#it's important for me to be understood that i don't say it because of favouritism

[justrainandcoffee]

The sound of silence (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc) + (Alfie Solomons x Tommy Shelby)

Summary: Why did she agree? To make Alfie happy. Why did Tommy accept? Because love is blind. For two years they've been living under the same roof. She and Tommy sharing the same man... And the same misery. Love makes you feel happy, people say. They know it's not always true.

Warnings: Angst. ANGST. || Alfie is bigamous.|| Everyone here is miserable. || Mentions of killing and political corruption. Period typical homophobia. || Did I mention ANGST?

Words: 3.6k || Alfie masterlist

"Put a number."

There she was in front of a man making business with him to save her husband and his lover from a catastrophe.

"The newspaper is not for sale."

"Everything is for sale if you know what is good for you and your family. Put a fucking number."

The man was around 45 years old and that money was synonymous with an earlier retirement. Silence had a price and his newspaper, too.

"Twenty-five grand."

"I'll make 27 and I'll guarantee that your ass is safe, as long as you learn to keep your mouth shut. Do we have an agreement, Mr. Donovan?"

"Yes, Mrs. Solomons."

"If you open your mouth, a bullet will open your fucking brain. Do you understand, right?"

"I do, Mrs. Solomons. I do."

First she signed the papers that made her the legal owner of the most important newspaper in London and then, she gave him the cheque. If 27,000 pounds didn't make him be quiet and understood the kind of people were behind her, then violence will. But that was the last choice.

Two policemen started their days with a bullet in their hearts and an inspector appeared drown in the Thames. But they were just isolated accidents: thieves and a suicide. That's what the newspaper was going to say the following morning.

No mentions of the fucking party.

Solomons-Shelby was an alliance that could make the King shit on his throne. And the leaders of both bands were fucking in the same bed.

-Two years ago-

Alfie liked him. Rose knew it the moment her husband started to talked nonstop about the Birmingham man as soon as they met and for the first time ever she experienced jealousy. Until Thomas Shelby appeared, Alfie never put his eyes on anyone else but her.

"I love you, Rosie."

"…but you also love him."

Alfie didn't like him. Alfie loved him.

"Do you want the divorce?"

The words shattered her own heart. The idea of a life without her Alfie sounded like millions of knives in her soul. They were always him and her against the world, since they were kids. Always. Silent tears started to run down her cheeks, but she kept looking at him.

"Fuck! No! I can't live without you, Rosie. Don't ask me that again! I love you."

"Do you?"

"Like always."

"Did you cheat on me with him?"

"No. Not even once."

"Did you fantasize about fucking him?" she continued asking. But this time Alfie didn't answer. Rose bit her lower lip and nodded "You did."

Rose demanded to meet the man in question. She didn't expect to see what she saw. The man in front of him was the kind of person that God put on Earth to make other doubt about themselves. And Rose, was one of them. Took her little to nothing to understand why her husband for years, her forever love, suddenly appeared in their house with someone else in his mind.

She agreed because she didn't want to see Alfie lost in a world where he craved for a touch she couldn't give him. She agreed because the last thing Rose wanted was to see the person he loved the most being sad. She agreed because she didn't want to lose him.

The first night Alfie spent with Thomas Shelby, Rose did it crying in their bed praying for that was just a bad dream.

"I'm not going to leave you. I'm not going to leave you," he said over and over again when he returned the next morning. She was laying on him, both of them in his favourite couch, while his arms were around her. "I don't know how to say this anymore, but I love you, sweetheart. I swear I love you."

Rose nodded "I know."

She was a proud woman and even when it was Alfie, Rose didn't want to show weakness. She wasn't weak, even if she was broken.

Seeing her, Alfie promised himself that the previous night with Tommy it was going to be the first and last at the same time. Rose could put her mask of strong woman, but Alfie was the only one she couldn't fool. The woman next to him, was once the little girl that committed shenanigans with him. Alfie grew up knowing how she lied. He knew how to read her easily. And she was lying.

The man cupped her face and kissed her. Slowly with tenderness. He loved her and the last thing he wanted was to make her suffer.

"I love you. Tell me you believe me, Rosie."

"I do."

No, she didn't. She didn't believe him.

"Just give me time, Alfie," she said reading his mind.

"How could you doubt that I love you?"

"I don't know what I believe anymore... I'm still trying to understand why did you slept with someone else. And why I agreed."

Because Tommy Shelby is a demigod, her mind said. Of course Alfie chose him.

"It won't happen again."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

.

Tommy couldn't deny his feelings anymore. The amount of prostitutes he slept with, because supposedly that was something men did, couldn't be compared with what happened with the other man in that house he bought in London. It was a small, cozy house that was bought with the sole purpose of fuck with Alfie there. And that was what happened the night before.

He was smoking still in bed, alone and thinking about him. Alfie was married to a woman and Tommy knew Alfie could kill for her. Tommy knew very well that his friend never was going to leave Rose, not for obligation due to the marriage vows, but because he was still in love with her.

To society, she was his wife. Rose was the woman he could walk through the city and no one was going to ask a thing. Alfie was free to hold hands with her and kiss in public. They even made a cute couple. The way his eyes shone when he talked about her and the special way he had to say "My Rosie."

But him, Tommy, he was a fuck in a house after midnight when no one was in the streets. And during day he was Solomons' business partner, the gangster leader of Peaky Blinders. The one who never was going to be anything but a pal.

Tommy started to dress to return to Birmingham. Suddenly he felt like a whore, too.

Nothing but a whore, his mind said.

But Rose was right. Alfie couldn't keep his hands off Tommy. Even if he resisted the temptation the first weeks after their first encounter, Alfie and Tommy found themselves in the same situation more than once. And the most time they spent together, the more in love they fell.

Alfie never hide it from her. Alfie was ready to stop if she didn't consent that anymore. In her whole life, Rose never wanted more to yell at him, to beg him to stop seeing the other man. To even shook him. But she lowered her head and agreed once again because his husband was happy. And also agreed to receive Tommy in her house, to live with them.

Agreed to share the meals with him. To see Alfie's eyes looking at him with love.

Agreed to divide the time she shared with Alfie, and that once was only hers, with another person.

In the next two years she lost her husband as such, her self-esteem, her voice and her smile.

Now

"I bought the newspaper," Rose said entering the house. Tommy and Alfie were in the same table, drinking tea. Or at least her husband was drinking tea. "Donovan won't be a problem. I'm sure."

"Thanks, sweetheart."

"Don't thank me, Alfie. I hope next time you two decide to go to a party, at least check that it's not a fucking trap," she left her coat on a chair and removed her shoes. "I'm sorry, I'm just tired I don't want to be mean… I'm tired. Just that. Don't mind me."

Both men saw her go upstairs to her and Alfie's bedroom.

"Maybe you should go too and check on her," Tommy said. "She's upset."

"I know that. She's my wife!"

"Well, then do something. Today is her turn, after all. And she started her day saving our asses. My ass, especially because she saved me just because of you."

Her turn.

Alfie followed his wife's steps upstairs hearing Tommy's voice. He was right, but doesn't meant it was pleasant to hear. It never was Rose's turn, same way it never was Tommy's turn like if his heart switched to one person to another. One could say that it was perfect to have two people to love living under the same roof. If one got mad, then the other could be willing to open the arms. The double of sex. But it wasn't the case, real life didn't work that way. And lovely as it sounded, it was also tiresome. And not just physically.

"I'm not in the mood," she said when he entered the bedroom.

"I know, sweetheart."

Two years passed and she learnt to be in silence when she wanted to scream. At him. At Tommy. At herself for being so stupid.

The daylight contributed to her bad mood so she closed the windows and let the darkness embrace her. Rose sat down in bed and let out a deep sigh, rubbing her face with her hands.

"I miss you, ya know?" Alfie said sitting at her side. "I miss you, Rosie."

"Mmh. I'm right here, Alfie."

"You're not."

It took them a while to make an agreement. Alfie could spend one week with each of them, doing whatever they want. Watching movies, having sex, killing people, whatever they wanted to do but away from the other part of the fucked triangle they now belonged. It was a great deal for Tommy because he was free to be with the man he loved in the big city that London was, and had time to return to Birmingham to take care of his business. But it wasn't so great for Rose who had to spend her week alone surrounded by her own thoughts in a house that was too big just for her and the dogs. And when it was the time to be with her husband, she felt exhausted.

Alfie touched her hair with his fingertips and caressed her jawline, too. It was hard to think that for him, but he couldn't ignore it anymore, although it was easier to think she was just tired. But Alfie had to come to terms with himself and admit that he didn't see her smile in a long time.

She was always a happy person, anyone who knew her for sure heard her laugh. How many times the two of them were reprimanded by teachers because they couldn't stop giggling? And not so many years ago, the quiet hours together usually were interrupted by Rose's laugh because he told her something that happened in the distillery or because they were commenting something they heard in the radio. Or Cyril's shenanigans. But now, even if he tried, Alfie couldn't remember seeing her smiling.

And they didn't make love in months.

"My women killed the policemen and the inspector. No one will suspect and no one will ask a thing. But I expect that next time you be more careful, Alfie."

"Tommy will repay you the money you waste on us."

"I don't want it. But if it makes him feel better he can make a donation for the school."

