#it's mostly chance oh well
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.oh yeah forgot to post these here
#ines's scribbles#sbkshipping#.uuuuuh fuck it maintagging it? since two of these WERE requested by ruby gemself and box JKGFDLG#skyblock kingdoms#.oh yeah yeah these are the reason why we searched up WHAT IS SHIPPING FANDOM in the first place <-doesnt do ship art usually and we wanted#.to research beforehand. ignore that we did that after drawing basically all of these#.something something we are too aro (and ace. but mostly aro) and points at these cubes. they aint really sexul nor romantic most of the#.time but a secret third thing (everything at once. how? drags a very clearly candy stick as if it's a cig. well you see)#.anythings possible if you are [insert any word in here] enough#.anyways LOVE GETTING THE CHANCE TO LEARN NEW THINGS. IT'S REALLY FUN!!!#.stopping here now before we ramble on#.these cubes have something going on and we're not sure what but good for them good for them
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HELLO THERE
My name is Emile, I'm a Proship selfshipper who loves drawing other people's Self Inserts above anything else and for this week and this week only I am opening $10 RUSH ORDER SKETCH COMMISSIONS!
Do you want a drawing of you and your F/O for cheap and don't mind it being a little rough? Consider DMing me and you could get something like This!
For the low low price of $10 a sketch!!!
And as a bonus!! If you end up liking your sketch and would like it lined, colored, or even fully rendered, you can DM me next week and I will happily slash the price of a full piece just for you!!!
From right this very second through Thursday night my DMs will be open to anyone interested! I only have Paypal to accept payment so please be aware of that!
Thankyou for your time!
#Emile's Arts#Proship Selfship#Proselfship#Selfship#self ship#self ship community#Commissions open#art commissions#TO PEOPLE WHO SEE ME TALK ABOUT COMMISSIONS WHEN I'M IN AN EMERGENCY DON'T WORRY#I'M FINE#I actually meant to make a post like this MUCH earlier this month#I'm getting a chance to go to my first ever In Person Pokemon event this weekend and I'd like to have some money to spend while there#But then me and my dad started going crazy renovating my brother's old room for when Zayne comes to visit next month#And it totally slipped my mind till we were buying the tickets tonight#SO#Rush order coms it is#Just sketches so I can get them done as fast as possible#Thankyou very much for reading and/or reblogging this post if you did it means a lot to me#Hopefully posting this at 3:30am isn't the worst decision I made but Eh#I'll just make another shorter post tomorrow if I must#Oh also second bonus;#When drawing a new character I tend to do warm-up personality and outfit sketches#They're mostly just for me but if you wanted to see those as well I'd post them with the commission sketch for an extra $5#but I feel silly advertising that because they really are For Me kinds of quickhand sketches so fkgjfkdg#If you read these tags and want those as well let me know!!#Thankyou very much again for reading!!!
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This just in from Ketterdam:
Local man is in shock to find that people (especially a woman) care about him.
#especially Inej specifically#the way he has to pause in disbelief#he really thought she’d disappear the first chance she got#this is mostly for Kanej but Jesper cares about him too#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#kanej#jesper fahey#six of crows#shadow and bone#shadow and bone netflix#shadow and bone season 2#grishaverse#crooked kingdom#these gifs are kinda ugly but oh well#don’t ask me why I used fancy font to make a meme#I was just feeling it#kazscrows
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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I need to reread the comics again to have specific arguments/evidence for this, but like
I feel a bit like I could've been sympathetic to the way other Cybertronian colonies view Cybertron, if it weren't for the fact that at least several of them (as in, ones that get notable dialogue/screen time) are so low-key self-righteous?
Like, idk... there's a lot of criticism of Cybertronians because they're so "warlike" and how their obsession with violence and vengeance is just dragging the whole galaxy down with them, but uh. The Autobot-Decepticon war was basically a product of societal ills bubbling over for like 6 million years beforehand and then finally boiling over into a 4 million year war that lasted as long as it did because the people involved had immense social/psychological trauma from being "raised" in an oppressive society.
