#it's feelings you have to examine
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Feeling unsafe is not the same as being unsafe and people are unable to distinguish between the two - you always have a right to be safe, but you do not necessarily have the right to always feel safe. This is an underlying theme in a lot of issues, like judging others' kinks, queerness, race, media analysis, and more; what the real heart of the problem is is unfamiliarity, things that people do not know and thus shrink away from in fear or disgust or discomfort. It can be a basic instinct to approach change and unfamiliarity with caution, but it needs to be an intentional act to challenge that fear/world view. It is something that we owe to the people around us, and that we owe to ourselves.
#I mean obviously this is not saying anything new#but often you will see people talk about feeling unsafe when strange and unfamiliar things are brought up#and they may feel unsafe but they are not *actually* unsafe#and they're not entitled to that feeling of safety over the existence of those unfamiliar to them#anyway that's the larger view of it and of owing that to others and ourselves in the name of human growth and development#but I started this post because I see it so much in media especially moreso nowadays#where I feel like media literacy is at an all time low#just because a movie evokes very strong and scary emotions doesn't mean it had a bad message or even was a bad movie#it's feelings you have to examine#this is about I saw the TV glow lol
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Words Collide
[First] Prev <--> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang fengmian#yu ziyuan#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Almost axed this comic but then I remembered I cut the previous argument between them and I guess they can have this.#and by 'this' I mean their toxic arranged marriage verbal battles.#As I previously mentioned in a comic I have chosen to see them as mlm and wlw in an unfulfilled relationship.#The yearning is for companionship. I think they do care for each other it's just something deeply complicated. And bitter.#I truly feel for JC and WWX in this scene because while it's implied YZY really pushes the limit...it's apparent this isn't new.#And it's so petty! Anyone who lived through a parent pitting you against a sibling can tell you that this stuff messed them up#regardless of what side you were on (the golden one or the fuck up).#It doesn't matter what is said. It matters that it was said at all. That you can't shake the concept once it was spoken.#The Jiang household is so much more miserable the deeper you examine what's going on and how they cope with it.#Knowing that a parent does not like you is just awful. I wish everyone who's been through it all the best. You didn't deserve that.#Next update is back to the jokes! Remember jokes? It jingled merrily...How I miss the sound of those bells...
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tumblr when mental illness makes you withdraw from company: nobody has the right to expect anything of you! take care of yourself! if they don't forgive you and act like nothing happened when you come back into the world, it's on them, not you! it's so very kind of you if you deign to try and overcome this for the sake of those annoying, awful people, but you don't have to if you don't want to! poor lamb!
tumblr when mental illness makes you need reassurance that people don't hate you: you should work on that. you should learn to compromise. expecting anyone on the other side to expend even a little bit of effort to help you is selfish and horrible. maybe just die actually
(NOTE: THE POINT HERE IS THAT BOTH SIDES DESERVE A DEGREE OF GRACE FROM OTHERS AND BOTH SIDES SHOULD WORK ON THEIR ISSUES. I hate that I have to explain it, but this is the Piss on the Poor website, so...)
#mental illness#no people are not entitled to instant responses every time you're online! that is true!#but people are also not entitled to consequence-free extended periods of straight-up ignoring their friends#if I have to understand that you're dealing with something (and I will!) you should at least try to understand that I am too#I just saw this post that was like 'okay well could you quickly tell me if I message you and you don't feel up to talking then?'#and the response was 'UM NO THAT'S STILL DRAINING AND YOU NEED TO EXAMINE WHY YOU FEEL ENTITLED TO IT'#like holy shit. shot down a suggestion of compromise immediately there#so basically a 'you do Lots of Work and I do Zero Work on this problem' situation. got it
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aaaa
#utmv#cross!sans#mblue art#criss cross applesauce <3 <3 <3#(puts this alternate thing from the fangs post on a separate one bc i like it...)#(guys im so normal about cross i swear) (lies)#'are you gonna be done soon...' - 'Yeah uh. Almost. Yes.'#(totally not continuing to examine his teeth uh huh)#(the cheek holding is totally not a mere distraction from the thumb that is tempted to trace the edges and feel how sharp the tooth is-)#(/totally/ totally not having a flushge moment abt the thought of leaning in and having a gay kiss in a dark closet- YEAH NO haha whaaat)#(also ???WOW that cross fangs post was a banger huh it got passed around lol the ppl rlly like fangs)
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so malleus is never beating the monster fucker bait allegations huh
#i have seen the baby picture#and i don't know how to feel#malleus draconia i would like to examine you under a microscope please and thank you#personal#twisted wonderland
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if you're wondering why I kind of abandoned this blog, there's several reasons (fandom just doesn't feel fun anymore, I'm trying to cut back on screen time, I've been feeling like my faith is in contradiction to what I see/read/interact with on here is for years and years now) but the final straw has been what I see on my dash every day about Israel/Palestine.
