#it's like ripping off a bandaid right
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Shh (nsfw, mdni)
A Reiner x reader drabble. You might be a little shy about being overheard, but Reiner sure isn't.
warnings: explicit dialog, dirty talk, Reiner being a lil shit, afab reader. Characters are cadets in this story, but aged up to 19.
notes: this is definitely the filthiest thing I’ve ever written and maybe ever will write, sooooo feel free to pretend you didn’t see it
not beta read
I’ve literally never written any form of dirty talk before so I’m sorry if this is the worst thing ever
reposted here
#reiner#reiner braun#reiner smut#reiner braun smut#reiner x reader#I feel like I'm gonna have a crisis as soon as I post this lmfao#it's like ripping off a bandaid right#I'm exaggerating a little but this is so fucking weird for me to share with anyone#I literally don't even know if I write this kind of thing well#or if it's full on cringey#I hope someone enjoys it nonetheless
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me and the Girlies (gn) about to make some objectively fucking terrible decisions in DATV:
#i have an terrible urge to make the worst choices possible right away just to see how bad it can get#like ripping off a bandaid or setting a bone#just fuck me up#i can feel better after#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#DA4#DA:V#DA:TV#solas#solavellan#egg disaster#p.s. don't nightblog or you'll put words in the wrong order
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wouldn't it have been so fucked up if season one / st was actually a real ghost story and will rly had been dead the whole time n was communicating with joyce from the literal other side. like we as the audience know tht will was alive bc we're The Audience but to everyone else it jus sounded like a ghost story concocted by a mother out of her mind with grief. canonically. but like.......... the "he's been dead since the beginning" / "someone has to leave first. this is a very old story. there is no other version of this story" of it all hits so Hard
#and mike hearing him on the radio n dustin thinking it was will's ghost omg#he likes it cold / will being cold once possessed n part of the upside down -> the whole thing abt ghosts feeling like a cold breeze#and the i'm right here stuff n always being left behind#he's Already a ghost in the story but what if he was A Literal Ghost#nd in s4 he can't rip the bandaid off bc he still has unfinished business#do u see the vision do u get it . real actual wraith will#waittttt actual ghost will trying to lead joyce to his body so he can properly pass....... calling out to her from the valley of shadows..#made myself sad wtf .
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This time around I thought I would make a comic relaying the events after the last time I posted, because my gosh is it easier to explain with pretty pictures than upsetting words >vO I prefer to make jokes about my situation than anything, ‘cause honestly it’s a solid way of dealing with it and I take so many medications as it is, why not add laughter to it I say! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
Despite my condition’s best efforts I still managed to organise and complete a commission with someone through emails! Thank you @waezi2 you were so patient as I arose from my grave every other day to get things done (❁´◡`❁) Fighting my body and winning to complete it was the victory I needed! The sheer satisfaction I get from a commission well received by someone is like pure nectar to me~ Sweet sustenance I just can’t get enough of! The money don’t hurt either, Disability Support Pensions do not go far in this economy 👀 This is as close as I can get to having a job and I wont let C.V.S (Cyclic vomiting Syndrome) or Chrohns take that from me!
I’m raring to dive into more if anyone’s interested ♪(´▽`) I’m just about to post a new “commissions sheet” to broadcast that very fact >vO I do love having something to draw between Ectober pages~
#OKKennyMay#chronically ill#chrohns disease#Comic#cyclic vomiting syndrome#If you're wondering about the fire#long story short my body has little to no control over it's temperature and sometimes it tries to overheat me to death during my episodes#it makes it such a hassle constantly changing out ice packs and devouring ice only to vomit it out trying to cool it myself down physically#In a room that's colder than ice but feels like a furnace to me#all the while in a desperate and delirious haze#needless to say it's a bit of a wild time but i've got a really awesome mum who keeps me alive during these moments#I'm determined to be more honest about what's going to in my life for my own sake#i'm tired of having nightmares about people knowing details about my illness so i'm just going to rip the damn bandaid off#no matter how embarrassing or horrifying it is to relay at times I gotta do it#because i'm tired of being ashamed for things I have no control over dang it! It's not my fault my body doesn't work right >:V#hey if you read all these tags thank you#I appreciate you
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I posting this as a WARNING to all my followers that I won't post anything tomorrow until I have watched Joel's POV of the Secret Life finale. After which I will come here to incomprehensibly scream like a rabid creature either in an uncontainable joy I've never felt in my life way over his victory or in an agonising pain that makes me read angsty fics at 3 am just to feel something way over his death.