"A donation will be, then. Luv, I was thinking that we can go to a pretty restaurant tonight. There's a kosher one, it's new. Ollie told me that it's quite good."

"Okay."

Alfie kissed her cheek "no matter what you think, I still love you and I'll love you till my last day."

Rose gulped to make disappear the knot in her throat and nodded. Don't cry. Don't cry.

"I know, Alfie."

The man hesitated for a second before putting an arm around her. She was so tense that it felt like moving a piece of furniture to him. For a moment she didn't reciprocate the embrace, but when Alfie moved his body to let her go, her hands grasped to his shirt and hid her face on his shoulder.

"Don't leave me," her voice was broken and the tears she was holding were wetting his chest.

"You know I would never leave you."

"I don't know anything about us anymore, Alfie. But please, don't leave me."

Downstairs, Tommy was smoking. Last thing he wanted was to break the precarious situation the three of them were in. The invitation was on Ada's table when he visited her earlier that week, probably belonged to Ada's roommate. It seemed to be harmless and when he commented it to Alfie, he agreed. There were no places for them to go as couple and for once, it seemed to be a good opportunity, only it wasn't. Homosexual parties weren't uncommon but it was risky. Numerous times, men ended in the gallows thanks to the laws. But that was London and his partner wasn't someone else but Alfie Solomons and he could buy freedom because of money or because of fear.

Tommy didn't dare to see the faces of the other men who were still in the police station, when both of them left the building. How many of them were going to die just because they were experiencing happiness one night in their lives?

Tommy remembered Rose's face when Alfie woke her up at 4am when they arrived at the house. She didn't say a word and to be honest with himself, Tommy never heard her say a lot although it was well known by people around the Solomons, that she was talkative as much as Alfie was. The woman went to her office in the house and made some phonecalls. She had her own people, all women, behind her to protect the school she founded. And those women never hesitate to follow her orders.

Killing the cops was a way to say the rest of the police department that better they keep their tongues tied. Same with the former owner of the newspaper.

Tommy lighted up another cigarette. What was he next to her? Alfie's wife sent three men to hell and a fourth one was threatened, just to protect her husband's name. And his. He was part of the man she married now and Tommy didn't know if she was going to do something like that for him, again

Or how much time Alfie was going to be able to bear with that kind of life. In Tommy's mind, if Alfie was going to choose someone then it was going to be her. But he didn't want that.

.

Allowing Alfie to touch her again, it felt good. Especially because he was sweet with her. Maybe it was true he missed her.

He was on top if her, kissing her neck and stroking her sides. That was the life they deserved to have but after knowing Tommy, after tasting him, she wasn't sure if she was enough for Alfie.

How much self-esteem was a man capable destroy?

Outdoors she fought for women's rights, freedom, fuck the patriarchy, down with men.

Indoors, she was ready to share her husband if that meant to remain on his side. And the only thing she had to sell was her own happiness.

"You promised me a life full of love," she said, later, in his arms. "We were kids. We were in love and I believe you."

"I promised you a lot of things and I'm fulfilling none."

"Not true. You did but I'm not the only one in your heart anymore. It's not your fault that you fell in love with him, too."

Alfie kissed her once again. It wasn't fair for her, among the three of them she was the one who gave in the more.

"I'd give my life to see you smile again, Rosie. My Rosie."

.

"How's she?" Tommy asked when Alfie went downstairs, once his wife finally fall asleep.

"I don't know."

"I did tell you or I didn't that this was going to break her? It was a fucking bad idea from the very beginning."

"What do you want me to tell ya, Tom? Eh? I fucking love you! And it didn't seem that bad the first time to you, not even last night. Fuck off!"

"I love you too, Alfie. I do, but this is not working. Your wife is a ghost of the woman I know she was, you don't know how manage two partners and I-… I feel like a homewrecker."

Alfie sat on his couch and petted Cyril's head who seemed to be the only one happy in that house. "You're not."

"Are you sure?"

"There's a reason I gave you a ring, Tom."

Tommy looked at his hand. It happened around eight months ago. No one were going to notice that he was using another ring, considering he wore several ribgs all the time. They were in bed when Alfie pulled out a little velvet box from the nightstand table and gave it to him. That was the moment Alfie became bigamous. One marriage was legal and open to society, the other no and belonged to the shadows and the solitude of their room.

Only Rose noticed the extra ring, but she didn't say anything. Like it was usual. Tommy too remained silent in several occasions and even Alfie didn't let his mind speak as it was common to him.

In the Solomons-Shelby household, most of the time the only thing that could be heard was the silence.

.

It was midnight that same day when Rose heard noises downstairs, but neither Cyril or Beast were barking, so she asumed the one making noises was Tommy. Rose put her nightgown on and went to the living room, she found Tommy packing.

"To Birmingham?"

"Yes." Tommy looked at her, before closing his suitcase. "Forever."

"You can't."

"Tell me why can't I, Rose. It's my fucking life."

"He loves you."

"No more than he loves you. Let's be honest, Rose, you want me out of your lives." Tommy put his coat on and searched his cigarettes in one of his pockets.

The woman embraced herself and nodded. "I do. But Alfie could be miserable again because no matter what I do for him, I'm not you. I'm not God's best creation, I'm not smart as you are, I don't have your eyes, I can't be all you are even if I reborn a thousand times. He chose you and if roles were reversed, if you were the spouse and me "the other one" I don't think he'd do all the things he did for you."

"Then, you're belittling yourself. Your husband is capable to fight the Devil for you."

"Because I'm his best fr…"

"Because you're his fucking soulmate, Rose!! And that's something I'm never going to be. Don't underestimate yourself anymore, because I know very well the way he talks about you when he's with me and that's something he doesn't do when he's with you… FUCK!" Tommy threw the cigarette on the floor. "Rosie this, Rosie that… and I know he doesn't mention me when you two are together because he doesn't want to hurt you. But he hurts me."

She sat on a chair and looked at him. "I don't think he does that on purpose."

"No, he does not. But he still does it. So, I better leave before it's too late to leave."

"If you go, he'll go after you. He's also your husband, right? The ring. You don't need a legal paper to prove that. Not in front of me."

Tommy shook his head.

"Go to bed," she said. "Tomorrow it'll be a new day."

Rose turned around, not waiting for an answer. She entered the bathroom before returning to bed with Alfie. She stared herself in the mirror. The woman looking at her wasn't the one she knew once. That one was a pathetic version of the woman she used to be proud of.

But she wasn't there to feel even more pathetic. She was there to do something else. Rose looked at the mirror again and she practiced how to smile. For Alfie, she thought, trying once again. And her eyes were filled with sadness, but she kept trying until got a smile like the ones she used to have.

The next morning when Alfie went to the dinning room he found Tommy reading the newspaper, the one under new management, and Rose having her usual breakfast.

"Good morning, Alfie," Tommy said.

Alfie greeted him too and sat next to Rose who was looking at him.

"Like you practice…" the woman thought and gave Alfie her best smile she could. "Morning, Al."

Alfie kissed her forehead. No, she couldn't lie to him, and Alfie felt miserable because he knew she didn't want to smile but was trying to make things easier.

For a moment they shared a normal morning but despite their efforts, the silence return to the house. Except in their own heads.

Alfie overheard the conversation the night before between Tommy and Rose. That wasn't a good life for any of them.

He loved them, but he wasn't selfish, not when it was about love. Alfie made a decision, now he needed to say it, even if his own heart was going to end broken, probably forever.

[boyfridged]

What do you think Jason would feel about mothers? Considering he was betrayed by one and then would have gone on and had figures in his life like a mother.

since someone brought up sheila yesterday, i just remembered that this ask has been stranded in my drafts for a while! sorry.

some loose thoughts on the topic, in a "chronological" order:

in the 80s canon, jay grieves after willis and catherine the same. while it's safe to assume that willis was (physically) more absent, there's not much indication that jay had any parental preference (neither of them really could responsibly parent him anyway.) so i believe in general terms jay doesn't really differentiate much between parental roles (and that's why, subsequently, my answer is more about parents in general rather than just mothers...)

i have a post talking about jason's parental relationship with bruce here but i just want to add that atp we also don't see jason having any specific longing for a figure of a mother. imo the reason he gets obsessed over seeking his biological mother out is that in this particular moment he does not feel secure in his relation with bruce. i think if he found out about a biological father instead, he would also want to find him. what he wants is simply a stable family (<- which he does have in bruce; but does not trust to be able to keep without robin.)

i have mentioned before that it's very important to me that jason most probably forgave sheila. of course, the fact that he tried to save her does not alone confirm it; he would probably do it for anyone, and so it's more of my headcanon, especially since the contemporary canon nearly completely erased her from the narrative up until cheer. but as i said, i prefer to think that he forgave her, as he forgave catherine (if he even ever truly blamed either of them.)

i like to think about his relationship with talia as a parental one too (ignoring the two infamous pages of the lost days), but there's not much canon material, and freshly post-res jason seems fixated on the idea that he is "no one's son." nevertheless, he is also just still a kid when first in her care, and i do think that they could grow into that kind of relationship throughout the years (despite his best efforts to deny himself the comfort of familial connections.)

tbh one of the reasons for which i headcanon that, compared with other kids bruce has taken in, 1. he is the only one who used to call him 'dad' regularly 2. he is the only one who actually settled into a more 'standard' parent-child relationship with him 3. he is the only one who got formally adopted (which "on page" happened only pre-crisis btw), is because jay had a rather traditional expectation of what a bond with a parental figure should look like (and because bruce wanted to overcompensate while working through on jay's attachment issues). the others were either older or did not have a past that conditioned them for such focus on keeping the parent close, so it did not matter much. i think in terms of parental relationships, jason needs to call them by that name and needs formal ways of them being recognized, or at least this is what his abandonment issues call for. at the same time, it also freaks him out because he was a parentified child before and he doesn't think he should need it, so it's a game of pulling closer and pushing away, testing the bonds.

my conclusion is that i don't have much to say about mothers in particular; i think he has plenty conflicting feelings about the parental roles no matter the gender.

