#it's hard to explain but art feels like a second language to me that i use to translate the world into something i can better understand

[aurosoulart]

Where do you get your inspiration.

primarily from nature and my inner child! I'm drawn to things that make me feel a sense of wonder and joy at the world

I also use art to explore a huge variety of different styles and genres - since I have a reputation for being able to draw a lot of different things as a commissions artist, I keep my work versatile and try to take inspiration from.... pretty much everywhere

I never have just one source of inspiration and my work is always changing depending on what I'm interested in at the time :)

[spooky-pop]

Any tips on how to draw Poppy's hair without it looking like a legit tree? I'm struggling so hard and it's making it impossible to draw any Broppy art because of it 😔

I finally got some time to put together somewhat of an answer for this?? Again, I'm not so great at explaining things so I'll do my absolute best!

I used to struggle so much with drawing her ponytail, a lot of my older art bothers me tbh because I don't like how I approached drawing her ponytail. I tried looking up images from the movies and even the video game, and I experimented with a few different methods. I actually found that the Poppy ornaments I have on my desk served as the most solid reference material I could have. So I studied the figure and have been incorporating that into my newer works, and it absolutely changed how I approached drawing it.

Here are some photos I took from different angles to really show off the shapes, second image is how I visualize it when drawing. Thinking of the hair as "pieces" or "tufts" really help, and breaking them down between foreground and the background.

Try practicing off these images and see if it shifts the way you draw hair! Tracing helps too because it helps your brain just figure out shape language. After doing some traceovers, I then just tried sketching some very quick Poppy pony's and it already felt a lot better

And then, here are two illustrations where I'm proud of Poppy's hair because I incorporated these refs into them:

I personally feel like thinking of the hair this way really sells the volume of it, as well as showing that it's soft and fluffy as opposed to strands of hair.

But yeah! That's how I do it. The more you draw it over and over the more it starts to become natural!

[showtoonzfan]

Hey it’s been a bit! The Mammon episode finally came out, so here’s my review!

Pros:

- The sign language scene was cute. Kinda weird that a kid was seeing a show that was clearly for adults but I love me some representation so it gets a pass.

- Despite Blitz not really needing to be in this episode, I thank god he had little screen time and more time was dedicated to Fizz.

- The fish ladies (despite having wonky color palettes that made them EXTREMELY hard to look at) were cute.

Cons:

- Mammon is so flat and uninteresting but I don’t know what I expected from a creator who always hypes her characters up that always end up being one of the three go-to personalities she picks for her male characters. In Mammon’s case he’s just a loud mouth cursing bum so way to ruin another Deadly Sin and make them boring af, moving on.

- I don’t like how Mammon and Fizz’s relationship are similar of Val and Angel’s, Viv keeps recycling stories, characters and plot lines ect, it makes Angel’s story for Hazbin really predictable/underwhelming and not exciting to look forward too especially since we already have the “mafia bad daddy” aspect to him too that they pulled for Moxxie. I guess the idea of Mammon being a controlling ruler is fine on paper but not much is done with it, Fizz just quits in the end like it was easy with zero consequences so what was all that build up for.

- Fizz himself once again feels REALLY out of character, he’s just too soft compared to how he was introduced in season 1. He’s constantly nervous in this episode and insecure, as well as walking on eggshells, and even in Oops he wasn’t THIS sensitive. I’m all for characters struggling and being kicked down but it has to make sense and not feel forced, and once again it feels like Viv is trying way to hard to make the characters she once introduced as snarky assholes to uwu innocent babies. I refuse to believe Fizz was actually INTIMIDATED by this random geeky imp who insulted him, as well as the fish ladies whom he was weirdly nice and welcoming to. It’s also weird seeing how uncomfortable/nervous he was around his fans when I thought the whole point was that he LOVED praise and loved being famous, at least that was season 1 Fizz. Now he feels retconned. Seeing him say “I just need this gig” is weird too, the explanation to why he went through all of this makes no sense, Fizz still has Ozzie and is famous in the Lust ring, and I understand Mammon is his idle but to go through all that abuse for so long for something that could have been so easily avoided feels forced to fit the plot, but it also makes Fizz look dumb.

- There’s confusing lore stuff regarding Mammon and Ozzie, and it makes me realize that Viv should have picked ONE storyline aka ONE Seven Deadly sin to go with Fizz’s story because this is getting mixed up. Fizz acts like if he looses this completion, he looses everything, which confused the heck out of me because no he wouldn’t have? First of all, Ozzie is a fucking powerful sin, how would you loose him? Second, from what we know from season 1, Fizz is a jester who performs at Ozzie’s club. It was Ozzie who built the sex robots across the rings of hell, NOT Mammon, and in season 2 we see that Fizz is under Ozzie’s care and lives in his house. Yet for some weird reason Mammon also represents Fizz and uses him for profit, but it’s not really explained in a way that makes sense, like Love’s art had said in her Fizz redesign video, Fizz’s job is really confusing on what exactly he does. Having both Ozzie and Mammon represent him overcomplicates things and the show did a poor job at explaining how this goes.

- Once again Viv dumps trauma and struggle onto her characters without building it up first. When did Fizz ever give off the impression that he was being controlled or abused, or even that he was so insecure and constantly walked on eggshells to be perfect. In Oops he was happy to be in the spotlight and happy to get the attention, he bragged to Blitz about how successful he was. He seemed happy to perform for Mammon and talked of him highly, and now you’re pulling an Angel Dust situation where he’s expected to be perfect 24/7 and it gets to him emotionally, while also being someone who’s physically and mentally abused. Yet another season 2 episode that wasn’t planned, same as how Millie wanting to feel important wasn’t planned, same as how Stolas seeing Blitz as genuine love wasn’t planned. Different episode, same issues.

- I’m so done with the Hell lore bro, this place officially has no rules and demons can just do anything without consequences. There’s no class system, there’s no rankings, there’s no power dynamics, screw anything that Viv says. There was no fucking reason why Ozzie and Fizz’s relationship needed to be a secret. There was no reason showing Ozzie threatening his workers to not tell anyone about his love life if he was just going to admit it to EVERYONE THE NEXT EPISODE IN FRONT OF ANOTHER SIN ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME— what was the POINT. What is the point of Stolas and Blitz’s conflict. What is the point of Stella being classist. What is the point of these class systems and rules if you can just announce that you technically broke a hell rule and no one gives a fuck and you get off scott free. Mammon telling Ozzie “you’ll regret that” like a cartoon villain doesn’t do anything either. What is he ganna do? Tell Lucifer, the character that canonically won’t appear in HB because the sins won’t appear in HH? If Lucifer rules over the sinners, who the fuck is in charge for the rest of Hell. Where’s the authority? And Mammon is just ganna come back for another episode to give the gang trouble cause lord knows we don’t have enough fucking villains already.

- It feels weird that Ozzie would just sit back while someone whom he knows is a piece of shit is treating his loved one badly. I get he was concerned but you’d think one of the seven deadly sins would have more power and authority.

- I was expecting some big gross bug-like thing to appear when Mammon was transforming into his final form, only for it to the exact same design but with small extra eyes and a spider lower half that isn’t even visible in most shots….GOD VIV.

Watching this episode also made me remind myself that this is supposed to be Hell. Seeing Fizz feel better and stand up for himself was sweet but these soft lessons and morals don’t belong in a show like this, and it’s extra aggravating regarding Viv’s double standard, how she can just pick and choose which characters she wants to be evil and which characters are saints. Overall not anywhere near the worst episode of season 2, but I am officially done with Helluva Boss so-

[diettwistup]

HALF OF YOU

PAIRINGS: tashi duncan x f!oc, art donaldson x f!oc, patrick zweig x f!oc

SUMMARY: No matter how bright Tashi Duncan shined, her best friend, Milan Mikaelson, wasn’t far behind. Though seeming second best, Milan would never let that define her career. Holding as much fame as Tashi, Milan encountered Patrick Zweig and Art Donaldson. Would this encounter change the trajectory of her life, and would it completely alter her relationship with Tashi Duncan?

WARNINGS: challengers spoilers, reader is milan mikaelson, sexual situations, language, angst, plot alterations.

NOTES: hello lovely people! so excited to be back n finally posting this next chapter. i really hope you guys enjoy this, as it’s a little bit of a filler chapter to get ready for the juicy stuff. also i was a little lazy and didn't edit much, so mind any errors! hope you enjoy kisses n hugs xx 💋

WC: 4.3K

READ BEFORE THIS: INTRO, ONE, and TWO

CHAPTER 3: CRACK ME AND I’LL CRACK YOU

STANFORD DINING HALL , 2007 1:00 PM

My eyes scanned the dining hall and all the students grabbing late lunches. Taking out my phone, I looked down to read a text from Art.

“I’ve got a table by the window.” 

Looking up, I almost immediately saw his backward cap and blonde curls facing me as he looked out the window, hands bridged. 

Softly inhaling, I walked over to where he was, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. 

“Hi…” I softly spoke, making him turn around and flash me his signature lopsided grin. 

“Hey,” He started as I sat down across from him. “Such a beautiful day. I just had to get a window seat.” He nodded his head towards the view we had. 

Following his eyes, I saw our beautiful campus basking in the hot California sun. 

“It really is beautiful if you have the time to stop and stare.” I sighed as I stole a glance at Art’s side profile. 

I felt my breath catch in my throat solely from his features. They really were perfect, and that’s saying something. 

“Ready to eat?” He snapped his eyes back to me as I tried my best to play off staring at him, grabbing a piece of my hair. 

“Yeah!” I spurted out, too eager for my liking, as I quickly stood up, student ID in hand. “Let’s go…” I finished calmer as I brushed my hair out of my face. 

I heard him softly chuckle as we went to go get our food. 

Returning to the table, I sat my tray down, looked at my food, and grabbed a piece of my hair to play with. 

Again.

“So, I wanna hear everything about how your semester went.” I smiled and crossed my legs under the table. 

Shooting me a soft smile while opening his water bottle, Art locked his eyes onto mine. 

“It’s been rough. Lots of hard practices and tough classes, but like we said the other day, it’s all gonna be worth it.” He explained before taking a bite of his food. 

Picking up my fork and poking my salad, I tilted my head. “Have you and Pat been keeping in contact?” I questioned as I took a bite of my food. 

Nodding as he chewed, Art put his fork down. “Yeah, we talk all the time, and he’s visited a bunch,” he responded. 

I knew about the visits since Tashi always told me when she needed…alone time. 

“That’s fun,” I continued to eat my food before looking out the window. “Tashi said he’s coming for her match next week. We should all do something.” 

“I like that idea.” I could feel him smiling at me as my cheeks heated up. 

A comfortable silence befell us as we ate our food. Surprisingly, it was very enjoyable. I liked this. 

I liked Art. 

When we finished our food and returned our trays, Art shoved his hands in his pocket and looked at me, letting his eyes ask, "What's next." 

Smiling at him, I bit my bottom lip and parted my lips. “Since we didn’t talk much, I wondered if you wanted to return to my dorm. I have a single, so we wouldn’t have to worry about disturbing my roommate.” I spoke as I played with my fingers. 

I could practically feel the happiness radiating off of his smile as he simply nodded. 

“Lead the way.” He responded and extended his hand out for me to take. 

Softly laughing, I grabbed his hand and walked us to my dorm building. 

His hand feels good in mine.

Reaching my dorm, I turned to Art as I unlocked the door. 

“She may be messy, don’t judge.” I playfully scolded as I opened the door. 

“Don’t worry, if yours is bad, mine is worse.” He laughed and followed me into my room. 

I closed the door behind us and put my keys down on my desk as I watched Art look around my room. 

Sitting down on my bed, I took off my shoes and moved my legs up to sit with them crossed. 

“This is cute,” Art said as he turned around and showed that he was holding a framed photo of Tashi and me from third grade. 

Tashi and I were standing back to back with our arms crossed, both making the silliest faces we could muster. Tennis rackets were in our hands, which you swear were bigger than us. We had just won our first of many doubles matches. 

Softly laughing, I stood up and took the photo from him, staring at it with a fond smile. 

“We were so young…” I whispered softly as I studied the photo. Art’s head was right above my shoulder, and I was looking down at the photo as well. 

“You never told Patrick and me about how you and Tashi met,” he said in my ear as I placed the photo back on my desk. 

Sitting back down on my bed, I patted the area next to me with a smile. “Come sit, and I’ll spill my guts.” I chuckled as he moved to sit next to me, taking his hat off and handing it to me to place on my desk. 

“Do I need to sell my soul for this information?” He joked and ran a hand through his hair while I rolled my eyes and gently hit his knee. 

“Shut up…” I chuckled before moving my hair behind my shoulder. 

“Tashi and I have known each other all our lives, really.” I started smiling at the memory of young Tashi and me. “Our mothers were friends, so we were bound to be just like them.” I laughed to myself, looking down at my hands. 

“I feel like we’ve been playing tennis since we were both able to walk,” I smirked as I looked at Art, who was hanging onto every word I spoke.  

He simply nodded to show that he was listening, a smirk widening at every new fact.

“We were doubles partners for years before we decided to play singles for better recruitment chances, and here we are.” I shrugged at this, looking at the photo on my desk while a lazy smile played on my features. 

All Art did for a moment was stare at me with a slight smile.

I wish he wouldn’t look at me like that. 

Quickly running a hand through his hair, he laughed softly before looking back at me. 

“I can’t say I’m shocked.” He smiles before flickering his eyes back to the picture of Tashi and me on my desk. “You two have something special.” He finishes and looks back at me. 

“Look who's talking,” I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and responded. “You and Patrick have one of the most genuine friendships I’ve ever seen.” I smiled as Art adjusted himself, our knees now touching. 

“Please,” He laughed and shook his head. “Patrick and I are more brothers than friends.” He smirked. 

“Exactly!” I exclaimed and subconsciously moved closer to Art. “That’s what I love about you two. I can tell you really care about him.” I tilted my head with a gentle smile as I placed my hand on his thigh. 

Art glanced down at my hand as my face instantly turned red.

“I’m sorry-“ I began as I retracted my hand, but Art stopped me by grabbing my wrist and staring right into my eyes. 

“No, it’s okay.” He spoke, eyes piercing into my entire being: soul, body, and all. As he held my wrists, his thumb softly caressed the sensitive skin of my palm. 

Biting my bottom lip softly, I turned my head to look out the window as my stomach churned. 

“So,” I began as I bit the inside of my cheek. “I’m glad you texted me…” I softly spoke, refusing to make eye contact. 

“Wow,” He started and shook his head slowly with a smirk. 

Tilting my head, I furrowed my brows and looked at him through my eyelashes. 

“What…?” I asked as I gnawed my bottom lip, and my face heated up. 

He threw his hands up in defense and let out a chuckle as he stared at me. 

“Never did I ever think that Milan Mikaelson would express any sort of feeling without having an attitude.” He laughed as my mouth dropped, and I chuckled before leaning in and smacking his arm. 

“You’re such an asshole!” I laughed, not realizing how close our faces were. 

He shrugged with a smirk before moving his hand to play with the sleeve of my hoodie. 

I watched him do this, eyes trained on his fingers before flickering to the roughness of his calloused hands. Sure, I had them, too, but for some reason, seeing him made me smile at all his hard work and dedication to tennis. 

“I told Pat about this.” He chimed and snapped me out of my thoughts, pointing between the two of us to signify that there was now an us. 

“I think he’s more happy than I am about this.” He laughed and rolled his eyes.

I turned my head to look back out at the window as I softly laughed. 

“Yeah, I told Tash,” I responded before looking back at him, his smile growing wider. “She was surprisingly chill about it.” I laughed as I thought of Tashi’s stubborn nature. 

Moving his hand from my sweatshirt to my thigh, Art smirked even wider at me. 

That damn smirk. 

“See, I told you they wouldn’t give a fuck.” He chuckled and patted my thigh. 

Rolling my eyes, I clicked my tongue and looked back at him. 

“Hey, I was just playing it safe!” I explained in defense as I leaned my head closer to his to counteract his smug expression. 

“When is playing safe ever fun?” he replied and leaned in, grinning from ear to ear. 

My mind trailed back to the hotel as I remembered the harsh eye contact between us when Tashi and I first arrived. This moment seems to be teleporting me back in time. 

Returning to my senses, I noticed that Art’s hand had moved from my thigh to my waist, and our noses were almost touching. 

“Art…” I whispered, almost warning him about what we were about to do.

He only learned more until his lips ghosted mine. 

“There’s nothing to worry about…they’re fine with it, remember?” He reassured me and moved a hand to cup my cheek, rubbing it with his thumb out of comfort. 

He was right. We can do whatever we want…I know we both wanted this. 

Softly laughing and smiling widely at this realization, I quickly pressed my lips to his and wrapped my arms around his neck. 

He, of course, kissed back instantly as his hands moved to the base of my neck. 

I could practically taste his smirk against my lips as I parted my lips to give him access. 

Swiping my tongue across his, I laced my fingers into his hair and gently tugged the blonde tuffs. All he could do was softly groan into my mouth before pushing me back gently on the bed to let me lay on my pillow. 

I smiled at this as I moved my leg to wrap around his torso and push my heel into his back to push him further down, whining at the slight friction below. 

I was almost totally lost in the kiss before Art pulled away after biting my bottom lip to catch his breath.

Panting softly, I raised a hand to brush a piece out of his face, softly humming to myself. 

“I really want to get lost in you, but I’m refraining myself because I want to show you that I’m all in. I don’t want a one-time thing.” He spoke breathlessly as he leaned down to press a kiss to my cheek and gently pick me up so that I lay on his chest. 

“I want us to happen. I need us to happen.” He continued into my hair as he gripped me closer, hands under my shirt, tracing shapes on my bare stomach. 

Smiling and closing my eyes, I moved my hands to play with his. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard something more perfect.” I laughed and buried my head more into his chest before continuing, voice quiet. 

“This is exactly what I want. Everything I need.”

NEXT WEEK- STANFORD DORMS 2007, 10:00 AM

“Are you excited?” I smirked as I sat with my head dangling off of Tashi’s bed, hands resting on my stomach. 

