#it's literally not working because Everyone Is Ignoring Me :)))

[melodyreads]

Hamzah x Manager(Reader)

Summary: Y/n is the manager for Slushy Noobz. She loves being apart of such an entertaining team. Being the manager came with a lot of responsibility. However, she was finding it hard to stay professional when Hamzah was around.

a/n: i hope this concept reaches the corporate baddies, enjoy <3

—-

The room buzzed with focused energy as everyone prepped for Hamzah and Martin’s big boxing match. Y/n stood at the edge of the practice room, clipboard in hand, eyes fixed on the monitor as she tracked every play with precision. Managing Slushy Noobz with their growing and dedicated fanbase was both a privilege and a challenge—one of those challenges being the guy currently making a beeline straight for her.

Hamzah.

She exhaled sharply, looking away and pretending to be engrossed in her notes. Maybe if she ignored him, he’d go bother someone else.

No such luck.

“You look stressed,” Hamzah said as he stopped next to her, hands shoved into his hoodie pockets. “That’s probably because you know the viewers are gonna be bored after I sweep this match.”

Y/n sighed, giving him a side glance. “Or because I know you and Martin are going to be running around bald soon," you said shaking your head, "there goes your TikTok edits.

Hamzah smirked. “That too.”

She had to bite back a smile. “You’re ridiculous.”

He leaned slightly against the desk, glancing at her clipboard. “You actually writing useful stuff, or just pretending to look busy so no one bothers you?”

She huffed. “I don’t pretend to work—I actually do my job.”

He knew this, he just liked to push your buttons.

“Good for you.” He nodded approvingly. “That’s one of us.”

Y/n finally looking up at him. “You’re impossible.”

Hamzah grinned, then tilted his head slightly. “By the way, you've been acting real serious whenever I’m around recently. What’s up with that?”

He was onto her. This wasn't entirely untrue, Y/n had slowly started avoiding Hamzah as her feelings became harder to ignore. This made her feel slightly guilty, but it was the measures she had to take to keep her job.

“Because I have responsibilities?” she shot back while keeping her eyes fixated on the computer in front of her.

He made a face. “Yeah, yeah. Or maybe you just don’t know how to act around me.”

Your eyes finally met his as your mouth opened—then closed. He said it so casually like he was commenting on the weather.

"He's just joking", you told yourself

His dark humourous eyes bore into yours as he patiently waited for a response. Before she could formulate a response, Martin called out, “Yo, Y/n! Can you come over here for a sec!”

Y/n took the escape without hesitation. “Duty calls,” she muttered, turning on her heel.

Hamzah watched her get up before he called after her. “Miss you already!”

As she ignored him, she couldn't help but replay that last comment over and over again in her head.

"Or maybe you just don’t know how to act around me."

She didn’t need to dignify that with a response. Mostly because he wasn’t wrong.

---

That evening, you were finishing up an email to a potential sponsor. (There were hundreds of them.) Y/n had just clicked send when Hamzah dropped into the seat next to her.

“So,” he said, resting his elbow on the table. “You avoid me all day just to end up being the last one here. Interesting.”

She groaned. “I did not avoid you.”

“You literally left mid-conversation.”

“Because I had work to do!”

He took a slow sip of his protein shake, eyeing her over the rim. “Uh-huh.”

She scowled. “Not everything is about you, Hamzah.”

“Big talk, considering I’m basically the headliner of this team.”

Y/n let out an exasperated laugh. “You’re insufferable.”

He grinned. “And yet, your working for me.”

She rolled her eyes, focusing on her computer, but Hamzah’s voice cut through again—quieter this time.

“For real, though,” he said, “I mess with you a lot, but you know I actually mean it when I say you’re good at what you do, right?”

Y/n blinked, caught off guard by the sincerity. “…Thanks?”

“Don’t get weird about it.” He went back to scrolling on his phone like he hadn’t just said something out of character.

She shook her head, smiling despite herself.

Hamzah might be blunt. He might be insufferable.

But damn it, he was also kind of impossible to ignore.

---

a/n: part two?

[anakinstwinklebunny]

hear me out---- pregnant reader with sam, and they're in his bed, literally just spending the whole night talking and softly/lazily making out, and sam rubbing her tummy and just being so happy 😭😭🥲🥹

PAIRING: sam monroe x pregnant!reader

FLUFF ❦

As you shifted on the bed, the old mattress creaked beneath your weight. Ignoring it, you simply curled up closer to Sam's warm body. Your boyfriend's room was currently in the middle of being a pure darkness, except for the soft dim glow of the street lamp that filtered through one of the windows, giving a light over the mess of tangled blankets and your bare skins.

His hand rested on your belly, fingers splayed out like he was trying to feel every tiny, little movement, every bigger or smaller sign of life. You weren’t even that far along yet, just enough to start showing, but Sam had this new quiet obsession, he'd not admit to, with touching your stomach. Like he still couldn’t believe there was a tiny little person in there - his kid - growing day by day before his eyes.

You smiled, bringing your hand up to trace your fingertips over the sharp curve of his jaw. “You’re staring.. again.”