[works-of-fanfiction]

Kiss and Make Up || Daniel Ricciardo x Reader

Summary: With the couple on a break, it’s hard for Daniel to see Y/N, especially when she’s looking so good in his favourite dress.

Song: Kiss and Make Up - Dua Lipa & BLACKPINK

Warnings: 18+ oral (f receiving), unprotected sex. A little bit of swearing.

Word Count: 3.6k

a/n: I think (???) I’m getting a little better at writing smut. one day I swear I will write one without giggling after every sentence. enjoy!

Daniel's blood boils as he watches her, watches his girl at the centre of attention of his fellow drivers. He wants to be angry at her for entertaining them in the first place, but he's angrier at his so-called friends for gawking at her and passing off their obvious flirting as 'just being nice'. It's annoying because she knows she looks good - incredible, in fact - an emerald green satin dress hanging perfectly on her body, displaying just enough leg to be considered dangerous. It bothered him even more that he chose that particular dress, and now she was parading around in it for everyone to see; for everyone to stare and drool over her. He didn't like it one bit, but he didn't have a choice. 

It was his fault that they were on a break. He'd lashed out, said horrible things. Tension had been brewing between them for a couple of weeks and she could sense he was about to burst. She hadn't done anything wrong; he could see that now. He'd had more than enough time to sit with his thoughts and come to regret everything he'd said, but she hadn't been interested in hearing his apology. At first, in his anger, he'd blamed her friends. He was convinced their influence had led her to her decision, that they'd been whispering in her ear and plotting against him for some time. However, deep down he knew it was nobody's fault but his own. 

The 'will he, won't he' situation at Alpha Tauri had gotten the best of him. His overwhelming desire to race took up all of his attention, leaving Y/N completely on the sidelines. She'd understood, of course she had. Racing was Daniel's dream and she knew how important it was for him to find a seat and get back out on the track, but when things seemed to get difficult and look uncertain, Daniel directed his frustrations towards her. 

"You're a fucking coward, d'you know that? Who are you to stand here and speak to me like that?" 

"Oh, drop the bigger person act, Y/N. It wasn't too long ago that you were going through a rough time and - " 

"Don't you fucking dare. You know that doesn't compare to the way you've been behaving. It is completely different." 

"You know how important this is to me. Sorry, but I think I'm allowed to be a little stressed." He held his hands up in mock surrender which only irritated her further.

"A little stressed, yes. A total asshole? No." 

"Where are you going?" He asked, watching her scoop up her phone and keys from the counter and stuff them into her pocket.

"Anywhere you are not. I can't be around you when you're like this, Daniel." Her voice cracked as she turned away, but she didn't allow him to see her cry. He may not have approved of her being the bigger person, but it's what she had to do. A text a couple of hours later confirmed her need for space, and after spending thirty straight minutes trying to type a response, Daniel realised he had to respect her wishes.

“Here.” Max interrupts, sliding a drink into Daniel’s hand.

“What’s this?”

“I couldn’t stand and watch you stare at her any longer. At least with a drink in your hand you actually look like you’re at this party and not just a creepy stalker.” He chuckles into his glass, the joke going over Daniel’s head, not even bringing the slightest smirk to his lips.

Max gulps, wincing a little at the strength of his drink. “Just go talk to her.” He says, eyes flicking between his friend and Y/N.

“I can’t. She wants space and I have to respect that.”

“Yeah, but anyone can see you’re not okay with that…”

Daniel knew Max had a point. As much as he wanted to give Y/N the space she needed and do everything he could to fix their relationship, he hated being away from her. He hated sitting across the room whilst she pretended he wasn’t there. She hadn’t looked at him once throughout the entire evening and it was starting to aggravate him. He needed to talk to her, even if it was just to find out how she was doing. He didn’t even know if that was a question he had the right to ask, but he wanted to anyway.

Plus, the way she was strutting around in those heels and playfully fixing her hair every few minutes was driving him insane. His eyes couldn’t resist following the trail from her feet, up her legs and to her hips. If she so much as leaned over the bar or stretched to grab something, he’d see beneath the thin green satin and hopefully find out she was wearing tiny, or perhaps no underwear.

He fidgets uncomfortably in his seat, setting his glass down on the table before his knuckles turn white from gripping it so tightly. As Y/N takes Carlos’ hand and twirls beneath his arm, Daniel jumps up from the stool, holding onto the table to steady his feet. “Hey, come on. You know they’re good friends.” Max warns, holding an arm out to try and stop him.

“Make your mind up, Max. You told me to go and talk to her.” He doesn’t even look at Max as he speaks, as his gaze remains fixed on Y/N whilst she dances with the Ferrari driver. There’s nothing suggestive between their dance, and it’s not the first time Daniel has seen them together like this, but he’s suddenly not as comfortable with it as he usually is.

“I think you should calm down a bit first.” Max tries to be stern with the older driver, but he knows his words are going through one ear and straight out the other side. Daniel glances at the Dutchman and gives only a second of thought to his words, then chooses to ignore them entirely.

Stepping past Max’s arm, he makes his way into the crowd and closer to Y/N. Mid-conversation, Charles and Pierre’s heads turn to the Australian as he weaves around clumsy partygoers, almost parting the room in two to get through. The two of them shuffle closer to the bar to get a better view as he reaches Carlos and places a hand on his shoulder.

“Can I cut in?” He asks, once again not bothering to look at who he’s speaking to. Instead he looks down at Y/N, who glares up at him with cold, unblinking eyes.

“Sure.” Carlos mutters, stepping aside, failing to notice Y/N tightening her grip on his hand to try and stop him. Daniel takes his place, his hands awkwardly hovering near her waist.

“Are you going to wrap your arms around me, or just stand there?” She asks abruptly, her tone coming out a lot more aggressively than she’d intended.

Daniel’s hands find her waist and pull her closer, making sure no one else can hear their conversation. Her hands are pressed against his chest awkwardly, all attention concentrating on her feet so she doesn’t fall.

“What do you want, Daniel?” She sighs, exasperation and downright exhaustion evident in her voice. This makes Daniel’s stomach turn and part of him wants to fall to the ground and beg for her forgiveness. He never thought he’d see the day when he’d be the one to make her feel like this. She was disappointed in him, and he was kicking himself for ever uttering a bad word to her.

“I need to apologise - “

“No, you just needed to get me on my own away from the guys.”

Her icy tone catches him off guard, but he feels he deserves it. As much as he’s desperate to finally apologise, he can’t deny that seeing her spending her night with everyone but him was making him jealous. He’d watched her friendships with the drivers blossom over time, especially Carlos and Lance, yet seeing their arms around her and smiles aimed in her direction tonight drove him crazy.

“Am I wrong?” She mocks, reluctantly wrapping her arms around his neck for the sake of her own comfort.

Daniel chooses not to answer, which is an answer in itself. She sniggers, looking off to the side to see the group all engaged in conversation with one another. She knows they’re all putting on an act and pretending not to eavesdrop. Those drivers love a gossip just as much as the next person.

“I don’t like seeing you with them.” Daniel finally admits, his voice low. He doesn’t intend for the entire grid to know his business.

“It’s never bothered you before.”

“Well this time is different.”

“How?”

“Because you’re not speaking to me.”

“And whose fault is that?”

Silence falls between the couple, Y/N’s hold around Daniel’s neck loosening. He reaches up and grabs her hands, readjusting them and holding her wrists tightly. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” She asks, glaring up at him, a devious smile poking at her lips.

“Don’t try to walk away from me.” He lets go of her arms, letting them float down to her sides as he leans in close, lips pressed against her ear. “Especially not when you’re dressed like that.”

She scoffs, rolling her eyes at his words. A poor and sorry attempt at winning her back, yet completely expected from Daniel. “You think sex is going to fix this?”

“Who said anything about sex?” He plays dumb but she sees straight through him. That had always been a thing in their relationship; they were both terrible liars, or rather couldn’t lie to each other as the other could always spot it.

Stepping back, she calls over to Kika who’s stood between Pierre and Charles, tracing circles around the rim of her glass. “Bathroom.” She smiles and Kika nods, slipping away from the table.

Daniel sees this and steps forward, blocking Kika’s path. “Actually, she doesn’t need you to go with her.”

“Daniel - “ Y/N snaps, cut off by his arm linking with hers and pulling her in the direction of the bathrooms.

“Come on.” He barges through the doors, squeezing the two of them into the first stall and turning the lock.

“I can’t believe you just spoke to Kika like that.” She whispers angrily, yanking her arm out of his grasp.

“She’ll get over it.”

“Pierre won’t.”

