#it's just me i'm afraid and i'm sorry for that inevitable disappointment

[skygemspeaks]

fic concept where xie lian, early into his second banishment, finds out that if he goes to offers prayers at one of mu qing or feng xin's temples, they will always inevitably show up to see him, each time in a different form and pretending not to know who he is

they think they're being SO slick, but xie lian always manages to clock them immediately, because they're not very good actors and because he knows them better than he knows himself. he doesn't say anything though because he's afraid to scare them off. they'll usually hang around to talk to him for a few hours, and it's just. it's nice. to not be alone for a little while. to know that they still care, even a little bit.

(he knows they don't care about him, not anymore, not after all he's done. he knows that their need to keep tabs on him is probably due to a lingering sense of loyalty to the crown prince they had once loved so dearly, the crown prince who had died long ago. he tries not to think about that)

after he ascends for the third time, he wonders if either of them will come talk to him, as themselves for once. they don't. he tries not to be too disappointed by it.

then, he's tasked to take care of the ghost groom on mount yujun, and then nan feng and fu yao show up as volunteers to aid him in his quest, and xie lian doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. he wonders if it's just going to be like this from now on. he decides not to say anything though because even this is better than nothing.

then they come with him to banyue pass, and when they return to puqi shrine afterwards, he invites them to stay for dinner.

they both decline, ready to make their escape, and xie lian can't help it. he starts crying.

they both immediately freeze in their tracks, horrified, before immediately rushing to him and starting to fuss over him, asking if he's okay, if he's gotten hurt.

(it's at this point that hua cheng decides to make a discreet exit for them to have this conversation in private)

"i-i'm sorry!" xie lian sobs, tripping over his words as he desperately wipe at his tears. "i just-i just thought it would be different after i ascended again!"

fu yao and nan feng are both baffled. "you thought what would be different?" asks fu yao hesitantly.

xie lian flails his arms between the three of them. "THIS!" he wails out loud. "but now you're LEAVING again and-and-and you won't even show me your real faces so i can apologize to you properly for everything i did wrong!"

nan feng and fu yao feng xin and mu qing turn to stare at each other in mounting horror as those words sink in.

"Your highness, you knew this whole time???" demands feng xin, his face beet red from embarrassment.

"why didn't you say anything?" mu qing hisses through his teeth, turning his head in an attempt to hide his mortification.

"because i thought if i did, you wouldn't come back!" xie lian replies, still sobbing

feng xin and mu qing both lock gazes, having a wordless argument as they try and figure what to do now that their covers have been blown.

in the end, feng xin is the one that gives in first, taking a deep breath as he gathers up his courage and lets his disguise drop. he steps forward, and pulls xie lian into a rough embrace.

"your highness, you have nothing to apologize for," he says. "we're the ones that did you wrong."

xie lian is still sobbing, but he's clinging onto feng xin like his life depends on it, and he's shaking his head in denial.

"you both stayed by my side longer than i deserved!" he insists. "if i had just listened to mu qing and swallowed my pride, things wouldn't have gotten as bad as they did!"

now mu qing steps up, and though his face is still flushed red, he looks determined as he joins the embrace.

"regardless of who was right or wrong, that didn't give me the right to treat you the way i did that day, your highness....i'm...s-sorry."

xie lian shakes his head again, ready to argue, but mu qing stubbornly speaks over him.

"the reason we came to you in disguise was because we were too ashamed to show our faces to you. we hope your highness will forgive us."

xie lian insists that there's nothing to forgive, and in the end, feng xin and mu qing both end up staying for dinner anyways, though they're saved from having to eat any of xie lian's cooking when hua cheng returns from his impromptu walk with some food that had been given to him by the neighbours for helping them with some tasks while he was out.

[binniesbooks]

hi my fayebae~ since u said u loved the car clip of soobin, here’s one for u to write ur heart away!! (U can of course choose whether u wanna do it or not no pressure!! Im just sending since its at the top of my mind rn, ahh n im sorry for so many request i usually dont send anyt in but🥹i didnt think it would be this fun to see my request coming to life uk but i digress)

idk whether u would like this but:

bf!soobin x gf!brat!reader

they got into an argument and stuff but soobin who still loves his gf comes n picks her up after (cheerleading?prac of some sorts)

Otw home… reader gives the cold shoulder to soob, not talking thru out the entire journey? So soob decides to take a detour n drives to somewhere that doesnt have many ppl looking in the night.

They start talking n tried to resolve whatever their fighting abt, one thing led to another, well reader is giving him a bj!!(the rest of the smut is up to u!!)

inspired by that soob clip of course~ have fun love💗

REVVED UP EMOTIONS

SB 000 .F23 2024

wc 3.7k

pairings bf!Soobin x bratgf!reader

warnings oral sex, semi-public, unprotected sex, slight brat taming, being almost caught, pet names (+ anything that I missed)

faye's note this clip was on my mind 24/7. And after receiving it I got excited making this one out but I'm not sure if it turned out good because my mind was kinda occupied with thesis shit. Omfg. Anyways, I hope it isn't dry tho 😔

Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, be it familial, platonic, or romantic. Arguments can arise from misunderstandings, unmet expectations, or simply the simple things from daily life. Recently, you found yourself in a heated disagreement with Soobin, your boyfriend.

The sun hung low one afternoon, casting golden lights through the window. You were sprawled on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone. Soobin on the other hand, who had just come home from a busy day at university, was busy, again, in the kitchen, occasional noises of clicks and clangs of utensils on pots and pans plus the opening and closing of the faucet can be heard.

You overheard him murmur "Yeah, dinner for two," as he clicked his tongue. You felt a strange pang of irritation swell within you. It wasn't about him or the meal he was preparing, it was you. You actually promised him you would help out, maybe even cook together, but here you were, scrolling on your phone.

You stood up as you trudged to the kitchen, arms crossed as you leaned on the sink. "You didn't have to do all this," you stood feigning nonchalance as you bit your cheek to not show the guilt you were feeling. "You could have asked me for help."

"Oh?" He looked at you with disappointment, "I thought you were busy checking social media," his blunt reply and harsh tone made your ears hot out of irritation. "I didn't want to interrupt your 'important' scrolling."

The sarcasm was too emphasized and it stung more than you expected. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Your eyebrows furrowed as you met with his gaze. "Nothing! I just thought maybe you'd care enough to have some initiative or something. We both agreed to share the chores. I was tired the whole day only to come back home without even eating a single thing." His voice raised with frustration as he threw down the spatula.

"I was going to help!" Your voice was quite high as you tried to cover how you abandoned your promise. "Oh yeah? I was out all day to finish my projects. And there you were scrolling through your phone." He said as he crumpled the apron he was wearing and threw it also on the table.

"You know what, Soobin? Maybe I don't always want to help! Maybe I want a day off too!" You felt the tension suffocating the air around you. Your heart raced but you're too afraid you're wrong.

"That's fucking selfish!" His voice rose, echoing in the confines of the kitchen. "You can't just say you want a break when we agreed to support each other!" He even added. "Fine! I guess we don't need any support then!" You turned on your heel as if fleeing away would help erase the hurtful things that had been said.

"Hey, y/n! Where are you going!" He called but you did not even take a glance. He called you multiple times but his voice just faded out as you were stomping your way to the bedroom.

That night, you didn't come out for dinner. Your mind was in a whirlwind of regret and stubborn pride. Soobin had a point, you were just lazing around that time, however, you don't want to accept that it was your fault. That same night, he didn't come into the room. Your shared bed feels so empty, but you can't just bring yourself to ask for an apology.

Later that morning, you tiptoed your way out. Still too early that your boyfriend was still sleeping, uncomfortably by the way, on the couch. You just grabbed bread and water and went out.

You two always ride his car to go to school. But this time you were determined not to ask for a simple apology and went out by yourself instead. And yes, you were planning to walk to school for your practice. However, some guy passed by and let you ride their car. Since you know the one who offered you a ride, you accepted the offer. It was Kai anyway, aside from being in Soobin's circle of friends, he was part of your cheerleading team.

"Why are you walking so early in the morning? Where's Soobin?" He asked out of curiosity.

"I don't know, maybe somewhere." You answered as you rolled your eyes, still being stubborn. "Are you two fighting?" Kai chuckled as he watched your actions while the traffic light was still red.

"We broke up." You nonchalantly remarked. Well, that was supposed to be a joke, and you never thought that Kai would actually believe those words.

"Woah shit! You what?" He was really startled at what you said as he covered his mouth while keeping the other on the wheel. You just laughed at him as you took the last bite of the bread.

Your whole Saturday went on like the usual cheerleading practice days. But since your mind is still in a whirlwind of pride, you couldn't focus. Causing you to crash multiple times while practicing. You were even scolded by your coach and instructors telling you that you looked like your mind flying or some sort. You just rolled your eyes at them whenever they turn their backs to you.

For that reason, you got hurt, earning yourself a few scratches here and there. You didn't even bother at all. Kai on the other hand, took the chance to treat your scratches. You're still not aware that he actually took your words this morning to heart and mind.

"It's just a scratch, Kai. No need to create a big fuss." You chuckled as he handed you a few bandages.

"Still, scratches can cause infection." He defended himself.

"Fine fine, you win." You sighed in defeat.

You two shared each other's company during lunch that day. You could even tell that many eyes are watching you -- no, most probably judging you at this point. Nonetheless, you just shrugged it off and enjoyed Kai's company instead. Not knowing that this could fuel some bigger fire. Fire that Kai holds, and fire that your boyfriend holds.

Since Soobin was not on the campus that day, he just stayed at home. He can't even contact you since you purposely left your phone. He was just cleaning all day. Just decluttering everything at home. He knows you're practicing today anyway. The only difference is that he usually accompanies you to school and waits for you until practice is done and brings you home, but now, he's just at home busying himself with the chores. He just planned to fetch you later this afternoon and treat you to some restaurant to make it up to you since he feels sorry about raising his voice at you.

"Let's wrap up here today." Your coach shouts as he reminds the assigned cleaners to clean the gymnasium before going home.

"Ugh! Cleaning this whole gymnasium sucks!" You complained, picking up the materials your team has used.

"Anyway, why are you still here? You're not on the list to clean today, right?" You were pertaining to the young boy tailing you. He smiled as he scratched the back of his head, "I want to offer you a ride home." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Don't you have like, any other things to do?" You asked, counting the pompoms before storing them in the box.

"Don't have any." Kai shook his hand as he took the box from your hand and headed to the facility room.

As soon as you and the other were done cleaning, you immediately headed out, Kai insisted on carrying your cheerleading bag. Once again, eyes were gawking at the two of you. You can hear a few of them mumbling but you still ignored it.

Kai opened his car door to let you in. But before you could even step foot inside, someone spoke which made you stop in your tracks. "Where are you headed to?" You turn around to see Soobin as he brings his window down.

"O-oh Soobin hyung." Soobin nods at the younger boy to notice his existence, his elbow hanging at the open window.

You quickly retreat as you grab your bag from Kai. "I-i thought..." Kai stammered as he looked at you. "I was just messing with you Kai, it's not real." You sighed. "What did she say?" Soobin interrupted as he turned to you. You're just a millisecond late to cover Kai's mouth as the words slip out. "She said that you two broke up." Soobin snapped his head towards the younger, a smirk forming on his lips. "Did she?" Kai just nods, still clueless. "Get in," Soobin commanded over you. "I'll take her home, be safe, Kai," Soobin says as he closes the window, whistling.

The whole drive is deafening in silence. You can't hear anything except the faint music playing on the car radio.

"Wow, did we actually break up?" Soobin states with unbelief as he taps his fingers on the wheels.

You were still saying nothing. "Y/n, seriously, are you still mad at me? You didn't even eat last night." He sighed as he continuously threw you glances. Both of your hands were properly curled up in a ball above your thighs clutching your short skirt as you stared outside the window. Looking at whatever unpleasant view outside that seems interesting to you.

The once bright clouds turned darker. "Is it gonna rain? I thought I checked the weather news before I went out." Soobin whispers, changing the stations to listen to the news.