I keep seeing people I used to interact with and used to like now peddling conspiracy theories, debunked claims, inflammatory headlines, and even bloodthirsty rhetoric with tens of thousands of notes (when corrections of those posts get ~500 notes at best), and reacting to nuanced conversations like they're calls for hatred, all while turning a blind eye to the very literal vicious hatred or sheer ignorance in many of those big posts. The level of black-and-white thinking is so strong that we are wayyyy past 'us-vs-them,' we're in the kind of discourse where even 'know thy enemy' (being interested in understanding the opposing arguments even just so you can dismantle them) is considered hatred - people can't be bothered to know what they're arguing for or against, nothing short of plugging your ears and screaming for the death of the Bad People is enough. This is a wave of just about the most hypocritical, callous and uninformed 'activism' this website has ever been guilty of and it's too much. I'm done with this.
And yes, this is about antisemitism. You can all shout 'not antisemitic, just anti-zionist' all day long but you have done jack shit to prove you don't hate Jews beside chanting 'punch a nazi' in the same breath you use KKK slurs and cheer for groups that have 'curse the Jews' in their slogan. I trust none of you anymore.
#israel palestine conflict#israel hamas war#antisemitism#I should have taken a stand from the beginning and I was afraid to. makes me a pretty shitty ally I guess#I also didn't want to talk about current events on a fandom blog bc who am I to give my two cents?#and how can I justify having an opinion unless I back it up with constantly up to date and rigorously examined info#and how can I stop talking about current events once i've started? making my fandom blog no longer about fandom#I still don't know what the right thing to do is#I still don't think it's my place to speak out on much of what's going on in I/P because of how hard it is to be accurate and objective#but if I'm on any 'side' it's certainly not the side of the western 'activists'#i'm on the 'side' of the innocent people suffering in both countries and on the side of the jewish people you've made feel afraid#i'm on the side of life#you GLORIFIED TERRORISM AND SUICIDE
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You cannot claim to be anti-AI while still actively seeking out and using AI.
Once again.
You cannot claim to be anti-AI while still using generative AI, no matter the reason.
(Bold/italicized text: You cannot claim to be anti-AI while still using generative AI, no matter the reason.)
Even if you’re just using it to make fun of it or show how bad it is.
Even if it’s only for your personal use, and you don’t plan on sharing it with anyone.
Even if you’re “just” roleplaying on Character AI.
If you are willing to justify your usage of a system created and profiting off of stealing from artists and writers, a symstem that is destroying the Earth, then you were never as “against that system” as you think you were. Being anti-AI isn’t something that exists only in name. You can’t claim to be against AI if you are willing and able to use it as soon as it benefits you. You can’t say you’re for writers’ and artists’ rights if you’re using the very thing that is causing them harm. You can’t claim to care about climate change and saving the Earth if you are participating in the system that is destroying it.
There is no middle ground here.
There is no “Oh, but I-“.
If you have the knowledge of what generative AI is doing, of how it is hurting people, and you choose to use it anyway, you aren’t against it. You aren’t fighting against that system, you’re upholding it.
You can say how much you hate AI and how horrible you think it is, if you choose to use it anyway, then your actions and your words are not lining up, and the former reveals so much more than the latter.
Stop pretending like AI is something you can condemn only in name, while using it to your heart’s content in your free time. All it does it tells writers and artists that you don’t really care about us, and that any actions you claim to be taking to protect us are performative at best and lies or even outright malicious at worst.
You are—and I mean this in the kindest way possible, even with the fury that generative AI invokes in me—a complete and utter hypocrite. AI is not your friend. It is a tool, and it is a tool that steals from writers and artists in order to function. It is a tool that is using levels of energy and emitting amounts of polution in order to be maintained that are actively damaging the Earth. No matter how much you try to justify using it to yourself, that doesn’t change.
Stop hiding under the guise of being anti-AI while continuing to use it yourself.