Y/N folds her arms over her chest, leaning against the flimsy cubicle as Daniel’s eyes wander around the small space. She sighs, heels scraping against the ground as she stands back up straight. “Well you got me here. What do you want?”

“You know what I want.”

“Actually, I don’t. Did you bring me in here to apologise… or was there something else?” There’s a shift in her tone and a look in her eye that Daniel instantly recognises. He knows she’s still angry at him, but sees there’s a part of her that wants him just as much as he wants her.

Sparing her a proper response, he slips a knee between her legs and pushes her against the wall. It shakes a little, encouraging a small smile to appear on her face. “You disappoint me, Ricciardo.” She purrs, running a perfectly manicured finger across his jaw.

“Something tells me you’re not so disappointed.” He grinds his knee upwards, pressing it against her clothed pussy. She groans, body slumping forward in pleasure. He catches her with his chest, pushing her back up, keeping her upright against the wall. “Does that sound like the moans of a disappointed woman?”

“Shut up.” She hisses, delicate fingers wrapping around his throat to pull him in for a kiss. Daniel moans, the sound strangled as her nails dig into his neck. The kiss is entirely in her control as she holds him in place, squeezing his throat just enough to make his breath hitch. She draws back, sucking his tongue between her lips and letting it go with a quiet popping sound.

“If we do this, it doesn’t magically fix anything.” She breathes, releasing her grip on him to rest her hand on his chest.

Daniel is smart enough to know better, and knows that hasty sex in a bathroom stall isn’t going to mend all of their problems, but he’s too turned on and fuelled by liquid courage to care. Running his hand over the top of hers, he links their fingers and flips her around to face the wall, pressing her palm flat against the cold wood. She yelps in surprise as he uses his free hand to hike her dress up. He’s delighted to see the black lace that’s barely covering her, and he hooks his forefinger through the waistband to pull her ass towards him. “Planned on getting lucky tonight, huh?” He taunts, his fingers tracing the patterns in the lace.

“I was hoping one of the guys would take me home.” She quips sarcastically, bending over more and grinding her ass against his hand. Daniel groans, letting go of her hand so he can use both freely. He grabs her ass and spreads her legs, his mouth falling open at the sight of her pussy peeking through her underwear.

Wasting no time, he drops to his knees and pushes the thin string to the side, giving him full access to the part of her he needs the most. Feeling his hot breath against her exposed cunt, she gasps, parting her legs even further. “That’s it.” Daniel hums, taking his middle finger and running it slowly through her folds. Y/N’s legs quiver as he touches her, barely inserting a finger as he concentrates on circling her pussy and feeling just how soaked she is. His finger eventually finds its way to her clit, flicking gently against the swollen bud, making her whole body twitch with arousal.

She moans his name, the word elongated on her tongue. He stops for a second, lying his hand flat against her core. “Shh… You don’t want people hearing us now, do you?” He whispers.

Squeezing her eyes shut and biting her lip to suppress any further sounds, Y/N nudges Daniel with her leg, urging him to continue. Instead, he grabs her thighs and pulls her closer to him, her feet sliding along the slippery tiled floor. “Let me taste you, baby.” The sound of his voice disappears between her legs, her thighs almost cupping his cheeks as he finds her clit with his tongue. The tip of his tongue swipes across her clit, slowly then repetitively in a rhythm. His hands hold onto her thighs tightly, his fingers leaving indentations in the supple skin.

Y/N sinks her teeth into the back of her hand, trying her best to stay quiet. Saliva and bite marks cover the spot just above her wrist whilst Daniel buries his head further and laps up her pussy like a starving animal. His nose pokes between her folds, and the newfound friction elicits a heavy exhale from deep within her chest.

Desperate to keep that nose she loves so much as close to her as possible, she reaches behind to grab Daniel’s head and guide him to the perfect spot. Fingers tangling in his hair and clutching at the roots, she rides his face, relishing in the feeling of his tongue flat against her clit, and the tip of his nose pressing into her. Daniel holds his breath as she ruts her hips against his face, gripping her thighs until it hurts. She winces, tensing the muscles as she rests her forehead against the wall, teeth still gnawing on her hand. He grunts, the sound sending a vibration to her clit and throughout her entire body, making her knees buckle beneath her. He catches her, supporting her body with his hands alone as he delves his face deeper to suck her clit into his mouth.

Losing all sense of caring, Y/N lets her hand fall free from her lips, releasing a stifled moan that echoes around the bathroom stall. Her thighs squeeze together involuntarily as she comes, and Daniel has to prize them open to set himself free. He stands, hands fumbling with his jeans as he sloppily lays kisses on the back of her shoulder, his chin still slick with moisture, so much so that Y/N can smell her own scent filling the air.

“What did I tell you about staying quiet?” Daniel whispers, his lips barely touching the back of her ear.

“I’m sort of sick of you telling me what to do.” She retorts, attempting to hide the shakiness in her voice. Daniel rolls his eyes, trying to ignore her words as he pushes his jeans and boxers down his legs, leaving them bunched around his ankles. He knows she’s not just talking about the present, but he’s too desperate to feel her wrapped around his cock to let it bother him. He hasn’t been able to touch her for weeks, and seeing her spread wide for him like this is enough to almost push him to the edge already.

Hands gripping her dress around her waist, he pulls her towards him, sliding his cock inside her effortlessly. Mutual gasps of pleasure and hissed curse words slip off of their tongues as he bottoms out inside of her, his clammy hands losing grip of the satin. Reaching round to grab her arms, he crosses her wrists and holds them behind her back, forcing her cheek against the wall to support her upper body. There’s an aggression to his actions, one hand holding her wrists and another snaking its way into her hair. Tugging her head back, he leans forward, his face beside hers. She looks at him through her peripheral vision, a smug smile on her face as she notices his slack jaw and half-lidded eyes. Daniel was never truly in control when it came to Y/N. The effect she had on him was dangerous and made him want to do things unimaginable. All she had to do was look at him a certain way and he’d literally and figuratively drop to his knees for her.

Daniel’s slow thrusts tell her that he doesn’t plan on lasting very long. Despite his tight hold on her and rough fingers in her hair, his hips roll in leisurely circles, the tip of his cock stroking her g-spot in a deliciously torturous rhythm. The restroom door creaks, a collection of footsteps clattering along the floor outside. With shadows passing the stall and voices filling the space, Daniel drops his hand from Y/N’s hair, instead using it to cover her mouth and keep her quiet. She tilts her head, sucking his forefinger into her mouth, her tongue wet and warm and making Daniel’s cock twinge inside of her. He moans, trying to swallow the sound so nobody will hear.

Daniel’s wet finger trails out of her mouth and down her neck, drawing a line of her own saliva along her throat. Wrapping his arm across her upper body, he holds her close as he fucks her, the heat between them making his shirt stick to his chest. Beads of sweat run down the back of Y/N’s neck and under her dress. Even beneath the harsh bathroom lighting, her skin glistens and looks good enough for Daniel to taste, to lick clean.

Voices gather at the sinks, water running and paper towels unravelling from the holders. Daniel silently prays for them to hurry up and leave, the feeling of Y/N’s pussy clenching around his dick becoming too much to bear. The muffled sounds of the music outside briefly fill the room, before disappearing behind the door. He releases his breath with a long groan, his body slumping against hers. “Finally.” He hisses, stepping back and pulling her ass with him, bending her into a perfect L-shape.

Relieved to be alone again, their pants and moans circle around the stall as Daniel drives his hips back and forth, quickening the pace. His firm grip on her ass cheeks leaves little white outlines around his fingers as he coaxes himself to climax. Hearing the sweet sounds coming from her mouth sends him over the edge, his thighs stiffening as he comes inside her, his body jolting forward in ecstasy. She straightens, resting her body against the wall with Daniel pressed against her back, his sweaty forehead slumped onto her shoulder. He pulls out with a huff, his cock leaking with cum and legs feeling sore.

Y/N readjusts and pulls her dress down, smirking to herself as she feels cum drip out of her and pool inside her underwear. She runs her hands through her hair, hoping she looks presentable as she turns to face Daniel. He zips his jeans and smiles at her, but doesn’t earn a smile back. “I told you, this doesn’t change anything.” She states flatly, reaching for the lock. He stops her, taking her hand in his.

“Come home with me.” He pleads, running his thumb softly over her knuckles, a stark contrast to the way he’d touched her just a few minutes prior.

“You’re kidding, right?”

Daniel’s expression remains serious. He opens his mouth to repeat himself, but she cuts him off with a defeated sigh. “Fine. But we leave now. I don’t need to be dealing with questions.”

“Deal.” He smiles, earning an eye roll from her as she unlocks the door and heads out, her heels clicking against the tile. He follows close behind, the satisfied grin never leaving his face.

[signedeclipse]

r u taking requests 🥲? if u are can I ask for headcannons on muichiro, obanai, giyuu and shinobu x reader on what they would do if the reader is really tired and a huge sleepy head in general it would be so cute <333

Giyuu | Muichiro | Obanai | Shinobu [X Reader]

In which their s/o is always exhausted and has a hard time staying awake.