“Excited? Yeah, excited to beat that Pepperdine bitch.” Tashi finished as she sat at her desk and did her skincare. 

Scoffing, I turned my body around to sit upright on her bed. 

“Um, I was talking about Patrick coming…” I laughed with a subtle eye roll as I rested my chin on my palm.

“Oh,” Was all she said as she looked at her skin closely in her mirror. 

I fell back on her bed with a chuckle as I stared at her ceiling. 

“What about Art? How’s that going?” She chimed, grin so wide I could practically hear it. 

I blushed at the mention of his name and turned my head to face her, hair falling into my face. 

“It’s been good,” I smiled like a child as I thought about last week with Art. 

We’d been taking it slow to really get to know each other. Finding time in our hectic schedules was definitely a challenge, but we were both up for it. 

All I heard was Tashi snorting before standing up from her desk and moving to sit next to me on the bed. 

“I’m happy for you,” She smiled and draped her body over mine as I let out a laugh with protests for her to get off of me. 

Times like this made me wish that Tashi and I didn’t have to worry about the future. We could perpetually live in certain moments where we would only show certain sides of ourselves to each other. It was refreshing, really. 

Laying next to her, I grinned and brushed my hair out of my face. 

“The four of us should do something after your match. Maybe grab dinner off campus or something.” I thought out loud as I grabbed one of Tashi’s stuffed animals to lie with. 

Shrugging, Tashi sat up next to my head and pulled a blanket over herself. 

“Sounds like a plan to me,” she nodded before letting a smirk break out. Just think, this will be the first time the four of us have been together since the hotel.” I saw her eyes flicker with mischief.

Sitting up quickly, I gently pushed her off the bed as we both burst into laughter. 

“That night was fucked!” I laughed as I crawled to the edge of the bed to see her sprawled out beneath me, clutching her stomach as she continued to laugh. 

“Hey, but it brought both of us two attractive men who play the same sport as us!” She quipped before grabbing my arm and pulling me off the bed, laughing through her words. 

She does have a point. 

As we continued to laugh momentarily, I softly sighed and sat up, brushing my shirt off. 

“Well, I should get going. I want to grab something to eat before I go to study before your match,” I said as I stood up and walked to my backpack and shoes. Plus, I know you’ll want to have some alone time with Pat.” I smirked and raised my eyebrows at her as I bent down to put my shoes on. 

“Fuck off.” She laughed and kicked my foot as I cursed her out and threw one of her stuffed animals at her. 

“You’re being defensive because you know I’m right.” I stuck my tongue out at her before quickly putting on my shoes, fixing my outfit, and slinging my backpack over my shoulder so Tashi couldn’t throw anything back at me. 

“Love you!” I yelled as I ran out the door, only catching a glimpse of her shooting me the middle finger. 

Smiling to myself, I quickly made my way to the dining hall, not wanting to waste any time so I could get ample studying in before Tashi’s match. 

Reaching a hand up to my mouth, I bit my nails as I entered the dining hall, looking around to see if I knew anyone. 

Shockingly enough, Art and Patrick were sitting by the window, eating churros and talking about something. 

I decided to get my food before heading over, just in case I got caught in a long conversation. 

It’s happened with them before, who said it wouldn't happen again? 

Grabbing my food quickly, might I add, I walked over to the boys with a small smile. 

Patrick was the first to spot me, expression turning to a wide smile as he waved. 

This caused Art to look at who his friend was waving to, and his face immediately lit up when he saw me. 

How sweet. 

“Mila!” Patrick exclaimed as he got up from his stool and hugged me. “How’ve been?” He asked while I hugged back, laughing softly. 

“Awe, Pat, good to see ya,” I smiled before letting go of the hug. “I’ve been decent, pushing through.” I laughed and placed my food next to Art.

“Hi,” I whispered to Art while he wrapped an arm around my waist below my backpack and smiled at me. 

“Hi,” He responded with a lopsided grin and whispered softly. “You look good today,” He patted my waist while I gently chuckled. 

“How about you, Pat? How's the tour?” I angled my attention back to Patrick, who looked between Art and me with a knowing grin. 

“It's been great. I've learned a lot of things and am getting better every day.” He nodded and crossed his arms with his signature smirk. 

I smiled at this, genuinely happy for his success. I never really took much time to get to know Patrick, but I knew he was a good guy. He and Tashi made a good couple, and I know he was treating her right, which is all I cared about. 

“Well,” I began, patting Art’s arm, then grabbing my food. I have a huge test to study for, and I want to get a lot done before Tashi’s match, so I’ll see you two there?” I pointed between them, already knowing the answer. 

“You know it,” Patrick smirked before sitting back down on his stool and shot  Art a very large smirk. 

“Yup, I’ll text you.” Art smiled and moved in to press a small peck on my cheek, making my face heat up.

Well, that’s new. 

Laughing softly, I waved to both of the boys as I yelled, “Let's get dinner tonight with Tashi!” before making my way to the library. 

Something tells me that today is gonna be a great day.

STANFORD TENNIS COURTS - 2007, 1:00 PM

The walk from the library to the tennis courts was never something that I had never done before and was never something that I would do again. 

My legs were about to give out any moment, and you would think they would be strong from years of training, but when you’re carrying a backpack with textbooks, notebooks, multiple papers, and more, your abilities are truly tested. 

As I reached the bleachers, I walked up and sat near the middle, discarding my backpack and letting out a groan. 

“Tashi Duncan, you’re glad I love you,” I told myself as I pulled my phone out to text Art that I had seats for him and Patrick. 

After a bit of waiting and looking over my notes to get a little extra studying in, Art showed up, startling me as he pulled my notes out of my lap. 

“Hey, give that back,” I protested, staring at him through my lashes. 

“Hm,” he started before sitting next to me and skimming my notes, pretending to know what he was looking at. 

“The importance of oxygen in oxidative phosphorylation? Who wouldn’t know that?” He pointed to my section in the notes as I laughed and took them before putting them in my backpack. 

“The day you can explain cellular respiration, you can put a ring on it.” I joked as I zipped up my backpack. 

“Well, I guess there will be no marriage anytime soon.” He pretended to sound extremely disappointed before looking at the court.  

Rolling my eyes, I stared at him in confusion as I realized his partner in crime was nowhere to be seen. 

“Where’s Pat?” I asked as I rested my chin on my hand. 

All Art did was shrug and look back at me. “He went to Tashi’s dorm a bit after you left and told me he would meet me here.” He explained and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Hm, I see.” I slowly spoke as Tashi exited the locker rooms, the crowd cheering. Maybe you should send him a text,” I added as I looked back at Art.

“Yeah, let’s see.” He responded as he pulled out his phone and quickly texted Patrick. 

Not even a full ten seconds later, Patrick had responded.

“Well fuck,” Art said as he read the text. “He said they got into a big fight, and he’s not coming.” He sighed as he put his phone back in his pocket.

“Shit, that’s not good,” I spoke as I reached a hand up to my mouth and bit one of my nails. “Thank God Tashi knows how to lock in.” I continued and watched her stretch and warm up. 

Humming in response, Art’s eyes were focused on Tashi just as mine had been. 

I shook my head at the thought of Patrick and Tashi's fight. The match began, and Tashi started off perfectly, as usual. 

The crowd roared as she continued to score over and over again, strides faultlessly, obviously not letting the fight with Patrick get to her. 

When Tashi set the next ball, the volley with her opponent went down momentarily. I watched in awe as she strategically moved across the entire court, hitting the ball back with great force. 

“Come on, Tash!” I yelled as the crowd roared with me. 

“She’s really on point today,” I glanced at Art and spoke before my eyes locked back onto Tashi.

“I know, she’s so-“

CRACK

“Oh my god…” I gasped and stood up as I covered my mouth in horror while Art shot up, eyes wide.

Tashi was on the ground, thrashing and crying out in pain. Her screams wracked throughout the stadium as she gripped her knee.

“Fuck, Art, we gotta go,” I exclaimed and, without hesitation, sprinted down the bleachers, jumping over the fence and net with Art over to Tashi.

“Tash, hey, it’s gonna be okay…” I calmly spoke as I moved her head into my lap. Art grabbed her hand and rubbed it soothingly.

Moving her hair out of her face, I whispered softly down at her. All she did was cry and squirm back and forth, blubbering about her knee and how badly it hurt. 

“Shh, it’s gonna be okay, everything is gonna be okay,” I whispered as I wiped her tears away before glancing at Art, who was looking at me with a worried expression. 

Biting my lip out of anxiety, I looked back down at Tashi as she cried and turned her head to hide her face in my thigh.

Shit. 

STANFORD INFIRMARY - 2007, 2:00 PM  

Complete and utter silence filled our end of the infirmary as Tashi sat on a stretcher between Art and me. 

No one dared open their mouths while we listened to the physicians and tennis coach speak hushedly.

I knew this was going to break Tashi. She would never let anyone know that even me, but an injury like this is something that could severely affect her future. I reached a hand up to my mouth to bite my nails in anticipation of her exact diagnosis. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” A rushed and exasperated voice sounded from the doorway. Looking up, my eyes locked with Patrick’s as Tashi started to yell at him. 

“Get out,” She warned before raising her voice to scream when he wouldn’t listen. “GET OUT!” She spat and threw her entire body to point at him to get out. 

Patrick continued to protest, wanting to explain himself and apologize as his eyes darted between us, looking for some forgiveness. 

“Patrick, get the fuck out!” Art yelled when Patrick went to step closer to us while I closed my eyes, shook my head, and furrowed my brows. 

Why the fuck was HE yelling?

Crossing my arms and biting my lip, I sadly looked up at Patrick as I spoke softly. 

“Pat, I think you should leave.” I softly whispered, his eyes burning into my being. 

If Tashi wants him gone, he should go. 

All I was met with was his defeated eyes, pleading for this not to be serious. I turned my head away from him, and he finally nodded in disappointment and left. 

Sucking in a breath, I turned my body back to Tashi and moved to grab her hand, softly gripping it while she did the same back, her gaze pointing forward. 

Looking back up at Art, he only stared into space with a piercing expression. 

Sighing softly, I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall. 

So much for today being a great day.

[arn359]

Wine is waaaay to worse than i imagined😭😭😭. I will blame all the fic that i read about him and make like he was a nice guy. The fact that i will immediatly shoot the other au without question if he meet them is insane. And the way he always want more power and he will always try to manipulate the king . Also poor coffee😓.

Anon, I’m using your ask to ramble about Wine. And it’s too long…. So i think i will put the rest under the cut. After the pic.

I haven’t read much of fics that have Wine in it. But with so little information about him, the way it scattered around and languages barrier. I understand that ppl may have different view of him, also is the setting of the fic. If it’s on the surface, i guess he could be better???

But there’s a thing about FSG(Fellswap-Gold) being set in communist theme , Wine being the head of the royal guard, AKA he the head government. Idk about you guys, but for me. Any head government of a dictatorship system could never be a nice guy. NEVER. IT’S UNACCEPTABLE.

Though, you guys can have fun, just don’t forget it exists in real world. And even thought it’s not real. Propaganda exists, so is the media effects.

I summarized some of the timeline in the second pic (The art is based from the creator)

I hate Wine so much, but here i am defending him(?) nope just explaining my insight. (i still haven’t read the setting with proper translation , so this is my headcanon from what i understand)

Wine will immediately shoot other AU.

It’s both Gaster and the system that made him that way. He’s born to be the best solider. He trained hard, deem to be love by Gaster but Gaster only see him and Coffee as tools. After Wine feelings toward Coffee became ‘his only family’ Wine wants to protect Coffee. Wine changed to rely on Coffee being relied to him. Wine betrayed Gaster cuz Gaster want to get rid of Coffee.

Wine is a conservative, because that what the system always is.

So Wine will shoot other AU immediately because for the system. AU is see as threat. The AU would bring new possibilities and that’s against the conservative view that is to continue the old/current system.

(The dictatorship and conservative control the knowledge of their citizens. Keep their knowledge low so it makes them easier to control. Risks of having the AU be seen by citizens is not good. Citizens can’t see new things, can’t have more knowledge of other AU, can’t know that world with freedom exist. So the AU is see as threat)

But of course, Wine is not really a full conservative as we seen in some settings about him, like Wine doesn’t discriminate toward Undyne&Alphys, Wine support Grillby and Muffet interracial wedding. But the system, the time(their au set in old period), and social. Also is the way he grow up, the way he need to be ‘the best’. It rooted too deep into his mind. And it show with what he said toward Coffee.

Yes Wine always seek power.

Because he’s a coward. Wine felt loved when Coffee relied on him as a child. But when they grow up, Wine still think that way to the point of unhealthy. Because he feared of being alone and lost his only family. And because of the system in underground is like that, he needs power to stay safe. To stay alive and hope that the thing he fears the most never come true. So it lead to seeking powers.

Wine for me, he’s a coward, he fears and the only way he knows how to ease those fears is to have more power.

Kinda words these badly, cycling nonstop. But it’s really just the way it is. Cycle. The system can't be changed. It needs to be perished.

Yes…. Poor Coffee…he also has a problem… but that’s for another time. Another post… the bairnrot hitting me bad…

These information are from @/fsg-settings go check it or you can see my post and a link to my doc i collected all the information in one doc and used google translated on them. So you can just read there. Or maybe opening the web would be easier?

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

This was the hardest monthly wrap up I ever had to do because I forgot about it until like two days ago and my brain is not at its best and I'm tired so I can't really write a lot. So anyway as usual, spoilers and opinions below, read at your own risk.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇼 Blue Canvas of Youthful Days [2/12] - I really like the look of this show and all the art. I'm not yet sold on the main couple as a possible item but I really like the characters individually. I adore the second couple. The scene with the hearing aid was beautiful and I like the fact that it's not about the couple. Perhaps in a bl from a different country this would be about them finally being able to communicate, but because Liu knows sign language, it's simply about helping Tan Yin. Don't know why but I really liked this.

🇰🇷🇹🇭 Eccentric Romance [8/12] - It's not the worst thing ever but at several points during the episodes I find myself asking, what am I watching?

🇹🇭 Every You, Every Me [4/8] - This show constantly surprises me. The different stories every week and the aspec rep was how they got me at first but now I'm invested in the meta and the absolutely adorable mains. And this show is just so gorgeous to watch.

🇹🇭 Fourever You [5/16] - Beautiful Pond. Cute Earth. I'm annoyed. Hopefully the next couple is better in terms of storyline.

🇹🇭 Jack & Joker [8/12] - Can they just get together first and then give me all the drama? I'm okay with that. I actually liked Love Mechanics, so give it to me. But Jack is all over the place with his behaviour, he says Joke is family and they seem to have a shared view of the future, and they sure behave as if they're a couple, but then he hides things from Joke, supposedly 'for his own good'. I feel for Joke, because he's being jerked around by Jack.

🇹🇭 Kidnap [8/12] - I love Ohm. And that is the one and only reason I'm still here.

🇰🇷 Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo [6/8] - I'm obsessed. I think about this show way too much. It's painful and beautiful, brilliant writing and visuals and I need it to be over but I don't want it to end. I think we're gonna have a second time skip since they are not in our present yet and I just want to see them happy.

🇰🇷 Love in the Big City [4/8] - Obsessed in a total different way. This story is like an open tab in my brain at all times. I'm dreaming of edits and gifsets. I think of Young and my chest tightens. I'm having a hard time writing about the second part of the show because it's just so much, although it feels lighter than the novel. I'm dreading the next part.

🇯🇵 Love is a Poison [7/10] - I love it here. Everything about it. This being Shiba's first love sure explains a lot, and the onsen date was amazing. I think the actors are nailing this.

🇹🇭 Peaceful Property [10/12] - I've said enough about it. I'm here for TayNew and trying to just ignore everything else.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners [1/24] - And so it begins. Every gmmtv boy is here and they are all playing engineers. They got two Flukes and everything. I wish Force wasn't once again an asshole jock and Book the clueless fool but I guess that's too much to ask. This is the couple I'm least interested here so I want to see the rest.

🇹🇼 See Your Love [3/13] - Taiwan just doing giving all the rep with disabled characters and as usual a parade of bl actors. It's fine for now.

🇯🇵 Smells like Green Spirit [6/9] - I love Mishima. I think the scenes with him and Kirino are always great. I'm still not totally on board with the romance but I'm somewhat fascinated with Yumeno.

QL - Finished

🇹🇼 First Note of Love - I feel like I need to rewatch this as a binge because I think this format didn't help this particular show. Although I like the mains and I really liked the actors, their romance never truly clicked for me. I need more of the sides. The language banter was my favourite thing about this.

🇹🇭 I Saw You In My Dream - This is super cute. They are all adorable and they actually communicate. Ultimately I was a little underwhelmed about the concept.

🇹🇭 Monster Next Door - It's fine. I like Big and he was great here. But I've already forgotten everything about this.

🇭🇰 Our Golden Times - I watched it. It was okay.

🇹🇭 Reverse 4 You - Pretty show. Good concept. Not great execution all the way through.

Dropped / On Hold

Waiting to binge - 🇹🇭 The Loyal Pin | 🇹🇭 Apple | 🇻🇳 Teenager Judge

Rose Watches OJBL

Same Difference aka Docchi mo Docchi (2014) - I don't even know what to say. It's not good. That's it.

Others - Watched

🇯🇵Densetsu no Head Sho| 🇰🇷Black Out | 🇯🇵Double

Upcoming Shows - November

As usual my ask box is open. Have a wonderful weekend💜

[trsrina]

zero to hero zb1 k. gyuvin

in which you’re going on stage, in front of the whole school, to accept an award with your sworn enemy but an unfortunate accident occurs.

written in second person pov, gn reader, fluff, academic rivalry

!! not proofread, slight mention of food, vulgar language

“what?” gyuvin was trying to hold in a chuckle as his head was slightly tilted down to face you, his stare almost burning holes through your head.

“nothing,” gyuvin says as he stifles in another giggle, as if mocking you, turning his head back to avoid your confused gaze.

