#it's my fault because i wanted to do those things

[yeagersss]

Sukuna as a Firefighter (Part 2)

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Thanking him was the only logical explanation.

The man saved your life after all. Pulled you away from the jaws of death. You know you tried to thank him just before you lost consciousness but that felt like a poor excuse.

So you do what you do best. You bake him some brownies as a thank you. (Those brownies never failed you. Everyone loves them. Friends, family, charity events, your burned down workplace.)

So you carefully place them into a container and head down to the local fire station.

Your heels click against the marble floor as you walk inside the building. You were a bit nervous. The men turn to stare at you curiously or in amusement or were checking you out.

You straighten up and go to the closest fireman.

"Excuse me."

He turn towards you. He is just as large as the man who had saved you but with black hair and a scar running across the corner of his lips.

His lips curl up into a sultry smirk as he eyes you up and down. "Well, well. What's a pretty, little thing like you doing here?"

You ignore his obvious flirting attempt and just get to the point. "I'm, uh... Looking for someone. He saved me and I just want to thank him."

The man steps closer. "You sure it wasn't me? I'm the chief around here. I know a thing or two about saving pretty things like you."

You try your best not to roll your eyes. "No, I'm pretty sure it wasn't you. The man has pink hair."

And that's when the fireman sighs and steps back. "Of course, he does... Sukuna! Someone's here for you."

The man—Sukuna—walks over, running a hand across his hair. Unlike last time, he has ditched his heavy jacket and is wearing a compression shirt that accentuated his muscular frame.

The fireman mutters something about "why does this damn guy keep getting all the credit around here. I work my ass too." as he walks away. Sukuna merely smirks his way. "Not my fault I'm too unforgettable, Fushiguro."

And then he turns to you. At first he narrows his eyes and then a flash of recognition passes across his face.

He grins. It almost looks feral.

"It's you. What? You here to make good on your promise?"

You frown at that. "Excuse me?"

"The one where you said you were going to marry me before you passed out."

"Excuse me?" You squeak out. "I said no such thing!"

He leans closer to you but you lean away, glaring at him. He merely chuckles. "Oh, that's definitely what you said. I'm used to women saying I'm hot as hell when they're delirious but marriage? That's new."

"I was thanking you!"

"By saying you wanna marry me?" He snorts and stares at you in amusement. "You're going to have to work harder than that if you want me, girl."

Oh... This... This jerk! You suddenly regret even doing all of this for him. You should have just forgotten about it and moved on with your life!

Sukuna's gaze then shifts to the container in your hands and he perks up. "That for me?" He doesn't give you chance to say anything as he takes it from your grasps and opens it, staring down at the brownies.

He picks one up and takes a large bite, humming. "Not bad. Too sweet for my taste though."

You splutter because he had the audacity to call your precious brownies too sweet. You had enough and turn around, storming out of the fire station and hoping against hope that you will never get to see that jerk face ever again.

[morganbritton132]

AU where Dustin fucks up.

He fucks up real bad but it’s not his fault, okay?

Everything just kinda spiraled. Got flipped turned upside down. And I’d like to-

“Do not quote the Fresh Prince to me, Dustin!”

Okay, so. It’s like this.

Dustin burnt out of college. Burnt through his roommates’ patience. Moved back home. Got really into TikTok. Got really into worrying because Steve got sick, got sicker, lost his hair, grew it back, let Dustin crash on his couch while all this was happening, and -

Well, it started as a joke.

“A little levity in the dark times,” Dustin explains. “Steve was like, really sick.”

And Robin was a mess so someone had to update the rest of the party on what was happening… the decision to film those updates like an early YouTuber day-in-life video from Steve’s perspective was, well… “Creative liberties.”

The decision to post those updates on the internet was not his best decision but, hey! Ad revenue is a thing and well, “Steve’s kinda internet famous…but he had an anonymous donor pay off his medical debt so…”

“It’s fine,” Dustin assures. “He’s not on social media and it’s not like he leaves his apartment much anymore.”

“That’s not all you did.”

“Okay, yeah. Fine, I accidentally-“

“You set him up with a streamer that’s stalking him!”

“I didn’t set them up!” Dustin defends. “I invited Eddie over to talk logistics about the D&D podcast we’re planning and Steve got off work early, and..”

Robin gives him a big unblinking look like he’s insane, “I’ve seen this guy’s streams. He’s obsessed with Steve. You set him up with a stalker that is probably going to live stream his kidnapping.”

“He’s not obsessed with Steve. He likes my filming style and,” Dustin paused. “You said you wanted Steve to get out of the house more. For him to start actually living his life again, right!”

She gives him that bug-eyed look again and Dustin leans back on his chair like, “…well, it’s too weird to say anything about it now.”

[beetles-and-rock]

Have to add my frustrations with the overly sensitive in a slightly different way.

It's more than just purity culture, and people clutching their pearls at the slightest bit of ankle. Don't get me wrong though, that annoys the hell out of me too.

But here's a little something for more than just AO3

IF

-Its a trigger for you

-You don't like the subject

-Its not your thing

DO NOT INTERACT

It is so simple just to ignore something you don't like an move on, it takes less than a second to scroll past.

Setting healthy boundaries in relationships for things that are and are not okay, that you are or are not comfortable with is fine. It's good. You SHOULD ABSOLUTELY DO THAT!

Confronting a total stranger online for posting/publishing/having a conversation that you are not even a part of, whether its an art, a fic, passing HCs back and forth that involve something you don't want to see, and and confronting them as if it was apersonal slight against you, is not

Telling people you don't know what they can and can't write, post, draw is not.