Giyuu

He himself was never a very high energy or high demand individual

But next to you, he looked like a kid during their first sugar rush

You were always either leaning him or tucked away on the most comfortable surface nearby, dozing off

No, you weren't apart of the corps, so he didn't have any reason to force you up

You had your own job and you did it when you had to, and when he was away he would always come back to a clean house with all the chores done, along with you napping in bed

To be fair, Giyuu just assumes this is normal

I mean, he would do the same if he could, but he had a lot of duties and training to tend to

He loves cuddling up with you though, you keep the bed nice and warm for him

Muichiro

Muichiro isn't really sleepy, but he does gaze off extremely often

You are both totally lost together, because he just found out the wind makes noise and you were half asleep on the floor

If you were in the corps, you'd never be sent on missions together because somehow together the effects are worse on one another

You do get your missions done when together, it just means less details are remembered and those can be extremely vital

When home, Muichiro makes you lay your head in his lap wherever he goes- usually outside- while he stares at something of interest and just thinks

One thing he does often is speak his thoughts out loud around you, because he knows you won't take it too seriously or make fun of the nonsensical things he comes up with

Sometimes he just stares at you, and wonders what you're dreaming about

When you wake up he tries to guess, he is only getting more accurate!

Obanai

It's not that he is very energetic, but Obanai likes to do small, menial tasks to keep himself occupied

It might be tending to Kaburamaru, small exercises, or renewing his bandages

He refuses to sit down, and even if he does, he will be working on polishing his blade, or eating a meal

For this, he makes you move a lot to wherever he is if he is home

Sleeping is something you do a lot, he knows you're always tired if you don't, so he doesn't want to force you awake or make you feel bad for it

Instead he just wants you to follow him when he moved to another area, and you can sleep there until he moves on again

It keeps you somewhat active, but also brings him comfort in knowing you'll still be there, even if silent and often unmoving

Shinobu

You were very comfortable to be around considering you were mostly silent or spoke in a melancholic tone

Since she was always studying or tending to others, it helped her plenty having someone like that around

Someone who would watch over her and encourage her to be productive while not distracting her from her work too much

But as a doctor, she also understood that if you stayed still in the comfort of the mansion too often, you might become deficient in important vitamins

" You have to go outside once a day, dear! It's not good for you to stay like this all day! "

She says it like it's fact, and she's probably right

So long as you go out once a day for a small walk she is happy

Set up a hammock on the porch of the butterfly mansion where you can sleep in the sun rays, so you get all the vitamins you need even while asleep

If she has a young slayer alone in any of the healing wards, she will ask you to sleep there so they feel better with company

Even if you are tired, she knows you'll get up to help someone who might need something or is becoming ill

Authors Note - Me too reader I love sleepin,,, I hope I was able to right up to your wishes, and thank you so much for requesting! This was pretty much all my most favourite hashira lol

[mustainegf]

Anniversary date with Cliff turns into him proposing… which revealed that you were going to do the same

Fluff ofc 🙏

AWWWW THIS IS SO ADORABLE

Somewhat of a Drabble, so it’s not too too long

𝟐 𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ¹⁹⁸⁵

It was our 3 year anniversary and Cliff had surprised me with a nice dinner at this beautiful restaurant with a view overlooking the ocean. It was one of those places where you dress up and pretend you're someone important. Cliff and I loved to do that.

Even though we weren't rich and we didn't have fancy cars or a big house, we still liked to go out and feel like royalty for a night. I glanced over the table at Cliff as he finished his food. God, he was pretty.

His calm eyes, long hazel hair, short moustache, his freckled cheeks.

I could stare at him all day. He seemed to sense my gaze on him and he turned to me, a small smile on his face.

"You alright?" he asked softly, cocking his head to the side in concern. I nodded, still smiling, but not wanting to say too much. Instead I blushed and looked down at my plate.

I wasn't good at talking about how I felt. But it didn't matter because I knew he understood me without having to speak. I was nervous, nervous for what I planned to do later.

Something women weren't really supposed to do, but I had already decided. I wanted the rest of my life with cliff.

Once we finished up our food, a grin grew on his face. "Lets get outta here, I've got a surprise for you," he took my hand, helping me slide out of the booth.

I placed my hands on top of my dress as we made our way outside. The sun was setting behind us and the moon was rising above the ocean. We strolled along the shore line for a while before reaching a pier.

Cliff took my hand, leaning down to kiss my cheek, like he always did. He was much taller than me.

"Cliff, honey, this is beautiful," I smile, slipping off my heels as we reached the sand.

"Almost is beautiful as this view," he snickered, running his hands over my figure.

I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck, pressing my lips against his. The soft caress of his lips was familiar and comforting. I sighed, resting my forehead against his. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," I replied, peering up at him. He took my hands once more, leading me down to the damp shore, icy cold waves lapping at our ankles.

We walked in silence for a little while, watching the ocean waves crash onto the shoreline, the sea foam splashing onto the ground. "I've got something I want to show you," Cliff said.

"What is it?" I ask, linking my arm through his as we continue walking. He stopped us, turning to me, grabbing my other arm as well. "Well, its kind of hard to explain."

I smiled, tilting my head to the side, waiting for him to go on. He exhaled, nervously raking his fingers through his long hair, his lips twitching, and he began, "The thing is..."

he trailed off, scratching the back of his neck and his forehead furrowed. He started again, "You see, you mean everything to me." I narrowed my eyes, wondering if he was just saying that to butter me up.

He continued, "The point is... I'm happy with you, and only you. You're my best friend, my favourite person, the person I want to be with forever. "

My heart fluttered as I stared into his green eyes, so full of emotion and love. My throat tightened, my eyes began to tear up. "Cliff," I croaked out, unable to form any words as tears streamed down my face.

"Oh, stop it, come on, don't cry," he chuckled, wiping away the tears on my cheeks. I couldn't stop myself from crying. Cliff was such a sweetheart.

He began to rummage in his pockets, looking exceptionally nervous.

"Honestly, I'm nervous to do this," he mumbled, pulling a box out of his pocket. "Here," he shoved the ring box into my hand, swallowing roughly. He smiled as my jaw fell to the sand below us.

I popped the lid open, gasping at the stunning diamond ring inside. Tears continued to fall as I ran my hand over the smooth stone. Ilooked up at Cliff, his eyes wide with hope. "Yes! Yes!"

I yelled, burying my face in his chest as I hugged him tightly. Cliff kissed me passionately, his large hands running up and down my back.

"Cliff, you're joking.." I laugh through my cries, plunging my hand into my small bag, pulling out a similar box Id prepared to give to him.

"You're kidding!" He laughs with me, holding my hands with the box and opening it up.

He stared at the silvery wedding band, clenching his eyes shut as he fell back into a hug.

I had never seen him smile so big. He stood up straight, looking down at me, his eyebrows raised, his mouth agape, as he took the black velvet box from my shaking hands.

"I love you more than anything.." he whispered onto my lips, kissing me again.

[shinestarhwaa]

DAD!ATEEZ REACTION TO THEIR KID COMING OUT

Sorry I made these a little more specified some may have wanted to, but otherwise it'd be hard to write 8 different ones lol, so I made lil scenarios x

Hongjoong

''You have a boyfriend?'' Hongjoong asked with wide eyes. He stared at his son in disbelief. He was quite the typical 'straight' man, he hadn't ever noticed any signs before, but now that his son told him he was gay everything seemed to fall into place.

''I do, dad, I... I am gay. Like really, really gay,'' the son stammered. Hongjoong smiled and placed his hand on his son's. ''I cannot wait to meet him, kid.''

Seonghwa

Seonghwa teared up as he looked at his son, sitting before him. ''Dad, are you disappointed in me now that I've told you I'm gay?'' His son looked down and hid his tears. Seonghwa gasped and immediately shook his head.

''No, no I could never be, I'm just sorry you've had to struggle with this on your own for so long. No, I'll always love you, no matter who you love, I am here.''

Yunho

''Bisexual, huh? So you play for both teams?'' His casual comment startled his daughter, who was fidgeting with her jewelry nervously. ''Y-Yeah well, I guess so.''

''Cool, do you have a girl you like then? Is that why you joined the football team?'' All night long he asked so many questions out of love and interest, making sure she felt loved and understood.

Yeosang

''Wow, I had never... expected you to be a lesbian, sweetheart... This definitely surprises me a little,'' Yeosang said as he took in what his daughter just told him. ''I-I'm sorry daddy-''

''No, no, I am not mad... It's just unexpected,'' he said as a smile formed on his lips. ''Thank you for trusting me and telling me about it, love,'' he says as he kisses her forehead.

San

His son was in tears as he told him he was gay. ''Can you still love me?'' he had asked, body trembling because of the anxiety. San sighed and patted his head.

''Son, you know I'll love you no matter what. It's important that you are happy, and I don't care if that's with a man or a woman. Plus, I totally saw you kissing your friend on the porch so it's not that big of a surprise,'' he smiles as he pulls him in for a hug.

Mingi

''So...Pansexual? What does that mean?'' Mingi asked, curious after his daughter just came out. ''I am basically just... attracted to any... person, any gender, I don't care at all,'' his daughter said with a smile, happy her father took interest in it.

''Okay. That's cool, that's quite romantic actually,'' he grinned. He didn't make a big deal about it or anything and just let everyone get on with their day peacefully.

Wooyoung

''Sweetie, why are you crying? You know you don't have to be afraid to tell me anything... I understand it's scary to come out but you know I love you regardless of your sexuality... You're my one and only angel,'' he spoke with his sweetest voice.

