#it's like 3 in the morning i should go to bed

[kimmryokoo]

Late Night - logan howlet

author: kim ryoko

masterlist

summary: logan was supposed to go to a mission that would only last 3 days. unfortunately, it took longer then expected. your birthday went by quicly and you were already sleeping when logan returned. you both really missed each other and you let a kiss turn into something bigger...

word count: 3k

warnings: figeting, smut, filthy, reader has no appetite, slight possibility of death (doesn't happend), teasing, sub reader, little fluff at the end

author's note: english isn't my first language so I'm sorry for ay grammar mistakes, feel free to correct me. I'm so sorry it took me this long to publish something. I've been really busy lately. my birthday was on december 13th (the same as taylor swift🤭), so I wrote this as a sort of birthday present.

It's been days since you last saw Logan. He was out on a mission with Scott and Jean, and they left exactly 7.5 days ago when it was supposed to only last 3 days. You missed Logan very much, and tomorrow was your birthday so you were rooting for Logan and the rest of the team to arrive the night before or in the morning of the day.

It was already 11pm the day before your birthday and you were still waiting for your friends and lover to arrive while sitting in a bench on the jet garage and you then heard the big and thick metal doors sliding to open and the sound of wheels caught your attention.

“You're still here? It's getting late. You should head to bed and get a good night's sleep. Big day tomorrow.” Charles said.

“I'm just waiting for them to arrive.” you spoke with a tone filled with exhaustion, worry, hope and love, all at the same time.

“Unfortunately, I don't think they'll come back today.”

“What makes you say that, professor?”

“If they were to return, Jean would've reached to me and reported everything that happened while they were out on the mission, but she hasn't yet.” Charles argued and got a bit closer to you, now sitting next to you and putting an understanding hand on your back.

“I really wanted to spend tomorrow with them.” you said in a sad voice.

“I know. But the only thing you can do right now is go to sleep and get energized for when they do come back.” he stated in his always calm tone.

“You're right. Thank you, professor.” and before you got up to leave the room, you gave a loose hug to the older man that has supported you through so many things.

It was now the next day, 6:30 a.m. and your alarm went on with his job of waking you up. His loud rings easily made their way to your ears and woke you up with a symphony that reminded you a lot of screaming babies. To end your suffering, you quickly moved your hand to turn off the alarm.

You sat up and stared at the place where your feet were hidden under the blanket. You then looked to your side and saw the cold, empty bed you wished was filled by Logan.

You sighed and got up to prepare yourself a bath to give you enough fuel to go through the day.

After you got out of the shower and put on some clothes, you packed everything you needed for the day and when you were packing the notebook where you plan your classes, you saw something written on the page the notebook was opened, and it looked like Logan’s lettering.

‘ Hey. So, I'm pretty sure this mission ain't gonna take 3 days like those dip heads are saying, so I'm writing a note for your birthday, so you can at least hear from me that day.I know that the day you're reading this is your birthday day, because I can see the date of the classes you planned in here. First of all, happy birthday, and I want you to know that I love you. A lot. And you're honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I also want you to know that if I'm not there for your birthday, I'm dying of how much I miss you. I really hope you have a great day and that I get to see you or at least talk to you today. Love ya.

-Lo ’

Wow. Even when he's away, he somehow manages to make your day better.

You read the note and felt your heart swell with love for that man.

You finished packing everything and stepped outside the room and only a few steps later you were attacked by someone who came running towards you from your back and back-hugged you.

“Happy Birthday!” you heard the person whom you then knew was Ororo from her voice.

You turned to your friend and she immediately hugged you properly. Your smile grew wider from all the care your friend was giving you.

“Thank you, Ororo.”

“I got you a present! But I’m only going to give it to you at the end of the day.” the white haired woman said while breaking the hug and holding both your hands to continue touching you somehow.

“Then why would you tell me now?! You’re going to make me anxious all day!” you said in a pout tone but with a smile on your lips as you squeezed your friend’s hands harder.

“I know you have classes to teach, and so have I so I’m not going to take your precious time.” she grinned and kissed my cheek “Have a great day and happy birthday again!” She continued and started walking towards the direction she came from whilst waving a small ‘good-bye’ to which you responded with the same gesture and a kind and grateful smile.

You quickly arrived at your class and from that moment forward, that day was filled with people saying ‘Happy Birthday’ to you and many ‘Happy birthday’ songs.

At the end of all your classes, you decided to head back to the jet garage to wait for the team, since they haven’t arrived yet. While you were sitting on the same bench as the day before, you heard the same sound as you’ve heard the day before - heavy metal doors sliding open and metal wheels going your direction.

“What a Déjà vu, huh?” you said playfully to Charles, who chuckled softly at your statement.

“I would also say so myself. I presume you're here doing the same thing as you were yesterday?”

“Yeah.” you said looking down. The truth was that your day had been amazing, but it still felt a bit empty without Logan.

“Have you had dinner yet? It’s almost 8 p.m. .”

“No, I came here right after my classes finished. I’m just so worried. They should’ve been back by now. What if something bad happened? What if they…?”

“I’m sure it hasn’t. Have a little more faith in them. Go eat something and then I’ll let you come back here, but you have to promise me you’ll go to sleep at least by 11 p.m.”

“Fine.” you responded with a tone of defeat and got up to walk to the kitchen.

You tried your best to eat a normal sized meal, but you were too worried to eat anything. You stared at your plate with a small amount of mach-and-cheese and stirred it for about 30 minutes. It took you a long time to eat all of your food, but eventually you finished and cleaned the mess you made.

You left the kitchen and saw the rest of the mansion in complete darkness. You know your way around, and your heart was telling you to go back downstairs and wait for Logan a little longer but you also knew that whether you wanted to or not, you'd make noise that would probably wake someone up and that would make you feel bad. You glance back at the clock on the kitchen wall and see it’s almost 10 p.m. and consider going straight to bed and not risking waking up any student that might make your day 10 times worse tomorrow. You end up going to your room, since you’re also pretty tired from your day.

Once you closed your bedroom door, you started doing your night routine and only a few moments after you lay on your bed, you fell asleep.

You later woke up to what sounded like a door opening and closing. And then another door opened and closed.

You looked around the room and found nothing wrong. It must've been in your dream, so you went back to sleep.

You woke up again, but this time with an arm wrapping around your waist and you supported your weight on your elbow and turned slightly just to see Logan’s exhausted face looking at you with apologizing eyes from his pillow.

“Logan!” you said happily and hugged the man tightly while burying your face in his neck.

“Hey, sweetheart. Happy birthday.”

“Thank you!” you said and pulled a bit back to look at Logan’s face.

You leaned forward to lightly press your lips against his. That soft kiss was deepened when his hand grabbed the the back of your neck and pulled you to him. He was quick to change you positions so that he was on top. One of Logan’s hands supported his weight on the mattress near your face while the other one roamed free through your body squeezing your skin. You felt Logan’s tongue against your lips and didn't hesitate to let it in.

“You have no idea how much I missed ya.” Logan said in between kisses with a rough and starved tone that made you moan against his mouth.

In response to your sound, you felt his hips pressuring against yours while his free hand wrapped your legs around his waist. You could feel how hard he was beneath his pants and you never wanted something so bad like you did in that moment.

Logan’s mouth didn't restrain only your mouth. It also traveled to your neck and collarbones and you then smelled the scent of his shampoo. That's why you heard 2 doors opening and closing. One of them was your bedroom door and the other one was the bathroom's. It made sense now.

All that sense was rapidly taken away from you when you felt his bulge starting to move against your clothed pussy.

“Ahh… Logan…” you moaned “Please…” you finished.

“What, darlin’? Tell me. Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you, birthday girl.”

“I… I want you…”

“Where?” he asked “Here?” he said, faking innocence while rubbing stripes on top of your shorts.

“Y-yes…” you said with flushed cheeks.

“Well then. Imma have to take this off.” He said and sat up on his knees to smoothly rip your shorts out of you to find out you weren't wearing any underwear.

“Oh fuck, princess. You'll be the death of me. I've been gone for over a week and come back to you all wet like this? Do you know how hard it is to control myself when all I could smell was this neddy pussy since you saw me?” he asked. His face gets closer with each word. Almost close enough to kiss you.

“Then don't.” you said breathless and softly. You then leaned a bit forward to lick his lips and made them open just a small bit.

You saw the way his eyes darkened in pure lust and you felt it in the way he kissed you - with so much passion and need.

Logan only broke the kiss to sit back up on his knees to rip your shirt off, letting your chest free.

“Why’d you rip all my clothes off?” you asked with your breath taken from the way he took your nipples in his mouth which made you back ark for more.

“My present.” he stated in a low tone.

“But it’s my birthday…” you answered with your eyes closed and a moan escaping your lips when you were done talking.

“Your birthday, my present.”

Logan continued to play with you for a few minutes when you felt a knot on your stomach.

“Lo, I’m close…”

With that, Logan stopped paying attention to your breasts and took his hand to your core, rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb and slowly inserting his index and middle finger on your clenching hole.

You almost screamed out of pleasure when you felt Logan’s fingers moving inside you and scissoring you open to prepare you. You soon came undone under the felling of the friction of his long, thick and calloused hands inside your pussy.

Logan pulled back his body, taking his fingers out of your hole and putting them in his mouth for a brief second, sucking them.

“The sweetest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever tasted.” he uttered.

He then proceeded to put those same fingers inside your mouth, this time.

“Suck.” he demanded, and when you did as he ordered, he continued “Atta girl.”

With his free hand, he pulled down his pants and his cock immediately sprung free, slapping against his abs, with veins popping out and precum leaking from the tip. Logan then slowly stroked his length to lubricate it while you watched with saliva dripping from the corners of your mouth and your core getting wetter with every passing second, even though you just cummed.

Logan grabbed his cock by the base and aligned it with your hole, pushing bit by bit, inch by inch, until you were a moan and whimper mess. Once he bottomed you out, you moaned into his digits.

“Such a pretty little fuckin’ slut” he said as his gaze stared intensely to where your bodies met, watching you clench around him in an oh so delicious way.

Logan pulled back his hips to immediately rock them back into yours, making the thrilling sound of his skin slapping against yours fill your ears and your brain. Logan’s pace started slow - always careful not to hurt you - but you could tell it was different then usual. He was rougher than normal, eating you out with more urgency.

“You have no idea how good it feels to be inside this pussy again.” he groaned at the end of the sentence.

Logan’s pace sped up as he started to seek for the pleasure of his high that he had felt coming since he began fucking you. Logan knew that after so many days of only cumming with his hand while thinking of in his tend don't even compare to the feel of being inside you and that once he felt it again, he wouldn’t be able to hold on for long.

Logan took a moment to stop thinking about anything and look at you. Really look at you. The way your hair was messy because of the pillow, the way your forehead was sweating more than usual from thee over-stimulation, the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head every time he pounded inside you, the way your cheeks where flustered and got more red every time he praised you, the way your beautiful lips where glossy and red from all the sucking and that pretty string of saliva dripping in your cheek, the way your neck was marked from his hard work, the way your tits bounced up and down rhythmically with the times he fucked himself into you and the hickeys and red spots here and there, the way your clit was swollen and over-sensitive, the way your pussy wrapped around his cock so perfectly and clenched around him making him feel like he was in heaven, the way your sweet noises filled the room and you the way you called his name like it was a prayer. Fuck… Logan couldn’t take it anymore.

He grabbed your legs and put them on his shoulders, giving him better access to your g-spot and bending even further to kiss you. The kiss was rugged but held all the feelings he felt when he was alone in his cold sleeping bag in the inside of his tent while listening to Scott and Jean doing what he would kill to be doing with you.

“Lo… I-I’m coming again…”

“That’s it. Come for me princess.”

And, you did as you were told.

