#it's exploring someone being nice to her :(
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risingmoonyue · 6 months ago
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Someone write me a ShinRan fic that reads like a stereotypical shojo. Whether this takes place in canon or an au is optional. The only requirement is that Shinichi is cast where there is usually a girl, and Ran where a guy is.
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janituaries · 6 months ago
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Y’know
Kinda wished Obanai’s fear and hatred of women should be explored more, don’t get me wrong. I love obamitsu like a lot, they’re one of the cutest couples i’ve ever seen. But the way Obanai’s falls in love with her at first sight doesn’t stick well enough with me to make them #1 ship.
I’d like it more through Mitsuri’s consistent kindness he showed and shower him, the kind of kindness he has never receive(excluding the Rengoku Family, i’m sure they took care of him well) from a woman and through Mitsuri he learns the true value of kindness and love which that later on is his turning point to letting his guard down to and opening his heart to give a woman a chance.
It is by her positivity he learns living longer doesn’t seem bad and that he is worth of loving
I don’t know man I just love when a character's fear is being explored more than to just brush it off. i don’t like romance all that much, i like it if it has chemistry and their dynamic is explored.
Considering Obanai’s backstory, it didn’t make sense to me. He just falls in love with her out of the bat, regardless of her purity. Trust isn’t easy to obtain especially to someone like Obanai.
Please all i want Obanai’s fear and hatred of Women to be explored and how Mitsuri manage to change that view by just consistently showered him with positivity and kindness
(P.s i am not good at conveying my words)
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scalproie · 1 year ago
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Domesticated Post-Tekken 2 Era Kazuya is my favorite to think about because this would be so good for him and everyone else but he would have an absolutely miserable time during it
#like I dont think he would REALLY miss the rich ceo lifestyle bc i dont see it as smth he ASPIRES to but as a means to give himself power#if you (jun) somehow manage to convince him that he does not actually NEED power then i think hes adaptable enough to ajust to a humble life#and the whole being rich thing fed into his worst traits#but I think being close to jun all the time would be torture for him bc he would CONSTANTLY be confronted to his own faulty morality#he cant help feeling above other common people bc he endured much more pain and hardships at 5yo than them in a lifestyle-#but he cannot act on his superiority complex about them bc Its Not The Right Thing To Do#he looks at his newborn son and feel *nothing* before feeling frustration and irritation toward *himself*#bc hes smart enough to know he SHOULD be feeling smth#and if he relunctantly admit this to jun she would tell him that if the best he can do (for now) is to not wish or do any harm on jin-#then it is good enough and he should not beat himself up about it (which he doesnt. but he does)#and even jun. she is another person he could lose and he knows deep down he would be happier without her#but being near her bring back to life smth that died years ago at the bottom of that cliff#and he wont admit it but hes scared to lose it again. even if right now its brings him nothing but discomfort and pain#hes not even sure if he *loves* her. and when he asks her whats in it for her. why she stays with him#(not out of self-consciousness but genuine confusion) she just smiles at him because he IS considering the feelings of someone else#like she is so understanding and he genuinely does try and its a really slow healing process#hes still gonna stay a little bit of a prick smug at times but at least he will be immensely more chill out#and even maybe fall in love with jun *jun* down the line. characters that fall in love with each other years into the relationship👍#and his whole exploration of fatherhood with jin. him vaguely recalling smth nice jinpachi (or god forbid. HEIHACHI pre-cliff) did to him#and doing the same to jin out of the blue for the sake of experimentation#and jin's positive reaction making him FINALLY AT LAST feel some tiny tiny thing for his son.#also for all her tree-hugger talk. jun is right meditating in the forest DOES help kaz a lot#anyway. yeah👍#tagging later#tekken
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imitor · 3 months ago
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houyi ..... i think i love all my bsd ocs on a degree that has me frightened
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#tbd.#zhang linghe the man that you are#the bsd universe is my fav to explore at the moment and singularities are so interesting to me#i like what i did with houyi because as a gravity manipulator is manifests differently and links with his singularity#and his main goal right now is to find and reprimand ability user and singularity host paul verlaine#for his crimes and both because his organisation wants further testing and experimentation because the rumour has spread#that his previous singularity is GONE and he was given ANOTHER#which should not be possible from previous research#and houyis whole thing is he wants to be rid of his singularity or wants a better way to control it#that is completely his own#houyi killed his own original host to establish himself as the “original” being but he knows he isnt and it haunts him#my BABBYYYYYYY#he's the epitome of that “hey thats a nice random quirk youve got there. mind if i mimic it to appear human?”#and the thing is he switches so often between. im human. and IM A GOD.#and i think his original timeline thing stems from wanting to be human and then accepting the fact that he is a god#well. the vessel of one. but it is that it exists WITHIN HIM. but GGRRRFFFF#he doesnt smoke cigarettes but lights them and holds them between his fingers because thats what people do#he wonders that if he likes the colour yellow is that because he likes it? or because the researcher who input his coding#wanted him to like yellow. or did they like yellow.#i love him actually and ive yet to write him but hes there. in my mind. all the time#i think about him sooooo often#he has so many opportunities for threads and plots#gggrrrfff bark bark#will say. as someone who enjoys to a degree that is terridying the blade runner movies#he is very k coded from blade runner 2049 and also. insaaaaanely roy batty#i think i wrote it in his notes that houyi will kill his creator too#like all the rest of them have <3 some indirectly but#houyi makes the choice to kill her after i think a brief discussion on her decision to make him and the fact he always saw her#as more than just his maker#but to her he means so little .... mm roy batty it GIIIIIIVES <3
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sometimes I’m scared that other people only think my outfits eat when they emphasize my waistline and make me look skinny and not when it’s an outfit that I put a lot of care into because it’s another form of expression for me
#silv's back on her bs#like I know I probably sound like ‘boohoo it must be so hard for other people to think you’re skinny’ but I just mean that like.#I’m really proud of the outfits I put together#I like my style and I like how I’ve spent the last couple years exploring with it and letting it be another extension of myself#and I’ve created a (very small) rep around having cool outfits#but the other day someone complimented my outfit and don’t get me wrong I felt nice that day#but it was literally just low rise sweatpants and a cropped tee (ie heavens forbid I had skin showing and my stomach was out)#like was it cute? sure but it definitely wasn’t an Outfit#and I got a lot more compliments because on it then I do on a normal basis#and idk. I wasn’t the biggest fan of that#and I’m scared that I’m also starting to use it as a crutch when I’m putting clothes on before I leave#like the other day I was putting an outfit together and instead of reaching for something that I think is really cool and being creative#I was genuinely met with a wave of like ‘okay but how attractive am I gonna be if I wear this’ or ‘would other ppl think I look good’#which is FUCKED#because I LOVE clothes!!!! I LOVE dressing up!!!! and I KNOW that I don’t need to look good for others that beauty and style doesn’t#have to be conventional that there’s so many cool things that lie outside that framework. And I used to be outside of that framework too#but UGH I hate that everyone else’s opinions on MY body are starting to get to me#anyways i feel like this should have a cw but idk what to add#ask to tag#ig(?)
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no1ryomafan · 1 year ago
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Thought about how given I’ve written so much for getter and rotate enough in my brain I could make hypothetical “how to write this characters” post if those even exists until I remember the factors of:
<the status of the tags doesn’t warrant a lot of writers as is and the only person to ask me this was a irl <I don’t wanna be gatekeepy even if I wouldn’t put my bias into it <who the fuck would it really be about besides ryoma and maybe hayato bc honest to god just grasping the team dynamic of the getter will make you be able to understand each individual pilot <I doubt myself I even write 100% in character despite what I’m told 💀
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jakeperalta · 2 years ago
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I need to get one of those shock collars people get for dogs and make it electrocute me every time I try to check the comments on instagram posts when I know they're not going to be nice
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ant-diary · 8 months ago
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I was kind of hoping Challengers was going to be like. A tennis throuple movie or something. When it's more like Zendaya being a fujoshi mastermind, if you consider what happens between the two 'straight' male protagonists in certain shonen anime to be yaoi
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oathed-milk · 1 month ago
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Yeah the romance in Warframe 1999 is great and all but fuck have you considered the lore we are getting? And I by that I mean, actually having character motivations and exploration centre stage and explored in depth, followed by total fucking clownery tidbits. The absolute bullshit and shenanigans we are getting alongside some of the most heart wrenching reframings of the Drifter’s trauma and experiences?
Albrecht dragged an 8 foot tall bird into the future just to dip it in hell, also the Drifter thinks everyone loves the Operator more than them. Lotus, Ordis, fuck maybe that’s the only reason Teshin ever trained them?
Lettie named her nice rats after beloved friends, and her naughty rat after an ancient war god, and also Drifter hasn’t left 1999. It’s implied they could. They choose to stay because they don’t feel they belong back in the Origin System and never did.
Despite struggles with isolation and depression, Eleanor strives even to see the upsides of being infested every day, such as being able to jerk off with her tongue. Drifter grew up alongside Dominus Thrax and their friends in Duviri, playing every day, but then they grew up, and one day, probably after a slow and torturous build up, Thrax finally killed them for the first of countless times.
Quincy still has his dick, thank god for him. Drifter made the same choice as the Operator, to take the Man in the Wall’s hand, but instead it abandoned Drifter and merely saved, “them,” all the other Tenno, just as it said. Condemned to solitude through an unknowable entity’s arbitrary fucking games and wordplay. On a child.
We thought we’d be trauma healing the Hex this update but no actually, this is just Drifter’s first chance to talk to someone that isn’t their ~10 year old self and their mother about this.