Sam huffed a quiet laugh, thumb brushing idly over the soft skin of your belly. “Yeah, well… can you blame me?” voice all low and sleepy, like he was drifting in and out of consciousness, yet still stubbornly fighting sleep because he wanted to talk to you...or makeout..both things were considerable

“I mean, look at you,” he continued, lips curving against yours as he leaned in, pressing the softest, laziest kiss to your mouth. “Carrying my kid and still looking like the prettiest damn thing in the world. Kinda unfair if you ask me.”

Your fingers carded through his hair, nails lightly scratching his scalp as he hummed contentedly. “You’re so corny,” you teased quietly

“Yeah, yeah.” Sam’s lips found yours again, kisses slow like he had all the time in the world to just love you.

Then Sam pulled back slightly, nudging his nose against yours. “What do you think they’ll be like?” he murmured.

Your fingers played with the strands of hair at the nape of his neck. “Who?”

“Our kid, obviously.” hand pressing a little firmer against your lower belly. “You think they’ll look more like me or you?”

“I hope they get your eyes.”

Sam huffed. “I hope they get your smile.”

You thought for a second. “I really hope they don’t get your temper.”

Sam snorted, playfully biting at your lower lip before pulling away. “Hey, I’m a changed man.”

You gave him a look. “Sam.”

“…Okay, a man working on it.” He smirked before his face softened again. “But seriously. I just—” He exhaled, like he was trying to piece together the thoughts swirling, twirling and twisting in his head. “I just want them to have a good life, y’know? Not—” He paused, swallowing. “Not like mine was.”

You cupped his face, rubbing your thumb gently over the cheekbone. “They will, Sammy.” Your voice quiet, trying to avoid waking everyone up “They'll have us, our families..all the love you've learned about in that book your mom gave you"

Sam rolled his eyes before staring at you for a long moment. He ducked his head, pressing his face into the crock of your neck. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you as close as he could without also crushing you. “God, I love you,” he mumbled, voice muffled against your skin.

TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @haydensprettyprincess @skyguys-princess @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @literally-izzy-deactivated20250 @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet @ysrjune @anakinskwkler @bimbo-baggins17-deactivated2025 @cookybananas @emotionallybruisedx @diorvalentina @sevinax @throughparisallthroughrome @aniiuv @ritosparty @ninastyless @lily-strnlo @thesassypadawan @awhhayden @sydkneez @anisangeldust @l1ttle-misssunsh1ne @anakinca @rubiesarepretty @luluartpop @cloverina @nikiloveshayden

[that-hazbin]

Media Demon AU

Charlie-in-disguise manages to bring up the hotel before Alastor manages to go there (let's ignore the fact that he would instantly drop everything and RUN there as fast as the radio waves can take him, like the little tsundere fangirl he is) to gauge if he even knows about it and what does he think because he's practically running hell and if for whatever reason he doesn't like it we're doomed

he's practically vibrating with excitement because IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING HE WAITED SO LONG so he can't help himself but have a happy yapping session and Charlie is also SO HAPPY because THE MEDIA DEMON believes in her cause, this is just the encouragement she needed, she can do it

and then he finally goes to the hotel, puts on the scary overlord act of course, he can't have these people thinking he likes them, oh no no no

and someone asks him if he believes in redemption and he tsundere does the 'Oh no, that's preposterous, demons are evil' much to Charlie's confusion because

1. nuh uh

2. he literally just told her otherwise

but she knows him so she quickly realizes what's happening and oh my dad, look at this dumbass pretending he doesn't like them, and she can't stop her face from smiling, and soon - to everyone's confusion - she's laughing

she does try to play along 'Oh no, you really don't believe in redemption? So why are you here?' but she's still giggling and she ends up saying 'that's not what you told me earlier' and he finally connects the dots and how did he not realize this sooner but also he's mad

'YOU two-faced, lying little ****, all those years...'

he's not serious of course, she knows it and still failing to stifle her laughter she hugs him and he gives in and hugs her back cutie babies

(and maybe he finally tells them he was yeeted into the past but this ask is way too long)

🥺 HE'S SOOOO HAPPY!!! He missed the hotel and all its shenanigans and now it's BACK, and he has to play this PERFECTLY so that everything goes EXACTLY THE SAME AS LAST TIME— except whoopsies, uh oh, sorry Alastor, you already sorta fucked that up quite a while ago. You really should have guessed your plan wouldn't have worked out anyways, you've ENTIRELY changed the future at this point, it was never going to go as planned sweetie.

Charlie being unable to hold it together is so cute. She KNOWS he's pulling shit out of his ass right now and she just can't take him seriously. He's a tsundere, oh lord, she NEVER KNEW he was a tsundere! Nifty was RIGHT!

They make such a cute picture and Alastor will be SO huffy (but also high-key proud of his sorta-daughter) about being tricked for YEARS. He's going to hug her but he's also going to be pouting and complaining while subtly complimenting her subterfuge. She's just a giggly mess about the whole thing.

[amalthea-13]

Stolas, Mastermind, and Religious Symbolism + Classism Conversation

Hello Again Everyone! I'm Amalthea, the obsessed Stolas kinnie who has to much religious trauma so I cope with this demonic show!!!!

Now lets get into Stolas and religious symbolism, because many of you Stolas Haters seem to not understand WHY what Stolas did was so important and profound.

Now before anyone tries to disqualify me from this conversation, the Christian faith has been big in my family for roughly the last 6 years and is something I am sadly to familiar with. It's traumatized me in many ways, but gives me a lot of insight.

