#it's my fault because i wanted to do those things

[777heavengirl]

Bless the Telephone ; ##02

James Potter x f!muggle!reader

word count: 1,511

warnings: i dont think theres any? lmk...

a/n: :) i hope yall like it, at the rate im pumping these out i might do two updates per week but we'll see how that goes..."

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You sighed as you opened the door, the various bags of food, toiletries, clothes, and whatever else you had picked up during the day made your arms feel like they might fall off, cutting into your skin and your circulation. Your fingers had gone numb two stops away from your apartment, you could feel the relief as you dumped half the bags on the kitchen counter. 

You dumped the other half and the backpack that hung heavy across your back in your room. 

“Hey, darling-” your roommate popped her head up from where she lay on the couch, wild curls practically floating around her. “Yer phone’s been ringing nonstop for like an hour-”

You groaned, glancing at the clock briefly while putting your shopping in their rightful places. 

7:30 p.m.

“D’you know who it was?”

“Why would you ever think I’d get up to check?” She popped some chips into her mouth with a laugh

You turned, hands on your hips, a small smirk playing on your lips 

“You mean to tell me you’d rather put up with the ringing than get up?” 

“Yeah- why not? Turn up the telly and boom- can’t even hear a thing mate” She said, smiling from the couch. You couldn’t help but laugh along with her-

The phone rang, not as violent as that morning two days ago, sound muffled by the wall and your closed door. It was loud nonetheless.

Your roommate turned up the volume of the television.

“Talk of the devil!” she screamed through the roaring sound of whatever trashy game show she was watching.

You dragged yourself to your room, closing the door behind you. You could still hear the exaggerated volume of the telly. The phone kept on ringing, the red light angrily flashing at you to go pick it up already-

“Hello?” 

“Where’ve you been?” it was teasing, you wanted to say it was his voice. The mysterious voice on the phone, one Mr James Potter. You weren’t sure. You didn’t know how to feel about it either.

“Who is this?”

“Woah, one day and you’ve already forgotten me- you’re breaking my heart here sweetheart” the voice crackled through the static of the receiver. Oh it was definitely Mr James Potter calling again

“Potter?”

“James- But yes”

“Ah! That one- to what do I owe the pleasure?” You bit your lip slightly, excitement turning in your stomach. You grabbed the base of the phone, moving the machine as close to your bed as the cable would let you, the rest of the stretch between your bed and the telephone could be covered by the curled plastic cord. You sat on the mattress.

“Do you know any other Potters?”

“Just the one- but to be fair, I don't really know you either”

“Mhm… fair enough, I think I only know one other person with your name-”

“Really?” 

“Yeah, nasty woman really- called me daft two days ago,” he said, tone serious as if recounting a deeply wounding moment… you let out a laugh “You wouldn’t believe how rude she was to me”

“Oh was she really? That’s terrible news, maybe it was because you called her— a stranger by the way, at four in the bloody morning”

“You got me, wasn’t on purpose though— you still haven’t answered my question by the way” You could hear that little smirk on his lips again

“What would that be Potter?”

“James- but where were you?”

“What’s it to you? Trying to stalk me or something?” you could feel your heartbeat quicken, 

“I just tried calling earlier-”

“Yeah, my roommate said, the phone rang a ton— were those all you or should I check my messages?”

“I wasn’t sure I was hitting the right number okay? pissed off a few other people too”

“Oh so this is the norm for you-”

“Hey! It isn’t my fault, I just didn’t know how to do the little- you know…” had this guy ever used a phone before? “call the previous number thing- ugh I don’t know what it’s called but whatever I didn’t know how it worked” he huffed

“Potter, are you a ten-year-old boy? Scratch that, my cousin knows how to do that- maybe you are daft”

“If I say yes will you tell me what you were up to?” he said, you laughed again

“I was running some errands, nothing special… why’d you wanna know?” you raised an eyebrow, you curled the cable around your index finger, the rest of the cool plastic wrapping around your hand. 

“Was just wondering…”

A beat.

“I realize now that me calling you back might be strange-”

“You don’t say- only took you about ten minutes of conversation, you didn’t think about that before you called?”

“Not really- my mum says I lack impulse control,”

“I can tell you have zero of that-” 

“she blames Dad but we both know she’s the one I got it from” he chuckled, and you couldn’t help but mirror it. 

“You still haven’t answered my question, Potter-”

“You really not going to call me James?”

“No- I don’t know you-”

“I guess that's fair enough- what was your question?”

“Why’d you call?” he stayed quiet for a couple of seconds, almost as if thinking deeply about your question before his voice broke through the static again.

“Honestly?”

“Obviously-” you retorted, another chuckle left his lips.

“I don’t really know… I don’t really have a reason I just wanted to talk” you mouled over his answer, strange but not bad.

“You don‘t have friends for that already?”

“You’ve never made new friends with complete strangers?”

“Not like this-” you traced a pattern onto your sheets as you spoke, 

“Well, I can be the first! so how old are you?” he sounded giddy “If I say I’m sixty five will you leave me alone?”

“It would be worse- I love old ladies, but they love me immediately so I suspect you aren’t one”

“because I don’t immediately love you?”

“obviously” he mirrored you “I’m twenty-“

“What a coincidence, so am I” you whispered, he heard you nonetheless

You pursed your lips to suppress a smile as James asked questions and explained things about his life that you didn’t ask for. You felt quite silly- talking on the phone with a boy you’d never met, you didn’t know what he looked like, nor if he was really who he said he was.

His tone and his rambles seemed genuine enough, he was a very peculiar boy- talking about how he was mildly scared of the tube but my mate Sirius loved it. 

“Is this Sirius one of the voices I heard last time?”

“Yeah- he asked if you were pretty which looking back might’ve been a little rude”

“Eh- maybe, I’d feel terrible to disappoint him though”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know if he’s expecting some striking supermodel to be answering the phone…” you trailed off slightly, James went quiet “I reckon I’m alright though”

“You’re probably selling yourself short doll,“

“Anyway- what do you do?”

“What do you mean love?”

“Like are you in Uni? or something else?”

“Oh! umm- something else for sure”

“What?”

“What?”

“Potter- like what do you do? you know… with your life”

“I just live? I don’t know- d’you mean like occupationally?”

“Yes occupationally idiot-“

“Okay okay don’t yell at me— you’ll break my little heart babe come on-“ he cleared his throat a couple of times  “I kind of work for my father I guess? What do you do?”

“I go to Uni- I also work at a little coffee shop on weekends… what does your father do?”

“he makes hair potions-“ he said, almost choking on his words. you raised an eyebrow 

“like hair gel and shit?”

“y-yeah that’s what I meant like… conditioners and s-styling… gels… and shit” you laughed out loud, not being able to conceal it this time. a short series of giggles that delighted James ever so slightly. You could hear him get quiet briefly, almost as if he was running out of words “What do you do in this Uni of yours?”

“Administration… not the most thrilling field I fear”

“I’m assuming you’re not the fondest of it then”

“not particularly, but it’ll do… do you like working for your dad?”

“he’s made a ton of money with his products- I’m very proud of him for it… to be honest probably not what I wanted to do with my life but it’s not… difficult, so I can focus on other things, more exciting things so I really can’t complain…” he was about to continue, rambling about the silver linings of it.

you interrupted “What did you want to do?” 

“Pardon?” he asked, 

“With your life James- what did you want to do with your life?” 

You thought he had stayed quiet, maybe thinking, searching for the words until the dial tone rang in your ear— he had hung up. You stared at the phone as you put it back on the base.

Peculiar boy wasn’t he?

tags ; @ilovejamespottersomuch @ravisinghs-wife @hidontmindtheintrovert @stella-thestars @caspiankingofnarnia @lovelyteenagebeard @starkluvrr @hisparentsgallerryy @leilani13gc

permanent tag ; @laufeysvalentine

pls send me an ask if you wanna be added!

[pbaz7]

AGAINST THE TIDE: PART EIGHT

paige x azzi

word count: 3.5k

A/N: I’m sorry 😔 it’s necessary for the plot. It’s also kinda all the other writers fault because they broke my heart too many times with their updates recently so I was being a masochist. Leave some live reactions and I’ll make it up to you before the weekend is over.

—————————————————————————

September 2022

It had been a whirlwind of a few months for Paige. Between tearing her ACL during a pickup game in August and spending weeks avoiding everyone—including Azzi—things had been rough. At first, Paige couldn’t stand to be around anyone, the weight of her injury crushing her spirit. She didn’t understand why this kept happening to her. The most she could manage was sitting silently on FaceTime with Azzi, who didn’t push, didn’t prod—just sat there on the other end, offering quiet support.

Eventually, Paige started to miss her. Not just the quiet presence on the phone, but Azzi herself. She missed her laugh, her teasing comments, and the way she always seemed to know when Paige needed someone to hold her together. She knew she wouldn’t get better by sulking, so she started physical therapy. Azzi, of course, was by her side every step of the way, cheering her on through the grueling sessions and sneaking in snacks when she thought the trainers weren’t looking. One day Paige even pointed out that Azzi didn’t have to sneak her snacks, she could just give them to her and Azzi shushed her saying it was no fun that way.

The connection between them was undeniable, and as soon as they were back to spending every moment together in person, they fell right back into their old habits—flirting, teasing, and, inevitably, sleeping together. They had been doing that a lot since that night in the Jeep.

Now, their situationship was as confusing as ever. Best friends, friends with benefits, something more—they didn’t bother defining it. What mattered to Azzi was that they were together in some way, even if it wasn’t official.

The team’s popularity had skyrocketed since their championship run, with Paige’s popularity growing right along with it. It seemed like every time they went out, someone stopped her for pictures or autographs. Paige always said yes, her natural charisma making her a magnet for attention. Azzi usually found it amusing—until recently.

She’d never considered herself a jealous person before, but watching people fawn over Paige had started to get under her skin in ways she didn’t want to admit. Paige always teased her about it when they got back to their room, whispering in her ear about how she only had eyes for Azzi. Those moments usually ended with clothes scattered across the floor and all frustration Azzi had prior completely gone.