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cutieln4 · 8 months ago
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London Boy | LN4 smau
lando norris x verstappen!reader
summary: in which max unknowingly introduces his sister to her future boyfriend
fc: olivia rodrigo
y/nverstappen
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y/nverstappen i stole max’s cat, don’t tell him
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username1 aww so cute
username2 when are you coming to another race!
maxverstappen1 😑
y/nverstappen i thought i blocked you??
maxverstappen1 Give me Sassy back.
username3 lando in the likes⁉️⁉️
username4 bro chill, he’s literally friends with max
danielricciardo so the heist plan is in motion. perfect.
y/nverstappen he doesn’t suspect a thing😈
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y/nverstappen
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y/nverstappen i had the best time exploring england with the best guide! congrats bro on the win🥳
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landonorris it was lovely showing you around😊
maxverstappen1 no
username1 wait wdym lando showed her around england???
username2 the better verstappen fr
username3 the outfits slay
danielricciardo Nice seeing you again y/n/n!
y/nverstappen my favorite brother🫶
maxverstappen1 I’m right here?? And you’re not even related?
username4 her hair literally always looks good
lilymhe gorgeous girl
y/nverstappen ilysm babe lemme visit you
alex_albon that’s literally my gf???
y/nverstappen lily never let your boyfriend get in the way of finding your future wife
lilymhe you’re so right babe
landonorris posted a story
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username1 babe what about us??? what about the kids??
danielricciardo 🤨
username2 is this a soft launch
username3 NOOOOO THAT SHOULD BE ME😭
username4 who is that????
y/nverstappen i had a fun time hanging out today!🥰
y/nverstappen
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danielricciardo hmm, interesting
username1 what do you know??
username2 uh girl you got something to tell us?
username3 she doesn’t owe you anything, get out of her business
username4 oh i just KNOW max is fuming💀
maxverstappen1 Y/n who is that
maxverstappen1 Is that a boy
maxverstappen1 Y/n answer my texts
username5 oooh someone’s not happy
username6 that food looks good asf
username7 outfit always serves
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y/nverstappen posted a story
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landonorris
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landonorris home is wherever i’m with you
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username1 sobbing, hyperventilating, throwing up
username2 nah the caption, that is so fricking adorable
danielricciardo aww i knew you were a big softie
georgerussell63 did you pay someone to take that picture with you😂
landonorris haha very funny mate
username3 god, i’ve seen what you’ve done for others🙏
f1gossip
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f1gossip 🚨🚨Lando Norris spotted with mystery girl over summer break, sources say it could be Max Verstappen’s sister, Y/n
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username1 i literally knew it and you all doubted me😑
username2 chill out, it’s still not confirmed
username3 we can’t even see her face
username4 OMG???????
username5 oh max is DEFINITELY pushing lando off the track in zandvoort
username6 sources: my delusions
username7 y’all we lost a good one😣 (y/n not lando)
username8 you’re so real cause she’s gorgeous
username9 nah cause why is this actually so freaking cute, like omg the way he is smiling at her🤭🫠
username10 HAND PLACEMENT???
username11 max is gonna chop off lando’s hands
username12 i’d pay good money to see the text messages
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y/nverstappen
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y/nverstappen in a world of boys, he's a gentlemen
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username1 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
username2 this is so adorable! (i'm sleeping on the highway tonight)
landonorris you’re my everything💞💞
username3 y'all owe me an apology, i KNEW it
maxverstappen1 If you're happy, I'm happy
username4 you're definitely being forced to say this
username5 boyfriend lando is everything🥺
username6 they look so happy
username7 i’m balling my eyes out
kellypiquet you guys are adorable🩷
y/nverstappen thanks for talking max down😁
landonorris
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landonorris got love-struck, went straight to my head
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username1 the matching captions omg
y/nverstappen i love you baby❤️
maxverstappen1 🤮🤮
danielricciardo I KNEW IT @.carlossainz55 you owe me 50 bucks
carlossainz55 damn it
landonorris YOU HAD A BET???
oscarpiastri yes
charles_leclerc yes
georgerussell63 yes
alex_albon yes
maxverstappen1 YOU ALL HAD A BET AND DIDNT TELL ME?
maxfewtrell she's good for you, mate🤍
maxverstappen1 remember what i told you🙂
username2 oh! this definitely isn’t threatening at all
landonorris i will😰
y/nverstappen max emilian verstappen what did you tell him?
username3 this😭is😭so😭adorable😭
username4 bro is getting pushed into the barrier next race fs
username5 the IT couple
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zincbot · 1 year ago
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i think it's fun to sprinkle a little personal issue into a dnd character, exaggerate it to make it that much easier to dissect
#dnd#it's been fun with my newest guy midas. cause they're probably the dnd character most different from me? that i've ever played#and the first long-term one who isn't a total sweetheart lol#with midas i'm trying to explore dysphoria beyond just the body#dysphoria with. feeling like who you are is intrinsically unlovable. feeling like you have to be something else to get it#it's really interesting.#my first pc. octo. a big part of his character was being an eldest sibling#who saw that trait as something essential to himself.#and also i made Octo someone who fears death in a way that lends itself to self-destruction in search of a solution#i was messy with octo. his story was about loss of voice. about tying yourself to someone too tightly. about digging your own grave#venna is still probably my favourite dnd character i've ever played. with her i was exploring innocence and the desire to do good#kindness in a world that was unkind. kindness in a Body that was unkind. being soft when you're built for violence#how everyone being deserving of life means you too#another one. west. i wish i cld have got to play them more. but that was about#losing ability as someone who prides themself on physical prowess.#not letting others see you hurting. running away from comfort.#essaie. trying to deal with a problem by yourself instead of asking for help.#and i gave him a guilt. knowing that something was your fault even if there's no evidence for it.#all of these traits and more exist within me but most of them are much smaller than they are in these characters#which is why i think it can be really nice to pull them out and explore them like this#ttrpgs are so special man
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brokenmenswhore · 2 months ago
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A part three to proposition please 🙏
holy SHIT you guys you’re all FIENDS
a proposition: exploration | poly!marauders
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#3
pairing: poly!marauders x fem!reader (james, remus, and sirius, featuring alecto, dorcas, evan, lily, and mary)
warnings: smut (MDNI 18+)
a/n: i really hope this was worth the wait, thank you for your patience <3
a proposition: masterlist
────── ☾ ──────
“Morning!”
The group at the Gryffindor table turned their heads toward you.
“Morning,” Remus responded, twisting his body to see you standing directly behind him.
“You guys mind if I sit with you?”
“Not at all, gorgeous,” Remus flirted, patting the spot to his right as he took another bite of french toast.
You blushed as you sat down, smiling to everyone else at the table as a greeting.
As you settled in, the group continued the conversation they were having about upcoming exams. Being a year below them, you didn’t have much to offer, and you were growing bored.
You leaned over toward Remus, confidence beaming due to your desire for attention as you whispered, “thank you for yesterday. You were really nice to me.”
Remus turned his attention away from the group as he looked at you, smiling, “of course, but there’s no need to thank me. It was a pleasure.”
His flirtations made you blush. You thought about how funny it was that he had literally fucked you, yet one little comment made your heart putty in his hands.
You were blushy and giggly like a schoolgirl with a crush, completely unable to control yourself. “I’m glad it was a pleasure.”
Remus smiled even wider, catching onto your antics. “I fucked you once and now you’re in a mood, huh?” he teased.
“Maybe.”
Remus looked around the table, who still hadn’t noticed his absence from the conversation, and he took your hand, leaving his seat and subsequently pulling you up to a stand.
“We’ll be back,” Remus said.
“No no no,” James said, “no, that’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair?” Remus asked.
“Mate, you’re the only one here who’s been with her, and it was last night. Keep it in your pants, we’re literally at breakfast,” James pouted.
��Can’t help it when she asks,” Remus smiled.
You blushed even harder, ducking your head behind Remus’s shoulder in embarrassment.
The table gave up on fighting Remus. James turned back around with a sigh and continued eating and chatting, as did everyone at the table except for Sirius, who stayed eyeing you until you were out of view.
Remus pulled you down a few hallways until he found a sufficiently quiet corridor with empty classrooms.
“Remus, what if someone-“
“They never use these classrooms,” Remus said, quietly clicking the door shut, “one too many hexes, I suppose.”
“But-“
“You look so good right now.”
Your protestations died in your throat as Remus walked closer and closer to you. You took a step backward, and your lower back collided into an empty desk.
“Why so quiet all of a sudden?” Remus teased.
“You make me nervous,” you admitted without thinking.
“Yeah? Nervous how?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“I don’t know, like, I just- I keep thinking about yesterday,” you said.
Remus began to lightly run his fingers up the side of your body. “What about it?”
“You know what about.”
“I wanna hear you say it.”
“You’re joking.”
“Nope.”
You took a deep breath. “I keep thinking about how we had sex. Happy?”
“Not quite,” Remus answered, “I wanna know what exactly about us having sex you keep thinking about.”
“I don’t know, you, I guess?”
“Me, hm?”
“Yeah.”
“You know what I keep thinking about?”
You cocked your head to the side.
“You.”
“Me?”
“Mhm,” Remus continued, “you underneath me, to be specific.”
As he spoke, Remus began to slowly pull your skirt up to your waist, causing your breathing to hitch in your throat.
“Well well well, is this all for me?”
Remus ran a finger over your underwear but still between your folds, the wetness already having soaked through the fabric, leaving an evident stain.
“Yes,” you admitted.
Remus removed his hand, instead wrapping his arms around the backs of your legs, causing you to gasp as you jumped upward. Remus moved you backward, and your ass hit the desk behind you. He took residence standing between your legs, which in turn made your skirt stay bunched up at your waist.
“Can I try something?” Remus asked.
“What do you wanna try?” you asked, your breathing heavy in anticipation from Remus’s close proximity.
“You.”
“Me what?”
“I wanna try you.”
You furrowed your brows in confusion. “You already did, we already had sex. I’m confused.”
Remus chuckled. “No, baby, I wanna taste you.”
“Oh.”
“That okay?”
“I don’t really know what that entails, but yeah.”
“You know you can always just tell me to stop, right?” Remus checked.
“Yes.”
Remus nodded at your response and sunk to his knees, looking up at you as he pushed your underwear to the side.
“What if-“
“Don’t be self conscious baby, you’re beautiful,” Remus eased your nerves, and you took a deep breath as you forced your muscles to relax.
Remus stuck his tongue out and tasted between your folds, moving slowly and gentle so as not to overstimulate you too early, and you shuddered at the contact.
Remus maintained eye contact as you watched him move his tongue up and down, tasting your evident wetness. You moaned when he flicked his tongue faster directly on your clit.
Your body jolted, and Remus made a sound of satisfaction as he continued his work on your clit, alternating between flicking you with his tongue and sucking and kissing.
“Fuck,” you sighed.
Remus reached a hand up to grab yours, intertwining your fingers with his to help steady you in a gesture of intimacy that you really appreciated.
You squeezed his hand as you became a whiny, submissive mess.
Remus’s other hand gripped the flesh of your ass that was accessible, pushing you closer to him and increasing the intensity of your pleasure.
You threw your head back, and your hand instinctively went to the back of Remus’s head, lightly pulling the strands of his hair.
You snapped out of your daze for a moment and quickly removed your hand, self conscious about the action made while you were lost in pleasure.
Remus pulled away from you. “Go for it, baby, don’t hold back.”
You knew he was intentionally calling you baby because you mentioned yesterday that you liked it, and the remembrance was only adding to your arousal.
You swallowed your self consciousness and resumed playing with Remus’s hair. He moaned into you at the feeling, clearly happy about it.
“Shit, Rem-“
Remus moved his mouth faster, desperately trying to pull an orgasm from you.
“Rem- Remmy-“
Remus pulled away for a brief moment to say, “feels so good you’re callin me nicknames now, huh?”
“S-sorry,” you stuttered.
“Uh uh, you better keep moaning little nicknames for me like that.”