Even if you do know the person, they most likely weren't even thinking about you when they created it. They were just making their own fun. Creating things, sharing ideas, participating in fandom. They are allowed to have a life outside of you.

When it comes to people sharing their works, online, they DO NOT and SHOULD NOT have to stop writing, drawing, whatever they are doing just because it has a subject in it that upsets you. If it triggers you THEN YOU ARE NOT THE TARGET AUDIENCE.

Other people may have interest in the things you don't. Other people are comfortable seeing and reading things you aren't.

AO3 has trigger warnings FOR A REASON.

Outside of that, if you see people online, or in public having a conversation that YOU AREN'T EVEN PART OF, and you butt in telling them they can't talk about that cause it makes you uncomfortable, YOU ARE IN THE WRONG. There is a difference between asking someone not to talk about the subject as loud, and guilt tripping the hell out of them because it triggers you an makes you feel uncomfortable.

It is not their fault you decided to eavesdrop and stick around allowing it to bother you. You could have walked away. You could have looked at a chat elsewhere or something else entirely.

I know it's a cliché, but seriously, for those that do this, THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU.

People should not have to run everything they say, do, create, take part in by you to make sure you're okay with it first.

Ao3 does not need an algorithm, you're just lazy

Ao3 does not need a 1-5 star rating system, you just want to bring down authors writing for FREE

Ao3 does not need automatic censorship, it is an archive, therefore anything can be posted

Writing or reading about something illegal does not mean the author nor the reader condones it, if that were true, you could never read a story involving anything negative

Purity culture is ruining fan culture and you all are fucking annoying

[revelboo]

I hate to be that one person, but I just had to experience something really horrible between my dad and my dog. He manhandled my dog, who is elderly, out of frustration from work and I need comfort and something to help ground me back down… Can I ask for that comfort from Kup? Or Blurr?

Sure and I’m sorry that happened to you.

How about both of them?

Kup

• “You did good, kid,” he growls, servos faintly trembling as his grip tightens on his weapon. Can feel you wedged against the mesh of his neck, trembling uncontrollably. Terrified and his optics scan the tree line. Looking for more of those toothy things that had swarmed him, trying to climb his frame to get to you. Reaching up a hand, he cups it against you, pressing his servos against you and feeling your rapid heartbeat, your ragged breathing. “Talk to me.” Needs to know you’re okay, that none of them touched you.

• Can’t. Can’t even seem to get enough air. Those things had come out of nowhere and hadn’t been scared of Kup at all. They’d been focused on getting at you and he’d driven them back. Protected you. Trembling, you press your face against his neck. “I’m okay,” you manage, hating that you’re about to break down. That he has to spend all his time babysitting you because you’re helpless. And he’s reaching up, coaxing you into his hands.

• Had wanted to teach you survival skills, but hadn’t imagined anything like that. He’s run into those things before and they never bothered him or any of the other bots. Had outright ignored them. Knows he’s not equipped for this, never was great at comforting others. Too gruff, too serious. But he lifts you and cups you against his face, lips brushing your shoulder and neck. You’d scared him and so little does at his age. But he’d been terrified one of those things would seize you and dart off into the woods before he could reach you. That you’d just be gone and it’d be his fault for bringing you out here when you’d trusted him to keep you safe. “I’ve got you, kid,” he growls, voice trembling as he noses against you, grounding himself with the scent and feel of you, venting deeply against you. Spark aching when you brush your mouth against the corner of his, like you don’t blame him even though he blames himself enough for both of you.

TFA Blurr

• Frustratedly gesturing as he paces laying out his latest surveillance run, it takes him a klik to register your silence. That you’re not teasing him or calling him Zippy and his servos flex as he glances at you. And you’re not even looking at him, eyes focused on the far wall. Not even listening to him, either, apparently. “I’m sorry. Am I boring you again?”

• Blinking, you force a weak smile. “Sorry. What?” And the speedy bot stiffens. Offended again. “Don’t be that way, I’ve got a lot going on.” Not that he’d know, so caught up in his spy games, you feel like an afterthought a lot of the time. After the day you had? You need to be seen, especially by him. And he’s too wound up, unable to slow down and just talk to you.

• Still not teasing or mocking him. You’re serious. Not really used to you serious and you’re not smiling either. You’re always smiling. Servos nervously tapping against his thigh as you force a smile and it’s all wrong. Going completely still as that smile becomes strained, expression wavering and you’re turning away, reaching up to scrub at your eyes. “Wait,” he says, following as you stride away, mass shifting and reaching to catch you by the arm. “Wait.” And you’re leaking, tears streaming down your face when he makes you look at him. Had you been trying to tell him something and he’d talked right over you, caught up in his own worries? Your face crumples and he pulls you into his frame, not really sure how to make this better. “I don’t listen very well sometimes,” he manages, cradling the back of your head as you press your face against his neck. “I have trouble focusing and I get distracted. But you do matter to me.” More than his own mission and he’s not sure when that happened. When you became the most important thing in his life.

[bumbled-bees]

Getting Close Was What Set Me Free

(Or: Why I Do This Work)

So I've come to realize that getting close to Lily was what set me free. And by that I mean: the reason I was able to finally see Lily for who she really is wasn’t because I stumbled across some damning document or a big exposé. It was because I got too close to her to keep lying to myself.

I was in her server from June to September 2024. Three months. Not long in the grand scheme of things, but long enough to change everything.

