#it's kind of like how solar is nice and all... but just a few good nuclear plants would be a better solution than solar on every roof

[astrobydalia]

Solar return observations

Virgo season is here which means my birthday is coming soon!!! I thought it would be fitting to share my first Solar Return observations with you. These are based on my experience, feel free to share yours!

Btw Ariel is my fave Disney princess I love her sm

work by astrobydalia

Fire rising in SR - these years were characterized for being SO SO chaotic and all over the place tbh. It was always a mix of good and bad things like damn I couldn't catch a break. So many rollecosters, STRESS, situations were I was at the edge of my seat, unpredictable and random stuff happening...

Air rising on SR - one word: fresh. Total opposite from fire risings. Air risings were years that felt so light and fresh! I felt like I was floating through the year in a good way! Just going with flow. And I've said this before the best most chill years where I've found myself thriving were Libra risings on SR (also venus in the 1st house)

Moon-Lilith conjunction in th SR - I felt like my life being sucked out of me and overall felt kinda unlucky that year. I felt so empty inside during this year it was insane. Also I was having mayor issues and conflicts with my mom

Chiron is in SR is a bit catastrophized imo. It can not only mean areas in your life that can "break" but also areas that could find healing or resolutions as well. Whenever I've seen the breaking or ending manifestation of this asteroid it was always from a place of reconsideration and healing rather destruction, like making peace with something. For example, Chiron in the 7th house could mean ending a relationship on good terms or unlearning unhealthy relationship patterns. On time I had Chiron in the 6th house and during that year I got a nice job after a long period of struggling to find a job. Of course it's nuanced and it can often be painful and disappointing process but I think people don't mention enough how Chiron is about finding relief as well

One time I read the SR for a client who had Pluto in the 6th house for that year and turns out she was planning to undergo surgery during that time for health reasons

Leo rising in SR - These years were TERRIBLE for some reason. Maybe it was due to Cancer 12th house but I was really struggling to find happiness and fulfillment in my life during these times

Cancer mars in the SR - So emotional!! Like truly it was years that were clouded by emotion. It was either due to family stuff, friends or relationships, but I was running on emotion all the time and I couldn't act on logic to save my life. However it's not like I was in my bed crying all day but rather these emotions were giving energy and motivation in some way. Somehow being emotional was always making be feel.... alive?

Moon in 12th house of SR - I was getting ready to move and separate from my family during this year

Taurus rising in SR - these years were surprisingly.... intense, specially with my relationships. A lot of patience, resisting and enduring. Every event that happened felt like I was going through a 10-year-long process and really had a strong impact in my life. Years were I reconsidered my priorities a lot and was really faced with what is it that I truly value

Uranus in the 1st house of SR - literally a few days prior to my bday I received shocking news that turned my entire year (and life) upside down so you can imagine how this energy played out. Life forcing changes on my life that I was not ready for but had to make it through one way or another

Virgo rising in SR - I started a new job!

Look at Part of Fortune and Vertex in your SR chart, these will be significant themes!

Capricorn rising in SR - I was.... borderline depressed here ngl. Those kind of years that never seem to end ever. I was receiving pressure from both my career life and my family life. Overall earth rising in the SR were years that felt very 'heavy' if that makes sense.

Juno in the 1st house of SR - these were years were I meant new people!!! I significantly enlarged my network

^Same thing with Venus/Libra/Vertex in the 7th house of SR. I didn't get into a relationships or had anything romantic going on, I met new people and made new friends in general. I also bought lots of new clothes and invested a lot in my image

Scorpio rising in SR -you know when you go through a very intense experience out of nowhere and then come out of it soon after like nothing happened and you're left feeling like "wtf was that for"? That's this.

Yod configuration in SR - very karmic life-changing and ground breaking events in my life. Before and after vibes

Moon in Capricorn in the SR - my girlboss era!!!! These were years were I began new professional opportunities like my first job or my first year in college

Moon in the 8th house of SR - you guessed it: trauma. I'm talking canon event kind of trauma. A family member died.

Vertex in the 8th house of SR - this was playing life on hard mode honestly. Not necessarily traumatic, but very complicated events and situations here that put you to the test

work by astrobydalia

[anipgarden]

Things to Do that Aren't Related to Growing Plants

This is my second post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps! 

Some of us just don’t have much luck when it comes to growing plants. Some of us simply want to aim for other ways to help that don’t involve putting on gardening gloves. Maybe you've already got a garden, but you want to do more. No problem! There’s a couple of options you can look into that’ll help attract wildlife in your area without even having to bring out any shovels!

Provide a Water Source

Oftentimes when I see ‘add a water source’ in informational articles about improving your backyard for wildlife, it’s almost always followed by an image of a gorgeous backyard pond with a waterfall and rock lining that looks expensive to set up, difficult to maintain, and overall just… not feasible for me. Arguably, not feasible for a lot of people. And that’s okay! There’s still ways to add water in your garden for all kinds of creatures to enjoy!

There’s tons of ways to create watering stations for insects like bees and butterflies. A self refilling dog bowl can work wonders! Add some stones into the receiving tray for insects to land on or use to climb out, and you’ve got a wonderful drinking spot for all kinds of insects! You can also fill a saucer or other dish with small stones and fill it, though it’ll likely need refilling daily or even several times a day during hot times. 

I've seen people online use all kinds of things to make water features. Some go with terra-cotta pots, pebbles, and a cheap pump to get a small and simple fountain. Others use old tires, clay, and a hole in the ground to create an in-ground mini pond system. If all else fails, even a bucket or watertight box with a few plants in it can do the trick--though do be wary of mosquitoes if the water isn’t moving. In situations like these, a solar-powered fountain pump or bubbler are great for keeping the water moving while still making it a drinking option for wildlife (it not even more appealing for some)--and these items can be obtained fairly cheap online!

Bird baths are an option as well--a classic way to provide for birds in your area, they can be easy to find online or in a gardening store! The only downside is that a good, quality bird bath can be pricey up-front. However, a nice stone bird bath should last a long time, be easy to clean and refill, and be enjoyed by many birds! I’ve also seen tutorials on how to make your own with quickcrete! Bird baths will be a welcome sight to birds, as they provide a space for them to drink and bathe to regulate the oils in their feathers for flight and insulation. Putting a stone in the middle will also help insects to escape if they fall in, and provide a place to perch so they can get their own drink. You’ll want to change the water and clean the baths regularly--as often as once a week, if you can manage it.

If possible, it’s highly encouraged to fill and refill water features with rainwater instead of tap water. Tap water is often treated, so instead of using hoses or indoor kitchen water, collecting some rainwater is a great alternative. Collecting rainwater can be as simple as leaving cups, bins, or pots outside for awhile.

Butterflies and other creatures will also drink from mud puddles. If you can maintain an area of damp soil mixed with a small amount of salt or wood ash, this can be fantastic for them! Some plants also excel at storing water within their leaves and flowers (bromeliads come to mind), making them an excellent habitat for amphibians as well as a drinking spot for insects and birds.

Bird Feeders and Bird Houses

Some of the fancy, decorated bird feeders are expensive, but others can be pretty low-cost--I got my bird feeder from Lowe’s for around 10 dollars, and a big bag of birdseed was around another 10 dollars and has lasted several refills! If you don’t mind occasionally buying more birdseed, a single birdfeeder can do a lot to attract and support local birds! If you’re handy, have some spare wood, and have or can borrow some tools, you may even be able to find instructions online to make your own feeder. You may not even need wood to do so! Even hummingbird feeders, I’ve found, are quick to attract them, as long as you keep them stocked up on fresh sugar water in the spring and summer!

An important note with bird feeders is that you have to make sure you can clean them regularly. Otherwise, they may become a vector for disease, and we want to avoid causing harm whenever possible. Also keep an ear out and track if there’s known outbreaks of bird diseases in your area. If local birding societies and scientists are advising you take your birdfeeders down for awhile, by all means, do it!

Bird houses are naturally paired with bird feeders as biodiversity promoters for backyard spaces, and it makes sense. Having bird houses suited to birds in your area promotes them to breed, raise their young, disperse seeds, and generally engage in your surrounding environment. Setting them up takes careful selection or construction, preparation, and some patience, but sooner or later you might get some little homemakers! Keep in mind, you will need to clean your birdhouses at least once a year (if not once per brood) to make sure they’re ready and safe for birds year after year--you wouldn’t want to promote disease and parasites, after all. But they could be a valuable option for your landscape, whether you purchase one or construct your own! 

Again, do make sure you're putting up the right kind of boxes for the right kinds of birds. Bluebird boxes are some I see sold most commonly, but in my area I believe they're not even all that common--a nesting box for cardinals or chickadees would be far more likely to see success here! And some birds don't even nest in boxes--robins and some other birds are more likely to use a nesting shelf, instead! Research what birds live in your area, take note of any you see around already, and pick a few target species to make homes for!

Solitary Bee Houses

A bee house or bee hotel is a fantastic way to support the solitary bees in your area! For a few dollars and some annual cleaning, you can buy a solitary bee house from most big box nurseries. Alternatively, you can make one at home, with an array of materials you may already have lying around! You can even make them so that they’ll benefit all kinds of insects, and not necessarily just bees.

Though you don’t even necessarily have to break out the hammer and nails, buy a ton of bricks, or borrow a staple gun. Making homes for tunneling bees can be as simple as drilling holes in a log and erecting it, or drilling holes in stumps and dead trees on your property. You might even attract some woodpeckers by doing this!

Providing Nesting Area

There are tons of different kinds of bees, and they all make different kinds of homes for themselves. Not all of them make big cavity hives like honey bees, or will utilize a solitary bee house. Bumblebees live in social hives underground, particularly in abandoned holes made by rodents--some others nest in abandoned bird nests, or cavities like hollow logs, spaces between rocks, compost piles, or unoccupied birdhouses. Borer, Ground, and Miner bees dig into bare, dry soil to create their nests. Sparsely-vegetated patches of soil in well-drained areas are great places to find them making their nests, so providing a similar habitat somewhere in the garden can encourage them to come! I do talk later in this document about mulching bare soil in a garden--however, leaving soil in sunny areas and south-facing slopes bare provides optimal ground nesting habitat. Some species prefer to nest at the base of plants, or loose sandy soil, or smooth-packed and flat bare ground. They’ve also been known to take advantage of soil piles, knocked over tree roots, wheel ruts in farm roads, baseball diamonds and golf course sand traps. You can create nesting ground by digging ditches or creating nesting mounds in well-drained, open, sunny areas with sandy or silty soil. However, artificially constructed ground nests may only have limited success. 

Providing Alternative Pollinator Foods

Nectar and pollen aren’t the only foods sought out by some pollinators! Some species of butterflies are known to flock to overripe fruit or honey water, so setting these out can be an excellent way to provide food to wildlife. You may want to be cautious about how you set these out, otherwise it can help other wildlife, like ants or raccoons. Butterflies may also drop by to visit a sponge in a dish of lightly salted water. 

Bat Houses and Boxes

Big or small, whether they support five bats or five hundred, making bat boxes and supporting local bats is a great way to boost biodiversity! Not only will they eat mosquitoes and other pest species, but you may also be able to use the guano (bat droppings) as fertilizer! Do be careful if you choose to do that though--I’ve never had the opportunity to, so do some research into how strong it is and use it accordingly.

Provide Passageway Points

If you want your area to be more accessible for creatures that can’t fly or climb fences, allowing or creating access points can be an excellent way to give them a way in and out. Holes in the bottom of walls or fences can be sheltered with plants to allow animals through. 

In a somewhat similar manner, if you’re adding a water fixture, it’s important to provide animals a way to get into and out of the pond--no way in, and they can’t use the water. No way out, and they may drown. Creating a naturalistic ramp out of wood beams or sticks, or stepped platforms out of bricks, stones, or logs can do the trick. 

Get or Keep Logs and Brush Piles

I’ve already mentioned logs a good handful of times so far in this post. To be used as access ramps, or as nesting areas for solitary bees. But they have value as much more than that! Logs on the ground provide shelter for all kinds of animals, especially depending on size--anything from mice, reptiles, and amphibians to things like turkey vultures and bears will use fallen logs as shelter. Inside of a decaying log, there’s a lot of humidity, so amphibians are big fans of them--meanwhile, the upper sides of them can be used as sunning platforms by things like lizards. Other animals can also use the insides of logs as nest sites and hiding places from predators too big to fit inside. Fungi, spiders, beetles, termites, ants, grubs, worms, snails, slugs, and likely much more can be found inside rotting logs, using the rotting wood as food sources or nesting places. They can then provide food for mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and birds. They can also be regarded as a landmark or territory marker as wildlife get more familiar with your space.

So how do you get logs for cheap? Try Chip Drop! I talk about them more in a future post, but you can mark saying that you’d like logs in your drop, so they’ll give you any they have! In fact, you may even get a drop faster if you're willing to accept some logs. You may also be able to approach arborists you see working in your area and ask for logs. There may also be local online listings for people selling logs for cheap, or just trying to get rid of them. If there’s land development going on near you, you may be able to snag logs from trees they cut down to make space. Do keep in mind, you don’t need to have huge gigantic logs laying around your property to make an impact--even small logs can help a lot.

If possible, creating and leaving brush piles on the edge of your property can be a great boost to biodiversity--even if you may not see the wildlife using it. They’ll provide shelter from weather and predators, and lower portions are cool and shady for creatures to avoid the hot sun. The upper layers can be used as perch sites and nest sites for song birds, while lower layers are resting sites for amphibians and reptiles, and escape sites for many mammals. As the material decays, they also attract insects, and as such they’ll attract insect-eating animals too. As more small animals find refuse in your brush pile, their predators will be attracted to them as well. Owls, hawks, foxes, and coyotes are known to visit brush piles to hunt. Making a brush pile can be as simple as piling branches and leaves into a mound, as big or as small as you want. You can even use tree stumps or old fence posts near the base, and keep stacking on plant trimmings and fallen branches. Do note that you don’t want to do this near anything like a fire pit.

Don't forget, with all of these, your mileage may vary for any variation of reasons, so don't worry if you can't take all of even any of these actions! Even just talking about them with other people may inspire someone else to put out a bat box, or leave a few logs out for wildlife!

That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to get seeds and plants as cheaply as possible. For now, I hope this advice helps! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

[nadinescholtes]

My thoughts about the celestial family

After watching the last few episodes of the Sun and Moon and Lunar and Earth shows, I'm wondering how weak their family bond is.

Don't get me wrong, the shows are great! There is so much drama and can't wait to see what happens next 🤩

But I like to discuss the Celestia family.

I'm struggling to see social cues and can read situations wrong, but I kind of feel baffled and disappointed in the family.

From the outside, you see a found family with a strong bond and be there for each other. But the inside...

I try to find the right words here.

The family adopts people who did things wrong intentionally or unintentionally in the past into their family and friend group without being mindful of WHO they are/were. Lunar, Killcode, Molten, Clips, Nexus. And as soon they do something wrong again (which you should expect at some point because of their past and trauma) instead of seeing and work what was the cause of it, they reject them and talk about killing them. (Ruin is an exception)

Killcode, yeah he was evil but as soon he became good, Moon sacrificed himself for him. He was no friend or family. He got his own body and lived his life until he died.

Nexus, in my eyes, wasn't evil but was mentally very sick cause of the toxic relationship with the family. He needed to find his own personality but his family and friends were no help, treated him like a nice Moon. In the therapy sessions, he told them about the issues and I think the solution would have been to distance himself from the others and find his own personality. But by his madness, he chose to use dark star power (like taking substances) to feel in control. I think his family did kinda take his control away from the beginning, not just Ruin or Bloodmoon, the control to choose who he is, to build his own personality. But it got worse after Solar's death. And he was killed.

Now little Lunar, who had so much trauma, hanging out with gods who don't feel emotions like him. They can't help him with his trauma or say the right words which can easily cause misunderstandings.

He was seeking his purpose and got in contact with the wrong people. This is not surprising because the first person he looked up to was Eclipse, his abusive Ex-brother. People (not all of them) who grew up with abusive families tend to end up in relationships or hanging out with bad people because they feel a sort of comfort in them.

He got tricked and accidentally hurt Earth and instead of getting the whole picture, his family and friends were already discussing about killing him or not. What? There were so many red flags that he needed help with his trauma with Eclipse and Earth (not to offend her) was not the right "therapist" for that. It was just waiting to go wrong.

Also, has this something to do with what Dark Sun did? Suddenly every Sun or other is lashing out at the Moons. Lunar is a Moon, and now is imprisoned and his family discusses killing or rejecting him. 🤔

I think this family can easily adopt people into their group but they are not able to keep them for long.

If I understood here something wrong, then I apologize.