You simply moaned in response, losing strength to stay sitting up as you began to lightly grind your hips against Remus’s face, so lost in pleasure you didn’t care about being embarrassed anymore.
Remus slapped the outside of your thigh, looking up at you. He decided to test the waters with you. “I said keep moaning my fucking name.”
You liked the dominance. “Yes, Remmy.”
“Good girl,” he praised, reconnecting his mouth to you and still focusing on your clit, deciding to save anything else for another time, as this was your first time doing this, and he wanted to take it slow. He knew not many of the others would.
You threw your head back, anchoring yourself with your hand on Remus’s head as your moans became louder and louder.
Remus let go of your hand and held your waist, now completely gripping your hips as he pushed you as close to him as he could.
Your high was approaching quickly, and your moans were becoming high pitched and weak.
“I’m, it’s- Remmy, I-“
Remus didn’t pull away, but instead looked up at you to watch your face as you came.
You threw your head back instinctively, your chest rapidly rising and falling as your orgasm washed over you.
Remus stayed between your legs to lap up any and all wetness, and only stood when he was satisfied.
You were trying hard to catch your breath, and Remus smiled at you. “Feel good?”
You smiled in return. “Fuck.”
Remus kissed you, and you could taste yourself on his lips.
“I’m not even hungry for breakfast anymore,” Remus joked.
────── ☾ ──────
All you could think about was Remus.
You felt like a woman possessed. You couldn’t focus in lectures because all you could think of was Remus’s head between your legs. How he sounded when he moaned into you. The way he called you baby when he fucked you. The way he runs his fingers through his messy hair. You were enamored, and you were becoming horny much more frequently than you ever imagined.
Even when you were with the group, you stayed attached to Remus. You always sat with your thigh against his, and even sometimes stood holding his arm. You were obsessed, and the group noticed.
You had just joined, and you were already completely infatuated with just one of them, and that concerned the group, so they decided to meet without you, something they rarely did, but found necessary.
“She’s absolutely obsessed with you, mate.”
Remus flicked embers from his cigarette into the ashtray in the center of the courtyard. “I don’t know what to tell you. I like her, if she wants me, I’m not gonna say no. It’s her choice who she wants.”
“Come on, guys, go easy on Y/N,” Lily said, “every girl gets a little obsessed with their first time. It’s the same way I was with James.”
“If that ain’t the truth,” James said, raising his bottle of firewhiskey.
Sirius took the opportunity to stand up and grab the raised bottle, and he downed the remainder of its contents in an instant.
“Someone else needs to fuck her,” Mary chimed in, “simple as that.”
“She’ll get there, why rush her?” Remus defended.
“Oh shut up mate, you just like having someone want you so bad,” James argued.
Remus shrugged before taking another drag of his cigarette, not completely disagreeing with James’s sentiment.
Sirius cleared his throat, and the attention of the room turned to him. In an annoyed tone, he spoke, “someone go and fuck her, then.”
“Why don’t you go find her?” Dorcas suggested to Sirius.
“Maybe I will.”
“No, no, I got this,” James said, standing up and straightening his shirt, “I know my way to the Hufflepuff common room.”
“She’s not in the common room, she’s in potions,” Sirius said.
“What, you know her schedule now?”
Sirius shrugged and rested his elbows on his knees, the wind knocking a few strands of hair in front of his face.
James threw his hands in the air. “I don’t know where the Hufflepuff potions classroom is, what do you want me to do? Fuck.”
“Just find her later. It’s not like she’s gonna fuck you in a classroom anyways,” Dorcas said.
Remus scoffed to himself, not realizing it was loud enough for the group to hear. Everyone’s gaze shot toward him.
“Sorry,” Remus smiled, clearly not sorry at all.
“Oh come on,” James said, throwing his hands up in the air, “I don’t even have a shot.”
“You’ll be fine, mate, just try manhandling her a little,” Remus said casually.
“Yeah?”
“She seemed to like the little bit I did when I tried,” Remus revealed.
By the time classes were over, you were nowhere to be seen. You hadn’t had the need to walk past the courtyard at all, but that didn’t mean James gave up. Instead, he just walked around the Hufflepuff hallways until he saw you.
“Hey Y/N!” he exclaimed when he finally caught your eye.
“Hey, James, what are you doing down here?” you said, approaching the common room door.
“Do you guys get to snatch snacks?” he asked, his inner monologue taking over as he noticed the Hufflepuff common room was extremely close to the kitchens.
“You came down here because you wanted a snack?” you asked, turning to face him.
“I guess you could say that,” he responded.
“What does that mean?”
“Shouldn’t you know now? I mean, I thought Remus took care of teaching you that already,” James smirked.
You blushed and bowed your head briefly. “He’s quick to talk, that one.”
“Why have you been so attached to him?” James asked.
You processed the question before speaking. “I don’t know, I guess I didn’t realize I had been. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, angel, no worries,” James said, stepping closer and closer to you, “I think I can help that.”
“Yeah?” you played along, “how?”
“Follow me and you’ll find out.”
You smiled as you took James’s hand, your other hand holding your books to your chest as you mindlessly followed James’s lead. You watched the muscles in his arm flex as he held onto your hand, and you felt yourself growing excited.
You were becoming attached to Remus, and you knew you had to get that out of your system. Besides, James was hot, and you were now perpetually horny, so why not indulge in a little fun?
────── ☾ ──────
“I am not going in there.”
James sighed. “C’mon, it really isn’t as scary as it looks. Promise.”
“No no, I think it is as scary as it looks,” you protested, “I’ve heard horror stories about this place, James. It’s called the Shrieking Shack for a reason.”
“Would you just trust me?” James said.
“In theory,” you responded, but still swallowed your fears and let him direct you toward the dilapidated building.
You were surprised by its contents. The interior was decorated somewhat cozy, and a large bed sat in the corner across from a warm fireplace. Lily sat on a couch facing the flames, reading for pleasure in her solitude.
“Hey, Lil, I’m sorry, we didn’t know you were out here,” James said when he spotted her.
“No worries,” Lily said, standing, “I can get going, and leave you two alone.”
She started to exit the room, but the moment she walked past James, he called out to her. “Wait. Stay.”
You turned to James, then to Lily, then back to James again. Maybe he didn’t bring you here to fuck. Maybe he really just wanted to hang out.
“Yeah? Is that alright with you, Y/N?” Lily asked.
Your gaze continued to shift between James and Lily. “I think I’m confused.”
James took a step closer to you, shifting his body behind you as he swept your hair off of one shoulder. He leaned toward your ear, whispering, “No, I don’t think you are.”
He then lightly kissed your neck, momentarily sucking on a few sensitive spots. You felt yourself lose control as your head fell backwards and your eyes closed. His lips felt like heaven against your skin.
You forgot Lily was in the room until you felt her presence in front of you. You opened your eyes but they almost instantly shut again as Lily connected her lips to yours. Your mouths moved in sync as you let yourself melt into their touches.
James’s hands ran down your sides, pushing down the garments on your lower body. You shivered as the cool air hit your now bare skin.
“Here, c’mere,” James said, directing you over to the space in between the couch and the fireplace. “Better?”
“Mhm,” you vocalized.
James studied you for a moment. He remembered what Remus has said earlier about manhandling you, and decided to take the chance. He stood in front of you and grabbed your throat, lightly squeezing his fingers as he pulled your body closer to his, your face mere inches from his. “You gonna be good?” he whispered.
“Yes,” you answered.
“Good girl,” he praised, his unoccupied hand connecting to your clit, immediately rubbing steady circles on you as he studied your expression.
Your mouth opened and you tried to moan, but the pressure around your throat meant every noise came out as a shaky breath or a small, strangled moan.
James’s eyes never left yours as your brows furrowed and you tried to shift your weight, but his grip on you was firm. He studied exactly how your features shifted and contorted when he moved fast or hit a particularly good spot, and he could feel a straining in his jeans.
Your arousal grew each time you tried to move away but couldn’t. James was certainly the most muscular of any of the group, and he worked out the most, almost by default from playing Quidditch. You were happy he was manhandling you: he was perfect for it.
James continued to touch you as you struggled to remain standing, but luckily, Lily came to your aid, holding your hips from behind.
“Aweh, Jamesie, I think she’s gonna fall if you let her go,” Lily taunted.
James listened to Lily, then directed his attention back to you. “Open your eyes,” he demanded, and you did just that, “if you fall, it better be to your knees.”
You nodded your head up and down as much as you could with James’s grip on you, and he immediately let go of your throat. You felt your knees buckle, and despite the fact that you probably could have stood, you sunk to your knees in front of James.
He smiled wickedly as he unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down, standing in front of you in his boxers once his shirt was removed.
You looked up at him and swallowed hard, turned on but also nervous.
“I’ve never done this before,” you reminded him, “I don’t think it’ll be good.”
“You don’t have to do it, angel,” James said, fearing he was pressuring you.
“I want to,” you admitted, “I just- I-“
“Want me to talk you through it?”
“You don’t have to- I just- I don’t know-“
James sank down to your level, kneeling on the floor in front of you and taking your hands in his. “If you don’t wanna do this, you tell me whenever. Otherwise, don’t be embarrassed. I’ll walk you through it. We stop when you want. Don’t worry about it being bad, baby, that pretty mouth around my cock couldn’t possibly be bad. Lily can help, too. She’s got it down to a science. Okay?”
You blushed and dropped your head to hide it. James maneuvered his own boxers off, before standing up again, his semi-hard cock almost level with your face.
“You wanna watch what I do first?” Lily suggested, and you immediately nodded. You would feel a lot more comfortable seeing her do it first, partially so you could have a reference, but partially because you couldn’t stand the thought of doing it in front of Lily without Lily having done anything sexual in front of you first.
Lily shuffled on her knees toward James, who smiled down at her. She took James’s cock in her hand and pointed the tip directly outward.
“Boys like it when you work ‘em up first, especially this one,” Lily smiled.
Lily kept James’s cock steady as she licked a stripe from the base to the tip, circling her tongue around the tip before pulling away to speak again.
“Since it’s your first time, don’t rush it,” she said, “go nice and slow and let yourself adjust. Like this.”
Lily wrapped her mouth around James’s cock, and he immediately threw his head back and let out a moan. She slowly sunk her head further and further down.
James’s hand instinctively found it’s way to the back of Lily’s head, causing Lily to pull away with a pop. “She can’t see if your arm is in the way, Jamie!”
“Fuck, sorry,” James breathed out, clearly worked up from even one small moment.
“The little moans mean he likes it,” Lily said, “just watch your teeth. Try to think about hollowing out your cheeks.”
You nodded and watched as Lily reconnected her mouth to James’s cock. He clenched his hands into fists to stop himself from holding her head against him, and you could tell he was fighting to keep his resolve. Lily moved her head as far down as she could go, then almost entirely off, then back down again. She kept a steady pace, and eventually James looked down at her, and Lily forced her eyes open to look back at him.
