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lazyscience · 5 months ago

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so there's something I feel like young leftists are not getting at all when they rail furiously about how "we keep voting for Democrats but they keep just pandering to the right, what are we supposed to DO to get them to change OTHER than not vote for them?"

It has to do with fundamental assumptions about what "governing" is supposed to mean in the modern era, and this is a conversation that has to happen culturally in and around what is happening at the ballot box in a lot larger sense than it is. putting in a readmore because this gonna get long and also ranty.

It also means I'm taking another Tumblr break because I can not, I CAN NOT with the current political discussion any more and even with terms blocked I'm seeing it, and I don't want to spend my evenings alternating between rage and depression, I get enough of that from the news.

This conversation was happening even earlier than this, but the timepoint at which it was first coming to a head and when I became familiar with it was 1994 and Newt Gingrich's "Contract with America". Prior to this point, the ethos on both sides of the aisle (in public) was that in general, a congressperson's job (especially in the House, a little less so in the Senate maybe) was while you were under the umbrella of one of the two parties, you were mostly looking out for the particular agenda of your state and only secondarily working towards a national agenda. And secondary to this idea, most of them agreed on basic principles that gridlock was bad (wouldn't produce anything useful/re-electable for your state), civil service employees and appointees weren't supposed to be blatant political operatives (there were, of course, but that was considered more sleazy and corrupt than "elections have consequences, hurr hurr") and that for the stability of the country, things like the debt ceiling were best mutually avoided.

So for the better part of the 20th century, the Democrats were more the party of regulation, the social safety net and the reality and use of powers on a federal level; the Republicans were the party of "leave these decisions to the individual states" (this is obviously a grotesque oversimplification, people have literally written dozens, probably hundreds, of scholarly books about this shit). And Newt Gingrich, ambitious little shit from an at the time deep red Republican state, said "you know what, we need to embrace a national party and federal control the way the Democrats have--because until then, WE can't control it." So the Contract With America was born - and the goal became instead of "well, whatever, as long as I can weasel out concessions for my state/special interests that hired me" the game ALSO became "demonstrate that federal government doesn't work by MAKING it not work." By using all the procedural stupid dirty tricks that a reactionary old bunch of white dudes that had just been through a war put into place to make any point of settled law that had happened basically as hard to change as fucking possible.

Now, the Democrats couldn't/didn't WANT to play by those rules, because their biggest and most popular successes (qualified, imperfect, but still) - Social Security, Medicaid, the civil rights movement, antitrust, worker protections, environmental protections - are all contingent on a federal government apparatus that actually fucking works. And now that the Republicans can win either by getting what they want OR by yelling "look, this process is clearly broken and doesn't work!", the only way Democrats can make sweeping changes without having to fight tooth and nail every step of the way is to have a majority in both houses of Congress, control the Presidency, and the Supreme Court.

Because again, the reactionary old white men who had just lived through a butt ton of social upheaval wanted to make it hard for one group of (rich white, male enfranchised) people to control another - and they literally at that time could not have envisioned the way the country would grow into both a far more unified AND polarized place that would take these safety rails and exploit them to block every achievement their opponent might make, whether or not it was actually in the best interests of the people they're representing.

(I mean, they should have, political parties and all that toxicity were not new to the British Empire before the colonies even existed, but well, I think we all know by now there's a lot of things they couldn't have imagined. See also: the second amendment)

So here's the deal - if you punish Joe Biden for being a confused corporate-friendly war-hawkish atrocity-enabling weenus - which he totally is sometimes! - you are kneecapping any actually progressive congressional candidates you elect unless you can also deliver 67+ solidly Democrat/Green/whatever the fuck Angus King is votes in the Senate, and 290+ equally staunch Democratic representatives. Because otherwise, that Republican President's just gonna veto everything they legislate that isn't what he wants. And yes, the Senate has to approve any federal judges or Supreme Court justices he wants to appoint - but again, the Republican party sees the federal court system being slow, backed up and impossible to use as a totally acceptable compromise in return for being able to block any significant Democratic legislation from going forward.

Since 1789, do you know how many vetoes have been overridden by supermajority? 109, out of 1,484.

Now, if you could GET that supermajority in the Senate and the House? You could amend the Constitution! You could make mail-in votes mandatory, and/or mandated paid time off for voting. You could mandate ranked-choice voting, so that leftists could vote for the candidate they actually want without splitting up the bloc to the advantage of the fash/fash-adjacent. You could do things like mandate that a Presidential election isn't valid until a minimum threshold number of votes has been achieved that's actual a majority of eligible voters, not just whatever fanatical minority shows up that day, so some asshole who won with 20 percent of eligible voters can't claim to have "a mandate from The People."

BUT WITHOUT THAT SUPERMAJORITY, VOTING TO PUNISH ELECTED OFFICIALS FOR NOT DOING THINGS THEY CANNOT FUCKING DOOOOOO MEANS NOTHING BUT LOSING FOR ALL OF US!

Especially when the other fucking asshole candidate wants to make it legal for the National Guard to LIVE FIRE WITH ACTUAL MILITARY BULLETS ON PROTESTORS, and the Supreme Court has just made it possible for him if elected to order that and have it not be illegal! If he wants to start deporting all Muslim immigrants like he was trying to push for last time he was elected, or round up LGBTQ people and put them in re-education camps, if he gets elected, he could do that now! Because crimes committed as "official acts" are no longer crimes!

So you want to not have to regularly make shitty compromises in the voting booth any more? Great, neither do I. Here are the only ways I see this going forward:

Get 2/3rd of the states of the union to call for an Article V constitutional convention - and be willing to have the process potentially hijacked by fash nutjobs at the state level if those 2/3rds aren't all Democratic-controlled. It's possible - I mean, the system was specifically designed to work that way - but the fact that a) an Article V convention has not successfully been called in the history of the US, and b) the only people advocating for that in the year 2024 are the actual fucking Heritage Foundation of the infamous Project 2025, Ben Shapiro of "but pussy doesn't get wet" fame, Greg "the solution to Uvalde is arming teachers" Abbott and similar nutjobs make me think that's not the safest way to get the outcome we want here.

Hold your noses and get 67 Senators and 290 Representatives elected that are either Democrats or who will reliably caucus with them like Socialists or Greens and have them pass a law to require ranked choice voting for the presidency - there's a chance it'll get a constitutional challenge from the Supreme Court, but there's not a solid precedent either forbidding or encouraging, and by the time it's an issue hopefully we're back in 5/4 liberal court territory if Alito and Thomas either retire or get canned. That will mean a lot of mid corporatist conservative Dems who will make decisions you don't like and don't want to support, but with an endgame of someday getting to stop doing that. This is honestly probably the most achievable, so it is also the one Republicans are fighting against hardest with gerrymandering and voter suppression, and they have banned it on the state level in Florida, Montana, South Dakota, Tennessee and Idaho.

Let Republicans get elected to prove a point. This will result in an unknown but presumably acceptable to you number of deportations, convictions, legal abuse and deaths among people the Trump administration declares undesirable, including Muslims, Palestinians, trans people, anyone working in gender studies or race studies, the unhoused, potential child labor, and people of childbearing potential among others. This is not a threat to get you to fall in line. It is a prediction based on the previous behaviorand stated policy positions of Mr. Trump, the Republican National Convention, and the decision of the Supreme Court allowing his administration to carry out what would otherwise be crimes but for a president are "official actions" now apparently. It will also at the very least make easier the capture of the Supreme Court for another two or three decades during which no effective challenges can be brought for voter suppression, gerrymandering, and violent suppression of protest.

honest question: how, exactly, if it becomes an illegal act to talk about racism, queer liberation or police reform, are you proposing to get your better, more leftist candidates elected? I am so serious right now, why do you think after another four years of Trump provided he doesn't just immediately declare martial law like he already almost did once, do you think people would be willing to stick their necks out to identify themselves as enemies of the state? Think about the stranglehold Joseph McCarthy had on this country from 1947-1957.

#us politics #it's not scaremongering when it's true #i am not fucking 'blue maga'#i have just witnessed far too many people wash their hands of voting like pontius pilate 'washing his hands' of the crucifixion #if more people held their nose and voted for imperfect candidates we might have had ranked choice voting by now #if al gore and hillary clinton had gotten elected who knows?#of course maybe if al gore had gotten in somebody even more rancid than bush II would have been elected after him who fucking knows #i just know that politics is not a corporation you can't boycott it into compliance

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influenzalake · 11 months ago

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'Another Bite' Yandere Damian Wayne x E.D. Reader Part 1 *TW*

Reader has an eating disorder, in the past it was really bad, but has since gotten better. Damian wants a baby, but doesnt tell reader.

