#it's hard to explain it very well without spoilers just in case

[aberooski]

MASTER MANIPULATOR, U SAY?? 👁👁📝

Do tell more, spill that tea pls (totallynotconsideringstuffhehehehheheheheheheheheheh)

That's right!

Adrian plays absolutely everyone for a fool the entire season. Like I said, everything he does is to serve his own needs and ulterior motives, and he's great at covering his tracks which doesn't help the others not figuring out his bad intentions until it's far too late.

I don't know how much you've maybe seen or not seen so I wanna try and explain this without spoiling anything just in cast which is kinda difficult since context is very important, so forgive me if it seems like I'm glossing over stuff, but an example is at one point in the season he points the J-Squad in a particular direction which is helpful, but he only does that so they can go first and attract all of the attention so he can sneak through and conduct his own investigation and espionage without incident. He also pretends to be helpful to the group while he's actually sneaking off to cover his own tracks and hide his involvement in things and comes back making excuses so nobody gets suspicious of him, basically he'll do anything to get himself ahead and serve his own underhanded intentions while making himself appear as if he's one of the good guys as long as possible so the J-Squad won't inhibit his progress.

Ultimately he's a manipulator or both people and situations, which is very dangerous conceptually, and he leans more consistently on manipulating the situation.

But without spoiling it just in case, that murder I mentioned? His manipulation of people in full force for that.....

That's a very general as spoiler free as possible explanation just in case, but if you want the full spoiler explanation feel free to bug me for it depending on your stance on spoilers of course, and I'll gladly divulge the tea ☕ since like I said I don't know how much of gx you've seen or haven't and I don't wanna just assume y’know? 😅

[electrozeistyking]

Hi, I really like making little personalized references for characters I like when I get into things! I do this to figure out how I wanna draw them, and is a recent-ish development that I haven’t done a lot, but I really like character design and thinking about them! So I made some for Siffrin. How fun!

DO NOTE THAT THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR LATER PARTS OF THE GAME. I did obviously tag it as such for the sake of others and it will be further down, but I figured I’d still warn you just in case. <:3

Now, without further ado, here’s “reference one!”

I’m personally gonna be using this in conjunction with Siffrin’s actual reference sheet (which I refer to as “notes” in mine!!) to make sure he look his best! I also wanted to make sure they’re “in line with canon,” yet still in my style and in a way I can be proud of.

Which isn’t that hard, since I’m usually always proud of my own work. I just like my own stuff. <:3

Due to the brim of his hat allegedly being bean-shaped (teehee), I thought it’d be fun if I carried that over to his torso/body. It’s not noticeable with a cloak in the way, nor when Siffrin’s standing straight up. Basically, the bean shape would only be revealed in certain poses.

(Coming up with that also made me say “Whoops! All beans!” out loud about Siffrin, btw.)

Additionally, I like giving characters is their own set of fangs. One character I draw has a gap between them and the rest of their teeth, one has prominent ones to make them more cat like on purpose — and for Siffrin, I decided to give them rounded ones.

I usually make fangs razor sharp, because I really like big ol chompers like that, so them being round is definitely a very unique thing for Siffrin to have. Well, at least at first.

I’m also a really big fan of certain design elements sticking around after something wild happens to characters… which brings us to “reference two.”

Well, if you’re not gonna be able to find any good references for this version of Siffrin, you might as well make your own, right??

The major thing I wanted to do with this Siffrin was to have him still feel like himself, but also give him somewhat of a unique design in comparison — by playing up elements I noticed during this scene.

Making this Siffrin feel as giant as they are was important to me. I went ahead and made their hat, face, hair and cloak longer. Made their shoulders broader, had them hunch over so they’d practically loom over everyone. Trying to appear smaller while still being an obstacle. Wanting everyone to stay here. Wanting their family.

I noticed that a lot of Siffrin’s hair seemed a lot more angular here, so I felt it crucial to use those shapes, but going a couple steps further and using them for his face as well… primarily his mouth and chin, of course. Which meant replacing those rounded fangs I gave him with a full set of sharper ones.

(I also wanted them to look like they’re too big for Siffrin’s mouth, so two of them — well, four? — will always peek out/fall past their lower lip. It’s like their teeth are not a comfortable fit whatsoever and it makes talking feel weird, but they manage.)

(They stick around after Siffrin “reverts back” or whatever we’re calling it. He never gets his round fangs back, but at least the ones he has now serve as a reminder that he got to the end. Might take some getting used to, though.)

(I also tried making their brows look a bit more angular? Can’t tell if they really come across that way.)

ANYWAY, I THINK I SHOULD STOP HAHAHA. I could go on and on all day, but I got other things to do and I think I’ve already explained enough! Just know that I get a kick out of putting love and care into character thoughts and designs. <:3

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter twelve: "People need to know they are important."

Summary: Let's add more trauma to the Reid's life. How will they deal with Mr. Scratch and Hotch leaving the team? Plus! Diana's health is getting worse and Spencer has to deal with the guilt of not having a clue how to help her. Word count: 14.210 Warning: Hurt and angst, Criminal Minds spoilers. Sad Spencer, sad reader, sad chapter.   A/N: Yes, this whole fanfiction has been hard to write because to give my babies a happy ending, I have to put them through so much, it's sad and angsty even for me.

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(Y/N)’s point of view

In the following months after Morgan’s departure, Spencer kept trying his best to cope with the loss of his best friend. We would often stare at his empty chair in the jet and get lost in his head. Morgan wasn’t far, just a phone call away, and we would try to see him as often as possible. Well, as often as work and our lives let us. Morgan and Savannah were dealing with a newborn, after all. And we kept catching serial killers all over the country.

Meanwhile, I felt the void between JJ and me growing every day. Without Em, it felt like we didn’t share much in common during cases, but work. She would always talk to Spencer. But for some reason or another, we seemed to be falling apart.

The one thing that made me happy those days was planning our trip: Spencer and I were taking Diana and the kids to France for ten days. We needed to get away from work and create some good memories with our family. Spencer told me his mom had always dreamed about making a trip there, and considering she was doing great with her medication, it was the right time to plan a getaway and take a few days off.

Traveling with two kids was as challenging as we imagined. But we made it work. Diana still hated flying, but she hated boats even more. So the thought (most likely the threat) of taking a cruise was enough to help her deal with the nearly eight-hour trip from Washington to the Charles de Gaulle Airport, in Paris.

I lost count of all the museums we visited, and of all the macarons, opera cakes, and pan au chocolate we ate. Spencer had the entire trip scheduled and nearly timed, which didn’t really work with two babies. After only two hours after landing, my dear husband realized all his plans were going down the drain. And yet, he kept his spirits up.

- “The babies are jetlagged, you are jetlagged. Just nap a little!”

- “Ma cherie, we are finally in the right place to call you cherie, I don’t think I can close an eye.”

Spencer was incredibly excited to be in France. We had traveled through Europe for our honeymoon, but we didn’t include France in our itinerary because one day my husband wanted to take his mother.

- “Relax.”- I whispered and kissed his lips sweetly as Raven and Vinny napped on our bed.

On our first day, we visited Le Louvre and between Spencer and Diana, I got a basically private and very exclusive tour of the place, with the history of most pieces. My husband carried Raven most of the time on his shoulders, while Vinny was in his stroller, napping most of the time.

- “I mean, you read about it your entire life, and then suddenly, you are standing right in front of it.”- Diana whispered as we stood in front of The Venus de Milo.

- “Where are her arms?”- Raven asked and turned to me with the most concerned look on her face.

- “Well Birdy, this statue is very old.”- I started explaining- “And when they found her, she had lost her arms already.”

- “So it’s broken.”- she summed up simply.

- “She hasn’t been well preserved, darling.”- Diana added and held her hand as Raven frowned and looked at her grandma.

- “Some of my toys are not well preserved too.”

I had to bite my lips not to start laughing right there.

We visited the Eiffel towel with Diana and the babies, took a million pictures, and had a picnic in a park right in front, with the most amazing view. But by far, one of the most romantic things we did during our trip was having a date there just the two of us. We left the kids with Diana at the hotel and Spencer took me for dinner at a very exclusive restaurant in the Eiffel Towel, called Julio Verne. It felt very appropriate considering how much my husband loves his books.

- “Wow.”- that was the best I could do at the moment, ‘cos I was speechless. It was by far the most expensive place we had ever been at. I felt guilty for even thinking about eating there, I don’t know why. Like I wasn’t worth it or something.

- “Our first time in a Michelin winner restaurant.”- Spencer whispered as we both looked around the room. We sat by the window, with an incredible view of Paris lightened outside.

- “I’m wearing the best dress I’ve got and I still feel underdressed for the occasion.”- my words made my husband chuckle as he shook his head and stared into my eyes.

- “You look lovely, ma cherie.”- Spencer held my hand and kissed my fingers as he kept looking at me. I know I blushed. He could still make me feel nervous when he did those things.

- “Thank you.”- I had to look away because I was feeling like a teenager on her first date. - “So… did you look at the menu?”

- “Yes. Very French.”- he chuckled as I grabbed one menu and stared at it. - “I already booked us the five courses menu for tonight.”- I remember how I stopped breathing when Spencer announced that and the only thing I could ask was:

- “So our kids are not going to college then.”- and he just laughed.

- “Maybe one. I’m rooting for Raven.”

- “Spencer, why are we spending so much money over dinner? I would have been happy with some saint honoré sitting on the grass down there.”

- “Ma cherie, I’ve waited for this date for years. I’ve dreamed of giving you exactly what you deserve. And this is what you deserve, and if I can give you more, I would!”- I opened my mouth to argue, but I couldn’t. Not because I felt like I deserved all that, but because Spencer’s eyes were so honest, so enamored, and so sweet, I just couldn’t argue with him.

- “You deserve the word.”- I managed to answer, feeling tears coming to my eyes as I stared at my husband.

- “You’ve given me the world. You made me a husband. A father. You gave me our babies.”

- “I could give you a hundred more.”- I confessed underneath and he just raised an eyebrow, raising an eyebrow charmingly.

- “Don’t put ideas in my head.”

- “I’m just saying…-” I chuckled and shook my head.- “I just want to make you happy, honey.”

- “Trust me, ma cherie. You are very good at that.”

I wish I could frame that memory and stare at it whenever I feel sad or doubtful of everything. Sometimes I feel I need an anchor to keep me from drifting to dark places. Which I often did. I blame the nature of our jobs, which could show us daily how mean people could be. How much we can hurt each other.

When we came back after our vacations, things at the BAU kept changing nonstop. Luke Alvez joined the team, which was a great addition. We needed help, and he was good at his job. Besides, it added some drama to the team ‘cos, of course, Luke didn’t want to replace Morgan, he had no idea what had happened with our friend, why he had left, and how important he was to us. And yet, Garcia hated him. No. That’s not enough: Garcia loathed the poor guy before he did anything.

Let’s be honest, it was fun. They had a growing sexual tension that entertained us all the way I can only imagine our own slow burn with Spencer entertained the team in the past. And for once, it was fun staring at the whole show from a safe distance.

But. Of course, there was a “but.”

Hotch wasn’t there. They told us he had been called for a special investigation and from one day to the other, he was gone.

The last time we had a case with him was messy. In the worst way possible. It’s always hard for the team when kids are involved, and when one of them dies… let’s say none of us left that case unharmed. We were coming back home from Seattle. It hadn’t been a long case, a spree killer with an assault rifle. We caught him in less than 16 hours. But when we were on our way back home, the plane turned and took us to Los Angeles.

Hoch had been consulting on cases related to missing kids in the area, and the bodies of two children had just appeared in an empty building. There was still no proof, but Hotch had a hunch. And if he trusted it was related, we were not gonna a argue.

I wish I had known that was our last case together. It feels so much personal now that I know what I know. It also makes everything look more clear: life kept throwing us left curves so we could move and leave our work. But we were too blind to see.

Spencer’s point of view

I don’t think I will ever forget the last case we shared with Hotch. God, just thinking about it makes me mad. I am so tired of not getting to say goodbye to people who mean something to me. Of people who changed my life. I could forget about my own father abandoning me and my mother when I was a kid. But not about Gideon turning his back on the team, Alex leaving without even saying goodbye, or Morgan quitting the team. And I don’t think I could ever deal healthily with the whole idea of Hotch leaving the BAU. I could understand why he did it, but at the same time, it hurt me professionally and personally.

It came to a point where I was in deep paranoia everyone I cared for was going to turn their backs on me. My own wife included.

When we reached Los Angeles, me, Alvez, and JJ went straight to the crime scene. We had a suspect, there had been a similar case two years earlier in San Diego. Two kids, same M.O. but their bodies were found months apart. It fitted the profile. At the crime scene, we found the same chains and locks he had used in the previous crime. Same cots, same woods. It was clearly him.

But other than that, we didn’t really have much. (Y/N), Tara, and JJ talked with the family of the victims, trying to gather more info, something that could help us find a path, a pattern, anything. But we were in the dark. Hotch talked with the press, ‘cos we were getting desperate, the fire in the crime scene had destroyed any print or clue we could have gotten. We needed something, and I hate when all the hope we have is based on the unsub committing a crime again. Which he did: after 46 hours, he had caught 16-year-old girl Francesca Morales.

- “We are referring to him as a sadistic pyromaniac, which is a rare and dangerous combination because there's a strong compulsive element to his psychopathy.”- I said as we delivered the profile in front of the police department.

- “It's not just about watching the fires he sets. It's also the mental pain and anguish he inflicts.”- (Y/N) added and turned to Hotch.

- “We believe that he's driving a truck, van, or an RV. He needs space to abduct and transport his victims. We know that he's extremely mobile. We've notified law enforcement in surrounding counties. We just want to make sure he doesn't leave the city limits.”- our unit chief described.

And that was the last time we delivered a profile with Hotch.

Sometimes I hate how good my memory is. It can turn into a curse when I can recall so many details of moments I wish I could forget. But like my wife said on April 16th, 2008: I remember everything.

My wife wasn’t taking the case well at all. As I’ve said several times, whenever there are kids involved, you can’t help but think of your own. Considering this unsub was taking a girl and a boy, it was easy to project our babies in every crime scene and victim we saw. She called her mom at least four times during the afternoon we talked with Mrs. Morales, the kidnapped girl’s mother. JJ was very afflicted as well and came over to talk to me while I made my wife a cup of fresh coffee.

- “How are you holding up?”- she asked and stood next to me as I filled two mugs with coffee.

- “Just tired. You?”

- “Talking with Mrs. Morales gave us some more information about her daughter. Apparently, they were very close, and Francesca was aware she had to take care while alone on the streets. That means if he tried to use a ruse on her, it wouldn't work on her.”

- “So he probably resorted to some kind of blitz attack to get her.”- I thought out loud as I added sugar to my cup. JJ nodded and sighed.

- “It’s the part of our job I hate the most.”

- “It’s always hard when there are kids involved.”- I whispered stirring my coffee.- “Makes you wonder if you are doing enough, or if anything you do is even helping at all.”

Those last words were meant to stay in my mind, but I couldn’t control myself. I was tired, and though we had some clues, I still felt we were going nowhere.

- “What we do makes a difference, Spence.”- JJ placed a hand on mine and smiled.

- “It’s hard to feel that way when your friends keep leaving, and you spend a week away from your kids.”- I just spat the words and my friend stared at me, astonished.

- “Spence, Morgan left for a reason.”

- “I know, and I understand his reasons.”- I shouldn't have said that in front of JJ, I understood that second, she wasn’t going to let my comment go. - “I’m gonna get this to my wife.”

- “Wait, Spence. I know we haven’t talked much lately, things have been crazy at home with Henry and Michael, but… we could have coffee sometime, get to talk.”- JJ stood in front of me with pleading eyes, like she felt sorry for not talking to me. Did she feel I had no one to tell my feelings to? I still wonder if I did right when I shook my head and simply cut her a short smile.

- “Thanks. I know we can talk. I just… things have been crazy back home too, with Raven and Vincent.”

- “You know you can count on me whenever you need anything.”- JJ’s hand caressed my arms and for once, I didn’t really like her touching me. Still, I didn’t say anything. I just nodded and smiled.

- “Thank you. You can count on me too.”

I made my way back to the conference room, where my wife was sitting next to Tara and Hotch. They were going through everything we knew about the case over and over again, in case we had missed anything. I gave her her cup of coffee and watched her smile at me, making me feel things were right for a second.

- “Thank you hon.”- (Y/N) whispered and sipped her mug.

- “Sorry guys, I didn’t know if you had coffee.”- I apologized but Tara just shook her head and smiled.

- “Rossi is getting us some caffeine, he should be on his way back. Thank you, Spencer.”

I nodded and turned to the board in silence. It was hard to focus, but if I wanted to go home soon, I had to find something that could help us catch that killer and bring those kids back home safely as soon as possible.

- “He won't leave the city”- I mumbled staring at the map in front of me

- “You say something?”- Lewis asked me from the table. I kept my eyes on the image in front of me for a second or two, trying to rearrange my thoughts, and then I turned to look at her the second Rossi walked into the room with coffee.

- “I don't think he'll leave the city.”- I explained. - “Look, if you track his activity from the start, his first two victims were found near the Mexican border. But they were discovered 6 months apart and in locations 52 miles apart. Unfortunately, because they were runaways, it's impossible to track when or where they were taken, but his next two victims, Hannah Robertson and Max Wasserman, only lived 14 miles apart, and they were taken within days of each other.”

- “Ok.”- Tara stared at me, waiting for a big revelation, ‘cos so far I was just spitting facts we knew.

- “But he took them both 39 miles all the way here to Los Angeles to finish the job.”- I simply added.

- “We profiled that that could be about availability.”- Rossi commented from the other side of the table.- “A lot of abandoned space here.”

- “And don’t forget about the high police presence around the abduction sites.”- my wife mumbled before taking a long sip of the coffee I made for her.

- “Exactly, it makes sense he'd keep moving to avoid being caught.”- Tara commented as he turned to me and shrugged.

- “But he didn't keep moving, and he didn't go dormant. He stayed right here and accelerated.”- I analyzed and stared at (Y/N), who raised an eyebrow reading my mind.

- “So Los Angeles is where he wants to be.”- she suggested and I nodded, drawing lines on the map.

- “Yes, I think he's been converging on the city.”

- “If that's true, his next victim probably lives in Los Angeles, too.”- Hotch stared at the map, doing his analysis as he dialed the phone and Garcia’s voice filled the whole room.

- “Sir, yes, sir.”

- “Garcia, how many boys live within a 15-mile radius of Francesca Morales?”- Aaron asked her. The answer was impossible.

- “Uh, thousands, Sir, like literally.”

- “All right, narrow your search by hair color. We're only interested in boys with brown hair.”- and we all heard her typing as fast as possible as she hyperventilated.

- “Right. Uh, this is gonna take me a while because kids that age don't usually have photo IDs. They have passports, maybe, but it's all about the parents' social media. I'm gonna handle this. I'll hit you back when I have something.”

- “All right, thanks.”- Hotch hung up and (Y/N) looked at him shaking her head.

- “You love pushing her to the limits, don’t you?”

- “I never ask something unless I know you all can answer.”- Hotch replied and my wife just nodded. And suddenly, something hit her ‘cos she wide opened her eyes and turned to me.

- “Ok, call me crazy ‘cos I might be projecting our babies in this whole case, but Francesca Morales has a brother that age. If the unsub is converging, he could be a target.”

- “Yeah, but Hannah Robertson had an 11-year-old brother and a 9-year-old brother, and Max Wasserman has a 15-year-old sister.”- Tara argued but my wife insisted.

- “I mean he is not just after an older girl and a younger boy…”

- “It’s older sister, younger brother.”- I finished my wife’s sentence and she nodded. Now I was projecting our babies in the case as well. And it made it a thousand times worse.

- “We should bring in this Morales kid just to be safe.”- Rossi suggested. But we were too late. The unsub already had that poor kid. When JJ and Alvez got there, Berto had been taken and Mrs. Morales was unconscious. They called an ambulance and then drove back to the station.

An hour late, we had a suspect: John David Bates. He was from Nevada, currently living in Los Angeles. He had tried to burn the family house with his sister in it twice before his parents relinquished his custody and he ended up in a foster home.

This kill was his endgame. He wanted to kill an older sister with her little brother. Hotch didn’t let me or my wife on the field that night. I think he knew it had gotten too personal for us. But he failed to notice how personal it had turned for JJ as well. She ended up hurt that night, and Francesca sadly died. Only her brother Berto was saved from the fire the unsub had created.

It felt wrong. Like nothing we did was ever enough. We tried our best and yet failed. I refused to even talk about it. I just wanted to be home, at peace, with my babies and my wife, in our own bubble.

On the plane back, I made (Y/N) a cup of tea and covered her with a blanket. She cut me a short smile and rested her head on my shoulder, snuggling closer. A few minutes later, not even half into her cup of tea, she was sound asleep. Hotch looked at us from his seat and the ghost of a smile hunted his face for a fragment of a second. I caught him staring at us when I looked at him from my book and felt my lips twitch into a shy grin.

- “Years might pass, but I will always feel happy to watch you two so in love.”- he murmured from his chair and sipped his whiskey.

- “We would have never gotten here if it wasn’t for you.”

- “I would disagree, but at your pace, you would still be considering confessing your feelings to her.”- Hotch grinned and I nodded.

- “You are right about that. So thank you for pushing us to deal with our feelings.”

- “I regret many decisions from the last ten years. That will never be on that list.”-Aaron assured me and I knew he meant it.

That will always be the last conversation we shared. After that day, I never saw him again.

How can you not resent your work when people you consider your own family disappear from your life like that? At first, they told us he was on a special mission, but after a month or so, the truth was out: he was in the witness protection program after he discovered Mr. Scratch was stalking his son Jack.

Of course, I understand the deep anger and desperation you feel when you even just imagine something - anything bad - happening to your kids. That means I can’t really blame Hotch for leaving. I don’t. I could never. But if you ask me, I blame our work. The nature of what we do. Serial killer, the constant danger.

There was a time when the mere thought of leaving the BAU seemed impossible. But at that time, it started looking real.

But before we could even start thinking about leaving, we had to catch Mr. Scratch.

Right. We haven’t talked in deep of Mr. Scratch just yet. Let me give you the facts: I hate that mother fucker. He has been one of the few unsubs that has gotten under my skin. One of the few I would have killed before even trying to question. Before we knew Hotch was gone for real, Prentiss came back for a few weeks, to cover for him. That was great, and fun and a nice change from missing Emily. Having her around made the transition a little more bearable, I think.

We first met Mr. Scratch back when Kate was still in the BAU over a year earlier. He was drugging people and turning them into murderers. Why? ‘Cos back in the days, one of them had pointed out his father as a pedophile while he was a kid and his parents ran a foster home in Florida, which led to the death of his father in the hands of other prisoners while he was doing his time.

We managed to catch the guy that one time. He tried to get into Hotch’s head, drugged him, and even persuaded him to kill us. I guess that’s why he got obsessed with Aaron. He couldn’t crack his head and make a puppet out of him. So he plotted his revenge.

Right before we went to Paris, Hotch was ambushed and accused of plotting an attack against the BAU. Crazy? Yes. The fact the Department of Justice actually believed the accusations were true made it even worse. And considering Jack, his son, had to witness the moment a SWAT team stormed into their apartment to get him… honestly, why were we still with the FBI?

Scratch’s revenge was a long shot. He helped an anarchist plan a prison break and used an unsub autistic son to frame our Unit Chief. The result was multiple serial killers on the loose. Including Mr. Scratch himself.

Eventually, National Security realized they were being played and released Hotch. I will never forget that case ‘cos - a side from the eidetic memory issue - it all happened less than two months after Vincent was born, and it was one of the first cases I was back for. It was local, and for a split of a second, while I was in that prison, in the middle of a shooting, I thought that was it. That my kids would have to grow up without their father. That I was never gonna leave that place alive. It wasn’t any better when a helicopter exploded right in front of us.

Sure, Rossi planned a nice dinner afterward, and we all got to share a beautiful evening together with the kids, and our loved ones. But… we weren’t even done eating when Hotch’s cell phone rang. Thirteen serial killers, along with Mr. Scratch were on the loose. Years of work, wasted.

- “Why do we even bother?”- (Y/N) asked crossing her arms on her chest as we all stood in Rossi’s library, trying to understand what was happening. - “We fight serial killers, we hunt them down, and mother fuckers get on the loose again! No one will ever actually be safe.”

Back then I told her it was our work to make sure those killers wouldn’t hurt anyone else. But now, I know it was our job. Now we have a bigger task. We have to find our own happiness.

(Y/N)’s point of view

The first few weeks after Prentiss came back were fun. Well, as fun as our job can be. She brought donuts for breakfast and tried to make Luke feel more welcome (making it awkward in the process, as it should be, considering he was, as Garcia liked to call him: the newbie). She also organized a few ladies' nights out to catch up. Maybe she realized JJ and I were not as close as we used to be. Or maybe she was just trying to make up for all the time she had spent away.

Meanwhile, at home, Spencer had been obsessing with getting his mother into a groundbreaking study that, according to all the investigation and papers he had read, could in fact reverse the effects of Alzheimer's.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was too good to be true, and I knew it was something Spencer needed to do for his mother. Diana had been ok, she was incredibly present and healthy during our trip. If we didn’t know she had schizophrenia and Alzheimer's, she would have passed by a very volatile and fun grandmother. She had fully embraced her new title of grandma, or Memaw, as she likes to be called. Memaw read to Raven for hours, all of their favorite stories. And she held baby Vincet and hummed sweet lullabies for him, filling our hearts with love every time we were together.

But Spencer was afraid. He didn’t want to lose his mother and with every passing day, a little piece of her disappeared. So of course I supported him through the entire application process and hoped for the best.

- “It’s been three weeks, they should know by now.”- Spencer whispered in the middle of the dark. We were cuddled on our bed, our kids sound asleep on the very same bed, after feeding Vincent and calming Raven from a bad dream.

- “These things take time, hun. You know it. They told you it could take from three to five weeks.”- I replied and caressed his arm slowly, feeling him roll on the bed, Raven sleeping in between us. I looked at him and cut him a short smile in the dark.

- “I know. It’s just… I’m anxious, I need this to work.”

- “It will work. No matter what, we are never going to stop trying to help your mom feel better. You know that, right?”- I heard him sigh and then, Spencer got quiet. I didn’t want to continue talking, afraid I could push him too hard. I knew Diana was a sensitive subject for Spencer, and no matter how long we had been together, I still felt around eggshells when it came to her health.

- “Thank you, chipmunk.”- that was all Spencer whispered after a few seconds, and held my hand in the dark.

That’s why I understood exactly why he was so excited when he finally got the call from the director of the assisted care home Diana lived at back in Las Vegas. She was in. I was at my desk in the bullpen, trying to finish some of the paperwork I had behind when I saw him spinning on his chair. That could only mean something good had happened.

- “She’s in! She is in!”- Spencer ran to me and lifted me from my chair, nearly jumping.

- “Wh…”- but before I could even ask, Rossi stood next to us, raising an eyebrow.

- “Am I interrupting a private moment?”- and after a short pause, David wide opened his eyes. - “You are not pregnant again, are you?”

- “Wh.. no!”- I chuckled as I replied, thinking it was fun that was the very first thing that came to Rossi’s mind.

- “I was just talking with the director of the assisted care home where my mother lives.”- Spencer explained, still smiling- “We kept quiet because we didn't want to jinx it, but there's a groundbreaking clinical study on Alzheimer's at Johns Hopkins next month, and I just found out that my mom's gonna be one of the participants. She got in.”

Rossi smiled and hugged my husband, tapping his back a few times.

- “That's great news, Spencer.”

- “It's huge. The program's called metabolic enhancement for neuro-degeneration, and results from earlier tests are hopeful, not just to slow the disease but to actually reverse it!”- after that sentence, Spencer actually started jumping, making me and Rossi chuckle at the sight. The last time I saw Spencer that happy had been the day we discovered we were having Vinny.

- “Ok, it's customary that the lottery winner shares that mega-payout with the rest of the office.”- Garcia said, walking toward us, surprised by my husband’s excitement.

