#sirius black x fem reader

[cosmal]

I really really want to see like shy! Reader with either Fred or Sirius, just cause of how different the boys are personality wise compared to their shy s/o. Like especially if the s/o has attachment issues, needing to touch them but getting flustered when making an attempt to hold the boys hand. Just ugh 💌

hold my hand

summary you really want to hold sirius's hand and don't know how to ask him.

content sirius black x shy!fem!reader

Sirius looks really pretty. You weren’t sure if it was possible, but he’s proving himself right now. You won’t be selfish to think he’s done it for you by any means, but you’re feeling selfish tonight.

He sits across from you, light eats its way up his chest where his satin shirt dips down to reveal his skin. Decorated with tattoos and a silver chain that dances between them. The matching piercing glistens where it dangles from his ear.

He’s always been donned in pretty jewellery. Bangles that clink when he moves, rings stacked on his fingers that bite your skin every time he touches you.

You’re not sure what you are. Sirius touches you when you want. He kisses you and hugs you but you’re not together. When you really think about it you know how stupid it is. You’re both too content to do anything about it. But tonight, he looks so fucking pretty all you want to do is hold his hand.

He’s talking passionately about something James. Roaring laughter and stories you’re sure they’ve shared before. You’d slide across the couch or lean into his side if you had it in you. Like you’ve ever had the confidence — especially with Sirius Black.

Like Sirius has some third sense, he lets his conversation fade out with James and turns his attention to you. You hide the small smile in your drink. Trying to act like you haven’t been staring a hole in his thigh since you sat down.

“Y/N, lovely,” he says, sliding the extra space between you. James moves his attention to Regulus and you feel less guilty.

You turn like you’re surprised he’s near you and put your hands in your lap. “Sirius,” you say quietly.

He puts his drink on the table near your legs and turns to face you. His knees press into yours and you stare at where they meet. “You okay?” he asks. You really want to touch him.

“Yeah,” you say, blinking back up at him. He smiles at you sadly.

“You need another drink?”

You’d love some water. “I’m okay, thank you.”

Now he’s frowning at you and you feel worse. You expect the next question before it comes.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re kinda looking right through me, honey.” he says, hand finding your leg. It burns and you wish it didn’t.

Honey. You’re not together but he calls you honey. And lovely, and darling, and baby. If he can call you any pet name he wants, then surely you can touch him.

Sometimes it’s an ache you can’t ignore. Usually, Sirius has a knack for knowing how to fix it. You like being near him, you always have, and Sirius likes doing things you like. He’ll let you sit at his side, hang off his arm, and lean all your weight onto him if you need to. But he’s always the one to initiate it. Always.

So when you say, “Can I — could I maybe hold your hand?” at a volume he can barely hear, Sirius, dies.

His smile almost reaches his eyes when he pushes his hand out in between you. Palm upwards, fingers wriggling about. “Course you can.”

You smile that demure smile that you know Sirius stupidly adores. Pinched brows and appled cheeks.

You link your fingers through his and the ache abates. “Thank you.”

He smiles something that says Don’t be. You don’t ever have to ask. Like it’s obvious. Pulling you into his side until you’re smooshed against his shoulder and slumped into the couch. You think maybe he likes you more than you know.

He flows back into more conversation with Frank, making sure he gives your hand a few squeezes to make sure you know he’s still thinking of you. The conversation ebbs and flows because he’s Sirius and you’re more than content to sit by his side and just be with him. It’s nothing out of the ordinary.

Your hand gets clammy and you think maybe Sirius doesn’t want to hold your hand. That maybe you’ve overstepped. You move your hand to let go and he squeezes you closer, never faltering in his conversation with everyone else. It seems natural.

You think you like it a little too much.

[ro-is-struggling]

Late Night Encounters || Sirius Black x Reader

This is part of my 600 followers celebration. The fic was requested by a lovely reader that wanted prompt 8 with Sirius Black: Character A and Character B are in a secret relationship and make the mistake of kissing in a place where there are security cameras. When they realize it, they struggle to avoid being discovered while wondering if anyone already knows, with Sirius Black. But, the setting isn’t hogwarts, but the reader’s house (she comes from a rather wealthy and famous muggle family, so there are security cameras in some parts of the house. And, the entire group is staying at her’s the reader during the holidays. Also because she lives alone with her governess because her parents have to keep traveling for work (doesn’t mean that they have a strained relationship). Also, could this one also end in smut? The governess is very chill and friendly though, and she doesn’t have to react in the typical angry and strict way, more like “I knew it” and sassy, comical way

Summary: Your parents made something very clear to you before they left for their business trip: your friends could stay at your house for the summer vacation, but you were forbidden from having parties, trashing the house or bringing boys up to your room. You should have known that having the marauders as friends would make that agreement much harder to honor than it was supposed to be. Especially when you had a little secret that complicated things even more. You and Sirius were dating, and keeping him out of your room for the entire summer was a task that proved impossible very quickly.

Warnings: modern au (there's modern technology cause the prompt needs it), SMUT MINORS DNI, characters are all of age, porn with plot, fingering, dry humping, cuming in pants, overstimulation, fluff, secret relationship, attempt at humor, fem!reader

English is not my first language

Notes: look I wasn't planning on making this one so smutty, it was supposed to be a fluffy, silly little one shot but I got carried away… AGAIN! Sorry, but there's more Sirius x reader sfw fics coming soon!

Before your parents left for work, they made something very clear to you: your friends could stay at your house for the summer break, but you were not allowed to throw parties, destroy the house or bring boys up to your room. You agreed, knowing that it would be difficult to meet their demands when your friends were none other than the marauders —famously known at Hogwarts for their ability to wreck everything in seconds. You assured them that all of you would be careful and that you would take the responsibility of house-keeping very seriously. You knew it would be stressful since your friends didn't take kindly to the word no, but you had no choice. Being a Muggle-born child meant being cut off from the magical world during the vacations and you missed it like crazy. Usually your friends would invite you over to their houses for a couple of days to hang out, but this time you wanted to return the favor. After all, you had a big, beautiful house that you could barely enjoy. 

As expected, Lily, Remus and Peter were the best behaved of them all, respecting your parents' rules and listening to your governess' warnings when things started to get out of hand. James and Sirius, however, were not so considerate. Their restless and curious nature was aggravated by the presence of so many Muggle objects that were completely foreign to them. It was a nightmare to have to keep an eye on them so they were off the radar of your governess, although you had to admit that it was fun to watch them get amazed by things that to you were as mundane as a computer or the cameras of the house security system. 

Although the worst came when Sirius snuck into your room after everyone had gone to bed. You were almost asleep, your body relaxed under the covers as you focused on the cool night breeze bumping against the window. You didn't hear him come in, but you felt the weight of his body next to yours as he lay down on the bed with you. Your sleep clouded mind didn't realize what was happening at first, you just recognized his voice and the scent of leather and tobacco that was distinctive to him and snuggled against him.

"I can't sleep alone knowing you're so close to me." He murmured against your neck, leaving a couple of kisses on your delicate skin. You sighed in pleasure, moving your head to give him better access to your sensitive area. You lost yourself in his kisses for a moment, enjoying the warmth of his body against yours.

But then your parents' words echoed in your mind and you jumped away from him, as if his lips were burning you. "Wait! You can't be here!" you panicked, sitting up in bed and turning on the light on the bedside table so you could look Sirius in the eye. "My parents are going to kill me if they find out I let you into my bedroom!"

"Relax! They're not here and everyone else is sleeping. No one saw me coming in." 

"What about the guys? I don't want them to find out about us this way."

"They're heavy sleepers and they've been snoring since the moment their heads hit the pillows." He assured you, settling in behind you as his hands gently massaged your tense shoulders. "Relax, no one's going to know I was here." You knew it was wrong, but you couldn't resist Sirius' charms. You didn't know how he did it, but he always managed to talk you into everything.

You relaxed under his touch, letting his hands caress your back. You let out a pleased sigh, feeling the warm tingle his fingers aroused on your skin. When he rested his lips on your neck again, spreading sloppy wet kisses, you had to bite your lip to keep from moaning. He knew exactly what to do and where to touch you to make you melt in his hands and he was definitely taking advantage of that. 

"Sirius, we can't." You muttered between sighs, your hand flying to the back of his head to hold him in place —an act that directly contradicted your words. "They'll hear us."

"Not if we're quiet." He said before nibbling on the sensitive skin of your neck as if he was trying to push you to make noise. "You think you can be quiet for me, love?" His warm breath collided against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. His voice, soft and low, was barely a husky whisper that went straight to your core. Your brain was screaming at you to refuse, but your body gave in to its desires as Sirius' hands began to massage your breasts, his fingers circling your nipples over the thin fabric of your pajama top.

"Yes," you finally said, throwing all caution out the window. "Please..."

Sirius chuckled at your sudden enthusiasm, a cocky grin creeping across his face. He planted a kiss on your lips before continuing, his tongue exploring your mouth expertly. There was nothing sweet or gentle about the way his lips moved over yours, only desire and desperation. It took your breath away and left you a little stupid, your mind clouded with anticipation. 

When he pulled away you whimpered and instinctively sought his lips, but he stopped you. He made himself more comfortable on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard, his legs on either side of yours. Then he pulled you against him, letting you rest your head on his shoulder while his hands roamed your body over your clothes. You could feel his semi-hard member against your ass, a cruel reminder of what you couldn't have.

Sirius took his time with you, kissing every inch of skin he could access as his fingers moved slowly down your body. It was as if he was daring you, as if he was seeking to push you to the edge of desperation on purpose. When his fingers finally touched you where you needed it the most, pushing your panties aside to sink into your wetness, you couldn't contain the moan that escaped your throat. Pure electricity coursed through your body as he drew gentle circles over your bundle of nerves, feeling the relief come closer with each movement of his hand over you. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to get lost in the pleasure, clinging to Sirius' arm as a way to keep yourself grounded.

However, the pleasure came to a sudden halt when he removed his hand from your center. You whimpered in protest and Sirius clicked his tongue in response. “I thought I told you to be quiet, love.” He chuckled against your ear, clearly enjoying being the one to cause your uncontrollable moans of pleasure.

"I'm sorry. I'll be good, I promise." You said, lifting your hips against his hand in a desperate attempt to feel some friction. “It just... i-it f-feels so good.” You pouted, frustration slowly replacing the pleasure. 

“Oh I know, love, I know.” Sirius wrapped his free arm around your waist, pressing you against his body and effectively stopping your desperate movements. You felt his hard cock against your ass, shuddering in his pants, as desperate for attention as you were. It made you think that this was a game that you both could. 

"I know it feels good, but I need you to be nice and quiet for me, love. 

You wouldn't want someone to hear us right now, would you?” You shook your head effusively.

“I'll be quiet, I promise.”

“Good girl.” He praised you before continuing his assault on your wet, desperate pussy. Only you were far from being a good girl. Because if you had to endure the torturous movement of his fingers over your center without being able to make a sound, it was only fair that he should suffer a little too. 

You began with slow thrusts of your hips, following the rhythm of his caresses in search of pleasure. And with each movement you made sure to brush Sirius's bulge with your ass. He was good at keeping his composure, though you could tell your plan was working by the way he increased the pace of his strokes. The arm around your waist was tense, unsure if he should apply more pressure to slow your movements or to feel you even closer to his cock. His kisses became sloppier and more desperate, teeth digging into the skin of your neck each time your ass was pressed directly where he needed it the most. 

But still, he didn't moan. His breathing was rapid and you could hear him muttering curses under his breath from time to time, but that wasn't enough for you. You wanted to hear him moan in pleasure, to have your name fall from his lips before his mind could stop him. So when he inserted a finger into your tight, warm hole, you took the opportunity to push your hips against his hand to fuck yourself with him. 

The new angle was as pleasurable for you as it was for him. Sirius's fingers were longer than yours, allowing him to easily reach that spongy place inside you that made your legs tremble. And as your pleasure increased, so did the movements of your hips, which became increasingly erratic and desperate. Wave after wave of pleasure flooded Sirius every time your ass pressed against him, bringing him closer and closer to the edge. 

“Fuck, baby, just like that.” He finally moaned, groaning loudly as you pressed yourself against him. A smile formed on your face, your pleasure clouded mind barely registering his words.

“I thought we were supposed to be quiet.” You teased him between shaky breaths. “You wouldn't want to get caught right now, would you?” Sirius smiled against your neck, enjoying your sudden arrogance more than expected. However, he wasn't about to let you win so easily. He took advantage of your distraction to slip a second finger inside you, pushing it into your velvety walls without giving you any warning. The teasing chuckle that escaped your lips turned into a loud moan, giving him the upper hand again. 

“Careful with your words, love, cause I can make things so much harder for you if you keep that attitude.”

“Do your worst.” 

You didn't know what you were getting into by challenging him like that. You innocently thought you would be able to take whatever he gave you, you just had to bite your tongue and let your competitive nature help you keep quiet just so you could prove to him that you could. But the pace at which he began to move his fingers took you by surprise. He was fast and hard, and somehow managed to push all the right buttons at once. Your body quivered under his grip, your hips moving desperately against his hand in an attempt to keep up with his rhythm. And when the knot in your stomach finally snapped you had to cover your mouth with your own hand to keep from crying out in pleasure, biting down hard on the skin to stifle your moans.

But the problem was that Sirius didn't stop. You were gushing, soaking the sheets beneath you and his fingers wouldn't stop their assault on your poor pussy. It was too much. The pleasure was so intense that it overwhelmed you, clouding your thoughts and leaving you a little dumb. Your whole body convulsed against him as his caresses set your nervous system on fire. You tried to close your legs to get away from his touch, at least until you had a chance to catch your breath and clear your thoughts, but Sirius slipped his legs under yours and used his knees to keep you open and exposed for him. 

The room filled with the wet sounds of your abused pussy mixed with the quickened breaths of both of you. Your clit was swollen and sensitive and every time Sirius' thumb brushed it your body twitched, letting out a whimper of desperation that was muffled by the palm of your hand. It was almost painful, but before you could ask Sirius to stop your second orgasm ripped through you, leaving you completely stupid.

Your mind stopped working as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through you. Your body fell limp over Sirius's, your weak and tired muscles unable to hold you up. He held you in his arms, whispering sweet nothings in your ear as you struggled to catch your breath. His fingers caressed your sweat-covered skin gently, giving you something to keep you grounded and bring you back to reality.

It took you longer than you expected to recover. Something as simple as opening your eyes felt like an impossible task since your body was exhausted. But when you finally did, you were met with Sirius' smile as he laid next to you. His head rested on one of his arms bent at the elbow so he could better admire you while with his free hand he gently caressed your cheek. You realized then that he had taken it upon himself to move you at some point without your brain registering it. 

“There you are!” He exclaimed in a hoarse whisper as he saw you open your eyes. “Are you alright?”

“Wonderful.” You replied with a satisfied smile and you both let out a giggle.

"I didn't go too far, did I?"

"Nope, you were great, don't worry." 

You remained silent for a few seconds, enjoying each other's company. You closed your eyes once more, seeking to escape Sirius' intense stare. It made you nervous and clouded your thinking. Though you opened them quickly when you realized that you were happy and satisfied but he probably wasn't.

“Give me a second to recover and I'll take care of you.”

“Oh that's okay, I already... humm...” Sirius muttered awkwardly. His eyes looked down and you mimicked his action, finding a wet spot on his pants. At first you thought you had done that, staining the fabric of his pajamas with your arousal. But then your slow brain processed his words.

Oh.

He had cum in his pants. 

And not only that, he had cum in his pants while pleasuring you. 

For some reason you found that incredibly hot and if you weren't so tired you'd go for a second round without a second thought. 

“What can I say?” he shrugged. “You were really hot squirming against me, trying so hard to keep those pretty sounds from scaping your mouth.”

“Shut up!” you exclaimed, suddenly embarrassed. He let out an arrogant laugh, but you forced him to shut up by locking your lips with his.

*****

You were awakened by the morning sunlight streaming through the windows. The house was quiet, only the sound of the clock resting on the bedside table could be heard. That told you it was early. You didn't even have to open your eyes to know that it wasn't worth getting up yet, so you adjusted your position in bed and settled back to sleep. 

That was, however, until you felt the weight of Sirius' body pressed against your back, his arms wrapping around you and pressing you against his chest instinctively as he let out soft breaths. He was asleep. Asleep in your bed after spending the night together, something that clearly violated the agreement you had made with your parents before they left on their trip. 

Your eyes suddenly opened wide, sitting up in bed with a jump. Sirius groaned beside you and you felt him tugging on your arm in an attempt to get you to go back to sleep. You pushed his hand back into place and shook him lightly to force him to open his eyes.

“Sirius, wake up! You need to leave, you can't be here.” You said in a whisper. He looked at you with sleepy eyes narrowed by the blinding light and you felt bad for having to wake him up. He looked adorable sleeping next to you, his long hair spread out on your pillow and his arms seeking the warmth of your body.

“Five more minutes.” He mumbled, closing his eyes once more and you almost gave in to his request. But you couldn't let your friends and parents find out about your relationship like this, so you insisted.

"No, c'mon! You need to get back in your bed before anyone wakes up."

You had to argue some more with a very tired Sirius, but eventually he agreed to get up. You walked him to the door, almost pushing him out of your room to make sure he did as you asked. He pouted, joking about your lack of hospitality and inconsideration in waking him so early after going to bed so late. You rolled your eyes, telling him to suck it up as a smile crept across your face.

“I don't even get a goodbye kiss?” Sirius insisted and you gave in, joining your lips with his in a quick kiss. 

You were so worried about making sure none of your friends caught you or that your governess would catch you breaking the rules, that it didn't even occur to you to think about the security camera in the hallway that had captured not only the kiss, but the moment Sirius had snuck into your room.

It wasn't until a couple of hours later, when everyone was enjoying a nice breakfast, that the thought popped into your mind. You were already panicking for no apparent reason, feeling that somehow all your friends knew what you had done last night. Sirius made sure everyone was asleep when he came back into the room, but still you had this horrible feeling that your secret was no longer a secret. It made you hyper-aware of your feelings for Sirius, making you overthink even the way you looked at him. It was ridiculous and probably more suspicious than your secret meeting the night before, but you had no way to command your shoulders to relax. 

And things got worse when you heard your governess mention something about security cameras. It was a casual and innocent comment, but your eyes grew wide as you realized what a fatal mistake you had made. You nearly choked on the juice you were drinking, earning a look of confusion and suspicion from the woman who had helped your parents with your upbringing for as long as you could remember. Remus patted you on the back, asking if you were all right. You thanked him for his concern with teary eyes, making an effort to control your reactions so as not to arouse further suspicion.

Though that turned out to be a more difficult task than you expected when you heard James ask about Sirius' mysterious absence during the night.

"I woke up at 3 a.m and you weren't in your bed. Were you playing pranks out there?" James' playful tone made you more nervous. He was looking at Sirius with a mischievous grin and a knowing look.

Your heart began to pound nervously as your gaze darted around the room, avoiding your friends' faces. You felt embarrassed, exposed. Somehow, they knew. They knew about your secret relationship. They knew about your naughty night. They knew you had been lying to them all this time and now they sought to torture you.

"Are you spying on me now, Jamie?" Sirius said with a mocking tone. He didn't seem at all affected by his friend's implications and you honestly didn't understand how he could be so calm.

"No, I'm just looking out for y/n. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate you breaking the rules and getting her in trouble with her parents."

James definitely knew something and Sirius had figured it out, it was clear in the way they looked at each other. You just hoped that he wouldn't say anything, especially not in front of your governess who came into the kitchen every now and then to make sure everything was in order. You knew then that you couldn't keep your relationship hidden for much longer. If James knew something, it was only a matter of time before the others found out too —if they didn't already know. But that wasn't the time or place to make the announcement, so you hoped James would keep his mouth shut.

"I'm sure Sirius wasn't doing anything bad." Remus interjected, seeking to put an end to the strange turn the conversation had taken. "Right, Sirius?"

"No I was not! If you have to know, I could sleep so I got up and went down to the kitchen to have a glass of water."

"Yes, James! What were you thinking accusing Sirius like that?" Lily interjected with a sarcastic tone. "He could never break the rules, that's not who he is!"

Everyone burst into laughter and, to your good fortune, the conversation shifted, now focusing on the many times that not only Sirius, but also the rest of the marauders had broken the rules. The light hearted discussion helped you to relieve some of the tension in your shoulders, momentarily forgetting that your secret was hanging by a thread. The existence of the security cameras in the hallway of your room was still lingering in the back of your mind, but you knew there was nothing you could do at that moment other than keep an eye on your governess to make sure she didn't go to the security camera control room. If you suddenly stood up at that moment or asked to speak to Sirius in private, everyone would suspect James was onto something. You doubted your governess would check the recordings anyway, so you allowed yourself to relax for a moment and enjoy your breakfast before you tackled the camera predicament.

"It's not a big deal!" Sirius played it down when you told him about the problem, staying with him in the kitchen while the others moved to the living room. "Do you really think she's going to watch hours of footage just to catch us breaking the rules?"

"She might! My parents left her in charge and they're pretty strict about this kind of stuff and I don't really want to listen to them talking about relationships and being safe ever again!" you said, remembering with horror the last time you had been caught making out with someone. That was an awkward moment you didn't want to go through again. Although you were of legal age according to magical terms, your parents had been very clear in telling you that you must obey their rules as long as you lived under their roof, which undoubtedly meant a lecture and probably some punishment if they ever saw that recording.

Sirius didn't think it was a big deal, but you dragged him with you to the security camera control room anyway. You didn't have a very elaborate plan to solve your problem, just erase the recording and play dumb if your governess ever figured out that something was wrong. You asked Sirius to remain at the door while you worked on removing all evidence of your clandestine encounter, tasking him with the job of making sure no one entered —using magic if necessary to distract your governess. However, he abandoned his post when he heard your confused exclamation.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked you with slight concern as he tried to look over your shoulder at the screen. All he could see was you strolling from folder to folder, clicking on different videos and closing them after a couple of seconds.

