#it's not just election stress i have other things going on that i don't want to get into
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as a reminder to anyone who needs a little hope tonight:
not all votes have been counted. the red majority across the senate, house, and white house may still happen, but it might not be as bad as it looks because mail-in votes typically lean blue. we might win a few seats back.
a few seats/contentious races have already gone in favor of democrats. thats a good sign.
if god forbid everything does go red, this is not the end. many of the policies trump wants to put in place would require constitutional amendments. he doesnt have the 2/3rds support he needs for that in congress even with the current projections. its close.
we don't have to survive another four years. just two. hang on for 2 years, and 33 (out of 100) senate seats are up for grabs. all house seats are, too. we can flip it blue and stop trump. after losing this election, the democrats and the country is going to be ready for a change, just like it was in 2018.
trump is old. trump is not healthy. i wouldn't be surprised if the stress of the job will genuinely kill him or make him incapable of leading. i cant say if vance would be worse or not, but that does change the game significantly.
please don't lose hope. things look dire, but you're here now. you got through 2016, even if you didn't get through as safely or as happily as you would have liked. don't let the doomerism rhetoric of the election get to you. that's meant to make you want anything other than a trump presidency—to make you think you couldn't survive without the alternative. it looks like we'll have to.
and we can. we will.
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I will be blocking Trumpists as I spot them.
I will also be blocking anyone I identify as a Stein voter, anyone I can ID as "I can't vote for Kamala because she doesn't share ALL my values," anyone who says "eh it's all the same; they're all corrupt," and anyone who says "voting just perpetuates the oppression," and so on.
Are those evil people? No, not all of them. Not even all the Trumpists.
Do we need them to build a better world, to make the communities we want to happen? Yes.
But I don't need them in my Tumblr feed.
If they want to talk politics with me, they can meet me at the coffee-and-pastry shop at my local train station. They can ask for an invite to my weekend tea parties. They can join FAPA and we can chat via quarterly paper fanzine exchange. They can show up at Worldcon next year and find me between panels.
Oh, they're not local to me, not in scifi fandom, don't like tea, don't go to conventions?
Well, then I'm certainly never going to notice any results from blocking them.
My focus for the next few years is boots-on-the-ground solidarity and support. Online is for my happy fluff time break from stress, and strategizing with other people with similar activist goals. I am not going to waste that time arguing with people shilling for fascists, no matter how innocently uninformed they are.
There are people whose ignorance is understandable and not their fault. But if there here - on Tumblr, in the politically-active progressive areas online - they can damn well figure things out for themselves. There are plenty of resources for them; I no longer have time or energy for spoon-feeding fascist apologists.
(Oh, but if they have an epiphany and get better, won't I still be blocking them, now that they are potential allies? Fuck yes. I have plenty of people to talk with, more than I have time for. I am focusing on the ones who didn't fuck us all over in the 2024 election. If I run out of those, maybe I'll consider unblocking.)
("Hey elf, nobody fuckin' cares who you block." Um, fine? I am not here to be an Influencer. I am here to help my friends and find enjoyable fannish content. I am setting personal block policies for me, not to change the shape of social media.)
The "if you voted for Trump unfollow me" posts are returning, but given then general makeup of your average tumblr user I think there's a different message I'd like to give.
If you didn't vote because "both parties are the same" or "it won't make a difference" or because Kamala wasn't the pure and perfect leader that you wanted or you "didn't want blood on your hands", honestly whether or not you follow me doesn't make a damned bit of difference. But I want you to look. Take a good look at the despair around you right now. And every godforsaken thing that follows I want you to fucking look. Look and know that you could have helped prevent it. We still haven't recovered from his last four years, the world hasn't fucking recovered, and now we're staring down the barrel of god knows how many more years and a river of fucking blood to come along with it.
But your pride and your principles were more important to you than the actual real fucking world we live in.
I hope, if nothing else, that you can take this in. I hope you learn. I hope you grow. I hope you find it in you to realize that in this country they soak our hands in blood the second we take our first breath and the only thing that matters then is what you fucking do with them. What you fight for. Who you fight for. Who you defend.
I hope you wake up. And you step up. And you fucking fight.
But until then. Don't you fucking dare look away.
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"time will tell" ... but what exactly?
i thought about making this reading because we are living at times when we all know that patience is a virtue, we all know that we should work on said virtue, and so on, yet, things move are always seemingly moving in the fastest chaotic way possible. for some of us, embracing uncertainty and the absurd ways of the universe is hard. so hopefully there's something in here that helps you to have a clearer vision on what is meant to come to you with time and experience.
dividers by: @bernardsbendystraws & @cafekitsune pngs by: @florietas
pile number one pile number two
pile number three pile number four
.‧͙˚ *༓ scroll down for the readings ⋆ִ ‧͙⁺˚
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before starting with this reading i just want to say that my heart goes to anyone on the united states that feels disappointed and is going through emotionally stressful situations due to the results of the elections. at times like this is important to find empowerment and safety by taking care of our peers and participating our communities, political organization is just as important as caring for one another. having a right wing president who borders fascism is not a great experience, i have my own alt right president here in south america, but surviving these moments is easier when you find strength alongside the people who share your ideals.
we don't owe tolerance to those who are intolerant, our time is always better spent when we are building the future we want or doing our best to face the adversities of the present. please, do not allow others to take away your humanity and your hopes.
・₊✧⋆ pile number one ⭒˚。⋆
If someone ever told you that your expectations are unrealistic, they are not wrong, but not entirely right either. I think you're someone who unconsciously tries to be aware of every possible outcome and every single detail, it's quite a hyper vigilant way of approaching things and also a quite anxiety inducing one. I wouldn't say your expectations are unrealistic, but I would definitely say they are realistic in the context of the millions of head scenarios you have going on. Some emotions are being limited by logic and some logics are being limited by emotion. There are plenty of experiences that are coming your way in order to give you the opportunity to be more present in the moment instead of experiencing things mostly in your head. You need time to further develop your judgment, as of now it is something that is in an adolescent state, not because of immature or juvenile thinking, but because you are going through a, hopefully, slightly painful phase of your mental growth. Think of it as existential growing pains. You might have too much information, too much to think about and too much to feel about, it's a very difficult moment for you to maintain a self perceived stable or coherent point of view at all times. Take this time to comprehend what's making you feel paralyzed and unable to move forward mentally, and then you can begin doing something about this conjunction of mental and emotional stress.
・₊✧⋆ pile number two ⭒˚。⋆
What I get from this combination of cards is that you are becoming more aware of the things that are threatening your higher self. From the Queen and the Page I can see that you are usually almost confident enough in what you bring to the table in terms of material achievements that are easily recognizable, although not always perceived or valued enough by yourself or others. I don't think I want to say there's someone or yourself gaslighting you into belittling yourself, but I do want to mention that it's likely that there's a sketchy energy near you or at least the cards are giving a heads up about negative reactions to you doing your thing and, to say simply, slaying it. What it is safe to say tho is that with time you will learn who is worthy of your generosity and your companion. It's key that you understand that any kind of success you achieve is not only valuable because of what you got from it, the value comes from what you did to get said achievements. With this in mind, don't hesitate to avoid others who drain your energy and misuse your time. Your presence by itself it's already enough for others to benefit at your cost. This is not something meant to give you a reason to be overly distrustful, this is to give you reasons to set boundaries, specially for yourself, in order to make sure whoever or whatever brings you down, it's out of your way. If people see the respect you have for yourself, it's more likely they are not even trying to waste your time.
・₊✧⋆ pile number three ⭒˚。⋆
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Being emotionally attached to the person you were in the past is obstructing your path towards further personal and existential growth. I definitely understand that sometimes the only thing that gives us a sense of stability is our own identity, and our power to define ourselves in our own terms. I don’t think you are afraid to grow or to evolve as a person, but I can see that right now you are resisting change by ignoring your intuitive need to expand your limits and find out about all the things, the positive and negative,that you choose to ignore because of old fears and anxieties. It’s very likely you know exactly what to do or what to keep and what to let go off, you certainly are aware of where to go and how to get there. What's conflicting with your ambitions right now is that you have exhausted yourself by never taking the time to appreciate how far you already are from plenty of situations that have restricted your authentic self. I honestly understand what it's like to make a lot of progress after moving away from tough situations only to realize there is more work to do in order to restore or find an integral state of peace of mind and contempt. In your case, you’re lucky because sooner or later your emotions will lead you to how you can be truthful to yourself and experience life without any of the weight from limiting perceptions that other people have imposed on you. Many things have limited time in our lives, don’t miss out on them.