All of this is to say that I WILL NOT BE NORMAL TOMORROW
#I am nervous and excited#I want to watch the finale right now to know who wins to rip the bandaid off already and be done with the pain of waiting#At the same time I don't want to watch the finale nor learn who wins just wanna keep adding more bandaids and for finale to never come#It's a real dillema I am in right now#Anyway all of this is to say that Secret Life has been a very fun ride#and I will like the ending no matter who wins because I love all lifers#I will just be “not okay” for a while if Joel loses but I will be fine afterwords lmao#Also let me try manifesting for one last time... ehem#JOEL WIN JOEL WIN JOEL WIN JOEL WIN JOEL WIN JOEL WIN JOEL WIN JOEL WIN JOE L WIN JOEL WIN JOE LW IN JOEL WIN JOWE L WIN JOEL WIN WOEL WIN-#secret life#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#life series
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okay. see. the thing is. the cricketing gear isn't just a silly set of clothes the tardis picked out. it's to clue you in that we're dealing with posh edwardian man levels of repression here. that's who five is.
#and you gotta keep this in mind for every emotional moment in his era. calling tegan's departure unsentimental... like sure. ok.#bleak might be a better descriptor tho.#like they're literally standing in a room full of dead bodies. that's what they're stepping over.#it's quick yeah bc tegan's on the verge of tears and handling it like ripping off a bandaid.#bc if she lets the doctor speak she'll be convinced to stay and she can't bear it anymore!#the way five oh so slowly raises his hand to take hers and the look on his face?#the way he runs after her and says 'no no don't leave not like this!'#that's crazy!!! and then he compares it to the circumstances that made him leave gallifrey!!#an ep later he describes himself as 'obsessed and depressed' over it!!#there's a reason it goes [tegan's departure] -> [turlough's departure] -> [five dies] in the course of three serials!#donna voice it's like you're staggering along. once tegan leaves he's hurtling towards his end.#and tegan hasn't changed her mind when she turns back around the corner. she's watching the tardis dematerialize as a final goodbye.#'brave heart tegan' (the thing he always says to you) isn't what you say when you made a rash decision & are regretting it.#it's to steel yourself bc you know you made the right decision despite how hard it is.#and yes he takes her at her word bc five sees everyone on a countdown clock to the day they're going to leave him. he expects it.#:(#dw
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Wifey it’s not that you’re not good enough. Wipe that mindset from your head coz baby you are a gem and truly something amazing. Men just fucking suck and are cowardly. Keep your head up
Now that it’s been a day or so, I’ve come to terms with it and I’m not too mad…I’m just mad that he dragged it on and said literally nothing at all to me the next day until mad late at night lmao
#like if you don’t fuck with me then tell me then and there#Don’t wait and let me get my hopes up#Just rip the bandaid off clean and get it over with if you think the vibes aren’t right#my inbox has been filled#writinglionqueen
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WHEN WILL I FINISH THIS GAME. WHEN. ARGH.
#I keep putting it off. at first because I wasn't ready to and now I'm like just rip the damn bandaid off an finish it. let's do it#we have other playthroughs in progress and lined up so it's not Over over (even Xa'rok's story)#but life keeps conspiring against me (work burnout. too much sleep. too little. time not right)#and now I'm like#stick figure biting meme#I should've just jumped on when I woke up from my nap-turned-impromptu bad nights sleep a couple hours ago#but now it feels simultaneously too late and too early to get into all that#so I'm going back to sleep instead#I'm just annoyed at myself >:/#rook's ramblings
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The good news: I will have Chinese food tomorrow
The bad news: I have to see my mom as part of it :[
#speculation nation#negative/#i guess. i Am complaining.#i did agree to this. better to rip the bandaid off ahead of the family christmas.#but i havent talked to her since like... jeeze. i really think it's been over 2 years by this point now.#ignored all her calls and texts and Letters even#like what am i supposed to say? heyyy ma nice to see you (i guess). why havent i called? well uhhhhh#even in her letter she sent me it was essentially a nearly illegible journal she kept during a depressing as fuck time#something that really shouldve stayed as a journal. but no she wrapped it up stuck a sticker on it and drew some nail polish on the envelope#i am her child and yet she was using me as a therapist. venting things and In The Letter saying she didnt know why she said them#like. mom. you know you dont have to send me everything you write right? you know you can start over right?#but no she just writes with no filter. no consideration for me.#because she's a sad sad woman who sees her children as the only things worth living for#and i do say things. she doesn't fucking care about me as a person.#she just misses the experience of being these little impressionable people's Everything.#no one puts up with her bullshit these days and how sad is that?#so. well. that's the kind of reason why i havent talked to her. bc she's a fucking drain just to be around.#but shes my mother yada yada and something in me still feels maybe even slightly socially obligated to see her#really though i just want to see her Side of the family. i miss them. i haven't seen them in too long.#and in order to see them i have to see her. and i decided itd be best to see her ahead of time#so that family xmas is. at least slightly less awkward. hopefully.#what am i supposed to do if she tries to hug me or something? i dont want to hug her.#either she'll be all weepy that i havent been talking to her or she'll try to act like nothing's changed at all.#or maybe both. who knows. either way itll be entirely about her. as it always is.#i just need to make sure i dont end up alone with her#so long as my sister or grandma are there too she wont be As insufferable. hopefully.