"It's gone!" mutter with confusion. The whole day's recordings were perfectly ordered, but when it got to the time of night you needed to delete, there was an inexplicable jump in time.

"What do you mean it's gone?"

"I mean there is no video! It's like someone already deleted it."

"That's good, right? No evidence!" You looked at Sirius with an unsure expression. Yes, it was good in theory. It meant there was no trace of your little encounter, but it raised other questions because security camera recordings didn't just disappear. They could fail and delete hours of footage, yes, but not in such a convenient way for you. No, that had to be done manually. And that only meant one thing.

"Are you looking for something?" Your guardian's voice startled you and you jumped out of your seat in front of the computer screen, not even closing the folders to hide your intentions.

"N-no, I, humm, we heard some weird noises last night and I wanted to check the cameras to see what it was." You managed to lie, though not very convincingly. Your governess looked at you with a raised eyebrow, a firm expression drawn on her face.

"Oh, I heard some noises too," she said and you felt your soul leave your body. You hoped she didn't mean what you thought she meant because you might die of embarrassment right there. "But it seems like something happened to the cameras because there is no video footage from around that time. It could be the work of some naughty little mice that must be running around the house messing up the power lines." She gave you a knowing look and you understood then that she had taken it upon herself to cover up your mistake.

"Oh, yeah, that could be it!" you played along, looking everywhere but her face. You couldn't hold her gaze when you knew she probably knew what you and Sirius had done. You felt so embarrassed that if a divine lightning bolt fell from the sky and pulverized you at that moment, you would thank the heavens for getting you out of such an awkward moment.

You mumbled a quick excuse so you could slip out of there, pushing Sirius out of the room before making your escape. But just when you thought you were free from the humiliation, you felt the hand of your governess close on your arm, forcing you to turn around and look at her.

"I would advise those two little mice to be more careful next time, they won't always be lucky if they keep it up." she winked at you and you could do nothing but nod before running off down the hallway, fleeing from her and the embarrassment you felt.

It was decided, you would never invite anyone to stay at your house for the summer ever again.

[fensherohair]

The Marauders & The Metamorphmagi (Part 4)

Words: 1.9k Warning: None

"What are you doing?" asked Remus, from his spot at one of the tables in the far corner of Gryffindor's common room. He'd been reading a random book when (Y/N) had attracted his attention. She appeared so innocent yet he knew that wasn't a word to describe the girl sitting on the floor near the fireplace. Lily and Marlene were on the sofa to her side, talking and minding their own business, although they would glance over to (Y/N) every now and again. (Y/N) had what looked like a cauldron in front of her, along with several ingredients, yet no potions book. 

"Experimenting" replied (Y/N), as she gently added something else to the bubbling liquid, leaning back just a little to avoid the slight poof that emanated from the cauldron. Remus shook his head and returned to reading, guessing the potion was either a way to cause chaos in the future or another attempt to create something new, similar to the fire powder the previous month. Isolde on the other hand simply chuckled at her dorm mate's antics, finding herself suddenly questioning why the sorting hat had chosen to place the metamorphic witch in Gryffindor rather than Ravenclaw. 

Silence soon returned, at least for a few minutes, before the ear-piercing shriek rattled through the tower. Allegra soon comes running down the stone steps from the girl's dormitory, holding the sparkly dress she intended to wear at some point over the year. The dress she had designated for date purposes. Isolde had turned away from her twin the moment she realized what the shrieking was about, whereas the others looked a mixture of confusion and startled. Sirius and James shared identical looks when entering the common room, before joining Remus at the table in the corner. Peter on the other hand had all but frozen in fear at the screaming, clearly not understanding what was going on but still terrified by the display and all the yelling. 

"You're fire powder works" called Sirius, putting the dusty book Remus had told him to find on the table. (Y/N) offered a small bit of laughter, upon seeing Sirius and James' hair alight. At the same time, it was obvious the pair had attempted to put the harmless flames out, only succeeding in changing the color. Sirius had managed to change the once purple flames to a silvery-blue, whereas James had turned his to a green any Slytherin student would be proud of. With a simple wordless wave of her wand, (Y/N) extinguished the flames, her mischievous grin remaining unmoved, as she and the rest of the common room ignored Allegra's continued yelling about her sequin dress being ruined. 

"Did you succeed in casting the Patronus Charm?" asked James, recalling returning from detention the last time, only to find (Y/N) attempting to cast the difficult spell. An advanced spell book was on the table before her. "I'd wager anything your patronus will be as crazy as you when you finally do conjure it" announced the brunette wizard, noticing Allegra had stopped yelling, apparently having noticed no one was paying her any mind, instead letting her exhaust herself and her voice. 

"You mean if she can cast it, it's advanced magic, most grown and trained witches and wizards can't cast it" rudely commented Allegra, as if her opinion was more important than others. James shook his head and several around the room shared similar expressions, as if wishing for Allegra's constant and unwanted drama to end, or at least hoping she'd eventually grow into a respectable witch rather than the troublesome one she was now. 

"When" replied Remus calmly, as if correcting Allegra. The muggle-born witch soon turned her attention to the smarter boy, noticing he hadn't even looked up from the book he was reading. Instead simply offered his correction without sparing her the time or curisy of his attention. "(Y/N)'s smart, she'll figure it out eventually. After the fire powder last month and whatever potion she's making up there. There's little doubt she'll succeed soon or later" he added. Recalling how quickly she'd worked out his secret, although she kept it to herself, instead sparing the time every full moon to help him, risking her own well-being and using her abilities to do so. 

"I'm the most powerful witch of our year" declared Allegra, as if attempting to remind others of her opinions once again and build up her lacking skills more than normal. "If I can't cast the spell, then no one else will be able to either" she continued, looking to the group of girls near the fireplace, as if trying to determine which was responsible for ruining her sequin dress. She had the idea to curse the one responsible, although she had yet to settle on which curse to use. 

"You can't even cast the reparo spell to fix your dress" voiced Isolde, reaching her wit's end with her slightly older twin. As an awkward silence fell over the common room, Isolde began to think of how much things had changed since both she and Allegra had received their acceptance letters and found out they were witches. Allegra had become more selfish and loud, doing all she could to gain as much attention as possible, even more so when she discovered she wasn't as special as she led herself to believe. Isolde on the other hand, felt as if she had finally found the world she belonged in, she'd found friends to understand her and had the added bonus of learning something new every day. There wasn't a day to go by over the past two years where something unusual didn't happen. 

Allegra felt offended that her once quiet twin had spoken up against her, to which she whipped out her wand and made a pitiful attempt at the bat-boggy hex, only for nothing to happen at all. Instead, James and Peter laughed at her, whereas Isolde simply looked on in confusion. The awkwardness was soon broken though, by the loud bang followed by the surprise yelp from (Y/N). Lily and Marlene quickly ran over to the window where (Y/N) had landed after being thrown backwards by the explosive potion, The ends of her hair shinged and her face slightly blackened from the explosion. 

Sirius and Remus joined the trio, both working together to pull (Y/N) back to her feet. Picking up when she winced in pain and held the back of her head. Isolde carefully used magic to clean up the mess the explosion had left behind, ensuring the cauldron was fixed and anything else caught in the blast was quickly repaired. As if annoyed by the sudden loss of attention, Allegra threw herself into a tantrum. Yelling for those in the common room to pay attention to her and stamping her feet. When that failed her, she picked things up from the nearest table and threw them at those around her. 

"Come on, let's get you to Madam Pomfrey" spoke Remus, with the help of Sirius leading the shell-shocked (Y/N) from the common room. The trio just managed to dodge a few books thrown at them by Allegra, as they left. "So which of you ladies got to the dress?" he inquired, once they were a safe distance from the portrait of the fat lady, quickly he glanced at both Sirius and (Y/N), the former being the only reason (Y/N) was still upright. 

"Isolde" revealed (Y/N), that she could still recall when the younger of the Smith Twins admitted to her actions, and why she'd done so. "She did it to avenge Marlene and help James get out of the date Allegra tricked him into" she added, noticing her hair had begun to change, slowly turning a dark shade of green. A shade many had come to associate with pain, as it wasn't unusual for her hair to change in accordance with her mood or how she was feeling at a particular time. 

"Well that would have beat James' idea" voiced Sirius, remembering the list of things James had written, all of them with the goal of getting out of the dreadful date with Allegra. There was everything from Quidditch Practice to resorting to giving the muggle-born witch frogs spawn soap. "So glad my comment in detention put me on the I hate you list" commented the pure-blood wizard, as the left the grand staircase and headed toward the corridor where the hospital wing was located. 

All three were sure by now one of the professors would have gone to investigate the source of the explosion and assess any damage. There was little doubt Allegra would still be throwing her customary tantrum and trying to hex those who ignored her. Just as the odds were James would be trying to gain Lily's attention now. Lily likely ignored him in favor of Isolde and Marlene as was normal, occasionally she'd mention her adventures around the school with Severus Snape, just to get on James' nerves. The conversation would no doubt spark a comment about dating from Peter, one that would horrify James again. 

"With luck my next experiment is less explosive than this one was" chuckled (Y/N), showing her curiosity hadn't been dampened by the explosion, although it had left her with the task of healing from any injuries and thinking of a name for the potion she'd created. Remus merely rolled his eyes at (Y/N)'s comment, suspecting there was little anyone could do to dissuade her curious mind. 

"Is there anything you can't do?" casually spoke Remus, the words falling from his lips before he had a chance to stop them. The moment they escaped he expected to see Sirius give him that look when someone asked a stupid question, the same one Peter had been on the receiving end of too many times to count. (Y/N) chuckled again before answering. 

"Staying out of trouble" she commented, answering the question with the truth. If she wasn't curiously experimenting with spells and potions, then she was causing chaos across the school, so much so that she became Pringle's nightmare and one of Peeves' favorite students. Several professors had since questioned how in the world she and Hunter were related. Hunter was intelligent, always keeping out of trouble and helping those who asked. He was a friend to all, many had said he would one day be head boy and prefect. 

(Y/N), on the other hand had a curious nature, there wasn't potion she wouldn't try and brew or a spell she wouldn't cast. Mischief was in her nature as was clumsiness. If she wasn't causing havoc around the school then she was experimenting with her abilities as a metamorphmagi or attempting to create a new spell or potion. There was no question she was intelligent, but that was often overlooked, especially with her pranks on fellow students, normally the Marauders and anyone who was unlucky enough to walk into the crossfire. 

"I'm still trying to work out how you can ace your classes, study, experiment with things, and still find time for mischief and Quidditch" voiced Sirius, recalling (Y/N) had successfully made it on the Gryffindor's Quidditch team along with James and Himself, all three in chaser positions. Soon enough the three entered the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey instructing Remus and Sirius to help (Y/N) onto one of the beds, before dismissing them for the time being. She quickly began to question her patient on what happened, if only to get a bet idea of what she was dealing with. 

Masterlist

[turvi]

Beauty and The Beast-3

Sirius started to behave a little bit for the following week. He was determined to prove to Y/n that he can be good. He is not just the mischievous and flirty Sirius everyone thinks he is. There is a sad boy in him that just needs a hug.

He honestly has no idea why he was making so much effort for her but she had captivated him. He would sit with Audrey and Ralph and just pick up random facts about Y/n and slowly he was falling for her more. He was getting to know a different side of this girl. If only she would talk to him. It seems like he has an idea of how he could make that possible

Y/n was in Transfiguration class taking notes when suddenly a flash of light distracted her. She looked out of the window to see Sirius Black holding a bouquet and a gift in his hand. He gestured to Y/n to meet outside of the class.

Y/n noticed Regulus Black was sitting in front of her. His jaw clenched as he saw his brother's antics. Y/n cleared her throat. "I see you two have quite opposite personalities". Regulus rolled his eyes "he is fine, he is just....Sirius". Y/n chuckled, she enjoyed Regulus' company a lot. They would often solve puzzles together and discuss conspiracy theories. She never thought that Regulus would be the kind of person who would be interested in conspiracy theories. He would say to her "they may not be true, but it doesn't hurt a soul to think that they might be."

"So why has your brother taken a sudden interest in me?" she asked Regulus who paused before replying "honestly y/nn? He is also one of the mysteries I have not been able to solve." Y/n simply nodded at his words when he turned around and added "he is not bad. Once he starts to care for someone, then he truly cares." With that, he went back to his work.

Y/n knew that the younger Black is a man of fewer words. He only speaks when he feels necessary. She didn't mind it gave her time to process what he said.

After the class was over Y/n spotted Sirius standing up smiling at her. Y/n was surprised that he waited for her patiently.

"I got to know you don't like going outside much. So if you don't mind I have planned a special date for us at Hogsmeade. Oh I also got a bouquet for you"

Y/n tried to bite back her smile. She couldn't help it, it felt like he had made a lot of effort for this.

"You didn't have to do all this"

"I didn't but I wanted to. You don't have to feel the same for me I just want to treat you with a nice date."

"Alright I will"

Sirius was ecstatic "great. You won't be disappointed darling. You know how to keep me on my toes."

Y/n shook her head as he winked at her and ran away but not before handing her the gifts he brought for her.

She opened the gift to find a camera. It wasn't just any camera, it was a movie camera. The kind her father used to own when she was a child but it was stolen when a burger broke into their home. She used to love to record videos even as a young child. Her eyes teared up looking at the camera. She felt like 8-year-old Y/n again, recording shaky videos of her parents.

She didn't know that Sirius was hiding in the corner looking at her reaction, watching her smile. For him, this is his greatest achievement to make his girl smile. She is not his girl yet but he knows she will be......soon hopefully.

Sirius walked through the Hufflepuff common room wearing a tuxedo. The students couldn't take their eyes off him, they were seeing him in that attire for the first time. Even Sirius couldn't remember when was the last time he wore a tuxedo but this occasion was so special he wanted to dress up nice. He was treating his girl.

Y/n came out of her dorm wearing a purple dress that she made sure hid her body well. Sirus watched in awe as she stood in front of him. Sirius had a flash of imagination of him waiting for her like this at the wedding altar ready to be hers forever. Sirius shook his head. He barely managed to get one date and he is already thinking of marriage. Maybe Remus was not wrong to assume that Sirius is whipped for her

"You will not regret this. This day will become your core memory." Sirius looked at Y/n with determination and love. She couldn't help but smile a bit. She couldn't believe her childhood crush dressed up and planned a date just for her.

Sirius extended his hand "shall we go my love?" Y/n placed her hand in his. He looked into her eyes and kissed her hand. Sirius looked down where his hand met hers. He smiled when she didn't let go of his hand. He squeezed her hand gently. Their night had just started and Sirius didn't want to end it.

As they walked Sirius led her to Hogsmeade. It was quite late and the crowd was sparse. Y/n looked at him and finally asked.

"How did you do this?"

Sirius teased "you have to be a bit specific doll"

"The camera. How did you know about that"

Sirius shrugged with pride "I have been talking with your best friend. Convinced her I have no intention of hurting you. In fact, if you don't want to see me after this night I will still be ok because this night is just so special no one can take this from me."

Y/n smirked, "not even me?"

He shook his head, and his smile got wider "not even you doll"

Held kissed the back of her hand. He felt like he won a prize when he saw her smile and blush. He thinks maybe he does have a chance.

Sirius looked around and Hogsmeade was now empty. He took Y/n towards the empty street in the Hogsmeade that he had decorated with the help of the marauders. He knew that Hogsmeade will be empty by this time and it would be just him and Y/n. Before they reached the spot he stopped Y/n.

"Ok close your eyes no peeking"

Y/n closed her eyes. Sirius waved his hand in front of her. She smiled "you will have to lead me wherever this spot is I can't see."

Sirius smirked, "how many fingers am I holding?"

"uh...ten thousand and 1"

"hardy har really funny Y/n " he looked at her he could feel himself blushing. He shook his head and gently took her forward to a secluded street where he had set up a table that was surrounded by fake candles and flowers.

"Ok you can open your eyes now"

Y/n opened her eyes. It looked so beautiful under the moonlight. She noticed a picnic basket on the table.

"Yeah I was going to put real candles around here but Remus told me it could be a dangerous idea."

"I love it"

Sirius' heart was beating fast. He kissed Y/n's hand again and led her to the table. He made a mental note to thank his best friends again for helping him set up this lovely date.

Sirius decided to open up a bit with Y/n. The more he is truthful with her the more she will trust him.

He didn't go into much detail just his likes and dislikes and noticed how Y/n was listening to him carefully. He tried not to giggle when whenever he caught her smiling at him.

"So I am guessing someone broke your heart?" he said breaking a comfortable silence.

"How did you know?"

"Well you would not have been so insecure if someone showered you with compliments regularly"

She nodded "well you are right, I loved someone for a long time, and he gave me a lot of missed signals, and there were rumors of him dating someone else, I approached that girl she said oh it's nothing like that you can go ahead and tell him your real feelings, the next day his friend come up to me and tells me that my crush wants me to stay away and the girl started dating my crush" she said not knowing if it made sense or not but Sirius immediately held her hand.

"You didn't deserve that"

"I didn't mind her dating him of course I was heartbroken because I have had feelings for him for a long time but still she could have told me this instead of embarrassing me like this. I was not even angry at them just disappointed."

After a few seconds, she spoke again "thank you for the camera I loved it. It was very thoughtful of you"

Sirius smirked "I just want to see my girl smile"

After their dinner, Sirius took her hand. He pulled her closer to him and started to dance.

"Sirius there is no music playing" Y/n giggled

"So what we have the moonlight, the empty Hogsmeade street and I have you so what else do I need?"

She shook her head "You are going to need help to clean up after our date. The table is in the middle of the road"

"oh don't worry about that you enjoy this night"

"Still if you need help, I will help"

Sirius smirked at her and brought her closer "I know you are scared to love me. But give me a chance and I will be the best lover you had"

Y/n nodded "Ok"

Sirius' grip tightened around her waist "Say it. Say you are mine and I will be yours"

Y/n blushed "I am yours"

Sirius smiled and kissed her like there is no tomorrow. Y/n was surprised but she kissed him back. He held her tightly not wanting to let go of her.

Sirius had made another mental note. To love this girl like she has never been loved before. As they parted his smile got wider and he kissed her again. He finally backed away when he made sure she got breathless.

"Just wanted to remind you what my love looks like for you. Like I said y/n you will not regret your decision."

@i-amtitania

Part-4?

A/N: I am late. This is probably shit but eh. REBLOGS AND FEEDBACKS APPRECIATED

[randommultifandomrants]

Being a girl is: wanting to go to bed early but deciding to just get on tumblr/wattpad/Ao3 for a little bit and then end up finding a fic series that you really like and read until well past your usual bedtime then keeping on because it’s already past your bedtime. Then being mad when you wake up in the morning because you overslept your timer.

[cruel-seduction]

It’s like a full-blown addiction, but instead of drugs or booze, it’s this fictional guy who’s got her wrapped around his finger. She knows it’s fucked up—knows she’s out here daydreaming about someone who’s not even real—but who cares? This guy? He’s everything. He’s charming in the worst ways, flawed in every possible sense, but there’s just something about him that has her hooked. He doesn’t even know she exists, but she’s ready to fight anyone who says a word against him. Seriously, she’ll defend his honor like it’s a fucking life-or-death mission.

He’s a goddamn trainwreck, but he’s her trainwreck. She’ll put up with all his baggage, his emotional scars, his dark sides, because somehow, that brokenness makes him feel more real to her than any real guy could. He’s messed up, but she’ll fix him in her head every single time. Maybe it’s that thrill of knowing he’s dangerous and untouchable that makes him even more irresistible. He might break her heart in a hundred ways, but it’s the kind of heartbreak that makes her feel alive, even if it hurts like hell.

And it’s never gonna happen, right? She knows that. He’s not gonna waltz into her life and sweep her off her feet. But it doesn’t matter. Because she gets to have him on her terms—no messy reality, no awkward first dates, no risking her heart for real. He’s always there when she needs him, in that perfect little bubble of fantasy she’s built for herself. And maybe she’s a little crazy for it, but at least with him, she’s never disappointed. Every time she replays his scenes, reads the fanfics, imagines their future together—it's like a high she can never quite shake. She knows it's all just a mindfuck, but she’s never felt more alive.

[luveline]

Jade can I please get a chatty af yapper sunshine girlfriend with Sirius?? Like May be someone tells her she talks a lot so she's super quiet around him cuz she's worried he'll get annoyed and break up with her but poor Sirius he misses his chatty girl and just angst with fluff

thank you for requesting! fem, 1.4k

James Potter means well. Honestly, you don’t think he has a mean bone in his body, so you try not to take it to heart. 

Unfortunately, your attempts to do so don’t work. They really, unquestionably don’t. By the time you’re outside of Sirius’ flat that afternoon, James’ small comment is all you can think of. 

“You’re so chatty I’m surprised you don’t run out of breath,” he’d said. Not without love. You’d bumped into him in Sainsbury’s and ended up talking for ages about one thing or another, you know him well, you’d even say you were friends, though he’s of course Sirius’ friend rather than your own. “But I’m the same. God, Sirius used to hate how much I talked, he’d be sick of me. I think I numbed him to it over the years.” 

You can’t imagine it. Sirius and James are best friends. With Remus, they’re the most in love threesome of friends you’ve ever met, and it’s nice; it makes you very proud to have a boyfriend who cares for others as deeply as Sirius cares for them. It’s like a constant demonstration of how he’s a good man. 

But you’d never stopped to consider that they weren’t always so seamless, and you’ve regrettably never considered that your constant talking is something that could put him off. 

You talk to Sirius about everything. There isn’t a word to describe the excitement of having someone waiting to listen to you every single night. You could tell him every detail of a day down to what colour socks you wore and you know he’ll sit there listening with his hand on the small of your back, or his fingers twined between yours. You’ve never felt so loved as to be able to just talk about everything and have him talk back. 

But… what if, this whole time, he’s been wishing for a little bit of quiet? 

What if eventually, the talking becomes too much? 