- “Well, Reid's news is even better than that.”- Rossi explained, but we didn’t have time to tell her the whole story: we had a case.

- “Told you things were gonna work out”- I whispered as I kissed my husband’s hand, walking hand in hand to the briefing room. And the way he smiled at me, so full of excitement and hope, I can’t believe all the shit that came next.

As far as we knew, Hotch was still on TDY, but available for consultation in case we needed him. Which sadly we didn’t. Maybe that was the sign he needed to simply let go: the team was going to be ok without him. Work would get done, even if he wasn’t there to supervise it. I need to write that down and repeat it as a mantra.

My husband’s excitement lasted exactly six and a half hours. That very same afternoon, while we were in the middle of the investigation on the Appalachian trail, not really far from Quantico. We were outside the abduction site of the latest victim of our unsub. Spencer had commented last case we had there was the time I had gotten lost in the woods, six years ago, and that had been the reason behind my nickname: “Chipmunk.” He was happy, you could tell, even when we were trying to catch a serial killer, my husband was excited.

That, until he got a phone call.

- “The victim's name is Howard Walker.”- JJ announced as she walked from the convenience store the victim had seen last. - “He was picking up pizza and beer for the family dinner.”

- “We're a half mile or more from where Lewis and Alvez apprehended the unsub.”- Spencer commented as I took a look around, trying to picture the whole scene happening in front of me. What weren’t we seeing?

- “The guy must have needed a car or a truck if he was moving the victim away from here. I don’t think Todd has the skills to drive.”- I said and Spencer nodded. But he didn’t say anything ‘cos he got a call and without saying another word, he walked away from us to pick up.

I stared at him and noticed his face changing as Rossi and JJ kept talking about the case. They had lost my entire concentration, I knew there was something wrong by the way Spencer started pacing as he talked.

- “Lab results.”- Rossi announced as he took a look at his phone. He touched my shoulder and forced me to focus on work again.- “DNA in that muzzle we found matches one of the original five victims.”

- “That means the unsub is probably making them wear it for his fantasies.”- I said as Rossi nodded.

- “Dehumanize them.”- he added - “It's easier to kill an animal than a human.”

Spencer ended his call and turned to look at us. He seemed defeated and shocked. I took a few steps closer to him and rubbed his arm carefully. But before I could actually ask my husband what was happening, I heard JJ’s voice.

- “Everything ok, Spence?”- I couldn’t control my own face as I deadpanned her.

- “Yeah…”- he nodded and sighed. Of course, he was lying.

- “What is it?”- I whispered and held his hand.

- “That was the Las Vegas police. I guess they found my mom wandering around a casino near her living facility. She didn't know who she was or how she got there.”

- “How is she?”- I asked right away

- “She is ok. They put her on the phone. She sounded normal, just obviously embarrassed, you know, by all the fuss.”

- “You have to go be with her.”- the words left my lips before I even processed it.

- “I can't do that. We're right in the middle… and the kids are at home. I can’t leave you alone now.”

- “Investigation will be fine.”- Rossi explained to him right away.

- “And I will manage. I can ask Mom for help. Or Frank, or Mikey, or Garcia.”

- “I just… can’t…”- Spencer looked at me and I could see the struggle within him.

- “We'll be fine here. We’ll help with the kids.”- Rossi assured him and I nodded, still holding onto his hand.

- “Your mom is a priority.”- JJ added and I looked at Spencer with a short smile.

- “Go, honey. Please.”

- “Are you sure?”- he whispered and caressed my cheek sweetly. I nodded one more time and let go of his hand.

- “I am sure, you have to do it.”

- “Ok. I'm gonna go to the M.E.'s office and grab something for Prentiss, but I'll leave first thing in the morning and spend a day or two. No more than that.”

- “Take all the time you need.”- Rossi said as my husband waved and walked to the SUV.- “Aren’t you going with him?”- David asked and turned to me. - “Come on! Like I’m the one who is tearing you two apart.”

- “Thank you.”- I whispered and hurried to catch my husband before he got to the car.

Things didn’t get better for him, though. And that very same day, later in the afternoon, Spencer got another phone call. We were ready to go, mom had called to tell me she had taken the babies to our apartment so Spencer got to spend extra time with them before his trip. He had tickets to Las Vegas at 7am, and I knew he didn’t really want to go, but he had to.

- “Yes, this is him”- Spencer said as he picked up the phone on his desk and stayed sat, staring blankly in front of him.

- “What are you still doing here?”- Rossi asked and stood next to me as I stared at Spencer, still on the phone. One more time, it was clear he wasn’t getting good news. - “I thought you were home, packing a bag.”

- “We are almost out”- I said and Spencer hung up.- “What happened?”

- “That was the director of the Johns Hopkins clinical trial. Turns out my mom wasn't chosen.”

- “What? Why? What happened?”- I moved closer to him and rested my hands on his shoulders as he just sat there, in shock.

- “Budget restraints. The study had to randomly reduce the number of participants and my mom's name was drawn.”

- “I’m so sorry honey”- he just shook his head and sighed, defeated.

- “Well, you can still go to Vegas.”- Rossi suggested and I agreed with him.

- “That’s true. Your mom still had that episode this morning, and I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you.”

- “No. It's important that I stay here and try and find something else.”- Spencer shook his head and turned to me and Rossi, giving all the explanations he thought we needed. - “There's a study coming up with Paul Stanfield at the Anderson Clinic in Houston...

- “Hon… no. She needs you now.”

- “I have to find another way to help her.”- my husband was determined, and I knew it was going to be hard to change his mind.

- “Spencer, I understand you want to help. But don't lose sight of the bigger picture.”- Rossi sat on Reid’s desk as he spoke and my husband looked at him, lost in the conversation.

- “What do you mean?”

- “You have a finite amount of time left with your mother. I know it's a hard thing to say, but I speak from experience. Don't squander the time you have left by being overly focused on fixes.”

That was exactly what I wanted to tell him, but never found the right words. I loved Rossi that minute.

- “But I want her to get better.”- Spencer argued, probably not getting the real concept of “limited time.” He knew his mom was losing her mind every day a little more, but he still thought he had more time than he actually had to help her.

- “Then get on that phone. Buy your ticket to Las Vegas. Being with you, seeing you, hearing your voice, that's the best medicine you could give your mother. That you can give each other.”

- “Papa pasta is right, hon. Your mom needs her son more than anything right now. That’s all that matters right now.”

Spencer nodded and stayed in silence, probably trying to process everything that had just happened. Rossi hugged him as we all stood up and walked out of the bullpen. My husband didn’t want to talk much on the drive back home, and I didn’t push him. I knew he was miserable.

- “Daddy!!!””- Raven ran to his arms as soon as we opened the front door and my mom stared at us from the kitchen, holding baby Vinny in her arms.

- “Someone was eager to see you two.”- she said with a warm smile.

- “We were eager to see you too, birdy. How was your day? Hey Sofia!”- Spencer kissed our daughter’s cheeks many times as he held her in his arms and she started telling him every single detail of her day. I was glad to stare at that scene because it put a smile on Spencer’s face and that was enough to make me feel happy.

- “Today the teacher read us a story, but you had read it to me already, but everybody liked it, so I told them there was a second part, and the teacher said she was gonna read that tomorrow.”- Raven kept rambling as I walked toward mom and held baby Vinny.

- “Thank you for picking them up from daycare”

- “Anytime you need, peanut. Vinny already ate, but Raven wanted to have dinner with you two.”

- “And then my friend said I had to jump, and I did, and they said I had to do it again…”- Raven was on fire talking with Spencer, so I walked to the kitchen with my mom and whispered.

- “Diana didn’t make it to the study after all.”

- “What? Why?”

- “They cut the budget and Diana didn’t make the cut.”

- “That’s so bad, how is he?”

- “I don’t think he wants to go anymore.”- I whispered and turned to look at Spencer laughing at something Raven had told him.

- “Why not? His mother needs him.”

- “That’s what I told him, Mom. But it’s still hard for him to face her episodes and the fact she is forgetting so much. One thing is schizophrenia, another thing is dementia, and I don’t think he can handle both their effects on his mother.”

- “Poor thing.”- my mom whispered and sighed. - “It’s so sad what’s happening to Diana. She is such a nice and sweet woman.”

- “I know… Spencer doesn’t deserve all this pain.”-I murmured and kissed my baby’s cheek several times.

- “Have you considered bringing her here? Keep her close?”- mom muttered

- “I’ve told him that so many times… but he keeps saying it’s too much to deal with considering we have the kids…”- but I couldn’t continue talking, because Spencer walked over and stood next to me. Raven kept her little arms around his neck and smiled at me as I stared at her thinking my daughter was the biggest daddy’s girl I had ever met.

- “ How was your day, Sofia?”

- “I was just telling (Y/N), I had a very nice day today. I had lunch with my friend Rebecca, she is so fun! She just came back from Canada, she was visiting her daughter.”

Remember when I told you I was the best liar in the entire FBI? I got that from my mom.

Later that night, we put the kids to bed. Raven asked Spencer to read her a story while I walked Vinny across his room until he was fast asleep. I sang to him under my breath and watched him asleep for a few minutes, enjoying the entire moment ‘cos I knew how short those moments were. My little baby was going to be running up and down the house in no time.

After I put him down in his crib, I put an eye on Raven, who was sound asleep already. I covered her and tiptoed outside her room, ready to get into my bed and get some decent sleep for once. That was when I heard my husband on the phone.

- “Dr. Stanfield, hi, my name is Spencer Reid, and I was wondering if you were available tomorrow to talk about my mother.”

And that’s when I knew he wasn’t going to Las Vegas the following day. He was gonna focus on getting her into another experimental treatment instead of spending decent time with her while he still could. And it really broke my heart to think how traumatized and helpless he must have felt.

Spencer’s point of view

I knew my wife was worried about me. But all I could think of at that minute was how to help my mother. And hanging out with her was not going to stop the dementia from taking her from me. I had to find a way to treat her, a place where they could actually help her.

So I let the days pass, we got a few more cases, and life continued as it had always been, and that gave me some sort of comfort. I got my mother into another experimental study group in Houston. (Y/N) and I talked about it and we had an agreement. I was going to give that study a chance, but if it didn’t work, we were bringing my mother to Washington so we could take care of her and help her as much as we could.

It didn’t feel right putting my wife under so much pressure, but she kept telling me what happened to my mother wasn’t just my problem, but ours ‘cos we were a family. And if I have to be honest, I loved the sound of that.

And life left a little more in place after that. Until it finally happened. After over a month without Hotch, we arrived at the bullpen and Garcia intercepted us before we could even have our first coffee at the office.

- “Thank God you guys are here. What do you know?”- and we all stared at her not getting what she was talking about.

- “Nothing.”- JJ replied and frowned, as lost as we were. So Garcia started explaining:

- “Ok. Rossi got here crazy early, and then right when Prentiss came in he pulled her in there.”- and we all stared at his office the minute he and Prentiss walked out and stared back at us with the most serious expression.

- “We need to talk.”- David said as he and Emily walked to the briefing room.

- “That never leads to anything good.”- I whispered and didn’t even stop to leave my purse on my desk as I followed the team to the room. Spencer held my hand and looked at me, clearly worried about what was going to happen. Was someone leaving? What other changes could we face as a team?

- “What's going on?”- Garcia asked as soon as we were all together behind a closed door.

- “It's Hotch.”- Rossi announced and our hearts stopped at the idea of anything happening to our Unit Chief.

- “Oh, my God. Is he ok?”- Penelope’s voice was hyperventilated as she spoke.

- “He's ok. But he has not been away on special assignment.”- David started explaining- “That's something we had to say as a cover for the investigation.”

- “I’m sorry, what are you talking about? What investigation?”- (Y/N) shouted the questions, a little exasperated Rossi was taking his sweet time explaining what was happening.

- “Hotch saw Peter Lewis watching one of Jack's soccer games.”- and we all gasped at David’s words, ‘cos it meant Mr. Scratch was stalking our team.

- “By the time Hotch reacted, Lewis had taken off. The Bureau searched the area, but he disappeared.”- Prentiss added, sounding very secure and calmed, knowing she had to give us at least the false sensation of security.

- “When was this?”- JJ asked, her voice and expression as stern as I had ever seen.

- “Days after Mr. Scratch resurfaced in Arizona.”- I nodded at Rossi’s words and Tara commented

- “One of the victims was chanting his name when we found her. She had "Hotch" carved into her forehead. It really got to him.”

- “Why didn't he tell us? We could have focused on finding Mr. Scratch!”- I questioned right away. It was upsetting knowing our Unit Chief had been through that hell on his own when we could have all helped him find that psycho and keep his family safe.

- “He knows we can't drop everything. Also, he didn't want to worry everyone.”- Rossi explained like it wasn’t a big deal. But it was. It meant we had failed to keep each other safe.

- “So now what? They have around-the-clock surveillance?”- Luke asked what we all wanted to know but couldn’t ask, ‘cos I get at a certain level, we were all in shock.

- “Initially, yes.”- Rossi started, and it didn’t sound good.- “Agents were assigned to watch Jack 24/7. But when we were all in L.A, on the John David Bates case, Scratch surfaced again, this time at Jack's school.”

- “Going after Jack takes this to a whole new level.”- JJ mumbled looking scared, and I could absolutely relate to her. When you realize your own kids could be the next ones chased by a serial killer, things start looking very dark.

- “Peter Lewis is not going to stop. Which is why Hotch and Jack have now entered the program.”- Rossi finished explaining, and for a moment it felt unreal. It was also a deja vu. I couldn’t stop thinking it was the same thing that happened with Haley. Hotch must have been going through hell all those weeks alone with Jack.

- “But now that this happened, we can drop everything and focus on catching Mr. Scratch, and then Hotch can come back, right?”- Garcia’s voice was filled with hope, but somehow I knew the answer was going to be a no. (Y/N) held my hand tight and I moved closer to her, feeling her body next to me.

- “He went away believing that could happen. But things have changed. He's now decided that he can't put himself and Jack in danger again.”

It was official. Hotch was gone for good. And it didn’t matter if we caught Mr. Scratch or not. He had made his choice. And it was his family, his real family, not his “work family”.

- “He just sent in his resignation.”- Rossi confirmed. - “I know this is a lot to process.”

- “I mean, yeah, he's a great dad, and this is an impossible job, and we know how much tragedy he's had. He's had enough tragedy. But… does this mean we're never going to be able to talk to him again?”

It was Garcia’s question that left us all speechless. It wasn’t just that Hotch had entered the witness protection program. It was the fact he had left us. Just like that. Like we didn’t matter. Not even saying goodbye. Turning his back to everything we had done together all the years we were at the BAU. It was… shocking to say the least.

- “We don't have a choice.”- Rossi assured us- “It's not ideal, obviously. But as his friends, we have to support his decision.”

- “The only way for Hotch to guarantee Jack's safety is if they both stay off the grid.”- Emily commented with such sorry eyes you could tell she didn’t want to give us that news. No one would. It was heartbreaking for the team.

- “And one more thing.”- Rossi added, but my wife interrupted him.

- “Come on papa! We can’t deal with any more news today. It’s too early to drink, too soon to retire. What do you want from us?”

- “Trust me, ragazza, you are gonna like this”- Rossi cut her a short smile and explained. “Hotch spoke to the director as to who should replace him. Don't worry, it won't be me. You know I'm allergic to paperwork.”

- “Aren’t we all?”- (Y/N) whispered and made me chuckle as David finally announced.

- “But Hotch's final request was that Emily Prentiss becomes the BAU's new bureau chief.”

- “Thank the universe for silver linings.”- Garcia mumbled as we all nearly clapped in excitement. That was actually good news.

- “Ok, I just heard about all of this myself a few minutes ago.”- Prentiss was almost apologizing for her new position.

- “But you are gonna say yes, aren’t you Em?”- (Y/N) asked her immediately, and Prentiss just stared at her not knowing what to answer.- “I mean, we all miss you, you miss us. This place is finally feeling a little like home with you around…”

- “Thank you, Reid.”- Em replied with a silly grin, enjoying calling my wife by her new last name, though it wasn’t new at all at that point.

- “Congratulations, Emily.”- Luke said and smiled at her.

- “This'll be good, right?”- I asked, trying to stay positive at that major change.

- “You kidding me? This'll be great.”- JJ was nearly beaming with the announcement.

- “I am really happy for you.”- Tara added with a warm smile. But Prentiss shook her head as she stared at us.

- “Thank you, guys, but I haven't exactly signed on yet.”

- “What is there to analyze? We are dying without you, we need you, you are our family.”- (Y/N) nearly glared at Em as she excused herself and Rossi continued talking before my wife said anything else.

- “Everyone knows you have a lot to consider, but the brass needs an answer by tomorrow.”

- “Understood.”- Prentiss just nodded as Garcias’s phone beeped.

- “I hate to interrupt the bad news/good news with bad news/bad news, but we've got three missing kids in Delaware.”

And just like that, life continued. I hated it. I needed time to process what was happening. To think about what was Hotch doing, and how it would affect us all. But no, I didn’t have time at all. It was all changing again, and I hate change so much it’s hard to even describe how I felt.

Pointless. That’s the word. It all started feeling pointless.

- “Can we please have a quiet weekend at home?”- (Y/N) whispered as we all gathered our things after briefing the next case. We had to be in the jet in a few minutes.

- “Sure chipmunk. Anything in mind?”

- “Pajamas, our babies, movies and books. Maybe some home-baked cookies.”

- “Sounds like the best plan.”- I kissed the top of her head and she sighed.

- “Can you imagine being Hotch?”- she whispered as I stayed close to her.- “I mean, Jack was being followed by a serial killer. If anything like that happened to Raven or Vinny, I’d…”- I couldn’t let her follow that rabbit hole, so I tried to stop her before she continued spiraling down.

- “They are safe. We are safe.”- I whispered and kissed her forehead.- “And I will never let anything happen to any of you, chipmunk. Never.”

- “I’m sure that’s what Hotch said to himself every day while he worked here.”- (Y/N) seemed lost in her head as she mumbled those words. I held her close to me and sighed knowing what was happening was as hard for me as it was for her.

- “And he stayed true to his word. Nothing will happen to Jack.”- I assured her, trying to make her feel calm.

- “Not after what happened to Hailey.”- my wife whispered and her voice sounded brokenhearted. - “Sometimes I wonder which will be the drop that breaks the camel’s back for us at the BAU.”

I stared at (Y/N) not knowing what to say. So I kept my mouth shut as her eyes begged me for an answer.

- “Come on, Reids.”- Luke interrupted us as he passed by my desk. - “They are waiting for us in the jet.”

- “Yeah, we’ll be right there.”- (Y/N) replied and took a step back from me slowly. I held her hand and looked into her eyes, trying to show her how serious I was.

- “I will never let anything hurt you, or our babies.”

- “I know, hon. Me neither.”

The mood on the plane was weird. (Y/N) sat next to Prentiss and Rossi and kept asking questions about Hotch the first minutes we were there, while I walked to the kitchenette to pour us some coffee.

- “There's a lot to process before my first cup.”- JJ said as we stood there, both of us craving caffeine. She handed me a cup for myself and poured one for herself.

- “Thank you.”- I replied and grabbed another mug for my wife as she just kept talking.

- “I can't believe he's been dealing with this for weeks and we never knew.”

- “That part really doesn't surprise me. He's always kept things to himself. I guess it was just his way of protecting us.”- I said in a lower voice, ‘cos I really didn’t want to talk much more about the subject if we were supposed to be focusing on the case.

- “If anyone targeted my boys, I'd do anything to keep them safe.”- JJ whispered and looked at me wanting to open up about how she felt about the entire situation. But we didn’t have time.

- “I know how you feel”- and before she could continue talking, I grabbed the two mugs and walked back to my wife.

- “Thank you, batsy.”- she smiled and grabbed the cup from my hands as Rossi asked Emily if she was ready to test drive leading the team. No one was ready for that change. But change doesn’t wait for anyone.

(Y/N)’s point of view

I hated everything. Hotch was gone. Out of the blue. My unit chief. My friend. Out of the blue, just gone. Forever. And why? ‘Cos work had gotten too much of a threat for his family. That was my biggest fear and it happened to the strongest man in the BAU. It meant it could happen to any of us. Including my family. I just didn’t know how to deal with that fear at the moment. So I tried to push it aside and focus on work. We had to find three missing kids.

Yeah, kids. ‘Cos life was not going to make things easier for me.

The town was small, the kind of place where everybody knew each other. We were at the police station talking with the chief, Coop. Spencer was trying to find a connection between the three missing kids and the ghost story in town. Apparently, way back, a local mental institution burned down and inmates escaped, town legend has it that those who were never found moved into abandoned houses around town. And considering the kids were into horror movies, they might have tried to get into one of those houses and god knows what was waiting in there.

Sadly, there was a history of missing kids in town. Back in 1993, the Henson twins had disappeared at thirteen and their bodies were never found. We didn’t know if we were trying to find the same unsub or not, but it was the only lead we had. Rossi asked me to stay with him and Tara at the station, talking with the parents, as Spencer, Luke, and JJ went to the area where the Hensen kids were last seen, to try to find any clues.

It wasn’t easy talking with the parents. It never is. But that day was especially hard. There I was, playing my BAU SSA part, all together, when deep down, I was as scared as those poor parents, wondering if my kids were in fact safe. Not just at that minute, but ever. Was I helping make the world a better place or just exposing my family to the rage of any random serial killer?

- “Bella donna…”- Rossi announced his entrance to the room where I stood in front of the board, not really staring at the pictures of the missing kids, but trying to find a sense of everything that happened around us.

- “Coronel Cannelloni.”- I replied with a tiny smile.- “How did it go with Jimmy Ridley?”

- “Penelope got nothing.”- I hummed and kept staring at the board.- “Anything else on the parents?”

- “No, they are just desperate. And I totally understand.”- Rossi walked until he was standing next to me, staring at the same board, and kept quiet for a moment. - “Are you going to ask how I’m holding up?”

- “More like trying to find the right words to ask you how you are doing without sounding condescending”- I nodded and sighed.

- “You just nailed it. I’m…”

- “Mad”- Rossi took the words from my lips as I nodded.

- “Yeah, and terrified.”

- “Your kids are going to be ok, you can trust me on that. I don’t think Spencer would ever leave anything to hurt you or those bambinos.”

- “I know. Or at least, I want to think I do. I just…”- I made a pause and turned to look at him, trying to really find the right words to explain how I felt.- “It’s just pointless, you know? Everyone leaves. Why are we staying? Why am I missing my baby’s first words or first steps to save a world that feels like it doesn't even deserve to be saved?”

David Rossi opened my mouth, but no word came from him. He just stared at me for a moment, and then opened his arms, and just hugged me tight, as I kept fighting the tears back.

- “He was my friend. And now he is gone.”

- “I know.”

- “Like Morgan, like Blake, like Callahan, like Elle…”

- “It’s ok to feel like nothing makes sense.”- Rossi whispered and just kept trying to keep me together.

- “How do I do this job when I am questioning the entire time if it’s actually worthy of everything I am missing?”

- “Just keep in mind everyone we are helping here.”- Rossi kissed the top of my head. - “And that we all love you. You are like my kid, I’ve watched you grow and become an amazing young woman, who is raising the most incredible kids with the man she loves. You are doing everything right. Never doubt that.”

I nodded and sighed as Rossi kept his eyes on me. Tara Lewis walked into the room and stared at us, confused.

- “Just a little pep talk.”- I explained and waved as David chuckled.

- “Seems today is the right day to get or give one of those to the team.”- Tara cut me a smile and added.- “We have footage of the cornfield last night. The rest of the team are on their way back.”

- “Great. Hopefully, there’s something on the kids in it.”- I said and felt my phone humming. It was a text from my husband.

- “Miss you. Be there in ten.”- and those six words automatically made me feel better.

To be completely honest, I was miserable the entire time. Prentiss asked me to stay with the parents, which didn’t help my mood at all. Just being with those couples who felt guilty that anything bad could happen to their kids was too easy for me to relate to. Spencer kept texting me, with updates from the field, info on Jimmy Ridley’s house, and asking if I needed anything.

- “Just come back safe.”- I replied. They had to bring Ridley back for interrogation ‘cos they found some of the kids’ belongings at his house. My guts kept telling me he wasn’t the unsub, but there was something weird happening in that town. All small towns creep me out. There are usually too many secrets for so few people living in them.

Less than fifteen minutes later, my husband stood in front of me and hugged me quickly.

- “How are you, chipmunk?”

- “As tired as I was when you left, honey bunny.”- I replied and felt his lips on my cheek, as Prentiss stood by our side arguing.

- “I’m not even sure I’ll accept this job and you are forcing me to give you a warning for PDA at work.”

- “Sorry”- Spencer and I said at the same time as we moved from each other, but our friend just laughed and kept walking.

- “Shit, I missed making fun of you.”

- “You are lucky I love you.”- I replied and followed her- “How did the interview go?”

- “Luke talked to him. Your guts were right. He is most likely not our guy.” - the team got together and we analyzed what we had, which to be honest, still wasn’t much.

- “His house is a puzzle, but other than the bicycle helmet, we couldn't find any sign of the kids.”- Em explained and Alvez agreed

- “ I think this guy's too simple to be who we're looking for.”

- “The kids were tracing the steps of the Henson’s missing kids. Maybe we should put an eye on that investigation.”- I looked at Prentiss, and she nodded.

- “Who called it in back then?”- JJ asked and my husband replied.

- “Their mom did, but she died a few years ago. Their older brother Deeley was with them that night.”- Spencer added and showed a picture of the three brothers together.

- “Yeah, we met him on the roadside.”- Prentiss explained. - “According to Coop, he lives across town and he went out of his way to find us on Route 7.

- “Sounds like he's trying to insert himself into our investigation.”- Rossi pointed out

- “Except when we asked him to talk, he refused.”- Spencer refuted the theory and looked at me.

- “Maybe he just needs someone who listens. I’m sure it was hard for him, investigation in small towns can turn into hell.”- I was rambling out loud, but by the look on my husband’s face, he was on board.

- “Maybe it's time to give talking to him another try.”- Prentiss suggested.

- “You want to take a ride?”- Alvez asked Spencer

- “Sure.”

- “Don’t flirt with my husband!”- I warned him, joking obviously. Luke chuckled and Spencer frowned confused.- “Watch out, Alvez!”

- “I would never even think about getting in between you two, Mrs Reid.”

- “It’s Doctor Reid, for you.”- I teased Luke and he just chuckled.

- “See you later, chipmunk.”- Spencer held my hand for a moment and squeezed it, sweetly.

- “Take care, honey.”

- “If Jimmy really isn't our unsub, we're back to one.”- JJ said the second Luke and Spencer left the room.

- “Let's go dig up the Henson files.”- Rossi suggested and she agreed. - “I'll buy you a cup of coffee on the way.”

And just like that, it was just Tara, Em, and I in the room. I hadn’t been alone with Prentiss after what had happened that morning. Mostly along with the team. And I didn’t really know what to say or how to ask her what was going on in her head.

- “What are you thinking?”- luckily, Tara did it for me.

- “A lot of circumstantial evidence against Jimmy Ridley, but I wanted to go over…”- Prentiss started ranting about the case, but Lewis quickly corrected her

- “I was actually wondering what you were thinking about staying.”

- “Oh. Right. Well, uh, more pros than cons.”- Emily explained and looked at me with a sweet smile. - “I love this group and the job, but…”

- “But you've got a life back in London”- Tarah finished her sentence nodding

- “And don’t forget she also has a boyfriend on the other side of the pond.”- I added with my worst British accent.

- “Yeah….”- Prentiss was almost holding her breath as she answered, probably ‘cos she didn’t really want to deal with any of that at the moment.

- “Have you told him yet?- but clearly, Tara wasn’t going to let it go.

- “I haven't had the chance. We jumped on the jet.”- I knew it was the logical answer, we really didn’t have much time for any personal problem. But this was a big deal, and it sounded like Em was making up excuses to delay facing the situation.

- “You should call him.”- Tara simply replied and stared at her. Em nodded immediately.