So when the colonists come in being all 'omg you people are so violent and uncivilized why don't you just like, stop fighting' it kind of pissed me off a little bit as a reader/person like. Idk the colonists really came into this society of people full of massive amounts of trauma where even before the war society was super oppressive and no one has any experience of living "normal" lives unaffected by violence and bigotry. And the colonists were like "ummm wow why don't you guys just??? stop fighting???." Like idk it wasn't EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, in fact I think that when it was played for laughs it's quite a funny "fridge horror" type element. It was just annoying because like.... IDK???? It's just really annoying to watch a bunch of people who lived relatively sheltered lives on their own planets come to a different planet full of traumatized people and be like "omg why are you people so fucked up" IDK BRO MAYBE BECAUSE THEIR SOCIETY WAS OPPRESSIVE AND THEY LIVED THROUGH A LIFELONG WAR???
It also doesn't help that the colonies were literally founded based on imperialism and conquest so like, it's fucking rich to hear colonists scolding Cybertronians for their violence ruining the whole galaxy while literally sitting on planets that their Primes colonized from others. The hypocrisy of this is briefly mentioned in Unicron (literally the FINAL STORY OF THE SERIES) but like, that's basically the only time Cybertronian characters are given a reprieve of sympathy from other characters in universe and it's so tiresome.
I've talked to other people who didn't like the colonists and thought they basically (narratively speaking) existed just to shit on the existing characters, and it's actually really easy for me to sympathize with/outright agree with that assessment of the story considering how much of exRID/OP seems to be preoccupied with "Cybertron/the Primes/Optimus sucks" with very few reprieves for anything positive happening and even fewer chances for characters to get to explain themselves and experience a little bit of justice? Like, as the audience, it's just very frustrating to see the characters you spent hundreds of issues keeping up with get shit on by a bunch of "literally-who"s and then not really get a chance to ever defend themselves, either by literally defending themselves in conversation or having some sort of narrative thing happening that vindicates them at least symbolically
#squiggposting#paused work to muse about this which i prolly shouldn't have lol#oh well i'll still get stuff done#like idk an example of this is how pyra criticized OP for using religion to manipulate people#(lets just ignore how she said she would teach OP but never actually did)#but in the story there's never any sort of confrontation where pyra learns about history or talks with OP#and OP gets to be like. yeah on my planet primes fucking sucked and i'm the only one trying to redeem their image#also ive been fighting an endless war that lasted 4 mil years in which me being a shining figurehead was basically#the sole motivating force keeping my army from just collectively succumbing to endless despair#and i also had to use this shining figurehead image i had to keep the opposing army from genociding a bunch of organics#like not once does OP get to express his side of things he's basically just shit upon endlessly by other characters as he keeps doing plot#i feel like i had another example but i can't recall who/what was involved lmao#like idk it's not just that barber's writing is depressing and dark and edgy. i LIKE stories that do that kind of thing#it's just that it feels a bit as if the story is ENDLESSLY depressing and dark and edgy with almost no reprieve#as if it's mostly presenting the flaws of the characters with no chance for them to justify or redeem themselves#idk i feel like there was another better point/example i was gonna make but i can't remember it#like idk i guess a dark depressing story would've been better if the characters at least got to defend themselves#bc as is it basically feels like they (esp OP) get shit on endlessly and never once get to express anything about it#so like. they get shit on in universe. but also as the reader since there's never a contradicting viewpoint or the character defending them#it's as if you're supposed to take this one-sided criticism of them at face value and it just doesn't seem fair AS THE READER#if i read about OP getting shit on by some people and defended by others and also him expressing his opinion on himself#then that just feels like a normal fair narrative where i get to take sides#but if it's just OP being shit on and he hardly expresses much about it#then it feels like i as the reader am expected to agree with the portrayal being shown?#but in reality the portrayal just feels negative and unfair and one sided to me#and why the fuck do i want to read a story that's just the characters i know and like on an endless shame parade#also shout out to 'literally who' aka slide calling OP 'literally fascist' lmao#one of the most cringe moments of the entire comic. wait no. i can think of a more cringe Slide Moment#when unicron is about to destroy the planet and trypticon is getting shot and dying(?) in the background#and the story decides to pause and focus on Slide so she can monologue about how evil and tyrannical OP is
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Stream vods anon once again! I loved reading your analysis, since I'm rather new to Jack Manifold lore it was really enlightening. I found the vod on internet archive if you want to watch it again!
https://archive.org/details/2022-07-11-jack-manifold-tv-my-first-dream-smp-stream-in-2022-just-chilling-thou
oh my god stream vods anon i am so sorry i don't know how long it's been since you sent me this (i'm so bad about answering asks on time i'm so fucking sorry) but OH MY GOD,,
THE C!JACK BLOWING UP THE HOTEL STREAM??