Reader's ED is a mix of bulimic, avoidant, and anorexic symptoms. Reader mostly restricts.

Female reader

***MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING***

Part 1 is mostly Damian POV / Damian centric

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"Skinny" "Skin and Bones" "EW! Your Bones Are Showing!" "You weigh 100 lbs soaking wet." "I could snap you in half" "Do you eat??" "How are you so skinny" "Thin" "Underweight"

Music to her ears.

Y/n steps on the scale, with a number in her head. She already has regiments ready post-weigh in. If she hits her goal, she may exercise snack and relax. If she does not hit her goal, she must exercise twice as hard, snack the same, and weigh in again. Y/n has been slowly, very slowly, recovering from her eating disorder. Progress is progress to y/n, but Damian feels differently. He knows her schedule by now. Wake up, look in mirror, go to bathroom, weigh on scale. What happens next depends on the numbers. Numbers on glass. That's all that matters to her. The love of his broken life.

Damian and y/n have been engaged for 2 years, dating for not much more. Damian saw his beloved and refused to wait. Y/n got his attention and could not say no. Y/n was amazed she bagged this Tall Dark and Handsome, but he was carefully moving through with his plans. His precious Y/N had no self esteem, it was almost too easy. What was not so easy was actually marrying her. Every time Damian tried to sit her down and talk about their next Forever something came up. With the time it took to plan a wedding and his unpredictable schedule time passed him by without mercy. Damian understood he had a duty to Gotham and Earth, but this was eating him alive. Every month was another bite to his sanity. He was proud to have her as his fiancee, but without the true bond of marriage he felt she could leave him at any moment. He felt unsteady, like it could blow at any moment. Whether Damian is referring to himself or the relationship, who knows. All he knows is that just being engaged is not enough. Damian wants MORE. Damian wants NOW.

What better time to have a baby?

Damian soothes himself in this fantasy of his beautiful y/n settled in the manor with his child in her arms. Her soft body fresh from childbirth, resting in one of the many living rooms. She chooses to sit in front of a window for the warmth of the sunlight as she is still so small. He walks over to greet them and his child beats him to it. A loud babble rings into the high ceiling. His baby looks up at him and wiggles their chubby fingers. Y/n giggles and leans up to kiss him. Her wedding ring reflects a sparkling light across the walls. This. This is all he has ever wanted.

He is dragged back to reality with his darling bounding back to the mirror. She is at her goal, he thinks. She examines her body and he does the same. How her hip bones poke out above her underwear, creating a void right in the front. How her hands look so skeletal when she stretches. How her womb looks so damn empty. another bite. She finishes her secondary inspection, happy with her body and smiles towards him. He just can't help himself, and smiles back. Damian thinks she would be happier, feel more beautiful, and most of all be more attached to him after a baby. He could care less what the numbers say, he just wants his y/n. He wants her attached to him. He wants her pining for him as hard as he does for her. He wants her stuck with him. He wishes he could will all of his romantic competition away. No other person deserves to see her, speak to her, or know she exists. His possessiveness seems to rise as her weight seems to fall. Damian almost cannot handle the pressure. He is acutely aware of how the media presents their relationship, how gala attendees hound her for a dance, or how there have been plenty of attempted kidnappings already. He wants nothing more than to put a ring on her finger, sign his name on the dotted line, and make it official.

This world is too cruel for his y/n. It would be much better for her if he could finally protect her from it. Damian wanted to give in to his nature, but generous y/n had other ideas. For all the pain she has endured, y/n only gives back in love. She enjoys volunteering around Gotham and going out for errands. Always on time at her job and sometimes puts in extra hours. A breath of fresh air is all y/n needs to start her day off right. This brightness almost sickens Damian, even if it is part of what attracted him in the first place. An involved member of the community, kind, and hard working. another bite. Damian can't help it. He needs her safe. In the Manor. Where there are no others. She would have everything she needs and anything more within reach. She would live in luxury without the incessant pestering of rude reporters or colleagues. He finds a multitude of excuses to justify his feelings and behavior. He is just so in love. So in love he needs her to carry his seed and his last name.

In his madness, Damian completely mapped her routine and natural cycle. Catching every missed period, documenting every symptom, and how changes affect each cycle. He also knows y/n's personal history, for scientific purposes of course. Understanding his y/n of the past can help him understand the y/n of the present and future! It is a good strategy, not invasive at all. Damian concludes that for his plan to work, every detail will be evaluated. Damian will distract Y/n from the scale more and more. Damian will alter her meals to add extra calories. Damian will offer to exercise with her, all in an effort to change her routine. Correction, break her routine. If Damian cannot find the peace in his life to make a marriage and baby happen, he will force it. As the fiancee of heir to the Wayne fortune, a pregnancy can be devastating. Photographers would plaster her belly on every screen and tabloid, reporters would dare ask who the father is, handsy businessmen would go in for a touch. But as wife of the heir to the Wayne fortune, a pregnancy would solidify the future. Photographers would never be allowed past lot boundaries, reporters would only have the chance to address Mrs. Wayne when Damian was with her, and any man who touches his y/n would get the sword. or *ahem* "Disappear Mysteriously".

Damian doubts his beloved, in her current state, could carry a child to term. Her petite frame would most likely need assistance during the birth. Damian has researched every complication that could happen to a small underweight mother. Damian fears she could relapse in the middle of her pregnancy and miscarry the baby. Then it would be all the way to square one. He knows she would have nowhere else to turn to if she got pregnant. She would get tired more easily. She would have to take maternity leave. She would start showing. She would have to start wearing baggier clothes. She would have to hide from the public. She would eventually be found out. His mind races with all the consequences of y/n becoming pregnant, and technically out of wedlock!

She would have to marry him.

If he could just get her to gain a few more pounds...

Damian fools himself into the idea that everything would be perfect if he could just get y/n pregnant. She would want to keep the baby right? RIGHT? How could she think of aborting HIS prized spawn? And now carrying his baby, her life would have to change. No more weigh ins, no more cutting calories, no more intense exercise. Adding the benefit of his beloved having stable health, she could focus more on him. On the new baby. No more going out, no more chatting with random office workers, NO MORE. Most importantly, he could finally marry his y/n. He would push the marriage with the added stress of a baby fresh in her mind. another bite.

Damian cannot lose. He would sell the idea of security to her, without telling her exactly how. He would make promises of safety, without telling her what she would lose in the process. He would talk about how "happy" they would be, without considering y/n's feeling toward this life changing event.

With his feelings running wild, Damian invites his precious darling back to bed... for a 'different' kind of exercise. Excusing any form of birth control, he instead brings her focus on how good he makes her feel. How good he can treat her. How good this is.

Almost too easy.

#eating disorder #TW #tw disordered eating #batman #damian wayne #x reader #fanfiction #pregnant reader #yandere

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in-need-of-gally-content · 1 year ago

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|Chapter•Three|

•|Masterlist|•

The creaking sound of the staircase under someone's weight woke him up. He didn't know what time it was, but it was eerily quiet, especially when he thinks of all the sounds going around when he wakes up in the morning, so he figured it was still too early for anyone to get up. Maybe Fry had gotten up to start making breakfast.

A painful groan escaped him when he tried to move to get out of bed, his whole body stiff, and he realized that he had slept all night sitting against the headboard and now he was suffering the consequences.

He starts stretching, feeling his muscles relax and joints pop, making him huff at the loud sound they made, "Ow," he muttered at the pain he felt all over, but still pushed through it and got up from the bed.

His eyes look at the bathroom, but he decided to scavenge his bag first, successfully finding a toothbrush, it's inside a plastic bag, sealed closed, the letters WCKD printed on it. He opens it and heads to the bathroom, ready to properly brush his teeth this time.

//////

And now, he walked out of the med room ready to start his day, stepping into the kitchen and greeting Fry and Jim, along with Mike and David who were doing their secondary job, joining them on cooking breakfast, a comfortable silence falling around them. While moving stuff around, he catches sight of the missing floorboards and the chipping wallpaper, he wondered if he could maybe ask Alby, Newt, or Gally if he could try and... Maintain the Homestead?