Tonight, the team was at Ted’s, their usual hangout spot. Paige, still on crutches, sat at their table while Azzi headed to the bar to grab them drinks. Insisting that she didn’t want Paige hobbling across the crowded room.

While waiting for the bartender, Azzi glanced back toward the team’s table—and froze. Three random girls had surrounded Paige, their body language a little too friendly for her liking.

One of them leaned in, her hand brushing against Paige’s forearm as she laughed at something the blonde said. Another one tossed her hair over her shoulder, clearly trying to get Paige’s attention. The third girl just stood there, starry-eyed, hanging on Paige’s every word, though Paige wasn’t saying much.

Paige just smiled and nodded as they spoke, her natural charm working its magic even though she wasn’t meaning for it to.

Paige’s gaze suddenly shifted, locking with Azzi’s from across the room. A slow, knowing smirk spread across her face as if she could feel the possessiveness simmering behind Azzi’s dark eyes. She winked, and Azzi’s jaw clenched.

Azzi grabbed their drinks from the bar, her grip tight around the glasses as she made her way back. When she reached the table, one of the girls noticed her approach and immediately lit up.

“Oh my god, you’re Azzi, right? Paige’s teammate?” she asked, her tone overly friendly.

Azzi raised an eyebrow, placing the drinks down. “Yeah. Teammate,” she replied coolly, slipping into the seat next to Paige—closer than necessary, her shoulder brushing Paige’s.

Paige looked over, biting back a smile at Azzi’s obvious claim of space. “Thanks, Az,” she said lightly, reaching for her drink.

The girls, undeterred, continued talking over one another, their eagerness to capture Paige’s attention almost comical. Paige didn’t lean into it, but she didn’t shut it down either, her polite demeanor keeping the conversation going.

“So, Paige,” one of the girls said, a playful edge to her voice. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Before Paige could respond, Azzi froze beside her, her grip on her drink a little tight.

“No,” Paige said simply, her tone casual.

Azzi scoffed, the sound loud enough to draw Paige’s attention. Paige glanced at her briefly, her expression unreadable, before turning back to the girls. “Not really looking, though,” she added.

Azzi opened her mouth, ready to make a smart comment, but before she could, one of the girls leaned in closer to Paige. In her attempt to get Paige’s attention, the girl bumped Paige’s injured knee.

Paige winced, her hand immediately going to her leg. The sharp intake of breath she let out wasn’t loud, but it was enough to make Azzi snap.

“You need to be careful,” Azzi said, her voice a little tight, cutting through the noise around them.

The girls all froze, surprised by the sudden shift in Azzi’s tone. She glared at them, her usual calm replaced by an edge of irritation. “I think you guys should go,” she said, her voice low and laced with a little venom.

The three exchanged glances, murmuring awkward excuses and apologies to Paige as they shuffled away, leaving Paige and Azzi alone at the table.

“You didn’t have to scare them off,” Paige said, though there was a hint of amusement in her voice as she reached for her drink.

Azzi turned to her, her gaze softening as it dropped to Paige’s knee. “You okay?”

Paige nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I’m fine. Didn’t know you were so protective.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair. “Someone has to be, considering how much you clearly love the attention.”

Paige chuckled, leaning toward her. “Only yours,” she whispered, her voice teasing.

Azzi’s lips twitched into a reluctant smile, her earlier anger melting away as Paige’s words settled between them.

…

The night continued with its usual buzz, but Paige and Azzi remained in their corner, the tension between them slowly dissolving as they sipped their drinks. They’d fallen into their familiar rhythm, laughing and leaning close as they talked about everything and nothing all at the same time.

That was, until another woman approached their table, her sights set squarely on Paige. Azzi noticed her immediately—the confident stride, the deliberate way she positioned herself in Paige’s line of sight, and the overly friendly smile she flashed.

“Hi,” the woman said, her voice smooth as she directed her attention toward Paige, completely ignoring Azzi. “I just wanted to say I’m a huge fan. You’re incredible on the court.”

Paige, immersed in her conversation with Azzi, looked up, her expression polite but distant. “Thank you,” she said, her tone kind but not inviting.

The woman didn’t take the hint, shifting closer as she spoke again. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but if you ever have time, I’d love to pick your brain about basketball. Maybe over some dinner sometime?”

Azzi’s jaw tightened, and Paige caught the subtle shift in her posture. Without missing a beat, Paige reached for her drink, her free hand brushing against Azzi’s under the table.

“Sorry, but I’m not really looking for anything these days,” Paige replied smoothly, her eyes flicking briefly to Azzi before settling back on the woman. “But I appreciate the support.”

The woman hesitated, clearly not expecting the polite rejection, before finally backing off with a forced smile. Once she was out of earshot, Paige let out a soft sigh and turned to Azzi.

“Alright, I think that’s our cue to call it a night,” Paige said, standing carefully and grabbing her crutches.

Azzi stood as well, her expression still unreadable, though the corners of her mouth twitched upward. “Yeah, before I have to fend off another one.”

Paige laughed, leaning on her crutches as they made their way out of Ted’s. The cool night air greeted them as they stepped outside, and Azzi stayed close, her hand lightly brushing Paige’s arm every so often as they walked to the car.

When they got back to Paige’s apartment, the teasing smile was back on her lips as she closed the door behind them. She turned to Azzi, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

“You know,” Paige began, her voice low and playful, “I think it’s cute how jealous you always get.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, but the slight blush creeping up her neck betrayed her. “I wasn’t jealous,” she said, her tone defensive but unconvincing.

Paige grinned, stepping closer until they were nearly chest to chest. “Really? Because it definitely felt like it when you tensed up anytime somebody looked at me.”

Azzi crossed her arms, though her resolve was clearly slipping. “I was just protecting my teammates space,” she said, though the way her eyes softened as she looked at Paige said otherwise.

Paige leaned in, her lips brushing Azzi’s ear as she whispered, “I can show you why you don’t need to worry about nobody else.”

Azzi’s breath hitched, her arms falling to her sides as she looked at Paige, her expression caught between exasperation and anticipation.

“Fine,” she muttered, her voice barely audible. “But you better make it convincing.”

Paige smirked, her eyes darkening as she pulled Azzi closer. “Oh, I will.”

…

The next morning Paige stood in Azzi's room, leaning on the edge of the dresser as she pulled on her shirt. The room was quiet except for the soft rustle of fabric. She glanced at Azzi, who was seated on the bed scrolling through her phone, and decided to fill the silence with something she had been thinking about.

“I was thinking we could check out this spot downtown,” Paige began casually. “It’s got these cozy booths, good food—kinda intimate but not over the top. I think you’d like it.”

Azzi’s head looked up, her brow furrowing. “That sounds like a date, Paige.”

Paige shrugged as if the words didn’t sting. “Nah it doesn’t have to be a big deal. We can just grab some food.”

Azzi set her phone down, her voice a little firm. “Just because we don’t call it a date doesn’t mean it won’t feel like one.”

Paige’s jaw tightened, the easygoing front she tried to maintain cracking. “Is it the worst thing in the world for us to go on a date, Azzi?”

“Yes,” Azzi said immediately, her tone leaving no room for doubt. “Considering we aren’t dating.”

Paige let out a short laugh, but there was no humor in it. “Here we go with this again. So what is this then?” she asked, gesturing between them.

“It’s...complicated,” Azzi said, sighing as she ran a hand through her hair. “I really don’t want to argue about this today Paige.”

“No,” Paige said sharply, her voice rising. “It’s not complicated. We make it complicated. You make it complicated. God, Azzi, we spend every night together. You let me whisper all kinds of shit in your ear, you let me touch you—hell, you beg me to touch you—but you won’t let me take you to dinner? What the hell is that about?”

Azzi frowned, her frustration building. “You never get it, Paige. This isn’t just about us. I’ve told you that.”

“Then explain it to me,” Paige demanded, stepping away from the dresser, her crutches clacking against the hardwood floor.

Azzi sighed heavily, clearly reluctant to have this conversation. “You’ve already made a name for yourself. You could never play another game, and you’d still be drafted. Me? I’m still proving myself. I can’t afford distractions like that.”

Paige’s eyes narrowed, her voice tinged with anger. “Oh, so I’m a distraction now? Is that all I am to you?”

“That’s not what I said and you know it,” Azzi snapped.

“Then what are you saying, Azzi? Because honestly I’m getting a little sick of this half-in, half-out bullshit!” Paige’s voice was rising now, her emotions spilling over.

Azzi stood, pacing the room as she tried to collect her thoughts. “I’m saying this...this thing between us could complicate everything. The team, our careers—”

“So what, we'll just keep sneaking around forever in your mind?” Paige cuts her off, her tone incredulous as she says things she knows aren't true. “I’m good enough to sleep with but not good enough for you to actually be with. Is that what it is?”

“That’s not fair,” Azzi said, her voice tight.

“No, what’s not fair is what we’ve been doing!” Paige shot back. “You’ll scream my name all fucking night, let me do whatever I want to you, but God forbid I want hold your hand in public or call this what it is. Do you even hear yourself?”

Azzi stopped pacing, her face hardening. “You know it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like, Azzi?” Paige pressed, her voice cracking. “Because from where I’ve been standing, it looks like I don’t mean that much to you.”

Azzi’s expression softened for a moment, guilt flickering across her face. “You mean the world to me, Paige. You know that.”

Paige let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “Do I? Because it sure doesn’t feel like it when you won’t even agree to a simple date with me.”

Azzi threw her hands up in frustration. “I’m not dating my fucking teammate, Paige! I’ve told you that so many times. It’s too messy, and it’s not worth the risk.”

“Not worth the risk?” Paige repeated, her voice barely above a whisper. She grabbed her crutches, her movements sharp. “You’re unbelievable.”

Azzi stepped toward her, her voice softening. “Paige, don’t—”

“No,” Paige interrupted, her voice rising again. “You don’t want me to leave? Then stop treating me like I’m just some convenience for you. Because I’m not doing this anymore, Azzi. I’m not just some fuck toy for you to play with when it’s convenient. Find somebody else to fuck you if that’s all you want from me.”

“You know that’s not all I want!” Azzi protested, her voice desperate now.

“Then what the hell do you want, Azzi?” Paige asked, her voice a little raw.