“come on, what is it?” you said exasperatedly. this isn’t the first time gyuvin teased you, in fact, teasing you has always been his favourite hobby.

“it’s just,” his words halted as he raised his hand up, slowly inching closer towards your face and you can’t help but slightly flinch at the sudden proximity. his hand went to the side of your face and he gently pushes away a strand of loosened hair, tidily tucking it behind your ear.

“oh, thanks,” what else did you expect him to do? a light tint of red spread across your cheeks as you fix your hair again, making sure your appearance is perfect and no strand of hair is out of place.

“you’re going on stage to accept an award for your outstanding performance in academics in front of the whole school. i can’t let you look like a mess,” gyuvin explained his previous actions as he shyly looks away from you, avoiding your eyes once again.

“aw, you care about me?” you mocked him with a fake expression of empathy. “as if! it’s humiliating for me to stand beside you when you look like that,” he snapped back at you as he walked away from you, leaving a 1 metre distance between the two of you, trying his best to hide his pout as he masks his true feelings.

gyuvin has always been your competitor. anything you can do, it’s like gyuvin could do better. in academics, sports, music, art, anything, gyuvin would always excel in the respective field and surpass you.

years of battling gyuvin for the crown and teachers pitting you against gyuvin, a slight rivalry and hatred has ignited inside of you. now, you can’t help but snicker every time someone mentions the name of your nemesis.

you’re standing backstage of your school’s auditorium, waiting to accept your award for your years of endeavours, that you had to share with your worst enemy.

as the emcees call out your names, your back automatically straightens and your facial expression is fixed. behind your back, gyuvin holds in his smile as he peers at your tense state.

the both of you walk out together as the loud applause echos through the hall, rows and rows of students sitting in their seats and staring at the pair, applauding you and somehow this seems surreal to you since you’ve always dreamed of your hard work finally being acknowledged.

however, it seemed like you weren’t having a lot of luck today as you feel your loafers slip on the slippery wooden floor, as if in slow motion, you feel yourself tripping over with your body falling back and you close your eyes, waiting for the hard impact of the wooden floor and the inevitable embarrassment you’ll feel soon after.

the applause stops and the auditorium becomes incredibly silent and soundless that you could even hear a pin drop, everyone in the room had surprise written all over their faces.

after a few seconds, the impact never came and it seemed as if you were floating on the spot. you hesitatingly open your squeezed shut eyes only to be face to face with the antagonist of your life story, kim gyuvin.

his face was dangerously close to yours and you could feel his heavy breathing fanning on your face. you weren’t sure if your eyes were messing with you or not but he looked at you with such genuine worry in his eyes, staring into your orbs and making intense eye contact with you.

gyuvin’s arms supported your body with one of his arms swung around your shoulders and the other wrapped around your waist, his body leaned forward to save you from the fall, his sparkling brown eyes staring into your wide open ones.

it was as if time stopped for a second and there was only you and gyuvin in the spacious hall. this all seemed like a scene straight out of a cliche romance drama where the male lead saves the main character from falling, or you could say where the knight in shining armour saves the damsel in distress.

the both of you snapped back to reality and you immediately free yourself of gyuvin’s arms, standing back up on your own and brushing down your uniform. you turned your head to peer down at your fellow classmates whose faces had shock written all over them.

upon this sight, you looked down embarrassedly and your ears turned red out of humiliation with a tint of flusteredness from the semi-romantic scenario just now, and your ‘hero’ seemed to have the same phenomenon appear all over his face.

your principal, who had the honour of presenting the both of you with your prestigious award, interrupted the stiff air in the auditorium by clearing his throat and handing the both of you your well-deserved certificates.

this was supposed to be the most glamorous moment of your 12 years of education but you couldn’t even raise the corners of your lips slightly nor show your bright smile when the flash of the camera blinds you and the cameraman snaps a photo of your victorious moment, mind feeling dazed and still processing a rundown of your mortifying accident.

the instant you and he-who-must-not-be-named returned backstage, you break down your serious facade and slapped his arm harshly, scolding him, “why did you do that? what is wrong with you?” your words followed with a few more physical attacks directed at gyuvin, now opting to use your feet instead to step on his shiny perfectly polished shoes and him wincing in response.

“hey! i practically saved you and this is your way of thanking me?” gyuvin rubbed the spot you hit earlier with an annoyingly cute pout on his face as he whines. “then what else was i supposed to do, you dimwit? oh my god, that was so humiliating!” you cringed as you stomp away from him and hiding your face in your hands, angrily jumping up and down like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“come on, you did okay out there. well other than you almost falling on your ass but that’s not the point. it’s fine,” gyuvin took slow steps closer towards you as he reassures you.

“you can thank me by treating me to some food after school today. what do you think about that?” upon hearing his demanding offer, you immediately turned back to face him with your eyebrows furrowed and mouth open, ready to tell him off again before he dashes away, “gotta go! class is starting!” and before you could even say anything, his frame vanishes before your eyes.

and at last, you did wait for gyuvin outside his classroom after school and treat him to some food, and maybe you just hate him a little less now, only a teeny tiny bit.

[ro-is-struggling]

Can I pretty please request 6 with sirius black and perhaps slytherin! Reader?

Hi beautiful💜 Thank you so much for participating in the celebration and I'm sorry it took me so long to post your request!

This is so long for no reason I’m sorry!! I got soooo carried away I didn’t realize I wrote a fucking novel until it was to late lol But I really enjoyed wrtiring this one even tho it took forever and it was a pain in the ass to edit lol, I had a lot of fun so I hope you like it too

Dating 101 || Sirius Black x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: You and Sirius are not the best of friends, but you end up going to him in desperate need of help to get the attention of the guy you've liked for years but don't seem to be able to talk to. He agrees to help you and for the next few weeks you spend time together, getting to know each other better as he teaches you everything he knows about the dating world. The more time you spend together, the more you realize that Sirius is not the arrogant jerk you thought he was, which leads to confused feelings and doubts about who is the one who truly owns your heart.

Warnings: slow burn, rivals to lovers, attempt at humor, reader being awkward, fluff, a little angst kinda

English is not my first language 

Word count: 16.700

This fic is part of my 600 followers celeration

You couldn't believe what you were about to do, your brain screaming at you to stop. You felt sick at the thought of turning to Sirius for help, but you truly had no other choice. You had avoided this as much as you could, but your situation couldn't go on like this, not if you wanted to get your crush to look at you at some point. You weren't a big fan of Sirius —you found that he could be annoying and arrogant at times—, but you couldn't deny that he knew all about the dating world. He was confident and was able to get the attention of anyone he wanted just by giving them a smile. You couldn't understand how he did it —how could anyone be so charming?—, but you couldn't argue with the hard evidence. Sirius was a master at the art of dating and you needed his help. 

You felt a bit silly going to him for help with something like this. You weren't necessarily friends, more like frenemies. You usually argued and competed for points for your respective houses-Sirius for Gryffindor, you for Slytherin-you were both very good students and found your fights stimulating, but you also knew how to work together when necessary. You didn't hate each other, it was just that your personalities clashed easily and you both had a predilection for annoying the other to the point of madness. 

"I need your help with something, Black." You announced when you found him at the Gryffindor table in the Great Dining Hall. He was with his friends, laughing as they plotted who knows what, but you didn't care. You needed to talk to him and you needed to do it now. "Can we talk... in private?" You added as you noticed James, Peter and Remus' curious glances at you.

Sirius looked at you with a raised eyebrow, noticing a hint of discomfort in your action. You were fidgeting, your fingers lightly tapping the edges of the book you held in your hands as you moved your feet constantly, shifting your body weight from one to the other every couple of seconds. Something was bothering you and for some reason you had gone to him of all people. Sirius didn't need to ask you any more questions to follow you into the hallway, too intrigued by what you had to say.

“What’s up, Y/LN?” He asked you when he saw the doubt in your expression, opening and closing your mouth a couple of times without making a sound. He had to admit that your behavior kept poking his curiosity to the point that he was willing to say yes to anything you asked as long as you told him something.

"I need your help," you mumbled as you searched for the right words to explain your situation. Your brain was screaming at you to shut your mouth, sure that Sirius would do nothing but make fun of you, but you had no other options left so that was a risk you would have to take.

"You said that already," he pointed out. "What do you need my help for?"

"I need you to help me get a guy's attention. I know you're really good at this stuff and I thought maybe you could help me out." You spoke quickly, the words running over each other and making the sentence almost unintelligible. It took Sirius a few seconds to understand what you had said, but when he did a cocky smile formed on his face.

“Really?” You regretted asking for his help as soon as you heard the amused tone in his voice. He was definitely enjoying this, it wasn't every day that you were so vulnerable in front of him. He would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy listening to you compliment his abilities in the love department. For the first time you were admitting that he was better than you at something without putting up a fight.

"Forget it." You turned to walk away convinced that you had made a mistake in trusting someone like Sirius with your problem. You barely made it two steps before you felt his hand close around your arm to stop you.

"Nonono wait! I wanna help." He was quick to say before you got too far away. "What's your problem?" You remained silent for a moment, watching his face to make sure he wasn't messing with you. You weren't in the mood to put up with his teasing and this topic was too sensitive for you. If he wasn't willing to genuinely give you his help then you would have to leave.

However, you found nothing in his expression that made you suspect that he had bad intentions, so you told him your situation. You told him how much you liked this Oliver guy and how incredibly stupid you became whenever he was around. You had a crush on him for the past two years and even though you were from the same house and shared almost every class, you had never been able to exchange more than two words with him. And it was always embarrassing. All he had to do was look in your direction and you completely lost your cognitive abilities, becoming a nervous mess who couldn't utter more than two words without stuttering. 

After all this time you had almost gotten used to making a fool of yourself in front of Oliver, it was a constant part of your day to day life so you had stopped worrying about it the way you used to. You held out hope that you could get better with time, gather the confidence and courage to face your feelings and have a normal conversation with him at least once. However, all your hopes were shattered after the embarrassing moment you experienced this morning.

The Potions class had dragged on a bit so by the time you were finally able to leave the classroom everyone was running late for their next classes. Everybody rushed through the halls and in the confusion of people Oliver bumped into you, causing your books to fall to the floor. Like the gentleman he was, he bent down with you to pick them up and your fingers brushed as he handed them back to you, causing the skin on your hand to tingle. He smiled at you and apologized for hitting you, but your brain, overwhelmed by the contact and proximity, wouldn't allow you to do anything but mumble incoherently. When you noticed the confusion on his face you knew it was time to run, so you grabbed your books and ran down the hallway, bumping into a couple of students on the way.

“Wow! You suck!” Sirius laughed at your misery. He had a hard time imagining you as someone so shy and awkward given that with him you were Miss I-Know-It-All. Sirius always saw you as a confident and self-assured girl, ready to take the world by storm if it got in the way of your goals.

"I know!" you admitted with a tone of frustration, hiding your face in your hands. You didn't see the point in lying to Sirius, your pride was already crushed from the moment you decided to go to him. "That's why I need your help!"

"Okay, I'll help you, but what's in it for me?" The way he was looking at you, with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile on his face, made you suspicious of his intentions. What was he getting at? " What's in it for me if I help you, something that, let me remind you, I have absolutely no need to do?"

"My eternal gratitude?"

"Oh, it has to be something better than that! You're asking for a lot here, do you have any idea of how much work it's gonna take me to fix your awkwardness?" You knew he was joking for the most part and you were aware that there was a lot of truth behind his words —you were pretty much a lost case—, but it still hurt a little to hear him say that. You weren't used to taking his words without putting up a fight, but you knew that wouldn't get you anywhere. It was time to swallow your pride and listen to Sirius no matter how ridiculous and annoying it sounded.

"Then what do you want?" You asked him, letting out a frustrated sigh, crossing your arms in front of your chest in a defiant stance. You had no time for his games and you were pretty much willing to do anything for his help. "Name your price."

Sirius took a moment to think, but there was something in his expression that suggested to you that he already knew exactly what he wanted from you. 

"Fine I'll do it, but only if you help me with my Herbology assignment." He stated after a few seconds of silence. You looked at him in surprise, doubting for a moment if you had heard correctly. For some reason you were expecting something more terrible, like him using you to make a prank against your own house or having you as a servant for a week, you know, something that felt more like a punishment than anything else.

"Really? That's it?" It was a reflex caused by surprise that you couldn't help but blurt out. You were more than happy with his terms, helping him in Herbology was something you could do with ease.

"No, now that I think about it I also want you to declare to everyone that I'm better than you in everything, but we can work on that." 

And there was the Sirius you knew. You shook your head in disapproval, but couldn't contain the giggle that escaped your lips. He was an idiot, but a funny idiot. 

"Fine! We have a deal?" You asked, holding out your hand for him to shake. He looked at you for a moment before taking your hand, closing his fingers over it in a firm grip.

"We have a deal."

Sirius refused to tell you what he had planned for his first lesson  —his words, not yours. No matter how hard you pressed him for a clue, he kept his mouth shut. He told you it was best that you didn't know more than the day and time he wanted to meet with you to discuss your situation, so you had to spend the week between the stress of homework and exams and the nerves Sirius aroused in you with all the secrecy. 

But finally, after so much suffering and uncertainty, Saturday came. You usually took advantage of the weekend to do your homework or spend time with your friends, but not this time. From the moment you woke up you spent the day counting down the hours until you could meet Sirius. You weren't even surprised that he took his role comically seriously, walking around you while talking as if he was a teacher and you were his only student. He even made exaggerated gestures, mixing several of your teachers into one personality. He only needed a board to write nonsense on and the character would be complete. You didn't mind that he found a way to joke in the middle of it all, you figured that was better than literally anything else he could come up with.

"Today's lesson is about confidence." Sirius announced firmly, looking down at you as if you were an innocent little girl and he was an experienced adult who had all the answers to your questions. And in a way he was, so you closed your mouth and listened to what he had to say. "If you want to ask this guy out then first you have to be able to be able to talk to him. And for that you have to be confident in yourself and your abilities. That's really the most important part of all. Confidence can get you far in life."

You knew very well that what he said was true, but it was much easier said than done. You were a confident girl in general, sure of your ideas and unafraid to communicate them. In any other area of life you had no problem making yourself heard, but when it came to love your brain stopped working. It was the one thing your brain couldn't master, the one thing that didn't seem to make sense and therefore was impossible to study. The world and everything you knew about it stopped making sense when Oliver got close to you. Your brain would fry when he smiled, overwhelmed by the perfection of his face, and suddenly forget how to function properly, making your strong and special personality get lost in a bunch of incoherent babbling.

“That’s easier said than done,” you complained, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but everytime Oliver looks at me I get all stupid and suddenly I forget how to speak.”

“You’re insecure because you lack experience in the matter, that’s completely normal.” You frowned at the confidence in Sirius' voice, but after contemplating his words for a few seconds you realized he was right. How he had been able to figure it out so quickly, you didn't know.

“That… actually makes sense. What do you think I should do?”

“Easy! You need to practice.” He said as if it were obvious, dropping down next to you.

“Practice?”

“Yep, right here, right now. Show me what you’ve got.”

“S-show you what I’ve got?” you repeated in a whisper, unsure how to proceed. You didn't have any lines if that's what he meant. You didn't usually walk around school thinking about which boy's attention you wanted to attract that day, so you didn't have a list of stupid, cheesy icebreaker phrases like you knew he had.

"Just pretend that I'm him. You have me sitting next to you, what's your line?" Sirius' eyes were glued to yours, looking at you expectantly. It made you nervous, so naturally, you made nothing but a fool of yourself when you opened your mouth.

"Hey there... you..." you hesitantly mumble, cringing at yourself. You wanted to slap yourself for being so pathetic. What was wrong with you? You were so much better than this, why was it impossible for you to sound like a normal person when it came to a guy? "I'm sorry, this isn't working. I'm not usually the one that initiates the conversations. Also when I look at you I just see you, so this is dumb." 

You hid your face in your hands to avoid meeting Sirius' mocking gaze. You knew he was probably getting a kick out of your suffering and stupidity, although you were thankful he didn't make it so obvious. You wanted to run out of there, hide under your sheets and never be noticed again by any other human being. There was no hope for you, you were convinced of it. You were too pathetic and you would die alone because of it.

"Fine, let's try a different approach." Sirius sounded too optimistic for someone who had seen you make a fool of yourself like that. "You see that guy over there," he said, forcing you to take your hands away from your face so you could see the boy he was pointing at. When you nodded, he continued. "I want you to get over there and flirt with him."

You let out a long laugh that died as soon as you noticed the seriousness on Sirius' face. "Wait, seriously?" He nodded with a smile and you felt your stomach start to twist with nerves. 

"Look, talking to Oliver scares you, right? The only way to get over it is to face it right here, right now. So I want you to go there and talk to that guy."

"And say what?" You panicked, your voice a couple of notes higher than normal. You didn't even know the guy Sirius wanted you to flirt with, which guaranteed not only that things would go horribly wrong but also that you would be humiliated in front of a complete stranger. Great! That was exactly what you needed at that moment. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I can barely talk to you. what am I supposed to say to this guy?”

“I don’t know, use a dumb line like…” Sirius took a few seconds to think, though you wished he had never opened his mouth again. "Hey, I could tell from across the room we might be into each other, now that I'm here I know it, your move." The exaggeratedly feminine voice he made as he recited the worst line you'd ever heard in your life did nothing to ease your urge to hit him. There was no way you were going to say that to a complete stranger. No, you refused.

"I'm sorry, have you met me? I couldn't get through three words of that."

"Fine! Walk over there and say hey there."

"Hey there?" You tried to protest, but he cut you off, pushing you to get up.

"C'mon, up, up!" you resisted his pushes, but Sirius was much stronger than you and eventually won you over. 

You took several deep breaths before you decided to take the first step towards that mysterious boy who was so calmly reading a book sitting on a bench in the hallway overlooking the courtyard. You walked as slowly as possible without looking weird, turning every two seconds to look at Sirius hoping he would take pity on you and let you go back to your place. However, he just smiled at you, giving you the thumbs up in a gesture of encouragement and making you hate him just a little bit.