“Fuck, we love it when you fucking look at us,” James said, talking to you, but looking at Lily.
Lily continued to suck him off for a few moments before disconnecting herself from him again, shifting backwards on her knees to make room for you.
You made yourself comfortable as you took a deep breath. You looked up at James, and he nearly combusted when he made eye contact with you. “Shit, baby, don’t look at me like that.”
“Will you tell me if anything is uncomfortable?” you asked.
The innocence coating your voice was driving James crazy, and he was growing more and more eager by the second. “Shit, yes, I promise.”
You copied Lily’s initial actions, wrapping your hand around the base of his cock as you wrapped your lips around his tip. You remembered what Lily said about teeth, and you did your best to avoid having them touch James. You moved your lips as far down James’s shaft as you could before you felt his tip his the back of your throat, causing you to gag around him and pull away.
“It’s okay, that’s okay! That’s totally normal,” Lily said, immediately putting her hand on your back to comfort you, “just go a little less far this time.”
You wrapped your lips around James again, this time only sinking down as far as you could without his cock hitting the back of your throat. You slowly pulled back and then pushed in again, trying to gage how it feels to move. You focused on keeping your cheeks hollowed out.
After a few tries, you got your jaw in a comfortable position. You looked up at James, who was fighting for his life to keep it together. He was gripping Lily’s hand in his own, and his other hand was in front of his face, covering his own mouth.
You pulled away from James. “Are you okay?” you asked.
“Yeah, baby, just didn’t wanna make a noise and stress you out.”
“Am I doing okay?”
“You’re doing so good for me, baby.”
You gave him a small smile before sinking back onto his length. You found your comfortable position again, and began to move more and more, gradually increasing your speed as you adjusted.
“Atta girl,” Lily said.
You braced yourself by placing your palms on his thighs, allowing yourself to more easily get closer and closer to him.
As time went on, James lost himself in the pleasure, and eventually completely forgot that this was your first time, and that he was supposed to be gentle.
His eyes were closed and his head was thrown back as he placed his hand on the back of your head, forcing you closer to him.
You tried your best to focus on keeping your cheeks hollow, and realized you should breathe through your nose. You knew you could stop James at any time, but you didn’t really want to. You relished in the knowledge that your mouth around him felt so good that he lost control.
James began to buck his hips forward, causing you to still your head as he took over. He fucked your mouth fast, chasing his high as you tried your best to breathe and stay still.
Lily grabbed your shoulders and pulled you away from him. James snapped out of his trance, and looked down to you concerned.
“Shit, angel, are you alright?” he asked, leaning down and running a thumb over your cheek.
You nodded yes as you caught your breath.
You turned to Lily, who said, “it’s no fun if he comes already.”
James got down to your level, kneeling on the floor as he begged, “seven hells, Y/N, please let us fuck you.”
You leaned toward James and gently kissed him, and he immediately reciprocated, running his fingers through your hair and deepening the kiss.
He pulled you against his body as he leaned backward, straightening his legs until he was laying flat against the floor, holding your body against his while still kissing you.
“Flip around,” he said.
You gave him a confused look, but instead of explaining, he simply repeated, “flip the fuck around.”
You awkwardly shifted your body around until your back was to James. You were nervous to put the pressure of your body against his chest, so you knelt on the floor between his legs, unsure of what to do.
You luckily didn’t have to ask. James leaned upward and wrapped his arms around your body, pulling your back flush against his chest as he laid back down against the rug.
“Legs on either side of me, angel,” he said, and you moved your knees to either side of his waist.
Even before you had sex, you had some understanding of how it worked, but this was all new for you. You listened to any instruction James gave you without question, because it wasn’t like you knew what you were doing anyway.
James unwrapped his arms from your body and ran his fingers over your arms before pulling them backwards, your head nearly knocking back into his head from surprise as he positioned your arms on either side of his head, allowing you to hold yourself up.
“You okay?” he checked in once he had you in the position he wanted.
“Mhm,” you responded.
He gripped your hips, his strength overwhelming you as he lifted your hips with ease. You helped him, lifting your knees until you felt him stop.
James gave his cock a few fast strokes before he positioned himself at your entrance. He pushed your hips down, trying to be slow for your sake, but somewhat failing. When you were all the way sat down, you could hear James’s head hit the floor as he threw it back.
He continued to move your hips up and down, relishing in the pleasure. After a few thrusts, he choked out, “Lil?”
“Already here,” she said, her voice sultry.
Your eyes were squeezed shut, but when you heard her voice, you snapped out of your daze to see she was right between your legs.
“Hi,” you squeaked out.
“Hi,” she responded.
She straightened her back until her lips were mere inches away from yours. She waited until you cried out at a sharp thrust of James’s hips to kiss you. She wrapped her fingers in your hair to keep your head in place, her tongue finding it’s way into your mouth as you moaned.
When she pulled away, she kept eye contact, and began to move down your body. When she was back in between your legs, you nodded to her, granting her permission.
Lily’s tongue began to taste between your folds. James’s thrusts we’re growing hard, his hips now moving more than yours, so Lily didn’t have to do much work.
Her tongue flicked against you as your hips moved up and down, the added pleasure causing your arousal to build rapidly.
She gazed up at you, moving her mouth closer to you so she could suck at your clit as you watched her.
“Fuck, I can’t-“ you moaned.
James released one of your hips and gripped your hair, forcing your head to tilt downward and watch Lily.
Lily sucked and licked at your clit, focusing on circling your clit with her tongue, knowing it would help drive you over the edge.
“Fuck, c’mere,” James nearly growled, knocking your arms and holding your back against his chest, your head falling beside his.
He began to fuck into you even harder, hitting your sweet spot with every vicious thrust. The stretched out position allowed Lily more access to your core, and she gently pawed at James’s balls as she continued to taste you.
While everything about the moment was heated, what sent you over the edge was James’s hold on you. His muscular arms held you against him so effortlessly, but so strong that you couldn’t dare to move if you wanted to. You felt so close to him, and the thought did you in.
“I’m com-“ you couldn’t even finish the sentence before your high crashed over you.
James immediately pulled you up and off of him and allowed Lily to taste your juices, sucking at your entrance until you had calmed down and were clean. As she did so, James used one hand to hold his cock against your thigh, fucking it until he came, spilling his seed on your thigh and hip.
Lily leaned over to lick up the come all over you, making sure you were clean before she backed away.
You dropped your hips to the floor, exhaustion overwhelming you as James shifted backward and allowed you to rest your head on his legs.
Naked and fucked out, James began to run his fingers through your sweat soaked hair. You stayed there for a moment, while Lily reclothed herself and organized her books, before you asked, “how long have you guys been coming here?”
“Years,” James answered, “Remus started coming here during his transitions, and the rest of us would come help him out. It kinda became our place.”
You tilted your head to look up at James. “His what?”
“His transitions. Transformations. Whatever.”
“Transformations?”
“Remus is a werewolf, honey,” Lily chimed in, “there’s no way you couldn’t have known that.”
You did not know that.
“Sirius can turn into a dog,” James blurted out.
“A what?”
“You have so much to learn,” James teased.
“A dog? Like a dog? Like a literal dog?”
“Mhm,” James smiled, “pretty cute dog, too. Big fluffy black thing. Can be kinda scary. He doesn’t really talk about it.”
“What can you turn into?” you looked up to James.
“Baby, you just saw the animal I can be.”
“Oh be honest with her, James,” Lily said, “that wasn’t even the half of it.”
────── ☾ ──────
taglist: @alixmarauders @riddlemenottsluttyslytherin @twilightlover2007 @hcqwxrtss123 @queerndepressed @prongs-wolfstar-marauders @flowersarcute @remussbitch @ch4rlotte35 @alwaysanundertone @urfavhanna @donovorita28 @randomcreator-09 @joey-hoey @chronically-sh-ana @pinksmellslikelove @blvebanisters @aaronhotchswife @roseblack1864 @chaevvonders @champomiel
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coldilikeit · 29 days ago
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Isekai reader x Batfam (Neglected au)
Female reader
Prologue- Dead mom
______________________________
You woke up as a baby, daughter of a waitress and some unknown guy, your grandmother (mom's mom) kept telling you that you were weighing her daughter's life down, whatever, that old hag died a few months after you were born
It was bad enough that you were born poor, it's the fact that you were born poor in GOTHAM
Fake Mom was a waitress and she worked with a catering job, at one of her jobs, at a charity gala with some rich people, she had sex with a rich dude there, she didn't know she was pregnant and you were a surprise
But it didn't matter, you were hers and she loved you, she didn't have much to give you because you were poor, but what little thing she had, she gave to you
That meant nothing to you, she wasn't your actual mom, your real mom had a nice crib for you to sleep in, not some moldy probably a 4th hand one, your real mom took time off her work to properly take care of you, not put you in a baby carrier and bring you to jobs like cashier, janitress and other stuff
She wasn't your actual mom.
You didn't care, you're not supposed to care.
You were merely 6 months old, at your crib, you were trying to sleep, key word. Try, but your fake mom's cries were too loud, you didn't understand her anguish, it was just a fever, you've had fevers before, why is your fake mom freaking out about your fever now
"I'm so sorry my baby... Mommy can't afford to buy the medicine-" she stops as she hears your heavy breathing, you are struggling to breathe "mommy is very selfish... If I gave you to your dad, he could get you the medicine, maybe you wouldn't get sick at all- but that would mean you are away from mommy- I'm really sorry baby.... I'll work harder"
She took a wet cloth and placed it on your forehead, she hung her head low and cried
You thought she was being dramatic, all this crying for a fever?
______________________________
Now you're 6, you don't know if fake mommy is stupid or what but there's no light and the electric fan stopped spinning, there was only one fan in your apartment, did she forget to pay the electric bill or... Did you guys not have enough money, you can't ask her that because fake mommy is at work, who leaves a 6 year old at home!?
If fake mommy can't pay, you'll do something about it, you were not going to spend a hot night without a fan, you go to explore and you grab some wild flowers off the streets and tie them with long leaves, then you sell
You forgot to leave a note.
When you get home, there's cops, your fake mom is crying and she sees you, she runs to hug "God! (Name) Where did- did you go, I- was so worried!" She cried and sobbed, the cops went away after some time
You hand her 12 dollars "I sold flowers, 2 dollars a bouquet, the lights went out, so I sold, we don't have any money to pay right?"
Your fake mom smiles at you, "my thoughtful baby... Mommy just forgot to pay because... Mommy enrolled you in school!" She said excitedly,You raised your eyebrows "how much money do we have? Won't we go bankrupt?"