But the rush of boys showing up with grumbling stomachs made him focus back on what he was doing. And eventually, everyone had settled down and were eating, mostly in peace and quiet, but some were making conversation, the usual thing in the Glade, he realized.

He also realized that Fry was gonna end up making him eat breakfast, which he could not take, so he rushed out and beelined straight to Gally, who stared at him with a sleepy expression, some sheet marks on his face and arm.

"What do we need to continue building the tree house?" Gally blinked a few times, using his free hand to rub his eyes as he frowned, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking up at him again.

"You're not gonna work without eating something first, are ya?" Gally watched the greenie shrugging for a moment, rocking on the balls of their feet.

"I already ate," he spew out a quick lie, there's no way Gally would know anyway. He frowns but eventually nods.

"There's a cabinet on the first floor, by the Gathering room where we keep all we need in a toolbox, you can't miss it," he nods as he remembers seeing a flash of said place, and he makes his way out of the dining area and back in the Homestead.

He walked toward the Gathering room and opened the door next to it, it was more of a built-in closet rather than a cabinet, and yeah, there was the box Gally talked about, it had 'BUILDERS' written on it in bold letters, and he couldn't help but let out a chuckle to himself and he reached down to grab it.

Heading back, he stopped by the tables, catching the eyes of pretty much everyone. He briefly made eye contact with them, and showed a gentle, kind smile their way before heading back to the Deadheads where his soon-to-be treehouse was being built.

As he approached the woods, he heard barking, making him rush to be able to leave the toolbox somewhere near the pile of covered up planks and sticks, before rushing toward the barn, giving some pets and kisses to Bark. He smiled and laughed at the enthusiasm of the dog, and he debated if he should let him out, maybe just a little bit wouldn't hurt...

He played around a small area with Bark, chasing after the other and play fighting, easily picking him up and gently swinging him around, his laughter and Bark's barking echoing in the Glade, definitely making some Glader's heart feel warm at the happiness both displayed with each other.

They jumped and ran around until the greenie finally fell to the grass, heaving as Bark laid on top of him, licking his face and neck, his body moving around frantically, still huffing for air after all the physical activity he did so early in the day, feeling content at the realization of having someone to play with.

"Anyone else wants to be in that stinky dog's place?" The sun that had been shining on his face was now being blocked by a body, and a voice he'd grown to dislike and dread, making him hesitate before he opened his eyes.

Billy was there, accompanied by Jackson and Tim, two more of the Baggers, he slowly sat up and Bark took a protective stance in front of him as he stood up, standing tall on his feet.

"Jealous of a dog? Says a lot about you, Billy," he muttered while reaching down to pat Bark's back, "Come on, boy," he added toward the dog, slowly turning around as Bark followed reluctantly.

Billy scoffed and gripped the greenie's wrist before he could take a step to leave. He would've pried his arm off from his hold, but he could notice the Slicers and Builders coming up from behind them when he peeked over the Keeper's shoulder.

"Come on, babe, I know you like me, no need to hide it," his eyebrows went up to his hairline, and he watched with disgust as Billy gets closer to him, the look in his eyes making him snort as he glanced away.

"Believe me, you're not my type," he chuckles and his warm, vile breath makes his throat close, wanting nothing more than get away from him, but his hold on his wrist lowers to his hand, holding it in what is supposed to be a 'gentle, sweet' touch, but his hand feels rough and dry against his skin. It was unpleasant. He felt a cold sweat down his spine, despite the blazing sun hitting his sweaty and dirty skin.

"Well, I'm sure we can arrange something, sweetie," he bites his tongue in order to hold in an insult that threatened to come out, and simply looked at Billy dead in the eyes, a small smirk pulling the corner of his lips up.

"We might but..." He caught a glimpse of everyone getting close enough to hear him, but he still spoke a little bit louder, just to get the point across, "When you grow a vagina you can call me."

The superior grin on his face fades away as he stays frozen in place, hearing the boys approaching from behind them sputter as they try not to laugh at the obvious rejection Billy just got.

They watch the greenie pat his shoulder in a mocking reassurance, "Thought so," and he walks back to the barn, taking Bark back in the pen before giving him food and water in his bowls.

He sees Gally waiting for him on the other side of the fence, the rest of the Builders walking past him and over to the Deadheads, he smiles at him and starts following the taller guy, who begins to laugh every time he remembers the moment or hears one of the guys upfront comments about it.

"That's was... Brilliant, greenie," Gally brought him closer with his arm wrapped around his shoulders, pressing him close in a playful way, messing with his (h/c) hair and causing him to laugh with a groan. Gally sighs and they continue walking without pulling away, "Welcome to the Glade," he mumbled.

His head tilted back to look up at him, the sun making his hair look more ginger than blond, his green eyes shining bright and the freckles that dotted his skin became more noticeable.

The sight was mesmerizing if anything. Smiling really suited Gally, it was nice.

"Thank you," he whispered loud for him to look down at him, green eyes locking on (e/c) ones, "For giving me a chance here. Thank you for that, Gally."

He remained quiet for a few seconds, swallowing when he felt his throat going dry, the same feeling from yesterday filling his body, warming him from the inside out. He took a deep breath and smiled at the greenie.

"Everyone is worthy of a chance, greenie. Remember that."

//////

They worked for a few hours, and now, lunch was called. Of course, he wasn't planning on going.

They had finished the foundation, and now had to work on the support that had to go on the trees and in the dirt. They were working away from the spot he had picked after getting the initial measurements, especially cause they needed the space to work comfortably in, everything was gonna be moved into the Deadhead when the time comes.

"Greenie, come on," someone told him, he wasn't too sure who because he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, working on autopilot.

"In a minute," he managed to mumble, and he was soon left alone. He continued working, hyper-focused on getting this done and ready by the time they come back from eating lunch.

He's not sure why he feels the need to finish everything as quickly as possible, and still make sure it's in good shape and nice quality, it's just... Something he does, which made him wonder if he's just this way, that it's part of who he is.

And having stuff to do and focus on prevented him from letting his mind wander around aimlessly, only to end up slowing him down, and he would end up wondering why he was the way he is. Like... Why was he born a she when it is clear he's not? There had to be something wrong with his brain and how it functions... Yeah, that was it, definitely.

He was just faulty.

Sighing, he stopped hammering the nail, staring at his hands, stained with dirt.

"(M/n)..." Mumbling his name to himself out loud definitely made him feel like it really was his name, and his eyes shifted to look in the direction where the name wall was. Where everyone's names were engraved, and others were crossed out. Maybe...

"Greenbean!" The sound of Fry and Jim's voices made him flinch, feeling the need to hide, as if he had done something wrong and had to hide from mom and dad. They were most likely mad at him for skipping another meal, yet again. But they wouldn't understand if he told them that he couldn't eat that much every day, only able to handle dinner fully and the occasional afternoon snack, that was all the food and nutrients he needed.

Hearing their footsteps getting closer, he placed the hammer down and swiftly made his way into the woods behind him, hiding behind the trees and avoiding stepping on sticks and crunchy leaves on the dirt.

He thought he had gotten far enough away, when he saw, far ahead, what seemed to be wooden crosses sticking from the dirt, and he felt curious about what that could be, so he started walking that way.

Getting closer, he noticed that... It was a graveyard. And each cross had some kind of sign hanging from them, he crouched in front of one, reaching for the sign and clearing the dry dirt on it. He took a deep breath as a chill went through his whole body as he read the first sign. A name. The second one. Another name. The third one. One more name.

"So... This is where you guys are," he muttered as he recognized the names as the ones being crossed off on the wall, although one in particular caught his attention, "Stephen..." There was a piece of paper stapled under his name, some traces of dried mud from rainy days staining it, but the words were still readable, "Reminder, the box hole is not a way out, don't be like this shank..."

An image flashed in his mind again, and he clutched his head tightly, the faint sounds of panicked screaming and cries of help echoed inside his skull, accompanied by what seemed to be a tv screen in front of him. And he saw it.

A guy being pulled out of the box hole, cut in half.

The vivid image and the throbbing pain made his stomach churn, crawling away from the graves and immediately throwing up. The bile in his stomach made his throat burn and his eyes tear up.