You sat on the unoccupied end of the bench, making yourself as small as possible to try to go unnoticed. It didn't make much sense since you were supposed to talk to him, but first you needed a moment to calm your nerves. 

C'mon, you can do this!' the voice of bravery in your mind tried to encourage you. 'It's just a guy! The sooner you talk to him, the sooner you can get this over with.'

You tried to summon your inner Sirius and, letting out a sigh, you turned to look at the boy who was still concentrating on the book in his hands. "Hey there!" Your voice sounded smaller and more pathetic than you meant it to, but it managed to get the boy's attention.

"Hi," he said, slightly confused. A few seconds of awkward silence ensued as your brain struggled to function, thinking of the best way to continue the conversation. 

"What are you reading there?" Without saying anything, the boy closed the book in his hands to show you the cover, giving you time to read the title. It was an old book from the library on the history of the magical world. "Ah, I see. Homework or pleasure?" You didn't know why you were so interested in the book he was reading, it didn't even matter for what you were supposed to be doing, but at least it was a topic of conversation. It was either that or a deep uncomfortable silence until one of you got tired and left.

"I'm doing some research for an essay," he explained as if it were obvious. What teenager would spend a weekend reading a history book for pleasure?

“Oh, about what? Cause I’m really good at History and I-”

“I’m sorry but I’m kinda busy,” he interrupted you before you could continue with your ramblings that were going nowhere. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Oh no, sorry!" you were quick to apologize, feeling the blood from all over your body pooling in your cheeks. Embarrassed, you turned your gaze away from the boy looking for anything else to focus on so you wouldn't have to face your humiliation. Your eyes met Sirius, who gave you a smile. On his lips you read words of encouragement, so you took another deep breath and returned your attention to the boy sitting next to you. "Actually... I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out with me sometime?"

An awkward silence formed and lasted a few seconds. The boy's eyes locked on you, but you couldn't hold his gaze as you waited for an answer. Your eyes searched Sirius once again for comfort and that's when you heard the laughter.

"That was good! Did Sirius put you up to this?" the boy laughed, humiliating you a little more with each chuckle. Of course he thought it was a joke!

"You got me!" you blurted out with a fake laugh, throwing your hands up in the air in defeat. "He dared me to come over and talk to you. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

The boy said something else, but you didn't hear him since you were already running back to Sirius. You felt humiliated and dejected. Not only had you made a fool of yourself, but it had all been for nothing. That experience hadn't taught you anything you didn't already know —that you were awkward and weird and that you would die alone because of your lack of flirting skills.

"See, that wasn't so bad!" Sirius encouraged you as you sat back down next to him. "You got him to laugh!"

"That was humiliating and I hate you."

"Well too bad because now I want you to talk to fifteen guys."

"What? No, forget it!" Sirius was crazy if he thought you were willing to do that again. You'd been humiliated enough for one day, you wanted to go to sleep now.

"Oh my sweet, innocent little bug." Sirius said in an almost condescending tone, putting his arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to him. You scrunched up your nose at the strange nickname he had chosen for you, trying to decide if you hated it or thought it was funny. "Confidence takes work. You can't just talk to one guy and expect everything to magically change. You need to work for it, take a few hits, learn that a negative response it's not the end of the world and it doesn't define who you are or your value as a person."

"It's easy for you to say! All you have to do is smile and every girl in school throw themselves at you."

"That's because I already put in the work, silly." He bumped your nose with his finger and you rolled your eyes, pushing him to break free from his embrace. Suddenly you weren't in the mood for his bullshit. "So now I want you to do the same. Go get them!"

Letting out a grunt, you got up and set off down the corridors of Hogwarts in search of boys who were isolated enough to give you some privacy while you made a fool of yourself —the last thing you wanted was to be the laughing stock of the whole school. And as you walked along you couldn't help but think that maybe asking Sirius for help hadn't been as great an idea as you had initially thought.

“How exactly do you kill two mandrakes in a row?” Was your answer when Sirius told you the reason why he needed your help in Herbology. As part of the practical exam for the OWLs, Sirius had to tend a mandrake plant until it was fully ripe and then present it to the professor. It was not an easy task —mandrakes, like humans, were complicated beings—, but not impossible either. Sirius was a very skilled wizard and you believed that someone like him would have no problem with such a task. But apparently you were wrong, because according to what he had told you it was the second time the plant withered and died before it developed squeaky roots similar to a very ugly human baby.

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking for your help." He shrugged, opening the greenhouse door and stepping aside to let you pass. You found his response suspicious, it was hard to believe that someone like Sirius couldn't take care of a simple mandrake, but you didn't say anything about it. Instead, you let him lead you over to where his pot rested. "What am I doing wrong?"

“Well, have you been watering it enough?” was your first question when you noticed that the soil in the pot looked a little dry. You motioned for him to hand you the watering can and you took it upon yourself to hydrate the poor plant. "You need to check on it regularly. Mandrakes are very similar to us, they need love and attention to grow strong and healthy."

"I'm not going to treat this thing like it's my baby or something." Sirius complained, leaning back on the table as he watched you analyzing the state of the plant. He had to admit that the light reflected off the greenhouse in a unique way, giving you a different aura. You were glowing in a special way that Saturday morning and he couldn't help but wonder what was causing it.

"You'll have to do it if you want to pass the exam." Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, bringing him back to reality. "But don't worry, I'll help you. We'll co-parent this thing." You both shared a laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, but Sirius would be lying if he said that the idea of spending more time with you disgusted him. He didn't quite know what was happening to him, but lately he didn't find you as annoying and insufferable as usual. Maybe it was because you weren't looking to argue with him every five minutes, or the fact that he had gotten to know a different side of you, but he found himself enjoying the time you spent together. It was fun to joke with you without starting a war.

You spent the next hour talking about mandrakes and you gave Sirius a couple of tips on how to keep it alive. You ended up setting up a schedule for him, marking the times when he had to visit to water it and when to move it to get the exact amount of sunlight it needed to grow strong. If he followed your advice, the mandrake would reach its squeaky baby stage in a couple of weeks. You promised to help him dig it up and repot it as it grew, but assured him that the daily care would fall to him so you could make sure he was learning something —after all, you didn't want to help him pass his OWL Herbology exam by cheating.

You parted ways when lunchtime arrived, each of you going to the table of your respective houses to eat with your friends. However, Sirius approached you again a couple of hours later while you were waiting with the other students to go on the Hogsmeade trip.

"Ready for your next lesson?" he said as he put his arm around your shoulders. It took you by surprise since in all the time you had shared in the morning he hadn't mentioned anything about having your next lesson.

"Already?" you asked, remembering that it had only been a week since your disastrous first lesson. Well, it hadn't been so bad after all. Sure, you had spent the afternoon humiliating yourself, talking nonsense to the first guy who crossed your path, but in the end you had managed to get a positive response from one. The small victory had made you feel good, but you still needed some more time to recover. 

"Well, you were really helpful this morning so I wanted to do something in return."

"Is it going to take long? Cause I wanted to go out with the girls."

"Just give me an hour, then you're free to go." You looked at him with hesitation in your eyes, the ghost of their last encounter haunting you. If his next lesson was going to be as terrible as the first you weren't sure you were ready, you needed time to prepare your mind for the humiliation. "C'mon, you're going to like this one." Sirius insisted with a smile and you ended up giving in to his charms. 

This time you kept your questions to yourself about what you'd do to yourself, knowing that Sirius wasn't going to give you a clue. You walked around Hogsmeade by his side, making casual small talk and laughing at his jokes as if you were lifelong best friends. However when you arrived at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop you couldn't help but ask him what were you doing there.

"The second lesson is going to be about the date itself and how to create the proper atmosphere." Sirius explained as he led you to one of the overly decorated tables. "If you want the date to end with you guys making out, you have to think ahead." You wrinkled your nose at his choice of words, but didn't mention anything about it.

"What do you in your infinite wisdom advise me to do?" you joked as you settled back in your seat. You stayed silent for a moment as you were served your tea, before returning to your conversation.

"Close proximity is very important if you want to create an intimate moment." Sirius declared as he took a sip of his tea. "No one is making out if they're three feet apart, so no matter where you have the date, you have to make sure you're close to each other." You listened to him speak attentively, trying hard to retain the information he was giving you as if you were studying for an exam.

“Being close, got it.” You repeated nodding your head, making a mental list of his advice that you hoped you wouldn't forget by the time you returned to school.

"If you come here for your date, you have to make sure you don't sit across from each other. Instead, move your chair a little closer to his, like this." Sirius slid his chair until it was almost next to yours so you were nestled against one side of the round table full of corny decorations. You could feel the warmth his body radiated caressing your skin. It made you nervous, though you didn't quite know why. You supposed it was because you weren't used to being so close to a guy —especially him— in a place that looked so romantic.

"See, this is better for flirting, accidental touching and making out." His voice had turned into a soft whisper, leaning toward you so he could speak in your ear. His breath collided against your neck with each word that left his lips, giving you goosebumps. The blood rushed to your cheeks from embarrassment, making your face feel on fire. 

When you dared to look up, your eyes met Sirius's deep gray eyes admiring your face. It was the first time you were so close to him, you could clearly note every detail of his face, every glint in his cold gray orbs. Suddenly you understood all the girls at Hogwarts who sighed lovingly every time they saw him passing through the school halls. He had a singular beauty that came completely naturally to him, effortlessly. It was hard to look away from his perfect features and captivating eyes, even though you felt small and self-conscious under his intense gaze.

Sirius' eyes trailed down your face, lingering over your lips for a fraction of a second. It was almost imperceptible, but you noticed it, just as you noticed the arrogant little smile that formed at the corner of his lips. The air caught in your throat as you felt the room grow smaller, trapping you with him, forcing you to be close to him. And when his fingers brushed the exposed skin of your knee you couldn't help but let out a shriek of surprise, jumping in your seat to get away from him.

Sirius laughed as you struggled to compose yourself, breathing deeply to calm the wild pounding of your heart, repeating in your mind that the tingling you felt in your knee was just the product of your imagination and meant nothing. "It's not funny, you jerk!" you complained, tapping him on the shoulder to shut him up.

"You say that 'cause you didn't see your face." He laughed and you rolled your eyes. He was an idiot.

"If you don't stop laughing I'll leave and I won't help you with your little Herbology project." You threatened him and that seemed to get his attention.

“Okay, okay!” Sirius exclaimed, raising his hands in the air in surrender. He moved away from you again and that allowed you to breathe easier as you regained your personal space. "So, moving on... How do you set the tone at the date? Lighting matters, okay? The darker it is, the better. It creates a more intimate atmosphere."

"Close proximity, lighting, okay." You repeated, adding more details to your mental list. "What else?"

"Body language! Is he leaning in? Is he sitting close?" Sirius moved closer to you again, exemplifying his words with his actions. Your heart rate spiked once again as you felt the warmth of his body envelop you once more. His hand brushed yours on the table, forcing your gaze back to them. You felt the strange urge to entwine your fingers with his, wondering what it would feel like to hold his hand, but you held back, trying to focus on his words to distract yourself.

"And then it's all about interaction." He continued, as if he didn't know the effect his closeness had on you. "Is he trying to impress you? Does he say complimentary things to you? If yes, chances are he's going to make his move."

"Wow, I had no idea guys like you even thought about this kind of stuff." you said in a sarcastic tone, hoping it would help ease the tension you felt in the air. 

"Well, that's because you're mean and you always think the worst of people." he joked and you laughed. He was kind of right. "But it's okay, I forgive you." Sirius put his arm around your shoulders again, pulling you against his body as you laughed and shook your head.

The tension in the air was beginning to dissipate, allowing you to have a good time together without feeling awkward and weird. You shared a couple more laughs before your date was interrupted by the voice of your best friend, who had seen you and Sirius from the store window as she walked through Hogsmeade and couldn't believe her eyes. As far as she knew you hated each other, so why were you hugging while drinking tea at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, a place frequented by couples?

You jumped on your feet at the mention of your name, struggling to think of an excuse that would justify you and Sirius being there. Despite the fact that she was your best friend, you hadn't told her about your little plan to get Oliver's attention. Not only was it humiliating to need help in order to get a date, but it was even more humiliating to have to go to the guy you argued with the most in all of Hogwarts for advice. It wasn't a decision you were proud of and you thought it was better if no one knew about it.

In the end it was Sirius who saved you, telling your friend that you were there with him to honor your part of a bet you had lost. It wasn't the first time you two had bet when arguing about something and most of the time it was the humiliation of the other that was at stake, so your friend bought the lie without asking many questions.

Before leaving Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop to follow your friend, you made sure to thank Sirius for saving you. He smiled at you, downplaying it, though you could swear there was a glint of sadness in his eyes as he looked back at you. You wanted to ask him if everything was alright, finding the sudden change in his mood strange, but before you could open your mouth you were interrupted by your friend's voice hurrying you to leave. 

In the end you could only give Sirius an apologetic smile before following your friend and disappearing out the door. But for the rest of the day you continued to think about the events of that afternoon, wondering why you felt so strange when Sirius was around and why you almost wished you could have stayed with him in the tea store for a while longer.

By the time the third lesson came around you were already having doubts about everything. Did it make any sense? Was anything Sirius was telling you really going to do you any good? Did you even want to go out with Oliver?

Wait, what?

Of course you wanted to go out with him! He had been your crush for years and you had done nothing but fantasize about talking to him, admiring him from a distance hoping that he would reciprocate your feelings. He was the only guy you had ever cared about all this time, so of course you wanted to go out with him. You didn't understand where that stupid question had come from.

And then, as if the universe was giving you an answer, you felt the weight of Sirius' arm on your shoulders. As you looked up you met his charming smile, the one that once seemed arrogant and made you roll your eyes in annoyance, but now awakened a strange but comforting warmth inside you. Could it be that he was the reason behind your confusion?

"Ready for your next lesson, dove?" He spoke with his characteristic cheerful and nonchalant tone of voice. He was so casual that you almost missed the new nickname he had decided to use with you on that beautiful Friday afternoon.

"I'm 'dove' now?" you asked, looking at him with a confused frown. It was a little strange, but you'd be lying if you said the nickname didn't awaken something in you, something you couldn't describe or put into words, but it made you feel good.

"Yes, because you're sweet and innocent like a dove." Sirius explained as if it were obvious, shrugging it off. It was clear that it wasn't a big deal to him, just a nickname he found amusing, but you on the other hand were a completely different story. You grew nervous all of a sudden and felt the heat of embarrassment on your cheeks. Never before had a boy used affectionate nicknames like that with you so you didn't really know how to react. So you didn't say anything, you just looked away and cleared your throat, pretending your heart wasn't beating at a dangerously fast pace.

"Don't you think it's a little late for a lesson?" you spoke after a few seconds of silence, watching the sun begin to set on the horizon. 

"I tend to work better at night." He winked at you and you nudged him in the ribs, though you couldn't contain a slight chuckle that escaped your lips.

"Fine, what are you going to teach me today?"

For the next few minutes you and Sirius talked about the importance of your date outfit, not so much to impress Oliver, but to make you feel comfortable and confident and thus increase your chances of success on the date. He talked about how everybody has that one piece of clothing that is special and makes them feel like the best version of themselves. For him it was his leather jacket, it was the first piece of clothing he had chosen and bought for himself to piss off his parents who only wanted to see him wear old-fashioned and uncomfortable tunics. It represented his rebellious spirit, his freedom, and so he wore it all the time. It was a reminder of who he was, of everything he had to fight against in order to express his true self, and that's why it made him feel comfortable and confident every time he wore it.

You didn't have anything remotely like that. You felt quite comfortable and liberated when you were alone in your room curled up in your bed wearing your pajamas while reading a book, but you doubted you could wear something like that on a date. You had never been very interested in fashion and accessories, you found that world too overwhelming. You didn't even think you had a favorite style, just a pile of clothes in your closet that you wore hoping they would match. 

"We have to change that!" was the answer Sirius gave you when you explained your situation. "Meet me in the third floor corridor after dinner, the one with the statue of the one-eyed witch."

"What?" you asked him with confusion. You hated his cryptic answers, why was it so hard for him to be direct and tell you what was on his mind? "What for?"

“Just trust me on this.” 

You had to admit that Sirius wasn't inspiring much trust in you at the moment. Why on earth did he want to meet you so late and why couldn't you do whatever it was he had in mind right now? Why was it so important that it was at night? And what was the deal with the third floor hallway? What was he up to?

None of your questions got an answer because before you could ask them he got up and left, leaving you alone and confused. 

You spent the next few hours debating whether it was wise to listen to Sirius or not. Wandering around the castle after dinner was forbidden and while you had broken that rule a couple of times, you never felt right when you did. It gave you too much anxiety and you didn't enjoy sneaking through the corridors looking over your shoulder every second. You weren't exactly a fan of that kind of adrenaline. 

That said, you couldn't deny that the idea of wandering around Hogwarts at night with Sirius sounded tempting. He was the king of breaking the rules, so you were sure he had his fair share of tricks to avoid getting caught. Usually you hated the impunity with which he carried himself, walking the halls of the school as if he owned it, unbothered about the consequences of his actions. But now that you knew him a little better you couldn't help but feel a little excited at the idea of being his partner in crime. 

Maybe there was some sense in his madness. Maybe he really was funny and you had spent all this time hating him for it because he annoyed you as a person. Since you had started this experiment with him you had done nothing but learn to see the world through his eyes. Every minute you spent together helped you to understand a little better his thoughts and the reasons why he did what he did. You had learned to like him, so why not give him a chance now? Maybe you would finally understand the reason behind his rebelliousness.

So, when you finished dinner you found a way to sneak up to the third floor undetected. You got there first, which gave your brain time to rethink the decision it had made as you paced back and forth nervously. However, when Sirius appeared a couple of minutes later apologizing for the delay all your doubts and fears disappeared.

"I had to make a quick stop to get some things." He explained, pointing to the crumpled piece of fabric he had hanging from one arm and the scrap of parchment he was holding in his hand.