As soon as he felt you coming apart on his cock, he couldn’t resist it anymore and filled you up.

“Good girl. Always doing as you’re told.” he said in a teasing and low voice in which you only responded with another moan.

Logan helped you ride both your highs and you both soon came completely. He then let himself fall to your side, burying his head into the crook of your neck.

“Thank you for the present.” you said with a smile on your face as you lifted up your hand to play with his hair.

Logan chuckled and asked “You think this is your present? I told you it was mine. My fucking present for putting up with Scott and Jean for so long without leaving them there and coming back here to your arms.”

You laughed.

“I wouldn’t have minded that.”

“Noted. I’ll be sure to do it next time.” he joked and you felt his smile against your neck and you laughed again.

“Where’s my present, then?”

“Such an impatient girl.” he said as he pushed himself up, kissed you and grabbed a small box from his nightstand, all without coming out of you.

“Here you go, birthday girl.” He said and kissed your forehead.

You looked at the box and kissed Logan as a thank you. You opened the box and saw dog tags with your info on it and a picture of you and Logan.

“Well this, this is actually for me.” he said as he took your dog tags and with his other hand, he took his own off his neck and gave it to you.

“This is the one that’s actually for you. You know, I really missed you when I was out on the mission, and I know you miss me too when I’m gone so I thought this was a good way for me to always have a piece of you and you always have a piece of me. I also know how much you like that picture, so-” You interrupted him by kissing him.

“Thank you. I love it!” you said and he looked at you like you were an angel. His angel. “I love you, Logan.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

You cupped Logan’s cheeks and kissed him.

Both of you cuddled for the rest of the night and were finally able to fall asleep next to each other after so many nights apart. You were able to be next to each other, to feel the other's warmth.

That was the best night’s sleep both of you have had last week.

Hope you liked it!

xoxo, kim ryoko

[kpop---scenarios]

Whispers Of The Night (3)

Pairing: Stray Kids x Reader

Genre: Vampire! Au, College! Au

Summary: You just want to live a happy life, but currently, that wasn't happening. It's not until you meet 8 strangers who turn your life upside down and you discover what they are.

Warning: Mentions of blood, Drinking, Violence [this is an 18+ story; will contain smut in future chapters]

Word Count: 3k

A/N: AND AS ALWAYS THANK YOU @skzdust FOR YOUR HELP I'M ETERNALLY GRATEFUL BESTIE

Taglist: @steddie-steddie @hongtyong @purple-bell

Everything Taglist: @wife2straykidss @piscesrising01 @baby-stay92 @kisses-too-the-moon

@dwaekkiiracha @silly250 @rylea08 @imperfectlyperfectprincess1

@satosugu4l @gabriellamarie @tsunderelino @iovecb97

@1810cl @lordmaahes-nsc @sailorkoss @minh0scat

@pixie0627 @50-husbands @jinnies-muse @yaorzu-blog

@anskiiz @joyofbebbanburg @number1jeonginstan @skzooluvr

@jisunglyricist @ambersnowxxx @ayyonoona @31maze13

@stay-tiny-things @thegingerthatwaited @hoesheez

@stayatinykatsy @catlove83 @jeonginstulip @kaleigh-2002

@honeycombbaybee @hyuneyeon @flylis @kpop-choco

@chloe-elise-2000 @eastjonowhere @stephanieeeyang

Part One | Part Two

The two days that you spent at the SKZ house, as they called it, were… interesting to say the least. You woke up on the earlier side to make sure you had enough time to get to class, and each day they were all awake, watching TV, working out, doing homework. You'd offer to make them breakfast as you made your own, but they all claimed to have eaten just after they woke up. There were no dishes in the sink, the same amount of food in the fridge. Not to mention their beds were always made up the same every morning. You'd never met college guys who were so… put together. It was throwing you off a little.

“So.” Sam smiles. “These guys you stayed with for a couple nights… any chance you're going to move on from Mark?” She asks.

You can't help it, but you roll your eyes at her question. You still weren't sure what you were going to do about him. You hadn't confronted him, fuck, tou hadn't even spoken to him since San dropped that ball on you the other day. While there was an attraction to, well, let's be honest, all of them, you technically, were still Mark's girlfriend, so the chance of you doing anything was even lower than zero. You weren't a cheater, you never understood the desire to hurt the person you're supposed to love most in this world but that's more than you can say for Mark.

“I mean, yeah they're all extremely attractive.” You laugh. “But I'm still with Mark, and until I figure out what I'm going to be doing, I won't be doing anything with them.” You murmur.

“Them!?” Sam gasps. “You wanna fuck them all.” She laughs. “I always knew you were fucking kinky.”

“Sam!” You laugh. “Jesus christ.”

The two of you laugh, finishing up your makeup, before getting dressed and heading out. Sam had wanted to get ready at the house with the boys, but with all the testosterone radiating in that house, you needed out for a few hours. Luckily for the both of you, Sam's parents were out of the evening so you had the house to yourselves.

“Come on, some shots before we go.” She says, walking into the kitchen. She grabs two shots glasses, pouring you each a shot of vodka.

“We cannot show up sober. A few shots each should do the trick.” She laughs.

You don't say anything, instead welcome the liquid burning your throat as you take shot after shot, desperately hoping for it to erase all your problems for at least one night. Once you were feeling tipsy enough, you and Sam got into your Uber, heading over to the boy's house. When you pull up, the party is already in full swing. There are people out in the front yard drinking, the front door is wide open, welcoming anyone and everyone to join.

“Wow.” Sam gasps. “This looks crazy!”

You laugh, grabbing her hand, pulling her towards the front door. The moment you stepped foot into the house, it was like all 8 of them knew you were there. Very quickly and one by one, they came up to you, giving you a hug to say hi and saying hi to Sam. By the time Minho, who was the last one to come up to you, said hi, Sam had smacked you so many times you thought you'd have a bruise in the shape of her hand on your arm for sure.

“Let's get a drink.” You murmur, pulling her towards the kitchen, not letting her say what you knew she desperately wanted too.

“They're all so fucking hot.” She yells into your ear as you're pouring you both drinks. You laugh as your stomach twists with anxiety. Yes they were, and you were definitely having troubles with that. As the two of you take a couple sips of your drinks, you begin to hear what sounds like a commotion in the living room.

“I know she's here, and I dont fucking appreciate you forcing her to live here! I'm her fucking boyfriend… me!” You hear.

Your stomach drops.

“Mark.” You whisper.

“Don't go out there. Just stay here. Maybe he'll leave.” Sam says. At this point the music had been turned way down, and everyone was crowding around all 8 men and Mark. You knew he wouldn't leave. He was too fucking stubborn. You pushed your way through the crowd of people until you stood beside Hyunjin, who glanced over at you, worriedly.

“What the fuck, y/n.” Mark snaps, motioning to the men. “So what, you're just out here being a whore now?” He asks.

Hyunjin steps forward, but Jeongin pulls him back. “Excuse me?” You ask. “No, I just figured we were done since you can't keep your dick in your pants.” You snap back.

“What the hell are you even talking about?” Mark groans, rolling his eyes.

“San told me, don't play fucking dumb.” You spit. “You never stopped seeing Chae, even after begging, and crying on your knees for me to stay.” You yell.

You wanted to laugh along with those laughing in the crowd, while Mark looked embarrassed.

“Why would I still see her if I told you I only wanted you?” He asks.

“Why would San lie about that? He's your best friend.” You say.

“Yeah, my best friend who's… in…love with you!” Mark mutters.

“What?” You respond. There was no way. Absolutely no way. You'd never gotten those vibes from San, not in the two years that you had been with Mark.

“Why else would he say that?” Mark asks. “Think about it.”

“I am thinking about it, and you're full of shit.” You laugh. “There's no way that San feels like that.”

“I don't feel like what?” San asks, pushing his way through the crowd.

“Mark here says that you lied about Chae, because you're in love with me.” You say. The alcohol you had drank was making you more courageous than you'd ever been in your life. Sober you would never.

“What the fuck?” San laughs. “No offense, y/n but I have a girlfriend that I love very much.” He says. “And Mark's known about her since we started dating, a year and a half ago.”

You turn your head, glaring at Mark, who in turn is glaring at San.

“Interesting.” You mutter, rolling your eyes.

“Whatever, this isn't a conversation that should happen around others.” Mark scoffs. He grabs your wrist, yanking you towards him. “C'mon, let's go home.” He says.

“You know what, Mark?” You begin. “No.” You say, trying to free your wrist from his grasp.

“Y/n, now is not the time.” He snaps, looking around the room.

“I'm done. We're done. I don't trust you anymore. You've done nothing but lie to me. It's over.” You yell, pulling as hard as you can to free yourself.

“What's going on?” You hear from behind you, a familiar voice echoing through the almost silent room.

“Mark, you're hurting me!” You whine. Your wrist is beginning to throb and ache as you try to free yourself.

“Let her go.” You hear the same voice. Suddenly, Chan is beside you, his hand on top of Mark's. Chan didn't look like he was putting in any effort, but Mark's gave away how much pain he was in. Chan rips Mark's hand from around your wrist, pushing him back. Mark falls down to the floor.

“You're sleeping with him aren't you? Fucking whore.” Mark screams. Chan chuckles, taking two steps towards Mark, punching him in the face. You can hear the thump from his body dropping to the floor followed by the cries as he holds his face.

“We're not done! You won't find anyone like me! You're mine!” Mark screams.

Chan turns around to face you, and you weren't sure if it was because he saved you, or you were drunk, maybe a bit of both. But you walked up to him, grabbed his face, and quickly pressed your lips to his. Chan wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you in closer. You can hear Mark swearing as San pulls him out the front door.

You break away from the kiss. You can't look Chan in the eyes. You turn away, your eyes now searching for Sam, and when you find her, her eyes are wide with a giant smile on her face. You push through the crowd, leaving Chan standing there as you grab her arm, dragging her into the kitchen. You open a bottle of something, you don't even care what it is. You put the bottle to your lips, chugging it, ignoring the burning sensation in your throat.

“Bitch.” Sam gasps as you put the bottle back down onto the counter, breathing heavily.

“Did I just do that?” You ask, staring at your best friend.

“Yeah.” She laughs. “Yes you did.”

“Oh my god.” You groan, drinking a little more.

“Okay, alright.” She laughs, taking the bottle from your hand. “Let's not black out.” She murmurs. It was too late. You were already gone.

The next morning, you wake up with the worst headache in the world. Sleeping on the couch for the last few days definitely did not help your body when it desperately needed to recover. You were sore, stiff and felt like you'd been run over by a truck. And then you remembered ending things with Mark.

“Fuck.” You gasp, dropping your head into your hands.

“Everything okay, beautiful?” Hyunjin asks, walking into the living room, plopping down onto the couch beside you.

“I broke up with Mark.” You murmur.

“It's about time, y/n.” Jeongin chimes in.

“Yeah, honestly. He's fucking awful, and that's coming from me.” Seungmin chuckles.

“Yeah, no, I know he was. But I just… I don't know what to do now.” You say. “All my stuff is there… and I have nowhere to go.”

“The fuck are we then? Did we become temporary housing and no one told me?” Minho asks. “You've been here for days, y/n. Let's just go get your stuff and make it official.” Changbin smiles.

“That's really sweet you guys… but.” You trail off.

“But what? You can't live with 8 guys?” Felix laughs.

“I can't sleep on this fucking couch anymore.” You fake cry. “My back… it hurts so bad.”

Everyone laughs.

“Well, it's a good thing there's a bedroom ready for you then.” Chan smiles.

You hadn't seen him since you kissed him. That you remembered very, very vividly, and you couldn't help but feel embarrassed. In what world would any of these gods like men, actually like you?

“Wait.” You pause, thinking about what Chan said. “A bedroom?” You ask.