#im not sure how many people on here are doing this#but there are a few people i know irl who have pretty much verbatim said to me how much they hate ai#and yet in the same breath justified their use of ai—particularly character ai—to me#so i figure its still worth it to point out anyway#hypocrisy is not cool folks!#it doesn’t make you look good it just makes you look like an asshole#i feel like this problem (of being anti ai and yet justifying its use) is the most prevalent in the use of character ai#because unfortunately i don’t think as many people are aware of how it steals from writers as people are of how ai art steals from artists#or if they are it seems as though the people ive seen talking about it simply do not care#if this made you angry maybe you should examine why you feel entitled to using something that steals from writers and artists#if you feel inclined to use ai#literally just do it yourself!#it doesnt have to be perfect or the best thing ever made#but the fact that you made it yourself makes it automatically infinity times better than any garbage ai could come up with#anti ai#fuck ai#fuck ai art#fuck ai writing#anti character ai#fuck character ai
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Every so often I come across people going on about 'queer is a bad word, I'm not a terf but we shouldn't use that word in community/academic/etc settings, don't call me queer' and just
Okay
You're not queer
I won't call you that, no one should call you that, and anyone that does is being an asshole regardless of their identity or minority status. It doesn't matter what reasoning you have behind not wanting to be labelled as queer, what trauma you may or may not have, what you've identified as in the past and present, and whether or not your preference just comes to not liking the vibe of the word for entirely inscrutible reasons. No one has any right to pry.
If you say you're not queer, then you're not queer, and that's okay.
It just also means that if I, a queer person, talk about the queer community, then I'm not referring to you. If an academic refers to queer history and queer texts written by queer people about other queer people, they're also not talking about you. If a corporation starts using 'queer' in their ads then they can eat shit because fuck 'em, they have no fucking right to use our words when they aren't and have never been one of us, but if a well-meaning ally uses 'queer' as a one-syllable shorthand for LGBTQIA+ in a verbal conversation, then there's no reason for you to get any more annoyed at them as you would if they used the word 'gay' instead.
You have every single right to be labelled or not labelled as you like, and I will stand behind you all the way. If someone is trying to shove 'queer' on you when you really don't want it? Then I will happily, metaphorically, deck them in the face for you. We are still family, whatever you choose to call yourself, and it's important that we stick together.
But
If you aren't queer, and you get frustrated when you see queer people talking about the queer community, take a deep breath, and consider:
They aren't talking about you
#ky stuff#grumble grumble grumble#i'm not going to go into any of the reasons that people could not want to use the word queer#because y'know what#they're valid!#and i trust people to know their own minds and emotions!#i'm not here to persuade you otherwise right now#or ask you to examine your feelings and double-check for terf brainworms#my current irritation is 100% people misunderstanding that when we go on 'queer is good actually' rants#we don't mean everyone needs to use it zero choice zero leeway you're all queer now#anyway fave LGBTQ+ verbal shorthand is 'alphabet soup'#or 'alphabet community'#*way* too casual for academia but very fun to say#also hello dear reader if you're this far into the tags and i still have your attention#please have this rat as a token of my gratitude -> ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ#(geddit?)#(gRATitude???)#(I'm Funny)
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"shen qingqiu is a liar who is lying about his feelings so we can't ACTUALLY tell how he feels about anything"
so you admit that you can tell he is lying and by extension you can actually discern what his true feelings on the matter are and that he's just unwilling to admit to them.
#svsss#shen qingqiu#i read fantl of a manhwa once where the translator changed a character saying “I hate that guy” to something to the effect of like#“I really like that guy but i don't know what to do with my feelings”#which was you know. just stating the intended subtext laid out very clearly by the story#however the translator said they thought it would be “confusing” and they didn't know why the author wrote that when it was untrue.#and i don't..... get it#like part of the appeal of subtext is letting your readers feel the excitement of being in on a secret#knowing something that even the characters don't know and feeling pleased with yourself#and adding a layer of frustration because you know what's REALLY happening and this idiot DOESN'T and keeps making decisions#that are logical when you examine their worldview of the situation!!!#but OBVIOUSLY DISASTROUS when you know what's actually going on.#and that's on purpose!!! you're supposed to be frustrated and feel your smugness turning into dawning horror#because you are omniscient but have absolutely fuckall power to do anything with that knowledge#and you have to watch blorbo ruin their fucking life.#more people need to have faith in their ability to interpret subtext#and more people need to have faith in the author's ability to write it intentionally
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reddit:
literally every other WOT viewer in the world:
#they've been saying this ever since the finale aired and it drives me CRAZY#have your personal opinions all you want but to say that 2x08 was objectively a weak episode is simply not correct#cinematography acting vfx choreography music EVERYTHING was at the absolute top of its game#and despite being an Exciting Battle Episode it was completely anchored in character moments & emotional resonance which is no easy feat#so much going on yet there was time for every major character to get a huge developmental/emotional beat#(yes even those like nynaeve whose beat was a loss rather than a victory)#every season arc was either wrapped up in an immensely satisfying way or was set up for a deeper examination next season#and 90% of the general audience absolutely loved it#and yet reddit acts like it's an Accepted Fact that it was poor quality#just bc the book-to-show changes in that episode weren't to THEIR PERSONAL taste#touch grass#wot#seeing as season finales will always have the biggest moments it's kinda inevitable that hardcore book fans#will always be the most sensitive to any changes made in those particular episodes#not to mention that the changes made in eps 1-7 will snowball and culminate in the finale#so i feel like finales are always gonna be judged the most harshly by readers#like if dumai's wells isn't an exact 1:1 recreation of the book version#readers are 1000000% going to flip their shit no matter how objectively good the show's version actually is#wot book spoilers#for the replies
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my favorite thing about mha has got to be how you can't tell if the writers are aware or not that the setting is in fact a corrupt police state
#like. it almost says something sometimes and then they back out of ittttt😭😭😭😭#I'm not keeping up with mha canon presently so I'm just thinking back on things#like. they have plenty of villain characters where it's like oh they're sympathetic and were clearly pushed into this life#by the narrow views of what is acceptable in society and the corrupt police state#AND THEY HAVE CORRUPT HEROES AND A CORRUPT ORGANIZATION SO LIKE. YOU KNOW IT'S A CORRUPT POLICE STATE THE WRITERS MUST KNOW#but then mha pulls fun shit with like. redeeming endeavor!! A CORRUPT HERO WHO GETS AWAY WITH THE SHIT HE DOES BECAUSE OF A BROKEN SYSTEM#while the ENTIRE rest of the todoroki family is like#“well obviously dabi sucks and is a monster and needs to be put away and can never be rehabilitated ever” 😐#AND LIKE. FINE. FUCKING REDEEM HIS ASS IF YOU WANT (BOOO HATE THAT BITCHHHHH) but don't then act like dabi is unsalvageable!!#both or neither babe!! nerf or nothing!!#like. do you guys get me. sometimes it feels like wow look at how much this corrupt society sucks#and sometimes it feels like yes we are going to not examine this at all#it's just. mha is so bad. it's so bad guys and it could've been good but it's bad#it could be so good if it was good but it's not it's just bad#it sucks its a stupid anime stupid manga fuck off
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My favourite genre of Ewan photos are ones where he is staring so hard down the lens that it feels like he's trying to break the camera with his mind
#feels like having your soul examined and your sins counted#He knows everything you have done and you are being judged for it#he's ready to cast you through the moon door
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YOU — “No. There is still a chance.”
DOLORES DEI — “You think so?” Her voice is weary.
EMPATHY — Everything about her is weary. She is the Innocence of weariness, of heroically borne suffering.
CONCEPTUALIZATION — That is the picture you have painted for yourself, at any rate.
YOU — “You looked back. That’s the memory, the moment, that I can’t stop returning to. You looked back. I had a chance, for just that moment…”
DOLORES DEI — She meets your eye, gaze still forever cast back over her shoulder. Time stops. The stars are stilled, the ocean silent. There is *nothing* beyond this memory. Nothing at all. All of infinity is contained in this single moment when anything and everything was possible.
“Oh, Harry…” She sighs, soft as eiderdown. “We never had any chance.”
And just like that, the wave of time collapses under its own weight, obliterating everything. This moment was six years ago. She is gone from here. Gone, gone…
PAIN THRESHOLD — You cannot leave. There was nothing outside of this moment, and now there is nothing at all. It’s all gone. There is no point. I’m sorry. I can’t do this any longer.
VOLITION — Please, don’t say that…
“Okay. Well, fuck me, then.”
“How would *you* know?! You gave up! You didn’t even try!”
“We *must* have had a chance, at some point… Doesn’t everyone get a chance, if nothing more?”
“How could you say that…?”
DOLORES DEI — “Because it’s true,” she says, matter-of-fact. “There is no moment in time that you can turn back to, no branching paths, no infinity. There is only what happened. I looked back… and then away.” She closes her eyes, turning her back to you.
“The moment ended. *We* ended. That is all.”
SHIVERS — A wave crashes against an unseen shore, ocean spray tickling the back of your neck. You shiver, but no one shivers with you. You are alone in this intersection. Why are you here?
“Why can’t *I* end?! Why can’t this all just stop? Please, make it stop…”
“Ended? I’ve barely even started! I got a chance to start completely over as somebody new! I don’t need you anymore! You’re just dead weight to me now.”
“No. That wasn’t the real ending. We’re a part of something so much bigger than this intersection, telling a story that encapsulates all of history! There’s *more* to this, it *means* something.”
“Then… What am I supposed to do now…?”