Moving on, Stolas's entire moment in Mastermind was meant to mirror the sacrifice on the cross. Plain and simply, Stolas took a punishment he didn't deserve for someone who was technically "beneath him".

When it comes to the biblical story of The Cross, he took a punishment he did not deserve, a god humbling themself down to the status of their creation, living a good life as a pure sacrifice, and taking on the punishment of the created. A punishment he did not deserve nor merit. He was blameless.

Stolas humbled himself in Mastermind by willingly getting on his knees, put his head on the chopping block, and was willing to take the punishment of an imp. This type of willful sacrifice is unheard of. Stolas was willing to do it without a second thought, sacrificing everything for someone we would note as "unworthy".

A lot of people still like to insist Stolas is classist in season 2, but in my opinion, many of his behaviors change from season 1 to season 2, but if none of that proves it for you.

If Stolas truly looked down on Blitz, why even go to the trial? It's not like he owed it to Blitz. The man is a Prince. Blitz broke into his home and stole from him, taking advantage of his vulnerability and love? I mean- who wouldn't let him burn?

Stolas wouldn't let him burn. Despite everything, the hurt, the pain, the ridicule?

Stolas got on his knees

a ROYAL

kneeled

got on his knees humbly

without question or asking for special treatment,

to take Blitz's punishment, an imp's punishment.

I want to emphasize that he DID NOT HAVE TO DO THIS. He owed Blitz NOTHING at this point. Stolas in the eyes of the law was completely blameless. He was painted to be an innocent lamb by Andrelphus.

Therefore, Stolas's sacrifice was humble. He stooped to the place of a commoner without question and was willing without question to take Blitz's place even if it meant his life.

What is emphasized a lot in the Christian faith is that humans are not worthy of what was done on the cross. That the gift that was extended to them as sinners was not earned by anything other than the sacrifice made.

Blitz did not deserve Stolas's grace, just like humanity did not deserve the sacrifice made for their salvation.

Blitz didn't deserve to be pardoned, the man was guilty, but Stolas willingly took the judgement and punishment that was not his to take. The same way what happened at the cross was unearned and was a willing sacrifice by a deity humbling themself to a created human body to pave the way for salvation.

Blitz above everyone else understands the sacrifice that was made. Even if Stolas was not executed, he was fully willing to go the full entire mile without question.

Again, the fact a royal, a prince of all things, got on his knees to give his life in an imp's place is important. Thus, it's why I get mad when people say Stolas is "classist", specifically in season 2.

More than anything he has slip ups where he can come off as ignorant (i.e. being disgusted at working holidays, crying out he is poor), but Stolas has his good moments too, pointing out to the woman who was complaining about IMP taking to long to finish the hit that their job is hard and he can only imagine how difficult it is.

He gets shit on left and right, but never complains despite people literally spitting in his food or giving him dirty looks. If the man truly, genuinely, believed any of this was beneath him he would have been complained a long, long time ago.

Can he be ignorant? Sure, but he makes up for it by being understanding of how hard Blitz's occupation can be and not letting a customer talk shit about him or bad mouth him when Blitz isn't even in the room to witness it.

Stolas in a sense is mirroring the story of the cross, he is now at the same status as an imp because well he took on the judgement of one and therefore is willing to put himself through whatever it took to protect Blitz.

Even when that meant stooping to his knees without a second thought.

The way this episode was written could not be a mistake, especially since Brandon Rogers himself in interviews has said Vivzie takes biblical mythology very seriously.

This imagery and dichotomy was set up on purpose, so you, the viewer, can see that Stolas was not just- giving up his life.

He gave up everything for someone "beneath him". He sacrificed all of it without question, even when it hurt, even when his mental health plummeted, even when it did not benefit him.

He got on his knees, taking a punishment that by the law he did not deserve, for someone who by law was guilty.

Stolas allowed Blitz to be pardoned. He put himself in the crossfire so he could walk away free.

Not even asking for anything in return.

Stolas has trauma related to death. He knew what he was risking by taking on this sacrifice, but he did it WITHOUT QUESTION.

He didn't ask to be pardoned.

He didn't use his power or status.

He painted himself out to be the bad guy to free Blitz of any punishment.

Blitz tried to stop him not just because he loved Stolas, but he knew Stolas didn't deserve it. Blitz himself knew he did not deserve to be pardoned.

That Stolas didn't need to humble himself for a measly imp. An imp that has broken his heart over and over.

Despite everything, it's still you.

Despite the pain, hurt, and trauma Blitz has caused Stolas, it was still Blitz. He could not let him die. He could not allow him to be put to death. Not when Stolas knew he had the power, status, and influence to take Blitz's place and keep him safe.

He didn't have to stoop this low on the social ladder.

Many argue that Stolas just thought he "didn't have to live with the consequences", but that's also not true. Stolas was prepared for whatever came at him. He knew either way he was going to be punished somehow. The sacrifice ended up not being his life, but he still did it anyway.

He doesn't complain, nor does he ask for death or beg to be offed. He willingly takes the punishment.

The only time Stolas remotely regrets his decision is because of one thing.

Octavia. She is the only thing he regrets leaving behind. Not his status, not his wealth, just his daughter.

That is the only thing Stolas regrets because that girl was the only good thing that came out of his marriage, he said so himself.