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・₊✧⋆ pile number four ⭒˚。⋆
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Don't force yourself to be the first to do anything or the best at anything if you're comparing yourself to others. It is not fair to set your expectations about yourself by looking at what is supposably perfect or highly desirable, yet not a true reflection of what you as an individual can accomplish in a way that's genuine to your personal journeys. It's necessary that you embrace your experiences, putting yourself and your own ideals as the guide for what it means to advance and grow. Time will show you how to build a stronger confidence in your core beliefs and how to act upon them with the efficiency and courage you might be needing right now. This will develop as you become more comfortable with allowing yourself to fail, and to learn from said failures by setting structures to support the process of becoming more connected to a higher sense of self worth. You are going through a process in which key communicational aspects are at play; many of your personal achievements will depend on your ability to share your ideas with others before taking any kind of action, as many things you’ll do will have long lasting effects. This is why I would recommend making sure you can really align your actions, your communication and your goals directly to yourself and the roots of your ideals. Don’t hurry up, it takes time to evolve and you will certainly do so by comprehending how equally confused, disoriented and impulsive we all are, and how that’s nothing anyone can ignore for too long.
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if you enjoyed this post, maybe you should check out the rest of my account <3 and keep an eye open for ask games and a tarot reading giveaway (but lets not hurry too much about it please im still figuring out the logistics of a tumblr giveaway jajaja)
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a few things i've been doing and that you should do to help with feelings of anxiety/doom:
1) first, literally, disable notifications from news outlets apps, and stop watching live 24/7 tv news. like. at least, for me, it helps, because this shit triggers so much anxiety in me, and makes me spiral; i much prefer looking up the news from my own volition. even if it is also anxiety-inducing, it is not as overwhelming and i feel like i have some control/can process information better
2) spend time with your loved ones irl. hug them, talk about what you're feeling if this can help, or do an activity together that can distract you! back in april 2022, between the two rounds of the french election, i was having a full mental breakdown, and my mum took me on a day out, visiting local villages and just. getting out of the house and visiting other place and breathing fresh air helped a lot.
3) kind of a followup to 2) but, go on a walk ! pace around, breathe the outside air—i cannot stress it enough, it helps with calming down racing thoughts, at least for me :)
4) if you are having difficulty to eat/have no appetite, please, eat a little something anyway; having an empty stomach does not help. go for something easy to prepare and/or a safe food. i just had a banana and a bowl of cereal for lunch—not the most conventional lunch, i know, but at least, i ate something even though i wasn't feeling hungry and nothing motivated me to eat :')
5) if you are feeling intrusive thoughts, feeling like you are responsible for the outcome of this election, and feeling guilty for not doing enough — please, please, don't guilt-trip yourself. you did what you could. this is something way bigger than us, an accumulation of many things, including structural racism, inequalities in access to voting, the gradual rise of fascism, and the system being deeply flawed, all the harmful shit that stayed from the orange man's first term and which long-term consequences built up to this.
6) please, remember that your vote wasn't worthless. i promise. you did the right thing by getting out of your house, going to the polling station, waiting in line for hours to make your voice heard, and i am deeply thankful you did it. genuinely. and remember that this election was going to be close. i'm not saying that there isn't criticism to be made about people who refused to vote, or voted third party — they have a huge responsibility —, but you, the average person worried about the democracy, who showed up and voted blue? i do not want you to feel like your vote was useless and give up. please.
7) remember that very bad things have happened in the past too, yet we're still here. hang on this fact. we're alive, and we're here.
8) repeat of 2 but: you should hug your loved ones. and i am sending you hugs, too—especially if you're from a vulnerable demographic (a racial minority, LGBTQ+, etc.) 🫂 you are not alone!
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Thanks for being real today.
I get people wanting to be hopeful.
But I can't with "it will be okay" and "we will survive this."
It was not okay for Heather Heyer, Joseph Rosenbaum, Anthony Huber, Joyce Fienberg, Richard Gottfried, Rose Mallinger, Jerry Rabinowitz, Cecil & David Rosenthal, Bernice & Sylvan Simon, Daniel Stein, Melvin Wax, Irving Younger, Andre Anchondo, Jordan Anchondo, Arturo Benavides, Leonardo Campos, Angie Englisbee, Maria Flores, Raul Flores, Guillermo "Memo" Garcia, Jorge Calvillo García, Adolfo Cerros Hernández, Alexander Gerhard Hoffman, David Johnson, Luis Alfonzo Juarez, Maria Eugenia Legarreta Rothe, Maribel (Campos) Loya, Ivan Filiberto Manzano, Elsa Mendoza Marquez, Gloria Irma Márquez, Margie Reckard, Sara Esther Regalado Moriel, Javier Rodriguez, Teresa Sanchez, Juan Velazquez, or any of the other people killed by white supremacists whose actions were aided and abetted by the Trump presidency. These people did not survive. Not to mention all the people who haven't survived COVID, but might have if the Trump administration had taken timely action. Or the women who have died after being refused appropriate medical care because of the rapist and his buddies that Trump appointed decided with some weird pastor in the 1600 said was more important than the lives of actual living, breathing, human beings. Or the school children who would not have been shot to death if we had actual gun control laws in this country, a thing that would have been possible to achieve if Trump had lost in 2016.
Yeah, sure, the majority of us in the United States will probably survive. That's how statistics work. And if that's what somebody needs to hear in order to move forward, then I guess saying such things has a purpose. But it's looking pretty shitty for anybody living in Ukraine and to me, it comes across as disrespectful to the people whose lives have been lost in no small part thanks to what goes down in US elections.
I needed somebody today who would say not only that this is not okay, but this is *really* not okay.
Thanks for being that voice.
Thank you for this. I can't help but write what I feel, even if some of it hasn't been the most optimistic message to send. There is a reality that we need to come to terms with in order to find some way forward. I'm pissed off and I'm disgusted with this country, so I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing because it is therapeutic for me right now and I'm too old to go around punching and kicking people.
I do want to say that I'm also cognizant of the fact that some people just need some time to allow this reality to settle. I certainly don't want to add to the stress or darkness that some of us are feeling right now. There is no denying that this is fucking terrible, but we will regroup and find a way through it. It won't be easy and we're going to have to fight, but I don't want anybody to think that there is genuinely no hope. There's always something that we can do, even if it seems bleak.
If I'm writing something or somebody else is saying something that you're not ready to hear, it's okay to do what you need to do to remain healthy. These posts are going to be here whenever you might feel like reading them. You can and should step away from this if you just need a fucking break. It doesn't mean you're any less ready or willing to fight this battle than anybody else. Even if Trump and the rotten MAGA cult takes control of every lever of power, you can gain a personal victory by not allowing them to completely crush your faith in the future. You can be depressed and despair, but do not give up. Do not give them that power over you. We will find a way. We will get through this. We will figure out what it is that we need to do and who we need to back and how we need to attack, but taking care of your personal health and well-being is more immediately important than the bigger political battle or the next step in the resistance. Take care of yourselves first and we'll still be here and ready to eventually harness this anger and frustration and fucking disgust to defeat the MAGA movement and Trump's Christian nationalist personality cult.
The main thing, though, is that if you're really having a tough time in the immediate future, step away, take some time, go for a walk, read something that has absolutely nothing to do with Donald Trump or American politics (if you need suggestions, I always have book recommendations!), and regroup. Again, we'll get through this, and as goofy and weird and ridiculous as Tumblr can be at times, there's always a community of people on this site willing to listen and help each other when we're struggling. So, if you are having trouble getting to tomorrow, reach out because there are scores of people here who will help get there with you.
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Hi! I just wanted to say thanks for all of your posts - especially right now - and the messages of hope you put with them. I'm having a hard time with accepting the election results and what it means, so it's nice to see the encouragement and the reminder that we will get through it all. 🙂
Big, big hugs to you. I don't want to seem like I'm being glib about any of this: it's a really hard and scary time and I understand the tendency to panic. My stomach was in knots all last night, to the point I felt like I was going to throw up! I literally emptied out a trash can to put by my bed, just in case my stomach couldn't cope with the stress!
It's A Lot to cope with. Especially after the insanity and stress we've all experienced since the start of the pandemic. We're all exhausted and sad and burned out. Believe me, I know.
But I do believe that we can and will get through this. Obviously, none of us wanted to be called upon to live through this type of Major Historical Event. But we will not be the first set of people (nor the last) to face this kind of thing in their lifetime.
Famines and natural disasters happen. Unpleasant and malicious political regimes rise and fall. Plagues sweep through the land. It's part of how the world works. Nothing is ever perfect. We have always inhabited a flawed world and a flawed society.
But humans are, broadly speaking, really good at surviving things and a sense of community is our superpower. We can (and will) take care of each other. Humans can be awful, but we can also be so very wonderful.
And when I manage to persuade myself to step outside my bubble of human-centric concerns, I'm blown away by the sheer beauty and wonder of the world we get to live in. Even though it's flawed and imperfect, it's so lovely. It's downright magical sometimes.
I was opening a pomegranate the other day and just marveling at the seeds. How beautiful it is! And how lucky I am to get to be here, eating these sweet juicy seeds! How lucky I am to toss a small handful of seeds to the birds in my backyard, and watch them gobble down their food before fluttering up into the trees!