But your fake mom is crazy because she just laughs and hugs you
You hated being poor, being poor means you get bullied, it means you can't buy the stuff you want, it means using stuff someone else already used, it means your lunch would also be your dinner
You hated it
Because it also meant being looked down on, being the smartest kid in class (ofc) means nothing if your school bag had holes and patched up, it meant sometimes you'll see other kids your age buy something you wanted
It didn't matter, you could make do, you avoided being bullied and actually became popular by showing off, you landed bottle flips, you could do a handstand, needless to say, you were definitely invited to birthday parties, plus you were smart and well-behaved, parents and teachers love you, it didn't matter if you brought a present or not, all that matters is your presence
And when your birthday rolled around, the kids got used to the fact you were too poor to hold a birthday party, that didn't matter to them, to those kids and parents, you were the kindest person they've ever met, so they gave you presents, at first you tried to refuse (because you were ashamed you couldn't give them anything that's not handmade to their parties) but they insisted
Your fake mom was always busy, with so many jobs, she couldn't attend all award ceremonies and PTC's
You just won for the best science project in the fair (despite having the least resources), you were fine with fake mom not being able to attend the award ceremony, she was out cleaning someone's house after all
"where is her mom?"
"I don't know, but that poor kid, she's so sweet and smart, I feel bad that she has a mother like that"
"I heard (Name)'s mother got pregnant with (Name) while she was at college, thank God that (Name) won't end up like her, how could such a talented girl end up with a mother like that? She couldn't even attend her own daughter's award ceremony"
"the mom is probably off somewhere sucking someone's dick, if she gets pregnant again, I hope the kid takes after (Name)"
"(Name)! Sweetheart! Mommy's here! Oh sorry I'm late, I was at work" you fake mom smiles as she runs at you, she looks at your blue ribbon and hugs you "You're so smart baby! Mommy is so proud"
______________________________
You're 8 and you earn 5 dollars for every lawn you cut grass for, some of the people even give you snacks! You're already an entrepreneur! You smile to yourself, you weren't going to be like your fake mom, you were going to be rich, so maybe you and fake mom can get out of the cockroach infested house and fake mom won't work for an awful manager who hits on her and she won't clean toilets just so the both of you have something to eat
You come home with 40 dollars, you plan to give 30 to your fake mom for the bills and you keep 10 as a reward, but when you open the door your met with a bang
A bang from a party popper "Happy birthday my sweetheart!" Fake mom says
You look at the cake and decorations, you sigh, the money out in this could have been used for groceries
Your fake mom seemed to read your mind "Oh hush my baby, it's only once a year! Plus this is nothing to what you do for my birthday!"
That's a lie, your fake mommy is lying, your birthday decorations for her were handmade by you and her cake was just a muffin because you couldn't afford something more expensive, your birthdays were much more grander than hers
You give her the 30 dollars, you try to give her, but it seemed to make her sad, he smile wore off
Did you do something? Shouldn't she be happy? You were providing and helping!
"I'm sorry you think you have to do this my baby... You should be playing outside- not- not working, I want you to be a kid! Don't work anymore okay?"
But you're not a kid okay! You're reincarnated! And your previous life was much better than now!
So your fake mom should just let you help! Because you're trying to make things easier for her, why won't she let you help!?
But you keep it all to yourself and you and your fake mommy celebrate your fake birthday
______________________________
You're 10, and your fake mom seems... Weaker?? Is that how you put it? Her eye bags seem darker and her skin looks paler, you don't like this look from her, your fake mom is a pretty woman, who would have married good if it weren't for you, nevermind
You don't want your fake mom getting ugly, so every 9:00 pm you crash into her work place and you don't care if she still needs to keep on working and her shift ends at 9:30, your fake mom needs sleep! Someone else can cover for her
It's her birthday when she starts coughing, she starts coughing bad. The sounds were coarse and harsh, it hurt to even hear the coughs, you didn't want to know how it felt like
She grabs a tissue and coughs into it, you're sure you saw blood
Usually you're a master of minding their own business, but this time you rummage, you rummage through your mom's fake mom's room, and you find it, doctor appointments, medical certificates (when did she even go to the hospital!?), fake mom is sick, really sick, why didn't she tell you???
When your fake mom gets home, you show her what you found, instead of confronting you she acts like it's nothing, you get mad, of course you do, why wouldn't you?
"Mom are you crazy? Why didn't you tell me? The bill is huge? And why would you keep on working!? Did you forget what a sick person does? They rest!" You cry yell
She just smiled at you??? Is this woman crazy? "What was I supposed to do? Sweetheart, these things are for me okay? Don't worry about it, I'll be fine... Did you do your homework? If you haven't I can help you"
"I did... Mom?"
"Yes?"
"I want you to pull me out of school" you say
"what why? Are you being bullied? You can tell me"
"No I'm not! If you pull me out of school, instead of worrying about my tuition, you could just pay for your medical bills and actually buy yourself some medicine and get better!"
Fake mom turns silent "You don't have to do that"
"it's the only way! We can't afford both my school and your hospital bills! Mom! Your health is much more important than some certificates! And while I'm out of school I can work as well, even though I get paid a little, money is still money I can give to you-"
"NO! A mother's job is to provide for their kids and your my kid! You don't have to go to work, you don't have to stop going to school, you don't have to think about whether you'll be able to eat tommorow and the day after that, you're a kid! You're my baby! Stop worrying about me and instead, worry about boys you like or girls you like, worry about— I want you to be a kid"
You clench your fists "How can I be!?!? You think I don't hear you!? You come home when I'm supposedly asleep so you can cry about not being able to give a better life, I can hear you! I hear everything! You hate that your manager flirts with you! You hate that the mother's at school talks about you! You hate that I'm the only kid in school who can't afford a birthday party!, I'm trying to help! I can bring in money! I tutor, I babysit, I mow lawns, I can do more if I'm out of school!" At this point you're crying
Fake mom has never yelled at you, never. Whenever you get mad she hugs you and kisses you forehead, why is she yelling at you, you just want what's best for her
______________________________
You didn't care, after school you took on more jobs, you even started doing your classmate's homework and homework from higher and lower grades for money
Fake mom's medicine... It was expensive, that didn't matter, you'll work harder, you were so tired
You started selling bread for a family bakery who felt bad for you, that kind of money doesn't come up in thin air
But you were going to try
And you did, you really did, you did whatever you could
You and fake mom had another argument when you found out she got life insurance and placed you as the sole beneficiary
Fake mom's illness got so bad that she had to quit her jobs because she didn't have the strength to even walk, the amount of blood that comes out every time she coughs kept increasing
You stopped going to school to work more, you started to sweep and mop up for local grocery stores, the owner being a dad of one of your classmates
You knew your mom wouldn't approve, so you fed her with fake science fairs, fake school plays you had to practice for so she wouldn't get suspicious why you returned home late
"Don't stay out so late sweetheart, the riddler just escaped Arkham" your fake mom would warn you with a hint of love in her voice
If you could just make it work, even for half of the money you need, maybe you could put a down payment, and they'd give you the medicine and you'll pay them back later
So why wasn't your fake mom waking up?
You got home, after grueling hours of painting fences, you plan to tell your fake mom that you were just painting some backdrops for a school play
"Mommy?" You call out, you expect your fake mom to be either watching on a broken down TV or probably sewing some of your clothes with holes on them
It's eerie quiet, a quiet you don't like "Mama?" You see her in a chair, asleep and eyes closed
Is she that tired? "Mommy, do you want noodles? I'll make some?"
....
.........
"Mommy?"
You shake her body trying to wake her
Nothing.
"Mommy?"
Your heart drops "No... No. No. No. No. No. No... No!" You keep shaking and shaking her but nothing, it was then you notice her lips have gone horrifyingly pale
"no.. this- this- help! Someone help us please!" You yell trying to call your neighbors, someone, anyone!
______________________________
"I'm sorry kid, Your mom's gone, we'll try to find any other relatives you have" the police officer looks at you with pity
"I don't have any relatives left" you say
You're not going to cry, why would you? She wasn't your real mom, she- she....
Fuck, now you're crying, you're doing what you said you wouldn't do
The officer knelt to you and hugged you "We'll find you another loving family, one that will buy you toys and-"
"I don't want another loving family! I want my mommy! I want my mom" you cry
"it's okay... Everything is going to be okay" he pats your back
After a few days at the orphanage, the news came, everyone was shocked, a few staff who got attached to you were happy you'll be with someone who could provide, a few staff who also got attached to you angry that he abandoned such a sweet girl, a DNA match to the one and only Bruce Wayne, that man is your father.
You stand In front of doors a hundred times bigger than you, you see him- no you see them.
The infamous Wayne family, all in their glory
"Father, will it stay with us permanently" Damian asks
Dick the older one laughed and responded "Unfortunately for her, she will stay here"
Holy shit, you think
Holy shit.
Is this? No it can't be...
You refuse to believe you reincarnated in a Batfam x neglected reader story- surely not-
Welcome Reader! To the Neglected AU!
Prologue: dead mom- finished
Progress:100%
Chapter 1: "I wished I stayed at the orphanage"- start!
Progress: 0%
The screen appears In front of you
"Fuck" you whisper
______________________________
Alr so technically this is the prologue, "yes" won Soo...
Also goodbye mom
My ass wrote this with a fever, while playing chess with my cousin, I'm built diff like that
Also I won, if you want pics of the chessboard and the thermometer I'll provide🔥
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yawnderu · 10 months ago
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ANGEL — Simon Riley x Reader
cw: toxic situationship, emotionally unavailable Simon, age gap (reader is in her 20s, Simon is canonically in his late 30s).
wc: 2,027 | Part II
“Shh, shh.” Simon can feel his heartstrings being forcefully pulled, the image of you crying, tears spilling down your cheeks as you cling to him for dear life, your fingers gripping his black hoodie.
“S'okay. I can introduce you to some o' my mates.” The look of exasperation you shoot his way is enough to make him try to hold back his laughter, knowing it's not appropriate. Part of him feels bad, but the other part defends itself by telling him he warned you.
Simon Riley doesn't do love. He doesn't do feelings— he's a dog, too tainted and dirty for someone like you, too doomed. He doesn't deserve you, and yet he can't stop crawling back to you despite the heartbreak he sees in your pretty eyes the moment tells you he has to leave.
“I don't want 'em.” His attention is dragged back to you, the whiny tone making his gaze soften despite himself.
“Can you just... fuck me like you love me? I don't care if it's fake, I just...” Another choked sob escapes your lips, soft fingers tightening their hold on the fabric of his hoodie. Simon doesn't say anything— there's nothing he can say to make it better for you. The one condition to your situationship was broken, yet he couldn't find it in himself to abandon you, not when you look up at him like a lost, needy puppy.