He must be with you for a reason. You aren’t holding the poor guy hostage, he acts like he’s mad for you ninety percent of the time (while the other ten percent is spent sleeping on your shoulder). 

Like now —you knock his door and you can hear him scrambling up from the sofa, the sound of a book dislodged or a remote hitting the rug, you’re not sure. The door yanks open and Sirius smiles at you, pulling you in through the gap with a familiar hand on your hip. 

“Hey,” Sirius says, tucking you against his side, “hey, did you get lovelier over the weekend?” He shoves the door closed and gives you a hug with one arm, pausing in the hall. “Sorry I couldn’t see you. I don’t think we should miss another weekend.” 

You have a lot to tell him. It’s been ages since you spent nearly three days apart, but James’ conversation stays at the front of your mind. 

You decide to be less overwhelming, but not less loving, curling your arm behind his head to pull his cheek down for a kiss. “I don’t think so, either.” 

Sirius tilts his head away from you in an invitation for more kissing. 

You’re at home in his flat. You take off your shoes and hang up your jacket. You change into a pair of jogging bottoms with loose legs and let him hoist you onto his bed for a few stolen kisses, though he isn’t propositioning you, and you end up laying across his bedspread with one of your legs in his lap as he tells you about his days without you, his thumb sliding with pressure down your calf. 

“Mostly I wished I’d asked you to come over anyways, even if it was just to sleep together at the end of the day. Maybe next time we can do that?” he asks. 

“Of course we can.” You smile at him indulgently. “I’d come over for twenty minutes if it was all I could get.” 

“Or I can come to you,” he says, “even if it’s just twenty minutes.” 

He smiles, a beaming thing, and leans down slowly for a soft kiss. 

“So,” he asks, his breath on your lips, “how was your weekend? Lonely?” 

“So lonely,” you tease lightly, eyes fluttering closed as he continues his massaging of your leg. “But it was okay. I missed you, really, and didn’t do much else.”

“No?” he asks. 

Your voice takes on a shine as he squeezes your knee, “Missed your hands.”  

“I missed your everything.” He grabs for your forearms and pulls you into a sitting position. “But everything was okay?” he asks more seriously. 

“Everything was fine.” 

He raises his eyebrows, but eventually lets them relax. “Well, okay. Good, sweetheart, I’m glad it was okay.” 

He persuades you into the kitchen to sit with him as he makes dinner, refusing to let you help, and yet insisting you be there in the same room, as though you’d like to be anywhere else. Sirius makes your favourite of his usual rotation, offering you spoonfuls for tasting, gaps of silence stretching as he struggles to find new conversation. You start answering his questions but remember time and time again that Sirius could become totally sick of you. He might already be. 

Sirius puts the food on a low heat and washes his hands. He wipes them dry, but when he takes your face, dampness lines the inside of his fingers. 

“I’d like for you to tell me what’s wrong,” he says gently, stroking at the line of your startled frown, “before it gets worse. Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Nothing’s wrong.” 

“Please don’t, lovely. If I’ve done something wrong, please tell me. I want us to last forever, and we can’t do that if you won’t tell me when I upset you.” 

“It wasn’t you,” you say instinctively, then regret it. 

“So someone has?” he asks, still so gentle as his hands coast down your neck like he’s sculpting you, coming to rest on the slopes leading to your shoulders. “You can tell me anything. You don’t have to keep it to yourself… please.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Sweetheart.” He frowns deeply. Couldn’t look more upset. “Of course I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” 

You chew it over, not wanting or willing to cause ructions between Sirius and his oldest friend. “Well, I saw James today at the shop, and… we were talking about you…” 

He waits. “And?” 

“And he told me you– you don’t like talking. That you didn’t like talking, that James used to make you sick of it. So I know I talk too much and you’ve never made me feel like I shouldn’t, but I guess I got into my head thinking you’d get sick of me, too.” 

“When we were younger I didn’t like much of anything.” He curls an arm behind your neck to hold you in place, but it’s not a dominant sort of movement, only protective as your noses inch together. “Did you ever read that poem by Bukwoski? Let It Enfold You?” 

“What?” 

“I’m not very good at explaining myself. I thought if you knew the poem, you’d–” He laughs near your cheek. “I hated everything. It wasn’t James’ fault. He did make me sick of it sometimes, but I just wanted to hide from everything.” He breathes out slowly. “I’ve never wanted to hide from you. I can’t get sick of you. Do you get that? I can’t get sick of you. Listening to you is the best part of my day, you’re my personal chatterbox.” 

“Chatterbox,” you repeat teasingly. 

“You could talk for Wales,” he says. “And I love it, I don’t want you to stop, because I’ll never be sick of it.”

“I don’t want it to be some secret resentment.”

“I don’t resent you for anything. I knew exactly who you were when we met and I love it.” He takes your face again. “I love it,” he repeats. 

You steal a little kiss against the corner of his lips. “What was the poem?” you ask. 

“I’ll find my book, and you can read it to me. What do you think?” He takes a slow kiss as you had in the same place, words like honey. “I miss your voice.” 

He’s basically pleading. It’s not like Sirius to plead, but you pull it out of him. 

“Can I have my dinner first?” 

“The one I made while you deprived me?” he asks. “Yes, if you must.” 

He takes another kiss, but you’re happy to give it. 

[moonstruckme]

hi my love i’m obsessed with all your works and this is my first request!

poly! marauders and cuteness aggression. like maybe reader coming home a bit tipsy from girls night and just seeing her boys and losing it. grabbing remus’ face and just kissing all over his cheeks, gnawing on james’ biceps and playing with sirius’ hair or tracing his tattoos.

Hi lovely, thank you for requesting!

cw: alcohol

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 589 words

You leave a trail of things down the hallway that you swear you’ll pick up in the morning. Your bag, both shoes, your jacket. There’s no time to put any of it in its proper place, not when you know your boyfriends are all cozy and waiting for you in your bed. Everything else is secondary. 

The moment you get your eyes on them, it’s already too much. Remus is reading while Sirius chats to a nearly-asleep James, and you don’t know whether to scream or hug them or burst into tears. One feels more socially acceptable than the rest. 

A grin spreads over Sirius’ face as you crawl clumsily up the bed, so you go to him first. 

“Hi, baby.” You smear a kiss over his lips, burrowing your hands in his lovely, silken hair. It smells like his conditioner, smokey and heady and just slightly sweet. You wish you could snort it up into your nose like a drug. 

“Hi, baby,” Sirius says back at you, amused. “Did you have a good night?” 

“No,” you lament, though you think you might have enjoyed it at the time. 

Impulsively, you move to Remus, clambering across James to get on your quietest boyfriend’s lap. He’s already set down his book, so there are no barriers to your whims as you take his face between both hands, squishing his cheeks up and kissing them all over. You think you can hear the other boys laughing somewhere beyond your lovesick haze. Remus’ skin grows warmer with each ardent press of your lips. 

“None of you were there,” you go on. It’s impossible to articulate the full extent of this injustice. “You were here, being so lovely and perfect and lovely without me.” 

“That’s lovely twice.” Remus seems to recover somewhat from your surprise attack. His hand comes to rest in the middle of your back, a touch just for touch’s sake. “How much have you had, dove?” 

You make a petulant, whiny sound, burying your face in his neck. There will never be enough of them, your lovely boyfriends. Or maybe it’s that they’re enough, but you just can’t get enough. Regardless. You’re doomed to remain just on the brink of satisfaction. 

“Enough to know that I missed you a lot,” you say pitifully. 

“Awe, babydoll.” James’ laughter is at odds with his compassionate tone. “Come here, m’love.” 

This sounds like a grand idea to you. You wish they’d simply all squish together so you could lay your affections on them one by one, in rounds. 

James puckers his lips as you approach, readying for a kiss, and so is taken entirely aback when you forgo his face entirely. 

“Oh, well,” he says as you suck a hickey on his bicep. “I feel properly objectified.” 

You’re too pleased with yourself to be sorry. He flexes playfully, eliciting a string of giggles from you as you latch on tighter. 

“Do you think she’s been drugged?” you hear Remus ask. 

“Dunno.” James’ tone is fond. His big hand lands on the back of your head. 

“No, I sort of get it,” says Sirius. The mattress dips slightly, and then you feel him plant a wet kiss on your shoulder. “You just need to get it out of your system, yeah, sweetness?” 

You hum in affirmation. You wrap your arms around James’ middle, squeezing tight. 

“I love you so much,” you mumble into his skin. “I’m gonna kill you.” 

Your boyfriend’s frame rumbles with laughter. “Okay, lovie,” he says indulgently. “You go right ahead.”

[ellecdc]

The Bolter

Sirius Black x fem!reader who meet again [5.5k words]

prompt: poly!wolfstar or just Sirius x reader in which they were friends with benefits but it was obvious they loved each other even though they acted like they weren’t. Then, reader finds out shes pregnant and before telling them, they do something stupid. so reader runs away for a few months. When she comes back (only bc she had to for some reason) shes like 6-7 months pregnant

CW: secret pregnancy, angst, FWB to strangers to lovers, second chance fic, post war trauma, both Sirius and reader are meeesssssssssssyyyyy in this! I don't approve of what they've done but I understand it

“So…she’s coming back?” Sirius asked cautiously, focusing more on the condensation pooling on the coaster underneath his pint than the concerned gazes of his two best friends. 

“Well, I don’t know if she’s coming back, but she’ll be here for Harry’s birthday.” James mollified, sharing a nervous look with Remus.

“Right.” Sirius murmured around a swallow; throat tight and dry though neither the pint nor the pitcher of water in front of him looked as though they’d be able to help him with the matter. 

“Are you going to be alright?” Remus queried, and Sirius offered him the most arrogant scoff he could muster; he missed by a long shot.

“Of course I’m going to be alright.” He huffed. “Why? Can’t two friends see each other after five and a half months of silence?” 

“Sirius-” James started, but Sirius carried on. 

“She’s the only one who’s been silent, you know?” Though he knew that they did indeed both know. “I’ve tried. I’ve tried reaching out.” 

“Pads.” Remus offered consolingly, looking frustratingly like he was going to reach a hand out to Sirius as if he were some over tired toddler on the brink of a meltdown.

“Stop, no I- I’m fine, honest.” He insisted as he took a steadying breath. “I- you… talked to her, then?”

James and Remus shared another look before James allowed the segue. 

“Mostly by owl, but she has spoken on the phone with Lily a few times.” 

Sirius nodded as he considered this; considered the number of owls Sirius had sent that had gone unanswered - perhaps even unopened if the silence meant anything at all.

“She’s…okay?” 

Remus let out a sigh as he shot Sirius a tight smile that looked more like a grimace. “She’s…vague.”

“She doesn’t share a whole lot.” James agreed. “Says she’s fine, things are good. Mostly asks about…all of us, Harry.” 

“She’s still staying with that great aunt,” Remus added, “helping her with the property.” 

“She seeing anyone?” There was no point in pretending that wasn’t the most pressing matter in Sirius’ mind; of course it was. And as angry and bitter as the idea made Sirius, it would have been his own fault, his own doing. He had no one to blame but himself. 

And he’d have to live the rest of his life knowing he was the one who let you slip away - pushed you away - right into the arms of someone else. 

“Not that she’s mentioned.” Remus responded honestly; he couldn’t say for sure that you weren’t, but if you were, you clearly hadn’t said anything about it. 

“Right.” Sirius offered shortly. 

“Pads, I…we would understand if it's too hard for you to see her. If you can’t come-”

“Don’t be daft.” Sirius scoffed deploringly. “I’m not going to miss my godson’s birthday. If anyone should be missing it, it should be her; I’ve been here for the past four and a half months, she’s the one who fucked off for good.”

“Sirius-”

“I don’t understand why you had to invite her!” Sirius shouted then, startling even himself when he realised how breathless he sounded all of a sudden. 

James smiled at him sadly; Sirius wished he’d stop doing that. “We wanted all of Harry’s uncles and his aunt to be there, Sirius…it’s important, yeah? We…we almost didn’t get this chance.”

Sirius could feel a wicked migraine coming on; between talking about you, the close calls and the fact that the group of you were all alive following the war by nothing but chance, and the fact that the person Sirius was most angry with was himself, he downed the rest of his pint and flagged the server in favour of having to look at the pitiful gazes being shot at him by Remus and James.

Sirius couldn’t tell if he was eager for Harry’s second birthday or dreading it. But like it or not, Sirius was going to be seeing you again. 

It had felt like a good idea at the time.

It felt beyond foolish now, but it had felt like a good idea at the time. 

*ೃ༄.ೃ࿐

“Sirius, we just won. We just won, why do you have to leave now?” You practically begged as you followed Sirius through his flat. 

“Because if I don’t get out now, I’m going to be stuck here for eternity.” He all but spat at you as he shoved articles of clothing into his duffle rather haphazardly. You felt like grabbing the bag from him and folding them properly if the act wouldn’t leave you feeling like you were aiding and abetting his abandoning you.

“But what about James? And Remus? What about Harry? You fought this war for them, and they for you - we just got them back!”

“And they’ll be here when I’m ready to come home!” Sirius shouted; turning to look at you with wild, red rimmed eyes. 

“What about me?” You asked quietly, hating how small you sounded.

“What about you?” He asked; face falling painfully neutral. If you didn’t know better, you would have thought he was occluding. 

“I…I don’t know.” You started awkwardly, shrugging one shoulder. “I thought…maybe we’d have a chance now. To try?.”

“Y/N.” Sirius sighed as he rubbed harshly at his eyes; entire being oozed exhaustion at having to have this conversation with you. “Have I not been entirely clear about what this was between us?” 

“Right.” You agreed quickly, biting roughly on your lip and looking anywhere but at him as he let his hand fall away from his face. 

“It’s…it’s not you, doll-” but even your humourless scoff didn’t derail him “I’m not the kind to settle down and be content I- I wouldn’t be enough for you.”

“I’m not asking you for any more than what we have, Sirius-”

“Yes you are.”

“-I just want you to stay.”

“That’s too much for me.” He stated; his voice never raised though he may as well have screamed it at you. “I cannot sit here and play house, I cannot be that guy for you.”

“Cannot or will not?” You asked quietly, regretting the question the second it came out of your mouth and he looked at you with nothing but pity in his eyes. 

“Y/N…”

“I’m sorry I asked.” You let out with a chuckle as you harshly wiped tears from under your eyes. 

“It’s…it’s not forever, yeah? I just…I can’t see myself being happy here…not right now, at least; not for a while.” 

“Where will you go?” Your voice grated painfully as it came out, but you tried to keep an air of nonchalance about you. You wouldn’t look at him, but you could see his shoulders shrug helplessly. 

“I don’t know…everywhere. Anywhere.”

Anywhere was better than stuck here with you, apparently. 

“I hope it’s nice, wherever it is.” You offered, and you found that you meant it. As much as it hurt to say, you really, really meant it. Sirius had been fighting and running his entire life, and he finally won. If he wanted to celebrate his victory by taking off to be that rich, vague uncle who popped by with lavish gifts every so often, who were you to deny him? 

You loved him.

You were in love with him.

You loved him enough to let him go. 

*ೃ༄.ೃ࿐

He had sent James a postcard a few weeks later. Turns out he started in the South of France; his family had a home there that had been left untouched by the war, and Sirius was going to start by figuring out what to do with the property. 

And you? Well, you found out you were pregnant. 

You suppose it was a small mercy that Sirius wasn’t here to know; you’re sure it would have hurt more hearing him tell you he was leaving if there were two of you he couldn’t find it in him to love. You would have hated it even more if he felt trapped into staying with you just for this.

But all this meant was that you couldn’t stay, either. 

You supposed that was alright, though; the life you wanted to build here was with Sirius. You loved your friends, but you had a little one to think about now, too. 

You made up a story about a great aunt needing help tending to her property and wishing to be closer to your relatives now that you could be, now that it was safe. No one questioned it, likely because Remus had done the same following the war; moving back home to help his dad and ailing mother tend the property in whatever ways he could. 

You found yourself a little cottage, you wrote to the boys and had the occasional phone call with Lily, and you grew.

It had felt like a good idea at the time. 

But now you were almost six months pregnant and returning home for the first time since you moved to celebrate your nephew’s birthday with all of your closest friends, the love of your life whose child you were carrying, and none of them knew. 

You wondered if you should even go, but the thought of missing out on sweet Harry’s second birthday that the lot of you almost never got the chance to see made your throat constrict with tears you refused to shed since the war. 

You wondered if you should tell everyone before you arrived, but the thought of them all discussing you and your pregnancy without you being there left you feeling small and ashamed. 

You wondered if you should tell Sirius, but you looked over at the stack of unopened letters he had sent to you in the past four months - the first thin, perhaps a postcard, the second and third were thicker, the fourth was by far the thickest (like he had drafted an autobiography that he wanted you to proofread for him), the fifth was similar to the second, whilst the sixth (the last) couldn’t be more than one page - and wondered how the hell you’d even start that conversation after all this time.

Hey, remember me? Yeah, the bird who caught feelings during our friends with benefits situation that we both agreed would remain platonic amidst a battle for survival and then begged you to stay with no success? Well, whilst you’ve been off probably shagging every beautiful woman across the British Isles, I’ve been pregnant. Right, with your child. How was France, by the way? 

You swallowed around your gag reflex and groaned at your image in the mirror. You put on a pair of gingham pants with the baggiest band-tee you could find, planned on sucking in the best you could if anyone (when everyone) insisted on a hug and hoped to every deity that they all just assumed you’d been eating really well since the end of the war. 

You smoothed the fabric over your bump one last time before you left - looking at the proof that, if nothing else, you were protecting more than just yourself, and you let that be enough - before you grabbed Harry’s birthday present and called for Potter Manor, throwing a fistfull of floo powder into your fireplace and travelling by way of the flames. 

You could hear Harry squealing in delight in one of the adjacent rooms as you stepped into the floo reception room at Potter Manor; a smile taking over your face uninhibitedly at the sounds of the people you loved more than life itself, happy and celebrating.

How could you have gone so long without this? 

“Y/N!” Lily shrieked as she made for you, and you sucked in before returning her hug. “Merlin, you're glowing! Where’s your aunt's place again?” 

“Erm. Killarney.” You offered; not entirely untrue - you did have an aunt in Killarney. 

“Well,” she let out with a breath, eyes turning a touch glassy as they darted across your face, “it seems that Irish air’s been for you.” 

You smiled back at your friend before pulling her back in for another hug. “I’ve missed you, Lils.”

“Don’t let it go so long next time, yeah? We can come to you, too; I’m teaching James how to be a muggle, and Harry’s only had the odd burst of accidental magic yet. We could play the part in front of your aunt.” 

“I’d love that, Lily.” You responded earnestly. 

“Y/N!” James hollered then before you were being bodily tackled by the former quidditch chaser, a brief flash of anxiety at his hold around your stomach abating only when he relinquished his hold on you. “Where in the sodding hell have you been!?”

“Killarney.” Lily answered for you. 

“I love Killarney!” 

“Have you ever been to Killarney, Prongs?” Remus asked then, appearing in the door as he leaned against the archway. 

“No! But I love it there! I just know it!” 

“Hey Moony.” You greeted, quickly accepting his open arms and breathing him in.

“We’ve missed you.” He murmured into your hair, and you couldn’t help the traitorous hitch in your heart that he might’ve meant-

“Uncle Pafoo!” Harry squealed, suddenly standing right underneath you. 

“That’s right, Haz!” The voice that haunts your dreams called out. “Auntie is here!”

“Hullo, Harry!” You cheered as you picked him up, sucking in before settling on your hip. “Happy birthday, little dude.” 

“Am two!” He announced as he held up four fingers. 

“You are two! Way to go!” You laughed. “Is everyone here?” You asked the room, shooting Sirius a tight smile so you couldn’t be accused of hostility when your heart stuttered for an entirely different reason. 

He looked tired - a bone deep tired that no amount of sleep could rectify - and the bags under his eyes seemed to be chronic. But he was still so beautiful; his hair had grown slightly longer since the last time you’d seen it, the last time you’d run your fingers through it, the last time you’d brought sheers to it, and he donned more than a few new tattoos if the few you could see were enough to go by. 

You had to look away.

“Reg’s going to be by after work; his part-time student called in sick so he needed to be there to close the shop himself. Thankfully, they’re only open in the morning on Sunday’s.” Remus explained kindly.

“Good, it’ll be nice to see him.” You offered, and the room fell slightly awkward.

“Uncle Pafoo, aeroplane?” Harry asked then, and whatever exhaustion seemed to be plaguing Sirius vanished as he beamed at his godson. 

“Absolutely, little man!” He agreed, holding his arms out and taking Harry’s weight from you.

“Do you want something to drink, Y/N? Wine? Beer, Cider? Juice? Water?” James rapid fire, causing Lily to groan. 

“We just got her back, Potter. Do try to control yourself.” 

“Water would be great, Jamie. Thank you.” You laughed, following the group into the open concept kitchen-to-living room. 

Save the fact that you and Sirius seemed to be doing acrobatics to avoid each other, you were almost stunned at how easy and natural being back here felt. Regulus returned and the two of you shared friendly jibes, Lily caught you up on all of the drama at the Ministry, James strong armed you into agreeing to join them for their next pub quiz night, and Remus said that your old professors all wished you well. 

You loved your cottage - the home you’d built for yourself and your little one - but you found yourself feeling homesick for here, and you hadn’t even left yet.

You were leaning on your elbows against the kitchen island, watching Sirius and Regulus pretend to be knights in shining armour as they fought off a fire breathing dragon (Harry) to save the princess (James) when Remus appeared beside you and mirrored your stance. 

“It’s not the same without you, you know?” He murmured then. 

“But they seem to be alright.” You responded simply, and Remus allowed the two of you to fall into silence for a few beats.

“How far along are you?” 

You stood up straight and turned to stare at him in horror, only to see him smiling kindly at you. 

“How do you-”

“Lycanthropy - I could smell it on you.” He said with an embarrassed wrinkle of his nose. “I knew Lily was pregnant before she did.”

You shushed him and looked over your shoulder to ensure no one else could hear you.