The raindrops started to fall on the car window, drizzling softly as it made the glass cold. "Grab my jacket in the backseat." Soobin talks to you again, but you're not even giving him a single glance.

Soobin messages his temple, "I wanted to take you to a restaurant tonight to make it up to you, but it looks like it's pouring really hard. I'm sorry y/n, just please talk to me." He's totally losing his patience at this point as if he's gonna burst again but tried his very best not to go over the top. He regretted raising his voice yesterday so much.

The once-familiar view of the road becomes foreign to your eyes. You turned to Soobin, looking at his unusual demeanor. If he'd been talking so much earlier, his lips were totally shut now. You wanted to speak and ask him where he was bringing you or what was wrong but you stopped yourself. Whatever will be, will be, you thought to yourself.

The rain started pouring harder, and the once busy road you were on looked empty now. Thunder clasps from far away making a rumbling sound. You try to rub your shoulder to create friction to keep your body warm. You're starting to feel cold and Soobin hasn't thrown you a glance nor commented anything at you.

He suddenly pulled up on the roadside, and the light from the lamp post dimly flickered inside the car.

"Not gonna lie, I felt like a dumb ass talking to a wall earlier." His eyes met yours for a while before you averted your gaze. He grabs his jacket and hands it to you, "Wear this, you must be cold. I just realized, your skirt is too short, and your tank top is too thin, at that." He eyes you up and down as you wear his jacket.

"This is fucking crazy." He mumbled as he pulled his hair.

"Y/n, baby, look, I'm really sorry for raising my voice at you, hm? I was just really tired last night." He gently placed his hand above yours on your thighs.

Your eyes were following a few cars passing by as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. You felt Soobin hold your face gently. "Baby, please look at me. I'm not used to this. You know me." Soobin's eyes were practically begging. He couldn't stand you giving him the cold shoulder.

The truth is you were just afraid. You're afraid to admit you had acted selfishly. Afraid of facing him after a petty argument over something so trivial.

"I just want you to talk to me," he caresses your cheeks, words so gentle and comforting, "I can't fix this if you won't talk to me."

Soobin pulls you in for a hug, warming up your heart. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, surrendering to him and putting down your stubborn pride. You mumbled a soft sorry as he gently rubbed your back. You let your arms move freely, as you return the hug to Soobin.

"Please don't do this again to me." He kissed your forehead. "I'm sorry for raising my voice, baby. I'm sorry for making you feel upset at me." Soobin's probably the sweetest guy you could ever ask for. He can make you feel loved and appreciated, but of course, you're just stubborn and bratty at times, which makes him wanna lose his temper.

Soobin pulls away, showering your face with a hundreds of kisses. You can't help but giggle at his actions."I didn't mean to shut you out." You mumbled with a pout. "You don't look sincere." Soobin commented which made you pout more. He chuckled as he pulled you in for a kiss.

The kiss felt soft and gentle. That's why you had no idea, why he was shoving his tongue inside your mouth. He bit your lip with a little harshness making you push him away. "Oww! What was that!" You complained. Soobin simply smirked at you. "I'm asking for an apology and forgiving you for one, but not the other issue." His smirk turns to a frown. "Soobin I can explain that..." Your heart began to race, thumping so hard you could feel it in your throat.

"Why don't we use that pretty little mouth of yours on something else good, yeah? Instead of giving people an opening to pounce on you." His eyes scream anger and lust at the same time.

"What do you mean?" You asked clueless. "What do I mean? You really want to hear the exact words?" Soobin taunted. "I don't get what you are saying." You shook your head. "I'm telling you that you just made an opening to let Kai pounce on you. Are you that dense, that you don't even know he likes you?" You were shocked at what Soobin just revealed to you. You opened your mouth to answer only for him to cut you off.

"Or don't tell me you wanted it all along?" He scoffs. "Soobin don't talk like that --" "Don't talk like what, doll? Aren't you the one who told him we're over?"

That's it, those words pushed you over the edge, switching your bratty side once more. "Okay, so what? What if I wanted it all along?" Your voice raised once more. "Kai is a good guy, plus he knows how to take care of someone he likes." You pushed Soobin's chest away from you. Soobin scoffed again, brushing his tongue inside his cheek.

"And I can tell --"

"Backseat. Or else --"

"Or else what? Huh? Are you gonna order me around again? Raise your voice over me again?" You taunt.

"I said backseat, you brat." He fixed his gaze on you and held your wrist.

His words are firm and strong which makes the hair on your neck stand up. He unbuckled his seatbelt and shifted the gear to park, leaving the car idle and the headlights on. You have no choice. You crawled your way to the backseat. you squeezed yourself to fit and pass by the center console. Soobin followed quickly, making his way through the front and back doors. As soon as he settled in the backseat, he ruffled his hair to whisk away some water from the rain.

Your eyes waver as you avert your gaze from him. His hand squeezed both your cheeks, "My patience is running low from your actions, doll. You're making it worse."

Soobin pulled you on his lap. You were almost covering him with how big his jacket you were wearing. His surname is written in big fonts.

He hiked up your skirt only to find out you had nothing underneath other than thin panties. Soobin scoffs, "Don't tell me you were gonna ride Kai's car with just this?" You bit your lip as you placed your hands on his shoulder when he started to rub you with your panties still on.

Soobin clearly knows how to make your knees weak. With just a simple touch and you're back to square one from being a brat. He pulled your panties off slowly without breaking the eye contact. His brows are still furrowed and you can still feel his anger.

"Let's see if you'd still want to ride his car after getting out of mine." He clicked his tongue and licked his finger, pushing two at the same time. Your mouth hung open as you squirm. "S-soob..." You can't talk straight, no, you don't wanna talk actually, but he has his ways to make you open your mouth. "How is it? Still wanna ride his car?" A sly smirk tugging on his lips. In which you replied with just a shake of your head.

"I'm close..." You whispered, biting your lips, watching how his fingers disappears and appears in your cunt. You shudder with the sensation, your high coming to you. But Soobin pulled his fingers out. You whined, hiding your face on his neck as you grind yourself above him.

Soobin's too focused on making you say the word sorry for the said issue. He did not even expect you'll act bratty once again after just apologizing for what happened yesterday.

He gripped your waist. "Stop moving or you'll not gonna cum for 1 week." Hearing this, you whine once more. You can't stand that punishment at least. But instead of getting the words out of your mouth, Soobin wasn't prepared for your action of apology.

You unzip his pants and slowly stroke him. Your face is still hidden in the crook of his neck. Planting soft kisses on his shoulder blade to his neck.

"Doll." His voice is warning yet you didn't budge, with only a small "please let me" coming out of your mouth.

His hand rubbed your back up and down, slipping them inside your top. Your skin is burning to his palm.

"What's with you, huh?" He asked, but he clearly knows you'd rather act like his little slut than let the five-letter word out of your pretty mouth.

You pulled back, squeezing your body once again on the small space between his legs. "Fuck-- just stop giving him signs -- ohh shit!" Soobin clearly shows his frustration at how he grips on the door. You gave him a few kitten licks and swirled your tongue on the tip of his cock making him jolt.

He looks down at you, meeting your eyes, "Fuck, is the word too much for you to say?" You took him whole the moment he spit those words making him thrust up a bit and lean back his head on the headrest.

"Ahh!" His breathy moans filled the car, making the glass foggy despite the rain and cold atmosphere outside. His hands tangled in your hair as you bobbed your head slowly.

You whimpered at how his cock pulsated on your tongue and how his tip kissed your throat. He gently caresses your cheeks as he holds them. You automatically leaned on his hand as you let him fuck your mouth.

His eyes were tightly closed. Lower lip trapped between his teeth. One hand on your cheek to hold you and the other firmly gripping the door to keep himself grounded.

"Baby fuck!" With one last thrust, he's cumming in your mouth. Draining himself on your wet and hot lips.

His heavy pants were the only thing that could be heard inside the car. Not until you hear a knock on the window. You quickly scrambled up your way to the seat as you sat properly, Soobin shoving his shirt down to cover his exposed length.

He opened the window slowly. "Is everything fine? You're hazard is switched on." A police officer said with an umbrella in hand, roaming his eyes inside the car. He even added that he was just passing by and noticed the car had switched on the hazard.

"I'm sure I didn't put the car on hazard though., must be when I got out.." Soobin mumbles, "But everything is fine, we just need to talk something out."

"Take care then, it's pouring hard." The officer apologized before going back to his car.

You looked at Soobin, fear evident on your face. You were doing things in a semi-public place but here you are, totally scared of getting caught. Soobin chuckled at you.

"Can you turn off the hazard light?" He appealed. You propped yourself on top of the center console to reach for the hazard button. But seems like some other button is getting pressed instead, as your hands retreat back to cover your mouth.

Soobin's tongue is licking your exposed cunt. Eating you out while you're still on the center console.

"S-soob, wait.." you tried your best to appeal to him but he did not budge. He continued shoving his tongue inside you. He then gently pulled you back to his lap, slowly sinking you down on his cock.

One of his hands lightly squeezes your neck, the other one pulling one of your hands back. He stopped you from covering your mouth as he continuously thrusts upward.

"Tight.. so tight..." He mumbles at your nape. "Pussy so good for me."

"M-more please." You quietly pleaded as you tried moving your hips. "Someone's eager to be filled." He commented back. "W-wanna be full of you, Soobin." You're feeling lightheaded at how he's squeezing your neck. He can't help but leave hickeys on your shoulder as he thrusts harder.

"I'm gonna get you pregnant at this point," he huffed. "D-don't care, w-want you," your words are slurred as you lean back on his chest.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" No other words just curses, was coming out of his mouth as he felt his cum being released.

You were totally breathless, your body slumped on him, his cock still twitching and pulsating inside your cunt. Soobin is totally worn out, dipping his head down on your shoulder.

"Let's stay like this for five minutes then we'll go home." He mumbled.

@binniesbooks 2024

[spencerified]

Hiii, well, English is not my first language, sorry for that. I'm not a writer, but a big reader, so welcome to the community ^^

I was thinking about a reader who works in BAU, gets kidnapped, and for some reason the su-des was filming, and the reader is forced to confess that she like Spencer, (The whole team saw it).

As if the su-des were playing a game like truth or dare, and ended up reluctantly confessing that, the reader having a lot of confidence. If you read this and do it I would be very grateful, ily^^♡

(Can be fem!reader or g!reader, it doesn't matter, I repeat, if you read it and do it I will thank you for the rest of my life)

hiii!!! first of all thank you so much for trusting me with your request 🫶 this came out a little (a lot) longer than I thought it would but i hope it's still what you expected and that you enjoy it!! any other requests are very welcome ♡ lots of hugs for everyone

✿

"Stop."

You're relieved that your weak attempt, your last resort at trying to get the Unsub to show you mercy, makes him stop in his tracks. You still feel the ghost of the edge of a knife itching against your skin, when it was unclear if he really wanted to hurt you or if it was just an attempt at getting you to break. To get you to spill your most deepest, darkest secrets, the ones hidden within the depths of your heart. 

Hidden even from Spencer, who looks at you from (presumably) miles away, through a sketchy live transmission sent to Garcia. Untraceable, of course. He desperately wishes he could just snap his fingers and make it all go away. Every tear, every ache, every whisper of pain. Wants to build a world where you won’t know suffering ever again.

Hotch's voice when he first trained you for what Penelope called 'The Non-Fun Parts of The Job' resonates in your hazy mind. Be aware your surroundings, he said, and you wonder if he might be disappointed on the other side of the camera haphazardly propped up a few feet in front of you, it's red light mocking you with each blink.

"Why are you doing this?" You say, emitting now only a pitiful vestige of your voice which is usually never afraid to speak on anything. It seems amusing to him because seconds later, a cheshire grin blossoms in his face, causing the hair on the back of your neck to stand. 

"Oh, you have no idea who I am, do you?" He says. You've never thought a person could inflict so much fear with only a look and a few words. "I don't remember you either, so no hard feelings. But the BAU has... humiliated me. Took everything I love away from me. My family, my job, my friends..." His voice grows low to the point that if you weren't so on edge, you would have to strain your ears to hear him. "They may think getting away for years feels like a reward to me, but they don't live what I live. 