How lucky I am to send a photo of my pomegranate seeds to friends, and receive in return a picture of their dog, or their garden, or their new throw pillows! How lucky I was last night, in the midst of all my anxiety, to get to go outside as see a really spectacular sunset and share it with my loved ones!
We have a beautiful world full of beautiful creatures. We have so many fellow humans who see this beauty and want to protect it and share it with one another. We must not lose sight of that. Things are still good, and we will continue to take care of each other in the days ahead. 💖
#one of the great things about reaching the place i've reached in my life#is that i no longer care one bit about being Corny On Main#yes! the world is beautiful! even in spite of the horrors!#yes! i find real authentic joy in watching the birds outside my window!#yes! i unironically marvel at a beautiful piece of fruit!#yes! i love my friends and the members of my community with my whole heart and i believe love is going to carry us through!#i am no longer interested in edgy youthful cynicism or doomerism#we will love fully and crawl toward joy and that WILL make a difference in this world#positivity#hopepunk#cicer rambles
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Like many of you are, waking up to the news this morning was shocking, saddening, and worrying. And while I am a believer of getting every last count, the numbers don't look strong enough to flip these results, as unfortunate as that is. But unlike 8 years ago where I felt miserable, lost, and unable to focus, I don't feel that way this time. Maybe thats because I got ready for work, just like I always do. Maybe thats because I know I will be talking to people who voted for this today, even a couple who didn't like the guy.
But overall, I am ready to keep fighting. And what this election has shown me more clearly is that we have to fight, but we also have a lot of work to do. The polarization in this country is ripping us apart and we need to fix that before we can fix the country. And to do that we need to do 3 things:
1. We need to build our communities back.
We are at a point with politics that people have made them their entire identities and thats all they consume, feel, and react to. We need to instead find a way to connect people to people. And we need to find the things we enjoy so we can get to know our neighbors as people with interests and not just people living on our streets. We need to raise each other up, help where we can, and we need to celebrate others achievements. That will help in this scary time and hopefully bring us back to a civility to discuss the heavier topics without making it feel like we need to attack each other or rip each others throats out.
And how do we do that?
2. We need to get people offline.
The 24 hour news cycle, political podcast and constant commentary is not healthy for anybody. Not only because it keeps everyone in a constant state of anxiety, but also because it traps people in their echo chambers and lets propaganda and radicalization breed into minds of otherwise normal people. And we are all susceptible to propaganda, don't think you are immune because you are on the other side. Its also getting worse by the spread of misinformation, AI, and bad actors who want to divide us and make us hate each other.
Now of course, we should be paying attention to what our leaders are doing, but we don't need to read every tweet or hear every soundbite. Instead, pick two times a day where you are ready to consume the news for 30 minutes or an hour. And don't take one source as gospel. Hear the news event, and double check other outlets to see how they are reporting it. Find the actual recordings and not just the clips. Because sadly, there is not a reputable news source anymore. And after that time, go do something else you love so you can start connecting to people in real life and relax which help the mental stress.
And yes, being online helps organize these events, but in person events will benfit us so much more. So please, find a way to disconnect from the virtual world and find a way to connect to real people again.
3. We must engage people to do their civic duty.
And no, I don't mean converting them to your side because everyone gets hostile about that. I am talking about, getting them engaged in the process at all because I have a sneaking suspicion that like 2016, a majority of Americans didn't vote at all this time.
But how do we do that?
We don't wait four years. In fact, this goes for people who are politically active too because we keep turning out every four years, but ignoring the elections where our votes really matter and affect the most change which can help make all of us feel like our vote does matter.
So start with your Town/City council. You don't have to watch the hearings/meetings (because they are arduous, trust me, I attend them), but read the news the day after, find out what they discussed, voted on, rezoned. Do you like it? Great, vote to keep those people on the councils. Don't? Vote them out. These elections happen every year and also involve ballot measures that affect your taxes and community. Understand the process and get involved here first, then your county, state, and them the federal. Then it won't be intimidating to get into and it won't be as polarizing.
And you may think 'but why should I vote for the superintendent when I don't have kids in school or the agricultural commissioner when I am not a farmer?' Do you want our society to be taught well or poorly? Do you want our food to be ethically produced or make us sick? You don't need to know the ins and outs for every issue or position but you can at least make sure qualified people are in those roles to make those decisions and not just people hoping for a platform.
So don't despair. I know thats hard today. I know it will feel desperate right now, but we can't give in. We can't give up. And we can survive this.
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with this day being so stressful with the elections, i wanted to say a few things. my mental health has been shit this entire year, especially this october. but with my birthday coming up on the 12th, i wanted to give some shoutouts if that's alright. <3
my meg bun out there somewhere - idk where you are bitch, but you know you're getting this shoutout one way or another. first of all… we've known each other for like…. four years????? WILD AF. we've been through a hella lot together. ESPECIALLY this year. but you know what? we came back stronger than ever and i am so fucking proud of us. now this has been the roughest year for me. especially october, but you've been there while i cried typing to you. not to mention, you have your own shit as well. we're going through it bestie, but we are going through it together. honestly, i feel like we are closer than before and i just fucking love you so much. i adore you. i smooch your forehead. i cradle you in my arms. you're so incredibly important to me and that's not changing bitch. deleted or not, YOU IS HERE IN MY HEART <3
@gccdgraces - MY RIDE OR FUCKING DIE!! my day one baby guurrll!! the way you have been there for me through so much bullshit, i can't thank you enough. i don't fucking deserve you. you have seen me at my worst and never left my side. i admire you so fucking much. your brain is so fucking creative, i don't know how you fucking do it. but i continue to watch in awe. you are truly one of my best friends. one day, i will see your face in person and i will tackle the shit out of you alright???? my fucking best friend. my fucking angel. my platonic soulmate. i don't know how i can survive this hellsite without you. not talking to you for a month was TORTURE BESTIE!!! let's never do it again, alright??? NEVER AGAIN! there is a lot more that i can say about you, but we will keep it short. i love you. you are my ride or die. and we will continue together on this crazy thing called life.
@offorester / @stanfordprepped / @he11fireclubtm / @vamp1r3barb13 - SAMANTHA!! SAMMY!!! SAMMIKINS!!! SAMMYOOOOO!!! bitch wtf, we've known each other for two years now?? i could be wrong. i'm not good at math. either way, i fucking love you to death. we both are always in a bad mental head space at the same time, but at least we go through it together kJBRESGB you are too fucking precious for this world. you care so much about everyone and give your all constantly. i don't know if i have ever met someone so fucking kind until i met you. you remain one of my besties and i promise to never leave your side <3
@wavrlynatural / @safestkittykatintown - my little bumbling bee!!! i had no idea how close we would get, but i am so glad that we did!!! i can't even imagine life without you now! you are one of the kindest and sweetest souls. heart of fucking gold honestly. throughout this hiatus, you have sent so many check ins even when i didn't have the energy to respond, just know it meant the fucking world to me. it still does. know that i ain't going anywhere bb <3 you stuck with me for LIFE. literally the alex to my sonny. i hope you know just how much i am obsessed with the little world we created together and our friendship. like dude…….you are so important to me now. that's not changing ever.
@broknfeed - i know you are on a hiatus bitch BUT HOLY FUCK!!! the fact you were there when i first joined indie and you were preggers??? and then you disappeared because parental duties, but then came back after idk how many years and looked for me??? DUDE!!! THAT IS SOME WILD SOULMATE SHIT RIGHT THERE!!! the fact you're one of my day ones is wild af to me! but i am so fucking grateful! also how you've always checked up on me during my hiatus?? i have so much love for you that i could just absolutely BURST! i am genuinely so glad we are back in touch and just continuing to grow in our friendship. if only we weren't hours away from each other, i'd tackle you kjrebsgjkbekrg i love you so fucking much my bean!
@bloodsalted / @safetypinned - dixon my lil spicy vanilla gjresbgkrejg can i just scream about how much i love you?? cause i will! i was so nervous when we first started talking, but now??? i still get anxious kBRKSEJGEJ why?? cause you are so fucking talented and i just?? like bitch?? how tf do you do it?? outside of your talents, you have done nothing but welcome me with open arms into your life and we have learned so much about each other. not only that, but you've been there for me when i have been feeling shitty and i am so fucking grateful for it. you have no fucking clue. you are a literal gem and i will fight anyone who tries you.
@sacrisaint - ASTRID!!! tbh, i have no idea how we got here. one day you were sending silly comments about sonny and meg, then the next thing i knew, you've been literally going to bat for me even when i tell you not to. from watching that silly tire movie together to now, i hope you know how much i fucking adore you. i do not take this friendship for granted one bit. the shit you have done for me???? like i just?? i love you to bits and pieces!! idk what i did to be blessed with your friendship but i am so grateful.