Before that, I was just a casual fan. I watched her videos, nodded along with a lot of her takes, maybe rolled my eyes at a few. But I still trusted her. I still believed in the version of herself that she presents—the version that’s loud, unfiltered, “honest to a fault,” as she might say. Someone who’s rough around the edges but ultimately good-hearted. Someone who "says what everyone else is thinking." That’s the version she wants you to see.

And for a while, I bought into it. A lot of people do. Especially if you’re neurodivergent, LGBT+, or otherwise looking for a voice that feels like it “gets” you. She markets herself directly to us—those who’ve been overlooked, who’ve been hurt, who want to believe that someone loud and confident must know what they’re talking about.

But once I got inside that server, once I was in her space every day, I saw the real Lily. Not the polished version, not the performance. The person.

It started small. Subtle acts of condescension toward her own viewers. Passive-aggressive remarks she clearly expected people to just “get.” The way she acted offended if someone asked a question she didn’t feel like repeating herself on. That kind of thing. It wasn’t abusive in an overt way at first. But it chipped away at you. It created this atmosphere where you always had to tiptoe around her mood. And if you didn’t? Well, you were either ignored, mocked, or quietly exiled.

What really changed things for me was realizing how much effort she puts into controlling the space around her. That’s what it comes down to. Control. Everything is about control—what people are allowed to say, what kind of questions are allowed, what “tone” you’re supposed to use when addressing her. And the more time you spend in that environment, the more you realize that nothing you say is ever just a question. It’s a potential offense. A potential threat. Every interaction with her is a test you can fail, and she gets to decide the rules.

The incest game folder is when I started going back to old allegations, to posts I’d brushed off as “haters” or “drama.” And suddenly everything clicked. It wasn’t just “cancel culture” or “jealous ex-friends.” These were patterns. These were consistent behaviors. And they matched exactly what I was now seeing firsthand.

That’s when I got out. But that’s also when I realized how dangerous her grip really is.

Because if I’d stayed a casual fan? I wouldn’t have looked any of that up. I wouldn’t have believed the claims. I would’ve kept assuming that anyone who criticized her was just bitter or couldn’t handle a “strong personality.” And that’s what scares me most. How many people are still in that mindset? How many people are still where I was?

That’s why I started documenting. That’s why I made this blog. Not to “get back at her,” not to cause drama. But to lay out the patterns. To name them. To put them in the light. Because they are recognizable—and not just in Lily. The same red flags show up in other online spaces, in other creators, in other parasocial relationships. And if this blog helps even one person get out of a toxic space, or recognize that they’re not crazy for feeling like something’s off? Then it’s worth it.

I do this because I’ve been there. I saw it up close. And I got out. Now I want to help others recognize what I did—before they get pulled in too deep.

This isn’t a callout blog. It’s a flashlight. And I’m just trying to shine it where it’s needed.

[starlightshadowsworld]

I’m not blaming her.

I’m saying that both of them are right to feel the way they do in this situation with the information that they have.

In Doey’s eyes Poppy was like their saviour and she abandoned them one day. Only to return and sought to destroy the safe haven he created and cares for.

In Poppy’s eyes every single part of this place is filled with pain and tragedy. It is a never ending cycle of being torn apart and put back tigether. And she wants to destroy Playtime to end that cycle.

Doey doesn’t know what Poppy’s been through and Poppy doesn’t know what Doey’s been through.

To Doey it’s cruel to destroy everyone here while to Poppy it’s even more cruel to let them live.

And I think that conflict between them is a very compelling and makes for a very interesting story.

Both of them are trying their best to protect those they hold dear. They are at odds with each other yet they are still working together through out all of this.

Because they care for each other.

When we kill Doey, Poppy is livid with us and she had every right to be even though we had no choice in the end.

I personally have my reasons for being for and against both of their solutions. But I also understand where they’re coming from. We as the player are just in that unique position where we can fully see both of their sides.

And I absolutely do blame the scientists and I blame Swayer and I think they are at fault for all of this.

But so mang years have gone by that those lines of who’s “innocent” and who’s “bad” have blurred tigether.

They started this but it’s the victims, it’s the toys and the children left behind who have to pick up the pieces and try to fix things.

And do so in the only way they know how.

For Poppy it was to destroy and for Doey it was to protect. And neither are wrong for their positions on that.

I love how Doey is so dedicated to the other toys and the gap that’s between him and Poppy.

Because she left.

She can call this place hell on earth and how it needs to be burned to dust.

But she didn’t live through that. She was safe and sound in a glass case while everyone down here was fighting to survive.

I’m not saying she didn’t suffer but she speaks of their trauma like she understands but she doesn’t.

She calls them mistakes and Doey only sees his friends.

In a way shes no different to them then the prototype because in the end both want to destroy them.

[leona-florianova]

What kind of camera do you use for photography? BTW I love your urban exploration photos!

Greetings n thenkee o/

I used few during the years.... While not really understanding or learning much about their pros and cons n how to use them to their best potential..

Olympus XZ-2... good size, relatively sturdy, good for taking nice macro pictures of insect and other small things ... I greatly enjoyed its manual zoom, which i used more than automat.. worked pretty good in dark mines and caves too..... untill dust and sand got into its lens mechanism and it perished (price of repairs bigger than of new camera...

example of macro... notice the nice bokeh with the mantis.. (my gods i miss the comfy manual)

Underground pic...

