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sundays rule number 1: DON'T THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE

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#“he hacked us!”#forever salty#i will die mad about it#bc if there's anything i know how to do it's hold a grudge about a forgettable line in a 14 year old film#justice for my specialist little guy! @bishybarnaby

Bishy, you are so right about this. There are honestly at least half a dozen lines in the Craig!Bond films where I'm just like....okay, I know Q (or Bond) just said that on screen, in the actual movie, but. HE WOULD NOT SAY THAT. He would not DO that. >:( I just got off the phone with him and he says you characterized him badly and he's very upset about it. >:(

“He would not fucking say that” except its the badly written source material so he did, in fact, say that

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#bond was hoping to get playfully roughed up and 'forced' to sexually service Q#alas! Q is now making bond take his vitamins and schedule his colonoscopy and try out yoga nidra

Reblogging my own tags with more thoughts, because I do think Bond also finds a way to turn the tables and scam Q into improving his OWN health.

I do think Bond makes a point of defiantly telling Q that he (Bond) had nothing but black coffee this morning, nothing but whiskey for dinner last night, and he has not had a green vegetable in three days.

Q promptly orders a salad from the canteen and tries to bribe/cajole/scold/exhort Bond into eating it, and (after a suitable bit of resistance and bratting) Bond does allow himself to be 'forced' to eat half of it.

But if Q winds up somehow (mysteriously) eating the other half of the salad in the process...that is, of course, a complete accident! Simply a matter of preventing food waste!

And, perhaps, Bond stubbornly refuses to go to bed at a suitable hour unless Q is there to keep him company. Perhaps Bond refuses to do his yoga unless Q is there to coach/encourage/scold him through the process. Perhaps Bond grumpily refuses to take his icky vitamins unless Q takes them too.

Q does, in fact, get his way in all this, is the thing. He DOES get Bond to improve his diet, take regular naps, do low-impact exercises for his joints, meditate, catch up on overdue medical appointments, etc.

Bond is now hydrated flourishing moisturized etc! All thanks to Q, who has been gently domming him into self-improvement! Bond has, in fact, done all the things Q wanted and planned for him to do!

But...Q is now also eating salads on a regular basis and taking mental-health walks and going home at a sensible hour. Which is surely a coincidence and an unforeseen and unforeseeable side effect of healthifying Bond's life! Surely!

The ultimate dom!Q/sub!Bond dynamic. To me.

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The ultimate dom!Q/sub!Bond dynamic. To me.

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what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

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If you're having a private phone conversation with the phone off your ear, no headphones, and the speaker on in public, that's a public conversation now. That's an open invite, and I'm going to chime in if I have an opinion. This is now OUR disagreement about your boyfriend's spending habits.

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To me in 2016: if youre still on this website, fuck you but i understand

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i fucking hate the “this is the good luck post.” Girl stop contributing to a superstitious environment with ur anecdotes there’s a million goddamn notes on it it’s statistically reasonable that a bunch of people remember the good things that happen after they reblog it

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@colorschanging You're gonna love this. (x)

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...Okay, but I do think it's funny if Q takes this approach, actually.

Like, he wouldn't. He does respect Bond's autonomy, which is why he tries to psspsspss Bond into agreeing to be an indoor cat. Realistically (insofar as any of this even approaches 'realism') Q would not try to force Bond to do anything he does not choose to do.

But I also think it's funny if Q takes a very firm stance of 'outdoor cats (AKA, near-geriatric field agents who should've retired five years ago) are unethical, because even if they're technically able to look after themselves, they have a much shorter lifespan and worse quality of life, and also they are a threat to biodiversity (AKA, they might kill some people they probably shouldn't kill, or get into fights, or get involved in high-stakes gambling, or something)'.