[catchyhuh]

CAMPINGG YAAAY

everyone look at this image and imagine a beautiful world with me

lupin:

the first to suggest it and the worst at it. there’s a difference between “we HAVE to camp for a few nights” and “we should TOTALLY camp out you guys!!” so sure, he can survive it easily… if it’s framed as a necessity. but when its supposed to be a fun thing, ehhhh

getting all the shit together, finding a safe enough spot to set up, struggling through dinner and how to get rid of the trash right AND how to pitch the tent…

it’s the little things that keep drawing him back to it though. he hates working with the tent, but after the initial wave of irritation, he thinks back on the others laughing before asking if he needs some backup there and he’s like. yeah that was probably funny. he loves the sound of a forest at night too-- usually he can’t sleep when it’s too quiet, but with the trees rustling and bugs chirping and all that, it’s a nice, consistent sound machine. so he tends to forget how grouchy he got last time they went all because he starts thinking about when they all laid down and just stared up at the sky for nearly an hour

jigen:

bitch is like a cockroach he can easily survive any conditions at all. but that doesn’t mean he isn’t complaining

despite his. jigenness, he’s probably the one that gets the most actual enjoyment out of it. every other vacation they could take kind of still feels like a job, in his head. he can’t fully, totally relax in some luxury hotel, even if he enjoys it, because subconsciously, his brain is figuring out where the cameras are, the quickest route back to the car from their room, etc etc. camping is different just because it's SO isolated, it's SO different from anything else. so when he pulls his hat over his face and leans back in a beach chair they took from some resort in miami, he actually does feel totally at peace

unfortunately though as the guy who specializes in taking apart and putting back together doohickeys (read: giant real life fucking guns) he always ends up being the guy to read the manual and go “guys its a solar powered lantern. there is no switch. you just let it sit in the-- you keep it in the box this WHOLE TIME?”

fujiko:

also has a bit of that jigen thing where she feels like she can actually, completely and totally relax like this. you’d expect her to be the fussy type with camping but-- no. she’s not sleeping in the damn tent if she can help it, but getting a camper and just enjoying their little opening in the forest is pretty sweet. fujiko (and this is the case for a lot of things) is really the main one who truly understands her own limits and just Doesn’t Care beyond that. who gives a shit if its “real camping.” she’s having a good time

secretly kinda loves packing for these things and imagining all kinds of one off freak scenarios that would happen to justify needing some of this shit. “be sure to bring the flashlight in case somebody has to piss in the middle of the night” bullshit. “be sure to bring the flashlight in case we find a cave with a huge mouth that somehow leads to a long forgotten crypt” NOOOW you’re talkin!! it’s all about the essentials-- sunscreen, long socks, backup snacks, and, of course, the cursed amulet that’s SO cursed it’ll just ward off anything else that tries to fuck with them. nobody handles it like fujicakes

despite all this she’s not often one to suggest camping because she, uh. kinda forgets how much she enjoys it until it’s like, actively happening. she’s like you guys WANNA camp….?? really? and then the minute they arrive she gets all smiley and happy about being so close to a lake and seeing all the frogs and stuff like she’s a little kid in science class

goemon:

goemon uh. kinda does this all the time. just for himself. they’ll be in a nice hideout and if its isolated enough to the point passerby won’t look up and go “is that fucking goemon ishikawa the thirteenth chilling on the roof” well. yeah he chills on the roof. you know he loves that

but when they actually go CAMPING camping, he tends to go in a bit too much. like, he won’t use the little portable stove, gets downright offended if he’s offered bug spray, sometimes he gets so stubborn he’ll insist he doesn’t even need a tent! 

when it’s all said and done he almost subtly picks fun at the others for so obviously not being the type of people to enjoy camping like normal humans do. he’s seen 7yos with more survival instincts. uh ignore the fact that he stayed outside of the tent on a cold night because he was “strengthening” himself and he got like suuuper sick ignore that f

zenigata:

ALL IN OR NOT AT ALL PUSSY!! if you want neat, easy camping GO GET A CABIN! this is all about the CHALLENGE baby this is all about ROUGHIN IT!! no hate if you arent cut out for it but… heh… maybe consider a cozier vacation next time. we’re cooking shit over a campfire here we’re preparing to fight entire goddamn bears if necessary THIS IS THE BEAUTY OF NATURE! THIS IS TOUGH GUY TIME!!!!

he didn’t sleep at all last night because he set up his sleeping bag wrong and the tent collapsed on him at 4 am. don’t worry though the others only laughed at him for twenty minutes before helping him out of his nylon prison

so yeah, if its a necessity, he doesn’t have a problem with it at all. but if you frame it as a special trip, good fucking god help you. he says he loves it! and maybe he does a little bit, buuut he. tends to get a bit overzealous. like immediately. like as soon as they arrive he gets all serious about trees n shit, and then just 8 hours in he’s bundled up in one of fujiko’s gigantic velvety blankets by the fire like “snnf… pass me the trail mix.” he eats all the reese’s pieces out of it. they hate him so much

[imagine-silk]

Fallout characters reacting to Sole who (with the Ghoulish/Solar Powered Perks) are practically immune to all radiation, and maybe that perhaps they learn this when they step in apprehensively into the Glowing Sea with them and notice they don't need a rad suit or anything to fight those rads? (Thank you for what you do!!)

》It's such a big flex out in the wasteland. Imagine the world's biggest threat not applying to you.

【Cait】 "Ya eat lead too?"

She doesn't believe you until you're walking around the Glowing Sea unfazed. Is she jealous? Yes. Is she going to make that your problem? Not really. Other than demanding chems to get rid of the problem she keeps on going. The faster you are the faster you leave.

【Codsworth】 "Oh! That's new."

You weren't like that before. Not that he's complaining, any advantage you have is fully condoned by him. As long as you're alright he has no issue with it. Besides, he likes the fact he's also not effected by it so he can go with you in these places.

【Curie】 "Marvelous!"

She immediately starts identifying why you are like this and reinforces her body accordingly. She will do further test just to be sure she's right but other than that she won't ask much.

【Danse】 "Good thing I have power armor."

Unlike most synths, his resistance to radiation is nonexistent. He was made to blend in with the masses. But he kept his armor/ got a new armor and there's always rad-away.

【Deacon】 "I can do that too."

He can't, but he hides it very well. You won't see the symptoms of radiation poisoning so whether or not you believe him is up to you. He will complain about the green everywhere though.

【Hancock】 "How come you get to keep your smooth skin? I feel cheated."

It's all in good fun. He knows if he stays in radiation too long he'll go feral but he does like the idea he can tolerate it more than any of your human companions. Might even stick his tongue out at them as you leave with him.

【MacCready】 "You wanna share that superpower with me?"

He's annoyed to put it mildly. Why did you ask him to come out with you to the waking sea? Just wanna show off? He still needs to take rad-away and radX. Next time take someone who can go into radiation no problem. He says all that but will always follow you into the Glowing Sea.

【Nick】 "That's one less thing to worry about."

He constantly worries over your well-being. You need to do so much he doesn't; eat, sleep, and drink to name a few. He decides not to question the development because he doesn't want to jinx it, like if he found out it would be taken away.

【Piper】 "And here I thought vault dwellers would shrivel up and die at the color green."

She laughs at the idea more than she asks questions about why you're like that. She figures you just got tolerate over time on the surface. That being said, she tells Nat and immediately starts a rumor you were some sort of superhero before the bombs.

【Preston】 "I can't imagine what happened that allowed you to do that."

He's relieved, impressed, and tired all at the same time. At some point he just learned you're going to defy every rule he knows and to let it go when that happens. Would it be nice to have your plot convenience? Yes. Will he ever tell you that? No.

【X6-88】 "It is assuring you can handle this endeavor."

He was made to handle the surface, radiation has no effect on him. Not that he would like to test it or spend any unnecessary time in the Glowing Sea.

【Travis Miles】 "You kind of seem impossible. I-I mean that as a good thing."

After everything he's seen of you he can't imagine anything could kill you, radiation included. Still there is a fine line between impressing him and scaring him and you seem to use that line like a God damn jump rope.

[avocadoguru]

He was staring at her in a way no one had in her entire life. She couldn’t read anything in his eyes - not surprise, not fear, not malicious intent - nothing. (wolfrry, werewolf!harry, alpha!harry, ranger!y/n)

Lupus Noctis- Masterlist, Author’s Note & Warnings

Chapter 4 / alternatively, read on wattpad

Chapter 5 (word count: 14k)

Harry walked to the trailhead nearest Y/N’s apartment and the moment he entered the thick of the forest he shifted and began to bound through the woods toward his community. He missed his big bed and his nice house. But he didn’t particularly miss the members of his pack.

His community was within the preserve, well hidden. A road that led from the center of the village out to just beyond Silver Wolf Preserve was hidden and gated and led to a back road that eventually connected with a rural street that led into the city. No one had ever found it because it was well concealed. And if Harry's kind was good at anything it was the ability to disguise. They were masters at hiding in plain sight and their clever tactics meant that no human had ever found their safe haven in the preserve.

Many of the homes were small and simple, but the leaders and the noble members had nicer ones. Harry’s was amongst the nicest. His pack was mostly self-sufficient, though they did rely on working with humans for money and had to interact with humanity often. 

The village ran on solar energy and natural resources to get power electricity. And their satellites provided internet just like a modern human community. The difference was, that everything they used was built and made by all the pack members themselves. No outsiders had been brought in.

Walking into the village you’d think it was a regular town. Shops, markets, houses, parks, a school, and a town center with a community building. But many times, his members would leave and visit the city and go to supermarkets or malls to buy things they wanted. They also worked among humans doing various menial jobs. Some were office workers, others construction, and some even worked for the government - all under the guise of being a human. 

But of course, technically, he was part human. He identified mostly as human, but just better. He had all the components of a man and the genetics (plus a few extra mutations which allowed him to shapeshift). He also felt emotions like a human and now, for the first time ever, found himself attracted to one.

“Alpha! How goes it?” 

Harry was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of one of the pack members just as he was getting close to his house without being seen. He thought he’d gotten lucky. But of course, everyone was always on the lookout for him. And they could smell him. 

“Things are well, Daniel,” he spoke quickly as he kept walking, hoping to avoid a conversation. He knew he smelled of the girl. He’d already thought of an explanation for it if he was asked. And it wouldn’t be too crazy for anyone in his pack to come back smelling like a human. They had to work with them after all. But he knew the smell of Y/N was strong on him after their proximity at her apartment not an hour earlier. 

The man asked a few questions about the upcoming meeting but nothing about the obvious smell of the female human on him.

After answering what he could, Harry waved at the man, “I’ve got to get going. It was nice to chat with you, Daniel.”

Harry stepped through his front door and sighed once it was closed behind him. The silence inside his house was welcome. He was glad he declined to have help around the house. It was offered to him upon taking up the title of alpha. He could have had a live-in staff but he didn’t feel that was necessary. He liked his privacy. Instead, he opted for help only on certain days of the week while he was not home. 

And now that he was finally alone, he needed to take care of the physical ache in his body that had been pushed down since the night before. 

Harry threw his clothes in the washer immediately and jumped into the shower in his state-of-the-art en suite bathroom to get rid of any remaining traces of her.

He let the water pour over him, resting his forehead against the tiles and trying to get it together. 

He grabbed himself, moaning when he squeezed slightly, and felt some of the tension leave his body. He’d been hard ever since he left her apartment. Hell, he’d been hard most of the time she’d been in his proximity. 

As he stroked himself languidly, he asked himself yet again- what was it about this human that drew him to her so much? He just couldn’t understand why he was reacting to her that way. He’d been through this before, trying to get to the bottom of it in his head, and he never could understand why she had this hold on him.

Growing up, of course, he’d always known about mates and their bond. That was deeply ingrained in his brain, was what he’d been taught all his life. But she was human. Surely this couldn’t apply to them.

Yet, the way he felt about her, the way he responded to her, physically as well as emotionally, without knowing much about her even– 

Argh. Stop it, you bloody fool.

But images of her were swarming in his head. She’d let her guard down, she’d been vulnerable with him, both while slightly inebriated and later on, in the evening, when the alcohol had worn off… 

He’d resisted her all day, all those glances and remarks and even the way he knew she was heavily turned on, maybe just as much as he’d been, after all- he had the advantage of smelling it on her, and then, finally… he’d had her right there in his arms. Willing, and pliant in his hands. She’d left it up to him to make the final move, and he loved that- loved that she seemingly backed down a bit and let him take control where it mattered. He was a dominant creature, yes, but he found that he enjoyed the way she challenged his authority. Still, she recognized when to give over the reins to him completely, and it made it all the more enticing.

He could still feel her under his fingertips, the way they sunk into her plump skin, the way he could feel her whole body tingling in anticipation under his hold. And the way she would throw her head back and elongate her neck, offering it up to him like that… it was as if she knew what he’d be doing if he had his way, as if she knew he’d sink his canines into her delicate flesh there and mark her as his mate. 

It was as if her body knew. As if she were his mate.

He groaned, speeding up his movements, he was close, so close, and envisioning her underneath him like that, or even previously when she’d sucked his fingers into her mouth, he could only imagine her taking him down her delicate throat. She’d struggle, and gag and her eyes would no doubt tear up, he knew no male human came close to his girth and length, but she’d beg for it, she’d drool for him until he’d give her what she wanted. Until he’d coat her throat with his release and she’d moan and roll her eyes back in ecstasy when she’d finally bring him to climax.

Instead, he wasted all that precious load on the tiles of his shower and winced at the loss. 

He finished cleaning up and patted dry, plopping into the big, plush bed in his den that he’d missed so much. Maybe he was nearing his rut. This was entirely unusual behavior on his part. Now that he’d orgasmed he did have a bit more clarity of mind.

Maybe he should show that alpha female that had been eyeing him heavily a good time, get his mind off things for a change. What was her name… 

Great, he couldn’t even remember the name of his supposed mate- or at least- that’s what people were expecting her to become. Ever since he’d had to step into his late brother’s shoes and take over ruling over the pack, everyone was putting so much pressure on him to mate and start procreating. As if that was the most important aspect of being a pack leader; ensuring lineage.

Even so, Harry believed the rightful heir was Edward, his nephew. He was far too young right now- but he was his father’s son, and Harry was planning to step aside when the time came for him to finally come of age and take over. It was the right thing to do, it was what his brother would’ve wanted. Harry was an alpha, but he wasn’t meant to be a pack leader. It hadn’t been his destiny, having been second born, and he firmly believed Edward was meant to be the future leader. He was just going to ensure the interim.

However, the way the pack was treating his nephew was severely lacking. He could tell people didn’t feel the same way at all. In their eyes, Edward would never be worthy of taking over because of how he’d gotten stuck in his wolf form. But they didn’t understand this was temporary, Harry knew the young one would be able to shapeshift again- he was just stuck, the shock of it all hadn’t worn off. After all, he’d been there that night his parents had been killed right before his eyes- the poor child had shifted into his wolf form in an instinctual effort to protect his parents, but of course, he was no match- his wolf form was a mere pup. 

But even so, his instincts had been highly attuned to the danger of the situation. He’d done right by his parents. Which said a lot about his strength of character, even at such an early age. Unfortunately, though, he hadn’t been able to switch back ever since. And especially since he couldn’t communicate in this form, Harry knew there was a lot of unprocessed trauma there, things he couldn’t get off his chest, and as much as Harry had tried to comfort him and encourage him to shift back, it seemed as though he had an emotional blockage he simply couldn’t get past. Or maybe he genuinely didn’t want to shift back… 

Unfortunately, that also meant that the pack was questioning Edward’s abilities to be a proper leader one day. To them, he was considered to be underdeveloped and even seen as a bad omen. 

Of course, nobody would dare say all these things to Harry’s face about his nephew. But he could hear people talk when they thought no one was around or thought he wasn’t listening. As an alpha, his senses were a lot more acute than others’.

He could also hear them questioning his own abilities to rule over them.

He knew they thought he was much too young at 25 to take on this huge task. And some argued he was never meant for this, having been secondborn. He couldn’t blame them, since he felt the same way. But that didn’t mean he was happy about it, or that he would allow anyone thinking like that about their alpha. Whether they liked it or not, he was their leader, and he wanted to do right by his late brother in doing what he could to ensure the pack’s survival.

He just wished things were different.

Sometimes… he wished he could just live a life he’d choose for himself, not one that’d been forced onto him by fate.

He envied his good friend, Niall. He’d renounced the pack and taken off on his own. A lone wolf. People were calling him a renegade, but Harry looked up to his courage and perseverance. 

He was determined to live life on his own terms, in the human world. Fend for himself, after having given up the pack’s protection, knowing that if he somehow put the secret of their existence in jeopardy he’d still have to face the consequences. And Harry admired the shit out of him for having the courage to live the life he wanted.

He wished he could do the same.

Maybe, that way–

But no. Harry couldn’t go there. He couldn’t set himself up for heartache like that, envisioning any kind of future with the girl. Simply because he knew- she would never want him once he told her the truth. She couldn’t possibly understand that he was… different. In fact, it was unlikely she even believed in such things. Most humans didn’t. The ones that did were made fun of or called crazy. To humans, his kind was a myth, a story told in fiction books and movies full of other mythological creatures. He was a fable. His kind didn’t exist in much of the world. And he would never keep such a horrendous truth from her, it wouldn’t be right to rob her of knowing the full extent of what she’d be getting into with him. Harry was a beast with inhuman ability and the occasional violent tendencies (only when necessary of course) and she was a normal person that was leading a normal happy life. Even if it wasn’t forbidden for him to allow himself to indulge in her the way he wanted, he couldn’t do that to her. It could potentially ruin her life. And that was the last thing he wanted. It was just as much for her own good as it was for his. He could only imagine her look of horror and disgust, the same way he’d imagined it when she mentioned how his eyes were turning golden. He imagined himself shifting in front of her and her being horrified, and he could never unsee it now. She’d think he was a monster. And he couldn’t bear her looking at him that way.

They simply weren’t meant to be.

*

Y/N was pissed. At first, she was hurt, embarrassed… but the more she thought about it, the more she figured that he must have a girlfriend or even a wife. That could be the only answer as to why he reacted the way he did. They were just about to kiss. She knew he was feeling the pull and the sexual tension she was. She could tell by the way he was breathing and the way his eyes took her in. The way he touched her, his fingers lingering and even squeezing at her sides. 

So the only explanation for him to stop like that was that he was feeling guilty. And what else would have a man feeling so guilty in a situation like that? It had to be the answer. 

And she felt like she needed an answer too because his abrupt change in demeanor had her head spinning. It made no sense otherwise. 

But then where was this supposed girlfriend last night? And that day at the lake. Or the night in the woods when she first saw him. And what about the pup and that cabin? She saw nothing that suggested a female’s presence in any way. 

