s a wonderful thing to have dreams for the future, just as he does – he dreams of Senjuro once again having a happy family (one he hopes his darling will help provide), and of all demons being eradicated so that the world can live peacefully.

He’ll cherish and respect any dreams his darling possesses, but only if they don’t interfere with what he believes should happen.

He prioritizes his relationship with his darling above many things, and this includes what his darling wants most.

He will be expecting them to dutifully become his loving partner and wife, to bear his children and help him raise them, to be a guiding, loving hand to teach them morality, charity, and all sorts of other things that his darling hardly believes he possesses.

So while he’ll likely crush the ambitions his darling possesses, the mere fact that they have ambitions is attractive to him.

Talkative

It’s not that Kyojuro can’t fall for a quieter darling, but rather that he wants someone who will match his chattiness.

He’s naturally quite loud, truly a boisterous man who loves to interact with others.

He’s constantly peppering his darling with questions, his voice a steady flow as he just talks and talks and talks, throwing compliments and them alongside grandiose declarations of love, all intermixed with small talk about the weather or the flowers on the sides of the village pathways, or even about the pretty birds flying in the sky.

He just likes interacting with his darling, and he needs someone that is willing to return his eagerness to talk.

He likes the way his darling’s attention stays on him when he’s speaking to them; how their eyes stay fixed on his form, how they nod along to his words, how they laugh at his outlandish, unbelievable claims and logic, how they just simply acknowledge him, making him feel comfortable and seen and wanted.

Kyojuro will want to spend hours talking with his darling, and he needs someone who can match this energy. He needs a darling who can pepper him with their own questions, who can keep the conversation flowing and keep the interaction alive.

Besides, Kyojuro has this unwavering, unsatiable curiosity for his beloved, one that can only be partially quelled when his darling is revealing more and more about themselves.

And he’ll eagerly listen, mentally storing away each new piece of information, remembering absolutely everything because everything about his darling is important, something that must be remembered and cherished and worshipped.

They’re just perfect, and if they’re naturally chatty, it only furthers his obsession. 

GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:

Delusional 

Generally speaking, from the moment that Kyojuro’s feelings for you fully form, he’s absolutely, utterly under the impression that every emotion, desire and draw he feels towards you is returned fully. He honestly believes that you’re just as in love as he is, that the connection he’s so acutely aware of between the both of you is mutual, that you’re just as desperate and eager to be his partner, his lover, his wife and the woman he’ll spend the rest of his life with. 

He doesn’t have any real romantic experience - he’s been attracted to women before, sure, but he’s never courted someone before you simply because when he courts, he intends to wed. 

And as a result, his only real reference for romance is his own parents’ relationship. And while it was loving, beautiful, healthy while his mother was still alive, time and his changing father have left Kyojuro with a bit of a warped view of love. 

And this is where his delusions stem from - he’s confident, desperate for you to return the passionate feelings he holds for you, and he manages to convince himself of your growing love for him every day. 

He’s so sure, in fact, that even as his obsession with you forms (slowly, as he’s a bit picky about partners and can be a bit oblivious even towards his own feelings), so do the beginnings of his detachment from reality. As he slowly begins realizing that he enjoys being in your presence more than most other people, your smiles and greetings of oh hello Rengoku, I didn’t know you’d be here will seem more and more like you expressing your glee at having him by your side rather than a simple, platonic welcome. 

As he realizes that hearing you laugh makes his palms sweat and his heart race, he begins thinking your laugh is really for him, that your chuckles are stronger when they’re directed at him than compared to others. 

He’s imagining your pretty face lighting up with that radiant smile behind closed eyes when he’s falling asleep at night, and slowly he begins concluding that your every quirk of the lip towards him must mean that you’re happy with him, that his presence alone fills you with a sort of joy that you simply can’t hide. 

(And, perhaps you know that it’s you that fills his thoughts at night – maybe you’re purposefully plaguing his thoughts, trying to tell him something - perhaps you want him to think of you and your lovely mouth, the way your lips look when you say his name, how your tongue flicks out to wet them just so…) 

It’s mostly innocent in the beginning; his delusions manifest more as simply misreading the signals you send him, honest mistakes that aren’t too uncommon – but, as the relationship (or, at least the one Kyojuro is trying so very hard cultivate) progresses, these slips in judgment become more and more profound, more and more difficult to ignore. 

When he’s wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest as he inhales deeply and enthusiastically greets you in a voice just a bit too breathy for your liking, Kyojuro sees your discreet attempts at ending the far-too-long hug as you merely trying to get comfortable. 

Surely you just want to feel more of his body against your own, or want him to be closer so that there’s nothing separating you from him, from the love he’s oh so willing to give you. 

When you bite your lip and avert your gaze as you politely ask him to stop staring at you so much and following you home, Kyojuro will simply smile, placing a hand on your shoulder and giving you a firm don’t worry, I don’t mind protecting you! It’s my place as a Hashira, after all, so don’t needlessly fret! 

He honestly doesn’t understand why you’re not as happy as he is, and frankly he can’t even really fathom the idea that you aren’t happy – how can he, when he’s been searching for so many years for a partner to love and spoil? 

How can he, when your body just seems to perfectly fit against his own, your voice like honey and your name a drug as it slips from his lips? 

How can he, when he’s seen his father so harshly decline, when the memory of his mother is still so fresh, when he wants so badly to build a family of his own, to give Senjuro another family to call his?

How can he, when you become the sole reason he begins valuing his own life during missions, not being as reckless because he needs to come home to you - you need your lover and husband, of course.

(In more ways than one - who will protect you? Provide for you? Pleasure you?) 

Kyojuro honestly latches onto you, his every thought and emotion revolving around you you you, to the point where even once he’s locked you away, deep inside the Rengoku residence with your shared bed and lovely, expensive new kimonos neatly folded in stacks upon stacks (all in shades of reds and golds, of course, to signify your status with him), he still won’t recognize that you’re always crying because you’re scared. 

He won’t realizethat you flinch when he touches you because you don’t want him anywhere near you. 

He won’t connect the dots that you spend each and every night curled up in a ball weeping because you just want to go home, please Kyojuro, please… 

Try as he may, he just can’t fathom that you aren’t as madly, desperately in love – so don’t bother, really, because it’s much more hassle than it’s worth, and in the end he’ll get what he wants. He always will get what he wants, so why don’t you just give in? 

He’ll never let you go, never believe any of your pleas to be freed from him, so why don’t you just accept his love? 

Protective 

Honestly, your personal combat abilities are irrelevant - in Kyojuro’s mind, you’re weak. Defenseless. Laughably unable to keep yourself safe and out of trouble - incapable, even, though it sounds a bit harsh.

He believes that you’re too fragile and sweet and wonderful to be anywhere near a demon, a human with bad intentions, or anything of the sort.

Your strengths lie not in battle, but in your charm and beauty - you’re so sweet, your words melting him like butter and leaving him as putty in your hands, his heart doing backflips in his chest as his fingers twitch to do anything and everything just to keep you smiling.

Your talents lie in the way you effortlessly intrigue him; your words ensnaring his attention no matter the topic, your touch sending electricity up his spine, even your most mundane actions making him stop and stare because every little thing you do is important.

You simply aren’t made for the battlefield, or for confrontation in general - he’s sure of it, and he’s arguably the most trustworthy source of judgment you could find. He’s a seasoned Hashira, seen more death than you can imagine, slaughtered more demons than you can count, so could he really be wrong in his assessment of your abilities?

He sees you as a bit of a baby, in all honesty, because while he’s more than aware of your womanly charms (the not so subtle way his eyes rake over your figure when he forces you to bathe with him is enough to convince you of that, if the way his hands ghost over the bulge of his trousers when you speak to him wasn’t enough), he still can’t shake the paranoia that you’ll one day be hurt.

He’s terrified that you can’t really take care of yourself as well as he can. And frankly, the paranoia isn’t unfounded – it’s difficult to fault him for his overprotectiveness when you think of his past, how often he sees death, and how often he’s the cause of it.

He’s too accustomed to seeing others’ lives lost, and he absolutely refuses to allow you the same fate, so long as he’s breathing and has enough finger strength to grip his sword and send air rushing through his lungs.

He’s determined to a disturbing degree to keep you safe; with every demon he decapitates, internally he’s sighing in relief because that’s one less monster that could potentially sink their claws into you - every demon dead is a step towards keeping you safe, healthy, alive, his.

He’s patronizing in an odd way, because while he doubts your capabilities, he doesn’t treat you like you’re a child. He’s just hovering, always, with his eyes glued to you and that same unnerving, wide smile on his lips that never seems to go away when you’re around him.

His gaze is wide and excited as he sees how you bring the bowl of soup to your lips to sip, the intensity of the way he watches making your hands tremble and a bit of the hot soup spill down to your chest.

He’ll let you feed yourself - for now - but as soon as you flinch, the heat and wetness making you cringe as you get up to clean yourself, he’s on you – a flash of yellow and red as he tut-tuts and uses the sleeve of his haori to wipe up the mess, a thumb against your lip and his face much too close to yours as he tells you to be careful, don’t hurt yourself, my flame.

He’s not letting you touch anything with sharp edges, for fear that you’ll trip and cut yourself, nor does he allow you permission to speak to anyone new that he hasn’t already extensively vetted in his own way.

(This comprises mostly of just simply observing someone, and the moment he sees something even slightly unfavorable - like a snarky comment or even having their hair be messy - he’s deciding that they’re not good enough to interact with you - you’re better than them, and speaking with them would only taint you, bringing you down from the pedestal he places you on.)

 He’s controlling, not allowing anyone into your life that isn’t himself, to the point that he’ll simply show up the second another man or woman begins speaking with you, a strong arm around your waist with fingers digging in much harsher than they should, that familiar smile tight on his lips.

He’s terrified that he’ll one day lose you, and in a lot of ways keeping you safe is his own way of living up to the expectations of his mother.

You’re weak, so damn weak, and you need someone to care for you, to be there for you and take care of you in your time of need, and Kyojuro is more than happy to take on the role, to take responsibility of your life and safety.

It’s a bit overwhelming, how he’s always offering to do tasks for you, interrupting you halfway through to take over with that broad grin of his, that laugh and a rambunctious what kind of lover would I be if I didn’t carry your groceries for you making it difficult to stop him.

And really, eventually you’ll get to the point of relenting and letting him to do as he pleases, because as much as the man may intimidate you, scare you or disturb you, there’s just something about his desperation to please you that’ll get you feeling oddly flattered, flustered simply because of the lengths he’s willing to go.

Because really, while it may scare you how his hand always seems to find a place at your hip, don’t all the stories and movies have chivalrous male leads helping guide the girl through crowded areas, a steady hand to help keep them grounded, just as Kyojuro does?

Sure, it’s weird how he knows the order from every restaurant in town that you like, how he’s always able to show up at just the right time with a steaming bowl of udon or whatever you’re feeling, but doesn’t it feel nice to be cared for, that he thought of you and made the stop to buy you something?

It may be disturbing how he gulps and smiles wider every time he sees you bend over, but isn’t it flattering to know that he finds your body attractive?

He won’t allow you to place a finger on anything or anyone that could hurt you, so you’d better get used to the life of a pampered housewife – because while it will take him a long while to allow you to cook with any sort of heat, there’s something oddly therapeutic about being your big, strong partner that provides for you, while you keep his bed and heart warm, all with that natural charm he finds so alluring. 

Clingy

Because Kyojuro’s perceptions of your relationship aren’t exactly realistic, he’ll come off as extremely, extremely needy to you. But it’s in a strange way – he’s not constantly clinging onto you, needing your reassurance and needing your eyes to stay focused entirely on him.

(He certainly won’t discourage this kind of behavior, of course, but he isn’t that outwardly desperate, and he isn’t the type to physically grasp your chin to keep you looking at him. He’ll perhaps grasp your hand or your waist to keep you at his hip, but he’s not quite that blatant.)

Instead, his clinginess manifests in how he’s simply always around you.

His presence will become a constant in your life – you’d be hard pressed to not see those familiar blond and red locks in your peripheral, or to hear that booming voice ringing in your ears. It would be difficult to find yourself in a public situation where Kyojuro isn’t standing diligently at your side, that blinding smile spread across his face, turning just a bit softer and a bit more earnest when it’s aimed at you.

Really, he simply hates being away from you. Not having you within his sight makes him nervous, anxiety itching at his stomach because where are you?

It’s not possessiveness, not a paranoia that you could be talking to other men, but rather an honest, genuine, horrible fear that you could be hurt, that someone could’ve taken you and injured you and touched you and possibly even have killed you.

And frankly, the fear isn’t too unfounded – you’ll understand why he's always rushing to you, literally running to catch up with you when you wander away from him, a steady hand pressing into your back as he pulls you into a hug, the faint smell of woodsmoke and musk filling your nose as the hard planes of his chest press against you.

It’s understandable, so you won’t really wonder why he’s always insisting on accompanying you every free moment he has, his presence acting as your shadow but much, much louder. It might make you uncomfortable, sure, because having someone always by your side is a little disorienting and overwhelming at times, but you’ll tolerate it – how can you tell Kyojuro no, anyway?

He’s so radiant when he’s giving you that smile, his eyes sparkling and his hands soft and gentle as he grasps onto yours, telling you that he’s so excited, we must try the new ramen shop down the street! I’ll order your favorite, you needn’t remind me what it is! I think we should share one, and perhaps a second or third…

(It’s probably not worth mentioning to him that you never even told him what your favorite is, he just seemed to know it, a fact that initially unnerved you, but you’ve found that guessing what you’ll like seems to be a talent of his. It’s not, of course, because he’s spent hours talking with any family members or friends of yours to learn every possible scrap of information about you that he can, introducing himself as your fiancé and charming them enough to get even the most sensitive secrets out of them, including your menstrual patterns, your bathing routine, even your temperament as a child because he’s convinced it will give him insight into the temperaments of your future – and inevitable – children together.)

You’ll disregard his penchant for always staying by your side in the beginning, but as time progresses it’ll become more difficult to let his behavior roll off your back.

Accompanying you to the market is fine, but you’ll bite your lip and find the courage to speak up when he ends up straying a good five feet behind you, his bright eyes burning holes into the back of your head as he keeps pace with you.

(When you turn around to ask him why he’s not walking with you, but rather trailing behind you like some sort of stalker, he’ll just laugh and tell you in that familiar, boisterous voice that he can protect you better this way! Besides, the view from this angle is excellent! Dissecting that last comment will only make you more uncomfortable, so you simply nod and keep walking, picking up your pace and desperately wishes you’d be arriving sooner.)

Him wanting to meet all your friends and acquaintances is fine, but when he’s pushing his way into the conversation and snaking an arm around your waist, you’ll feel just as awkward as your companions, disturbed by the casual manner with which Kyojuro handles you.

(This almost always leads to the assumption that the two of you are together, which you’ll frantically shake your head to, spouting some nonsense about being just friends that makes Kyojuro’s brows cock inwards, sending a glance at you with quizzical eyes. Just friends? You are certainly friends, but you’re more than that – friends don’t daydream about each other, and friends certainly don’t spend nights with ragged breaths, bucking hips, and the other’s name slipping from their lips like a prayer.)