Watching the TV waiting for the next time the BAU finally remembers me over the rest of the cases they have to push away to the… dusty corners of their file room because of their incompetency and decides to spread my picture all over the news once again... it's no way to live." 

The man's voice is so calm you constantly wait for the other shoe to drop. Like when you're so scared on a rollercoaster and your only option is to close your eyes and wait for the inevitable drop. It doesn't come. It seems like years of inflicting pain on others, and then years of hiding away from the consequences are an upstanding process on how to numb a person.

Spencer sees it too. He sees that this Unsub just won't lose control, and that scares him. Because someone this put together – in a rather bizarre way, wouldn't even bat an eye were he to decide on hurting you. And Spencer would have to watch it all, powerless, scribbling over and over again over his wide map spread out on the conference room's table. 

"I'm sorry..." You lie through your teeth. "That you have to live that way."

Fake empathy towards him, Hotch echoes on your head again. You must be reliving his instructions in your head as a way to keep your cool. You bite your lip so hard you fear it might bleed when you realize you're doing it. He's delusional, you reason. He thinks the BAU wanting to catch him for murdering at least 7 couples in public parks is somehow a way to wrong him. 

"Well, thank you," he says, a bitter tone bleeding into his words. "But it's not enough. Luckily for you, you know just what to do that will be." 

"I don't have any secrets," you confess. Outside of the BAU, you don't have a very interesting life. Go home, say hi to the neighbors in your building, sometimes smile at someone while shopping groceries. No burning, forbidden love affair – mostly because the only candidate you want is endearingly oblivious –, no superhero side quests that would make for an interesting conversation at lunch break with your coworkers. No skeletons in your closet, no secret vices or scandalous secrets that would obliterate your pristine reputation amongst your coworkers. Not even one involving the most important one of them. Of course not. 

"I'm sure you do. Everyone does," he circles your chair. You want to sob when you lose sight of him and feel his presence looming on the back of the chair. Not knowing when your life could potentially be taken away from you is jarring. 

"I don't," you say. You don't need to use the word 'please' for him to know that you're begging for your life. "I really don't." 

Pull yourself together, you think. This is not how a BAU agent must react when faced with a threat. But then again, you've only been here for less than a year, and maybe you just don't have it in you to keep your cool the way the rest of your team would. You take a harsh deep breath. 

Spencer has a rather uncanny ability to tune the world out. When he's engrossed in his job, his books, his facts, it's easy to lose himself on them. Specially when the only person who usually listens to him when he externalizes them is away. 

Not away, he thinks. That makes it seem like you're taking a vacation. A small voice in the back of his head wonders where would you go if you were given the chance to. Then, he remembers he might never find out if he doesn't figure this out soon. The case has the team's complete and utter attention, and he knows these are some of the best minds in the Bureau. But he still feels like it's his responsibility to figure it out; he can't help but think that it's what it's expected of him. He wonders if that expectation stems from being a prodigy, or because he's so close to you that it only makes sense it would be him. 

He feels a rush flowing through his veins when he feels like he's close to figuring it out. Then, he's harshly brought back to the reality where he hogs the conference room's table with his map and the team scatters over the rest of the room, working on who-knows-what, by a series of worrying hurried breaths of yours. 

"Okay, okay!" You say, when he roughly yanks you by the hair to keep you still. The knife you thought was previously discarded hovers over your ear. 

"One clean slash, and you'll be out like a light."

You don't find it in yourself to want to test the veracity of that theory out. 

So you realize your only shot at getting out of here might be giving him what he wants. You can't stall anymore, and one side of your brain tells you that it's your team, they'll get here in time, and the other asks itself if that might be a thing that just happens in unrealistic crime shows. 

"I..." You start. You wonder if Spencer is watching this. You would rather have every agent in the FBI hear this, all 35,000 of them, instead of him. You whimper when the knife inches closer to your skin. You can't die. Not here. Is keeping your perception of dignity worth losing your life? "I like my coworker." 

It doesn't satisfy the Unsub. "Which one?" 

You want to refuse to answer, to curl into a ball and cry until you recover the false sense of confidence you walk around with that has now been shattered. You'll get it back, eventually. Not if you die. So you toughen it up, and breathe deep. "Spencer." 

It sounds so stupid. A mere speck in the grand scheme of things, of problems and situations anyone would expect an FBI agent to have. But it's the hardest thing you've ever had to say.

And it's the hardest thing he's ever had to hear. If it were in any other situation, he wouldn't have put it past him to jump in glee. You, with your head always held high, never one to shy away from showing who you were to the world, with your gentle soul that lured him in even when he tried to keep his heart safe from rejection... You liked him. But that's not his focus right now. Even if every single train of thought in his brain has come to a catastrophic halt, he has to focus, because he can't take one more second of seeing you trying to keep calm with a knife to your throat. 

A picture of Hannah Davis, one of the victims from the original case, hung up on the wall behind you ends up giving the Unsub's whole act away. Still, it doesn't make a lot of sense for Hannah to have hung up a picture of herself in her own house, so the team splits to cover both the boyfriend's house and Hannah's. 

It's just a precautionary measure. Spencer knows exactly where you are.

"Oh, Dr. Reid. Idiots interrogated me about once or twice as a witness and he was a real boom with the ladies at the precinct back then. Let me tell you, if I had his charm, I wouldn't have had to resort to killing couples to get off." 

The Unsub lets go of your hair with no warning and your head hangs down as if you were a rag doll. You find it in yourself to hum uninterestedly at his sick attempt of joking. 

You don't think you've ever felt your heart beating as hard as it is right now. And when you tune out the sound of the man talking and rambling about God knows what, you realize that the thumping you hear in your ears isn't your heart. That maybe the creaking on the stairs isn't a product of your delirious mind conjuring up a sequence where you magically get saved from the bad guy.

You sigh when the man behind you yanks you back again. This time, you feel the need to put on a facade. Make it look like you’ve come to terms with it; if this is how you go, then so be it. The knife on your throat makes your heart rate pick back up, but you don't whimper. You wonder if you're trying to keep it together for yourself or because you are ashamed of the image your team will have of you after this if you don't.  

You hear Morgan kick the door down. Usually, you're on the other side of this. You help talk an Unsub down, and then make fun of Morgan after for kicking the door instead of opening it like a civilized FBI agent. Talking them down doesn't always work. Sometimes, you end up with another casualty added to the case. In the worst outcome, you end up with two more. You're not as unafraid as you thought. Please, God, you think. This cannot be the end. 

Morgan screaming at the Unsub to put the knife down falls in deaf ears. It's only white noise to you now, and maybe that stems from the fact that you have been held hostage for what felt like days with no food, no water, no sun, and you feel so close to it being over. Soon, you'll be on a hospital bed, eating food that only the thought of makes you feel nauseated but even that is better than this. Maybe Spencer will sneak you a treat. Or maybe that's wishful thinking. 

As you're dwelling on what the consequences of him potentially hearing your confession might be, you hear a gun go off. You don't even react when the pressure exerted on the right side of your neck, the weight of the arm holding you in place suddenly fades away as your head falls forward. 

You hear the thud of a body hit the ground. Maybe we can still be friends, you try to reason. Spencer drops his smoking gun to a side as Morgan tries to untie your hands behind your back. Maybe he'll reciprocate, or is that too much of a delusion to have even in your incoherent state? Spencer holds you in his arms when you have nothing pushing you back against the chair anymore. 

"I'm sorry," you sob into his shoulder, not an ounce of strength remaining in your body. You were not made for this. Not made for withstanding this kind of torment. If you mean the torment of being kidnapped, or the torment that awaits you once you're not hysterically sobbing in front of the man you're not ready to admit you love, you're not sure. "I'm so sorry." 

"Hey," he says, tenderly. You don't know how much time it's gone by since the last time you saw him. The only thing you know is that this kind of gentleness is now unfamiliar after harsh hands engraved themselves all over you. "Hey, it's okay. What are you sorry for?" 

"I'm sorry," you say, worn out, the words echoing around your head like a DVD screensaver. You then register his question. "For saying that." 

You don't specify what. It's not necessary; it never has been with Spencer. Somehow, you both know exactly what the other means, with just a glance, a brush of an arm when somehow you find yourself trapped in his orbit once again. 

"It's alright," is it? Part of him wonders if being with you might have become even more unattainable now than it was before. If you'll push him away because the memory of the circumstances of your confession is too painful to bear. His hand hovers in the air before he finds a moment where he feels like you won't get up and run away from him if he touches you. You shudder, but ultimately stay right where you are. "Don't cry. You're okay." 

Are we okay? You have to ask. But maybe right now is not the moment. Maybe right now all you want is to be held before everything goes down the drain. You've hit rock bottom, and everyone probably sees it too. Spencer just wishes you find it in your heart to let him be the one to help you out of there. You don't need to yell for help if you have him – the most minuscule mutter of your burdens will be enough to have him snapping into action. He knows what it's like to give every sign that you could ever think of and still have them ignored. He isn't about to let you go through that. 

"We're going to go home now, yeah?" You nod. When you come to it, your fingers ache from holding onto his shirt so hard you want to apologize to him in case you had hurt him. You don't find the words. The rise and fall of his chest had lulled you into the deepest, calmest sleep you have managed to get in a while, even before the kidnapping happened at all, and in this moment, you almost swear that it'll all be okay. 

When you wake up, there's a steady hold in your hand as the ambulance rocks back and forth. 

"God, they need to get that street fixed," you say. You don't recognize your voice, the rasp in your throat being the only thing to confirm that it is indeed you speaking. It takes you a moment to realize that the hand that holds yours firmly is Spencer's. 

You'd be lying if you said you weren't scared to look at him. What would his expression be like? Disgust? Perhaps Morgan made him ride with you until they got to the ambulance. Perhaps he offered to do so because he wanted to do something nice for you before he completely tore your heart to shreds by saying he doesn't like you back. Perhaps-

"We're almost there." The way his voice manages to shut every deprecating thought in your head should be studied. As a reflex, you turn your head to look at him. You wish you hadn't, because the way he looks at you like you're a masterpiece – a rather flawed one, even if he doesn't think so, isn't helping the ache in your chest. Your first thought is that it's awe, but then you think you might want to get that get that checked out when you get to the hospital. 

You barely notice his hand shifting around yours, until it holds your wrist, his thumb pressed softly but firm against your pulse point. He can probably feel the way your heart quickens when he leans in to take a look at your face. 

"Does the light hurt your eyes?" You nod, sluggishly. He turns over to look at the paramedic who sits next to you. You feel a little bit of relief at the fact that no one's hovering over you. It means you're okay. It's all minor. And mostly psychological. Spencer starts listing studies and tests they apparently need to run on you, and while you love the way he rambles, you don't think you can keep up with him without getting a stroke in the process right now.

You doze off again. God, you needed that. You hadn't closed your eyes for more than a couple of seconds during all of your stay in that house. Stay. You don't know what else to call it. 

Emily stayed with you while they checked you out and in her words, it was like you were moving on autopilot. It was unnerving, but the doctors had informed her that there was nothing wrong besides a couple of nasty bruises you would have to spend extra concealer on. 

Spencer offered to stay overnight. One can only imagine how unsettling it was for him to lift his head from his book to see you sitting up like a spring at 2:45 am. 

"Hi," he says, his voice a hushed breath as he sits on the edge of your bed, smiling awkwardly at you. There's no one else in the room, but it's like if any of you speaks louder than a whisper, the bubble you're in will burst. Your chest heaves with hurried breaths, and you rub your eyes.

"Hey." You're already dreading this conversation. Is there any way to go back to before you were kidnapped and forced to confess you're in love with your best friend/coworker? Anyhow, you don't want to stay in the dark anymore and hurry to speak directly to the point. "I don't want things to be weird between us." 

"We haven't even talked for a minute, what do you mean?" 

You let out a short, humorless laugh, which could be easily just interpreted as a hum. You scramble over the clutter that is your mind right now to find a topic that will help you evade the awkwardness. "... Why are you still awake?" 