THE "so he does care about the hotel, he just doesn't care about me." STREAM??
i didn't know if i'd be able to see this vod again.. i had no idea how i was going to search for it. and you just found it for me? oh my god thank you thank you thank you so fucking much you have no idea how much this means to me.
#jack manifold#this is mandatory viewing for all c!jack fans out there#THE stream ever#thank you so much for this stream vods anon holy shit#media preservation#<- new tag so i can include everything i find now onto the dream smp journey masterpost whenever i finally get a chance to update it#i hope someone's used it. if not- oh well. it was mostly for me and my friends at first anyway#dream smp#mcyt#questioned quartz#anon#pebble post
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I'm gonna say it, when I watched Fionna and Cake with a friend, Simon and Betty made me think of Halmanpoole/Discoverycule so hard that I remember going multiple times in the vc "oh no... You're right this is so them :c"
#thinking about them rn so hard...#they make me so emo I doubt ill ever br able to explain it properly#do u think frank ever felt guilt for halmans sacrifice past 3001? probably; maybe; he did hold to them until last min#not only halman tbh; i wonder if when dim died frank had a 'why was i given another chance in life when he will never get one' moment#that one as well... mostly bc kts never explored how he felt about what happened#at least with halman we do get to see his reaction and such#with dim its just 'oh yeah indra and frank speedrun getting married having kids and having a divorce and oh yeah dim is dead. anyway'#AND ABOUT SIMON AND BETTY#i was watching some animatics with some of their lines#and i remembered some of the parts; like how simon stood by and let her get sacrificed and such reminded me of halmanpoole
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cuz i Don't need it to be detailed or very realistic with my worldbuilding! because L. ron hubbard existed at some point and
#just me hi#a post that does actually have a slight chance of putting me in some small danger Lmfshvhjgh#i have a minor interest in. the ology of science (m not gonna tag it Lmao) and i like to rotate my smaller interests almost on a#monthly schedule so hfbsh#/anyway reeeeed n i get into some debates about what makes 'sense' in my worldbuilding and what doesn't#which is mostly very helpful and making the stuff up in the moment is a greater part of how i function hfbshv#but it Does also put my brain onto overthinking the whole thing like. what specific type of element do generators run off of i NEED to#know [<- this is simply not true]#and like i Could sink a lot of time into figuring out how exactly different towns + cities economies function but am i the one to do all#that? i should hope not!! i'm just the 'has too many thoughts' guy. we need a different guy for the money stuff pfshvh#and it doesn't reaaaaaaaaally matter. in my heart anyway#//anywhoodle doo it's gonna be 1 soon and i am still working on a background to this piece#i have/had a vague idea of a city but i could not figure out how to translate it into an actual static image so i'm substituting. and i am#Displeased about it !! it is not turning out very well bfhsv :'3#i Really Really wanna learn to do backgrounds well. sighs wistfully#somewhere.. beyond the sea... she's (well-made backgrounds) there waitin for me (to practice)..... my lover stands on gol-#Oh bedtime alarm number 3 just went off khfsvjfsd#iiii should.. uumm...#OH wait wait wait we can pause on the drawing for a second i think i'm chilled out enough to start writing again Loll :D#yippee!! woohoo!!!#rule though. bedtime at 2. i can Not stay up til 3 writing like i usually do that's just ridiculous#//anyway yea goodnight happy halloween y feliz dia de los muertos n toodles ^w^
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Feel like at this point I should just move her to main muse instead of test / request / plotted only.
Her muse is high anyway and I do like the concept they did with her in the finale and would like to expand on it mainly because I am salty how dirty this show has done her.