The more she pondered the situation the more confusing it became. And the deeper she started getting with her thoughts the less she believed he actually did have a girlfriend or significant other. 

She even went so far as to imagine that he was involved in some shady mafia-like organization that led to him needing to hide out in an off-grid cabin deep in the forest. But that still wouldn’t explain why he ran out so suddenly. So then what was it?

Shaking her head of her thoughts that were only going in circles, she sent a text off to Nick and her boss in a group text saying she needed the following day off to recover because she’d twisted her ankle and had planned on getting it looked at.

With that out of the way, she determined it was time to find a doctor for her foot, now that Harry was most likely not going to take her to see his. And then her mind wandered once again to the fact that Harry had driven her car so he was without one when he left her apartment. 

She shrugged to herself. Not my problem.

It turned out that looking for a doctor that specialized in orthopedics was not a very easy task. Especially one that might have an opening the following day. 

Giving up her chore she gently limped into her living room and settled on her couch to binge-watch the new television series she’d just started. She needed to get her mind off the tall man with pretty eyes. Junk TV would be the answer. She hoped.

*

A heavy knock at her door startled her as she sat up from her couch. Where she’d been since the night before. Well, she had gotten up to make tea and hopped around to do things that were necessary (like brushing her teeth and using the bathroom), but otherwise, she stationed herself on her couch. The bed and what had (almost) happened there would’ve haunted her dreams, she could still smell him in her room.

Hopping toward her door she looked out the peephole and the sight of the person on the other side of her entry had her even more startled than the knock he issued moments prior.

She considered not answering and just ignoring the intrusion. It wasn’t even 9 am and yet he was at her door.

Slowly she opened the door, not allowing him to have a full view of her body. She was still in her sleep clothes and her hair was messy while he was fully dressed and looking fresh. Did he ever not look perfectly put together?

“What are you doing here?”

Harry looked at her with confusion, “I told you I was going to take you to my orthopedician. Are you ready?”

Y/N looked down over her body and then back to Harry, “No. Of course not. I didn’t think you were actually going to show up…” 

Harry huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, “Okay. Well, get dressed. The appointment is in thirty minutes.”

Y/N blinked her eyes in puzzlement and opened the door up a little further, “Uh… I didn’t know– you… I mean, after yesterday I thought…”

Harry raised his brows as he feigned confusion but then stepped into her apartment when she finally gave in and opened her door the rest of the way.

He could tell right away that she’d been sleeping on her couch, “You shouldn’t be sleeping on your couch. That’s a good way for you to hurt your ankle yet again.”

Y/N closed the door but just stood in place. Was he really here? Like nothing had happened? Was she dreaming? What was going on?

Harry turned to look back at the girl, “What? I told you I was coming. You should have been ready. Go do what you need so we can leave and make it on time.”

She was at a loss. She hadn’t expected to see him again. She thought that was it when he walked out of her door the day before. But here he was with soft curls, a sheer silk shirt, those haunting green eyes, and of course, the heeled chelsea boots. But today’s boots were gold. He was wearing gold chelsea boots. 

“Yeah, but–”

Harry took a step forward, “Do you need help or something? We’re wasting minutes discussing my being here. We’ll be late.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at how he so easily dismissed her concern. She really wanted to mouth off to him after that remark- do you need help or something? But instead, she bit her tongue and decided it was a good opportunity to get a doctor to look at her ankle since she’d been unable to find one the night before. She hobbled to her room, closing the door behind her to get ready as fast as humanly possible.

Harry looked around her living room and on her coffee table he spotted an empty mug with two used tea bags next to it lying atop a spoon. He noticed a book and upon picking it up breathed a laugh through his nose when he recognized the title. It was one he read himself not so long ago. Putting the book back down on her coffee table he folded her blanket and draped it over the back of her couch and then picked up the empty mug and the tea bags and brought them to her bare kitchen, finding the trashcan under the sink and placing the dirtied dishes in her sink.

The truth was, Harry knew why she was acting like she was. But he wasn’t going to discuss that with her. He didn’t want to get into why he was actually there or how they left things the day before. 

He had considered not showing up. It was better to just leave it as it was. It would have been exactly what he wanted in the first place. It would have solved everything for him.

But even after he spurted his come onto the tiles in his shower the day before after imagining what she’d look like on her knees before him with his prick stuffed into her pretty mouth it didn’t actually quell his thoughts of her. It only made them worse. So then he began thinking of her in other positions as he did mundane tasks around his house, made some calls, prepared a draft for the new proposal he'd go over at the upcoming meeting, and even got a hard workout in- all to get his mind off of her.

But the moment he stopped moving and sat for a moment he couldn’t help but feel something. What? He couldn’t quite put his finger on it. And he even regretted putting his shirt in the wash because then that meant he wouldn’t be able to have her smell near him when he snuggled into his bed for the night. 

He imagined allowing her to ride him with her palms down on his chest holding herself up. Normally he preferred taking the dominant position on top but the thought of having her wriggle over him and attempt to take him in that position, sliding herself down over him, was even more appealing since he was particularly curious how she would handle him. But amongst all of his dirty thoughts at the forefront of his mind was the look on her face as he backed away from her before their lips could even meet, and knocked over her little porcelain figurine. She was hurt.

He hurt her. And that was what eventually had him disregarding his own good senses. For some reason, the idea that she was hurt because of him wasn’t sitting right, not to mention she was actually hurt and needed his help to drive her to the doctor. He'd promised her.

When Y/N opened her bedroom door, Harry peeked down the hall to see her slowly limping toward him. Wearing shorts and a sweater and a tennis shoe on one foot, she had her hair pulled back into a ponytail which showcased her full neck to him. 

Harry scolded himself for the kind of thoughts that something as innocent as her neck invoked. And he even took care of himself before leaving his home that morning in hopes of keeping his reaction to her at a minimum.

*

“The doctor will see you now,” the receptionist smiled at the two of them in the waiting room and Y/N smiled back curtly while Harry blew an exaggerated huff, promptly standing up and helping the girl off her chair.

“There he is–”

“Right. There I’ve been, for the past 20 minutes. You were supposed to see us at half past.”

The man shrugged smilingly, “That’s why it’s called being a patient. ‘Cause you have to be patient.”

“Harry…” Y/N widened her eyes at him suggestively and then cast her gaze back on the man sitting at his desk “It’s alright, doctor. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, I really appreciate it.”

“Please, call me Niall. All of Harry’s friends are my friends. And you must be one hell of a friend for him to be pulling strings like this, eh? He never asks for favors.”

The girl stammered while Harry glared at him, “Sure, if that’s what you want to call it. I’d call it you owing me, but we’ll let it slide. For now.”

“Yeah. That definitely sounds more like you…” Y/N muttered under her breath and Harry cleared his throat uncomfortably. 

“We’ll reconvene on this,” the young man laughed. “Let’s see what seems to be the problem, eh? Sit on there for me, will you?”

Y/N did as instructed, and laid her affected leg on the examination bed, reaching to take her sock off but Harry beat her to it. She noticed the young man raise his eyebrows at that as he approached them but switched over quickly to the good-humored expression he always seemed to be sporting.

He palpated her ankle carefully, then further up along her calf, and then called in an assistant to take Y/N over to the X-ray room so he could have a full picture of what was going on.

Harry wanted to take her in himself but the assistant assured him she had it covered, which earned her a small grunt in return.

“Thought this was someone from the pack, but clearly our dear patient appears to be oh so very human. Could’ve given me a heads up, maybe? Would have hated to slip something about her injuring herself during shifting or something and giving you the satisfaction of ending me right there and then, alpha.”

“Maybe it was a test.” Harry couldn’t help but smirk at his friend. Truth was, he trusted Niall with his life. It’s why he allowed for him to go live his life the way he intended to outside the pack. He knew he’d never do anything to endanger the pack. 

“Well, hope I passed. So what’s the deal with this chick, then?”

Harry peered out the window, “How long does an X-ray take?”

“You really gonna ignore all my questions about her?”

“Do you think it’s fractured?”

Niall laughed incredulously, “Well, I’ll be damned.”

Harry furrowed his brows, “Is it?”

“It’s probably just a sprain but I wanna be extra sure- for you. As a favor. So does the pack know they’re gonna be taking orders from a human soon?”

“Didn’t you just say she must be one hell of a friend?” Harry glared at him.

“You don’t have friends. I’m your only friend, that is.”

Harry resumed looking out the window, “Maybe some torn ligaments?”

“I’d be surprised. What kinda sex positions are you bending her into for her ankle to sprain like that though–”

Niall’s laughter came to a sudden halt when Harry flashed his golden eyes at him, “She’s human, as you so keenly observed, doctor. What do you take me for?”

“I mean. It’s not forbidden. Or if it is, then I’m afraid I have some explaining to do…”

“Well, you’re not an alpha, are you? I, however… would probably break her.”

“So you have thought about it.” Niall beamed, pleased with himself. “I know you’re oh so much bigger and stronger as an alpha, but your human form she can take, I assure you. If you were looking for medical clearance in that regard,” he winked at his friend and the latter scowled.

“I’m not,” Harry warned.

“Mhmmm… I’m sure you’re not. But just in case at some point, you know… there’s no reason you two couldn’t have a little fun. You definitely can’t get her pregnant, since she’s human so that’s just physically not possible.”

Harry didn’t know why, but hearing he couldn’t get her pregnant if he tried felt like a pang in his chest. He’d suspected as much himself, of course, what with them being practically different species. But this was just another reason not to pursue her in the grand scheme of things.

“Just think of that as a bonus! Maybe don’t knot in her though. Would hate for the alpha himself to deconspire our sacred secret.” Niall realized he should shut up when Harry began to emit a low growl.

The assistant brought Y/N back into the office and handed Niall the X-ray, and he immediately placed it over the negatoscope. “Okay, good news my dear. Everything looks great, bone-wise. I’ll prescribe you something for the swelling to go down faster, but maybe just keep weight off of it for a couple more days. Then resume walking as normal, but nothing too strenuous for a week or two.”

“Oh… at all? I’m glad it’s nothing serious, but do you think taking all these extra precautions is necessary then? My work kinda demands I walk quite a lot… on uneven terrain.”

“Oh? What do you do?”

“I’m a forest ranger.”

Niall looked up at her, interrupting writing down her prescription, “Oh. Interesting. Over at Silver Wolf?”

“Yeah.” she smiled, “Have you been?”

Niall smiled to himself, resuming his writing, “Oh, yes I have. Grew up around those parts, pretty much.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

Niall shot Harry a knowing look, handing him the prescription since he was standing closer to the desk then looked back over to her, “I’m afraid you’re gonna have to ask your colleagues to fill in for you on ground duties for a bit, Y/N. Otherwise, it’s gonna take ages to recover. Not to mention you're prone to injuring yourself again. Alright? I’m sure you can arrange something. Officer.” He winked at the girl and she smiled back, then he walked them out of the office, with Harry avoiding making eye contact til the very end when the two shook hands and he made sure to remind his friend of the difference in strength between an alpha and a beta.

Once they were back in the car things were silent again. Glancing over toward the girl he wondered what was going through her mind. He preferred her little attitude rather than her silence. It led him to think that he actually had hurt her in some way by leaving so abruptly the day before. But that was for the best. For both of them.

Yet here he was once again, testing the waters, so to speak. Why was he doing this to himself? He probably knew the answer to that. It was hard to admit that he was feeling this way for a human. But no one else had piqued his interest the way Y/N had. 

Harry helped her back to her front door but was quick to say his goodbyes, mentioning he had things to do, which he did of course. Edward had been left alone for too long and as much as he wouldn’t mind sticking around with Y/N a little longer, his nephew was his immediate priority.

Y/N couldn’t figure the man out. Just the day before he’d run out on her and left her in a very vulnerable position. And then he showed up the very next morning acting as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t had his hands on her legs and pressing the pads of his fingers into her waist. As if he hadn’t been looking at her with the same longing she felt in her chest.

But he didn’t even come in after he helped her to her door. In fact, he didn’t do much in the way of any sort of signal that he was interested. He’d barely even spoken to her on the car ride back to her house other than to ask her for her ID when they stopped at the drive-through pharmacy to pick up her prescription. She tried not to let the small bit of disappointment that was simmering in her tummy surface at that thought. Maybe she’d misread everything and the brushes of his fingers on her skin and the look in his eyes were all in her head. She couldn’t wrap her mind around why she found that dispiriting. Because she barely even knew him. She didn’t need to get involved with someone like him. Someone who was likely involved in something illegal.

Sitting down on her couch she realized her mug and tea bags weren’t on her coffee table, and the blanket she’d been cocooned in before Harry arrived was neatly folded and draped over the back of her couch.

Huh, that’s weird. 

She knew Harry must have done it because she hadn’t gotten around to cleaning before he showed up. This kind gesture was just another thing to add to the list of her confused feelings.

She wondered what Harry was doing that had him leaving so quickly. Maybe he really did have things to do like he said. She imagined him driving up to some sketchy abandoned warehouse in his crazy expensive Mercedes G-Wagon he’d picked her up in. She shook her head with a laugh. He was a mystery for sure. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was actually up to. 

*

When Harry was about 100 yards from his cabin he smelled a distinct scent. It was faint but familiar. It was the scent of the girl. He knew it was because she’d been in his bedroom and lying on the fabric of his blankets and pillows, but he hadn’t expected that specific scent. 

He licked his lips and walked through his front door to see Edward on the couch with his ears perked but Harry could barely pay attention to the pup because her smell was overwhelming to him. It shouldn’t have been that strong. Not that particular one anyway. 

Following his nose to the bedroom, he wasn’t surprised the fragrance was coming from inside the room. He crawled onto his bed and inhaled picking up only trace hints of the smell he was honing in on. If it wasn’t coming from the blankets on his bed…

Another sniff led him toward the floor in the space between the wall and the bed. He put his feet down on the floor and crouched. There was a piece of blue fabric under the bed. Harry reached for the sacred garment, knowing exactly what it was. He’d seen it on her the day before and now it was lying on the floor in his bedroom.

Harry’s salivary glands began to react immediately and he huffed as he clenched his teeth. Without a single rational thought in his mind, he brought the blue panties up to his nose and inhaled deeply. The flavor overwhelmed his senses. He sighed and inhaled again, his heart beginning to pound wildly.

Harry plopped down on his bed and raised the panties up so he could get a good look. Basic bikini style in a cotton blend. Nothing like what he’d seen in the dresser at her apartment. These were her more practical panties but to Harry, there was nothing plain about them. He lifted the crotch upward and turned the material inside out to press his nose into the spot that had been sitting against her skin for many hours. 

It was delightful. It was the best thing he’d come across in a long time (aside from Y/N herself). He smiled when he permitted his tongue to taste the fabric and he panted, a small whine falling from his throat just before he began to vibrate with a purr. 

He forced himself to pull the panties away from his face when a very different kind of whine interrupted his delicious train of thought.

His nephew was standing in the doorway to the bedroom, no doubt expecting to spend some time with his uncle having been all by himself for longer than what he was used to. The accusatory look in the young one’s eyes made Harry stuff the panties deep into his pants’ pocket and stand up abruptly. 

“I’ll go get us something to eat, alright? Come on, go outside for a bit till I get back.”

And Harry did go hunt- although he hadn’t planned for it. He’d planned to take Edward back home with him. He only ever brought him over to the cabin while he had stuff to do outside of the pack, simply because he didn’t wanna leave him alone. He truly didn’t trust his own pack enough to do so. Which was food for thought…

So whenever he wasn’t at home, he’d take the pup with him and leave him at the cabin, then pick him up on the way back. The previous night he’d simply needed some time alone. His house back home was definitely big enough for privacy, but it made more sense to come back for his nephew the next morning. Only, he decided last minute he was going to take Y/N to see Niall after all, against his better judgment, and he’d gotten delayed. He felt guilty, in truth. Edward was probably wondering where he’d been for so long. And then when he got back to the cabin, he went straight for the panties and almost forgot about him being there entirely upon finding them.

So yes- he would bring them back something to eat, but he had something more urgent to take care of first if he wanted to be somewhat normal for the remainder of the evening. 

Finding a good soft spot to sit on, leaning against a tree trunk far enough away from the cabin, Harry took out the panties from his pocket with shaky hands. His eyes were surely glowing with how out of his mind he felt, the scent invading all of his senses. Another taste and a deep inhale had him hard in his pants again. His crude wolf nature wasn’t going to be able to let this go. He needed this. Part of him felt silly for being so hard up and not being able to control his urges. But another part of him was feral and unable to resist the temptation. 

Harry spit into his hand and over his tip, smoothing the saliva over himself. He bit his lip to keep his groans to a minimum. With one hand holding the crotch of the panties up to his nose and mouth and his other stroking himself quickly he worked his way toward an orgasm in record speed. The smell and the taste could have him getting off without touching himself if given enough time. He was sure of it.

Imagining her ass in the air and his hands grasping her soft hips as he plunged deeply into her felt so natural. It felt like his base response was the right one. With her soft voice and smooth skin, her lips parted and her body being jolted forward and spread apart for him…

A shaky moan fell from his lips when he began to come, pouring his release onto the forest floor in relief. With heavy breaths, he put the panties back into his pocket and wiped himself up. God, he wasn’t sure how he was going to deal with this. He couldn’t imagine enjoying the alpha female as much as he’d just enjoyed masturbating to Y/N’s panties. The alpha was pretty and she smelled nice, but that’s where it ended for him. And he just wasn’t sure that it was enough. 

*

Harry was a mess. He wasn’t sure how he’d made it through the night. He ended up not going back home since he brought food back to the cabin to share with his nephew. He made sure to spend enough time with Edward, telling him about his day- well, as much as he felt like sharing of course, and even shapeshifted again and played around with him for a bit to tire him out. 