For the coming weeks he'd never leave her side, making her feel loved and treating her like a real princess. ''So when are you going to let me meet your girlfriend, sweetie? I'll make sure to cook a delicious dinner.''

Jongho

''Son, listen to me,'' Jongho said as his son just confessed his bisexuality, shuddering in fear of his reaction. ''No one could ever take my love away from you, you are my son, I love you and I live for you, that's a given. Nothing is ever going to stop that.''

''I promise I'm still the same person, dad,'' he said as he cried in Jongho's arms. ''I know you are, you are my favourite boy, you're smart, sweet and talented and whoever you love does not matter to me, okay?''

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @star1117-archives @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @lemonhongjoong @babesindestroyland @changbinslovelylegs

[olichat-reads]

Say it

Bakugou x reader

Summary: Bakugou tells you he loves you

A/n: ugh the pacing is all over the place & its driving me MAD but i'm stumped on how to fix it so here you go (ノ ˘_˘)ノalso i'm realizing the common theme of hurt/comfort in almost all my wips & *cries*. established relationship.

🌟

The first time he said it, it brought you to tears.

Your entire body stiffened & you froze like you got shot, eyes wide as you stared at him. You barely registered the embarassed look on his face, how his face flushed & his ears turned pink. Everything seem to fade out, except for those words echoing in your ears.

"Oi, say som- are you crying??"

You blinked at that, only then realising your dampened cheeks.

Oh. You were crying, huh.

"S-sorry. I-i just-" you could barely choke the words out, your hands making useless attempts at wiping away the tears that wouldn't stop flowing. Damnit. Stop crying. The last thing you wanted was for Bakugou to associate his verbal affirmation of love with making you cry. Your tear ducts ain't listening though, so you resorted to hiding your face in your hands, sniffling while you collect yourself.

"Oi."

You heard Bakugou mutter, tone softer this time, before you felt his large hands curl around your wrists to gently pull your hands from your face.

"Look at me," he said in that soft tone that you couldn't help but cave into. "Please."

You forced your big wet eyes to meet his worried vermillion ones. His expression soft, a ghost of a smile lingering on his lips.

"Hey, pretty," he whispered adoringly.

You cracked a smile at that, your boyfriend's face mirroring your own. His big thumbs wiping your wet cheeks.

"What happened?"

"Oh g-god, Katsu, its not you. I just had such a shitty d-day. Everything went wrong & i felt s-so worthless & my head got so lo-loud & i just-" you blurted out, harshly rubbing your eyes, before meeting his unwavering gaze again.

"I just really needed to hear that," you sniffed. "Love you, Katsu."

"I didn't realize it was so important to you," he said, carefully tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ears before his brows furrow in slight concern. "Did it bother you that i've never said it before?"

"Nah. I knew you loved me. You say it in so many other ways," you mummured, smiling up shyly at you boyfriend whose face softened into relief & adoration at your words. Carefully & gently he wraps his arms around your small frame & engulfed you in a hug.

"Its just nice to hear you say it i guess," you mummured into his shirt as you nuzzled your face into his chest.

"Thank you."

Those two words is all he says, but you understood. Able to discern the relief & genuine gratitude in his voice.

Thank you for listening to all the silent 'i love yous' he didn't put into words.

When his hand always reaches out to wordlessly ruffle your head whenever he passes by your desk in class, making you squeak out indignantly for messing up your hair. When he sneaks his eggrolls onto your plate during dinner because he knew they were your favourite from the happy wiggle you did in you seat. When he sits at the other end of the bus during school trips but slips one of his earbuds into your hand for you to listen to the shared playlist he made of a mixture both your favourite songs.

They were all little things he did whilst barely sparing you a glance, much less a word. Sometimes he worries his feelings don't come across. That he's doing too little, his actions too subtle & miniscule to convey the depth of what he felt for you. Yet, each time he'd always catch the small smile on your face, something shy & bashful & full of adoration that reached your eyes. He'd watch that little smile reserved only for him & he knows he's doing something right.

Words have never been easy for Bakugou. But realizing you've heard him all this time when he didn't say a word, felt the affection he tried to convey in his awkward actions, he decided it didn't matter how it came out.

You'd understand what he meant despite however clumsily he said it either way.

"I really love you, idiot."

[somedayillbepeterpan]

For Bonus Polinweek Day 5 | Favourite hand scene + Nicola appreciation Day | The Marie Claire AU shoot (sorry if the edit is not good and it has no music. Just think of this as a photo carousel)

I start this appreciation post for this goddess by saying that I hope that every person who deemed it right to ignore her in her 20's are eating glass right now for not giving her the opportunity to shine back then. I could have had Nicola a long long time ago but these clowns kept her from me.

I never expected myself to be this addicted to Polin but I got to say that it really all started with Nicola. S2 brought my attention to Pen because she was sooo messy in that season but I loved how Nicola played that dichotomy. And I really really wanted to know what Pen said to Colin after that awful line.

This led me to the book, to the countless fanfics, to falling in love with the characters, to admiring the actors. I was so excited for Polin season but I did not realise the intense chemistry Nic and Luke had until the press tour started in my backyard, Bowral, Australia. I always thought that they looked great together but that day, when I saw the photos and the clip where Luke showed his tank top to Nicola changed me and I haven't had a proper sleep since.

But this is an appreciation for Nicola so I'll keep my mouth shut about Lukola/Polin 😂

There are only a few actresses that I am dedicated to (meaning, I have seen and supported most of their work). I tend to be picky with the actors I support and I focus on the ones who can successfully disappear in their roles making the character iconic instead of the other way around (think of the reason why some actors become typecasted). I see this so clearly in Nicola and it's why I have rewatched most of her work (honestly, how iconic can you get when most of your work are easily re-watchable?). I see the character and the work that Nicola has put into it. She makes character journals for all the roles that she plays and if that is not dedication, I don't know what else to call it.

For the first time in my life, I bought a fashion magazine so I can have these deliciously gorgeous photos of Nicola. I like fashion in a way that I like looking at aesthetically beautiful things but I would not spend any money on that. But, I bought the Marie Claire AU because I loved this cover shoot. I especially love what Nicola says in the interview: "It is important for people to know I wasn't an overnight success."

She is soul-stirringly beautiful to me. I legitimately always have goosebumps whenever I see a photo of her. I've posted it here before that I genuinely question my sexuality whenever I look at an image or video of her.

Am I just projecting my desire to get over my insecurity over my body on her? Definitely. I cannot even begin to describe the confidence that I feel about myself now because of the mirror scene. I know Nicola doesn't explicitly accept her being a representation of full bodied women but it is her portrayal of Pen in S3 that I finally understood what media representation meant for the first time in my life.

Have I rambled on too much? I will for this woman because there are endless things that I love about her.

I hope she's happy. I hope she is able to rest. And I hope that even more of her dreams come true 🥰

[a-bisexual-panicking]

I've seen a couple of posts about Aziraphale lately that were "anti-Aziraphale" or "pro-Aziraphale" and I just wanted to join the conversation: it's ok if you don't like a character. What isn't ok is that you start victim-blaming or ignoring a lot of things that he has done through the series just to prove that he is "bad" (considering also the fact the the entire show is based on the fact that good and bad aren't perfectly defined boxes). I like Aziraphale. He's not my favourite character but I like him. And I admit that he has done some bad things. I also like Crowley, he is my favourite character, I relate to him deeply and I would fight any of his haters with a stick, but I also admit that he has done some bad things too. What happened in the Final Fifteen (and almost all the bad things that happened between them) was because of the lack of communication between the two, which is both Aziraphale and Crowley's fault. Aziraphale was saying "we can be together and safe if we go to heaven, and I'd rather leave Earth and its pretty things just for you to be safe", Crowley understood "I choose heaven over you". Crowley was saying "you can't leave me", Aziraphale understood "I choose Earth over you". It's all the "your exactly is a different exactly" thing. And (this is the best part) it's just my opinion, and you are free to agree or disagree. It's ok to have theories, but it's important to respect the character and everyone who relates to him. I've seen episodes of victim-blaming, people who accused Aziraphale of not having religious trauma, ableism, and an awful lot of more. It's ok to dislike a character, it's not ok to use it as a way to insult real people.

[kxzush1]

Sobbing quietly

pairing: Charles Leclerc x Y/N (childhood friends)

summary: Y/N and Charles are childhood friends and they share their trauma of losing people they love.

warning: angst.

note: changed Charles's and Charlote's dating timeline a bit.

Y/N and Charles are childhood friends. Y/N moved to Monaco with their parents when they were a kid. They started karting and met Charles, Esteban, Pierre and Anthoine. They became friends off the track quickly, and rivals on the track quickly.

As Y/N's parents weren't always the best, they often would spend time with Charles. Hanging around his house, spending time with Charles, even with his parents, as they would take care of them like Y/N's their kid. They also met Jules. Jules Bianchi. One of their favourite people beside Charles. He made Y/N laugh a lot, and they made many memories. But then he crashed. And they said he was in a coma. They went to visit him in October with Charles. And they cried a lot. But they said he could get better. So Y/N was a bit happier. A few months later, it was not so good, and then- and then..

Jules died. It was night. Y/N was over at Charles's. They woke up in the middle of the night, hearing some noise from downstairs. They saw Lorenzo. He didn't look good. And then they told Y/N.