He didn't expect you to ask that, if the way his gaze drifts to the side is anything to go by. 

"The book was very... interesting, to say the least," he blatantly lies. You don't know if he's a bad liar or if you're just an expert in the Spencer Reid sciences. 

"I'm sure it was." 

You don't speak for a minute. A minute and 33 seconds, he counts, and you're heading strong for a second one when his voice breaks the uncomfortable atmosphere. 

"Listen, I..." 

"I know you heard it." Everyone probably did. And it'll be less humiliating if you act like you don't wish you could just crawl out of your skin and hide. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to die." 

"I'm glad you said it." 

You don't know if he's glad you said it because otherwise you would have probably bled out before they even got to the house or because the fog that used to sit atop of whatever weird tension you both seemed to develop whenever you were the last ones in the conference room, paired to interview a witness, or sharing the big couch on the jet, is finally cleared up. 

You can't lie and say you're not relieved you did, too.

"I'm glad too," you say, mostly to yourself. Where do you go from here? Spencer knows a lot of things, none of which seem useful at the moment. He's almost tempted to bring Morgan in for moral support; otherwise, he's about to perform the worst ridicule he's ever had the pleasure to star in. 

You wait for him to speak. He doesn't, and instead stares at the bedsheets that look like their sole existence is an offense by the way his brow creases. 

"You look like something's bothering you," you say, tentatively testing the waters. Can you already joke with him, or is it too soon to pretend like everything's okay? "Is it not a nice pattern?" 

He smiles for a split second. You didn't realize the air had been lacking from your lungs until this very second. "The pattern is geometrically off. If you look at it closely, you'll see that the diamonds aren't quite aligned properly. It seems minor, yet it's still evident enough to unconsciously make the pattern less appealing to the eyes. I suppose that's what you get with mass-produced and machine-made products nowadays."

You smile warmly at him. Only then it's that your chest tightens as the realization of just how much you missed just hearing him talk about things that would have never even crossed your mind in a thousand years, dawns upon you.

"Sorry. I forgot my magnifying glass at home." 

"I see you didn't left the wit back there." You smile at him. It feels foreign. Just a second ago you were avoiding looking at him like the mere action of doing so would make you burst into flames on the spot. Your smile is like fuel for the burning courage consuming his insides as he opens his mouth again. "I... I think- No, sorry. I mean, I am certain that..." Okay, Spencer. Great way to start. He tries to gather his thoughts, which proves to be a much harder challenge when they're all a jumbled mess. 

"You like your coworker too?" 

"Yeah," he says. His lips curl into a warm, genuine smile that does wonders at speaking of the deep affection that harbors in the depths of his soul. One only reserved for you. He's quick to repress it because he doesn't want to seem stupid. 

You don't let him throw you off your feet. "Dr. Reid, can you wait until I don't feel and look like a bus just ran over me to confess your unconditional and undying love for me?" 

He wouldn't have expected a different answer from you. The confidence you wear on the outside is a mask for the way he makes you melt like a bar of chocolate in warm weather on the inside. You don't need him to answer to that. He touches your hair, and you turn to look at the bag of skittles placed on the bedside table, and you know he'll gladly wait until you don't feel like you've been stripped of all your defenses. Until you feel like yourself again. 

[portraitofalinkonfyre]

Hi, can I put in an emergency request? I've been in a depressive phase for months now, and I recently managed to get a job offer. I'm supposed to be excited about it, but all I feel right now is panic and the urge to cry. Maybe the Chain comforting modern/isekai reader while she's having a panic/anxiety attack?

I'm so sorry, Anon! I know how that feels and I hope this helps <3

Breathe

Pairing: None!

Warning(s): Nope, just fluff and bad baking television!

Masterlist

It was too much, you thought as you stared at the computer screen. There was a certain joy in the email–concerning a job you had recently applied for–encompassing the screen, but you didn't feel it. You leaned back in your chair as the room seemed to tighten, the beat of your heart growing louder and louder in your ringing ears.

"Darlin'?"

You jolted as a voice broke through the fog, nearly giving yourself whiplash from how quickly you turned your neck to look at the man leaning against your doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. "Twi? When did you get here?"

Twilight uncrossed his arms, taking a heavy step forward. "Long enough ta see ya ain't okay," his expression was soft, but you didn't miss the concerned look in his eyes. "What's got ya all spooked?"

"It's nothing," you lied, reaching over to close your laptop. As sweet as he was, you didn't think he would understand this, being from a different world and all. Hell, it had taken him a week to figure out the TV remote, much less the warring complexities in your mind. 

The rancher's brows furrowed, clearly not believing you. For such a bad liar, he was worryingly good at sniffing out untruths, and you were cursing yourself for not saying it was something ordinarily mundane, like you banged your knee on the table or just watched a sad cat video. "It ain't nothin'," he moved forward, towering over you, but there was no threat in the action. "Ya've been actin' off fer the past few weeks, an' I wanna know why."

He... he had noticed? A wave of panic show through you at the thought of anyone knowing. You sputtered, searching for the words that would make everything right again. "I– No?" you winced, realizing how lame you sounded. "It's nothing. Really. Nothing for you to worry about."

Twilight's expression hardened at the last sentence, the muscles in his jaw giving the barest clench. "We both know tha's not true, darl'," you tensed when he moved closer, placing one hand on the armrest of your chair, while the other rested on the back. His tone was something you never wanted to hear: disappointed. "Ya can't lie ta me, an' I ain't gonna stop until ya tell me what's bothering ya."

You bit your lip, eyes falling to the floor in an attempt to avoid his gaze. Looking at him was a no-go, because you knew you would crack the second you did. 

A hand caught your chin, pulling your head to face him with the utmost gentleness.

"(Y/n)," the use of your name caught you off guard, because Twilight hardly used your name. Not unless he was serious, which you knew he was as you stared into his worried blue eyes. "I don't want ta force ya ta talk, but ya gotta tell me what's botherin' ya. Can't help ya if I don't know."

He had a point, a good one, and you hated it. 

"I–... you wouldn't understand," you protested weakly. "It's dumb, Twi."

"Try me," the rancher grunted, and you knew escape was unlikely.

"It's..." your voice trailed off as you tried to formulate a response. How were you to explain to him that a job offer was stressing you out without sounding like a complete idiot? He was obviously a hardworking individual, and you were afraid he would think less of you if you spilled the beans. "I got a job offer."

Twilight blinked, tilting his head with a confused smile. You winced and tried not to imagine the inevitable fallout. "Tha's great news, darl'. Now what's got ya so stressed?"

You couldn't help it, you began to cry. 

There had already been tears in the corners of your eyes, so it took hardly any effort to coax them to spill down your cheeks at an alarming rate. A shocked noise came from the rancher, and you stiffened when he turned the chair around, leaned down, and wrapping his arms tightly around your trembling frame, pulling you to his chest. "Shh, it's al'ight, (Y/n)."

On instinct, you buried your face in his shoulder, hands grasping the fabric of his shirt. His skin was warm against your wet cheek, and you couldn't help but relax slightly as the scent of pine invaded your nose. You had no idea how long you stayed like that, clinging to him like a lifeline, but it felt impossibly short when quick footsteps same down the hall. 

"Hey (Y/n)! Have you seen Tw–"

The footsteps stopped abruptly, and you froze when you realized who it was, practically tearing your face from Twilight's shoulder to rub frantically at the tear tracks. But it was far too late. 

Wild stumbled in, holding a half-eaten sandwich, mouth dotted with crumbs. Upon seeing you, he stiffened, gaze flashing from inquisitive to concerned. "Are you alright?" the Hero of the Wilds asked, tone noticeably softer.

"I'm f–" you tried to respond, hoping to save at least a bit of face, but Twilight had other plans. 

"Naw, they ain't," he interjected, pulling back slightly, though his hands didn't leave your shoulders. You sputtered, upset at the fact that he wouldn't let you deal with this alone, but one glance from the rancher shut you up real quick. Twilight nodded to Wild's sandwich. "Ya got any more a' those?"

Wild had the decency to look sheepish, glancing at you with a saddened expression. "It's the last one, but I can make more.*

Twilight nodded, a look of purpose in his eyes. "Great, we'll be down inna moment."

"Okay," Wild cast one last look at you, took a big bite of his sandwich, and dashed from the room. As soon as he was gone, you mustered the best glare you could in this state, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared the rancher down.

"Really, Twi?"

But Twilight merely smiled, ducking down to haul you, bridal style, into his arms. You cursed when he began to walk out of the room, simultaneously smacking his shoulder while attempting to wipe your tears at the same time. "Hey– put me down!"

"No can do, darlin'," He said, and you hated how comforting it felt to be carried like this. "Yer havin' a day, an' we're gonna fix that."

You couldn't decide whether to be flattered or terrified. "We–?"

"(Y/n)!" A new voice called, and you turned your head just in time to see Wind barreling over, flanked by Warriors and Time. "Wild said you were crying!'

Oh god, not them, too!

You hid your face in Twilight's shirt, wondering what you had done to deserve this humiliation. Unfortunately, the rancher had other ideas. Again. "It's al'ight, guys," he assured the younger hero. "Just a rough mornin', 's all."

Time raised a brow, looking entirely unconvinced. "Then why are you carrying them?"

Twilight shrugged. "Felt like it, 'sides," you felt your face flush at the teasing lit his tone took on. "Can't watch that bad cookin' show from 'er room, can we?"

"Nailed it!? I love that show!" Wild popped into the hallway, holding a plate piled high with sandwiches. And when you said 'high', you meant high, because there was no way in hell anyone could expect you to eat that many sandwiches. The Hero of the Wild's handed the plate to Twilight, who held it easily in one hand, and you wanted to die. "By the way, we're out of–"

"Later," interjected Warriors with an 'are you kidding?' expression, clearing his throat. "I'll get the blankets."

"Oo! I'll get the pillows," Wind added with literal stars in his eyes. "We'll help you feel better, promise!"

Hyrule's head popped out from the guest room. "Help who feel better?"

You groaned into Twilight's chest. You were not going to survive the day.

Contrary to your thoughts, you did indeed survive the day, which had been quite the whirlwind when nine heroes made the executive decision to save you from your thoughts. You hardly had any time to feel bad about yourself with their near-constant attention, which was... well, you would a liar if you said being bundled in blankets and forced to sit on the couch while the best (arguably) baking show played on the television wasn't nice.

Maybe it was Legend, who randomly appeared with a tube of Pringles he had been "saving", which was as sweet as it was concerning, or perhaps it was the combined efforts of Twilight and Sky to make you as comfortable as they could manage. Even Time, who you knew had better things to do, plopped down on the side of you not claimed by Wind, going so far as to sling his arm over the back of the couch in an effort to comfort you.

By the time lunch rolled around, your living room was packed to the bursting. Every surface was either covered by a blanket or someone's ass, and you didn't have the heart to scold any of them for practically turning the space into what you could only describe as a nest. You were just glad your couch was long enough to support one large hero on your right (Time) and two smaller ones on your left (Wind and Four), because, really, you only had so much floor space.

The credits rolled as the latest episode came to a close, the TV already queuing up to play the next one, which you distinctly remembered including a wonderfully hilarious scene in which contestants attempted to recreate cakes in the likeness of Donald Trump. It was a funny show, and the subsequent commentary generated by nine people who had never seen such a thing hilarious, but the near-constant movement on your left was distracting.

"What's the matter?" You asked, already knowing it was Wind.

"Nothing," the sailor responded, bouncing his leg hard enough to vibrate the couch cushions.

"Wind," Warriors interjected from his spot on the floor, laid sideways on the carpet with his cheek propped up on his fist, legs tangled with Hyrule's. The traveler was reading The Princess Bride for... was it the fifth time? You knew because he seemed to have gone back a significant chunk of pages, and you had already informed him that books were read from left to right.

The youngest hero perked up at the sound of his name, sticking his lip out in a pouty fashion. "I'm just antsy."

"Then go somewhere," replied Wild, not unkindly, from his place on your armchair, curled on the seat with his Sheikah slate in his lap. It was the most still you had seen him today, which was as cute as it was unnerving.