She will obviously still remain strictly plotted only because I don't like throwing her towards others unless it's talked about (pre caution on my part bc again, dislike how the show treated her and unless it is someone in my inner circle i am not really fond of throwing her at folks)
#ooc#i keep thinking about her and how she is literally just the shows punching bag#idk i know it was said the creator doesn't seem to like her so I got the feeling they only brought her back#because oh people like her? we can profit from her merch! :D#and they did admit that after the pilot the show was rewritten#but like.#again.#it worked in the pilot between Uzi and J because J was actively engaging and her overconfidence was her downfall#and she got killed out of pettiness when she was willing to do an allyship#afterwards?#its just so one sided and the 'joke' has become extremely stale#the fight between V and J? It works#it's a messed up of 'blame the messanger' scenario#V was angry and scared and had no idea what's going on#the fight between Uzi / J and Cyn???#what was the point other than make J the punching bag of it#the fight works well without J because the J parts are not even funny and it's just extremely annoying at this point#literally they did not even give J a chance to grow and just decided that using her as a punching bag would be hilarious#and she genuinely does not get it because from her perspective#V and N betrayed her#plus they mostly won bc plot armor / luck anyway#and they keep doing it with her in the merch ads and its just.#its just so stale okay#much as i would love that J figure and plush#i cannot bring myself to give a single cent to that show with how they treat her#like. J is a bad leader and does get physical but once again.#she was just as much of a victim of cyn as everyone else
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FINALLY FREEEEEE (and don't know shit about that sepang test)
#fucked up most of my exams but its all in the past oh well#actually my practical skills exam should be on the 14th but they pushed it earlier to today#and since the ticket is expensive af due to the cny and i cant change it so im stuck here until 14 :/#could have a chance to meet the motogp guys at the airport if i were to go home today or tomorrowtho but oh well#im so out of touch of everything except for pictures of the livery presentation ive been really busy#that and also i fell back to my tvxq phase particularly my jaejoong phase because hes my first love and first love never dies lol#but yeah mostly because ive been so busy with practicum and frying my brain cramming for my exam just to struggle in the end#got a whole of shit to catch up on like i saw about franky and raul mising the test and lewis to ferrari#but i just saw alfa romeo now gone and guanyu and valtteri in fucking green and i was so speechless like wtf#and alpha tauri now has ugly ass name too and so much huh???#yeah in conclusion im so out of loop lol#personal.txt
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Kaeya and Rethel both have a favorite method to ward off any potential suitors, and it’s dueling.
#hc; kaeya#hc; rethel#//Wanted or unwanted; it’s the same for the most part. They won’t tend to accept any suitor who can’t best them in a duel#//Rethel in particular favored this after many started approaching her father for her hand; & he suggested she consider them for self-gain#//Still; she stubbornly demanded only those worthy enough to best her can have her; no gifts or sweet poems could sway her otherwise#//Other family members begged her to reconsider; but Anfortas agreed w her bc she claimed it was to ensure their line continued Strong#//Only the BEST for the Alberichs. @ the rate she was going tho; she was likely to end up a spinster. Not that she or Anfortas saw any issu#//Kae does this; bc he got spooked to hell and back bc a slew of marriage offers after Crepus’ death#//Bc folks claimed he ‘needed’ support after everything that happened; esp considering Crepus was slandered. That it would ‘BENEFIT’ him to#//Bc Luc wasn’t there to help get them off his back nor to actively secure of Luc’s hold as the Ragnvindr head for himself#//Some people assumed Kae would be it and made their move to take advantage. which Kae DETESTED for many reasons#//The biggest ones being ‘how DARE they assume HE is the new head of the family now that Diluc’s gone’#//And ‘Oh stars; oh fucking he’ll; he does NOT need this; HE of all people does NOT need nor deserve to be married; oh fucking SHIT-‘#//But yeah#//Both trained quite rigorously to ensure their independence; not ONE person has bested them since#//Esp since they both will pull out all the stops to ensure it; even playing dirty when need be#//Kae is more lax abt this tho—there’s a higher chance of him making an exception if he likes the other enough. & they are ‘safe’ enough#//Of the other muses; Xianyun; Beidou; and Dehya DEFINITELY do this to be done with unwanted suitors; Period. Xian; mostly to test ppl#//Idarias used to as well; but that was before the karmic debt made her more inclined to just try & kill anyone she comes across#//Xian & Ei would follow Kae & Rethel; in terms of dealing with suitors/testing if worthy. In Ei’s case; she’s too focused crushing on Miko#//Sb who CAN beat her can change her mind; or at least if they put up a good enough fight; they can shift her attention onto them#//Taru; honestly the fight is a prerequisite just to get his favor/attention at ALL#//Will NOT be willing to get genuinely close with much less accepting/choosing to court ANYONE unless they can manage to hold their own#hc; cloud retainer#hc; beidou#hc; dehya#hc; indarias#hc; ei#hc; tartaglia
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the poll for how to arrange the brackets just finished with proceeding as originally planned winning!