@qapsiel - sarah sarah sarah……….. the way this last month has made me feel like shit, but the moment i came back??? you were the first to get me cracking up so hard with our blessing womb bullshit. the joke that will never die and is forever ours <3 your writing is phenomenal and you are just out of this world. you getting me to laugh really helped immensely, you have no idea. i love you so very much and i will keep torturing you with tiktoks <3 CAN NEVER GET RID OF ME!
@benbraeden / @hervelle / @gankmonsters / your bajillion blogs - lilly lilly LILLY <3 HOLY FUCK. i remember meeting you when i first wrote minah when i first joined the spn community. you were always so kind to me, but now??? i feel like we've continue to grow closer and i can never be any more grateful! no matter if we talk a lot or not at all, you've always been there when i've been feeling like shit and you know i am always there willing to fight bitches who try you. i adore you and your pure heart. you have nothing but love for people and it is so fucking admirable. and i am so grateful that you would take time out of your way to check up on me. i don't deserve your love yet here we are. i adore you immensely and that's not going to change.
@murderdeals - my lovely little ava! i feel like we have gotten closer the more we've been writing together and i can say i am loving every minute of it <3 i also appreciate you reaching out when i was feeling my lowest. you have been nothing but sweet to me and all i want is to smoosh your face and give you forehead kisses cause i just fucking love you mkay?? you deserve the world and i can't wait for everything we create together. gonna soar from here bitch.
@salvatoraes - RISSA <3 THE OWNER OF MY FUCKING KIDNEY!!!!!!!!!! i don't think my love for you will ever stop, bitch. we are going through some tough shit irl, but at least we are going through it together rebgskebg i can't even keep count on how long i've known you, but i know that i am so fucking grateful for you every single day. i love everything we have created together and i love the chaos that we bring amongst each other. and i'm sure you will be owning another part of my body because i will give you everything tbh. you are THAT important to me okay? one of the best people in the entire fucking world and that's not going to change ever <3
@westwingsolo - a my love <3 forever grateful that i have met you. your words always have me crying and always bring some lightness to my soul. idk how, but when i tend to feel down, you tend to pop out of nowhere and just know what to fucking say. i love you to the moon and back and i will always be rooting for you because you are just that fucking amazing. constantly giving you the biggest hug ever!!
#𝙸𝙼𝙿𝙾𝚁𝚃𝙰𝙽𝚃 . . . positivity#just a few words to people who have recently seen me at my worst and i am so sorry for that rkjbgsejkrb#i hope this shows how grateful i am
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i can't tell if i'm having such a hard time getting stuff done/focusing because my body has already adjusted and become tolerant of the new adhd meds or if i'm really just that stressed that it's canceling it out
#it doesn't feel like the normal stimulant anxiety that i've experienced before on other drugs#it feels like i'm trying to cope and doing a bad job#it's not just election stress i have other things going on that i don't want to get into#so i'm thinking it's the latter#because on friday when i had a specific goal and order of doing things and a closer deadline i performed beautifully lol#rum.txt#all that being said i wanted to write a meta post that expanded on what i said in the tags of one of the reblogs about arc#but that would take a ridiculous amount of time to just say the same thing but longer and with screencaps and i really don't have the time#so i'm nipping it in the bud lol
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I sometimes wonder if a lot of people on the left just don't let themselves be consciously aware that yes, the people who back authoritarianism, fascism, and generally n*zi bullcrap will be voting. On all levels, local to national. All the time.
Because like, people who aren't authoritarian in leaning will argue. Will point out that there's cons and be depressed sometimes easily that there is no perfect candidate.
But- the very point of being an authoritarian is that once they choose their authority, they do what they are told.
They are told to vote by one politician they decided is on their side to vote for another one and will do it without many, if any, questions.
They're told to vote (illegally if it's during a service) by their pastor, by their boss, by their parents, by their spouse, by someone in authority over them that they have accepted as the authority, and they'll go out and do it.
Some of them can snap out of it if it really goes too much against some spark inside, but the whole thing of their wanting a simplistic us vs them world view where they can just sit back and do what they're told and feel better, comfortable, or even superior for doing it means that they'll go do as they're told and then feel good and superior about doing it.
This is how they've long-gamed the GOP to where it is today, that's what is meant when people say "the Republicans just go out and vote". They do that! And they vote without putting any thought into it, without stressing much about imperfections.
Non authoritarians/non-fascists are more likely to give up, or argue against candidates, or just be contrarian, and thus might rather shoot themselves in the foot when it comes time to just doing what is a civic duty to try and prevent the rise of what the other side will always, always turn out in their full numbers to back.
Even if they live in an area where theoretically they would be outvoted 20 to 2, they will show up 'defiantly' and cast their votes for the person they have been told by someone they have decided to trust told them to vote for. Even if they don't know a damn thing about the candidate other than two talking points from a campaign ad or that were talked about at the church social.
This doesn't make any voting at all useless, it doesn't make anyone who votes sheep. It makes voting absolutely required by anyone opposing them. Not 'instead' of community action and protests and letters or whatever the fuck else, but along with.
It means as long as there are any elections, yes, to avoid fascists winning elections 'fairly' (not gonna get into gerrymandering here,) people have got to show up and vote against them, because the fascist voters aren't going to take a mental health day or write in a joke or go third party. Some person whose authority clicked a little circuit in their brain on, who maybe got them riled up about <one thing> told them to vote for <whoever> and they are going to vote for <whoever>, regardless of whatever <other things> are out there being ignored as less consequential.
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i do think that specifically david tennant being very openly supportive of the trans community has had an interesting effect -- because usually im kinda like "it is nice to know that people whose work i enjoy don't want me dead" and that's kinda my level of (at this point) quite cynical engagement with what a celebrity or artist does or does not think about transness, because these days it feels like it's almost fashionable for well-known (or post-well-known) people to come out of the wordwork and say what they think about trans people, which can get very stressful in its own way (the amount of headlines that try to be misleading or just plain don't say and so you're just like "ok i guess this week i have to find out if [spins wheel] thinks i deserve rights")
but david tennant has a different feeling to it. and to be fair, there are plenty of people with skin in the game, who absolutely deserve to and ought to speak out on behalf of their children/partners/community/friends/family/etc. and im always happy to see these people speak, and dt is included in that list as well
but david tennant is veeery specific in this here country of terf island, in which the labour party will openly state that it will allow certain book writers to affect their policies on trans people, and that's partly because of the effect above in which "having opinions on trans rights seems to be a celebrity game that keeps you relevant, which includes ex prime minister tony blair making his opinion known (hint, it wasn't a good one)" but also because david tennant is known as a national icon to rival that of whatsherface
he was the main actor on doctor who, in the top three, if not very top of british broadcasting iconography that exists. he's one of this generation's most famous shakespearian actors, the other thing that this country-as-culture is most proud of. he's a mainstay in children's film and tv, a standout in modern british crime drama (broadchurch, des), and that's not mentioning things like jessica jones, good omens, and star wars
this guy has no social media, and some of the biggest cultural capital in the uk today -- labour i believe it was made a twitter joke about him ousting the current prime minister as the doctor ahead of this week's election, because that's an iconic scene from doctor who
which means that when he openly calls transphobes whingy and asks them to shut up, there's a bit of a ripple... i mean what are you gonna do, get angry with the doctor? from doctor who??? the man who played a definitive hamlet????? the man who's just done rave reviewed performances of macbeth???? scrooge mcduck????????? this man who occasionally guests on cbeebies???????????
said prime minister and his party and hosts of transphobes go absolutely crazy every time he makes an appearance wearing new trans ally apparel, as if a. he sees any of that and b. it's a dignified response to a man saying, in essence, "i would like my kid to be safe and happy"
david tennant constantly making these statements, again and again, is a powerful voice in the modern fight for trans rights in the UK, in some ways unfortunately, because you wish trans people could have been heard before it got to this state and that it wasn't about being famous, but to be fair, he's also making that point again and again
it kind of feels like the first time in a long time that there's been proper pushback against transphobia in this country from a perspective that the transphobes can't dismiss so easily -- they can try but like. again, one side is a bunch of raving nonsense-spouters on a joke website who mostly belong to a party that's about to get decidedly ousted from the political scene, the other is beloved national icon and star of stage and screen, mr david tennant
of course, it doesn't hurt that the three main actors of harry potter and everyone else who's majorly involved in doctor who, past and present, is also supportive of trans rights, which maybe there's a separate point to be made about the strangeness of a mainstream tv show becoming a cultural battleground for peoples opinions on equal rights, especially now with ncuti gatwa at the helm, because i think some of what ive seen in relation to dw is more extreme than any piece of cultural media ive been alive to witness bigoted reactions to (including star trek), and ncuti gatwa as a black queer man is taking a hell of a lot of flack that is racist and homophobic
but labour... if you're inviting random artists to give you opinions on trans rights, david tennant is right there, and you know he'd make sure to bring along trans rights activists and professionals to get the space in the room they ought to have had all along
#david tennant#it's just... as a phenomenon#also on some level i believe this is partially Because he doesn't have social media#he's not getting into pointless arguments on stupid websites#he's saying his piece and then going home or to work or wherever else he goes on the daily#which really just highlights how absurd it is for people to go on rampages on said stupid website#what are you Doing all day????#because dt is living his best life as a trans ally
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I saw your post on DnD having no consequences besides death and was wondering what systems you know that aren't like that,and how they accomplish it.