“Come.” He said with a sigh, gently taking you by the elbow and ushering you out of the sliding doors to the back yard and closing it behind the two of you. 

“Remus-”

“Is it his?” He cut you off; his face held no judgement though perhaps just a touch of concern. For you or his best friend/virtual brother-in-law, you weren’t sure.

“Yes.” You whispered, not bothering to clarify who he was talking about; you both knew. 

Remus simply nodded as he looked you over. “Is that why you left?”

“He left first.” You hissed petulantly.

“He left you, but you left all of us.” Remus countered somewhat sternly. “Besides, I didn’t ask about him; is this why you left?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” 

“Because, Remus!” You shouted, tears flooding your vision as you turned to look at him. “Because he didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want me. I wasn’t going to force him to come back just because… just because.” 

“Don’t you think he should have been able to make that choice for himself?” Remus asked gently.

“He chose! He did choose! He told me he couldn’t play house, he told me he couldn’t be this person for me. I loved him enough to accept that. I loved him enough to let him go.”

“Loved?” Remus asked with a tilt of his head. “Past tense?” 

“Remus.” You groaned. “Please.”

“He came back for you, you know.” Remus pointed out. “He left you, you left us, but he came back for you.” 

“Stop it.”

“It’s true, Y/N.”

“And so what if it is?” You nearly sobbed. “So what if he did, Remus? What can I do? I can’t go back in time and change my mind, I can’t go back and fix this. He made choices, I made choices, and here we are.” 

Remus heaved a sigh and looked at you sadly. “I don't think either of you realise that your choices don’t have to remain permanent; there can be an expiration date on them.” 

You were catching your breath from your mini temper tantrum when you heard the glass door slide open, both you and Remus turning to see Sirius standing there almost shy - far shier than you’d ever seen him before.  

“Just talk to him? Okay? You..don’t have to tell him now, just…talk to him.” Remus whispered before heading towards the door, clapping Sirius on the back before disappearing back into the house. 

“Hey.” Sirius offered cautiously after a few beats of silence, coming to stand beside you as the two of you looked over the railing of the patio to the rest of the manor grounds. 

“Hey.” You returned dumbly, clearing your throat before continuing. “You…you look good, Sirius.”

Sirius scoffed, and you could feel your shoulder rising before you saw him smirk at you - if not somewhat sadly - cutting you a playful glare from the corner of his eye. “Did you take up lying there in Ireland?” 

You let out a breathy half-laugh. “I’m not lying.” 

“Then you need glasses. I look like shite.”

“You look tired.” You amended. 

“I’m exhausted.” He agreed, and the two of you lapsed into silence. 

“You look good, though.” He continued. “Healthy.”

You hummed in agreement. “Funny what not having to run on rations and broken hours of sleep on military cots does for a person.”

“Why haven’t I heard from you, Y/N?” He blurted then, turning his entire body to face you. 

“Sirius, I-”

“Everyone else has. You’ve spoken to Lily on the phone. James and Remus have gotten letters. Even Reg got a postcard for his birthday.” 

“I’m sorry.” Was all you could manage to say.

“I wrote to you.” He continued. “Letters, a lot. Did you get them?”

You nodded your head yes shamefully.

“Did you read them?”

You felt your heart splinter at how hopeful and heartbroken he sounded over it. You felt like scum of the earth when you shook your head no, and he let out a sigh.

“I guess that makes me feel a little bit better, then.” He said as he lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. 

You found yourself taking a step away from him when you asked “why does that make you feel better?”

He let out a humourless laugh that forced smoke from his lips. “At least now I know that my begging for a second chance, begging you to come home, professing my love for you isn’t what kept you away.”

“Sirius-”

“I messed up, Y/N.” He declared earnestly. “I…I was fucking scared, terrified. I’d spent so much of my life living with one foot on the threshold of hell that after the war, I didn’t know how to live amongst the undead.”

He took a moment to catch his breath as if he’d run all the way here just to tell you something. “And I ran. I bolted, I…”

“You left.” You finished for him. 

“I left.” He agreed. “I… I didn’t know, Y/N.”

“Didn’t know what?” You asked as you choked back tears.

“Didn’t know what I had, or what I wanted. Or that I had everything that I wanted.”

“And you do, now? You know what you want?” You asked, and a look of determination painted his features as he met your gaze head on.

“For my entire life, I had never known what family meant, so I wasn’t even aware that I’d created my own with all of you until I’d risked it all. I was so sure I didn’t want to be like my parents that I never realised I may actually…want to be a parent someday. I was so sure I didn’t want to be my father that I never realised I actually did want to be a partner someday. I was so certain I’d never know what true love felt like that I didn’t even realise I had it right here all along with you.” 

“Sirius-”

“I messed up. I left. But what I don’t understand is why you did. Or why you stayed away.” He took a step towards you with his cigarette long forgotten in one of his hands, the ash threatening to burn his fingers before you plucked it and stubbed it out on the stone railing. He barely flinched. “Why’d you go?”

“I didn’t want to sit around and wait for you, Sirius. I- it hurt, I was hurt. And then-”

“I’m sorry.” He offered quickly, but you shook your head.

“I’m not telling you this for you to be sorry, I just-”

“I came back for you.”

“But it wasn’t just about me anymore, Sirius!” You shouted then, and you watched his brows furrow before his face fell in horror. 

“You’re seeing someone.” He asked, though he phrased it as more of a statement; like he’d been expecting it.

“I’m not seeing anyone, Sirius.” You sighed.

“Then why’d you leave? Why’d you stay away?”

“Because I’m pregnant.” You blurted, and Sirius fell silent. “I’m almost six months pregnant.”

“Six-” He started, eyes falling to your stomach still hidden behind the baggy article of clothing before you smoothed the fabric over your ever rounding bump. “Six months. Six…”

You let him do the maths in the head as he stared hard at your stomach like he was sitting in divination and it was a crystal ball that might just give him the answers if only he stared at it long enough.

“It’s mine?” He finally concluded.

“Yes.” You whispered.

“It’s mine. You’re pregnant, it’s mine.” He murmured, before his eyes met yours again. “You’re pregnant with my child?”

“Right.” You agreed, and he crumpled to a heap on the floor. 

“Sirius Orion Black,” Sirius heard Remus hiss, clearly hovering somewhere over him, “I swear to Godric if you do not wake up and eat some of this godsdamned vanilla cake you bought, your brother is going to skin you alive.” 

“It’s true.” James agreed from somewhere on Sirius’ other side. “He actually ran to the store when he found out you bought vanilla because he knew Remus wouldn’t eat any of it. Remus is going to get his chocolate cake, and you’re going to get egged.” 

“Shut up.” Sirius hissed as he scrunched his eyes closed. “Fuck.”

“How do you feel, mate?” James asked rather jovially as he clapped him roughy on the shoulder.

“Like hell.”

“Why’s that?” Remus joined in.

“Because I was in the middle of a dream and you sods woke me up going on about cake.” He muttered as he opened his eyes, realising then that he’d been propped up on a number of cushions in one of Lily and James’ spare rooms.

“S’he awake?” Lily whispered, and Sirius craned his neck to see you and Lily poke your heads into the room.

“Oh my gods.” Sirius breathed as he sat up, likely far too fast for someone who fell unconscious mere moments ago. “Oh my gods, you’re actually here?” 

“Did you hit your head, mate?” James asked as he prodded at Sirius’ head, causing Sirius to swat his arms away as he shifted towards the edge of the bed.

“You’re here.” He whispered as you slowly made your way into the room.

“I’m here.” You offered cautiously, eyes darting around at your oldest friends like there might be some secret threat lurking in the room.

“You’re pregnant…” He tried then, punching the air right out of Lily and James who both spun to stare at you in shock.

You smoothed the fabric of your shirt over your midsection again to expose a very obvious (now that everyone could actually see it) baby bump. 

“Oh my gods!” Lily and James chorused, causing Remus to snort.

“You knew, didn’t you!?” Lily accused Remus who held his hands up in surrender. 

“Only when she walked in, and not a second sooner.” 

“With my child.” Sirius continued, and you nodded at him. 

“Y/N.” Lily winced. “You-”

“You sodding scared me!” You shrilled then, grabbing one of the throw pillows James had dumped onto the ground to make room for Sirius and swinging it at him.

“I scared you!?” Sirius shrieked right back, much to the delight of Harry who started banging on the throw pillow that had landed beside him. 

“I thought I killed you!”

“Oh, well I’m terribly sorry that finding out the woman I’ve been in love with for years and pining hopelessly over for months - who was missing for all intents and purposes, may I remind you - is pregnant with my child happened to be a little shocking.” Sirius sneered sarcastically. 

“Well I only went ‘missing’ because the man I’ve been hopelessly in love with for years and pining hopelessly over for months took off an-” The abrupt end of your statement nearly gave the room whiplash as you cut yourself off mid sentence and stared at Sirius like you’d never seen him before. 

“What…what just happened?” James whispered carefully.

“Years?” You whispered then, and Sirius hated every version of himself that deigned to let you go without knowing just how loved you were.

“Probably when we were still just cosmic dust.” Sirius smiled sadly. “I’m sorry I didn’t always realise, I’m sorry I didn’t make sure that you knew.”

“I take it to guess there isn’t an aunt in Killarney?” Lily offered then, smiling kindly at you when you turned your attention towards her.

“No, I- I think there actually is an aunt in Killarney, I just don’t live with her.”

“Where do you live?” Sirius asked eagerly, wondering if you could hear it in his voice or even see on his face just how desperate he was to know everything about you.

“Near Tintagel.” You offered abashedly as Remus slapped his hand on his thigh.

“You minx!” He scolded you. “You lived basically across the channel from me this whole time!”

“I hope it’s nice, wherever it is” You offered him then, smiling through your tears as Sirius swallowed around his bile threatening its way up his oesophagus.

“I hope it’s nice.” Sirius blurted suddenly, and Sirius thanked the heavens for Remus John Lupin who seemed to understand that the conversation delved beyond the need of an audience, scooping Harry up and closing the door behind Lily, James, and himself to give you two some privacy. 

“It’s nice.” You offered wetly. “It’s quiet.”

Sirius hummed in acknowledgement. “In Tintagel, near Merlin’s cave?”

You laughed, which saw Sirius smiling. “I’m not right in Tintagel, just outside. My neighbours are mostly sheep.” 

“Does it have a picket fence?”

“To keep the sheep out of my garden.” You nodded with a smile.

“Flowers; lots of them.” Sirius deduced, you nodded again though Sirius watched your smile falter.

“You’d probably hate it.”

“Are you there?” He asked quickly.

“Well, usually, yes.” You offered, and Sirius shrugged easily.

“Sounds as though it might be my favourite place in the world, then.” 

The next breath that left you shuddered on its way out, and Sirius finally stood and met you in the middle of the room; close enough to touch but not daring to. He hadn’t earned that right yet. 

“Take me with you?” He all but begged then, and your face crumpled in misery.

“Sirius, I don’t want you to follow me because you have to, I-”

“I don’t have to though, I know I don’t; I know you’d never make me.” He assured you then, lifting a hand but pausing to wait for you to nod at him before he placed it on your upper arm. “The letters, Y/N, I- I’ve been looking for you for months.”

A sob tore through you as you lowered your head, and Sirius allowed himself to catch it in his free hand. 

“I don’t want you to feel bad; I’m not telling you so that you feel bad, love.” The endearment falling off his tongue so easily now that he had you in his arms. “But I need you to know that I want you - any of you, all of you - and have for a very long time.” 

“It’s just…you said-” and Sirius knew exactly what he said; he had played that conversation over and over and over in his mind until he found himself sick over it more than once. But we waited for you to tell him anyhow; he’d always wait for you. “You couldn’t settle down and be content, you couldn’t play house; you weren’t that kind of guy.” 

“I know, doll. I know.” He whispered. “I…I didn’t think I was capable of it. I didn’t think I deserved everything I wanted and I knew that you deserved better. That you deserve better.”

“But?”

“But I’d be happy to spend the rest of my life trying to prove you otherwise; trying to give you everything you deserve.”

“Sirius…” You sighed, and Sirius could see your walls cracking. “I…I’m-”

“Take me home? Please?” He begged then, words interrupted by a sob of his own. “To Tintagel, to Killarney, to bloody fucking Azkaban or the bottom of the sodding ocean, I don’t care where it is just as long as it’s with you, please. Please.”

Your hands landed on Sirius’ chest and he was sure you could feel his hummingbird heart beating under your fingertips. He only hoped you knew how it beat for you. 

“Please bring me home?”

James didn’t know if he could consider this a success or not. 

His motivation was not singular; it was a ‘hit two fairies with one gobstone’ sort of scenario, so to speak. Was his son turning two? Indeed he was! Was James throwing a party for said son’s birthday? You’re damned right he was. But was it also a really good excuse to force two of his idiot best friends into the same room again? Absolutely.

Except James seems to have gotten slightly more than he bargained for; Sirius falling unconscious in his childhood backyard, you sobbing into Lily’s shoulder out in the hallway as he and Remus tried to bring him back from the dead, Remus sneering at a slice of birthday cake like it personally offended him and Regulus threatening to defend his boyfriend’s honour, and - apparently - a new niece or nephew coming in the next three-ish months. 

But when he looked over to see you and Sirius emerging from the spare room - both of your faces tear stained and puffy from the grief and torment you no doubt put yourselves through - hands intertwined between your bodies and your hand resting protectively over your growing bump, and a spark in Sirius’ eyes James had thought he lost in the war but now realised he only lost when he lost you…

…yeah, James figured he could probably consider this a success.

[daenysx]

12:47 am + poly!marauders!!

12.47 AM | POLY!MARAUDERS

"she's asleep, jamie." remus whispers as his huge hand works wonders on your back.

"i can carry her to bed." james tells his boyfriend, his fingers play with sirius's hair.

"no, let's just stay here." sirius disagrees. "for a little longer."

james is gorgeous when he smiles. so gorgeous, it makes remus's chest fill with the most tender waves of affection. he stares at the boy's lips for a second, his hand on you never stops.

"i'm gonna fall asleep-" sirius says with a needy smirk, his eyes half open. "if you keep doing that."

"yeah, as if it's not what you want all the time."

"come on, prongs. be nice to me, i'm tired."

james smiles. he leans in to give sirius a kiss. "you're a big baby, you know that?"

"mm- you love me, shut up."

sirius curls up into a ball, hugging james's chest with long arms. you still stay on top of remus, ear pressed on his heart. "dove?" he whispers. "do you wanna go to bed?"

you hear him but your ears feel cloudy. it's so warm, you can hear the wind out there. remus is soft, you wanna be buried on his chest. "remus."

"wanna stay here?" he asks, gently.

you nod. you don't even know what you're saying yes to, but it's okay when he keeps touching you.

"it's alright." remus whispers. "you can sleep. you've been so tired."

it's the best feeling, to be taken care of in your most vulnerable state. you don't need to think for anything when they are with you, they would do everything to keep you nice and warm, safe and content under the blankets. you snuggle closer. maybe it's possible to stay here forever.

cinnamon girl sleepover ♡

[cosmal]

𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 — 𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤

day five of my christmas drabble advent calendar

summary — sirius is your secret santa.

warnings/tags — fem!reader, she/her

note — i literally know nothing about walkmans im sorry.

Sirius, in a best-friend-only sort of way, spends an entire week looking for your secret santa gift.

Not because he has zero clue about what to get — after the stars had aligned and he pulled your name from Remus’s beanie, his mind has been plagued with ideas about gifts for you.

There’s one gift he’s set on. He has been since you mentioned you wanted it a month ago. It was a quick, but in depth conversation. But he remembered.

He remembers you sitting upside down on his bed, rambling about some special edition walkman that had just been released. How it’s really pretty, it has gold trimming around the edge, it’s battery life is longer, something about the audio that Sirius couldn’t understand, and that you’d never have enough money to buy it.

You hadn’t really rambled, you’d spoken about it like you desperately needed it and Sirius had sat there and taken in every word you’d said like it was gospel. That’s how it usually is. You speak, Sirius listens like the lovesick best friend that he is.

Now, sat in a circle with his friends, Sirius feels like he could throw up. Lily, the lovely friend that she is, has dealt out everyone’s presents and it’s about to be your turn. He hasn’t even looked at the red box in his lap. He would, if he could take his eyes off of you.

After James stops beaming about the gift that Remus had bought him (you all know that you’re not supposed to say who bought what, but half of you can’t keep your mouths shut) it’s your turn to open yours.

Everyone has their eyes on you. He can tell you’re hating it, you keep touching your hot cheeks and you’re rambling some stupid joke about the wrapping job. He thinks it’s well deserved, Sirius wrapped and re-wrapped that present ten times over.

“Godric, Y/N, just rip it!” James groans, ever the impatient one.

“The paper’s too pretty,” you explain, doing your best at keeping it intact.

It is pretty. Sirius had also spent a stupid amount of time picking it out.

Once you finally get it open, and you can actually see the label, Sirius doesn’t think he’s ever seen your face look so bright. You look down at the present, then up at him, back at the present. You get up from your spot and Sirius thinks you might be upset.

You walk towards him, then in his nervous mind, he thinks you might hit him for whatever reason. Instead, you tackle him into the couch. Arms wrapped around his neck, knees pressed into his thighs. Sirius laughs madly.

“Thank you,” you murmur into his hair. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” You sound like you might cry. He would hate that. Or love it. He’s really proud of himself for not fucking up.

Sirius let’s himself bathe in your affection. He selfishly lets his hands rub up and down the length of your back. “It’s okay,” he says, all quiet and entirely too dazed.

You pull back and Sirius misses the heat of your mouth against his neck. The sound of your little excited gasp. You look so happy but also like you’re trying to hold it back. He feels the exact same way but for a completely different reason.

You let yourself climb off of him, apologising if you hurt him in your elated tackle.

“You didn’t,” he smiles. Then, because he’s dizzy off of your happiness, he lets himself say, “I quite liked it actually.” You smile into the back of your hand.

He’s too pleased when you don’t go back to your spot and decide to settle down next to him. The heat of your thigh against his is maddening, the urge to let his hand fall on top of it is worse.

Everyone falls back into chatter, watching Remus unwrap his present next. You can’t keep your eyes off the present in your lap. Sirius can’t keep his eyes off of you.

Once everyone has opened their presents and it’s just the two of you left in the loungeroom, Sirius sits and watches you fiddle with the walkman. After it had taken you ten minutes to actually want to open it up. You’d sat there and read the box over and over, smiling so hard Sirius had to bite his lip.

“Pass me the tape?” you ask, opening the player up. Clicking and pressing buttons.

He hands you the cassette, a well worn one that you’ve listened to more times than your own voice, and you slide it into place, snapping it shut.

You fiddle with the ear buds and hand him the left one with a small smile, “We should share the first song.”

Sirius takes it and places it in his ear. You let your head fall against his shoulder as the first track starts to play. Your head is a grounding weight he needs to feel. He feels like he’s floating.

After the song finishes, he asks, “How’d you know it was me?”

Before the track can change, you reply, “Because no one listens to me like you do.”

It’s half true. He knows your friends listen to everything you say. He also knows that he can recite every minute detail about you if given the chance. He knows you better than he knows himself. He’s more than okay with that.

“Right,” he smiles. He likes knowing that you think that too.

“Thank you, Sirius. Really,” you say. The song is loud in his ear but he has no troubles drowning it out to listen to you.

“It’s okay, sweetheart.”

You turn you head so your mouth his pressed into his shoulder and you kiss him there gently. Over the cotton of his t-shirt.

He thinks it could be the start of something more. If he’s lucky.

[ro-is-struggling]

Drunken Confessions || Sirius Black x Reader {Marauders Era}

Summary: You and Sirius always had feelings for each other but you kept it a secret because you two didn't get along. That is until you start dating an exchange student from Ilvermorny. Sirius can't stand seeing you two together all the time so one day he decides he's had enough and confesses his feelings to you under the influence of alcohol.

Warnings: angst (with happy ending), slow burn, unrequited love (but actually mutual pining), kinda enemies to lovers, cheating I guess (the reader is in love with Sirius while dating another guy), mentions of Snape being a jerk to the reader and Lily for being muggleborns, mentions of Jily, Modern AU (so they can have phones to make the prompt make sense), love confessions, fluff, Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

English is not my first language

Word count: 6500

Notes: Basen on a request with the prompt 7 from my 600 Followers Celebration Prompt List

Sirius was watching you from his place at the Gryffindor table lost in thought. You were with him again. Ever since the Ilvermorny exchange students had arrived you hadn't left the side of this Ben guy and he couldn't take it anymore. Everywhere you went he was by your side, holding your hand, carrying your books, lending you his jacket when you got cold... doing all the things he wanted to do for you.

He knew that was impossible, you hated him and barely spoke to him in class, but his dreams didn't hurt anyone. Sirius knew you were polar opposites. You were introverted, quiet, rule-abiding, and popular for your kindness and general cheerfulness, the exact opposite of all the things his name was known for at school. You had never gotten along very well for those reasons, you always saw him as an incompetent buffoon —and you being friends with Snape didn't help his case—, but he had a crush on you from the first moment he saw you. And as much as he knew that a relationship between you was as likely to happen as Snape becoming funny, Sirius couldn't help but feel his insides bubbling with jealousy every time this Ben guy touched you. 

From what Sirius had heard, he was an old friend of yours who you hadn't seen for years after he moved back to America with his family. You were thrilled to have the opportunity to spend time with him after so long and it showed in the amount of time you spent together. Sirius could swear that there wasn't a moment of the day when he looked at you and Ben wasn't standing next to you. But no matter how much you insisted that you were just friends, he knew that was a lie. There was more than friendship in your eyes when you looked at each other and he hated it. 

He hated it because it meant he truly didn't have a chance with you. You weren't someone who enjoyed casual dating, so if you were in a relationship with Ben like he assumed that meant you really loved him. You were in love with Ben and Sirius could do nothing but admire your happiness from a distance while the bitterness of loneliness consumed his insides.