so, without further ado, here are the lineups ^^
note :: songs with a * next to them may require a content warning. i'll provide specific warnings as soon as i have the time, but as of now please proceed with caution
main matchup bracket ::
alice of human sacrifice* by yugami p / fear garden* by chaa
magnet by minato p / romeo and cinderella by doriko
world is mine by ryo / world's end dancehall by wowaka
triple baka by lamaze p / the disappearance of hatsune miku by cosmo p
meltdown by iroha(sasaki) / luka luka★night fever by samfree
fire◎flower by halyosy / trick and treat by oster project
daughter of evil by mothy / dancing★samurai by kanimiso p
rolling girl by wowaka / matryoshka by hachi
madness of duke venomania* by mothy / alluring secret ~black vow~ by hitoshizuku x yama
senbonzakura by kurousa / outer science by jin
doubleganger by kulfiq / mikusabbath by utsu p
jinsei reset button by kemu / common world domination by pinnochio p
the fox's wedding* by masa works design / tokio funka by takamatt
heat haze days by jin / patchwork staccato by toa
six trillion years and an overnight story by kemu / lost one's weeping by neru
aishite aishite aishite by kikuo / echo by crusher p
setsuna drive by taki yoshimitsu / yoake to hotatu by n buna
a fake fake psychotropic by kairiki bear / therefore you and me by tadanoco
my r* by kurage p / i'm glad youre evil too by pinnochio p
chururira chururira dadada by kurage p / mkdr by deco*27
blessed messiah and the tower of ai by hitoshizuku x yama / 86 by dasu
law evading rock by neru / nakakapagpabagabag by dasu
sand planet by hachi / ghost rule by deco*27
monster by kira / hated by life itself by iori kanzaki
cause i'm a liar by mcki robyns p / honey i'm home by ghost
hole dwelling by kikuo / bring it on by giga
meteor by divela / seraphim on the ring by mitchie m
the court jester by thquib / casino by azari
king by kanaria / villain by teniwoha
lower by lanndo / phony by tsumiki
higanbana milk tea by vane / scapegoat by ghost
queen by kanaria / bug by kairiki bear
honorable mention bracket ::
electric angel by yasuo p (original), giga (giga arrange) / freely tomorrow by mitchie m
po pi po by lamaze p / go google it by wintermint p
black★rock shooter by ryo / bacterial contamination by kanimiso p
i like you, i love you by gevanni p / first love academy • school of true love by nem
(also a quick general note ! i don't have everything ready for a formal polished reveal at the time of posting this. i plan on updating this post with links to the songs and also a visual bracket when i have the time. they'll definitely be up soon, so make sure to check back in a bit for them ^^
i'll also make sure that reblogs are turned on for the final version!)