- “I will.”- but neither of us moved. Instead, the two of us just stared at her, waiting for her reaction.- “You mean right this second.”

- “Yeah.”- I chuckled along with Tara as we both started walking out of the room Emily grabbed her cell phone and dialed.- “Hey!”- we heard her saying as we left the room.

- “Thank you for that.”- I whispered and looked at Lewis.- “She needed a boost to start dealing with the facts.

- “I can recognize a fellow woman with issues dealing with hard topics.”

- “If that’s your superpower, I am not jealous.”- I joked and Tara chuckled.

- “It’s more like my natural reaction. I blame all the years I worked as a psychologist. My brain is wired to start treating anyone around me, even when I am not supposed to.”

- “Remind me to never stay alone with you in a room for more than a minute.”

- “Come on, (Y/N). I would never profile a team member… especially one with a profiler husband, who can track me and make me pay.”- I chuckled at the thought of Spencer avenging me, not ‘cos I didn’t think it was possible, but because it was exactly what would happen. And it was one of the reasons why I loved him so much.

A search party was organized to cover the whole area where the kids might have been taken. By nighttime, we were desperate, because we were running out of time to get the kids back safely. Spencer and Luke never came back to the station after talking with Henson, they stayed helping with the search. Emily left to meet them as soon as they found a bag pack that belonged to one of the kids, so I never got the chance to ask her what had happened with her boyfriend.

It wasn’t the right time either, we had to save those kids.

We didn’t have much news until Rossi, Tara and I got a call from Luke and the rest of the team. We finally had a name.

- “This Clements guy used to hunt out here and someone still using his traps.”- Alvez explained to us what they knew about the suspect after finding a trap with fresh bait in the middle of the woods.

- “I'll patch in Garcia.”- Rossi dialed her number and her voice made me smile for a moment.

- “I was feeling forgotten.”

- “Not on my watch.”- I replied immediately- “We need all your intel. What do you have on a local man named Reginald Clements?”

- “Reginald Clements.”- we could all hear her typing as fast as possible and a few seconds later, we heard an avalanche of information.- “Uh... He's lived there all his life. He, uh, appears to be, I think the words for it are "off his rocker." Lot of bats in the belfry. B-a-n-a-n-a-s.”

- “Tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car?”- I recited the lyrics of the Grease song and Tara bit her lips next to me, trying not to laugh.

- “I am going to send you what I find as I find it so you can follow along at home. He's from one of the founding families, but this Reginald has quite the past. He did time at that mental hospital that burned down, but he was there before the fire.

- “For what?”- JJ asked from the other side of the line.

- “Assault with a deadly weapon. But it was the bodily harm he did to himself that put him away. He claimed he needed protection from aliens. His delusions ranged from the world ending to major conspiracies, cag him to live entirely off the grid. And, you know, I'm all for solar panels and making your own kombucha, but this guy took it to the extreme. When he was 18, he got in trouble for abduction of a minor. And get this. His defense was loneliness.”

- “When was he released?”- I heard my husband asking

- “Winter of 1982.”- Pen replied in a second.

- “So if it was him, he was out for a year before the Hensons disappeared. It could have been for a dual purpose… Survival and companionship.”- Emily suggested, and it made all the sense in the world.

- “If he got the Henson’s kids he might have never gotten to abduct anyone else for the rest of his life.”- I commented on that train of thought. - “He already got what he wanted, there was no need to put himself in danger again.”

- “Is Clements dead, Garcia?”- Rossi asked the elemental question

- “I don't have a death certificate, but if he's alive, he'd be 82.”

- “Could he have been strong enough to hold the boys and set hunting traps? ”- Luke asked, though it sounded like he was rambling on his own to settle his own head.

- “Doubtful.”- David answered his question, but I knew there was something more.

- “What’s your theory, homewrecker?”- I asked him

- “I'm thinking the next logical step. If he didn't kill the Hensons, he's had them this whole time.”

- “But how would he maintain control, especially once they were strong enough to escape?”- Tara questioned

- “If you think about it, it wouldn’t be that hard.”- I replied, picturing the whole scene in my head clearly.- “He's already got them isolated, and their home life wasn't great. They were young and naive enough to buy all the conspiracy theories he fed them. It might have worked.”

- “Exactly!”- Luke supported me. - “He believes that the world is coming to an end. He could have convinced them of his own delusions.”

- “So one paranoid survivalist bred two more.”- JJ concluded and I nodded, though no one but Tara and David could see me.

- “And if the Henson twins have taken our 3 boys, who knows what they're gonna do with them.” - Spencer’s words gave me chills. Not of the good kind. They meant those poor kids had been raised by a psychopath who brainwashed them and ruined their future.

- “We need an address, Garcia.”- it was the only thing I could think of at the moment.

- “On your phones.”

The team got there on time and saved the three kids. Plus, the Henson kids, reunite them with their older brother. We don’t usually get happy endings, but that day, we did. I finally had the pleasure of telling the families their kids were coming back home safe. And it was a heartwarming moment when my husband opened the front door of the station and the three kids ran to their parent’s arms. It was hard not to cry as I watched them all hugging and kissing their kid’s cheeks.

Spencer held my hand as he stood by my side, and I leaned onto his shoulder, feeling my heart filled with love and contentment. For the first time in what seemed to be forever.

- “Moments like this make everything worth it.”- Spencer whispered as we kept staring at the emotive family reunion going on in front of us.

- “Yeah…”- I mumbled and rested my head on his shoulder.- “Having Prentiss here is also very nice.”

- “Do you think she might want to stay?”- my husband made sure to whisper those words in my ear, so no one else from the team could hear us. I shrugged and didn’t move my eyes from the kids. One mother took a bag with snacks from her purse and gave it to her son. She probably made it as soon as she heard her son was missing, scared he could be starving. It was one of the sweetest gestures I’ve ever seen. Something only a mother can understand, I guess.

- “We could just ask her. This team will be miserable if she decides to leave. Can you imagine? Getting a new guy for the job? Having to meet a random agent?”-

- “Like Alvez?”- I could almost hear the smile on Spencer’s words.

- “He is fine. Garcia still hates him, though.”

- “Of course, she does…”- my phone dinged and a picture of our babies playing on the carpet, watching Paw Patrol warmed our hearts. Mom had taken them to our place.

- “Ready to go home?”- I asked my husband and he nodded, still holding my hand tight.

The flight back home was very short. But we still found a moment to talk to Emily. We knew it was too soon, but we had to ask her what she was going to do, ‘cos honestly, what had happened had been too hard. We needed some silver lining.

- “You ok?” - JJ asked Em as the three of us walked toward her on the jet. Emily was sitting on her own, lost in thought, looking over the window.

- “Yeah. I'm just glad we found those kids.”

- “Oh, yeah, me, too. But, uh, I was talking about that other thing.”- JJ sat in front of Prentiss as me and Spencer stood by our friend, waiting for her reaction. And what did she do? She asked how we felt about the entire situation, ‘cos of course she was worried about us.

- “I haven't had a chance to talk to you guys. What do you think?”

- “I think we've been through a lot of changes and we always figure it out, you know?”- Spencer started the most rational speech of his life.- “Morgan left, and now Hotch, but if you stay, it'll be ok.”

- “If you ask me, honestly, you being here is the only thing keeping me sane right now”- I said from my guts, not my brain.- “How did it go with your boyfriend?”

- “I talked to Mark, and he is gonna be here next week for a visit.”- Prentiss announced, absolutely not sure if that was good or bad news. So I did the only thing I knew how to do: I started making plans.

- “We could show him around the tourist places, maybe have brunch…”

- “Let’s see how it goes when he gets her first, (Y/N).”- Em smiled at me and stopped my planning in a second.

- “Roger that.”

- “They need an answer in the morning, right?”- JJ’s words came close to a whisper, ‘cos I’m guessing neither of us wanted to push her, but we also needed answers.

- “I know.”- Prentiss sighed and looked outside the window. I turned to Spencer and bit my lips, as he stated the facts, crouching down next to Em’s seat.

- “Here's the truth. If you don't take the position, they're gonna bring in some stranger to be the Unit chief. And I don't know how that'll turn out, but the learning curve could be brutal.”

- “Yeah, I mean, one thing is bringing a new SSA to the team, which is always a curveball. But a new Unit Chief, that’s a completely different thing.”- I pointed out and cut Prentiss a short smile.- “And you know how I act with authorities… I am not good at random people telling me what to do.”

- “It'll probably stink for us, but…”- JJ was trying to be rational. - “Look, we're your friends and we'll support you no matter what you decide.”

There was a silence between the four of us. Prentiss took a deep breath and made eye contact with us all.

- “I'm gonna stay.

- “Oh, thank God!”- JJ nearly yelled, relieved. I opened my arms and hugged Prentiss in a second.

- “Best news ever!!”

- “Are you serious?”- Spencer asked nearly in shock.

- “Yes!”- Em replied as soon as I let her go.- “I love being here, and I've really missed you guys.”

- “We have missed you, too.”- JJ kept smiling as I giggled and my husband stared at Emily, still not believing what she had just said.

- “Honestly, you have no idea how much.”

Spencer’s point of view

Later that night, when we were nearly ready to go back home, Garcia got us all together in the conference room for a toast. We had to celebrate something good had happened after all: Emily was staying. And no matter how much Hotch’s departure was hurting us, there was some silver lining to treasure. We were all holding our glasses when Rossi started a very touching speech.

- “Well, let me just say something to everyone. I've been in and out of here since 1978, but I know this is where I belong. I've seen a lot of great agents pass through those doors, and a lot of them have moved on. Now, most of this team has been together for over a decade. Some of you have actually started a family together. I promise you, that doesn't happen often.”- Rossi smiled at me and winked- “Now, I've heard the rumblings about how lucky we are, and it's true, but the truth is, it's what happens… When we're not on a case that has defined who we are. We stand beside one another, through good, through bad, because we're family. So… To Aaron and Jack, I don't know who's luckier, but it warms my heart to know that they'll be together every day and safe. And to Emily, our friend, and new Unit Chief. Welcome home.”

We toasted and smiled. Yes, we were happy and lucky to be together again. The team was facing two major changes in less than six months. Derek left, Hotch left, and we had a new Unit Chief. It felt like things were changing too much too fast.

That very same night, after putting our babies to sleep, I sat at the kitchen table with my wife and two cups of herbal tea and just held hands as neither of us knew how to start that conversation.

- “So…”- she finally whispered after eleven minutes of silence.- “What are we going to do?”

- “I honestly don’t know.”- that was my best answer because I really didn’t know where to go after what was happening.- “I mean, at least we have Emily back. That’s a good thing.”

- “Yeah… but, I’m scared.”- (Y/N) murmured, probably ashamed of dealing with how she felt. - “If Aaron couldn’t keep Jack safe from serial killers…”

- “We could do it, you know”- I replied knowing where her train of thought was going.- “We are not Unit Chiefs, we are not…”

- “We are dealing with psychopaths daily, Spencer. You know that.”- she paused and looked into my eyes with honest concern.- “Mr. Scratch is still out there…”

- “But he doesn't want us. He wanted Hotch.”

- “Ok, so what if Cat Addams escapes from prison.”- my wife suggested and the mere thought of it gave me chills.- “She swore she wanted to avenge what you did to get. What if she does? What if she hurts you? or your mom, or us? What then?”- her voice trembled and I quickly stood up and wrapped my arms around her. She did the same, holding onto me, nearly shaking.- “I had never been so afraid before, Spencer. Suddenly, I no longer feel like I can keep our family safe.”

- “We can do it, chipmunk.”- I kissed the top of her head and looked at her, holding her face with both hands.- “We will be safe. We are safe. Nothing bad will happen to us.”

- “But…”- tears blurred her eyes and fell down her cheeks.- “Promise me, Spencer. Swear to me if anyone threatens us, we’ll leave. We are not putting our family in danger. If someone is trying to hurt us, we will join the program and vanish. No playing heroes. Not putting anyone on the line. If there is a threat, we leave.”

- “I swear.”- I replied immediately, running my thumbs across her cheeks, and wiping off her tears.

And that was the day I lied to my wife.

I held her in my arms and kissed her cheeks and lips until she calmed down. Then we got into bed and cuddled until she fell asleep. I wasn’t as lucky, and stayed up staring at the ceiling, thinking I had a lot to plan. I needed to make my wife feel secure and keep my babies safe, no matter what. And my mother had to get better. I needed a way to fix everything. Make us happy, and healthy. There had to be a way to do it. I just needed to find it. 

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[pharawee]

Gather around, fellow BL aficionados, it's time for part four of my Pit Babe novel commentary.

(And if you want to catch up, here are parts 1, 2 and 3.)

A word of warning: since I'm pretty far into the novel now (every post summarises five chapters) expect heavy spoilers, plot twists and revelations.

Oh, and omegaverse shenanigans. So many omegaverse shenanigans. You've been warned.

Also, a small warning for talk about and the aftermath of SA. As usual, please take care. 💜

Now, where were we? Oh, yeah: Way is the big bad enigma and he's been hypnotising Babe all this time - but gently (tm) because, you see, Way really, really loves Babe so that makes it all right...

Yeah, no. Get fucked, Way.

Currently, Way is still passed out on the floor, but as soon as Babe has come to terms with whatever the hell just happened, Charlie (who came to Babe's rescue just in time, remember?) offers to wake him up.

How? Oh, that's easy. He can put people to sleep at will. It's one of the many powers he absorbed from other powered alphas. That's his whole thing: he steals powers and just keeps them - like Rogue in X-Men but without any of the downsides. And as long as he's alive, the powers stay with him, never to return to their previous owner. Unless they die, in which case Charlie loses that particular power forever. Which in turn means that if Charlie dies... but keep that in mind for later.

Oh, and another one of Charlie's powers: changing his scent at will. Goddammit, Charlie.

As for how he knew that Babe was in danger? Jeff told him because he can see into the future. X-Men omegaverse, here we go.

But anyway, when Way wakes up he's confused because the last thing he remembers is SAing his supposed best friend. Now there's Charlie staring daggers at him, and one very angry Babe. Since Way is pathetic (but not the good kind) he attempts to explain: yes, he's actually Babe and Charlie's adoptive brother. Their father sent him to lure Babe back home and, well, get him pregnant. That was ten (10) years ago.

But, you see, Way is such a nice guy (tm), he didn't want to force Babe! Instead, he set out to ruin him for everyone else, thereby making it impossible for him to grow or heal or trust or love. Whenever Babe met someone he connected with, Way swooped in to poison his mind. And whenever Babe recoiled from that new connection, he turned to Way - the only person he could 100% trust. Or so he was made to believe.

So the Babe we meet at the beginning of the novel (and series) isn't really Babe at all. It's the version of Babe Way wants him to be - and for what? For ten years of pining and mindfuckery? What the hell kind of plan is this?

Oh yeah, the kind that gets you punched in the face. Thank you, Babe, you're really speaking my mind here.

And this is the part where the novel really shines because it doesn't just gloss over the implications of abuse. It doesn't leave Way's many empty apologies uncommented:

"I know what I did was unforgivable. I—" "Did you just realize this? Are you like this because I found out just in time?" Babe's voice boomed as anger flared in his heart. No matter how hard he tried to suppress it, he couldn't. "When I'm unconscious, you can assume it's okay to do it, right?" "I didn't want to do it at all…" "I don't care!" Babe shouted. "The point is, I don't want it! And you have no right to do this to me!"

But when Way's attempts to nice-guy himself out of his predicament don't work, he tries to shift the blame onto Charlie. Because Charlie lied too and, after all, didn't Way warn Babe about him?

Yeahhh, he's still trying to manipulate Babe. Way isn't sorry at all, he's only sorry he's been caught. Or, as the novel aptly puts it:

For Way, this might be like a love confession. But for Babe, it was no different from admitting his crimes.

But the novel doesn't leave it at that.

"So what's next?" Babe asked in a calm voice. "Should I thank you?" "What…" "I asked if I should thank you because you didn't rape me?" [...] "Should I thank you for not forcing me to bear your child?" "Babe…" “Even for my life, my body, and everything about me, I still have to wait for your mercy?”

And that's that. Ten years of (false) friendship have been erased just like that.

Really, I'm sorry for adding so many quotes but this whole chapter is just perfect in its blunt directness. It excels in giving Babe back his autonomy - the very thing Way has taken from him.

We'll return to our regularly scheduled omegaverse shenanigans after this bit:

"Did you know that every time you said that [there was never anyone suitable for me], it made me feel like I didn't deserve anyone's love?" [...] "And it's as if the only love I can receive is love from you…" Babe's sobs were so loud that his voice trailed off, but he took a deep breath and continued talking: "…but you never asked me what I really want." [...] "You only care about your own desires. You want to have me. You want to have children. You tried to make me love you and then agree to have children with you. Even though you always knew that I never wanted to have children." "I know you don't want to have children. And I know why," Way replied with a look that seemed to understand. But Babe knew that he didn't understand anything, not at all. "But because I know. That's why I want to change your mind." "It's not your job to change me."

And then, when Way has the audacity to try and hug him, Babe throws him over his shoulder and slams him right onto the floor, and even Charlie is like, damn, guess for a moment there I forgot how amazing Pit Babe is.

Damn right he is!

Later that night, things are winding down and Charlie insists on staying with Babe - just to make sure he's all right. Because unlike some people (!) he actually knows when to give Babe some space, and so he settles down on the couch in the living room while Babe stays in his bedroom.

But, understandably, Babe can't sleep. There's too much on his mind, none of it particularly good. He misses Charlie and, really, he's in dire need of an emergency hug.

It's Babe who approaches Charlie (only of course Charlie knew all along because he has super hearing now and he heard Babe's tossing and turning. Goddammit Charlie). They reconcile and it's really sweet because, in stark contrast to Way, Charlie's apology is heartfelt and reassuring and full of compassion. He also knows that Babe has been through a lot, so when Babe engages in their usual ritual of make-up sex, Charlie is hesitant:

Babe is so strong that he can lift bigger people and throw them to the ground. But believe me, no one is mentally strong enough to not be hurt by dirty things like that.

I just love how clear and concise the novel is on this part.

Anyway, they talk it out and Babe says that he wants to try anyway. What follows is a really sweet sex scene (but don't worry, Babe's still getting railed by his daddy to his heart's content - some things just don't change). There's talk about wild horses. I don't know why and honestly I'd rather not dwell on it.

Meanwhile, Way is being chewed out by Khun Tony (aka everyone's least favourite adoptive father). He's quite a bit upset but, honestly, what did he expect? He's the one with the stupid plan in the first place. Why did he even agree to let Way pine into Babe's general direction FOR TEN YEARS until he maybe catches feelings? The dude can hypnotise people! Just order him to do his evil immoral job!

But anyway, it's too late now. Babe's powers are already gone so breeding him (whyyy...) is pointless. Tony has a new target now: Charlie.

To my immense relief even Way is like, ew.

But it matters little because daddy dearest has contigency plans in place (and where were these plans TEN YEARS AGO - worst evil alpha breeder ever!). He orders Way to leave X-Hunter and return home immediately - and who knows, once Charlie is out of the picture Babe might end up as leftovers for him. Okay then.

In happier news, Charlie wakes up the next day with Babe's hand on his, well, little Charlie. I'm not being a prude here, that's what Babe calls it. It's a whole conversation, followed by - you guessed it - more sex.

Something is different this time, however. Without hesitation, Babe tells Charlie that he loves him, and then he asks him to be his boyfriend - to which Charlie eventually agrees. More sex happens. Actually, all of this happened during a blowjob which is very on brand for Babe. Things get disgustingly cute when Babe realises that this is the first time they're ~making love~ as boyfriend and boyfriend. This leaves him incredibly shy. Thanks to Way's meddling, he never had a boyfriend, after all. This is his first time being in love, and it's exactly as adorable as it sounds. Only with more mindblowing sex.

This includes sex in Charlie's supercar after a training session right on the racetrack (again I ask, have you even seen the interior of a racecar? How? Where? And who's cleaning this up? The mechanics??) as Jeff and Alan watch from afar.

"Why don't the two of them get out of the car?", Jeff said quietly as he looked at Charlie's car which had been parked near the finish line for a while and he saw no signs of it coming down.

Oh, my sweet summer child.

But yes, I'm happy to report that Jeff and Alan are probably going to be a thing in the novel too. This Jeff isn't a mechanic though. He doesn't even study engineering but oceanography (because he likes the ocean even though he's never seen it - live your dreams, my dude!).

As they sit and bicker, Jeff is suddenly struck by what seems to be another vision of the future. Whatever it is, it can't be good because it makes Jeff cry. Uh-oh.

He asks Charlie to meet him at his condo, and Charlie immediately notices that something's wrong. Only this time it's not Babe he needs to worry about. It's all of them.

I'm worried too but mostly for my own sanity.

Remember when I first explained about Tony's evil breeding program? Ah, those were easier, more pleasant times. Because now Tony figures that if he can't get an enigma to impregnate Charlie, he'll just get Charlie to impregnate an omega (because apparently there's a 50% chance that the baby will be an alpha with special traits - why is this novel explaining Mendel's laws of omegaverse inheritance to me?) .

Jeff is an omega.

And this is what Jeff saw: if they don't act now, at some point in the future Tony will have Charlie and Jeff brought back "home" and use aphrodisiacs on them (one up for the trope counter!). Jeff will get pregnant and as soon as their baby is born Tony will dispose of both Jeff and Charlie. This will cause Babe to seek revenge and get killed in the process.

What did I just read?

The novel keeps this from us for a while, and just casually mentions that Charlie isn't overly worried. He even finds the time to be jealous when one of Babe's old acquaintances shows up to Charlie's next race. They argue. The race starts without them reconciling, so naturally that means Charlie has an accident during the race.

It's bad enough that he's transported to the ER. But as the whole team anxiously awaits any kind of news, Babe realises in dawning horror that his heightened senses are slowly returning to him. He can hear Charlie's slowing heartbeat and the doctors fighting to reanimate him.

He listens as Charlie is pronounced dead.

The novel then cuts to Charlie's funeral which is only attended by a handful of people, mostly members of Team X-Hunter. Babe does not cope well at all but at least he's got Alan and Jeff to take care of organisational things.

Speaking of Alan and Jeff. These two have grown quite a bit closer. Close enough that Jeff asks Alan to let him take a look at Charlie's crashed car. The police are already investigating but Jeff wants to see for himself. Hm.

Meanwhile, Babe is alone at his condo, going through several stages of grief all at once (really, it's heartbreaking but so is the length of this post so I'm trying to keep things short). He's interrupted during the bargaining stage by someone knocking at the door. It's Way and he's come to offer his help. Babe might be grieving but he's not stupid, and so they meet up at a coffee shop nearby.

Way all but confirms that Charlie's accident was Tony's doing. What he meant to do was incapacitate Charlie but unfortunately Charlie died. OOPS. What a brilliant plan, really.

Seems like even Way has had enough of Tony's evil schemes so he's banded together with another enigma in order to bring Tony down. Said enigma is actually Tony's eldest "son" who seems to have escaped from his control to do his own (financially very successful) thing and bide his time until Tony eventually slips up.

That enigma is none other than Pete.

That's right. Pete and Way have teamed up to bring down Tony, and they're asking Babe to help them. Babe tentatively agrees.

While this is going down, Jeff visits some random uncle's secluded house. He's greeted by none other than Charlie (now somewhat worse for wear but very much still alive) who's faked his own death with the help of a man named Reval. Charlie feels guilty for lying to Babe again but they can't involve him in this: once hypnotised, he's still under Way's influence (uh-oh...) and could risk all of their careful planning.

Their plan? Getting rid of Charlie's powers before Tony can get to them.

This is where Reval comes in. He also has powers: he can somehow disconnect an alpha (or omega or enigma, I suppose) from their powers - which is apparently a very difficult and time-consuming process (and would otherwise kill the alpha), especially with someone with as many powers as Charlie.

Why does Reval do this? Oh, he's Babe's real father who's been in hiding until now out of shame and guilt (and some memory loss). Surprise!

Also, very convenient. 🤡

[melbatron5000]

Maggie, Maggie

#1 Do not take my theories to Neil! None of them, nohow!

#2 Big fat spoiler, which I suppose I should have said on my previous theories, but hey. Big fat spoiler!

Here we go, I think I know something new.

I've seen a few blogs where people have suggested that Maggie is Jesus 2.0. I didn't think so at first, but now I do. Maggie is Jesus 2.0, and Crowley and Aziraphale damn well know it. Here's my evidence:

See this post about how I think Crowley and Aziraphale are hiding something. Hiding someONE? Yeah, I think so. Who the hell would they be hiding? Who would an angel and demon who averted Armageddon be hiding, especially if they are expecting a second go 'round? The BIG one, as Crowley says? Fucking Jesus, that's who. Okay. Now we're cooking with gas.

Maggie is clothing-coded as both a demon and an angel. Y'know, much like Adam is described in Good Omens the novel. "Part demon, part angel, all human."

Maggie is a bit of a goodie two-shoes. "Never was that sort of teenager, never wanted to drink, no judgment." Oh, yeah? A little better than other people, are you? Not in a hoity-toity way, just, a little better than others. A little.

Loved that record store since she was a baby, huh? How did she remember it since she was a baby? Much like Adam remembered the other two babies he was in the hospital with, as described in Good Omens the novel. "You never forget your first friends."

Maggie calls Aziraphale an angel. Not as if she knows, but as if she subconsciously knows. If she is Jesus 2.0, I don't think she's come into her powers yet.

Aziraphale expects her to be able to sense the archangels when they come to ask about Gabriel and the 25 Lazarii miracle. And the whole time he's asking her about the record, he's looking out the window very nervously, repeatedly. I've seen a few people note that a car horn sounds and he looks at it anxiously, and that does happen, but he is anxiously looking out the window the whole time. What is he watching for? In case someone notices him talking to Jesus, maybe? And when she doesn't understand what he's talking about with the archangels, he shrugs it off and refuses to explain, as if he has suddenly remembered that of course she won't be able to sense them, not yet, anyway.

The ball: Not only does she want to stay behind and help without knowing what's going on (very brave and generous), she invites the demons in by mistake, AND Aziraphale can't miracle her to go with Crowely and forget all about this. He tries in a bit of a panic, then gives up, as if he's remembering that oh yeah, he won't be able to miracle her, she's freaking Jesus.

That's why "miracles don't work like that." It's not that Aziraphale can't miracle people to fall in love, it's that he can't miracle Jesus. At all.

The main reason Crowley and Aziraphale are so nervous about Gabriel showing up is because they are scared he is spying on them and will notice Jesus. The audience assumes Gabriel is scary enough on his own, and pay no attention to the fact that A/C are trying to keep him clear of noticing ANYTHING out of the ordinary.

That light in her record store. You know, the one that looks EXACTLY LIKE ADAM'S LIGHT in the first season? (Thank you @youryurigoddess for pointing out that you had these screen shots!)

11. Look who else wears orange and blue:

I'm inclined to believe there's more going on with the people on Whickber street, but I'm not sure what, and some of Maggie's behavior gets a little questionable and hard to explain, but this image is what keeps me up at night. Why are Jesus and Maggie the only two people in the entire second season to wear orange AND blue?

The question that I do have is: What did Maggie do that had the same power as a 25 Lazarii miracle?? Because my entire theory revolves around Crowley and Aziraphale knowing -- or suspecting? Or searching for and being closer than even they know? -- that Maggie is Jesus, or will be; Saraqael being in on it; and them hiding whatever the BIG miracle was actually for and the audience assuming they are hiding the Gabriel miracle -- which they are not, although they are ALSO hiding the Gabriel miracle.

If Maggie didn't do the 25 Lazarii miracle, who did? And why? Where the hell did Maggie come from? Why would Jesus 2.0 just show up in the form of a woman who inherited a record shop the happens to be next door to the one being in the whole world who would most want to know where Jesus 2.0 would be?

So much more to know.

[book-place]

Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Warnings: various marvel movie spoilers, cursing, violence, drinking, weapons, death, let me know if I missed any :)

Pairings: Avengers x reader platonic

*not my gif*

Summary: You became an avenger at a young age, and grew close with your team

A/N: Welcome to book place’s one year event!!