Of course he was never really alone, but none of the girls he dated from time to time compared to you. You were something special, a girl of singular beauty, the calm his troubled soul so desperately needed. But you were unobtainable for someone like him, so he had to learn to live with the knowledge that he could never hold your hand or feel your lips on his, something that became more difficult when he saw you walking through the halls of Hogwarts with Ben, knowing that he had everything he longed for. Sometimes Sirius wished he had never met you, he was sure that would be easier than forgetting you. 

"Are you ready, Black?" your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, forcing him back to reality. At some point you had approached him without him even noticing, looking at him with a raised eyebrow as you waited for him to react. He saw that you were carrying your potions book, holding it tightly against your chest, and then remembered that you had agreed to get together after class to work on a project you had been assigned - he still couldn't believe how unlucky he was to end up paired with you of all people. 

"Yeah, let's go" he muttered without paying much attention to his surroundings, getting up from the table and leaving his half-eaten plate of food behind.

It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining brightly in the sky, though it wasn't too hot thanks to the gentle breeze rustling the treetops. You wanted to take advantage of the nice weather, so you suggested going to the courtyard to work. Sirius agreed, thinking that the fresh air would help him stay calm by not being locked in a room with the sweet scent of your perfume attacking his nostrils. 

The potion you had to brew for Friday's class was a bit more complicated than you both expected. It had a long list of steps and instructions that had to be strictly followed for the final preparation to be perfect —like cutting the ingredients in a specific way and adding them at a specific time. It took you several attempts to come up with a potion that was decent even though you two were top Gryffindor students. And even after spending all afternoon working on it, you still weren't finished. There were still a couple of things to do before you could let the concoction rest for 24 hours as the recipe indicated and the sun was starting to set.

"It's getting late," you muttered as you threw some herbs into the mixture. Sirius was stirring the cauldron with a blank stare, lost in thought. It was something you noticed him doing a lot lately. You wondered what it was that could have him so distracted, though you couldn't bring yourself to ask him. You weren't the kind of people who talked without ending up fighting. "Do you think we'll ever finish this thing?" you joked to lighten the mood.

"Slughorn better give us a good grade after this."Sirius let out a chuckle, looking up to meet your gaze. 

"I hope so! Or I'll force it down his throat myself."

"I'll hold him down for you," he laughed, sparking a warm feeling inside you. You liked his laughter and knowing that you were the cause of it gave you a strange sense of pride. Not everyone could make the class clown laugh.

"I miss when Severus did all the work for me," you complained, grabbing the next ingredient for the potion. You, Lily and him used to do all the projects you could together, especially the potions ones. Severus was very good at the subject and far too controlling so most of the time he ended up doing everything himself because he couldn't stand it if you got something wrong. You didn't mind though, you liked learning through him, he was kind of grumpy but he was a good teacher when he wanted to be.

"Is it really bad between you, huh?" Sirius spoke in a soft tone, as if he was genuinely concerned about the big fight you'd had with one of your best friends. You were surprised by his interest given that he was the #1 Snape hater. You expected a sarcastic comment from him or a mocking remark, but instead he seemed genuinely interested in hearing you talk about your problems. It was kind of weird, you guys didn't usually share those kinds of moments, but you decided to give him a chance.

"Yeah, Lily and I are pretty sad about it, but we couldn't keep pretending... Severus changed, he's not the same guy I met on the train five years ago" you murmured, your voice muffled by sadness. It was hard to lose a friend and even harder to lose one the way you and Lily had lost Severus. The way he had treated you, the names he had called you, no friend would ever be able to be so cruel. "Or maybe he's more himself, I don't know anymore... I feel like I don't know him anymore. Maybe I never did."

Sirius felt pure hatred coursing through his veins as he saw the sadness in your eyes. He wanted to kill Snape for daring to make you suffer by calling you that derogatory word. He always knew Snivellus was an idiot, but he had outdone himself by hurting you and Lily like that. You were two of the sweetest, kindest people he had ever met and Snape had been lucky enough to call you his friends. Sirius couldn't believe how he had been such an idiot to lose you two when you were the best thing that had ever happened to him in his miserable, boring life. He would regret that for the rest of his days, Sirius was sure of it.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said with sincerity in his voice. The hand that wasn't stirring the cauldron hovered over yours for a few seconds, trying to decide whether it was appropriate to touch you or not. 

You weren't friends so physical contact was a rare thing for you. You didn't even hug occasionally to celebrate Gryffindor's victory in a Quidditch match —in fact, you were lucky if you talked for more than five minutes without arguing—, so he wasn't sure how you would react. But on second thought, you also didn't share intimate moments like this one, filled with meaningful words about your feelings, so he decided to give it a shot.

You looked up to stare at him when you felt the warmth of his hand on yours. The contact awakened a wave of electricity in your body, the skin on your hand tingling under his touch. It was something you had never felt before and it did nothing but raise doubts and confusion in your mind. 

"I mean, I know Snape and I have our differences and I don't like him, but still I'm sorry about what happened. He was your friend and it sucks that everything ended this way." You were surprised by the kindness in Sirius' voice. He sounded genuinely sorry for what had happened and not at all smug at being the one who had warned you of his bad side all these years. Was this a sign that he was finally maturing? 

"Yeah, I'm sorry too," you sighed, shrugging. "But you're not the one that should be apologizing. I mean, you warned me about him, I just... I couldn't see it. I didn't want to see it. It kinda sucks to learn that your friend hates you for being born, I guess."

"You shouldn't listen to him. Having Lily and you as friends was the best thing that could have happened to him and he's a fucking idiot for not seeing that." Sirius tightened his grip on your hand as a sign of support and you smiled at him, feeling the warmth invade your insides once more. It was a comfortable warmth, a feeling that made you feel safe.

"You're a brilliant witch and you should never let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Thank you, Sirius. I kinda needed to hear that." After all you had been through —having to listen to someone so close to you belittle you for being a Muggle-born wizard— you had fallen into the trap of doubting your abilities. But hearing a wizard as talented as Sirius praise you like that made you feel better. "Look at us! Who would have thought that we were capable of having a normal conversation?" you laughed and he followed suit.

"It's what I've been trying to tell you all these years!" You shared a laugh that felt all too genuine. For the first time since you had known each other you were having a good time together. However, the fun was interrupted by Ben's voice calling your name in the distance.

“There you are! I've been looking for you all day,” he said with an innocent smile. You removed your hand from under Sirius' quickly, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by either boy. 

"I'm sorry! We're doing our potions homework and it is taking a bit longer than we thought it would" you explained to Ben, suddenly nervous. You had nothing to hide, you and Sirius were just doing your homework, so why was your stomach turning with nervousness? "We're almost done with the first part, so you can stay with us if you want" you offered. Ben was about to sit down with you, when Sirius' voice interrupted him.

"There's no need, I can finish the rest by myself," he assured you, trying hard to hide the bitterness in his voice. The last thing he wanted at that moment was to share space with Ben. You'd had such a nice evening, he'd rather take that and not have to put up with your public displays of affection. 

"Are you sure? I can help you. I mean, I want to. It's our project." You found it strange the way Sirius suddenly seemed to want to get rid of you. You thought you were having a good time together.

"Yes it's fine! Go have fun and I'll see you tomorrow after class to finish it."

You wanted to say something, to insist on staying to help him, but he seemed very determined to finish the first part of the preparation alone so you just nodded. You rose from your place and waved him goodbye, agreeing on a time to meet tomorrow before taking Ben's hand and walking towards the castle. As you walked away you couldn't help but wonder if you had done something wrong to make him angry. Though what stood out the most to you was how much his rejection seemed to affect you.

The potions class the next day only stirred up more confusion within you, not because of the project - Professor Slughorn told you that you were on the right track when you showed him the state of your potion - but because of your feelings for Sirius. Among other potions of advanced difficulty, Professor Slughorn introduced the class to Amortentia, the most powerful love potion in existence. Everyone crowded around the professor's desk where the cauldron of steaming liquid rested, desperate to smell the steam rising in spirals and discover the scent of love. All except Lily and you, who stayed at the back of the room and only approached when the rest of the class began to disperse. 

There was something about the promise of discovering smells that attracted you even if you didn't know it that terrified you. You both knew very well what you might encounter because no matter how hard you tried to hide it, the feelings were there, but you didn't want to be confronted with the obvious confirmation that the scent of Amortentia would provide. If it were up to you, you would never have gone near that cauldron, but Professor Slughorn invited you when he saw that you were not moving and you could not refuse. So, letting out a sigh, you approached the desk and reluctantly smelled the potion.

The first aroma that attacked your nostrils was that of freshly brewed coffee, the only thing that could get you out of bed on cold mornings. Then the coffee morphed into the smell of parchment and old books that flooded the school library, where you spent most of your afternoons doing your homework. It was a scent you had come to love as you associated it with Hogwarts and the wonders of the magical world, a place that had become your second home and that you missed like crazy during the school breaks. 

You were happy with your experience with Amortentia, letting out a sigh of relief as you discovered that it evoked familiar and harmless smells for you, things you already knew you found pleasant. But just as you were walking away from the cauldron, the third smell attacked you. And this time it wasn't as harmless as the others. Far from it, it turned your world upside down.

You wished it was Ben's cologne or even the smell of his shampoo, anything to reassure you that you were doing the right thing by dating him. But the strong smell of musk and cigarettes that assaulted your nose was a loud and clear message: it was Sirius that your heart truly desired.

Lily looked just as horrified as you did when you returned to your seats, and despite the fact that neither of you mentioned the Amortentia for the rest of the day, you didn't have to talk about it to know what had happened. You knew each other well enough to know that the damn potion had only confirmed your greatest fears: you were in love with Sirius and she was in love with James.

Your mood was ruined after that potions class, your mind too preoccupied with finding another explanation for smelling Sirius' very essence in the Amortentia to concentrate on anything else. There was no way you could accept that you were in love with him. No. There had to be another explanation. You couldn't be in love with him. He was arrogant and annoying, always thinking he was smarter and funnier than he actually was. He was the complete opposite of you and there was no way you could be in love with him. Not when you had a kind and wonderful guy who loved and respected you by your side.

Ben was your friend, someone you had shared beautiful moments with. He understood you better than anyone and even though you hadn't seen each other for a couple of years, he hadn't changed at all. You had a special bond that had not faded with the passage of time. You two together made sense. He was probably the most appropriate guy for you in all of Hogwarts. So why couldn't you love him like he loved you?

When you met Sirius at the agreed time and place you immediately noticed that the atmosphere was different from the previous day. Yesterday you had managed to create a pleasant working environment and even ended up sharing an intimate and meaningful moment that you would never have expected to have with him. But today there was nothing but tension in the air as you sat next to him, pulling your potions book out of your backpack to read the recipe for the thousandth time. You both seemed to be in a bad mood and the fact that your phone was ringing every five minutes with messages from Ben didn't help. 

"What's wrong with lover boy today? Can't he see that you're busy?" There was something about the annoyed, sarcastic tone in which Sirius said that that you didn't like. Maybe it was your bad mood exaggerating things, but he had no right to speak to you in that tone. 

"We're going on a date to Hogsmeade today and he's just making sure I remember it, that's all." you said through gritted teeth, thinking you didn't have to explain anything to him. 

"He sent you like a thousand texts already, does he think you're dumb or something?" Sirius couldn't explain what had gotten into him either. He assumed he still hadn't recovered from watching you leave with your boyfriend yesterday while he stayed behind. Having smelled your perfume on the Amortentia didn't help him either, especially since you kept reminding him that you weren't his and never would be. 

"No, he just misses me," you replied reluctantly, rolling your eyes.

You decided not to speak anymore after that in order to keep the peace between you, limiting yourself to opening your mouth only to talk about the potion you were brewing. However, you were both in such a bad mood that you ended up arguing about that as well, further delaying the process and damning yourselves to spend more time together. 

"Do you mind finishing it alone? It's getting late and I have to go get ready." you asked when you saw how late it was getting. You had less than half an hour to get ready for your date and meet the rest of the students going to Hogsmeade or you would miss the trip altogether.

"Actually, I do. This is your project too and I'm not going to do this all by myself." Sirius knew he was being irrational, looking for excuses to force you to stay with him. He didn't care that you were fighting as long as it meant you wouldn't go on your date with Ben. He was being selfish and he wasn't proud of it, but jealousy was getting the better of him.

"What?" The question sounded more like an exclamation of surprise, looking at Sirius with narrowed eyes as you tried to find some indication on his face that he was joking. When you found none, you let out a sigh of disbelief. Yesterday he hadn't hesitated to kick you out and now he was complaining about working alone? It didn't make any sense.

"What the hell is your problem today? Why are you acting like a jerk all of a sudden?"

"I have a problem?" Sirius laughed sarcastically. "And what about your little boyfriend? He's the one who can't seem to leave you alone for five minutes." It was obvious what Sirius' problem was at this point, but you were too annoyed to notice the jealousy in his voice.

"What does he have to do with anything?" Confusion was written all over your face, anger evident in your stiff posture and your arms crossed over your chest. What was his fucking problem?

"Nothing, he's a saint. He never does anything wrong" he muttered between his teeth, as if he was speaking more to himself than to you. But despite his low tone of voice, you heard him with perfect clarity.

"Why do you care so much about him?" You were tired of beating around the bush, you needed answers. You needed to hear him say what he really thought. You needed to know if behind his teasing and sarcastic remarks hid at least a hint of jealousy —if you weren't the only one who felt something.

Your eyes begged him for an honest answer, but Sirius didn't have the courage - or the composure - he needed to give it to you at that moment. "I don't care about him or you," he said instead. "You know what? Go with him, don't keep him waiting. I'll finish this later." 

Without another word, Sirius got up and gathered his things from the table, disappearing behind the door in a matter of seconds. You watched him walk away not knowing what to do or say, feeling the lump in your throat tighten to the point where you found it hard to breathe. 

He didn't care about you.

"Okay, what's wrong with you?" Ben asked you after spending the last five minutes talking without an answer from you. It was obvious something was wrong with you, you had been distracted since you left the castle.

"What?" Looking up from the teacup in front of you, you met your boyfriend's worried gaze and your heart broke a little more. Why did everything have to be so complicated? You were in Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, the most romantic place in Hogsmeade accompanied by the most wonderful guy in the world and your mind was still thinking about Sirius. "Oh, nothing. I'm a little tired, that's all." You put on a smile, but Ben knew you too well to notice that it wasn't genuine. 

"C'mon! Something is bothering you, what is it?" he insisted and you answered his question immediately, not with words, but with your eyes.

Just as Ben stretched his hand across the table to rest it on yours, your eyes wandered to the store window. Among the people walking through the streets of Hogsmeade you were able to make out Sirius, who was walking by while holding hands with a Hufflepuff girl. Your expression changed immediately, sadness evident in your eyes as you made eye contact with the guy who didn't seem to want to leave your thoughts. He looked at you as he crossed the street, his eyes traveling to where your hand joined Ben's on the table. And then his eyes shifted to the girl laughing next to him, leaning down to give her a kiss on the cheek as they walked past you.

"It's him, isn't it?" Ben's voice managed to get your attention again and you turned to look at him. He knew, you could see it in his eyes. He knew your little secret.

“Huh?”

“Sirius. He’s the one you want.” The certainty in his voice made you feel like the worst human being in the history of mankind. He was sure of what he was saying, he had no doubt that he wasn't the one you really loved. 

"What? No! Sirius and I aren't even friends." You didn't know why you were lying, you knew Ben had figured you out. You supposed it was because you refused to admit your true feelings out loud. Saying it made it real, it stopped being a bunch of doubts and guesses that haunted your mind late at night and became the cruel and painful reality. You were not ready for that. "I have you, why would I want to be with anyone else?"

"I see the way you look at him when you think nobody is watching you." Ben stated and the smile on your face vanished. "If he's the one you truly want, then you should be with him."

"A relationship between us would never work, we are not compatible." You tried to sound casual, to hide your feelings in a joke, but your voice came out sour, revealing the truth of your heart. "I'm with you now! And you are infinitely better to me than he is. We actually get along."

"Maybe, but you don't love me like you love him." Ben was calm, too calm for anyone in the position he was in. He didn't sound angry or devastated. It was as if he'd had time to process the situation, as if he'd surrendered to the reality that confronted him every time you looked at Sirius a long time ago. He had already mourned your relationship and you wondered how long he had known about your true feelings —certainly longer than you had known yourself. 

"Ben, I-" you tried to speak, feeling the burn of tears building up in your eyes, but he interrupted you. 

"I get it, Y/N. It's not your fault. It's not anybody's fault. We can't choose who we fall in love with... and I can't force you to love me."

"But I do love you, Ben."

"I know you do, but not like I love you." The calm in his voice destroyed you. No matter how hard it was for you to admit it, he was right. You loved him, but as a friend. All this time you had tried so hard to make that change, trying to force your heart to forget Sirius, but it was simply impossible. And in the process you had ended up hurting one of the most important people in your life.

“And that’s fine, I’m not mad at you for not loving me.” Ben continued, giving you a small smile that did little to ease the pain in your heart. You were a horrible person and honestly he deserved someone better than you. "But I need you to be honest with me, because I value our friendship and I don't want to lose it too. So if you love him then say it and we'll break up right now. Maybe that way we can save our friendship."

You didn't see the point in continuing to lie. It was more than clear that you loved Ben very much, but your heart belonged to someone else. Continuing to deny it would only hurt you and him more and that was the last thing you wanted. Your deceptions had done enough damage, you didn't want to lose the beautiful bond that held you together - though there was no doubt that it wouldn't be the same after this.

"I'm sorry," you whispered in a broken voice as a couple of tears escaped your eyes. "I never meant for any of this to happen, I-"

"It's okay. Like I said, it's nobody's fault." Ben comforted you, taking your hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. It was ironic that he was the one making you feel better when you had been the one to hurt him, but your mind was so full of conflicting thoughts and feelings that you weren't able to realize at the time how terrible it was.  "Now, what do you say we get out of here? I'll buy you anything you want from Honeydukes."

The Hufflepuff party was exactly what Sirius needed at that moment. Loud music and lots of alcohol were the perfect combination to take his mind off you, at least for a few hours. He gave into the euphoria of the moment, losing himself in Amy's lips as they danced. It worked wonders for a while, but the more intoxicated he became, the harder it was for him to control his mind, which kept imagining that it was your hands caressing his body, your lips kissing him desperately, your hips grinding against his to the rhythm of the music, and not Amy’s. 

It became obvious that there was nothing he could do to get you out of his mind, so Sirius came up with a dumb excuse for Amy and disappeared into the sea of people before she could say a word back to him. He stumbled his way back to his dorm, cursing himself for drinking so much. Luckily he didn't run into anyone in the halls and was able to get to his bed in one piece. The room was empty since his friends were still at the party, so he had the privacy he needed to sink into his misery.

Why couldn't he be the one holding your hand while you enjoyed a date at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop? Sirius hated that place, it was too cheesy for him, but he hated even more to see you there with another guy. He should be the one taking you on dates around Hogsmeade and buying you gifts. He wanted to walk hand in hand with you and carry your books through the halls of the school. He wanted to be yours and for you to be his, why was that so hard? 

He should have said it a long time ago, maybe if he had been honest in the past his present would be different. Maybe he would be the one you would be texting every five minutes and not that idiot Ben.

Then an idea popped into his mind. It was a terrible one, but his brain was too intoxicated to realize what he was about to do. He fumbled in the dark for his phone, which was forgotten among the mess of sheets he called a bed. The brightness of the screen blinded him for a moment, hurting his sensitive eyes, but he managed to find your name in his contacts despite the difficulties.

'You up?' Typing that message took him longer than it should have, but he didn't care. He was determined to fix his mistakes and there was nothing that could make him change his mind. 

He waited a few minutes for a reply, but it never came. He figured that was normal since it was late at night. You weren't a party girl, so you were probably already asleep. However, Sirius didn't let that discourage him, opting to leave you a voicemail instead.

"I know you're probably sleeping right now, but I can't wait any longer to tell you this..." he began, pausing for a long moment as he tried to organize his thoughts. "I lied, I do care about you... I care about you and Ben being together cause... cause I should be in his place. I like you, Y/N, a lot actually, and seeing you with him is torture. And I know you're happy with him and that he's better than me, but... I just... I wish I was the one you loved, cause I love you and I'm tired of hiding it. I love you and I wish things could be different between us." 

Sirius sent the message before his brain recovered from his drinking enough to make him change his mind. It felt good to finally let go of years of pent up feelings, he felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. In the state he was in he wasn't able to realize what a mess his confession could create, so he rolled over in bed and in a matter of minutes he was asleep, safe in the calm that ignorance gave him.

Sirius' deep, raspy voice was the first thing you heard on the cloudy Saturday morning. You were the last of all your roommates to wake up, probably because you spent the night tossing and turning in bed as you reviewed the events of the day. You didn't feel like leaving the bed yet, so you curled up between the sheets and grabbed your phone to distract your mind. 

As you turned on the device's screen Sirius' name flashed among the notifications. Talking to him was the last thing you wanted to do at that moment, but curiosity got the better of you when you saw the time he had texted you. His voice was slow and low, almost a hoarse whisper. The way he slurred his words as he spoke told you he was drunk, although all those details stopped mattering to you when you heard the content of his message. 

He loved you?

You sat on your bed in complete shock for a couple of minutes, your eyes glued to the wall as you replayed his message over and over again to make sure it wasn't some kind of hyper-realistic hallucination. 

He loved you.

You were just beginning to lighten up at the thought of your feelings being reciprocated when a small detail dawned on you: Sirius was drunk. He had sent you that message when he was under the influence of alcohol. He wasn't himself and therefore you couldn't trust his words. 

But this time instead of sitting around assuming things, you decided to do something about it. You needed to know if his words were real, if he truly felt for you all he claimed in his message.

You were dressed and down the stairs in less than five minutes, focused on finding Sirius. You scanned the entire common room with your eyes, looking for his long brown hair and leather jacket among the crowd of students lounging on couches or doing homework at desks, getting as much work done as they could before exams. He was nowhere to be seen, but your eyes did meet his friends gathered at the side, chatting and laughing as they always did.

