#it's my own community's tag but still
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A whumpee who was born with nystagmus. The whumper consistently forces them to stay awake for long periods of time. On top of all the other stuff that comes from sleep deprivation, their vision is shaking much more violently than before. They feel kind of dizzy, and everything is far too blurry.
#whump#whumpee#sleep deprivation#i'm not going to tag nystagmus because I don't want to clog the tag#it's my own community's tag but still#anyway#based on a few nights ago#shaky shaky vision. no good.#also i want more nystagmus repersentation#is it very uncommon? yes. do I care? no.#gimme rep
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i absolutely cannot believe people are trying to start discourse about whether nex benedict was actually nonbinary / whether it was okay for him to describe himself as nonbinary to some people if he didnât actually identify that way as if he isnât literally DEAD because he was KILLED. this is a MURDERED CHILD and these monsters are so busy getting mad at the possibility that he might have been a trans boy who described himself as nonbinary to his family because that was easier for them to take that theyâre turning a CHILD who was MURDERED into fucking discourse. even when we die at the hands of cis peopleâs violence, our own community finds a way to make us the villains of the story.
and all of this bullshit on top of the ways that cis people are already trying to say our grief over his death is unjustified. all of this on top of people claiming he wasnât murdered and speculating on other causes of death (i literally saw someone say he âclearly went home and took the cowardâs way outâ and i have never been more disgusted) or claiming that he started the fight as if any action on his part couldâve been enough to justify his death. i am haunted by the sound of his father screaming that his child was not filth because that is what people have been saying about this poor kid, thatâs how cruelly his memory is being treated, and even the trans community canât get itâs shit together enough to look past the stupid discourse and see the tragedy in front of us. did you all forget that it was supposed to be up to us to grieve him in the way he deserves when the rest of the world fails to care if people like him live or die? did you all forget that this child was our sibling, the future of our community, a life that we should have had the chance to know and treasure while he was still here but that we now have a responsibility to hold close to our hearts in his absence? nexâs life was precious and it was ended far too soon and if you truly believe that anything is more important than mourning his life and fighting for a world where no more trans people have to meet such an awful fate, youâre a traitor to this community and you do not deserve the place you occupy within it.
iâm so tired. i canât even imagine how tired his family must be, to see the public treat the child theyâre grieving so horribly, to see the world fail their baby again. leave him alone. he was already robbed of peace in life; the least you can do is let him finally have it in death.
#as a trans man whose family still uses they/them and neutral terms for me and would describe me as nonbinary#because that was how i initially came out to them and me being a man is a much bigger hurdle than i have the energy to help them get over#itâs SO deeply disturbing to know that if my life ended in violence#my own community would be more concerned with how my family referred to me in death than with the fact that i was killed#how fucking dare you turn this poor childâs existence into discourse fodder when they arenât even here to defend themselves#when you only even know who he is in the first place because he was killed#tw transphobic violence#nex benedict#tbh it feels wrong to even add my usual tags to this but i need people to see it so. here we go#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#exorsexism#trans men#transmascs
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Check in on your Jewish friends today please.
#october 7th#out of character#iâm not gonna bring politics into this stuff#but the antisemitism just about everywhere has been fucking insanity#so please. check in on them#edit more tags#iâm not fucking joking with this shit i will block you on sight the moment i see a peep of antisemitism#nor is this an open ticket to be islamophobic get tf off my blog#your king is actually kinda pissed#please for the love of god be normal about jewish people#and let them define their own terms#my heart goes out to palestinian civilians as well but this post is about jewish people bc i was raised jewish thanks#i donât do religion anymore but iâm still a part of the community#anyway iâm shutting up now
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ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means
#my t#transandrophobia#yeah ill tag it why tf not#i just dont understand why transmasculinity is scrutinized and dissected like this within the trans community#when its just not the case for other gendered trans folks amongst themselves more often than not these days#which is a good thing! a really really good thing! but why are we scapegoating transmascs#''we need more weird trans people!!'' yall cant even handle like. a pre-everything trans guy coming out for the first time#yall cant handle a pre-everything tguy wearing a tshirt without tearing him to shreds & calling him shit like afag/theyfab & ukelele boy#im tired of my identity being treated as a debate. i had enough of that in highschool as#very literally. **the only trans kid in my grade** surrounded by cis teachers & peers USING ME AND MY BODY AS A TALKING POINT#i was the only one who wasnt deeply closeted that is. and holy fuck do i still not blame anyone for being closeted in that school#why is it only okay to try to separate trans ppl from our gender when we're not fem/me#why is one celebrated and the other treated like radioactive waste **within our own community**#god i need to find an irl community fuckin badly online trans circles are hell on earth#ill be describing smth that happened to me as a clocky tguy and someone else will say TO MY FACE#that what happened to me wasnt bc i was a clocky guy but purely bc i was trans#like i. what. how. how does that make any kind of fucking sense#i wouldnt be clocky if i wasnt trying to look like my gender. like i. hello?#would u say that to any other trans person or am i just that special?