“Of course.” He smiles. “You think we'd ask you to move in here and make you sleep on the couch?” Han laughs. “I mean… Seungmin or Minho might but not the rest of us.”

“You're not wrong.” Seungmin smiles.

“Wow.” You laugh. “Thank you guys.”

“Let’s not get all sappy here.” Minho mumbles. “Can we go get your stuff now?”

“Yeah.” You smile.

The nine of you get ready to head over to your old shared apartment with Mark, unsure of what was going to happen.

You stood outside the door, the number 7 on the door looked different, even though it had only been a few days. You took a deep breath, glancing over at the 8 men that were waiting a little down the hall. You had told them that you needed to do this part by yourself. You were worried that if he opened the door and all of them were standing there, he might end up in a fit of rage. Though, you should have known better that he would end up in one regardless. You knocked on the door, putting your hands behind your back as you waited for him to answer. The door was pulled open, and Mark looked shocked to see you, before a smug ‘I knew she would be back’ look spread across his face.

“Y/N.” He breathes. You put your hand up to stop him from saying whatever he wanted to next.

“I'm just here to grab my stuff.” You explain, avoiding any eye contact with him. He doesn't move out of your way. You want to go inside and start packing the things that belong to you but he stands there still staring.

“Y/N.” He says in a low tone. “Don't be like that, baby.” He smiles. “C'mon. You know you wanna come back home.”

“Actually, what I'd like, is for you to get the fuck out of my way so I can get my stuff and go.” You say, giving Mark your best, annoyed smile.

“And if I don't?” He asks. “If I don't get out of your way? Then what? You gonna punch me like your little boyfriend did?” He mocks.

“No.” You sigh. “But they might hit you.” You say, motioning down the hallway. Mark peeks his head around the door frame, seeing 8 angry and annoyed looking men leaning against the wall.

“You’re such a bitch.” He mumbles, stepping out of your way. You smile, waving to the guys to come with you inside.

You walk past Mark, and can hear him grumbling as each man steps inside. They're all taller, more muscular, better looking, smarter, and funnier than Mark was, and he knew it too.

“Lets get this done, and get the fuck out of here.” You say, everyone scatters to tackle a room. It took the nine of you 4.5 hours, and a trillion questions about what was yours, for you all to finally finish. Mark didn't help at all, and that wasn't a surprise. He didn't want you to leave or leave him, and he was sure to continuously let you know throughout the afternoon.

“Y/N, wait.” Mark says, as you follow the guys out of the apartment. You don't wait, until he grabs your wrist again.

“Let go.” You spit. “This didn't end well for you the last time and it won't end well this time either.”

“Just wait a fucking minute.” He grumbles. “Don't go. Stay with me. Please.”

“No.” You deadpan. “I have no interest in being lied to or cheated on any longer. I hope I never see you again.”

You rip your wrist from his grip, walking down the hall.

“I'll have you again! You'll see! You'll be back when they inevitably kick your ass out!” He screams.

If only he knew how that would never happen.

“Ready?” Changbin asks, grinning from ear to ear. His hand was on the door knob for your room, and honestly you were so excited.

“Yes! Please open it.” You say, nearly falling over from excitement. He turns the knob, opening the door and your jaw is almost on the floor. It was exactly your style, a nice queen bed sitting in the middle of the room that was painted your favorite color. Everything matched, every single part of the room was your exact vibe and you were eternally grateful.

You had put a lot of your stuff in storage, since they had all told you that you wouldn't need a lot of it. To be honest you thought they were full of shit, but here they were, definitely not full of shit.

“We'll let you get settled.” Chan smiles, ushering the men to leave you be.

“Thank you guys. Really. I love it.” You smile.

It felt weird. To have people who truly cared for you like they did. You were worried that they would turn on you, because that seems to be the trend for people in your life. Your mom, dad, Mark, past friends. There was always something that made them leave you. You already felt a strong bond with all 8 of them, so you hoped nothing like that would happen but honestly, you can never truly prepare for the future.

That night, you sat outside on the front porch by yourself, wrapped in one of your new blankets from your new room. It was almost entirely pitch black out, almost silent except for the sounds of cars passing and the faint sounds of people walking by. The only light you had was the cherry from your roach, each time you took a puff, as well as the stars that scattered throughout the sky. The moon was high, shining down on the trees. It was a truly beautiful night.

You felt so relieved and free tonight. Mark hated when you smoked weed, so you weren't ever able to. But now with him out of the picture, you were excited to be able to partake in your favorite way to relax and unwind. You inhaled a long puff, slowly blowing it back out, enjoying the way it was making you feel. You weren’t very high, but it was enough. You lean your head back, closing your eyes, taking a breath when you hear a noise. A grunt, maybe. Your eyes shoot open, you see Jeongin walking towards the front steps of the house. As he walks closer, you see him more clearly under the front door light. There's blood dripping down his face. Your stomach sinks. He looks mad. You stand up, dropping your blanket on the porch, rushing towards him.

“Hey, Jeongin.” You start, popping up in front of him.

His eyes. They're red.

“Are you okay?” You ask, motioning towards the blood. He doesn't respond. He doesn't move. It doesn't even look like he's breathing. You can feel the tension surrounding you and him. It was making your stomach churn.

He stares at you, it almost feels like his eyes are burning through your skin.

Your eyes close.

When they open, the sun is shining through your window. You're laying in your bed, your blanket, that you dropped covering you.

What the fuck happened last night?

[am-i-interrupting]

Can’t Go Back | Silco x Reader

Chapter 3 | Pushed Under the Waves

Summary: You had a long, complicated history with Silco before he became the Eye of Zaun. You thought you’d buried it a long time ago. It all starts to re-emerge from the ground when Vander dies and Powder is found in the hands of Silco.

Time felt like it passed by extremely fast and incredibly slow. Most days it felt like just yesterday that you were at the rubble where you found Vander and the boys. Yet it felt like it’d be forever before you saw Jinx (as she was insistent you call her even if it made your stomach curl) again.

It’d been eight months since you stopped fighting. You and Silco had founded a routine. Jinx was with him while you worked and vice versa. Most nights she stayed at The Drop but roughly a week or so worth of nights each month she’d stay with you.

She would curl up in the bed with Ekko after a long day of tinkering and toying and bickering and playing together, just being kids. Even if both of them had haunted looks in their eyes that wouldn’t go away.

Occasionally on those nights she would wake up and go to where you slept on the couch. She would grab your hand and pull you into the bedroom. You’d wrap your arms around her as you both laid down. Normally Ekko would stir at this and roll into your awaiting arms with her.

You cherished those nights.

Tonight, you were throwing yourself into work. At least, that’s what you had planned until Babette informed you, you had been bought out by one person for the night.

You went to the designated meeting spot that had been given. Some people didn’t like being separated from others with only a mere curtain, you could understand that. However, you couldn’t help but feel on edge.

“No,” you said simply as you turned to walk out immediately upon seeing who it was.

A hand grabbed your wrist and you jerked it away. You reared your hand back and punched him in the face.

He faltered for a moment. You went to continue your walk away but he was stubborn. He followed you. It wasn’t until you were out of the building though that he managed to grab you again. This time a tight grip around your forearm instead of a careful one.

“Have a smoke with me,” the velvet voice said. “That’s all I ask.”

You sighed. “Fine.”

You gave in too easily. You knew that. You reprimanded yourself for it. Still, you followed him to the edges of the water.

Another event flashed before your eyes instead of just the one today was the anniversary of.

Running. Adrenaline high. A vague ache in your torso and with each contact your feet had with the ground.

You had been desperate.

There was a slice that rang through the air as Silco cut a cigar. A nice click of his lighter as it opened.

You looked at him. His ocean eye on your side.

He held the cigar between his teeth as the light grew closer to the end of it. His other hand came up and curled around the flame. Slowly the end sparked with a red hue.

His lips pressed against the cigar as he inhaled. His right hand slipping the lighter back in his pocket. His pointer finger wrapped around the top as he used his others to stabilize it.

He drug it away from his mouth. His hand fell to his side for a moment as he closed his eyes and let his head tilt back. Then he carefully exhaled.

He took another puff before he handed it off to you.

“Where’s Jinx?” you asked as you plucked the cigar from him.

“Sedated,” he said causing you to pause, “she had a fit this morning when she realized what day it was. She kept hitting herself, throwing things, talking to her ghosts. I tried talking her down but nothing worked. Sevika brought the doctor in and he sedated her. Not my preferred method but whatever works, I suppose.”

“You should have gotten me.” You took a drag. “I know her better than all of you combined. I could have figured something out,” you said as smoke flooded out your mouth with your words.

“I thought of it but I was more concerned with making sure she didn’t hurt herself severely. Sevika disappeared as soon as the girl threw a knife at her. Came back twenty minutes later with the doctor in tow.”

Your own voice rang in your head from years ago. “She’s got good instincts.”

You said nothing in reply.

Your heart ached at the pain of your girl. You hated that she was going through this.

Thankfully, Ekko was doing much better. At least in comparison to throwing things and hurting himself. He’d requested that you give him his space but you knew where he was. He was at Benzo’s shop, rundown, ragged, and abandoned.

It was truly a miracle that in a years time someone hadn’t snatched it on up and claimed it as their own or that it’s managed to keep its walls free from addicts and those without any roof.

You wanted to buy it but some of your top buyers hadn’t been coming down. Scared shitless of being caught up in the fights. Only within the past month have some started to drip back down to the Lanes.

“Why are we here, Silco?” you asked.

“A man died here, years ago,” Silco began. “You need to let him go in order to move on with life. I’m not him anymore.”

You looked him in the eye. You felt your nostrils begin to sting as your eyes watered.

“I know.”

Silco took the last drag left in the cigar and flicked it into the water. The waves pulled it down until it was beneath the black.

He stepped forward. The water lapped at his shoes. He turned and extended a hand to you.

“He tried to find you,” you told him. “Vander was sorry.”

A bit of the coldness melted away. His arm slumped a bit. No longer straight and rigid but more relaxed. Still, it was reaching for you.

“No matter what he did to you and no matter what you did to him, he still loved you,” you said as you let your hand slip into his.

His hands were cold, long, and wrapped delicately around your own. Engulfing it in his icy touch.

“We tried to find you for months but you didn’t want to be found,” you continued on. “You didn’t even come to their funerals.

“All we wanted was to get to independence and peace but we’re not anywhere near close. How are you any closer to achieving that compared to Vander?”

He didn’t answer you.

You shoved his shoulder with the hand that wasn’t in his hold. “Huh?”

The water was up to your hips.

He didn’t reply.

“There’s been fighting and death and people are dying every day on the streets because of what you put in them! What’s the point? How does this help anyone? How does this make them—“ you gestured at the buildings in the distance— “respect us? All they’re seeing are animals fighting for scraps!

The water was above your chest now, reaching for your shoulders if the waves were strong enough.

He stopped. He turned to you and took both your hands in his. You held his gaze for a minute before you sighed. You let your head thump against his shoulder, uncaring that water lapped at your chin.

“How does this fix things because all I see are more problems,” you said, your voice going quiet.

“We tried to fight for our independence. We tried before and we failed. These are the trails to make our fight succeed,” Silco said. “There will be loss but this way we have subjects who are willing.”

“They’re addicted,” you corrected.

“Would you rather I kidnap people off the street?” he asked. “Pay them to? What money would go back into the trails if we gave it away just to test?”

“Did you even think about trying to strike a deal?” you asked.

“Our tongues are practiced in different forms, even combined, did they ever listen to us before? We need to scare them and if they want a war, we need to win.”

You let your weight fall against him. Felt his hands move to your elbows to adjust. His breath warmed your skin in comparison to the water.

You felt him slowly begin to pull you both down. You didn’t fight it.