He gave up the only thing he truly ever cared about, and that of all things he should have some right to be hurt over and cry about. He has every right to be frustrated or even a bit confused, even if it comes off as ignorant. The man lost everything and had his life altered without so much as a moment of breathing room.

In conclusion, I mostly wanted to bring up the religious imagery to explain to you, the reader, why it was such a profound and important sacrifice. Not only did it break the social barriers, fuck all that,

Stolas kneeled and humbled himself when he didn't need to. That's the point you need to take away from this. He humbled himself even before he got his sentence and was exiled. The minute he saw Blitz's head on that chopping block, he was willing, without a second thought or doubt, to sacrifice everything for him.

A punishment that he didn't deserve nor merit. A pardon that Blitz didn't deserve and yet he did it.

Why? Because despite everything, it was still him. It was Blitz. How could he not stoop to his knees to save him?

[badgalsasuke]

Hello! First of all, thank you! You’re doing god’s work with all those interviews right now and not being appreciated enough! You’re my comfort sns blog tbh. One of the few places I actually feel safe at.

Now back to the topic. I remember you talking about too many people, even SNS shippers, not giving Kishimoto’s work proper credit. They always joke about how he “unintentionally” made Naruto and Sasuke gay and how it’s actually interwoven with real life homophobia.

I’ve met a lot of such people too. Whenever I talk to someone about Kishimoto trying to address homophobia in the manga, everyone gives me weird looks and tells me there’s not such a moment.

As if the whole fucking story is not about two kids who are treated like outcasts because of something they can’t change about themselves. Yep, Naruto isn’t entirely about that. But how does looking at two boys who’s dealing with complicated feelings for each other, while other people are constantly insist on them breaking their bond because it’s wrong, not remind them about a big, common and well-known issue such as homophobia?

I refuse to believe it’s just blindness. They choose to ignore it.

It’s also crazy how many times Naruto is being told off, dismissed and side-eyed by people for just mentioning Sasuke or paying him “too much attention”.

☝️Well, it’s because Sasuke is a criminal.☝️☝️

Bullshit. Nobody has a problem with Sakura liking him. The girl literally harasses him! Fuck, too many girls might’ve harassed him for all those years and no one bat an eye, but when Naruto simply said he didn’t want him to be killed, everyone is fucking judging.

This fandom is fucked up and I’m not sure if there’s a way to fix it.

I’m still wondering how Kishimoto is going to handle Sasuke and Naruto’s ending tho. I still have a little bit of hope they’ll die in a very ambiguous, but also telling way. Them dying will still be enough actually.

Hi anon!

I appreciate from the bottom of my heart that y'all are liking the interview archive project! because truth to be told is y'all the sns fandom the reason why I'm doing it in the first place, I want us to have them readily available.

Whenever I talk to someone about Kishimoto trying to address homophobia in the manga, everyone gives me weird looks and tells me there’s not such a moment.

It's weird because that's a big part of Naruto's (the character) writing. In one chapter he's feeling sexually aroused by Sasuke, in another he overreacts in disgust when Kurama reminds him he's only ever kissed Sasuke. He spends more time practicing the reverse harem no jutsu full of beautiful gorgeous men than rasengan but also when he encounters the giant possum (was it a possum? lol) he thought was female but ended up being male he says "even if heaven and earth switch places, a boy will always be a boy" or something like that which. He's incredibly possessive of Sasuke and finds him very attractive and at the same has zero interest in heterosexual porn but he was brought up by Jiraiya, who seems to be homophobic. Like, Kishimoto did write on Naruto's repression and internalized homophobia and everyone outside of some SNS shippers seem to ignore it.

It’s also crazy how many times Naruto is being told off, dismissed and side-eyed by people for just mentioning Sasuke or paying him “too much attention”.

Exactly!!! Kishimoto is making a point here! why is everyone in-universe so uncomfortable with Naruto and Sasuke's bond? Because it's not deemed "normal" in that universe either, they know something's up. But if you bring it up people will say "shonen is inherently homoerotic. All male best friends act like that in anime" well, not in Naruto! it makes the other characters uncomfortable for a reason.

☝️Well, it’s because Sasuke is a criminal.☝️☝️ Bullshit. Nobody has a problem with Sakura liking him.

This! No one in the Naruto universe has expressed discomfort at Sakura for liking Sasuke even when everyone wanted him dead. On the contrary, they pity her because "oh poor her, suffering from love! how dare Sasuke make her feel like this!". Sakura's suffering for love is acceptable and even object of sympathy by other characters like Sai or Kakashi. But Naruto is constantly criticized, shunned and even physically assaulted for having the same feelings. Like, no one ever beat up Sakura for wanting to save Sasuke.

I’m still wondering how Kishimoto is going to handle Sasuke and Naruto’s ending tho. I still have a little bit of hope they’ll die in a very ambiguous, but also telling way. Them dying will still be enough actually.

I also think they're gonna die together but it's not gonna be ambiguous, Kishimoto's insane ass is gonna have them die at the same fucking time, I'm telling you it's gonna be "our heartbeats stopping at the same time" type of shit, I can sense it.