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Every so often I come across people going on about 'queer is a bad word, I'm not a terf but we shouldn't use that word in community/academic/etc settings, don't call me queer' and just
Okay
You're not queer
I won't call you that, no one should call you that, and anyone that does is being an asshole regardless of their identity or minority status. It doesn't matter what reasoning you have behind not wanting to be labelled as queer, what trauma you may or may not have, what you've identified as in the past and present, and whether or not your preference just comes to not liking the vibe of the word for entirely inscrutible reasons. No one has any right to pry.
If you say you're not queer, then you're not queer, and that's okay.
It just also means that if I, a queer person, talk about the queer community, then I'm not referring to you. If an academic refers to queer history and queer texts written by queer people about other queer people, they're also not talking about you. If a corporation starts using 'queer' in their ads then they can eat shit because fuck 'em, they have no fucking right to use our words when they aren't and have never been one of us, but if a well-meaning ally uses 'queer' as a one-syllable shorthand for LGBTQIA+ in a verbal conversation, then there's no reason for you to get any more annoyed at them as you would if they used the word 'gay' instead.
You have every single right to be labelled or not labelled as you like, and I will stand behind you all the way. If someone is trying to shove 'queer' on you when you really don't want it? Then I will happily, metaphorically, deck them in the face for you. We are still family, whatever you choose to call yourself, and it's important that we stick together.
But
If you aren't queer, and you get frustrated when you see queer people talking about the queer community, take a deep breath, and consider:
They aren't talking about you
#ky stuff#grumble grumble grumble#i'm not going to go into any of the reasons that people could not want to use the word queer#because y'know what#they're valid!#and i trust people to know their own minds and emotions!#i'm not here to persuade you otherwise right now#or ask you to examine your feelings and double-check for terf brainworms#my current irritation is 100% people misunderstanding that when we go on 'queer is good actually' rants#we don't mean everyone needs to use it zero choice zero leeway you're all queer now#anyway fave LGBTQ+ verbal shorthand is 'alphabet soup'#or 'alphabet community'#*way* too casual for academia but very fun to say#also hello dear reader if you're this far into the tags and i still have your attention#please have this rat as a token of my gratitude -> áâÌ€áá·#(geddit?)#(gRATitude???)#(I'm Funny)
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abed is better than me because I would NOT have been chill with the prospect of sloppy narcissistic season 1 jeff sharing my dorm room with me indefinitely
#sure I might have offered at first#but I cannot handle someone else constantly being in my space like that#I have my own room rn for the first time since before my little brother was born (heâs a year younger than me)#and I am NOT going back unless there is literally no other option#also yeah yeah I know characterization#abed craves genuine human connection and is under the impression that jeff is a master#and jeff is slowly realizing that everyone at greendale can tell heâs a materialistic douchebag with little substance#and the two of them understand each other in a way no one else does#catalyzed by their mutual love for tv#but I still would have been driven crazy by this man in my space 24/7#anyway I think the tags are annoyingly long enough#community#nbc community#community nbc#abed nadir#jeff winger
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I heard this put so well, but hearing somebody say that conversion to judaism isn't just about the good - torah, being part of a peoplehood, the fulfilling parts - it's also about joining the tragic. You join the people who went through the shoah, pogroms, displacement, and all of this throughout history. It's a really scary thought, and I don't imagine it's any easier for jews post-conversion or born jews.