“Are you going to kill me?” you asked.

“If I wanted to, I would have done it when I killed Vander,” he said it with such ease.

A tear fell down your cheek. “How comforting.”

The water tickled your lips. You got half a second of warning to suck in a breath before you were under.

In the freezing waters, Silco was warm. You let your eyes close. Your head rested against his own. His hair tickled your face as the soft currents made it sway and dance.

You let your arms wrap around Silco’s middle. He hugged you back.

Together you stayed like that until the inevitable need to breathe befell the both of you. Silco’s foot kicked the bottom of the floor and brought the two of you to the surface, where standing upright the water was beneath you.

You didn’t let go for one moment, then two. You wanted to hold on, keep this moment of peace between you.

He let go first.

Your hands slowly went from his back to his shoulders and down his arms. You opened your eyes.

One sea foam green eye stared at you. The other a flame in the night.

He must have been wearing some kind of makeup because the skin around was blacked, almost necrotic.

He squeezed your elbows. His hands went down to yours. His fingers wrapped around your own. His thumb rubbed. He squeezed again. He walked away but didn’t let go until he was too far away to hold on.

You watched him leave.

You felt cold. The water was cold. The breeze was cold. Neither of those is what caused your feeling.

You stared at the water surrounding you. The waves clashing against each other. The current that tried to push through but went around you as it realized it couldn’t.

Your hands touched the surface. Ripples dispersed. The rings started off small. Then they stretched out as far as they could before they broke.

You breached the surface. Stood for a moment and simply felt. You felt the rush past your fingertips, tickling your skin.

Something slowly bubbled up inside you. It was warm.

You let yourself feel it, touch it, poke it, stoke it. It flared and quickly went from warm to hot to scorching.

Your jaw clenched and your nostrils flared. Your breathing quickened. You were struggling for air.

You slipped beneath the water once more. This time alone. The only source of heat coming from this feeling which overflowed, bubbling and boiling.

You let out an agonizing scream. Water filled your mouth, grimy and desolate. It aimed for your lungs. Going through your clenched teeth like breaking through a dam.

Breaching the water you coughed and heaved.

Your fingers went through your hair and pulled. You felt like you were being strangled. Like a frightened animal in a corner but with the anger of a beast protecting their pride.

You slammed your fists against the water and let another scream ripe through your lungs but this time it went through the air instead of the water.

Ekko didn’t question when you came into the apartment soaked. You didn’t question why his hands were covered in bandages.

In some weird way, you almost felt better.

There was so much going on. Fighting, bombs, guns, punches, yells, screams, struggles, death, life. All of it surrounded you.

Just moment ago you’d been aiming at enforcers. Now you were running. Tears in your eyes as your breathing came out in strangled puffs. You couldn’t keep it down. You couldn’t keep the air in.

You wiped at your tears. Scratched them off your skin.

A yell, his yell. You picked up the pace.

Distantly, oh so distantly you registered ache in your torso that went down and doubled with each contact your feet had with the ground.

But you were desperate.

You saw thrashing in the water. Above the waves one man, below the waves was the one you were more worried about.

Vander looked different. He looked murderous in way you’d never seen before. He looked dangerous in way that made you scared.

The man who’d only ever given you warmth and kindness was scaring you. He scared you here now more than the enforcers ever had.

His hands were wrapped around the neck of Silco beneath the water. He was thrashing and clawing. Every few seconds his hands would come up from the water.

You yelled out both their names but neither responded as you raced closer.

You heart dropped to your stomach when the thrashing stopped. If he could last a few seconds more.

Tears poorer down your face, heated streams of worry and grief. Just a few seconds more.

Vander’s breath left him and he stepped back in the water. Silco’s head bolted up from beneath. He scrambled to his feet. Vander tried to grab him, push him back down. A backward slash to his arm allowed Silco to get away.

The water soaked through your boots as you raised your hand and pointed your gun. This time not at enforcers but your friend.

Your head turned to watch Silco run. Blood tainted the water. It dripped down his face but his hand covered it as he ran.

“Don’t make me shoot you,” you said, voice far more steady and stern than you felt.

Vander took a step closer as Silco still ran. You squeezed your finger around the trigger. The bullet swirled past his head. A warning.

Your lips trembled.

“Don’t think I won’t!”

You readjusted your aim towards his chest.

Vander held his arm that leaked into the water and grunted. Looked at you, past you and then back again. He yelled through clenched teeth as he walked the other way. He picked up his mining gloves and back into the real fight he went.

You stood, staring at the water. It was a murky brown, tinged red with blood.

The reality of what happened sunk in and weighed on you heavier than an anchor.

Your gun fell from your hand. It misfired into the bloodstained river.

You stood for one, two, three, four seconds? Minutes? Hours?

At some point you just snapped into action and ran toward where Silco had. You were only able to follow his trail so far before the blood had been completed washed by the rain.

You collapsed at the end of the trail. The tears never stopped but they doubled down harder.

Fari, dead. Felicia, dead. Connol, dead. Vander, dead to you. Silco, gone.

Your head tilted down towards the pavement as your body curled in. Your hands went to your middle, clutched in fists where your heart was. Almost like if you tried hard enough you could rip your heart from your chest and take the pain with it.

Not once had you ever felt like this before in your life. You weren’t sure you would survive it. It hurt, throbbing a painful beat in your body. With every breath, every movement, every second the pain worsened.

You passed out in the alleyway.

You awoke to a hard pushing against your shoulder. Your eyes opened and you winced at the few scattered bits of sunlight the Lanes got. You rubbed at the sleep in your eyes and tried again. This time the world was less blurry.

Benzo.

“Come on,” he said, heaving you up. “The kids are worried about you.”

You let your head fall against his torso. His arm around you was the only thing keeping you upright.

“Right good scare you gave all of us,” he said with a forced laugh. “We were worried you’d have run off.”

He tried to lift the spirits. Bless him, he did try. However, there was no fixing this right now.

The Last Drop came into view and you stopped.

“Don’t let me see Vander,” you said, spitting out his name like a curse. “I don’t want to kill him in front of the kids.”

Benzo looked at you, worried and concerned. It took a moment for him to realize you were serious.

“Alright,” he said, “give me a second.”

He walked into the bar before you. You leaned against the wall beside the door. You felt numb. You felt heartless. You felt cold.

[vulpixisananimal]

[A:3 C:59] (Ramos) [TW for: Graphic violence and blood.]

(Ugh, what time was it? The sun was just peeking through the window, ah, morning twilight. You turn in bed and feel next to you. . . Oh! Siffrin got up already. On the far side you can see Isa still snoring away. Heh, you were kinda impressed.)

(You yawn and get up. Siffrin must have not slept very well, poor fella. They didn’t take the news that Merlon and Perci were back to their bullshit very well. But it’s alright, you all agreed to be careful and make plans for how to deal with them today. . .)

(. . . You quickly get dressed. Yeah, you should check on Sif. Make sure he’s okay, maybe go on a jog- no, no you’ll do gardening. Or maybe play cards! You did like playing cards back in the day. . . And, by back in the day that was, five or six months ago? Stars. . . Being frozen really sucked.)

(You glance at the dreamlight. . . Maybe later.)

(You open the door, walk downstairs, nice and quiet. It sounded like everyone was still asleep, heh, maybe it was Asterion who woke up and was making breakfast. You hoped he was okay, he seemed stressed, too. Especially because of. . . That.)

(You shake your head. Plan today? Probably get those prescriptions for Sif, get supplies, shop, all that. Maybe go visit Ark? Maybe, if Null trusts you enough anyways. You make it downstairs to see that everything was just like yesterday. . .)

(. . . . . Eri would be making coffee right about now.)

(You shake your head. Can’t think about that right now. It doesn’t look like Sif is in the living room, sooo you continue into the kitchen.)

(There’s a chopping board out, as well as some ingredients to make some egg concoction you think. Scrambled eggs? Something like that? It looks like they only got started a little bit ago.)

(. . . What’s that sound?)

(Crying? Yeah it. . . It sounded like, quiet crying, and mumbling. Looking around, the side door that led to the pantry was open. You walk over to it.)

(Siffrin. . . Asterion? You don’t know, but they were curled up on the ground, shaking, mumbling something, and didn’t even notice you approach.)

(. . You kneel down in front of them and talk softly.) “. . . Sif? Is, everything. . ?”

“--‘msorry--” (Their eye locks on you, still shaking, you could barely understand them.) “msorryms-sosorr-”

[JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!!!]

(You wince, that was. . Loops voice, Loops thoughts, you, okay, breathe, focus- |P-please I’mplease’msorrsorry-| Oh, oh stars-)

<Shut it. You won't die, and we’re going to enjoy it!>

|P-please, i-ithurts-- I-I--|

[Good! That’s what I WANT!!!]

(Oh night. T-that’s- what do you do?!? You look around, no-one’s up!! You couldn’t leave him alone!! A-and, you promised him- STARS!! You shake your head, then breathe, and gently place your hand on their head.)

(You breathe. . . In. . . . Out. . . . Let the world, wash, away.)

(. . . It was easier this time. You blink, and you’re there once again. Lightless sky, stars, sea. But you can’t focus on any of that, you turn.)

(Asterion, he looks so different here. Shackled wrists, blood on his hands; he was crumpled at the base of the favor tree. Loop was looming over him, kicking him over and over again. Null was crouched down with a knife ready to stab.)

(Y-you, you didn’t know what to do. You stood a few feet away, watching. It was the KING! The person who, w-who, who ruined your life!! B-but, you felt like, l-like it was- RAMOS?!?)

[WHAT?!?!]

(You’re running forward as Loop is already turning to look at you! Get AWAY, what are you doing?!?! You shove them to the side.)

<This isn’t your business, Ramos. You stand, and put a hand on their shoulder. Leave.> 

(You turn and slap his hand away. Are you insane?!?! Of COURSE it’s my business!!)

[SHUT THE HELL UP!!! You have your dagger, you point it at them. This is NOT! YOUR! BUSINESS!!!]

(You place yourself between them and Asterion. I promised him to help talk to you guys once he was ready! Just, calm down a second and LISTEN!! Your body’s collapsed on the floor this is causing ISSUES!!)

[I’M NOT-]

(W-wait! You run up, next to Loop. It’s. . . A-at, at least hear him out?!? You know Ramos isn’t lying, you could feel your body, there was so much going on it was hard to properly move around. Please?)

[OF COURSE NOT! THEY’RE-]

[(A Stranger! What kind of stranger could we trust with the King? What kind of person would we be?)]

[GO. AWAY.]

(Loops body seemed. . . Glitchy? You heard that word before, when something is flickering in a way that makes no sense. Right, Saffron. Loop do you-]

[Not. From. YOU!!]

[(You’re fine! You’re just going to get rid of the problem! Then The Trainee can leave and it’ll all be fine! Wouldn’t we want that?)]

(Saffron! You turn to Null, then Siffrin, what should you do?)

<Talk to them. You turn to Ramos, sword back up pointing to them. Come on, Loop, Saffron, It could be fun to see how good these two are at begging.>

(Wh-!! You stare down at Null. He- oh, he’s giving you a look. O-okay okay I, I’ll beg and- just listen, please?!?)

[(. . . Hehe. Begging? From the King? From the Trainee? Why not! I like listening.)]

[. . . . Eugh, why bother. You KNOW what happened with the King last time you heard him out.]

(He’s not, he’s NOT the King! He’s not like him, okay? You lean down and offer your hand to Asterion.)

|. . . You, take their hand.|

[HE seems to think he is! Look at him, he’ll stab you in the back, I KNOW IT!!]

(He’s afraid! A-and, listen just, listen, okay? Please.)

[. . . . . .]

(. . . . . Okay?)

[. . . . . You have one chance.]