He stayed there a few minutes, more bile coming out as he threw up one more time, his stomach emptier than before. He regained his breathing, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, letting the tears on his face dry on their own, closing his eyes and he slowly stood up, supporting himself up on the tree.

Stumbling his whole way back, the same image appeared in his mind, threatening to make him vomit again. And he saw the Builders, watching them getting ready to start working again. He tried to dismiss the way his body and mind felt, and took a shaky breath through his mouth as he went back to work.

//////

Mikah, Gally, Xan, Kurt, and Archie, kept a close eye out on him, noticing how he seemed sick, his skin didn't look like it usually did, it had a grey tint on it now, and his arms seemed weaker and he definitely was in no condition to be working right that moment, especially when they saw him try to stand up but not being able to, and he simply started crawling his way around to help others.

"Okay, that's it, greenie," he looked up at Gally, who realized his eyes seemed sunken and empty, devoid of light. He was worried about the (h/c) haired guy, "You're coming with me."

Gally leaned down to help him up despite his protests and started dragging the greenie to the Homestead.

Completely ignoring the slurred comments and whines coming from him, he takes him to the med room, where he sees Clint patching up a Slicer, Mike. The blond quickly notices him and nods for him to walk in.

"Hey, Gally, you need something?" He walks past him and sets the greenie in one of the empty beds.

"I don't know what happened to him, but he seems sick," Clint nodded and finishes up with Mike, telling him he could leave.

The blond walks closer and checks on the greenie for a few seconds, he can see that he's not okay, but he doesn't know what it could be, so he decided to pour him some water so he could drink.

"Here, drink this," Clint watches how the greenie sits up slowly, gripping the bed a little tighter than needed, so maybe he got dizzy. He takes the cup and slowly starts drinking it.

He was feeling a little bit better now after drinking the water, but he didn't like the way he was being stared at, it made him feel like a child that had done something that made him get sick and now had to be taken care of.

"Okay! I'm fine, I just... Saw something that made me sick and I threw up," he said quickly, lowering the cup before being able to take another sip, "I'm alright, I can get back to work-"

"Not a chance, greenie, you stay here and rest," he looked at Gally, who wore an expression saying 'do not fight me on this', and slouched on the bed, defeated.

"I couldn't have said that better myself," Clint added as he opened some bottom drawers from the cabinets with medication, and placed a few books on the foot of the bed, "If you get bored you can read these."

He groaned, and nodded, reaching for them and placing them next to his hip, "Get better soon, greenie," Gally added from the doorway, looking at him before leaving.

//////

The books would've worked to distract him once upon a time, but someone had thought that they were funny and drew all over the pages, they even tore a few off of every book. Not a single one survived the massacre.

He thought he was gonna be bored out of his mind for the rest of the day, but then Newt walked in, mumbling the word 'tweezers' to himself over and over again.

He remembers seeing them somewhere in the bathroom, so he points there when he and Newt make eye contact.

He mumbles a 'thank you' and heads to the bathroom, finding the tweezers he was looking for. Greenie kept hearing him mumble curses followed by pain noises, so he gets up and headed toward the skinny blond, resting against the doorframe.

"You good?" He asks and Newt groans in pain, shaking his hand. He seems to be trying to take something stuck to his skin, "Come here," he mutters while grabbing his wrist, making him sit on the bed and grabbing the tweezers.

"I can do this by myself-" a hiss interrupts him as the most painful thorn is pulled out of his skin, "Bloody hell..." He mumbles and decides to remain silent as the greenie takes all the little thorns and splinters off his hand.

"How did this happen?" He mumbles as he counts the fifth thorn and seventh splinter he's taking out and Newt only scoffs.

"I was being a shucking twat," Newt was frowning but a small smile showed up when he heard the greenie snort at this choice of words.

"I love your accent, Newt," the blond was caught off guard by his comment, feeling his face a little warm. No one has ever complimented his accent, they just sort of pointed it out, but nothing else, he never paid it any mind, "I was being a shucking twat, so funny," he chuckles as he hears him trying to imitate him, and he realizes he hadn't been thinking about the pain in his hand.

The stayed silent for a moment as he removed the last thorn in Newt's palm, sighing as he stood up.

He hummed as he looked around the cabinets, until he found what he was looking for. Oxygen peroxide and bandages, some of his wounds were bleeding and still open, and it would be easy for them to get infected, so he wanted to try and prevent that.

He cleaned his hand, mumbling apologies whenever Newt would hiss from pain or mutter an 'ow', and slowly started to bandage it, when he remembered something.

"Oh, Newt," the blond hummed as a response, so he continued, "Do you know where I can find a paper and a pen?" He asked, looking up after securing the bandage with some surgical tape.

Newt thought about it for a moment, "Clint and Jeff usually have a journal with 'em where they write stuff, so maybe there's some here?" He signaled toward the cabinets and drawers around them, "If not then the Builders have some, usually for sketching new structures and such," the greenie hummed and patted his back.

"Thanks, Newt, you're all done," standing up from the bed, he started carefully looking around, replying to Newt's 'bye' with a 'see ya'.

Well, he certainly didn't find anything around. And now he had to walk out and ask Gally- or any other Builder, it didn't have to be-

"Jesus," he jumped when he came face to face with another Glader, realizing it was... Alec. A Builder!

"Oh- shucking..." He mumbled with tight fists and clenched jaw, "You scared me, greenie," he chuckled and walked into the med room.

He chuckled, but soon silence fell upon them, "Uh, Alec?" He groaned as he looked around the cabinets, looking for the painkiller pill bottle, "Do you know where I can find a paper and a pen?"

Alec looked at him as he plopped one pill in his mouth, drank some water he got with him, and shrugged, "The Runners have them, you can ask Minho, greenie," and like that, he left.

He huffed, wondering where Minho could be. Probably in the Maze, so he would have to sit around and wait until he comes back.

//////

Which he did.

He ended up falling asleep for a few hours, only to wake up just in time to see Minho coming back to the Glade from the Maze.

Damn did he run out of there to catch up to him before he disappeared in the Map Room.

"Minho!" He called out to him, catching his attention, stopping by the open door and signaling Dan to go ahead.

"Hi, greenie, need anything?" He smiled and lifted his hand to push his hair back, revealing more of his face, the color finally returning to his skin.

"Do you have some paper and a pen?" Minho blinked at the random question and scratched the back of his head.

"Uh, yeah, I think so, wait," he walked into the room and proceeded to rummage around the place, most likely making a mess that he'll have to fix but he didn't mind, although he found some paper and a pen, "Here."

He grabbed them with a happy smile, "Thank you~!" He cheerfully said before running back.

"You're welcome..."

Minho smiles to himself and shakes his head, going back into the room.

//////

During dinner time, greenie finds himself sitting with Newt, Zart, Clint, Jeff, Fry, and Minho, chatting with them and getting to know them just a little bit better, enjoying a nice and chill night in the Glade, where no one seemed to comment on him like they had been doing since he arrived.

But now, he had walked into his provisional room, sitting on the bed and using the hardcover of one of the books to place the paper on.

He began remembering all the words he had heard around, some sticking out more than others, and he wrote them down.

"Shank... Slinthead... Shuck... Klunk..." He mumbled to himself, as a way to try and figure out their spelling.

And his mumbling caught someone's attention, just like it had done the night before. The med room door was slightly opened, and he saw the greenie sticking out his tongue out the corner of his mouth in concentration, writing down.

He shook his head with a small smile and knocked on the door, getting his attention, "Need help with that, greenie?"

His (e/c) eyes look at him, and he soon showed him an apologetic smile.

"I don't understand how you guys talk, could you help me with that?" Gally nodded and walked in, sitting on the spot the greenie made on the bed when he shimmied away, "Okay, what does shank mean and when do you say it?"

Gally's green eyes watched how he got his grip around the pen, ready to scribble his answer away.

"Well, shank usually means 'friend' or 'fellow'," words show up on the paper, (messy/neat) handwriting greeting his sight, "Or it could just simply mean 'person', y'know? And it can be used like... Whenever, I think."

Nodding and humming, he writes down everything that Gally says, underlying what he thinks is the most important part, and they continued explaining and learning the Glader slang for a while, changing topics when they're done, and eventually, falling asleep together.