[batsplat]

ive rlly enjoyed reading ur aliens x tennis + vale x tennis posts and i was wondering if u wld be interested in describing what u think the tennis styles/career for some of the other riders on the grid? obvs im partial to all things pecco (and i think he has the neuroses a lot of tennis players also seem to have) buuttt i think something abt fabio evokes the inherent tragedy of the average men's tennis player, and bez for whatever reason feel tennis player-y to me sometimes (mayhaps its the mopey-ness because i can 11/10 picture him sitting at his bench w/ a towel over his head after flopping a match lol) or how luca's tennis is like in relation to vale, also because he plays tennis recreationally i think (motogp riders superior to f1 drivers solely for the fact that they play real tennis its factual) and he's kinda one of the few ppl on the grid who's height doesn't have to be edited in a tennis au lol. Jorge M idk how to describe it but he also kinda tennis player-y to me sometimes, maybe its the chip on the shoulder (he wld be a racket smasher wldnt he lol) or just anyone else on the current grid you wld be interesting in imagining a tennis!alt of.

had a vision

valentino whenever he's watching a current men's match

anyway. yeah this is another fun one! I've vaguely had thoughts about SOME of these before but not all the names you mention so. another neat mental exercise, let's go through them. adding pedro as my one bonus pick but cutting myself off there because this is long enough.... the ones I was thinking of after that ended up being too mean anyway

pecco: realised that pecco's career timeline actually maps onto pretty well onto a certain single slam player currently active on the atp tour, which isn't going to serve as inspiration as far as playstyle is concerned (lol) - or indeed level of success - but is useful orientation in terms of career progression. by atp star standards, pecco is a 'late bloomer'. he makes nextgen finals and has a reasonably promising if not spectacular early career, then spends a couple years in the wilderness - partly due to injury, partly just struggling to make his game work at tour level. the forehand is very much the standout shot, but it is also the most fragile and prone to collapse, to leaking errors. the backhand is underrated, a very compact shot that like... the aesthetes won't go crazy about, but crucially it's solid and he can pick quite big targets with it to consistently go after. dispositionally, he's a baseliner who would prefer to finish points from there - though valentino does not allow a single kid to pass through his academy without insisting they reach a level of 'competent' at minimum at the soft skills. pecco CAN slice, even though he doesn't do a lot of it. he's also capable of finishing points off at the net, though he'd prefer to do so really just when he's already very much on top of the point

pecco has another thing going for him - he's fast. raw foot speed is obviously a great asset to have at your disposal, and it's probably the single quality he's most similar to his mentor to. while his second serve can be a bit too easy to attack and is occasionally liable to confidence issues (not yips-level double faulting, more that it gets pushed in too much), he improves his serve a lot early in his career to become an increasingly adept spot server. it's not the biggest serve, but it's unfailingly precise and helps him execute his preferred point patterns on serve. paired with the high foot speed, he can generally find a good plus one shot after the serve. he generally favours quite a deep return position - and while his game on the whole is offence-oriented, his return strategy is quite conservative, with an emphasis on a high percentage of balls made to help him reset the point to neutral. the basic potential of his offensive game paired with an ability to move well anywhere make him a relatively surface agnostic player, even by modern standards. his ideal court speed is probably in the medium range, so perhaps a bit less suited to your monte carlo's or your wimbledon's (though the former is a way more pronounced weakness than the latter given grass plays slower these days) - but on his day, he can be successful anywhere

generally speaking, while he absolutely has favourite tournaments he performs particularly well at, he's very much a confidence player who can go on hot runs and long winning streaks. more in the positive sense than the negative one - he has a good floor level and doesn't generally suffer from massive absence in confidence, it's just that when it's on it's REALLY on. during those periods, a lot of his wins are crushingly dominant... he's an excellent frontrunner, and even when he encounters resistance from his opponents he can usually dismantle it. that being said, he is also prone to unexpected and rather spectacular collapses from winning positions, as well as the semi-regular shock early upset in a draw. it's just generally a bit of a mixed bag with him... he's perfectly capable of the sort of gritty exercise in perseverance five set win that does his mentor proud, but then he's also got the other stuff. a common fan joke is that you trust pecco more when he's down two sets to love than when he's leading by two sets and a break. the collapses tend to most commonly be linked to confidence in the forehand going away, plus a certain stubbornness over certain strategic components like return position - again, he's a perfectly capable tactician and usually a very cerebral player, but when his head goes it sure does go. valentino spends a lot of time espousing the virtues of winning ugly in his direction, hoping something will stick. absolutely got the neuroticism to be a tennis player, pecco does. definitely needs a good support system, otherwise tennis will very much drive him insane

fabio: hm. well. fabio. my working process with these is that I usually like to have an idea in my head about career progression and like,, how that would work in this fictional tennis context, because I don't really think style of play can be separated out well from that. usually my starting point for that is, unsurprisingly, the riders' actual careers. the problem with fabio is that for all I agree that he is dispositionally very tennis-y, there's two major inflection points of his career - 2019 and 2022 - that make said career so interesting, but also make no sense whatsoever outside of a motogp context. so to some extent he does lose some of that narrative juice in tennis,, but that doesn't mean he can't still make a plenty fun player. very tennis-y