Inspired by: Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears For Fears

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

Welcome to your life

Your eyebrows shot up as you let out a low whistle and turned on your heel, taking in your surroundings, “This place is nice,” You commented.

Tony smiled proudly from beside you, placing his hands on his hips, “I designed it myself.” He announced.

Natasha scowled, walking up from behind him and efficiently delivering a harsh slap upside his head, making the man yelp and grab onto the back of his hair, eyes filled with betrayal.

“Don’t let him fool you,” She said calmly, “Pepper did most of the work, he just likes taking the credit.”

You chuckled lightly at their antics, still taking in the sight of Avengers Tower in all its glory.

“Yeah, yeah,” The man scoffed before turning to and regarding you once more, “Come on, we’ll show you up to your room.”

Being recruited by the Avengers was the very last thing you had expected after a lab accident gone wrong, one that ended up giving you the power to create force fields around yourself and others. But it happened, and now you were being welcomed with open arms into your new home, even though you were just a teenager.

The three of you rode side by side up an elevator. A machine that though simple and common, was even fancier than almost anything you had ever seen.

Everything you looked at was ten times more expensive than anything you had ever even been allowed to look at in your life.

It came to a stop on a floor too high for other buildings and your two newly found teammates allowed you to exit before them.

You had already met the rest of the team, so you weren’t overly nervous about running into any of them on your first day.

“-and this is your room,” Tony concluded his tour of the floor that consisted of all of your rooms and a living room and kitchen, as well as a dining room.

He had explained to you that it was considered the living floor, but there were many others identical to this one if a case or purpose ever arose for it.

Yet again, you couldn’t help but allow your jaw to drop as soon as Natasha gently pushed the door open, revealing a room that could be an entire floor of the house you used to live in.

Tony walked off, calling over his shoulder about having JARVIS alert you of when dinner would be ready, but the redhead stayed behind.

She smiled gently at you, reaching out and squeezing your shoulder gently, “Welcome to the Avengers.” She said softly.

You exhaled a long breath when she began to walk in the direction Stark had just left in, and you tried to wrap your mind around what your life was becoming. The new life you were beginning to lead.

There's no turning back

All of it was too overwhelming. Too loud. Too dangerous. Too unpredictable.

You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t see, you couldn’t even hear yourself think.

It was your first mission as an Avenger and of course, it was going horribly. It was nothing like all the training and simulations you had been put through, or even the sparring you had done with Steve.

This was real- this was deadly. The gunshots wouldn’t just momentarily stun you, they would take away your life in a second, without hesitation.

You could barely even register the arrow that whizzed right past your head, narrowly missing you in such a way that had to be done purposefully, and ending up in the chest of a soilder you had been too distracted to even notice charging at you.

For the first time since the battle had begun, the first clear thought fought through the fog of your brain and became clear to you.

You needed to get out of there.

There were no further thoughts after that. No regret or guilt for leaving your team to fend for themselves. No shame for being a coward on your first time out in the field. Just the rapid, uneven, rising and falling of your chest and the constant ringing in your ears that wouldn’t go away.

Somehow, you had been coherent enough to stumble behind a flipped over vehicle that gave you shelter from the fight.

You sank to the ground unceremoniously and automatically brought your knees up to your chest and your hands to your hair, pulling harshly on the roots.

“Hey, hey-“ Clint dropped into a crouch by your side, placing a hand on your shoulder as his eyes swept over your face in concern, “What is it, kid? What’s wrong?”

All you could manage to do in your pathetic state was snap your eyes up to the man as your breathing came in and out unsteadily.

Suddenly, a look of realization overcame on his features and he reached his arm over and began to gently rub your back up and down. Much to your surprise, his expression was entirely void of the anger and disappointment you would have expected to see there after being found cowering pathetically away from the fight.

“I remember my first mission,” He spoke softly after a moment, eyes still scanning your surroundings for any sign of danger, “It wasn’t even as an avenger- mine was a whole hell of a lot less pressure than yours is. I was just some rookie shield agent on a mission that mattered, but wouldn’t have devastating effects if it went sideways.”

Slowly, your body unconsciously began to relax under his comforting hand and gentle words. He continued with a small chuckle to himself, “I couldn’t even hold my bow correctly. My hands were shaking too much- I’m pretty sure I shit my pants.”

That, at least, made a shaky smile make its way onto your face. It was small, but it was still something.

“It’s okay to be nervous and scared,” Clint spoke again, “Hell, I still feel the fear every time I step into one of these things. But I promise you,” He ducked his head so he could look you in the eyes, “We wouldn’t have picked you to be on our team if each and every one of us didn’t think that you were more than capable of doing this.”

“Really?” The question came out quietly. You hadn’t known that it had been their decision about whether or not to let you onto the team.

The man clapped your shoulder gently, “You’re an avenger, kid. We would never force you into a mission, especially one like this, but we could always use your help. So do you think you can go back out there and help us kick ass?”

A wave of confidence surged over your body and you straightened up and strongly nodded your head once.

He cracked a grin, standing up and helping you to your feet, “That’s what I like to hear.”

Even while we sleep

“Y/n, Y/n, come on. You have to wake up.” Steve shook your shoulders gently but firmly, “We have a mission.”

An incoherent grumble left your lips and you pushed your face farther into the pillow, refusing to open your eyes.

He sighed, “It’s in Sokovia,” He continued to shake you, “And it’s really important, people are counting on us.”

That finally caught your attention, and you reluctantly opened your eyes and threw your blanket off of yourself. You sat up and stretched your arms to the ceiling, “No one told me being an Avenger would mean waking up in the middle of the night,” You whined.

The blond man smiled at you sympathetically, “If we don’t do it, then who will?”

We will find you

“Shit!” Tony exclaimed through the comms, no doubt dodging something as extreme as a missal as he spoke.

“Language!” Steve chimed back instantly, almost as if it was second nature, the sound of his motorcycle revving sounding in the background.

You laughed loudly as you threw up a forcefield around yourself, successfully stopping a round of bullets from penetrating your skin.

“Wait a minute,” Tony chimed back in, “Is anyone going to comment on the fact that Cap just said ‘language’?”

“I will!” You cackled, punching a very confused soldier in the face, “He’s such an old man!”

Laughter from the rest of your team came through your ears as Steve let out a small huff, an explosion coming from the general direction you knew he was in, “It just slipped out,” He defended, “Plus, there’s a kid here.”

A gasp of offension left your lips and you could hear Clint take over your cackling from over comms, Nat even snickering a bit.

“I’m not a kid, Rogers!” You whined in a very child-like manner.

Turning your head to the side, you saw a large group of people rush their way over to Clint, no doubt hoping to overwhelm and overrun the man with their numbers.

With a slight tut of your tongue, though, you threw your hand out in his direction, making a force field form a protective barrier around him, to give him the time he needed to prepare for their attack and take them down with ease.

He turned his head to you with an appreciative nod and you called over with a playful grin, “We’re even now!” Referring to your first mission, merely a few months ago, that he had effortlessly saved you.

It was a joke between the two of you, everytime one of you would save the other, you would say that you were either even with one another or they owed you one, even though you had both long since lost track of all the saves.

Acting on your best behavior

You let out a loud cheer, raising your pool cue in victory with a large grin adorning your features, laughing as Steve let out a playful groan.

The blond man’s friend, Sam, laughed loudly and clapped Cap on the shoulder, “I can’t believe she beat you, and it’s her first time playing!”

Steve jokingly rolled his eyes, reaching over and ruffling your hair in a way that made you scowl.

“Hey! What’s with the long face?” Tony strode over and swing an arm over your shoulder, “It’s a party! There’s no negativity allowed at my party! What did Rogers do to you?”

Said man adopted a look of mock offense as he flitted his eyes over, “Why would you think I did something, Stark?”

“Because it's always you,” He replied simply before steering you away and towards where Bruce and Nat were at the bar with a laugh.

You got there and leaned your forearms against the counter whilst giving the two members of your team smiles of greeting.

“Want a drink?” Tony asked, sliding one across the surface towards you.

Just as your eyes lit up and you began reaching for it, Nat scowled and snatched it just before your fingers could brush against it, “Absolutely not.” She was glaring dangerous daggers at Tony.

“What?” He asked innocently, holding his hands up in surrender, “I was sneaking them at parties when I was way younger than her!”

“And look how you turned out.” The redhead retorted.

Tony’s smile dropped and he let out a noise of offense, but before he could open his mouth and snap back, a large hand clamped down on one of your shoulders.

“Lady Y/n!” Thor's voice boomed, causing you to spin around on your heel with a grin, “Are you enjoying the festivities?”

“I am, Thor, what about you?” You laughed.

“Well, it’s no Asguardian party, but you humans know how to have a much better time than I thought you did.” He exclaimed, eyes still shining with excitement.

Only a little while later, the guests had slowly but surely simmered out, leaving only you and your fellow avengers, along with Doctor Cho and Maria Hill, to lounge around on a couple couches.

“But it’s a trick!” Clint insisted, leaning his head back against the couch while twirling a drumstick in one hand.

“Oh no,” Thor laughed, taking a drink from his glass, “It’s much more than that.”

“‘Whoever be he worthy shall haveth the power!’” He mocked in a deep voice, guestering dramatically to where Thor's hammer rested on the coffee table in the middle of everyone. Clint scoffed, “Whatever, man! It’s a trick!”

You laughed from where you sat on the floor by Nats feet, the woman unconsciously running her fingers through your hair softly.

“Well, please, be my guest.” The Norse god seemed thoroughly amused by the entire situation and waved a hand in his hammer's direction.

“Come on!” Tony encouraged, clearly slightly buzzed from the drinks he kept pouring himself.

“Really?” Clint’s eyes widened, he clearly hadn’t expected to actually have his words entertained.

“Go Clint!” You cheered, pumping a fist in the air as your team chuckled all around you at your words.

Barton pushed himself to his feet and strode over, trying to appear to have much more confidence then he actually was.

“Oh, this is going to be beautiful,” Rhodey snickered, and you nodded in agreement.

“Clint, you've had a tough week, we won't hold it against you if you can't get it up.” Tony called to the man. Everyone laughed again.

“You know I’ve seen this before, right?” He thought it was just a parlor trick.

As soon as he placed his hand on the handle and moved to lift it though, he was met with much more resistance than anticipated.

He turned to Thor and blinked once before moving back to sit down, “I still don’t know how you do it.”

“Smell the silent judgment?” Tony snickered at his own words.

“Please, Stark, by all means.” He gestured towards the table.

“Oh, here we go.” You mumbled in amusement.

You watched as one by one, almost every member of your team tried- and failed- to lift the ancient object off the table, all while you sat back, cackling at their attempts.

“Lady Y/n,” Everyone’s attention was turned back to you, “Why don’t you give it a try?”

You glanced back at Nat, who shrugged with a small smile and took a sip from her beer, before shrugging yourself and making your way over to the table.

Readying yourself, you wrapped your hand around the handle and began to use all your strength to try and pull it up.

Perhaps you had been imagining it, maybe your mind was playing tricks on you, but you could’ve sworn that you felt the object shift slightly under your fingers.

But before anything else could happen, a loud screeching noise rang out through the room, making everyone flinch and divert their attention to where a robotic looking figure came limping through a doorway.

Turn your back on Mother Nature

You turned your head and gave Pietro a firm nod, who smirked at your signal before running at full speed through a row of robots, destroying them in the blink of an eye.

When he did so, you let out a whoop of celebration and stuck a hand out for him to rush back over and high five you.

The twins had realized their faults with being on Ultrons side and immediately rushed to assist your team. And as much as you loved the avengers, and while the Maximoff’s were both technically older than you, it was nice to have people closer to your age again. The three of you immediately clicked.

“Nice one!” You cheered, throwing your hands out to create a force field around the two of you just in time to stop some debris from falling over and flattening you.

“As glad as I am that the two of you are getting along,” Cap grunted through the comms, a background sound of clambering metal coming through, “Please keep your focus.”

“Why, we are very focused, Captain America.” Pietro’s thick accent rang through, sending you a cheeky smile.

Nevertheless, the two of you did get back to taking everything more seriously, and you quickly rushed to aid a panicked group of people who were trying to get to the helicarrier to get them out of the city.

You threw your hands up again and created a force field around all of you and you ushered them towards more help, “This way!” You called over the nearby sound of gunfire.

Waving off the cries of thanks you received from them after handing them off to some other helpers, you began jogging over to where you knew Wanda to be- wanting to check in on the girl- all whilst taking down Ultron's soldiers along the way.

“How’s it going?” You asked when she came into view.

A small smirk made its way onto her face, one so similar to Pietro’s that it left no doubt in your mind that they were twins, and she quickly sent out a beam of red energy into an incoming bots chest. It shattered into a thousand pieces upon impact.

“I think I’m handling it well.” She replied.

You laughed, wrapping a forcefield around one that was close to you just as it sent a bullet flying at you, making it bounce back at itself.

“Y/n?” Clint’s voice suddenly came through the comms, making your head snap up, though he was no doubt at least a few streets away, “I need some backup over here.”

With one final nod to Wanda, you turned on your heel and began racing to where you knew he was positioned, “On my way.”

After only one slight misstep in an alley that almost caused you to tumble into an ever collapsing brick wall, you pushed your way into a clearing and came to a sudden halt, breath catching in your throat and eyes widening at the sight before you. You could have sworn that your heart had even stopped beating all together.

It all happened in a slow motion fashion, only about ten yards away, Clint was in a squat position, cradling a kid to his chest and using himself as a shield to protect him. One of Ultron's robots hung in the air, aiming all of its available weapons at the man.

Without your mind even beginning to register what it saw, your body jumped into action and you leapt forward at full pace, throwing your arm out to send a shield the duo's way.

You were too slow. Too slow. Too slow. Too slow. Too-

Pietro got there before you could, before his faster than light brain could even compute that you had already gotten them out of harm's way, and he stood in front of them. His arms were stretched out to the sides as he used himself to barricade them from the incoming round of bullets.

He fell to the ground less than a second later, mumbling something that you weren’t able to hear over the ringing in your ears.

Immediately, you fell onto the ground beside him, your defenses collapsing as you did so, and a sob ripped through your throat as you hurriedly turned the boy over, searching for the lost cause of any sign of life.

You didn’t know how long you sat there, crying out and rocking his body back and forth. A boy you barely knew, yet felt so connected to. Someone who deserved to live.

Everybody wants to rule the world

Collateral damage.

You never liked those words. It always insinuated that something was broken, something that could no doubt be made whole again. But that word was too often used for people. People that could never be fixed- be brought back. People that could never be replaced.

This was the first time you ever experienced losing someone on your own team while out in the field, let alone someone you would consider a friend.

The rest of your battle with Ultron had been done numbly, your brain having gone into autopilot mode and leaving you to not even be able to think about what had just happened.

But then it was done, and you and the avengers were left to patrol Sokovia while everyone else was safely taken off, just in case something else were to occur.

Immediately, you had wandered off and found a quiet spot near the edge of the floating city and plopped down a safe distance away from the end, pulling your knees up to your chest.

The sound of soft footsteps made you look up, only to come face to face with a tear stained Wanda.

Guilt pooled in your stomach when you automatically came to the realization that you had been mourning a boy you barely knew while his own twin sister was left to suffer with it alone.

“Wanda, I’m so-“

“Shh,” She shushed you as you began to cry again, tears of her own slipping out of her green orbs, “I know, I know.”

She sank to the ground beside you and you held each other, both crying over the boy who hadn’t had enough time.

“I should’ve saved him- I should’ve noticed him there.” You hiccuped, clinging tightly to her shirt.

“It’s not your fault.” She whispered, resting her head atop your own, “You did nothing wrong, it wasn’t at all your fault.”

You were the only one that seemed to care- really care- about what happened to her brother. And not just that, but you were still just a kid- a kid that blamed herself for what had happened to him. Something that was completely out of your control, but you still took on the burden of the incident anyway.

Despite what you may think, Wanda could never hate you after today. If anything, it made her like you even more.

It's my own design, it’s my own remorse

“Are you getting a sense of deja vu? I’m getting a sense of deja vu.” Tony rambled.

“What do you mean?” You turned to him with a single raised eyebrow.

“You, me, Romanoff.” He gestured to the three of you walking in a line through the newly built Avengers Compound, where you and your team would all be staying now.

The redhead shared a playfully suspicious look with you, “What about us, Stark?”

The man grinned, as if having been waiting for the question to be asked, “This is just like the first time n/n moved into the tower.”

Nat chuckled when she realized what he meant and she threw a fond smile at you, “That’s true.”

“You were so little back then,” Tony teased, reaching over and ruffling your hair.

You scowled slightly at the action- no real anger behind your expression, though- and sidestepped his hand while moving to fix your hair.

“I was not.” You grumbled.

“I mean, you still kind of are.” Natasha smirked a little as she spoke.

Your mouth dropped open in betrayal, “Hey!”

Help me to decide

“Which color?” Wanda asked with a wide smile, holding up the different vials that all varied wildly in shades.

You quieted, eyes jumping from one to another as you thought it over for a moment before pointing to the middle one excitedly, “That one!”

“I’ll do the red.” Nat piped up from behind you, sinking down onto the mattress by your side.

“Perfect,” Wanda cheered, taking out your designated colors and one for herself as you all got ready to paint each other's nails.

The three of you had claimed to the rest of the team that you needed a girls night, before quickly retiring to Natasha’s room and promptly closing the door in Tony’s face, who had pouted and whined about not being invited.

You sighed happily, relaxing against the bed's backboard as Nat painted your nails and Wanda braided the woman’s hair, “This is nice, I needed this.”

“Believe it or not, I’ve never had a girls day,” Natasha had a slightly amused tone as she spoke.

“Me neither!” Wanda chorused.

“Same!” You piped up. The three of you fell into laughter, “But this is how it looks in the movies! So I thought, why not give it a try?”

Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure

“Voila!” Tony announced dramatically, throwing his arms out to the side to present what lay inside the dining room that had been practically untouched for the first few months of living in the compound.

Everyone looked around in shock, even Nats lips parted a bit.

Covering the table in the center of the room where foods of all shapes and sizes. All different kinds, with desserts and fast food bags, and even some food that looked homemade.

“What is all of this, Stark?” Steve looked around at the sight before him.

“Dinner.” Tony replied in a ‘duh’ tone.

An excited squeal left your lips and you latched your hand onto Wanda’s and quickly pulled the girl over to the table, taking a plate and beginning to fill it with food.

The girl chuckled along with a couple other members of the team at your antics, before the others quickly followed on your tail, filling their plates to the brim before taking seats around the vast table.

For the most part, everyone ate alone on their own times, so this was the first time that you were all doing it together since moving in.

You watched with a wide smile as everyone interacted, telling stories and filling the space with laughter. This- this is what you would picture if someone ever brought up the idea of a family dinner.

Nothing ever lasts forever

You didn’t like this- not one bit.

The heavy stare of Secretary Ross made you squirm uncomfortably in your chair. His gaze held enough accusation and judgment to make you more than a little bit uneasy.

“The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt,” The man continued a spiel that you and the rest of your team sat through in a heavy silence, it felt like you were children being lectured by a teacher for doing something wrong in class, “You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives . . . but while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some . . . who would prefer the word ‘vigilantes’.”

The word made you cringe slightly, but you stayed silent, eyes trained ahead. You didn’t even look away as you felt Steve and Tony’s eyes both flicker towards you simultaneously. You sat between the blond man and Natasha with the rest of the team spread out around the table.

“And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?” Nat tilted her head to the side, eyes narrowing slightly in a way that promised danger, though her tone was as innocent as it comes.

Ross scoffed, “How about ‘dangerous’?” His eyes swept back and forth over each and every one of you, “What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?”

Your hands tightened around the arm of your chair, knuckles whitening slightly from the sheer grip you had on the wood.

When all of you stayed silent, he sidestepped to reveal a large screen behind him. He pressed a button on a small remote he held.

“New York.” He spoke as news footage from years prior flashed onto the screen.

The Chitauri Leviathan crashing into skyscrapers. Citizens running around in a panicked frenzy. Bruce in his Hulk form smashing into buildings.

“Washington DC.”

The three Helicarriers from that day firing at each other, crashing into one another. Massive waves caused by their crashes engulfing nearby citizens.

“Sokovia.”

The city rising from the ground. Citizens screaming a crying. Fires erupting across various buildings. A brief clip of you and Pietro fighting side by side.

From the corner of your eye, you watched Wanda’s head fall at the sight on the television, and anger immediately began flickering in a small flame in your stomach at Ross for making her watch that.

“Ireland.”

Your eyes immediately snapped back over to the news footage playing in a horrifying montage across the screen.

Ireland had been where you were for your first mission. The one that you had frozen up on, where it took Clint to snap you out of your daze.

You had later learned that your mess up had cost many lives of innocent civilians, and that was something you had to live with to the day.

Clips of dead bodies littering the streets flashed across the monitor.

Painfully, you ripped your eyes away, unable to look at it any longer in fear of throwing up at what you saw.

“Okay. That’s enough.” Steve immediately sat up straighter when he noticed your pained look, his voice coming out as a demand to the Secretary.

He didn’t argue, clicking off the screen, as if he knew he would get that exact reaction out of all of you, “For the past four years, you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That's an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution.”

A nearby aide shuffled over and handed him a thick document that he immediately passed to Wanda, who briefly glanced at it before sliding it over to Rhodey.

“The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries . . . it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they'll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary.” He explained as if it were as simple as that.

Your ears were ringing. This was starting to become too much- everything about this ‘meeting’, and you were beginning to get to the point where you didn’t know if you could handle it.

“The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place. I feel we've done that.” Steve argued.

Almost as if he anticipated that, Ross didn’t miss a beat, “Tell me, Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?”

Your head snapped up at the sounds of their names and you met the Secretary’s eyes.

“If I misplaced a couple of thirty megaton nukes . . . you can bet there'd be consequences. Compromise. Reassurance. That's how the world works. Believe me, this is the middle ground.” He finally tore his eyes away from you to address the rest of the team.

“So, there are contingencies.” It wasn’t a question, Rhodey already knew the answer.

“Three days from now, the UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords.” He glanced at you once more, “Talk it over.”

Just as he was about to turn to leave, Natasha’s voice drew him to a halt, “And if we come to a decision you don't like?”

It was silent as you all waited for him to answer, and he gave her a plain smile, “Then you retire.”

It wasn’t too long later that you were all sitting around one of the many living rooms in the compound, you on one of the couches with your head in your hands as Steve read and reread the Accords from beside you.

Sam and Rhodey were arguing back and forth about what to do, while everyone else silently mulled it over to themselves.

“Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor, which is one more than you have.” Rhodes pointed out, as if that would be the deciding factor in everything.

The other man shot back his retort that only lead to more bickering that you couldn’t be bothered to even try to listen to, some other teammates of yours getting roped into it as well.

This was not good. Your team- your family- were going in circles as they argued with each other about the fate of the Avengers. This could very well be the day that they ended, because if the Accords weren’t what teared you apart, it would be the endless disagreements that were coming with this whole thing.

You sat back and watched as your family was slowly pulled apart by the seams.

“Tony, you chose to do that- if we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don't let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”

You had no idea who you agreed with, which side you were taking- it was all too much at the moment for you to properly think it out- but you had to admit that Steve did have a good point.

“If we don't do this now, it's gonna be done to us later. That's the fact. That won't be pretty.” Tony’s voice had almost shifted to one that resembled begging. He didn’t want you all to split up over this anymore than you did.

“You’re saying they’ll come for me.” Wanda whispered, her arms moving to wrap around her stomach.

“We would protect you.” Vision automatically assured her.

“Both of you.” Tony added, locking eyes with you as he said it.

You bit down on your bottom lip and cast your eyes downwards.

Even though you didn’t know your own viewpoint on the matter, you didn’t understand why your team couldn’t pull together- now more than ever- to come to an agreement on something. At least to ensure that you would all stay together.

The bickering just kept going and you couldn’t take it anymore, you pushed yourself off the couch and hurried out of the room, not paying any mind to how the team quieted behind you and sadly watched you go.

Everybody wants to rule the world

“So,” Tony strolled over, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the railing before bumping his shoulder against yours playfully, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

You were out on a balcony, standing there and overlooking the compound grounds as you thought, “I don’t know what to do.”

“That’s okay,” He assured you, “You’re just a kid, you don’t have to know what to do about all of this.”

You bit down on your bottom lip gently, “I hate it when you all fight.”

Tony sighed, shoulders sagging and head dropping a little bit, “I know, I hate it too.” His voice was quieter than before

“Why can’t we just keep doing what we’re doing?” You asked softly, eyes trained somewhere in the distance, “Why can’t we just go back to the way things used to be? Without the government dictating what we do.”

The man’s head turned to you in surprise, “You don’t mean that.”

You shook your head, “No, I do.” You were finally getting a sense of what you thought about everything going on.

“Listen, I know you’re upset about everything, but you don’t have to-“

“Why would we let them control us?” You turned to face him as well, “That’s not how we’ve always done things, why would we change now? We’ve been fine on our own.”

“I know you think that,” He tried again, eyes and tone growing slightly desperate, “But signing these Accords and letting the government have a little bit of control over us will be what keeps us together. Not signing them will tear us apart.”

Again, you shook your head stubbornly, “No, the UN will just tear us apart. Things will change. I’m not ready for things to change.”

“You need to sign these Accords, n/n,” It almost sounded like Tony was begging at this point, “I promise, once you do that we can figure out everything else.”

You looked at him sadly, “I’m not ready for them to control us, Tony. I’m not ready for things to change.”

Before he could even open his mouth again, you turned on your heel and went back inside, searching for Steve to let him know of your decision.

Tony dropped his head into his hands from behind you.

There's a room where the light won't find you

Your eyes swept back and forth, going over the plan again and again, letting Steve’s previous words ring out in your head.

Though you tried to keep your face neutral, you knew that your nerves were portrayed through your expression, showing everyone in the airport how scared you really were.

As you looked over the faces of those who signed the Accords, you couldn’t find it in yourself to blame them- as much as you tried.

At the end of the day, they were just doing what they thought was right, just like you were. Except their methods didn’t involve going back to the way things used to be, theirs included being controlled by people who had no idea what being an Avenger was really like- what it took.

Before you knew it, both sides began charging at one another, forcing you to do the same.

You didn’t like this, the thought of fighting against your loved ones made you sick to your stomach, so you had come up with a plan beforehand. All you would do was protect those around you by channeling your powers to generate force fields around them and come to their aid when necessary.

Before the fight had even begun, you relayed this to Steve, who had nodded in understanding.

So that’s what you did.

When T’Challa automatically sprang forward to lunge at Bucky, you threw a shield around the man, sending the king flying backwards upon impact.

You cringed a little, “Sorry, your majesty!” You called.

That wasn’t exactly how you pictured your first interaction with the king of Wakanda going.

You ran around, helping others when they needed it before moving on, making sure you were constantly rotating to be there at any given moment for anyone.

Your steps faltered though, when Tony flew down in his suit and touched the ground only a few yards away.

“What are you doing, kid?” He asked sadly, “Please get out of here, you’re going to get hurt.”

“I need to help them, Tony. I’m not going to leave them behind.”

“Listen-“ He lifted his hand subconsciously as he spoke to you, not meaning anything by it, but he froze when you flinched at the gesture and threw your hands up to create a force field all around yourself.

You realized what you had done too late, and you swallowed thickly as a deadly silence settled between the two of you, both completely tuning out the sounds of chaos from the battle going on around you.

“Did you-“ His words came out slightly stuttered, “You didn’t think that- that I was going to shoot you, did you?”

You didn’t. You really didn’t. But that didn’t explain why your body had worked by itself to try and naturally protect you. As if you had been in any danger in the first place.

Before you could even try and open your mouth to speak, Visions voice cut you off, calling out from a far, “Mr. Stark!”

Steve and Bucky were making their way to the hanger that held the quinjet, the blond man desperately trying to get your attention to flag you down and get you on the plane with them.