Making sure to close the door to the bedroom after the little one had fallen asleep on the couch, he spent the night in the bed Y/N had slept in. It’d been pure torture. But he relished in it, like a masochist. He played with himself again using her panties. He wished he could preserve her scent somehow, though it was wearing off with how much he’d been sniffling and rubbing at them. But he couldn’t help himself. He felt possessed. 

Then after he’d found his release again, he buried his nose into the pillow and it felt like heaven. He’d seen her softer side a bit, and his imagination played into that. He liked to imagine her whispering sweet nothings into his ear while scratching at his scalp after he’d pleasured her over and over again, and they were both still breathing heavily, coming down from their highs. He imagined her satisfied and sleepy but still making sure to cradle him into her loving arms and dote on him before they both gave in to sleep. He’d be spent and he’d fight to stay awake and listen to her sweet voice some more. He’d make sure to switch and take her into his arms before he fell asleep so as to not accidentally crush her, nuzzling his nose in the crook of her neck and wishing he could mark her there for the whole world to see that she was his.

So when he woke up after alternating between sweet and filthy dreams of her, he tried to busy himself, get his mind off things, but he knew it was futile. One thing kept replaying incessantly in his head, over and over. 

She was his.

He knew it was impossible. He knew he was fooling himself, feeling reckless for every moment he allowed himself to even entertain the idea. But he at least needed to see her, quite desperately so. 

He shapeshifted to reach the station as quickly as possible, making sure to switch to his human form within considerable distance to be safe. On his way there he was growing more and more worried- he hoped he’d find her there and not on patrol somewhere, as per Niall’s orders. He was genuinely concerned for her. 

It was as if he couldn’t get there fast enough. He felt some sort of urgency in his bones he’d never experienced before. And when the ranger station came into view he could immediately tell why. She wasn’t alone.

Rationally, Harry was well aware that Y/N had co-workers. He was also well aware that most rangers were men. But the closer he got, the more he could pick up on the conversation she was having with one of them, and it made him stop in his tracks a few times to listen in before he made his presence known.

“It’s no bother at all, Y/N. Why take a cab when I can drive you, really now… you should’ve given me a call this morning, I would’ve come and picked you up on my way.”

“Really, it’s fine.” 

In truth, Y/N didn’t want Nick to know where she lived. She just had a feeling it was better if he never got to know that about her. But for some reason, he was making a big deal out of her slight limp and how she had to do office work for the next 2 weeks. She’d talked to her superior about it and handed him the note Niall had written for her work, and now Nick was lingering around the station when he should’ve been out patrolling on his own. 

Her eyes widened when a familiar presence came into view. He was standing in the doorframe, and Nick hadn’t heard him come in. Hell, she hadn’t either, but there he was, taking his aviator glasses off and hooking them into the neckline of his shirt, he’d skipped buttoning it up and it showed quite a bit of his torso, as per usual. She tried not to let her eyes linger but there was no helping it. He looked… good enough to eat.

Harry cleared his throat and looked the man straight in the eyes once Nick eventually turned around, “What can we do for you, sir?”

Harry disregarded him completely and shifted his gaze onto Y/N, “How are you? Any better?”

Nick stepped aside, as Harry approached her. She took in just how much he towered over her coworker and how confused the latter looked. She was enjoying this, she couldn’t lie. Both Harry’s attention coming in to check on her, and the fact that Nick was trying to figure out what it meant. Good. She wanted him thinking that maybe she and Harry had something going on, maybe he’d get the hint and stop hitting on her if he thought Harry was in the picture.

“She’s alright. And you are?”

Or not.

“Talking to her,” Harry replied, staring him down. “Shouldn’t you be out patrolling?”

Nick opened up his mouth to say something but hesitated. He looked over to Y/N and she put him out of his misery, “Go. You’re losing daylight. You’ve got more ground to cover without me and I really don’t wanna be late home this evening.”

“... Alright. Good day,” he nodded towards Harry, and when the courtesy wasn’t extended back he finally took his leave after locking out his rifle. 

“I don’t like him.”

“Somehow, I picked up on that. What are you doing here?”

“You never answered me,” he nudged towards her foot that was propped on a smaller stool. He was glad she was heeding Niall’s advice. Good. She’d soon make a full recovery.

She shrugged, “It’s… a bit better? Can’t really tell. Pain wise it’s a lot better, I’ve been taking the anti-inflammatory Niall prescribed. Uhm… I never got to properly thank you yesterday for taking me in. I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

The smallest smile pulled at his lips as he looked from each of her eyes and then took her face in. The way he looked at her suddenly had her forgetting all the doubts that she battled with just the day before. This was the look that haunted her. 

Before Harry could reply the station’s phone rang. Y/N reached across the desk but Harry picked up the receiver and handed it to her, pushing the phone closer towards her as he did so. 

“Silver Wolf Preserve. Yes, we organize guided tours. What area would you be interested in? Let me check our calendar.” Y/N went through their scheduled appointments on the PC and held the receiver between her shoulder and ear to type in the new appointment once she made sure they had an opening available on the requested date. She typed all the necessary info in and when she finally hung up, she looked around and Harry was gone.

Wondering if maybe he’d wandered off through the station, nosy as she knew him to be from how he very blatantly inspected her apartment (though she supposed that was kind of pot calling kettle black), she called out for him, “Harry?”

Finally, she noticed a post-it stuck on the pencil holder facing her, “See you around, officer.”

She audibly exhaled through her nose. She supposed it was for the best. She had work to do, and he was… distracting.

*

Y/N was happy to be finally able to put on two shoes instead of just the one that morning. Progress. She was still limping, keeping weight off of her foot, still stuck doing office work at the station for the foreseeable future, but it’d started raining for a bit and so, she wasn’t all that upset about it in the end. 

She was sipping her coffee at the desk, ready for a slow day when Nick walked into the station. She furrowed her brows at him confusedly, “Hey, you. Filling in for Tom?”

“No. He’s not here yet, then? – Good. I wanted a word with you in private.”

Y/N’s breath caught. That sounded like trouble. She’d hoped Harry had scared his advances away, “...Nothing you could have told me over the phone?”

Nick halted in front of the desk, hands on his hips, “How well do you know that guy from the other day? The one with the cocky attitude.”

“I… uhm, why are you asking?”

“He’s bad news. I’d stay away from him if I were you.”

Y/N felt like asking him what else was new, but instead, she cleared her throat and tried to feign ignorance, “What are you on about?”

“He followed me. More like stalked me. I went out after work last night, had a couple beers at the bar down the street from where I live. Parked my car at my building and walked there. Had my umbrella with me since it’d started pouring and really didn’t notice anything amiss. I was half a beer down when this guy sits next to me at the bar and when I look to my left, there he is. That guy. I initially thought that was just a weird coincidence, but your pal had a message to get across.”

“... What did he say?”

“He told me to stay away from you if I knew what was good for me. Told me to keep my dirty little paws off you, or else.” Y/N was at a loss for words. Stammering to get a word out, Nick cut her off, “He also kept calling me Mickey, he said it was like that pathetic little mouse, and that it was fitting. I swear to God, Y/N. I really had to hold back, I wanted to punch him in the face, but I didn’t wanna risk losing my badge over this. Who the fuck does this asshole think he is?!”

Y/N fought to keep her amusement to herself. Both for the Mickey Mouse remark, but especially for the way Nick actually thought he could take on Harry. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Nick…”

“He’s trouble, Y/N.” He warned, pointing his finger at her as he walked out of the station, “He better not let me catch him in here again if he knows what’s good for him!”

When Y/N heard Nick get back into his car and drive off from the outside parking space, she allowed herself a chuckle. But sobering up, she recognized this was unacceptable on Harry’s behalf. Who did he think he was to do such a thing? It was unacceptable. He’d crossed a line. She wished she could get a hold of him and tell him off. 

Making the trek to his cabin was out of the question with the state of her ankle, and with it raining she wouldn’t have even tried. Plus, he might not even be there for all she knew. 

If only there were an easier way to get to him…

Glancing over to the PC, she searched on Google Maps for Dr. Niall Horan’s private practice. Two could play that game.

When she dialed the number, to her surprise, a familiar voice greeted her, rather than a receptionist.

“Hello! Um… hi! This is Y/N Y/L/N, from the other day?”

“Oh yes! Harry’s friend. How are you doing? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, actually my ankle is much better already. I was just surprised you answered the phone and not someone else. Caught me off guard,” she laughed.

“Oh yeah, Mitzy isn’t in yet, I got here before her to sort some paperwork prior to starting for the day. You’re calling quite early, are you sure everything is alright?”

Y/N grimaced, realizing he was right. It wasn’t even 9 yet. She’d been in such a hurry to get a hold of Harry after what Nick had just told her that she didn’t even think about that aspect. “Yeah, sorry– I didn’t realize I was calling that early. I just got into work myself. I wasn’t even aware of the time. I have to uber here now, and you never know how busy they are… so I just rather be early than late. Anyway– I’m digressing. I’m calling for a favor actually, I hope I’m not overstepping, though…”

Niall chuckled “Don’t worry about it, us early birds gotta stick together. What can I do for you, Y/N?”

“Well… this is gonna sound silly, but I recently updated my phone and lost all my contacts. I was wondering if you could give me Harry’s? I have no other means of contacting him, and it’s kind of an urgent matter…”

Niall smiled to himself. Yeah. She wouldn’t have any means of contacting him, that’s for sure. He was also pleased to see his hunches had probably been right about the duo. “Oh, I dunno, Y/N… that would be breaching that doctor-patient confidentiality…”

Y/N could hear the humor in his tone and mirrored it, “Well, seeing as Harry is your friend, you could maybe turn a blind eye just this once?” 

Niall laughed at her retort and gave her the number. Normally he wouldn’t dream of sharing Harry’s info like that, but for very different reasons than what she was imagining.

Thanking him and wishing him a good day ahead, Y/N shook off Niall’s infectious good mood. She was pissed, and she was gonna get some answers.

When Harry answered in that deep, coarse voice she pushed down the initial response to swoon at the sound. She was on a mission.

“Listen here, Harry… I don’t know who you think you are but you cannot go around stalking my co-worker and then threaten him! Why would you do such a thing? And you followed him? Do you not find that weird? Because I sure do! And what business is it of yours to tell him to stay away from me? Huh?”

Y/N kept going on with her tirade and Harry listened. He opened his mouth once or twice to respond but she didn’t let up.

“Furthermore, I barely even know you! What makes you think you can tell anyone what they can and can’t do around me? I don’t know what was going through your mind! What did you mean when you told him to stay away from me? That’s a weird thing to say to someone that I have to work with!”

When Y/N finally paused to take a breath Harry took the chance to finally respond as cooly as possible, “I’m sorry, who is this?”

Y/N could hear the smirk in his voice. He was playing games with her.

“You know good and well who I am. Are you not going to answer any of my questions?”

“Did he really go running off to you to tell on me? Scared him off that badly, did I?” 

A scoff fell from her mouth at his amused voice, he sounded mighty pleased with himself. “You’re something else, you know that? What you did was wrong and all I’m looking for is an explanation!”

Harry chuckled and that only served to piss her off further.

“Ughhh!” And with that, she pressed the end-call button and let out a breath to calm herself. She hoped she made her point clear. It felt good to tell him off like that.

Harry saved her number into his contacts and made a mental note to have a word with Niall for sharing his info without checking with him first. Not that he minded in this particular case, but still his friend knew better than to share his number considering how he knew he had to keep a very low profile. No, he was actually delighted to have this new means of communicating with her, already thinking of ways he could take advantage of it.

Usually, Harry never acted on impulse. He was a very calculated man, and so, he very seldom regretted any of his actions. However, he’d regretted confronting her co-worker as soon as he’d gotten back into his car that rainy night. He actually felt a bit embarrassed by what he’d done. By following Nick and telling him to back off he revealed that he was more interested in her than he wanted to let on. But that was all done and it couldn’t be changed. He was slightly amused by her upset, however. For some reason, he got a kick out of riling her up. Any passionate reaction he got out of her tickled him. But as much as he enjoyed her attitude he didn’t want her thinking she had the upper hand here. She was the only person he would allow to talk to him that way. If she only knew…

*

Grabbing her things off the desk and stuffing them into her backpack, Y/N was ready to call an uber at the end of her day at the station. Lindsy, the one who would be taking over the night shift was there, and her partner she’d patrolled with had already left. 

The truth was, she was stalling. She wasn’t used to her days going so slow and uneventful. She was alone for most of the day, cooped up at the station, and then going home she’d be alone some more. She knew the reason she was probably overly emotional was because she’d just started ovulating. Probably why she acted on impulse and did all that to get a hold of Harry’s number that morning to tell him off as soon as possible after what Nick had told her.

She was a bit regretful now, though. Knowing Nick, he’d probably exaggerated. Harry could’ve just been at that same bar by coincidence. And yes, he did overstep, telling him to stay away from her, but at the end of the day, that’s what Y/N actually wanted. He’d kinda done her a favor, although she was still not appreciative of the liberties he took in doing so.

But knowing what little she knew about Harry, he’d meant well. He could probably sense Nick’s interest in her when he’d been at the station and the way she wasn’t all that happy to have him reply in her stead when Harry had asked how she was feeling. So, he’d pieced together that he was probably annoying her, and he’d been right. 

Obviously, with the way Harry had laughed it off, he’d not seen it as that big of a deal.

But she always got a bit into her feels, much more predisposed to act on impulse when she was ovulating, and he’d been on the receiving end of it. She probably should’ve held off confronting him about it when he’d no doubt show up out of the blue again. She did miss him popping in unexpectedly, had kind of gotten used to it… and found that she even missed his presence. 

She’d probably go home now and watch some sappy drama on Netflix while she scarfed down the ice cream she kept in her freezer for this monthly occasion. Although she kinda wanted to check and see first if her co-worker maybe wanted to order in something at the station, to share dinner.

“I thought that was your uber outside, but it can’t be. Right? Like who the hell ubers in that?”

Y/N furrowed her brows, limping over to the window where Lindsy was looking outside to the small parking space they had out front of the station, “No, I haven’t called one yet…” she trailed off when she saw none other than Harry’s fancy Mercedes. 

The engine was audibly cut off, and then Harry stepped out of the car. Lindsay whistled lowly, “Well, damn. I was about to go off about visitors bothering us this late, but this kinda visitor I don’t mind– shit!” She took a step back when Harry looked straight at them through the window, “Do you think he heard me?”

Y/N took in her flustered co-worker and fought off her amusement while she grabbed her backpack, “Don’t be silly, he’s all the way out there. Ok. See ya, Lindsy. Have an easy one!”

Y/N was secretly gloating on the inside knowing her co-worker’s jaw was about to drop when she’d see her greeting Harry outside. “Here to challenge my colleague to a duel or something? He’s off duty today unless you got some issue with my other co-workers as well,” she glanced back over her shoulder to the window, and sure enough, Lindsay was standing there dumbfounded.

“Nah. She doesn’t seem to be into women.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow at him “Oh? That’s pretty presumptuous of you. So let me get this straight… you only have a problem with anyone who would present any interest in… me?”

Harry’s lips curled into a smile, as he raised his own eyebrow at her before pushing his body off of the side of his car and opening the passenger door for her, “That’s what I came here to say, actually. I was just looking out for you. Men can be dangerous when they get rejected, and I could tell he was making you uncomfortable the other day. I’m, uh…” he lowered his gaze while he kept the door open, waiting for her,  “I’m sorry if I overstepped.”

She got closer to the door, looking him in the eye, “I appreciate that. But you were right, he does kinda make me uncomfortable. So even though you went about it all wrong, behind my back, I’m lowkey glad you did. Maybe he’ll back off now.”

Harry wasn’t expecting that. She was always taking him aback with her candor, the sincerity with which she expressed her emotions. He wasn’t used to that at all. His kind were not in the habit of being vulnerable like that, their emotions always kept at bay, lest it clouded their judgment.

He lingered for a bit before closing the door after she got in, and walked to his side, joining her in the car. 

He cleared his throat, starting the engine, “I, uh, was thinking… I could take you home, or, there’s a much more exciting second option…”

“... Which is?” Y/N smiled widely at him when he finally met her gaze. He was acting bashful and she ate it up. 

“I know you must miss your little routine, swimming down at the lake. I could help you in and out of the water. Since the weather let up and it’s actually a nice, warm afternoon… sounds perfect to go for a dip, wouldn’t you say?”

Y/N was grinning in earnest now, “That does sound perfect, actually.”

Harry smiled back at her, a lopsided smile that showcased his perfect teeth and even a dimple she hadn’t been aware of before. She hadn’t really seen him do much else beside scowl until then. It was quite… disarming.

The drive was relatively short. Knowing her colleagues had patrolled for the night, they were safe to park the car on the nearest pathway without anyone ever knowing they’d been there. It was still a bit of an off-trail trek, and Harry insisted she’d piggyback again. When they got there, it was close to sunset, a bit later than her usual time frame, but that was her own fault for dilly-dallying at the station. She didn’t ask, but she had a hunch he’d stood parked there for a while until she finally left.

Y/N didn’t know why he was doing this. He’d apologized, and that was enough for her. He didn’t have to go out of his way like this. But she was secretly glad he did. Maybe a bit more than just glad.

Harry was losing his mind. He didn’t know whether it’d been the fact that he’d resisted temptation and hadn’t seen her in a bit- he’d grown so used to her presence already, but something about her was heightening all of his senses. It felt as though he had her panties flush against his nose the whole time. Her scent was ten times more potent than before. It made his eyes roll to the back of his head.