(O-okay, okay. . . Asterion, he’s only been kind, okay? He, he feels BAD for what h- the King did, okay? Look at him, he’s, he’s nothing like that, t-that-)

[Monster?]

<Murderer?>

(. . . Y-yeah. You help Asterion to his feet, he looks bruised, and hurt. He's nothing like that, if he WAS like the King, then, he’d look more like him, right? Without blood, without shackles.)

|. . . T-thank you-|

[Oh and you can just tell, can’t you? You can just TELL that he’s nothing like that by how he ACTS?!? Oh, o(h Trainee you rat! You know just how well someone can act, can’t you! So of course you’d know he’s lying to everyone.)]

(W-what do you-)

(Saff!!)

[Oh WHAT!! Stardust, do you want me to say it?!? How we STILL don’t trust them!?!?! After ALL THIS TIME?!?! Because it’s true~]

(I, Loop. You look at Ramos, Null, e-even Asterion. . . Loop I, I don’t get why you’re being so, so-)

[(Oh you don’t, host? Replacement? Body double? You don’t get why we don’t trust them after hurting you? After hurting us?)]

(You raise your hand to, to try and say something. Null stops you.)

<. . . Ramos has proven themself enough.>

[Oh not you too. You turn, eyes burning with anger.]

(Loop, stars you have to just, relax! Why are you insistent on this!!)

[BECAUSE IT’S YOU, STARDUST!!]

(. . . You, feel like you shouldn't be here for this. You’re helping keep Asterion upright, his arm on your shoulder.)

[BECAUSE YOU FINALLY GOT TO BE FREE FROM THAT HELL, AND I HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE ALIVE TO FEEL IT STILL!! You put a hand on their shoulder. Don’t you understand that?!?]

(So you’ll just, push anyone away who you can’t trust?!?!?)

[. . . Yes.]

(Loop. . .)

[QUIET YOU!! You turn back to Ramos. You know, maybe you are a good person! I’m sure you, Ramos, are a good person, or where~ But I don’t think I’m going to bother finding out!]

{In a blink, you’re there. Standing to the side. Loop.}

[FINALLY the shadow shows itself! Really, Mal, did you think I was threatening to kill them? Oh no, no no no. I just plan to never, EVER get close enough for them to backstab me!! That’s what you’d want, isn’t it~?]

{This is going too far.}

<You didn’t care when it was just Loop and I, why now?>

{. . . I have my reasons. Stop this.}

(. . . Mal? You turn to it, as intimidating as ever. It was strange, hearing it speak.)

{You should leave.}

|. . . You can’t look at any of them. Ramos, by your side. . .|

(You look at Asterion, how wounded he still is. I, I don’t think I should, not until I can make sure he’s-)

[What, until he’s SAFE?!? You step forward again, shoving Siffrin off of you. You have your dagger again. Oh I can make sure he’s safe alright, in a GRAVE!]

[You lunge at Asterion.]

{STOP!}

<WAIT! THAT’S- >

(N-NO!!!!)

|R-RAMOS-|

(. . . . .)

[?!?!!?!?!??!?!!?!]

(. . . . . . . . . .)

(. . . . Ha. . . Hhha. . . . O-ow. .)

(You, felt, Loops dagger, in your chest. You look down, and, and there it is. Down to the guard, and you’re sure it was poking out the other side. Ha. . . It probably struck lung, blood, muscle, m-maybe even your heart. . . N-not that it mattered, it’s, all, in your head.)

[R-ramos. . . They, they jumped in front of your attack. They defended Asterion from, from you. Your dagger, is, in, their, chest. O-oh, o-oh my, s-stars-]

(RAMOS- You run over, your hand on their shoulder, you-)

|-S-saved, me. . They, they-|

<-A Defender at heart.>

[Ramos, I- Y-you let go of your dagger and step back, I didn’t, mean-]

(Ha, ha. . . Y-yeah, you get it. You felt dizzy, you felt like you were falling. You’re just, really easy to hate, always have been.)

[N-no I! I didn’t mean to stab you I, I-]

(Ramos what, you’re, a-are you still-)

(You did tell me, you killed me once. Heh, now it’s, it’s. . . It’s alright, it’ll, be. . .)

|P-please! You hold onto them, Don’t go-|

[I, NO!! I’M, I’M SORRY I, I--]

(You. . . Haha. . . You saved Asterion, at least. . . Kept, your promise. You’re, not useless. . .)

[RAMOS!! PLEASE JUST, LOOK AT ME!]

(N-NONONONO-)

|R-Ramos! Rams!! I-I, I’m sorry I, didn’t want you, to, t-to, to get hurt because of me!!|

(. . . . .)

(Look at me, LOOK AT ME RAMOS!! PLEASE!!! P-please just, stay, be okay, you’ll be okay! P-please I, Ramos, RAMOS!!)

(. . . . . You. . . . .) 

[I-I, I’m, I’m so, s-so sorry-]

(You. Close. Your. Eyes.)

---

(Constellation)

Your eyes bolt open as you hear a body hit the floor. You’re in the pantry a-and, Ramos is, on the floor in front of you.

“R-Ra, Ramos?!?!” You jump to their side, patting them, turning them on their back. T-they, they, ththheh, bhej-- c-check, check breathing, breathing, pp-pleasepleplas- BREATHING!!

THEY’RE BREATHING!! B-BUT, WHY AREN’T THEY--

You slap them, you shake them, you scream their name. You pry their eyes open. 

They. Don’t. Respond. 

You, you breathe, in,

And, Scream.

You scream, and scream, and scream.

You hear thunderous footsteps. Someone running. Isabeau running. Odile. Mirabelle. Talking to you. They’re talking to you. You can’t string words together.

You’re holding tight to Ramos. Odile checks them, Mira checks them, Isabeau holds you. You don’t want to let them go. You have to let them go. Nille is picking them up. You have to let them go. You let Nille take them. There’s talk of a doctor. There’s talk that they’re alive. There’s questions. You answer. You don’t know what you answer with. You answer. . .

Why aren’t you looping back?

You’re not. Looping back.

Ramos is fine you’re not looping Ramos is fine they’re they’re fine they’re fine fine fine. F-fine. Fine. Please. Please. Please.

Please.

Please.

. . . . .

[You got a Memory of Trust. You will always remember this.]

[When equipped you. . . You get the idea.]

[Only Loop and Saffron can use this memory.]

[jakef3ver]

Nishimura Riki | NDA

☁︎︎︎ Idol!riki x fan!reader | fem!reader

↯ fluff, crack maybe suggestive a little more into the fic, use of social media (instagram, twt), reader is just a regular girl going to school and stuff

⚠︎︎ will contain mentions of alcohol consume later

lil note: i wanted to post this wayyyy earlier but i couldn’t type because i broke my right arm like 3 weeks ago lmao

-xxx-xxxxx-xxxx Text me :)-

It was shortly after 10 PM when you arrive at your little apartment, just as you walked through the door you receive a text from your boss, Mrs Mina.

Of course you could cover a shift, a little bit of extra money is always nice, isn't it?

Also, it’s just 4 hours and you hadn't anything planned anyway.

Since you had to get up early tomorrow, you quickly got ready for bed, to sleep earlier today.

BUT you couldn't get Nishimura Riki out of your head.

This goddam smile this morning in the cafe and the fact that out of all coffee places,

Ni-ki and Jake showed up at your workplace, had you tossing around in bed until you finally could close your eyes for good.

As soon as Riki hears his alarm go off, he's awake. And he's nervous. But he wants to try and look where it leads him.

He gets up from the hotel bed, takes a pen and rips off a small piece of paper from a notebook he always carries around.

He starts writing after shortly thinking about it again.

xxx-xxxxx-xxxx

Text me :)

He puts back the pen and his notebook before standing up and getting ready to accomplish his little mission with Jake.

After dressing up in some baggy joggers and an oversized hoodie, he carefully folds the little piece of paper and places it in his wallet.

After locking his room, he heads down to the hotel lobby and sends Jake a message.

“So what's your plan?” Jake asks while walking along with Riki in the direction of the cafe.

Riki pulls out the little paper piece that he had written just minutes ago.

“Here” he shows it to Jake “should be okay, right?” Riki asks, looking at Jake.

“Yeah that should do it” he answers “Just smile at her again like you did yesterday” he chuckles while finishing his sentence.

“Shut up” Ni-ki snaps and carefully puts his paper back into his wallet.

“Come on it’ll be fine, trust me” Jake exclaims “You're a hot guy with a nice smile” he finishes and ruffles Rikis hair.

“sure” Ni-ki mumbles as response.

After a short walk of 10 minutes, they reach the cafe, your workplace.

Before entering, Riki takes a deep breath.

“You got this Riki” Jake encourages him and gives him a pat on the back.

Jake walks in first, Riki following directly behind him, already holding the piece of paper in his hand.

As they walk up to the counter, Ni-ki doesn't see you standing there, waiting to take their orders in. He subtly glances around, searching for you. But you were nowhere to be found.

In fact, there was no one behind the counter.

Jake rings a little bell with a sign in front of it that says “Please ring if no one is here”.

And there you were, just a minute before your shift is over.

Jake orders the coffee he had yesterday, now tapping Riki who was lost in thoughts, signaling him it's his turn.

Riki turns to face you and hesitantly starts to speak, with a slight stutter in his voice.

As you went to go to the staff room, to take off your apron you heard the bell ring, signaling someone wants to order.

So you instantly turn and go back behind the counter.

As soon as you see WHO wants to order, you take a deep breath to keep yourself together.

“Hi, what can I get for you two?” you say, more composed than yesterday.

Jake and Ni-ki both order their drinks.

As Riki speaks, you notice a slight nervousness radiating from him.

Is he okay? You think to yourself, while typing in their orders.

You tell them the total for their order and Ni-ki pulls out his wallet and hands you more money than needed

“Ju-just keep the rest” he tells you with a small smile.

You nod and put the money into the little cash register. While doing so, you notice a small piece of paper.

He must’ve accidentally given it to you with the money. So you decide to put it aside and give it to him when handing them their drinks.

And so you do, you hand both of them their coffee.

“here you accidentally gave this to me with the money” you say to Riki, your voice a little shaky.

He looks at the piece of paper and shakes his head. “it’s for you” he says so quietly it is nearly impossible to hear, but you still understand.

Jake says goodbye with a smile before going, while Riki just quickly leaves.

As soon as they were out of the cafe, you rush to the staff room to look at the paper, which you didn’t do until now.

xxx-xxxxx-xxxx

Text me :)

“No fucking way” you whisper. That couldn’t be happening right now, could it?

“No fucking way that this was meant for me” you speak to yourself.

You quickly get rid of the Apron and grab your bag to rush home, with the piece of paper carefully placed in your pocket.

masterlist | previous | next

tags: @chaevibes @yangjungwonnie @minskzy @d-dilemma @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @ssiiwave @deadpool15 @enhabooks

[haddonfieldwhore]

i swear i’ll never leave again - aleksander barkov

aleksander barkov x reader 🌴 part 2 to florida!!!

summary: an old flame has been rekindled; is the second time the charm?

warnings: a mixture of aleksander and sasha used throughout, angst/bittersweet, nsfw implied

word count: 1.9k

the cool water of the evening tide tickled your toes as it crept up the shore of the beach, the wind blowing softly over your bare skin and sending a shiver up your spine. the sun had begun to set, painting the sky in vivid shades of orange and pink, with fluffy white clouds stretching across the sky.

“do you want to head home?” sasha asked, sitting next to you and placing a kiss on your shoulder. you shivered again from his touch, and leaned into him, resting your head against his chest. his white t-shirt was slightly damp and clinging to his skin in spots where his torso had still been wet from the ocean when he’d put it on.