He’s just a lot, and while you knew this from the beginning, time will only increase his behavior, pushing him more and more into spending time with you, into writing you letters while he’s away on a mission (they’re mostly detailing how much he misses you, telling you of each object and person that reminded him of you, and while it would be sweet, the sheer volume and frequency of these letters will make you loathed to open them), even into pushing past your boundaries and being much, much too familiar with you.

(You’ll bid him goodnight after he’s walked you home from the meal he insisted you share, but he doesn’t seem to get the hint and instead waltzes straight into your modest home, settling himself at your tableside and beaming at you, telling you to join me, my flame, I wish to hear about your deepest desires! He won’t insist on staying the night, as that would be too inappropriate for a not yet married couple – which he seems to be insinuating the two of you are – and will eventually take his leave, but not before gently grabbing your hand and pressing a kiss against your knuckles that’s much, much too wet, and far too long.)

His clinginess can be suffocating, of course, but once you’re stuck with him, forced to live in the Rengoku estate and call him your husband?

Well, if you thought he was needy before, it’s nothing compared to the way he treats you then – constantly wandering hands (concentrated mostly at your waist, hips, and squeezing your thighs), compliments that toe the line between heartfelt and disturbing (you are so very beautiful, particularly when you’re asleep – did you know that you smell a certain way when you’re unconscious? It’s sweet, like ripe fruit; I wish to smell it at all times), and those eyes always, always focused on you.

Every free moment he has goes into attending to you, whether you want it or not, so don’t even bother trying to get some distance from the Flame Pillar.

He will invade your space and he will not be regretful, his delusions most often barring him from even realizing that you’re uncomfortable.  

He’s simply a man who ardently admires and desires you, and at the end of the day, you can’t even really blame him. Because, as they say, love makes one do crazy things, and he’s certainly, certainly in love with you.

DEALING WITH RIVALS:

When it comes to jealousy, Kyojuro is surprisingly relatively unaffected, all things considered.

He’s not someone who’s biting at your heels the moment another man spares you a glance, and while he obviously doesn’t like the way other men interact with you, he’s not nearly as suffocating regarding his possessiveness as some of his fellow Hashira.

He tends to give others the benefit of the doubt, and while he’s still very protective over you and would immediately step in if another man posed a threat to your safety or comfort, he doesn’t automatically assume that any man who interacts with you has nefarious intent.

And so, he doesn’t immediately grow jealous and snarl at any man stupid enough to come within a few feet of you – he’s not as depraved, at least in that sense.

(In others, absolutely, but if Kyojuro has one redeeming quality, it’s his judgement of character.)

However, this isn’t because of some moral high ground the Pillar possesses, or a firm sense of lucidity – in fact, it’s quite the opposite, as his delusions drive most of his indifference regarding other men giving you attention.

He’s so, so confident in the idea that you’re meant for one another that he honestly doesn’t even register that you could interested in another man, that you could be stolen away from him willingly, that you could fall in love with anyone but the Flame Hashira himself.

He just doesn’t get it, and so he isn’t as suffocating as he could be in these situations – no, not by a long shot, something you’re admittedly equal parts lucky and unlucky for.

Because really, while you won’t have to deal with the isolation that comes with extreme levels of possessiveness, being Kyojuro’s darling is certainly not an easy ride – how can it be, when he’s so blatantly unaware of the signs in front of him that a man is coming on to you, that he’s smiling and flirting with you and reaching out to brush the hair away from your eyes while you bashfully grin and laugh at his lame jokes?

How can you not be unsettled with the way he’s so unaffected, always spouting nonsense about how in love you two are, how perfect of a match you are, how no man would ever dare take you away from me – how could anyone break such a real bond of love?

It’s disturbing, and as time passes slowly you’ll come to realize that while he won’t drag you kicking and screaming away from another man trying to get more than familiar with you, the alternative of watching him broadcast what he perceives to be your ‘relationship’ to every stranger who makes eye contact with you will get old very quickly, the feeling of him almost trying to show you off making your skin crawl and a cold sweat break out over your hairline.

Kyojuro isn’t subtle, not in the least, which is why the minute another man approaches you, you should be ready – the embarrassment will be thick, as will the discomfort of everyone involved (except the Hashira himself, of course).

So you might as well stop trying to converse with other people – after all, Kyojuro has no problem acting on his intuition, so won’t you just not give him a reason to be so extravagant? 

The moment the man in the small market stall shoots you a shy smile and approaches you, there’s already a sinking feeling settling in your gut, the knowledge that your self-proclaimed ‘lover’ is only a few stalls down making you bite your lip in anxiety.

He’s polite, by all accounts – full lips a pleasant pink color ask you about your opinion on the newest shipment of melons, the fruit laid out in front of you in a pleasing display. There’s a respectful distance of a few feet between your bodies, and his voice is soft, calming, the complete opposite of the boisterous, loud slayer you’ve come to be so close with. It’s refreshing, and you shoot him a smile as well as you point to a certain melon on the display.

This one looks ripe – you can tell, you know, by the markings on the fruit. The more yellow spots, the better the texture will be.

The man’s still looking at you, but his gaze shifts to the fruit as he nods in agreement. He laughs a bit, then reaches out to pick up the melon. I’ll trust your advice, then.

 The interaction is somewhat short, sweet and innocent, and though you get the feeling that the man finds you attractive (the light blush on his cheeks tells you as much), you don’t feel particularly uncomfortable.

But all too soon the peace of the moment is ending, and a familiar call of your name has your spine stiffening, your throat bobbing as you heavily swallow. The call comes again, and all too soon there’s an unfortunately familiar hand settling on your waist, Kyojuro’s muscular arm wrapping around your body and pulling you flush against his side.

Being so close in public would normally embarrass you, but you can’t find it in yourself to care when you know what’s coming.

My flame, who is this? A friend of yours? Kyojuro asks, and before you can open your mouth to answer, the stranger does.

Oh, um, I’m Takeru.

He’s visibly uncomfortable, and as you try to subtly squirm out of the slayer’s grasp, Kyojuro’s smile only widens.

He nods his head lightly, his smile growing even brighter. A pleasure to meet you, Takeru! I am Kyojuro Rengoku, thank you for helping keep her safe at this busy market place!

The man – Takeru – shifts awkwardly, unsure how to respond to such a strange comment, but it doesn’t seem to stop your unwanted companion.

You see, she has such a habit of wandering away in crowded places, and it makes it hard to keep an eye on her! You’d be amazed at how often I’ve seen her trip and fall in places like these!

 He laughs at that, and you feel a new kind of embarrassment eat away at you. Does he really need to be sharing all this information?

Yes, it’s very crowded, Takeru agrees, and you silently send him a pleading look. He blinks at you, discomfort clearly swimming in the black depths of his dark eyes, and internally you beg Kyojuro to just drag you both away from the stranger.

She can be so forgetful, but that’s the wonderful thing about love! Despite her clumsiness, she is still graceful and elegant to me, and that’s a sign of true love, wouldn’t you agree?

Takeru nods, hesitantly, and you grit your teeth.

Kyojuro sighs dreamily from beside you, squeezing you even tighter against his side. And I do love her, of course! She is my soulmate, the future mother of my children, and every time I gaze at her, my devotion only grows deeper!

You’re visibly embarrassed now, trying to cover your face and desperately willing the interaction to just be over, but Kyojuro doesn’t seem to hear your silent prayers.

He grabs your wrist gently, his lips pressing kisses against the inside of your wrist, and immediately you’re eyes grow wide. Surely he wouldn’t, not in a public setting –

He cuts your thoughts off with a press of his lips against yours, the groan that he releases against you making you shiver in anything but pleasure. Your eyes are still open, and you see Takeru staring with a dropped jaw, evidently shocked at Kyojuro’s blatant display of affection.

Your brows furrow, and as he slips his tongue past your lips, you find yourself only able to focus on the way Kyojuro is growing louder, his groans getting more pronounced as the kiss grows hungrier, more desperate, feeling less like a tender, heartfelt sign of love.

After a good two minutes he finally pulls away, your lips feeling sticky and wet from his saliva. He stares down at you with heady eyes, his tongue licking his lips as he whispers your name under his breath.

You go to say his name, to ask him if you can just leave the market, but he cuts you off with a laugh.

Oh my flame, where did Takeru go? We must have scared him off with our display of passion! My sincere hopes that he’ll one day find a love like ours.

You very much don’t wish that, but as Kyojuro grasps your hand and guides you to the edge of the market place, passing through the spot Takeru had departed from during your sudden and overtly steamy kiss, you’ll find yourself sighing.

The blatant act of romance was unwarranted and unwanted, of course, but somehow your lips are tingling, your heart racing in shamefulness and something else – something that grows stronger and Kyojuro turns to look back at you, a grin stretching across his lips, his cheeks tinted pink as he gazes at you.

It’s wrong and you’ll hate it, every part of you screaming to not be fooled by the boyish look he’s giving you; he’s a slayer, a grown man who very clearly doesn’t understand that you are not future spouses, that you are not in love.

You’ll hate yourself for it, but even as he leads you back to your home, guiding you and not letting your hand go the whole way (even though you you’re very familiar with the route and don’t need his navigational help), you’ll find yourself almost, almost wishing he’d kiss you again – just not in front of a stranger this time.

TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:

Because he’s on the more delusional side, Kyojuro’s view of your relationship is warped.

He’s already eager in the context of romantic relationships, but in yours, specifically, he’s rushing through all the steps, too excited to get that gold ring on your finger and his last name replacing yours to really take his time with you.

And this becomes problematic particularly because you will have no idea, at least at first, that the Flame Hashira believes you’re courting one another, that it’s simply a matter of time before you’re keeping his bed warm and nursing his children.

And because of this quick timeline of your relationship, Kyojuro is actually quite quick to propose living together. Of course, it’s a bit taboo to be living under the same roof before you’re wed, but he’s willing to bend the traditional rules a bit if you put up any sort of opposition.

If you decline his blatant requests to live with him, he won’t relent. Initially, he’ll bluntly ask you in the middle of a shared meal if you’d like to move your belongings into the Rengoku mansion - I can have a few servants come to assist in the moving process, if you’d like, and of course I’ll be there to help carry anything heavy!

When you stare at him like he’s grown two heads, he’ll be a little confused, and curiously asks you why you seem to be shocked.

When you honestly respond, at a loss as to why he’s asking you to live with him when you’re very, very firmly just friends, Kyojuro will only laugh in response, his hand coming down to slap his knee because oh, you’re so funny, you sweet, coy little thing.

He’ll drop the subject that day, moving on to ask you about your thoughts about the weather or your favorite color or anything at all, greedy to hear your voice and bask in your attention.

But the next day, when he suddenly pops out of nowhere and accompanies you on your walk into town to buy a few necessities, the question is prompted once more.

I only have two separate futons, but I’m sure we could push them together! Similarly, I only have two blankets, but I’m sure my body heat will keep you warm!

You’ll be confused, giving yourself just a hair more distance between your bodies (he’d gotten very close without you noticing), throwing him a glance and worryingly asking what are you talking about?

He’s so nonchalant when he answers our sleeping arrangements, of course that it makes you wonder if you’ve missed something, if you’re somehow not in the loop because when the fuck did you agree to sleep in the same room as him, much less in such a position where you could feel his body heat?

You’ll negate his questions and try to change the topic once more, but Kyojuro is relentless - everyday there will be a new question of when you’ll inevitably be living together, and with every day he gets more and more restless to finally have you in his arms as he sleeps, to come home to you after long missions, to relish in the sight of you peacefully reading or crafting in the morning sun, wearing his clothing and smelling like him.

He’s a patient man, yes, but even Kyojuro has his limits - and he finally reaches this limit when one day he can’t seem to find you anywhere.

It’s like you’ve disappeared off the face of the Earth - he’d wanted to spend some time with you (really, he’d just finished his allotted training for the day and had been idly daydreaming about holding your hand the whole time, and was now in desperate need of finding you to intertwine your fingers with his), but your home was empty and none of your neighbors seemed to remember seeing you leave.

Immediately worry is eating away at him, because his sole job as your future lover and husband is to keep tabs on you and protect you, and he’d been too busy focusing on himself and getting stronger to fulfill his duty.

He searches for you in all the common spots he knows you visit, and with each empty location his desperation gets a bit more extreme, his panic slowly engulfing him because where the fuck could you be?

Eventually he’s sprinting around the general area you reside in, running mile after mile as his smile slips away and his entire body grows sweaty, his heart racing and even a few tears threatening to well in his eyes because he can’t stomach the thought that you’ve been hurt somehow, that someone has stolen you, that you’re simply gone.

It’s not until the evening that he eventually stumbles upon you, your pretty kimono stained with a bit of dirt as the bottom hem and your shoulders a bit slumped from the heavy bag slung over them, your limbs aching from the long journey it’d taken to visit a friend a few villages over.

He happens to run by you along the path, and immediately he’s stopping and staring, his chest visibly heaving, his eyes wide and vulnerable as he blinks, pinching himself to make sure this is real, that you’re really standing in front of him, that you haven’t been devoured like he’d been imagining.

But all too soon he’s rushing forward, the wind knocked out of your lungs as he tackles you to the ground, clutching you against his chest as he bombards you with questions, slurred and rushed as he asks if you’re okay, are you hurt? Where were you? Why didn’t you tell me you’d be gone today? Did you speak to anyone? Did anyone touch you? Were you scared without me?

He’s speaking so quickly and loudly into your ear that you can’t even get a response in, his voice slightly uneven and betraying the influx of emotion swimming through his chest. He’ll pull back to gaze at you, thumbs brushing over your cheek, before smiling softly and pressing a soft, long kiss to your forehead, whispering to you that you’ll be safe now, my love, forever.

Then it all goes black, and you wake up dressed in a much too nice kimono, sleeping in an ornate room in a futon you don’t recognize, familiar eyes trained on your form as his seated figure watches you slowly wake up beside him. 

As a captor, Kyojuro is mostly just suffocating.

Because he still heavily believes in the delusions he’s been nursing since the beginning of his infatuation with you, he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s done. He doesn’t see his relocation of you as kidnapping, nor does he understand why you seem so unhappy to be with him.

It was inevitable that you’d be sharing the same home and bed, didn’t you know?

Why do you seem so surprised when he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you flush against his body, spooning you and sighing your name into your ear with just a bit too much reverence?

Why are you flinching away from him when he pulls you close for a kiss, his calloused fingers gently grasping your chin as he whispers between wet, loud kisses that he loves you, that he’s more in love with you than you could possibly imagine, my flame, you are my light in eternal darkness.

He’s sappy and too much and always hovering around you, his presence smothering you in every sense of the word. He’s clingy and needy, always wanting to be watching you and simply observe you, because even though he now spends nearly every hour of every day he has off in your presence, everything you do is still special to him, interesting and wonderful and important, and he has no sense of boundaries.

He will be standing close to you, practically breathing down your neck. He will ask you all sorts of personal questions, ranging from things like your greatest fears and most embarrassing moments to your menstrual cycle and which spots feel best when you’re touching yourself to the thought of him.