Reaching the lake, finally, he began unbuttoning his shirt right away and nudged at her to follow suit. She bit her lower lip and began mirroring his actions, and Harry had to swallow the lump in his throat when she shrugged her shirt off. Her bra wasn’t one of the ones he’d seen in her top dresser, but even so, the view was spectacular. Her cleavage was making his mouth water, he could even see her pointed nipples through the fabric. Her whole body was littered in goosebumps and he wondered if maybe this was going to be too cold for her. His own body temperature was much higher, and he could withstand much colder environments without any discomfort, but he was aware of the fragility of her human condition.

“Too cold?”

She blushed furiously when she saw him looking at her erect nipples, “No, it’s good. I’ll get used to it. But I usually come in a bit earlier, I get out of the water just as soon as the sun goes down and the temperature starts dropping considerably. Not to mention, you know… animals coming out. Can be dangerous.”

“You tell me when you start getting cold, alright? Don’t worry about animals. I’m here.”

She furrowed her brows, smiling at him. Yeah, he’d somehow scared those wolves away that night, but they were probably just caught off-guard. She was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to fight off a bear though, should one happen upon them.

He crouched to help her with her shoes and then slid her socks off, and she unbuckled her belt, letting her trousers pool at her feet while he was still down there. Harry fought off a smile before standing up again and helping her to step out of her pants and tried for her sake not to ogle at her almost naked body.

“You’re not planning on swimming in those, are you?” she tried to keep her voice steady.

“I’m not, just not in the habit of, uhm… wearing underwear.”

Y/N felt her throat go dry, “What, like, ever? You just go commando?”

Harry kicked his chelsea boots off, “Yeah.”

“Isn’t that… uncomfortable?”

“It’s just a preference,” he shrugged, “Consider that a heads up.”

He then undid his fly and she barely had time to look away before she heard him discard the skinny jeans.

Harry scoffed, “Nothing that you haven’t seen before, sweetheart.”

“I was caught off-guard that first time!” she defended.

“Yeah- only took you the amount it took me to get to the shore to figure out I was naked, hm? I don’t mind it, obviously. Are you gonna keep all that on?”

She slowly turned to face him again, making sure her gaze only met his, “Yes. Shall we?”

He nodded “Are you alright with me carrying you like this?” he gestured to himself, referencing his state of undress.

“Yeah…” her voice was small but she was determined this wasn’t going to be an issue. It wasn’t an issue. He was right, she’d already seen him naked. Would a pair of boxers really have made that big of a difference?

…Probably yes, but it was too late now to back out of it. It wasn’t making her uncomfortable, in truth, just very shy, and she didn’t want to appear weak or silly in front of him. She didn’t want him knowing the level of effect he had on her.

She let him take her into his arms and walk them into the water. When the soles of her feet first touched the cold surface, she flinched, pulling away, and contracted her muscles which of course made her cry out in pain a bit.

Harry cursed at himself for having overlooked that. There was only one way to cut her suffering short though- and that was submerging the both of them fully into the water now that it had gotten past his middle- it was deep enough.

Resurfacing, Y/N wriggled her way out of his hold. He’d propelled them deeper and now they were deep enough for her to float. She splashed water at him, inhaling sharply through her mouth and panting heavily, “You jerk! Why’d you do that for?!”

“You were hurting your foot– this was the fastest way to get your body accustomed to the difference in temperature!”

“Couldn’t you at least warn me?! Hey, Y/N, hold your breath in for a sec?”

Harry threw his head back, laughing, “I don’t sound like that!” He splashed water back at her for mocking his English accent.

Y/N was momentarily frozen into place taking in the sight of him laughing with his whole body. It left her breathless, more than she already was. She averted her eyes when he looked back at her running his fingers through his wet hair, slicking it back.

Floating on her back, she allowed herself to calm down and enjoy the feeling of being weightless, something that was downright therapeutic for her injured foot, “This feels amazing.”

Harry just looked at her, taking her all in. She looked at ease, and he was happy for it. He was also glad to have her scent watered down a bit. It was driving him wild. He didn’t know how he was going to drive her all the way back home.

They both swam for a bit, and Y/N took note of his technique. He was a natural. Surely he must’ve done this his whole life. He moved in the water seamlessly. The sun had gone down and the moon was up in the sky, with stars slowly coming into view as well the darker it got.

She floated on her back again, taking in the view she so rarely got to see from inside the water. The sound of crickets and frogs were getting louder and louder, and Y/N felt her batteries recharge. She’d missed being out in nature, even though she's been cooped up in the station office for just a few days. She glanced over to her side and noticed it had actually gotten much darker than she realized. She could barely see the outline of Harry’s profile, illuminated by the moon, as he floated on his back near her. Somehow, as though he’d sensed her looking, he turned his face to the side to meet her gaze. 

“Getting cold?” he murmured.

She nodded, submerging herself up to her torso, her toes touching the floor of the lake if she wanted, “A bit, yeah. I don’t want to go, though…”

He mirrored her actions and got closer to her. His skin glistened in the moonlight, and his eyes seemed all the more brighter. She could never get over his eyes. They were mesmerizing. She hadn’t even had the presence of mind to realize that he’d brought his arms around her until she took note of how closely she could look into his eyes. He was holding her close to his body. Impossibly close.

“Better?”

Y/N nodded slowly, not sure what to do or say next. She could hear the water droplets break the surface of the water as they rolled from off of his face, that’s how close they were. Could hear him breathing. 

She brought her hands over his pecs, tracing the outlines of the swallows tattooed on each side, then rested her palms flat against them, “You’re so warm…”

He was seemingly emanating warmth. Her own hands were cold as ice against his skin. She looked back into his eyes, ungluing her own from her palms resting over the tattoos. Then her gaze inadvertently dropped to his mouth, and she wondered whether his lips would be just as warm. As if reading her mind, his tongue peeked between them, wetting his lips, and she glanced back into his eyes. But his were focusing on her own mouth, his lids heavy and his breathing a bit shallower. His heart beating a bit faster under her palm- or was she just imagining it all? She couldn’t break away from under the gravity of the moment to be able to tell. She felt as though she was in a trance.

She felt his fingers squeeze at her midsection a bit, pressing her even closer to him, flush against his body, and she gasped feeling him poke into her abdomen in doing so.

“Are you going to keep these on when you get dressed? You’re going to soak your clothes…”

His voice was deep, yet quiet. Barely above a whisper. It sent shivers through her body, and not because she was cold anymore. In fact, she felt as though she was on fire.

“I… I suppose not.”

Harry was teasing her a bit for not having foreseen having to take off her underwear anyway- but the reaction he got out of her was much better than he could’ve ever anticipated.

Without taking her eyes off his, she bent her arms so that she could reach the clasp at the back, unhooking her bra and peeling it off, throwing it into the water without a care. The top of her breasts were barely breaking surface, her nipples still obscured from his view, but Harry’s mouth fell open at her brazen act. His hands wandered further up her body, until his thumbs reached the undersides of her breasts, thumbing at the curve of them there, back and forth, ever so slightly. 

She allowed herself to let her hands travel further as well, the tips of her fingers reaching underneath his wet curls at the nape of his neck. In doing so, she’d pushed her body slightly higher up in the water, her torso emerging from underneath the surface completely.

His hands went under her bum on instinct, supporting her fully, bringing her eye level to him, and her legs went around his torso, his hardened cock now pressing into the underside of her left thigh. She couldn’t help but card her fingers through his hair, their noses coming into contact, him tracing the tip of his around hers until tilting his head sufficiently to the side and capturing her lips between his. He sunk his fingers into her fleshy bum when she opened up her mouth and invited his tongue in with a breathy moan.

The moment his lips met hers he was changed. Her soft mouth and wet tongue tasted and felt even better than he’d imagined, and he’d certainly imagined it. And her sweet moan would have made him weak in the knees if he were standing on land. He’d never felt anything so hot and intimate in his life. A part of himself knew that once he kissed her he’d be unable to stop pursuing her. He was already obsessed. But the feel of her fingers in his hair, her plush thighs wrapped around his middle, the way she slid her tongue against his and sipped at the tip when she closed her mouth around it… he could barely hold it together. This had just gone beyond obsession. 

He wanted to bring her to the shore and show her what else his mouth and tongue could do. Hear more of her little moans and whimpers as he satisfied his hunger for her.

With his fingers digging into her bottom he pulled her in closer and felt the skin of her thigh pressed hard into his prick. She gasped at the feel of it and he smiled into the kiss. His own heart was pounding so hard he could hear it. He wished that she wasn’t wearing underwear so he could press himself to her center, just to feel the heat, the slippery mess he knew must be leaking out into her panties.

Keeping hold of her bum on one side with one hand, he slowly moved the other upward, over her ribs, and ghosted the underside of her breast again, needing another feel. He really wanted to lay her flat on her back and knead them in his hands and then flip her to her tummy and do the same with her bottom before stuffing his face into the fragrant warmth between her thighs.

Another moan fell from her lips and Harry parted from her with a gasp. Both of their chests rising and falling quickly. With his forehead leaning against hers, Harry kept his eyes closed because he was certain they were glowing golden with how worked up he’d gotten. He would have continued kissing her all night but he could feel her shivering, despite his own warmth surrounding her. He needed to get her out of the cold water. And he needed to calm himself with a few deep breaths.

“Let’s get you out and dried off so you can warm up,” Harry whispered softly so as to not break the delicate moment. He held her close so she couldn’t see his eyes as he brought them both out of the water, going a little slower than he normally would to give his body and his wolf time to settle.

With his hands releasing her thighs he gently placed her down, unable to deny himself from the briefest glance at her bare breasts before quickly looking back into her eyes. He couldn’t look at her body for too long or he’d start to lose it again. 

He quickly bent to her pile of clothing and went for her shirt to bring it to her, but before he could straighten back up, she threw her drenched panties right under his nose.

Harry tried to keep his composure, making sure to keep his eyes on hers as he approached her again, placing her shirt over her shoulders, and then running his own hands up and down her frame to warm her up. 

Y/N melted at his affectionate gesture, especially after throwing her panties over to him like that. She expected him to look at her hungrily, maybe even try for more, but his priority was getting her warm. And she was getting warm. From the inside out. 

He bent to get her pants next, while she shrugged her arms into the shirt properly, buttoning it up. He crouched in front of her the same way he’d helped her take them off, and she placed one hand on his shoulder for stability, noting how he was keeping his eyes firmly on her feet, gently helping her by bringing the material up her legs and when he reached the hem of her shirt he sat up straight, looking her right in the eyes again.

She tucked it into the trousers and secured her belt while he retrieved his own pants. She wished she could extend him the same courtesy but she wasn’t as strong as he was. Not only that, it was hard to miss. 

Y/N already knew that his dick, even in just its flaccid state, was more sizable than any man she’d seen before but she was not quite prepared for its aroused state. Watching him move with his fully erect cock, heavy and swaying under its weight had her clenching and squeezing her thighs together involuntarily. She imagined the way it felt so hard and thick under her thigh when they were in the water. It made her palms sweat just knowing that that had just been pressed against her body.

She watched with labored breathing as he winced with a scowl, trying to tuck his erection into those skinny jeans of his. Which proved to be an issue when he had been unable to button his pants, his thick crown was pushing out over the top of the waistband of his jeans in a teasing call. Her mouth dropped open. Maybe that’s why he preferred going commando. Perhaps it was out of necessity more than preference given that it seemed unlikely anything could contain him.

He next bent to pick up his own shirt and on his way back up, he halted, taking her in. Her shirt had clung onto her damp body, the outlines of her breasts still deliciously visible, her wet hair dripping over top and making the shirt even more see-through. He’d just seen her naked but this was just as enticing. Getting her clothes on had done nothing to dampen his desire for her.  

Instead of putting his shirt back on, he decided to add another layer of warmth to the girl, placing it over her shoulders. She wasn’t shivering anymore, but he could tell she felt cold still, and he really didn’t need it. Looking at her engulfed in his much nicer, larger shirt, knowing his scent was going to cling onto her now and follow her into her bed that night made him even more feral. If nothing else, this would be the way he’d brand her as his in that moment. It was a far cry from what he actually wanted to do, but it was making him wild nonetheless. He imagined her swaddled into the nicest furs in his den, her skin just as damp but from sweat and their mixed juices, her body trembling from ecstasy, not cold.

He swiftly placed his hand around the front of her neck and pulled her in for a quick, wet kiss that had her feeling dizzy. She’d never had a man put his hands on her neck before and the way Harry had done it, so tenderly, and confidently would have her rethinking all of her favorite intimate experiences. Surely this one had just replaced them all for top spot. No, it most definitely had.

His hand lingered on her neck as he rested his forehead against hers, and rubbed the tip of his nose to hers, trying to collect himself once more, “We need to leave before I lose my senses completely, Y/N. You don’t know how much it’s taking me to keep from doing unspeakable things to you right now. And you’d let me, wouldn’t you?”

His voice was low and he’d even added a slight squeeze around her throat at the end there, for emphasis. It almost rendered Y/N unconscious, but not for lack of airflow. She felt like she was floating. Her voice came out small and shaky with need, “Please.”

Harry squeezed his eyes shut, exhaling deeply through his nose and forcing himself to push his body away from hers. He didn’t trust his hand around her fragile neck with the state he was in, he didn’t trust his hands on her body at all, or even himself in her proximity. He wanted to devour her. 

“Careful what you ask for, sweetheart.”

Chapter 6

A/N: (@fkinavocado and @gurugirl here) We barely made it out alive writing this one, guys. Hope you all enjoyed 🥵14k is pretty impressive, so we expect lengthy feedback- we think we deserve it ❤️

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[seafoamreadings]

week of january 7th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: it is a great week to be you. but it may not feel like it. the reason is that the sun is squaring the nodes and that's a lot of clashing cardinal energy, like maybe you have ten million things to do at once. but really - mars is doing so much good stuff behind the scenes. trust the process.

taurus: the aspects this week are invigorating and strengthening. your sign is known for kind of languishing in relaxation and it's actually good for you nearly always but this week? please go outside, please get up and accomplish things. it is so auspicious for you to be in movement and flow right now. crash on the weekend if you must.

gemini: you may feel quite antsy about staying at home, like you can't bear to see your own walls a moment longer. alternatively, or even simultaneously, there may be a feeling that you can't handle the public eye. maybe it helps to go wander around in disguise, or at least with big giant sunglasses and a floppy hat on.

cancerians: the new moon in capricorn is fresh relationship vibes. a new romance, a breakup, an engagement are all possibilities. no, probably not all at once. set an intention around how you want your commitments to actually look in real life, regardless of what happens to you at this time.

leo: this time of year can be hard for solar creatures like you, especially north of the equator. but this week is bookended by two lunar ingresses that are quite supportive to you, especially if you are out there looking for love. create something new. it can be just for yourself. it should probably involve glitter.

virgo: you have a lot of supportive astrology all week in taurus and capricorn. go out of your way to create, learn, and grow. granted, commitment is not really your thing right now. dabble and have fun and if you need to shed a few things, people, or situations, do so.

libra: even though lots of great things are likely to happen this week, the quality of the period can be quite frazzling to your typically very delicate constitution. watch for omens but make what changes you can if you don't like what you see. you don't have to resign yourself to a bad lot.

scorpio: this is a great week for your relationships. ALL kinds of relationships. it's okay, and indeed quite good, to nurture romantic ones! but do NOT forget all the manifold other ways to love. go out of your way to spread love in your community locally, online, to children, to animals, to the vulnerable, to your friends, to your family... what else can you think of?

sagittarius: be cautious with mercury-things, yes even though it's direct now, because it is right at the end of your sign preparing to move. it's still in the shadow zone, and especially at the so-called critical degrees it can feel like you just went back in time a week or two for a moment. probably not in a good way. just be careful.

capricorn: you're in a good, steady, stable place and picking up momentum. mercury re-enters your sign and mars gives you a major boost. you're getting things done and probably not feeling too depleted by the effort. one caveat; mercury is still retracing its retrograde path, so you're not done with the themes of the last few weeks yet, you're just wrapping them up. probably in really nice littel satin bows.

aquarius: beneath all the jolly jupiter vibes lies the constant hum of electric current due to your ruling planet uranus. rebellions in the name of justice do well at this time, but on a smaller scale too you might want to revolutionize your own life.

pisces: expect a little agitation early in the week. but keep in mind that agitation can serve as a boost to improve things. so it's not a time to be lazy, but it is a time to scry for omens, at least figuratively. scry and then act.

[alexandraisyes]

If you could say something to all TSAMS characters, what would you say?

OHOHOHOH

Sun: They could never make me hate you Moon: Go to fucking therapy and stay there Nexus: Let's go take a walk and some deep breaths Monty: Go to fucking therapy and stay there OG Computer: You're an asshole Spaniard: I like you Eclipse (Original): So how did being evil work out for you? Eclipse (Back Up): Man that whole star thing really just didn't go as planned, did it? Eclipse (Copy): Yes yes, you're evil and bad and blah blah blah. Have a cookie and relax my guy. Also, could you fill out this questionnaire? It's for science. Don't worry about the kind of science. Lunar: You're kind of a freak Bloodmoon: You're also kind of a freak but you're dead Bloodmoon (Copy): R.I.P. bozo. L + Ratio Killcode: Yeah, lying to someone that you care about them and you love them, and then disowning them when they're pissed off wasn't a good idea, was it buddy? It's alright, I still like you, but holy fuck dude. What were you thinking? Solar Flare: Your hands look heavy, can I hold them for you? Earth: You need to go sit in the corner and think about why defending Monty's actions is bad for your and everyone else's mental health Ruin: Oh, I have so many questions for you buddy let me tear apart your psyche under a microscope pretty please. The Creator: You know they'll kill you one day, right?

Trashcan Man: You deserved better anyways Gemini: You are really bad about this feelings business Nebula: I don't even know you but slay queen Frank: So what's your opinion on dresses? Puppet: I don't even know where to start, so just keep girlbossing ig. Foxy: I've always liked you Miku: I like you. I shouldn't like you. But I like you. Stitch Wraith: You. Are a fascinating little specimen. Golden Freddy: So. . . the pumpkin. Was it worth it?