DOLORES DEI — “No, Harry.” She turns back to you again now, and she looks… sad.
“We were not metaphors. We were people. Our narrative was not intelligently designed. It simply followed the patterns of history, because those are the only patterns we *know.* We tried to create something new, but we failed. There is no narrative reward for our failure, no satisfactory ending. There is only the immutable past and the unknowable future.”
RHETORIC — There is no assurance of what is good or deserved or what may bring relief. There is no assurance of punishment, either. There is no assurance of anything. Not even of a future. I don’t know what to say to make this bearable.
VOLITION — Even so… As long as you live, *something* is promised. Can you live with that?
I can’t, I just can’t do this anymore…
I can. It’s enough.
I don’t know. I just don’t know.
I can at least try for a little longer…
VOLITION — That’s all I ask. That’s enough.
#disco elysium#harry du bois#dolores dei#suicide tw#ummmmm haha *twirls hair*#sorry this isn’t more of the dolores saga im really trying to get back into the swing of things 😭#this is smth that won’t make it into the saga but that i was thinking about nonetheless#im not too fond of the whole ‘’dora is literally dolores dei’’ thing tbh#i feel that the mundanity is what makes their story impactful#and also just. makes it feel like somebody is kinda going overboard on projecting onto their proxy ex. lmao 😭#idk like the metaphor gets a little TOO metaphorical for me. but that’s just my onion. im an rgu fan so who am i to judge#anyway this is more my take on the harry/dora story#which is that dora was Just Some Guy and ultimately we have to live w the fact that we’ll never get the full story#because she literally exited the narrative#we can speculate about what her and harry’s relationship was like and how much of the blame is on each of them#dora’s lack of class consciousness vs harry’s violent misogyny etc etc#and like. it’s not that there’s no value in examining those things bc there definitely is value in it#in examining what patterns you DO see repeating in your life and in the world around you#that is what politics is really… examining the system and all its moving parts#but ultimately the past is immutable… our perception of it changes as we gain new context and understanding but what’s past is past#and there is no way of knowing with any certainty what the future holds#that’s where the overlap of all of these political and personal conflicts is for me#and why it comes back to harry questioning whether it’s worth it to even live#it’s about whether or not you can live with the grief of the past and the uncertainty of the future#i want to learn to live with it… to work toward building a future that i want to live in#anyway. coughs
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guy liker moment
#a doodley#once again very difficult times for the has never been touched community#also recently some fictional men have me questioning things further and its making me sooo miserable#in the sense of like. it wouldnt be enough to t**** a beautiful man i want to be one. too.#i want someone to feel the same way ykwim. eager excited. witnessing beauty. crawling into each others skin.#i want you and i want to wear your face and be desired too.#ugh ugh ugh ugh#i probably wont ever even draw it but the lino piece i want to try making is based off of like. lately...#my skin burns when i see even the imitation of a human body. When i think of it. its so dire#or like i love the human body in general i love studying it bc its so beautiful and interesting no matter what#but i do studies and its like ahh i wanna get closer i wanna get closer im at the zoo i want to jump into the enclosure and get clawed apar#t. (saying this as metaphor bc obviously humans are not things to be owned) but i want my own model to pose and study#closer. and closer. look and touch and examine.#<- 3 seconds away from drawing nefarious shit with talon in this nature but i didnt say that#talkys#🌺
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reading a book that is very interesting in its quantitative analysis but is so weird in its tone!! the place the author chooses to insert emotionality is bizarre and his treatment of mortality of the be all end all of suffering is equally so.
#i'm supposed to be coming up w questions for this reading and so far like my biggest personal question is about tone.#like how do we feel about this tone? bc i think its bizarre.#i did go looking for other reviews and other people have brought up the same thing so it is like. extremely noticeable#he is also according to him going for 'rationality' over the 'emotionality' that is kind of pervasive in the subject matter#but then that gets into like. ok. how do you write emotionality as a historian. like. what obligations do you have to the people you examin#and he's an economic historian which i think is why he's really only focusing on mortality#which to be fair. is significant. and i think he handles it fairly well and makes clear that the numbers ARE significant even though#the percentages seem small#its just like. if this is a survey of the literature. most historians do actually talk about effects other than mortality. so.#als i do kind of think he has a moral obligation to talk about effects other than mortality. in this topic.#bc to do otherwise kind of insinuates that discussions of other effects are the emotionality he doesnt like#which might be true that he thinks that. but if its true i think thats bad.#anyway#w.me
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I miss my kitten
#154 beloved angel sweetheart I'll love you to death#looking at him makes me feel like i left my cat at home locked up (i dont have a cat)#154#qqgk#global examination
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