“I don’t know!” Azzi yelled, the words hanging in the air.

Paige hesitated, her chest rising and falling as she fought against the lump in her throat. Finally, she looked Azzi in the eye, her voice quiet but trembling. “I love you, Azzi.”

The words hung in the air, heavy. Azzi froze, her expression unreadable as she stared at Paige not expecting her to say that in this moment. For a few agonizing seconds, she said nothing, and then softly, “Paige...I–”

The silence was all it took. Paige’s face hardened, her jaw tightening as she turned away. “Forget it,” she muttered, grabbing her crutches and heading for the door.

Azzi reached out, panic flashing across her face. “Paige, wait—it’s wet outside. Your crutches…You shouldn’t—”

“I really don’t want to look at you right now,” Paige cut her off, her voice icy. “I’ll be fine.”

With that, she walked out, the sound of the door slamming behind her echoing in the room. Azzi stood there, staring at the empty doorway, her chest tight as the weight of their argument settled over her. Azzi realized just how much she just fucked up and she didn’t know if she could fix it this time.

…

Azzi tried to give Paige some time to calm down so she left her alone for the rest of the day. But the next day after their fight, Azzi couldn’t stop thinking about her. She stared at her phone, her fingers flying across the screen as she sent text after text.

💗: Paige I’m sorry about yesterday, Can we please talk?

💗: I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never want to hurt you P.

💗: You mean everything to me, P.

💗: Please just let me fix this

💗: Paige, please…Just answer me

💗: Are you okay?

💗: How was physical therapy? Who took you?

💗: I thought about going but I figured you didn’t want me to.

💗: I hate how we left things

💗: I miss you P

💗: I know I messed up, please don’t shut me out.

By midday she had sent at least twenty messages and about a dozen phone calls to Paige, each one unanswered. She was about to give up for the day when her phone buzzed.

P 💗: ok.

That was it. Just two letters, but it was enough to send Azzi flying out the door.

Now Azzi was sitting in Paige’s room, the tension between them so suffocating it felt like the walls were closing in. They’d been talking for some time, exchanging quiet apologies for some of the harsh words they had thrown at each other the night before. But the heart of the issue still lingered, unspoken.

Azzi broke the silence, her voice soft but insistent. “I do love you, Paige.”

Paige’s breath caught for a moment before she exhaled slowly, shaking her head. “No, Az. You don’t.”

Azzi frowned, her expression a mix of confusion and hurt. “How can you say that? You don’t know how I feel.”

Paige met her gaze, her voice steady but tinged with sadness. “Because if you loved me—really loved me—we wouldn’t be in this situation. You’d want to be with me, Az. Not just here, not just like this, but completely.”

Azzi’s eyes softened, her hands clasping together tightly in her lap. “Paige, it’s not that simple.”

“It is to me,” Paige said quietly, her voice breaking just slightly. “I love you Azzi. I love you so much I’d give up anything for you. Do you understand that? I’d leave this team, this school, all of our friends, my dream of winning a championship here... I’d walk away from all of it, because none of it matters to me as much as you do.”

Azzi’s eyes began to glisten, but she stayed silent, the weight of Paige’s words settling over her.

“I’m not saying you have to do that to prove you love me,” Paige continued, her tone soft but firm. “But I know you don’t love me the way I love you. Not yet. Not even if you won’t let us try to be together.”

Azzi blinked, a tear slipping down her cheek. “That’s not fair, Paige. Just because I’m scared doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

Paige’s lips pressed into a thin line, her jaw tightening as she held back her own tears. “You might love the idea of me. Of us. Of what we have when no one else is looking. But love—real love—it’s more than that, Az and you know it. It’s being willing to take the risk, even when it’s scary. Even when it’s complicated.”

Azzi’s voice was a whisper. “It’s not just fear Paige I’ve told you that. You’ve already made a name for yourself. You could never play again and still be drafted. But me? I’m not there yet. I can’t afford to let anything get in the way of what I’ve been trying to build since I was a kid.”

Paige nodded slowly, her heart breaking even as she forced herself to stay composed. “I get it Az. I do. And I promise I’m not mad at you for it. I’ll keep supporting you But I can’t keep doing what we’re doing, Az. I can’t keep pretending I’m okay with having only part of you when I want so much more.”

Azzi’s breath hitched, her tears now falling freely. “So that’s it? We’re just... done?”

Paige hesitated, her voice trembling as she spoke. “Yeah I think we have to be.”

Azzi reached out, her hand holding Paige’s as their fingers intertwined. “I love you so much, Paige. Maybe not the way you want me to yet, but I promise I do.”

Paige closed her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek as she shook her head. “I can’t do ‘maybe,’ Az. Not with you. Not right now”

The room fell silent, the weight of her words hanging between them. After a moment, Azzi stood, her movements slow and reluctant.

At the door, she paused, glancing back at Paige. Her voice was barely audible. “You’re still my best friend, right?”

Paige gave her a small, sad smile. “Always, Azzi.”

Azzi nodded, her expression filled with sorrow as she whispered, “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want yet P.”

Before she stepped out, Azzi turned back one last time, her heart heavy with everything she felt like she couldn’t explain to the girl she loved more than anything. She moved toward Paige and, without a word, pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, her lips touching one of Paige’s tears, lingering just a moment longer than necessary. Her lips whispered against her skin as she pulled away, her voice barely a breath.

“I promise this isn’t the end of our story P. I just need time.”

Paige’s breath caught in her throat, but Azzi was already turning to leave. The door clicked shut behind her with a finality that echoed in Paige’s heart. Alone now, she let out a shaky breath, her hands covering her face as she laid back and the tears finally came.

[genderqueerdykes]

I promise this is just coming from someone who wants to learn, and I apologize if it sounds hateful or rude for what I'm about to ask that is not what I want at all,

but when it comes to systems, DID, plurality, from what I have heard, it is something extremely extremely rare, and something that most people under the age of 25 the body isn't even supposed to like "reveal" until older. I'm just confused and I would really like to hear from someone who actually is plural and not just from like Google

is being a system, DID, and plurality even the same? And the only plural people I have met irl have like 25,000+ alters of dsmp characters (I ofc know not everyone who is plural isnt just fictive and it's all different)

just a very confused person who isn't plural and I would really like to learn and be educated !! I would really like to understand more and hate unreasonably for something I don't understand

hello there!

you can be plural without having DID. there's not really much else to it. DID is one form of plurality. it's not the end all be all of plurality. there are even other dissociative disorders like OSDD that get cast by the wayside when people adopt this kind of mentality. there's so much more to plurality than DID. also, there is no set age at which the symptoms at DID become apparent on the outside. i've been having dissociative symptoms since i was a kid. my alters were active and present even as a teenager!

relying on medical statistics alone for DID is a bad idea because most professionals who are capable of diagnosing someone with a mental health condition don't even know what dissociative disorders are or what they entail. my own therapist has known that I have DID the entire time i've known her, but she has told me that currently, she can't help me with it, because she has not received training for it. dissociative disorders are nowhere near as rare as we think they are, one has to consider that a number even as low as 1% - 2% of the global population is an absolutely massive number of people!

saying that DID is "extremely rare" in this case in order to discredit non dissociative plurals is an appeal to authority. it's appealing to the medical industry who refuses to take it seriously in the first place. the amount of professionals i've had who pointed out that i have dissociative disorders vs. the ones who never commented on it at all is pretty staggering. this is due to a lack of proper research due to lack of funding, not because DID is genuinely that rare. the reason there isn't more research into plurality in general is because of a lack of funding. medical studies and organizations require funding. if they don't see money in it, they won't do it.

DID is still a heavily stigmatized condition. things haven't gotten much better since it was renamed from Multiple Personality Disorder. people with dissociative disorders are still treated like shit in medical settings, so to me, it makes no sense at all whatsoever to pit dissociatives against other plurals because no one takes ANY of us seriously, it's not non-dissociative plurals' faults that we're not taken seriously. it's the medical industry. there are no medications to push for DID. DID does not respond to medication. this already makes a lot of doctors not want to interact with it at all, because there's no commissions for medications prescribed.

"And the only plural people I have met irl have like 25,000+ alters of dsmp characters."

i'm pointing this out gently, i don't think you're a bad person, but this is sooooo mean, please don't be that mean and judgmental about other people, plural or not. please consider how those people would feel if they heard you talking about them like that. even if you don't view them as plural, you shouldn't think it's okay to discredit their lived experience. what are you getting out of phrasing it like that? even if that person turns out to not be plural, please do not judge other people based off of things like this. you don't live inside of their head. you don't know what's going on in there.

i'm not entirely sure why people think this way about introjects and fictives, but they're an extremely normal part of the plural experience! one of the most well known DID systems of all time, Truddi Chase and The Troops, had not only fictional alters (Elvira) but also factual ones as well (Mean Joe Green). this is not new, nor is it isolated to non dissociative plurals. introjects and fictives are extremely normal. it doesn't mean someone is faking just because they've introjected someone, or someones.

hope that helps, in general, please understand that the only lived experience that you are the arbiter of is your own and you cannot tell someone else what they're experiencing, no matter what. plurality will look different for every person, system and so on that experiences it! the sooner you accept that the easier your own life will become. it's not hurting you for someone to have headmates that you don't like. that's their business, not yours, and that's actually a very freeing thing!

great addition from the tags:

[jungwnies]

sfw alphabet | park sunghoon (en-)

୨ৎ : synopsis : sfw a-z alphabet for park sunghoon

୨ৎ : word count : 1366

୨ৎ masterlist ୨ৎ

(a/n) : don't forget to like & reblog !! my requests are open!

a ⤖ affection (how affectionate is he? how often does he show affection?)

sunghoon might not be the type to shout his love from the rooftops

but his affection is a quiet fire that burns steadily.

he'll leave you little notes hidden in your pockets

remember your favorite flower and surprise you with it "just because"

and his eyes will hold a special warmth when he looks at you.

b ⤖ beginning (what would he be like as a bsf; how would the friendship start?)

imagine bumping into him at a cozy café, both reaching for the same book on the shelf his dry wit and unexpected humor would draw you in

you'd find yourselves talking for hours, discovering a shared passion for music, art, or maybe even the quiet beauty of a snowy day.