"Y/N please tell him.. I don't think I can bring myself to." Lorenzo whispered. They sobbed quietly, leaning there against the couch, sitting on the floor. Their hands covering her face.

"I- I don't know if I can either, please.." Y/N whispered back, but then they heard those steps. Y/N recognised them. Those light steps, they were his. Y/N looked up, saw him walking down those steps, rubbing his eyes.

"Y/N.." he mumbled, almost like he was searching for them. Then he looked at the people before him. He looked at Y/N. Their eyes met. It was like Y/N told him wordlessly.

"Charles.. Jules just died." Y/N whispered, wiping their tears away. And Charles just stared, and he couldn't bring himself to cry. But Y/N understood. Standing up, Y/N walked up the stairs, took his hand and led him back to his room. They laid down and Y/N pulled him closer. And then he cried. Only in their arms. On the bed, and then at the funeral.

Y/N was a talented driver, a very talented one. Stepping into Formula 2 a year earlier than Charles, in 2016, they didn't win the championship in the first year, nor the second one, but that one, they didn't mind it. Because that year, it was different.

The year ended in tears,not in those of joy, but in those of sadness. Hervé died. Charles was almost broken, almost. But he stayed strong, became the strongest he could and won the championship. That was the one thing Y/N couldn't bring herself to do. They were battling for the championship too. But when Y/N saw their 'almost dad' passing, they couldn't bring themself to make it. Or maybe, Y/N let Charles win.

'I went to congratulate Charles. I think. I don't know for sure. The only thing I remember was the fact that I had so many tears in my eyes, I almost couldn't see. It was almost as if I was under water. I couldn't hear who was talking to me. But, then my vision finally cleared, and I saw Charles. It made me cry even more. I got one look from him and it was like we knew what we wanted to say to each other in that moment. Yes, maybe he beated me in that championship, but that was the last thing important from that day.'

-An excerpt from Y/N's book: 'A way down'

They both got into F1 then. Charles in Alfa Romeo, and Y/N in McLaren. They both were happy, nervous, excited, still sad. But they were still kids in that time. The first year was fine, the next year, he got a girlfriend, Charlotte. Y/N was friends with her. Charles looked happier, and Kate was there for it. They both focused on their carreers. Y/N was succesful. The McLaren car suited them. They had a good rookie year. And Y/N was a bit happier again. The next year, not so good. Having issues with their car, but trying their best.

August 2019. Formula 2.  The crash of Anthoine. That shook Y/N. It took them one lap at the track to know that they couldn't. But Charles won. And they was proud.

"How was the funeral there, If I may ask?" 

"It was.. I mean it was bad. I wasn't doing good. And not just because of the death, but because I knew that my career was getting bad. And then, seeing that we all were there for it, I mean it kinda reunited us. I mean, Pierre and Esteban, mostly. Of course Charles was there too, but I always talked to him a lot. But it felt like I've lost those other two friends when we joined Formula 1.

Anyway, it was also the moment of.. realisation I think? Like I remembered all the losses at that moment standing there and it dawned on me. And from that moment, it got bad."

-Y/N being interviewed on the 'High performance' podcast.

It was kind of expected. Y/N was failing the last of the season, either crashing or just retiring from races. They couldn't handle all of it anymore. Then lockdown came, and Y/N announced retiring from Formula 1. Y/N took care of themself and post-breakup Charles. He was sad a lot, but he was streaming a lot too. They moved in with him. It was his idea. He saw Y/N sad and wanted to help them. So as they held him in their arms throoughout life, he returned the favour, at least slightly.

They talked a lot, hugged a lot, laughed a lot and cried a lot. It was needed after all those years. Spent holidays together at home, enjoying each other. And then they realised how in love with each other they've always been.

BREAKING: Y/N APPEARS WITH CHARLES ON THE SUZUKA CIRCUIT TO WALK THROUGH THE CIRCUIT AND PUT FLOWERS ON THE DUNLOP CURVE, TURN SEVEN, REMEMBERING JULES BIANCHIS, CHARLES'S GODFATHERS CRASH.

BREAKING: CHARLES AND Y/N REVEAL THEIR ONGOING LOVE RELATIONSHIP THAT STARTED IN 2020.

[panimoonchild]

Music is not beyond politics

I was planning to write this post yesterday. But I felt another wave of emptiness because of the hypocrisy of the world. So here we are now again...

Ukrainians screamed that she was a Russian-Israeli representative from the start.

I watched some reactions and...

Double kill. She is everywhere🙄🤷

That speaks volumes.

But he never apologized to us about interaction with russians🤷

That situation was one of many reasons why I am sick and tired of the hypocrisy of Eurovision, of the hypocrisy of the world.

When I was 14 and russia occupied my hometown the world was silently watching. Now I see how the world can be united.

a hypocrite shouts no to war)

During the Eurovision Song Contest 2023, he supported Ukraine and then abruptly started kissing the gums with the not all russians the same)

before going on stage, he shot a video with an Israeli woman, saw that the fans covered him with dicks, and ran to "no to war") how does he sit on two chairs?)

It's unbelievable how SICK I am of these guys who try to be neutral, but not by shut up, but by saying "well, I'm for everyone, I'm not against anyone, I'm just against the war 🥺"

Amen. That's easy enough to do but no ... stupid people always dare to speak.

OK, enough about them. Let's talk about our representatives.

I'm late to the party. But this post was for yesterday in my mind.

Maybe I'm biased but I see us in top 5. I think we definitely deserve it.

Now I want to share my favourite reactions. Where people understand our message, visuals, outfits etc. For me especially was important scene where Jerry are climbing and behind her phosphorus bombs. Those people who realized what it represents.

That intelligent man realized what that represents. At the moment "My prayers are with you, Ukraine" I almost got goosebumps. I love honest reactions from people who truly mean what they say.

And the end when the audience was shown I very appreciated his comment: "He looks so unimpressed. You gotta clap my guy. You are in the audience, you don't support anyone. They performed for you, you meant clap. Why do you sit with an angry face? Why are you going there in the first place? I got chills towards the end, and that guy kinda ruined it with his face".

Give him some love🫂

That Filipino also warms my heart. And his comments:

- She actually looks like a warrior ready for a battle, to defend her country.

❗- It actually sounds like a prayer to be. It sounds like a sincere prayer to be.

I literally got chills when he said it.

- We all know what Ukraine is going through. But that song speaks volumes about Ukraine itself.❤️‍🩹🫂

And the last one who understood that's missiles.

God, when will I ever experience anything remotely like the delight I experienced with THIS again?

Yes, those times they have charisma, stage presence, attitude, voice, sound, lyrics.

I think this year all of that + staging and message have Ukrainian representatives.

I will watch Eurovision finale. So I hope justice will prevail and fucking Russian-Israeli doesn't got more points than us. But I feel that can be a case...

[lunastorm13]

The other morning I was resetting my classroom bookshelf because the kids had left it a mess when putting their books away the day before. One of the kids was sitting on the couch beside the bookshelf watching me and chatting. Part of this process includes setting up a small display of books on the top. I was searching for particular books to put on the display and the kid asked me about why I wanted those particular books and not a different one instead.

So I got to have a conversation with them about how it's Pride Month and I think it's important to have books about that because people need them. They made the connection that it's important for kids to have access to books like this in case they have family like their dad that "don't really like or understand" LGBT+ things so that they know that being LGBT+ is okay. I shared back that I think it's also important to have books like these for kids and all people because I'm asexual/aromantic and I didn't really understand those terms until I was a grown-up so I spent a lot of my youth thinking something was wrong with me, until I learned those terms and understood I wasn't alone. So I pick books that have great messages but are also good stories, books that children love but that also tell them that you're not alone and you are just right the way that you are.

I wanted to plant a seed that everyone deserves love and acceptance with that conversation but to also say 'hey, I'm a safe space if you need it, I've had some small experience with this'. But I've already begun to plant that seed a long time ago and have seen it growing in the three years this child has been a part of my room. Going from declaring they don't like JoJo Siwa (a previous favourite artist) because she's gay, to telling me they think it's okay to be gay, to purposefully picking out children's books that feature children with different gender presentations to read to me and to the class at story time. To telling me, while they read me "Sparkle Boy" that they think it's okay to dress how you want even if their dad doesn't like it because it makes people happy and feel good.

I hope that this seed that has been planted continues to grow into a strong confident person, full of acceptance and love who finds a spot in this world where they are celebrated for who they are.

I think the reason I feel compelled to share this now (not just because it's pride month) is because it's representative to me of the profound impact that we can have on another by continuing to share consistent messages about love and acceptance, sharing media that normalizes diverse identities, and calling out messages of hatred. It takes a community even if at first a community is just one person saying "I don't agree with your dad. I think that being a lesbian shouldn't change whether or not you like a singer."

[the-exiled-comic]

What is Fishwhisker’s relationship with Rockfall like? It seemed like they were closer when they were younger, but he seems to play almost no role in her life now. Was Sandywing lying when she said she hadn’t been telling Rockfall to avoid Fishwhisker? And how does he feel about the way their mom treats his sister? Does he recognize the abuse, or is he caught in the fog of being the golden child?

Hm... Lets just say Rockfall has a very complicated relationship with Fishwhisker that I can't say for certain he really even knows why. Rockfall is someone who coped with his family drama by ignoring it and he never really learned how to figure out what was going on behind the curtain.