#gally x reader #gally x y/n #gally x male reader #gally maze runner #tmr gally #the maze runner x reader #the maze runner x male reader #trans reader #ftm reader #trans #will poulter x reader #will poulter

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vacantwatchers · 7 days ago

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And the beat goes on

ao3. wc: 1,521 Tommy & Steve, season one, hurt/comfort, panic attack, hugging, bed sharing

It's loud when he pushed the window sill up, but he doesn't know how to make it not be. He's too occupied with the shaking in his hands and the desperate need to breathe deeply for the first time in hours. Heaving himself through the window isn't much quieter, not when he always forgets the little action figures Tommy lines his window with.

They clutter to the floor, but their sound is masked by Steve’s body hitting the floor harder, startling the bed in front of him and causing a groaning ripple as his best friend (ex-best friend? What's the use by date on the term after a fight?) rolls and pushes himself up to investigate the sound.

Tommy is barely visible amongst his covers and Steve can't tell if it's because the nightlight he's had since they were five wasn't plugged in, or because he can't see through the tunnel vision he's had since leaving the hospital and it was about to swallow him whole. Either way, Steve would really appreciate being able to see him, the familiarity of seeing his sleepy, cowlicked hair would be a real comfort right then.

Tommy moves quickly, leans over the pillow he uses to hug at night ever since Mr Tumbles got too delicate to cuddle with, and turns on the lamp by his bed.

"What the fu—Harrington? What are you doing here, man? I thought you were sick of me."

Steve would absolutely love to answer Tommy, but the fear and panic that had been trying to drown him for the last God knows how many hours have decided to settle into his bones and muscle. All he can feel is static pumping through his fingers and chest. Somewhere deep in the back of his head, he knows that this is only happening because he's retreated to one of the only places he has ever felt safe. Knows it as surely as his body did when he'd made the unthinking left turn that would lead onto Kerly instead of turning towards home.

Distantly, Steve is aware of the rustle of shifting blankets and sheets, of socked feet hitting the floor. It's all secondary to trying to get the buzzing static out of his body instead of dragging everything away from his arms to start pooling in his chest. There's a warmth in front of him, a furnace that snares his hands and drags them away, pushes them against a heaving drum. He tries to pull focus, uses the pressure of his knees against his chest and the steady beat of the drum under his hands as a guide and slowly becomes aware of his body.

Steve blinks slowly, matches his breathing to the rhythm under his hands and lets himself focus on the external stimuli instead of the spiral he fell into harder than he had Tommy's floor. The idea of immediately looking up into Tommy's eyes scares him, the idea of not knowing what he'd find his friend's eyes is almost as paralysing as whatever the fuck is happening to him right now. Instead he squeezes his blinks to focus on the ancient light blue T-Ball team shirt innocently gripped in his hands.

When had he closed his hand?

"You with me yet, Stevie-boy?"

Tommy's chest buzzed against his clenched fingers.

"Come on, Stevie, I need you to breathe, man. You're starting to freak me out. You haven't been like this since you broke your retainer in the ninth grade, and if it weren't for the fact that I know your dad is still on that business trip I'd think this was because of him." Tommy pressed harder against Steve's trapped hands. "Give me an explanation, man, because I haven't seen you since yesterday, and that's weeks for us man."

"I fought a monster." It came out as barely a whisper, it certainly lacked the energy to cross the scant space between them.

"You fought—listen if you don't want to—"

Steve sighed. "Tommy. Tommy, when have I ever not told you something?"

Finally, Steve looks up. Tommy is frowning but he hasn't moved away. Doesn't look as mad as he'd expected, he looks mostly worried actually. The right side of his face is washed yellow from the lamp. His freckles remind Steve of distant stars, the way they're barely visible in this light.

"I don't know, Steve. Until a day ago, I didn't know you thought I was an asshole."

"I don't—we were—the situation in context—" Steve groans, all drive that was powering him to stay upright was quickly vanishing. Frustrated, he leans across the space between them, brings his aching head in to press against Tommy's. "You're an asshole. I'm an asshole. Carol's an asshole. We're fucking seventeen, we're all assholes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I'm not—fuck, Tommy. I had a gun pulled on me, they shot it and I had to jump over a bear trap before they set it on fire. It didn't have a face but that didn't stop it from having a fucking mouth."

He wishes he could press closer to Tommy, the same way he's always wanted to be able to press closer. Wishes they could combine, that maybe Tommy would let him press close enough to hide in his chest and make a home amongst his ribs.

"Stevie—"

"I fought a monster, Tommy. It killed Barb, and all I can think about is that you were the last one in after her before she went back out there. You could have—"

Steve's hands were no longer trapped against Tommy's chest because Tommy was hugging him, the arm around his back as strong as the vice they used to build the bookshelf across the room. And yet, it wasn't as strong as the hand that was holding his head, pressing it into the safety of Tommy's neck. Steve doesn't know if he believes him, doesn't think he will without seeing that monster that dropped from Byers' ceiling; but with all the blood and will in his body, Steve will make sure Tommy never has to see that shit. Ever.

He would rather die in agony than let harm come him.

"Okay."

The word brushes against his ear and tickles his neck.

"It's okay, Steve. It didn't—I'm still here. Nothing happened to me. It sucks that it happened to Barb, we'll deal with that shit later. But right now, I'm here. You're here."

The hand cradling his head tightened its hold, gripped Steve's hair and helped ground him in the here and now.

"We're safe. We're both safe."

Steve pressed deeper into Tommy's shoulder, tucked his nose into his neck and let the familiar remnants of his aftershave and shampoo wash over. He was safe with Tommy. Nothing bad would happen to them here. He would keep Tommy safe, and Tommy would keep him safe. The same way they have since they met.

They were okay.

Tommy squeezed him tightly once before pulling back - not enough to let go, enough to pull his hand out from Steve's hair and bring it around to his jaw, enough to tilt him towards the yellow lamp light.

Steve felt like a bug pinned to styrofoam under the considering weight of Tommy's brown eyes. Knew he was looking at the dried blood and blossoming bruises but wondered if he was also seeing something Steve couldn't.

"Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna get up, and I'm gonna clean your face up. You're going to have a shower because you have blood on your sweater and then we're gonna go to sleep," Tommy's eyes flickered between his own, like he was looking for something. "We're gonna go to sleep and I'm gonna wake you up in two hours to see if your brain is soup, and tomorrow, tomorrow we'll talk about all the bullshit you told me. Okay?"

Later, after first aid and a shower, tucked into Tommy's clothes, Steve will move the pillow that replaced Mr Tumbles to the head of the bed and slip beneath the blankets. He'll wait until Tommy is in bed and laying down before twisting to turn off the light. He'll slide down and lay still for a moment before hearing a sigh and feeling Tommy's hand tug on his shoulder.

Steve nods. "Okay."

Later, Steve will curl into Tommy's side and Tommy will pull the blankets up and over his head, the same way he always has because he knows how Steve likes to sleep when he's stressed. He'll shift until he's filled all the gaps Tommy has left for him and will feel Tommy's arm drop heavy and grounding across his back while his hand rests in his hair, petting it slowly.

Steve will breathe in familiarity and relish in the fact that even after a fight and facing a monster, he hadn't lost this. That he has the chance to keep this. And tomorrow, after they talk about all the bullshit he somehow found himself in, Steve is going to put the work in to make sure he keeps being able to have this.