“Y'can pretend it's love...” He offers, his tone lacking any mirth or empathy, not when his lips are busy going down your neck, trying his best not to leave any marks or be too rough with you, fighting his own nature for your sake.
His scarred, pink lips travel down your bare body with a gentleness meant to soften the blow of his emotional unavailability, trying his best to counter the heartbreak, secretly hoping that he can slowly mend your broken heart.
“I'll be nice to ya.” His hot breath hits your bare stomach, making your muscles tense up at the sensation, an unwilling shiver running up your spine at the tenderness of his words and actions, something he never showed you when he used to fuck you.
“Treat you like the proper angel y'are.” Simon's guilt is pushed to the back of his mind the moment his lips plant against your clothed mound, his calloused hand going up to your stomach to gently push you down the moment your back arches, wanting to keep you nice and still for him. To take care of your needs, for once.
Simon is a patient man. A patient man, who runs his warm, wet tongue over your clothed cunt, paying especial attention to your hardened clit, only making the knot in your stomach tighten by the second, fingers lacing on his short blond hair, pulling him closer. The display of pure neediness makes Simon's lips tilt up into a small, soft smile despite himself.
His hands explore your soft legs, squeezing softly every once in a while just to reassure you that he's still there. That he's not going away for once. He can feel your muscles twitch beneath his palm, almost mirroring his neglected, throbbing cock.
Simon's warm hands sneak to the back of your thighs, subtly feeling up your ass with the pads of his fingers, slowly sinking into the fat and muscle before he's pulling your legs up, soft kisses planted on your pretty inner thighs, even going as far as to give them gentle love bites, knowing you don't care if he leaves marks— not when your slick is seeping through the fabric of your panties, ready as ever.
“Needy fuckin' girl.” His touch is as gentle as it could be for someone whose hands are used to responding with violence and aggression, sneaking up to the waistband of your panties, pulling down enough to reveal your glistening cunt, not minding how the black cloth was left neglected, hanging on your ankle.
Just like a man starved, Simon's wet tongue darts out of his mouth to give a long, sensual lick against your folds, savoring the taste of your slickness. His rough hands grip your hips to steady you, no longer minding the way your back arches from the pure pleasure he's giving you. He takes a second to admire the sight in front of him, his hot breath fanning against your cunt.
“Good girl.” His skilled, hungry tongue delves between your folds, lapping at your wetness with a need that matches your own. He explores every single inch of your pussy, his tongue flickering and swirling over your hard, swollen clit. His free hand reaches up to fondle one of your tits, his fingers digging into the fat as he devours you.
Simon's hips rock softly against the mattress, looking for any sort of possible relief for his hard, throbbing cock, neglecting it until he can't handle it, hesitantly letting go of your sweet cunt, crawling on top of you and caging you in with his strong, muscular arms. Your soft hand goes to his tattooed arm out of pure muscle memory, earning you a small smirk back.
“You want it, angel? This fat fuckin' cock inside you?” His hips jerk involuntarily, a low groan escaping his lips as he feels the familiar heat pooling in his abdomen, his hand going down to his zipper out of habit, lowering it just enough to pull out his cock— until he realizes that he promised to make love to you, not to fuck.
With slight hesitation in his movements, Simon gets up from the bed, brown eyes watching your reaction with such focus you'd think he's a predator ready to pounce on its prey... and in a way, he is.
His chest rises and falls heavily as he starts to discard his clothes until he's completely bare and vulnerable, something he's never done before for anyone. The way your gaze softens as your eyes examine his scars almost makes him want to put his clothes back on— to leave and to never come back. Simon doesn't deserve your empathy, not when he keeps making you cry, yet he swallows his discomfort back down, his body resting on top of yours, lifting himself up with his arms.
“Y'always take me so well, don't you?” Simon teases in a whisper, his breath hot against your ear. The sound of your wetness mingling with his leaking tip fills the room, dragging a small whine out of you as he teases your entrance for a few seconds, his eyes on yours the moment he sinks into you, giving you time to get used to his thickness before starting to push in deeper, a low groan leaving his lips the moment he hits your sensitive, spongy cervix.
Simon leans down, his lips pressing against yours as he starts to thrust into your needy, sopping cunt, every single inch of him stretching you out like you were made for him. A small shiver runs down his spine when your hand goes up and down his back, caressing the scars from the torture he suffered at the hands of Roba. He pushes the bitter sensation away, putting his entire focus on the feeling of your tongue wrapping around his, tiny strings of saliva staining the corners of your soft lips.
He pulls you closer, his grip possessive yet still so gentle and tender, his touch becoming more intimate. Simon buries his face on the crook of your neck, open-mouthed kisses planted all over your soft, warm skin.
“Y'like this, princess?” He rolls his hips against yours, pushing himself as deep as possible into your pussy.
“Bet my mates could fuck you better.” Simon silences your protests with a quick kiss, thrusting faster into you just so you become willing to hear him out.
“Could treat ya better, too.” His forehead leans against yours, staring deep into the pleading look you're giving him, silently begging him to stop talking about it— to love you, begging for something he can't give you even if he were to force himself.
“My captain's a good man. Y'like older men, don't ya?” His breath is hot against your cheek, his eyes finally screwing shot as your cunt tightens around him at the mention of Price, a low, deep groan making its way out of his throat.
“'Course you do.” He says with a small chuckle, planting tender kisses all over your cheeks, feeling your breath against his face as more whiny, needy moans leave your lips, your velvety walls tightening around his hard cock.
Simon's back bends slightly as he rests his cheek against your chest, your fast-beating heart giving him a slight sense of comfort he's never found anywhere else. His thrusts grow more desperate— faster and deeper, feeling your tits vibrate with each loud moan you're letting out, pretty legs wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer.
“My pretty girl.” Even if he's just playing pretend, the words coming out of Simon's lips feel right, his thumb massaging your cheek while he admires you from beneath him, looking just like an angel. Part of Simon pities you, knowing that he'll never be able to love you back, but he can keep pretending for as long as you need.
The knot in your stomach starts to slowly come undone with every single thrust, feeling his meaty cock throb inside you. Your head leans back against the pillow, pretty eyes closing as you allow the illusion of love to set in— to imagine what it's like to be loved by someone like Simon, to get fucked like this daily, with such tenderness and care.
Simon can feel your walls gripping him harder, only encouraging him to slam his hips against yours the way he knows you love it, the upwards curve on his veiny cock allowing him to hit your spongy cervix over and over, low groans and loud pants escaping his lips. His grip tightens around your waist, fingers digging into the skin as he gets closer to the edge, his heavy balls tightening.
Simon lets out a shaky breath as you hold him closer to your sweaty body by the waist, the arch of your back allowing both of your hearts to be against the other's, both beating wildly with the heat of the moment. His face goes back to the crook of your neck as he lets out a loud, throaty moan as he spills his hot cum into you, riding out your orgasms, feeling your tight cunt grip him like vice.
He waits a few seconds before slowly pulling out of you, cupping your cheek just to have those pretty eyes look up at him with nothing but pure trust and love— so lovely, so pure, so untainted, unlike him. He lays down next to you, wrapping his burly arms around you and bringing your exhausted body against his, cuddling you up.
He plants gentle kisses all over your pretty face, basking in the afterglow of the intense love-making, admiring you like you're a piece of art... and truly, in Simon's eyes, you are. His phone vibrates against your bedside table, reaching out for it and letting out a small sigh at the message. Duty calls, and unfortunately, Simon can't get out of a deployment, even when part of his heart stays with you.
“My mates need me for a mission.” He says softly, planting one last kiss on your forehead before getting up from bed, putting his military-provided clothes back on. He stares at the sticky notes on your desk, giving you a small glance before leaning down and writing something on it, ripping the paper away from the rest and putting it down on your bedside table so you won't forget.
“'S my captain's number. Give 'im a call, yeah? He'll answer.” He promises, not daring to leave until you give him a small nod in confirmation, shooting you one last glance before leaving your room, the entrance door slamming shut soon after.
Your already teary eyes stare at the number written down on the sticky note, looking more enticing by the second.
John Price.
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jayktoralldaylong · 1 month ago
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One of my favourite things about Arcane is that all the couples can be read as toxic, which is GREAT.
I'm tired of people bringing morality debates into dark media. Let dark media be fucking dark. You guys wouldn't survive a day in the TMA fandom, needing everyone to be as good as gold. How are they going to make for enjoyable complex characters if they're not morally grey. In fact, I wish there'd been more expansion on just how morally black they can become!
"CaitVi is so toxic" According to lesbian statistics, that sounds just about accurate. 💀 Heck, I wish Caitlyn had done more (Not really, but it would have been nice to further explore the darkness in her heart). Isn't it adorable how she immediately folded as soon as Vi called her cupcake? Caitlyn's like one of those villains that will consistently do the most....until it comes to someone else hurting her girlfriend. The only one allowed to hurt her girlfriend is her. 💀
Then let's talk about Vi. Someone pointed out how Vi never cared about Zaun's independence in the first place and many people yelled that they were wrong. But actually, they were right. Vi never wanted Zaun. Zaun was Silco's dream, and Jinx inherited that dream cause Silco would never shut up about it. Vi wanted Piltover to take responsibility for all the shit they allowed to happen in the Undercity. That's a part of the reason she joined up with Caitlyn in the first place. Let's not forget she wasn't dissuaded when she dragged Jayce down to fight with her and he killed a child. Children been dying, it's been her whole life. Someone needed to do something about it, and Zaun would have just isolated the people from all the privileges that Piltover SHOULD have been providing for them. Some people just can't accept that Independence cannot in fact solve every problem, and sometimes independence is colonisers running away from the responsibility of fixing the mess that they started in the first place.
Besides, we all know Vi joined up with the Enforcers because "I feel like I am worthless if I can't be of service." She'd already run out of family members to serve, Caitlyn was the next best thing. She's just like Jayce.
And speaking of Jayce, let's talk about his violent levels of codependency with anyone who'll give him attention. People LOOOOVE to talk about Mel, but it's there with Viktor too. When bro wasn't basing his worth on his inventions, he was centering it around Viktor.
Viktor who decided at some point in his life that he would not LIVE without Jayce. He was fine dying without him, but living without him was unacceptable. Oh how healthy. 🙄😂 Viktor be the kind of toxic ex to threaten divorce 500 times over, then burn the world when you actually leave him. Jayce is no better cause he's the kind of guy to keep going back to his toxic Ex.
Yes, Mel is manipulative. That's what I love about her. How are you guys failing to give this woman the praise of being an outsider in Piltover, but running their entire council. 💀 Girl raises her hand once and the whole government starts spinning. She was the best sugar mummy Jayce and Viktor could ever ask for. She kept the whole city running. Literally the entire of Piltover dancing on her palm. And yes she manipulated Jayce but let's not forget she thought that was a love language. 💀 You wanna be mad at someone, be mad at Ambessa for raising her that way.