#vocaloid song showdown#sorry it's just a list for now i promise i'll update it and make it look nicer as soon as i get the chance :'D#i'll also add the playlists to the final post so those will finally be out soon too !#but for now it's just a quick little post to get the matchups out sooner rather than later since this is already kinda behind schedule :')#anyway it's still kinda bonkers to me that only one person nominated po pi po and electric angel#those songs used to be Everywhere it felt like#and unless i continually missed it no one sent in llevan polka :(#(to be fair itnisn't originally a vocaloid song. idk if i could fully qualify it bc of that but still shocked that it got no nominations)#oh also ! until i have the image finalized if anyone thinks any matchups should be tweaked at all feel free to lmk !#i was mostly judging popularity based on nominations and view count (reprints included) but it was hard to tell for some ???#like i remember a whole bunch of reprint channels getting deleted or privating all their videos and i'm sure that impacted some view counts#and rolling girl in particular has a lot less views than i thought it would ???#it's not a small amount by any means but it also seems to be on the higher side of the average for the final bracket songs#it was also unsurprisingly the most nominated song#so some of the matchups were a bit weird and wonky to put together fhdkfh#(especially echo actually too ? it got 2 nominations and barely made it but has the highest view count out of all the songs last i checked)#anyway all that to say if anyone wants to give feedback on the bracket pairings i'm open to it until i get the formal version up ( ^^)b#additionally if i missed any songs that should have some sort of warning please let me know fhdkdh#i added them only off the top of my head so i might've missed one#(the final version of this will have more specific warnings too. potential flash warnings as well)#EDIT :: changed up within 24 hours to up soon#i wish i could've had everything together within 24 hours but things came up and i need just a little more time :(#but i wanna get started on voting monday (february 27) for real this time ! no more putting it off :'D
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Yknow what makes me reaentful? How ive been sexually abused so much growing up, no one did shit besides shove me off to a therapist, ive been promised by feminist spaces that ill have a place to heal within them, and as soon as my abusive ex tries to smear me and project their behavior on to me by accusing me of doing that shit too, all the sudden everyone acts suspicious, and i still dont get any of that promised healing. Its hard not to feel like my ex did this intentionally to prevent me from having a space to heal. And its my issue with the "believe victims" narrative because it seems to me like people dont actually want to believe victims but to believe the victims they *like* and *agree more with politically*. If people can just say whatever about someone and you feel obligated to believe them because "believe victims", its very clearly going to be exploited by abusive people, and while i dont think we should stop per se, we need to have some sort of actual system to vet who is and isnt telling the truth, like a pseudo-courtroom. At the very least let everyone and their side of the story actually be heard. Bc idk how you guys plan to believe two victims at once who are accusing eachother other than throwing your hands up and picking one or deciding that we're both bad, which doesnt seem very fair to me since people seem to looove demonizing me for no discernable reason.
#anyways ive lost faith in feminist spaces in actually being a place to heal#it kinda just feels like cliques to me dawg.#maybe it used to be sorta healing but i never actually got to find a support system or anything anywhere.#like idk man. maybe the reason ppl go to the right is bc yall are cutthroat and do everything based on vibes.#if i cant even get help and healing from yall like you promise whats the feminism label even for besides for spreading awareness?#because i feel like ill always be excluded because i dont fit the recquired aesthetic.#there needs to be a space for dudes to go to heal too. and id ideally not have to go to one of the mra type spaces.#idk but im just disenchanted with this whole movement. so many unfulfilled promises.#too many terfs infiltrating it also.#im left out in the cold and no one cares and everyone pretends to care about victims but cant even bring themselves to image that i#was the one who was victimized. why should i rely on these spaces at all. its clear yall favor the more fem person in any situation#like this.#also unrelated but related this website is trash and most people on here suck so fucking much.#the mostly cliquey cutthroat spaces for being so 'caring' like you like to think yourselves as.#'oh well we have to be careful so just in case we're gonna kick you out!!' oh really#is that the feminism you were talking about?#youll leave me out on the streets based on a rumor? and if you find out theyre lying then what will you do? are you gonna come over to me#weeping about how you shouldnt have believed them and how sorry you are? bc chances are ill already be dead from starving#but yknow. believe whatever anyone says about someone else. sorry i meant victims*#itd be so so funny to me if someone came up to me with that justification for why they ostracized me and then be like 'how can you be mad!#i didnt know better!! you cant be mad at people for not knowing better >:(' the hell i fucking cant lmao!#yall perpetuated a narrative about me to actively grind my name in the dirt. and im not allowed to be mad?#yall ostracized and excluded me from spaces i need to rely on for community and healing.#yall did nothing for me and threw me in the fucking trash. yeah. i think im allowed to be upset with you and want you to go fuck yourself.#if you believed them and found out theyre a liar. cool. leave me the fuck alone though. go make a post about it and try to rectify the#situation you contributed to you pos.#yknow. maybe itd be one thing if you believed them and i didnt do anything and you apologized.#its a WHOLE OTHER FUCKING THING. WHEN YOU BELIEVE THEM. IM INNOCENT. AND *IM*THE ONE WHO WAS#SEXUALLY ABUSED AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED TO THE FUCKING MOON AND BACK. and then think an apology is enough.#like go fuck yourself. ive been alone with this trauma this whole time you pieces of shits.