the thing about fabio is that I reckon he would bring back racquet smashing in a big way. of the aliens, my sense is you can broadly divide them into two camps on the racquet-smashing axis - very unlikely to bin a racquet where cameras can see them (valentino, dani, marc) and definitely worked their way through a fair few on court (casey, jorge). given that dovi probably belongs to the first camp, at the very highest level racquet smashing has been a bit underrepresented for a few years. but fabio? oh yeah, he knows how to throw a good tantrum. he's an emotional player! he wears his heart on his sleeve and you can see pretty much every emotion known to man on his face over the course of your average tennis match. has probably yelled at his team a fair bit during matches!! fabio's career is catnip for tennis discourse. the fans who hate him when he has 'feelings' (dangerous thing in tennis circles), the hoards who absolutely adore him and are waiting for him to fulfil his potential way before he wins his first slam... the choking allegations, the mentally fragile allegations. but also the genuine outpouring of joy on his behalf in a lot of quarters when he finally clinches his first slam!! ('finally' in this context does still mean '21'.) the natural talent is obvious from the outset, but the epic highs and lows TM keep people coming back more more

in terms of playstyle, I reckon it's a lot of linear power. he has very smooth, flowing technique, very easy on the eye. one of those swings where it looks like all the body parts are working perfectly with each other. he's from that school of two-handed backhand players who are so adept at taking the ball from low to the ground that they don't really have much use for the slice as a defensive shot. his style incorporates a lot of high margin aggression - it's a power game but one that chooses big targets and doesn't involve a lot of mistakes. his ball has enough spin and height to make sense for clay - which, given where he's from, you'd imagine could get a lot of french people very excited indeed. maybe he chokes away the first covid roland garros but then returns for glory. plays pecco at some point and they have to cancel the curfew because the frenchies refuse to leave. while he does throw in some error-strewn performances early in his career, it's key for him to have confidence in his game; he can't get away with retreating into passivity, and that's what a lot of his coaching focuses on. he gets better at finding that balance. at his best, fabio has no major weaknesses and is both solid and dangerous off both wings, making him a bit of a nightmare to put away. the playbook against him increasingly involves getting him off the baseline, which can work - he's sometimes a little stiff getting forwards - but also has to be executed very well to be effective. he also becomes increasingly tough to unsettle within matches... forces opponents to become increasingly creative in their tactics to throw him off-balance. fun puzzle to try and figure out

bez: yeah, he makes sense as a tennis player. super confidence-dependent. needs a very good support group and coaching team to stave off the loneliness of tour life. I mean,, actually idk if he DOES make sense as a tennis player, I could easily imagine him being MISERABLE in that lifestyle. but well, when's that ever stopped anyone in the sport. hm... I'm about to give another player on this list a one-handed backhand, and I'm trying to figure out whether I feel like I'm exaggerating the ratio of 1hbh's at the top of men's tennis. but no,, I think I'm good. two out of the top twenty two doesn't sound unreasonable, and there's maybe... one other guy I'd consider giving a 1hbh, so hardly egregious. the thought process here is casey's whole schtick about how great bez would've been if they'd simply get rid of all those pesky electronics. given I'd previously already assigned casey a single hander (one that's actually good, tbc), 'outdated elements of the game' do unfortunately make me think of that specific shot. bez has an extreme eastern grip on his backhand, where the racquet face is more closed and tends to involve a higher spin load on the ball. he avoids the most obvious pitfalls like a tendency to struggle with higher balls or a tendency to produce a lot of mishits - but it comes at the expense of power at that wing. he's also not particularly good at flattening the ball out or redirecting. which actually makes it a very strong rally ball, albeit one that still has a propensity to get bullied by serves - it's just as a complete package, it's not the ideal shot for the modern game

the forehand is also a bit of a throwback, but in a good way. it's not a noisy motion, the wrist is extended and the racquet face held high at takeback, allowing for a clean swing that generates power quite nicely. given the eastern grip on this wing, it makes bez one of the rare players who has more spin on his backhand than forehand. the serve, like that of bez's hero for most of his career, has a platform stance - far from unusual, though a little more uncommon than pinpoint. taken together, it gives bez quite a distinctive style on court... one that is also immediately very appealing to journalists and tennis commentators, who are taken by both the distinctive appearance and a game that reminds them of players they grew up watching. nostalgia-core. it is also theoretically a game that has all the basic building blocks to be very successful. bez has plenty of natural ability and a sort of instinctive grasp for the game that is tough to teach. he has the hand skills that for a while there make him look like the most likely heir to valentino's throne of the academy kids - though he has always been more aggressively minded and wants to dictate points with his forehand. it's a very liberated, fun type of play. throwing himself into balls with his whole body, lovely reactive brakes both in his footwork and in his groundstrokes. there are weaknesses to be exploited - especially in his capacity to generate offence and redirect off the backhand, allowing the most skilled players to pin him in that corner and prevent him from using his preferred pattern of running around the backhand to hit an inside out forehand. but the potential is all there, plenty obvious to see