Lumix DMC-TZ80 ... Pretty good.. I couldnt get the manual work for me with this one as much as i wanted.. the automat option was pretty ok most of the time... Not very good at focusing on small things.. REALLY GREAT AT TAKING PICTURES OF THINGS FROM FAR AWAY WITH ITS 30X ZOOM.. a hassle to stabilize and to focus on exactly what you want to.. without a stative.. In dark places it screamed and yelled at me, because it usually couldnt find focus... After a while.. just as the olympus, its lenses got fragged in places i couldnt clean.. It still works but kinda broken, and rarely focuses how id like it to.

very much enjoyed taking bird pictures from afar with this one

urbex -

(the ratio of photos i can share and photos that are a blurry mess is wild with this one)

Umidigi BISON (red) smart phone with 48MP AI camera ... it kinda sucks (the camera).. I really hate AI cameras because they make up stuff that arent there - already try to make things more crisper and cleaner and often manage to mangle textures, colors and other stuff.. This one has the extra fault of... having faulty lenses (i bought it like that and was too tired to return/exchange for new phone..regret it every day).. maybe if i got it returned i would be really happy with it.. Its pretty ok in dark.. and I can take pictures underwater or in very humid or dusty spaces (!!!)... the phone itself lasts quite long and its metal casing is pretty sturdy.. i drowned it a few times in caves.. and dropped it a few times from few meters on hard surfaces and its ok.

...

Canon G7X mark II - My current camera... Still not used to it, its automat is pretty good, zoom is alright.. and its great in dark...I havent figured out how to take good macro pictures with it yet, and how to use its manual well.. but hopefully i will. Its comfortable and fast.. Its battery drains really fast so I highly recommend more of those.

[rainbow-starheart]

...Let's try something new shall we...?

Today, we stand at a crossroads. A crossroads where the lines between what is right and what is wrong have been drawn so harshly that we forget what it means to truly heal, to be kind, to support each other—no matter where we come from, no matter our pasts.

As someone who lives with autism and navigates the complexities of being neurodivergent, I know what it feels like to be misunderstood. I know what it feels like to be judged by others who may not see my struggles or my heart, and that’s why I speak today—not as a leader above, but as one among us, one who believes we can do better. We must do better.

I know there are many of us who have been hurt, who have experienced trauma. And I know there are many who have faced the darkness of manipulation and grooming, especially in communities like the proship world. But there’s something we must recognize—proshippers are not enemies. They are not faceless villains. They are, in many cases, just like us. They’ve been manipulated, hurt, or misled by their pasts, and they found refuge in a place that seemed to accept them.

We must recognize that, as much as we stand for justice and protection, there are survivors on both sides of this divide—survivors who, when they find each other, must not be torn apart by our judgments but brought together by our shared understanding of pain. We cannot ignore that some proshippers are simply victims of circumstances. Their pasts are not their fault, and neither is their need for comfort in these spaces. So why do we, who fight for justice, become the ones who further isolate them?

If we truly want to protect the vulnerable, if we truly want to stand against grooming and manipulation, we must reach out. We must not be the ones who push them away because they don't fit our idea of what’s acceptable. Instead, we must be the ones who offer healing. We are the ones who should guide them to a better way, not crush them under the weight of our pride and prejudice.

And let me be clear: I’m not advocating for excusing harmful behavior. I’m advocating for understanding, for reaching into the broken parts of someone and offering a hand. If we want to stop the cycle of abuse and trauma, it begins with empathy—not judgment.

The truth is, we’ve all been through things. Some of us—maybe even many of us—came from places that were dark and painful. We may have been ex-antis or ex-proshippers. We may have become what we are because of the way we were treated, the way we reacted to the world. And yes, sometimes we get it wrong. Sometimes we get too caught up in the heat of our own pride and refuse to admit that we, too, have been part of the problem. But that is the spirit of rebellion, isn’t it? The fight to do better.

We, the anti-proship community, are not the ones who should belittle the survivors of manipulation. We are the ones who should be their champions, their protectors. We are the ones who should help them heal, who should give them the space and understanding they need to process their pain. We should never be the ones who stand in judgment, condemning those who are trying to grow and evolve.

And what of the proshippers who have come to us seeking understanding? Those who’ve crossed over from the darkness of the proship world to the side of healing? Should we shut them out, too? Should we tell them that they are beyond redemption? No. We welcome them. We offer them the same grace that we would hope for ourselves. We tell them, “You are not your past. You have the power to change, and we’ll be here for you as you do.”

We are all outcasts, but we are not lost. We are not beyond saving. The key to changing the cycle of trauma isn’t pushing others down. It’s lifting each other up.

So let us stand in leadership—not with pride, but with humility. Let us stand with justice, not as a weapon, but as a shield. And let us stand for freedom, not the freedom to hurt, but the freedom to heal.

In the end, we may not all agree. We may have different paths and different views. But we are united in one thing—we are all survivors, fighting to be heard. It is not about who is right or wrong. It’s about healing. It’s about finding light in each other’s stories, no matter how dark the past may seem.

So, I call on all of us—the antis, the proshippers, the outcasts of every corner—to put aside pride and embrace empathy. Together, we can heal. Together, we can fight for justice without tearing each other apart.