You realized though in that moment that getting over there wasn’t in the cards for you, but you could distract Tony so the duo could make their escape.

Subtly, you shook your head, and you watched Steve’s face drop in slight horror, but you didn’t allow yourself to dwell on that as Bucky gently took his best friend by the shoulder to continue to steer him out of there.

Taking Tony’s distracted form to your advantage, you threw a shield around him just in time to stop him from moving to go after them, keeping him stuck in place.

“I’m sorry, Tony,” You spoke, “But I can’t let you do that.”

Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down

“Y/n.” Your head snapped up and you sprang to your feet, hand already moving to the gun you had concealed under the table.

You froze in place though, standing in the middle of your kitchen, staring at two of the people you quite honestly didn’t know if you would ever see again.

After what happened in Germany, Cap had freed you and the others from prison, thereby forcing every one of you to go into hiding for what you had done. He had begged you to come with him- all of them begged for you to go with at least one of them- if only for the fact that they could look after you. You were still just a kid.

But after everything that had gone down between the team- not that it could even be called that anymore- you had been too full of pain and betrayal to even handle being around any of them at the moment. So, you refused assistance from any of them and slipped away the first chance you got. You couldn't stay with them, not then at least, you had to go out on your own. You had to take time to process everything that had happened.

You had somehow ended up in a small town in Ireland- maybe it was to stay in touch with a small part of who you used to be when you had still been an Avenger- but you were old enough at that point to get a job and buy your own apartment. It was by no means a luxurious life, not like the life you had been living in the tower or the compound, but it was peaceful and quiet. Exactly what you needed to lay low and sort yourself out.

But now, you stood face to face with Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff and you didn’t know what to do. You could physically feel your heart contracting in your chest and you found it hard to breathe.

Limply, your hand fell away from your gun and the three of you just stared at each other in silence.

Steve cleared his throat, “Something big’s about to go down. In Wakanda.” It was like he wanted to say something else, but forced himself to get those words out.

“Why come to me?” Your voice was scratchy, the question pained you to speak aloud.

They both had sad looks on their faces, “We need you.” Nat spoke softly.

You shook your head back and forth, “You don’t need me.”

You knew it. They knew it.

“Of course we do.” Steve insisted, “You’re a vital part of the team.”

An incredulous laugh left your lips, you couldn’t help it, “Team? What team?” Your eyes hardened, “There hasn’t been any team in a long time.”

“N/n, I know you’re hurt-“ Rogers moved as if to come closer to you.

You took a stumbling step back, an expression full of pain overcoming your face. You had thought you moved past this, with all the time you had, you really did, but seeing them again, it opened up new wounds you had thought long since closed.

“Don’t.” You spoke firmly, doing everything in your power to keep your voice from wavering.

He stilled, releasing a small sigh through his nose.

“There’s a threat,” He spoke from afar, “Far greater than anything any of us have ever faced. And he’s coming here. We need your help to stop him.”

“What kind of threat?” As hurt as you were, you still felt as if it was your responsibility to protect the world, and you couldn’t just back away after hearing that it was in danger.

“His name is Thanos.” Nat informed you, hesitantly taking a small step forward, continuing when you didn’t flinch away, “A lot of us are going to Wakanda to hold him off, he’s trying to get to the mind stone.”

“Vision?”

True, you had both been on opposite sides of the fight in Germany, but that didn’t mean you didn’t still care about him.

The nod of confirmation you received from both of them was enough to make you suck in a breath.

“He’s dangerous, we can’t let him get that stone.” Steve spoke.

Finally, you locked eyes with the blond man, taking a moment before speaking again, “Fine, I’m in.”

You would be fighting with the Avengers again. Side by side with your family, having each other's backs and looking out for one another. Just like the way things used to be. The way things should be.

Nat smiled softly, taking the final step to reach you before lifting her hand and gently cupping your cheek, “You’ve grown up so much.”

Subconsciously, you leaned into her touch before bringing your arms gently around her for a long overdue hug.

After her, you moved to hug Steve too, biting down on your bottom lip to try and stop the incoming tears, “I’m sorry.” You whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He reassured you softly, knowing exactly what you were apologizing for, “You left because it was the right thing for you to do.”

They ushered you into the Quinjet they brought to get you shortly after, and you finally piped up again once you set a course for Wakanda, “How did you find me, anyway?”

Natasha briefly looked over her shoulder at you, “We tracked you down shortly after you left, but knew that we needed to give you your space for as long as we could.”

You swallowed, “Oh,”

“Tony knew where you were too,” She explained, “He kept tabs on you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “He knew where I was but he didn’t have me arrested again?”

Steve looked at you, “You know he never wanted to do that to you in the first place.

You nodded slightly, you did know.

Slight embarrassment took over you though, you thought you had been good at covering your tracks, but apparently not against an assassin and billionaire.

After a while, the quinjet landed and the three of you exited. You sucked in a sharp breath when you saw Wanda, Bruce, Vision, T’Challa, and Bucky all standing near the ship, smiling welcomingly at you.

Though you didn’t know Bucky or T’Challa that well, you gave the former a small hug in greeting and the former a polite wave before moving to tightly hug Wanda, Bruce, and Vision.

“It’s good to see you guys,” You said after pulling away.

Wanda smiled, “It’s good to see you too, n/n.”

“I hate to interrupt,” The king of Wakanda did in fact sound very guilty, “But we must be going.”

“Y/n, I want you to stay here with Wanda and Vision, help protect the stone.” Steve addressed you, and you nodded in affirmation.

So there you stood, watching with a worried expression from the windows as your team along with hundreds of Wakandan soldiers marched into battle.

You cast a glance at Wanda after a few moments, “I can’t just stand by and watch.” You whispered.

She smiled, nodding and reaching over to squeeze your shoulder, as if she had been expecting you to say that, “I know,” She admitted before nodding her head out the window, “Go. We’ll be fine.”

After one last bit of hesitation, you spun on your heel and took off running outside, joining in on the fight that had already begun. Your first fight back as an Avenger.

When they do I'll be right behind you

Not once, but twice your team had been ripped apart. Once by their own undoing and once from the hands of Thanos. You didn’t know which hurt more.

What had happened? What had made the universe decide to leave you alive and well while half of the Avengers- half of the universe- got snapped to mere dust and blown out of existence?

How cruel could the world be that you were forced to sit there, screaming and crying until your throat was raw as you watched your family be teared away from you while you sat back, completely unharmed?

You should never have left Wanda in the first place, you should have stayed like Steve had specially told you to to protect the stone. Everything might have turned out differently if you had.

You didn’t know how long you had been there, collapsed in a heap on the ground in the spot right next to where Wanda had gotten snapped away and Vision's dead body lay off to the side, until Natasha and Steve had broken through the trees, eyes frantically searching every which way.

When her gaze landed on you, the woman let out a breath of relief and rushed to your side, falling to her knees and scooping you up into her arms, holding you tightly against her.

So you sat there, hands desperately grasping at her clothing and cried into her chest while she rubbed your back up and down, tears of her own swimming in her eyes.

“I know, I know.” She spoke gently, rocking you both back and forth.

Steve dropped onto his knees beside the two of you, a look of pure exhaustion and despair on his face as his tearful, devastatingly blue eyes locked with your own orbs.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered as if it was his fault. A million different apologies laying behind his eyes.

I’m sorry for dragging you back into this. I’m sorry that we lost. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop him. I’m sorry-

You threw yourself into his arms, wrapping your own around his neck and continuing your crying as he hugged you back tightly.

You had lost.

So glad we've almost made it

“It’s my fault.”

It had been five years since that day in Wakanda. Since half the universe had been erased from existence.

Only twenty days after the battle, a woman named Carol had showed up with a ship that held none other than Tony Stark, a man you thought to have been snapped away with everyone else.

You, along with Nat, had lived in the compound, desperately trying to keep together a world that was no longer there.

It was almost always quiet, nothing to report, nothing going on in the world. Most of your days consisted of sitting around with Nat, waiting for something that might never happen.

The woman looked up from her breakfast at you in surprise, “What do you mean?” She asked.

You sighed, this was the first time you were going to open up to her about the guilt that had been eating away at you about what had happened.

“I left Wanda and Vision,” You whispered, eyes clouding over with sadness. You learned long ago that you had almost no tears left in your body to cry. “Even after Steve specifically told me to stay and protect the stone, I left them and Thanos got to them.”

Nat looked startled, never had she thought you were blaming yourself in that way. Sure, everyone that hadn’t been blipped felt some form of responsibility for what happened, but after all this time, how could she not have noticed just how much of the burden you took upon yourself?

“That wasn’t your fault,” She spoke immediately, “Nothing about that was your fault. Thanos would have gotten what he wanted, whether you were there or not.”

You quieted after that, neither of you bringing the conversation up again, allowing the day to pass without mention of it again.

Pretty soon though, Steve showed up, Scott following shortly after- a man who had supposedly been blipped away.

The three of you were quick to usher him in and demand that he explained himself, only to come to the realization that for the first time in five years, a tiny flicker of hope was set off within you. For the first time in five years, there may be a chance to set everything right. To bring everyone back.

Only one thing was left to do, you all had to pay a visit to Tony and convince him to go along with the plan.

Almost right after getting back, Tony had slipped away, and you let him, figuring he just needed a little time, but you hadn’t seen him a single time in these five years. The only form of communication going between the two of you was the occasional text to make sure the other was doing alright.

You took a deep breath, stepping out of the car and gently closing the door behind you, taking in the sight of Tony’s house, which- even in the middle of nowhere- was beautiful.

The man stopped walking on his porch when he caught sight of the group of you, and the two of you briefly made eye contact before you watched him break it and heave out a sigh.

You all walked up to him, and he pulled you in for a hug, planting a quick kiss on the side of your head before turning to address everyone else, “What is it?” He cut right to the chase.

So Scott began explaining it to him- everything you had been told earlier.

“In Layman's terms, it means you're not coming home.” Tony sighed, running a hand down his face.

“I did.” Scott argued.

“No, you accidentally survived.” Tony immediately shot back, “It's a billion to one cosmic fluke. And now you wanna pull off a... What do you call it?”

“A time heist?” You offered- no doubt- unhelpfully.

Nat looked down to hide her smirk at your words.

“Yeah, a time heist. Of course, why didn't we think of this before? Oh, because it's laughable? Because it's a pipedream?” Tony’s sarcastic words had a bite to them.

Your amusement, along with Natasha’s, immediately dropped and you averted your eyes to the ground.

“The stones are in the past. We can go back and get them.” Scott never gave up, you would give him that.

“We can snap our own fingers.” Nat continued.

“We can bring everyone back.” You whispered, eyes lifting to meet Tony’s, and you saw the briefest flicker of hesitation for the first time since arriving.

Then, all at once, the hesitation was gone and the incredulousness was back, “Or screw it up worse than he already has, right?”

“I don't believe we would.” Steve sounded like he truly believed his words, and that made you feel better.

You began tuning the rest out after that, when they still kept bickering back and forth. It was bringing back too many memories of the Accords.

“Tony,” Steve spoke softly, “I get it. And I'm happy for you, I really am. But this is a second chance.”

“I got my second chance right here, Cap. I can't roll the dice again. If you don't talk shop, you can stay for lunch.” He seemed genuinely sad.

Everyone turned to leave, but Tony called to you, making you pause, “N/n, wait up.”

You exchanged one glance with Nat before pulling yourself to a halt and letting the others part way and you turned to Tony.

“I really am sorry,” He said, “I just can’t risk it.”

You smiled a soft, understanding smile, and reached over to squeeze his hand, “I know, Tony, it’s alright.”

He shook his head, averting his eyes, “It’s not that I don’t want to bring them back- of course I do. I would do anything to be with them again, but I refuse to let my family become in danger because of it.”

“Tony,” He turned his gaze back to you, “Don’t worry about it, we’ll figure out another way.”

He bit down on his bottom lip before slowly nodding his head and letting his hand drop from yours, “Alright.”

With one last smile, you turned yet again to go, but he stopped you again.

“N/n?” You turned your head, “You’re always welcome here- always.”

So sad they had to fade it

You couldn’t believe it, you could hardly breathe as your head whipped around in shock.

For the first time in five years, tears of happiness and relief instead of despair and regret filled your eyes as all around you, Wakandan soldiers, Avengers- your family- that had all been snapped away filed out of portals every which way, joining you, Steve, Thor, and Tony to fight against Thanos and his army.

You could have sobbed in relief when your eyes landed on Wanda, Bucky, T’Challa, Stephen, Sam, and so many more of the ones you lost came to stand by your side, all looking exactly as they did the day they were torn away.

You didn’t even get to reunite with any of them though, as everyone began charging forward and beginning the fight.

More than anything, you wished that Nat was still there with you, that she hadn’t sacrificed herself for that damned stone and she could see that she hadn’t given up hope for nothing. That what she had died for was worth it- it was all worth it. Everyone was back and it was all because of her, because of her sacrifice.

Forcing those thoughts out of your mind, you purposefully shifted your attention so you could focus solely on the fight at hand.

Immediately, you placed a force field around yourself as a Chitauri lunged at you, stumbling slightly at the sheer force it used as it continued to claw at you, before you quickly thrust your hands out, sending it flying backwards into some other nearby aliens. They all went tumbling to the ground upon impact.

That continued, Chitauri after Chitauri, before another one coming at you was swiftly thrown to the side by a familiar red wisp of light. The same kind you never knew if you were going to see again.

Your head quickly whipped to the side where Wanda stood, eyes glowing red and hand outstretched.

Choking back on a sob, you dropped all your defenses and flew across the couple of yards separating you and jumped into her arms, pulling yourself tightly against her.

“Wands…” You cried, hugging her as tightly as you could despite the ongoing battle around the two of you.

“Hi,” She breathed out, hugging you with the same amount of desperation that you held her with and you quickly realized why.

For you, it had been five years. For her, it had been just over five minutes. Five minutes since she was forced to kill Vision, the man she loved, and lost against Thanos.

When you pulled away, you caught T'Challa's eye, who was only a short distance away, and exchanged a nod of greeting with him.

“We’ll catch up later,” She moved to cup your cheek and look you in the eyes before placing a gentle kiss against your forehead, “Be careful.”

You smiled, leaning into her touch, “You too.”

Quickly, you spun on your heel and rushed off, taking down soldiers left and right.

“My, my, that’s an interesting talent.”

For a brief second, you froze before turning to face Thanos, the person responsible for every piece of pain you had felt in the last five years.

His unnerving eyes were trained solely on you, and you couldn’t help but feel a wave of rage hit you and you let out a scream, charging at the man with outstretched arms, immediately encompassing him in an unbreakable force field.

Thanos’s eyes flickered with surprise and he swung his sword out to your shield, only for it to bounce back and narrowly missing his arm.

Slowly, you moved your hands together, making the shield shrink around his large frame in the process, forcing him to condense his body to try and fit the space growing increasingly smaller and smaller. It would only be a matter of seconds before it crushed him entirely.

You made the fatal mistake of being too distracted with extracting your revenge that you hadn’t noticed the Chitauri that was creeping behind you until it tackled you to the ground.

A small scream escaped your lips as you went crashing against the hard floor and Thanos smirked as your concentration was dropped, bringing your shields down with it. He rose to his full height and stalked over to you, picking you up by the neck, effectively cutting off your airway.

You began gasping for breath immediately, trying to thrash around in his hold, trying to do anything to make him drop you as your feet barely even touched the ground.

Dots began to dance around your vision and you could tell that it was all about to go black in less than a second, before the hand swiftly dropped you, and you fell into a heap on the ground, coughing violently.

“Lady Y/n!” Thor immediately sank to your side on the ground, “Are you alright?”

Steve and Tony, who- along with Thor- had knocked Thanos off of you, continued to go after him, hitting him with blast after hit in hopes of making any sort of damage.

With one last cough, you took a gasping breath and shakily looked up at Thor, “I’m alright.” Your voice was scratchy and you moved to stand up.

The man’s eyebrows furrowed and he gently held you down, “You are in no state to go on with this fight.”

Your eyes widened, “But, Thor-“

You cut yourself off as you caught sight of something over his shoulder, and you paled further than you thought as possible, becoming nauseated.

“I am inevitable.” Thanos’s voice traveled and he snapped his fingers.

You tensed, eyes immediately whipping around as you looked for any sign of yourself or others to be dusted.

But nothing happened, and your gaze slowly dragged over to where Tony was, collapsed to his knees on the ground, and a scream left your lips at what you saw.

His was in physical pain as energy surged through him from all six of the infinity stones sitting on his armor, and he briefly made eye contact with you.

It’s okay, is what his eyes so desperately tried to relay to you.

Tony Stark turned back to Thanos with a hard look, “And I��� an Iron Man.”

He snapped.

Everybody wants to rule the world

Pepper walked by all of you with a sad smile, tightly grasping onto Morgan’s hand as they went by.

You were frozen, stuck with a stiff form as you watched the woman placed a wreath memorial to Tony in the lake. It was a small tribute to the man, it had his first arc reactor placed in it.

Everyone stood around you, tears of their own laying unshed in their eyes, only for a few of them to drop when Pepper took in a sharp breath and stepped back.

You were yet to move, even after everyone had slowly disbanded and began muttering amongst themselves, you just stared at the wreath as it moved slowly from side to side in the rippling waves.

All at once you had lost Tony and Natasha. The first two people to introduce you to your new life as an avenger. You lost two family members at the same time and you were so numb inside that you could hardly feel much of anything.

The numbness had come after the searing pain that had taken place in your chest at their loss, now nothing but a dull sting that you knew was bound to come back in full swing at any moment.

“Hey, kid.” Clint greeted gently, coming over to stand beside you.

You couldn’t even manage a hum of acknowledgment.

Wanda moved up to your other side, extanching a glance with Hawkeye as she did so. But you paid no mind to their concerned looks.

Wordlessly, the woman wrapped her arm around your shoulder and pulled you to your chest, perhaps trying to comfort and receive that same comfort.

It dawned on you suddenly, something you had never thought about before that moment.

After everything you had gone through all these years, you were nowhere close to being the same girl that had first wandered into Avengers Tower in awe.

You were older, wiser. You were stronger, more broken.

For so long, you had been scared of change, of everything and everyone you had loved moving on from the times that you were a happy family, fighting side by side. All while you were completely unaware that that life was almost nonexistent. It had gone on for a little while, then disappeared through your fingers while you so desperately kept trying to cling onto it. Unaware that all you were holding onto was empty air.

We Are Groot 🤎- @lovanitu @jvdethirlwall @ineedmorefanfics2 @sambucky8 @spidyyparker @irethepotato @femalemarvelself @mukbee @its-hell @ip747 @i-writes-things @popfishjr @mitsuki-murakami @mythixmagic @ladyagagaslefttoe @etanordoesbullsh1t @wolfmoonmusic @nutellani @hyunzrii @kiyomi-uchiha777

[justhereformilgram]

WARNING: Mouthwashing spoilers ahead?? it is a psychological horror game so there is a bit of blood and gore, themes of suicide, cannibalism, all that. So be sure to read the content warnings if you haven’t heard of it before but decide to check it out!

Anyways. I introduce milgramwashing. because I fell down the rabbit hole and loved the complex storytelling and horrific situations of the original game. HOWEVER, for this AU, it definitely will be a different sort of storyline because while I appreciate the hard subject matter Mouthwashing tackles, I don’t feel comfortable putting any of the milgram cast in those positions.. I do love to point out parallels, though, and things will definitely still go terribly wrong.

Just imagine they’re a different branch, a different ship, on the Pony Express— or should I say, the Jackalope Express?

(1) I was torn between making the MILGRAM (replacing Tulpar) just a delivery crew like the OG, or a ship carrying prisoners, closer to MILGRAM. Or prisoners who become a crew after an emergency happens and Es can’t handle it on their own. 🤷 None of this explains putting Es, a 15 year old in charge. Were they a child pilot prodigy? A nepo baby? Who knows. But they are Captain Es.

(2) Next is Yuno, the first one I drew so she’s in color! She’s a psychology intern, just learning the ropes, tagging along because she needs money to provide for her parent and little bro. Also she’s under a false name since idk how legal her side job was in the mouthwashing universe. The Anya parallels are… quite real, though in this case she would’ve gotten pregnant from her clients like in MILGRAM but before she got on the ship, and only realizing later, and then it becomes a whole situation. She becomes an assistant nurse to Shidou after the crash happens.

(3) Fuuta! I think he shares in Swansea’s grumpiness, and it does make sense for him to be an electric engineer or hacker due to his focus in tech. cough. not always for noble means. Haruka will be his intern he has to deal with—though he isn’t middle aged, I think a mentor/older brother and younger brother dynamic mirroring Swansea and Daisuke could be fun and tragic for them. Also Kotoko definitely slices him in the eye. I don’t know why or how, I just feel like it fits pretty well.

(4) As said before, Haruka is another intern without much experience, sent into space because his mother didn’t want to deal with him anymore. Harsh. Meanwhile, after her incident at her school, Muu’s parents paid big money to cover it up then shoehorn her into an “internship” where the authorities can’t get her. She gets the nicest room on the spaceship.

(5) Kazui! The muscle of the group, originally I gave him captain or pilot since he really does give Curly vibes (means well, hurts the women in his life anyways through inaction/telling the truth/lying) and he also has a mid life crisis. then all this happens. I’d imagine he’s fairly level headed and would’ve intervened in the Kotoko incident and the Crash. (Related somehow? I don’t know, I didn’t think the lore all the way through) Not fast enough to spare Mahiru, though… Mikoto is not an intern, but a very stressed mouthwashing sales representative part of the advertising sector. His job still sucks. He’s due for a breakdown at any moment. John was always there, but he probably comes out more during great times of stress, like the Crash. Maybe he’s partly responsible, trying to defend from Kotoko or something. In no way people are letting Amane onto the ship willingly so I made her a stowaway fleeing her conditions under the religious organization after she murdered her mom. She sneaks into a shipment of mouthwash or something idk. Shidou is doctor but in space. I imagine his family passed in a terrible, terrible accident and he did lots of medicine malpractice still.

(6) Finally, Kotoko and Mahiru. Kotoko needs to use that axe, it fits too well.. I do think the Crash, just like Trial 2, is a turning point, so she probably has some hand in the Crash as well, if not purposely then it might be from swinging that around recklessly. She still looks cool doing it, though! And Mahiru. I imagine she pulled a legally blonde and followed in her boyfriend’s footsteps to become a pilot. After he passed, she continued her schooling and ended up as co-pilot on MILGRAM. Tried to stop the ship from crashing from the asteroid, and got caught in the blast zone… I’m sorry Mahiru it’s just you’re the only one with many bandages as a character design element 😭 and it made too much sense 😭😖 I think she’s still cute though. I gave her Daisuke’s hibiscuses since I like that imagery

[jokertrap-ran]

Disney’s Twisted Wonderland: NRC Magic Assault Practice with Crowley Episode 1- Orientation Translations

“I am Night Raven College’s Headmage, so it is without a doubt that I am strong. Terribly so, in fact, so you’d best be prepared.” *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut*

Event EP 1 / Event EP 2 / SSR / Album Lines

Crowley: I see that you have all gathered. I’m happy to see that you’re all here on time.

Crowley: Now then, let’s start your practical training orientation, a compulsory subject that you are required to take… Oh, wait!

Crowley: Hear me out first. I recently went to the town at the foot of the mountain.

Crowley: I’d heard that a store specializing in gibier cuisine had opened there, and I just couldn’t sit still.

Crowley: I waited in line for three hours, and I wasn’t quite sure whether it constituted lunch or dinner by the time I got in, but… I must say, it was very delicious, indeed!

Crowley: Did you know? Gibier refers to the game meet, and as such, comes in many different varieties…

Crowley: If not properly processed, the meat will smell and be too tough. Hence, the art of processing game requires a skilled hand, honed through many years of experience.

Crowley: It also requires a lot of spontaneous decision-making on the spot, so this skill isn’t something that can be learned and attained overnight.

Crowley: What an exquisite art form! Fascinating, wouldn’t you say?

Crowley: …Excuse me, why do you all look so uninterested in what I’m saying? This has to do with all of you as well!

Crowley: It’s important to have the ability to make spontaneous decisions based on experience. This applies to mages as well.

Crowley: And the reason why practical training is a compulsory subject is because actual combat experience is what makes an excellent mage.

Crowley: Therefore, I’d like all students to participate knowing the importance of this lesson.

Crowley: “An all-out magic brawl seems fun.” You’ll be in for a hard time if you think lightly of this class!

Crowley: Ahem… And there you have it. Now then, allow me to explain the basics of this class once more.

Crowley: This practical training class is where you’ll be putting the knowledge and skills you’ve learned in practical magic to use.

Crowley: We will be moving to the Coliseum where a virtual arena has been set up. There, you will all be made to make full use of your abilities, pushing them to their limits.

Crowley: Everything that goes on in there will be monitored, and I will personally judge just how effective your day-to-day studies have been when put into practical use.

Crowley: …Hm? Is there really a need to carry this out in a virtual arena, you say?

Crowley: BUT OF COURSE!!!

Crowley: It is true that past practical training sessions have been held outside of school grounds, such as uninhabited islands or locations that the school has specially rented for the sole purpose of hosting it, but…

Crowley: There have been past incidents of students going missing and taking advantage of the teachers’ blind spots to circumvent supervision!

Crowley: Students dissatisfied with their teachers have also engaged in full-out brawls… In short, it’s more trouble than it’s worth.

Crowley: Huff… huff… Anyway, there’s no longer any need for us to travel that far away from school grounds now.

Crowley: Magical projector tech has greatly improved in recent years, and it has now become possible to virtually recreate areas and enemies alike.

Crowley: With this, we can now cross deserts, forest bathe, and even walk across the ocean floor in the comfort of our own homes. Canceling plans due to bad weather is now a thing of the past!

Crowley: There was many an occasion where we had to postpone it due to sudden storms and blizzards… so we should all be thankful for technological advancements!

Crowley: In any case, since this training is going to be taking place within a virtual arena, you will all be fighting a virtual enemy created by the magical projector.

Crowley: An enemy… modeled after me, Dire Crowley!

Crowley: Taking everyone’s safety into consideration, my virtual clone’s magical abilities have been limited. Although it is a far cry from my original capabilities…

Crowley: I am Night Raven College’s Headmage, so it is without a doubt that I am strong. Terribly so, in fact, so you’d best be prepared.

Crowley: …Heh. I know what everyone’s thinking. “Even with the limit, the hurdle’s still way too high!” …Right?

Crowley: That’s true. However, if you work hard to overcome this hurdle, your efforts will certainly bear fruit.

Crowley: Well then, steel yourself, for practical training is now in session!

Crowley: Now, show me how wonderfully you’ll all overcome the challenges in this special lesson from yours truly!!!

☪⋆ ────── ⋆⋅☆ 𝔗𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔲𝔢𝔡 ☆⋅⋆ ────── ☪⋆

[utilitycaster]

Pls ignore if the spectre of ruminating on old god-diskhorse is far too obnoxious but it's rather a jump-off point for a more general question; an issue brought up pushing back against the most obnoxious "vanguard is right eradicate those tyrant gods rq stole vax hate that bitch" ppl, aside from other things like just being deeply myopic even just from an in-universe perspective, but on a wholler narrative level requires completely ignoring or discarding campaign 1 and 2's theses and genuine connections. Largely i think these ppl's takes are more interested in self-validation than concerned with what they're actually saying when they want these things to be true (which they aren't, Matt and cast and plot progression from the peak of those discourses have made that clear), but now here's my wondering: what would it say if c3 were to be these things? By what metrics do you judge a sequel installment should it, in the pursuit of its own story, undermine or contradict the earnest, complete, already told story that preceded it and was built upon?

Hi anon,

This is a good question, and necessarily one with a subjective answer, so I hope I at least explain my thought process below! Also: this does have some spoilers for a Midst episode in Season 3 (which aired a few weeks ago). I mention this because it's a really useful example for me but this wasn't a question about Midst so you might not be expecting me to talk about it.