c ⤖ cuddles (does he like to cuddle; how would he cuddle?)

oh, he absolutely loves to cuddle. picture this: a rainy sunday afternoon, soft blankets, and sunghoon holding you close, his chin resting on your head as you both get lost in a movie.

he'd be the perfect big spoon, his embrace a safe haven where you can let go of all your worries.

d ⤖ domestic (does he want to settle down; how good is he at cooking and cleaning?)

while he thrives in the spotlight, a part of him longs for the quiet comfort of a home with you.

he'd be surprisingly good at keeping things tidy, maybe even a bit of a neat freak.

cooking might be a learning curve, but he'd be eager to try new recipes with you, turning kitchen mishaps into laughter-filled memories.

e ⤖ ending (if he had to break up with you; how would he do it?)

breaking up would be his absolute last resort.

if it came to that, he'd do it with the utmost respect and honesty.

he'd choose a quiet place where you could talk privately, his eyes filled with sincerity and regret as he explained his reasons.

he wants to make sure you know it's not your fault.

f ⤖ fiance (how does he feel about commitment; would he want to get married quick?)

commitment is not something he takes lightly.

he'd want to be absolutely sure before proposing, ensuring that you're both ready for a lifetime together.

he wouldn't rush into marriage, but when he finally gets down on one knee, it would be a moment filled with deep love and a promise of forever.

g ⤖ gentle (how gentle is he; emotionally + physically?)

sunghoon's gentleness is woven into his very being.

he'd handle your heart with the care of a sculptor, always mindful of your feelings.

his touch would be feather-light, a whisper against your skin that sends shivers down your spine.

h ⤖ hugs (does he likes hugs; how often does he hug you; what are his hugs like?)

his hugs are rare but precious, a silent language of love.

he'd pull you close when you need it most, his arms a warm cocoon that melts away your stress.

his hugs would linger, a quiet moment of connection that speaks volumes.

i ⤖ i love you (how fast does he say he loves you?)

those three little words would be sacred to him.

he'd wait until the moment feels perfectly right

j ⤖ jealousy (how jealous does he get; what does he do when he is jealous?)

he's not the possessive type, but a flicker of jealousy might cross his face if someone gets a little too close.

he wouldn't make a scene, but he might subtly pull you closer or hold your hand a little tighter, a silent reminder that you're his.

k ⤖ kisses (what are his kisses like; where does he like to kiss you; where does he like to be kissed?)

his kisses are slow and tender, savoring every moment.

he'd adore kissing your forehead, a gesture of affection and protection.

he'd melt under your kisses on his jawline, a secret spot that sends shivers down his spine.

l ⤖ little ones (how is he around children?)

he might seem a bit awkward at first, but his playful side would emerge around children.

he'd be patient and kind, engaging them in imaginative games and making them laugh with silly faces.

m ⤖ morning (how are mornings spent with him?)

mornings with sunghoon would be slow and peaceful.

he'd wake you up with soft kisses and whispered "good mornings," followed by a leisurely breakfast in bed

definitely enjoying each other's company before the day begins.

n ⤖ night (how are nights spend with him?)

nights would be a blend of quiet intimacy and shared passions.

you might find yourselves curled up on the couch, lost in a good book, or sharing headphones as you listen to your favorite music

but the silence is 100% filled with unspoken affection.

o ⤖ open (when would he open up; does he say everything at once or does he wait to reveal himself?)

he'd open up like a blooming flower, slowly revealing his deepest thoughts and feelings as your bond deepens.

late-night conversations would become a sanctuary where you share your dreams and vulnerabilities

p ⤖ patience (how easily angered is he?)

his patience runs deep

he'd approach conflicts with understanding and a willingness to listen

always seeking a peaceful resolution.

q ⤖ quizzes (how much would he remember about you; does he remember every little detail; or is he forgetful?)

he'd be a keeper of your secrets, big and small.

he'd remember the way you take your coffee, your favorite song lyrics, and the story behind that tiny scar on your knee.

your life would be etched in his memory, a testament to his love and attention.

r ⤖ remember (what is his favorite moment in the relationship?)

his favorite moment might be the first time you looked at him with pure, unguarded love in your eyes

in that moment he knew he was falling for you just as hard as you were falling for him.

s ⤖ security (how protectice is he; how does he protect you; how would he like to be protected?)

he'd be your silent guardian, always looking out for you, whether it's holding your hand as you cross a busy street or defending you against unkind words.

he'd appreciate a partner who offers him emotional security, a safe space where he can be vulnerable without fear of judgment.

t ⤖ try (how much effort does he put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he believes in quality over quantity.

dates would be thoughtfully planned, anniversaries celebrated with heartfelt gestures, and gifts chosen with your personality in mind.

he'd show his love through everyday acts of kindness, from making you breakfast in bed to surprising you with your favorite takeout after a long day.

u ⤖ ugly (what are some of his bad habits?)

he might be a bit too hard on himself sometimes

always striving for perfection in everything he does.

he might also overthink things, getting lost in his own thoughts.

v ⤖ vanity (how concerned is he with his looks?)

he takes pride in his appearance, but it's more about self-care than vanity.

he understands the importance of looking his best

w ⤖ whole (would he feel incomplete without you?)

while he values his independence, you'd become an essential part of his life

for him, you're a source of joy and strength.

he'd cherish your presence, your laughter filling the spaces in his heart he didn't know existed.

x ⤖ xtra (random headcanon for him)

he secretly writes you love poems in his spare time, hiding them away in a special notebook

y ⤖ yuck (what are some things he wouldn't like; in general or in a partner?)

he wouldn't like dishonesty, rudeness, or people who try to pressure him into things he's not comfortable with.

in a partner, he'd value kindness, understanding, and a shared passion for life.

z ⤖ zzz (what are his sleeping habits?)

he might be a cuddler in his sleep, subconsciously seeking your warmth and comfort.

he might also talk in his sleep occasionally, murmuring sweet nothings that make your heart melt.

2021-2024 © jungwnies on tumblr | All rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize, or translate.

[capymosey]

on meljayvik & that bomb tinkering scene

i made a lil comment on this but i wanted to expand on it here since there’s no hard character limit

so, yeah, there’s a lot of what i would consider bs discourse on mel ignoring viktor etc and jayce and manipulation etc whatever blahblahblah i hate that shite because it really isn’t satisfying since it feels like people making claims on very little objective data

mel knows jayce couldnt take the bomb apart and she brings up this hot topic when viktor is in the middle of doing delicate, dangerous work. sure, he stops during it but she isn’t worried at all. she trusts him, jayce trusts him - they know he’s competent and brilliant and works well under pressure (“the resonance will stabilize it. trust me.”) so they are all ok to have this difficult convo during a very dangerous task

i did see some people stating viktor was also considering letting jayce and him die, whick is uhhhh something all right. viktor isn’t a fighter. he’s a scientist. he’s gentle, kind, quirky, but also a risk-taker. he isn’t someone who would hurt others, though. so as fun as that train of thought could be, i don’t buy it since it isn’t in line with who viktor is. i cant believe the same people who advocate for “there is always a choice”!viktor, and other such things about his character would even consider this line of thinking but whatever. it’s fandom 🤷‍♂️

i do think there is some great misunderstanding to characters because of ships and limited screen time to anyone who isn’t violet or jinx but i see the trio as a group who understand each other and work well together. yes, mel didnt realize how close jayce and viktor were before viktor got hospitalized, but she knows his mind and contributions. mel isnt an idiot. she knows shite. she researches and strategizes and she also knows viktor and jayce. just look back at any convo you might have with friends or family in groups of more than 2 people and this is like one glimpse into how the trio might talk to each other at any given time over any topic. not everyone always agrees with each other and sometimes you can tell when you can influence, for example, your dad over your mom regarding getting a pony. viktor’s name isnt on hextech public records so mel knows viktor has given up having a majority say on it (maybe because viktor is all about being behind the scenes, esp as his health continues to spiral, and jayce could also be at fault for not treating viktor like the partner he claims viktor is). sure, there’s some societal issues going on, too, but at this point - whether mel is still influenced by this piltover attitude or not - she cares about jayce enough at this point to value what he values, and one of those big things is viktor (which she undoubtedly knows coz he keeps going to her about him 😅). and when viktor strongly objects she looks at him like someone who wishes she didn’t have to suggest what she’s suggesting since her feelings about her mom/upbringing could be a factor she’s considering.

another big holy shit moment in this scene is mel bringing up heimer and showing he doesn’t always have the sway with jayce that she now does. heimer may have been neglectful of zaun, but now mel seems against zaun, too, and jayce is appearing to be agree with it (and he does, until the prep for the finale battle in s2)

like this scene is also more of a tie with the a bridge scene in showing jayce and viktor not sticking together. viktor is seeing jayce consider him less and less and seeing people from zaun as subhuman. jayce “understanding” grows less and less in his mind and viktor becomes more isolated. how can he trust jayce when jayce may not trust him (“they’re dangerous!” and “i need to think [about this on my own, without further convo with you, viktor, who i claim is my partner]” “defend your people”) and who can he depend on to help zaun if he’s dead and jayce is using hextech to take lives? he’s gotta take the risks. but sky’s death and the hexcore sentiently taking away the use of his leg show him the error of the path he starts and he just accepts death (not that he wants to die) as something that will happen irregardless of what happens after he’s gone. (too bad he just dies and we never see viktor in s2 until his theme comes up at the end when jayce gives him the cosmic hug)

also mel gives viktor another look before telling jayce the choice is his. i think she wishes he was on board coz then they might have come up with another solution but the show is written in a way where hextech is always the answer (i.e., weapons, etc) and not like…personal and political manouvering 😅

plus the trio smile at each other when an alternate option is approved by the council before jinx blows it all up. there’s some kind of dynamic going on here

anyway

my brain doesnt work this hard this long

i think fortiche should unleash their meljayvik vault of fics and help fandom out since they often partake and enjoy fanworks to help meljayvik out 🤣

p.s. can we instead focus on how hardcore viktor is in the end? not even a sigh of relief or anything showing stress. man is a well-oiled machine when it comes to how confident he in his choices. he already figured out the bomb and made a choice after getting distracted/frustrated with jayce

[rwuffles]

How & Why to add Plain Text to your Coining Posts!