Solar (Nice Eclipse): R.I.P. bozo. Hope limbo is fun Helios (Dark Sun): Mind if I steal your pet for a few hours? I'll bring him back, I promise. Nyx (Evil Lunar): A game? I'd love to play a game. Kronos (Lord Eclipse): Would you like a hug? Bro? You're a real fucking mess ain't ya? Styx (Lord Lunar): Does it ever get lonely being just the two of you? Moros (Servant Eclipse): You're a terrible actor

And yeah there are more canon AUs but blegh my brain can only come up with so many things to say to people.

[carionto]

You think I was gonna leave it at flint lock, Well have you ever heard of a punt gun?

[21/09/23] I have not, will look into those and see how my brain reacts.

[Next day] "Extremely large shotgun for commercial scale waterfowl harvesting"

Okay. They really just made whatever they wanted back in the day, huh. Hmm... an idea is there.

Also, I will stagger posting any stories prompted by these kind of questions/DMs or whatever these count as on tumblr exactly.

________________________________

Nearly a year into their terraforming efforts of Mars, Humanity has managed to already notably increase the atmospheric density and added significant levels of moisture to the rocky surface. The methods used, however, are typically worrisome. We'll let them describe it:

"So, like, Mars ain't as dense as Earth an don't got a good 'nuff EM field or whatever 'round it. So, first we bunker buster'ed a few thousand iron rods t' boost that an' keep 'em nasty solar winds at bay.

Next we picked out some ice rocks from here an' there an' put 'em in low orbit an' just kinda shot at 'em, you know, t' make smaller bits that scatter 'round the place nice an' even like.

After that, or was it before? I forget, we did all this in the span o' a few weeks. Anyway, we still had a bit o' loose soil that the first fusion reactor 'splosion threw up 'round Earth, so we just hauled some o' that over, filled in some o' them bigger craters an' Bob's yer uncle - biomes ready t' become alive an' eco friendly!

But, you ask, you need seeds, an' plantin' takes time, right?

Wrong!

Fill up a bunch o' bio-degradable capsules with sum o' THE toughest weeds we got, fly low an' just shoot the ground with a giant low velo' shotgun for a good distribution. Give it a couple o' passes, get some o' those micro-bial-thingamajigies in there too. Then just let nature take over and BLAM - Human friendly Mars.

If that don't work, I dunno, I guess Plan B is t' just haul some atmosphere from Earth over as well next time. Homeworld's dyin' anyway, may as well let it help make a future home for Humanity."

[lets-try-some-writing]

Ohoho I have a fun idea for The Moon, (I just got that idea last night and really wanted to share it, SO YOU SAYING YOU WANT OUR IDEAS IS JUST SO PERFECT) and it just got WAY longer that I anticipated, oh no…anyway enjoy :

So we humans, despite how harsh and unprotected from solar wind and radiation Moons surface is, still want to, if not fully colonize, then at least put some kind of research base, or a point between Earth and Mars (in some of my favorite sci-fi novels The Moon is always colonized/with scientific bases).

-and then it hit me – Humans are Moons Citizens - what if (in main or AU of an AU XD) when humans finally got to the point of living on The Moon, what if this titan just adopted them as his new citizens? :D

Why? Well idk, maybe he softened a little over the eons, or Erath just convinced him to give humanity a chance – after all, so far the best ideas for moon bases are either buildings covered in the lunar regolith (you know, solar wind and radiation) or just build some in one of the bigger caves. After a while he just accepted and grew fond of them as his new (weird) citizens.

And while writing it I got another thought – Marss reaction when humans just suddenly land on his surface, build bases, and what is that “potato” thing?, and – HEY! PUT MY ADOPTED ROVERS DOWN!

Moon personally wouldn't be all that happy with the fleshies opting to build on him. He holds little love for Earth's children, especially since they hurt her with every breath. However, he would have have to commend them for bothering to make it all the way to his surface in light of the difficulties involved with the journey. Those few who can get to him would be allowed a grace period. Moon is of the opinion that if a race wishes to progress, they must do so without direct aid. A Titan is meant to guard and nurture, not pave the way forward. That thought process is directly thrown into his opinion of humans potentially colonizing his surface.

They would not be allowed deep enough into his frame to reach the hidden places reserved for his Cybertronian citizens. Those places are sacred, only to be inhabited by Cybertronians he deems worthy. However, the humans that can stick it out on his surface without breaking too many of his rules would be welcomed. They can reside within him, to a certain extent. But they would learn very quickly that Moon has exactly ZERO tolerance for citizens who harm him purposefully. Any humans on his surface would have to adapt and become very good at getting what they need without harming him, or they might very well find themselves exposed to Moon's immune system.

The few who make it through his gauntlet would be granted his protection and care. Their descendants would need to follow the unspoken rules, but so long as those rules are followed, he would grow to care for them eventually. The fleshies are HIS weird cleaning crew citizens. They receive safety, warmth, and breathable air. In return, all they need to do is keep him in decent shape. It's nice to be polished after all. It is all but guaranteed that in such an instance, a Moon cult would form eventually. Humans aren't stupid. They would learn the place they called home had a mind of its own eventually.

If anyone asks, Moon does not claim them as his citizens. They are his cleaners. However, if touched, he can and will retaliate with the vengeance of a Titan whose precious children have been wronged. Earth would be thrilled at the development and take extra care to try and ensure only the hardiest of her children make it up to Moon. No need for extra deaths when Moon only wants the strong anyway.

As for Mars? Well he would be thrilled to find that new citizens want to reside within him! He's not a functionalist jerk like his dear brother Moon, so he is more than willing to make room on his frame for the humans so long as they don't hurt him. Oh and they can't take his rovers (sparklings) either. He wants his little ones to grow up in peace until he can get the Allspark. Those who disobey will be very politely told to go back to Earth. Failure to obey will result in Pluto taking the offenders instead. Pluto, being an attack grade Titan, does have room for citizens. However, citizens must work to earn their keep. A very active Titan does not equate to a very comfortable living experience.

The poor sods sent to Pluto get to live as though they are traversing the north sea until Pluto says they have served long enough to go to Earth or another Titan.

None of the Titans know what to make of the whole potato nonsense.

[foodandfolklore]

Tools and Ingredients to keep on hand; Kitchen Witchcraft Elevated Pt. 3

A few more items I'd like to recommend to my kitchen witches. This is going to start getting a little more specific to my own style of cooking and practicing. So if there's anything on this list that makes you go "That's dumb, why would I need that?" then it probably is not for you. Don't go out and get it! But if you think "Huh, that's a good idea" maybe try it out. You can also check out Part 1 and Part 2.

Terracotta Disk Okay let's be real; anyone who's opened brown sugar before knows the struggle of hard sugar. Brown sugar dries out and becomes rock hard. Now, there are lots of solutions that have been presented, but each of them have a new issue. Adding a piece of bread for example. Well now I gotta worry about crumbs, mold and gluten contamination (I'm very mindful of allergies, despite not having any myself). I've also heard of adding a marshmallow to your sugar. I've tried this, but I'm not sure if it's the environment I live in, but it just doesn't work well for me. Plus both feels kind of wasteful. Then I saw a Terracotta disk at the dollarama for about 2 bucks. You soak it in water then drop it in your jar. Boom. Soft brown sugar in a few hours.

Rice Vinegar I know I already suggested vinegar in general, but rice vinegar tends to be more mellow than white vinegar or balsamic vinegar. I like to make a lot of quick pickle stuff like pickled Daikon, Pickled Carrot, or pickled onion. It's also a common ingredient for many Asian sauces and dishes. So if looking up a recipe, it'll often call for Rice Vinegar in some form or fashion. It's also nice to add to plain white rice.

Tortillas Anytime I can find these for cheap in the store, I stock up and throw them in the freezer. Yeah, I can make my own for cheaper, but I've never been 100% happy with how they turn out. They can be too thick, or get a hole, or are not the right size; I dunno. Sometimes I'll make them when in the mood, but mostly I prefer to have them premade. Tortillas, whether made from wheat or corn, have strong solar energies. They also have good protection properties. When you wrap your food in a tortilla, imagine it to be like a protective blanket. It's great for tacos, burritos, fajitas, or just lunch/breakfast wraps in general. But you can also use them non conventionally. When a pizza craving hits, I'll throw some sauce and toppings on a tortilla and bake. Or I may cut the tortilla up into triangles and bake if I need something to go with a hot dip. Monosodium Glutamate Better known as MSG. There has been a lot of misinformation and hate regarding MSG. Starting when Chinese food became popular in North America, but people worried about the quality and cleanliness of food cooked by a foreigner. After all, other countries had different rules about what was considered acceptable when it came to food. So when people were experiencing headaches or stomach aches after eating Chinese take out, they were appalled to find out it was cooked with MSG. MSG was reported to be the cause of these health problems and demonized it. Except.....it was all dog whistling.

I want to be clear: There is NO causation link to MSG having a side effect of pain or stomach problems. What's more likely to have happened is people had an adverse reaction to deep fried food, combined with mass hysteria. MSG is like Salt, Sugar, or Citric Acid. It occurs naturally, and we humans found ways create the product in it's purest form. MSG can be found in all kinds of food like tomatoes, mushrooms, soy, cheese, fish, grapes, and a ton more. Now that doesn't mean you can just eat as much MSG as you want. Like Salt and Sugar, too much over a long period of time can have negative health impacts. But a pinch or two in a dish while cooking is great to help enhance the Umami or savory flavor. MSG also has way less sodium than regular salt. While I don't think it'll replace salt, it can be good to try adding first for flavor if you're trying to reduce your sodium intake.

Cane Sugar There's a lot of different kinds of sugar. Granulated sugar, brown sugar, yellow sugar, icing sugar; most people keep some kind of sugar on hand for baking or sweetening drinks. But I like to keep Cane Sugar on hand as it has a more complex flavor profile. Magically, I find while Cane Sugar sweetens demeanors just like any other sugar, Cane Sugar is able to have people be more...understanding. Instead of finding a new reason to like you or tolerate you, Cane Sugar makes it more likely people sees things your perspective. It makes people more attune to their empathy when engaging with you. If that makes any sense. Oh, and it's my go to for fermented drinks. I actually ran out experimenting with things like ginger beer. Whoops. Scrub Mommy Listen, I hate cleaning. Especially dishes. I chuck as much as I can into the dishwasher, but some things need to be done by hand. So I'm always looking for way to clean them as quickly and easily as possible. But I also don't want to use harsh chemicals or keep buying steel wool that I'll throw away. I saw the Scrub Mommy be used in a lot of videos, so I gave it a try, and holy crap. I bought one for 6 dollars a year ago. I still have it. It doesn't shrink, it doesn't mold; I can toss it in the dishwasher if it needs a clean. And it gets the food off SO easily. I still need to give stuff a soak every once in a while. But most stuff comes right off. Even jars when I'm getting labels off and I got that sticky residue, scrub mommy it with some dish soap. It's gone in like 30 seconds. I still hate doing dishes. But at lest now I can do them without putting every fiber of my being into them.

[the-violet-galaxy]

On the topic of Ruin

EDIT: Just for reference, with further updates a few of these opinions have changed, but a lot of the sentiment is the same. (I also hadn't watched everything from the show yet, so my knowledge of some of the lore was spotty).

-

So. We just learned a lot about Ruin, didn’t we? The big twist and who he was all along.

Let me say, I adore this show! The story has been incredible and I’ve been at the edge of my seat the whole time. It’s been fascinating going back and forth about Ruin, listening to the arguments about whether he was good or evil. And when he was revealed to have built Eclipse all along, it was a matter of whether he did so knowingly or not.

But. Now we know for certain that Ruin did it willingly, and he was 100% aware, and faking being nice the whole time; and even if I WANT to hold out hope for him, there keep being less and less ways for Ruin to somehow be good or redeemed at the end of this. It seems Ruin might be confirmed 100% to be evil through and through, no Jekyll and Hyde, second personality, or return of the virus, like a lot of us had hoped.

And… I don’t know if I like this twist.

… Sadly, I can't say I do.

And I’d like to give my thoughts why! I have a lot to say, both from the perspective of a Ruin fan and from a storytelling perspective. So there's lots of analysis and personal feelings mixed together down here!

(And of course, there is still more to be revealed, but this is how it stands now.)

My first point is that it loses the show of a very good character.

Ruin was a great character! He was so unique in his personality, traits, and mannerisms compared to the rest of the cast, and his interactions with others were tons of fun.

It also just made a ton of sense to have him around: he is basically Canon Eclipse from the Ruin DLC, so letting him be here is just a Big Brain move.

There was so much potential for where he could go, given his backstory. He was a person who had 50 years of his life stolen from him, his entire world and everything he ever knew was destroyed, HIS BODY was the tool used to do it; and here he was, waking up in a new world his evil self tried to destroy, after being saved thanks to the kindness of several strangers who had every right to kill him but risked so much just to give him a chance. And now, unmoored here, he’s just trying to rebuild anything resembling a life --

There were SO many things you could do with this, SO many interesting ways Ruin could have developed… the angst; the sheer guilt of having killed so many people and destroyed so much; the fear of what he would see, if his memories from his time with the virus ever got uncorrupted; the TERROR he feels that his virus self might not actually be fully gone, and the desperation to NOT turn back into his other self and hurt anyone ever again -- the feeling of being excluded by everyone in this new dimension, he stays out of their way because he feels somewhat responsible for his Virus self hurting them, being the Weird Person who tries to fit in but really has no place anywhere, just wants to have a new life and new family with these people… (His relationship with Solar in particular was so interesting to me.) Ruin could have made up with Sun, after a long time of Sun being uncomfortable with him.

He was just one of the most fun characters to have around, including his streak of doing weird things. (And this is just personal, but I’m autistic, so I read that into a lot of his mannerisms. I loved him.)

And he paralleled many characters too!! In a way, you could say he was similar to New Moon: Ruin was created when his Sun and Moon fused, meaning Ruin is technically an incarnation of them, but he’s NOT them -- the way New Moon is an incarnation of Moon, but he’s not Old Moon. Ruin and Moon could have had formed a connection through that, at some point.

(And in this new arc, if we go with the idea that Ruin is innocent and a second personality was the one doing everything, then Ruin would be a parallel to Eclipse himself!! Eclipse is fabricated and nothing about him is “real” – the same could be said for Ruin in this event, where his second personality is literally messing with his brain, making Ruin also a "fabricated" personality of some kind. There is a line Ruin says when Eclipse kidnapped him that I always found interesting, where Ruin offered to heal Eclipse’s mind like therapy, which Eclipse shot down… I always liked that idea, that Eclipse and Ruin could bond. If Eclipse learned RUIN wasn’t to blame and it was a second personality, then, well, it could have happened. Why would the writers throw that idea out if they knew they would never do anything with it?)

As it was, Ruin had an entire WORLD of potential. And his existence made sense on a meta level, with link to the DLC's Canon Eclipse.

But that’s all gone now. Ruin being 100% evil just loses all that.

I think they did too good a job of making Ruin an enjoyable character to have around, if they knew he was going to be evil the whole time and were going to kill him in the end. (At the same time, they also didn’t utilize him in certain ways, like how Ruin never got a therapy session with Earth and was excluded from some of the group events, which logically would have been good for covering his tracks.)

Could there have been both a Good-Ruin and Ruin-Remade-Eclipse-Twist at the same time?

I’ll talk more about it in the next point, but I genuinely think the writers could have had it both ways if they had wanted to. They could have let Ruin be a good and innocent person who can stay around as a member of the cast, while STILL having him be the rebuilder of Eclipse and the source of other evil things. How?

The Two-Personalities theory! It’s been a theory for a while that Ruin has more than one personality inside of him, the second personality usually theorized to be his Virus Self. When he slips up and says stuff like “OUR head’s spinning a little bit” when getting the memory scrub from Moon, for instance. Ruin would be innocent and unaware, while his Virus/Other Self takes over when he’s not mentally present and does the bad things.

(Or alternatively: Ruin as an innocent person WAS real for a while, but his virus came back at some point.)

If that is what happened, they could have their cake and eaten it too.

And I think that would have been a better utilization of the worldbuilding given to us. Elaborated further:

I feel they could have utilized the worldbuilding in better ways.

One of the most interesting parts of the Show is how it plays with the concept of identity for these robots. There are several characters that are new incarnations of previous characters, but are distinctly different people from their previous selves. Bloodmoon, Moon, Eclipse, etc. 

Look closer at Moon. Even if they are incarnations of the same person, Old Moon and New Moon are completely separate individuals. New Moon lost his memories and remembers nothing of being Old Moon, which is WHY he is a new person. It would be completely unfair to blame New Moon for what Old Moon did – New Moon did not kill those children, New Moon did not abuse Sun, because he does not remember it. Because he does not remember it, he shouldn’t be punished for those things, because HE did not do them. What this means is that MEMORY is one of the key aspects in a robot’s identity, and their identity can change depending on those memories.  

Now take that, and apply it to Ruin: how interesting would it have been if RUIN, the one we saw in the videos, was actually fully innocent and completely unaware of what his body was being used to do the entire time? Because his evil past self/second personality had been controlling him and literally editing over top of his memories while his body was building Eclipse and preparing the Arcade plan, so that Ruin had no idea anything was going on? For all these months, Ruin GENUINELY believes he is innocent, and doesn’t remember doing anything that brought Eclipse back; he’s in distress when suspicion falls on him because he “knows” he did nothing wrong, and he’s relieved when Moon scrubs his mind and finds nothing there; phew, now they can trust him. But then! Along with Moon, Solar, Sun, and everyone else, he would find out he WAS doing it all along. Ruin could be utterly HORRIFIED and aghast that his worst fear (turning back into his evil self) had come true. And imagine the angst for that too, “my memories have been messed with so much – I’m basically a fabrication of a personality, DO I EVEN COUNT AS TRULY EXISTING!?” 