Learning to balance the sense of scale of jewish history with the joy of torah and peoplehood is something that's difficult. The joy must outweigh the horror though, I think. But knowing all of this has made me confident that I am making an informed decision, which makes me even more confident
#jumblr#jewish conversion#jew by choice#personal thoughts tag#antisemitism tw#shoah tw#i find myself frozen in fear when i think too hard about it... but then i read and learn about judaism and suddenly that melts away a bit#yes one must find joy in the people and the religion i think. but you have to be fully informed about this#the convert is in a very special condition that i think is unique and it's the choice to undergo all of this#it's learning about the good and the tragic and then deciding that you will still join the people#and seeing jews who are fulfilled and who are joyous has made me realize that... history will happen but that doesn't mean it's for nothing#i talk about this a lot but it's on my mind all the time#and i hope that as i go through learning with a(n irl) community that i will stop feeling as scared#because there is a sense of courage you find when you are with others and unfortunately i don't have that right now#my learning is very solitary right now in that i am doing it on my own#i am being taught by a VARIETY of people and i will always remember that kindness but it'll be different when there's actually others around
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skĆodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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#just make your own things away from#-endos if you hate us so much#endos/proendos: if antis want their own stuff and spaces away from us then they should make those things#anti endos: *creating atlasduo and the syspunk tag*#endos/proendos: i cant believe theyre actually doing that! wow! lets raid the tag and insult them for doing what we wanted them to!#i know this is a stretch but i cant help but feel reminded of how people would tell me to do things and then get mad at me for following-#-their exact instructions and taking them seriously. because apparently i wasnt supposed to actually do that. except now im not the victim-#-of that. and now the people who are on my side are doing that. i hate it. i hate it so much. dont say ONLY TO INVADE AND MOCK THE THINGS#also: congrats!! you are proving all of them right when they say we dont respect boundaries and crosstag!! you're making it worse!!#i can kind of understand the tag aspect simply because theyre calling themselves âpunkâ when theyre so fond of the psychiatric field.#but its still a dick move. and its even worse to say that if antis want versions of sp and pk that arent proendo they should make their own#-bot and app only to mock them for doing exactly that. it just reminds me too much of past experiences. i hate people that do that.#i dont care if they hate me at this point im with the anti endos on this one. and frankly im very disappointed that im actually saying this#lol.exe#blackout poetry#pro endo#endo safe#endo friendly#anti rq#radqueers fuck off#this is a new level of syscourse im yelling at my own community now
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every single queer israeli soldier who thinks their actions are somehow helping liberate queer people is literally braindead
#israel#i/p conflict#literally disgusted by every single brainwashed queer in israel. ashamed of my own community.#'most progressive country in the middle east'#big words from a country that still wont allow gay marriage#pinkwashing#palestine#since im not seeing the tag anymore wth
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying đ«¶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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I really miss being in the scythe fandom it was small enough that we were tight knit but yet so active and thereâs just no other fandom Iâm in that makes me feel that way. I wish that experience didnât have to be ruined it just makes me sad⊠ex scytheblr mutuals anyone want to start a book club I need to fill this void
#not putting this in the scythe tag sorry#itâs mourning a community hours!!#if any of my fellow ex-scytheblr mutuals want to interact i still love all of you and miss you#and no judgment on anyone still in the fandom ofc#stepping away was my own personal choice and I stand by it but that was my choice alone and I still support those who stayed
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There was a post asking RPers with moon-worshipping characters how they handle the moon's revelation, especially with Endwalker. But! I am too shy to reblog that with my actual answers so instead I will post this two page rambling under a cut. (:
Okay, so I look at it through two lenses: 1) How much does your average citizen know about the big wide star and everything our beloved Warrior of Light gets up to in saving it all the time?
There are things in the real world I donât know and things I am shocked to find out other people donât know!
The history of the Star is vast and dense and no one can possibly know every crumb of it.Â
2) Faith requires a sort of peace in knowing you donât and wonât know certain things. If you have all the answers to all your questions, you donât need faith.