Q is physically hauling Bond's whole entire hissing-and-spitting self off of a random bar stool and shoving Bond into his car, while patiently explaining to Moneypenny (who is witnessing this kidnapping) that really, this is better for everyone! It may look upsetting to an outsider, but Q is handling this drop-trapping of a semi-feral cat (AKA, abduction of one James Herbert Bond) very carefully and ethically and with full awareness of the risks involved to both parties!

Of course Bond doesn't seem to like being rescued. They never do, poor things. But Q will provide him with a much better quality of life and Bond will be much healthier and live longer, and he will adjust eventually. :)

Q will make sure he has plenty of enrichment. :) He'll give Bond supervised outdoor time and everything! :)

Moneypenny doesn't need to worry! Bond has been very sad and scraggly and probably has a sore paw and a tooth that needs to get pulled or something, which is why Q is scooping him up off the streets and taking him into captivity! It's For The Best!

it shouldnt be illegal to kidnap a guy if he looks really sad and you know he would have a better life in captivity

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it shouldnt be illegal to kidnap a guy if he looks really sad and you know he would have a better life in captivity

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Great, my supervisor took over my assignment.

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listen. we can and should criticize James Bond as a character, concept and franchise. however! it's immensely funny how hard they tried to maintain his womanizer persona but then they gave ben whishaw glasses and an ugly cardigan and had daniel craig look at him like this for three movies

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visibly sweating and stammering over my words and looking around nervously as I try to explain that all the best character arcs are about the inversion of a person's earliest established traits, it creates the most dramatic contrasts and subverts the story's established norms in interesting ways and keeps the flow of events dynamic, so just narratively, objectively speaking, I mean from a purely story-craft focused point of view, the most compelling thing for that suave and domineering character to do isn't to remain suave and domineering but to be brought low and have their cool commanding exterior taken away from them as they're forced to follow orders--hey no where are you going I promise I'm being very rational just let me expl

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Alternatively: Q is heavily pressured by the higher-ups to include more and more AI in order to 'streamline' things at MI6 and allow them to cut costs, increase 'efficiently', and lay off most of Q-branch (Q alone will keep his job).

Q is so hacked off that he says, "You know what? I can and will simply automate my own job and retire next week. Byyyyyye. Enjoy your all-AI-all-the-time-Q-branch. :)"

The rest of the movie is the new 007 dealing with this bullshit, trying to do his job while hampered by terrible intel and worse equipment, occasionally interspersed by scenes of Q lying peacefully on a white-sanded beach, enjoying his first vacation in years.

At last, after finishing the job despite every disadvantage, the 007 is so fed up and furious that he decides top priority is tracking down the 'former' quartermaster (who he has not yet met) and getting him back on the job.

He finds Q browsing through an art museum, and they stop in front of a painting...perhaps this one? And they have a discussion about how new technology changes the work irrevocably, and we can never return to days gone by.

No matter, Q says softly, how much we might wish to.

But, the new 007 points out, at least there should be someone on the scene who understands how the new tech works. An engineering driving the train, so to speak.

Someone, Q says, who knows when a switch ought to be pulled, or not pulled?

Well, the 007 says impatiently, at least someone who knows how a bloody switch works. At least someone who isn't making engineering decisions based on 'vibes'.

Q can't help but laugh at the derision in the new 007's voice.

He agrees to come back to MI6. They shake hands on it, and walk away together.

(And if you choose to believe that there is another man with familiar blue eyes, somewhat less dead than official reports would have you believe, and who has been thoroughly enjoying this holiday with Q...and if you choose to believe he'll be surreptitiously following Q back to London to keep an eye on both Q and his successor...I'm not going to disagree.)

in the new james bond movie they should have all bond's tech be ai and the whole movie is just him fighting for his fucking life trying to get these stupid fucking gadgets to do the one thing they're designed to do while the henchmen close in and in the end he just uses the latest stupid gadget as a bludgeon to brain the villain in the skull and then he gets back dumps it all on q's desk and quits again

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When a small mammal scrunches up and cleans its face and whiskers with its little hands very rapidly. I just wanted to give you that thought for a moment did u like it.

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