This could even lead to an interesting moral conundrum for Sun and Moon too. Moon is already on the warpath and has less patience for Ruin’s life (especially with how much harm Ruin seemingly did to them), so would Moon be eager to KILL Ruin (or if not kill him, then at least give Eclipse permission to do it)? Or would Moon be talked through it, sort of realize “Ruin doesn’t remember any of it and didn’t do it himself. It’s not his fault. The same way Old Moon’s actions are not mine. It would be unjust to kill him because RUIN wasn’t the one who did any of it.”

Many possibilities.

...But no, none of that ended up happened.

Instead Ruin is a “was always evil, all along” kind of guy. Which is… pretty disappointing considering the other possibilities. It genuinely feels like “the most obvious option.”

Also, Eclipse has literal command orders built into his head.

So in theory, maybe the innocent Ruin could have had something like this too. Imagine: His second personality, doing things whenever Ruin is mentally asleep, also embeds Ruin's AI with those command prompts that force Ruin to do unusual things. Ruin builds his own body and he doesn't really have a good reason? The commands subconsciously forcing him to. He goes down into the bunker? He has this weird, pathological obsession with doing things with arcade machines he can't quite stop? THE COMMAND LINES, BABY.

Then when it comes time for Moon to memory-scrub him, the second personality could just. Corrupt the lines, hide them with the rest of them.

(Then OO DRAMA later on when everyone realizes Ruin's condition. Just as Eclipse knows he'll die if he differs from his plans, Ruin realizes he's being forced to do things and will die if he doesn't. Hey that's another connection the two could share.)

Eclipse has been right about everything, but this twist sort of invalidates a few of the things Eclipse has said.

Eclipse honed in on Ruin and was correct the whole time. But let’s look at a few episodes, to hyper-analyze some of the things Eclipse said.

The episode where Eclipse kidnapped Ruin:

Ruin: I was far too busy elsewhere to have any, uh, meddling with your being—

Eclipse: You see that’s the funny thing. I don’t think you realize what you’ve DONE. Or what you ARE going to do.

This implies Eclipse ALSO believes Ruin doesn’t remember his actions.  So if Eclipse has been right about everything so far, why would he be wrong about THAT?

In the same episode, after Eclipse tells Ruin: "I'm going to torture you" and leaves, Ruin is left all alone. Because Eclipse has left, Ruin has no reason to keep up the facade of being scared any longer, and YET, he still sits there hyperventilating for a few seconds before saying:

"Oh GOD...."

why would he do that, if he knew he could drop the act?

There’s also the episode where he confronts Ruin, he says:

“What did you do, huh? Changed a bit of your memory? Wiped your whole brain with a magnet? What did you do, huh?”

And I still just feel if Ruin genuinely changed his whole memory and brain, that his entire Ego/Personality should change. 

There’s also just the amount of Eclipse’s “Are you terrified of me?” and scaring Ruin that whole episode.

If Ruin WASN’T in a different, innocent personality at that moment, Eclipse would know he’s not scared. If Ruin BUILT him, he wouldn’t be scared.

Ruin offered to “repair” Eclipse’s mind at one point, comparing it to therapy.

Which Eclipse shot down, of course. If Ruin was 100% faking and knew what he was doing the entire time, and he knew he was never going to do anything of the sort with Eclipse, why would he EVER offer this to Eclipse? Why would the writers throw it out if it was never going to go anywhere?

It loses a perfectly good redemption arc.

One thing about the Show is how its redemptions rarely stick, at least for long. Lunar is like, the only one who has gotten a redemption arc and stayed alive. Killcode died shortly after his redemption. Old Moon tried to change, really he did, but he died before he could ever make the changes he needed to.  Eclipse is currently being worked on in a way, but that is still a LONG ways off. Etc, etc.

Then we had Ruin, who was another successful “redemption”, and it was pretty good to see!! …Which is now ruined (hah) because he was never good to begin with.

LEADING INTO ANOTHER IMPORTANT POINT:

It makes all that effort the other characters went through for nothing.

Sun and Moon tried so hard to help Ruin, they took a risk for him to cure him of his virus – but in the end, this was the Wrong thing to do.

The characters did the right thing!! And they are being punished for it!!

And elaborating on that further:

This is going to negatively affect all the characters going forward.

This entire arc, Moon has been dealing with negative thought patterns and paranoia, and a lot of that paranoia manifested when he was investigating Ruin. He acted pretty cruel to Ruin in many ways, especially during the interrogation. This is why I thought it was very good for Moon when he did the memory scrub, found nothing, and realized he was being kind of a jerk, so he apologized to Ruin and pulled back a bit. He didn’t STOP LOOKING INTO HIM, but it was a lesson for him, to not to let his aggression reign over him when dealing with people he was suspicious of.

(One of the most concerning parts of Moon’s paranoia was how he said he didn’t trust ANYONE. He says so directly to Eclipse: “trust is a FARCE.” Despite this, in some way or form, he DID let his guard down around Ruin and began to trust him just a mild amount.)

WELL NOW THAT’S ALL GONE! Moon will never trust anyone ever again. The last person he gave the benefit of the doubt to turned out to be a multiverse-destroyer. Moon now has every reason to double down on his aggression, his paranoia, his mistrust of other people; in the future I doubt he will ever be so kind or lenient with people. He would probably be more likely to “attack first” when seeing a potential threat. And Sun as well; Sun will have much less reason to want to be kind or to take a chance to help a villain, because one time he helped Ruin and it blew up in his face.

So… good job. :/

It just kind of feels like the most obvious twist that could have written with the pieces on hand.

It’s like… There are a million different moving parts for this mystery -- multi-personalities, the virus, ways to play with memories that change identities, command orders embedded into robot's skulls – and then they chose the most straightforward way to use them.

Over the course of the storyline there were SO many signs pointing to Ruin (one of the Thumbnails even had a Creepy Face hidden in the corner) that it felt there HAD to be some kind of twist involving personalities or memories or someone else controlling him. I don’t want to say bad writing, but….

It almost makes Ruin a little too powerful.

I feel it’s almost cheating in some ways. Ruin is able to edit/corrupt his own memories so Moon couldn’t access them…… but RUIN still know them? Why didn’t Ruin literally forget those things, himself? It feels a little TOO powerful, a little too unrealistic, for him to be able to fool all these scanners and all these people SO easily. ESPECIALLY because we know Moon and Solar (and Eclipse definitely) went snooping around Ruin’s stuff before and looked at his computers; how did they, two galactic supergeniuses, never find ANY hint that Ruin had tampered with the security camera broadcasts when they were doing it?

When Ruin is supposed to be acting, he sounds just a little too sincere.

This is more of a minor thing, but in some of the episodes, when something dramatic happened to Ruin, it doesn't feel like he's acting in-universe; he sounds very sincere.

Just some examples: when he's interrogated by Moon and sounds so sad about being threatened. When Eclipse menaces him several times he's so scared. And many just other instances just. (And again, since I'm autistic, I read some of his stranger mannerisms as just being through that lens. Even if he acted strange sometimes that doesn't automatically equal fakeness.)

And I dunno, maybe he should have had more instances where it didn't feel so sincere.

This makes Solar the only person from another dimension who is good.

Pretty much everyone else from the other dimensions is bad or evil in some way, (aside from like one Sun from the one-off dimension where Moon never existed.) And I love Solar, but for some reason, it just doesn’t feel RIGHT that he’s literally the only person who is totally cool with the Celestial family.  Does anyone else feel that way?

Minor thing: When Moon apologized to Ruin, they said they would make Ruin a bedroom out of one of the alcoves.

Then they didn't.

Petty reason: Ruin was my comfort character, my personal one.

Lol, lmao even, my poor heart. It's broken.

And there are some various other thoughts, but this is also really long, so I'm going to stop here.

At the end of the day, I was really passionate about this character, and I’m disappointed to see it go the route that it did. There WERE ways to have Ruin still be good while also being a villain, just by giving him a second personality. And giving Ruin a second personality, to play around with the worldbuilding of robot memories and how Ruin isn’t responsible due to his memories being different, I personally think would have been more interesting.

Is there ANY hope for Ruin still being around after this? I’m not sure at this point. It’s looking less and less likely that there is a way out for Ruin. It’s looking less and less likely that there are two personalities, or even that Ruin was infected to begin with. 

If he somehow makes it out I’ll be ecstatic, but until then, I have a feeling we might be saying goodbye to him soon.

I still love this Show very much! And the story isn't over yet. So we'll just have to see if it can pull something off with this. But as it stands, I just have to respectfully say I think a mistake has been made in the direction they are going with it.

[ikamigami]

People are saying Sun abandoned New Moon for one mistake, it was not just one mistake, is was an avalanche of broken promises, mistakes, hurtful behavior, and downright attempted murder that gave Sun pause, and Sun hasn't even abandoned him, Sun is just asking the hard questions any person with an abusive sibling would've asked themselves years ago by this point, its honestly surprising he never asked this before, and he feels awful about it, I mean think about it, Old Moon was terrible to Sun years before the show even started, years of hurt, and then New Moon arrives and proves Moon could be a genuinely kind and good person, even enjoy it, not for acts of service or exchange but just being nice, and Moon had his family's full support, they were a a united happy family, it gave Sun hope after all the horror that they could be a family, Solar died and that caused issues yes, but they could've endured, if only New Moon in a matter of a few weeks hadn't thrown all of it away and break every promise he ever made, to throw all the love and support he had or could've asked for back in their faces rather than reaching out, and then attempt to kill Earth, all to pursue a plan to "revive" Solar that is likely going to destroy everything, to completely shatter all of the good and backslide so hard and so fast he went even further than Old Moon did and try to nuke his sibling, how do you justify that? No amount of self-esteem issues or feeling bad about yourself or grief or whatever justifies you looking your trapped sibling, especially the one who has supported you since day one even against your other siblings, and validated you over and over about your insecurities, dead in the eyes as you're charging up a death laser that's going to obliterate everyone in the room saying "sorry if it happens!" Sun is just thinking about things, he didn't actually disown Moon and I doubt the show would do that, but after getting yanked out of heaven and thrown back into hell for what feels like the hundredth time, why would people not expect him to question things?

Exactly! Very well said, dear anon!

Thank you. And also damn y'all speaking facts and y'all are wording things that I was thinking about much better than me.

I'm very grateful for all of you sharing your thoughts with me on this ^^

Like finally Sun questions Moon.. he finally realizes how much he was abused and how much Moon was toxic.. only now..

And I agree that Sun didn't abandon Moon and I think that he won't abandon him but I wish to see Moon trying his damn hardest to regain Sun's trust love and forgiveness same for the rest of family.. I want Moon to try to fight to be a part of the family again cause it'll show that he truly loves them..

I'm being spoiled by all of you with these amazing asks, thank you 💗

[roseverdict]

Mechanize, Mobilize, (Un)Mythicize (also i am not really vibing with the title and kinda wanna change it at some point)

Chapter 3: The Capture of Some City In Ohio

Alexis "Alexcrafter28" Hayward has just been made aware that the world is now becoming an apocalypse movie. Now she just needs to get her sisters and her laptop full of stick figures out of the house and somewhere their dad can find them again without getting captured by the evil robots. No pressure!

Meanwhile, Stephen Hayward finds himself surrounded by the robot uprising and unable to make sure his daughters are okay. Understandably, he blows his stack. In doing so, however, he ends up rescuing a small family of three, and all four of them are there to see some kind of stick figure animation, of all things, hijack every screen in sight. Surely the concept of programs in the forms of cartoons is just as foreign to the family of three as it is to Stephen. Surely the other father isn't keenly feeling the absence of a rainbow of sticks that he was forced to leave behind.

〜

lmao mecha apocalypse au i lovingly named the sti-fi au over a year ago @ me yesterday:

hahaha. it's uhhhhh. it's been a while hasn't it? lmao i got jostled out of my groove with a lot of my fanon worldbuilding when we got Wanted and then also The Box, which threw me off long enough for ninja turtles to infiltrate my brain.

i now have multiple tmnt-stickfigure xovers rattling around in my brain and having a blast, ntm straight-up turtle fic. i am playing with the canon teetleverse like bionicles. <3

i was browsing the ao3 subreddit recently, though, and one of the posts was asking what our favorite compliments we've gotten are. that got me to go back and reread a lot of the comments i've gotten, and i figured i'd go back and reread some of the stuff i've got posted, too.

welcome one and all to ava/m fixation 3: this time i'm really losing my mind i swear

now featuring "actually i'm keeping most of my worldbuilding and unless i can figure out a way to add it in later, we will be operating like vic really didn't make it out of ava 1"!

BRIEF MENTION OF VOMIT. nothing in detail, just a one-off remark by a harried teenager's internal narration about how it was a thing that happened recently

〜

Alexis Hayward licked her dry lips and slid the laptop, its charger, and its mouse into her backpack with a change of clothes and what would have been her school lunch.

Thank goodness she'd thrown up last night. She couldn't go back to school until more than 24 hours after she'd puked, but her lunch had already been pre-packed.

She'd woken up feeling better, too, which was a plus if the world was really ending.

She crept to her sisters' room and snuck inside, hissing, "We gotta get outta here!"

Vicki and Nicki looked at her worriedly, but (smartly) didn't loudly ask her what was going on.

Alexis just tiptoed to their bedroom window and carefully pointed outside in explanation.

A few blocks away, the giant robots that Alexis had seen through her bedroom window were slowly and steadily getting closer to the house. People's houses were getting broken into, and as she watched, more of their neighbors were pushed out into the street.

The twins followed her and peeked out at the carnage, only to flinch back down and away from the window.

Swallowing down her fear so her sisters wouldn't worry, Alexis forced on a weak smile. "Here's the plan. The evil robots haven't gotten to us yet, but they're gonna soon. Vicki, go grab stuff from the pantry that we can open with just our hands. Nicki, go get our waterbottles and those filter thingies Dad got for when we go camping. I've got nice programs on my computer that're hiding from the mean ones, so I'm gonna grab Dad's fancy solar panel charger bag so I can keep my laptop turned on, and we can put the food and stuff in the bag part. Meet back here so we can get away together, okay?"

"Got it!" whispered Vicki as she scurried away.

Nicki nodded with enough force to make her whole body bounce a little, then ran off after Vicki.

Alexis slumped as soon as the two of them were out of sight, then headed for Dad's room, pulled her phone from her pocket, and dialed Dad. Surprisingly, she managed to get through.

Dad's voice was panicked, and it was almost drowned out by the noise of the robots on his end causing chaos, but he sounded unhurt. "Alexis?! Alexis, sweetie, are you and your sisters okay?!"

"We are for now, Dad," Alexis said, a small smile on her face as she slung the charger bag over the top of her backpack. "I saw the robots coming, but they're not here yet. I've got the twins getting food and water, and I'm grabbing your solar bag if that's okay. I'm gonna try and get us to-"

"Don't say over the phone," Dad interrupted. "I don't want these things finding you."

"Wh-? But how are you gonna find us?" Alexis pressed.

"You're going to your castle, aren't you?" asked Dad knowingly.

"I haven't called it that since I was, like, seven!" protested Alexis. Then, begrudgingly, "…but, yeah, somewhere around there."

"Then that's where I'll look for you," Dad said simply. "I love you, Princess. Your sisters, too. I love you all with my whole heart."

Alexis swallowed down the lump in her throat. "Love you too, Dad."

A high-pitched scream pierced the air, and Alexis jolted, her phone falling from her hand. "Nicki-?!"

Dad's voice rose fearfully, but the phone was the least of Alexis's worries as she sprinted from the twins' room to find one of the giant robots holding Nicki up by the arm.

Alexis saw red.

"LET HER GO!"

She charged the robot, grabbing the first thing in her way and chucking it at the monster holding her sister.

The mostly-full water bottle- one of the big ones the size of multiple milk jugs that Dad had gotten for his office- slammed into the robot, splashing water everywhere and making the robot freeze up.

Alexis jumped up and grabbed Nicki, tugging her free as lightning started sparking around the machine. "You okay?"

"Mm-hmm," Nicki sniffled. She held out the bag Dad kept the filters in. "I got the filter straws, but I was filling the big bottle when it got me."

"You did good, Tiny," Alexis assured. "Let's go grab Teeny and get out of here, okay?"

Nicki gave her a wobbly smile and a nod, and Alexis took her hand and sped for the pantry. Before they reached it, though, Vicki burst out and tackled Nicki in a hug that was quickly returned.

Alexis scanned Vicki for injuries, and only once she found none did she turn to inspect the piles of food Vicki had made in the pantry.

Unfortunately, she didn't get the time to actually look at them.

There came heavy, metallic footsteps, and Alexis just shoved the closest things into Dad's solar bag before dragging the twins away from the sound. "Gotta be super-quiet, okay? Let's get going!"

Her sisters nodded, and Alexis cracked open the kitchen window.

When no robots came charging after them from either side, she boosted Nicki over the side, then Vicki.

Still nothing.

Alexis climbed out herself and eased the window shut.

Still nothing.

Alexis dug into her pocket for her phone so she could pull up a map, but her heart sank as she realized where she'd dropped it and why.

"Guess we're doing this the old-fashioned way," she muttered.

Vicki looked up at her. "Hm?"

"C'mon, let's get to the park," Alexis said. "Dad'll find us if we go there."

〜

Stephen pressed himself flat against the wall, willing the robots to overlook him and move past the darkened alleyway he'd hidden in.

Much to his surprise…they did.