The asking of questions is vital, here. If you are not curious about the world around you how can you possibly come to love it and those it shelters? If you believe for a second that you have all the answers to all the questions then your curiosity dies.Â
That said with Odette and her convent it really boils down to:Â They donât know!
Odette is young, she may not have been alive during Dalamudâs fall and Bahamutâs defeat. Iâm not really sure because time bubbles and Iâm very vague with her age because time is my mortal enemy. When the moon started its fall the convent probably took it to mean: gods mad. Who wouldnât? Even the faithless might pray under such a thing, no? But the convent is secluded and news is slow to reach them and what does reach them is often embellished or outdated or just untrue. They must pick through the stories they are told and find the truth of the matter - which is subjective, as well! What is true for one might not be true for another.Â
It is a bit of a chore, is what I am trying to say, and unreliable narrators are aplenty.
Currently, the Convent believes that earlier scripture naming Dalamud as Menphinaâs Loyal Hound were written by Spoken who were trying to make sense of the world around them. They got it wrong, but no doubt there are things we get wrong even now with all our knowledge.Â
The point of their faith is not to get things 100% right all the time but rather to meet the star and her denizens with hearts full of love. They donât allow dogs at the convent, however.
The news out of EW is another matter since it still feels very fresh and new. Odette has stepped into the role of Nun Errant and she does relay information back to her Convent, either in person or via letter. I donât know if the news of the WoL fighting the 12 made papers and so far it seems that most of the Loporrits that stayed star-side are in Old Sharlayan to learn! A big ship did go beyond the moon but that was⊠beyond the moon! So, like the nuns, I donât know! They are but Spoken creatures, they question, yes, but it is difficult for them to see the grand picture being as small as they are. It should be noted that Odette is not the warrior of light. I try very hard for her to not know everything the warrior of light gets up to in the MSQ because she, realistically, would not know. Sheâs just some nun! What I CAN say is that if Odette knew everything that I, the player, know she would still worship the Moon and Menphina. Imprisoning Zodiark before more needless death, setting the Loporrits to building a fallback and escape plan, reincarnating her closest and most trusted allies to serve as deities and make sure he cannot be freed? Thatâs love, baby. Of course, Menphina, the deity of Love, would be the keeper of the moon and its secrets! Also, almost none of this answered the secondary questions but⊠This is already very long but I could go on about the dark side of the moon, what it means to love, and all that but Iâll end it with this: It is okay for your characters to be wrong and make mistakes, IC! Let them have harmlessly bad and factually untrue opinions.Â
BONUS: I recall a question about how a manmade moon might effect a god or goddess who is tied to it! But -- prayer and belief is were deities get their powers.
Well, the 12 as we know them are kind of âmanmadeâ themselves. Yes, Venat sort of reincarnated her most trusted allies, however⊠It was shown that prayers have the power to change them! We know that this altered Halone in some ways and I believe that it altered Menphina the same. Basically: Enough of her worshippers thought Dalamud was her âloyal houndâ and so she got a loyal hound. So, why should the moon(s) be any different?
#Menphina#O! Holy Lover#I don't know if I should tag this OOC or whatever but look it's a lotta words#so don't feel pressured to read it#also!!! there are!!!! spoilers for EW IN HERE!!!!!!#but anyway yeah like the whole point of faith is that it is for the people#obviously people twist faith for their own gain because mortals are flawed#but like part of why faith still draws so many people is that there is some freedom in knowing you DON'T know things#and that someone out there has your best interest at heart you know?#anyway I am not religious at all OOC but I find religion to be worthy of respect for the comfort it brings people#and also for the care it encourages among communities#also this is VERY very long so if you DO read it I would love to know your thoughts and my DMS are open for them!!