[PT: How and why to add plain text to your coining posts. END PT.]

What is plain text?

Plain text is just text without any outside formatting (i.e. bold, italics, big, etc.) that's added to posts that have them.

Why do posts need plain text?

A lot of the time, it's for people who are visually impaired and/or who have any vision issues! Bolded or italics may be harder to read, big text might be worse for some people instead of better, and colored text could mess with a person's eyes (like me!) for some examples. At the end of the day, it's for accessibility!

Okay, how do I do plain text?

There's a few different ways you can write the plain text itself, and really, how you do it is up to you.

[PT: Text. END PT.]

[pt: text. end pt.]

PT: Text. END PT.

pt: text. end pt.

Those are just a few of the most common ways we see people write them; essentially, the core components are "PT" (to indicate a start of a plain text) and "END PT" (to indicate the end). As for the plain text itself, it should be the exact same thing but with proper grammar/vocabulary (other than capitalization, if you prefer all lowercase). Some examples are:

hallo!!! how r u doing today :333 -> PT: Hallo! How are you doing today? :3 [cat emoticon]. END PT.

vi'm doing good, how about kyu? -> [PT: Vi'm [I'm] doing good, how about you? END PT.]

th4t's g00d! h4v3 y0u n0t1c3d th4t 0ur tqs 4r3 ch4ng1ng 3v3ry m3ss4g3? -> pt: that's good! have you noticed that our tqs [typing quirks] are changing every message? end pt.

why ywes, the fictional character has! h♡ believes that the op of this post is a dork -> [pt: why yes, [i have]! h[heart] believes that the [original poster] of this post is a dork. end pt.]

Personally, if something needs to be changed in a plain text—that being an acronym, pronoun, or something else—I flip-flop between adding it next to it in brackets or parenthesis or just straight up replacing it in brackets. Either or works!

Where should I put plain text?

It depends on the text you're making plain, if that makes sense. For example: if it's something unreadable (i.e. replacing letters with numbers), then you're gonna want the plain text before the actual text. On the other hand, if it is readable—at least to screenreaders—you should put the plain text right below the text itself. Some people like to put all of the plain text at the end of their posts, too; the only thing you're going to want to stay away from is putting it under the cut! This is because if you change your URL (I believe) or deactivate your blog, anything under the cut is no longer accessible and therefore your post no longer has a plain text.

But, plain texts don't fit my post's aesthetic/make my posts look more cluttered!

Have you considered that, in that case, it isn't the plain text's fault? If your post has so many things that need separate plain texts that it ends up just making your post look bad, then I don't think that the plain text is to blame; having a million different things of text colored and bolded and using fancy fonts is just unnecessary. I like to think that my posts are fairly aesthetic, albeit a bit simple.

Could we get a boost for this post? (not forced!) @radiomogai @the-astropaws @local-maneater @hysangel @rabidbatboy @vampitsm @icwdtea @smilepilled @pupcoins

[bunni-v1]

bunni!!! im here with a thought! now i believe lighter is a total masochist. im all here for it. slap him, choke him, torture him, beat him if you wish… but what if you put a shock collar on him? yknow… for good measure. just incase he disobeys like a naughty boy…

imagine his little strangled noises, the whines as he knows hes about to be punished. mm… get him to beg for mercy, for you to forgive him and waive his punishment. do anything, just not the shock collar. you could even put him back in the cock cage! just dont shock him, please!!!

Mini!!! GTFO OF MY HEAD!!!! Jk ily pookie <3

I think the best thing about masochist Lighter is the fact that it's, in a way, incredibly selfish. He won't do things to you, ever, it goes against his moral code. Too loving and sweet to ever think about torturing you like that. On him, though, he's there to service. Use him as you please, that's what he's there for right?

Sure it's torturous and overstimulating and cruel, but you love it so how could he possibly refuse you? Even when you put the cage on, it's okay. He loves it because it's for you. The only issue is... he can easily overpower you if he wants. When you're overstimulating him and he wants to cum, he can just force you to let him because you can't overpower him.

You had to find a solution to, ah, train the behavior out of him. So, you went looking, and what you found was perfect. A pretty red collar with little gold studs, perfect for your pretty boy. You even got him tags, heart-shaped with your number on the back in case he got lost. When you present it to him he's almost confused. He wasn't really into pet play, but sure he'd give it a whirl, but you correct him and wave the remote that comes with it in his face.

Again, not something he considered, but with that smile on your face how could he say no. You let him test it out, picking the setting that he was most comfortable with (which was high, thanks to his insane pain tolerance) beforehand, and thus your little plan goes into action.

You don't use it at all during the usual session, drawing it out particularly long this time. It was more than Lighter was used to and it was almost too much for him to handle. You'd made him cum at least five -- he lost count after the fifth -- and now you were teasing him. It had been at least half an hour of you slowly dragging your fingers along his shaft, he was getting impatient, you could tell. He was whining and crying and drooling, but you just wouldn't give him what he wanted.

Usually, he's able to grab you by your thighs and get what he wants no problem, but you weren't gonna let him this time. As you feel those strong hands pull you, you reach over and press the button on the remote. The reaction is instantaneous, his entire body tensing under you, a confused moan rumbling from the back of his throat. Like the pain was unexpectedly nice to him. Best yet, he cums instantly, sticky white fluid coating your fingers.

"Ooo~ You liked that didn't you?~" You coo at him, and he flusters like a shy little puppy. So adorable. Unfortunately, you didn't tell him he could cum, so it seems like you would just have to draw it out a little longer. It was his fault he was being tortured anyway, he should just behave after all.

It becomes his least favorite, favorite method of torture you use. He can't help but love the sensation, how weak and helpless it makes him to your whims, not to mention how happy you get when he submits to the pain. But, it really sucks that he lost the one thing he had over you when he bottoms.

On good nights you won't bring it out, but the second he starts misbehaving you'll reach for the drawer you store it in, and he immediately gets in line. He'd rather you fuck him without the added threat of that horrible little thing.

[jynzzn]

Why can't you be like her? cyj.

Pairing : boyf!yeonjun X fem!reader

Synopsys : when his ex name slips off his mouth ( wow wow )

Genre : angst.

Warning : swearing here and there. Happy ending ( yeay ).

wc : 1.1k

note: not proofread.

It was Saturday evening , you and Yeonjun have a dinner date together because it's your anniversary. Anniversary. He's waiting for you to be ready in the living room while scrolling through his phone. What he felt like eternity, he looked at the time.

" where is she? " He huffed , tapping his foot impatiently looking rather displeased and annoyed.

" yn! Hurry up! " He said , his tone is impatient. Why are you taking so long to get ready? It's just a dinner. He thinks to himself. Mina would never let him wait this long. She would always be ready in time.

Meanwhile , you're just making the final touch. Looking at yourself in the stand mirror in the room to make sure you look all good and ready. You look beautiful as ever with your hair down and the dress he claimed to be his favourite whenever you wear it until you heard yeonjun from the other room. You sighed and look at the time , still have an hour left plus the restaurant wasn't even that far from where you live. Why is he always in a rush?

" coming! " You finally said and take your purse. Walking over to the door and opened it , heading out as you see yeonjun's sitting on the couch with his eyes narrowed while looking at something in his phone. He didn't notice you at first until you finally come up to his vision , he look up.

" what are you wearing? is this what you'll be wearing? " He asks , maybe he just forgot that he said this is his favourite? You just wanted to wear it for him to make it special since it's your anniversary.

" do you not like it ? "

" it looks bad on you. Do you want guys to hit on you? Why can't you just be like Mina and understand what I like and what I don't? "

The mentioned of Mina suddenly turns everything in your head 360. Why did he need to mention about his ex all the time?

" what's the need of mentioning her all the time? Mina here , Mina there. She fucking cheated on you for fuck sake." You snapped , it's true , Mina... cheated on him but that can't be the reason why he keeps on bringing her up. He doesn't move on yet? He said he did. " All the time we've been together you keep on mentioning her here and there. Wake up and fucking move on."

" I moved on alright?! It just slipped out from my mouth from time to time. It's not my fault you're not like her." He muttered.

" what the fuck yeonjun? Is that what you claim to move on from her? Not my fault I'm not her? are you hearing yourself? You sound crazy like a fucking pathetic ex who doesn't know how to move on. She fucking cheated with your own bestfriend. You caught them yourself in your bed that you used to share together , yet you keep bringing her up everytime. What? You love to get hurt by someone who doesn't deserve you? "

All the words you've been holding back all these times just come out from your mouth. He needs to know the truth and the things you've been bottling up to yourself , right? He deserves to know he's such an asshole who keeps on thinking about his ex.

He doesn't say anything because he know that you're right. Why did he keep on talking about his ex when she cheated on him? Why would he even talking about her when he got you? The one who deserves him right? He doesn't even know he answer. So he just stay silent and keep his head down.

" I'm not going anymore." You stated.

His head snapped back up when you said those words to look at you who's walking towards the bedroom looking rather disappointed by his actions. He needs to fix this.

" Wait- " He said as he goes after you but that's too late when you already close the door. " fuck , what have I done?" He muttered to himself , thinking of a way to fix all this. He needed to change and he needed you in his life. He can't let you walk away.

_________________________________________

It's been hours since and you haven't left the bedroom , yet , he keeps on knocking the door saying how ' sorry ' he is. Atleast he did say sorry to you right ?

" yn , baby , how long you're going to ignore me? I'm sorry , I really am. Please open the door and talk to me. " His tone pleading almost begging at this point. Safe to say he's actually begging to you to open the door and talk to him again.

What to be like eternity to him , you finally open the door and he immediately looks up seeing how puffy your eyes are probably from crying earlier which didn't go unnoticed by him even if he's outside the room. He sigh , knowing it's his fault and he hated the fact it's his fault.

Slowly and gently he walks closer to you , cupping for cheeks. " Baby , look at me. " You're uncertain at first but decide to just look at him and his heart feels hurt to see the sadness in your eyes. " I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said her name and all the things I've been saying to you earlier. You don't need to be like her , it's not your- " He paused , considering his next words before continuing.