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I FUCKING WALKED 6.5 MILES IN ONE GO TODAY
#mud rambles#I'm still catsitting lmfao and because my tire AND rim is fucked and it's sunday i do not have a car!!!!#and i can't leave those cats unfed for an entire day!!!!#I was able to get a ride home but i wouldnt have been able to get a ride there in time and i was already not there as early as i wouldve lik#on the bright side. she is supposed to be home tmrw so i shouldnt have to do that again EL OH EL#i give credit mostly to the testosterone and my naturally large calves for being able 2 do that because.#this is not a normal thing i do. i dont work out consistently at all#im. like. it sucked i had to do that but also the fact i was able to makes me rlly proud#and getting to be outside and just walk was nice especially once i caught that second wind LMFAO#having to wait for. like two hours to be picked up kinda sucked but it was peaceful. it was just too cold and getting dark so i couldnt walk#all the way back home safely because the walk is. already not fucking safe lmfao and i was wearing ALL BLACK#yeah. not fucking chancing it#i had sidewalk literally for like. 300 FEET. MAYBE#like. I live in the fucking rural ass northeastern part of the appalachian mountains. we have main routes but it's still assfuck nowhere#i am not walking 6 and a half miles IN THE FUCKING DARK especially when we're in the middle of a warm front#we have coyotes and bears and while mountain lions arent typically in my area... it would be my fucking luck to get fucking murked by one#and like. deer may not be predators but. nepa. rural areas. NIGHT??? I am not chancing coming across something ELSE. ifykyk#anyway. i am home now. all is well. but goddamn i am having an eventful ass start to the fucking year huh
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Noooo through reading a fanfic I was forced to reevaluate a relationship in the one I'm writing and now I'm just seeing so many more parallels between those 2 characters and fuck im already putting so many characters together and now there's ANOTHER ONE
#Nooo their relationship was supposed to be humeru and light and now it's got ANGST 😭#I just wanted them to have a funny little fight and now they're gonna be bonding about cooking & taking care about everyone#And also about feeling like a monster and a weapon deep down with no chance at/right for redemption fuuuuck#Like im also keeping the fight but still#Oh god why must I love crossovers so much and why must I also be able to see so much potential in so many relationships#At least this time it's still not adding to the ever growing chaos of all the non platonic relationships#The biggest problems im having with this crossover is 1. World building bc for some reason I decided that I need to bring game mechanics#Into it as well no now I'm just making up skills and talents and stuff for the Leverage crew as well even tho it will have little to no#Impact on the story#And 2. keeping track of all the fkn relationships and character connections and all that stuff#I have a fkn sociogram for a fanfic thats really mostly just notes and half written scenes but I have a detailed sociogram like what#Honestly im probably never gonna fully write anything of it but I'm having a lot of fun with all my little notes and stuff#Just pure self indulgence#Is there even an audience for a genshin impact leverage crossover? Well I'm here so yes 😌#And my sister knows of both so she's getting dragged into me rambling if she wants to or not
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my mom is so funny like how else does she expect me to react when im telling her smth just for her to see and all she comments is stuff like "good thing im not going there"
#i was showing her tokyo's metro lines and she said 'good thing im not going there'#and of course i reacted negatively because lmao nothing i ever show you that is interesting to _me_ is well received#like. oh i wanna travel to japan? 'i don't ever want to go to japan' oh i'm saying one of my goals of learning japanese 'i'm busy doing#smth else' like. honestly how else do u expect me to react#and mostly bc when i say one of the places i'd like to move is japan she always takes it as a chance to be racist and say#'i won't visit you there' like. okay. not my problem#and then why i dont ever say what i got or the stuff im into like how do u expect me to!!!!!#no nd the thing 'i cant tell u anything bc u act as if it were an attack' im sorry but the person who takes everything as an attack is YOU#i rlly cant say shit to u bc u think im being mean or im attacking u and u put the blame on ME???#when im just showing u smth i wanted u to see so u know what im talking about???#the longer i live here the more im starting to resent her#jo.txt
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