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Sorry for disappearing, it will happen again
(but not before I post my latest fic)
#long time no see tumblr!!!#it's been a (loooooooong) while and i won't go into details - plz don't ask - it just sucked hard but it's well on the way to better now#turns out i really suck at social media and community in general#i say anxiety and neurospicy - my psychiatrist basically says 'do it scared but do it'#sooo still wondering how to run this blog#miss you tumblr miss you fandom miss you mutuals i haven't talked with sinceforever - u aren't that many but u know who u are#uhhhhh might reblog fanart soon-ish#right now i'll go answer the comments I received on AO3 while I was afk (yayyyy thank you readers i love you)#might post that fic too when i'm done editing and I'll see how that goes (Shanks x Buggy nation I'm back! But this time with polycules!!)#OP-wise I'm up-to-date with the manga but well behind the anime - plz don't talk to me about the fan letter I'm not here yet#nae's ramblings#<- i forgot my own tags I had to check my pinned post T_T
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Remembering the toxic hellscape that was 2015-2019ish SU fandom and just how much hate the show got is really insane when you rewatch the show after it's been a while. Like the show is good what the hell were any of these people talking about
#do NOT quote me on those numbers i pulled them straight out of my ass#like the ending was rushed and the diamonds didnt get to be fully developed but liek#the whole reason that was the case is there was an entire 6th season planned#and then the show got axed early because rebecca sugar and crew refused the back down on the rupphire wedding.#and even rushedness aside like the point of the show was never that you should hug fascists and forgive people no matter what#the diamond were rose's (and his) dysfunctional family whose personal suffering became the basis for the cruelty of gem society#bismuth in The Real World would have been right to want to kill the diamonds as a force of revolution#but the point of the show is that even the most complicated people are still people who can change. even if you dont forgive them#even steven quartz universe the most loving boy in the world very obviously does not like being around the diamonds. but that is how it is#it was a children's show that emphasized compassion and communication and family as themes. of course steven didnt kill the diamonds lol#i really fully believe the stevenbomb format (which was not the crew's choice or fault) cooked peoples' brains#you had months between major arcs so every wrongdoing by a character had months to be warped and misinterpreted and so no resolution could#ever satisfy fans who were festering with their own opinions for way too long#like these arcs looking back are not that long and they resolve in fairly reasonable manners but they took fuckin forever in real time to#wrap up#and ppl on the internet with no other hobbies than arguing made the fandom suck to be in and gave su a bad name#even if you dont like steven universe i think the amount of vitriol thrown at the show is/was fucking INSANE for what it is lmaooo#people were so so jolly to accuse rebecca sugar (a jewish lady) of being a fascist/fash sympathizer and paint every writing shortcoming or#morally dubious character action as a sign of pure fuckin evil#ok that was a long ass fuckin rant in the tags i am so sorry i'm just kind of opinionated on this matter as i am all matters#i've been rewatching su with my dad lately and this very normal and well paced and fun watchthrough experience has been illuminating#just how insane and uncalled for the hellish discourse sphere around su was/is#i say was/is i have no idea what su discourse is like nowadays. i'm too scareds to look in the su crit tag
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U know what actually. Another thing thatâs cool abt sex w older partners is that theyâre generally more normal about disability. You can say itâs inherently predatory if someone 30+ fucks someone whoâs like 25 but a lot of the time theyâre a lot more mindful about bodily needs.
Iâll never forget the guy in his 40s who would repeatedly ask which restraints and toys were disability friendly for me and made me feel safe asking to change positions if my muscles hurt, or the woman in her 50s who asked if I had any kind of medical devices implanted or any medical conditions that could be triggered by anything she may do.
Like ok yeah those people âvictimizedâ me but the people in their 20s who would misgender me during sex or say mean things about my body and compare me unfavorably to abled people, are inherently safer. Ok
#young disabled people are cool in similar ways too they just generally are only cool w disabilities similar to their own#whereas older people have seen it all#this is all referring to before my current relationship obvi btw#Iâm blessed with a partner who gives so many fucks about my physical and emotional comfort#like I feel like I can change things up if Iâm hurting and theyâll be just as happy etc#theyâre disabled too in different ways and like close to my age#itâs just. that feels like above and beyond to me. like Iâve struck gold w this one person#before them I felt like I had to seek out specific communities and events in order to have sex without being shamed#and then still get shamed by people outside these communities who donât have to think abt any of that#mine#txt#disability#nsft#idk how to tag this
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