#steve harrington #tommy hagan #cw panic attack #barb holland #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stommy #fic #taylah writes #stranger things season one #on GOD i'm making these boys sort out their shit and i will eventually make them kiss

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thelemoncoffee · 1 year ago

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i've been playing SAR alot lately (cause i really want a specific cosmetic i have to complete a season pass to get) and i've been having brain worms for Saiouma playing it together.

please, allow me to brainrot for a post.

for ye who are unaware SAR (Super Animal Royale) is a top down battle royale with genetically engineered chibi furries in it called Super Animals. i don't normally like battle royales but this one is pretty nice with a good community, lore, and very rarely makes items unobtainable. its a good one for people who are looking for a chill battle royale, 10/10 would recommend

anywho saiouma playing SAR. i have so many brainworms- mostly to do with how they'd play the game, cosmetics they'd choose, and what game modes they'd prefer.

i can see Kokichi having been the one to have found the game, or was introduced to it by someone else, and then dragged Shuichi into it cause he wanted someone to share it with. he'd defiantly into the classic royale modes (solo, duos, squads), and use to really love Mystery Mode before it was removed from the mode list (there's always mummers of it coming back, but it hasn't. he misses it so)

Shuichi on the other hand prefers the extra modes (SAW vs Rebellion, Bawking Dead) over the actual Royale, mostly cause the larger teams makes it less likely for him to die instantaneously, and in both cases death doesn't mean you are out of the game. in SVR your teams respawn but have a limited respawn count pool that's connected to how many points your team has left and the first team to 0 points loses, and in BD when you die you become a chicken zombie and get to be part of the respawning hoard attacking the remaining survivors. he doesn't like the stress being against 90% of the lobby right off the bat creates, so these two modes are all he ever plays unless Kokichi begs him to join him for a round of Duos.

weapons wise it's a bit trickier cause i'm not too familiar with all the weapons stats- hell i don't know the stats for the weapons i prefer- but fear not! i can uses the wiki to scrounge up stats and strategy information.

for these i'm formatting this a bit different cause there's two gun slots, a melee, a throwable weapon, and one power-up, so i'm going to do this but listing off the choices and explanations bullet point style. i won't list the melee options cause they are purely cosmetic, they all have the exact same stats and all choices are really just skins so it's pointless to list those off

Kokichi- Main gun: Hunting Rifle. Kokichi loves to makes this game hard on himself, so why not give him a really difficult gun to use, hell even the wiki is saying this gun is for experienced users. this thing needs to be reloaded ever shot, the reload takes longer than most guns, and it slows player movement the most out of any gun in the game (it's tied with the BCG in player speed but still). HOWEVER! despite this absolute bullshit, it's great gun in his hands cause if you know how to shoot it right you can break any level of armor in one shot and do critical damage to someone who's unarmored. Secondary gun: Thomas Gun. to combat his stubborn ass difficult main gun habits, this is his favorite late game gun. it's not too easy to find so when he can't find it he settles for anything he can get his hands on- but it's his favorite automatic cause it's great at destroying armor, doesn't slow his movements, and is designed for his preferred close range combat style. it's really good for when he get into the final 10 range and needs a quicker gun to wipe out his opponents in their now insanely smaller arena that is still rapidly closing in on them, threatening to suffocate them to death if they can't kill one another fast enough Powerup: Skunk Gas Snorkel. so the arena gets smaller via a ring of green gas called Super Skunk Gas that slowly suffocates you- there are also skunk bombs that people can throw to make smaller temporary clouds of it. this items allows you to take less damage while in the gas, and Kokichi, who loves to play games the hard way, would purposefully like to play chicken with the skunk gas and uses this to keep himself just a little safer Throwable: Banana. it's literally just a banana, you can use them to slip anyone both enemy and teammate and stun them for a few seconds. he uses these exclusively on his teammates to annoy the shit out of them.

Shuichi- Main gun: AK. imma be real i'm giving him my main guns cause i genuinely feel like my play style suits him. the AK is an automatic he picked up cause it's an automatic and that means he doesn't have to spam click, but kept it cause it works well with his tunnel vision game play style. it is one of the guns that slows you down the most when holding, and isn't the best for close combat, but put him in a small corridor with people running at him and he can plow them down with it while standing still (aha, i do that) Secondary gun: SMG. this is a lighter automatic gun that's bullet spread is pretty wide, so he uses it mostly when on the move and in wide open spaces as he moves from one cubbyhole of the map to the next. they also shoot a bit faster than the AK but that means nothing to him when half the bullets miss the target by the nature of the gun's balancing. Powerup: Ninja booties. these reduce the amount of noice your character makes while moving and increases your speed just a hair, they also hide your footprints that zombies in BD can normally see and follow. they don't actually help him out too much given he doesn't know how to stealth play to save his life, but they give him a sense of comfort to some degree and that's what matters Throwable: zipline. Shuichi- like most SAR players- cannot resist the sweet lure of a zipline to be mindlessly played on for way too long in the middle of a match, so why not be the one to deploy them and trigger the collective braincell? besides, he forgets he has the other throwables when they're needed in combat

okay, now i got that done, i know i made a post once where i assigned the V3 cast super animal skins, but that was based on which i think they'd be as characters, not as actual preferred skins. so now i present to you what i think Saiouma's main three skin choices would be

Kokichi- -his is pretty difficult for me to pick with cause there's a good few i think he'd really love. but my faves for him are the Alebrije variants of various animals due to how neon they are. there's six of them but the one i think he'd like the most is the tiger variant -for something less eyestrain tho, i also thin he'd like the pig on the principle of i hc that's his fave animal. i picked the Lunar Pig cause it's red and i also hc that's his fave color. he literally would use this just because it's two fave things in one -he'd also really like the dragons because dragons are fucking sick as hell, any skin would do but i think he'd get the Ice Wyvern first just because it's the hardest to get

Shuichi- -similar to why i picked the lunar pig, Shuichi's main is the Yellow Bearded Dragon because i hc he likes yellow and reptiles. his favorite Reptile is snakes, but there's no snakes in SAR so he went with the cutest reptile option they had instead - i cannot be convinced Shuichi didn't see the Tibetan Fox, wheeze laugh at it's stupid face for far too long, then decide to get him simply for his own amusement -the Goth Possum is his second favorite skin in the whole game honestly, he likes how it looks like it has eyebags, and it's gothic

okay i'm done now- i'd add weapon skins too but this post it too long as is, feel free to send me asks if you wanna know about those tho

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #saiouma #headcanons #super animal royale #sar #this post is late cause i literally just finished typing it-#i took two hours to write this

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teddy-feathers · 1 year ago

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for reference, they are collecting complaints about our management.

I do not know if this will help, and if anything is said, it will be obvious it was I who said it, and I am scared.

So this is mostly just to say that if the route that includes all of the 600s/800s /1200s/1300s needs to be broken up differently.

I was assigned this route and really struggling to do it to the expected level, details included, consistently. I do not like to complain, and asking for help seems like admitting failure because I was assigned the route, so I should be able to get it done in its entirety by myself baring unexpected exceptions. I was mistakenly under the impression that I was just having trouble adjusting to the new route and that I would settle into a routine as I had in the past with other difficult routes. But as time passed and things did not get easier, my stress levels grew. It reached a breaking point when another worker pointed out that I had more buildings than anyone and that however small they may be, 35 buildings is too much.

It clicked for me then that it is, even if I combined the buildings down based on how you do them (some have to be done consecutively) into 32 buildings there was no reasonable way for me to get it all done.

With that outside input putting things into perspective for me, I went to Mr S February 20, 2023. Ms. A we're not supposed to bother directly anymore, and I did not know Ms. M. When I explained that I could not actually get everything expected of me done the way it was supposed to be done, Mr S said, "What do you want us to do about it?" Like I was being unreasonable. I should have pressed the issue, but I did not. I wrapped up and left.

What followed was remedial training on details by Ms. M, who even admitted that I didn't have time for details. The problem was not that I did not know how to do my job, but that I did not have time to do it correctly. The team leads were told to watch me, and I received many tickets to say my cleaning was not up to standard.

Previously, I had asked to be transferred to Secondary Location and was told that it couldn't be done. But once I started getting into trouble a lot for poor performance - when I had told Mr S that as things stood, things could not be done - they finally moved me.

The thing is, no one else wanted to do my route. When people covered it when I was out, they sent multiple people or the sigular people who covered complained and did not do any better than I was able to. I tried to keep a positive attitude, and I tried to do my best, but I was routinely told it wasn't possible and asked how I was doing so much. My understanding was that there were some other routes that were just as impossible to complete, but they did not come forward like I did. I was told they just did what they could and left the rest for tomorrow, which isn't acceptable, but honestly, what else could they do if the problem just couldn't or wouldn't be fixed by management?

I was moved in April, and it is now November. Routes could have changed. They could have hired more people. I don't know, but I would check to see how well the routes are balanced.

I do know however, that there are still problems at Primary Location even if no one, like me, follows up with their complaints and problems when something could be done about it or even knows that is an option. Or is afraid of things getting harder or worse for them in innocuous ways until they mess up under the pressure or quit from stress. I can't say why or who specifically should speak up, but I can say that my dad works on Primary Location and occasionally a custodian will check that I'm doing okay at Secondary Location and say that I shouldn't come back because things are bad at Primary Location.