Firstly, I agree with you that a lot of the people who want this want the story to validate their personal beliefs. Some want it to validate political/philosophical beliefs, which is a complicated thing: on the one hand, I very much don’t want to watch a show that’s like “hey slavery is neat-o!” and doubt such a show would have much merit. On the other hand, when we’re dealing with much more complicated issues like religion, which simultaneously exists as a tool of oppression; an aspect of identity that makes one a target of oppression; a source of meaning and comfort; and a source of justification of terrible practices all in one; I think it’s extremely valuable to be exposed to a multitude of perspectives and to not just endlessly look for those that validate one’s own experiences.

Others just want the story to validate their feelings about the happenings within the narrative, which is on the one hand usually less close-minded, but on the other hand, kind of stupid. You are permitted to dislike that Vax died. I disagree, but you can feel however you want (indeed, you don’t need my, or anyone’s permission to dislike that Vax died). The story saying “The Raven Queen isn’t perfect” or even “The Raven Queen is Bad” isn’t necessary for you to have those feelings; and the Raven Queen being slaughtered isn’t per se necessary for Vax to come back (which I think would be cheap and stupid, but like, if that’s what you want you could just have him come back.) You don’t need to story to tell you that your response to the story is good, so this is ultimately a case of “why are you even doing this."

I also suspect there’s just some degree of subversion for subversion’s sake (or change for change's sake) people who were into the idea of killing the gods just to flip C1 and C2 on their respective heads. The thing is, subversion for the sole purpose of subversion has always been the province of the dull. There’s a reason why culturally we treat M. Night Shyamalan as a joke and it’s because “THERE’S A TWIST” without a strong and compelling build-up to said twist nearly always is, as the post I recently reblogged said, something that only hits hard if you’re stupid.

What I need from a story to be good is internal consistency and a strong execution. I am frequently surprised, in a very positive way, by stories that are so well-executed that they sell me on a premise with which I was less than enamored. If you’d told me that I’d feel sad about FCG’s sacrifice or extremely in favor of Phineas and Jonas’s romantic relationship during early C3 or, frankly, even the minute before I listened to Trustfall, respectively, I would have said “huh, really?” But both of these events were thoughtfully built to a point where they felt like meaningful and interesting choices for the story to take, even if that was not apparent to me earlier on.

So: the metric I’d use to judge a god-killing C3 is the same as that of any long-running story. I think there is a universe in which Campaign 3 could have made the demise of the gods a good and compelling story. But that work simply has not been done. The atrocities of the Vanguard, Weave Mind, and the Dwendalian Empire under Ludinus Da’leth; the callousness shown towards all Exandrians and Ruidians by the Vanguard and Kreviris Imperium; and most importantly the fact that there haven’t been new reveals of terrible things done by the gods and the story has instead striven to paint them as more fragile and complicated than what we’ve seen in past means that a sudden twist would, well, be cheap and only hit hard if you’re stupid. You can contradict a past story in an installment (or the earlier work in a long-running series) in a way that is not undermining if you are able to tie it together and show new information that was not available earlier! But that’s the key: it needs to be clear that the earlier works were showing a specific perspective (already a very tall order given the protagonist-only POV of D&D campaigns) or that the situation has drastically changed. If you fail to do this, then as you said, it’s undermining and it’s poorly done and a bad story.

I think that last point is also really important in thinking through the fandom response. I mentioned that I can be sold on a premise that didn’t win me over initially if the execution is strong. I think some people, and especially those gunning for a “The Gods are All Bad” story are so terrified of not being validated or of being wrong in their predictions or of criticism from other fans that they can no longer enjoy a story or comment meaningfully upon it. To which I say skill issue. I am thrilled and even grateful that, as previously mentioned, FCG had an arc that deepened their character and addressed my earlier criticism such that I could enjoy episode 91 as much as I did. I was mildly spoiled on the potential of Jonas and Phineas getting together and was, to be honest, slightly dreading it as I’d always preferred a platonic interpretation of their relationship, and then the scene in which it happened (and everything since) has been so deftly handled that I’m fully on board.

I am a far better analyst and critic of fiction than a creator of it, and I’m open about this. I am constantly surprised in ways both positive and negative by how other people tell stories, and that’s why I come back to them. I want the story to be so good that it expands my horizons and comfort zone and shows me something new. I find little joy in a story validating who I already am and what I already think. I want the story to make a better argument for what it has to say than I can make against it. If this is a competition between the story and me, I am rooting for the story to win over me and in doing so, win me over; and I am disappointed when it doesn’t.

I am also a physicist, and, famously within our understanding of physics, pretty much anything can happen; it’s all just a matter of probabilities. And so it’s hard for me to say “there’s no way this could ever be done well.” It’s very easy, however, for me to say “the eye of the needle one must thread to do this well is a micron in diameter and constantly moving.” I think it’s possible to turn the concept of a god-slaying Campaign 3 into a story that, rather than clumsily ignoring or discarding C1 and C2’s theses, transforms them and puts them in a new and unexpected light. But the narrative dexterity check required for that has always been high, and only gets higher as the actual Campaign 3 story continues along its current path.

[archivalofsins]

So, I've seen the new Amane gifs and-

Spoilers under the cut.

Big sister Shion, I think you misplaced your taser-

Again.

In all seriousness, I would like to discuss the second gif in this batch. Since at first glance, it looked like Amane arriving home to me. However, it could come off as an abduction. If she's leaving a public area or is in one. Something that's still a possibility given all the papers covering the door.

Unless, for some reason, Amane's family just hangs papers on the inside of their home door or own a business that does that. Either of these things could be the case. Since we see them working on a set in Magic, and they could put things up at home like this to remind them of certain things. That's not uncommon in familial residences, after all.

However, the papers and cards there looked to be put up for advertising purposes. Kind of like what one would see on a bulletin board just on the door. This is usually done on the front doors of businesses, which is why I said this makes it possible for this scene to be an abduction.

Now I do believe that Riyone, the one shown to use electricity on Amane in Magic, is more than likely her mother. However, I also believe her parents are more than likely divorced, and her mother was using the pilgrimage thing to kill two birds with one stone.

Q.09 Tell us your family structure.

Kazui: It’s only me now.

Amane: It was my father, my mother and me.

By explaining away her father's sudden absence and displaying to Amane that her father believes in this too. This would motivate Amane to take these teachings more seriously because, as we have been shown over and over again, Amane has great respect, admiration, and love for her father.

Q.02 Who do you look up to?

Kazui: You won’t know them even if I say, but I have a childhood friend I really respect. Sorry for just answering someone from my personal life.

Amane: My father. He’s been away on a trip for a while, but I think that’s very honourable of him.

So, if she was led to believe that her father followed these teachings as well she would try harder to be a good girl in order to,

A. Make her dad proud.

B. Be like her father.

C. Possibly see him if she's good enough.

Q.13 Who do you want to see right now?

Kazui: They won’t see me anymore.

Amane: My father. I want him to praise me for all my hard work.

Japan favors leaving the kid with the parent, which will cause the least change in the child's life. So, they tend to give custody to the parent the child is living with at the time. This is why it's become common for parents who are about to divorce their spouse to either kick the other out of the home or move without notice taking the kid(s) with them and then get a divorce.

"Parents secretly moving out and taking children with them isn’t unheard of-in fact, it’s often viewed in Japan as justified, in part because of instances where domestic violence is alleged. Such unilateral separations are legal in Japan, but if the other parent attempts to take the child back, that can be considered an illegal removal."

This would explain why Kazui and Amane were paired together as their stories may heavily involve highlighting the failings of the divorce system.

If Amane's mother did do this, then her father wouldn't have any legal right to see Amane, and her mom could just come up with any excuse for his absence she wanted. Something that divorced parents tend to do anyhow even when not given such beneficial circumstances to do it under.

"Each year, divorce affects roughly 200,000 Japanese children, double that of 50 years ago in a country where the total number of minors has plummeted. Of children with divorced parents, 1 in 3 said they eventually lost all contact with the noncustodial parent, a 2021 government survey showed. Given the system’s winner-take-all approach, spousal battles have only intensified, escalating the economic and emotional damage." X

Overall, given what we know, Amane's situation is rather complicated. However, I find it very telling that a lot of people are willing to endanger/torment a child for the safety and comfort of a bunch of adults.

Simply because this is always how child abuse and neglect has been treated by society. Especially when done by a parent. The concept itself is so abhorrent and senseless that many would rather look away from the issue entirely than confront it. Even if they must shift the blame to the victim to do so.

It's easier to go,

"Well, that kid must have done something to get that response from their parent."

Objectively true statement. Something was done to cause this. That's simply how cause and effect work. However, that something can range from things as simple as helping another person in a way they deem unacceptable

or breathing wrong.

The victim undergoing familial abuse doesn't get to pick the struggle it fucking picks them. It's Monday and their primary caretaker had a bad day at work? Guess who's getting beat again. This may be the rest of their evening or week now. Aw shit- did they get a low grade on a test?

Hope they're ready to go to the quiet room or sit at a table for seven hours to be taught this from the beginning. Because they're making their parent(s) look bad. If only they were smarter and not a complete embarrassment, then they could be having fun right now.

20/06/18

Amane: Thank you very much for teaching me. ……but, though I realise it’s strange me saying this after I asked you, I must admit it’s kind of unexpected. You give off the impression of someone who wouldn’t want to get involved in things like this.

Kotoko: ……well, you’re not wrong. I’m surrounded by people who could all be murderers, so I don’t plan on going out of my way to talk and make friends. I can’t let my guard down. But I like ambitious people like you. If you want to study more, then I’m happy to teach.

Amane: I see…… You look scary at first impression, but I quite like the way you treat everyone equally regardless of whether they’re older or younger than you. You don’t just treat me like a child or anything like that.

Kotoko: Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. I don’t have any plans to let you get away with something just “because you’re a child.” ……remember that. There, I’ve finished marking. 83%. How do I put it… Even though you act like this, it’s not like you’re super brilliant at studying or anything, huh.

Ah, they managed to fix all those things; man, that's nice. Why do they always need something (clothes, food, water, etc)? Have they thought of their parent(s) needs lately? Recognized how hard their parent(s) are trying. They have it rather good, considering some kids are out there starving. How can they be so ungrateful?

Shifting the onus of blame onto the victim is quite literally a good way to make sure the bar is always moving, and success is unobtainable. This is literally the first thing abusive parents do. Make the abuse seem like the child's fault.

"Well, that was then - this is now. You don't have to keep behaving this way. You're in a safe environment."

An objectively true statement. However, that may not feel emotionally true due to how long the individual has been in an unsafe environment, the likelihood of them changing the behavior that they learned to cope with that immediately is pretty much nonexistent.

"If they were unhappy, they'd say something. It would show more they wouldn't be doing as good at school."

No, they wouldn't; depending on the severity and duration of the abuse.

Usually, the intention of child abusers, especially parents who abuse their children, is to not get caught. They will actively go out of their way to make it look like things are as good as possible. If the kid does or says something that contradicts that they'll just punish them. So, when well-meaning people go,

"Is something wrong?"

The first instinct for a child suffering under familial abuse may be to lie. Because if they don't, whoever they are talking to may discuss what they have told them with their caretaker leading to them getting in trouble again. Sometimes parents that partake in this type of behavior will even coach their kids when it comes to lying.

"How'd you get this?" - "Playing."

"Why did you miss so many days of school?" - "I caught a cold."

"Hey, do you like it at home?" - "Yep, my life is great. My parent(s) and I do (acceptable to mention hobby here) on these days. It's a lot of fun. Why do you ask?"

For children living under these sorts of conditions every waking moment is a fucking balancing act. They either say the right thing or get in trouble because at the end of the day they're going to have to go back home. So, children living under these sorts of conditions are well aware of what happens if they act a certain way in public by the time they reach school age.

"I mean, it could be that... but it's best not to pry."

The quiet part out loud. People don't want to be bothered by it. It's uncomfortable and usually considered to not be the business of outside parties unless it's child services. So, people look the other way and get uncomfortable when it's even alluded to near them. They'll look at the kid and go well, that's bumming me out. Best to think about things that can be solved at the end of the day. I mean, that's their legal guardian. I can't tell someone else how to raise their kids.

That's just how a majority of people view child abuse/neglect. Because children are either a nice thing to have around, or a problem that should be ignored or handled. Everyone in Milgram outside of Amane has been given a good deal of the benefit of the doubt. Despite them all being older and just as capable of understanding their behavior along with the hurt it has caused while rationalizing why they did it as she is.

Amane is the only character in the series who has been treated with the scrutiny of an adult despite everything she's been through. To me, that's very fucked up. It's gotten to the point that I don't believe people even recognize they're doing it. They don't recognize they're justifying continuing to let a kid remain in an abusive environment because it makes their lives easier. Because then they'll be more comfortable.

Directly mirroring the way child abuse is pushed to the side and swept under the rug in the real world.

Because at the end of the day people only care about children when it's convenient for them. When it's easy to care, when the person they're protecting the kid from is someone they already dislike. People have no trouble pointing out these issues then. Because it's easy to talk about the pain of children or someone being younger when it helps others support or deny something they already feel a certain way about.

It's easy for one to conclude that what Futa did was wrong, that Mu, Yuno, or Haruka made a mistake because of their ages and upbringing. Yet when shown the horrendous treatment Amane has endured and her age being put on full display from the beginning... Somehow there's still room to dance around the idea of whether she should be Innocent (Forgiven) or not.

Despite being given the option to not continue to torment the youngest, most vulnerable, and consistently neglected person here, many can suddenly find a good deal of justifications to continue her punishment.

All I did was say a bad thing was wrong, how was I to know that was gonna to happen; what about what you're doing?

"Futa isn't sorry, he just doesn't want to get punished." A lot of people wanted to discuss remorse earlier and how Futa displays it. Yet, showing remorse isn't indicative of change. Plus, remorse and shame look a lot alike.

The most important thing with Futa is he not only recognized that what he did was wrong regardless of how he displays that- He, also took the necessary steps to change his behavior moving forward. In order to prevent what had happened before from happening again. He's actively attempted to show more concern for those younger than himself since entering Milgram.

Even though he isn't particularly good at communicating, he goes out of his way to attempt to check in on others and asks about them. Despite saying he can't afford to do that he's still done so. Even going to inquire about Haruka.

He can do that but despite seeing the consequences of our judgements, a lot of people are too comfortable with doubling down on some of the most disenfranchised characters within Milgram. Simply because the idea of that sort of person existing to some is a personal offense.

That's fine Milgram let's you vote on that alone after all. However, I definitely wouldn't like my name being used to excuse the mistreatment of others. So, instead of saying it's for another prisoner's sake how about we cut out the middleman and get straight to the point.

Some people within the fandom would be more comfortable with Milgram if Amane were restrained. It would give certain individuals a sense of peace of mind.

No matter how easily broken that will be by whatever prisoner decides to act up next during the intermission in response to their verdict.

Despite everyone in Milgram showing little or no fear of Amane and Mahiru literally saying this,

Q.13 What do you think of Amane?

Shidou: Us adults need to do something for her. I can’t do anything while looking after the injured right now so I have to leave it to someone else, which is bothering me.

Mahiru: I would’ve loved to play a lot with her if she was doing better.

So, it'd be nice if people stopped using Mahiru as an excuse to hurt another prisoner that she has admitted to liking numerous times.

Q.10 Which of the other prisoners do you get along with?

Kazui: Shidou-kun, Mikoto and me all smoke together, so I think we get along well.

Amane: If I had to pick someone, then Yuno-san and Mahiru-san.

Plus, this is simply rich; looking back on all these people discussing the safety and care of children to compare it to how they're acting now. Justifying continuing the mental suffering of a child simply because it appears narratively convenient to them. You're going to meta vote the kid twice, really? Okay, go ahead.

That's the sort of place Milgram is after all. A place that says children only matter when they can fit into the framing most convenient to the one speaking. It doesn't matter if Amane is tortured blatantly on screen, it doesn't matter if she's having a rough time. Because a bunch of people have already decided that coddling adults who should damn well be able to protect themselves is more important than a child's safety.

Not surprising or disappointing, that's just the natural way of things in society.

I mean you might as well, I don't know-

Ignore the consistent signs of familial abuse happening around her, ostracize her because the idea makes you uncomfortable, avoid her like a plague. Put her in the corner because children are meant to speak only when spoken to.

Oh...hm that sounds familiar-

Lol, fuck kids though am I right? The only time people decided to care about Satoko, and her lived experiences, was when she was a teenager. Maybe if Amane was a few years older, then her lived experiences would matter. For now, though, nah-

Moving on! I'd also like to discuss two other gifs; the close-up of the baton with rope attached and the attempted flag twirling. Given what we've seen I believe that Purge March will be retreading what we are shown in Magic except subtracting Amane's idealized view of things.

It was implied that this was her ideal at the end of Magic through this image-

A scene that brings to question all of the presentation of Magic. That made me wonder if this is how things went or just Amane's more idealized retelling.

Star pointed out the absence of anyone in front of the stage in her post Sunday. However, there's another thing that's odd. The thing we see before the credits roll isn't everyone standing together as they are in the end but Amane by herself brandishing her wand-

However, unlike when she first brandished it her chibi form her wand moves from her left hand to her right back to her left again before the fake credits role at the end of Magic.

This also happens directly after everyone just mysteriously disappears like right before this she was dancing with just Yuri and Riyone-

Since we noticeably see Yuri isn't holding anyone else's hand and Riyone doesn't seem to be either. So, where did Gachata and Gozake go? Then when they are back in the credits it's like this-

Instead of Amane being in between Yuri and Riyone like she was before she's between Gozake and Riyone.

Since she did this when no one else seemed to be present this could mean a variety of things. One that she may have used the wand more than once, two she did a routine of some sort which she just finished, or even denote handedness meaning her left hand is more than likely her dominant one.

Considering how her routine begins with the wand in her left hand and ends with it in her left hand. However, I don't know enough about baton twirling to say. Plus, every video I've found on it has emphasized starting with one's right hand regardless of dominance. So, this is odd.

(Star here! Given the religious aspects of Amane's circumstances, it could also be something to do with the stigma left-handed people have/had. They might have forced her to use her right hand for things. A prime example of this is the gif of her attempting to spin the flagpole. This could indicate that Amane was forced to use her right hand, resulting in a loss of motor skills you wouldn't get when using your dominant hand. Further backing this is the fact that in the close-up gif of Amane twirling the baton, she starts with her left hand and then transfers it to her right)

Adding to that in baton twirling people are specifically trained to use both hands and it's widely accepted that one is meant to start with the right. Though the baton is usually meant to be the length of one's dominant hand.

X

X

Video on Baton Measuring: X, X

Outside of giving us a possible idea on her handedness- This also adds more depth to this answer given by Amane in her first written interrogation-

Q.14 Do you listen to music?

Kazui: I guess I do from time to time. It’s all super old music though, so I don’t think you’ll know it.

Amane: I don’t particularly listen to it for fun.

Because if Amane is majorette which has been all but stated, she would listen to music predominantly to practice her routines. This would give more depth to her pairing with Kazui as well. Since they've both been heavily related to the performing arts in some way.

Baton Twirling routines: X, X, X, X, X

What Amane appeared to be doing in the new gif using the baton with the string: X

(What Amane appears to have attempted with the flag toss: X)

Back to how Purge March may be the same events just less idealized.

If you look at these frames-

Notice that the way the flagpole lands on Amane's head and how the impact affects her mirrors this scene of Gachata flicking her forehead.

(This time, it's Star typing something! Gunsli was busy for a bit so I was headed to write this up o7

Taking this and the gif of her desperately trying to make her way through the water to grab the flag in front of her, it's likely they are going to use the switch from flagpole to baton as an allegory. Specifically, to better illustrate the timeline of events/order of circumstances.

Though, to expand on this, the flag may also represent the idea of everyone living happily together that Amane refers to in Magic. The baton, however, represents the ideologies surrounding the cult her family is involved in. If this is true, then it could also be visual shorthand for the idea of Amane changing her priorities.)

With that I think we're done here. There's a lot of interesting things about Purge March and I think it's going to follow up on Magic well. It's making me more and more excited for Double. Milgram has been very hush-hush about Amane and Mikoto. So, their songs might just end up speaking more than any of the others so far.

[burinazar]

Alright someone actually said they couldn’t find my takes and wanted to know and unfortunately I do love to Yap so here’s a post about my Wicked feelings. It’s now been a very long time since I directly engaged with either piece of media (the book or its musical), like, almost a decade in the case of the musical, but I’ll try to read the book again soon. As such, various parts of this may be Totally Wrong about specifics of narrative, but also…hopefully they aren’t. 

I have not seen the movie. If it diverges from the musical then I don't know about it. Consider this to be about the book and musical.

If anyone’s very emotional attached to the musical narrative, you may find this post overly negative and want to give it a skip. You have been warned. Also, obviously, spoilers for various versions follow.

 It feels very central to the point of the book for me and central to the reasons Elphie is a tragic, heroic, and emotionally resonant character that she a) essentially failed at everything she tried and achieved only incremental progress for her causes, b) died, and c) died without anyone else ever really knowing her story. This is a story that asks us “is this a life worth living, a life that you can find heroism and admirable traits in? Is it worth having tried to do the right thing the entire time if it isolates you from society and means you must live a life like this and nobody ever even KNOWS all you strived for and in the end you fail?” 

And to me the point is, yeah, it still was, and that’s why it hits so fucking hard. Although I don’t really recall how point A pans out in the musical, B and C are fundamentally undercut by, well, obviously by her not dying, but also (and maybe even more importantly?), by having Fiyero alive and Glinda knowing her story. 

The book also has this looming and relentless sense of the march and grind and brutality of colonialism, genocide, and the like (this is why it feels so important that even though she failed and died she still tried, she still fucking tried – because basically everyone in real life who meaningfully and directly opposes colonialism and totalitarian regimes see many people they care about die while they are helpless to stop it and then they die themselves and then their stories are not perceived and recorded and they don’t get to run away happily with their lover and they don’t have a best friend who knew the truth and is still around.)

Other than just the changed ending there are dozens of ways that the shiny marketable tale told in the musical reflects the neutering of these themes. I feel Turtle Heart’s existence and the related backstory of Elphie’s family is pretty fundamental since the fact Elphie’s parents were in a poly triad with an indigenous man that was publicly lynched and they both spent their lives wracked with guilt for it after is the reason her childhood was the way it was and what predisposed her to spend her entire life perceiving the horrors and injustice of the world and fighting them. Replacing all of that with ‘she is the way she is because people were mean to her because she was green’ is just insulting and depressng. Fiyero and his family also being from a culture of brown/black people that is genocided out of existence is important as well. That’s the entire reason they bond! Replacing him with a random chipper jock (usually played by a white guy, but replacing the race of the actor would absolutely not solve this issue) and getting rid of the entire plot with his wife and kids and Elphie’s guilt piled upon guilt for neither confessing to nor saving them is… is… I just can’t explain how depressing it all is, that the version with all of this cleansed and gutted is the version embraced by the world.

The entire existence of colonization and genocide of various nonwhite populations of humans as a prevalent theme in the book (and the entire reason the Wizard is bad lol. Also given he came from his world his deeds are clearly an extension of the real world enterprise of colonialism and genocide perpetuated against real life native peoples) is just swooshed out of existence in favor of, if i recall correctly, keeping literally just the talking animal oppression plot point. (And that’s toned down from speaking Animals being an ethnic minority that’s getting killed off just like the oppressed humans, to ‘in this magic land animals can talk but he wants to use magic to make them stop talking!!! :’(  anyway I, hmm, don’t love the implications of who seemed most sympathizable to the audience……but that’s probably way too cynical there.

This next part is subjective but the book also feels like it links defying oppression to gender and queerness in ways that were removed. It was written in the 90s so the explicitness of the queerness I’m going to describe would probably not really meet the standards of today almost thirty years later but it still feels prominent and serious to me. The aforementioned relationship (Frex and Turtle Heart may or may not have been sexually involved like Turtle Heart and Melena were, but the book definitely says they both  ‘loved’ him so I do consider the three of them confirmed as a queer, poly relationship), and the inclusion of an actual gay couple among Elphie’s uni friends (they later die from what I think was implied to be something of an AIDS analog; keeping in mind this book was written in the 90s that was probably fresh in many people’s memories, the positive depiction of a gay couple with fantasy AIDS would have been meaningful at the time), and the little recurring subtle thing of Elphie being mistaken for or rumoured to be intersex or defying assigned gender which feels to me like her role as a witch and disruptor is juxtaposed with the concept of witch as a gender role disruptor…unfortunately all of this is infinitely more interesting to me than whatever handwavey shippable potential lesbians are teased in the adaptation that people are obsessed with. (Although if someone likes them as a ship the part in the book where they share a bed during their journey to Oz feels very queerplatonic.)

I dunno. It all…feels like something that would happen IN the book, honestly. The book’s story of Elphie isn't marketable and lovable. It’s the kind of story that would make people wonder if they WOULD mistreat a person like this in real life and would feel justified doing so. It gives you very uncomfortable things to sit with. The version in the adaptation allows the audience the happy comfort of identifying with heroic Elphie and knowing they would never ever be so wrong as to malign a person like that in real life, the comfort of knowing they’re not complicit in regimes like the wizard’s. The book, the permeating and structural and unstoppable nature of the evil depicted and the real reasons someone might like Elphie, an alienating, uncompromising woman who doesn’t bathe and sleeps with a married man and gets a bunch of people including children killed and fails and fails and fails but never stops trying for what she knows is right but who cares about that, who would root for an uncharismatic failure anyway – is a version that wouldn’t inspire popular sympathy, so she was erased in favor of this more simple and lovable version. 

The entire modern reality of the ‘root for the villain’ retelling genre is always doing what the musical of Wicked did. (It in fact may very well be because of said musical.) It isn’t ever really about the untold story of why to root for someone who has done what you find unpalatable or unrelatable or despicable because it was right to them; it’s about taking the easy and palatable concepts of heroism and villainy and simply swapping the labels and color coding on who’s who to introduce a surface veneer of novelty while allowing the audience to carry on in general comfort with their predefined conceptions of who is deserving of sympathy and comfort. But what feels so insulting and frustrating and so damn sad about this specific case is that here, they do so while soothed by the consolation that they’ve definitely now been thoughtful and introspective about the subject and are able to sympathize with those different from them. They’ve definitely now learned to question the narrative. Right?

I’ve compared it to Hunchback before (Disney Hunchback fundamentally changes the plot and the themes of the original novel, but i happen to LIKE Disney Hunchback) and been like “why am I capable of loving one adaptation that does this and not the other” and, I dunno, there are a lot of reasons, but probably just because the kind of narrative the book has and the things it wants to say about the nature of heroism feel bitterly sad to lose, and it feels bitterer still to know most of the world was happy with what we got instead. I try to keep it packed away because I don’t want to bum people out and I know a lot of people that love the musical and I can verge on sounding judgemental of the people who like it, but it’s not the audience’s fault this was the version they were given and they happened to like it, it’s the fault of the tellers of the narrative…I dunno. 

I don’t have a good ending to this post. The only hopeful thing I’ve ever heard about it was someone pointing out to me recently that people are regardless of content more inclined to enjoy stageplays with music than books, which I took as reason to believe ‘maybe a musical of Wicked which had kept what was so bitterly amazing and meaningful and tragic about the original would actually be just as loved if it existed’. So though I know it’s pretty much guaranteed any further adaptations or versions will keep the ‘new’ story and that if they didn’t people would hate them lol, I’ll hold on to that little scrap of imagining that maybe people at large WOULD be capable of embracing the original narrative too, rather than the popularity of the musical being an indictment that says the world can’t handle a story like that.

Did the witch come back?

Not….

Yet…!

[rainbow-journalist]

Silly sketches

Hi, I made some small doobles, without details, just sketches, yesterday on the table, unfortunately I didn't do it in the notebook, and I had to erase it, so I thought: "why not try to draw this digitally?"

I had made some characters that I would like to make a complete drawing of, buuuuuuut, I'm lazy, and my style isn't that good, even though I've already done the others. The characters present here are the ones that I find interesting for the plot and therefore, I wanted to see how they look in my style. Also, sorry for the bad English and the huge text below. These are not good drafts anyway.