Really love your stuff btw!
First one that comes to mind is Fate. The way Fate achieves it is simple: instead of having death as a consequence, in Fate if your character gets taken out of combat (which will happen if they take Stress and they have no more Stress boxes to take that Stress and you don't elect to take a consequence instead) they're simply Taken Out. There's no countdown to death, the character is simply out of the conflict. And should the whole party get wiped in a conflict that simply means that they failed to achieve whatever it was they wanted to achieve in that conflict. This means that players can lose individual conflicts but the story doesn't end there. In fact, the game in some ways encourages losing in conflicts, because it can be a source of character development (via Extreme consequences which can only be taken once every now and then and that actually change one of the character's Aspects, basic building blocks of the character). Fate also allows, as far as I remember, simply conceding a conflict, meaning that characters lose the conflict but at least they get out mostly without consequence.
Blades in the Dark is another one: BitD is about doing heists and during heists characters can suffer a wide variety of consequences, including various degrees of injury. The important thing is that BitD allows players to declare that their characters are withdrawing from a heist whenever they want. This means that they get no payoff and go straight into downtime, and still have to deal with the various consequences like heat and entanglements. So, players basically always have the choice to retreat. (And in fact this is something that is very similar to older editions of D&D: before cyclical, individual initiative became the norm, characters would take turns together, and between rounds of combat players could decide that their characters would retreat. It wasn't of course automatic and there was a chance of pursuit, but there was a quick escape button available to players.)
QuestWorlds is another one that allows for players to define what their characters' goal in a given conflict (called Sequence) is, and allows for either retreating (and thus failing to achieve the story goal) as well as simply losing and failing to achieve the story goal with added consequence. QuestWorlds is very similar to Fate in how abstract it is in modeling conflict. QuestWorlds also models difficulty rising with every success since it seeks to model a certain type of narrative structure. It's a fascinating game imo
That's just a few though, and there are countless others as well.
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I am constantly procrastinating working on my original fic by writing fanfic. Any advice for how to refocus and finish my novel?
Well. The novel probably needs a nap.
Procrastinating is a symptom that something is preventing you from doing the thing you "should" be doing. Most of the time it's an unrelated, but actually higher priority task like resting after an illness (society is fucking lying about anything else being more important) or filing your taxes (actually this one is pretty important).
...but if you're procrastinating on one creative project with another creative project, you're not procrastinating: something about the novel is off right now, the fanfic is more appealing to you.
Consider the following:
You may be writing fic because it brings you more joy than the novel. If you really want to get back to the novel, figure out what would make working on it more enjoyable. Engagement from a beta-editor? Skipping this really boring scene and coming back to it later? Adding more smut?
You may also be writing fic because it's got a lower spoon coat than the novel and you need to conserve your spoons right now. Any extra stress in your life? Moving? Toothache? Recovering from Covid? Annoying roommate? Sick family member? It's an election year? ANY of those could soak up extra spoons and make your novel too expensive for your spoons budget. Let it take a nap, and come back when you're feeling better.
You may be sharpening your artistic skills on a lower-stakes project before going back to the novel. This is pretty normal- even Michaelangelo took breaks to work on other pieces while sculpting The David, both for a change of pace and so he could try something out without fucking up the big block.
Fortunately, you're writing, so you can always try writing the challenging scene a dozen times in different docs or save the parts that were good but don't not in a spare parts bucket doc.
Or keep working on that fic, it's helping you learn on a subconscious level.
You don't love the novel right now. This is alright. This is usually temporary, and the solution is the same- put it aside and work on something else.
Maybe you are just bored of the novel. That's fine and normal, you just save all the documents to your hard drive and come back later. When the fic inevitably gets boring too, you'll come back to the novel and either go "oh hey this kicks ass!" And return to it with renewed enthusiasm.
...Or you'll come back to it and go "oh. This is actually a piece of shit" And that's okay too, because there's nothing more useless than polishing a turd, but that turd is still valuable as compost. You learned things writing it, and you can still rifle through the novel for good lines or scenes or turns of phrase and put those in your spare parts doc to ferment into The Good Shit in the back of your mind.
HOWEVER:
If you are experiencing a different phenomenon wherein you are actively distressed while writing the fic- either out of misplaced guilt, or the fic isn't actually fun you just feel compelled to do something, or absolutely every creative endeavor is stressing you out, you may be experiencing a serious mental or physical health issue and you should see your GP or a specialist ASAP. Pain is an indicator that something is wrong. Do not ignore your body's warning light.
That sounds really dramatic and hyperbolic but realizing I was not enjoying ANY creative work was the symptom that finally got me to sit down and go "huh. All these random pains, irregular sleep cycle, frequent migraines and weird bouts of vertigo aren't normal either, I should get this looked at." And it turned out I had dangerously low blood oxygen at night from undiagnosed sleep apnea. I have a CPAP machine now and it's AMAZING.
I really hope this is regular artistic shuffle and not a serious health concern, but if you're experiencing creative stress AND a bunch of other shit, it may be serious.
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wishful thinking. (02)
chapter two: in plain sight
summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.
pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut warnings: cursing, drinking, suggestive content at the end, could've been edited more but oh well lol word count: 4.9k
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
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Damn baby, I'm a train wreck, too I lose my mind when it comes to you I take time with the ones I choose And I don't want to smile if it ain't from you
boyfriend - Ariana Grande ft. Social House
You end up not seeing Minho, nor any of your other friends, at all in the few days leading up to Yeonjun’s party.
True to your words, you were mostly holed up in your place, running on nothing but caffeine and sheer frustration, trying to finish your elective class’ final paper on the differences between the views of Greek philosophers. Time really flies when you wish it would slow down, because you could've used a couple more days to perfect the godforsaken thing.
You’ve been texting Minho though, and honestly, the man is practically a saint. You barely even talked about anything besides your stupid paper and your high maintenance perfectionist professor, and yet, he still listened to you yap away. He even offered to help you with your footnotes and citations, which you didn’t need, but the gesture was nice. If you had turned to Seungmin with your whining, he probably would've muted your notifications after three messages.
Regardless, all complaining aside, you did manage to pull through and finish the paper in the end, letting out a big sigh of relief the very second you clicked on the Send button on yours and your professor’s email thread just five minutes before the deadline.
Before you know it, it's already Saturday and Minho should be here any minute now so you two could go to the party. You’ve been working hard. You deserve to let a little loose tonight.
Even though a college party isn’t exactly your top choice of ways to wind down from stress, the mention of free and unlimited booze sure does sound alluring.
When your phone lights up with a simple i’m here from Minho, you quickly throw on a cardigan over a simple black camisole and denim shorts and check your makeup in the mirror one last time before heading downstairs. He texted you a couple hours ago, saying he had some stuff to pick up near your place and asking if you wanted to walk to Yeonjun’s together. You sent him back an enthusiastic yes!!! in a matter of seconds, because lord knows you’d rather not enter the front door of that house unaccompanied.
You opted for a simple fit tonight, mostly because you couldn’t be bothered to put on anything more decent only to go to the equivalent of a frat party.
“Hey, Min.” Your voice pulls him away from scrolling through his phone, diverting his attention to you instead.
“Hey,” he says, tucking the device into the pocket of his jeans. When he gives you a once-over, you do a little twirl for him, finishing off with an exaggerated kick of your foot at the end. “You look nice.”
“Just ‘nice’? I’m trying to get laid tonight. ‘Nice’ isn’t gonna cut it,” you joke.
He stares at you, a bashful expression befalling his features, the corner of his mouth lifted upward as he smiles in hubris. “You’re trying to get laid by whom?”
“I don’t know.” You shrug. “You tell me.”
He rolls his eyes affectionately before throwing an arm around your shoulders to pull you close. One of his hands musses up your hair that you spent twenty minutes trying to make look perfect, prompting you to poke him in the side so he would let go of you.
“Hey!” you scowl, smoothing over the strands that he flicked out of place. “I worked hard on that!”
“Sorry,” he chuckles, clearly amused by the temporarily sulky look on your face. “Didn’t want you to look too pretty. Can’t have all of the attention on you. Someone might try to steal you away from me.”
“Did it occur to you that maybe I want some attention tonight? I’ve been a hermit all week, I deserve a little something.”
“Is my attention not enough for you?”
You squint at him for a second. Then, you start walking in the direction of Yeonjun’s house without waiting for him. You hear Minho launch a laugh your way, and the scuffling of his shoes on the concrete pavement as he easily catches up with you in a few strides.
He leans down to whisper directly into your ear, making your cheeks heat up but you’re glad that they’re partially masked by the poorly lit street. “You know you never have to try.”