"Are you finally going to tell me what the hell are we doing here?" You asked, crossing your arms. "If this is a prank I swear to Merlin-"

“I would never, dove.” Sirius interrupted you, awakening that strange warmth inside you once again by using the affectionate nickname. "I'm a man of my word and I intend to honor our agreement. But first I need to ask you something."

You furrowed your brow in confusion, but nodded your head without a second thought. "Sure, what is it?"

"You have to promise me that all this is going to stay between us. You can't tell anyone about what we're about to do." The secrecy seemed strange to you but it also peaked your curiosity. Why was it so important to him that no one knew what you were going to do? What did he have planned? 

There was only one way to find out.

"I promise," you assured him, waiting for him to explain what was going on.

"Great!" Sirius smiled and then pulled out his wand. He approached the statue of the one-eyed witch and touched it with the tip of his wand, uttering the word 'Dissendium'. Then an entrance to a dark tunnel opened up, a secret passageway inside the castle that you had no idea where it led to. If you weren't confused before, you definitely were now. What on earth was Sirius up to and why did it involve a secret tunnel?

"H-How did you do that?" You asked, dumbfounded. You needed to know how Sirius knew not only that there was a secret passage in the castle, but also how to open it. "How did you know?"

"I didn't spend all these years wandering around the castle for nothing." Was the answer he gave you, winking at you before entering the secret passage. "C'mon, let's go!"

Cautiously, you followed Sirius into the tunnel, pulling out your wand to light the way as the statue returned to its original position and the light at the entrance disappeared. You kept close to him as you walked, scanning your surroundings as you tried to guess where the passageway would lead you. It seemed to have no end. No matter how far you walked, you seemed no closer to getting to the other side. The lack of lighting didn't help much, it just added a creepy vibe that gave you goosebumps. Was Sirius planning to kill you?

"Where are you taking me?" you asked him after a few minutes of silence. You felt like you had been walking forever and still hadn't reached your destination.

"You'll see."

"Are you going to kill me and leave my body abandoned here?" you joked and he let out a laugh.

"Why would I want to kill you?"

You shrugged. "To avoid confronting the fact that I'm better than you at everything."

"At everything?" He repeated, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Are you sure about that? Because last time I checked I'm not the one desperate for dating advice."

“Shut up!” You said, hitting him on the shoulder.

“Besides, you still have to admit to everyone that I’m better than you, remember?” He reminded you of his words the day you came to him for help. At the time you didn't think he was serious, but now you weren't so sure.

"You wish." You muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes. Being friends was one thing, but indulging him by admitting that he was better than you was something you weren't willing to do.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

“That's what I thought.”

You continued walking as you laughed and joked with each other, chatting to distract yourselves from the long time you seemed to need to get to the end of that damned tunnel. As it turned out, the secret passageway connected Hogwarts to the cellar of Honeydukes. Sirius led you through the now deserted store carefully, but not before wrapping you both in the crumpled piece of cloth he had slung over his arm. He put it over your shoulders first and when you questioned him about it he pointed towards your body which had now disappeared. 

Suddenly the success of his pranks and the gift he seemed to have for wandering around the castle without being caught made sense. He had an invisibility cloak! He was a fraud! Anyone could accomplish the extraordinary things he did if they had such a wonderful and convenient object as an invisibility cloak.

You were about to let out a sarcastic comment about it, but the air caught in your throat when you felt Sirius wrap his arms around your body, pulling you close to him. His warmth enveloped you as he stretched the cloth to cover your body as well, making sure you were both protected by the magical fabric to make sure you weren't discovered. 

Walking through the streets of Hogsmeade under the limited space provided by the cloak was uncomfortable, especially when you felt Sirius' warm breath against your ear. You had to constantly remind yourself to breathe, but not too fast because then he would notice the effect his closeness had on you. You hoped he didn't already know, although the way he wrapped his arm around your waist made you think otherwise. Damn, he was good! Just a brush of his fingers on your skin and you were already sighing like half the girls at school.

"What are we doing here?" You asked as you noticed that you had stopped at a clothing store.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sirius spoke without looking at you, pulling out his wand and muttering a simple incantation to unlock the door. "We're going to find your perfect outfit."

"Couldn't we have done that when the store was open, you know, in the daylight?" you pointed out, hurrying into the store before anyone on the street could see you. You were pretty sure what you were doing was illegal. Not only had you two snuck out of the school using a secret passageway, but you had also broken into a store and were about to rummage through the inventory of clothing without permission from its owners. 

You should be terrified, for all you knew you could be expelled from Hogwarts if you were discovered —not to mention the lecture your parents would give you at home. However, there was something about Sirius that filled you with a sense of security. For some reason in your mind nothing bad could happen to you if he was by your side.

"Yeah but we would have to wait for the next trip to Hogsmeade." He responded, justifying his actions with the excuse that the normal —and legal— way would take too long. "Besides, it's more fun this way." Sirius smiled at you and you shook your head, but you couldn't help but think he was kind of right.

"So we're going to rob these people?"

"No! We can pay for what we take, don't worry." He assured you, though it sounded too casual for your liking. You were breaking into a store and he was acting like he was going through the clothes in his closet. It made you wonder how many times he had done something similar in the past.

"Now get over here and start choosing clothes!"

Once you stopped thinking about the weirdness of the situation you started to have a little fun. Sirius helped you sort through the clothes, passing you items he wanted you to try on. Some were serious and some were just to joke around with you. You had to admit that even though you normally hated shopping, the activity became infinitely more fun if Sirius was with you. 

You lost count of the time you spent inside that store, making a mess of the clothes that had been neatly folded and arranged on hangers and shelves prior to your arrival. You tried on every style and aesthetic the store had to offer, modeling each outfit for the watchful eye of Sirius, who always found something nice to say about everything you wore.

"You suck at this!" you complained with a chuckle after he complimented the color palette of a ridiculously extravagant outfit you had put on for the sole purpose of making him laugh. "You're not helping me decide at all! Give me your real opinions."

"I am! I swear!" Sirius defended himself, raising his hands in the air. "It's just that everything looks good on you, dove."

You let out an incredulous laugh, rolling your eyes to hide the true effect his words had on you. You knew he didn't mean it, but you couldn't control the rapid beating of your heart every time he blurted out a line like that.

"I'm sure you tell that to all the girls in school."

"Never! You're the only one, dove."

Shaking your head, you disappeared into the dressing room once more. You didn't want to give him the chance to continue his meaningless flirting. You didn't quite understand why he was doing it. You knew he didn't love you —not in that way at least—, so why was it so easy for him to throw those kinds of comments around like it was nothing? Was he trying to boost your confidence? Or maybe it was because he was so used to jokingly flirting with everyone that he couldn't help but do it with you too. You honestly didn't know, it was hard to read him on that aspect.

Part of you wished he would stop because even though you knew he was just joking, you found it impossible not to feel things when he would tell you how pretty you were or call you affectionate nicknames. He was getting your hopes up for nothing, making you believe that someone like him could like someone like you. It was tiring to have to constantly remind your heart not to believe anything that came out of Sirius' mouth.

You tried to keep your doubts from ruining the nice moment you were sharing, shaking the thoughts out of your head and working on putting on your next outfit. Only, when you emerged from the dressing room to show Sirius, you found that he too was wearing an outfit he had taken from the pile of messy clothes. But it wasn't just any outfit, it was one that you had discarded after wearing it for a few minutes and ruling that it looked odd on you. And the worst part was that Sirius seemed to look better in it than you.

"What are you wearing?" you asked him, chuckling as he modeled for you.

"Am I a pretty girl?" Sirius said, looking at you through his eyelashes. He did a couple of exaggerated poses while pretending to be a high fashion model, eliciting from you one of the loudest and most genuine laughs you've ever had. But you had to admit that he did look good considering the clothes weren't the right size or cut for him.

"Yes, very pretty." You complimented him as you caught your breath, rummaging through the pile of clothes for another outfit for him. "Here, try this one."

Everything spiraled out of control then. You momentarily forgot that you were trespassing in a store late at night as you played dress up with Sirius like two little kids. It had been a long time since you had felt so free and relaxed and a part of you couldn't believe that Sirius was the one who had awakened that chill side of you. Usually he would do the opposite —annoy you and stress you out to the point of insanity—, but since you had started this little experiment together he kept surprising you. 

Now that you knew each other a little better, he made you laugh and for some reason he inspired reassurance and trust. All your fears that he would make fun of you or take advantage of the situation to humiliate you were behind you. He wasn't that kind of guy, no matter how immature and silly he usually seemed. Honestly, you loved this new relationship you had, where you still maintained a certain level of healthy rivalry combined with lots of laughter and inside jokes. Even if things with Oliver didn't turn out the way you wanted them to, you were still happy because at least he had left you with a new friendship.

What you weren't happy about, however, was fixing up the store after the mess you had made. Even with magic it took quite a while to put everything back in its place, but somehow Sirius found a way to make that tedious activity fun too.

But your jokes were interrupted when you came across something that caught your eye. As you were rearranging the clothes on one of the shelves you found a dress. It was black and had long sleeves made of the most beautiful lace you had ever seen, with detailed patterns that added a special delicacy to the piece. It was truly beautiful and you didn't know how you hadn't seen it before.

"You should try it on." Sirius' voice alerted you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"No, it's okay. We should just go, it's getting late." You put the dress back in its place, stepping away from that rack to rearrange the last remaining pile of disarranged clothes. That dress was beautiful, almost too beautiful for someone like you. You didn't think you could pull it off, so you preferred not to go near it. You didn't want to destroy your self-esteem if it turned out that the dress looked bad on you.

By the time you got back to school it was so late that everyone in the castle was asleep. It wasn't difficult for you to navigate the halls of Hogwarts undetected since Sirius had one of the best inventions in the history of magic: a map that told him the exact location of all the students and teachers within the school grounds. He didn't want to give you many details about it other than that it was a project he had done with the help of his friends and you didn't press him for more. Now you understood why he had made you promise not to tell anyone about tonight. Apparently he had more than one magical artifact that was best kept secret.

"Thank you for this," you said when you reached the entrance to your common room. Sirius had insisted on accompanying you to make sure you arrived safely before heading to the Gryffindor tower. "I had a great time."

"Me too," he admitted with a smile. He had really enjoyed spending time with you. He found that he really liked the relaxed and fun version of you that he had met tonight and wanted to see more of you. "I hope that after this you will realize how beautiful you look when you are more relaxed. Laughter suits you, you should do it more often."

You remained silent for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. That familiar feeling of warmth ran through you at his words, your whole body buzzing with joy. A smile formed on your face, a genuine sign of how much you appreciated his kindness.

"Goodnight, Sirius." You gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning and disappearing behind the doors of the Slytherin common room.

Sirius stood in place for a few seconds, staring at the spot where you had just been seconds before as he felt a tingling on the skin of his cheek where you had kissed him. Your scent still lingered in the air entering his system through his nostrils and clouding his thoughts with images of your smile.

"Goodnight, dove." he murmured to the air, bringing his hand to his cheek.

He knew then that he was screwed.

You noticed something was wrong with Sirius the moment you saw him walk through the greenhouse doors. You were meeting to change the mandrake pot as you had promised him you would. It was a relatively simple process if you took the proper precautions and a job best done in silence —you wouldn't be able to hear each other anyway because of the earmuffs protecting you—, but even for that he was too quiet. He lacked his characteristic sparkle, that mischievous twinkle you always noticed in his eyes. His smile had been replaced by a frown and he was distracted. He seemed to be worried or upset about something that he couldn't stop thinking about. 

You tried to ignore him, unsure of what to do. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, but you didn't want to pressure him to talk if he wasn't ready or just didn't want to. Maybe he was trying to forget whatever was bothering him and your questions would only remind him of it. But eventually curiosity got the better of you and you decided it didn't hurt to ask.

"Okay, what's going on with you?" you finally spoke up, putting aside your gloves and the earmuffs you had worn to protect yourself from the mandrake's screams once the job was done. "You seem... off today."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I... I just have a lot in my mind." Sirius said, letting out a frustrated sigh. He leaned back against the counter, shoulders slumped in a pose that showcased his mood perfectly. He was staring at the floor, as if lost in thought, and you were suddenly curious as to what was so important to have him in such a state. You'd never seen Sirius so quiet or so serious before in the years you'd known each other.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you offered, giving him the option to use you as a shoulder to cry on, a friendly ear to vent to.

"It's my family, as always." He let out a bitter laugh, lifting his head so he could look you in the eye as he spoke. You could see the pain reflected in his expression and felt the urge to hug him. You knew about his family and how troubled they were. He had never fit in with them and had ended up being kicked out of his home by his own mother. It was a sad story and you had always felt sorry for him.

“I had a fight with my brother last night and I can’t seem to let it go… They're filling his head with those horrible ideas and there's nothing I can do about it. He doesn’t want to listen to me.” 

You knew exactly what he was referring to, you had seen the people Regulus was hanging out with and sadly you shared the same concerns as his brother. Many of your peers in Slytherin were being caught up in dangerous hate speech and you completely understood Sirius' frustration about it. It hadn't yet touched you as closely as it did him - none of your friends shared those kinds of ideas - but you could imagine how painful it was for him to see his brother involved in something so horrible.

"Oh Sirius, I'm sorry." You didn't quite know what to say, there were no words that could ease his sadness or concern. You could only support him at that moment, hoping that your understanding would be enough to make him feel a little better. 

Without even realizing it, your hand slid across the table to rest on Sirius'. It was a desperate attempt on your part to show him that you were there for him, something you did without thinking. Sirius's eyes lingered on your joined hands for a few seconds, staring at them as if he found it hard to believe what he was seeing. It made you feel a little self-conscious and you considered moving your hand, but before you could do so he moved his so that he could intertwine his fingers with yours. This time it was you who looked down at your hands as you felt him give you a light squeeze. It was such an innocent act, something so common, but it still awakened that special tingling inside you. It was the first time you were holding hands and it felt... good, comforting. 

When you looked up you were met with his sweet smile. Sirius didn't need to utter words for you to understand that he was thanking you for your support, it was written all over his face. You had to fight the urge to hug him, thinking it might be too close and personal. You had a strange relationship - you weren't enemies but you weren't technically friends either - so it was hard sometimes to realize when something was too much. 

Then an idea formed in your mind. Images of your special place flashed before your eyes like a movie and you decided it was an appropriate time to show Sirius that he wasn't the only one who had extensive knowledge of the Hogwarts grounds.

"C'mon, I want to show you something." You told him, pulling his hand entwined with yours to guide him out of the greenhouse.

You didn't have to go far to get to your special secret spot, just walk down the hill until you reached the edge of the lake. There was a large tree that provided plenty of shade and between its huge roots was a comfortable hole that you liked to sit in. It was the most beautiful and peaceful place you knew in the whole school. You liked to go there when you felt overwhelmed or stressed, sitting under the shade of the tree and just think for a long time, the world always seemed better after that. You were convinced that there wasn't a single problem that couldn't be solved with a meditation session in your special place.

"Welcome to my special place!" you announced with a smile when you arrived at your destination. "Come, sit here with me." You settled into your usual spot at the foot of the big tree and patted the free space next to you inviting Sirius to join you. He stared at you for a moment, but finally sat down next to you. 

"How did you find this place?" Sirius was amazed at the beauty of the scenery around him. He obviously knew this place existed, but he had never paid attention to how beautiful and peaceful it was. There were no other students laughing and running around, just him, you and nature. 

"You're not the only one with extensive knowledge about the castle, Black." 

"So, what happens here?" He forced himself to look away from the landscape to return his gaze to you only to find that you were staring off into the horizon. The sunlight reflecting off the water of the lake illuminated the whole place in a different, more magical way, especially your profile. It gave you an ethereal aura that took his breath away for a moment. 

"We sit here and we think." You replied without taking your eyes off the birds flying through the trees on the other side of the lake. "I always come here when I'm sad or stressed out. There's something about this place that makes all my problems go away."

You sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the scenery, letting the tranquility of nature bring you inner peace. Sirius tried to push the negative thoughts from his mind, concentrating on the birds singing and the sound of the water, hoping that would be enough to make the frustration and anger that was overtaking him disappear. It wasn't working out so well, but he didn't have the heart to tell you that your special magical place wasn't as powerful as you thought it was.

Well, that was until he turned his head so he could look at you. You were completely lost in thought, gazing forward with no idea of the way Sirius was looking at you. You seemed so happy, so relaxed, that he couldn't help but feel a warm feeling spreading inside him. He found comfort in you, in the special sparkle in your eyes, in the way you cared for him despite your shared history. For Sirius, the healing magic was not in where you were, but in you.

"Things are going to get better." You broke the silence, turning to look at him. His eyes were glued to yours and you discovered that the dark patch of sadness that covered his signature cheerful glow had dimmed a bit.

"How do you know?" Sirius' voice was low, almost a whisper that you were able to hear above the noises of nature thanks to the short distance separating you. 

"I have to believe that they will. We all have to." Sirius wasn't so sure about it, he didn't have your blind optimism, but for a moment as he lost himself in the depths of your eyes he found hope. Everything seemed simple as long as you kept your eyes on him. He could face anything if you were by his side to guide his path, to hold his hand and remind him that everything would be alright. He found peace in you, something that both calmed and scared him. He was much more screwed up than he originally thought.

The more time you spent staring into each other's eyes in silence, the more the tension in the air increased. Sirius was suddenly aware of how close he was to you. He could feel the warmth of your body against his side, the touch of your leg against his and the smell of your perfume that assaulted his nose every time he took a breath. He only had to extend his hand a few inches to touch you, or lean in just a little to brush his lips against yours. Those beautiful lips of yours that tempted him since the first time he had laid his eyes on you. The same ones he had fantasized about kissing many times in the past, even when all that came out of them were insults and ironic laughter dedicated to him.

Sirius leaned towards you without even realizing what he was doing, lost in thought, mesmerized by the sight of your lips. He felt your breath against his face, mingling with his, and the touch of your nose against his. And then your lips met in a kiss that took you both by surprise. He captured your upper lip between his, reaching out his hand to grab the back of your head and pull you closer to him. You surrendered to the expert movement of his lips without putting up a fight, letting him guide you as you melted into the kiss.