"Hey! I'm looking for Sirius, do you guys have any idea of where he might be?" you asked them as you approached them, shamelessly interrupting their conversation. There was a moment of silence where they all shared a look before James gave you the answer you were looking for.

"He's in bed with the worst hangover of his life," he said. "Why...?" James tried to find out what it was you wanted with his friend, but you disappeared up the stairs before he could finish the sentence.

You made your way to his bedroom without a second thought. You had been there a couple of times in the past so you knew the way. This time was different from the others though. On the previous occasions you were accompanied by Lily and you were usually there to complain about something James and Sirius had done. But this time you weren't there to fight with him like a couple of immature children. You were looking for him to discuss whatever it was that you had going on, so normally the nerves were slowly taking over your system. Still, you tried to keep them from affecting your mind, confidently knocking on his bedroom door to hide the fact that your heart was beating with a pace that was probably unhealthy. 

"Is it true?" was the first thing you said to him when Sirius opened the door. He looked like he was just getting up, his long hair tangled and his eyes narrowed as if the light was bothering him. 

It took Sirius a few seconds to comprehend what you were saying, struggling to remember the events of the night before. The throbbing pain in his head had improved, but that still didn't help him regain his memory. Everything was a confusing haze of images that passed too quickly. The harder he tried to remember, the more the details slipped away, as if they were a dream that was lost in his subconscious the moment he woke up.

But then his own voice echoed in his mind.

'I love you and I wish things could be different between us.'

"Oh," he murmured as the realization hit him. "You got my message, huh?" he added, stepping aside to let you into the room. The conversation that would follow was not one to be had in the hallway.

"That's it?" you said, watching as he sat back down on his bed. "That's all that you're going to say?"

"What more do you want me to say?" Sirius sighed, running his hand through his hair. "That I pictured our lives together a thousand times? That the sound of your laugh makes my heart race? That there's no other girl I want to be with?" he said, getting up once more to approach you. He raised his voice, but he didn't sound angry, just... frustrated. "What difference would that make? You're with him now, so it's too late." He turned his back to you since it was difficult for him to maintain eye contact with you while exposing his feelings. He hated feeling vulnerable, but there was no point in lying anymore.

"Not anymore." Your voice was low, almost a whisper, but loud enough for Sirius to hear you.

"What?" He turned, looking at you with eyes full of confusion and illusion. 

"We broke up yesterday... he knew even before I did that my heart belonged to someone else... to the only guy I swore I wasn't gonna fall for." You let out a quiet laugh, finding the irony of the situation amusing. 

"Wait, are you saying that...?" Sirius spoke cautiously, a part of him refusing to believe what you were saying.

"I'm saying that you were the one I smell in the Amortentia." You interrupted him, confirming his doubts before he could even pronounce them. "It's you, it's always been you."

Sirius didn't waste another second, closing the distance between you and crashing his lips against yours. Fireworks exploded behind your eyes as you lost yourself in the kiss, feeling the warmth of Sirius' body envelop you completely. It didn't feel real. After denying your feelings for so long it was hard to believe you were finally kissing him, but there was no denying the electricity that coursed through your body, reassuring you that it wasn't just a dream. 

The world around you froze for an instant, all thoughts unrelated to Sirius disappeared from your mind as his lips caressed yours with desperation. It felt right, as if you were put into this world to be together. His lips connected with yours perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle that had taken you too long to put together. But it was finally happening, after all the comings and goings you had found each other and neither of you planned on letting the other go.

[fensherohair]

The Marauders & The Metamorphmagi - Introduction

Synopsis: (Y/N) Wolffe is a pureblood witch with a knack for rule-breaking, mischief, clumsiness, and causing absolute chaos. What happens when she gains the attention of a certain Marauder and becomes enthralled in a pranks war with another that terrorizes Hogwarts School?

Word Count: 1.5K Eventual Pairings: Lily Evans/James Potter, Remus Lupin/Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black/Reader Pronouns: She/Her - some character description is given. Note: Also posted to Quotev, Wattpad, and AO3. (Reader is Metamorphic)

"GRYFFINDOR" yelled out the sorting hat, once it had made its decision after being placed on the head of pureblood witch (Y/N) Wolffe. The midnight-haired girl quickly jumped up and ran to her immediate right, a bright smile on her lips as she followed in the footsteps of Sirius Black and Lily Evans. A small nervous giggle escaped her as she sat down, shaking hands with others in the same house, watching quietly with them as the other first years were sorted into their individual houses. Lily's mood soured slightly when her friend Severus Snape was sorted into Slytherin, ensuring they were separated and rivals in terms of house competition. Something neither wanted but also had no choice but to accept.

"Hi I'm Marlene" spoke a small blonde girl, she'd sat next to (Y/N) after being sorted. Across from them were Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, Lily was next to Sirius with James being the opposite side of Marlene. The quieter plump boy, Peter was quiet next to James, almost shaking with nervousness as if he was about to run from the hall and break down from fright. Yet nonetheless, the group started to talk. James confidently apologizing to Lily for an incident that took place on the train. Soon enough Peter joined in. Asking random questions and changing the subject several times, while enjoying the feast in front of them. At least until Dumbledore announced it was time for them to head to the common room.

Only then did the prefects take charge. Each one standing at the end of the table closest to the golden doors and calling for the first years to join them. Once they were certain all were there the walk through the castle to reach each common room began. Whereas the Slytherin students and Hufflepuffs were led toward the dungeons. Both the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors were led to the grand staircase, the students of both houses being informed the stairs liked to move, and admiring the pictures moving and greeting them as they passed. Soon enough the Ravenclaws went one way with the Gryffindors going the opposite.

As the prefect lead the first-year Gryffindor students through the endless corridors, he'd look back every now and again, ensuring everyone was still present. Keeping a close on the four boys at the back, seemingly teasing the three girls just in front of them. A small grin appeared on his lips upon noticing one of the girls was far more than met the eye.

"This is Gryffindor's common room. Girls' dormitories are upstairs to the right, and boys' the same on the left. You'll find all your belongings have already been brought up" informed Blaine, allowing the first year's time to look around the common room. Taking in the portraits of past students who'd gone to greatness, the cozy area by the fire, the tables for studying, and plenty of places to hang out with friends if staying in the tower. The red and gold theme running throughout, from simple flags hanging over the walkway above the stairs to the choices in rugs and plush sofa sets.

It wasn't long before the group of pre-teens went off to find their dormitory, each with the hope they'd be with people they'd already formed a friendship with. Lily, Marlene, and (Y/N) grinned widely upon finding out they'd be sharing a dorm, the other two they shared with were muggle-born twin sisters Allegra and Isolde Smith. One of which was quiet and the other arrogant with no end of audacity. Something she quickly displayed upon demanding someone switch bunks with her, as she didn't want to be near the door.

"I can't believe we have classes right after breakfast tomorrow. They should at least give us time to explore" muttered Allegra, rolling her hazel eyes as she unpacked some of the things she'd brought with her from home. Her favorite teddy bear, and a few pictures of the friends she had to leave behind. She soon started to complain, about everything from the sheets not being to her standards to the curtains surrounding her bunk being ugly, even about the door not having a proper lock and the windows not having curtains.

(Y/N) on the other hand, merely shook her head, a smile coming to her lips upon finding the small care package her older brother Hunter had hidden in her trunk. Filled with her favorite sweets, from the mundane gummy snakes to more magical creations such as acid pops, chocolate frogs, and sugar quills. A box of Bertie Bott's every flavor beans hidden beneath a few pieces of clothing.

"Bertie Botts" kindly offered (Y/N), opening the box and holding it out for her roommates to take some. "Fair warning, they mean every flavor" she casually added, cluing the three muggle-born girls in, if only to save them the nasty shock and the thought someone was planning a cruel joke on them. Marlene soon reached to take a handful, a smile on her lips as she did so. Secretly holding a soft spot for the daring sweet jelly beans.

Allegra too took a handful, a smug smile on her lips as she became tempted to take the whole box for herself. But soon thought better of it, after all her twin sister and the other three girls she didn't know the name of, were going to be her roommates for the remainder of the school year. She had to get on with them, or at least be civil. Maybe then they could build a friendship or at least be of some use to her.

"What are your names anyway?" spat Allegra, pushing her mousy hair over her shoulder, her face screwing up after getting a particular sour-flavored bean. Through her watery eyes, she could have sworn Isolde had steam coming from her ears. "And blood status. A boy on the train was telling me there were different magical blood types" rudely but curiously added the pre-teen girl, as she rummaged through her trunk to find her pajamas, if only so she could attempt to get comfortable.

"I'm Lily, erm a muggle-born" nervously spoke the redhead girl, after looking at both Marlene and (Y/N), as if confirming if they too, were just as uncomfortable as she was. (Y/N) soon disappeared, there was little doubt she was heading to the dorm bathroom to change, Marlene followed shortly after, as did Lily, thrust giving the Smith Twins their own privacy to change and talk for the few minutes it would take to change into the comfortable pajamas they'd each chosen to wear.

The moment the trio returned, the previous conversation resumed. (Y/N) introduced herself while reluctantly revealing she was a pure-blood, although keeping her abilities as a metamorphmagi secret for the time being. At least until she trusted the girls around her a little more or was left with no other option but to reveal it. Marlene had revealed she was a half-blood. Breaking the ice a little further by asking if any of them had any siblings. Besides the obvious when it comes to the twins.

Lily had spoken of her older sister Petunia, her smile saddened a little upon recalling how their once close relationship had turned sour since she received her letter to Hogwarts. Marlene too revealed she had several younger brothers, all with the hope of one day attending the school. Whereas (Y/N) spoke of her brother Hunter, who was a Hufflepuff student two years ahead of them. She had a few cousins dotted throughout the school ranks also but all were older and most of the shared the same pure-blood supremacy beliefs as the majority of the family.

Isolde had revealed, she and Allegra had several siblings both older and younger. Even how it come as a shock the day Professor McGonagall had paid the ordinary family a visit to deliver the acceptance letters and explain what it would mean for the twin girls. Everything that had once been so normal was anything but now. Since finding out they were witches so much had changed. Isolde had personally lost many friends because of it, whereas Allegra reveled in the idea of finally being better than those who had once looked down upon her.

The conversation between the girls continued until each had dropped off into a peaceful slumber. Allegra was the first to find peaceful slumber, snuggled beneath the warm covers and snuggling her teddy bear. Lily had followed soon after, wishing each a good night when her eyelids got too heavy to keep open and sleep was too powerful to ignore. Isolde was the next, offering a simple thankful for the sweets and sharing a hope they'd all be friends before dropping off. Finally, after a few more minutes of talking Marlene and (Y/N) settled down for the night. suspecting the following day would be filled with mystery and learning, as well as trying to find their way around the large castle and learning their place within the wizarding world. 

Masterlist

[amiableness]

Little Lies

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem! Reader

Summary: James asks Sirius and Y/n to pretend to date after he blurts out they are to Lily.

Word Count: 11.4k

Warnings: smut 18+, male masturbation, oral fem receiving, fingering, unprotected sex (pls be so careful!), reader wears a bikini top, and jealousy

A/N 💌 Hope you all enjoy this; it's been my baby for a while!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“I may have severely fucked up.” James sighs, his features tight with guilt as he stands before you. His chest is heaving like he has run all the way to you—it’s a likely theory.

Remus glances up from beside you; the two of you had been buried in your homework in the common room when James came racing in. He’s disappointed that James has disrupted the productive atmosphere. There’s no way that you or Remus will be continuing to work on your essays.

His admission doesn’t surprise you; James has come to you countless times seeking assistance after making a mistake. Being best friends since you were born, you’ve grown accustomed to being the one to untangle his messes.

Your parents were best friends, which meant that you and James were also raised to be. There wasn’t a memory that you could recall that James wasn’t in. It ended up working; to both of your mum’s excitement, you and James were inseparable. As the levelheaded one between you, you often found yourself trailing after James, tasked with picking up the pieces.

It was in the aftermath of pranks spiraling out of control, times when he impulsively voiced things he really shouldn’t have, or instances when he procrastinated excessively on his work, inevitably turning to you for help with his essays. Surprisingly, it’s become almost amusing to you, a reliable routine in your friendship.

You undeniably held the title of James Potter’s best friend.

Your eyes narrow skeptically, folding your arms over your chest, “Define severely.”

His demeanor turns sheepish as he nervously rubs the back of his neck, his gaze drifting away from you. He looks incredibly uncomfortable, “I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

“You’re not starting off strong.” You snark, an amused smile finding its way onto your lips. Remus chuckles next to you.

“Y/n.” James sighs, his expression urging you to stop your teasing.

“James.” You mimic.

He shoots you a glare, eyes narrowed in mock irritation, “Lily and I were chatting, like really chatting,” He begins, sighing obnoxiously as he settles into the chair opposite you, his expression a grimace. “She told me why she hasn’t taken me seriously when I flirt with her.”

You pause, confusion etching into your features, “And where exactly did you severely fuck up?”

"She thought we were a couple." He says, his hands gesturing wildly between the two of you, his expression a mix of incredulity and amusement. "Can you believe that? You and me?”

You can believe that, actually. You and James have been mistaken for a couple more times than you can count. Even your parents were convinced the two of you would end up together. While you had told them it wasn’t going to happen, you were convinced they were still holding out hope.

You furrow your brows as you watch him a tad uneasy, “Okay, and where did you severely fuck up in this?”

“I panicked, okay?” James looks guilty when he blurts this out. He nearly shouts it, and Remus hushes him. “She said it wasn’t fair for me to flirt with her because of you. She didn’t want your feelings to be hurt and wouldn’t listen when I said we were just friends. And I panicked.”

“Mate, get to the bloody point.” Remus huffs out, tired of James dragging out the story. Nothing bothered Remus more than when James or Sirius took an eternity to get to the point of their story.

“I told her you’re dating Sirius.” James grimaces, shifting nervously.

“What?” You hiss, your palms smacking onto the table, causing James to flinch, “Have you taken too many hits to the head? James, we are not dating!”

James protests, panicking, "But Lily doesn't know that! If you two could just pretend-"

"No, absolutely not! That is going too far." You snap, sending James a frustrated look, while Remus is chuckling to himself next to you.

"Y/n, please. This could be it! My chance with Lily!" James pleads. He’s desperate to try and salvage the plan he had put all his hopes on.

"Starting your new relationship with a lie, are we?" You snap, massaging at your temples. Most of the stress is from spending too many hours studying, but James is undoubtedly making it worse.

James shrugs, a mischievous smirk starting to form, "Well, not really. You and Sirius already flirt a lot. It’s not that far off from the truth."

James was well aware of your feelings for Sirius; he had watched how you nervously stumbled over your words the first day you met Sirius. He had never seen you like that before, eyes lit up with inflation at first glance.

While he occasionally teased you about it, he understood that what you felt for Sirius was deeper than just a crush. Though you would never admit it out loud.

Your frustration grows, "It absolutely is far off from the truth. Lily probably didn’t even believe you! There's no evidence for her to believe the idea that we are together.” You cry, disbelief evident in your voice. James's casual attitude only adds to your frustration. He doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest.

Remus interjects, an amused scoff escaping him, “There's evidence to believe it."

"Are you joking?" You deadpan, your voice full of incredulity. Remus sends you a teasing smirk. He considers how Sirius flirts with you more than anyone else, but he doesn’t want to deal with Sirius furious at him.

Ever since you met Sirius, you have had a crush on him. Realistically, you knew it was pointless; Sirius had a fan club of admirers. So, you counted yourself lucky that you were one of his closest friends. Being his friend was manageable, and quite honestly, kept your expectations in check.

But Sirius acting like he had feelings for you? You wouldn’t handle that well.

James interjects, "Lily believed it. She even said she wasn't surprised."

"But she thought you and I were together?" You ask, sarcasm dripping from every word.

Your tone was snippier than you intended, but you could feel the stress building. The mere thought of pretending to be with Sirius made you feel nauseous.

"She might've just been jealous, wanting to know if you had feelings for James before she finally goes for him." Remus says casually, and James' eyes light up in excitement.

James is positively giddy as he leans forward, “You think she was jealous?”

"Does Sirius even know?" You interrupt, catching James's eye. He glances at Remus, clearly hoping to hear more about Lily’s supposed jealousy.

James shakes his head, and you scoff, opening your mouth to enlighten James on why you think this is a bad idea. Before you can say anything, Remus cuts you off, “Here’s your chance to tell him.”

You glance up to see Sirius walking through the library, and you resist letting out a lovesick sigh at how effortlessly handsome he is.

Your stomach plummets at the sight of a stunning girl effortlessly chatting with him. His laughter rings out, causing unease to settle in your stomach.

If he was close enough, you probably would’ve tried to eavesdrop.

Despite not knowing her name, you know she’s a Gryffindor; you’ve seen her in the common room. James nudges you, and when you glance at him, he sends you a knowing look.

"Glad to see you guys are having study dates without Peter and me." Sirius calls, settling into the seat next to James and patting him on the shoulder in greeting.

Relief washes over you as you notice that the girl who was with him a second ago is long gone. He glances over at you, and pauses in surprise at your disgruntled expression, "You okay?"

Remus chuckles at the question, finding the harsh look you shoot James hilarious. It’s clear that he’s finding this entire situation entertaining.

“Ask James about what he told Lily.” You say, voice strained with irritation. James sends Sirius a nervous smile, and Sirius looks at him oddly.

"What'd you do?"

Sirius asks, his eyes darting back to you, taking note of your frustrated expression. Your stomach tightens with nerves, scared of Sirius’ reaction. Remus leans back in his chair, excited to see how this will all play out.

"Lily and I were talking today," James sighs, "and she wouldn't stop going on about how she thinks Y/n is in love with me and that it's not fair for me to flirt with her because I could be hurting her."

"She thinks I'm in love with you?" You shriek, oblivious to the barely visible flinch on Sirius' face at James' words. Remus catches it, his grin getting bigger.

James ignores you, “Anyways, I said that it’s not a problem because you and Y/n are dating.” James finishes cautiously, his gaze locked on Sirius, curious for his reaction. Your breath is caught in your throat, your eyes fixed intently on Sirius, awaiting his reaction as well.

"You told Lily that Y/n's my girl?" Sirius inquires casually, causing your stomach to somersault at his words. You force yourself to focus on James instead of the warmth creeping into your skin.

"I panicked, and that's what came out. So, if you guys could pretend you're madly in love, that would be great!" James claps his hands together, and you feel the urge to wack him. You're prepared to snap at him, to explain why asking this of you both isn’t right.

But then Sirius shrugs, "Sure, shouldn't be too hard, right, sweet girl?" He says, and your legs feel like jelly.

You're floundering, not having expected Sirius to agree. He’s never maintained a steady relationship, so pretending that he’s dating you is a big ask. His agreement sends your mind spiraling with different scenarios. For a brief second, you wonder if he agrees so easily because he has feelings for you. But you quickly shut down that thought.

You’re delusional. You truly are.

"Sure, that shouldn't be too bad." You agree, hoping you appear casual about this.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"I need you two to amp it up. Lily is eating breakfast with us today." James directs, causing you to glance up from your breakfast, disbelief etched into your features. He takes a bite of bacon and casually observes you as though his request is perfectly normal.

"We've switched spots, is that not enough for you?" You ask sarcastically, and Remus shakes his head, wearing an entertained smile as he continues eating breakfast. He can tell you're panicking about pretending to be with Sirius; it’s painfully obvious to everyone at the table.

You're usually seated between James and Peter, but when you attempted to slide into the seat this morning, James slammed his hand down on the seat and instructed you to sit next to your boyfriend, wearing a smug smile. Peter snorted softly but quickly replaced it with a sympathetic smile, silently apologizing for his reaction.

"I mean, we all know Sirius is into PDA, and you look terrified to even be sitting next to him." Peter points out, and you find yourself scrabbling.

Were you two supposed to be super affectionate? Would Sirius find it weird if you initiated it? Questions are flooding your mind leaving you feeling overwhelmed.

"I am not terrified. I just don’t know how to act." You insist.

"Act like you’re in love with him; it shouldn’t be too hard, right?" James quips, earning a glare from you. He responds with a playful wink.

"The boys are right. You need to sit closer to me.” Sirius declares as his arm slips around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You squeak his name in surprise, flustered at how easily he moves you. The boys chuckle at your bewildered expression, finding your embarrassment hilarious.

You feel disappointed when he releases you. Even more so when he doesn't pull you flush against him. Instead, your shoulder to shoulder, the distance between you both feeling more pronounced than ever.

"I'm still waiting on the PDA." Remus says with a playful smirk; his eyes are full of mischief when you glance at him.

You elbow Remus in the side, and he playfully nudges you back, causing you to bump into Sirius' side. Sirius surprises you by wrapping his arm around you, keeping you against him while playfully calling out, "Oi, back off, mate." Being pressed against his side causes warmth to spread through you as you lean further into him.

James watches as Sirius's cheeks flush, a soft smile on his face as he gazes down at you. You appear flustered but content, being so close to him, and James can't help but grin at the two of you.

"We're not going to be all over each other." You say, attempting to distract yourself from the fact that you’re pushed up against Sirius.

"Why not?" James leans forward with a grin, clearly finding everything about this entertaining. “That is what most couples do. Plus, Sirius openly flirts with everyone. But he won’t kiss his own girlfriend? It’s not believable.”

“Merlin, we should have talked about this last night.” You mumble under your breath, and Sirius chuckles beside you. He's entirely at ease. It doesn’t seem like he has any worries about pretending to be your boyfriend. With that observation, you try not to let your worries spiral out of control.

"Listen, we can do whatever you're comfortable with. If you don't want to kiss, then we don't have to," Sirius tells you gently, "but it would be sort of odd for us not to be somewhat affectionate."

The last thing he wants to do is make you feel uncomfortable. But there's a rush of exhilaration at the thought of holding you close and calling you pet names that were once off-limits. And the thought of possibly kissing you?