He is pretty caught in the fog of being the favourite though, yeah. I think that since he doesn't know how to help her, he doesn't even try because he knows it would earn disapproval from Sandywing. He very much does not want to face her wrath. It probably makes him feel important, misunderstanding the situation and believing that because he has a "on speaking terms" relationship with everyone that it means he's doing a good job.

I've never really liked his character but I recently finished drawing a scene with him in it and it's kinda made me realise some things about his character that I don't think I fully understood before. He doesn't really win a lot of sympathy from me, as he is fine just watching everything from the sidelines.... but part of it is he is scared to get caught up in that drama since he believes its a fight he cannot win. He has a form of insecurity I think can be relatable. its interesting to think about how being "the good family member" is so deeply important to him and he has next to nothing aside from that.... And he's kind of failing at it, being complacent is not really something a lot of people would call "good". I would like him to do some soul searching

[francis-writes]

I'm super entranced by Ethel Cains 'Inbred'. Hear me out. Feyd to that song... He's just so religious satire and cannibalism as a form of love language coded. 'Touch me till i vomit' and 'He's so good to me and to nobody else, so you can fuck yourself' or 'If he wakes up, He'll show you what I'm talking about' STOOOOOOOOOOPPP fuming at the mouth

[I understood this are just thoughts about character, not a request, so if I'm wrong, please correct me. I suck at understanding intentions and anything that isn't put plain lol]

Unfortunately I don't listen to Ethel Cain (I heard her, just not my type of music) but you got me at cannibalism as a form of love. I love all the cannibalistic, gore, violent metaphors, idk maybe it's because I just like a man covered in blood, maybe because that how love feels when you're mentally ill.

Okay, so I'm checking my collection of cannibalism/love posts and somehow I forgot that I literally kept a screenshot of Ethel Cain herself.

Also kinda this:

Though I didn't think about religious satire before. I mean, I only wondered how much he knew about his role in Bene Gesserit's plans and whether it was any different for him than pressure of being an heir to house Harkonnen. So hard to say how he felt about being an important step in plan to create Kwisatz Haderach but I often compare his relations with people to biblical stories (I'm not Christian anymore but that's what growing up in religious household does to a mf). Like him and Paul, like Jesus and John the Baptist. Both born in the same time, both destined by God to great things. But no matter his talents and skills, he was the second. I don't know how much Frank Herbert was inspired by the Bible and how much it's my obsession with christian symbolism but also: especially Paul but also Feyd as important part of Kwisatz Haderach plan, remind me about Jesus and Isaac. Promised by God, special ones, admired, destined to great things, but also supposed to be sacrificed.

And Feyd and Rabban remind me about a few cases of siblings in the Bible, but mostly Cain and Abel? Elder brother jealous and bitter than the younger is God's favourite, that whatever Abel does is appreciated and praised, meanwhile efforts of Cain keep being rejected. There's a popular picture (bc Bible doesn't explain how God expressed his opinions on the offerings) that when they burnt their offerings for Lord, smoke from Abel's offering rised to the Heaven, showing that his gift was accepted and that Abel was worthy in God's eyes. Meanwhile smoke from Cain's offering floated downward. And I am just like. Yeah, that's Rabban and Feyd. And also Joseph and his brothers when he had dreams that all his siblings will bow to him...

Okay, I think I should stop here because I wandered out off topic and tbh I could continue this monologue about Dune/Bible correlation for a long, long time.

Apart from all my incoherent ramblings, I checked that song, and yeah... this is so Feyd (even the title, bc I suppose that in Dune marriages between close family in noble houses were rather popular; after all they wanted Feyd to marry Jessica's daughter, that would be his close cousin. Let me tell you, my family is from small village and for many generations there were marriages between close cousins, and if nobody stopped my grandma, she would marry family too. And I am a living mentally ill proof of how inbreeding ends)

[bethaven]

When I was fifteen I was very lonely. All my school friends were fine and all, but I somehow felt like noone really understood me. This is very normal for a teenager, and it’s also very normal for that teenager to seek attention somewhere else. At this time internet had just broke through for real and I did seek validation at music forums and communities. Finding other fans of my favourite band turned out to be a lifesaver, and something that'd change my life forever. 

I met T through a forum for that fandom and we immidiately started talking, a lot. Endless chats about the band, our lives and general thoughts and feelings. She quickly became my best friend, even though we hadn't even met yet. She lived quite far away, but was originally from the same town as me, so when summer arrived she was there to visit family and we met for the first time. I can still see so clearly how our looks met in the middle of a crowd outside the mall, and we just ran into each other's arms. It was like coming home. During the upcomming days we went to the local amusement park and went on all the rides. I was very afraid of most of them before this, but with her I was so safe I just did it. I felt like I was growing up for real, becoming my own person and living my best life, just because she was there.

But, T was not okay. She was sick. Her mental illnes spiraled over the years and I tried everything to make her better. Because I definitely saw it as my duty to fix her, to help her, to dry away all the tears and change everything for the better. Grown ups didn't get it and they were just trying to make her do things she didn't want. I needed to be there. Living far away in all of this was hard, it came with a lot of worry between the messages and calls. I definitely didn't tell my parents exactly how far of T was, I was so afraid they wouldn't allow me to keep her in my life. By the time she was admitted to a home to get help I'd turned 18 and they couldn't say anything when i went to see her. I knew they were worried and didn't completely approve of our friendship, but they also knew that they couldn't stop us. 

Our relationship was intense, deeply loving, complicated, amazing, important and inevitably short. After about five years together it fell apart, I can’t even really remember how. We'd crossed over from teens to young adults and somehow we needed something else by then. I see her face flash by on Facebook sometimes. I know she became a mother a few years ago, which always was her biggest dream. I hope she's ok and gets all she wished for. Part of me will always feel a bit torn by the fact that I wasn't able to fix everything and part of me knows that I couldn't.

All of this makes me think about Nick in Heartstopper and how he carries the weight of Charlie's mental illness on his shoulders. The feeling of having to be the one to fix everything, even though noone have demanded that of you. When the one you love have done so many amazing things for you, so you don't want them to suffer in any way and you're willing to do everything to fix all their problems. As Sarah Nelson tells her son; “Love can't cure a mental illness”. We should always be there for our loved ones, but neither them nor we should expect us to perform miracles. We and them need help. 

I wish I knew this when I was a lonely teenager, and I wish for others in the same situation to get proper support and help. 

No End was our song, which became painfull when it all fell apart. There was an end, there often is. But what we had was still mainly something good, I learned that I deserved good friendships full of love and I wouldn't be who I am today without her. T, this playlist's for you. Thanks for everything.

[goodluckclove]

Tag Game - Questions for Fellow Writers!

I was tagged by the talented @mushroommanchanterelle but I'm going to be a dingus about this, just you wait.

Last book I read: I'm reading an encyclopedia about birds that I got from a used bookstore because it's little and cute and I wanted it to get inspiration for Edgar in Songbird Elegies. I'm also reading The Dead Beat, which is a book about obituary writers. It's pretty good!

Greatest literary inspiration: I definitely get a lot of Vonnegut and maybe Hemingway in terms of accessibility in prose? One of the most important things to me in what I write is making sure that language is beautiful, but simple enough to be easily understood. I think the highest praise I've gotten is from non-native English speakers like my beloved compatriot @ivaspinoza who still really enjoy the excerpts I post.

Maybe also Palahinuik with some of the content and narrative gimmicks? Lil' bit of Kerouac, but like before On the Road? Does that sound like anything?

Things in my current fandom(s) I want to read but I don't want to write: My greatest shame of mine is that I don't really actually have a fandom. I don't like to admit that because it makes me sound like some hermit who only fixates on their writing, but that's...not entirely inaccurate. I consume a lot of media, but nothing that I'd consider myself part of the fandom of.

But I still want to be included because my friend Mushy wants to include me, so I'm making up a fandom. It's a TV show called Jonathan's Food Truck, staring Don Cheadle as Jonathan Fudtruk, a man with aspirations to start a food truck.

I really want to read an AU of Jonathan's Food Truck where he has to sell the food truck. What would happen? Where would he go? Imagine the outage. He fucks that food truck. I'm a Jonathan/Food Truck pro-shipper.

Things in my current fandom(s) I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: a whump fic where Jonathan is forced to operate a brick and mortar restaurant and also he can't stop pissing himself.

You can recognize my writing by: Apparently elaborate food descriptions. I think my dialogue is pretty distinct from what I've been told. Kind of experimental and not super literary. I don't really know how to answer this, maybe you guys can tell me.

My most controversial take (current fandom[s]): The analog horror ARG for Jonathan's Food Truck was not as bad as people say it was. And since it came out before The Mandela Catalogue, they're actually the originators of religious trauma in modern online horror.

Top three favourite tropes: Pathetic characters, abstract narratives, radical softness

What’s your current writing mood? (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut) I mean it's mildly annoying to me but I'm deciding to put aside Book Two for like a week or so and re-edit Book One for a final run before I consider it fully ready to publish. But I'm down for that so - 10?

Share a random frustration: Itch on foot. I don't have one right now but I don't like when I do.

I tag @mercuryytheraven and @rkmoon and @ratracewriting, and I highly encourage you all to make up a fandom like I did because it's a very funny additional challenge.