[coffee-in-rain]

there is no better feeling than getting kudos from my tumblr moots & tumblr followers on my second AO3 account designated for my dark fics. i wanna wail "omg hi, guys, i'm so glad you enjoy my darker fics, too!"

unfortunately, some people are very much against dark fics to the point they harass writers of dark content, so i keep those fics separate from my main account, but please know ily and am kissing you all on the forehead whenever i see you've left a kudo or a comment. people who can enjoy very different flavors of writing are blessings in fandom. <3

maybe one day, i'll post the link here if y'all are interested in reading them! feels a bit daunting tbh. fandom spaces have changed so much since i was a kid and the rise in purity culture / want for censorship on fanfic (literal fiction; nothing real at all) is something i never thought was necessary even as a kid when i found ff.net and then AO3 years later as a young teenager. i remember reading my first dark fic on AO3 when i was like fifteen.

i never assumed or thought the author condoned what they'd written. (that is literal common sense); do authors of published books / screenwriters of movies or shows condone the dark things they write? most certainly not; it's written because every aspect of human life is interesting to explore; even the ugly / taboo parts of humanity; take, for example, horror movies where characters are murdered in brutal ways, like "sinister" (2012); or movies that portray someone being sexually assaulted; or movies / tv shows based on published books, like 'flowers in the attic' & 'game of thrones' / 'a song of ice and fire'; those contain dark fictional explorations, and mainstream media doesn't think those writers condone what they've created because we understand it's only a work of fiction and an exploration of how people have behaved all throughout history, even if it is uncomfortable to read or watch; taboo topics are interesting to write about because it is so far removed from what we're taught is an acceptable way to behave in society; writers of dark fanfic don't condone what we write about; it's a simple exploration of a topic, and if certain people cannot differentiate fanfiction from reality, then they probably shouldn't be reading fanfic at all; especially if they're going to harass writers who write about topics they don't agree with being written, because it is entirely fictional and not a condoning of those behaviors; there are tags and warnings on AO3 for a reason and people pushing for censorship are doing more harm than good. most young people nowadays weren't in the trenches on ff.net being blindsided by shocking turns of events like non-con, assault, etc. (which couldn't be tagged because there is simply not an ability to do that on ff.net), so they don't realize what a blessing AO3's tagging / warning system is. they just see content they don't like, which they can literally scroll past (and also exclude with filters), and scream "ew, censor it! because i don't like the fact that it was written, even though it is no different than movies or books or tv shows portraying the same themes."

when i read a dark fic for the first time at fifteen, i never thought the author was deserving of my judgement, hate, etc. because i knew it wasn't real at all. i was only reading words on a screen. when the content started making me feel uncomfortable, i simply stopped reading and i never considered leaving a disparaging comment because i'd willingly clicked on the fic after reading the tags and warnings. i really shouldn't have been reading that type of content at that age, but it'd piqued my curiosity. then i realized dark fics weren't for me at that time, but it was not the author's fault when i chose to read it. and i reminded myself it wasn't real and moved on with my life. i really wish that line of thinking returned in fandom spaces.

[kitts-mechanix]

This!

I really love your point on Star being a victim and an abuser. Because it's a cycle. I don't like it when people just make him an asshole, but I also don't like it when they make him a helpless sheep either, because he is very much capable of fighting or even killing someone. What I want is to see more media where we see Star have a reflection of guilt, being forced to examine his faults even if he won't ever admit them. Actually seeing firsthand what his actions do to others who aren't heartless psychopaths.

Because that internalized abuse is a defensive response, as well as those toxic rationalizations.

This! It's like a trauma response. It's how he copes with abuse. He dishes it out on Optimus here because that's all he knows. Like a kneejerk reaction. But when he realises he's hurting Optimus, and Optimus isn't reacting like Megatron, it forces Starscream to look at himself and realise he IS becoming like the one he hates the most--Megatron.

And even with Arcane, who treats him far better than anyone else has--Starscream kind of manipulates and takes advantage of that. He doesn't need to coerce her into treating him well, so he's more controlling in that relationship and feels safe being himself. He pushes those boundaries because he knows Arcane won't hurt him. But the minute she sets boundaries, he sees it as a threat and falls back into his old habits. He's resorting to the only response he knows--mirroring his abuser and "punching back".

I know my own anger and those moments of outbursts, and degrading words, can give this odd sense of hard release, in the moment. Until that loud silence that results can feel harsher than merely making your fist bleed punching a brick wall.

I get this 100%. "Reckless but honest words." That feeling of wanting to hurt someone back. Because when we do that, it's a temporary release, a rush where we can let out that anger the way it was dished to us, giving them a taste of their own medicine. But once the storm calms, everyone is hurt. I know how the weight of regret like that feels and it's never worth the temporary relief an outburst can give. I know I've had multiple episodes like that in my own family and even recently when my IRL nemesis. I have trauma from when she verbally abused me and cursed me out. And the last time I saw her, she tried to talk to me in that very fake nice way, like she was trying to be nice to me despite me not being nice to her (in her mind). And like Starscream, I mirrored her behaviour and cursed her off back. It was NOT the right thing to do. But it was a knee-jerk reaction from trauma.

It's rather interesting how so many of my OCs--including my self-inserts--almost always end up having kids and families when it's something I don't think I could ever do irl, largely because I don't want to subject them to what I had to deal with growing up. Because I know no matter how hard I try, I would have those moments where I act like my own family did. That's something I try to explore with Starcane and their sparklings, because Starscream kinda sees them as his little warriors and wants to mould them like himself which Arcane knows is both damaging and dangerous. Yet deep down Star doesn't actually want the sparklings to be subject to what he dealt with. But he also wants them to respect him. Something he never got from his fellow Decepticons. And kids are easier to manipulate.