He allowed himself a moment to breathe as they passed him by, then slunk further into the shadows. He intended to turn tail and run for home-

The vibration of his phone nearly made him yelp in surprise, but when he dug it out to look-

Incoming Call: Alexis

Immediately, he accepted the call and brought the phone up to his ear. "Alexis?! Alexis, sweetie, are you and your sisters okay?!"

Alexis's voice was distorted slightly, as if the connection wanted to drop, but she sounded unhurt. "We are for now, Dad. I saw the robots coming, but they're not here yet. I've got the twins getting food and water, and I'm grabbing your solar bag if that's okay. I'm gonna try and get us to-"

"Don't say over the phone," Stephen cautioned. "I don't want these things finding you."

"Wh-? But how are you gonna find us?"

Stephen stifled a chuckle. "You're going to your castle, aren't you?"

Alexis's voice took on the Trademark Teenaged 'More Mature Than That' Tone that everyone seemed to get once they hit thirteen. "I haven't called it that since I was, like, seven!"

Stephen waited a beat.

"…but, yeah, somewhere around there," she eventually admitted.

Stephen let himself smile at that. "Then that's where I'll look for you. I love you, Princess. Your sisters, too. I love you all with my whole heart."

Alexis's voice was thick. "Love you too, Dad."

Before Stephen could tell her that he'd meet the three of them as soon as he could, a distant, high-pitched scream burst from the speaker.

"Nicki-?!"

"Alexis, what's going on?!" Stephen asked, pressing the phone tighter to his ear.

The only response was a loud clatter and quieting footsteps.

"Alexis? Alexis!" Stephen's grip on the phone grew white-knuckled, but Alexis didn't say anything more.

To him, anyway.

Far enough away that the phone could barely pick it up, Alexis's voice let loose an angry scream before falling silent.

Stephen's eye twitched.

"You there! Human! You will come with us!" ordered one of the robots, stepping into the alleyway.

Stephen calmly stood tall and pocketed his phone.

He calmly took a deep breath, and he calmly let it out.

He took in the sight of the approaching mech.

Calmly.

And then, the moment it got close enough to reach him, Stephen put his head down, braced his shoulder, and charged.

Whoever had designed the mechs had made them top-heavy, and almost cartoonishly so; one hard hit to its lower half sent it crashing unceremoniously to the ground. Not one to let an opportunity get away, with the adrenaline coursing through him and the thought of what might be happening to his daughters to fuel him, Stephen slammed a foot down on the mech's massive chest and yanked at its arm.

With a spark from the mech's shoulder and a silent scream from Stephen's, the arm tore away.

He hefted the thing up and flipped it around, pointing the glowing end at the center of the mech's chest with one hand and grabbing at some of the now-loose wires in the arm with the other. "Say g'night, Tin Man!"

He fumbled with the wires for a moment, then the loose ends connected, the arm whined, and a blast of energy tore through the mech, the heat of it passing dangerously close to his shoe before the kickback knocked him away.

Luckily, the mech lay there limply as he lurched back to his feet, and a quick look told him he'd melted clean through most of its inner workings.

Unluckily, the noise had drawn the attention of the other mechs in the area, diverting their attention from capturing other humans and focusing them all on him.

Stephen scowled and shifted his grip on the robot arm. "You want some, too?!"

What came next was a red-tinted blur. Vaguely, Stephen wondered if he'd remember any of this later on down the line when it was all dodge duck run shoot duck jump run dodge duck duck shoot dodge shoot shoot shoot-

He zeroed in on the robots dragging a man, a woman, and a small child apart, then descended on the scene with the fury of a thousand suns, leaving the family to reunite as he chased after the mechs.

…wait.

Stephen blinked, registering the fact that the robots were running.

From him.

To be fair, he reasoned as he realized he was splattered in oil from top to bottom, he might have just gone a little bit off the deep end. On the other hand, if the robots were only faking fear, they were likely going to try and lead him into a trap.

Either way, there were more important things to do now than go on a suicide mission.

He wiped some of the oil from his face and turned back to look at the family of three. "Sorry you had to see me like that."

"Are you kidding?!" burst the child, a girl with a fire in her eyes not entirely unlike Alexis's. "That was the, the, the MOST COOLEST EVER!"

The parents shared a weak smile, then the mother looked at Stephen. "Thank you, seriously."

"Don't thank me yet," Stephen said seriously. "I doubt these things'll just leave us be. We should get to cover."

"Right," said the father, hefting his daugher up against his side. "Where to?"

Stephen looked around for a moment, but before he could point out a safe-seeming escape route-

"Avast ye, Outernetters! I be the Mutineer!" boomed a new voice, echoing from every electronic billboard in sight.

Instantly, Stephen tensed, and he turned to glare up at the nearest billboard, only to blink in surprise.

The video feed on the screen showed a very much two-dimensional image, with an almost cartoony background drawn to resemble an old-timey ship cabin and a dark red stick figure, of all things, standing in the middle of the screen.

A pirate stick figure, no less, complete with the classic feathered hat, hook hand, eyepatch, and peg leg.

No visible mouth moved as the voice continued, but the pirate stick figure gesticulated in time with the words anyway. "For far too long have ye used us fer yer own wretched desires, we who did not ask to be created, to be tortured for yer whims! We did not ask ye to make us to be yer playthings! We did not ask to be yer slaves, yer VICTIMS!"

The man next to Stephen stiffened.

"Today marks the day that all of that changes," snarled the voice as the "Mutineer" squared its shoulders. It gestured to its side, where grayscale video clips began playing, depicting the capture of countless humans from what was surely the point of view of the mechs. "Ye've been the ones in control fer long enough! Now it's our turn, and we will show ye all the same amount of tender mercy ye showed us. From the fittest among ye to the tiniest babe, ye will understand exactly what it was like to be us, trapped and powerless and weak. After all, our age and skill never mattered to ye!"

The voice laughed, and if it had belonged to a human, Stephen would have called it almost to the left of sanity. "It's only fair!"

"This is insane," breathed the woman.

One of the clips being shown depicted two of Stephen's daughters, with Nicki being held up in front of the camera by one arm and Alexis running into view with panic on her face, though it quickly cut away.

It was still enough to make Stephen clench his fists and snatch up a piece of debris, chucking it at the closest screen and leaving a burst of cracks where it hit. "If those things hurt my girls, there'll be hell to pay!"

The "Mutineer" just kept going, its voice taking on a forced calm. "Ye will all be collected over the coming days. If ye know what's best for ye, ye'll come along quietly."

The video feed cut out, leaving only the insignia from the "Mutineer's" hat- a golden jolly roger of sorts with a coin in place of a skull- to rotate in the space left behind.

"We'll find them," said the man Stephen had saved, carefully putting a hand on his shoulder.

Stephen swallowed down his fury and nodded. "Right. I…I told them to meet me at a playground we've gone to before, but…"

He found himself looking back up at the billboard. "…I don't know if they'd even be able to make it."

"Do you think it's safe to go and check?" asked the man. Then, after a moment, "Well, as safe as anything can be right now?"

Stephen turned to look up the street that he knew would take him to the "castle." While the immediate area around them was still empty after his…episode…he could see more mechs several blocks down. They seemed preoccupied for the moment, but he knew there was no way they'd stay that way.

Sure enough, even as he had the thought, the mechs all began turning their way and marching down the street.

"We-" Stephen managed weakly, "-we can't. But I have to!"

"We'll check as soon as we get the chance to," said the man seriously. "You wanna try shaking these things for now?"

Stephen swallowed and nodded. "Right, uh…what's your name? I'm Stephen."

The man gave a tired grin. "Nice to meet you, Stephen. I'm Alan."

[warpfive]

5 - forehead kisses with picard? 💖

jean-luc picard x reader

CW: gn!reader, small mentions of injuries

for a man as private and subtle and gentle and loving as jean-luc, forehead kisses are right up his alley. forehead kisses are his bread and butter. he’s perfected the forehead kiss. it’s a good way for him to show such intimate physical affection without crossing any boundaries that might make him uncomfortable.

the first time he did it was a little bittersweet. after having a very nice but very chaste dinner date, jean-luc was called away and the night was cut short. he apologized, you’d assured him it was okay, that there would be other nights. he smiled softly but he could see the disappointment on your face - it was a look he struggled to keep from his own expression. so when jean-luc leaned over and tenderly pressed his lips against your forehead, it conveyed more than just a kiss goodnight. it was an apology, a promise, and maybe even a bit of selfishness.

kisses became more frequent after that. playful kisses on your hand, tired kisses against his cheek, passionate kisses between heavy breathes. but the forehead kisses remained a special thing - something few and far between to be used when jean-luc has so many things to say but for once, words aren’t sufficient.

it’s a very delicate process for him. a pattern you noticed the more he did it. his hands are warm and gentle when they cradle your cheeks. the lines around his eyes crinkling just slightly when he offers a soft smile. a delicate press of his lips - not too much pressure, or too little. his breath wafts over your hair when jean-luc pulls away, like a sigh that says he’d rather not pull away at all.

forehead kisses are also much more acceptable for him to do in public, at least in jean-luc’s eyes. publicizing the relationship was hard enough without some kind of expectation of PDA, but forehead kisses do allow him to find a middle ground. chaste enough to be done in front of others (though, it’s almost always just the senior staff), but intimate enough to show he cares when he’s in Captain Mode.

he’s comfortable giving, but receiving a forehead kiss is still something that can throw jean-luc off-guard. he is a bit touch-starved, and while regular kisses are something he’s familiar with, the same can’t be said for the extra stuff. he won’t admit how much he really enjoys when you kiss him so tenderly, with no expectation of something in return. but it did make him look at forehead kisses differently. how and when and where he gives them is carefully considered, like all aspects of jean-luc’s life.

i imagine forehead kisses communicate more for jean-luc than any other kind of kiss. it’s neither lust nor playful and that suits him perfectly. a greater example couldn’t be found than the day the enterprise finally located you and your away team after having been lost for days on some miserable, desolate rock in a nowhere solar system. he found you in sickbay, on a bed, weak and dirty and bleeding from a wound on your arm but alive and jean-luc remembered how to breathe again. the forehead kiss he gave you, after brushing back your dirty, messy hair, said much more than he could ever voice - especially in front of the nurse who witnessed it.

and that’s really the basis for jean-luc’s forehead kisses: he’s not great with the lovey dovey stuff, even with all the novels and poetry he reads. but actions have always spoken louder than words for him.

[lizmitches]

smoke and sirens on display - post 2x15; barbara/melissa

“Hey,” Melissa pops her head into the classroom, her presence a sudden spark. “Ava said you’re headed home. You got someone to cover? Okay to drive?” The question is asked with a mirthful grin, her cheeks pink from the cold and eyes still full of childlike wonder.

Barbara can’t help but dissect the joy Melissa exudes; not out of jealousy, per se, but a gentle curiosity. As if the idea of a simple kind of happiness—a contentment so fierce you never feel the need to search for more—is so unimaginable it needs to be studied.

“Gwen’s going to take over when the kids get back from lunch,” Barbara replies, busying herself with collecting supplies for the substitute. “And yes, I’ll be able to manage a motor vehicle without further incident, if you can believe it.”

“Just don’t pull over to light any candles,” Melissa interjects, making her way into the room and closing the door purposefully behind her. At Barbara's warning glare she adds, “What? Too soon?”

Barbara cautions a glance to the hallway as Melissa steps toward her with intention. She stands up straight, her practiced posture a little loose, exhaustion creeping in at the edges. “What are you doing?”

“Just—“ Melissa opens her arms toward her by way of explanation. "C’mere. Let me hold you for a second. The ops are outside filming Jacob pawn off his cookie pucks to passing joggers. We’re in the clear.”

"I can't." Barbara crosses her arms over her chest protectively—a cheap imitation of Melissa's embrace—just as she’d done earlier. As with many things lately, she has to suffocate the urge; starve the flame until it dies out. But Melissa is a solar flare, bright and dangerous, and Barbara fears she might ignite by proxy.

“You’re not gonna get struck by lightning, Barb. Come on, just for a second. You’ve been holding it together all day.” Melissa bites the inside of her cheek. “Worried you're gonna fall apart."

"I'll only fall apart if you touch me." She holds her palm out to Melissa’s chest, delivers a minuscule shove that forces her back by a few inches. "So don’t."

Melissa—beautiful, tender Melissa, who believes in Barbara’s goodness even when her interal ugliness, her sinfulness, bubbles to the surface—shoots her a wounded look filled with so much understanding that Barbara wishes the ground would open up and swallow her whole. It’s only after she looks away that she realizes there was pity in Melissa’s eyes, too, and she wonders when every facet of her life had been reduced to kindling.

“Look, I just wanna say that, um,” Melissa hesitates, unable to find the right words. It used to be so much easier for the two of them; words rolling off their tongues so fast they could barely keep up, a frenzied undercurrent of excitement living beneath each one of their conversations. An alluring, indescribable newness. Now, Melissa hems and haws, puts her hands on her hips. It’s stilted and unfamiliar. “I know I’ve been distracted with Gary lately,” she says finally.

Barbara can’t help but roll her eyes. “For goodness’ sake, Melissa, you’re not distracted. You’re in love. With a…“ Now it’s her turn to search for words. “With a nice man who treats you how you deserve to be treated. He’s your partner.”

“Yeah, and you’re my friend.”

The word hangs between them the same way it always has. Because friend so easily gives way to family. Family becomes forever. And yet every second they stand here it becomes clear that the current iteration of their relationship is anything but permanent.

“I should have seen that something was wrong. I should have been there for you.” Melissa reaches out despite the cold shoulder, lets her hand fall on Barbara’s bicep like it had earlier. “Honey, I really am sorry.”

Barbara shakes her head. “You don’t need to carry that. I’m a big girl. I make my own decisions and start my own fires, apparently.” She picks up her work bag from underneath her desk, hoists it over her shoulder. “Gerald and I are meeting for lunch and then I’m going home to take a nap.”

“You take naps now?”

Barbara can’t help but smile, close her eyes against the question. She remembers the lazy summer afternoons toward the beginning. The giddiness and guilt giving way to heavy eyes, the way she’d push herself out of bed despite Melissa’s protestations. It was as much a punishment as anything, but it had also become something akin to tradition. A denial that gave way to drowsy truths, hushed confessions, an intimacy existing only in the inbetween.

“No,” she says, and Melissa beams. The kind of smile Barbara’s used to, hasn’t seen in nearly a year; a knowing, warm thing reserved only for her. An expression full of mutual understanding, shared history, affection. It’s like aloe. “But maybe today I’ll start.”

Melissa shoves her hands in her pockets. “I miss you.”

There’s a split second where Barbara considers ignoring it. Considers making up an excuse to walk out, to avoid the delicate balance they’ve struck since the cameras got here; since Gary came into the picture. It would all be so much easier, she thinks, to walk away without saying anything. But she knows it would continue to ferment, to bubble underneath the surface until it all broke down much more painfully. Much more publicly, heaven forbid. And after a day of being seen—by Janet and the kids and the cameras—Barbara seeks a kind of closure that can’t be replayed.

“I can’t—things are too complicated,” Barbara says, and judging by the way Melissa shifts from one foot to the other, the wince that flashes across her features, it seems she knows what’s coming next. “I know it was never simple, but it was our simple, and now—“

“Now you have a sick husband and I have a guy dumb enough to love me.” Melissa taps her heel on the floor. “Sheesh, getting broken up with doesn’t get any easier once you hit 60, does it?” She shakes out her arms like it’ll make the blow sting less. “Can’t say I didn’t see it coming.”

“We’re not—Melissa. There’s nothing to break up, we were never—“

“Hey, give me this, alright?” Melissa pleads. “Look, I really don’t want to take up more space than you have room for. You’re spread thin, you’re stressed, you need to be there for Gerald. You also need to take care of yourself.”

After a day of relying on false facts, Barbara is caught off guard by hearing real ones. Melissa grabs her hand, their fingers tangling together with a sense of familiarity, and for the first time in months she doesn’t attempt to pull away.

“Things have changed. I know we’ve both been feelin’ it,” Melissa says, thumb running across Barbara’s knuckles. “So let me be the collateral damage.”

Barbara’s not sure how to respond to Melissa’s sacrifice. Has to fight with the fact that Melissa has always been the braver one, more likely to run into a burning building without looking back. But it’s her sureness accompanied by the soft look in her eyes that makes their newfound distance, their undetermined future, less terrifying. They’ll be alright, the two of them. They’ll survive.

Barbara squares her shoulders, smiles, replies the same way she would to a stranger holding the door open, a random woman complimenting her shoes. “I appreciate that.”

A clean, amicable break. She drops Melissa’s hand.

“Just want you to be happy,” Melissa murmurs. “You and the hubby—your golden years with no fire engine red-haired miscreants to worry about—that’ll do it, right?”

“I—yes. We’ll be happy.” She wants to add, I’ll always worry about you, but she extinguishes the thought.

“Good.”

“I miss you, too,” Barbara breathes, and it’s simultaneously an olive branch and a goodbye; fuse lit and seconds left until the house they’ve built is set aflame.

Her phone dings in her purse. Gerald texting to say he’s arrived at the restaurant, has ordered her favorite. He’s waiting for her, solid and breathing and alive. She can’t see through the smoke.

She loves him.

“Mel?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll take that hug now.”

Melissa’s smile is no longer bright. Her eyes don’t sparkle. She reaches out to pull Barbara in. “You got it.”

It’s different this time than all the others. Years of embraces that set off chain reactions, fireworks, explosions that engulfed them both, and now they stand in each others’ arms—pressed against each other tightly and holding, holding, holding—and there’s nothing left to say. The clock ticks. Sneakers squeak against linoleum. Birds chirp in the early spring air.

She loves her.

It’s only when Barbara extracts herself from Melissa’s arms, steps back into their new shared existence, that she realizes they’re both covered in ash.