"Can't," the sailor shot back. "(Y/n) will miss me."

He was right, but you weren't going to tell him that. "It's still light outside," you said in a faintly-coaxing tone. "I'll get you a frisbee, if you want."

"You can't get up!" Wind interjected with a horrified expression. "You're sad!"

Goodness, he was too cute, sometimes. There was a pang in your heart, but you managed to smile. For him, you thought, I can wait.

"Well," you looked down at the blankets wrapped around you. "We'll have to fix that–"

"No!" Wind cried, actually throwing himself on your lap. You let out a startled gasp as a good portion of air was pushed from your lungs upon impact. "You stay!"

"Wind–"

"Not unless you tell us why you're sad!"

There was silence. You froze mid-syllable as all eyes landed on you. It had been such a good day, and now...

"Don't push it, Wind," Sky said in a cautioning tone. "That's not nice."

But the sailor would not be deterred, wrapping his arms around your waist with a fierceness that would have been adorable in any other situation. You swallowed, feeling slightly claustrophobic when Wind's eyes turned to you, glistening with... were those tears? "Oh–" you stuttered, patting his head. "Don't cry–"

"I'm not crying!" Wind interrupted. "You are!"

You blinked your decidingly dry eyes. "I'm not...?"

"But you're sad!"

You bit your lip, catching Twilight's gaze. The rancher was silent, letting you handle this on your own, but his eyes said everything. Your fingers twitched against Wind's scalp. "Hey, it's okay. What's wrong?"

The gaze he sent you was so disappointed that it was almost funny. Almost. "You were crying, and only people who are sad cry."

You almost wanted to say that tears could be happy, but held your tongue for fear of opening yet another can of worms that you would have no idea on how to close.

"Why won't you tell us?" Wind asked, and your heart nearly shattered at his teary-eyed expression. You had always been close with the sailor, but this felt different, and you weren't sure if it was for the better or the worst.

Silence.

The longer you watched, the larger the pile of guilt in your stomach became, hugging at your heartstrings like the strings of a guitar, twanging shaky melodies against your ribs.

"Ya can talk ta us," Twilight was the first to break the quiet. He was trying his best to help, and you loved him for it. "We'll listen, but don't feel pressured ta say anythin'."

Your chest tightened.

"Is this about the job?"

Your head snapped up at Wild's guess, mostly because he was absolutely correct and partly because you had forgotten he was even there. "I– how–?"

"You're looking for a job?" Sky asked, perking up slightly, just as Wind interjected: "Is that why you're sad?"

You swallowed–the cat was out of the bag, so why bother hiding it? "Not exactly... I'm not looking."

"You got one?" Four raised a concerned eyebrow, catching on quickly.

"I did." You said, and the heavy feeling in your chest was back. You should have felt happy, elated even, but all you felt was anxiety for the future.

"Isn't that good news?" Legend joined the conversation, tone uncharacteristically gentle. He had been quiet thus far, which was probably best considering the Vet's propensity for sarcasm, but you were grateful that he cared enough to tone it down for you.

You felt yourself shrug, because, really, it was supposed to be. "Yeah, I just..." the corners of your eyes felt wet. "...I don't know."

"Hey," Hyrule leaned forward to rest a comforting hand on your bundled knee. "Whatever happens, we'll be here for you."

There was a chorus of agreement from the others, and you found yourself smiling, blinking back tears. "Thanks 'Rulie."

The TV erupted with cheers, and you blurted a laugh at the disastrous recreation of the Disney character Anna on the screen, having forgotten it was on in the first place. It was cathartic, smiling despite the fading pain in your chest, but when Time pulled you against his side, Wind still clinging to your waist, while the others all drew in for some terrible rendition of a group hug, you found that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be alright again.

Twi is my fav Link so I obviously had to start with him. Also, congrats on the job offer! I know you may not be feeling ecstatic, but that's still an achievement, and I'm so proud of you for getting it, Anon!

Also, if anyone is wondering about the infamous Trump Nailed It! cakes, you're welcome.

[faye-writes-stuff]

welp here we go again

INCORRECT QUOTES TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Y/n: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday Dream: Wednesay Y/n: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

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Y/n: Dream, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power! Dream: Well of course I have. Dream: Have you ever tried going mad without power? Dream: It's boring.

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Y/n: Today is a day of running through hurdles. Ranboo: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles? Y/n: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

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Y/n: Ranboo... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Ranboo: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Y/n: Y/n: I wrote sanitize, Ranboo

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Y/n: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail Sapnap: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police

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Y/n: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Sapnap: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

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George: Welcome, fellow idiots Y/n: Hello, George George: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot Y/n: You underestimate me

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George: *Gets down on one knee* Y/n: Oh my god, it’s finally happening. George: *Falls over* Y/n: The poison is kicking in.

---------------

Tommy: Change is inedible. Y/n: Don't you mean inevitable? Tommy, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

---------------

Tommy: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Y/n's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get them out...

---------------

Tubbo: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Y/n: Oh, I’m always running Y/n: The question is from what

---------------

Tubbo: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Y/n: It’s not a joke. Y/n: *sniffles* Y/n: I’m a legit snack.

---------------

Foolish: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao Y/n: What did you do op? Foolish: A MISTAKE

---------------

Y/n: Foolish... Foolish: Oh no, 'Foolish' in b-flat. Foolish: You're disappointed.

---------------

Technoblade: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Y/n: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Technoblade, desperately, as Y/n bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Y/n: Oh! B positive. Technoblade: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Y/n:

---------------

Technoblade, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something. Y/n: I saw a squirrel in a tree today! Technoblade, with the tone of someone who is used to Y/n: Outstanding. Technoblade: This is what I’m talking about people.

---------------

Technoblade: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Y/n: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Technoblade: Absolutely not.

---------------

i accidentally hit post on this too early so if you saw this b4 it was finished- no you didn't

ANYWAYS enjoy, because the last one got over 300 likes so

ic master list :)

[silverislander]

day 30: enemy

caitlyn comes out of the meeting room, boots echoing on the marble, and her face is stony.

"how'd it go?" vi asks, sitting up on the bench.

"she's disappointed." caitlyn sits down next to her. "we could have had her today, vi. we can't let her get away again."

it sounds like a warning more than a statement of fact.

"you don't have to talk to me like that, you know." vi's trying her damnedest to keep her own tone even.

"like what?"

"like you're giving me orders."

caitlyn has been easy to read since the day she stepped too close to vi's cell. this look that she's giving her now, though? vi can barely parse it.

it passes quickly, though. caitlyn closes her eyes, breathes deeply and furrows her brow, and vi finds comfort in knowing that that means she's disappointed in herself. "i'm sorry. i just- you know how important this is to me."

this being capturing vi's baby sister.

they haven't talked about what happens after caitlyn catches her. vi can't bring herself to ask, and caitlyn seems to think she should just know the logical conclusion. there's no option that makes her feel good: jinx banished oceans away where she'll never see her again, jinx rotting in a cell the way vi was supposed to, something worse that vi won't allow herself to name.

vi has been doing her best to prolong the inevitable, however it comes to them.

"take a break, caitlyn," vi's voice is almost a whisper as she puts a hand on caitlyn's shoulder, turns her so she can see her eyes, close enough to smell her perfume. "i'm going home- come with me. let's sleep it off."

prolonging means peace can't last forever, though.

the door in front of them opens again, and ambessa walks out. backlit by the evening, she looks like every avenging spirit vi's ever read about. it makes her understand why their first words are to not be afraid.

she doesn't say a word; she just gives them both a look that vi is sure is meant to be dismissive and walks down the hallway, out the door, leaving them alone again.

when vi turns back to caitlyn, that implacable cast is back over her eyes. vi's favourite colour was always blue, but that look makes her understand why people think of it as cold.

"i'm going to be in the office," caitlyn says. "you can come or go home, whatever you need, but i'm going to stay. i'm going to make sure that next time, we won't fail."

won't fail. whatever that means. vi's already failed, letting any of this happen.

she can't help herself. before caitlyn can get up to go, vi stands, spits, "good night, sheriff," and walks away.

[bonefall]

How do you feel about "character joins bloodclan" aus? Im curious about ur thoughts since youre really in tune with the themes of the series but personally i just hate them bc its ALWAYS aimed at 'unfortunate' characters and always ALWAYS ignores the fact that bloodclan is a horrible place in-canon and that they're just reflavoring the abuse and trauma the characters qent through to be more emo or goth themed.

Ravenpaw is ALWAYS a prime target for this and its like. Great. You took the character being abused by their mentor figure and is being harmed from the violent culture the clan has generated... and giving them an EMO mentor figure who will inevitably abuse them and harm them as a result of the violent culture the emo clan has generated. Sasha is another one I've noticed- you've put the woman who lost her kit and is struggling to survive with the others while being controlled and abused by someone who sees her as an outsider (aka alone and easy to isolate), and are gonna put her in a faction who specifically separates kin from one another to easily control them and who have canonically tried murdering those who stick with their family. What was gained here.

Like i know bloodclan is revamped in ur au (thank god for it) but in canon bloodclan is HORRIBLE. People ignore that in favor of putting their favs into bloodclan bc bloodclan is cool and killed tigerstar that one time bc of revenge. Ravenpaw becomes Scourge AUS are SO SO SO much worse bc of this too- sure you manage to point out how scourge and raven has roughly similar stories in their youth but you could also do something interesting and make an au where raven and scourge are FOILS and do a firestar/scourge thing, while pointing this comparison out!! Instead you just went "Ravenpaw emo now and is sad about beating up Firestar his friend" and basically kept everything the same.

Sorry im basically venting here but i just dont like how people forget that scourge in canon does NOT look out for the 'little guy', he's a murderer and abuser who wants to keep his subjects afraid and separated so that he alone has power over them. Bloodclan is not the cool strong goth group, its the group where two cats slaughter eachother over a piece of twoleg scraps, only for the survivor to die bc the food was poisonous to cats and no one knew bc theres no cohesive group that can pass that knowledge around. its a fucking horrible place to live. Im not saying that you cant do interesting "character in bloodclan" aus (a Rusty who lives in bloodclan who STILL wants to do good but is shaped by the horrid reality of bloodclan would be fun imo) but its so often used with already traumatized characters as a 'solution' or 'fix-it with some emotional issues involved' that i just foam at the mouth and howl like a rabid animal on principle at this point.

Hmm... I think for me, it doesn't tend to read that way for me when the fandom makes AUs for it. I'm coming at BloodClan from a point of really deep critique and frustration.

BloodClan's not a REAL place, and what that means is, every speck of how horrible it was is a choice the writers made to justify its treatment. It was something they actively decided, because, BloodClan was a tool to suddenly invalidate the previous 5 books of TPB so that the series could comfortably conclude there was no need to upset the status quo.

If you haven't read it before, I recommend this post I made on how Darkest Hour Is A Personal Disappointment, but anyway;

We spend a whole series on how Fireheart challenges a broken society, because he is different. Their xenophobia, how isolationism and glory get people killed, the way that Tigerstar's greatest asset is how respected he is... these are bad things. They're things that Fireheart fights for several books.

But then, in the LAST book, in the 11th inning, they introduce BloodClan. They're just evil. They have no nuance. The narrative bends over backwards to stress that this group of evil foreigners LOVES murder, hates friendship, and doesn't believe in our good god.

Suddenly, the Clan cats have to be EXTRA xenophobic and glorious to kill these filthy, murderous foreign hordes. Clan cat belief in their good god makes them stronger than the bloodthirsty barbarians. Firestar kills Scourge and we can feel happy and triumphant about it, when Tigerstar was killed a few chapters ago and given a tragic sendoff.

So, I encourage you to step back from an emotional response to how Filthy and Murderous this group was portrayed, and look at it as a writing choice.

When Tigerstar, known cat-racist and murderer of mixed-race people, is killed by Scourge in self-defense, he is grieved by Firestar and commended for his "good qualities". (and then they retconned in that it was actually secretly revenge all along, not just self defense, so this killing is extra evil)

When Scourge is killed, Firestar just thinks about how it's cool he's not going to heaven, and how all of the previously ferocious BloodClan warriors look so inferior to the forest Clans.