The walk to the party takes about fifteen minutes. When you’re rounding the street corner that leads to Yeonjun’s place, you can already hear the booming music coming from the biggest house on the block. Even from a distance, you can see people on the lawn and the two balconies on the second floor. You gotta give it to the guy - he sure knows how to throw a party.
The second you enter the premises, you’re almost taken aback by how crowded it actually is even though you expected this. A typical Yeonjun party.
You tug on Minho’s shirt, beckoning him to bend down so you could talk into his ear over the sounds of bad EDM and people basically having to scream in each other’s faces. “Are Hyunjin and the others here yet?” you ask.
��They got here right before us. I think they’re in-”
“Y/N!” The two of you whip around at the sound of a shrill voice calling out your name. Yeonjun practically shoves his way through the crowd of people when he spots you, bounding up to you and Minho with a bright grin on his face. “Glad you could make it!” he says, paying no mind to the man next to you at all. He eyes you up and down, shamelessly tugging his bottom lip between his teeth. “Damn, you look really good tonight.”
You give him a playful eye roll. Nonetheless, you still tell him, “Thanks.”
“You look that good to come to my party?”
You don’t mind at all the fact that Yeonjun is a natural flirt. That’s just a part of his personality, he’s inherently charming like that. It’s harmless and it doesn’t make you uncomfortable. Everything is all in good fun.
“Would you believe me if I said this is what I’d wear on a midnight convenience store run?”
“Ouch, you wound me.” Yeonjun says, holding a hand over his heart to emphasize his point. “C’mon, you can admit it.”
You open your mouth, a quick comeback about to be thrown his way but Minho chimes in from beside you.
“You should believe her,” he deadpans, stepping closer to you, one of his hands grazing your back. He's even standing straighter, with his chest all puffed out. “She even dresses like that when she takes out the trash.”
You turn to gasp at him before punching him right in the pec. “Hey!” Yeonjun is all but forgotten in a blink of an eye, because you have to defend your honor first.
“What? I’ve seen you do it wearing this exact same outfit.”
“Stop lying. It’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? I distinctly remember you wearing this when you went to take out the trash that night a couple of weeks ago while we were hanging out at your place.”
“Nuh uh. I didn’t take out the trash that night,” you protest, frowning. “I made you throw it out for me on your way-”
Yeonjun interrupts you with a chuckle, glancing between you and Minho as he gives your friend's shoulder an awkward pat. They share a look that you don’t quite understand. “Alright, duly noted. I’m gonna make myself scarce,” he says. “Help yourselves. Booze is in the kitchen!”
After you’ve finally squeezed your way into the kitchen that’s overflowing with people, you narrow your eyes at Minho. “What was that about?”
“What?” He scans the selection of liquor bottles on the kitchen island before asking you, “Rum and Coke?”
Your favorite.
You nod eagerly, momentarily distracted before you have to circle back to your question.
“What was all that back there with Yeonjun, Mr. Grumpy Cat?”
“What was what?” He pulls out two solo cups from a nearby stack, along with some napkins, and meticulously wipes the plastic cups even though they look pretty clean to you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You raise a disbelieving eyebrow. He shrugs.
“I didn’t know you and Yeonjun were that close.” Minho seems casual as he tells you this, not looking at you as he fetches the necessary liquor and soda from the sea of glass and plastic bottles in front of you.
“We’re not. I’m kinda friends with him because Jess is friends with him.”
“Okay,” he acknowledges, though he doesn’t seem entirely pleased with… you don’t even know what. “I don’t like him. He’s loud.”
“That’s not a reason. Aren’t you friends with him too?”
You watch as he mixes your drinks, a sight you’re familiar with whenever you attend house parties together. He’s always your designated bartender.
One for you, one for him.
One part rum, two and a half parts coke.
“It is a reason. And ‘friends’ is a stretch,” he says, handing you your cup before he tends to his own. His has less liquor in it, because you both know you like yours stronger. “We’re acquaintances at best.”
“You’re loud too.”
“My brand of loud is different.”
“Is it?”
He gives you a look. An offended cat, if you’ve ever seen one.
“Well, Yeonjun’s not bad,” you tell him. You take a sip of the drink, then give him a subsequent thumbs-up. “He can be a bit much for some people, but I don’t really mind it.”
When he’s done, you both try to navigate the battlefield that is Yeonjun’s extremely cramped abode. You try to stay as close to him as possible, meaning away from the loud boys that are either trying to get shitfaced as quickly as possible, or trying to suck faces with any girl they could find as quickly as possible.
“Still. You don’t think the flirting was a bit much?”
Minho pulls you to him by your elbow when some guy - probably a little more than tipsy, judging by the unsteadiness of the legs that carry him - tries to bulldoze his way through the crowd behind you.
“He’s always like that. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s harmless.”
“If he asks you out, would you say yes?”
You blink at him in surprise, feeling like the question came out of nowhere. “What kind of question is that?”
“It’s just a question,” he says, then repeats himself. “So, if he asks you out, would you say yes?”
You let him guide you to a spot that’s more breathable, where people aren’t practically on top of each other trying to weave their way through. You think about it for a second, then realize that there isn’t much to think about. “No,” you say decisively.
Because it doesn’t make sense to envision you and Yeonjun together. You practically sit on two opposing ends of the same spectrum. People often say that opposites attract, but this isn’t one of those cases.
And… because you simply feel strange thinking about yourself and someone else. Like it's something you shouldn't do.
Minho gives you a hum in acknowledgment of your answer, which you barely catch over the loudness of the party. You do catch the hint of a smile that tugs at the corner of his lip though, before he cranes his neck to scan the room for any trace of your gang of thieves.
“If I didn’t know any better,” you run the words over in your head before you decide to utter them out loud. Like you told him just now, harmless, right? “I’d say you’re jealous of Yeonjun.”
He turns, stares at you for a moment with unreadable eyes.
“And what if I am?”
There’s something incredulous in the way you look at him. You think he would just wave you off or roll his eyes and move onto a new topic, not expecting him to fire back with a question you can’t really answer.
Or maybe he’s just playing along. You can’t tell.
“Am I that good in bed?” you chuckle, hoping he doesn’t notice the inkling of nervousness in your voice. “Did I do a number on you?”
He raises both eyebrows, pursing his lips as if in thought. Then, he answers, “Something like that.”
There’s a part of you that wants to dig deeper, to get him to say what he really means because there’s something in his eyes and there’s something in the way that his hand has moved to its designated place on the small of your back that makes your stomach roll with anticipation.
Once again, you don’t like that he keeps getting harder for you to read.
You try to think of words to say, of questions to ask, though you know this party isn’t the best place to voice them. “What d-”
“There you are!” Hyunjin pops up from behind Minho, practically jumping onto his back like a jumpscare ghost in a horror game, startling the both of you and almost making the grumpy cat spill his drink. Minho groans as he tries to shove his friend off, before sending Hyunjin a glare that makes the man bow his head in apology. He promptly drags you to where your friends are gathered on a big couch near the back of the room - Chan and his girlfriend Jess, Seungmin, Changbin, along with a distinct absence of a few more faces.
“Where are the others?” you ask, plopping down next to Changbin, followed suit by Minho.
“Jisung is stuck finishing a project,” Chan informs you. “And Jeongin is taking his girl to that new drive-in movie place.”
“They’re still in their honeymoon phase?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“Ah yes, young love. Good for them.”
You catch up with everyone about your week, about their week; gossip about how much Yeonjun might’ve spent on this party and where his family’s downright insane wealth actually comes from, about Seungmin’s on-and-off situationship (which might be more interesting than all of the above).
Minho remains seated next to you the entire time you’re all drinking and laughing with each other. He keeps subtly touching you one way or another - a hand on your back because no one’s really noticing, a shoulder brushing yours, a thigh touching yours, a knee nudging your own every now and then.
It’s not until you finish your drink that Minho asks if you want another one, then stands up to head to the kitchen when you say Yes, please.
The second he’s out of earshot, Hyunjin jumps into action, motioning for everyone to huddle together, like he’s about to share classified information.
“Minho is seeing someone,” he says immediately.
“What?” Changbin asks. You hope he doesn’t notice the way your body immediately stiffens at the conversation’s sudden turn. You try to look as nonchalant and quiet as possible, as if this is just a talk about the weather, missing the way a pair of eyes flits to you outside of your peripheral vision.
Hyunjin purses his lips, before clarifying, “I went through his phone last week.”
“You went through his phone?” Chan frowns, shaking his head disapprovingly. “That’s not cool, dude.”
“He was in the bathroom and his phone was just sitting there unlocked. Then he got a text and I had to!” Hyunjin holds up his hands defensively. “Anyway, I don’t know if they’re dating or if they’re just fooling around, but there is someone! He’s simping hard.”
“How do you know that?” Seungmin chimes in. “Do you even know who it is?”