I also don't think it's fair to blame her for the Undercity situation, she's not native. Monkey see, monkey do, and not a single one of those Council members actually cared about the situation down there, it was deplorable. 💀 Jayce did way more in his two weeks as Councillor than any of those drug pushing, money laundering, Piltovian heads of government.
And that just covers MelJayVik, we don't even need to get fully into TimeBomb, cause we know what's wrong there. 💀 Surely we have not forgotten the many teammates Jinx has killed, but making sure to never kill Ekko cause that's her man. Ekko has a lot to unpack, like how his consistent and unwavering love for Jinx is an indication of a lot of doors he might not be ready to open. I know they dynamics go crazy and I love to see it.
Ambessa and Sevika are a crack ship but I'm sure we all know bedroom dynamics go crazy with Mrs. Warlord and Miss Liberation. I love it when characters clash in a toxic heap. It's insane and should be explored.
Quit saintifying my toxic ships with your woke morality debates. If you want everyone to be sunshine and rainbows then you should be watching literally anything else. 💀 "It's not healthy." GOOD, I like it that way. 💀 Angst, spice and trauma are the recipe for a plethora of explorative fanfiction. Any of their dynamics can be taken in any toxic direction and I want that EXPLORED.
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wosofutbolfan · 20 days ago
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I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar
Alexia Putellas x Explorer!R
8.5k Fluff, Fun, Minor Angst
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Hi Guys,
This is pt4. in the 'I Would Climb Every Mountain With You" otherwise known as Explorer!R Universe. TW: description of killing an animal.
Highly recommend you read those 3 first, as this is entrenched in lore. Pt 1 can be found here.
It's developed from an ask I received from @karsonromanoff so thank you so much for the idea! I hope I did it justice and I'm sorry for the delay and the words. ha.
This is the first time I've written since my dad died. I'm not being emo or heavy about it but I am asking to please, be kind. I know there's nice people out there but often they're drowned out by the loud haters.
So throw us a comment, like or reblog if you enjoyed. I'm just trying to get back into something that brought me joy. I know I enjoyed writing it.
Also, may be weird for a fic about a spanish gay footballer, but you probably need a good working knowledge of Bear Grylls to understand 80% of this. ha.
As has become tradition, here's the song running though my head when writing! Yes, my music taste remains to be that of someone born in 1962. God love Helen Reddy.
“Vamos Ale! I don’t like to make Miguel wait…” you shout from the kitchen, bag resting on the countertop as you try to fix your bracelet with your left hand,
“Deja de preocuparte, a él no le importa, I will be one minute…” you head called back from the bedroom where your wife had been getting dressed for 2 hours now.
Yes.
Your wife.
Sometimes you couldn’t believe it.
Sometimes the weight of the band on your finger catches you by surprise and you’d remember.
Sometimes Alexia would place her hand on your bare thigh and you could feel the cool metal on your skin and you’d remember.
Sometimes you’d get called “Mrs Putellas” at a school talk, or at the Doctors, and you’d remember.
It felt so natural that sometimes you’d forget that you weren’t always Alexia's wife.
But now you are. And had been for almost 6 months. And married life couldn’t have suited you more.
Your wedding ring was your new favourite accessory, you never took it off.
In a fire you would save Alexia and your ring.
Maybe even your ring first.
It was embossed with the imprint of grass that Alexia has been collecting from each pitch of each game she had played in since you had met. The intricate design brought tears to your eyes as soon as you saw it. Made even worse by the inscription “’cause you are my goal”. 
You would be embarrassed if Alexia hadn’t cried like a toddler when you presented her with the ring you had made for her, which had rock from each of the 7 peaks you had scaled, as well as a granule of sand from the Dead Sea set within it. Integrated into the metal, visible but smooth to the touch. 
The inscription 'every mountain high, every valley low' on the inside of the band.
You knew you’d done good and you knew your Ale well enough to anticipate the absolute mess she would be when presented with it, ensuring you had a pocket full of tissues for the inevitable waterfall.
You weren’t wrong.
You had to assure a passing couple on the trail you had chosen that she was fine, not having a medical incident and you were definitely not mid break-up but in fact exchanging wedding bands early because you knew your fiance well enough she didn’t need her teammates to witness this much of her soft side.
Though you tried, they still saw enough on your wedding day to tease her for the last 6 months with no sign of slowing down.
Though right now your wife's behaviour was nothing but unexpected. You had agreed to attend one of Alexia's events this evening. Since getting married you had felt more of a duty to attend and make up for the years you’d left her carrying her own handbag whilst you trotted over mountains on the other side of the world. 
She insisted that you didn’t have to. Like she always did. You weren’t one for the fancy dresses and the flashing cameras. But you saw the gleam of hope in her eyes as she insisted she would be fine on her own.
You couldn’t let that sparkle dim.
Also you had to set off for a camp in a few days and you had gotten seriously stuck in the honeymoon phase meaning that an evening without your wife by your side wasn’t something you could stomach.
Not that you would admit to being so clingy.
But it wasn’t like Ale to take so long to get ready, neither of you being particularly fussy, usually she would throw on some light makeup, smack your bum whilst you ate nutella off a knife under the hob light, procrastinating getting ready until she dragged you and dropped you into the ensuite, steal a kiss and a spray of perfume, and wait for you whilst watching old football clips in the living room.
But now, as you still struggled to attach the clasp of your bracelet and you had one eye on the poor Barca driver, Miguel, waiting in your driveway, you started to grow frustrated at your wife's sudden vanity.
You smelt her perfume invading your senses as you felt her arms envelope you from behind, moving your uncoordinated left hand away and easily attaching the clasp of your bracelet for you, pressing a kiss to your neck as she did so.
“Finalmente… Let’s g-...” you spoke as you turned in her embrace, finally taking in her attire which stopped you in your tracks.
“Boobs”
You had suddenly turned into a 14 year old boy and you couldn’t explain it.
You had seen your wife naked hundreds of times.
Hundreds of fantastic times.
But here she stood looking, regal. Her hair falling lightly over her face, her dark sparkly dress with wide shoulders and only what you could describe as a boob portal you had been rendered speechless. Mouth gaping open like a fish.
“...Amor?...” you heard the delight in her voice. “Are you listening to me… my eyes are up here.” she jokingly clicked her fingers in front of your face which took you out of your breast-inspired trance.
“Ale you are so beautiful” you looked deeply into her eyes but you didn’t miss the blush rising from her neck. And you meant it. She was. Wow. 
“Do you like it?” she asked, shyly, “You don’t think it’s too much? It’s just the first event we’ve gone to together since we got married and I wanted to…”
You interrupt her but pressing a kiss to her lips, and, well, if you slipped a little tongue in there then fine. She was your wife after all.
“What? Show the world what they're missing out on? I am so proud to stand by your side, my love.” you whispered into her lips, as you toyed with her wedding band. 
You couldn’t help yourself…”and your boobs are fantastic.” 
She barked out a laugh as you leaned back into where you left off, but she took a step back, her heel clicking against the tile floor, to which you let out an annoyed grumble.
“Oi Oi, Mi Amor. What about poor Miguel, he is waiting, Si?” she teased.
“He doesn’t care… Cálla y bésame.”
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You took a deep breath and leaned back on your chair at the round table you found yourself at. Alexia had been pulled from your side which she had stuck to like glue all evening,  to go and present the final award of the evening which she had just done, very sexily if you do say so yourself. All confident and boob-y.
You smiled, imagining her now making small talk backstage, eyes bored but a smile plastered on her face as she tried to make her way back to your table.
Your other table-mates seemed to take the opportunity of the break in the ceremony to raid the free bar put on by the charity. Which seemed very uncharitable of them. But, as you toyed with the rim of your glass, who were you to judge?
Stomach full from a mediocre-mass produced meal and head happily fuzzy from the bubbles you had consumed you found yourself oddly satisfied as you sat here. In this conference room-turned auditorium in the middle of Barcelona, here, loudly and proudly as Alexia's wife.
Mrs Putellas.
You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, you felt weirdly grown-up. With your wife, your house, and your business. You blinked and missed yourself becoming so settled and for once in your life you weren’t terrified of the idea.
You saw the glint in Alexia's eye. When Irene and her wife would come round for dinner and bring their kid. She’d surrender all hostess duties and sit on the living room floor, crawling around at the beck and call of whatever imaginary game the 5 year old insisted on. You’d seen her perfect her lion roar in that very spot. It probably matched the glint in yours when you were grocery shopping and a child being pushed in a trolley would go past shoving cookies into the trolley without their Mother seeing.
Maybe, you thought, maybe it was time…
“It is you! I am so sorry to interrupt. I had to come over to introduce myself. I am such a fan…”
You glanced around, expecting Alexia to be standing over your shoulder and smiling politely at the person who had approached your table to meet her… but you were met with blank space and then you engaged your silly brain and realised the person was speaking English and looking at you and…
Oh My God.
It’s Bear Grylls.
“Oh My God. You’re Bear Grylls.” 
You let out. 
Stupidly.
Standing and thrusting your hand out like an idiot to your legitimate childhood hero.
You and your brother would watch his series for hours as children. Sat cross-legged 2 inches from the TV on your living room floor, eating up every second of his adventures. Your mum had to stop you from eating a woodlouse once in your garden because you’d seen him eat a cricket in the Amazon the evening before. Your brother smacked upside the head for trying to drink a cup of his own wee for the same reason.
Now you were a well-seasoned adventurer yourself you knew that all of that was for theatricks. 
You had spent more than 7 weeks wandering the Amazon yourself once, and not one drop of urine passed your lips. Not one 8 legged insect had you gulped down in one.
But still.
Hero.
He took your hand graciously, as you both sat back down you prepared to barrage him with questions but before you could he jumped right in…
“I have been wanting to meet you for years. But my team said you had disappeared off to Spain and couldn’t be tracked down. Please, I've been desperate to know. .. Tell me all about summiting Orjas del Salado…”
So you told him, and you asked him about his adventures, and you chatted for what could have been hours, sharing stories and advice with Bear-fucking-Grylls.
He blushed as you pointed out his for-TV tricks and you thanked him for being a portal into the wider world from your living room.
At some point you felt Alexia return, a strong hand on your shoulder. You paused your monologue about Patagonia and giddily took her hand in yours, introducing them to each other. 
Polite pleasantries exchanged you could tell she had legitimately no idea what was going on or who this middle-aged English guy at your table was, but judging from your excited eyes, she didn’t need to interrupt.
It didn’t take too long for someone from his team to pull him away for an interview with the charity. But as you stood to say your goodbyes he made an offer, “You know, me and the production company are making a special about survival in the Alps… I would love for you to be a guest star.”