And so, with all that said,

I'm 100% in favor of how the fandom widely looks at this, says, "fuck that" and just makes them the Cool Goth Group. I'd argue pretty strongly that the least nuanced idea of that is still infinitely better than canon.

There was nothing there. It was literally just Xenophobia-Is-JustifiedClan. They literally hated love and friendship and banned families so that Clan cats would look good in comparison. Banned families. You don't get this level of stupid evil from anything else but an 80s cartoon.

Maybe I just don't see the AUs you tend to see (I curate my Tumblr experience very well and generally hang out in more adult-oriented spaces, I can imagine a place like Amino being mostly kids who tend to be immature. Edgelord Angstpiddle is just a normal part of growing up), but every project I see that gives me a glimpse of BloodClan Ravenpaws and Sashas come with such tweaks already assumed.

Like, these are examples I've seen,

They'll have Raven be involved with the formation of BloodClan

Scourge will actually be a character with some pity and mercy, like how he was in Rise of Scourge when his abusive siblings begged him for food, and he fed them before sending them away.

no ban on love and friendship. Lol. Lmao, even.

More of the social structure will be based around acquiring food for people in a 'harsh' environment, leading to that battle, instead of just Evil Foreign Greed (which canon!scourge only had after being almost killed by tigerstar, because he said "actually, in light of new information that you are a murderer, i need to reconsider our deal.")

BloodClan will be overhauled completely. I've seen this a few ways. Connecting them to SkyClan, or the Oakstar raids on Chelford, or even as a positive entity; a surprise ally. (VERY common with BloodClan Ravenpaw AUs I've seen).

Anyways... (Shrug), I dunno dude, it doesn't bother me that much.

[babyinatrenchcoat]

Coming Out - Sister Winchester

Sooo this has been sitting in my drafts since 2017… apparently I came up with the idea in choir class my senior year 😅 I pretty much abandoned my account for like six years, but I’ve been revisiting it the last few days and thought I might as well finish this for shits and gigs.

Also, it turned out a bit more lengthy than I had originally anticipated… I don’t have a word count, I’m sorry

Descrpition: Coming out as gay/lesbian (whichever you prefer to say) to your older brothers.

Characters: Sam, Dean, Sister!reader, Charlie (mentioned)