Surviving that would be inconceivable for him.

"You're right," You nod. “Let's just start off slow. It will be weird if we're all over each other today when we didn’t even sit together yesterday."

"Yeah, yeah! Flirt, be a little touchy, throw some cute pet names in here, will you, Sirius?" James calls out with great enthusiasm. You send him a look that you hope he understands as shut the fuck up. He doesn’t acknowledge your discomfort. Instead, he makes a heart shape with his hands, which adds to your annoyance.

Sirius presses a quick kiss to your temple, “Fuck off, mate. I know how to flirt with my girlfriend, right baby?” You freeze, your eyes widening in disbelief, while the boys laugh at your reaction. How exactly were you supposed to survive this?

You fall into a comfortable silence, happy to enjoy your breakfast as James issues his warnings to the boys, ensuring they behave themselves. Remus, with a subtle eye roll, acknowledges James's words while Peter nods emphatically in agreement. While, Sirius simply outlines every embarrassing memory he plans to share with Lily.

“Y/n, get your man in check.’ James complains in mock irritation, throwing a grape at Sirius, who dodges it.

"Good morning." Lily greets quietly. You all turn to see her approaching, her expression a mix of embarrassment and hesitance, as if she's debating whether to turn around and go to her usual spot down the table.

James abruptly stands up, his hip thumping into the table. He stifles a wince, trying to maintain his composure as he greets Lily, who tries unsuccessfully to suppress a smile at his reaction. Remus cringes and turns back to his breakfast, unable to look at James.

"Y'ready for this?" Sirius leans in, his voice lowered to a hushed tone meant only for you, effectively pulling you away from eavesdropping on James and Lily's conversation. You glance up at him, surprised to find you’re a mere inches away from him.

You're so close that you could individually count each of his eyelashes if you wanted.

You still feel the warmth of his breath mingling with yours, creating an intimate connection between the both of you.

It feels like a magnetic pull draws you closer, tempting you to tilt your head forward and touch his lips with yours. The urge to kiss him is so strong that it nearly knocks the breath from your lungs.

You clear your throat, attempting to push the thought from your mind. "I think so. We're newly dating, so don't go overboard with it." You remind him, a gentle smile playing on your lips.

“When have I ever gone overboard with anything in my life?” The smile he gives you is teasing, and it makes your heart pound to have him this close, his eyes sparkling as he smiles at you.

You hum softly in response, “I can think of quite a few times.”

His voice carries a flirtatious tone, “Can you?”

“Good morning, Lily.” Peter's gentle voice steals your attention away from Sirius. Disappointment and longing settle in his stomach as he watches you pull away and turn to greet Lily, that sweet smile now directed at her.

Lily settles between Peter and James. For a quick second, you feel a pang of jealousy because that's your spot. But when you notice James's pink cheeks and flustered expression, you forget all about it. All you want for James is for him to be happy, and having Lily near seems to do just that.

Breakfast goes smoothly. Lily fits seamlessly into your group, and you can tell it makes James giddy. He doesn't even mind not getting to talk to Lily much. He simply enjoys seeing the girl he's so hopelessly infatuated with getting along so well with his best friends.

You and Sirius aren't acting much differently than you normally do, just sitting close to each other and chatting. However, when Lily turns to you and Sirius, a wave of nervousness washes over you.

“I was so excited to hear you guys were together!”

"Oh yeah? So you can finally go for James with a clear conscience?" Sirius grins, teasing Lily, who looks thoroughly embarrassed. You nudge Sirius in the side, and he responds by giving your hip a gentle squeeze. James sends Sirius an incredulous look, which he pointedly ignores. While Remus and Peter chuckle at the playful banter.

Lily tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and clears her throat; her cheeks tinged with a hint of pink. "Uh, no, just that you two have obviously had feelings for each other for years. Everyone knew."

You're at a loss for words. Is that really what people thought? Clearly, they read you right, but you weren’t sure what to think about Sirius having feelings for you. Maybe he did, or maybe they were mistaking it for how he constantly flirted with you. But that was just how Sirius was; it didn’t necessarily mean he had romantic feelings for you.

"Haven't gotten her out of my head since the day I met her." Sirius says casually, his right elbow resting on the table as he pops a piece of bacon into his mouth. His other arm remains securely wrapped around your waist, holding you close to his side with a gentle yet firm embrace.

You look at him in shock, your eyes widening at his unexpected confession. Even the boys look slightly startled at Sirius' words, their eyes darting between you and him.

“That’s so sweet.” Lily says softly, her eyes glowing with genuine happiness as she sends you a warm smile. The sight tugs at your heartstrings but also stirs up guilt in the pit of your stomach. Lying always made you feel uneasy like a weight was pressing down on your chest.

"Sirius, I can't believe you thought that she—" Lily begins, her voice trailing off as James interjects, his interruption tinged with a hint of urgency.

"Okay, love! I think I should walk you to class, don't y' think?" James stands up from the table, extending his hand towards Lily.

Lily looks slightly confused, but she takes his hand nonetheless. As they walk away, James glances back and sends a wink in Sirius' direction. Your attention immediately shifts to Sirius, curiosity written all over your face as you’re about to ask about Lily's interrupted comment.

Sirius cuts you off before you can ask, shaking his head with a gentle smile and flushed cheeks, "Don't even bother asking; I’m not telling you what she was talking about.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You’re curled up next to Peter on the common room couch, both of you chatting quietly together. For the last twenty minutes, he has been feeding you details about the Ravenclaw girl he has a crush on. He's sworn you to secrecy. Hoping for your advice on asking her out without enduring the teasing of the rest of the Marauders. Your gasp of excitement nearly gives away the secret, but you quickly compose yourself, offering a reassuring smile to Peter.

"Who is she?" You ask, excitement laced in your voice, but Peter sends you an apprehensive look.

"I'm going to keep that to myself. Your squeal almost let the boys know.." He teases, though his tone also carries a note of seriousness.

A laugh escapes you, "I promise when you’re ready to tell me I’ll be so careful about keeping it a secret."

"Oi! Are you two sharing secrets over there?" James calls out, his voice immensely curious. He’s sat with his back to the flickering flames, his palms flat against the floor as he leans back on them. Peter tenses beside you, but you maintain an easy smile. Remus and Sirius are lounging in the armchairs nearby, their attention piqued by the exchange.

"All my deepest darkest secrets." You tease, flashing James a grin. He furrows his brow and sits up, clearly riled up by your response.

“Y/n, as your best friend, I better know all these secrets.” James lips are pouted, his expression tinged with a hint of concern, as if he's genuinely worried that you and Peter are sharing secrets that he doesn’t know.

James has always been fiercely protective of your friendship. Despite being close to the boys, your bond with James was stronger. There was nothing that the two of you didn't confide in each other; he honestly did know all your secrets.

“You do.” You smile reassuringly, and James's expression breaks into a satisfied grin.

The boys continue their soft conversation by the crackling fire, the warm glow casting flickering shadows across the room, while you and Peter sit in comfortable silence. Both of you are lost in thought as you relax in the cozy atmosphere.

After stifling a good five yawns, you glance at the time and decide it's probably best to head to your room, the quiet of the common room signaling just how late it had gotten.

You inch closer to Peter, before finding the courage to lean over and envelop him in a friendly hug, your arms wrapping around his shoulders.

He's momentarily taken aback, his body tenses at your touch, but soon he relaxes, reciprocating by wrapping you in his arms. It's a gesture that feels somewhat out of character for you, but after he trusted you with his secret, it seems like the most natural thing to do, a silent affirmation of support for him.

"I think I'm going to go to bed." You tell him softly, "But I promise we'll talk more tomorrow."

“I’d like that.” He smiles at you as you pull away. You grab your bag and make your way in the direction of the stairs.

“Goodnight boys!” You call out softly over your shoulder before disappearing up the stairs. Sirius watches you go, his gaze lingering on your figure, his thoughts full of you long after you've left the room.

Ever since you moved to hug Peter, his eyes have been on you, curiosity and jealousy settling in his stomach.

"Why the hell did you get a hug?" Sirius asks, his tone laced with bitterness as his gaze shifts to Peter, who appears taken aback by Sirius’ sudden question. Remus and James exchange amused glances, before they refocus their attention on Peter, waiting expectantly for an explanation to ease the tension.

“I don’t know, she just hugged me.” Peter squirms uncomfortably in his seat, his confidence quickly dwindling as he's put on the spot.

Sirius nods slowly, his lips pursing in contemplation. His carefully measured tone betrays the longing and a hint of possessiveness that he struggles to conceal, "What were you guys talking about over there?"

Remus interjects with a teasing tone, "Careful, Pads. You sound jealous." A playful glint dances in his eyes as he notices Sirius' furrowed brows and the discontent on his face.

“He’s got the boyfriend role down.” James quips, and Sirius sends them both a glare.

“I’m not jealous,” Sirius repeats quite grumpily. “I just don’t understand why Peter got a hug, and we didn’t.”

James barks out a laugh while Remus shakes his head, a chuckle escaping him in sheer disbelief.

"You're jealous because you have feelings for her." James states matter-of-factly.

Sirius begins to shake his head in denial, but Remus promptly interjects, his voice firm and unwavering, "’Haven't gotten her out of my head since the day I met her.’ What the fuck was that then?” Remus repeats Sirius’ words from the other day, perfectly mimicking his tone.

James bursts into laughter, the sound hearty and infectious, while Peter offers a small smile, observing Sirius as he struggles to respond.

“Not to mention, you’ve been staring Peter down ever since Y/n touched him.” Remus remarks while Sirius gazes blankly at him, his expression unreadable as he nervously chews on his bottom lip.

“You really have.” Peter adds with a grimace.

“You like her, mate.” Remus concludes, his words carrying a sense of finality that lingers in the air.

Sirius sighs heavily.

The conversation weighs heavily on him as he sinks down in the armchair, his brow furrowed in deep thought. The boys’ words replay in his mind. He was jealous, and he did like you. He already knew all of this. But he had always been cautious around you, mindful of the unspoken boundaries because of your friendship with James. A nagging worry in the back of his mind that James would be against any relationship between the two of you. James was his greatest friend, and he worried he could lose him if he attempted to go for you. The idea of James being unfazed by a romantic relationship between you and Sirius threw him off balance. It vastly differed from the scenarios he had envisioned, where James would react with fierce anger upon learning of Sirius' affection for you. The realization left Sirius feeling torn. Did that mean he could actually go for you?

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

As the air is warm and balmy, birdsong emanating from the trees while the leaves rustle in the gentle breeze. The sun casts everything in a golden haze, letting you know summer is near. The boys are certain of their decision: today is the perfect day to spend at the lake.

Laughter and chatter echo across the shimmering waters as the boys swim around the lake, reaching where you’re draped over a soft towel next to Lily. You have been trading gossip back and forth for the last couple of hours. It’s refreshing since usually you’re glued to the boys’ sides. You were constantly in the company of at least one of the four.

You feel a twinge of regret in your chest, realizing you haven't made an effort to have a close friendship with the girls. And you really should have. It wasn't a deliberate choice; James had always been your go-to person. Then, when you met the boys, you naturally formed close bonds with them, too. The thought of branching out and making more friends never really crossed your mind.

Though you value your friendships with the boys, you decide you desperately need to spend more time with the girls. The possibility of James and Lily getting together has you hopeful.

“You realize Sirius can’t take his eyes off you, right?” You choose to remain silent, only giving a shrug, fully aware that Sirius is merely pretending to be in love with you. To his credit, he's played the part convincingly throughout the entire week. There have been moments when you've found yourself questioning the authenticity of his actions, wondering whether his affection is genuine or merely his acting skills.

For someone who hasn’t had much practice with relationships, he possessed an innate ability to treat you like you were the only girl in his world. Whether it was a reassuring hand on your lower back as you maneuvered through the crowded halls, a tender kiss planted on your forehead when you parted ways, or the subtle exchange of flirty smiles whenever your eyes met across the room.

Sirius' laughter drifts over from the lake, reaching your ears, and a subconscious smile graces your lips. Lily must have seen your reaction, “Merlin, you really like him, don’t you?”

It was driving you to the brink of obsession. If this was the experience of being Sirius' girl, you wanted it more than before.

Despite your efforts to contain it, a sigh slips from your lips, "Yeah, I really do."

Confessing this feels uncomfortable. You've never talked to anyone about the depth of your feelings for Sirius, and now you're doing so under the guise of a fake relationship. You had come close to telling James, but you really didn’t need to. He had an uncanny ability to read you like an open book. Guilt churns in your stomach once more as you think about lying to Lily. What will her reaction be when you reveal that you and Sirius were never actually together?

The silence lingers for a few moments before you gently break it, "What were you about to say at breakfast the other day? Before James interrupted?"

Lily's expression shifts from confusion to excitement, her eyes lighting up, “Oh, in Charms! I finally wrangled it out of Sirius that he had feelings for you. But he insisted that nothing was ever going to happen because you didn’t like him back.”

It feels like you've been plunged into a tub of cold water. Your mind goes momentarily blank, a surge of disbelief flooding your senses as you struggle to comprehend Lily's words. Your body freezes in place, grappling with what this could possibly mean. There’s no possible way you heard her correctly.

“What? When was this?” Your voice escapes breathless and startled, yet Lily appears oblivious to it.

“Just a couple of weeks ago! I’m so glad he finally told you how he felt.” Lily smiles sweetly before laying back on her towel. If she notices you’re in a state of shock, she doesn’t say anything.

You hear a whistle, and no surprise, your best friend throws himself between you and Lily, “Don’t you two look pretty!”

Lily gasps as James leans down, playfully pressing his lips against her cheek, his hair dripping water onto her. Though she protests, you both can tell she doesn't truly mind it.

As James and Lily become wrapped up in their own world, you find yourself drifting back to the conversation from a moment ago. Your mind spins, still muddled by Lily's words. Sirius had feelings for you. Why hadn't he spoken up? Did he not want anything to come of it?

Your heart nearly stops when Sirius drops down and hovers over you, his hands propping him up on either side of your head. You barely register that he's shirtless and above you just before icy water cascades from his hair onto your skin. A startled cry escapes you as the cold droplets trickle down your cheeks, tracing a chilling path along your neck and chest.

“Sirius Black!” You had intended to sound angry, but laughter slips past your lips, betraying your emotions. Sirius grins at your reaction, his eyes trailing down from your eyes to shamelessly check out the bikini top you have on.

The boys had been teasing him relentlessly after witnessing how he practically fell to his knees when you walked into the common room wearing a bikini top and tiny denim shorts. You were oblivious to his gaze, heading straight for Lily and conversing about who knows what.

He couldn't tear his eyes away from you all day.

He feigns ignorance as you whine at him, responding with a sweet smile instead, “What, sweet girl?”

"Get off!" You squeal, though your tone lacks any real irritation. Deep down, you’re secretly enjoying having him so close, enveloping you in his presence.

“Whatever you want, sweet girl.” He mutters as he rolls off of you, repositioning himself so he's sitting behind you. With a gentle tap on your shoulder, he prompts you to sit up, then guides you until your back hits his chest. Once you're settled, he loosely wraps his arms around your shoulders before placing a kiss on your head.

Remus catches your eye as he and Peter make their way to their towels. Unlike Sirius and James, they hadn't hurried over to you and Lily. Instead, they took their time, chatting lazily while the sun warmed their skin. Remus sends you a sly, suggestive glance, and you respond by narrowing your eyes at him playfully.

Sirius and Remus engage in their own conversation, their voices blending into the background as Peter gestures for you to follow him. Sirius protests lightly, his eyes following you as you pull away from him to walk down to the lake with Peter.

You're gone for no more than twenty minutes, offering Peter advice on establishing a friendship with the girl he likes, perhaps making it easier for him to ask her out in the future.

Despite Remus' attempts to draw him back into the conversation, Sirius remains preoccupied, his gaze fixed on you until you eventually return and settle onto the towel beside him, seeking the familiar comfort of his presence. Only then does Sirius relax, draping his arm around you protectively.

He despises the twinge of jealousy that creeps in every time Peter has you to himself.

“Mate, you’re fucked.” Remus chuckles, and you assume it's due to something amusing said during their conversation. Sirius simply rolls his eyes and playfully extends his middle finger in Remus' direction, a gesture of mock annoyance that elicits a smirk from both of them.

The rest of the afternoon is spent wrapped up in Sirius as you chat with your friends and bask in the sun.

You spend the remainder of the afternoon draped over Sirius, basking in the warmth of the sun as you chat with your friends. It's been a while since you've felt so at ease.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

After lounging by the lake all afternoon, the thought of cleaning up for a party you had little interest in attending felt like an unnecessary chore. However, after an hour of James' persistent pleading, you eventually gave in and agreed to go. You were confused about why he insisted on your presence, especially when he'd be busy spending the evening with Lily. You couldn't help but think you could have been snug in bed with a good book instead.

“How long do you think it will take before they get together?” You turn to Remus, who is leaning against the wall next to you. He wasn't thrilled about coming tonight, either. The full moon was approaching, and he could already feel the effects beginning to take hold.

You scan the bustling room, eager to catch a glimpse of James and determine Lily's proximity. Impatience simmers within you as you wait for them to get together. Their relationship seems overdue, and you’re desperate for it to happen, bringing an end to the relationship you and Sirius are forced to maintain. Though being Sirius' girlfriend has its perks, the artificiality of the situation weighs on your conscience.

After a lazy afternoon enveloped in Sirius' arms, you had returned to your room feeling unsettled. The comfort of being held by Sirius felt genuine, yet it was all fake, and that realization deeply unsettles you. The longer this relationship goes on, the more you worry about your heart being left in pieces at the end.

“Probably any day now. Why? You aren’t having fun being Sirius’ girl?” Remus asks, casting a knowing smirk in your direction. You huff and give him a playful nudge, causing his drink to slosh around in his cup. He chuckles in response, amused by your reaction.

"It's not that, and you know it." You respond, frustration evident in your tone.

Remus turns towards you, a genuine smile on his face this time, "You guys are doing quite the job of looking infatuated with each other."

You shoot him a warning look, sensing where the conversation is headed.

But Remus persists, his gaze steady, "You should consider telling him how you feel."

You scoff. "Absolutely not."

"Why not? What have you got to lose?"

You meet his gaze, incredulous, "Our friendship, for starters."

Remus shakes his head, "Do you really think Sirius would end your friendship? I doubt you could get rid of him if you tried."

You meet Remus's gaze, your brow furrowed with uncertainty, "Okay, maybe he wouldn't end our friendship. But things would definitely get awkward, and who knows where it could lead."

Remus offers a small smile, "Or it could go well. You could end up together."

You remain silent, the weight of Remus's words sinking in as you contemplate the idea of confessing your feelings to Sirius. Your stomach churns with anxiety at the mere thought of opening up to him. The fear of rejection and the potential fallout from confessing weighs heavy on your chest.

But Lily had shared with you that Sirius had opened up about his feelings for you. Maybe there was a possibility that confessing your own feelings might not be as far-fetched as you had assumed. Maybe being with Sirius wasn't entirely out of reach.

Remus observes the slight furrow in your brow as you chew on your bottom lip, a clear indication of your spiraling thoughts. The dim light of the common room highlights the unease on your face. "Do you want a drink?" He offers, his voice gentle and reassuring.

You pause, considering his offer, grateful for the distraction, "Yes, please." You respond with a small smile, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly.

As Remus leaves to fetch you a drink, you're left alone with your thoughts, the chatter and laughter of the crowded common room serving as a backdrop to your contemplation. Your eyes wander over the sea of bodies, each occupied with their own conversations and activities, creating a lively yet chaotic atmosphere.

“Y/n, hi!” You startle as Max Townsend stands beside you, his sudden presence catching you off guard. You recall being partners in Charms a couple of weeks ago, but beyond that, your interactions had been limited.

"Hey, Max." You greet with a soft smile, noticing how his shoulders relax slightly at your acknowledgment. He settles against the wall, his posture casual yet attentive, as if genuinely interested in chatting with you.

"I know we haven’t talked much since Charms, but I’ve been meaning to catch up with you." Max says, his voice earnest as he breaks the silence between you.

You're surprised by his remark, "You have?" You ask, genuine curiosity coloring your tone.

"Yeah! I enjoyed spending time with you." Max admits, his voice slightly shaky as he offers you a shy smile. You notice the faint blush coloring his cheeks, a sign of nervousness.

"I enjoyed spending time with you too! I don’t think I could have passed the last exam without your help." You respond sincerely, returning his smile with warmth. His face lights up at your words, visibly relieved.

He regains some confidence and continues, "Actually, Y/n, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade sometime?"

Your smile falters, and you feel a pang of guilt. You have the excuse of having a boyfriend, at least. It makes things a little easier for you. For a second, you debate if you should say yes, go on a date, and move past your feelings for Sirius. But then you think about Lily‘s words and how he might possibly like you back. Not only that but you’re supposed to be in a relationship right now.

You can't bring yourself to say yes; truth be told, you don't really want to, anyway.

"That’s really sweet of you to ask. But I’m dating Sirius." You reply though the words feel heavy on your tongue, wishing they were true.

Max looks taken aback, "Sirius Black?"

"Yes." You confirm, feeling a wave of discomfort wash over you; turning someone down is always an awkward and uncomfortable experience.

Max shakes his head, looking confused, "I didn’t know Sirius-"

"You didn’t know what, Townsend?" Sirius looks hard at him, slipping his arm around your waist and handing you a drink. "Here, baby, Rem said you wanted a drink."

You thank him quietly, settling into his side with ease. Glancing up at him, you notice Sirius isn't looking at you; his gaze is fixed on Max. His jaw clenches tightly, and his usual friendly smile is absent. The message to Max is clear: back off, she's mine.

Max looks uneasy, eyes darting from you to Sirius, “Uh, I didn’t know you and Y/n were together.”

“And why were you talking about that?”

“Uh,” Max looks at you briefly, his expression tinged with panic. He lets out a sigh, reminiscent of a child caught in the act and resigned to confessing. “I asked her out.”