(He assumes you must pleasure yourself while thinking of him, because he does, too, religiously, every night, your pretty face and voice and body at the forefront of his thoughts as he paints his fist white over and over and over.)

He doesn’t see any reason why there should be any sort of barriers between the two of you, because you’re soulmates - made for one another, destined to spend your lives together, your fates irrefutably intertwined and brought together by the unyielding, passionate love you possess for one another.

And, unfortunately, this lack of barriers manifests itself in some pretty undesirable ways - you’ll be sharing one singular toothbrush, for example, Kyojuro insisting that it’s romantic and sweet and becoming of a young couple to share everything with one another, even their saliva.

He’s having the two of you share undergarments; they’re all made of soft, smooth cloth, in a variety of neutral colors that he’ll wear for the day, then shuffle up your legs the next day, smiling and licking his lips because the fabric that spent all day pressed up against him is now pressed up against you.

(And, on days where you’re particularly unlucky, sometimes Kyojuro lets his thoughts run a bit wild once he’s wearing them, his eyes fluttering closed as he imagines you and subtly ruts against his palm as he waits for nightfall in the small village his next mission is in, the time passing slowly until he’s gasping your name and staining the undergarment with wet warmth, already giddy and excited to have you wear them tomorrow, unwashed.)

He’ll even sometimes share food - and not in a sweet, romantic way, but rather in a raw, connected way; he’ll take a bit of food and chew it, then press his lips against yours and push it into your mouth, encouraging you to chew as well, before eventually kissing you once more and swallowing it all himself, his grin nearly blinding because now he’s eaten both the meal and you, or at least a bit of your spit.

He’s just weird, and while he’s constantly showering you in compliments and spoiling you with anything and everything under the sun, it’ll be hard to adjust to this new, strange lifestyle simply because he doesn’t really allow you time to adjust.

He’s expecting everything to be sunshine and roses from the moment you wake up as a freshly kidnapped darling, his expectations high that you’ll be pliant and willing and happy to learn that you’re finally, finally together.

And while it takes a lot of disobedience from you to snap him out of his rose colored view of you, Kyojuro is doing everything in his power to make sure that your relationship is perfect, that he’s taking good care of you and loving you as he should.

Which leads to another important aspect of being his darling - he doesn’t see women is inferior in any way (Shinobu and Mitsuri alone have dispelled that image), but he likes the idea of you being his housewife, fulfilling traditionally feminine duties.

He likes the idea of you taking care of the home, making sure dinner is cooked and served for him in the evening (he’ll often send a crow your way when he’s heading home after missions, just so that you can prepare for his arrival - normally, this means a meal and very little clothing adorning your frame, so that he can feast on your delicious food and then your delicious body), and attending to his every need as he does you.

He likes the idea of you keeping the mansion clean and eagerly awaiting his return home when he’s away, your devotion to him keeping you motivated to make sure everything is perfectly in order for him.

He’s trying for children very, very early on, his thrusts slow, deep and meaningful as he kisses you and promises that this will finally be the load that takes, because the mere idea of you swollen with his child and needing his help to do things even as simple as sitting down makes him giddy and unbearably excited.

And he doesn’t want just one child - oh no, he wants many, as many as you’re willing to give him.

He wants the perfect family with you, and as your captor, he won’t try to hide this wish. You will be made aware that he wants you to dote on him, that he wants you to spread your legs and conceive his child, that he wants you you you.

(He’s discussing potential names with you within the first week of having kidnapped you, his fingers idly tracing over your stomach as he tells you that the first born must be named Shinjuro, then perhaps we’ll have a daughter, and she can be named Hana! But we must also have some named Takeru, Ucharo, Nakagome, Watabe, and of course Shigeru! And after that, if you have any names in mind, we can surely name the following children them!)

 Kyojuro isn’t necessarily bad, per se, as he does genuinely spoil you and give you all the time and attention and physical affection he can, but you’ll feel weighed down, crushed, drowning in the way he always seems to take and take from you.

But eventually, you will grow dependent on him - how can you not? He’s still so sweet with all the compliments he gives you (a little deranged, perhaps, but the sentiment is there), the reverence in his eyes when he gazes at you, the gentleness and eagerness in his touch when he has his hands on you.

He’s complicated, yes, but life with him will be so very simple - just bend to his whims, and perhaps you’ll even enjoy the way he hugs you so tightly it nearly hurts, or how he limits the number of servants who are allowed to speak with you - he just loves you, and is it so wrong to enjoy being loved?

PUNISHMENTS:

As his darling, you’re somewhat lucky that Kyojuro is as delusional as he is, if only because it keeps him mostly blind to any misbehavior and attitude you can throw at him.

Of course, he has his limits, but in general he’s able to write off any snarky comments of yours or slight attempts to put distance between the two of you as you simply you trying to be funny, barking out a laugh and moving even closer to you, pressing into your space even more, making sure there’s not an inch of space between your bodies.

Or, sometimes, he interprets your very blatant rebellions against him as you simply trying to test his resolve – he thinks you’re trying to force him into showing just how deeply he loves you, as if you’re testing just how strong his feelings for you are.

And while he finds this just the slightest bit offensive (you’re doubting his love for you – his passion for you; can you not tell that his heart beats only for you? Can you not see that alongside his duty to the Corp, you’re the reason he breaths, the reason he wakes up in the morning, the reason he’s alive?), it mostly serves as motivation for him to love you harder, to become more expressive with his feelings.

It pushes him to hug you tighter, his fingers nearly leaving bruises with the strength of his grip around you, the hugs going much longer and getting more intimate, if the brush of something big and hard against your thigh is any indication.

It pushes him to compliment you more, the words falling from his lips with such conviction that it’ll almost make you flustered, if the content wasn’t so unnerving.

(There’s lots of you are so beautiful, my flame, but there’s also a lot of you look so peaceful in your sleep, it makes me want to lock you away forever and keep you mine and deep inhales followed by your scent sets me on fire, my love, you don’t know what you do to me.)

He views most of your rebellions as simply you trying to catch his attention, perhaps being a sign that you feel you’re being neglected by all the missions he must leave you and attend to.

And frankly, Kyojuro doesn’t blame you – he wishes he could give you more attention too, because although he feels his job is wildly fulfilling and the morally correct thing to do, a more selfish part of his heart yearns to spend his days with you in his hands instead of his sword, your body curled up against his while he keeps you warm and tells you how deeply he loves you.

And because of all the different avenues he employs to simply disregard any negative behavior from you, punishments with Kyojuro are extremely rare. It takes quite a bit to push him into reality for even a brief moment, to force him to come face to face with the fact that you aren’t happy and that you don’t love him.

He only has a few triggers that can be powerful enough to force him into this mindset – you harming yourself, and you attempting to escape.

When you injure yourself, it’s difficult to rationalize why you would have done that, but he’s normally able to scold you (with condescending words and tone, that same smile stretched across his lips), telling you to be more careful and let me prepare your bath next time, all burns from hot water must be avoided in the future! But you trying to escape is not so easy to twist into a pleasing fantasy of his.

It’s much harder to understand why you’re ceaselessly trying to break open the windows of the estate, to the point where your knuckles bleed and your elbows bruise. It’s harder to understand why you try to work at the lock keeping the main doors sealed, your poor fingernails splitting and aching from all the tugging and pulling.

He’s not sure why you’re going through so much trouble – surely there must be easier ways to get his attention. Surely there must be less painful and pitiful methods to get him fawning over you and proving his dedication to you – so why aren’t you taking them? Why are you choosing this difficult path, one that makes him apprehensive to leave you alone for more than thirty seconds?

(Not that that’s the only reason he’s hesitant to leave you alone – his clinginess and desire for your physical touch is the bulk majority – but it’s still a major player.)

And when he asks you, with his arms wrapped around your abdomen, your own arms flailing and your legs kicking at anything you can reach, your answer will have him pausing for a moment, an unwelcome feeling of reality washing back over him.

Because I hate being here, I want to go home! Please, let me go home!

His spine goes straight at that, his eyes widening ever so slightly, your punches and kicks to his shoulders and thighs doing nothing to faze him. You want… to go home? But aren’t you already home, by his side?

His grip tightens on you, a sort of displeased hum ringing in your ears. He’s carrying you away from the front doors and down the convoluted hallways of the estate, his grip on you never weakening.

Your words repeat over and over in his head, each replay confusing him more and more. You aren’t happy being here? With him? He bites his lip, bright eyes glancing down at you in his arms, with big tears slipping down your cheeks and your shoulders shaking with poorly concealed sobs.

This doesn’t seem like an attempt at gaining his attention – why would you go through such lengths? In all his time of falling in love with you, he’s never known you to be such a good actor.

Your tears look real, as does the sound of your voice when you whisper his name and weakly pound your fist against his chest, begging him to let me go home, I can’t be here any longer, I can’t stand it!

He sets you down onto the bed of the bedroom he’s brought you into – the bedroom where he forces you to sleep beside him, your nightclothes sticking to your skin with the heat that radiates from his body and the sheer proximity his forced cuddling creates.

He’ll watch as you scramble away from him, curling your knees to your chest and looking up at him with such raw, pained eyes, and for a moment it makes Kyojuro’s heart clench, genuine regret rushing through him.

Has he made you this upset? Is he the reason for your anguish? It makes something heavy and uncomfortable settle into his chest, and it’s that driving force that pushes him to come closer to you, matching your every scoot away from him with a step towards you.

Eventually your back hits the wall and he kneels before you, his face mere inches from your own.

Tell me, my flame, why are you so displeased?

 His question makes you gulp, but before you can stop yourself your mouth is already moving, every repressed thought and emotion you’ve felt the last few weeks you’ve been stuck with him finally coming to light.

Because you’re a monster! You’ve kidnapped me and forced me into being your wife, and you have the audacity to ask me why I’m upset? I can’t stay with you, Kyojuro, not here, not anywhere! We aren’t in love – you’re mistaken, I don’t love you and whatever this is, it’s not love, so don’t tell me you love me! Please, just let me return to my home and family, I beg of you.

You cut yourself off with a small sob, and as your eyes flutter closed for a brief moment, your blood runs cold when they reopen.

You’ve never seen Kyojuro look like this – gone is that familiar grin of his, instead replaced with a harsh, straight, tight lipped expression. His eyes no longer hold any of the warmth and adoration he normally gazes at you with – rather, they seem unbearably cold, the heavy weight of his stare making you shrink in on yourself despite your rather brave speech. And something about his presence feels much larger than you’ve ever experienced it – it’s in this moment that you realize just how defined and huge the muscles he’s sporting across his upper and lower body are, the man before you holding more strength in his pinky finger than you in all of your body.

It’s crushing, the sick, horrible feeling that something is terribly wrong making your every hair stand on end, your breath ragged as you wait for his next move. Kyojuro nods slowly, his expression not changing.

I see.

You bite your lip, anxiety making a pit form in your stomach.

You need to be reminded of what’s important, my flame. You’ve become misguided – but don’t fret, I will help guide you back to the path. This will hurt, but with time you’ll understand my actions and perhaps even thank me for them.

His words have red flags raising immediately in your mind, but before you can really even process your own questions, his hand is shooting out grasping on of yours, fingers pressing against the pad of your index finger and pushing pushing pushing –

There’s a sickening crunch noise that fills your ears, and everything feels numb for a moment before white-hot, acute agony rushes through you, your finger already swelling and throbbing from the broken bone now within it.

Kyojuro watches as you sob harder, your eyes red and puffy as you look at him, your gaze weak and, quite frankly, pitiful. He only takes a deep breath, his Adam’s apple bobbing, before moving to the next finger, a matching crunch sound only making you cry harder.

Eventually, each finger on your left hand is broken, his hands already moving to start on your right. He’s quick about each break, not letting the pain linger any longer than absolutely necessary, but it doesn’t matter.

By the time he finishes with your right thumb, you’re nearly numb from the pain, your tears having run dry as you shake and jerk with every hiccup and sob that wracks your frame. The sight hurts Kyojuro, truly – and he’ll tell you as much.

Shh, oh my flame, don’t cry – I know it hurts terribly, but so does my heart. Do you see now? Do you see that I love you? I’m showing you that our love is real and pure – I will nurse you back to your proper health. I will be your hands when you cannot touch, and I will stay at your bedside every free moment to keep you company and ensure a quick recovery. Do you understand now? This is your home – no one can care for you in the way that I can.

His voice is soft, with a certain condescending lilt to it that only makes you dumbly nod, the pain still rendering you numb to your surroundings. And as Kyojuro carefully picks you up once more, moving you to your shared futon and gently tucking you under the covers, he’ll quickly gather some small sticks and medical gauze, wrapping each finger and cooing at you all the while.

And as he places a kiss onto each finger tip once its wrappings are complete, you’ll find yourself considering his words.

The conviction to individually break each finger of your lover is certainly no joke – perhaps he could be correct? Is this love?

Is the way he'll carefully feed you your meals as your wounds heal a sign of his truly undying feelings for you?

Is the way he bathes you (with wandering hands and stuttered breaths) a sign that he does truly care for you?

Is the way he helps you use the restroom without the use of your own hands a sign that he’ll truly stand by your side through darkness and light?

Your brain screams no, every ounce of your independence fighting the stream of questions, but some part of you finds comfort in the notion, in believing Kyojuro when he says that he loves you.

And as the days pass and your injuries slowly heal, your captor’s constant presence by your side helping to keep you clean, healthy and well fed, you’ll find that part of you growing louder and louder, drowning out your mind.

Because really, does it even matter? Kyojuro Rengoku is a man of dedication and unwavering devotion – and if he wants you to love him, isn’t it only a matter of time before he succeeds?

After all, who are you to stand your ground in the face of someone like him?

OVERALL DANGER:

 6/10

Kyojuro isn’t necessarily dangerous, or at least in the sense of being a threat to your life. He’s clingy and needy and out of touch with reality, of course, but he doesn’t enjoy the notion of hurting you. He’s willing to, if it’s his only choice, but you’ll never need to worry that any hidden sadistic tendencies of his will emerge. He’ll never suddenly develop the desire to see you cry, nor will he suddenly discard you should his feelings dissipate.

Once his infatuation begins, Kyojuro is committed to making sure that you stay healthy, happy, and – most importantly – by his side.

He’s convinced that he’s the one that can make you happy, that he can give you the most perfect, loving future, filled with laughter, kisses, stolen touches and even a few children with bright yellow and red hair running around the estate.

He’s convinced that he can make you happy, that he already does make you happy, and it will be extremely difficult to snap him out of this fantasy he’s created for the two of you.

He’s an influential man with extreme importance, and you’d be extremely hard pressed to find anyone who would even believe you if you were to somehow escape him, if you were to somehow catch on to his nefarious intentions before he’s stolen you away.

It’s the combination of being surrounded by death, and a yearning to be happy and build a loving family that pushes him to pursue you, developing a future with you feeling so fucking important that he simply can’t resist the drive to court you, to wed you, to see your gorgeous smile and the pretty golden ring with flames engraved on it around your finger.

He’s simply a man in love, and if that love means his hands on your body, pulling you closer and closer and closer until you can hardly breath, so be it.