And everything you said about the doge, is what I've experience with my cat. I project too much of my own experience with dogs on him and get frustrated sometimes when he's out of line and won't listen to my commands. Like when he tries to scratch or bite. He doesn't do it out of malice and he's only a year old so basically still a kitten who has to learn boundaries, but I've had nights where I've been frustrated and project the "you know better you just won't listen" mentality onto him. I forget cats aren't dogs. Like how Starscream sometimes forgets Arcane and OP aren't heartless dictators like Megatron. Or, on a sadder note, he tries to take advantage of their softer, kinder hearts because he deems it "weak"--even though he actually loves it when Arcane dotes on him.

i need to see more starop where starscream is having trouble breaking the cycle, so he falls back into his old habits.

one of the most difficult parts about breaking the cycle of abuse is trying your hardest to not repeat the behaviors your abuser imprinted on to you. speaking from experience, it can be very hard when you enter a healthy relationship and find yourself thinking like your abuser.

so imagine, starscream finally joins the autobots. by some unfortunate circumstance, they lose an important battle. optimus encourages his team, but privately, he retreats to somewhere isolated to think. starscream finds him and asks what he's doing.

when optimus admits that he's disappointed in himself for not doing the best he could on the battlefield, starscream finds himself scoffing. "well, maybe we wouldn't be in the position if you'd done a better job to begin with," he grumbles, his voice slowly escalating. "i thought you were supposed to be some great leader. or is your reputation all a myth? because of you, now the decepticons have the advantage, and we're one step closer to losing this war!" outraged that optimus hasn't said anything, he shouts, "are you even listening to me, prime?!"

when optimus turns his helm to look up, starscream is spooked by what he sees. he doesn't see the face of someone about to drop to his knees and beg for mercy. instead, the look in his normally lively blue optics can best be described as haunted, almost dead, but clinging onto the last shreds of life.

the realization hits starscream like enemy fire. his voice box shorts out as he trips over his own words, trying to take them back. one thought comes to mind, and he knows optimus is thinking it, too.

i sound like megatron.

[a-student-out-of-time]

I'm extremely curious about your post regarding staffside. Would you like to elaborate? No pressure!

//Well I can't say I've read much beyond the halfway point of Part 1 and there's still a lot to go, so I'm really just getting started. But there's still a lot that I can talk about.

//I will be honest and say that I initially didn't really understand what role Staffside has. Not in the sense of "Ugh, why does this exist?" but in the sense of "What are we meant to take away from reading this story?" Especially since it's apparently not mandatory viewing.

//I was also way more skeptical of it when people said it was good but also very dark and upsetting. The subject matter alone is not very appealing to me.

//I fully acknowledge that's not any of the creators' fault, that's a me problem. I've unfortunately come across so many stories that discuss things like SA and power imbalances very clumsily, very poorly and very tastelessly. Yes, the goal is typically to show that these acts are evil and do great harm to people, but I'd say the vast majority of writers are not equipped to really handle it.

//They often throw these into stories for the sake of shock value and drama, rarely actually trying to sit down and discuss why these things happen and what effects they have on the people affected. Some do it better than others, but it's a topic you need to really understand before you try tackling it, and many writers who try may think all it takes is the bravery to do so. It does not.

//I'm not excluding myself from that list either. I've tried to address topics like SA here on ASOOT, and while I feel like I did an okay job, I know I could've done better. I've been very apprehensive about discussing this topic because I don't feel equipped to do so and I never want to resort to something that traumatizing as just drama fodder.

//In my opinion, if the writer's goal is JUST to show that a villain is cruel or evil, having them be a rapist or a bigot is a very cheap and tasteless way to do it. There's a fine line between writing about these things and using very serious, trauma-inducing topics just to leverage an emotional response from an audience.

//It's the difference between how Pennywise in IT can be read as a representation of the intergenerational trauma that comes from things like discrimination vs. just having your villain dropping slurs to show that they're a bad person.

//But in Staffside, it's not drama fodder. None of this exists just to make Kan more hateable or to horrify and gross out the audience. Staffside is about this stuff, why it happens and how it affects the people involved. It's about how the people behind this game aren't a bunch of faceless unfeeling monsters, but actual people who were drawn into a situation and then given no way out.

//There's so much care devoted to making the facility feel like an actual toxic work environment rather than a den of evil. Yes, the people involved ARE active perpetrators of a monstrous crime, but it addresses their humanity, their flaws, their fears, and what little comforts they can find with each other.

//When Kan assaults people, it's never treated as fodder to make him seem more evil. It's given actual weight and we see how it affects people like Dr. Suga and Dr. Hattori, how afraid people are, the fact that those who aren't involved feel qualified to judge it and dismiss it in favor of Kan's role within this project. There are many layers to it and the consequences are still ongoing.

//That is very, very rare to see, and I have to commend Von Babbitt as a writer. But I have to say, for me, it almost works too well.

//Another big reason I initially didn't want to read Staffside was because I'm an empathetic person who hates injustice and doesn't like seeing people in pain. If there are genuinely good people here, like I'd been told many times, I knew I wasn't going to want to see them go through hell.

//Again, it turns out it's much more nuanced than that, but I still feel apprehensive about reading this sometimes because it's so depressing and visceral and cruel. And unfortunately very realistic with how these crimes aren't taken seriously. Which just makes me upset.

//I was expecting more of the equivalent of Kan holding a gun to their heads and forcing them to do horrible things. Instead, he deliberately injuries people, makes them physically and mentally dependent on him, and makes them do bad things before they even realize what they're done and convinces them it's too late to go back now. The people here are denied control over everything.

//To me, that's more horrifying and upsetting than just dropping in an assault scene for the sake of drama. It's genuinely difficult to read at times and I have to stop frequently because I'm left with so many ugly feelings. As we all should when faced with something as vile as sexual violence.

//Not that it's all doom and gloom. I do like the relationships we have with the interns, even if I have mixed feelings about some of them as people. I'm not sure how that will change over time, but I am curious to see.