I do not really want to send this, I do not think it is very helpful, and if it gets back to Ms A or Mr S, I believe that they will be upset. I have seen Ms. A upset once on a previous contract. She told us to change our routes on over night cleaning but as it was a very heavy cleaning day and we were all unfamiliar with one another's routes one of the ladies told us to wait all to wait a day before doing the change over. Ms. A found out and wrote us all up, but she was white faced with furry and said if we could not follow her instructions, she would replace us with someone who could. I understand that we were in the wrong, but it was rather terrifying, and I do not want to cross her or Mr S. There are ways to make work unpleasant even if outright firing isn't an option.

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bornforastorm · 1 year ago

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45 wips, that is amazing!! you know what i'm going to say, andor 4 andor 4 andor 4

is 45 good or the work of an absolute madman who can't finish things????

but of course, for you, andor 4:

After six months on Dantooine, Vel takes Nemik to Coruscant to meet her cousin, the famed and admired Mon Mothma.

It’s somewhere Skeen can’t go— his time in Imperial prisons mean his face is in the system and the moment he steps foot on Coruscant (or at least in the parts of Coruscant Vel is taking Nemik) he’ll be clocked in a way that’s too dangerous to risk. Being an ex-con these days is as good as being a criminal. It’s likely the imperial police force would scoop him up before he even had a chance to see the skyline, and then he’d never see the sky again.

He doesn’t like the idea of Nemik leaving Dantooine without him, or being left alone among the rebels himself, but there’s nothing he can do about it. Nemik is going– he’s determined to convince Mothma to take a firmer stance in the Senate, to be more public with her position. He’s determined to go, so he’s going.

Nemik found a place among the rebels quickly, fitting in with the generals and civilian leaders who have come from all over the galaxy to create their infant rebel alliance. Nemik’s involvement on Aldhani carries caché, and these are people with power, real power. They listen to him. They’re sending him to meet Mothma, to push her, and Vel agreed to be the go-between. She likes Nemik anyway. She always has.

Skeen has spent the six months lingering as a shadow at Nemik’s elbow. Standing behind him at meetings and planning sessions, rarely, if ever, contributing. They move in a tandem no one else understands. Sometimes Skeen will give his opinion, but only when directly asked, and largely only whispered into Nemik’s ear. Mostly he’s just there, listening and judging and grumbling. He’s there for Nemik, and everyone learns that very quickly. The rebellion is completely secondary to him.

And now he’s going to be left among them while Nemik goes to meet the Senator.

“Don’t worry,” Nemik says, adjusting Skeen’s collar for him. They’ve both largely kept to the rustic styles they’d worn on Aldhani, the rough hewn fabrics and functional, comfortable shapes. Now Skeen is dressed as he always is and Nemik is scrubbed and shined to look like he fits in with the cream of the upper crust. Vel provided a beautiful gold suit for him, with a high collar and flowing sleeves. He’s combed his hair carefully into whirling curls, precise and smooth. He looks like a little prince. “I’ll be back in no time.”

“I should be going with you.”

“You can’t. You wouldn’t be who you are if you could. And I love you as you are.”

Skeen blushes and his eyes drop to the floor.

Since settling on Dantooine, Nemik has gotten more open with his feelings, more expressive. He sees no reason to be shy. As Skeen once said, merely existing on Dantooine, in the heart of the rebellion’s operations, is a risk. Why not say what you feel, he thinks. Why not tell the people you love that you love them? They could be gone tomorrow. They both know that all too well.

“I’ll be back in four days,” Nemik says softly. He leans in to kiss Skeen on the cheek, going up on his toes, and feels Skeen smile. His hair has grown out some and is just starting to curl over his forehead and ears. He’d arrived on Aldhani fresh from some penal outpost, his hair buzzed down to nothing. He’d kept it that way for the duration of the mission. It was practical. It was in line with Imperial standards. It was a reminder of what he would go back to if they failed. To see him now, with his loose comfortable clothes and loose, curling hair, smiling and glowing and warm... It’s so soft it makes Nemik’s heart clench. It’s what life should be.

It’s been months since they were apart long enough to sleep in separate beds. How strange it is to realize that. How tenuous and delicate their happiness has been.

“Just… be careful. You look great, by the way.”

Nemik blushes.

He goes to Coruscant and Skeen stays on Dantooine, scanning the holonews. Just in case.

#andor #my beloved little rebels #my writing #this fic is 10000 words already and goes all the way to the end of EOTJ and I have so much more to write #😭😭😭

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zoyalannister · 2 years ago

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Fanfiction Masterlist

Since I was asked about my fanfics and where to find them, I decided to make a Masterlist. Maybe it will be easier for you and myself.

The Last Flowers

A series which integrates and corrects TLH canon. It comprises four long fics, a collection of missing moments one-shots and three oneshots as epilogues. I'm writing this series with @fimproda (A_WriterInSTEM on Ao3).

This series has many delicate themes, so, please, read all the TWs before reading.

Here are the single fanfics of this series:

Hydrangea: the 1st longfic, it's mostly about Gracetopher (kind of). Set between Chain of Gold and Chain of Iron. [Complete]

Daisy: the 2nd longfic, it's mostly about Jordelia, but unlike canon they can talk to each other like normal human beings. Set during Chain of Gold and Chain of Iron. [Ongoing, 5/6 chapters]

Chrysanthemum: the 3rd longfic, it will be a correction of all the nonsense that happens in Chain of Thorns. It will be about Gracetopher and Jordelia, but also AriAanna and Thomastair will have a minor role. (Not published yet).

Petals: a collection of one shots of missing moments from the rest of the long fics. [Ongoing, 3/6 chapters]

Geranium: I like to call it Hydrangea AU, it starts with the same premise but it goes in a totally different direction. It's mostly about Cecily and Grace having a mother-daughter relationship, but Gracetopher is a secondary relationship and AriAnna will have a minor role later on. It's independent from the rest of TLF and can be read separately. [Ongoing, 4/8 chapters]

Levander: the Thomastair epilogue, set after Chrysanthemum. (Not published yet).

Acacia: the AriAnna epilogue, set after Chrysanthemum. (Not published yet).

Night-blooming Jasmine: the Gracetopher epilogue, set after Chrysanthemum. (Not published yet).

Gracetopher

Exothermic: a Bridgerton-like fanfic that starts from the premise "What if Cecily got Herondale Manor instead of Will?" [Complete]

How (not) to end a feud: a fanfic where the clave is tired of the Lightwood-Blackthorn feud and decides to settle the matter down with a wedding. [Complete]

It's always been you: a collection of short one shots (500-1500 words) for the Gracetopher Week 2024. Mostly sports-related AUs. [Complete]

Endless Sunlight: a fanfic set after ChoT where Grace is obsessed by the idea of finding Christopher in another dimension, but once she arrives there she finds out that Christopher isn't the same kind and caring guy he was in her universe. Or, the self indulgent villain!Christopher fanfic. [Ongoing, 16/21 chapters]

What happens in the lab... : a PWP fanfic.

What happens in the carriage... : another PWP fanfic.

What happens in the hotel room... : the return of PWP.

Gabrily

Still insists she sees the ghosts: Cecily is accused of something she didn't do and her tale goes through two different parts of her life. [Ongoing, 4/8 chapters]

Bad luck: Morden!AU, it should be a commedy but my humour is broken and I can't gaurantee other people will find it funny. (Not published yet)

Across the PWPverse: a series of 3 PWP one shots connected with each other, but that can be read separately.

That one time in Chiswick Manor: a PWP where Cecily goes to Benedict Lightwood’s party and meets an interesting person.

That one time in the Institute: a PWP where Gabriel owes a favour to Cecily.

That one time in Southampton: a PWP where Gabriel is forced to admit that he’s wrong about something.

Lightwood family (Gabrily)

Balance: Modern!AU, no plot. Just Cecily Lightwood trying to balance work, marriage, motherhood and life in general. It will be a collection of short one shots (about 500/1000 words each) independent from each other. [Ongoing, 4/35 chapters].

Extra

A collection of the extra of all my fanfics. These posts will delve into some aspects if my fics.

Endless Sunlight: The planimetry of Chiswick Manor; The gardens of Chiswick Manor, Playlist, Random facts about Matthias Greene, Random facts about Oliver Whisperford.