It’s only natural for something as powerful as love to create such a strong devotion, and isn’t it oddly romantic, in a way? To know that someone as powerful, important and revered as Kyojuro is in love with little old you?

Doesn’t it make you feel good to know you have the Flame Pillar wrapped around your finger, that he’d get on his knees for you at just the merest flutter of your lashes?

He’s truly in love, so embrace it with open arms – he sure is, and things will be much, much better for you the sooner you accept the love he’s so frantically delivering to you.

[fishnapple]

Current situation: should you let go, wait or act?

This reading is about a current situation of yours that you find confusing or stuck. I hope this reading will give you some more clarity.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

I see that you are in an inertia. The situation is at a standstill. You feel like with just one action, the scale will tip over, and the whole situation will change its direction. But you are wary of this change. Even though you hope for relief from this state, you are someone who needs concrete proofs and a full preparation before you engage in any course of action.

If this is about a connection, things were good before, you and them were getting along pretty well, sharing enjoyable moments together. This connection made you feel relaxed and more carefree. But then one or both of you reached a point where there should be more solid commitment. Maybe you wanted to do something together, and the question of practicality came in. Things seemed not fun anymore but required serious consideration. A light attitude and the attempt to bring the connection back to its previous state wouldn't solve this issue as you have hoped.

If this is about other situations that you need to make a choice, the same things also applied. There's a need for you to slow down a little and reconsider the situation. There are opportunities for you to move forward and build something substantial, but you will have to commit to it with practical plans. I see something related to finance, spending, and accumulating wealth. It could be about changing your mentality about these matters. Instead of your feelings, which have the possibility of being influenced by many factors and likely to change, base you course of actions on the actual facts about the situation and your current resources, even your time and energy are your resources. So the advice for this situation would be to wait a little, you should collect more information and use your resources more wisely.

This might be for the people who are currently single and not committed to anyone. The energy is very independent, someone who is just enjoying life and their freedom.

This might be a little specific, but some of you in the past could have experienced breakups or seen other people's commitments falling apart. This made you sceptical and lose faith in relationships. So now you choose to enjoy being alone, focus more on yourself and explore other options.

In general, you might feel quite contented with the current state, but sometimes you can't help but look at others who are in relationships and feel a desire to be in one. But that means you will have to end your current state, and you want someone who can match your energy, who can let you have the same freedom just like when you were single, which is not easy to find and can be an unrealistic expectation.

For other of you who is not in this dilemma, but in other situations that require you to get out of your comfort zone or independent mode to join others. You will have to make a choice, to leave behind the old habits and cultivate new ones. Maybe you're someone who likes to work alone, to shine on your own, but if you want to join some community or a group project, you will need to work with other people, it will be a shared effort.

The general advice is to make the choice only if you're willing to accept the departure of your old self. It's hard to make a choice and expect things to stay the same.

I think you are someone who is quite practical and reserved. Who doesn't allow themselves to be wild or act rashly, always consider the consequence and the effects of your actions. You are not open with your energy. It feels hard and unmoving, like a wall or a statue.

But the situation that you have in mind is something that has the potential to infiltrate that wall and take you out of your usual shell. Sometimes, we are attracted to things and people that represent the opposite facets of us. It's usually when our energy feels too bounded and static, so we need something to break us out, to balance us.

This situation seems to invite you to be more open with your feelings, let loose a little and mingle more with people. It promises connections, joy and flow. It seems good based on that impression, but I sense a hidden slope in it, one that can make you slide down into being undisciplined and go against your principals. There's a pull that leads to overindulgence, making the restraint in you slowly slipping away. It could be someone close to you invite you to try out new things, new activities, introduce you to new people, or you yourself in the process of going out of your comfort zone, trying out different things that can bring more colours and excitements into your life. But the advice for you here is to stop and think clearly, remain cool headed and logical. Having more boundaries and discernment, knowing when to resist invitations to things that have the potential to affect you negatively. Take time and space to be with yourself only.

This could be about work or something where you are providing help for other people. You do it simply because you think it's necessary, you just want to help without thinking too much about it, without expectation for something, maybe you've been providing something for free or for too often. But this kind of behaviour can lead others to the assumption that you're naive, easy to take advantage of, or on the opposite side, that you have hidden motives and try to please people. Simple acts can be interpreted as something more complicated. I think this will be a learning process for you, to think more carefully before jumping in to help. I'm not saying that you should be more calculative or stop helping people altogether, but be more clear in your intention with them.

Some people could get used to your help and expect more and more. It could gradually become a burden for you. Setting clear boundaries is important. When you feel that your time and energy aren't appreciated, make a clear decision to stop and try to untangle yourself from people's expectations. Also, setting priorities, some of your actions have actually hindered your progress.

I also see some kind of hidden rivalry, maybe on the surface, things seem pretty friendly, but there might be talks behind your back, passive-aggressive words, actions that won't reveal their true intentions. Don't jump into conclusion too hastily, but if there is something amiss and you can sense it, don't hesitate to make a clear-cut decision to stop this kind of behaviour. Maybe remove yourself from that situation. If it's hard to do so, detach yourself and avoid engaging further.

You are excited to start something new, to execute a plan, a vision. The plan is based on your past experiences. You remember how things were good in the past and eager to start them again or to dive back in. The actions here are based on an idealistic view of the situation. This situation might have already happened in the past once or many times before, but you somehow have forgotten some of its effects or consequences. It's like you didn't remember the event in its entirely, some parts were blotted out. This could make the situation right now seem a lot more positive than it actually is. Or maybe you remembered the past, but you're optimistic about the future, you might believe that this time, it will be different.

There's a feeling of haste. Everything is just in a preparation state, but you want to act quickly, decisively. The fruits haven't been ripe yet, but you want to harvest them already. So the advice is to wait more, observe more, plan more, try to see the situation in different angle, if you want to act, at least do so in small steps, avoid taking grand actions. Being told to wait while having inspiration can be frustrating, but there's something hidden, an information, a help, an opportunity, awaiting you if you're willing to slow down a little to listen.

The energy of this group is really about enjoying themselves, enjoying life in general. The message for this group might be really short because it seems that you will soon receive the reward for your effort. Just keep doing what you're doing, the tree will grow if you keep nurturing it, the scarf will get longer if you keep knitting.

You might want to relax more, to have more fun, and be confident in your ability to make things real. Emotions might be heightened more in this period. If you've been planning to try something new, now is a good time to do that, you are infused with more confidence and spontaneity to try out things that you didn't think you would be able to do. Just be a little mindful of your spending, a high spirit could likely make some impulsive purchases that you would regret later on.

This message is just for a specific group of people, but if you are in a triangle relationship or there is a third party involved, you might want to reconsider your choice and put your peace of mind at the top priority. If the situation generates too much dramas and the indecisiveness from the people involved is not resolved then be ready to let go and walk away, I do see another opportunity for you in the future.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Musings - Tentative Timeline (Pt2: The Trial)

I've been struggling with this for a while, cuz this ish just don't make sense, AMC. (I fully expect S3 to gotcha/retcon/fix stuff, esp. since who knows what Armand's tinkered around with in Louis' head.) I split this timeline in 2 parts: Pt1 has everything from 2x1 - 2x6ish (text & chart versions of timeline); and Pt2 covers as much as I can understand from the Trial's shenanigans. (I'm just one person tryna figure out wtf is going on, so if y'all have any insights, please share!)

I've been grappling with the sequence of events that led to the Trial since 2x6 aired, when Armand "could not prevent" his CHOICE to stand back and let Louis' family be abducted & tortured & killed.

Armand was actually in cahoots with Santiago the whole time (writing/directing/editing the Trial script); so was he also lying/making excuses about why THE most powerful vampire with the Mind Gift wasn't reading his own coven's thoughts?

So, since we know Armand put false memories into Lou's head about the Trial (which ofc makes Louis' account more difficult to parse), and we know Armand knew all about Lestat/Bruce since the very first day, I've just been wondering how early the Trial was planned out.

Cuz the BIG question everyone's circling around is WHEN Lestat arrived in Paris, and WHY he didn't warn Louis that the coven was planning something.

Theories range from:

Les willingly participated in the Trial, deliberately acting with ill intent cuz he was mad about Mardi Gras; "it's their turn to hurt." Lesdaughter Truthers are wrong, Les DGAF about Claudia.

Les was unable to warn Louis or stop the Trial cuz he was captured, injured & manipulated/mind-fogged (a la the book canon)

Sam Reid (deliberately?) hemmed & hawed about Lestat going into the rehearsal/Trial acting on raw impulse, with no plan whatsoever, other than getting Louis (specifically) out alive

NGL, I think ALL of the above are to some degree true! 😅

But I lean toward Theory #2 most of all, cuz that's how the book events transpired. But I'll be the first to admit that #2 is deeply flawed & hard AF to defend/prove, based on what little we actually saw in 2x6, 2x7, and esp. 2x8. Cuz it really does seem like Les LET an awful lot of bad ish happen that he too could've prevented.

So I wanna put 2x6 into context this time, to try and piece things together. Cuz the math REALLY ain't mathin, AMC.

What we have thus far:

According to Armand in 2x8, he started lying to Louis about the coven preparing the Trial the night Madeleine was Turned in 2x6.

November 1945

Armand knew the FIRST NIGHT Louis & Claudia arrived in Summer 1945 that they were lying about Lestat/"Bruce."

Spring 1946 - Spring 1947

The coven was suspicious the entire time--it's esp. obvs. as Santiago grills them about "Chicago":

Santiago vs Claudia (2x3) around Spring 1946, "Stick with it, Puce! You're almost there."

Santiago vs Louis (2x4) around Spring 1947, "New Orleans!" (It makes sense that it would take Santiago longer to confront Louis, as Armand kept complaining about Louis never being around the Theatre x x)

Late 1947 / Early 1948

post-September 1947, Santiago had already stolen Claudia's diaries & passed them around to the coven; and Celeste & Estelle had already interrogated Roget about Lestat.

Did Armand know Santiago was in Louis' apartment going through their things (while Claudia would either be out with Madeleine, or at the Theatre under curfew) --

--and did he know the coven was reading her Diaries right in front of him while Santiago & Celeste & Estelle were interrogating Roget about Lestat?

Esp. since all of this goes down in 2x6 BEFORE Armand had even met Madeleine & Louis/Claudia asked him to Turn her!

We know that by late 1947 / early 1948 (when Louis bought the Wols, then came home to find Claudeleine in his coffin, then took them to Armand to ask for the bite), Armand already knows that Lou & Claudia wanna do their own thing with Madz; committing the same "crime" that got Santiago's Maker killed--making a vamp without the Coven Master's permission--but ofc, Louis is NOT in Armand's coven.

Late 1948 - Early 1949

In the very next scene, we get Santiago & Sam in cahoots about Godot's projections/scripts. Patterns of behavior indicate that Armand LET this all happen, and only pretended that "the buffoon was in the audience."

In my Timeline Pt1, I surmised that the very latest Sam could've finished the Godot script was early 1949, cuz IRL Sam Beckett wrote the play b/t October 1948 - January 1949.

Spring - Summer 1949

So by Spring of 1949, Sam would be free to turn his attention to drafting a NEW script...for the Trial.

April 1949: Sam writes the Trial script.

(Is it JUST his half, or is Les already awake & in Paris & writing the other half with him? OR is Les awake & just in telepathic communication with the coven, and has no idea they're asking him questions to incriminate Claudia & Louis?)

2x5 & 2x6 also give us some very important contextual dates! Loumand references a bunch of events that happened around the same time, which can help approximate when Tuan's projections were being made.

LOUIS: The Berlin Blockade ended in May. The Geneva Convention was agreed in August. Some of the front pages from that year. But if you look in the filler, in the back pages. Strange crimes reported. ARMAND: A telescopic lens stolen from the Observatory at Meudon. A film company shooting the crime thriller 'Porte D'Orient' delayed when its inventory of color film stock is snatched. LOUIS: A gang of drunkards, hanging off of the side of the Eiffel Tower, all facing south by southwest, all muttering in unison--gone by the time police arrive by elevator. ARMAND: Crimes all left unsolved.

May 12, 1949: Berlin Blockade ends

June 21, 1949: Paris Observatory's missing lens reported stolen. (Because these are newspaper reports, we might also assume the actual time of the theft was the night before the article was published (June 20). But who knows.)

June 23, 1949: Oriental Port color film stock reported stolen; filming delayed. (Because these are newspaper reports, we might also assume the actual theft of the events was the night before the article was published (June 22). But who knows.)

The color film stock being stolen that delayed Oriental Port's filming is a VERY nice touch, cuz the movie was released in 1950, and was the first French film to use Agfa-Gevacolor film, which had only been available to the public since January 1949 (x x). So the film nerds at AMC really stay on top of their research! 👌

July 1949: Armand distracts Louis with library outings:

ARMAND: Ah, July, 1949. The reading room. LOUIS: Mmm. We broke into the same library every night that month, hypnotized security, as one does, flipped the lights, laid our backs on long tables and stared up at the ceiling. ' DANIEL: Hot. ARMAND: Iron pillars holding up terracotta domes, a light trick that made the ceiling appear higher than it was. LOUIS: And why not pass a month that way? An effortless, eternal life ahead of us. Funny thing, trying to remember what occupied one's time when one was ignorant of the plotting around him.DANIEL: Grab that. LOUIS: Santiago had broken into our apartme--I'm sorry. Grab what?

Louis implies that the "plotting around him" started in July 1949--or at least, that's when HE surmised (in Dubai, NOT Paris) that Armand had "started lying to me." Ofc, 2x8 would reveal that Armand was in cahoots with the coven since jump.

We can thus assume that this was when the bulk of the projector images based on Claudia's diaries were being drawn (whenever Armand wasn't distracting Louis with dates to the library). They already have the Agfa-Gevacolor film, and the Observatory's fancy projection lens, so that Tuan can animate whatever Sam had already written for the script. "But they had their Technicolor film. Tuan Pham's wizardry with it."

And ofc, they'd want to corroborate the diaries with Lestat's own testimony. (Esp. since it's clear from Claudia's diaries that Les ISN'T dead, just thrown in the dump--cuz Claudia KNOWS the only way to be sure you've killed a vamp is to burn them, and she's mad AF that they didn't do that to Les cuz Lou freaked TF out.)

Again: did they only call Lestat after they had Claudia's diaries (once they knew there was a chance he wasn't dead after all)? The dates seem to imply that this was the case--that Armand & Santiago & co. had suspected Lestat was alive ever since 1945, but it was only until 1949 that they bothered to contact him.

Fall 1949

September 5, 1949: report of Eiffel Tower climbed by "muttering drunkards." (Because these are newspaper reports, we might also assume the actual time of the events was the night before the article was published (Sept 4). But who knows.)

The September 5th date is the most telling: IF Armand is telling truth, this would be when the coven contacted Lestat, as seen in Tuan's projection during the Trial.

So, IF this is the truth & S3 doesn't retcon anything, the rehearsals with Lestat would've had to have started in September, after 3 months of Tuan's prep (the thefts started in June); and 5 months of Sam's writing & Armand's edits.