“not yet,” you sighed, closing your eyes and listening to the sound of the water.

if you went home - sasha meaning his house where you were staying - the night was over; your last night in florida.

it had been 3 months since you and sasha had first reconnected, and any chance that you could see eachother since then, the two of you had found a way to make it happen. whether he was in your hometown for a game, or he paid for you to come spend a few days with him in florida while he was home, like he had done now.

you had spent the last 3 days glued to him, and you were dreading waking up tomorrow morning, knowing you would be going home; and going to bed alone.

“it’s getting late,” he said, a defeated tone in his voice. “your flight is pretty early tomorrow, you should get some sleep.”

you knew he was right, even if you didn’t want him to be. he always was.

“can’t we just stay here like this forever?” you asked, crawling into his lap, straddling his legs that were outstretched in front of him. his large hands slid up your thighs, brushing crystals of sand off your skin in their wake, and up your sides until they cradled your face.

“i want to,” he agreed, smiling softly until he saw a tear fall from your eye, and his face fell. his thumb gently wiped it away, and he kissed your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment.

“we must have something good here, or else it wouldn’t be so hard to say goodbye,” you sighed.

“it doesn’t have to be goodbye,” he offered.

“sasha-“ you looked down. “i don’t want to leave.”

“you don’t have to,” he replied. “i don’t want to watch you go again.” this was the first time he had said it out loud, even if you both knew it already. you thought back to finland, when you walked away from your life with him the first time, and the piece of you that had been missing ever since. until now.

“i want to, more than anything. but i have a whole life back home, a job, my friends…” you said, but you knew in your heart that your home was here, with him. you were just scared to admit it. if he asked you to leave it all behind and stay here, you knew you wouldn’t be able to say no.

“i know,” he pulled you close, kissing your neck softly as he nestled his face against your collarbone. “i know.”

if you could freeze time, you would have in that moment. you didn’t know what else to say, so you said nothing, opting to sit in silence and try to enjoy the feeling of being wrapped up in eachothers arms.

•

two months passed without seeing sasha again, and it was starting to wear on you noticeably. it wasn’t for lack of trying, but your schedules didn’t line up, and you could only afford to take so many vacations from work.

your friend jamie was currently over, and while you were trying to be a good host, you were not in the mood to entertain. you had told her about sasha when you got back from florida the first time, after you had spent the remainder of your trip spending as much time catching up with him as possible. you only had a week together to make up for the years you had spent apart, but you had fallen for him all over again, and he was just as head over heels for you as he had been in college. she was ecstatic that you two had decided to give things a second try, and had even met sasha when he visited you at home on the last panthers road trip.

“you miss him,” jamie said, unable to ignore the cloud of gloom that hung over you lately. at least, when aleksander wasn’t around. you thought back to when she had said the same thing on the phone months ago, before you had reached out to him again, and you had tried to deny it. but it wasn’t a question when she said it the first time, and it sure as hell wasn’t now.

“so much, j,” you agreed, your lashes wet with tears that threatened to spill over your cheeks as she embraced you in a hug.

“have you thought about moving out there to florida?” she asked.

“of course i have, i think about it all the time. but he’s away so much, and i’d be there by myself.”

“beats being alone here,” she offered, and you managed a smile.

“but you’re here. my whole life is here.”

“is it?” she asked. “i love you, you know that, but what’s really keeping you here? your job? is that really something you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life? can you see yourself living in this apartment for the rest of your life?”

“i guess not,” you sighed. you hadn’t thought about it like that. maybe you were just scared to throw everything away in case things didn’t work out with sasha.

“so what’s stopping you!” she smiled. “i know he’s on the road a lot, but wouldn’t it be better to be there waiting for him when he gets home, instead of being miserable here wondering when you might get to see him again?” she asked.

you knew you had been making excuses in your mind, but you were too scared to admit the truth until now.

“maybe im just waiting for him to ask me to stay.” jamie looked at you with a look that too you she meant what she said next with love, but it still stung, even if she was right.

“maybe he’s afraid to because the last time he did, you said no.”

•

“hey,” you smiled, as you wrapped your arms around sasha’s shoulders in a bone crushing hug. you had just landed in florida, and as always he insisted on picking you up at the airport, like a true gentleman. you kissed his lips gently, wanting nothing more than to melt into him completely, but knowing he wasn’t one for pda, that could wait until you were behind closed doors.

“hi,” he smiled back, his arms around your waist as he held you close. it had been three months since you had seen him, and it felt like an eternity, despite texting or calling each other every day. it was miserable to be apart for so long, emotionally and physically, and you couldn’t wait to get to his house so you could spend the next few hours showing him just how much you’d missed him .

he carried your suitcase to his car, loading it into the trunk before driving to his house. you spent the short duration of the drive (which somehow felt like forever) catching up on anything you had missed telling eachother. sasha always kept you updated on the team and how they were doing, as if you didn’t watch every game.

“we play the next five games at home, so i’m home for about two weeks,” he explained.

“that’s pretty nice,” you smiled, though you couldn’t help but think about how much you wished you could stay for the whole home stand. you were using the last of your vacation days for this visit, unbeknownst to aleksander, and in just four days had to fly home.

but you didn’t want to think about that right now.

all you wanted to think about was the man next to you, and as he turned into his driveway and led you inside, you quickly found it hard to think about anything besides the feeling of his lips on yours.

•

the next few days went by way too fast, and suddenly it was your last morning waking up in sasha’s arms. you snuggled closer into his chest and willed yourself to fall back to sleep, so that you could wake up here again, but it was no use.

“good morning,” he kissed the top of your head softly, his arms tightening around your body that still ached from the previous nights activities.

“good morning,” you hummed, your fingers reaching up to trace the outline of a love bite you had left on his neck.

“i wish i could wake up to this every day.”

“me too,” you whispered sadly, tracing patterns with your finger on his bare skin.

“maybe….” he trailed off, and he had spoken so softly, you wondered if you had imagined it.

“you have to go back today?” he asked, though he knew the answer. you had told him when you planned the trip that it would only be a few days.

“yeah,” you nodded, taking a deep breath. you were both silent for a few minutes until sure of what to say, until you found the words. “i love you aleksander,” you confessed for the second time; the first having been back in college.

“you do?” he asked, seeming surprised. of course you did - how could you not?

while you had made your relationship official only a month after your first visit to florida, you hadn’t said those three little words yet since getting back together.

you rolled over so you were laying on top of him, looking up to face him as he sat up slightly to lean against the headboard.

“i do,” you agreed. “i love you.”

he smiled at you, cradling the side of your face in his hand, and you closed your eyes, trying to memorize the feeling of his touch.

“i love you too,” he beamed. “i wish you didn’t have to go.”

“i know. me too.”

“is there anything i could do to make you stay?” he asked, and you blinked in disbelief.

“you mean.. stay here with you? like move to florida?” you asked, only for clarification; you didn’t want your emotions to misinterpret what he meant. his eyes refused to meet yours, and a light blush covered his cheeks.

“if you don’t want to i understand-“ he began, but you cut him off with a kiss.

“just ask -“ you smiled. “if you want me to stay, all you have to do is ask.”

sasha smiled back at you, pulling you up into his lap, and you slid your arms behind his neck, kissing him deeply.

“stay with me,” he whispered against tour lips when you parted for air. you smiled.

“i swear i’ll never leave again.”

disclaimer: all screenshots, events, and/or interactions depicted in this are a work of fiction. i have no association with any parties mentioned

[solarsturniolo]

wait i wanna hear about this frat boy 🫣

@zebonos GIRLLLL WHERE DO I EVEN START 😭😭

1. all of my friends say he’s ugly (he’s 6’3’’ sue me)

2. he snores SO LOUD

3. he punches and talks in his sleep

4. he has a cocaine addiction

5. he’s a bouncer at a bar that i’m a regular at

6. his head is too small and his eyes are uneven

7. he gets mad and insecure about my attraction to vinnie hacker

8. he is HORRIBLE at communicating (which was the ONE requirement i had when i agreed to let my friend set us up together. I said idc what he looks like, idc if he’s just wanting to fuck, he HAS to be good at communicating)

9. our second time together he marked me with hickies, begged me to stay the night, kissed me on my forehead, told me he wanted a future w me, etc

10. our 4th time together (we were awake for two hours mind you) he said he wanted to marry me 3 times, wanted to have kids with me 2 times, said i love you 4 times, planned what our engagement rings would look like, etc)

11. i ended up fucking his roommate and he had a talk with me about it. (“yeah…he’s a good guy, so much better than i could ever be for you…but whose bed are you in right now?”)

12. held my favorite pair of earrings hostage for a month

13. he does not like when i unadd him on snapchat and will ask ALL of my friends why im mad at him when ive told him i hate using snapchat for communicating bc its cancer.

14. he does not sleep in the dark

15. fucked a girl with an std

16. tried to get with me without telling me he fucked a girl with an std

17. tried to LIE about fucking a girl with an std

18. insane alcoholic. i watched him crush a 24 case of beer in two hours

19. doesn’t acknowledge me unless i’m actively ignoring him

20. he will STARE AT ME AND FOLLOW ME AROUND THE BAR ALL NIGHT if we are there at the same time (my friends have WITNESSED THIS HAPPENING) (( @megamett44-lover ))

21. will text me at 3:00-5:00 in the morning saying he needs to talk about stuff but i’m obviously ASLEEP

22. has not taken me on a proper date. (but he will buy my drinks and offers to buy me food if we go to cookout or mcdonald’s so i guess i can’t complain)

23. sleeps with socks on

24. hogs the blanket

25. doesn’t take out his trash and lets it pile up in his room

26. he has an awful haircut

27. left me alone immediately after sex for 23 minutes to go watch his roommate get his head shaved (no aftercare) and then was confused why i wouldn’t speak to him

28. did i mention he snores? did i also mention i get MAYBE an hour of sleep if i spend the night because its so bad??

29. tries to convince me not to make him use a condom

30. threw a fit one time bc a vinnie hacker edit came up on my phone so, in retaliation, he decided to look at thirst traps and sexual audios on tiktok for half an hour. i told him it was making me uncomfortable and told him to stop about six times and he only did when i threatened to leave.

31. would call me princess after i specifically told him NOT to do that.

32. beer pong with a bunch of his frat brothers is apparently a ‘date’ in his eyes…

33. didn’t acknowledge me at a party we were both attending until his buddy basically told him i wasn’t gonna keep pursuing him lmao

34. got so shit faced at the bar that he kept telling his frat brothers “isn’t she so pretty” “god im with the prettiest girl in (insert city name) right now” “im about to post her on my story” “should i buy her flowers” and i was so uncomfortable that i almost left the bar. (i had told him i wasn’t looking for anything serious and that pda made me uncomfortable)

35. he deadass chugged nyquil in front of me “to help him sleep”

36. has roaches in his bathroom (frat house)

37. refuses to smoke weed but will do 6 lines easy peasy???

38. not smart

39. thinks he can manipulate me (he can’t and it drives him crazy that i don’t fall for it)

40. asked me to find someone (female) to have a threesome with us (every inquiry made the same face before saying “no thanks”)

41. He hyper sexualizes my attraction to women

42. asked me if i’d block every guy in my phone for him (we had been talking for two weeks)

43. he’s an asshole to his dog and calls him mean names and hits his snout and shoves him around

44. he is persistent on trying to get me to blow him (i don’t do blowjobs. he knows this. still tries.)

45. he blew $160 gambling at the bar the night we went out 💀

46. he’s younger than me and extremely immature

47. he thinks listening to chief keef is an unheard of personality trait. (“i know all of the lyrics to Love Sosa” okay, so do 9 million other people)

Dude i could go on and on about this mf he’s WEIRD.