Warnings: LGBTQ+ (if any of you need that as a warning), strong language (one word, said once)

~~~~~

Today is the day. The inevitability of this day gave you nightmares. The day you’d finally tell your brother’s the truth. You’re certain they both support it. They're fine with Charlie, after all. But that doesn't calm your nerves. The three of you found out pretty close to immediately upon meeting her. But you? Sam and Dean have known you your whole life. This will be so much different.

You pace back and forth in the bunker library, slowly boring a hole into the floor. Your thumb nail quickly becomes raw from your teeth as you run over what you plan to say in your head. This is the most nerve racking thing you’ve ever done. Ever had to do. Because this has to be done. They have to know the truth. It's the only way you can be your whole self around your family.

Not that you’re ashamed. No, it’s more that you’ve never actually said the words out loud. You’ve known about yourself for a very long time, but saying it aloud makes it real. These are different times. You know you have nothing to be ashamed of. Even still, your heart pounds in your throat.

The door starts to open, causing you to stop in your tracks and stare up at it. The color drains from your face, and your heart rate quickens, as if it was possible. Sam and Dean step inside, and you swear you can hear the rapid thumping of your heartbeat in you ears. Your brothers walk down the stairs and into the library where you stand chewing your nail with a terrified look on your face. They notice.

“What’s wrong, y/n?” The eldest brother asks.

“Did something happen?” Sam adds.

You take a deep breath. “Can you guys just sit down please?” The brothers exchange a confused glance before obeying.

“What's going on?” Sam asks as he pulls up his chair.

You run your hands through your hair and begin pacing again. Where do you begin? “Okay, so... I've been wanting to tell you guys this for a while now, but... I dunno, I've been scared, and I haven't really know how to do it, and-” Dean cuts off your rambling.

“Y/n,” he says, bringing your pacing to a halt. “You’re scaring me, kid, calm down. Breathe.” You obey. “Now tell us what's up. You didn't free the Leviathins again or anything, did you?”

You chuckle slightly. “No.”

“Then I don't think there's anything you could do that would be much worse,” he continues, adding a smile. “Talk to us, little sis.”

You try to rethink your approach, but come up dry. Finally, you become impatient with yourself and decide to just spill your guts. “Alright, I'm just gonna say it. But please, please promise that you won't hate me.”

“We could never hate you!” Sam immediately says.

The genuineness in his hazel eyes calms your nerves just a little. But only a little. You still have to force down the golf ball sized lump in your throat. You close your eyes and take another deep breath. Keeping your eyes shut, you finally let it out.

“I’m gay.”

And there it is. It’s out. You’re out. The reality of the words you just said sets in. You’ve never said those words out loud. The pit in your stomach tightens, and you have to hold your breath to keep from crying. Your nerves are still shot, but you also feel free. You’re out! There’s no taking it back now.

You keep your eyes pressed shut for a moment, afraid to see a disappointed look on your brothers’ faces. Finally, you convince yourself to pry one eye open, the curiosity of their reactions becoming overbearing.

Your brothers look at each other, then back at you. An identical smirk spreads across both pairs of lips.

What the hell is that?

Your other eye shoots open and you glare at them, waiting for something, anything, to come out of their mouths. “Well say something!” You practically shout. Dean fails to stifles a chuckle, while Sam allows his smile to spread further. “Why are you laughing?!”

“Y/n,” Same begins. “We know.”

Your whole world shatters, then the pieces come back together in an entirely new arrangement in a split second. The only word you can muster is “What?”

Dean clears his throat and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you remember when you told us about your first kiss?”

How could you forget? “Uh, I seem to remember the two of you pestering the shit out of me until I told you.”

You had made the mistake of coming back to the motel you temporarily called home still blushing profusely. You tried like hell to suppress the crimson color of your burning cheeks, to no avail. “What’s his name?” Your eldest brother had immediately said. How were you supposed to react to his use of the word ‘his’?

Dean snickers about the memory now. “Right,” he agrees. “Anyway, you told us the kid’s name was Alex.”

Where is he going with this? It’s not like you lied. You just chose to leave out the fact that Alex wasn’t a boy. “Yeah?”

Dean pauses for a moment as if to give you a chance to catch up. You respond by simply raising your brows, silently asking him to continue. He looks to Sam for help.

“There wasn’t a single boy named Alex in your school,” Sam says.

Oh.

Heat rises to your entire face. At the time, you hadn’t considered that possibility.

“There was, however, an Alexandra in your grade,” Dean adds. He lifts one eyebrow at you.

You cover the embarrassment on your face with your hands. You’ve been so worried to tell them something that they already knew. Since your were 15, you’ve been trying to keep a cat in a bag that had a giant hole in the bottom. A laugh pushes itself from your stomach, and you drop your hands.

“I should’ve known you guys would try to find the guy,” you say.

Sam scrunches his eyebrows, keeping the smile spread across his face. “Well, yeah,” he sasses.

“Did you honestly think that we would find out that some horny teenage boy was mackin’ on our kid sister and not try to find out who he was?” Dean says.

You toss your palms up in surrender. “Like I said, I should’ve known,” you smile. “You broke into the school, didn’t you?”

“Of course,” Sam casually says with a quick shrug. All you can do is shake your head. A short moment of silence later, Sam rises to his feet and holds out his arms. “C’mere,” he says, gesturing you towards the space between his arms.

In the time it takes you to walk to him, Dean stands as well, holding one arm open to you. You reach the two of them and collapse into the embrace of the group hug. The weight of a thousand worlds lifts off your shoulders and is replaced by comfort. Comfort you only ever feel from your brothers.

You squeeze your arms around them just a bit tighter. “You guys are the best big brothers a girl could ask for.”

Dean squeezes back and plants a kiss on the top of your head. “You mean the world to us, Y/n, you know that.”

You nuzzle yourself further into your brothers’ arms. The last ten minutes replays in your mind, and you can’t help but giggle. “I can’t believe you guys have known this whole time.”

“Of course we knew,” Sam’s voice sounds from above you. “And even if we hadn’t found out then, you’re not exactly discreet about checking out bartenders and waitresses.”

The only defense you can think of is a slap on his chest. The action sends the two men away from you in a laughing fit.

“I am so!”

“You are so not,” Dean says between chuckles.

After the three of you recover from your laughter, you just stare at them for a moment. You’ve been worried for nothing. These two dorks would do anything for you. There’s nothing in the universe that would make them think any less of you.

“I love you guys,” you say.

Dean reaches over and tousles your hair. “We love you too, kiddo.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Let me know if you guys want the story of the boys finding out about Alexandra, cause I would LOVE to write that in detail.

[angeldelillith]

I know I've been busy for a few days, but I'll catch up, which means two to three stories will be uploaded per day. Wish me luck.

Day 4: "No, we're not doing that"

Fandom: Pinecest

The warnings and alibis had already been said. Enough had been said. False promises and broken words would only create a much bigger problem than the one they had started with.

The words from years ago had never stopped echoing, "Don't you understand the gravity of the situation?!" "I'm sorry, you're on your own." "You have to stop." "You have to put an end to it, whether you like it or not."

No warning seemed to change their minds. Their decisions had been made; they weren't going to walk away from everything they wanted, and the consequences were inevitable. But how prepared were they?

ENOUGH

Stan had both twins in the room. He paced back and forth, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He was nervous but also disappointed by his nephews' trust and lack of commitment.

Such drastic situations require even more drastic measures, but that wasn't up to him. He had already said it, Stan would step aside. They were on their own.

However, he wasn't going to let it continue happening; he wasn't a monster either. He didn't trust either of them, but he also wouldn't let reality catch up with them. But there was only one thing left to do.

He explained to the twins, told them they should stay upstairs. They should just stay there and wait.

Dipper walked behind his sister. He didn't remember ever feeling such a darkest night. It hadn't even gotten dark yet, but the sun was slowly beginning to set. At that moment, he understood that it would be the darkest night of all.

No defense or excuse would be valid.

They had both been caught in small slip-ups. Their parents knew, they had known from the very beginning. "Cut it out," their father would say angrily as a threat.

They had already had a confrontation separately, followed by a long, painful talk, but neither knew about the other and both were too afraid to ask.

But now...

Stan had discovered them a year ago. They wanted to be honest with the only adult they trusted the most, but it had been a mistake.

They talked about a relationship since adolescence, and the more time passed, the more secure they felt about those feelings. Stan shook his head, repeating the sermon they had already heard a thousand times. "You have to stop, distance yourselves. It will be for your own good."

No.

Now the scene was repeating itself, only without a sermon, without help or even warnings. Just a timer they had to prepare for.

They were both lying on their sides on Mabel's bed, surrounded by all her stuffed animals. The lights of the sunset already covered all their walls. Mabel stretched out her arm, pointing at the ceiling to cover herself with the last rays of the sun, until her brother's hand appeared at her side copying her gesture and finally intertwining with hers.

“Why do you think Stan doesn't want us to hear the call?- Mabel thought, remembering the image of her uncle next to his phone, waiting for them to disappear from his sight. Do you think he wants to save us?”

“No, I don't think so. Didn't you see him? He was disappointed.”

“What did we do to him?”

“Ask them…”

They both curled up on their sides, looking at each other. The sun had disappeared, and the dim moonlight barely made its presence felt.

“What do you think is going to happen?”

Mabel tried to start a new conversation, so much silence was clashing with her thoughts, and neither of them were good at it. But, however, their hands were still together. I'm sure they're very angry, they'll be here any minute.

“Are you waiting for them? Tell me, what else can we do?”

“What else could we do?! Let's run away…”

“What?!”

At that moment she got up, letting go of his grip, looking at him as if it were a game.

“Do you have a better idea? How has it gone for us?”

“Tell me... Mabs... I only see negative results. That we've escaped once doesn't guarantee anything, quite the opposite. How are we going to face them? We'll talk to them again about love and consent, begging them to see what we see. Stan didn't…”

“It's very difficult, bro…”

“No... I don't want to face them or accept those unfair consequences, but I couldn't leave you alone either. Let's run away... We can figure out the rest along the way, I know we'll figure it out. We can be happy…”

“Dipper....”

“What? This is your idea, or would you rather stay? Do you think you can handle it? Tell me then, what's going to happen next?”

After 3 a.m., they had both packed their backpacks and were silently descending the stairs. The cabin was dark, and they slowly opened the front door. They ran through the trees, knowing Stan would notice their absence in a few hours, giving them more than enough time to find a road and try to get as far away as possible.

But the more they ran, the deeper they were in the forest, and the adrenaline and fear could play against them. Both almost out of breath, they stopped and sat on the ground. Dipper took a flashlight from his backpack that barely illuminated them. Their phones had been left behind, they weren't going to be so stupid as to be tracked, but it was noticeable even though they had a long way to go.

Suddenly, Dipper heard Mabel whimpering, her head fixed on the ground as she wiped her eyes.

“I want to go back” - she snorted.

“No, we're not going back. You're crazy.”

“Let's go back Dipper…”

“No! Forget it. You're just scared, listen to me…”

“No, no. You listen to me!” Mabel raised her voice, at the same time as she seemed to fall apart. “I know I told you to leave, but what are we supposed to do? We don't have any money, we're not old enough for it to be anything but more trouble. It will be resolved, we're not going back. Stan- Stan just wants the best for us, just like our parents…”

“No Mabel... No…”

“What if something happens to us in the middle of the forest? I couldn't leave you here and go for help. I don't even know where we are. What if I never see you again?”

“That's what will happen…” Dipper whispered.

“What?”

“That's what will happen if we go back Mabel! I won't see you again, don't ask me to do that. I won't.”

“Then what? I can't put your life or mine at risk. I love you Dipper, you know I do, you've always known how I've always known it. I know we can handle this.”

“I couldn't imagine a single day without you…”

“If it happens, it will be temporary, I promise... if it happens, it will only be for a while”.

Dipper turned his back on her, clenched his fists. But he only turned back to take her arm again and hug her, he needed to feel her warmth even if it was for the last time.

They didn't want to escape forever.

They stayed for a few more hours until the sun rose again, making the return journey much easier. They swore to each other again to stay strong, they weren't going to lie about their feelings.

What they didn't expect to find was all the lights on in the cabin, or their parents' car in the driveway.

They slowly approached, Dipper held Mabel's hand tightly while with the other he turned the doorknob.

[silverskye13]

I’m going through a mental crisis of trying to get my brain to STOP SHIPPING tanguish and hels. I hate life… I’d still live to read your fanfic tho :)

the ask part now… what’s the difference between Tanguish’s and Tango’s personality? Just curious since they act pretty similar in my mind. :)

(I love you can I marry you 💍, from your friend Duck… don’t listen to my username I made it like 6 years ago).

Tango and Tanguish are pretty similar! I thought it would be neat for them to be. I was told a long time ago you tend to hate the most in others the things you hate about yourself [which has led to,,, a lot of paranoia over the years come to think of it] but it seemed like a cool way to build a codependent helsmet.

More under the read more since it gets a little long.

If I had to pin down differences though, I would say Tango has a more dominant personality, whereas Tanguish spends a lot of time trying not to take up much space. Tanguish makes himself small, says appeasing things, and prioritizes getting other people talking as opposed to talking himself. He wants to go unnoticed, be a background character. Tango wants to be a main character. He's bigger, isn't afraid of taking up space, and likes being loud and exuberant.

Tango thinks his eccentricities make him more interesting, Tanguish thinks his eccentricities need to be hidden.

Their differences are more in line with how they want people to see them, as opposed to actual differences. I would also say Tanguish is a more proactive character than Tango. Tango lets things happen to him [and gets disappointed by negative outcomes in a "this was inevitable" kind of way] while Tanguish is learning through the plot to make things happen. He is still disappointed by negative outcomes, but he has a more personal stake in that disappointment.

On the shipping thing:

If it's any consolation you are not the only person who thinks they're shippable! Buried somewhere on the tags of one of my Tumblr snippets [or in my ask box somewhere maybe?] someone said Hels and Tanguish should kiss, and sometimes that comment haunts the back of my head while I'm writing, quietly reminding me it exists and the ship would probably be adorable once Hels stopped being toxic.

By all means ship them if you want! This whole hels AU thing started as just me having fun I'm not going to stop other people from having fun as well lol you'll just have to forgive me if I don't ship them myself. Platonic love, non-romantic love, is so, so dear to me <3 people don't write it enough.

(Also so sorry I cannot marry you. You must complete one quest of Grail-like significance and contest in at least 7 jousts with my token as your banner before you may ask for my hand. Your family crest is a duck now. Enjoy!)

[anxiety-banana]

Ty @royallykt and @twentyfunnybunnies for the tag!!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

103 + however many dozen nony fics

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

262,661 which is both terrifying and disappointing... I just wanna have a novel written lol

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Star Wars, Marvel, and Smosh (but all the smosh stuff is unpublished as of yet) with a past sprinkling of white collar!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

when it matters (white collar) inevitability is a stupid, stupid, thing (marvel, penny parker) if you’re so smart, tell me why are you still so afraid? (suits) (used to be anon haha) big brothers make it okay (clone wars) insert the anon fic i will not be publishing publicly

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yup! It's my one and only fic superpower lol, I really love responding to comments

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

call me what i am, call me a monster is definitely one of the angstiest endings, but I sure do write a lot of angst... it usually ends well though

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I Know, I'm Sorry (But You Can Do Better) is a very fluffy fic overall and though it's technically a one shot book, it will most certainly always end fluffy haha

8. Do you get hate on fics?

A LOT of passive aggressive hate lol, usually people telling me I wrote an arbitrary fact in a fictional world wrong, in which there's no way to really be wrong, so those are sort of fun haha. It's usually just a lot of mean corrections for things that don't need correcting (like what translation of Beowulf I used for a fic title)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope and nope. I've written like,,, one fade to black haha

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No, but I would if I had the inspo

11. Which fic are you proud of but wish had gotten a bigger response from your readers?

we know your name (but not who you are) has a special place in my heart, so I'll always wish it got more attention

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but as always, we're working on translating all my fic into legible English prose for once in my life

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried to with my friends Ash and Lily like two years ago and it stressed me out so bad, we reeaally should have planned better ahaha

14. What's your all-all time favorite ship?

hgnghghg Shourtney has my heart also modern Rexsoka has me in a CHOKEHOLD

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a feeling I won't finish a shot in the dark, no chaser, but I'm IN LOVE with it, so it'll live with me forever now <3

16. What are your writing strengths?

I tend to be good with prose when I get into it, and I've been told my dialogue flows very naturally

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I suck at just... very basic scene transitions. Like yes I know they just went from their house to their job but that took me three weeks to write