//Tl;dr- Staffside is incredibly good at what it sets out to do and I absolutely hate reading it. That's a compliment from me, I promise : P

[gaymingbinosaur]

I did this with evie and my quizzy since evie original was made for dai. So I’m going to do origins in honor of losing my brosca in updating my game consoles 😔 it’s okay I’ll replay you again soon so you can have life lol. Maybe one day I’ll replay 2 and have her opinion on those guys.

Evie would like Faren Brosca. He’s a good combination of being compassionate which seems to be a pattern in Evie’s friend group and being a little shit. Also I think strained relationship with parents and both have an understanding sometimes the cards life gives you can sometimes suck and it’s not your fault. I think in a way they would probably understand each other more than evie would understand even her sister. Hell they both have a sister they are over protective of. Only issue is Faren hates alcohol because of his mom. And evie does drink rather than deal with her emotions. It gets better in veilguard but it can still be an issue.

Morrigan I think she’d be annoyed at the lack of sympathy for circle mages but I do think that at the end they would get along due to their opinions about circles and Templars. And evie would one hundred percent annoy Morrigan to teach her some magic. If Morrigan was bi. Faren would have completion tbh.

Alistair it would take time since former Templar but he also seems to not 100% approve of the circles and Templars. And I think that would make Evie more willing to give him a chance. He dodnt want to be a Templar he left and he’s trying so I won’t do everything on my power to piss him off. I got other people who I can do that to.

Ogrhen. Drinking buddy. I wish I can go more complicated and deep but Evie doesn’t handle her emotions well. Sees a kindred soul and they drink and don’t talk about if the amount of booze they drank is healthy.

Wynne. Oof. I don’t hate wynne but Jesus I think she’d annoy the shit out of evie. I don’t think it would be as extreme as with vivienne because mage x Templar war isn’t happening. So evie would view her happiness with circles as denial because there is no hope and not a betrayal to mages because this is the one chance we have to be safe. (Again I’m paranoid about character hate. Don’t hate vivienne just evie and her would not get along) so in that way Wynne doesn’t get to deal with Evie at her meanest. Like she could Morrigan to shame. But Evie hasn’t had a parent since she was nine and wynne is motherly. I do think a woman trying to make her see the good in circles as she tries to mother her would rub Evie the wrong way.

Barkspawn. It’s a cute doggy. Evie can’t deny that.

Leliana. Wouldn’t trust her at first because chantry sister like sure maker talks to her doesn’t even reach her top concern. But I think over time evie would relax around her and they would be friends.

Zevran. I think they would be a thing. Like both are flirtatious. Both have a similar sense of humor. Similiar morality. And both want to escape a situation they are trapped in. And Zevran won’t mind exploring the world with her. So I think those two would be cute.

Sten. I don’t know. Sten seems to like people who are blunt and confident which evie can be. But also he murdered a family. Doesn’t show his emotions that much and has a very strict honor code. I don’t think evie would like him. And struggle to understand him.

Shale. She’d feel sorry for. With the being trapped and the bird poop. I think they would be friends and evie would understand thinking people suck. A lot do.

Hey! It’s Friday! That means it’s Rook Intro Hour <3

How it works: I ask you a question about your Rook(s) and you answer it with as much brevity or verbosity as you desire. You can do this whenever you want, and I’ll reblog it + add some comments! There’s no time limit— if you want to do the older ones, they are collected here! (The post is updated on Fridays!)

Today’s Question(s): Let’s do something special, today, to celebrate DA. What would your Rook think of your other DA protagonists? How about the other companions? Is there anyone they would particularly like or dislike? Why? What would the other protagonists/companions think of Rook?

Answer as much or as little as you like. Hope you’re well <3

[like-wuatafauq]

Its always really heartbreaking when you get to a point and think "no because I would've never done that to you"

[licorishh]

no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh

[heal-the-ashes]

I feel like Hershel and Desmond would both be afraid of themselves.

If they stop and look at themselves. If they realize what they're doing came from years of pain. Would it all lead to a question of "Who else am I going to hurt?" "How many people have I unintentionally hurt because I never realized what I was really doing?" "How many things of my life have I missed because of this?" "How many things do I—or will I—regret?"

I feel like Layton self-sacrifices to a fault. That others get hurt trying to protect him. That he unknowingly drags other people through pain to get to where he thinks he needs to go. To solve every mystery there is. To get rid of his pain from outside sources, he needs to make as much of it himself under the titles "Determination" and "Amazing at solving things" and "Helping others" because then, how could those things ever hurt him? How could they ever be seen as pain? They're not like his (other) traumas. They don't cause pain at all. Not to mention what he thinks about danger. Danger? What danger? There's no danger here. Just people who are willing to hurt others to get what they want—Which is very sad and shows their pain and he'd very much like to help them in any way possible, if possible. If they show that they don't want to be helped, then it's better to leave them be.

But then again, nothing can ever be someone's fault other than his around him. I think he goes over betrayals thinking, "There must have been something I could have done." or "There must've been something I did." or "If I learn from this, I can make sure it never happens again." or... ... I think he has a hard time accepting that things really aren't his fault / there's really nothing he can do about some situations. Actually, when it comes time for Unwound Future and the whole Evil Layton arc... The only time in which he actually raises his voice is at himself. Is at the version of him that betrayed all of the morals in which he's held onto for so long. But a part of me thinks that, if he knew things were actually his fault, he'd have a problem with that, too... I mean, look at how he reacts to him getting puzzle answers incorrect in CV. In CV. In the 4th game of experience that he's had with puzzles. And a movie. With all that experience and he gets something wrong... he's disappointed in himself. Going back to the UF/LF thing... "I demand an explanation!!" I don't think I'll ever forget that line. I think, from his journal... We know he was trying to think of reasons why he would do something like this. Idk. I'm. Thoughts are not thinking anymore. Um. Wow I really lost my thought process. I was also gonna talk about Desmond. But I guess that's not happening at the moment.