" no fuck that , you're already perfect , baby. You don't need to be like her because you're never going to be her you're way much better than her. My pretty little angel. "

Your heart flattered at his words. His voice giving out the sincerity and he really mean what he said and you know it. How can you not anyway?

" I'm sorry , baby. It will never happen again if it did then you can hit me. Swear. "

" I might take up that chance you know." You replied along with a chuckles that left from your lips. He smile after seeing you laugh. He love it. He loves when he can make you smile again.

" I wouldn't mind one bit if you did, "

" but I really meant what I said. You're perfect , you're everything that I want. I don't want to let you go ever. I love you , baby."

" I love you too , jun "

Upon hearing your words , he doesn't miss a chance to leaned in , kissing your lips passionately. It's like the kiss is telling how sorry he is and how he loves you deeply. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pull you close to him until your body pressed against each other. Eventually , he pulled back after , resting his forehead against yours as he look at you. " do you know you look pretty when you cry? Make me wanna make you cry because of something else "

" jun , wh- hey! " Basically , you couldn't finish your words when he sweep you off your feet and laugh when you protest. " I'm just kidding , for the half of it. "

" oh fuck you "

" Bet. "

jynzzn note : my brain works better to write at night ( for the most of it ) it's supposed to be likes very short one but I guess that's not how it goes now 😭😭?? But I hope you enjoy this..I don't know what to call it.

030125

[samueldays]

To quote @morlock-holmes who blocked me so I can't reblog his post, imagine if you bought a pocket calculator at the store in 1980, and then in 1981 Texas Instruments sent you a letter saying, "The terms of use for our calculator have changed, in order to use the calculator you agree to waive any right to a jury trial or class action suit against Texas Instruments or any of its parents or subsidiaries. Continued use of the calculator constituted a binding agreement to these terms. If you do not agree you must immediately stop all use of your pocket calculator. No refund will be provided."

Seriously, writing that out really made it strike me even more how utterly abusive the modern age is to consumers.

The EULA, or End User License Agreement is a binding contract which one party may unilaterally change at any time for any reason and in any way they choose; the counterparty may not negotiate or change the terms of the contract and their only remedy in the case of changes that they don't like is to withdraw entirely from the contract.

Such contracts govern all use of software, which, since software governs the majority of our lives, mean that they now govern the majority of our lives.

Want to order a pizza? Better send the legal contract with the pizza company to the lawyer you keep on retainer and after looking over the documents he'll advise you on the legal ramifications of the pizza transaction.

Oh, you don't keep a lawyer on hand to advise you about ordering pizza or playing video games?

Well, then you can't complain if you don't like something buried in page 20 of the contract you signed with the pizza delivery company.

One of the massively dehumanizing things bureacracy does is demand something that is in practice impossible, like, "Keep a lawyer on retainer to scrutinize the terms of every pizza delivery contract, video rental, major appliance, and video game you interact with." and then condescendingly tell you,

"Well, if you don't do something as simple as that, whatever happens next is *your fault* and blaming someone else shows a weakness in your character."

One of the confounding problems if you want to argue with people who have some kind of luddite leanings is that, well, new technology feels nowadays like an imposition from hostile forces who know that they have you over the barrel because, uh, it is that thing. It is deliberately designed to be that thing.

I like having a cell phone. I hate waiving my right to a jury or to participate in a class action lawsuit. I would pay more, as a consumer, for a phone contract that did not have a binding arbitration clause. I couldn't find one.

So I decided that owning a phone was the lesser of two evils, and that will now be treated as a free choice which I have no right to complain about.

After all, if I wanted the right to join a class action suit I could simply forgo phone service and conduct all communications by the post.

And since I am allowed to choose whether I wish to have legal rights or a telephone, I am not allowed to complain about missing one or the other. After all, *I agreed* to give one of those things up :) :) :) :)

I think this move towards mass abuse of consumers really is one of the more underrated factors in, say, modern American politics.

[chaos-in-one]

I have never said that I want tolerance, nor have I really seen other lgbtq people say that. And no, wanting people to support our fucking human rights, which is literally all we are asking for support of, is not the reason they hate us. They hate us because they do not see us as deserving of those rights, they do not see us as equal. A lot of them very clearly see us being gay, trans, etc. as gross or immoral, something we should change or hide away. If they didn't, if they did see us as deserving of having equality, then they would support that for us.

So yes, everyone SHOULD support me when it comes to my basic fucking rights to exist, be myself, have bodily autonomy, and not face discrimination for being lgbtq. And quite frankly, I don't believe it's "tolerant" to not support that in any way, shape, or form. So even if I was just asking for "tolerance" of my very existence, I would not consider not supporting my basic human fucking rights to be that. I do not find it "tolerant" to not support me being ALLOWED to be myself and exist openly. I do not find it "tolerant" to not support me having control over what I do with my own body. I do not find it "tolerant" to not support me not facing discrimination and not being treated worse for my orientation and gender. I find it fucking hateful, I find it to be treating and seeing me as a lesser person than them, to not be willing to say I should have those basic rights.

Maybe you want tolerance. But I sure as hell don't. I don't want to spend my entire life being looked down on for things I have 0 control over and are not hurting anyone. I want to be treated as an equal fucking human being. And not supporting my rights on account of my orientation, or on account of my gender, is treating me as lesser. And saying wanting that is "one of the biggest reasons why they would rather hate us" is not only wrong and generally bootlicking bullshit, it is showing you do not see us as equal either. Because if you saw us as equal, you would not think it is okay for people to not want us to have equal rights. You would not think asking for and expecting that people should support us having equal rights is the reason for bigotry.

People wanting equality and wanting people to support their equality, and generally disliking people who do not support their equality is not the reason for others hatred. Others thinking a person's rights are conditional, something that could and should be stripped away if they find them undeserving is. Others looking at another human being and thinking they are lesser for something like what gender they like, or what gender they are, is at fault for that. Bigots who think others humanity, others equality, is conditional, is, and always has been, the problem, not people wanting to be treated as equals. There may be a variety of reasons they come to that belief, or claim to come to that belief (because quite frankly, plenty lie to try to pin the blame on the minority themself that they hate because they don't want to take the time to examine the actual reason for their hatred). But at the end of the day, that bigotry, that belief that something like someone's orientation or gender can make them less deserving of the same rights everyone else has, or deserving of discrimination, is the problem.

So tired of that "respect but not support" bullshit, mainly in the context of being lgbtq

No, you cannot respect us and also not support us when what you are being asked to support is

A. Our right to exist publicly

B. Our right to be ourselves and not have that restricted by the law when us being ourselves is not hurting anyone

C. Our right to do what we wish with our own bodies and not be stripped of our bodily autonomy

D. Our right to not be discriminated against and treated worse for our orientation or gender identity

So no, you don't respect us if you don't support us. Because in this case, not supporting that is not supporting our equality. It is showing you do not see us as equal human beings because we are lgbtq. And if you don't even see us as equal or deserving of equality, you sure as hell do not respect us as people.

[halenhusky309]

Okay, I have been dragging Elita-1 from Transformers One too much (I felt catfished about her character okay), so it's time for me to drag on Orion Pax in the second half on the movie for this one scene that bothered me so much: Orion Pax feeling hopeless and defeated after Arachnid and Sentinel's guards captured D-16, Bumblebee and a huge chunk of the High Guards...

The leading up to that scene fakes to me, it's like a plot forcing him into that "hopeless" stage so that he can receive a pep-talk from Elita-1 to get that dumb justification of why he was called Optimus Prime (Since he had such "blind oPTiMIsM", it made "so much sense" he is Optimism with a "‐mus". Get it? What a nice word play). The thing is, the movie did a shit job to frame his actions and attitudes as "blind optimism" because all I see is a reckless punk who is bored of his dangerous job. I see the intention the movie was trying to convey, but the execution just made me feel conflicted about his actions, as sometimes I wonder if he did those things because he wanted to play a hero or he genuinely cared about others. Same thing about that scene when he lamented about his faults for dragging his friends into this mess, resulting in them getting captured, which read more like he was feeling despaired and reaching rockbottom, rather feeling guilty about his thoughtless and reckless choices and actions. Seeing him just folded so fast and needing someone to rouse him up kinda counter the whole blind optimism in Orion Pax so bad. Plus, the situation that he was in was nowhere severe to bring down a bot who was supposed to be very optimistic. He still had Elita-1 and the leftover High Guards to salvage the situation. I don't think he needed to go through the "oh no, it's all my fault and I don't know what to do next. I feel so hopeless and want to give up" phase. I would rather see him just internalize his guilt and concern about his friends' well-beings, especially D-16 as the time was running out and he needed to act fast, rather a Disney channel scene where the protagonist needed to be cheer up by someone in the not-at-all hopeless situation.