Multicolored fireworks exploded behind your eyes, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy as you struggled to keep up with Sirius. It wasn't your first kiss, but it was the first time you felt wave after wave of electricity coursing through your body from one. You felt like you were flying, completely lost in the intensity of the moment. It was a special kind of high you never wanted to come down from. Sirius' lips just felt right on yours, caressing you with such passion and delicacy at the same time. It left you breathless and desperate for more. So much more. 

But the kiss was cut short as quickly as it began when Sirius suddenly pulled away from you, leaving you confused and a little stupid.

"I-I'm... I'm sorry, I-" he struggled to come up with an excuse as he realized what he had done, feeling awkward and somewhat embarrassed that he had let himself get carried away by his impulses.

"Nono, it's okay, I..." you tried to intervene as well, fighting the fog that clouded your mind to try to form a coherent sentence.

"You know what? That was practice!" Sirius blurted out without thinking, making you frown.

"Practice for what?"

"J-just f-for the next step of the plan... in case you hadn't made out with anyone in a while." Sirius didn't sound confident in what he was saying and if you were in different circumstances you might have realized that was a lame excuse he'd made up on the spot. But your mind was still a bit affected by the kiss and you couldn't think straight, so you didn't notice.

"Is that what it felt like? That I hadn't made out with anyone in a while or whatever?" You tried to sound casual so as not to let him know how much you cared about his answer. To you that had been the best kiss of your life and it hurt a little to think that it had meant nothing to him. It made sense though, Sirius had a lot of practice and a lot of girls to compare you to. He'd probably had millions of better kisses.

"Well, I'm more of a tongue guy myself." Sirius joked, trying to ease the tension in the air.

"You don't say. I think I felt it poking at my throat." You played along and you both burst out laughing. The sweet melody of Sirius' laughter traveled through the air to your ears, entering your system and filling your insides with joy. All you wanted was to hear him laugh, to make him happy so that he would forget his problems at least for a moment. Everything stopped mattering to you as you watched the characteristic happy glow return to his eyes, concentrating all your efforts on keeping him distracted for as long as possible.

"Are you giving me kissing advice, dove?" he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, as if he couldn't believe the words that had come out of your mouth. No one had ever criticized his kissing technique.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Dove, c’mon.” Sirius said, making a funny face, and you nudged him playfully.

"You need it!" You assured him with a chuckle.

“That’s how people kiss.”

“Yeah in porn maybe.” You said rolling your eyes, exaggerating things to sound more dramatic. "You know what? I'm going to be the one giving you a lesson for once. This is how girls like to be kissed." Sirius looked at you cautiously, but let you guide him into the position you wanted, intrigued by whatever it was you had in mind. You moved too, and soon you found yourselves sitting across from each other. "Close your eyes." you instructed him and he obeyed without question. "Now lean in, slowly. Let the tension build." 

Your eyes were focused on admiring the beauty of his face as Sirius moved closer and closer to you. He was the definition of masculine beauty with the sharp angles on his cheeks and those enticing lips that called out to you. His long hair framed his face perfectly, looking so silky and soft that you couldn't contain the urge to touch it. You brushed aside a couple of rebel locks that fell over his face, delicately tucking them behind his ear before letting your hand slide down to his cheek. You felt him lean a little into your touch and had to bite your lip to avoid kissing him at that moment.

The distance that separated you was shortening with every second. You could feel his breath mingling with yours, all you had to do was lean forward and you would once again be enveloped in the warmth of his body, feeling the soft caresses of his mouth on yours. You took one last look at his lips and prepared to make contact with him. Only it wasn't your lips on his, but your tongue licking his left cheek.

"Oh no you didn't!" Sirius exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and horror, bringing his hand to his face to wipe your saliva off his cheek. You let out a laugh and he couldn't help but laugh along with you. "You are a phenomenal kisser!" He joked and you gave a small nod, accepting his compliment.

“Thank you. That’s how we like it!”

“I’m taking your word for it. You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?”

“Never! Trust me, girls love to be kissed like that.” Sirius shook his head, as if he still couldn't believe what you had done, but he laughed with you. You had taken him by surprise and he had to admit that a part of him was a little disappointed at not feeling your lips on his again, but he couldn't deny that he was having fun.

"Are you feeling a little better?" You asked him when the laughter died down.

"Yeah, a little." He answered honestly. You had really managed to do in a couple of minutes something that even his best friends hadn't been able to do in hours: make him forget. You had an ability to get through to him that no one else had and it was nice to see you using it for good for once —instead of using it to get on his nerves like you used to. 

"Thank you, dove." You could tell by the tone of his voice that Sirius was genuinely grateful to you. Apparently your nonsense had managed to help him a little and that made you happy. It was nice to be able to give him back some of the positive energy he brought to your days since you had started your arrangement.

"Don't mention it." You shrugged, downplaying it. "Just know that I'm always here for you if you ever need to talk. And this place is yours too now if you ever need it." You rested your hand on his again and Sirius felt that tingling under his skin again as his insides filled with that warm feeling at your words of support.

Oh, he was completely screwed.

You couldn't get that kiss out of your mind. Ever since that day at the lake Sirius was all you could think about. You caught yourself looking at him when you thought he didn't see you, remembering that kiss, what you had felt as he held you, the warmth of his body enveloping you and the softness of his lips on yours. You wanted to feel it again, to experience again the sensation of pure ecstasy that took over you the moment your lips collided. His kiss had made you feel alive in a special way. You had never felt anything like it before, an electricity so intense that it coursed through your whole body, awakening every cell inside you with the simplest of touches. It was pure magic, something out of the most perfect romance novel, no one could blame you for wanting to feel it again.

But then you remembered how you had gotten into that situation in the first place. You had come to him for help in getting another boy's attention and that's what Sirius had done all along. All those cute little moments that awakened butterflies in your stomach every time you remembered them weren't real. You were fooling yourself, seeing things that weren't there. He wasn't spending time with you because he loved you, he wasn't interested in you —at least not in that way—, he was just holding up his end of the bargain. Sure, you had improved your relationship considerably since all this had started, but you had to keep in mind that if it wasn't for your proposal you would still be fighting every chance you got.

Sirius wasn't in love with you and you weren't in love with him. You were just confused because you weren't used to getting that kind of attention from a guy —especially not from a guy like Sirius. Your heart belonged to Oliver, it had for the past three years and that wasn't going to change because of a silly kiss that hadn't meant anything anyway. You had to focus on what was important, what you had worked so hard to get: the date with Oliver. Once you finally managed to get it your mind would be able to focus on that and then you'd realize that your feelings for Sirius were just temporary.

So that's exactly what you did. You mustered all your courage, remembering every lesson you'd learned over the past few weeks, and looked for the perfect opportunity to talk to Oliver. The moment presented itself in Potions class. By sheer luck you ended up being paired up to work on a project together and you took advantage of the opportunity to start a conversation with him.

For the first time in three years you were able to form coherent sentences in front of him, alternating between comments about the project you were working on and casual small talk. The nerves and fear that usually overcame you when he was around were gone, allowing your personality to surface. You spent the entire class chatting and laughing as if you were lifelong friends. As it turned out, Oliver was a really nice guy and really easy to talk to when you didn't overthink every single thing you were going to say to him. You thought Sirius would be proud of you if he could see you acting so relaxed and free. 

That's when you realized that he could probably see you since Gryffindor and Slytherin shared a Potions class, so you looked up to find him among the groups of students. Your eyes found him at the back of the room, sitting next to James as they worked on their potion. Your eyes met for a moment and you gave him a victorious smile, a silent way of letting him know that things between you and Oliver were going well. You thought that after all the time he had spent preparing you for this moment he would be happy to know that his efforts had paid off. You expected him to smile back or even give you a thumbs up in support, but he simply looked away and turned his attention back to the brew he was preparing with his friend. 

You frowned, puzzled by his attitude. Was he angry with you? Had you done something to upset him? He couldn't possibly be mad at you because you were talking to Oliver, could he? That was ridiculous! He was probably in a bad mood about something else that had nothing to do with you. It was most likely about his brother, maybe they were fighting again and that's why he was acting strange. You had to stop obsessing about Sirius and focus on what really mattered.

You tried to ignore your concerns about Sirius at least until the class was over, returning your attention to Oliver and the story he was telling you. You worked and laughed for the rest of the lesson, turning in a perfect potion at the end of the hour. And as you gathered your things and prepared to leave the room you realized you had to make your move. It was now or never. So you summoned all your courage and asked Oliver if he'd like to go out with you sometime.

For some reason you fully expected him to refuse. That voice inside your head that loved to overthink everything you did and imagine the most catastrophic and improbable scenarios kept telling you that it was too fast. You had only shared one successful conversation and you were already asking him out on a date. It had been a mistake and you had to take it back immediately! 

But that voice in your mind was muted when Oliver accepted your offer with a smile.

You stood in your place for a moment, watching Oliver leave the room with the rest of your classmates as your brain tried to process what had just happened. You had spent so much time imagining that moment that now it didn't feel real. A part of you thought it was an overly realistic dream that you were going to wake up from at any moment, though the illusion was shattered when your eyes met Sirius' as he left the room. It was only for a second, but it was enough to leave a bitter taste in your mouth. 

Why did his presence affect you so much?

"Ann, you're not going to believe this!" You exclaimed in excitement when you found your friend in the crowd of students walking through the halls to their respective classes. You pushed her to the side to get a little more privacy, waiting for a group of second year students to pass by to give her the big news. "I got the date!" you said, emphasizing the word 'the' so she understood what you meant. 

"With Sirius? I thought you guys were already dating." Your best friend's response took you by surprise. Why would she think you and Sirius were dating?

"What? No! Sirius and I are not dating. Why would you think that?"

"Oh." She murmured, genuinely surprised. "It's just you guys are spending so much time together lately and look so happy all the time that I just assumed you were dating and were keeping it a secret." She shrugged. "Plus there's that one time I found you two at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop."

“That didn’t mean anything. He was just helping me get a date with Oliver.”

“Oliver? You still like that guy?”

“What’s wrong with him? I thought you liked him.”

“I do! He’s a nice guy, but…” Ann trailed off, like she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. You looked at her with a raised eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest waiting for her to say whatever was on her mind.

"But what?" You pressed her, noticing she wasn't going to speak.

"I just think Sirius it's better for you, that's all." You scrunched up your nose at her words. How could Sirius be better for you when just a couple of weeks ago you weren't able to hold a conversation without fighting like little kids? It was ridiculous, and honestly you were starting to get tired of the universe continuing to insert him in the middle of everything. Oliver was the guy you wanted, not Sirius, was that so hard to understand?

“That’s ridiculous! Plus, Sirius doesn’t even like me like that. We are just now starting to get along, I’m not even sure if he even considers me his friend.”

“You’re joking, right?” Ann looked at you as if she couldn't believe the words coming out of your mouth, something that only added to your confusion. "Have you seen the way he looks at you? That guy is head over heels for you." You let out a laugh that echoed throughout the hallway, but died down when you saw the serious expression on your friend's face. She couldn't be serious, could she? There was no way Sirius had feelings for you.

"That's a good one!" You patted her shoulder, congratulating her as if she had told the funniest joke you'd ever heard.

"I'm being serious, dummy! I've seen you two together and there's no way he doesn't have feelings for you."

"Then you're seeing things!" you exclaimed before turning around and starting to walk to your next class. You no longer wanted to hear what your friend had to say. You had gotten the date you had been dreaming of all this time, why couldn't she just be happy for you? Why did she have to make everything so complicated?

"And do you know what else I think?" She insisted, walking up behind you and raising her voice a little to make sure you heard her. "I think you have feelings for him too but you're too stubborn to admit it."

You decided to ignore her, but her words echoed in your mind for the rest of the day. Could she be right? Could you be in love with Sirius? It sounded ridiculous, something completely impossible. But then you remembered that kiss you had shared by the lake shore. You remembered the tension in the air, the softness of his lips on yours, the way he had held you close to him and the waves of electricity coursing through your body. You weren't sure if you were in love with him, but you couldn't deny that there was a spark between you that was much stronger and intriguing than your relationship with Oliver. Maybe you were too stubborn or too scared to call it for what it was, but it was evident that it was there and apparently everyone could tell. Everyone but the two of you.

You felt like your head was going to explode from so much overthinking and questioning what you were feeling. It was driving you crazy and you weren't even able to come to a conclusion. Every time you were close to finding the answers you were looking for a new voice would pop up in your mind and ruin all your progress with its comments. You were so wrapped up in denial that it was impossible for you to understand how you truly felt.

So you decided to stop worrying about it. If you had learned anything in the last few weeks, it was that everything was so much easier when you turned your brain off for a while, relaxed and let things flow. You had time to figure out your feelings and think about what to do about them. Right now all you had to do was celebrate because your plan had worked. You had gotten that date with Oliver and that was all that mattered.

In the spirit of your new decision you didn't worry about what hidden message could be behind the strange note you got from Sirius asking you to meet him at your special place. You two hadn't spoken in the last few days. The last contact you'd had with him was in Potions class when he practically ignored you. The cryptic message he had left for you inside one of your books made you curious, wondering the reasons behind his interest in meeting you at your special place. However, you tried not to think too much about it, limiting yourself to showing up at the right place and time to hear from his own mouth whatever it was he wanted instead of driving you crazy imagining the worst.

"Hey!" you greeted Sirius awkwardly, feeling a strange tension in the air that took you back to the events of the last time you had been there. He was sitting in the exact same spot as that time, waiting for you to occupy the empty space next to him. "I got your message. Why did you want to meet here?"

"Oh I just wanted to talk to you. We haven't done that in a while." He gave you a smile, but you noticed it wasn't reflected in his eyes. You wondered if maybe that was because the situation with his brother had gotten worse. Maybe that was the reason he wanted to talk to you, after all, you had promised him that you would be there for him when he needed you. 

You took a seat in the empty slot next to him, hoping that the conversation would focus on his family once again. However, the next words out of his mouth took you by surprise. 

"I saw you talking to Oliver the other day." You froze, your brain short-circuiting as you tried to think of how to respond. 

"Y-yeah, I was... I was talking to him." You responded awkwardly. Why was it so weird for you to talk about Oliver with Sirius now? You didn't seem to have a problem with it just a couple of days ago. What had changed? "It went pretty well. I got a date." You smiled, but your smile didn't show in your eyes either.

"That's great, dove! I'm really happy for you." He almost sounded sincere, but you had heard the real joy in his voice too many times in the last few weeks to recognize when he was faking it. His voice was low and quiet, as if he struggled to utter those words. Your friend's voice echoed in your mind and for a moment you wondered if she might be right.

"I have something for you." Sirius' voice snapped you out of your thoughts. He turned for a moment and it was then that you noticed the package resting on one of the large tree roots. "Let's say it's a graduation gift." He added, handing you the package.

You carefully unwrapped the gift, discovering a black piece of fabric inside. But it wasn't just any piece of fabric, when you held it in your hands you realized it was a dress. It was that dress you liked so much but hadn't had the courage to try on when Sirius took you shopping. You froze in place, your eyes traveling from the delicate piece of clothing in your hands to Sirius' face, who was looking at you expectantly.

"I saw the way you were looking at it at the store so I went back and I bought it for you. I don't know why you didn't try it on at the time, but I'm sure it'll look great on you."

You were speechless, your brain unable to put into words how much that small gesture meant to you. He had noticed. He had seen the sparkle in your eyes as you admired that dress in the store. He looked at you when you didn't notice and paid attention to every detail. That thought alone made your heart race. He cared about you, it wasn't a product of your imagination or your heart getting confused. Sirius truly cared for you.

"Sirius, I... You didn't have to..." you struggled to say, trying to find the words to describe what you felt. You didn't know why such a simple gift moved you so much. You supposed it was the principle of the thing, the thought behind it. That dress was a perfect summary of your relationship, a delicate and intricate piece of fabric that you refused to try on out of fear. And just like that dress, you too were afraid to try things out with Sirius. Both were unfamiliar territory for you so you preferred to avoid them rather than face them. 

But Sirius seemed to have a different idea.

"Of course I did! I just knew you would look beautiful in it and I need it for you to have it." Sirius sounded so convinced that for a moment you felt confident, forgetting your fears about the dress. He looked at you with such adoration that there was no way you could feel any different. He gave you all the confidence you needed. Everything was so much easier when Sirius was by your side holding your hand and saying exactly what you needed to hear. He was good for you.

“Maybe you can wear it to your date.”He couldn't hold your gaze when he said that, averting his eyes to the lake that reflected the beautiful orange colors of the sunset in its waters. The idea of wearing that dress in front of anyone but him felt wrong. That outfit was your little secret, your special gift - just like that place was.

It was then that you understood what you had to do. It was time to put denial and fear aside and face reality. You had feelings for Sirius and that wasn't going to change because you forced yourself to be with someone else. It wasn't fair to Oliver or Sirius, and it definitely wasn't fair to you. Even if things didn't turn out the way you hoped, you deserved to explore your feelings for him without fear.

"I don't know. To be honest, I don't know if I want to go out with Oliver anymore."

Sirius returned his gaze to your face, a frown drawn into his expression. "What do you mean? Wasn't that all that you wanted?"

"I used to, yes. But lately I've been thinking about this other guy... he's a real charmer, I can't seem to get him out of my head. It's a tough situation because I used to hate him, but I had the opportunity to get to know him better and I think I'm falling for him." Sirius looked at you with his eyes full of doubt for a moment, refusing to listen to what his heart thought you were saying. But then you smiled at him and he understood your hint.

"I think I know who you're talking about. Is he by any chance the most handsome guy in Gryffindor?" The characteristic cheerful twinkle returned to his eyes as well as a mischievous grin that got a chuckle out of you.

"Maybe." You played dumb. "He's also a huge dork, but I kind of love him for it." This time it was Sirius that let out a chuckle, throwing his head back as his body shook with laughter.

"Well, then you're in luck because this handsome dork is also in love with you."