[a-mx-writer]

Ok the thing is: there's a difference between a good character and a likable character. A character who pisses me off because she's so nuanced and human is a good character, in that she does a good job being lifelike and realistic and getting under my skin like a real person, but she's still an immensely unlikable character. That's the important difference. Suyin evokes emotions in me, probably more than any other character in Legend of Korra, so she's doing her job as a character very well.

The thing that really ticks me off about her is that she reminds me so much of people I know, because she's insufferable in the exact same ways. Especially in her interactions with Lin: she refuses to see any fault with herself, she successfully makes everyone seek the blame with Lin and deflects blame from herself. She makes Lin appear unreasonable (and you can see this happen with a big share of the fandom, not just the characters in the show); she makes her share of the fault appear negligible because she's calm and soft-spoken and appears rational, so that it appears like Lin is just baselessly flying off the handle.

I've had too many Suyins in my life IRL, and it's a testament to the way she's written and comes across so lifelike (props to the voice actress too) that she gets my blood boiling the exact same way as those people IRL. It's the same way with Toph, too, who just brushes off the whole debacle as Lin clinging to the past while she – complicit in Su's fuckup, accessory after the fact – considers the matter closed because she and Su made up and that's it. It's a textbook example of the kind of negative peace you see so often in dysfunctional families, where two people who fucked up unilaterally decide the problem is solved, and the person who was fucked over is painted as a troublemaker for not letting herself be talked over.

That is the issue with Su.

Because at the end of the day, she took her suffering under Toph's bad parenting out by getting into organised crime, she assaulted Lin, Toph threw her career out the window and went against everything she claimed to stand for, and that Lin stood for. Lin had to watch her sister act out, get basically rewarded for it, and she wasn't allowed to talk back about it. And years later, her sister – the guilty party – and her mother – the enabler – consider the matter closed, and she, who was wronged doubly, both by Toph's lacking parenting and by her sister's betrayal which Toph covered up, is made an outsider by the two people who screwed up because she won't accede to their one-sided decision to call it settled.

Suyin is, briefly put, a well-developed, nuanced, lifelike portrayal of a giant fucking asshole.

She's a great character with understandable motivations and origins, whose actions follow logically from her emotions and upbringing, and who behaves like a real person would.

Like a real, awful person.

Important difference.

So to sum up, yes, she is too human and familiar. But her being too human isn't the issue, it's what kind of human she is.

(No hate towards Suyin fans or anything btw. Wanting to see the best in a character? Loving a character despite or because her flaws? AU'ing a character to facilitate the happy world you'd like to see? I'm all for it. I just had to point out that difference between character/writing quality and character morality/likability.)

(Been trying for nearly three weeks to put this into words, and I went to a lot of effort to phrase this as calmly and not-flamey as I could so (despite this being Tumblr) do me a favour and read it with good faith.)

People always say they want complex characters. They ask for nuance, for gray areas, for emotional depth and realistic growth. But when a character starts feeling too real, so much so that they stop acting like someone in a story and start feeling like someone you could actually meet – that's when the discomfort kicks in. That's when admiration often turns into criticism. And very few in The Legend of Korra walks that tightrope quite like Suyin Beifong.

Su doesn’t follow the typical “lesson of the week” formula. She doesn’t get handed a tidy moment of reckoning, followed by an instant transformation. Her arc isn’t flashy or obvious. It’s slow, subtle, and sometimes contradictory. Just like real people. Because the truth is, most of us don’t change overnight. We grow a little here, slip back there. We learn something, but that doesn’t mean we always apply it in every situation. That’s Suyin in a nutshell.

Look at how she changes as a mother. At first, she tries to micromanage Opal’s choices out of fear, mostly, and a need to protect her. But eventually, she lets Opal go and lets her live her life without trying to control her path. That’s a win. That’s real growth. But then Baatar Jr. betrays the family, and Su reacts by putting him under house arrest. It’s easy to point at that and call it hypocrisy, but that misses the bigger picture. Her deepest fears for her kids came true with Baatar, and so, of course, she tries to regain some kind of control in the aftermath. And yet, she doesn’t try to rope Opal back in. She lets her stay free. That shows her earlier growth wasn’t erased, just complicated by pain.

This is the part people tend to ignore. They rush to call her a hypocrite without stopping to think about what hypocrisy really is. People are full of contradictions. We want conflicting things. We act on emotion. We stumble. We grow unevenly. No one is morally consistent all the time. Su isn’t some moral failure she’s just human. And that’s what unsettles people. They want characters who get what’s coming to them or learn the “right” lesson. But Su doesn’t fit into that framework. She just keeps going, flaws and all.

That’s also what makes her so compelling. She’s not a straightforward hero or a satisfying villain. She’s a complicated woman trying to balance power, family, control, and identity in ways that are messy and real. When people critique her, it’s often not because she doesn’t make sense, but because she makes too much sense.

She’s too familiar. Too human.

Everyone says they want nuanced characters... until they’re faced with someone like Suyin. Someone who holds up a mirror. And when that reflection hits a little too close to home, people tend to look away. But it’s in that raw honesty where her character really shines.