[fushigurokogane]

~ JJK chats ~ (1)

Yuji: Yo, Gojo, why do you always wear those sunglasses? Are you trying to hide your face or your identity? Gojo: Face... identity... It’s all part of the mystery, Yuji. You wouldn’t get it. 😎 Nobara: No, it’s because he’s hiding the fact that he’s been wearing the same pair of sunglasses for 10 years and they definitely smell like Doritos. Yuji: No way, I bet they smell like vanilla body spray. Gojo: I don't need to explain myself to you guys. And for the record, my sunglasses are timeless. Megumi: I just want to know how you manage to look so ridiculous and still somehow get away with it. Gojo: You can’t comprehend this level of cool. Yuji: Wait, Gojo... do you have like, a backup pair? Or do you just keep that same dirty one for life? Gojo: Obviously, I have multiples. I have them in every room of my house, my car, and even in the bathroom. Nobara: Imagine Gojo in the bathroom, just wearing his sunglasses while brushing his teeth. That’s the energy I needed in my life. Yuji: 100% he’s the type to look in the mirror and say, “Yeah, I’m still hot.” 💁‍♂️ Gojo: Well, if the sunglasses fit... Megumi: You’ve all completely lost it. Nobara: Alright, alright. Anyone know where the last box of cookies went? I’m 99% sure Yuji’s the culprit. Yuji: WHAT? I didn’t touch them! Nobara: You’re literally the only one who would eat an entire box of cookies and then pretend nothing happened. Yuji: I... I might have eaten a couple. But it’s not my fault they were just...staring at me, you know? Gojo: Here we go again. The “cookies called to me” excuse. 🙄 Nobara: I think we need a snack intervention for Yuji. “Hi, I’m Yuji, and I have a problem with cookies.” Yuji:Maybe I do have a problem. But they were so good, I couldn’t stop myself. 😫 Megumi: This is why we can’t have nice things. Gojo: Honestly, I’m more concerned about the fact that no one saved any for me. Yuji: Wait, you wanted some too?! Gojo: Of course I wanted some! You think I’m just here for the vibes? Nobara: No, I thought you were here to give life advice no one asked for, and to teach us all how to look like you. Gojo: Nailed it. Yuji: I swear, Gojo’s the only one who eats snacks, throws them in the air, and then just disappears. It’s like a magic trick. Gojo: It’s a talent. You’re welcome. Megumi: You all are unbelievable. I can’t even handle this. Nobara: Wait, does anyone else think Megumi secretly has a candy stash that he hides from everyone? Yuji: Oh he definitely has a secret stash! He’s probably eating chocolate in the corner right now, like some mysterious snack ghost. Gojo: You have chocolate, don’t you, Megumi? Megumi: No, I don’t. Nobara: There’s no way. He’s probably got dark chocolate and then some random, deeply mysterious snack. Maybe like... dried seaweed and sadness. Gojo: WAIT. What if... he only eats vegan snacks? Yuji:Oh, no. That’s worse than tofu. Megumi: I swear to god, if you don’t stop, I’ll actually leave the chat. Nobara: You cant leave. This chat is your destiny. Gojo:Yeah, you’re stuck with us, Megumi. Whether you like it or not. Yuji: But if you have a secret stash, Megumi, just know I won’t judge. I’ll even trade you a pack of gummies. Megumi: I’m just going to pretend I didn’t see any of this. Gojo: Look, we’re a family. And in this family, we share everything. Except snacks.

OMGGG these are SOOO fun to makeee!! I would loveee to do more of these. If you guys have any suggestions of what type of convo i could do next i would be SO HAPPPYY!! I hope you enjoyed reading~ BAI BAI MY LOVESSS~!!

love, ✭ Nika ✭

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hellooo!

Could you write about a farmer who feels unworthy of their partner's love with the sve adventurers, mages and Mr. Qi?

Thank you in advance. I hope u have a great day!🥰

Sure thing! Sorry for late reply, been a little busy with holidays and work. Thank you for your ask, dear anon! 💖 Happy holidays, and have a great day too!

_________________________________________

Isaac

"Who put that idea in your head?" Isaac's face was calm, but his look and voice would have made anyone's blood run cold in their veins. He was angry, for at first he thought that someone else's influence had made his partner think that way. When Farmer told the adventurer that they're beginning to feel unworthy, Isaac was taken aback. Why? "You're a famous adventurer..." So? "A role model for many in Castle Village." So? "I'm just a farmer..." Not just a farmer. A hero of Stardew Valley. His lover. His soulmate. "You can find someone better-" After that, Isaac is sure to shut Farmer up with a kiss and seriously tell them not to dare consider themself unworthy anymore. He chose them because he loves them. Sincerely. And will kill anyone who says a bad word in Farmer's direction or even looks the wrong way.

Lance:

"That's where you're wrong, my soul." The adventurer sensed that something had begun to trouble Farmer lately, and waited for his partner to tell him what was wrong. He expected different answers, but not this one. Lance sits down with Farmer, as they need to have a long and heartfelt talk, so that there are no misunderstandings or miscommunications. Farmer is worthy, more than they can imagine. And before they can love someone, they must love themself. Lance will gently begin to list all their merits, their bravery and heroism, their hard work and kindness. For a pink-haired man, Farmer is a treasure he wouldn't trade for anything. He will gently help his partner with these thoughts: start celebrating Farmer's big and little wins, learn to love themself. Lance will remind them more than once how lucky he is that they met on top of a volcano.

Jadu:

"Oh dear.... that's actually my line, you know..." What? Farmer looked at the slightly slumped Jadu with shock, not understanding what he meant. The young wizard's face read melancholy and sadness. Can't Farmer see what a wonderful, brave and kind person they are? Didn't they realise that it was Jadu's good fortune that Farmer, who was the secret object of the Castle Village wizard's affection, had paid attention to him and asked him out? Yes, he sometimes felt unworthy, for even as a mage he was unremarkable. But simply feeling unloved doesn't mean you're unlovable, and Farmer was proving that he treasured Jadu and their relationship. The two lovers exchange hugs and a plan to deal with these feelings of unworthiness together.

Camilla:

"Wrong." Camilla said it so quickly and sternly that Farmer was even a little taken aback. It was very rare to catch the head witch of Castle Village in any other mood than her usual playful, joking, and light-hearted attitude. But as soon as the 'I am not worthy of you' came out of her lover's mouth, she immediately grew serious. "I don't want to hear those words ever again." She utters it, wrapping her arms around Farmer and pulling them closer, causing her partner to hide their face in her shoulder. Camilla might guess that Farmer's feelings of unworthiness are probably partly her fault, since in courtship the girl was an impregnable fortress and played with them. But she has genuinely fallen in love with them, the determined and beautiful Farmer, and in all seriousness says that they are worthy. Had always been worthy.

Alesia:

"What? How can you... say that about yourself?" Alesia insists that they need to talk privately right away. Did she do something to make them feel unworthy or hurt them in some way? Or has someone else planted a seed of insecurity in their thoughts? Sniper has no way of knowing why her love feels this way. It's heartbreaking to her that Farmer has such low self-esteem. They're enough. They are worthy. Always have been, are, and always will be. All her friends congratulated her and Farmer, and those who dared to open their mouths and say "Alesia is too good for that weirdo" got her fist in the nose. She loves them, and will help them love themself too.

Bonus Mr. Qi:

"Unworthy? Hmm. Huh. Ha ha ha." Oh Qi laughs heartily and apologises to the slightly offended Farmer for such a reaction to their words. "I'm sorry, but I don't think you know what you're talking about." Before Farmer wanted to protest, they and Mr. Qi found themselves in a place that looked like outer space. Screens of all of Farmer's exploits, all of their victories, all of the times they and Qi had been together flew in front of their faces. The mysterious blue man held an orb that was a miniature planet Earth. He announced to them that they were worthy of so much more than they realised, that Qi was willing to stop and start wars for them, that all the riches he was willing to obtain for them. Ready to lay the whole world at Farmer's feet. That's how much he loves them, his hero, his love. And they still think they're not worthy?

[arisewanekosuki]

Koi no Yokan - Wanderer x Reader

Wanderer was annoyed. The paper in front of him was still blank and it’s all your fault. How dare you  occupy his thoughts so much?

A month ago, Wanderer was taking a stroll, far away from Sumeru city, wanting to be alone for some time. But his peaceful walk didn’t last long when he noticed two Fatui soldiers harassing you. At first he wanted to ignore it but, seeing you won’t be able to take care of them yourself he decided to be merciful and put the two guys into their places. When the two guys were running for their life, Wanderer turned from you preparing to just leave without a word. -”Wait!” you shouted and he stopped. “Thank you for helping me! May I know your name?” you asked. -”You can call me whatever you want.” And with that he started to walk. You pouted and then ran towards him, stopping in front of him. You gasped when you finally took a good look at him. -”You're beautiful.” You said, amazed by his looks. -”I heard that many times, now move.” Then you smirked. -”You said I can call you whatever I want right? Then how about….” “Husband?”

And after that encounter you would often find and bother him. When he would sit at a restaurant drinking tea you would come and join without asking. (You did ask at first but with him always responding ‘no’ you decided to ignore that.) Talking about your adventures, asking him how his day was, bringing things you found and giving them to him. At first he wouldn’t accept them but you started to leave while the things were still on table and didn’t give him a choice but to take it. No matter what he said or did, you persisted to try to find and talk with him whenever you had time. And when he asked what is the reason for you wasting your time on doing that, you with a smile responded. -”Hmm… It’s because you’re my first love!” The only thing he could say after hearing that was “Haah?” …But your smile didn’t waver. The other day he would say that he will never feel the same and yet you didn’t mind. -”I see, but I don’t mind! I just want to make you feel happy! Whether as a lover or friend!” you really started to irritate him but at the same time he was feeling weird inside. 

And then two days ago. -”...So I got this job to escort this couple in the desert! I hope you won’t miss me in those two days~” -”Hmph I would never.” he said and took a sip of his tea. -”Aww don’t be like that! I know you will be bored without me~” -”You wish.” You giggled at that. -”Aren’t you a cute one? Ahh but I was hoping I could see your smile before leaving.” -”And why is that?” -”Well… as an adventurer I can never know when my end will come.” you said it so casually but Wanderer’s brows furrowed. -”Then if you want to see my smile you better come back.” he murmured but you still heard it. You looked at him shocked and then a big, bright smile appeared on your face. -”I’m always trying my best to come back! I want to spend more time with you after all!” And after that, you said goodbye to him, leaving another small present to him on the table.

And now Wanderer was still looking at his blank paper. Finally, he decided to give up on writing today and went out and looked through Sumeru City in hopes he will see your ‘stupid’ smile again. But no luck. Then the next day was the same, he was sitting at his table in a cafe like always and you were nowhere in sight. At first he thought that he could finally relax, but the more he just sat there himself the more he was missing your babbling. Another day and still he didn’t see nor hear you. You said that your commission is in the desert so he flew over to Caravan Ribat. After reaching the place he asked Emerimtes stationed if they saw you. And they didn’t see anyone with your description coming from the desert for the last few days. Wanderer stood there at the entrance to the desert. Should he go and search for you? But why should he go to such lengths for you?