Let's go with the first one!

........I-I can explain.

I was thinking about chapter 4, and I was looking at drawings by this artist (Yakou looks great in their style!) so I was curious, how I could draw Yakou in my style, Also....eh, does he look good in a security uniform? It made me wonder a little bit and that's why Yuma was there in the background...that was very suspicious.

I confess that I wasn't drawing him much yesterday, he actually looks pretty good here? I'm having trouble drawing his hair in a way that I like and am satisfied with. I know, I need to practice more, draw him more, I would like to draw him with Yuma. (kokolight?), but I'm lazy, and I have to draw Vivia more, help!!

I swear to you, she was the one I loved drawing the most yesterday, it's not the best sketch you'll see, but I loved her!! I would like to draw her more often, I love imagining that she became Makoto's right hand, and she protects him, I can see her as a great fighter. I love seeing the dynamics of a female character protecting a male character, especially because Makoto is too small and fragile for him to fight alone, and she has an umbrella, She can protect him from the rain while strolling around Kanai Ward, right? I want to do something with it.....!! aaaaaa

I loved drawing him too, I also like to imagine that he continues by Makoto's side and in Amaterasu, Seth could be someone from the medical sector, I like to imagine him and Martina protecting Makoto, and being loyal to him in every decision the CEO makes, and supporting his relationships as well. Also, they might be worried about Makoto is pushing himself too hard at work after the game, they would probably support the boss taking a break. Seth deserves the best, and I think he looks cute in my style.

last one

Stop thinking about Makoto, Ugh 🙄✋

Yomi seemed the easiest for draw his hair, still having trouble making the outfit, but the hair is much easier. I've never drawn him and the others before, so I get obsessed at first with trying to make them as close to Canon as possible, after days of drawing the same thing, I manage to adapt a style for them, Like, they were an alternate version of the game version. I try to make them as recognizable as possible. This is the case with my version of Makoto and Yuma, my current obsession.

Still thinking about chapter 4, I may not like Yomi, but he can be interesting... I think of him as the fake villain in terms of narrative. Tw: spoilers

Yomi continues to be a villain who does bad things, but the narrative tries to make you believe that he is the true villain of the game, while Makoto is the mastermind, the true antagonist of the game, Got it? Yomi is like bait for you to believe that he is the only evil, even though Makoto's motivations are noble, and he hates Yomi's actions, there's still that thing. I was also thinking about a Boss fight, Genshin Impact Scaramouche style, where you would use Yakou, Yuma, Vivia, Shinigami and Makoto, as the main playable characters in the fight, Yomi would be your opponent, and every time you used Makoto in the fight, he would have exclusive lines just for the CEO.

Also, thinking about Makoyomi ship, it's a toxic ship that people like, huh? I like to imagine Makoto annoying Yomi every single day, even post game. I don't know if I'll draw this in the future.

Ok, I think the end now, I don't have much more to say, they are small drafts that I wish I had done in the notebook, because they were better yesterday, Also, this was just an excuse for me to show which characters I want to draw in the future, besides the ones I've already shown here and my favorites. ✨

[goldrushenthusiast]

What are your thoughts on the District 11 tributes in the 74th (Rue and Thresh) and 75th (Seeder and Chaff) The Hunger Games?

How do you think life differs between Distinct 11 and 12?

*Spoiler alert*

What do you think about the inserted scene of rebellion in District 11 in the first movie (scene after Rue's death)?

Thank you :)

@curiousnonny

I think district 11 is a fascinating district! On surface level it seems similar to 12, which I think deep down Katniss believed too, but it really isn’t like it at all which I think impacts how Katniss eventually sees it.

You know how there’s the Seam and the merchants in District 12? I think it does exist. It has to. I think Dill and Chaff are from it, for reasons I explain later, but I had to get that out of the way because in the same way Peeta & Katniss have fundamental differences from growing up in the Seam vs Merchant, I think it affects the tributes as well.

I think we should also consider Reaper and Dill from BOSAS, so I’m gonna do that lol.

I think that, for Thresh, the hunger games were an opportunity. A chance at something beyond working on the farms, no matter how terrible it might seem. While I don’t think he was excited for it, I think it would’ve been a glass half full situation he was going to utilize. I genuinely think he stood a chance at winning.

He would’ve shared the same knowledge of plants and stuff as Rue, would’ve kept his moral compass working (the thing with Katniss & owing), and it makes sense he got as far as he did. District 11 is definitely a competitor in these games, noticed even by Coriolanus in BOSAS.

For Rue, on the other hand, this was worst case scenario. I saw someone else mention there was a higher chance for her to be chosen because she had so many siblings and probably took out tesserae, and I think that’s exactly right, and having so many would only make the whole thing worse. I don’t think she had a huge chance of winning, but would’ve even more than the average 12 year old and if she fought hard there’d be something there.

Her climbing skills, of course, give her as much of an advantage as Katniss, plus her stealth. I think she could’ve survived till top 8, especially if she’d stayed in the trees. I also think her knowledge of plants would both help her, and hurt her enemies if she was willing, although I don’t think she would be. She could pull a fox face & Peeta move almost, leaving some poisonous and some not harmful berries or something in a “hiding” place for the careers to find. I just don’t think she’d survive in hand to hand combat. Plus, if she ever found him, I think Thresh would help her even though it wouldn’t help him.

Seeder and Chaff, I can’t be as sure about as I don’t remember as much about them, but I think at least one of them (Chaff, I think) would’ve been from the merchant part of D11. Both being statistically liking, and from his outlook on the games, both before and after he became a victor.

Just read up on him at Hunger Games wiki, and the fact he lost a hand but refused a capitol prosthetic is really very interesting, especially in the farming district. He was so assured that he’d be fine, he’d be taken care of, that he didn’t need one. It was probably an act of rebellion, but goes to show how self assured he was about what the capital would do for him.

Seeder grew up in the seam part to me, given the fact that she never turned to drugs, alcohol (like Chaff did) or any type of escape. She’s mentioned as looking strong despite being 60, and you can’t really achieve that without working hard in childhood and stuff, and continuing to, which I think she would’ve felt was her duty.

Thresh and Reaper also have some interesting similarities, both with their thing (& Katniss’) about owing people. I think D11, and their strict policies, force a sense of community upon the residents that binds them together and helps them trust others both more easily and still more carefully, because of how risky it is if you’re wrong.

If anyone is wondering what Reaper’s thing about owing people is, let me remind you how he apologized to the tributes about having to kill them before the games started (also relating to how strong the residents of D11, or at least the men, interestingly enough, are), and promised to make the capital pay. This was before Jessie spat in his eye btw, so there’s really no excuse for him to be saying other than a strategy or actually meaning it.

Reaper collecting the tributes and lining them up, however, could for sure be attributed to the rabies, but I don’t really know. We’re led to believe it is by Coriolanus because of how unempathetic and unfeeling he is, so of course someone caring is automatically categorized as crazy, and of course that part is used as foreshadow, but it’s still something to think about. How d11 views things and people and companionship.

Dill, however…she’s Dill. She’s tiny. Sickly. Couldn’t tell you much about her, and sometimes I honestly get her confused with Wovey, except Wovey lived longer. Dill was literally the first official death in the games, ofc excluding everyone who died from the bombs and such.

Something curious about Dill is that she’s a snitch, and by that I mean she told a capitol guy Reaper killed a peacekeeper (also, what the hell Reaper? Goes to show just how strong he is and why he considers himself so capable). I think Dill was probably merchant, also she did have tuberculosis, which would’ve been not as rare there.

She also probably knew she was dying no matter what and wanted to get everything out there, which I don’t blame her for.

Woah ok I did not expect to write so much about the tributes. Woah.

Anywho, life in 12 vs 11 is definitely as different as, say, life in 2 vs life in 7. Honestly, 12 would probably be more similar to 2, because of the mining and huts as houses and stuff like that.

In 11, you’re expected to be outside. All the time. Working, working, working. Jobs are assigned, roles specified, it’s very orderly and there’s not much anyone can do about it. Work also starts early, probably as old as 10 due to how experienced Rue was working in the trees. Meanwhile in 12, you can only start mining at 18, which Katniss acknowledges as a weakness.

This is a bit off topic, but the mining age probably started to be an issue after Coriolanus showed up and realized just how much worse he could make the lives of d12 people by raising the mining age (both in the games and money wise)

Back to the original point, In 12? If you’re outside, that’s fine. The peacekeepers love the hunters, and we know some townsfolk venture to the edges of the meadow and the woods to forage as well. Getting your own methods of food is fine, nearly encouraged.

11 is also way more strict, which Suzanne makes clear to us a lot. When Katniss visits 12 and they shoot the old man. Talking with Rue about punishments. Lots of stuff that makes Katniss do a double take and realize maybe she was lucky to grow up in 12 instead. It certainly has more freedom, despite 11 having the same working conditions. Truly, I think 11 would be the worst to grow up in, even though it helps so much with the hunger games.

Love the scene, btw!! It really supports my point about the strictness of D12 and how it forces a sense of community and stuff. It was a nice addition and realistic I think.

Also, the fact Rue knew the boy who was slow and his story about forgetting to put back the night vision glasses is so much more than an introduction to the glasses!! it shows how much the residents know about each other and how well they remember based on what the peacekeepers enforce.

Ok this has got to be one of my longest ramblings to date, but I loved it! I don’t focus as much on the original series as I should when I usually do these, and it was a fun change of pace actually having to go through the wikis instead of just remembering like I do for BOSAS.

Thank you for the question @curiousnonny , and I hope you enjoy my answer as much as I liked writing it! As always feel free to debate (but not argue or insult) with me in the comments as I always love having these combed through and stuff and getting a chance to learn more.

[accirax]

DRDT Archetype Analysis + Predictions

Recently, I was reminded of this post I made a while ago about the repeating archetypes of canon Danganronpa casts (and how I invited people to apply it to their own fangans/fangans they liked). And I thought, hey! I can do that myself with a fangan I have very vocally enjoyed: Danganronpa: Despair Time!

To be clear, I am very much NOT accusing DRDTdev of being unoriginal or ripping anything off. The cast is one of the things I like most about DRDT, and that’s because they’re all very inventive, exciting, and well-developed characters who make surprising yet never out of character choices.

However, I also think that they fit the archetypes I developed quite well. This is for two reasons: one, the dev has almost certainly played the canon games, and therefore may have been inspired by them. The plot (or at least the motives) thus far seem to be strongly inspired by Trigger Happy Havoc, so it would make sense if some of the characters could have been too. And, secondly, I posited in the original post that this assortment of archetypes made for a good and well-balanced cast in general. It’s possible that DRDTdev had no intentions of paralleling anything, and simply came up with the cast that they did because these types of people work well together.

I’m probably disclaiming too hard again.

Anyways, this post is part character analysis and part story predictions. I’ll explain how and why I think each character lines up with the archetype I chose for them, and in some cases, how I think they might follow or defy the narrative staples set by their predecessors. As such, there are major spoilers for all three mainline Danganronpa games, as well as DRDT through Chapter 2 Part 1. Let’s get started!

“The Protagonist can be basically whoever you want. The main attributes they probably need are a generally friendly and sociable disposition (to facilitate FTEs), and enough intellect to survive a Class Trial without too much help. However, they likely harbor some elements of self-doubt and possess an ultimately hopeful attitude.”

(I wish I’d had a less obvious assignment to hook people in, but that's just how the cookie crumbles.)

Well, Teruko kind of fills the role of protagonist by default, because… she’s the protagonist. However, as many have noted, she’s a bit atypical in the role. But, that’s okay! Because the Protagonist is probably the most flexible role of all. Really, the only boundaries on it are the ones set by the mechanics and flow of the game.

Teruko is far less sociable than Makoto, Hajime, or Kaede (or even Shuichi), but the format of DRDT gets around that by not actually having any FTEs in the main story. And, even in the Bonus Episodes, Teruko doesn’t participate. In the main story (especially after Chapter 1), Teruko pretty much only stumbles into conversations, or has someone else initiate them. FTEs are the one point of the game where you have to explain why the protagonist is going out and seeking conversations on their own, so it works very well that DRDT was published in a format where that doesn’t have to happen. The intellect is obvious– Teruko is very possibly the smartest person in the Class Trial, so there’s never any question of whether she would be smart enough to solve any of the mechanics.

The other two aspects aren’t as important to being a protagonist; they’re just common threads that I noticed happened to be shared by Makoto, Hajime, and Kaede. Teruko doesn’t have self-doubt as much as self-hatred, but I think that Makoto’s self-doubt originated from him being a player insert. This was the first time that anyone had ever played a Danganronpa game, so of course they might be a little nervous going into it! However, those who watch DRDT are almost certainly familiar with at least one Danganronpa game before they watch, and beyond that, you don’t even play as Teruko. Thus, Teruko doesn’t need to be someone the “player” needed to relate to at all. It’s one of the many reasons why I think DRDT uses its existence as a video series brilliantly.

The “ultimately hopeful attitude”... has yet to be seen. This is important if Teruko needs to give a big hope speech at the Chapter 6 Trial, but there’s no guarantee that’ll happen. It’s possible that she could get to the Chapter 6 Trial and still refuse to believe in others, likely if she winds up being the mastermind. Or, she could die before she makes it there! I still believe that Teruko could have the hope necessary to fit the standard protagonist mold, but DRDT is full of subversions. I look forward to seeing what happens with her character!

“The Calculating Support aids the protagonist, specifically in the logic department. They’ll bring important deductions in each Class Trial they attend, and tend to have an important role in the story’s plot. Giving them an arc where they open up more and gain friends goes a long way to endear them to the audience.”

Surprised to see Min in the support slot? Probably not. After all, it was pretty clear to me that the Chapter 1 Investigation was meant to tell us that, after Xander died, Min was going to be the real support character of the game.

… Didn’t work out so well for her, but, hey, A for effort.

Being the Ultimate Student, Min is obviously quite smart. She took a pretty active role in the Chapter 1 Trial, despite being the blackened. Being the blackened, however, limited her ability to attend more than one Trial, or have an important role in the story’s plot. That’s not to say she’s irrelevant, though– by being a false support, Min cemented her role in the story as the person to fully extinguish Teruko’s potential trust. Maybe if it was just Xander, Teruko could have believed he was just a bad apple and gone on to trust most of the others. However, after Min ALSO pretended to be her friend and was willing to sacrifice not just Teruko, but everyone else to stay alive, Teruko learned that no one was to be trusted.

I’m going to talk about subversions a lot in this post, both in analyzing things that have happened and things that I speculate might happen, because I think it’s something DRDTdev does quite well. A lot of characters, in my mind, are set up to appear like one archetype in the moment, but then do something different with the role in a creative way. Min is a subversion of the Calculating Support to make you feel the same surprise and betrayal that Teruko did. You think she’s going to be your new best friend, your Kyoko, your Chiaki, your Shuichi, and then they rip her away from you. And it sucks!

It sucks extra because Min also has a quickly implemented rendition of the “opening up to people” plot. She seems really closed off in her introduction, hiding her face behind a book, but helps everyone to bake regardless. She sees that Teruko is trying her best despite her bad luck, and develops a tentative friendship with her and the other two girls in the baking crew. Thus, when she sees her new friend being attacked, she acts on her character development and defends Teruko. Her reveal of this fact in the Class Trial endears us to her greatly before she dies, left wondering how much more sociable and helpful she could have become if she weren’t trapped in this damn killing game.

…Sorry for the downer! That’s just what happens when your new bestie is the Chapter 1 killer.

“The Chaotic Bastard causes trouble for the protagonist in unexpected and complicated ways, and drives a lot of the story’s conflicts. They’re very smart, so as to pose a serious threat to the survival of the group. Their outlandish ways give them a great chance of being the most popular and memorable character in the game.”

Thank god I’m writing this after Chapter 2 Episode 11! It makes putting David in this role much easier.

After all, it was in Chapter 2 Episode 11 that David fully revealed the main way in which he had driven the conflicts thus far– namely, his decision to encourage everyone to share their secrets in the hopes that another murder would occur. In that episode, he also has his second Rebuttal Showdown with Teruko, hitting two for two on that particular mechanic. Given that Teruko appears to be losing the second Showdown until Charles cuts in, I think that more than enough proves that David is smart, and specifically, smart enough to be a legitimate rival to Teruko.

The popularity is… well, already apparent. Although I wasn’t there at the time 2-11 dropped, all the evidence left behind seems to indicate that David quickly skyrocketed to being one of, if not the most popular character after his diabolical debut. You can really feel this role in the fandom’s reaction, I believe. Those who are fans of Junko, Nagito, or Kokichi are excitedly clapping their hands and grabbing the popcorn, whereas those who hated that trio are groaning at the thought of having to deal with one of those bastards again.

If David is meant to be a subversion of the Chaotic Bastard and not just an example of one, I honestly think the most likely way for him to do it is to survive. Yes, he could also do it by dying surprisingly early, but then the game would lack its Chaotic Bastard. Given Teruko’s arc about trusting people, missing out on her greatest antagonist could be a missed opportunity (but also, someone else could rise up to take on the role). Junko, Nagito, and Kokichi didn’t really go through positive growth arcs. Thus, it would be interesting to see what happened if a Chaotic Bastard actually made it to the end and had to change as a person.

Or, he could just actually be the Chapter 5 killer or something! Place your bets now.

“The Jerk might start off insulting the Protagonist, making themself an easy early enemy with their confrontational ways. But by the end of the story, they’ll undergo a character arc where they land beside the Protagonist as a trusted ally. The Jerk has high odds of surviving, due to their innate setup and payoff of personality.”

I’m surely not the first person to draw comparisons between Charles and Byakuya, and I likely won’t be the last. From his role in the Chapter 1 area investigation, Charles has been playing The Jerk pretty textbook. He insulted Teruko, Levi, and Arturo (and Xander and Whit in his introduction, too), setting himself up as an adversary.

And yet, we’ve already seen his character arc start to play out! Whereas Byakuya was making himself more antagonistic by messing with the crime scene, Fuyuhiko was orchestrating Mahiru’s death, and Maki was keeping her true talent a secret, Charles has made a true friend in Whit. He’s already proven to be one of Teruko’s strongest allies, respecting the kind of life she currently wants to lead while trying to convince her of the more trusting life she should lead. Between his newfound fear of blood and the realization that he forgot a good chunk of his childhood, he realized he wasn’t as infallible as he thought, and became a more understanding person as a result.

However… it’s for these exact reasons that I’m worried for him. While Byakuya, Fuyuhiko, and Maki were just beginning their arcs as of Chapter 2, given how much Charles has changed, you could argue that he’s just ended his. As is described above, the Jerk tends to survive “due to their innate setup and payoff of personality.” What happens if we’re in Chapter 2 and the Jerk has already paid off that setup?

It’s why I’m worried that Charles will be a subversion of the Jerk by dying. The Jerk typically has a long-running character arc that ends in survival; Charles has a short-running character arc that ends with a stint as a victim. It’s by no means set in stone (you don’t have to believe in any of this subversion speculation, it’s just my personal musings), but it’s a definite possibility. I get the argument for Charles surviving, as any good Jerk would, but… doesn’t it feel a little too good to be true?

“Whether they leave the game early or not, the Early Mystery sets up a question in the audience’s mind that will have renewed importance later in the story, possibly surrounding the main plot. Because secrets are within their nature, a closed-off and mysterious disposition will make it easier to not give too much away.”

Another role kinda assigned by default. Xander is the first death with a lot of secrets, hence, he’s the Early Mystery. RIP to his eligibility for the Sporty Dumbass.

There are still several questions surrounding Xander after his death. Like, was he guy in the intro? I think so, but, if that’s the case, what was the killing game he was trying to stop? Why did he need to kill Teruko, and, who was the one that wrote that note telling him to do so? What happened to his eye? The motive secrets were released after he died– which one was his?

Well, okay, Xander’s Bonus Episode Visiting Graves made it fairly clear that his secret is probably the “dead parents and siblings” one. But, about that Bonus Episode– what exactly happened in North C and Chariton? How was the Spurling Foundation involved, and what relevance does it have to the killing game? What document was he looking for at “Unnamed Student’s” request? These are just a few questions I’d like to ask of Xander that I can’t without a ouija board.

As a final note, I will add that Xander really didn’t have the closed-off and mysterious disposition that I wrote about above. However, I never said that was a necessity. Honestly, I think it’s much more fun that DRDTdev went down the path of making him so sociable and friendly that he didn’t give too much away. Xander was too busy arm wrestling Ace and fanboying over David; he didn’t have time to loredump!

“The Stalker is obsessed with another member of the cast, often in a romantic manner that the other person doesn’t reciprocate. They’re very over-the-top comedic relief, with silly sprites. In a lighter setting, you could boil this role down to ‘someone whose characterization is unignorably tied to another character.’”

Well, DRDT is definitely not a lighter setting. However, you could still make a pretty good argument that Arturo’s character as it is now would be far less potent without J’s presence.

Similar to David, Arturo’s stalker-hood only comes into play in Chapter 2, once J is revealed as a celebrity. I don’t think he’s necessarily romantically interested in J (moreso in her mom, honestly), but it’s definitely true that J does not condone his actions. And yet, Arturo follows her around, so intensely single-minded that it’s darkly comedic. Both Arturo’s mega simp sprites and intense reactions of disgust qualify for over-the-top silly sprites– I know I’ve gotten some good laughs out of them, especially when paired with the “beneath me!” or “beautiful people~!” voice lines.

It’ll be interesting to see how Arturo reacts to J in Chapter 3’s daily life (assuming both of them make it there) after she betrayed him by revealing his secret. Sonia and Himiko never really had a big declaration of war on Kazuichi or Tenko, and Toko was enough of a simp that she bounced back from Byakuya underhandedly revealing her identity as Genocide Jack. Will Arturo be the same?

Alternately, if J is the Chapter 2 blackened (as many people predict), it would be interesting to explore what the Stalker archetype would do if the object of their affections was suddenly gone. Toko and Byakuya and Kazuichi and Sonia both survived together, and although Himiko survived, Tenko died. Given that Arturo did have more of a character established before he started bothering J, maybe he would just return to that state? I’m not sure what purpose there would have been for building that relationship in that case, then, but I’m sure it would be something. 

“No way around this one: the Horny One is horny. When there’s a lull in conversation, they’ll spout some sexual humor that’ll leave the audience cackling or cringing. They direct their comments at everyone, not one person in particular. If this type of humor’s not your favorite, they can be substituted with different comedic relief.”

Whit… Whit my boy… there is so much more to your character than being the Horny One… you’re not even that horny… I’m sorry…

Still though, I think this is the right place for him. Whit is quite flirtatious, even if it’s not as outrageously sexual as something like what Teruteru or Miu would say. He also has spread his commentary around– not by much, but he’s at least said flirtatious things to both Teruko and Charles, and suggested that Teruko and Xander should be a couple. As far as I remember, he’s one of only two characters to bring up sex by name (source: his and Charles’ FTE), the other being MonoTV (I am NOT scrubbing through the entire series to confirm this is true).

Additionally, there’s the angle that I tacked on to the end: if being horny isn’t the author’s style, they can sub in a different comedic relief. This DEFINITELY works. Whit constantly cracks jokes with the canonical intention to make people smile. Even beyond his role in the story, I think he sees himself as the group’s comic relief. And, sometimes, those jokes happen to be a bit flirtatious in nature. That just helps him fill the role even better!

In terms of subversions and predictions, I think it would have to be giving him a more serious role in the story. None of Hifumi, Teruteru, or Miu really have any sort of long-lasting dramatic weight to their character. Hifumi’s only major relationship is to Celeste, which is played for laughs to show how pathetic he is. Teruteru is gone too soon to have a major impact on a cast that initially dislikes him, even if his tragic relationship with his mother makes a good run for its money. Miu survives the longest, and thus is probably the most important of the trio. But, even still, her relationships with Kokichi and Kiibo don’t lead to her character making any sort of major changes.

It could definitely be a subversion of the silly Horny One trope to give it the seriously important role of being the mastermind. Or, Whit could have his heart jerked around by our resident Jerk’s death, and have to figure out who he is when he’s incapable of laughing it off. Either option seems to project a long run onto his character… so, this analysis is definitely true! There’s absolutely no way that Whit could die early, and no best boy privileges were invoked in the typing of that sentence!

“Although the Sacrificial Strong One’s biceps are large, their heart is the strongest muscle of all. They’re a reliably kind member of the cast whose mental and physical fortitude are instantly likable. To tug at the audience’s heartstrings, they’re often involved in a sacrifice of some sort… willingly or not. But probably in Ch4.”

Look, man: even if Levi doesn’t actually get buff cursed in Chapter 4, it’s pretty clear that that’s the sort of thought we were all supposed to have when we first looked at him. He’s contemplative like Sakura, helpful like Nekomaru, and strives to be a good person like Gonta. He’s the only noticeably muscular member of the cast, even though Xander is very clearly stronger than him.

Not to mention, he already was involved in a sacrifice (sort of) in the Prologue. He was the one to attack MonoTV in hopes of ending the killing game. Sure, he probably wasn’t expecting to get attacked and nearly killed in return, but he also never outwardly regrets doing it, either. Yup! Levi is just a super strong sweetheart who might die, but if he does, it’ll probably be in a totally wholesome way.

…

…

… Subversion time!

Based on literally my own poll, I know that the majority of the fandom thinks that Levi will be the blackened of this very chapter. And, while it’s still possible that Arei’s death could have been a sacrifice of some sort, it seems unlikely given the probably brutal way she was killed (most sacrifices wouldn’t involve snapping your volunteer’s neck, I think). Especially if part of Levi’s motive was the secret that’s likely his, the “murderer without remorse” one. If Levi killed without remorse once, it’s possible he could do it again. And while it’s not like Sakura or Nekomaru seemed to regret what they did much, they themselves were the victims. That makes it a lot more likely that all parties would consent to the situation.

If you don’t think Levi will die as the blackened, there are still other options as well, obviously. Such as Levi Accomplice Theory, my personal favorite! That would be an extra level of subversion to the sacrifice. If he were helping a different blackened as an accomplice, instead of sacrificing himself, he would potentially be willing to sacrifice the others. Given that accomplice!Levi would probably make it through this Trial, he would be faced with the hatred of everyone who knew that he was willing to gamble their lives.

Levi could also not be involved in Arei’s death at all. That leaves the door open for him to still be a real, genuine Chapter 4 sacrifice. Or, let’s say that Ace either dies as the Chapter 2 killer or continues to hate and distrust Levi, pushing Levi to the brink (“why do I even bother?”). He could still become a blackened for selfish reasons abd subvert the stereotype, just on a later time frame.

Or, Levi could just survive! That’s something that the Sacrificial Strong One hasn’t done yet. It’s weirdly easy to forget that’s a possibility…

“The Caretaker takes a role of guidance and leadership for the cast in a stern, parental sort of way. Although they might have some old-fashioned ideals, they’re friendly and reliable. They tend to die early as an easy way to make things hard for the other characters, left mourning someone who didn’t deserve what they got.”

Well, that was easy. Hu definitely plays the role of the mom friend, admitting herself that she needs people to rely on her or else she’ll feel useless. She guides the group in several ways, such as when she advises Teruko to pair up with Charles in the Chapter 1 Area Investigation or gives Nico her support during their outing.

While I don’t think she believes in old-fashioned ideals the same way that someone like Mahiru does, her character is undeniably connected with the past and tradition. She plays an ancient instrument, and chose to go by the name “Hu Jing” to honor her parents and the name they gave her.

Where Hu’s character will go with regards to this archetype (and in general) is an interesting debate. Hu was the second most anticipated blackened for this chapter as per the poll, so if she did kill Arei, it could contrast the “friendly leadership” idea. However, it’s not like Kirumi wasn’t the Chapter 2 blackened– and for somewhat selfish reasons, too. Some could argue that it just means that it’s even more likely that it’s possible to happen, and I’m not totally opposed to the idea. But I want to consider options where Hu doesn’t die in Chapter 2 as well (considering she’s not even my personal blackened pick).