You shared a meaningful look that was stronger than anything you could say to each other at that moment. And then, just like that other day at the lake, Sirius leaned toward you and pressed his lips to yours. It was a much longer kiss than the first one you shared, one that you both could enjoy in the moment given that it wasn't the product of an impulsive decision. You both wanted it, you longed for it from the moment you parted after your first kiss. 

Sirius' hands framed your face, pulling you closer to him. He needed to feel you against his body, to feel your warmth enveloping him. He had missed the feel of your lips on his, caressing his mouth so delicately. He had spent every second since that kiss cursing himself, fearing that he might never feel you so close to him again. His world had crumbled when he saw you talking to Oliver in Potions class, thinking he had pushed the girl he liked into the arms of another guy. He hated to think that anyone but him could have the chance to caress your lips. They were made just for him to kiss, no one else could touch them.

But now that he had you back in his arms all his concerns disappeared, fading away thanks to the intoxicating mixture of your perfume and the sensation of your lips on his, moving so gracefully together that he couldn't help but think that you were meant to be together.

"Since we're being honest, I have a confession to make." Sirius spoke as you broke apart, struggling to catch his breath. "I never needed help with Herbology, I just needed an excuse to spend more time with you."

"What?" you exclaimed in surprise. You didn't see that one coming. "Then whose plant was that?"

"It was Peter's. He sucks at Herbology." Sirius admitted and you let out a chuckle as you shook your head, unable to believe what you were hearing. 

But your laughter died down as a realization hit you. "Wait a minute. You liked me before all this?" Sirius just nodded, as if such a revelation wasn't important.. "So why were you being such a jerk to me?"

"It was fun, it's very easy to get on your nerves." He shrugged. "Plus, you look adorable when you're angry."

[luvscrazy]

"I can save you." Pt4

Katsuki Bakugo x Fem reader (Enemies to lovers)

Summary: (Preview if you wanna overlook the series idea, the quirk, and the timelines that will occur.) You were born with a medical quirk called Life-Link, which means you can transfer your vitality to others at any time. You decide to take it upon yourself to apply at U.A. What will happen with your non "Heroic" quirk, at this school? Will you achieve your dream of becoming a hero? or are you just useless, like you've been thinking?

Warnings: Minor Language. Mentions of death, most will be gory. (For future reference.)

Word Count: 692

Parts: Part1 Part2 Part3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A spark in the flames.

💥 As the day progressed, we were called onto the training grounds. The area was filled with various obstacles, mock villains, and battle dummies designed to push us to our limits. Class 1-A was also there along the battlegrounds. Our instructor explained to all of us that we would get a chance to showcase our potential. We’re divided into teams to tackle different scenarios that test combat, strategy, and teamwork. 

💥 I wasn’t assigned to the combat section. My part was to watch and observe everyone and provide support if needed. That’ll give me extra points to bond with everyone..hopefully. I was paired with Kendo and Shio on a team. This will require me to evaluate and heal any injuries they might get during training. While I was working with them I got a sense of their personalities and quirks. Kendo is enthusiastic and determined but brings motivation to everyone. Her quirk is cool, and it's big on combat. I like the martial art moves she can do, maybe later I'll ask her to train me. Shi, on the other hand, is thoughtful and strategic in guiding her quirk Vine. Her hair is made up of vines. They are spikey can capture someone, and are pretty tough to get out of. That's a good quirk to have within combat and catching villains especially. 

💥 I watched as they used their quirks. I was also spotting in class 1-A. Their quirks were so cool. A boy could harden his body, it sort of reminded me of TetsuTetsu, Maybe their cousins? A girl with pink skin had an acidic quirk. I watched as her quirk melted the dummies down. Lastly, the one I watched was a boy with an explosion quirk. It's hard to miss his quirk since it's so loud. 

💥 It's impressive how many dummies he's knocked down in a second. I focused my attention back on Kendo and Shio. Once training was done, the explosion boy was walking behind me as he muttered something, clearly looking pissed off. As I was waiting for Kendo and Shio to get done, curiosity struck me as I looked at the boy, he looked pretty beat up. Before I knew it was following quietly behind him. He sat down by a nearby bench, and I stood in front of him. 

💥 He gives me a death glare.

 “What do you want?”He grumbles not in the mood to converse. I take a deep breath and try to remain composed. 

💥 “I saw you fighting, and your injuries looked pretty bad, so I'm here to help if you want it,” I said with a slight smile at him.

 He glares at me but doesn’t refuse as he takes off his gauntlets. He lets me inspect his arms and hands. As I'm working on him, I can feel the tension in the air. There's an awkward silence as I work on him, but we manage to make some small talk. 

💥 “Look, I know you think my quirk isn’t suited for combat,” I say, trying to keep the conversation light, “but it’s not just about fighting. Sometimes, being able to heal and save lives is just as important.”

💥 Bakugo’s eyes are narrow as he processes your words. “You think you can just come in here and change things? This is hero training. You better not get in our way.”

💥I meet his gaze firmly. “I’m here to support and help, not to be a burden. I believe we all have our roles to play, even if they’re not always obvious.”

💥 “Look, I don't know who gave you the idea that a MEDICAL quirk can come in and be a pro hero and defeat villains, but you're not going to make it here, or out there. Should’ve gone to a regular boring high school, for I wanna be a hero like you.” He yells. 

💥What an asshole. I ignore his words as I keep working on him. Once I'm done he pulls away roughly and doesn’t even give me a thank you as he picks up his gauntlets and heads over to his class. I glare at him slightly. 

💥 “What an asshole!”, I repeat to myself.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[sadie-bug345]

gangs favorite classes🫶🥰🫡☝️🤓

i keep taking breaks from tumblr but i’m really tryna get back in the swing of things🙏

ponyboy:

ahhhh i haven’t reread the book in a while but he probably mentions classes he likes or he doesn’t like

ik he has like a D in his creative writing class or smth but that’s cause he don’t like the restrictions that come with writing for an assignment

in reality i feel like he is an english guy overall

also gives history ngl

more social studies classes

8/10 hes real for that

johnny:

elective guy thru and thru

like photography, art, ceramics, graphic design, etc

he might be amazing at these artsy classes

and that’s why he likes them OR

he just loves the chill classroom vibe yk

also he likes the kids in there too

i feel like johnny gets so annoyed with louder socs who mess around in the classes he likes

cause my guy is actually respectful🫶🙏

10/10 so valid honestly, like photo is fr my favorite class and i feel like johnny would totally fw that

sodapop:

language classes

like spanish, french, german, whatever floats your boat

i think he likes the funny atmosphere of everyone kinda messing up whenever they’re put on the spot to speak in class

just cause no one really cares

ALSO DESTROYS during presentations btw

like either he’s genuinely good

or he just keeps messing up and giggles abt it so much that the teacher starts yelling at him abt it

genuinely has a dgaf mindset to school in general which is very admirable

6/10 i hate my spanish 2 class but its ok😭🙏

darry:

sports med / sports weights

OR anatomy

like he just enjoys sports so anything that relates to that he finds really interesting

he likes the helping people aspect of sports med

and i’m in sports med as well which is actually so fun ngl

he eats with that

always crushes tests

i think he really studies for tests and actually tries

which allows him to get good grades🤓☝️

but he couldn’t care less abt classes he doesn’t like

7/10 valid

dally:

pretends to not give a shit but we know he does when it comes to the gang

bc of this, his fave classes are whatever he has the most friends in

other than that he thinks all classes are terrible and they all feel like years

math guy when he actually understands the concept

but the second things get hard he just gives up

“who needs these hyperbolas anyways man🙄”

lives for lunch and after school cause he just walks around and talks

or fights with other kids but we don’t talk abt that

6/10 im the same way abt math

two-bit:

any class where he can mess with the teacher

like either the teacher is chill and jokes around with him

OR the teacher actually sucks and two just makes them even more mad

lives for class laughter

like soda he enjoys more participation based classes, less the actual content

somehow he always gets sat in the desk right next to the teachers desk so they can keep an eye on him

barely ever gets to sit next to his friends for obvious reasons LMAO

7/10 also valid

steve:

obviously auto mechanic if the school offers it

otherwise he gives a science kid

like biology, physics, anatomy, stuff like that

his brain is just the type to get it

so those classes are barely hard for him

which is SO LUCKY

he the type to just go off about some technical concept the class is going over and explain it perfectly to his friend who needs help and then make a your mom joke the next minute

5/10 i hate physics and i hate how he’d be better at it than me

ANYWAYS REQUEST STUFF PLS🫶😋‼️

(btw i’m going thru requests rn so dw!!)

[thanx-files]

Gethsemane Review and Season 4 Wrap-Up

Listen. Listen. These get longer every season, but I can’t help myself. I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to put my thoughts into comprehensible language after Gethsemane. So please, indulge me, agree with me, start a fight with me in the replies, but whatever you do, just join me in being unwell about season 4 of The X-Files. Spoilers, of course.

Gethsemane

I, a child of the 21st century, am watching this show on a streaming platform. It has long since wrapped, and I know for damn sure that David Duchovny will return as Fox Mulder for many of the seasons to follow. Even so, I am choking on this ending. What the exact and entire fuck do you mean HE DIED?

I cannot imagine watching this, then waiting MONTHS to know what happened. I know those message boards were buzzing. Not only that, but the viewers would not have had the benefit of the Dean Winchester trope thanks to which every time a main character dies you think, “it’s fine honestly don’t even worry about it, they’ll be back in two weeks.” (Even if you’re wrong.)

UGH okay now that I’ve talked about that, it’s time to be a broken record: I love to see Mulder and Scully at odds. The scene as they’re leaving the Smithsonian is ART to me. They’re no longer fighting the same war; they’re on the same battlefield, arguing about who the fuck is shooting at them in the first place.

He doesn’t see that she needs him because of how desperately she doesn’t want to need him. She says she’s out of the game while sliding all her chips into the center of the table. They’re impossible. I’m obsessed with them.

Also we got more Catholic Scully in this ep, and we know I love that, too. I love that no one can touch whatever God is to her — not a priest and not Mulder either. I love that she is unthreatened by the truth, whatever it happens to be.

Also, the dialogue this ep goes hard in general, but Mulder hearing the phrase, “They invented you” is so fucked up. He’s a cog in the very machine he hopes to dismantle. Or is he? Or was he?

This ep had me, who jumped onboard with MSR the second Mulder turned on that slide projector in the pilot, wondering if I had been wrong the whole time. Then they pulled that ending. The last seven seconds of the ep had me so fucked up. Scully getting choked up — the FBI official she’s been explaining it all to trying to keep her from saying the thing out loud. It’s overwhelming.

This has all been a lot of summary and not a lot of reviewing, but what else is new? TL;DR: This ep fucks. Favorite season finale so far, followed by Anasazi.

Season 4

One of the strengths of season 4 is how connected it all feels. With a few notable exceptions, we start up on this rollercoaster hill of autonomy, mortality, power, and the self. I know those are major themes of the whole series, but when you look at them through the lens of the cancer arc, they look kinda different. Suddenly we have foreshadowing. We have the specter of death looking in on us for more than just an episode, a moment. We start to feel like maybe something bad could actually happen to Mulder and Scully —something permanent and paradigm-shifting.

The weakness, for me, of season 4 is that it has no sense of humor. No Clyde Bruckman. No Coprophages. No Jose Chung. The episodes are good, of course, but none of them are fun! I don’t need another sitcom ep, but I do need a breath, for the love of God.

5 favorite eps:

Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man: Yes! I am as surprised as you are, seeing as I made a comment last season about how little patience I have for the CSM and his musings, specifically. But I find I did actually want to know who this guy is. And the fact that he’s watching the Gunmen the whole time — that’s the power thing I was talking about before. He says it himself: He could kill them anytime. But not today.

Tunguska & Terma: The first time a 2-part mytharc sequence has made it to my favorites list! I fucking love it when Alex Krycek shows his face around Mulder and Scully because he WILL stab them in the back and it WILL be dramatic as fuck. (I wrote down the phrase “just kiss already” something like 7 times in my notes during these eps, basically any time Mulder and Krycek were on screen.)

Demons: I know we all love to see a pathetic shell of a man abandoning all reason. We also love to see Scully as the deranged, protective one, stopping at nothing to save her partner. Even if said partner made some truly terrible decisions.

Gethsemane: See above.

5 least favorite eps:

The Field Where I Died: Not only was this slow and boring, but by the end, I was ready to crawl into the TV and slap Fox Mulder my own self. This case could’ve been solved and no one had to die. But he wasted their time. (Please feel free to correct me in the replies; I would actually love to be wrong.) Also, the southern accent for the big field monologue made my Carolina girl heart wither.

El Mundo Gira: That’s not even remotely what a chupacabra is. I feel like this was supposed to be our Jose Chung this season. It let me down.

Tempus Fugit & Max: Back to our regularly scheduled programming where I get lost in these two-parters because who is that? Where are they going? Who is chasing them? What? Huh?

Zero Sum: I am confused and I miss Scully. Skinner and Mulder will just do circles around each other and growl at people without her. I know this is a glimpse of the stakes of the cancer arc, but it’s not very good TV, is it?

[erebus0dora]

Hi! I love your art! As an artist myself, I mostly used water based paint (gouache, acrylic, watercolour blocks etc...), and you've got me really curious about oil painting techniques. Would you mind sharing some of yours? and explain how it differs from watercolor?

I wish you a nice day (or night, depending on when you see this)! Keep up the good work <3

hi, anon, beloved, and thank you!

i have very little experience with oils, but from what i know i can tell it's very much Not Sheer, so layering like with watercolours (the more you add, the darker it gets, and you can see the sketch through the paint layer) doesn't work.

working with oils does resemble acrylics and gouache in a way, but oils are thick and SLOW. even the most fast-drying thinner can't make them solid and dry in seconds. it usually takes hours/days for an oil painting to fully dry, and during all that time you can (and should) move the paint layer around. imo that's the most fun kind of paint when it comes to blending things seamlessly. keep a soft dry brush close so that when you paint the blocks you can connect them afterwards, it feels like pure magic.

also adding a thin coloured layer before you paint anything over it works really well because it "connects" all the parts painted over it, but it's very similar to gouache/acrylics, so nothing really new here.

i also like this quiet Russian guy on YouTube, you don't need to know the language to see what he's doing: here he shows how to work "from a colour stain", because primarily that's just adding a mass of paint in general colours and SCULPTING from it. his main idea is to squint hard from time to time to see the general image first and add details later. he even pokes at oils with fingers to move the paint, which fascinates me.

anyway, i hope this helps 💜

[l-a-l-o-u]

do you support ai art?

that's a tough one to answer. sorry in advance for the wall of text.

when i first started seeing ai-generated images, they were very abstract things. we all remember the gandalf and saruman prancing on the beach pictures. they were almost like impressionism, and they had a very ethereal and innocent look about them. a lot of us loved those pictures and saw something that a lot of human minds couldn't create, something new and worth something. i love looking at art that looks like nothing i've seen before, it always makes me feel wonder in a new type of way. ai-generated art was a good thing.

then the ai-generated pictures got much more precise, and suddenly we realized they were being fed hundreds of artists' pieces without permission, recreating something similar and calling it their own. people became horrified, and i was too! we heard about people losing their job as background artists on animated productions to use ai-generated images instead. we saw testimonies of heartbroken artists who had their lovingly created art stolen and taken advantage of. we saw people being accused of making ai-generated art when theirs was completely genuine. ai-generated art became a bad thing.

i've worked in the animation industry. right now, i work at an animation school, specifically for 2D animation. i care a lot about the future of my friends in the industry (and mine, if i go back to it), and about all the students i help throughout the years. i want them to find jobs, and that was already hard for a lot of them before the ai-generated images poked their heads into our world.

i'm not very good at explaining nuanced point of view (this is also my second language) but i'll do my best. i think that ai-generated art is a lot of things at once. it's dangerous to artists' livelihoods, but it can be a useful tool. it's a fascinating technological breakthrough, but it's being used unethically by some people. i think the tools themselves are kind of a neutral thing, it really depends on what we do with it.

every time i see ai-generated art i eye it suspiciously, and i wonder "was this made ethically?" and "is this hurting someone?". but a lot of it also makes me think "wow, cool concept, that inspires me to create". that last thought has to count for something, right? i'm an artist myself, and i spend a lot more time looking at art than making art - it's what fuels me. i like to imagine a future where we can incorporate ai-generation tools into production pipelines in a useful way while keeping human employees involved. i see it as a powerful brainstorming tool. it can be a starting point, something that a human artist can take and bring to the next level. it can be something to put on the moodboard. something to lower the workload, which is a good thing, imo. i've worked in video games, i've made short films, and let me tell you, ai-generated art could've been useful to cut down a bit of pre-production time to focus on some other steps i wanted to put more time into. there just needs to be a structure to how it's used.

like i said before, i work in a school. the language teachers are all very worried about ChatGPT and company enabling cheating; people are constantly talking about it at my workplace. i won't get into text ais (one thing at a time today) but the situation is similar in many ways. we had a conference a few months ago about it, given by a special committee that's been monitoring ai technology for years now and looking for solutions on how to deal with it. they strongly suggest to work alongside AIs, not outlaw it - we need to adapt to it, and control how it's used. teach people how to use it responsibly, create resources and guidelines, stay up to date with this constantly evolving technology and advocate for regulation. and that lines up pretty well with my view of it at the moment.

here's my current point of view: ai-generated art by itself is not unethical, but it can easily be. i think images generated by ai, if shared publicly, NEED a disclaimer to point out that they were ai-generated. they should ONLY be fed images that are either public domain, or have obtained permission from their original author. there should also be a list of images that fed the ai that's available somewhere. cite your sources! we were able to establish that for literature, so we can do it for ai, i think.

oh and for the record, i think it's completely stupid to replace any creative position with an ai. that's just greedy bullshit. ai-generated content is great and all, but it'll never have soul! it can't replace a person with lived experiences, opinions and feelings. that's the entire fucking point of art!!

the situation is constantly evolving. i'm at the point where i'm cautious of it, but trying to let it into my life under certain conditions. i'm cautiously sharing ai pictures on my blog; sometimes i change my mind and delete them. i tell my coworkers to consider ways to incorporate them into schoolwork, but to think it over carefully. i'm not interested in generating images myself at the moment because i want to see what happens next, and i'd rather be further removed from it until i can be more solid in my opinion, but i'm sure i'll try it out eventually.

anyway, to anybody interested in the topic, i recommend two things: be open-minded, but be careful. and listen to a lot of different opinions! this is the kind of thing that's very complicated and nuanced (i still have a lot more to say about it, i didn't even get into the whole philosophy of art, but im already freaking out at how much i wrote on the Discourse Site) so i suggest looking at it from many different angles to form your own opinion. that's what i'm doing! my opinion isn't finished forming yet, we'll see what happens next.