February 6, 1940 - September 5, 1949: Lestat's "state of repose" ends when the coven "wakes" him. (IF this is true, Roget was right that Les was just asleep, taking a long AF dirt nap. IF Les was awake before then, he was only motivated to come to Paris when the coven climbed the Eiffel Tower & told him the Trial was soon--likely still too emotionally damaged / psychologically injured to leave NOLA.)

Again, the big question is: what was Les up to while he was in Paris, b4 the Trial? Was he free to come & go as he pleased (in which case: why TF didn't he warn Lou?!); OR was he locked up (a la the books)?

post-September 5, 1949: Madeleine is Turned.

Right after the scene of Dubai!Loumand describing all the "strange crimes," we get the scene of Paris!Loumand in the park, discussing Madz, right b4 she's Turned that night (Lou's in the same clothes).

THIS is the night Armand claimed he started lying to Lou, ("They gave me a choice"). And again: we know even THAT was a lie too, cuz UNLESS Madz was turned the exact same night that Les arrived AND wrote his half of the script AND rehearsed it (meaning Les wasn't starved/tortured at all), then Armand had PLENTY of time BEFORE Madz Turned to work on the script & direct the rehearsals.

The same night of Madz's Turning, Armand moves into Louis' apartment (and Claudia's coffin 🤮), with his magnolia sprig. And speaking of plants....

September-October-ish, 1949: Claudeleine finds the X, planting flowers outside Saint Denis.

I assume "cold things" are the cold corpses Claudeleine is burying; that "become warm" metaphorically, when plants/flowers grow over their graves. I know nothing about autumn weather in France. Going by clothes, it looks like it's still nice & warm, cut comfy enough for light jackets. I also know nothing about flowers, or what seasons they grow in France. But apparently Claudeleine's Fall flowers are fine:

Lavender: usually stops flowering in late August or mid-September; definitely by mid-October.

Sweet Iris: has high cold resistance, and goes dormant from November - March-ish.

Peony: apparently there are regular peonies & tree peonies, and they both like colder weather--the regular ones go dormant around November. Plenty seem to be ok in Fall, up to October-ish, that you can get at nurseries. And they really like bone meal as fertilizer, omg. XD

(My headcanon wants to assume that Claudia only agreed to visit Louis in Paris either cuz it was gonna be her birthday (9/21), OR his birthday (10/4). 💔 Cuz misogynoir, I'd bet Monopoly money it was Claudia's; DOOMED by the narrative! 😭)

Late 1949 (September/October): The Trial.

(Guys. D'you reckon those nasty theatre kids held the Trial on frikkin Halloween? 🤣)

Late 1949 (November-ish): Louis is kept buried alive in the wet room for at least 1 month after the Trial, before Armand finally pulls him out the coffin.

The latest the Trial could've taken place is October, in order for OVER a month to have passed and the fire still happens in 1949.

VERY Late 1949 (November/December): Louis slaughters the coven, the "Great Fire of 1949" send the Theatre des Vampires up in flames. 🔥

(The Talamasca folder in 2x3 calls it the "Great Fire;" which makes me giddy, cuz we also have the "Great Burnings" in the books, related to Akasha. I love how Akasha & Louis are paralleled, just slaughtering vamps with the Fire Gift, bless.)

1950

May 24 - June 4, 1950: The French Championship of 1950 takes place at Roland-Garros. Spoiler: the Australians lost that year. 😂

[askagamedev]

Do you think you personally put out better games, better art, under pressure? Some people put out masterpieces that only took the shape they did because they were under harsh constraints, cheifly low dev time. How about you? And is there a dichotomy between comfort and pressure to product quality that you find interesting?

That's an excellent question. You may remember the term [Decision Paralysis] used before on this blog. It's when a decisionmaker is presented with so many choices that they refuse to make (or put off making) a choice out of fear of making a mistake. Decision Paralysis affects everyone, including game developers like me. We can get so wrapped up in finding the perfect solution that we never commit to any one, for fear of that's solution's drawbacks... even though any solution that we commit to will have drawbacks regardless. This lack of commitment has side effects down the line - because we can't commit to something, we're afraid of our work being wasted or thrown out so we won't commit our best effort to it.

As such, pressure like a deadline naturally pushes us towards what I've taken to calling decision commitment - when we are willing to lock down a choice and accept all the benefits and tradeoffs that choice entails, rather than continuing to circle the options and never commit. It is closely related to what Mark Darrah likes to call completion urgency - the pressure to finish what we're working on. Decision commitment is necessary to make actual progress. Without any pressure to commit to a decision, dev teams can (and do) burn indefinite amounts of dev time and resources going in circles and end up with very little to show for it. When we've got a hard deadline, we know we have to buckle down and commit. That pushes us to give our best because we know it won't be wasted.

Lack of (or late) decision commitment really hurts craftsmanship and quality because we aren't actually committing to what we're building. If we are always keeping the back door open to drop whatever it is we're working on and changing our minds on the direction we're going, it always feels like a potential waste to do our best work. The quickest way to burnout is to feel like your work doesn't matter and your effort was wasted. Why polish, optimize, and improve if we're going to go a different way next week and throw this work out? No one likes to feel that way, so we naturally hedge our efforts with the minimum viable effort if we aren't sure whether it will be used.

This is all a long-winded way of saying "Yes, I absolutely do better quality work when I'm under pressure. Since I am confident we're doing this thing, I can give it my all." Without the pressure to deliver, the back door is always open and it's extremely hard to commit to the decision and give my best. If I know that we're absolutely committing to what I'm working on, I will build the best feature and content that I can. I believe that many other devs share this feeling for similar reasons.

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[juniorfor2]

I will always find it interesting that for all that people constantly complain about "likable" or "nuanced" villians, wanting "the good old days, where a villain was just a villain and there was nothing more to them," the moment that you open any Youtube video centered on a "nothing but a villain" character, it has at least a few comments making them far more likable and nuanced than they really are. Which wouldn't be of much interest, except for one fact - they all have at least 10-20 thousand likes.

People complain that Disney and other corporations are ruining movies, making characters far too palatable and relatable, but in truth, the same people who complain about such things will also end up liking and encouraging any thinking that characterizes the villains as such. Corporations mostly follow what their viewers want, even if slow or in a bad direction, not the other way around.

Tywin Lannister was an unmistakable bad guy in ASOIAF and Game of Thrones. He was horrible to Tyrion, cared nothing for his family beyond what they could offer to his legacy, and was willing to commit horrific deeds to climb to power. In fact, he demonstrated almost every reason for why "feudalism is bad!" as some people constantly write about. And yet, there are dozens of videos, comments, and social media posts about how Tywin Lannister was misunderstood the whole time and was really a good guy.

He should have been "the good old days where a villain was just a villain!" Isn't that what people wanted? He was an obvious antagonist to Tyrion, one of the main protagonists - perfect, right? Yet instead of grabbing onto this, people turned him into the very thing they claimed not to like.

They could have simply done this with the protagonist. Why not make the protagonist a bit more likable? It doesn't mean much to the story when done, even if it does miss the point occasionally.

But that's not what happens. In fact, the opposite does. The protagonist, the character that's supposed to be likable or nuanced according to them, is turned into the "nothing but a villain" character.

Daenerys Targaryen is one such character. She is very, very obviously one of the biggest protagonists. The first book ends with her, with "for first time in hundreds of years, the night came alive with the music of dragons." She is a bridal slave turned Breaker of Chains. She makes mistakes, as every protagonist does, but still progresses forward.

What's not to like about her? While her circumstances and the hard choices she must make do take her into the shades of grey, she is still so compassionate for those suffering that she never comes anywhere close to the darkness that Jon Snow or Tyrion have demonstrated and progressed to. Making her more likable is easy. That's not what happens though.

Instead, she is villainized. She is determined by others to become the darkest character of all, with no nuance or likability whatsoever. They make her the villain in place of the one they've made palatable.

Some of this, I think, can be summed up to people being somewhat idiots and thinking that their idea of hot means good. I remember watching the first 4 seasons back with a sort-of-friend, and she had a huge crush on Charles Dance playing Tywin (she was 16 at the time and he was in his 60s - no, I didn't understand her, and yes, I took great pleasure in showing her Tywin's death). She was so convinced that he wasn't that bad, and the only reason she thought that was because she found him hot. So obviously that does take up a part of it. But it's definitely not the main reason.

The main reason, seeming fairly obvious, is because the idea that movies/shows/books have social or political ideas is no longer something they can ignore. They'll rave about wokeness, saying that it's in every movie now, and why can't we all go back to the good old days of Star Trek and Star Wars and the Lord of the Rings books that of course had absolutely no themes. Despite them having some incredibly heavy or obvious ideas, people somehow managed to ignore them. But now they can't.

Said people do not want to go back to the good old days of "nothing but a villain." They want to back to the "good old days" where they didn't have to examine why a villain was so terrible. They don't want to see themselves in the antagonist - so they make it so villain is no longer one.

In their desperation to get rid of political themes and ideas, and to cover up their own views that could make them look at themselves as the "villain" of our real life "story," they switch the antagonist and the protagonist, the villain and the hero, to make themselves the hero.

After all, why examine your own faults when you can just make them the correct, non-woke perspective?

[sucrows]

Breeding Kink Ask Game with Adonis and 3,4,8 I BEG---

So like, you didn’t elaborate as to whether you wanted this as dom or sub and you also picked 3 numbers instead of 2 sooo I'm kinda just gonna do what i feel like 👍 oh also this is not the extra thing i mentioned having planned for Adonis. that's going to be another post

3. legs wrapped  4.out of condoms  (GN Reader)

(NSFW UNDER CUT) 

Adonis could never take having a sexual relationship with you for granted. Every time you grant him the opportunity to touch you, he is ever gentle and always respectful of your wants and needs. While this makes it a delight to spend time with him, it does make it a bit frustrating when you want him to assert his own needs- To take what he wants. 

You’ve seen the way he stares longingly at you, eyes painting a picture of how badly he wants you. It drives you insane to know how much he wants you when he refuses to ever make the first move. He almost always waits for you to initiate any contact. One day, you can’t take it anymore, and you finally beg him to take you the way he wants. Immediately, he tries to reject it, not wanting to force his wants onto you. But he’s not immune to your pleas and with the agreement that you’ll tell him to stop the moment you’re uncomfortable, he goes for it. 

Adonis is almost uncertain in all his moments, his instinct being to slow down and ask you want you want him to do rather than to do what he wants first. He takes every move slowly, but he manages to get somewhere. Before long, he has both of you naked, with you on your back underneath him. Even when he’s supposed to be the one taking what he wants, he still can’t help but put your pleasure above his own and takes his time to thoroughly loosen you up with his fingers. You just count it a victory when he stops himself from pausing to ask you if everything is alright at every turn. 

Sure, you know Adonis has amazing stamina, but you hadn’t expected him to go through as many rounds as he ended up doing with you. Soon, the condom box is dwindling but it still seems he has no desire to stop. One after another is tied off and thrown into the trash bin after use. Ultimately, you’re a bit grateful Adonis still took his time prepping you before getting into the session as you don’t think you would’ve been able to withstand all these rounds without it. 

The dreaded moment arises when Adonis reaches into the box and finds nothing left inside. The disappointment on his face almost breaks your heart with how hard you had to try in order to convince him to enjoy himself... While it might not be the most responsible thing, you two are in a committed relationship after all, and there are plenty of people in those who go without condoms without any issues stemming from it. Your encouragement takes some time to reach him but, just like before, it does so. With a kiss to your forehead, he lines himself back up to your hole, ready to take you raw for the first time. 

Despite his hesitance to start, you swear he’s never fucked you as passionately as he is now. Somehow, it just feels so much better, feeling the direct contact of his skin on your own. The way his cock splits you open so deliciously and the way the heat of it permeates into you from the inside... You’re suddenly not sure if either of you want him to finish outside. Feeling him getting more and more intense with his movements, you know you don’t have long before a choice needs to be made. 

When he responds to your “Do you want to pull out?” with a quiet “... I should.” you know that you hit right on the mark. You wrap your legs around him and hold him in close with your arms as his movements get more erratic. For a second, he falters, uncertain of whether or not to give in... then he does. He goes harder on his efforts, pushing your legs further up and fucking into you rougher than he has the whole night. Before long, a low groan is leaving his mouth as he stills inside you, filling you up with his cum for the first time. 

[swallowerofdharma]

Hi! Your posts are really insightful so i was wondering about your views on the nature of doumeki’s love? It seems unconventionally strong and unwavering but also controlling and desperate like a double edged sword so can it compliment yashiro’s need for the kind of love that helps him overcome the part of his trauma that stems from the absence of his mother’s love? I am hopeful but also apprehensive narratively speaking

Hello Anon, I share your feelings about being hopeful and apprehensive about the possible resolutions of the situation between D and Y. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how unlikely it would be that everything will be tied up nicely. There are in my opinion certain things that will remain unsolved, if the narrative keeps adhering to the reality of living life. I believe that feelings will be addressed and confirmed from both sides and D and Y will make a mutual commitment that hopefully surpasses the dimension of sexual partnership and force them to reveal their thoughts and fears to each other. After all I believe a main theme of the story is that love is a transformative force, but not a solution for anyone’s problems, those just don’t go magically away.

About Doumeki, I underlined a few times already that he fell in love while his life had been radically altered and he had not much else: he gave himself to love without any fear of losing himself in it since he already was in the position of having to reimagine a new life for himself. He was ready to follow Y regardless of where that choice would take him. Isn’t D the most relatable character of the two for most readers? Falling in love for the first time, and in a moment when he desperately needed a new direction, any caution went out of the window and he was ready to give himself up in every way possible, as long as he could have and keep the object of his affection near. That is a scary thing about love isn’t it? It changes our perception so much that it is hard to keep our judgment. When D is on his knees in front of Y, a gun pointed at his head, he says words that don’t have any other logic except that of an enamouredness that had transformed into blind and desperate devotion. At that moment, D seems completely broken over Yashiro’s rejection, with only his conviction to sustain him, because Y had become the sole focus and reason for living. That is an extremely dangerous position to be, that deadly nature of love that won’t listen to reason that is an extreme literature had exploited greatly. Juliet thought that Romeo was dead and the only course of action that grief and love suggested to her was dying too. If in love we find the greatest affirmation of life, then when we feel that we are losing it we are closer to death than ever. But the playwright is representing the extraordinary, an extreme of passion that cannot be taken as a model that can be seamlessly copied from in a reenactment of the “authentic” forces of love. This scary potential for love to make someone forget themselves in Saezuru is shown in the negative - D being carried by his feelings and forcing them and himself on Y, and later forfeiting his life for Y - and in the potential for the positive - Y confronting his convictions and fears.

chapter 33, confront these words with those Doumeki said in chapter 41

Love brought about an imbalance and disruption so great that the temporary separation was necessary: for D a chance to rebuild his autonomy and confidence in himself, but with that came a form of resentment, nurtured further by his misunderstanding of the nature of the relationship between Y and Inami. Why not him? So the bigger problem in my opinion has always been the fact that D has no real understanding of Yashiro’s situation, he doesn’t know much about his past, about his family’s dynamics or the relationship with Misumi, and he never quite realized how little power Y had over his circumstances, because Y is extremely good at making people believe that he had more agency and made his own choices in life, he built his understanding of himself on the idea of as a strong and willful person who was able to handle everything life gave him and transform his painful experiences into a more bearable and enjoyable and affirming image. Being confronted with the crude reality isn’t easy. D doesn’t know what he contributed to show Y: a worse set of memories than the ones Y had been carefully selected and manufactured during the years. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that D is at fault for what he doesn’t know, but he does make several mistakes in judgment and ultimately the habit of blurring the boundaries in the relationship first established by Y is exploited by D to a greater degree than what could still be treated as non particularly armful.