[darling-archeron]

@littedidyouknow, surprise! I was your Secret Santa for @acotargiftexchange. I had so much fun writing this fic for you. We talked about how you liked hurt comfort and would change how some of feysand's trauma was handled, so I combined that with some holiday fluff. This is chapter 1/3. I hope you enjoy - happy holidays!

With every solstice, it seems the Inner Circle grows. As Nyx's first solstice approaches, Feyre and Rhysand celebrate holiday traditions, both new and old, while grappling with unhealed wounds.

After a night of fitful tossing and turning, it was safe to say that when light streamed through the bedroom window, Feyre wasn’t ready to face the day.

Between Nyx’s fussing, Rhys’s restlessness, and her bad dreams, she would have been just as well off not going to bed at all. All week, she had felt drained, and last night had been no different.

At least, Nyx was often good about sleeping soundly in the morning. A true Night Court child, it was the late hours that kept him awake. Judging by the slant of the sun – or what she could glimpse of it, through her barely-open eyes – she and Rhys should have another hour of peace.

Rhys, it seemed, had also managed to fall into a fitful sleep at last. Despite his tossing and turning, he had still ended up nestled in her arms.

Right where she liked him. Surrounded by his warmth. Close enough to feel his heartbeat.

She had tried to keep her unrest concealed from Rhys. She wasn’t sure why – they didn’t keep things from one another. She knew he would listen in quiet understanding to whatever she was feeling. But she got the sense he had been feeling the same way – even if he didn’t show it in his waking hours, his fitful sleep was enough of an indication.

Even so, knowing she wasn’t alone in her unrest didn’t stop her from feeling completely ungrateful and selfish.

This time of year was supposed to be for celebration and thankfulness. And yet, here she was, with everything she could want in the world – a family, a home, peace, a loving mate, and a healthy child – and she still felt…discontented. Heavy.

A little haunted.

Gods, she was ungrateful.

More long minutes passed until she felt Rhys stir beside her.

“Good morning, love” he murmured, though he sounded as exhausted as she felt, even as he pressed a kiss into her hair.

She mumbled something barely coherent back, leaning into his touch.

“Sleep well?”

“Not really,” she admitted.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, sounding a little more awake. Of course, they were both used to getting up during the night to calm down Nyx when he woke. This was different.

“I’m just so tired,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

“Did I keep you awake?” he asked with equal softness, pressing her closer.

“No, I don’t think I would have slept either way.” She rubbed her eyes, trying to clear the drowsiness away while cringing against the sunlight streaming in.

Noticing her squint, Rhys flicked his fingers, and the heavy navy curtains immediately snapped shut.

“What’s bothering you?”

“I think I could ask you the same thing.” He had dodged bringing the unrest up as much as she had in past conversations, which was unlike both of them.

“Avoiding the question, are we?” He kept his tone light, but Feyre felt the undercurrent of concern. On a different morning, she might have tried to continue to tease and play, but…she didn’t realize how much of her fear and exhaustion she had been keeping from him. How long until fate tried to tear them apart again?

It haunted her, to think of how they had cheated death thrice. They couldn’t be so lucky again.

“This probably sounds silly, and maybe it’s selfish of me. For the first time in years, it feels like there’s no major disaster looming. Everyone is healthy, and our relationships with the other courts and the continents are going well. I know I shouldn’t be anxious. But it’s as if…for the first time in years – I really have time to think about everything that’s happened. During the War, and after.”

Wordless for once, Rhys just held her, rubbing soothing circles up and down her back.

“I think I’m feeling the same way you are,” he finally said. “Our first few solstices together, the relief was outweighing everything. Surviving the war and everything that came before…”

And Nyx’s birth, too. He didn’t need to say it.

“I just felt so much disbelief that we had made it through, that we had each other. But now…I just keep thinking about all the ways things have gone wrong, all the ways things could go wrong. I know it doesn’t do any good. I don’t want to ruin the present, by dwelling on what-ifs. Perhaps it makes me ungrateful, to still feel grief now. But my mind…it keeps trying to drag me back to times I’d rather not remember.”

“No, Rhys,” Feyre interjected sharply – and she couldn’t deny how cathartic it felt, to hear her own doubts in him. And if she could reassure him – she could reassure herself.

This is what they did. Blamed themselves for things they shouldn’t, patched up each other’s wounds. Held each other through the dark.

It was comforting, to know that she wasn’t alone in her exhaustion. That Rhys was beside her, as he was in so many things.

“I understand,” she continued. “Now that things have settled down. It’s like I actually have time to process some of the things that happened. In a way that…I suppose I didn’t before. I suppose I didn’t want to tell you, to make you feel bad.”

That first solstice, after the war, everything had been so fresh, so new. There had been sorrow, yes, and a sense of loss, but the warmth of love surrounding her for the first time in so long had kept the cold at bay.

Her mate didn’t say anything, resting his head on her shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked. Rhys didn’t say anything for a long while, but she could guess that his mind was half Under the Mountain.

“It’s nothing worth remembering,” he insisted, but she caught the way he stiffened.

Gently, she turned his head to face hers, their eyes meeting. “That doesn’t mean it won’t need a way to come out, one way or another.” If she could save him some nightmares tonight by having this conversation now…

“You’re the one who said you were tired, darling. I shouldn’t be putting on this you.”

She frowned. “Where is this coming from, Rhys? Let me share your burdens, as you share mine.”

Together, as they were in all things.

Still, he frowned. “I…I don’t know if I can right now. Maybe later?”

Rubbing a soothing hand up and down his back, she sent a pulse of understanding down the bond. He hadn’t wanted to talk last night, either, when she had asked him why he was restless.

He would be ready at some point, she trusted, but that conversation wasn’t what he needed right now.

“We can talk about something else. What about other Solstices - when you were younger? How did you celebrate – where did the snowball fight come from?” She asked to get his mind on more pleasant things, but also of her own curiosity. No matter how much she learned of her mate’s 500 years of life, it seemed there was always more to hear.

He considered the question, idly playing with a strand of her golden-brown hair. She snuggled up closer to his comforting warmth.

“When I was very young, my least favorite part was always the court parties I would have to attend. Long, drawn-out events, mostly in Hewn City. Mor and I would always try to sneak off, only for one of our parents or nannies to drag us back by our ears.”

“Your parents let a child attend revels in the Court of Nightmares?” she asked incredulously. She had seen parties there that bordered on orgies.

“Oh, we were sent to bed long before things were that wild. The night felt like it dragged on long enough as it was – once, Mor almost fell asleep, falling face first into her roasted duck.”

“As I’m sure is no surprise, my father wasn’t much of a family man. Certainly not by the time I was born. If it wasn’t for my mother, I’m sure we barely would have celebrated outside the Court of Nightmares. And my mother, for as much as her chosen family meant to her, quickly realized that the strife of getting my father to stop thinking about politics for one day was more trouble than it was worth. When I was training in Illyria, it often got a little quieter around Solstice. For most, it was their only leave for the year. I was one of the lucky ones, with my mother living in camp, and my father occasionally dragging me away for one of his own lessons…”

“What a lucky little High Lord, getting special privileges,” Feyre teased, flicking his nose.

Rhys scoffed. “If you can call sitting through endless meetings in the Court of Nightmares, or being chased through the woods by whatever my father decided to send after me “special privileges.”

“But what I meant was that Cassian didn’t have any family they cared to visit outside of the camps. So there were years when it was just my mother and the two of us – later the three of us, once Azriel showed up. She would make special treats, and always sewed new clothes for the three of us. I wish I could say our gifts were always as thoughtful.” He chuckled. “At the very least, she always made a show of being pleased with whatever we had come up with. Those are some of my favorite Solstice memories.”

She felt his mental presence gently slipping through the walls of her mind, sharing a memory through his eyes, of his mother and his brothers, eating cookies and sharing presents by the crackling fire.

“I swear, I never would have thought such a thing was possible, but after my sister was born, she softened my father. When Celeste was young, there were a few years when the four of us would get together in Velaris. My sister would throw a fit if my father didn’t make some kind of effort to be with us through the holidays – and with anyone else, I would have sworn the holiday would have been better without the prick. But…he was kinder to her. Like he wanted to give her the childhood the rest of us hadn’t been afforded.”

Feyre listened attentively; hand braced gently on his arm as Rhys immersed himself in the years long past. 

“Celeste loved the holidays. Loved any reason to celebrate. Her favorite tradition was always baking, and she’d stay in the kitchen for hours and help my mother and the servants prepare dessert. When she got a little older, she would always try and join my brothers and I during our snowball fights. I would usually tell her to stop being a pest. But Az…he was the good one. He would let her join his team, pummel Cass and I. Of course, we’d always tell him that his win that year didn’t count, since he had extra help.” Her mate smiled at the memory.

“What else?” Feyre asked softly, eager to learn more pieces about the girl she had never met.

“She loved to ice skate. That was usually what the two of us did together.”

“You? On ice skates?” Feyre couldn’t help but interject in disbelief, incredulous at the idea of Rhys gliding across the ice. Not that he wasn’t graceful, but it didn’t exactly fit in with the idea of Illyrian brute strength.

“You doubt my abilities? I was an excellent skater. I’m the one who taught Celeste.”

She pictured Rhys, the dutiful big brother, spinning around on the ice with his sister, faster and faster, both of them laughing and carefree.

“You said you were an excellent skater. Are you still?”

“I haven’t done it in years, but you should know I’m a quick study,” he said slyly.

“Would you want to pick it up again?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, why don’t we do all of those things. The skating, the baking,” Feyre suggested.

He didn't answer for a moment, turning over her words, and Feyre was struck by the thought that he might not want part in these traditions with anyone other than his sister, that she was invading on a treasured memory.

Before she could brush her words away, change the subject, a smile played at Rhys's lips.

“You wouldn’t be bored? Doing all of these old traditions with me?”

She shook her head. “Of course not! And…I think it would help me, too, to spend time with you. To just be. I’ve been trying to stay so busy and focused on the future, our future, but…I can’t outrun everything. Maybe, if we can find some time, it could be good. To just be together, in the moment.”

And maybe if they were lucky, the magic of Solstice could bring a little healing to them both.  

"I'd like that a lot. We could bring Nyx along, too.”

“There are three days until Solstice. How many activities do you think we can fit in?”

“You’re in luck, my darling wife. As an early birthday present, I’ve cleared both of our calendars. Now, I’ll admit the activities I had in mind originally were a little more…physical,” he said, and she was very aware of his hand creeping up the side of her shirt, “but…few things would make me happier.”

“Well then, it sounds like a plan,” Feyre said, pressing a long, slow kiss to his mouth.

And for the first time in days, she felt lighter.

[etotruski]

König’s Obsession

(Part 1, Part 2,) Part3

König x reader/f is addressed as y/n or you

Writers note: This is part 3. Thank you to everyone who read my first and second part <3

Warning: This story contains a bit smut and will contain more in the following parts.

Word count: 1,790

After your office meeting with König, the next day somehow no one looked at you disgusted or whatever anymore. So he was able to make the rumors die down somehow. You couldn’t help but wonder how and that’s when you noticed some looked scared at you. You heard others whisper.

“All the things that Ashley said were lies, König confirmed that, but he also confirmed, that…y/n was in the Navy, y/n was called Spider, because of how brutally y/n killed their enemies.”, he whispered the last part and glanced at you a few times during the conversation with his buddy.

‘Now how the fuck did König know about that?’ You thought to yourself but then your anger died down and you thought ‘Aye at least these rumors are gone. FINALLY NO SIDE EYES TO ME ANYMORE, I FELT LIKE AS IF I’M DONALD TRUMP!!!’

The rest of the week you continued your training still with way too long, lingering and unnecessary touches from König. Sometimes you want back to your barracks room and it was open, but you swore that you had it locked, but you didn’t care and thought you forgot to lock it.