Sirius' entire body tenses, his tone laced with mock curiosity, “Did you?”

He feels sick at the thought of you going on a date with another guy. Images flash through his mind – Max holding your hand on a walk through Hogsmeade, flirting with you over dinner, and the possibility of him kissing you goodnight before you head back through the portrait at the end of the night.

A surge of intense emotion floods him, an overwhelming desire to lash out, to throw a punch and convey the unmistakable message that you are off-limits.

But then the reality hits him: you're not off limits. You're perfectly single, and maybe you actually wanted to go out with Max. The realization sinks in, gnawing at him from the inside, intensifying the ache in his chest.

“But look, man, I didn’t know she was your girl! Honest.”

"Max, it's okay. Really." You interject gently, offering him a reassuring smile. Max nods frantically, clearly relieved, before hurrying off in the opposite direction and disappearing into the crowd of Gryffindors.

“What the hell was that?” You turn to Sirius, but he refuses to meet your gaze. Instead, he drops his arm from your waist and leans back against the wall, taking a long sip from his drink, his expression unreadable

“Playing the part of your boyfriend. You should go find James, he was looking for you.” His mutterings reach your ears, and your stomach clenches with irritation as hurt flashes over your features. He's never shut down before you, and it hurts your feelings deeply.

You don’t bother saying anything; instead, you scoff and walk away. Sirius’s eyes follow you the second you leave, watching as you walk away with a heavy feeling settling in his stomach.

Maybe he did need to express his feelings to you. There might be a chance that you felt the same way. And if you didn't, at least he would know and could attempt to move on from you.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“I think you need to check on Sirius.” James murmurs into your ear as you stand in the common room, waiting for Lily to join you. You're flanked by the boys, but Sirius is conspicuously absent.

You glance over at him, confused, “Why? Is he not coming down?”

“He bailed, said he isn’t feeling good.”

“He isn’t coming to Hogsmeade with us?” You all had meticulously planned your trip to Hogsmeade during the lake outing yesterday, discussing the shops you wanted to visit and the Butterbeer you couldn't wait to taste.

“Oh,” You mutter, “I’ll check on him and catch up with you guys then.”

You still harbor concern for his well-being, a lingering sense of care that remains despite the the frustration you feel about last night. You ascend the stairs, faintly catching Peter's inquiry about your destination and James' response that you won't be joining them anymore. You contemplate turning around, half-tempted to inquire with James about his statement, but decided against it, choosing not to waste your energy.

You're so deeply immersed in your thoughts as you walk through the hall that you don't even notice the sound at first.

The muffled noise filtering through the boys' dorm door catches your attention, causing you to pause in front of the door. You briefly entertain the idea that Sirius might be genuinely unwell, but skepticism lingers in your mind. The persistent groans don't quite fit the pattern of someone who's just sick.

You were on the verge of turning around, genuinely considering it, until you caught a muffled moan that distinctly sounded like your name.

You pause, questioning the authenticity of what you just heard, wondering if it was a figment of your imagination or if you truly heard your name. But then you hear it, “Fuck, Y/n. Feels so good.”

Your legs turn to jelly, the words coursing through your veins like an electric shock, leaving you feeling stunned and breathless.

Without a second thought or even a plan forming in your mind, you find yourself knocking on the door. Inside, you hear a muffled curse followed by shuffling before Sirius swings the door open nearly a minute later, clad only in pajama pants. His hair is tousled, his cheeks flushed, and he's breathing heavily. The surprise on his face is evident as he takes in your unexpected presence.

“What were you just doing?” Your words spill out more confrontationally than you intended, catching Sirius off guard. The surprise flickers across his face, evident in how his eyebrows knit together and his eyes widen slightly.

“Uh, I-” He glances back into his room, searching for a believable excuse among his belongings. Flustered, he struggles to come up with a convincing lie.

"Sirius," You press, and his eyes flicker back to you. He appears guilty, aware that you've caught on. "I just heard you." You add, your tone that is firm but not accusatory.

“Merlin, Y/n. I’m sorry I-” He stammers, his heart sinking into the pit of his stomach at the mere thought of you possibly feeling disgusted with him or worse, refusing to remain his friend because of what he’s just done.

“What were you thinking about?” You ask instead, taking a deliberate step closer to him. The room feels charged with tension, and you can sense Sirius's unease. His breath hitches as your presence draws nearer, his eyes flickering with a mix of apprehension and anticipation.

He glances over your shoulder, his gaze flicking to the empty hallway outside before he answers, “You.”

“Me?” You take a tentative step closer, your voice barely a whisper compared to before, its tone huskier, laden with curiosity and perhaps a hint of intrigue. You fix him with a daring look, a glint of challenge in your eye, as if silently daring him to take action.

He remains silent, his gaze fixed on you for a fleeting moment before he takes action, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the dorm without a word.

As soon as the door shuts, he presses you against the door, his movements swift and urgent. You let out a gasp in surprise, feeling the sudden shift in atmosphere as Sirius's intensity envelops you. His eyes, usually filled with mischief, now bore into yours with a mixture of seriousness and vulnerability.

“Y/n. Why did you knock on the door?”

You don’t answer at first, your eyes locked with his for a few heartbeats before you let out a sigh, “Because I heard you say my name, and now I know you want me the same way that I’ve always wanted you.”

Sirius doesn’t hesitate, his lips meeting yours with a sense of urgency that sends a shiver down your spine. The moment his touch connects with yours, you exhale softly, feeling the warmth of his lips against yours. With gentle pressure, you draw him closer, your arms wrapping around his shoulders while Sirius’ embrace envelops you, pulling you closer as if he never wants to let go.

He initiates with a tender kiss on your lips, then gently nibbles on your bottom lip, eliciting a gasp. Seizing the opportunity of your parted lips, he intensifies the kiss, pressing forcefully into your mouth. Sirius kisses you as if each moment is the first and last time, molding you into pliancy. You willingly surrender, allowing him to kiss you into a state of blissful oblivion.

As he withdraws, a soft whimper escapes your lips in protest. He casts a questioning glance your way as he lifts the hem of your shirt, and you respond with a nod of affirmation. Slowly, he peels it off of you and lets it drop at your feet. Shamelessly, he admires your breasts and how they sit so pretty in your black bra. For a moment, the thought of apologizing for the simple garment crosses your mind, but the way his gaze lingers on you halts any inclination to do so.

He leans down, pressing kisses and nipping at the exposed skin on your neck and trailing his way down to your chest. It steals your breath away, prompting you to weave your fingers through his hair as you tilt your head back, reveling in the sensation. He's murmuring praises against your skin, ranting about how beautiful you are, how sweet your moans are, and how you drive him crazy. Your heart pounds within your chest, and for an instant, you fear its thunderous rhythm might betray you, considering how near he stands.

“Take it off.” In a hushed tone, you speak, prompting Sirius's gaze to swiftly rise and lock with yours.

He encircles you with his arms, quickly undoing your bra, and you deftly push the straps down, allowing the garment to cascade down, unveiling your skin. Swiftly, you toss it into the growing pile that appears to be taking shape by the door.

Sirius gazes intently, his bottom lip captured between his teeth, and a subtle furrow forms between his eyebrows, “Fucking hell, y’have the prettiest tits I’ve ever seen.”

Before you can utter a word, his mouth is on your breasts. Pressing the softest kisses onto your nipple before gently biting it, causing your breath to hitch. He bends down, mirroring the gesture with the other one.

His hands, possessively grip at your hips, act as anchors, momentarily keeping you in place. However, a growing restlessness takes hold, and you start to squirm, a subtle plea for more of his attention. Silently comprehending your unspoken desire, he wordlessly responds. A gentle tug on your hand is all the communication needed, and without a moment's hesitation, you obediently follow his lead.

Guiding you, he directs you to settle onto his bed, a silent request you readily heed. Your legs dangle over the edge of the bed as you rely on your elbows to bear all your weight.

Sirius kneels in front of you, easily slipping off both of your shoes and tossing them to the side. He reaches up, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your skirt before tugging it down and off of your legs. You’re left in a pair of gray panties that easily show how soaked you are for him.

He pushes on your knees until your legs are completely spread for him, and he can get a clear view of your soaked underwear. A hushed curse escapes his lips, the words slipping out quietly as his gaze lingers on you.

“You’re fucking stunning. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. To deserve you.” You bask in his words, your body thrumming with warmth and delight as his sweet sentiments wash over you.

He glances up at you, and he nearly loses it right then and there. You’re watching him through hooded eyes, your pupils dilated wide, a silent reflection of your anticipation and desire. He doubts he could ever erase the image of the way you're gazing at him, etching it into his memory with the fervent wish to witness it for the rest of his days.

He caresses his hands along your thighs, fingers gently squeezing and kneading with each pass. Occasionally, he leans down, planting tender kisses on your sensitive skin, each one a whispered promise of affection. The closer he gets to your core, the more you squirm and let out soft whimpers.

“Can I take your panties off?” He asks, glancing up at you from between your thighs. The pad of his thumb brushes against your clit, and you jolt in surprise.

A gasp escapes your lips as you're overtaken by the sensation, yet swiftly, you find yourself nodding frantically in response, “Please.”

Overrun with desperation, Sirius pulls at them with such fervor that they nearly tear as he tugs them off. You can't help but giggle at his fervor, amused by his frantic actions and the unmistakable look of pure desire written across his face. He wouldn't be surprised if he was drooling, staring the sight of your glistening pussy.

“I want to be inside of you.” He declares, standing up from the floor, leaning over you to firmly grasp your jaw before capturing your lips in a heady, intoxicating kiss. The moan that escapes you sounds so foreign, so unlike yourself, that it catches you by surprise, leaving you momentarily taken aback. You don't bother vying for dominance, allowing him to take control of the kiss. He withdraws from you leaving your chest heaving and breaths coming in ragged gasps.

“Take your pants off.” You demand, reaching desperately for the band of his pajamas to shove them off. Sirius beats you to the task, swiftly shoving them off himself in a display of impatience.

“Sirius.” Drool pools in your mouth at the sight of him. Long, thick, and pretty. Your lips part slightly, and you look up at Sirius in surprise, caught off guard by him. For a fleeting moment, you sit there, eyes locked, contemplating whether you'll be able to take him or not. He’s bigger than anyone you have ever been with before.

Sirius doesn’t let you stare for too long before his fingers are sliding through your soaked folds and brushing over your clit. Whimpers and moans tumble past your lips as Sirius rubs firm circles over you to get you adjusted before dipping down and pressing two fingers into you. A cry escapes you at the intrusion, and your hand instinctively reaches down to grip his bicep firmly.

Sirius startles you by leaning down and pressing the softest kiss to your clit, before licking you the bundle of nerves softly. Your body tenses with pleasure, hands gripping the sheets beneath you.

“I’ve always wanted to taste you.” He confesses a surge of heat courses through your body, igniting every nerve ending as you absorb his words. He doesn’t waste another second before leaning down and gently sucking on your clit.

"Please don't stop." You plead softly, and Sirius complies, continuing with unwavering determination. He nips and sucks, licking through your folds and holding your thighs open for him. His fingers continue to slide in and out of you; the sounds you’re making are obscene.

You’re struck by the thojught that this doesn't compare to any other times that you’ve been eaten out. But maybe it's not just his technique that feels good; it might be the fact that its Sirius who’s between your legs.

Your thighs tremble, and a euphoric sensation begins to build up in your stomach, making it feel like you are floating on a delightful high.

“Sirius, I need you.” You gasp sharply, your fingers instinctively tugging on his hair, signaling for him to ease up. You wanted to come together for your first time, as cheesy as it may have been.

As he rises to his feet, your eyes meet, and contagious, goofy smiles spread across both of your faces. In this shared moment, a mutual understanding passes between you—acknowledging the absurdity of the situation yet reveling in the fact that there's nowhere else you'd rather be.

You watch as he wraps his hand around himself, dragging his hand up and down a few times. He whispers for you to scoot back until your head rests against the pillow, and with a gentle nod, you comply. He follows suit, settling on his haunches before you, creating a comforting, intimate space between you both.

“Y’ready?” He asks in a hushed tone, leaning in to hover over you, and at that moment, a rush of memories floods your mind, reminiscent of yesterday by the lake. You're convinced you must look rather pathetic with the speed of your nod, but Sirius only responds with a sweet smile.

With a grip on his cock, he slides the tip through your slick, both of you sucking in a breath at the sensation. He gently pushes at your entrance. Sirius steals a glance up at you, silently seeking reassurance, and you respond with a simple nod and a warm smile, letting him know that everything is perfect. Sirius catches you off guard as he leans down, tenderly pressing the gentlest of kisses to your lips, a gesture filled with unexpected sweetness.

His gaze shifts, watching as he pushes his cock inside of you, letting out a string of curses as your pussy grips him tight, pulling him deeper inside.

“Fuck,” Gritting his teeth, he squeezes his eyes shut, breathing deeply through his nose, determined to regain control and prevent himself from losing composure. He’s sitting fully inside you, and he has to take a breather because you feel better than he could have ever imagined. The last thing he wants is for this to end as soon as it begins.

His voice sounds utterly shattered, “You’re so wet, fuck.”

You entwine your fingers in his hair, feeling the soft strands between your fingertips as you pull him closer, urging him to meet your lips with his own. The anticipation builds as his warm breath mingles with yours, creating an intimate connection before the gentle press of his lips against yours. Parting your lips, you deepen the kiss, and Sirius eagerly reciprocated.

“Sirius. Fuck me, please.” You exhale softly against his lips, and Sirius responds with a low, guttural groan of longing and desire.

He doesn’t waste any time before dragging his cock along the sensitive walls of your pussy, before thrusting back into you, “God, your pussy feels incredible.” The cry that escapes you resonates loudly in the room, and you're immensely grateful that everyone is out at Hogsmeade. The absence of others allows you the freedom to be as uninhibited as you are, knowing that the full dorms would never afford you the same level of privacy and volume.

“Feels so good.” You gasp, head rolling to the side, your cheek resting against the pillows. Sirius’ hands rest against the back of your thighs, holding your legs against your chest, giving a clear view of the way his cock is so seamlessly slipping inside of you.

He watches you, transfixed on the way your brows pinch together in pleasure, lips parting to let moans slip past. It's as if a dam has burst within Sirius, an unstoppable torrent of words and emotions pouring forth as he finds himself unable to contain everything he's been holding back.

“Fuck, you sound s’pretty, sweet girl,” The groan that leaves his lips is downright sinful. “Thought about this pretty pussy all day. Pretended to be sick just to get off to the thought of you.”

“Sirius.” You whine, reaching out to thread your fingers through his hair and pull him down to you. You’re soaked and aching, desperate for Sirius to fuck you faster. However, much to your disappointment, he remains insistent on maintaining a slow, teasing pace.

“Pictured, tugging that fucking bikini top down. Watching your tits bounce while I fuck you. Fuck, cumming all over them.” The whine that escapes you feels pathetic, and under different circumstances, you would've been embarrassed by it. However, given the situation you're in, embarrassment takes a backseat.

“I know, baby. I know.” He complies, adjusting his position so that his right arm supports him above you while his left hand gently traces your skin. Brushing over your nipples, trailing up and over your tits, before placing his hand loosely around the base of your throat.

“You’re fucking perfect,” He grunts, admiring how ruined you look for him. Your mascara smudged beneath your eyes from tears, and your lips swollen from his earlier kisses. He loved seeing you like this. Being the one to ruin you, to smudge your makeup and bring you to tears. “Taking my cock s’well.”

You’re incoherent, begging for Sirius to go harder, to fuck you faster. Hands pawing at his ass, desperately trying to bring him closer.

His hand squeezes your throat gently, “Tell me you want me to fuck you harder. C’mon love, wanna hear you beg for it.”

A smug grin tugs on Sirius’ lips as he watches you struggling to form words. You’re getting close if the way you’re squeezing him so tight and rolling your hips is any indicator.

But then a desperate, needy whine with the words he so badly wants to hear slips past your lips. Babbling about needing his cock and wanting him to ruin you. The second he hears your pleas, he thrusts into you harder, setting a brutal new pace that has you crying for him.

“I’ll give you anything you ask for, m’love.” He speaks so sincerely that you feel a surge of emotions welling up inside, an overwhelming urge threatening to bring tears to your eyes.

Overcome with your emotions, you reach for Sirius’ hand and interlace them together before Sirius presses your clasped hands into the sheets. His headboard thumps against the wall rhythmically.

“Need you to fill me up. Please.” You plead desperately, and Sirius curses, his voice rough and strained.

“Shit, that’s my girl. Want me to fill you with my cum?” It's the praise that pushes you over the edge. Your back arches, pressing your breasts into Sirius’ chest and your legs tremble.

“Doing so good f’me.” He’s close behind you. Your tight, wet walls clenching around him is what does it for him.

“Fuck, baby. Gonna cum. Fuck.” Sirius moans, burying his head in the crook of your neck as his hips stutter and you cry out at the feeling of his warm cum filling you up. You clench his hand tightly, your nails likely leaving imprints on his skin. A sob escapes your lips, and your fingers weave through his hair, a desperate attempt to draw him closer.

You both remain entwined, lost in each other's embrace as you gradually come down from the euphoric highs. The room resonates with the sound of your intertwined breaths, each one heavy and labored. Your body feels utterly slack, every muscle loosened, and you're so relaxed that you could easily doze off at any moment.

Sirius presses a couple of tender kisses against your neck, eliciting a satisfied hum from you. When he withdraws from you, a wince escapes you as you feel the separation, and Sirius’ eyes dart up to you in concern.

“Y’okay, sweet girl?”

“I’m okay, just sore.” You grace him with a sweet smile, and Sirius leans in, gently pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.

“Gonna get a towel, one second.” He assures you, rising from the bed and disappearing into the bathroom. You listen to the faucet running and the faint sounds of the cupboard opening and closing. Lying back, you gaze up at the ceiling, absently nibbling on your thumbnail until a smile breaks across your face at the thought of what just happened.

“Here, love.” Sirius says, sitting on the edge of the bed holding a washcloth in his hand. He’s got a fresh pair of pajama pants on, you didn’t even notice him grab clothes from his trunk, too lost in your thoughts.

Sirius gently grips your ankle, encouraging you to spread your legs. His breath hitches at the sight of his cum dripping out of you and onto his sheets, desperately hoping to see this sight again. He murmurs a curse under his breath, his touch gentle as he delicately uses the warm washcloth to clean between your thighs.

“There.” He whispers softly before aiding you to sit up. As you glance over, you notice the t-shirt and pajama pants laid out beside him, meant for you. Your heart swells with warmth as he assists you in slipping it over your head. With a grateful smile, you slide into the pajama pants. Meanwhile, Sirius utters evanesco to fix the sheets up, before joining you in bed.

“C’mere.” He beckons to you, sinking into the pillows, and you nestle against him, finding solace as you rest your head on his chest.

In the silence, you both relish the comfort of each other's embrace, enveloped in a cocoon of intimacy. Lost in contemplation, your mind wanders, grappling with what just happened and what that meant for the both of you.

"That wasn't just a one-time thing, was it?" You inquire, the hopefulness evident in your tone.

"No," Sirius responds, tilting your chin so you can meet his gaze. "I want you to be mine, for real this time."

The fluttering butterflies that dance through your stomach are overwhelming as you absorb his words. A lovesick grin spreads across your lips, unable to contain the rush of emotions coursing through you, “Then I'm all yours."

You settle back into Sirius, and his arms hold you against him. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest beneath your head lull you into a serene state, the sound of his steady heartbeat serving as a soothing lullaby that guides you into a peaceful sleep.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"I'm sorry, so you asked us to fake it not for Lily, but for Sirius and I to get together?" You gaze at James, confused, knitting your brows, while he sits opposite you at the table. Remus and Sirius are absorbed in their own conversation, and Peter is having breakfast with the girl he harbors a crush on. Despite their current status as friends, Peter seems overjoyed nonetheless.

James grins, casting you a smug look. "I mean, Lily genuinely thought you and I were a thing. At first, it really was because Lily thought we were together, but then I realized that this was the perfect way to get you and Sirius together.”

“James! So you lied to us?” You huff in disbelief.

James shrugs nonchalantly, his demeanor radiating an air of casual indifference, “You already knew I lied to Lily; what’s the difference?”

You sigh softly, "That's true, but what about you and Lily? Are you two getting together?"

James smiles, “We’ll get there eventually. This was more about you and Sirius. And before you start, yes, I’ll tell her the truth.” He sends you a pointed look, and you chuckle, already preparing to remind him to come clean to Lily.

"You're certifiably insane." You tease, exhaling a laugh.

“Well, it worked, didn’t it? You got the guy.” James watches with delight as a lovesick smile effortlessly graces your face before you steal a glance at Sirius.

"Oh, hey. Pick up your clothes next time you're napping with Sirius," He remarks casually, but the emphasis on the word napping lets you know that he's fully aware there was more happening than just sleep. "My shoe got tangled in your bra."

[randommultifandomrants]

Being a girl is pt.2: deciding you’ve read enough fics for the moment and swiping out of the app just to re-open tumblr or open wattpad/ao3

[cruel-seduction]

The bond between a girl and her favorite fictional man? That shit’s toxic, but in the best way. It’s this messed-up, all-consuming obsession where she’ll go to war for a man who doesn’t even exist—like, literally fight someone for talking shit about him. She knows he’s a red flag with legs, but she’s ready to unpack his trauma and let him ruin her life, because he gets her in ways real guys never could. He’s everything she wants and everything she should probably stay the hell away from, but fuck it. It’s not about logic; it’s about the fantasy of someone who’s so broken, they’d burn the whole world down just to love her.

It’s painful, because she knows he’ll never be real, but that doesn’t stop her from falling harder every damn time she opens the book, watches the show, or reads another fanfic. And yeah, it hurts like hell, but it’s a beautiful kind of hurt. The kind that makes her want to scream and cry and laugh all at once.

Because no real guy could ever compare to that kind of perfectly fucked-up perfection. (And cause he will fuck you till you can't think straight)