The fact is that even if Y was able to verbalize the dissonance he felt to D, he is aware that D might as well not be able to fully comprehend, and he has been proven correct in this regard previously. This is not only shown as destruction of trust, in Saezuru, I think that it is clear that Y thought that D is better off not having to bear any of Yashiro’s suffering, even if he will be hurt by the rejection of his feelings, Y thought that it would be better for him in the end instead of having to see or accept the parts that Y has yet to share of himself, an enormous amount of grief and insecurity, of baggage that Y wished to keep buried. Let’s be real here, love will always be a door opened to fear and grief for Y, because of memories he can’t erase. And he will need someone who would not waver to build a completely new habit of trusting another with his most vulnerable feelings. Even now, with D coming in between him and his self-destructive relationship with Inami (self-destructive and yet weirdly affirming to a part of himself that Y finds difficult to let go of), with D trying to reach Y again, without making his feelings overwhelmingly known this time, even now Y keeps thinking of Doumeki’s life as better without himself in it, with Izumi, with the Sakura group since Tsunakawa seems interested enough in keeping D around. Love once again left Y more aware than ever of his wretched existence, it had happened before, with Kageyama being the first person to make Y aware of his loneliness and uniqueness, and it hurt. And he doesn’t feel like he has anything valuable to offer to someone like D, especially if sex is involved, since sex to Y has always meant devaluation of himself and desiring a gentle touch from a man a sign of his wicked nature.

I think that Doumeki’s love has wavered during the years, it would be quite worrying if it hadn’t. Yoneda showed us that D was so affected by the discovering that Y went to meet Inami after D had thought he had given him the sexual release he needed (why else would Y need Inami? here we see the limit of D’s comprehension of the complexities of the situation Y is in as long as he is involved in the yakuza) that he took a step back and volunteered Kamiya to keep an eye on Y instead. Feelings were still there for D, and he was affected by meeting Y face to face once again at Kido’s restaurant, but not to the point of being unable to keep his distance, as he was able to do for four years. Love waits with a surprisingly strong persistence. Just by being a yakuza he had kept his connection to the life he wanted near Y. He wanted Y to choose him instead, when he saw that Inami had a relationship with him, when D was instead forbidden to keep one. That want stems from his incomprehension of a reality where someone like Inami has access to Yashiro. Inami is for both Y and D the ghost of their fathers that haunts their choices.

When I talked about D’s jealousy, my criticism was directed towards the actions that he took fueled by that emotion, in addition to some words he said and the ones he didn’t say. He wants to be on equal terms with Y, so he won’t clarify the nature of his relationship with Izumi unless Y admits to wanting him. If Y won’t break things up with Inami, D will forcefully take the place and function that he thinks Inami has in Yashiro’s life, not realizing that he is leaving Y with the feelings of being treated as a sexual object once again, of his agency being undermined repeatedly. Those aren’t equal terms any longer.

In my past analyses I wrote about the meaning of Doumeki’s first name and about the position of Saezuru as a story not written in compliance with the terms of the romance genre as we commonly see in the English-language market. Saezuru shows the contradictions between eros and love, doesn’t present them as synonyms, even when they coexist. Eros and love are treated as immense potentials for both affirmation and destruction of one’s self. Eros contains positive and negative qualities, the potential for love and for the opposite of it, being it cruelty or fear, it can bring us closer to life or drove us to our death, it promises happiness and can bring unmeasurable pain, being ruled by generosity or prevarication. Saezuru is a story that doesn’t treat us readers as babies or offer any simplification in showing the good and the bad in people or within the role of eros (hear! hear! sex isn’t inherently dirty either nor love is the secret ingredient that protect us from exploitation). Without darkness we can’t appreciate light, so we need to understand that everything is potentially good or bad, even love, we can only try to find a balance and an understanding so that we don’t hurt others in affirming ourselves nor we have to renounce ourselves to become dependent and subjected to someone’s else. That is why in Saezuru the answer could not have been a codependent relationship with everything else buried under the rug.

Anon, I don’t really know if I have managed to answer your question. The topic is tremendously difficult and Doumeki has closed himself up so we can only infer things. But I have blabbered quite a bit. I hope that some of it makes sense and thank you for reaching out to me and giving me an excuse to talk about this manga during this long period of hiatus.

[liquidorcard]

Have you already watched joontheking video?

My thoughts:

- This is entirely speculation on my part, but I think "Val'kyr Studios" might have been a blundered, half-assed attempt on Lily's part to commit tax fraud. I'll elaborate on how Canadian small independent business tax benefits work if you'd like further explanation as to why.

-I'll pull my trans card here for a second to defend Joon's choice to include Lily's uncensored deadname. I want to make it clear that in the VAST MAJORITY OF SITUATIONS showing someone's deadname is a no-no. Lily has the right to refer to herself by her deadname if she pleases, obviously she's aware it's extremely easy to find, but it's not (in any personal circumstances) for others to use.

But the seriousness of the allegations called for total informational clarity and transparency on Joon's part, especially when it comes to Lily. Queer people, but especially trans women are often the target of pedojacketing. One of the issues, especially with criticizing her, is that just describing Lily in the abstract, she's so remarkably close to the alt-right bigoted stereotype of trans people, I'd HOPE people wouldn't take others at their word for it without doing research themselves. I know if you described Lily to ME without proof I'd have a hard time not assuming there was a good chance some poor women out there was being MAGA dogpiled by the internet, and 99% of the time that assumption would be the correct one. Lily is that one in a million irl stereotype. I believe she knows that and heavily exploits it-- maybe even leans in to some extent. It's hard to tell what parts of her are genuine and what parts are part of her are her shtick as the most victimized person to ever walk this green earth sometimes.

There was no good answer here, but that Joon said her deadname verbally ONCE for the sake of clarity, kept the screenshots and audio clips uncensored, but verbally gendered and named her correctly was a thoughtful and probably the best compromise. That he seemed careful to only include the claims with the most hard evidence or ones he could get direct testimony for and including a section trying to lightly address criticism of the authenticity of Lily's gender identity is also evidence of him taking care not to poop touch, in my opinion.

I don't know for sure, I don't know the man, and I am but a humble trans man, but that's my two cents.

-When he accidentally mispronounced Lily's name as "Loli Orchard" that almost took me out. I doubt it was intentional but 10/10, no notes, perfection. Chef's kiss.

-Seeing momma Peet show up to pick fights with Lily and Lizzy publically on twitter was wild. I had no idea that happened.

-As someone who was made known of Lily during the Becky Sucrose arc, seeing her Bhaalspawn and Brony arc comprehensively laid out in something that wasn't a bunch of disjointed posts for the first time was . . . Interesting.

-I need to make a Tara Callie wojak set.

[n3xii]

What Era Are you in Right Now?

This reading explores the current era you're in, what advice you need to hear, and if there's any blockages you can overcome at this time! Check out my pinned services for a more personal reading. (Affordable prices)

Pile one

The current era you're in

You're working on yourself, your goals and ambitions. You're probably hustling alot and have a very organized outline of what you're gonna achieve. You may feel like there's alot of limitations on what you're able to do on a day to day basis, you may feel like you don't have alot of room to make descions, but the period you're in is actually gonna have alot of rewards for you later on down the line. Thr lack of free time you feel is no match for how much freedom you will have. The achievement you're working for is not instant, it's something that will take alot of time and energy but will have a more gratifying result.

Divine advice

You may be feeling overwhelmed and as if you can't keep up. Spirit wants you to know that you're able to accomplish your goals and see it through to the end. You have the strength to keep going. Don't fall away into old patterns and routines. You can keep going and meet your desired outcome. People who chose this pile may be in college and trying to make it through to get their degree. Others are working certain jobs and trying to save up for something. This degree will be worth it, im being shown that all the hard work you invested will reward you greatly. It may be overwhelming right now, but you've made it through tough times in the past and you can make it through it again.

Blockages

You've committed yourself to a certain path whether it be your major or a certain career path, and you haven't allowed yourself the possibility to change it. You're committed and have a specific idea in mind but haven't allowed yourself to explore other paths. Spirit wants you to be open to more paths, espeically be open to possible delays. Don't feel obligated to fullfill specific time frames or a specific path, its blocking you off from potential opportunities and ideas. This doesn't mean abandon what you're currently doing, it means to soften your attitude towards any changes in direction or delays. Spirit is guiding you at this time.

Pile two

What era you are in 》

I think people in this pile are in the era of improving their mental health, their physical health, and improving their daily routine etc. You're becoming more aware of things going on in your health and integrating new things into your diet, mindset, spiritual routines. You're concisous of what factors are effecting you and actively accommodating to your own needs

Advice

The advice you're getting is to keep going, you're on a path of spiritual evolution. The choices you're making are helping you improve in all areas of life and your guides want you to keep in mind your new priorities. But overall, you're doing great so far. You're more connected to your guides and to your higgerself, use your refined connection as a counsel for future descions. Don't use who you were in those past habits or routines as a guide for descions.

Blockages 》

Unlike pile number one, you guys struggle to commit. this new awareness you're bringing to your daily life and to your health deserves consistency. You may not have been able to commit to things in the past but that doesn't have to dictate what you do in the future. Whether your trying a new regime, manifesting technique, diet, workout routine, affirmations etc WHATEVER IT IS try your best to do this on a consistent basis. Commit to it.

Pile three

What era are you in?

You've officially closed the door to romance. It's not that you necessarily hate romance atm but it's just not your priority right now. You're focused on becoming more firm in your descions and in who you are. You're sick of feeling lost and like you don't know what you're doing or where you're going. I feel like people who've chosen this pile have recently began to feel motivated to make these changes, you've been feeling lost for a while but now you feel like you can actually do something about it. You're in the era where you're embracing the unknown and getting to know yourself.

Any advice you need to hear 》

Work on your third eye Chakra. Set aside time to visualize your future, what you would be doing, how you would feel etc. Without vision it's hard to know what action you should take. It's also easier to manifest with a clear vision or outline of what you want. Many of you need to trust your intution as well. You're feeling lost because you don't trust yourself no matter what descion you make. When you trust your intuition you feel more firm and settle in making descions.

Blockages

Right now I'm seeing you guys having a very narrow or closed off perspective. You have limited room to go because you have a limited way of viewing your options. Spirit says open up. Expand your awareness. Don't disregard certain options or paths because you have a certain attachment to them in your mind. You could be missing out on opportunities for growth because you haven't expanded your worldview. Also expanding your perspective is so important for visualization and manifestion???? If you have limitations it's hard to imagine what you want to create.

[corn-fanfiction]

Hiiii hii hi over here!! I loooved stitches!! They way you wrote Mark was perfect imo, capturing his sonewhat standoffish but human side. Awesome job!!

Can I request one where Mark is reader's best friends's dad?? AU or not but he's still an officer

Pretty please with a cherry on top? ♥

Okay we're fudging math a little with this one. We'll clock reader at 22 and Mark at...44. there, twice the age without making it too weird.

I really love this prompt and its challenge to dodge some cliches. And then roll around in some like a little piggy in the mud. Little pig boy comes from the dirt. Sorry I blacked out there for a second.

-·=»◆‡«=·-♡·=»◆‡«=·-

Is It Justice? (Mark Hoffman x F!Reader)

Tags/warnings: older man/ younger woman, manic depressive disorder, moments of deep vulnerability, questionable choices, kissy kissy, mentions of death and grief, hurt/comfort

Rated: M (I think? I started to go cross eyed writing this)

Mark sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. Again. Again?

He knows he should be grateful it's you and not his son. But Sam would never, ever be caught in this compromising a position. But you had seemed to lack any sort of stern parenting in your life. His son had no shortage of that.

Okay, so he hadn't always been a perfect father, but he was a good cop. But tonight, as it had so many times before, the line became blurry. And a third role had begun to emerge, and it was bad enough that each time he had half a mind to pawn you off on someone else.

But it didn't feel right. No one would take responsibility for you, nobody would claim you. He may as well.

That's how he ends up in front of the holding cell at 3 in the morning. He's still dressed from work because he hadn't left the station yet. His son was (he prayed) still sleeping soundly in his apartment off Princeton's campus. The same could clearly not be said for you. You are in the same baggy clothes you're usual donning, dark circles decorated your undereyes. If he didn't know any better, he'd think you're on something hard.

Your eyes don't light up like he expects them to each time you're both in this situation. It's almost like a kin to dread, or pure exhaustion.

"If you're that inconvenienced, commit a crime closer to a different precinct," he mutters as the night shift cop slides the barred door open and you step through, just narrowly avoiding Mark's large frame and he follows behind you. At the booking station, Helen presents your possessions back to you.

"One cell phone, a wallet with a driver's license, library card, fortune ticket and father's credit card-we've already called- a pack of cigarettes and a Bic lighter."

You grab it all and shove it into the deep pockets of your jacket. Mark nods in gratitude at Helen and when you turn to the direction of the exit, Mark has a firm hand on your shoulder and he's steering you towards his office.

You've been in Mark's office a couple other times. Once, when you and Sam first moved in together and he wanted to introduce you to his father, and once for the first time you and the holding cell had become acquainted. The two other times you'd ended up at the police station, you'd been lucky enough to avoid this room again. But not this time.

You shake your head and slump in one of the chairs as Mark closes the door behind him. He sighs heavily and drops himself into his desk chair, and for a moment you both sit in your shared exhaustion.

"Does Sam know where you are?" His voice is groggy when he speaks. You pick at the chipped paint on your nails.

"Hope not. I left after he fell asleep. I don't like to make him worry when I leave."

Mark smirks humorlessly and stares at the ceiling tiles.

"How considerate."

"Just don't bail me out next time."

"Oh don't worry. I won't. There better not be a next time. But if there is, you'll get no help from me."

His eyes are staring sternly into your own now. You didn't have much to be proud of anymore, but you could always be proud of managing to hold Mark Hoffman's stare.

"I don't have a report. I'm tired. Can I go home?"

"You got money for a cab?"

"No."

"A subway pass?"

"I'll hop the guards."

"Like hell you will. Fine," he pushes himself up from his seat and throws on his jacket. "Come on. I'm driving you home."

You have half a mind to put up a useless fight but you're too tired, so instead you follow silently out to the parking lot and climb into the passenger side of Mark's car. He gets in and tightens his grip on the steering wheel.

"When was the last time you ate?"

You shrug. Mark curses under his breath and starts the car.

"Fine. Food first."

A half hour later, you and Head Detective Mark Hoffman are sitting outside a 24/7 bodega, devouring sandwiches and a couple of sodas. You don't even mind that the food isn't hot, you're just glad to have something on your stomach.