“I don’t know who it is. That’s what I need you guys to help me find out. There wasn’t a name name. He just calls her his-”
“What on earth are you guys doing?” Minho’s voice makes everyone disperse, leaning back into their respective seats like they were caught doing something they shouldn’t. He sits down beside you again, handing you your cup back. You give him an appreciative but awkward smile. “What is Hyunjin blabbing about this time?”
“Nothing!” Hyunjin practically squeaks. The poor guy can’t spin a little white lie to save his life. Then he has the audacity to look offended as he gapes, “Also, why did you automatically assume it was me?”
“Because it’s always you at the scene of the crime.”
“It happened one time! No, twice. It was only those two ti-!”
Seungmin cuts in flatly. “He said you’re whipped for a girl you’re seeing.”
Everyone stops to stare at Minho. Even you turn your head to look at him, trying to gauge how he’ll respond to this. It makes you a little guilty, seeing that you’re part of the secret too, and yet he has to shoulder the lies by himself.
Well, technically, there hasn’t been any lying involved up until now. Just a simple withholding of the truth.
His face hardens for a brief moment, and you think he lets it show on purpose - his way of telling Hyunjin that he’s annoyed - because Minho can put on a flawless poker face when he wants to. There’s a couple of seconds where he clenches his jaw before he relaxes, the sharpness of his features softening as he shrugs off the accusation. “I am most certainly not whipped for anyone,” he says. “It’s just a casual thing.”
“If it’s just casual, why were you being so secretive about it, huh?” Hyunjin prods.
“I wasn’t being secretive. I just didn’t think it was anybody’s business,” Minho answers coolly.
“We’re your best friends! I tell you guys everything.”
“You sure do. Even things I’d rather not hear about.”
Jess and Changbin burst into light laughter, and you chuckle along with them but you don’t really find it that funny. You’re just trying to blend into the background, be a fly on the wall and observe how things unfold. Minho has assured you that there’s nothing for you to worry about, that there’s no way they could find out about the secret, but still.
Hyunjin groans exasperatedly. The nosiest drama queen you know. “Seriously, who’s the girl? I’m dying of curiosity here!”
“Drop it.” Minho glares at him.
“Just give me a hint! Is it someone we know?”
“You haven’t eaten tissues in a while, have you?”
“Try me. I’m not scared of you anymore.”
“Hyunjin, I swear to-”
“Okay!” Chan claps his hands together suddenly. “Let’s just all agree that we are all entitled to our privacy and people can share whatever they want with whoever they want when they’re comfortable, yeah?”
Everyone nods in agreement, except for Hyunjin who narrows his eyes petulantly at Minho as if to say This isn’t over. No one wants to poke a disgruntled tiger, let alone about something he seems so disinterested in sharing. Minho has always been a notoriously private person, even with the rest of the group.
Changbin shuffles a new topic into the mix to move things along, which you aren’t very keen on contributing to at the moment. When no one seems to be looking, Minho places a hand on your knee, rubbing it soothingly as if he can sense the unease that you’re feeling. It makes you glance at him, though neither of you says anything. You just look at each other for a moment, then turn back to the group when someone calls your name.
Two hours and three rum and coke’s later, you were coming down from a good high when someone suggested ditching Yeonjun’s party to go to a club.
Normally, you would say no. You could only do one social event at a time, needing to recharge your metaphorical battery before you let yourself be dragged into the next one.
But you decided to make an exception for tonight.
Though, you promptly realized that it was probably a mistake.
You prefer the loudness of Yeonjun’s party than here. It’s loud and crowded, since it’s a Saturday night, and since it’s a club. The air is sticky and stuffy. The lights are perpetually blinding and headache-inducing. You’re not even on the dancefloor; you’re just hovering near the entrance and the bar, and there’s still barely any room to move. People keep trying to shove you out of their way, even with Minho attempting to act as your human shield.
You let your displeasure be known through a deep frown.
Minho catches onto your chagrin almost immediately. “What’s wrong?” he asks, leaning close to your ear to make sure you hear him over the music.
“Too many people,” you try to raise your voice so the booming noises don’t drown you out. “Can we go somewhere over there?”
He turns around, taps on Chan’s shoulder to get his attention before gesturing vaguely to that spot near the back that you just pointed out to him, presumably to let the others know that you’ll be wandering over there.
He takes your hand and leads the way. In the back, it’s still loud but less deafening than before, and much less crowded compared to the areas surrounding the dance floor.
“Better?” he asks.
You lean against the wall though you probably shouldn’t. The ick is apparent, but at this point in the night, you yourself are already feeling pretty gross anyway.
“A little bit,” you say. “Thanks.”
“You wanna go home? We can leave if you want.”
“Without saying goodbye?”
“Did you know that people who leave parties without saying goodbye save two days a year? It’s been researched.”
You rephrase your words so Minho would understand better. “Without Hyunjin’s permission?”
“Hyunjin has been pissing me off plenty all week. I can play my card for you.”
“What card?”
“The ‘I don’t give a fuck’ card.”
You tilt your head, clearly amused. “And how does that usually work out for you?”
“I don’t care how it works out because Hyunjin is not gonna do anything to me.” He shrugs. “Besides, I can always just throw him in the airfryer when he gets too annoying.”
This makes you laugh, recalling the exact moment Minho brought up the legendary instructions on how to cook Hyunjin.
“How violent,” you comment with a snort.
“He deserves it.”
“You know you still have a soft spot for him,” you say.
“I have a soft spot for you,” he replies.
“Now look who’s trying to get laid.”
He grins. “Could you blame me?”
Some drunk girls stumble into your space on their way to the bathroom, bumping into you, pushing you into Minho’s body where he instinctively puts a hand on your back to keep you steady. You glance up at him after the girls have safely arrived at the bathroom, only to find him already staring down at you. His back is turned toward where the lights are coming from and the angle shrouds his face in darkness, but you can still make out the stars twinkling in his eyes.
The sudden lack of space between your bodies makes your breath hitch.
“Are you still drunk?” he asks.
“No. Not really.” You don’t like the way your voice comes out small, vulnerable.
“I…” he starts, hesitating for a moment before he continues. His eyes flicker to your lips, and the breath that was previously caught in your throat further thickens. “Fuck, I really want to kiss you right now.”
For some reason, your heart leaps to your throat. It’s probably because of the remnants of alcohol refusing to leave your system, because how else would you explain the way your pulse quickens just from hearing those words coming from him?
He bites his lip, similar to how Yeonjun did it just a few hours ago, but seeing Minho do it is at least a hundred times more enticing.
You want him to kiss you too. You really do.
“What if the others see?” you protest meekly, but you’re already staring at his mouth, finding yourself gravitating toward him like he’s got you hypnotized.
“We’re all the way back here,” he tells you. “They won’t see anything.”
He leans closer until his lips are brushing yours. With a hand on your hip and the other on the back of your head, he meets your mouth in a soft kiss, which is a stark contrast to the upbeat and booming music blasting all around you. Some guy drunkenly gives you two a sleazy whistle, the sound coming from somewhere on your right, but neither of you pays it any attention.
Your hands come to clutch at the collar of his shirt like a lifeline. He’s never kissed you outside of the comfort of your bedroom before, let alone amidst a sea of people like this. It feels strange to be intimate with him in public, but at the same time, it excites you. There’s still a sense of anonymity because you’re camouflaged by the lights, masked by the darkness, hiding in plain sight.
The kiss gets more heated. He guides you a step back until you’re all pressed up against the wall, your hands tangling in his hair, tugging on it the way he likes that makes him groan against your mouth. He sucks on your bottom lip before shoving his tongue into your mouth, the wet muscle dancing with yours, making your knees buckle. It’s dizzying. It makes your head spin, and you don’t know if it’s because there’s still enough residual alcohol in your system to knock your world off its axis, or if it’s just him.
The hand previously on your hips sneaks underneath your shirt to rub at your bare skin. He gropes your breasts over the bralette you chose to wear tonight, squeezing the soft flesh in his palm, all the while slotting one of his legs between yours to help you grind on him. Your clothed cunt rolls over the denim of his jeans, and even though the friction is coarse and your movements are limited in this crowded space, the pleasure still sets your entire body alight. Minho spreads all over you like wildfire, and Minho consumes you like a hurricane.
You moan into his mouth when he rolls your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, over the flimsy material of your undergarment. “Min,” you whimper desperately. You don’t know if he can hear you over the obnoxiously loud sounds coming from the speakers littered all over the place, but he groans against your mouth regardless. Almost like the nickname is driving him crazy.
He pulls back just slightly, to let the both of you catch your breath. “Should we go back to yours?” he asks, eyes still focused on your mouth.
You nod eagerly. You know you must be wet as hell right now, and if you have to wait any longer, you will probably explode from frustration. You might just drag him into that disgusting bathroom over there and let him have his way with you, but you will definitely regret it afterward because it’s a bathroom in a nightclub. It’s beyond revolting.