[pumpkinstrawbrew]

you're toxic, i'm slippin' under with a taste of a poison paradise

...

(i always jokingly call their ship 'my chemical romance', mostly bc of the fact that crane is awfully good at chemistry, among the other things. n' i do dearly love this aspect of their relationships. gotta adore how it's literally 'toxic' love, bc the fear toxin is a thing, n' they both end up sniffing it, every time they met. so it's less of poetic language here. it's just that they end up inhaling fumes n' havin' a bad trip. plain as day.

anyho', these arts are circling around the idea of what if at one point, crane dosed both of them on purpose. n' what if he did it as the scarecrow. or more so, when he was in mindset of the scarecrow.

btas crane n' old comic ones are usually depicted as sadists, who ironically are afraid of pain themselves. as jonathan is the sort of man, who is afraid to suffer / be hit / be picked on, bc it was his whole life. he knows how it feels n' he's dreading it. n' while it's cute, i was wondering about more crazy n' drastic measures, that crane might take, even if he knows that it would hurt him, but at same time, would grant him smth that he wants very-very badly. in this context, some 'discomfort' should be fine. n' i believe, that if he's 'out of it' or desperate enough, he might do it.

in this context, him using ft for smth dare i say kinky, isn't out of question. i often think' that crane might view his ft as a connecting link between himself n' batman. even if he doesn't know who batman is, the difference between them is evident. starting from the looks n' ending up with their personalities. but when batman is afraid, it's like jonathan bringing bruce to his level, isn't it? at that moment, they're the same. crane dosing them both is almost a power move. kind of harmful, bc crane cannot quickly overcome his own toxin like batman does. but still, it would take batman aback. give jonathan those 10 seconds of being the 'big bad' man in the room. but that's just a cherry on top. the main point of this is that jon can get away with smth, like a kiss or smth more, bc it would all be lost in horror soon enough. with this nearly an ultimatum in mind, he can waste those few moments *where he still udnerstands what's real n' what's not* to be bold.

i feel like btas crane will be a tad more modest about it still vs his more unhinged comic counterpart. but batman would be caught off guard, either way! i generally do enjoy the situations, where bruce is ruffled n' taken for a ride from time to time. he's very serious n' very prepared, n' all that, but it's fun to let jon score a win. even if it's small, it still would plague batman for days. his enemy dosed both of them, crawled into his laps, kissed him n' then just.....refused to explain himself. n' while it would be puzzling from bruce's pov. i love how it would have been the fear-included kiss for both of them, but jon would have been afraid of it *touching lips with him* even without ft, so this what makes it painfully appealing to me.

i stan by a hc that pleasure is generaly very hard concept for crane. n' he doesn't fully know what to do with it. or how to proceed. any fantasy, where things just nice n' not complicated feels untrue to him. he can't do what harley did n' just smooch the bat. he's not a pretty gal or even someone, who has any skills in that area. more so, the mere idea about how the bat might be willing to do smth with him, outside of being low-key cornered into it or lured into, is beoynd him. which is pretty sad, but it just feels kinda....like, well, jon, haha. i can't picture him as someone, who can overlook his self-hatred n' disgust this easily. but causing smth, when controled by fear n' despair for having that one thing he's pinning for, now this would sound realistic to him.

as for bruce, he can take his revenge by simply kissing crane back. n' also explain nothing. i imagine, that when it happens, crane's brain will freeze. it's like an instant defeat.)

[sunkissedchld]

𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚'𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐲 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭

Nikola Stojanovic is a Serbian astrologer known for sharing his theory that each degree of the zodiac circle corresponds to the zodiac signs. @bratz-kitten has the best post on overall correspondents and specific degrees that Stojanovic focused on, and I used said post to apply the theory to my chart. i also used forensicastrolger’s post on their site because i felt it added even more information.

this intepretation is obviously specific to my chart, but if you have similar placements you may find it helpful. you might also find it helpful if you want an idea of how to start applying this theory to your chart. i hope you all find this helpful!

Leo Ascendant at 11°

the first house correlates to our appearance, first impressions, and our natural tendencies/disposition. with my ascendant in leo, my hair is a very noticable part of me. people may view me as a confident person who is a natural leader. i’m likely easily recognizable and have influence over others due to my charisma and prestige/high status.

the eleventh degree is an aquarius degree. according to nikola, this degree is connected to suicide. others say it’s connected to divorce. in my opinion, these two subjects connect in that appearances don’t match what’s under the surface. this is only heightened as this degree is on my ascendant, which directly correlates to literal appearances. aquarian degrees also have ties to technology, innovation, networking, intelligence, and humanitarianism.

to me, this manifests in my chart in that fact that i have a hard time connecting my own view of myself to the view others have of me. what i project does not match what’s inside - or at least, i don’t feel that it does. this probably also manifests in the greatness/potential others see in me that i also have a hard time seeing in myself. this might lastly manifest in a “suicide” of my reputation where i ruin people’s expectations of me because i cause my own downfall.

3H Scorpio Moon at 2°

the third house relates to the mind, communication/language, and people we find roots with before our mother (ie. siblings). the moon details our inner bearings - our emotions and instinctual desires and actions. it’s important to note the moon is in its fall in scorpio, meaning the planet is uncomfortable and debilitated in its bearings. with that said, my scorpio moon makes for an intense placement. i tend to be overly introspective to the point of isolation when it comes to my thoughts, as they’re often intense. when going through internal turmoil, i often look to drastic transformative actions in order to feel more in control.

the second degree is a taurean one. nikola believed this degree was linked to high achievements and greatness - often in the public eye. taurean degrees can also be indicators of luxury, stability, and one’s voice.

i feel this degree and planet placement seem to go against one another. my emotions are almost inherently blocked from the public due to the scorpio influence, but the second degree makes for a situation where my emotions are likely to be exposed to the general public in a large way. with the connection to one’s voice, i feel this manifests in my chart in that i have a way of achieving greatness as a result of my emotions in the way i communicate them. oftentimes, it’s hard for me to express my emotions verbally, but i have a way with displaying them in my writings and other art forms. i may be able to gain greatness, attention, and luxury because of the way i learn to express my emotions to the collective.

5H Sagittarius Mercury at 22°

the fifth house corresponds to life’s pleasures - artistic talents, entertainment, romance, and the inclination and want to be in the spotlight. mercury handles communication, education, and short travels. my sagittarius placement enables me to have a way with words, as explained when talking about my moon sign. i am able to entertain and educate others in a way that is mesmerizing and engaging but also friendly and relatable rather than condescending and confusing. my ideas and words tend to be more all-encompassing and abstract but well thought out, so people feel drawn to it.

the twenty-second degree is connected to capricorn. nikola proposed this degree to be one that indicates one who is “to kill or be killed”. he explains this in a literal sense, but it doesn’t have to entail actual murder. i personally believe the twenty-second degree operates similarly to leo degrees in that one is likely to gain recognition due to the capricorn influence (capricorn rules over the tenth house, which deals with fame, public recognition, legacy, etc.). i also believe it has more karmic ties due to its closeness to the twenty-ninth degree. in my opinion, the twenty-second degree could indicate an area of life where can gain and/or lose a ton. it could indicate a possible fall from grace.

looking at this placement along with my scorpio moon interpretation leads me to believe my words and writings could be my biggest advantage and my biggest downfall. i could gain public recognition as result of my words (ie. writing a book or music), but if i were to go into the deep end a lose myself by becoming too arrogant or forgetting my original reasonings for sharing my words i could leave a smeared legacy. this could technically be seen in what i do on this platform! i share my ideas and such relating to astro content and have gained many people’s trust, but that trust can easily be lost if i’m rude, don’t keep my word, or (going back to the leo interpretation) mar the image people have of me.

5H Sagittarius Pluto at 15°

pluto rules over transformations, death & rebirth, power, sexuality, and mystery. this planet is generational, and i was born while it was in sagittarius (1995 - 2008). with this placement in my fifth house, i experience and understand Pluto’s traits best within a creative arena. my power lies within my creative abilities (and is enhanced due to my fifth house and sagittarius stellium). for others, discovering the hidden parts of me is like a cat-and-mouse chase that they often enjoy. personally, i explore the hidden parts of me utilizing the art of creation.

the fifteenth degree is associated with gemini. nikola asserts it as an “assination” or “kill”/murder degree, and says that it could indicate accidental death if in the sign of gemini. gemini degrees are also associated with double happenings and geometric patterns. 

the concept of a degree associated with “assisination”, murder, and/or accidental death connected to a pluto placement makes me believe the effects of pluto are heightened in my life - and this is even more so true as the planet conjuncts both my sun (representing my ego, my core beliefs and ideals; essentially who i am) and my venus (what i love and attach myself to; what draws me in).

in one way, this degree and the aspects i have to the planet could be one explanation as to why the concepts of death and rebirth have always been a focal point in my life. where the fifteenth degree is associated with accidental deaths in gemini, one could argue it means intentional deaths in the sign of sagittarius since the two are sister signs. taking this argument into account and remembering the association of patterns with the degree makes me believe that my encounters with death and are intentional in order to aid in my growth and ultimate transformation. the concept of rebirth is one that i am to become comfortable with because it’s important to my being and goals (see sun-pluto aspect). 

this also goes back to my interpretation of my mercury degree with the concept of killing coming back. i also think this, again, plays into the aspect of me having a bigger purpose that could connect to public recognition - so much so that the recognition is generational. this reminds me of the idea of someone completely tearing themselves down and almost re-creating themselves in order to become their best person - not only for themselves but also for the collective. in all, it makes me believe i need to be willing to tear down my ego and wants in order to become more.

5H Sagittarius Chiron at 29°

chiron represents one’s deepest wounds - the traumas from childhood that leave deep impressions on someone for long period of time. my fifth house placement makes for an even closer emphasis on the wounds’ impact and presence on my childhood. this in combination with the sagittarius placement means i have long term wound relating to self-expression. with my fifth house stellium, i have a need to be creative and unique in my thoughts and actions, but early life experiences lead to self-doubt and possible repression.

the twenty-ninth degree is an indicator of clairvoyance and strong intuition. nikola proposed that those with placements in the twenty-ninth degree could predict the future; he also had this degree in his own chart. it should also be noted the twenty-ninth degree is a leo degree, which deals with attention, fame, expression, and creativity. this degree could indicate the person has a knowing feeling of future success.

in astrology, it’s naturally assumed that chiron is meant to be healed. with this, the degree of the asteroid could explain the severity of the wound. the fact that chiron is connected to my fifth house sagittarius stellium (which includes my sun sign) could explain why i often feel confused about whether or not fifth house activities like singing, performing, writing, etc. are really for me. it also explains why i doubt the beauty of the art i create.

additionally, the twenty-ninth degree could further indicate that my future is linked to fame and attention. it could also mean that i am already aware of the fame present in my future. so, despite my current doubting of my art and my hobbies, my deeper conscious is likely aware of the true final outcome.

1H Leo Juno at 29°

juno is an asteroid connected to the roman goddess that rules over marriage and family and who is also known as the protector of women. this roman goddess is also known as hera in greek beliefs. hera is also connected to the former topics of juno, but is also known for her fierce love for her husband - zeus. her love for zeus was so prominent that even when he would cheat on her, hera would instead punish and blame the mistresses rather than zeus himself. with that, asteroid juno is known to be connected to marriage and represents what one often looks for in a long-term significant other.

with this sign in leo and the first house, i desire someone who is fiercely protective and loyal. i may prefer being by the person often and may even engage in PDA. this placement also gives me trophy wife/husband vibes. there’s a want to be shown off and doted on. the first house placement makes me think of love at first sight. regardless, there is a want for love to be grand and immediate yet long lasting.

as stated before, the twenty-ninth degree is associated with both psychic abilities and leo traits including fame, attention, expression, and fun. i also mentioned a knowing feeling of success.

with this clairvoyance aspect present, i propose that juno in the twenty-ninth degree could be an indicator of a soulmate and/or twin flame connection, and this is likely intensified with the first house placement. this could tell of a love from a past life or a love that even those beyond this life know about. this could be a love where my future spouse and i already know about one another before meeting; it could even mean that we’re able to speak to one another without being together. this would explain why sometimes i feel as if i learn small bits of information about then through my dreams.

the leo traits could mean that i gain fame, success, or public recognition from my long term significant other. the leo and first house placements could also mean that i’m likely to learn more about myself due my future spouse. i might open up more and become more confident in myself due to their presence.

[smilesrobotlover]

I need to know about your Link OCs! Can you give me a brief summary of them all? Or a fun fact for each? Who’s the cinnamon rolls vs the ones who would kill you in a heartbeat? I must know 👀

Hehe since you asked… UwU I’ll explain top to bottom from that one image

Fluffy is the predecessor to Cursed. It’s no secret anymore cuz it was sorta revealed in the comic already if you remember what he looks like but he’s also Cursed’s grandfather :) Idk what he did specifically I’m still tryna figure it out but I know some major things he did was that he rescued the young prince since some evil (possibly Vaati) kidnapped him for his divine magic. Typically it’s a princess with the goddesses blood in her veins but I’m like… there had to be a dude right? It would be exceptionally rare but that prince had the power of the goddesses :) and fluffy also tried to protect Ordon from the tyrant king who tried to force Ordonians to submit to his will. There would’ve been some intense bloodshed but there was a bright light and all the Ordonians disappeared. So ordon is a ghost town. Where’d they go? 🤔 when his oldest son Taril was like, 10-14 he left mysteriously and never returned.

Then Cursed I can’t talk about much cuz his story is being explored in @thecurseofdemisecomic which I haven’t worked on in a hot second and I need motivation again cuz it’s kinda dying unfortunately. I’m not even done with arc one 😭😭 but you can read some of it there. If ya want :) the main premise is that Ganondorf is actively hunting down the hero of Hyrule. Only issue, the hero always appears from the most random spots ever. So he’s hard to find

Malakan is… confusing to me. He’s Cursed’s successor and idk what to do anymore with it. It was gonna be called the Curse of Hylia but truthfully the lore for that doesn’t fit the lore I had anymore. I feel like Hylia is truly gone, living on through Zelda, so idk what’s going on there. But the art I made was cute lol. Anyways yeah idk what to do with him, he’s just hangin out. He’s also Cursed’s like, great grandson? Mayhaps? But yeah, he was like, bffs with Ganondorf and Zelda. It was one of those ;)

Moon is my son and my baby. His whole story I almost made a comic for but nothing has happened yet. Basically hes from the dark timeline to TCOD where the hero was murdered and the master sword gone. The world fought back for a long while, but without the master sword, the world inevitably was nearly destroyed, with Demise winning (in this Demise and Ganondorf started working together). The world was a barren wasteland and slavery was common. Moon was a slave and he was thrown into a pit after he fought back against the slavers to protect someone. The golden three returned to Hyrule to salvage what they could, Farore, being the goddess of the life, wanting to save it entirely. Because of Moon’s courage, she sent him the Triforce of course before being cursed into a little bunny. Demise couldn’t kill her but he sure as heck humiliated her with that form. Moon finds a zelda and after discovering his Triforce of courage (zelda having the Triforce of wisdom), she sent him to find the shards of the Triforce of power, which was shattered when she tried to defeat the evil. Moon finds Farore and they search for the shards, eventually restoring Hyrule with the Triforce. Idk what specifically happens after that but he meets Groose, he gets magic, and it’s fun :) Moon is deaf but he never learned how to communicate, like ever, so it was a rocky road for him until he learned sign language. He’s also Skord Link’s direct ancestor UwU idk why but that happened. That’s why Sky kinda looks like him! It was an accident but I leaned into it!

Then Real. He’s a fun kiddo. Basically his story is that he’s some kid who moved to Hyrule after his father passed away, and the supposed hero of Hyrule went searching for the master sword with his help. But Real ended up being the one to draw the sword and having the hero’s spirit. The fake hero did not like this and was raised to believe he was the true hero, so let’s just say he did some bad things. He took Real to try to steal his Triforce of courage cuz he believed that would get him the master sword, and Real was able to escape. He meets Beck (or Linebeck the 87th ;)) and is able to convince him to help him. They run away from “Fake” despite the many tricks he throws their way ( he pretends he’s Real’s father at some point but Beck knew that his father died. Also Fake is like, 18 years old lmao). Idk what happens after that. Beck has a son that supposedly died by a creature that steals force (but he doesn’t) and it possibly takes Beck and there’s this whole thing. Idk the ending is messy but that’s the gist of it! I actually did a whumptober with Beck and Real! Fun times! Also Real loses his eye 😔

And then Flower… oh my baby Flower. He’s such a good boy and has such a gentle soul. This is in Moon’s timeline. Because the death of the hero caused so much destruction, the royal family started searching for the hero to protect him. But it got a little extreme and Flower was forcefully taken as a baby (this leads into Real’s story with the royal family taking the wrong baby). He was raised by the sages, specifically the Sage of light named Kaeru, who is a terrible and abusive person. Flower loves animals and has a blue cuccoo named Nitrogen thanks to the folks on discord and he meets a friendly Moblin too. Zelda in this is really pushed by Kaeru and he’s noticeably exhausted. There’s no big plot, it’s just Flower hangin out. I also have a whumptober fic with him and Zelda lol. I love him

And then they’re not here but there’s also Rayne and Mushroom!

Rayne is the hero in the villain squad au! He has an older brother and is seen as a failure :D And Mushroom is a random child who was raised by a Goron! Idk how else to explain them, mushroom is so silly.