"Alright, so," Mark wipes his mouth and clasps his hands together. "Trespassing?"

"It didn't hurt anybody."

"Nobody but yourself."

"I'm fine."

"You know they've been exploding deeper into that quarry, right? What if you'd gone near some active explosive? Or tripped in the dark and fell 250 something feet?"

"Then Mom would have some company."

He fights the urge to grab you, only to shock the thoughts from your head. But he's too shocked.

Your mother disappeared seven months ago. Five months ago, she was found at the bottom of the quarry outside of town. Maybe it was murder, maybe it was accidental. Either way, there was a closed casket.

You almost feel guilty for the way you've stunned mark into silence, but the feeling passed quickly.

"How would your father feel if he knew that's where you were tonight?"

"He'd have to be sober enough to comprehend a single thought. My money's on the likelihood that he's in no such state."

"Fine. What about Sam?"

"I won't tell if you don't."

"Well, I've got half a mind to."

You chuckle and feel the tears prick at your eyes. "Heh. Right, just pawn me off on him. Great fathering techniques, Mark. Seriously. I'll not just become someone else's problem, but your son's. My best friend's. And soon he'll get fed up and drop me, too."

"Enough with the pity play."

"Why? It's all true. You don't give a shit so it's not like I could guilt you."

Mark crumples up his sandwich wrapper with ire and tosses it into a nearby bin. He straightens out his trousers and stands. Stares down at you. From here, you look like a stranger. Not a girl, not his son's roommate and best friend, not a woman on the verge of unravelling, but some other being that has attached itself onto his heart and follows him around like a curse.

He'd loved you for a while. He'd hated you for just as long. The way you drag yourself down, the way you endanger Sam along the way. But the way you smile and how you shine when you have your shit together- there were as many good memories as bad ones in the short span of time you'd known each other.

He can't decide who he's looking at and doesn't stop staring until you look up at him. He shakes his head, looks out onto the street, then offers a hand to help you up. You take it without hesitation and you both get back into the car.

"I really don't wanna take you back to the apartment."

"I don't wanna go back. To wake up Sam is bad enough the day before finals, but to do it with his dad in tow is not much better."

Mark grumbles. "Couch?"

You nod. "Couch."

You've done the couch routine one other time, and it wasn't any of the times you'd been arrested. This incident was midwinter, during one of your episodes where you decided to walk in the freezing snow with no direction. Sam had called Mark in a panic, Mark knew your routes well enough to find you quick. It was closer to go back to his place, and he made careful work of warming you up and assuring Sam that you were safe. After that, you and Mark formed a mutual understanding that the less Sam knew, the better.

Mark's apartment was that of the poster child for a bachelor. After Sam went off to Princeton, Mark and his wife had nothing keeping their tenuous marriage together so the divorce was quiet and amicable. Now, Mark works too much to seek any remedy to that.

All that being said, Mark keeps his place nice, and his leather couch beckons you immediately. You collapse onto it and you can hear Mark halt over you.

"You're gonna sleep in jeans?"

"I didn't pack my overnight bag," you mumble into the material. Mark sighs. Leaves the room, comes back, tosses a bundle of clothes on top of you. You sit up and unfold them. PPD sweatpants and a faded t-shirt.

"How scandalous," you mutter, too tired to censor your words.

"Be uncomfortable for all I care."

Mark busies himself with removing his tie and you stand and hobble to the bathroom to change. From the kitchen area he can hear you sniffle and cough, changing otherwise quietly before reentering the living room. His breath hitches when he sees you in his clothes. He can't remember the last time he saw you in something that actually fit but clothes always left plenty to the imagination. And Mark did imagine.

You rub your eyes and stumble to the kitchen sink, grabbing a coffee mug and filling it with water. He watches as your throat strains when you devour the water like you were born thirsty. You'd just had a soda, but of course you're dehydrated. You don't take care of yourself during your episodes. He knows it just kills Sam. He knows, because he feels the same way.

He can't understand why you and Sam never became an item, even for a brief time. He was proud to call Sam his son, the way he's smart and kind, and you're funny and intelligent when you decide to be, and beautiful. So beautiful. Whether you're made up and presentable or on his couch, in his clothes, looking like death.

He only realizes he's staring when he blinks and you're staring back from the sink.

"Mark?"

He squeezes his eyes shut and yawns. "Sorry. Tired. You know where everything is if you need it."

"Yeah," you say, but your voice is thicker than it should be. It's no mystery that Mark Hoffman is an attractive man. Gruff and grumpy and yet does everything in his power to take care of you. Sam does the same, but you're so scared of ruining him. You don't run that risk with Mark.

You can't ever pin down exactly what it is you like so much about him. Maybe it's his thick arms and large hands, or his dumb hair, or his asshole smirks and the way his praise and compliments light you up inside. How he talks to you like an equal, even in these times. Everyone walks on eggshells around you. He's a hardass. You love him for it.

Mark senses a shift and taps the counter decisively.

"Listen-"

"No," he shakes his head. "No, don't."

But you stand and he doesn't move.

"I'm not doing anything."

Except you are. You're moving towards him and he can't find the strength to move away.

"It's too late to do this-"

"Do what?" You ask in faux innocence. You're not the teasing type, but you're just desperate to know if he'll fess up or not. You already know you're screwed.

"You know."

You bite your lip and take a small satisfaction when the movement captures his eyes.

"Mark, no one sees me like you do."

"That's not true," he lies.

"It is, but it's okay."

You place your hands on his chest and he stops breathing. Doesn't move.

"So long as you know, I don't do it for attention. I've been this way before I ever met you or Sam."

"I know," he says breathlessly.

"Do you want to touch me?" You ask. He exhales and trembles. He's only thought about it shamefully in the dark of his bedroom or his office about a hundred times. To caress the sides of you that he suspects have gone untouched for too long. To hold you gently and yet assure you that no one else will be touching you for a long time.

He's quiet for too long. You take a hand and bring it under the shirt that swallows your torso, sliding his palm against your tummy. He exhales through his nose.

"I want you to touch me. And I want to touch you."

His hand burns onto your soft skin and you continue to move it up until his fingers grace the curve of your breast.

And just like that he yanks his hand back and stands, pushing away from you.

"Mark-"

"Go to sleep. Don't think about this anymore."

Easy enough for him to say. You both know that you'll go to your respective beds (well, bed and couch) and you'll be kept awake by the thought. But you don't argue. Only watch as he stalks down the hall and fights with himself, until he closes the bedroom door behind him. You sigh and lay down on the couch, grabbing a nearby throw blanket but deciding you're too hot for it right now.

And in his room, Mark paces the floor. He slowly removes one article of clothing after the other, ends up sitting on the edge of his bed in a shirt and boxers, fingers pressed to his lips, eyes glued to the door.

He's waiting for you. If you come knocking, he'll let you in. But he can't go to you. He can't. That would seal his fate.

But the thought of you so warm and ready for him, so inviting and strong willed...his resolve is wavering.

And it doesn't take fifteen minutes before he's walking back to the couch.

And you rise and meet him halfway, and there's only a moment's hesitation before his lips crash into yours and his hands are returning to where you'd placed them before. Mark will convince himself that you initiated the kiss. You'll let him have that lie. Whatever seals your fate together. Whatever keeps you both coming back together.

[heyiwrotesomethings]

yor x femaler reader. friends to lovers

so yor is on an undercover mission on ball?and is almost caught by the bodyguards of the target when she is dragged into an alley way,after being chased, by reader and she keeps her quiet before a gunshot is heard near them and they are found.

Things happen and yor is knocked out and bound in a ware house were they try to interrogate her.

KEY WORD: try

Reader goes and commits h0moc!d3

Ballroom Blitz

Yor Briar x She/Her Reader

A/N: I know this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but I was unsure how to best carry it out so I tried to make it a little easier for myself. I can promise you that Reader does commit homicide though! For added fun, I thought about the song The Ballroom Blitz by Sweet while writing this, so if anyone wants to give that a listen, feel free. Thanks for reading! Word Count: ~1,465

“The target is in the back of the room in the burgundy suit, see him?” (Y/n) murmured into the minuscule communications device tucked snuggly in her ear. She hid the movement of her lips behind the champagne flute in her hand.

“Yes, I see him.” She heard Yor reply.

(Y/n)’s eyes drifted to the opposite corner of the busy room to find Yor navigating between the dancing couples in her signature black dress.

“Use caution, those men around him are trained bodyguards.”

“What would I ever do without your help (Y/n), thank you.”

(Y/n) could hear the genuine gratitude in Yor’s voice and smiled behind the lip of her champagne flute.

“Any time, partner.”

(Y/n) stood vigil in her corner and watched Yor slowly make her way through the dancing and chatting aristocrats, politely denying any offers to dance along the way. She briefly turned her eyes back on the man in the back of the ballroom. Well, it was supposed to be brief, but looking at the man, she saw how nervous he looked as he nursed another glass of wine. A red rather than a white this time around, he must have finished off the previous bottle on his own. No one would think anything was amiss if he suddenly toppled over once Yor slipped the poison into his never-ending drink.

Yet his nervous behavior concerned (Y/n). Was he expecting something to go wrong for him tonight? Had someone tipped him off?

(Y/n) saw movement at the target’s left and peered over at the well-dressed, snooty looking woman stiffly walking over with a large binder in her hands. On closer inspection, (Y/n) noticed it was the guest book and silently cursed as the woman hung over the target’s shoulder and pointed out Yor from the crowd.

“Yor, we’ve been compromised. Retreat and regroup—“

“Everyone attack!” The man shrilled over the fanciful classical music that filled the ballroom, jabbing a desperate finger in Yor’s direction as he practically crawled over the woman with the guest book to run away with his hands raised to the sky.

The bodyguards and even more men who had been disguised as waitstaff leapt into action and began lunging and shooting at Yor, flinging the ballroom into chaos.

“Shit—” (Y/n) pulled her gun free from its hiding place and aimed it at the ceiling, firing off a single shot. “Everyone who doesn’t have a stake in this fight, get down!”

Most of the people fell to the ground in an array of screams and shouts before they began scuttling away like cockroaches. How undignified. For some reason the small orchestra was still playing though, and for that (Y/n) had to give props. That, and they seemed to switch to something more energetic to match the hectic scene.

“(Y/n), go after the target!” Yor yelled into her mic, making (Y/n) wince, “I’ll hold them off here.”

(Y/n) wanted to disagree, but they really didn’t have another choice. If their target got away, then that wiggly little mole would never be seen again.

“Don’t die on me, Briar!” (Y/n) warned, dodging a bodyguard’s punch before elbowing him hard in the stomach and sending him to the ground with the bridge of his nose crushed into his skull.

Yor sent her a wink from the other side of the ballroom as she sliced another man’s jugular open while dodging a spray of bullets. It was strangely artistic, almost like a dance with the music still playing, a very bloody, violent dance.

But now wasn’t the time for (Y/n) to ogle her best friend, she had a cowardly little mole to catch up with.

She disposed of a few more bodyguards on the way out of the ballroom and kicked the double doors open, catching sight of the target as he scrambled around the corner. She ran after him and the ballroom’s double doors swung shut with a heavy thud, muffling the music and gunfire within.

After littering the halls with a few more bodies, she had cornered the target. She almost felt bad for the man sniveling and cowering beneath the elegantly carved mahogany table and red velvet table cloth, an expensive antique vase smashed against the ground and scattered around him in his hurry to hide underneath.

“Please, don’t kill me! I’ll pay you triple what you’re being paid!” He pleaded, eyes red from crying.

“Afraid I can’t do that, sir. This is the risk you run when you deal in selling sensitive information,” (Y/n) reloaded her gun and took aim, “No amount of money can save you when you piss off all the wrong people.”

She ended it with one shot, putting the man out of his misery quickly and only taking the time to check that he was truly dead before rushing back down the maze of hallways back to the ballroom to assist Yor in anyway she could.

“Yor, I eliminated the target. Retreat.” (Y/n) spoke through the communicator. She waited a few moments, but heard no reply, “Yor, respond… Yor? Shit.”

(Y/n) picked up the pace, becoming more worried the closer she got without word from Yor. She couldn’t hear the orchestra anymore, they must have wised-up and split. She slammed the doors open and her eyes were immediately drawn to the middle of the room where Yor was struggling beneath a mob of bodyguards while one stood in front of the dog pile, breathing heavily.

They all looked in pretty bad shape, Yor had given them hell, but they had overpowered her with their numbers and the one left standing was fumbling with his gun, spilling bullets onto the floor as he hurriedly tried to reload while his comrades yelled at him to work faster while trying to keep Yor down.

(Y/n) trained her gun on the man, “Drop it!” She warned.

But the man only tried to load it faster, earning him one of (Y/n)’s own bullets.

“(Y/n)!” Yor called out.

She looked happy enough to see her, but the weight of the people on top of her made her voice sound strained and (Y/n) could already see a bruise forming on her cheek and that made her furious. The time for offering warnings was over, now they had to pay.

(Y/n) fired off the last of her bullets to take out a good portion of the pile before running up on them and striking another man with the barrel of her gun with incredible speed and accuracy. It was then that the rest of the dog pile caught up with what was happening and tried to retaliate by fighting back or putting more pressure on Yor, but (Y/n) was swift in painting the ballroom floors with their blood. So swift in fact, that she hadn’t realized she had moved at all, the only thing waking her from her trance of violence was Yor’s hug.

“(Y/n), it’s over! You did it!” She beamed.

“I… did it. I did it—!“ (Y/n) cupped Yor’s face in her bloody hands, “Are you okay? What am I saying, of course you aren’t, you’re all bruised and scratched up!”

Yor didn’t seem bothered by (Y/n)’s bloodied hands at all. In fact, she cupped her own hands over them to press them even closer to her face.

“I’m okay,” she assured chipperly, “you don’t need to worry so much!”

“I love you, so of course I’m going to worry if you’re hurt! No matter how superficial the wound—“ (Y/n) stopped abruptly, had she really just said that out loud? Looking at Yor’s expression, she definitely did.

In the past, she had let a few things slip that she had later fretted over, a few actions too, but Yor was mercifully oblivious. However, (Y/n) had never flat out told her she loved her before! Even Yor couldn’t be that oblivious, not while they stood so close together with their fingers threaded together against her cheeks.

“I- I mean—“

“I love you too!” Yor blurted passionately despite how flustered she appeared, “I was worried about you going after the target alone, and when we get separate assignments I get really worried too! I can’t go to sleep until I hear you enter the apartment.”

“You too?!”

“Yeah!”

They heard the sound of someone’s throat clearing and they leapt into defensive stances until they realized it was the orchestra organizing themselves back into position. The conductor led the orchestra into the first few notes of a song before craning their head back to give the women an encouraging nod. An unflappable bunch of musicians to say the least.

“Want to dance?” (Y/n) asked.

Yor’s eyes shimmered and she nodded excitedly, bringing (Y/n)’s hands to her waist before eagerly bringing her arms around her neck as the music began to pick up.