He helps you smooth out your hair, gentle and tender. In turn, you wipe your lipstick smudges on his face. Instead of taking you by the hand like he did earlier, he wraps an arm around your shoulder and navigates the two of you through the crowd, shielding you from anyone who might bump into you. You lean into the touch; it’s just comforting.
As you make your way back to the group - or what’s left of the group at the moment - his hand drops to his side again. There’s an inkling of disappointment that blossoms in you, but it dissipates quickly when Hyunjin spots you and lights up. Him and Seungmin are at the bar, seemingly trying to get the bartender’s attention. Changbin is next to them, but he doesn’t seem to care about anything other than the girl he’s chatting with. You try to scan the crowd for Chan and Jess, and find them a couple minutes later, standing in a corner, pressed up against each other just like you and Minho moments ago.
“Where did you run off to?” Hyunjin asks. Clearly Chan was too preoccupied with his girlfriend to relay the information.
“It’s too loud in here, I was getting a headache,” you say, only half a lie. You know your face must still be flushed from your impromptu makeout session, but you hope your friend can’t see the rosy shade painting your skin under all the flashing lights. “Min and I just went back there to see if it was quieter.”
“Okay.” He seems to believe you. “We’re trying to get drinks! You want anything?”
“I think I’m gonna just go home. You guys stay and have fun though.”
Hyunjin looks at you like he’s so flabbergasted. “It’s not even 3AM yet!”
“Headache,” you say, pointing to your temple with an exaggeratedly pained expression on your face. “I’ll stay out all night with you next time.”
“But-!” The second he opens his mouth to protest, Minho cuts in sharply, his tone leaving no room for anyone to argue despite the gigantic pout on Hyunjin’s face.
“I’m gonna take her home and call it a night too,” he simply says.
Hyunjin groans, but he relents in the end, muttering to you something that sounds like “You owe me one,” when you go to hug him goodbye. Before you and Minho can reach the door, you hear your man child of a friend call after you two in his pterodactyl voice, “Don’t make Minho’s girl jealous!”
all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 04.01.2024]
#stray kids fic#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#skz fic#skz imagines#skz x reader#skz x you#lee know fluff#lee know angst#lee know smut#lee know scenarios#lee know x reader#lee know imagines#lee know x you#lee minho x reader#lee minho x you#stray kids#lee know#lee minho#fic: wishful thinking
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Opinion on the US's Cogs damn obsession with corn?
don't know what you're talking about specifically but my understanding of US agricultural policy in general is that being a farmer in capitalism sucks and has since colonization and for a long time the US government tried to make it suck less with subsidies which sometimes work (because people get paid predictably regardless of demand and its less like gambling with crops) but sometimes go over really badly (because then too many people grow it and the price per bushel goes down and then government has too much corn) and then a couple times they got rid of all the subsides and related regulations and that REALLY didnt work (because then the price just crashed hard and with nothing to compensate them a bunch of farmers, many of whom were in debt for other farming-related reasons, couldnt get paid and actually had to foreclose their farms, which accelerated the long-standing trend of farms getting foreclosed on and then being bought out by bigger farms that then ended up running INSANE multi million dollar operations, sometimes even on farms in other states where the owners do not live, in communities they do not contribute to) and they had to backpedal on it and then eventually they just started on the current system where you simply pass a farm bill every 10-12 years instead of yearly or biyearly and that way you simply dont have to think about it, and then when it is election time you go stand by a cornfield for a while for tv. it does not fix the huge enormous farms buying out smaller farms problem or any of the complicated related problems but it DOES put it off for longer which is more important.
sometimes also you (USAID for instance) can give the too-much-corn you have from farm subsidies to a foreign country as a 'gift' and say youre just being a helpful little guy, but in the process of doing so undercut the local farmers in that country because they cant compete with free stuff but that's cool because then the foreign country can't really survive as well without US agricultural aid and you can manipulate them to do imperialism better AND you have more demand for the corn which might raise the price per bushel in the US. also sometimes the corn is fed to livestock en masse because the meat is worth more and sometimes its made into gas or high fructose corn syrup, and sometimes the price is so low per bushel that the insurance on the field is worth more than the actual corn.
but. i CANNOT stress enough that the most important thing about corn is that you can stand next to it on tv and if you cant do that, maybe you can stand next to a guy who is around it a lot and say you are helping him.
in my relatively uneducated opinion the most epic way to solve this complex multi-century interdisciplinary push and pull of supply and demand would be to just pay farmers a salary through the state since youre already paying out massive state subsidies for crops you dont need anyway and the farmers are performing a vital service and that way you can guarantee people a consistent salary AND control how much of each thing gets planted so you dont have a massive stockpile at all times AND you reward individual people instead of paying out large amounts of money to whatever massive operation sells the most corn by virtue of being big, but if you dont want to do that then the second best thing is to just pass another mediocre farm bill whos inflexible 10-ish year lifespan makes it impossible for it to respond well to changes in market demand and that way you can just put off making tough decisions and instead stand next to a guy and a cornfield on tv again. which as we have covered is the most important part of american agriculture
#you know?#(i took an agricultural history class in college. dont remember everything but i remember my overall impression was this)#asks#plont asks
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Ohhh since you're writing for him could you write something about evil morty being jealous/possessive with the reader (in a romantic relationship) please and thank you!
𝟎𝟎𝟏. 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘫𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘴 [ 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘷𝘦𝘳. ]
⠀⠀⠀: ᯓ 𝟎𝟎𝟐.⠀ EVIL MORTY SMITH X READER
› 〉 𝟎𝟎𝟑. SYNOPSIS, Evil Morty is one hell of a bf, his jealousy and possesiveness is crazy.
› 〉 𝟎𝟎𝟒. WARNINGS, Evil Morty, maybe a bit ooc, threats / threats of violence, ect
› 〉 𝟎𝟎𝟓. AUTHOR'S NOTES, Happy to do another rick and morty request! I hope this one is good- i'm not too good when it comes to writing for characters like him but I'll try! ALSO SOME WORDS MIGHT BE SPELT WRONG
🜸 ㅤ▎ㅤ▍ㅤUnlike RICK, EVIL MORTY is well aware that he can get jealous and possesive over you- in fact most Morties are aware of that fact, and well you cant exactly blame them, love is something they dont get often, and when they do it doesn't last.
🜸 ㅤ▎ㅤ▍ㅤSo it is no surprise that when you began to date EVIL MORTY, he was quick to become jealous and bitter to all other morties (even more than he already is). After all, now that your his significant other, others may be prone to want to go after you which is something that will bother EVIL MORTY.
🜸 ㅤ▎ㅤ▍ㅤThis especially happens during his presidental run, now that he's making himself and, ultimately, you public- many would be bound to try and get you away from him for various reasons. Though don't worry too much, EVIL MORTY has it all sorted- pull a few strings and the rouge morties that tried to even interact with you will be gone, like they never exsisted.
"Morty.." you called out, staring at your boyfriend who was currently sifting through various files, persumebly all to do with the votes and campaign as he was running for president in the citadel- something you heavily encouraged because it would be good to have a new, democraticly elected, leader for the citadel and hey, if morty needed any help or things got to stressful you'd be able to help (I mean how hard can it be?). "Yeah [name]?" He lifted his head up, staring at you with a quirked brow, clearly wanting you to continue though under his gaze you felt slightly uncomfortable- jeez when did your boyfriend become so damn scary? "Do you know what happened to the two Morties that jumped me the other day? I was searching for them coz I found out they were trying to make bootleg portal fluid but they were gone" you picked at the skin around your nails, avoiding your Morty's gaze nervously though your attention was quickly brought back to him when he sighed "Don't worry about them [name], they've been dealt with..... now come on- can you help me with these papers" he smiled at you, gesturing to the seat next to him which you quickly sat down on. You can only assume that Morty sent the cops after them, and that they're now in prison.
🜸 ㅤ▎ㅤ▍ㅤLet's say you're evil with him, meaning that you agree with what he does, and so when you met c-137 Rick and Morty you too pretened to be normal until you didn't- you were the first person the two were introduced to as you sat with them to eat food before evil morty appeared. Both of you then confessing to the fact that you hated ricks and the citadel.
🜸 ㅤ▎ㅤ▍ㅤIf you were 'evil' like him, then it would be perfect- because then he would be able to leave everything behind with you! Which is brilliant coz that means it will be just the two of you together, no one else trying to disturb your relationship (until season seven episode five).
🜸 ㅤ▎ㅤ▍ㅤOverall, EVIL MORTY is a little extreme when it comes to his jealousy- he doesn't like being jealous so he takes care of the problems quickly and swiftly, the quicker the better.
#Ⓒ𝐓𝟎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝕽Σ𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝕷#x reader#requested#requests are open#requested x reader#x you#x y/n#rick and morty#rick and morty x reader#evil morty#evil morty x reader#jealousy hcs#jealousy#gender of reader is not specified#genderless reader#gn reader#not well written#slightly ooc#pls request
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