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like it! I may be able to do a tiny bit of French but personally I wouldn't trust myself to haha

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Marvel, when Endgame first came out, and a BBC Merlin fic that was actually just a reader insert but I had no idea what that was

20. Favorite fic you've written?

where the hurt never mended, i see a grave that never got covered is still one of my all time favs because I wrote it in like a day and I just had so much passion put into it

Thanks again for the tag!! I've been tagging a whole lotta people recently so this is your open invitation to take this as your tag

[jamies-overalls]

Damie - angst??? Maybe they get into a fight?? And one of them sleeps on the couch 👀

I do love some Damie angst that leads to cuddles at the end.... Thanks for the prompt!

"I dunno, Dani, I'm just tired..." Jamie sighed softly when she came home from the shop one evening.

She'd wandered in, only to find Dani completely dressed up and ready for their night out. Jamie had realized that she'd not only forgotten about their plans, but she also wasn't really in the mood to go.

"Jamie, you've canceled our date night every time we try to go out for the last three weeks." Dani sighed softly, looking disappointed that it had happened again.

"Look, I'm sorry, I just... Long day. It's been a long day, a long week, a long month, whatever." Jamie carefully took off her boots so that she didn't get mud in the house.

"It's always a long day for you. Are you ever going to have any short days? You don't even take a day off anymore, it feels like you're avoiding me or something."

Jamie stared at her. "What, you think I can control exactly how my day goes? It takes a lot of work to run the shop, you know that! Not to mention the stuff I can't plan for that inevitably goes wrong every day."

"I know that, Jamie, but--"

"But nothing! I'm tired, and I don't want to go out."

"We've been trying to do this for weeks!"

"And things keep coming up! It's just one of those times, I can't do anything about it."

"No, but what you can do is warn your girlfriend ahead of time that maybe tonight isn't the night, just so that she doesn't put in all this effort just for nothing, again! I'm okay with a night in, but I feel like an afterthought here. We have to make time for each other, or this isn't going to work!"

Jamie fell silent at Dani's words. She knew Dani was right. She understood. She did. But maybe it was the exhaustion, maybe it was the implication that maybe this wouldn't work out, and it stung. It hurt. Was that really something that Dani was afraid of? That she and Jamie wouldn't work out, potentially because of something of Jamie's own doing? She set down her bag and headed into the bedroom.

"Where are you--? Jamie, what are you doing?"

Jamie came back into the living room with a pillow and a spare blanket. "I'm sleeping out here tonight."

"Jay..."

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm done with this conversation. I just want to go to bed."

"Jamie... You don't have to sleep out here, even if we're fighting." Dani said softly.

"We're fighting now. Great." Jamie muttered. She knew she'd have to apologize and explain herself eventually, but she was too emotional at that moment. "I'm gonna go take a shower." She said quietly and quickly made her way to the bathroom.

By the time she emerged, having spent half an hour in the shower and take time to think things through, Dani had gone to bed. Or, at least, their bedroom door was shut and the light was off.

Jamie sighed softly. "Way to go, fucking things up again, Jamie..." She muttered to herself, shaking her head as she made herself comfortable on their old couch. Old habits die hard, she supposed. After years of being on her own and having her walls up at all times, open communication wasn't the easiest thing. But for Dani? She had to try. Dani was the best part of her life, she couldn't let that go or even come close to losing her.

She dozed off after awhile, but woke to the sound of what she thought might be very quiet crying. With a frown, she got up and wandered towards the bedroom. She opened the door to find Dani curled up on Jamie's side of the bed, sniffling quietly.

"Oh, Dani..." Jamie sighed softly and walked over, climbing into bed and laying down beside her. "Dani, I'm so sorry..." She said gently, reaching out to rub her back soothingly.

"Thought you were sleeping on the couch..." Dani murmured.

"I was, but I heard you, and... even if we're fighting, I'm not going to ignore you when you're hurting. Dani, I didn't mean to hurt you. I really didn't. But it happened, and I'm so sorry."

Dani carefully shifted so that she was facing Jamie. "I know. And I know how busy you've been and how hard you've been working. I don't want to invalidate all of that. I just feel like I never see you. And every time we cancel a date, you promise we'll do it next time, but then you have to cancel it again. I know it's not your fault. It's hard work, what you do. But it felt like I wasn't important."

Jamie grimaced. "Yeah, I've been a real ass lately. I'm sorry. I've been kind of drowning a bit at the shop. I don't think I realized how much work it was going to be. But I promise, as soon as I can afford it, I'll hire an employee or two. That way we can actually have our date nights. And, I promise to get better at communicating how I'm feeling, too."

"I think we can handle that." Dani nodded. "Maybe we just do some dates at home for now? Until we can figure this out?"

"I think that's a good idea. I love you. And we'll talk this through more in the morning. But I am so tired. Can we go to sleep?" Jamie said with a soft chuckle.

"Of course we can. I love you too. Get some rest, love. We'll figure it out tomorrow." Dani said softly.

It was still going to take some work, from both of them. Nothing is ever solved overnight, after all. But there was some hope, and they were sleeping side by side again.

[hermitcatlongposts]

Sprite Animations

Hello! I'm here to talk about my sprite animations in my upcoming touhou-clone game.

This was even more overwhelming than portrait artworks. Because to animate is to draw even more when just drawing once overwhelms me. But here I am at the end of it.

Let's start from the easiest to hardest.

Bellhead Monk was a smooth sailing because since long ago I always knew that all I needed was to just extend his arms and reverse. His main theme of attack is about expansion and shrinkage.

Here's all 3 frames. I love how I briskly redrew the gray fur piece to deform instead of going the lazy route and just move only the arms and call it a day. I'm always afraid of sounding like a self-lusting narcissist, but it is very unexpected; the way even the smallest things I do as an artist make me feel proud of myself. Maybe I shouldn't be concerned about projecting the perfect humble gentleman image. Maybe creating art to make yourself happy is the point of life. Sorry, I got sidetracked.

Next one is Buckethead Knight. He's harder but only because I shot myself in the foot by drawing the first frame without coming up with the animation idea. If I did know motion he would perform, I would've put the sword and the shield on a separate layer from the rest so I wouldn't have to awkwardly erase and redraw things.

oh now that I look at it straight like this, it looks like a death animation, doesn't it. Well, he will anyways, tough luck.

I cannot remember the reason why I put these two in one gif. They're not duo boss. For Flaskhead Alchemist and Lamphead Scientist I felt curious about utilizing particle effects and keep the actual animation frames as simple as I can because I'm suffering from skill issues.

But even with that being said, this one's a bit of a step up because it's one more frame than previous two character.

The spinning staff is separate sprite because it still spins on while the body animation stops at the last frame.

Now, I could try the similar thing as Buckethead Knight and make a slashing (more like just swinging around) animation with only his one arm moving. But the time inevitably comes where I have to cut the "lazy and smart, haha" bullshit off. He moves all parts of his body so it's time to draw every frames from scratch. Ok, forget my big talk. I was joking. I'm still a piece of garbage. Due to the absolute requirement of outline thickness consistency, all these sprites are first drawn in 512x512 pixel canvas and then shrunk down to 128px inside the game engine for pixel per unit to camera size technical yada yada. But his long sword, or rather a bamboo stick couldn't fit inside the 512px canvas. What I should've done is to simply resize the canvas to 1024px and draw in the sword. But I was stupid and drew the sword in separate file and now it's kinda awkward relationship which slightly stops me from uploading his full resolution frames. But it doesn't really matter, you're only gonna see a very small 128px version in the game anyways. So here's a bunch of screenshots of the frames seen from the engine:

And 3 frames of physics:

Tho I didn't have the hutzpa to do it on the lower part.

But can I gush a bit about the base frame. My expectations are constantly at absolute lowest and I always get happy when it actually turns out great. (subjective) I really hope it stays this way forever. God I hope it won't be the case in the future where after I practice art seriously it gets reversed and I always have too high expectations and live in a constant state of disappointment and hatred.

Thank you so much for bearing with me while I take on this overwhelming challenge. I'll go now and do less overwhelming but even more bulky task to the finish line. Until then, cheers!

[zeciex]

I think that because of your story I am team green, your way of capturing Aemond and the entire family plot makes me empathize with them much more than with Daemon and Rhaenyra... what's wrong WITH ME

Its weird because I'm team Black!!! I support Rhaenyra's rights and wrongs lol

I think its because we've spend so much time with the characters (mostly Aemond) from team green in the story. I empathize with the green characters, and understand their characters and why they are the way they are.

But I also extend the same empathy to team Black. In this story, Rhaenyra has taken a step back from the political intrigue to raise her family on Dragonstone. She's a bit like her father in her avoidance of things that really shouldn't be avoided. And Daemon is just preparing for the inevitable. Daenera is send to KL because he trusts her and trust that she will prepare things for when Rhaenyra decide to step up and take a more political role. He didn't expect Daenera to get in the trouble she got in with Aemond, and when he heard that she had fucked up by giving Aemond her maidenhead (ammo for ruining her), he did what he thought was best and had her betrothed to Boris.

Of course, that was to save Daenera's ass from rumors of ruin, but it was also pragmatic-- a two birds one stone kind of thing. Daemon put a lot of expectations on Daenera, and he does love her, but he also sees her as a pawn he can use. And perhaps, he should have eased up on her, but he didn't.

Daemon is a character who sees things as black and white, either you're a friend or you're an enemy. There's a hard line that shouldn't be crossed, and he will react poorly if it is. But he's also very protective of those that he loves, of Rhaenyra especially, of his brother, of his children. Daenera may think that he doesn't consider her his, but he does-- he just expects more of her than the others (mostly also because we haven't really seen his relationship with his children) And I'm 100% sure that he would have flown to KL and cut Boris down had he known of the abuse, but Daenera was afraid he wouldn't and she was afraid of disappointing him.

I like team black and we will see more of them when ep 10 comes around for the story; we'll get to hop into both Rhaenyra and Daemon's head, and see how they handle things.

Strangely a lot of readers dislike Rhaenyra and Daemon in this story, which is not what I at all intended. Some of their actions are misconstrued into something I never intended it to be, but that's how writing is sometimes. And I think a lot of it comes from the fact that we haven't seen a lot of them, and that they've been away when major things happen/we've only seen them through Daenera's view and its inherently biased; she's a girl who doesn't want to worry her parents and don't want to disappoint them. And honestly, the reason why I've had them separated this much (like them not attending the wedding/funeral) was because it would trigger scenes too early or screw up the timeline.

This was far longer than you properly expected, sorry for that! But hey!! I'm very happy you're enjoying the story and that you might have gotten another point of view <3

[honorhearted]

"You're a good man," Mary said. Her hand squeezed over top of his own, soft and warm, and despite his best efforts, his chin wobbled with emotion. Could he be considered "good" anymore? What was the determining factor when there was so much blood on his hands?

Insistent, Mary continued, "And you will make a fine husband to one blessed woman someday."

"I'm jealous of Abe," Benjamin blurted, only to reel from the scandal of saying such words aloud. Shoulders tensing, he exhaled and barreled onward, "While I'm out here, neck-deep in the horrors of war, he's at home with a wife and child...with you and Thomas, and able to serve alongside two people who love him more than life itself." Wincing, he amended, "I-I am aware this is no longer true, seeing how the fight chased you here to New Windsor, but...the sentiment...it remains the same. And I know that being six-and-twenty isn't old, by any means, but it's far older than I wished to start a family. If I even get to start one."

Unbidden, his voice broke and Benjamin looked away again, ashamed for having spun this around to be about himself. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean...I-I only meant to say that you are lucky, and Abe is far luckier. To have such love in this time of pain and adversity...it's truly a blessing."

Mary shook her head. "I've already told him. He knows how I feel, and has assured me that he does not feel the same. He's made it unmistakably clear."

Benjamin fell silent, ashamed for having pressed upon the innermost bruise of her heart. "Mrs. Woodhull..."

She rose from the cot, abrupt and sharp in her movements, and then she started to pace, her movements a bit wobbly due to the madeira. "Though I'm certain I needn't tell you this," she continued on. "After all, it's no doubt sorely obvious just by watching us together. The man can hardly put his arms around me without a guilty wince or pathetically halfhearted enthusiasm."

Rubbing a hand over his chin, Benjamin anxiously jiggled his foot and offered, "Abe is...he's guarded. And he's lost so, so much that he's undoubtedly afraid to love in full." Eyes shining, he lowered his hand again. "I know I would be. And am. When you put your heart on the line too often, it hurts...madam, it hurts to lose someone you care for. Perhaps Abe is afraid that the same will happen to you, just as it did to his brother."

It was unkind to lie -- treacherous, in fact -- but Benjamin wanted so badly for that to be the truth. Mary, however, seemed frustrated beyond repair. Although he wished to retreat at the injured fire in her eyes, he found himself rising instead, holding out his hands as though to appease her. "Madam," he gently soothed, "please...have a seat."

Mary turned on him in an instant. "I don't want... I don't want to be what he settles for...I-- I want..."

Their eyes locked, and then everything shifted on its axis. Her hands were suddenly in his hair and her mouth was on his, firm and eager, and sweetly perfumed with madeira. Benjamin made a soft noise of surprise, his own inhibitions lowering to the point of seeking her touch, drowning in it as Mary twisted her hands through his lapels and yanked him forward.

Stumbling along with her, Benjamin cupped her face and angled into her kiss with far too much eagerness; with the verve of a man starving for contact, hungry for affection, when all he received day in and day out were unkind words and the violence at the end of a battlefield. But this? This he would surrender for; he would get on his hands and knees, if only to be loved, wanted, rather than continuously wallowing in the disappointment he inevitably seemed to bring. Surely, this would be yet another?

Snagging a hand through her hair, Benjamin harshly reclaimed Mary's mouth with his own, angling his face almost painfully into hers amidst his frantic need to get closer. Weak, weak, he was so weak, and with his tongue stealing over hers, he refused to think of Sarah and how everyone he cared for met a grisly end -- how this could only conclude badly -- and quivering, Benjamin kept his mouth pressed greedily into Mary's, willing her to end the cycle of hurt and pain and suffering.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.

He broke the kiss with a panicked breath. "M-Mrs. Woodhull..."

The backs of Mary's thighs bumped into the long table with all of his maps, and shuddering, Benjamin caught his weight against the furniture with his palms, their panting breath searing him as their lips aligned and teased in the slightest kiss.

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Trembling, he touched a hand to Mary's face and shook his head, horror and revulsion and shame all churning in a tart, nauseating soup inside his stomach. "We can't," Benjamin whispered, his voice catching like a thorn on silk. "Mrs. Woodhull, I...I can't be what you need. You belong with your husband, whether he loves you or not."

He felt sick. Oh God, he could scarcely breathe, and staggering away from her, he kept his hands uplifted, almost as if he could somehow shield himself from the horrid transgression he'd just committed.

As she sat there listening to the Major speak, she knew it hadn't been right of her to blame him for Thomas' accident. He had no true obligation to them, and yet he'd taken it upon himself to be a mentor to Thomas, and now permitting her to confide in him on topics that would otherwise be inappropriate. He was assuring her that she had value, despite her doubts.

"You're a good man," she said, covering his hand with her free one so that she could offer him some kindness-- some warmth, in return, "And you will make a fine husband to one blessed woman someday."

Looking disconcerted, Benjamin retracted his hands and she settled her own into her lap, "You should ask this of Abraham. Time spent in war...it makes us realize just what we have, and what's truly important. It's not too late to tell him how you feel -- to let him know what you want. Perhaps he'll listen."

Initially she wished to laugh ruefully, but instead she merely shook her head and said, "I've already told him. He knows how I feel, and has assured me that he does not feel the same."

Maybe her candidness was improper, but as she sat there with a mild buzz causing her head to spin, Mary felt it hardly mattered at this point. Major Tallmadge already knew much more than was deemed necessary for one outside of a marriage.

"He's made it unmistakably clear."

Mary rose from her place on the cot, suddenly feeling the urge to pace rather than sit painfully still, like a decorous and respectable lady. Perhaps the lady in her had died back at Whitehall, or even back in the fire of her old home, along with poor unfortunate Ensign Baker.

"Though I'm certain I needn't tell you this. After all, it's no doubt sorely obvious just by watching us together. The man can hardly put his arms around me without a guilty wince or pathetically halfhearted enthusiasm."

‘Be kind’, her mother's words echoed again, ‘kind and fair and devout and true. These are the makings of a desirable woman.’

No, she thought, no more.

She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs in anguish, to throw herself to the ground and beat the earth with her fists until they were bloodied. Lord above, was she so tired of letting the pain tear her to pieces like so many bullets from enemy muskets. In frustration, she spun on her heel to face Tallmadge again, unable to make sense of her thoughts as she stood there in exasperation.

"I don't want... I don't want to be what he settles for...I-- I want..."

Then their eyes met, and in a split decision brought on by loneliness, self pity, or wild need, Mary closed the gap between them, cupped Tallmadge's face and brought her lips to his, desperate to feel a loving and reciprocated touch.

[catchcrows]

Are you guys gone for good? :(

no!!!