...What if you already perished there? He shook his head, starting to feel anxious by this thought.  He can’t really understand why you make him feel all of those feelings. He decided to go search for you, but before he could leave Caravan Ribat he saw a Stumper beast appearing and with it there were some people on the carriage, one of them was you. Your head was bandaged, your right arm broken. When you noticed him, you smiled brightly and started to wave with your healthy hand. When the carriage got close he could spot some bruises on your skin. He clicked his tongue. -”Hi! Did you miss me?” you said. But Wanderer ignored this question. -”Did they pay you already?” -”Hm? Yes, why?” he didn’t reply, he just got closer to you and held you bridal style and flew away. “Ah?! W-w-what?!” -”Shut up.” seeing that he is flying towards Sumeru City you came to the conclusion that he may want you to be seen by a doctor. This thought made you smile. You two didn’t say a word for some time. It was so peaceful and calm, even Wanderer wasn’t going at a fast speed. You put your head closer to his chest, closing your eyes. -”You know…” you started. “It was really tough out there… Not only humans but monsters were attacking almost all the time. There was a moment I thought this would be the end.” The boy holding you didn’t spare you a look, only his brow furrowed. -”But then I thought ‘Ah what a shame, I never saw his smile’ and somehow I found strength to continue to fight.” The hold on you tightened. -”I really love you.” you laughed, your cheeks warm “Even if you don’t feel the same, even if you still won’t want to tell me your real name. I still love you and I only wish for your happiness.” -”..shi…”  you opened your eyes, looking up at him. -”Kunikuzushi. That’s my name.” you repeated his name, Wanderer’s ‘heart’ moved at how gently you said it. You placed your head on his chest again. -”Thank you for telling me. It makes me happy.” Those ‘disgusting’ feelings creep inside him. His cheeks were adored with blush. He is not sure what those feelings will bloom into in future, but for now, he knows that you became someone important to him.   And he won’t let anything bad happen to you ever again.

-------- Thanks for reading! (^<^)/)

[espace--positif]

A Dragon Age Newbie's First Impressions of Inquisition Companions [Part 1/?]

SO. I've acquired ye olde Dragon Age brainrot after completing Veilguard and starting Inquisition. I have a lot of Thoughts and Ideas TM about both games, so while I decide whether I should make a separate blog for DA, enjoy this messy post on my first impressions of all the Inquisition companions. I also wanna be able to look back at this and see whether my judgments were right or wrong lmao. Yes this is what I'm doing instead of writing fics.

Spoilers for... I don't know where I'm at in Inquisition man. I just got to Skyhold and did a few missions. And MAJOR DAV spoilers, probably. Under the cut.

Cassandra

CASSANDRA PENTAGHAST THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE.

she honestly grew on me a lot. I knew I wanted to like her from like, the opening scene. she just exudes intensity, and you can immediately tell that she cares. she, however did not like my Lavellan one bit, and disapproved of every single choice I made for a while 😭

early game Cassandra whenever Lavellan breathed:

but she honestly feels like the realest, and maybe most good-hearted character in all of DAI. conflicted, caring, under far too much pressure, and with a cold exterior that isn't just there for the sake of being unapproachable. she second-guesses all of her choices, which I believe is HEALTHY for someone who has that much power.

as I progress through the game and get to know her more, I just end up liking her even more. she also knows how to disagree with you, on small and large things, while keeping an open mind and trying to understand your reasoning - that also encourages me to hear her out. I truly enjoy that about her! her VA is also STELLAR, I just love to hear her talk!!

overall, 10/10 no notes.

Solas

oh you motherfucker.

so DAV Varric (or whoever it was who said this) lied when he said this rat egg man doesn't lie to your face and only lies by omission.

"I know about the fade because of my studies in ancient ruins" "I know about spirits because I befriended them in my dreams"

what if I punched you in the throat? ok but in all honesty. I'm trying to do the Solavellan ting and, well, he's got game. I'll give him that. I was positively shook at the first fade dream thing. they teach you how to rizz up dalish women in those ancient elven ruins? 🤨

speaking of dalish. why is he so mad that Lavellan is dalish LMAO. my ass chose the "proudly dalish" option and he DISAPPROVED. it's not Lavellan's fault that that one dalish clan threw rocks at you when you told them you were fen'harel! damn...

overall? I need to see how badly he betrays her to make a better judgment. will it be worse than the DAV betrayal? probably. will I eat it up? absolutely.

Varric

VARRIC MY GOAT!! THE REALEST MF IN ALL OF THEDAS!!!

I love Varric so much. it obviously helped to play DAV before, so I kinda knew him... for like, 20 minutes, I guess...

anyway, I'm really looking forward to getting to know him some more. as always, he's the only mf who cares how your character is feeling, who bothers to check in on you because everyone just tells you to roll with all the Crazy Shit TM that's happening. everyone keeps asking WHO is the herald of andraste, WHERE is the herald of andraste. no one ever asks HOW is the herald of andraste. except Varric.

he's caring, hilarious, compassionate, but also extremely REAL. cause yeah, Varric, you SHOULD'VE run the other way the moment Cassandra set you free. this breach shit is crazy! but you're literally too good of a man to do that 😭

I also cannot stop laughing at his reaction to Cory being alive. "shit, we stabbed him a bunch, I can't believe he's alive"

Varric continue to be your best real self, I am your biggest cheerleader as you are mine ❤️

Blackwall

ok so Blackwall is great. just a chill dude. super chill actually! however. he's kind of not very helpful at all, is he? "why did the wardens disappear?" "idk. can i join your inquisition?"

you're in luck, we actually take anyone because we're desperate!

but what can he actually do. him being a warden doesn't seem to help very much, because he literally never displays any warden expertise. when Stroud (?) mentions how all the wardens hear the calling now because of mr. Cory, he goes "oh shit yeah me too". and you just forgot to mention it? world's chillest warden, I guess.

I like him! but I just don't know why he's there especially when Iron Bull absolutely clears him when it comes to warrior combat.

anyway thank you Blackwall, very cool!

---

This post has been long enough, so I will make a Part 2 at some point thanks bye!!

[rustedleopard]

I do think that Ceroba and Chujin wouldn't stay together if he hadn't had died, but I wonder what would actually lead to a divorce between them. Beyond the fact that they love each other, Ceroba idolizes him and Chujin keeps secrets that encourage that thinking.

Does it start with her finding out about those secrets? She didn't seem all too bothered by them in UTY, though that could very well be influenced by the fact he's dead and she doesn't want to disrespect his legacy.

What are your thoughts on it?

Building resentment over a period of months/years.

Ceroba admires Chujin way too much to find fault with him keeping secrets. In fact, in the Steamworks, she admits that she knew that Chujin kept secrets and was fine with it anyways. So if she found out about the secret lab under the kotatsu early and how Chujin dedicated himself to making a serum that would make monsters strong enough to oppose humans, all she'd think is "How noble and brave and selfless of my husband to do all of this for monsterkind. He's so wonderful. ♡" Hell, she'd probably help and encourage him with crafting the serum as much as she could.

The most I can see her doing to deter him would be telling him to take a break if the serum is making him a bit sick. More in a, "I know you're on the right track and you'll get it right and save everyone, but you need to take care of yourself if you're gonna be able to do this" sort of way, not a "You can't do this, it's impossible, you're going about this all wrong. Please stop risking your health for our sake, what about our family?" sort of way. So instead of an outright sprint into an untimely demise, Chujin would've done more of a "start-and-stop" marathon into his untimely demise. Whoops! Her admiration would still blind her to the fact that this isn't something he can accomplish and she'd blame herself (even more than she already does) for Chujin's death when it happens because she should've known better, she should've done something to help him more or better or something, oh god she murdered her own husband (despite how experimenting on himself was also his choice).

So if finding out Chujin's secrets wouldn't deter her, where does the resentment come from? Well, towards the end of the relationship, Ceroba was both the breadwinner for the house and the housewife while Chujin was just doing volunteer work all over the Underground. She's basically a working single mother here. She had to take up a job that she hates because Chujin claims to have retired from the Steamworks but the family still needs food on the table AND she has to handle all the domestic duties as well because Chujin is out all day doing work for free all over the Underground (btw this likely means that Ceroba had to cover the expenses for the materials for Chujin's projects as well since the money for those things has to come from somewhere and it's not from the person Chujin's making things for). That is taxing, grueling, exhausting work. Sure, you might be able to do it for a day, a week, a couple months, but it's miserable. It wears down on you over time.

And this is where Ceroba's blinding admiration for Chujin plays against her: Chujin is doing heroic things in the Underground so she feels can't take him away from that or talk to him about their family and if the current system they have going on is working for both of them. She feels like she can't tell him because he's basically perfect to her, she can't criticize him. Admiration doesn't stop her from feeling stressed and worn out at the end of the day though, and over time those feelings would start to direct themselves at Chujin. Things weren't like this when he was working at the Steamworks. I wasn't this exhausted. I had to cancel my gym membership to cut back on expenses and I didn't even get to use much of it the months before I dropped it because I had to work and take care of Kanako. Etcetera. There's only so many times Ceroba can tell herself "Chujin is a hero, he's doing good things for the Underground, I shouldn't complain" before that excuse sounds paltry. And the moment that her exhaustion/stress/resentment is at its peak and there's one little shake-up in their relationship? Ka-boom!!!! To everybody on the outside, it seems so sudden (even to Chujin) but if you were paying attention, it was so obvious that it would have happened eventually.

The worst part is that Chujin would've stepped up and helped Ceroba if she asked. He loves her. He cares about her. If she said "I need you to get a job to cover living expenses or stay at home and take care of Kanako because I can't be doing everything here," he would've done so in a heartbeat. He shouldn't have taken advantage of her kindness over and over and over and should've been more attentive to her but he would've helped if he'd known (c'mon man, that's your wife. She shouldn't have to ask for these things because you should be paying attention to her moods and know not to overburden her. Jerk). But he doesn't pay attention to how the things that he does affect the people around him. That's why he killed himself experimenting on his SOUL in the first place.

Cerojin's dynamic was very unhealthy. Had Chujin lived, they would've gotten divorced eventually, I know it in my heart and I will say that until I'm blue in the face. Neither side was truly looking at/paying attention to each other. Neither side was willing to have the difficult conversations that you have to have in order to make a relationship work. Both sides were being awful to each other. Both sides would've been responsible for the divorce happening in their own ways.