Assuming she (and everyone else I mention; you can remove the others if you think they die) survives into the next chapter, Hu will be in a very interesting place. Given that David has defected, she’s probably the last shot at a leader that the group’s got at the moment, making her a perfect Caretaker. Or, maybe not so perfect: Ace already hates her, Nico may grow offended at her babying, and David will probably be trying to undermine her efforts.

Hu could subvert the expectations of a Caretaker by being more opposed than anyone else was. Although Taka fell from his position as leader, nobody resented him for the intense grief he felt. Some of the boys might have disliked Mahiru because of her gender-based insults, but she was never a publicly opposed figure. Everyone relied on and loved Kirumi in Daily Life, and even after she tried to get them all killed so she could escape, people thought about condoning the sacrifice and rooted for her to escape.

There’s also the matter of Hu's hidden quote, “I want to pay for what I’ve done. But even then, I still want to live.” That suggests that she might do something controversial in the future that she’ll want to apologize for. If she is a more controversial figure, then the “mourning [Hu, who] didn’t deserve what [she] got” might not happen. She could become more of a villain.

Like Levi, there’s also the option where she survives! As stated, the Caretaker is a role that typically dies, and dies early. It would be interesting to see how a level-headed leader would react to the typical endgame craziness, especially in a Trial 6. Would Hu keep her cool and be a figure that everyone can rely on, or would she not be able to handle all the chaos and pop off? A late game finish, especially as a Chapter 4 or 5 blackened, would also be really interesting to explore– the rise and fall of someone who started off only wanting to help.

If it wasn’t already obvious, I really hope Hu survives this trial, because there are a lot of interesting places her character could go from here. In my opinion, she’s probably the character we’ve gotten the least individual focus on in the content so far. I’m speculating that that may mean she’ll be a central figure in Chapter 3, but we’ll see how the end of the Trial plays out.

“The Space Case is a weird but fun character that provides some bizarre comedic levity in dark moments. While they’re generally amiable people, there’s something undeniably weird about them that makes the protagonist hesitant to get too close at first. Their talent is likely artistic or metaphysical in nature.”

Aw yeah, check out that artist going on the art one! #ArtMoment.

Even so, it’s no stretch of the imagination to call Rose a Space Case. Although she’s generally pretty logical, not making the same kinds of bizarre claims that Hiro, Ibuki, or Angie would, her forgetfulness makes her come off as a bit of an airhead. Her thoughts can appear odd, like saying that she was staring at the paint, before she explains herself.

That “forgetfulness” is also the thing that makes Teruko hesitant to get close to her. Well, okay, maybe not Teruko– she doesn’t need any help not getting close to people– but, for all of the others! Rose has notably few friends, and the person who was arguably closest to her, Nico, (probably) betrayed her by stealing the turpentine from under her nose to kill Ace. Clearly, something about Rose is keeping people away from her, and I think it’s how little she appears to be taking the game seriously.

With the focus on her tragic backstory in Chapter 2, it’s also weirdly easy to forget how funny Rose is. She’s the center of a lot of great jokes! Her falling asleep at the table, suddenly throwing black paint all over her masterpiece, and pulling out the smart guy glasses when running her chromatography exercise are all great examples of how she’s still an effective comic relief character, haunting nightmares be damned.

Speaking of, Rose’s melancholy, her “ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum” lifestyle, is the main way that she subverts the Space Case archetype. Space Cases aren’t supposed to have deep, tragic regrets, they’re supposed to make silly predictions and refer to themselves in the third person…! Angie was definitely more of a force to be reckoned with than Hiro or Ibuki, but even then, the Student Council made her more of a frightening enemy than a pitiable figure. It’s an interesting contrast to give a character who’s so disconnected from reality a backstory that firmly, inescapably ties to it.

Furthermore, the Space Case has never been a killer. Does this mean that Rose could be pushed to kill by the debt that weighs her family down or the desire to preserve her mind before it’s further plagued with despairful imagery? Eh, maybe. I still think that Rose might survive, but that’s a straight up vibe check with no actual textual evidence to point to. Just… watch out for Chapter 3, queen. Ibuki and Angie are rooting for you…!

“Although they have their clear quirks, the Nice One is a generally friendly and normal character that the protagonist can befriend without much issue. They can be important as a relatable everyman that reacts to bizarre events or twists realistically. The main criticism they’ll probably face is being too boring, basic, or underdeveloped.”

Similar to how the protagonist in the killing game doesn’t typically take much issue with the Nice One, I don’t think many people would take much issue with me calling Eden a nice person. A Good Person, even. Haha. Ha.

Like Hina with her donuts, Sonia with her serial killers, or Kiibo with learning to be human, Eden is a little quirky. Her addition of extra sprinkles and the idea to put silly faces on the clock faces endear her to us by reminding us of the cheerful people in our day-to-day lives. Most people could also probably relate to her crying reactions in stressful Class Trial moments or body discoveries. After all, if most of us were really there, we probably wouldn’t have the level head Teruko manages to keep.

Despite it only being Chapter 2, however, I feel like Eden has dodged many of the criticisms of bland characterization that Hina, Sonia, and Kiibo have faced. That’s because in only two chapters, Eden has established herself as a central figure in this story (or at least the story of this chapter). She’s had moments of doubt and moments of pride, tried to reunite the group yet failed to execute her goals, and given Teruko a rundown on her entire worldview. Eden has undoubtedly changed a lot through her relationship with Arei.

If subversions are at play with Eden, I think it’s almost certain that she dies at some point. I know that Kiibo isn’t technically a survivor of v3, but he absolutely could have been. If you come at it from that perspective, then the only archetypes with three survivors in it are the Nice One and the Jerk, and I’ve already laid out why I don’t think Charles is going to survive. Not even the Protagonist makes it out with three survivors…!

Anyways, if you’ve been following my DRDT viewing experience, you probably already know that I believe Eden to be the blackened of Chapter 2. Such an early death, especially one with such a brutal murder method, would be a total blindside on what people would expect from the Nice One. Some people might say that it would be such a blindside that it would be character assassination were it to happen, but I believe that the groundwork has been laid such that she could plausibly be the killer AND the same ol’ nice Eden that we’ve come to love throughout the first two chapters.

Alternately, she could also die later in the story. I think in pretty much any situation, being a killer would be a more interesting twist on the Nice One than being a victim. A Nice One victim would probably be more of a “oh no, they were so kind, who would have done this?”, while a killer would follow more of a fall from grace. I would rather see the latter as a deeper dive into her character and what might cause a nice character like her to snap, but I’m aware that’s just my opinion. Either way, I sadly don’t think Eden will be a survivor of this game. If I’m proven wrong, though, I wouldn’t be mad– the DRDT universe clearly needs more Nice Ones in it.

“The Quiet Victim is a shy or anxious character who may initially struggle to meaningfully communicate with the rest of the cast. They were probably a victim of bullying in the past. While the audience initially pities them, their development will make the audience solidify an opinion in the end, whether positive or negative.”

Anxious? Check. Struggle talking? Check. Bullied in the past? Not only bullied, but overwhelmingly discriminated against as well– triple check. Man, this character analysis thing is easy! (/j)

Still, Nico definitely feels like the Chihiro of their cast, down to the focus on gender and association with a murder in the Gym. While they do still say some blunt things in Chapter 1, there’s much more of a focus and explanation of it in Chapter 2. Thus, I think it’d be fair to say that the writing may have intentionally made Nico seem like more of a Quiet Victim than they appeared to be just to better pull the rug out from under us later. Increase the pity so that there’s more of a WTF moment when they go sicko mode on Ace.

The Shy Victim already has a lot of variation to it, which makes it difficult to assess how Nico’s character might play out whether you think DRDTdev is playing it by the book or running with a subversion. Chihiro was a Quiet Victim who tried to become brave, and became a tragic early victim because of it. Mikan was a Quiet Victim who’s helpful heart led to her accidental corruption, transforming her into an unforgivable blackened for the sake of despair. Himiko was a Quiet Victim who found encouragement from Tenko and solace with Angie, and mourning both of their deaths turned her into a worthwhile survivor. So, what about Nico?

If I had to speculate (which, of course, this entire post is entirely consisted of), I would say that Nico is going for a “Mikan, but better” scenario. Nico’s already had the moral grayness and (attempted) murder inserted into their character, now they just have to reap the narrative rewards. Unlike Mikan, Nico’s character development was internally motivated (well, okay, it was externally motivated by Ace, but that bullying made Nico have an internal revelation) instead of being forcibly enacted by a magical disease. That makes any changes or consequences that occur feel much more fair for their character. Giving them some time after their probable lowest point also gives them time for a potential redemption arc, which could be very interesting to see.

I still guess that Nico will probably die in Chapter 3 or 4, but that’s another entirely unsubstantiated opinion. If they did survive, though, that’d be a W for the nonbinary community, so 👍 Rooting for ya, buddy!

“The Fandom’s Scapegoat is a unique role, being more determined by reception than the actual text. In the story, the character takes some morally gray actions. For whatever reasons, the fandom then decides to hate them, being hypocritically harder on them as compared to others. Their fans, however, will defend them to the death.”

Oh boy. Look, I don’t enjoy putting J here. I don’t want to imply that I don’t think anybody likes J, or that people shouldn’t like J, because that’s not how I feel at all! Honestly, this role is kind of broken, and if I were to make this post again, I’d probably change it.

The role would be titled something more like “The Poorly Remembered,” and focus more on how their writing seems to leave the audience remembering one of their worst, if not their worst, traits. For Sayaka, her betrayal, for Hiyoko, her bullying and whininess, and for Tsumugi, her repetitive plainness and the unpopular twist she heralded. There’s more to all of their characters than just those few traits, but it can be easy to forget that based on how their stories ended.

J still wouldn’t fit that role super well, as there are many more obvious reasons to like her character. Her blunt insults can be funny, her tsundere moments are pretty cute, and you can’t help but feel bad for her as a victim of Arturo’s stalking. Still, I would say that her most prominent character trait is her hatred of all things girly and subsequent denouncement of her mom, which can be annoying to some. I have a personal pet peeve against “just like other girl” types (I still like J enough, don’t worry), so hopefully that isn’t bleeding into my analysis too much.

Still, out of the cast, I think J might fit the Fandom’s Scapegoat role the best. Thankfully I’ve never seen anybody insist that she should just give Arturo a chance, because that’s definitely the wrong move. She did take a morally gray action surrounding Arturo, though, which is when she revealed his secret in the Class Trial. While it was probably the right thing to do, given that everyone will die if the truth isn’t revealed, the manner in which she did it speaks to a potential sadistic side. 

I’ve also seen the sentiment spread that in Trial 2 (and maybe Trial 1 as well, I wasn’t in the fandom at that time) some people believe in swap theory because they would simply prefer J to be dead over Arei, who they like better. Similarly, some people were willing to believe that J could be the killer in either chapter simply because she was the character people were most willing to part with. I am well aware that not EVERYONE who believes in swap theory or J as the killer did it for these reasons, but I am also under the impression that some people did. However, J is obviously not without her fans, and just like fans of Sayaka, Hiyoko, and Tsumugi, those fans will defend her to the death.

Given that the role is kind of broken and can be pretty much anything (attempted first killer turned first victim, sudden third victim who was conceptualized as a survivor, mastermind who was secretly the first killer), I have no idea what to say about J’s future in this game. I think that her remote and her talent are incredibly suspicious for being a killer. I think that her struggles to break away from her mother’s fame, only to be confronted by it time and time again, could make her a very tragic victim or a worthy survivor. I think that the idea of her and Ryan masterminding the killing game together is really fun and interesting. J’s role in Despair Time is a mystery to me, which is great! I can’t wait to be surprised by whatever she has in store in the future.

“The Strange Actor immediately stands out to the Protagonist for their unique, potentially dark style. They’re a mysterious character that deals with themes of lying and/or perceived, strange identities. However, that doesn’t stop them from being theatrical and showoff-ish, recognizable in any scene they’re in."

Dark style? Call in the Horror Fanatic to do the job right!

Veronika isn’t exactly as mysterious as somebody like Kiyo, but I think she embodies the ideals of the Strange Actor pretty well. I think the point is more so that, even if Veronika tells us exactly who she is and what she stands for, we (or at least most of us) still can’t empathize with her. This makes her stand out as a weird character that you could truly only find in a Danganronpa-brand killing game. That sort of vibe is what makes Veronika a good Strange Actor in my mind.

It’s much easier to fit her theatricality and dark style to the Strange Actor than it is her themes. The way she outwardly admires the most messed up of characters and seems delighted at signs of conflict steal the show whenever she’s on screen. The same kind of goes with her various horror-based fun facts (just due to how interesting they are), although that’s a trait that many of DRDT’s Ultimates share. The girl wears eyeballs as hairpins. I really don’t think I needed to elaborate this much.

Similar to the Horny One, I think that the best way for Veronika to subvert her archetype would be as an actually important character. Celeste and Kiyo both die as third killers, and while they’re important in the moments of each of their Class Trials, they don’t really factor into the main plot or the endgame. Gundham is definitely more important as the fourth killer and an important person to Sonia, but he’s overall silly enough that he kind of feels divorced from the main storyline.

Veronika could accomplish this in a few ways. One is with the theory that Veronika is the mastermind. That would be very convenient for the sake of my Color Theory, and a fun instance of hiding in plain sight to have the mastermind be someone who was noticeably enjoying the killing game all along. She could also be a Chapter 5 death, either as the killer (more straightforward) or the victim (but probably in a Nagito or Kokichi kind of way). Being a survivor would also make Veronika an important character, although that kind of feels like too much of a subversion, even for me.

As a final note, I’ll add that, depending on how the story goes, I think Veronika could potentially swap archetypes with Arturo or David down the road. Arturo’s dramatic attitude also stands out, and his focus on appearances fits with themes of identity; David is an Ultimate Public Speaker all about lying and acting in the way he wants the world to see him. Meanwhile, Veronika already kind of stalks Arturo and may continue to stalk David, and I just mentioned how her fate may mirror that of Nagito or Kokichi, two Chaotic Bastards.

Pretty interesting, huh? I bet if Veronika were here, she’d be a fan of this discussion.

“The Sporty Dumbass is a ‘punch first, ask questions later’ kind of character who’s willing to put everything on the line for their beliefs. Despite their jockish appearance, the Sporty Dumbass has a lot of heart, with emotion playing into their characterization in a major way. Basically, a himbo, except with a little more fight.”

If you don’t think that emotion plays into Ace’s characterization in a major way, I advise you to watch DRDT again. Of course, I’d generally advise that people rewatch DRDT because it’s a really good story, but, I digress.

Ace has emotionally overloaded reactions to pretty much everything. He’s super scared when Xander threatens to fight him, super pissed at Levi’s betrayal, and super sadistic when it comes to asserting his power over Nico. We already saw him put everything on the line for his beliefs when he admitted to holding back key evidence (the conversation he overheard between David and Arei) because he was so convinced that Nico was the killer. He leads with his heart, his brains a distant afterthought.

However, just because Ace leads with his heart doesn’t mean he has to be nice about it. And, I think that’s the main way that he subverts the archetype of the Sporty Dumbass: he’s a mean little dude! Leon wasn’t the nicest either, but he tried to get along with people like Mondo and was genuinely interested in Sayaka. He may have been the first killer, but that wasn’t even his choice– he may not have decided to hurt anybody if he wasn’t already put in a life-threatening situation. Akane can be kind of careless, but she had a strong connection with Nekomaru, and was generally willing to lend a helping hand. Kaito is by far the most caring of the bunch, giving his all to motivate Shuichi and Maki while he was still alive.

Ace has no friends. Most people want to stay far away from him, and the few that don’t, he pushes away. He has a lot more fight and general malice than the typical himbo. Thus, no matter what he does, he can’t be a straightforward Sporty Dumbass.

As such, I don’t have any strong subversion-based predictions for where his character would go. We already had a first killer, survivor, and fifth killer, so if we were just picking on what’s straight up the most different, it would be… middling victim, I guess? (Nico already tried their best…) Chapter 3 or 4 victim is certainly possible for Ace, but so is him still being the Chapter 2 killer in my mind. I sort of get survivor vibes from him, although I can’t pinpoint exactly why. I guess it’s just because his character has a lot of room to grow, possibly in a redemption kind of way? Or because it’d be kinda weird for him to almost die in Chapter 2, only for him to die for real a chapter or two later…?

Thankfully, I know I’m not the only one who believes in Ace’s chances of survival, so I know I don’t sound like a clown on this particular point. The jockish jockey boy may be around for a while yet, so perhaps he can have a change of heart.

“The Physical Threat is immediately noted by the protagonist as someone who, whether due to their talent or backstory, is someone who could easily kill others. The Physical Threat’s demeanor backs this up, their severity intimidating. But, don’t worry: there’s probably a soft spot down there just begging to be exposed!”

Now, I know that Arei isn’t actually noted as the biggest physical threat when the cast first meets– it’s Levi, though it should be Xander– but, hear me out. I put Mondo in here even though people were way more afraid of Sakura than him. Similarly, I think Arei still fits this archetype well, even if she wasn’t denoted as the scariest.

Part of this is because the emotions you’re supposed to come out of Arei’s introduction feeling are “disturbed and uncomfortable.” Xander certainly looks that way after Arei’s departure when he calls her “rude and disrespectful.” He and Teruko quickly turn the topic of conversation towards the subject of Xander getting into fights, which is a bit unrelated, but ends with Teruko telling Xander that he should stop getting into so many fights. An underlying message is that Xander shouldn’t get into any more fights with Arei, because based on the outcome of that (verbal) fight, he’d totally lose.

That’s not to say Arei isn’t physically intimidating as well! When I think of Arei’s strength, the first thing I think of is the thumbnail of Chapter 2 Episode 4, the CG where she strangles MonoTV with her own rope. She reminds us in the ensuing conversation that she can toss a bowling ball with ease, and her victory in the arm wrestling competition highlights her brutality. Eden was certainly scared of her once upon a time, although that was once again more in the mental department.

In terms of subversions… well, one department in which she isn’t winning is the death order. As you may have noted, every Physical Threat dies unfortunately in Chapter 2. Assuming you’re of the belief that Arei is really dead, then she played directly into that stereotype. The pattern was probably borne of another way to make the remaining cast fear the killing game. If even the most immediately threatening person can die at the start, then how can they really think they can make it out alive?

I think that Arei improves the archetype of the Physical Threat by having more of a character arc of her own, even in a limited time. Mondo changes slightly by admitting Taka as his friend, but he never resolved any of the trauma of his brother’s death. Peko was on the verge of realizing that she was more than a tool to Fuyuhiko, but her execution got in the way of her being able to act upon it at all. Ryoma very pointedly doesn’t change at all (other than arguably becoming more depressed), which is why Kirumi decides to take advantage of him.

Although Arei similarly got cut off just as she was beginning to change, we at least got to see more of what a changed Arei would be like before she died. That change was very plot relevant, too, as without it, Arei might not have died (sad :( ). There was more time and focus put into her character arc than there was into Mondo’s or Peko’s, even within an otherwise packed chapter. Just another reason to appreciate DRDT’s superb writing and characterization!

-

And, that’s the end! I hope that was as fun for you to read as it was indulgent for me to write. If people really like this, maybe I’ll consider running it for another fangan in the future, like DRA, SDRA2, or Eden’s Garden (although I’d probably need at least one genuine chapter before I write that one). Any of those casts would fit these archetypes worse than DRDT, but, well, that’s what makes DRDT a good starting place for explaining how it could apply to a fangan. I kinda doubt this’ll super blow up, given how long and dense it turned out, but… eh, maybe it’ll ~subvert~ my expectations.

…if you took a shot every time I said “subversion” in this post, you’d be deader than Xander–

[pebbledragon78]

Headcannons I have about Melami Goldmine (Edited because I have more info!)

Spoilers will be below the cut:

Yo! Just wanted to share an idea I had in my mind before I somehow forget about it.

I’m not sure if people even remember, but a bit I used to do when posting Rain Code memes was pretending that Melami and the other Chapter 0 Master Detectives were still alive. I know they’re as dead as a doornail (as hard as it was for me to accept at first); I just wanted to mess with y’all.

So having that out of the way, I want to share an idea I have for Melami, or more specifically, her Forte, as well as its requirements and benefits.

Upon introduction, we see Melami tell Yuma that clothes that reek or are unfashionable are out of the question when using her Forte. While I think that’s just a preference she set for herself, I also believe this gives way to a deeper idea. I believe that Melami actually prefers to use her Forte as least as possible, and will only use it if necessary or if she happens to like the victim’s clothes. This would explain why her official description makes note of her intelligence, since she would prefer to make logical deductions regarding a case before resorting to summoning the victim.

As for the reason why I believe she prefers to use her Forte only as a last resort, I think it’s because she deeply cares for her body. We see how much care she puts into it by frequently styling her hair, using make-up, preparing flashy clothes for her to wear even in casual settings, etc.. And while I am aware this is probably just because of her hobby as a fashionista, I find it very hard to believe that someone who puts that much care into her body and its physical appearance would be okay with giving it away to a foreign entity so quickly.

This also leads me to a second idea. The mastery of a Forte that can summon the dead while using one’s own body requires mastery of two separate abilities. The first is the ability to manipulate the dead, meaning that Melami can see spirits much in the same way Vivia can when he’s not using his Forte. This would also mean she can interact with Mystery Labyrinths as an outsider without risking her memories being erased (I believe people have already talked and made additional ideas around this concept).

The second ability (which I believe is far less talked about) is the manipulation of one’s own body as a vessel, meaning that Melami can also set restrictions within herself to prevent the spirit she summons from taking certain actions using her body (for example self-harm, murder, suicide attempts, etc..). Melami deeply cares for her body and its physical wellbeing, so restricting the spirit she summons to only answering questions seems like a reasonable headcannon to have.

Edit: Also! Melami being able to control her body means she can forcefully eject any spirit that tries to possess her body without permission. At least I think something like that would make sense.

Are all of these ideas already out there? Probably, but I still want to share what I’m thinking, bounce ideas off the wall and see if anyone agrees or not. Of course we might never know if any of this is true, given how we only got to know Melami for a few minutes. Either way, I hope that Rain Code’s success gives way for more content regarding the Chapter 0 Master Detectives in the future, since I’d love to hear about Melami again.

Anyway, these were all ideas I wanted to get off my mind, before I somehow forgot about them. If you made it this far, then thank you for listening to my ramblings. Have these Melami images as a reward, and I hope you have a great day 😄👍

Edit: I forgot to share this after uploading, but she would also have one of these in her bag in case of emergencies. This just screams Melami to me 😆

[ennard-is-near]

...got any recs for your answer to 17(underutilized fanfic tropes- ur answer was unhinged Michael & time travel) i have found myself with the desperate need to read these fics

Sure! First, here’s a list of the ones I’m about the explain with just a short summary if you’d prefer to go in to them without any spoilers. I didn’t go too in-depth for any of my explanations, but if you’d rather just stick to the one sentence summaries, here they are:

“Michael is Missing” by Starwrighter- Michael wakes up after the FNaF 6 fire and immediately runs away from home (Unfinished)

“Brother of Mine” by GardenOfManEatingPlants- Elizabeth notices that Michael is being weird, and their father is dead (Finished-Published as 3 short one shots instead of one long thing)

“His Empire of Dirt” by pearlandpine- Michael is sent to William’s childhood so he can try and stop the problem at its source. (Finished)

“The Zion Curtain” by Ekat - Michael and Henry BOTH go back to the past and are determined to stop William in their own special way. (Finished)

“Call Them Brothers” by OmnipotentToast- Michael is stuck in a Groundhog Day style timeloop the day of The Bite of ‘83 and trying really hard not to let anything go wrong. (Unfinished)

“Michael is Missing” by Starwrighter:

This is the one where he just leaves without packing or anything. Bro just walks out of Hurricane at like seven years old. It’s split between him walking around and trying to function as a stray child just out and about, and people looking for him. Also there’s a sprinkle of a trait I don’t see enough in depictions of Michael where, and I mean this in the kindest was possible, he’s not very smart. But I also sort of like the way where he’s an unreliable narrator sometimes. Ngl sometimes I can’t tell how much of it is just the author not doing a very good job keeping things straight, but sometimes moments have to be intentional and they’re really funky (/pos).

This one isn’t for you if you don’t want to read about a pretty young kid (even if it is just Michael lol) running away, sleeping outside and hurting himself accidentally kind of a lot. There’s also some stuff from the other Afton’s POV so if you aren’t in the mood to read people sad bc a kid went missing, that’s in here too. Also this author claims to be re-writing this, but I don’t know if they’re ever going to come back, so that’s something to be aware of.

“Brother of Mine” by GardenOfManEatingPlants

This is the other one I mentioned in my answer to the ask. It’s got two things, Obvious Michael time-travel but it’s not from his perspective (It’s from a split perspective, basically everyone has a chapter except for him) and also Michael immediately shoots William the second he realizes he’s in the past. The title is actually from the first part of the series, but each part is just one chapter. I think it’s a pretty neat idea and well executed. Poor Henry lol.

CWs are pretty light for this one. There’s guns and murder, and a framed-suicide but all of it is implied.

(I’m going to be so real with you, I lost my mind trying to find this one. I found one with a very similar summary and just assumed that it was this one, and wrote a whole thing thinking it was actually this one and that would have been the end of it if my list didn’t have to be a prime number and when searching for one more I found this original one. The other one was called “A strange passage of change” in case you want to see what it’s about, I didn’t finish it so I’m not formally recommending it, just letting you know.)

“His Empire of Dirt” by pearlandpine

You’ve probably heard this one recommended at some point but it ruined my life so I’m recommending it too. In this one, Michael is sent back in time to talk to child William Afton, but then he also hangs out with and befriends college-age William, both in an attempt to make things better before he even has the chance to to become the guy capable of murder (a difficult task). NGL this one goes off the rails a little bit and there’s some universe hopping and really funky time-travel stuff where he does it multiple times, but if you can look past that (and the imo kind of silly way he actually does the time traveling) then it’s a really cool take on William, Henry, Mrs. Afton and Mrs. Emily (Named Clara and Isabella in the fic) and Michael. That’s all I have to say, I know I did a bad job hyping it but genuinely it’s a really good time.

There’s a pretty extensive list of CWs for the fic, but the main ones are all centered around every character having horrible mental health. Trauma and guilt and just good ol’ mental illness (which is technically unspecified for a while but I don’t feel bad telling you that it’s diagnosed as BPD). Also, this one is really long and if you’re not looking for a 69-part (seriously) epic then you probably won’t enjoy this absolute novel of a fic.

(Also, this author in particular has some other AUs that I really enjoyed but there is a fully established multiverse going on in here. “His Empire of Dirt” is mostly [except for one chapter] self-contained but there’s other works that get wayyyyy more in to it. I honestly won’t say too much more because it’s easier for you to just go on a journey of your own through this author’s AUs that weave together with this one. If a FNaF multiverse sounds intriguing to you, definitely go check them out!)

“The Zion Curtain” by Ekat

No idea why it’s called that. But this one is silly and fun. I like that Michael and Henry are together on this one, it’s fun when they team up. Michael is having so much fun just pissing off William and Henry is actually the one taking the situation more seriously most of the time. But they’re both fun and they’ve got a silly dynamic. Not a whole lot else for me to say about this one without crazy spoilers, it’s a fun time. Short/Medium length (~15,000 words) and complete, so that’s always nice

There’s a fair bit of drinking and a fair bit of William Afton being not a great dad. Also murder.

“Call Them Brothers” by OmnipotentToast

This one is a little different but I’m stretched a little thin on “Unconventional Time Travel Fix-It’s” so I’ll count a time-loop as one. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Michael wakes up the day after The Bite of ‘83 and has to do the whole day over again until nobody gets hurt or dies or anything but it’s sort of impossible. This one is unfinished, but I think there’s still hope of this one being finished, it’s been updated since I first read it so that’s a good sign. This is also the shortest one, at only a planned five chapters with four being done.

CWs mostly just revolve around The Bite of ‘83 for this one. Blood, death, mutilation and hospitalization. There’s some other stuff on a chapter by chapter basis but the author does a good job putting specific warnings for each chapter.