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remember that sarah & ellie sisters/miller family modern no outbreak au i was rambling about a few weeks ago? my brain finally decided to write a little slice of life for it!
#ao3#fic writing#tlou fanfiction#tlou fic#this is short and generally plot-less but#it's the first thing i've finished in a few weeks!!!!!#anyways i'm so sorry to my other wips that were mowed down when i decided to write this at 11pm last night#i was too stressed about starting this au as like a more serious series#so i needed to just rip it off like a bandaid and dive right in#if you see a typo.....no you don't
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making new friends is legitimately just a repeating process of "ok, we're on a roll, now let's see how they handle this statement" *waits intently*
#i'm not one of those ''wait before revealing weirdness'' people. i'm ripping the motherfucking bandaid off. life is too short#i need to know right now. what's your weirdness threshold. are you possibly secretly also as weird as me.#or can you at least handle if someone else is. bc if not then it's deuces my guy. we can be friendLY but that's as far as this is gonna go#i think my favourite response aside from ''YOOO SAME'' is ''wait can you explain that'' bc that signals#1. you're not ashamed to be curious and ask questions when you don't understand something or want to know more#2. /you want to know more about me/. like that's the ideal
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yeah I think this went well
#WOOOOO#fINALLY fucking RIPPED OFF THE BANDAID#time to go hide for a week#:)#time for me to FINALLY actually tag a post of mine with...#trans#:D#that still feels weird to say I forgot which one of you said you'd feel like you're lying for the first few times but you're so right#welp now that that's out of the way#gonna run away and hide and be hidden and not answer questions now#bye
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Being a fictive is funny because when i say "the roboticization in my head" i mean. The one in my exomemories WKDNAJCBSK
#talking about how cool the idea is in the story and accidentally rips off a giant bandaid and goes 'oh right. My Real Feelings'#'my dad Did do that. and i never knew. he saved me'#like what do i Do with that one#quinn.txt
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Listen, I gotta give Bai Li props. She's doing an excellent job portraying a woman who is truly done but has to keep pretending everything is okay. O_O
#faye watches till the end of the moon#like bruh episodes ago you could tell she was done w you and it hurt#now you're so desperate to start over that you can't tell she hates your guts right now?#i'm hugging them both 😭😭😭#i really do wonder if she would've understood if she had let him talk#bc i understand his side of the misunderstanding but possessing her to kill xiao lin was still a hecka low blow#welp#time to rip this bandaid off
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#huh#so that’s that#ripped off like the most painful bandaid that didn’t come off right the first time#if you know me irl don’t say anything but I need to put it into the ether because it doesn’t feel real#but I’m single again#it’s weird#but I feel like a weight is gone#it sucks though
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"You aren't dead but you don't talk anymore. I'm not sure you understand what I'm saying to you. I'm not sure you recognize me."
Same, especially the latter; and
We are literally in the same.. human settlement now (used to live in different countries). Which adds another level of oddness to this.
Thinking about... Grieving the undead.
#bonus layer of oddness: the same workplace.#honestly have been going through the realisation that people change#and i tried to rip it off like a bandaid#because otherwise it's just uncomfortable and somewhat painful for me#to try to keep it all up#and feeling like i am the only one trying to show up#even though i was very grateful for everything that was and happened before#you can't really use gratefulness right?.#yea#personal#damn i myself typed it all out and then went woah that's kind of a lot#you know but i think it all does provide one with something invaluable#namely a better and deeper understanding of human nature and relationships in general
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