there's plenty of talk in sports about athletes going to 'dark places' - a point that exists beyond natural limits and a certain pain threshold (whether physical or solely psychological), to allow oneself to fully sink into the suffering if that's what it takes to win. the basic idea is that to compete at the very highest level, you need to relinquish various defence mechanisms. to try to the fullest extent and fail nevertheless is inherently humiliating - but if you're too worried about what it'd be like to surrender yourself so completely to the effort and still come up short, then inevitably you cannot push past that limit. again, this is not a concept unique to tennis, but it sure is one relevant to this sport. and it's pretty obvious, even from the outside, that some athletes are more capable of accessing those dark places within themselves than others. some can even revel in the pain (again, physical or psychological), to a certain extent anyway. the most obvious example of that kind of character from the blokes featured in this post is... I mean. it's pecco. obviously it's pecco. I suspect bez exists a little bit too far on the other end of the spectrum, where he doesn't have the same level of comfort with his own suffering. tennis matches when everything is flowing smoothly are lots of fun, but champions need to find a way to win even on their bad days. for a while, bez is flying high, a mixture of glorious runs and valiant defeats that could certainly propel him to a few masters titles. but if the confidence in his game is ever seriously shaken... it could stay shaken. pecco may have choked a few leads away in his time, but he also possesses a near-unrivalled ability to pick himself up immediately afterwards and go again. bez is far more susceptible to downward spirals, which can be lethal in tennis. still needs to prove if he can adapt his game enough to break himself out of that kind of a spiral

luca: sometimes you look at a man and just go 'one-handed backhand'. idk if he has a single hander irl, I don't really care, his tennis pro version would. if luca had been born a decade later, this is probably something his brother would have discouraged, but in the noughties... nah. also, I've given two of valentino's five major rivals (sete and casey) one handed backhands, and for casey at least it's a major weapon. so. a lot of luca's formative memories are watching his older brother win slams and masters and atp finals, sometimes in-person, often on tv. but... idk, it feels right somehow that he ends up with a noticeably different style than his brother. a case of being inspired by valentino but not copying everything about him, also wanting to set himself apart a bit. the backhand is obviously the most easily visible expression of that, but it extends beyond that. luca's whole game is geared towards offence, to figuring out how to use his weapons to finish points off quickly. the forehand is flat and penetrating, the serve designed to create easy plus one putaways. luca's favourite surface to watch growing up is grass, so he does take valentino's slice and volley lessons very seriously. my general rule when trying to imagine a rider's game is to like... add about 15 cm to their height to keep them in similar proportions to each other - except with valentino, who doesn't play like someone that tall. if you did that with luca, you'd be taking him right into servebot territory, which... well... 199 cm by today's standards isn't CRAZY so... yeah sure, why not. it kinda naturally pushes him to a serve-oriented game that prioritises power over movement. (ofc not to the extent of tall men in the past, obviously by now there are several prominent examples of men of that height who are excellent movers.) make serve and volley happen again

given luca's age and because it'd be pleasing to me personally, I imagine a fair bit of valentino's input in helping luca develop his backhand boils down to 'go copy what stoner is doing'. this means luca ends up with a perfectly good backhand - not an extreme grip, compact takeback, heavy on hip rotation and doesn't really use the non-dominant arm as a counterweight. straight arm. it produces quite flat tennis on both wings, and for all that luca was also raised on clay and is perfectly competent at moving on the surface, grass is clearly his best surface. which is a bit of a shame because there's really not much going on with that surface beyond wimbledon. luca's style is a relatively extreme form of first strike tennis, played by somebody completely cognisant of that style's limitations but is attempting to maximise his chances with what he has at his disposal. he's a real student of the game, a proper tennis nerd, the type to make journalists want to propose to him in every other presser. (gets asked to oddly many pressers given his ranking.) for all that he's a top 20-30 staple, I imagine he'd also be invited to do some commentary work... analysis on tennis channel or italian broadcasts, that kind of thing - which he'd be wary of doing too much of, but essentially he'd be welcome any time. not always easy to escape his brother's considerable shadow, and he does get tired of being asked about him, but after a certain point he's mostly allowed to be his own guy. for all that he has his own ambitions and really is incredibly diligent in working on his own game, everybody already agrees he'll make a fantastic coach/commentator/coach + commentator when he retires

jorge m: oh hey, another racquet smasher! jorge probably smashes racquets when he WINS. very fired up type of guy, basically never needs time to work his way into matches. his tennis is THERE from the very first point. sometimes it's there in a very baseball-y aim-for-the-back-fence type of way, but it sure is there. in terms of sheer pace, jorge has the biggest forehand of anyone on this list. it also has a lethal amount of spin. just a lovely, loose explosive shot, a lot of work with that wrist. even by motogp standards, he's on the shorter side - which we're keeping for his tennis version (just plus 15 cm), making him naturally more suited to returning over serving. I'm pro emphasising his similarities with pecco, so I think he should also be particularly high on raw foot speed. looks quite different from pecco doing it, despite his height really goes in for big lunging steps and makes use of his considerable flexibility - he's really fun to watch with his athleticism and dogged determination to hunt down balls. compact backhand good at digging out balls, also not much use for slices. his ability to hit acute angles off both wings while moving is a particular strength and compliments his ability to generate pace from the centre of the court to make him an all-round offensive powerhouse. his volleys are... okay, but also don't necessarily go beyond that, and his transition game can be a bit lacking when it goes beyond 'big forehand go boom into the corner'. in general, he's the type of player who doesn't philosophically agree with the concept of 'defending', and would prefer to attack pretty much every ball from every position. sometimes, it's to his advantage - when he's chasing after balls and just instinctively using the opponent's pace and angle against them, there's less opportunity for the kind of over-exuberance that acquaints balls with the back fence