König’s POV:

‘Oh how beautiful Y/N is. I wish I could just grab her by her hair, bend her over my table in my office, rip off her clothes and just fuck her so violently that she’d forget her own name and would be dick dumb. Ohhh how I wish I could just stuff my cock into her warm filthy mouth, her lips are so fucking beautiful. How I’d slide my dick between her gorgeous fucking tits and fuck em too. Oh I just want to fuck every hole. I could fuck her anal too. I just want to claim her in any way. It doesn’t matter which hole or space, like her thighs. I just want to claim her. Make her fucking mine.’ 

He breaths heavily as he jerks off for the 10th time in the day, because y/n made him have unexpected boners, despite him being not a school kid anymore.

He practically inhales her scent from the millionth used underwear he stole from her room. He snuck at least millionths of times into her room whole her being in absence. 

He fists his cock harder and imagines the way y/n would be fucked hard with his dick. It was practically a sword, it could compete with fucking drake. 

He groans loud in his room on his bed as he cums on her used underwear.

He now was satisfied and could finally go to sleep. He’s secretly obsessed with her but he hides it, bad, but thank Burger King that she’s oblivious as fuck.

‘I need to text her to come to my house tomorrow. She will are for the child and then I’ll ask her out on a date, I hope so fucking bad I can make her mine as soon as possible. But she is mine, even now, she just doesn’t know it yet. Poor y/n should’ve never come here, I grew attached the moment I saw her. I wonder if she noticed, that Ashley is gone?’  He thought to himself.

After texting her and sending the address to his home, he finally could sleep even though it was 3 in the fucking morning and he couldn’t get her off of his mind and just wanted to fuck her but had to fuck into his hand several times instead.

Y/N’s POV:

It’s officially weekend. Finally. But of course y/n has to help König. At 8 AM she already was at his house. It looks like a fucking mansion. And his car? A fucking Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon. DAMN. ‘Maybe I should try to seduce him and live a life as a happy house wife.’ You thought to yourself.

Of course you were dressed in a black baggy abibas hoodie, along with these cute baggy military cargo pants and some random white sneakers. A but underdressed but you didn’t care.

You knocked and seconds later he opened the door. He looked so fucking hot.

Why? Because even though he put his mask on, he was shirtless and sweating. Looks like he was doing his daily routine right now. The only thing you could think of though was his fucking pecs flexing and these…these…MAN BOOBS. YOU JUST WANNA SQUISH EM. (Writers note: Don’t hate on me pls, I know you guys wanna do that. *evil laugh*)

If you could you’d be licking his pecs like the damn SpongeBob meme.

After a few more seconds of staring you finally snapped out of your thoughts.

“He-…Hello, Sir.” Your fucking voice broke. BROTHA.

He just looked at you and nodded. You saw something in his eyes…but then it quickly disappeared. ‘Wowa Wewa…’ You thought.

You walked inside and that’s when you see the baby, approximately 1 and 1/2 years old. You ran to him and you couldn’t help but say.

“AWWWW. Aren’t you a cute little guy. Such a cute little baby.” 

Meanwhile König watched you babying the baby. You felt his gaze literally BURNING into your neck.

“I’m going to continue my work, look after Vladimir.”

‘Vladimir…PUTIN’ You unlocked a new nickname for the baby. You looked after it the rest of the day. You fed it, played with it, made it fall asleep, cooked food and fell asleep on the couch yourself. Later when you wake up you see König staring down at you, with something…primal in his eyes?

**to be continued**

[dreamlogic]

finished fellowship and have some updated thoughts on Hobbit Relationship Drama...

- merry & pippin are still useless homosexuals. merry accidentally brushed pippin’s hand at dinner one time and thought about it for like 3 weeks. pippin usually ends up marching behind merry when they travel and spends an awful lot of time thinking about how beautiful merry’s curls look backlit in the setting sun. but not in a gay way.

- frodo and sam, on the other hand, wasted no time getting themselves sorted out and confessing their undying love. tom bombadil mistakes them for a couple (past, future, present.. they don’t matter to him so he just got his timelines a lil twisted). later that evening as they’re getting ready for bed they’re both like “haha wow, who could ever mistake us for a couple. that’s so ridiculous.... unless...?”

- they wanna keep things on the down low until they’re Certain that this is a Thing, so they spend most evenings between the old forest and bree volunteering for the late watch so they can stay up all night talking about their feelings. they just. love each other so much. it’s unreal. the only thing they disagree about is PDA: frodo thinks it’s in bad taste, and sam wants to superglue his hand to frodo’s ASAP.

- one of the first conversations frodo has with sam when he wakes up in rivendell after nearly dying is “listen, i need to marry you before anything like that happens again. if either of us dies before we’re wed it would be the most unspeakable cruelty on this earth.” sam, a huge romantic who has cried at every wedding he’s ever been invited to, has to sit down upon hearing this to avoid swooning.

- only problem? they ask elrond, as master of the house, to officiate the wedding, but elrond refuses cause he thinks it’s a horrible idea for the ringbearer to fall in love at a time like this. they ask gandalf, but he’s too involved in White Council Politics and won’t go against elrond in his own house. they’re lamenting this turn of events to bilbo, who’s like “wait, didn’t you know? the king of dale gave me some obscure honorary title that authorizes me to officiate legally binding unions. i’ll marry you right now!” sam runs and grabs pippin & merry and they have a cozy little impromptu ceremony in bilbo’s room.

- they’re still keeping things low-key to avoid drama with elrond, but bilbo is a gossip and word gets around to gloin in no time, who tells gimli, who confronts sam about it before dinner one evening. “listen, your business is your business but you should know, as dwarven nobility, i’ve officiated many a wedding in my time if you wanna make doubly sure your union will be recognized among all the free peoples of middle earth...” so they get married Again. gimli tries to gift them both rings, but frodo has enough of those to worry about, thanks.

- legolas is a voracious eavesdropper and will not be outdone by a dwarf. “say, frodo,” he casually starts one evening. “i’m a prince and guess what princes can do? marry people.” SO sam and frodo get a third marriage certificate, written in elvish this time.

- frodo is hanging out with bilbo and aragorn one morning over brunch, workshopping one of bilbo’s songs, when a thought occurs to him. “strider, as you may have figured out by now, sam and i are married in three different languages. you’re sort of royalty, right? wanna get in on the joke?” “i absolutely want to be in on the joke,” strider says, because he is a very poetic soul and this whole situation is gonna be keeping him awake with a single tear in his eye for months. their love is beautiful, he’d be honored to have any part in it.

- boromir is deeply offended that he hasn’t been invited to marry frodo and sam yet, so the morning before the fellowship sets off, he corners the happy couple at breakfast and rattles off a speech before either can finish their eggs and toast. it’s a little jarring, but he does give them the most sensible wedding gift yet: a stamped leather folio for sam to safely store their five (5) marriage certificates in.

- they think they’re safe from any more weddings when they leave rivendell, but without elrond watching him, gandalf wants to throw his two cents in. he pulls them aside after dinner one evening in hollin and says a few words. “trust me,” he insists when they protest, “you’d do very well to have one of the istari bless your union,” and throws a few protection spells into the mix for them.

- elrond, for his part, has known about these shenanigans since the first marriage, because bilbo wasted no time marching up to him afterwards and demanded to know why he refused to officiate his favorite nephew's wedding. he's been keeping an eye on the situation since and refraining from comment. if all goes well, the ring is destroyed, and sauron thwarted... perhaps then, a proper rivendell wedding would be in order to celebrate.

re-reading the lord of the rings for the first time since i was a teen and i have some Thoughts on the hobbits' relationship statuses at the beginning of fellowship. will update as i finish each book.

- merry and frodo dated all through their tweens and were, like, disgustingly into each other. they were The Couple at brandy hall forever and all their neighbors were impatiently awaiting their wedding invites. then merry met pippin and it was love at first sight, he knew he'd never be able to stop pining.

- not wanting to string frodo along, they broke up. it was relatively amiable, they had a long talk about it over tea and both of them cried into each other's arms a lot, but understood it was probably for the best in the long run. frodo moved in with his uncle at bag end to give them both time/space to recover, and wrote a lot of sad poetry for a while.

- unfortunately for merry, pippin is still deeply closeted and completely oblivious. but merry is patient, and is more than happy to enjoy pippin's platonic friendship even if he doesn't ever end up reciprocating romantic feelings.

- frodo developed an immediate crush on sam, the Gardener's Hot Son, but refused to let himself get carried away cause he's a mature (if melodramatic) hobbit and 1) didn't want to rush into anything after merry, and 2) didn't want sam to feel weird about his boss having feelings for him.

- sam, meanwhile, is desperately in love with frodo and seeks advice about it p much right away from merry. "help, i'm smitten for your ex, but he's so aloof around me i don't know what to do!" sam cries. merry, who kept his distance from frodo for all of, like, two months before striking up their friendship again, finds this hilarious. he advises sam that frodo is just Like That, and if he wants to bring him out of his thick head, sam needs to smother him in Really Blatant Flirting.

- sam, bless him, decides that the best way to flirt with frodo is to be overly formal and deferential around him, which only makes frodo more anxious about abusing the power imbalance in their relationship. "master frodo, sir," sam says, wondering if he's laying it on too thick. "oh, sam..." frodo sighs, hoping his status as hobbit nobility isn't pressuring his crush into being so excessively polite to him.

- pippin is blissfully unaware of all of this, and assumes that it's perfectly heterosexual for all his best friends to hold hands and smooch and talk about wanting to get married to and grow old with each other. i mean, who wouldn't want to marry his friends? they're all so gorgeous and kind and funny and smart. especially merry. if pippin were gay (which he isn't!!!!!) he definitely wouldn't mind settling down with that brandybuck...

[ohno-pleasure]

Thinking about how good it is to be making out with them on top of you, then they grab a wrist in each hand, and you just can't help but moan into their mouth and push yourself up into them

[fence-time]

Sigh @thehappyromeo

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

wough weird sad feelings about my dad who could have expected that

[cuteniaarts]

Small drawing collection of my latest creation Emran as a teenager/freshly minted Air Acolyte, for my dear partner in unhinged OC shenanigans @katkastrofa, as promised <3

[twinknote]

auughhhhh i feel rly anxious and i need to get this somewhat out of my head. cw breast cancer screening

ok so i have an appt scheduled at planned parenthood tomorrow bc i found a lump under my armpit and there is history of breast cancer in both sides of my family. and first of all i need to call them tomorrow bc i forgot that when i scheduled the appt online it said they didn't accept my insurance even though i've literally been to planned parenthood before and my insurance website says they're covered? so i have to fucking call them and idek if i'm going to end up having the appt. which is stressful on its own

but also there is the factor of being TransgenderedTM and not really knowing if whatever doctor i might see will be trans-competent or if it will be a deadnaming + "girl power!!!" situation. plus just. yk. having anyone see and feel my fucking titties who i'm not fucking is like. strange and unnerving. and there is Also the factor of having sexual trauma so having anyone see and feel my fucking titties who i'm not fucking (and sometimes even who i Am fucking!!!!) is EXTRA strange and unnerving!!!! also idk if i would just be having some kind of exam or if i would be having a mammogram or if they even Have the ability to do a mammogram or if they would just be like Yup that's a lump [insert thumbs up emoji bc i'm typing this in an anxiety-fueled rage on my computer] have fun!

idk man i'm justreally really anxious abt this and it's making it worse not actually knowing if it's happening or not or if i'll have to make one billion calls around to find somewhere else to go or if i'll have to wait like 2 months to see someone back home in which case the cancer will have spread to my entire body and killed me and i also won't have insurance. basically i should just die anyway bc this all seems like way too much stress and way too complicated and maybe i should just not see a doctor about it and just simply keel over and die [insert another thumbs up emoji for good measure]

[fadeintoyou1993]

having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?