#ao3 #author talks #gracetopher fanfiction #gabrily fanfiction #grace blackthorn #christopher lightwood #gracetopher #cecily lightwood #gabrily #gabriel lightwood #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #thomastair #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #anna lightwood #ari bridgestock

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boissonsaumiel · 1 year ago

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Brewing Experiment: ❝Butterscotch❞ Oatmeal ❝Stout❞

Ever since I discovered that rice wine starter can saccharify (convert into sugar) more than just rice, I've been wanting to test it out on other starchy foods I previously assumed to be unfermentable with the equipment I have at my disposal.

Recipe:

2lb oat flour (87% Correction: 73% carbohydrate)

1lb maca powder (70% carbohydrate)

0.8lb molasses (75% carbohydrate)

11 cups Teeccino brand Chaga Ashwagandha Butterscotch Cream Mushroom Herbal "Coffee"

2 shanghai yeast balls (rice wine starter )

I probably didn't need to add that 2nd yeast ball.

I got concerned when there were no bubbles after 12 hrs and then went out to see a movie and came back to a (thankfully minor) mess on my hands when some of it foamed out the top. It had settled back down by the time I got back. I only lost 120g of must.

I wanted to use a grain as my base to make something beer-like. I can't do anything with gluten, for medical reasons, so I picked oat flour as my main carbohydrate source after seeing Jesse from the Still It youtube channel make a vodka by fermenting rolled oats with a rice wine starter (he used Yellow Label Angel Yeast) and then distilling it in one of his videos.

For my secondary carbohydrate source, I found this unused bag of maca powder at the back of my pantry. I think I originally planned to use in a brownie recipe, because it has a butterscotch-like flavor to it that goes nicely with chocolate, but I hate baking so it just ended up just sitting on the shelf ages. It has a lower starch content than oat flour, which is why I didn’t want to use it as my primary carbohydrate source.

If the microorganisms in the rice wine starter can successfully saccharify all that starch, I should get about 2.2 lbs of fermentable sugar out of this.

The 1lb of molasses, which I plan to wait a couple weeks before adding, will contribute another 0.75lb of sugar, so ~3lbs fermentable sugar in total.

Of course fermentation can’t happen without water. Instead of plain water, I’m steeping herbal “coffee.” However many cups it takes to fill up my carboy. I’m using Teeccino “Chaga Ashwagandha Butterscotch Cream Mushroom Herbal Coffee.” I mostly chose that tea for the color. It has a mild sweet earthy flavor.

#home brewing #wine making #beer making #I think this technically qualifies as a beer #since it's made with grains as the primary source of fermentable sugar #No.112423

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crow-talks-hockey · 2 years ago

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end of season opinionated rankings of nhl teams

so i'm now completely settled into being a fan, ofc there's still more to learn about all teams, but it's nearing the end of the season so i wanted to do this again for funsies and give explanations this time :3

colorado avalanche- my family team, overall i love them the most and i'm the most attached to them idk why necessarily

pittsburgh penguins- oh boy did this team grow on me, mostly because of my good friend @beagss , i've learned to love them very dearly but i also have no clue how it happened lol

carolina hurricanes- this team is just fun and generally good, i'd be okay if they didn't make it too far unlike with the pens or the avs but it's still great seeing them succeed cos i really like the team and j think they're super underrated

seattle kraken- my family's secondary team+ they have burky so i can't not like them, and their vibe is immaculate too. i also have grown to like many of their players such as matty or geekie or mccann

minnesota wild- i like their players and they have flower, which is nice to see him on a team i generally like. i don't like them when it comes to being division rivals with the avs, but out of all teams in our division i like them the most and can tolerate them cos they're cool

calgary flames- they have good vibes honestly, idk about most the players but they have naz now so i have a soft spot for them. they're chill with me i guess :)

edmonton oilers- this one's weird because they're a team i'd say i love to hate when it comes to playing them, but i also want them to succeed?? like, i like their players and mcdavid and drai deserve a cup at this point tbh. they seem alright, very middle of the road as far as how i feel about them because it tends to shift day to day for me.

vancouver canucks- some people i follow like them a lot and they seem pretty cool, i want them to do well. i also like their players and overall i feel like they deserve to be treated better lol, they really got to me after the horvat trade and the bruce situation.

new jersey devils- i love so many players on this team ngl. it's nice to see them doing well this season given their less than great past. also my good mutual @toothlessdudebros is a big fan, so how could i possibly hate them?

buffalo sabres- another team i just want to do well, especially with the players they have. another huge reason? josty. that's it. just jost lol. (miss you king)

toronto maple leafs- oh you guessed it. i want them to make it past the first round, i feel bad at this point. they have a great group of guys that i've come to like quite a lot. as much as i like to poke fun at leafs fans, it does have to suck and i know the feeling

ottawa senators- they have a bright future i think, i like brady tkachuk and a few other guys there so i'm rooting for them a bit.

tampa bay lightning- another team i love to hate. i like their players, but playing against them is the worsttttt and it makes me wish florida would sink into the ocean forever lmao. you have to respect the back to back runs thiugh, definitely what i've looked to as a hopeful avs fan. there's some things that really annoy me about them, but i'm more lenient to say i'm okay with them than not.

arizona coyotes- idk about y'all tbh, i am aware of your existence but like are you really there??? if ykwim. i had some guys i liked there but they all got traded lol. most mid team ever, also what on earth is that arena???

washington capitals- you guys have some players i like, especially in kuemper (miss you) so you're alright. idk about ovi, also the old pens vs caps rivalry has made me less than lenient to be alright with y'all' lol. still have a legend there tho, so i gotta respect it a little bit.

new york islanders- bad cos of the rivalry(?) with the pens, but i like barzal and now beau is there so it's alright. some people i follow like them, so they're just okay

florida panthers- matthew tkachuk. that's the reason i like you. and i guess barkov is ok too. but honestly who *really* likes florida anyway? bring my boy ratthew back to calgary. please.

winnipeg jets- morrissey is cool? also jesse from bardown likes you guys and he's cool so you're alright with me. other than that? not much to say lol

anaheim ducks- should have kept the purple and teal jerseys smh. bring them back. do it. i dare you. other than that there isn't much to say since they've just been bad lol. i like zegras tho :))

columbus blue jackets- who the hell places an nhl team in ohio? i always forget you exist i'm not gonna lie. i'd be okay if you guys got bedard i guess???

san jose sharks- why are there three californian teams, it's worse than florida lmao ':] karlsson is your only redeeming factor.

chicago blackhawks- i... don't like y'all? idk the vibe just isn't right. being bad also just doesn't help the situation of me not liking you, sorry blackhawks fans. the avs have the superior toews anyway.

detroit red wings- old avs rivalry instinct says not to like y'all. larkin is the one redeeming thing, but being located in detroit might as well cancel it out

montreal canadiens- i know lots of people sympathize with you but.. idk i can't. i like lots of the players but, the vibe is so meh that i can't really bring myself to care :/

la kings- again, why three californian teams??? doughty and fiala are alright, but in the end i think i'm still salty over some avs and pens and canes losses lol

new york rangers- your fanbase gives off the complete wrong vibes for a team that hasn't won a cup in a hot minute. i know there's some good rangers fans out there, but man the view i have is so skewed from seeing bad fans. please prove me wrong. i like some players tho, if that's anything :>

dallas stars- weird. goofy. but in a bad way? idk how to feel about you guys... but i don't get the best vibes, also the avs and stars are division rivals and that doesn't help it at all lol

nashville predators- playoff hatred leftover from last year+ the duchene betrayal and karma *reassuring thumbs up* :)

boston bruins- shared family dislike. how are y'all so good? criminal. terrifying. gotta respect it... but i simply don't wanna <333 if it's anything's, i hate you less than i did at the start of the season.

philadelphia flyers- pennsylvania rivalry=bad. also youre vibes are just so.... off. i also am not a john tortorella fan

saint louis blues- i could write an ESSAY on why i despise y'all. the fanbase vibes are all off and your only redeeming quality is in kyrou but that is way overshadowed by how much i hate b*nnington with a burning passion.

las vegas golden knights- tbh idk why i hate y'all so much, i just do. i simply loathe y'all. always have, probably always will. sorry but not sorry

#colorado avalanche #pittsburgh penguins #carolina hurricanes #seattle kraken #nhl hockey #please remember this is all lighthearted!#not trying to offend anyone these are just my opinions lol #im not gonna judge anyone for disagreeing i was just bored and wanted to share since i did this earlier in the season too

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