[rachelsrandomwritings]

Wishing On a Star That's Just a Satellite

Ahhh ok, I haven't written anything in years, but I have recently become obsessed with BES and felt like I needed to write about Mizu so here is my probably trash attempt. Also based on the line from the song Satellite by All time Low

Modern! Mizu x Fem! Reader

y/n loved Mizu.  She loved the way her eyebrows furrowed when she was concentrating. Loved Mizu’s commitment to any task she undertook, never able to do anything halfway. y/n loved her dry wit and ability to think of a comeback to any jab. She loved her loyalty. Loved the way she protected her friends. She loved her strength and her ability to make a stand when necessary. She loved her eyes and the way they almost seemed to shine. She loved her with every part of her soul, but more and more she realized that might not be enough.

The two had met in their first year of college, while stuck in a new student orientation class. y/n noticed Mizu as soon as she walked into the lecture, silently hoping the girl would sit somewhere close by. By some stroke of luck, Mizu took the seat diagonally behind y/n. While bummed she wouldn’t be able to see her, y/n sent up thanks when the proximity allowed them to be put in a group together for the semester-long project. It was that very group that would become y/n’s closest friends in college. Though giving only a mediocre presentation for the final Akemi, Ringo, Taigen, Mizu, and y/n left the class tightly bonded. The group did everything together, study dates in the library, movie nights rotating between apartments, and crashing frat parties whenever they got the chance. Those nights were particularly fun with Mizu and Taigen always finding ways to show off against the brothers until the group was eventually kicked out. 

It was through these collected interactions that y/n got to know the girl who had caught her eye back on the very first day. The more she learned the harder she fell. She listened intently any time Mizu talked about her past, living with an adoptive father growing up in his auto repair shop. It was clear from the way she talked that her past had shaped the woman she was today, and y/n wanted nothing more than to know all of the little details, to understand the girl who made her heart beat so fast. When all of the friends were around y/n could mostly keep her nerves and feelings under control, but anytime the two of them were only she suddenly lost her ability to keep up a conversation, responding too quickly and never knowing what to say next.

It was silly for y/n to think none of their other friends would notice, and before too long Akemi cornered her with questions. Unable to deny it, y/n revealed the strong crush that had been growing for months. Thankfully Akemi promised not to tell right away but encouraged y/n to express her feelings. Too shy and afraid of the consequences not only for herself but also for the friend group y/n decided she had no choice but to get over Mizu. She pushed away thoughts of the girl throwing herself into her studies. She stopped showing up to friend group events in an attempt to clear her mind. 

That was until one night, out with another group of friends and admittedly a little too drunk, y/n ran into Mizu, literally. y/n was walking off the dance floor stumbling to refill her cup when suddenly she found herself caught in the toned arms of the girl she tried so hard to forget. y/n looked up, breath hitching and her eyes made contact with the ice-blue ones. “y/n” Mizu stated bluntly looking at the girl in her arms, “It's been a while.” y/n’s mind raced attempting to come up with an excuse for her absence, but instead decided to ignore the comment. “I’m so sorry I didn't mean to run into you, I was just headed that way.” y/n said pointing in a random direction and attempting to slip out of Mizu’s grasp and get away as quickly as possible. She started walking only to find herself being pulled back gently by the wrist, y/n turned back cautiously curious. Mizu cleared her throat, “they all really miss you.” She stated, taking a step toward y/n. Feeling braver than she ever had, y/n stepped in as well. “What about you, do you miss me?” Mizu’s eyebrows furrowed surprised at y/n’s words. “Of course I miss you, we’re friends.” y/n felt the word ‘friends’ cut through her heart like a knife. Unable to control herself y/n responded, “Yeah friends why can’t it ever be more than friends?” y/n felt the tears roll down her cheeks, and leaned her head against Mizu’s shoulder. Shocked by y/n words Mizu took a second trying to understand what had just happened. Before too long she gently grabbed y/n’s chin tilting it up to look at the girl’s face. y/n looked at her, embarrassment for the words she had just said filling her stomach, she began to apologize but was cut off by the feeling of Mizu’s lips of hers. y/n relaxed immediately into the kiss stepping in closer and wrapping her arms around Mizu’s neck. 

In the following weeks the two would meet constantly attempting to figure out what everything meant, and where they stood with each other. After years of pining y/n couldn’t believe that Mizu was finally hers. y/n made her way back into the friend group apologizing for her behavior, and the group celebrated when the two announced their relationship. Everyone was warm and supportive, caring so much about their two friends and loving the joy they brought one another. On their first official date, Mizu planned a picnic to watch the sunset at a local land preserve and the couple found themselves laying out for hours discussing any and everything. The night began to grow dark and the star shone brightly. Seeing a flash of light y/n gasped point up at the heavens. “Did you see that, I think that was a shooting star!.” Mizu grabbed her hand humming in response, smiling at the excitement on y/n’s face. “Ok so now we both have to make a wish!” y/n said closing her eyes tightly knowing exactly what she would ask for. She opened one eye peeking over at Mizu to see if she was making her own wish. Seeing her eyes shut y/n waited until they opened, and asked the question everyone knows can never be answered. “So what did you wish for?”, Mizu just shook her head a light smile on her lips. “You know I can’t tell you that. If I do it won’t come true, and I want this one to come true.” y/n pouted curious about what the wish might be, but all was resolved when Mizu rolled toward her and kissed the pout off of her lips. 

Their relationship continued to grow and in the time y/n came to find out what she hated about Mizu. Mizu was insecure with a tendency to push everyone away. Her past relationships had ruined her ability to trust or rely on anyone other than herself. She much favored dealing with things on her own. Any problem was immediately bottled up, or solved with force. When trying to address concerns between them Mizu often got defensive, fighting back against any attempt by y/n to work on things Arguments led to silence and avoidance. In one fight it took two weeks for y/n to get more than a passing comment out of Mizu, which hurt. y/n did everything in her power to be available for the other girl but found that Mizu still kept up high walls. It hurts to give your all to someone and be blocked out in return. It hurt to be in the corner of someone who tried their best to kick you out. y/n found herself countless times crying to Akemi about the pain of loving someone who refused to let you in when it really mattered. Sitting on the corner of the bed, the girl she loved curled up sleeping, y/n knew what had to be done. She knew that until Mizu had worked on herself, the two of them would never work. She cried silently as she wrote a goodbye note. She folded the note, standing to place it on the nightstand, before leaning down and placing a light kiss on Mizu’s temple. She grabbed the bag she had packed earlier and walked out, knowing that her wish from all those months ago could not be fulfilled now, but hoping one day they might be brought back together. Hoping that it really was a shooting star and not just a satellite.

[majestick-posts-op]

My personal rating and ranking of Luffy's father figures from worst to best

7) Garp (-100000/10)

Yeah, I don't even need to elaborate on this at all. Cause like... we all know how much Garp sucks. We all know how he valued his job and loyalty to the marines more than the actual safety of his family. How he says that he cares... but he truly doesn't do anything at all. AND THAT'S BARELY SCRATCHING THE SURFACE!!! Because in all of Luffy's childhood... I don't think there was a single moment where he was just... kind? Canonically at least. It was always launching your 3 year old in the jungle, in a ravine, in the fucking air tied to baloons just so you can fuck off and do what YOU want. It was awlays ignoring every single one of his dreams. And not only that because while thinking that a life as a pirate isn't ideal is fair, forcing your own phisosophies on your kid and forcefully msking them choose the carrer YOU want isn't. No wonder Dragon is the way he is! And he made Luffy's abbandonment issues WORSE by leaving him in another random place with other random people. And this is only the stuff we saw about Garp... we never saw a house where he lived in any flashback. Did Garp stay in the marine's headquarters? Did Luffy fucking sleep outside in the forest? Luffy looked so exited when Makino got him a shirt. Did Garp never get Luffy clothes? Did he just used random rags he had laying around? When Luffy only got a bowl of rice and a cup of water to eat he said that it was better than what Garp gave him. Did he fucking starve Luffy by making him hunt for all he ever ate since he was a fucking toddler? IS THAT WHY LUFFY IS HALF OF GARP'S SIZE???

But worst of all... he was never there! Not when he got kidnapped, not when they almost burned him alive, not when Ace died, and he never will.

Garp truly did not care enough. And that is what hurts the most.

I'm removing all of his ppint and shoving him into the void.

6) Shanks (6.5/10)

Okay so I'm a little conflicted about Shanks. He has many good things about him. He inspired Luffy and supported his dream, and has shown to be very caring and affectionate. He taught him that some fights are not worth it and that he shouldn't be too hung up on certain things. That's good. But he also indirectely caused him to commit self harm, took a crying bleeding 7 year old in a bar full of alchool, lied to him about what happenned to his best friend, and then he just... dissappeared. I don't fully blame him since he isn't Luffy's primary caretaker, that was GARP and Shanks is already infinitely better since he supported his dream. But Shanks does have this theme where he is bad at communication and doesn't fully commit to certain things. We saw it with Buggy. But hey, at least he gave Luffy that really good advice that its okay to cry but you have to move on. Expect that he never said it directely to his face (or out loud for what matters) and he was only at marineford for 30 seconds.

I'm removing one ppint for him being an idiot, another for abbandonment, and another and a half points for general flaws.

5) Dragon (7/10)

I think people tend to be a bit too hard on Dragon. He was starting a revolution, of course he couldn't have taken care of him for his own safety. And he sadly had no other choice so sadly GARP raised Luffy. I can't rate him any higher tho because we just never really saw him parent Luffy... apart from that one time when he saved him, but then he dissappeared. Still can't believe he raised Sabo instead of him honestly.

I'll remove one point for abbandonment, another point for giving him to his father and a last one for bad eyebrows and bigass forehead genes.

4) Crocodile (adding him because I said so) (7.5/10)

All things considered, Croc didn't exatcly have the best starting point. (He arguably had the worst) But he was 100% one of the most helpful people to Luffy during marineford.

Not only did he save Ace despide hating Whitebeard, but he also blocked Doflamingo's attack and helped him break out. HE WAS MORE HELPFUL THAT GARP GODDAMMIT!!! So maybe Croc's heart isn't exatcly in the right place... but he seems to do much better now.

I'm removing one point for abbandonment and one and a half points for almost killing him.

3) Franky (8.5/10)

Much like croc, Franky didn't have the best start with Luffy, and we don't really see much of just the two of them since he is closer with Usopp, but the few scenes they have togheter paint a pretty good picture. Firstly both Luffy and Franky share an interents in stuff like beams and robots, and Franky is willing to show off for him so in return Luffy does admire this side of him. Franky also tries to avoid toxic masculinity, and never forces Luffy into anything while supporting him unlike GARP. In Dressrosa Franky really looked after and accompanied Luffy to assist him in retrieving Ace's fruit, which Franky understands was very hard for him. He is rensponsable and doesn't let Luffy do anything stupid (like revealing his name) and later that arc there's that one super cute scene where Luffy is just sleeping and Franky is there looking at him while smiling/crying and...

Look at him!!! He's so dad material!!!

Removing one point for hurting Usopp and half a point for mildly enabaling him.

2) Rayleigh (9/10)

Like many others, Rayleigh was also very helpful during the summit war saga, specifically the post war arc. He was with Luffy during his worst time and helped him get through them. Not only that, but he also trained him. Execpt that unlike GARP who would just launch Luffy into a ravine and exept him to get out by himself so he can leave and fuck off where he wants, Rayleigh stuck around and not only gave him useful advice and lessons, but also prevented him from doing things that would have hurt his body like using to much haki. It didn't work but still, he mastered the art of being hard but still very much caring and being present. Plus it was so heart warming seeing him helping Luffy and how much he reminds him of Roger.... Uncle Rayray I love you!!! Give me your wife!!!

Removing one point for... lack of screentime? I guess, I'm not sure.

1) Jimbei (15/10)

We all know that fishdad is the best period, but I really wanna analize him. Jimbei was possibly the one who helped Luffy the most when he came to... everything? I mean he saved him from Akainu, stood by his side when he was still unconscious from his operation, stopped him from committing self harm or worse, comforted him trough his grief and tears, gave him his blood thus saving his life and showing just how much he loved him, offrred to guide him in accomplishing his dream, came back each and every time he was needed, because Luffy needs somebody like him that can ground him and make him reflect but also respect and love him, he believed in Luffy so much to go againsts a Yonko TWICE, and one of these times it was literally a face to face with the scariest person on Earth.

But the best part? Jimbei truly cares about all the young. The new generation that should be hate free and happy. The new generation he fought for multiple times. He knows Luffy can be a major figure in that, but he also just cares for him. He loves Luffy. Unconditionally. I know I may be repeating myself but he is 100% what Luffy needed when he needed it. And I will not shut up about this. Ever.

Bonus:

Trademark dad hawaian shirt.

Adding 5 point for being handsome.

[invisiblerambler]

Shapiro and Luka are the Logical Alternatives to Carmy

Notice I said logical. Shapiro is a version of Carmy that is less driven, less visionary, and more traditional. He doesn't have any kind of vision for his own restaurant, he is leaving the 'vibe' completely up to Syd. He is I'm sure very talented, but doesn't have what Carmy has. It may be a partnership, but if Syd is coming up with everything for someone else, she may not even be the face of it. If she picks the path with Shapiro it is safe, it is logical, and it would boost her career, but it's not daring. For all of his faults, The Bear would cement her legacy. It pushes boundaries in fine dining (at it's best) that I don't think a restaurant with Shapiro would. Not to mention, will Shapiro push her the way Carmy does? Almost undoubtedly no, because he already praises her unequivocally. That's not actually what she wants. Syd's entire conflict this season is picking something stable and logical over the thing that she's passionate about. The Bear after all is the thing, the potential restaurant with Shapiro isn't because it doesn't represent the same type of passion or challenge as The Bear. I saw someone say (apologies I don't remember who) that S1 Syd would have already taken the agreement. Personally, I don't agree with that, because at every turn, we have seen her make the passionate choice not the logical one.

Carmy even clocks it when she comes to stage, he knows just as well as she does that she could work almost anywhere she wants and she chooses The Beef, chooses him. Her coming back at the end of S1 isn't logical. Most people would run far in the other direction, but not only does she come back, but she commits to creating and running a restaurant with this person.

Up until friends and family, Sydney has to defend her choices to her father at almost every turn. There's no money, no firm commitment, and she doesn't even tell him about the partnership agreement, probably because she doesn't want to know what he has to say. Not because she thinks he'll say she shouldn't do it but because he will affirm what she already believes, which is that The Bear is the thing.

It is incredibly hard when the people you want most in your life to tell you not to do something, and would expect that from him, say exactly the opposite. I think that's why she hasn't told him she doesn't want to sign. She doesn't want to get into it. Which is understandable!

Now, Luka. Listen I am firmly on team whatever makes Syd happy, and if them having a cutie little fling will make her happy, which I think it would. I would love it, and on top of that I want to see Carm be jealous so bad. That man has no poker face and it would make me howl in delight. Luka has also done the work and literally as Syd says repurposed his trauma. He represents what Carmy can be if he figures out his shit. And I think he wouldn't be a placeholder, but could be illuminating for everyone about what they really want. Let Syd be happy for a second to figure out what's really going on! I see nothing, nothing wrong with that. Like Cicero points out, Carmy is like a 3 year old with too many crayons. LET'S TAKE SOME CRAYONS AWAY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.