given his high proficiency at returning and his relative serving weakness (not super pronounced, it's just not the biggest weapon you'll find on tour), a lot of his offence is taking place from relatively neutral positions. this diminishes the margin in his matches - he's perfectly capable of involving himself in matches with lopsided scorelines in either direction. if the weapons are firing, great, if they're misfiring, he doesn't really have free points on serve to bail him out. it gets him a reputation for being a temperamental hot-and-cold player that is... true to some extent, but also maybe not entirely fair. early in his time on the main tour, he gets some big breakout results, before he sustains a career-threatening injury that he does well to bounce back from. it takes him a while to figure out how to reliably win with his game, to maybe get a slightly better sense of risk management within points and within matches. how to manage the rhythms of a match. gets better at learning to extend a rally and actually make better use of that speed - both him and pecco are at times susceptible to a sort of 'they bash you bash harder' mindset, but he has learned to reign it back a bit. maybe even learns how to integrate a teensy bit more variety into his game, gets better at taking out pace from his shots to construct rallies better. work up to his finishing shot rather than bashing until he gets one past his opponent. still a hothead!! and, yup, chip on the shoulder. the type of guy who gets het up about court assignments. bad line calls. his team not giving him adequate support. shitty balls. the weather. the roof. sometimes it's better for him to let out his emotions and have a little tantrum, rather than bottle it all up and stew on it - can be preferable to get it out of his system so he can then move on and keep playing well. for all that he has a temper, he also has a real capacity to deal with adversity. a work in progress, but he sure does keep working

bonus - pedro: counterpunching is back baby. it's good again. awoouuu (wolf howl). all the non-valentino aliens are way more offensively-minded than valentino was - so with the exception of dovi, the pusher-representation on the tour has been a bit lacking. pedro is not a pusher and he does have a fair bit loose, natural power... but his main strengths are explosive lateral movement and a backhand to die for. he also has more... bits to his game, layers, than some of the other players who have come through in recent years. he's quite natural with the slice and can hit a dropshot and takes a pro-volleying stance to his tennis. AND he's very amenable to flexible tactics. the kind of kid who will play one game as a pusher, realise it's not working, and then suddenly switch to bashing. he's got an ability to... play feasible rally shots from any position, like if he's sliding or if he's just reaching for a ball, he has this ability to flick his wrists and twist his hips to somehow dig the ball out. he's clever, very much a student of the game, and WANTS to use the full toolkit to dismantle his opponents. to take them on at their own game and beat them. however, he is still in the 'too many options' stage of development where he has all this Stuff at his disposal and needs to figure out what to do with it. an ability to both grind it out and be offensive will do him good in the long run, but he still needs to figure out when to do what and how to switch from one to the other within rallies

energetic on court, very much a Character who wants to involve the crowd. not necessarily in a nasty way, though he's not opposed to a bit of needle. tends to come across as quite cool and composed in the face of pressure, though it shows when he wants to do too much. another bloke who's more of a natural returner than server. maybe partly because the serve is..... temperamental right now. he can mix up the spins quite nicely, just the reliability and precision that's all over the place. the return strategy can also get a bit questionable, but the basic technical elements are all there. and a chipped return!! it exists!! very high rally tolerance, excellent balance that allows him to slide into balls and consistently recover well. a real deft touch for deceleration, both in terms of his literal movement and the shots he plays, how he's able to both absorb and inject pace at will. and, crucially, he brings with him a real willingness to grind it out. to win by gradually working the ball out of the opponent's range, or by waiting until they make a mistake. problem solve. again, it's the point construction where things are a bit wonky... the building blocks are all there, so. he'll get there

[rudnitskaia]

yay a week until my 29th bday ✨🔥😎🔥✨

[cybergothvox]

At the end of the day, is kin just someone who identifies as their kintype or not? Is it anyone who actually identifies as their kintype, or do they have to perform all these 'correct' behaviours and social dances to prove that you kin- pardon, that you are kin- correctly?

[wifesuguru]

…is it considered moving too fast to have added my new work bestie to my insta close friends two weeks into this thing…

[goldenpinof]

.

[masonsbf]

.

[kingsunboo]

The way something embarrassing happens to me every time I leave my house these days I'm so 🤮🤮

[evtoine]

thinking about halsin and his relation to trauma. how he was able to heal from the terrible thing that happened to him, how it doesn't control him, how he can acknowledge it but he doesn't hurt how he used to. how it doesn't consume his every waking thought. it's incredibly healing to be able to see a character who has immense grief and trauma still able to be hopeful, still able to make a change, and be able to interact with the things that hurt him in the first place.

[aster-daydream404]

I just woke up and now im having a panic attack because some overfried orange bigotted dictatorial asshole (and a bunch of red elitist capitalistic shitheads) was given too much power and now they’re starting to try and fucking axe literal safe spaces for queer people and minorities on the fucking internet as long as the base of operations are in their fucking country……..

And the thing is its just the start too…

[bunkernine]

society if hoo had them at uni age and the lost trio went to chb and chiron is like "how tf are ANY of u alive and unclaimed". wilderness was just community college.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Sounds like you've got a right bitch of a co-worker based on those post tags lol

ajfksdljf TT0TT Oh that was like my 3rd version of a post I made. I had to talk myself down and censor myself akljsdflkfa orz

But yes he really is. I cannot stress it enough that everyone hates his guts and he's created such a hostile work environment.