You stood there like a gaping fish for a moment. “Really?” you asked, in wonder, your 7 year old self spinning around in glee in your chest. Alexia smiling up at you from her chair at the joy in your voice.
“Of course! I would be honored, it’s especially about how to survive in an Avalanche situation. Obviously, with what happened in Nepal…you are an expert in that fie…”
At that point, Alexia stopped her polite silence she had been maintaining whilst you had your moment with your childhood hero. And abruptly stood, clutching your hand hard in both of hers, stern look on her face.
“No.”
From the look on his face you gathered that this successful upper-middle class white English man had not been told no too often, and a beat of silence followed which Alexia was more than happy to fill.
“Sorry Señor Oso. She doesn’t do snow now. Thank you for the offer though.”
She said it with such finality that even you didn’t think to question it. Her mis-translation brought a smile to your face. Her hands still encompassed yours, her eyes didn’t leave his face. As though daring him to rebuff her.
He looked at you as though to confirm she could answer for you. Of course she could. But you knew this refusal wasn’t just about you, but about her also. You knew the anxiety it would cause her for you to put yourself in that situation wasn’t worth anything on this planet.
Nevermind the trauma it would dredge up for you. So obviously, you agreed.
“Sorry Mr Grylls. Not my rodeo anymore. I’ve got some contacts though who you could work with” you politely confirmed your refusal and felt Alexias hands lessen their grip on yours in relief.
“No, no, of course. Sorry. But no. I would really love for you to be involved in the series. We have an episode about promoting women in outdoor pursuits. It's still on the drawing board, but if you are interested I’ll get our people to liaise with each other!”
“That sounds amazing but… I don’t have any people for you to…”
“Don’t be silly Mi Amor” Alexia interrupts again, hand still in yours and the other expertly reaching into her clutch and pushing a card into his outstretched hand… “We have people. Please, Oso, be in touch.”
Smiling vaguely and confusedly at your wife, still clearly mildly terrified of her, he takes the card as he's dragged away by his handler. He's probably still in hearing distance as you squeal in glee and throw yourself into your wife's arms, making her spin with the momentum.
“Ale, Ale, Ale!!! Do you know who that was….” you exclaim.
She can’t help but laugh aloud at your antics, soft look on her face as she lifts you lightly off the ground to stop your spin.
“Si Mi Amor, ese era el hombre oso de la televisión. Tu favorito.” she replies with a smile on her face, speaking softly, somehow, in the middle of this event where she was the guest star, making you feel as though you were the only person in the universe.
“No.” you corrected “..eres mi favorito.” You sealed your words with a light kiss to her lips, chaste but warm.
“Ah, Si. And you have had some wine. You always get soft after wine.” she lightly rolls her eyes with affection at your gushing over her.
It’s your turn to roll your eyes as you pull her into a soft sway, your childhood hero quickly forgotten now you’re in the company of your wife.
Though the giddiness in your bones from your encounter remains.
“Si the wine.” you agree moving your lips close to her ear as you whisper, breath dancing against her cheek, your hand moves to her chest and you feel her breath falter at your closeness,
“but also your boobs.” and you quickly poke her exposed chest between her breasts before she can stop you, and you move away from her pulling her behind you as you rush off to the bar.
“Amor!” she cackles.
“Vamos Ale! A La Barra!”
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Estoy Muerta.”
You grumble in complaint into the chest of the warm and moving pillow that you had clearly settled on in the night.
“Shh Ale.”
“Me estoy muriendo y a mi esposa no le importa.”
“You are not dying Ale. You are hungover and over 30”, you mumble in reply, moving away from resting on her chest, the heat becoming too much for your own fuzzy brain.
“Explain to me how that is different.” she doesn’t take kindly to your light chuckle in reply, as you move your hand to cover your eyes from the sunlight starting to bleed through the curtains.
You peek an eye open and see the remnants of your previous night strewn across the bedroom floor.
You take in the glorious dress of your wifes thrown across your chest of drawers. You recall unzipping it with your mouth after making very good use of the boob portal. Much to Alexia's delight.
You had probably taken it a little bit too far at the bar. Your giddiness let your binge-drinking brit out a little too much.
You had a flash of memory at dancing on a table at a dive bar in the town centre, before being brought down by Alba who you had called and demanded come and dance the night away.
Meanwhile Alexia had been in the corner trying to drunkenly explain to Mapi a set of complicated tactics that they should try out at an additional training session in the morning.
“I thought you had scheduled extra training today Ale” you teased after taking in her pasty complexion as you rolled over and settled back down onto your, cooler, side of the bed.
“I hate you.” she replied, quite seriously, as she moulded herself against your back, taking your hand in hers and burying her face into the back of your neck.
“Of course you do, dear, it feels like it.” you tease again, wiggling yourself and making her grumble again.
You rest there for a few moments, before you’re dragged onto your back again and pulled into Alexia's embrace as she moves you around like her own personal teddy bear.
You go with the flow, quite used to your wife's clingy nature, especially when she didn't feel well.
But your silence doesn’t last two minutes before she rolls you over again, now onto your back, “Oh bloody hell, where are we going now.” you mumble, as she rests her head on your chest this time, nuzzling into your breasts.
“me estoy poniendo cómodo.” she mutters into your bosom, “allá. ahora estoy cómodo”. You run your hands through her hair, smiling down at your wife who is practically purring at the attention.
“Bebé…”, you make a noise of affirmation.
“Will you…” you know what she wants, and you know she must be feeling bad if she’s asking for attention.
“Si, my love. voy a trenzar tu cabello. One big plait or lots of little ones?”. 
“The tingly ones por favor” she mumbles into your chest. Your heart expands at her adorableness, never quite learning the English for ‘french plait’ they became known as the ‘tingly ones’ in your household, because of the feeling she would get as you plaited her wet hair after a game, hands working through her scalp. 
It brings a smile to your face and you can see the lovesick smile on hers where it is squished against your chest.
You start to section out her hair as she lies still, your ministrations slowly putting her to sleep, working methodically in the quiet morning.
Moving strand over strand in intricate braids, lightly tugging her scalp and undoing when it's not perfect and redoing, giving her an extra scratch to the soft skin behind her ear when you get there, knowing it's her most sensitive spot. Receiving a sleepy purr in satisfaction as your reward.
You hear the animals from the national park outside, feel the sun starting to warm the room around you. Her chest rising and falling against yours hypnotising you further into the moment. You’ve got grand plans, brunch and a walk along the beach in your mind, maybe a lazy afternoon swim, hold on no. Maybe a lazy afternoon skinny dip. Yeah.
That sounds good.
You’ve almost finished tying off the last plait when you are startled back into the moment by the buzzing of your wifes phone on the bedslide table.
You fight back a smile at the groan that is emitted from your fully grown-pro-athlete-wife.  It resembled that of a teenager who’d been asked to clean their room or no dessert. When she doesn’t go to make a move you nudge her shoulder.
“Ale. Ale, your phone."
“No.”
“Yes."
“No."
“C'mon Ale.” you reach across and pick the phone up. “It could be important. It could be your secret wife wondering where you are.”
She rolls off you at your tease, throwing you a glare that resembles more of an angry kitten than anything, “It could not be, she knows where I am. I snuck out whilst you were dancing on the tables in that last bar to make plans for dinner.”
“Ah, Si of course. My mistake.”
She surges up and gives you a completely unnecessary chaste kiss, as though even the joke is too much and she has to confirm she’s kidding. The phone has stopped vibrating against the bedside table and the silence that settles over you both is welcome.
“How are you so okay? I feel like I have been run over by a truck.” she states as she rubs her face, finally sitting up to start the day.
“You are old.
“I am 2 months older than you.”
“Two, very long, months my darling.” you tap her cheek lightly as you move to get out of bed, throwing on one of her oversized t-shirts you find on the floor.
“Seria, how?” she asks again, now sprawling across the space you have vacated.
“I am English. I once did a vodka shot through my eyeball in the park. I was 14.” you state, plainley, eyebrow raised in challenge as she just looks at you, open mouthed.
“Ojalá no hubiera preguntado.” she mutters, as her phone starts to ring again.
“Ale, phone.” you say, just to annoy her.
“¡lo sé!” you hear thrown at you, as you head downstairs to set some food out for Billy-the-Goat, and make a coffee for your dying wife.
Soon after, you feel her presence behind you as you stir her coffee, turning as you feel her hands wrap around your waist and presenting her coffee and she takes it from you as though it's a ballon d’or. She takes a sip before she presses a kiss to your head.
“That was my agent.”
Your heart drops, and you can’t help the petulant whine that leaves your lips.
“No, Ale! I wanted to spend the day together. Try that new brunch place Alba told us about. Have a swim, just be together. Whatever brand needs you can wait. Tell them no, please” you finish your little monologue with a pout, and you feel a childish frustration rise as a laugh teases against her lips.  You don’t get very far when a kiss is pressed against your lips.
“Well that sounds like the perfect hangover cure Mi Amor. Do you not want me to tell you what it is before I tell them no though?” there's something in her taunt, a glint in the eye that makes you think twice as your mouth already wraps around the refusal.
You take a moment too long apparently, and she takes things into her own hands as she clutches her coffee happily and spins around, “I’ll tell them no! Don’t worry Mi Amor…” teasing lilt in her tone. Whatever the news is, it has pulled her from her hangover.
You wait a beat
Another.
“Fine, What is it!” you groan out in defeat, hands raised to the sky, Alexias t-shirt riding high on your thighs as you raise your arms.
Your wife turns and is distracted momentarily by the flesh on display. Before you cough and she remembers what she's supposed to be doing. Coy smile on her face returning.
“That was my agent…” you huff out at her drawing out the anticipation. “Or should I say our agent.” your brow furrows in confusion as she continues… “she has been contacted by a muy interesado oso.”
Realisation starts to dawn on you, memories of the previous night flashing in your mind and you can’t help the grin that forms.
“Si, Mi Amor. It turns out he really meant it. She said they were willing to offer anything to get you on. She’s getting the details now and will contact us again after our day together today to see if you are interested”.
“I am interested!” you exclaim with glee, Alexia throwing her head back in laughter.
“I know Amor, but let's let them sell it to you. You need the details. Though… I am sure it is no more dangerous than ojos de vodka.”
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Hola, love!” you shout into your empty hallway, hands full of groceries, you shuck off your trainers, hearing them thump against the wall as you struggle into the kitchen.
Tonight was the premiere of “Man Vs Woman” , the special episode of your and Bear's adventure. After the offer was made you met with the TV production company via Zoom to go through ideas.
You pretended you didn’t know Alexia was standing just outside the door to your study, listening and clearly deciding if she thought it was too dangerous or not. At least that's what you deduced from her interrupting with a cup of tea every time a particularly hairy idea was mentioned.  
When you brought this up with her you pretended you didn't see her blush creeping up from her neck. Because you’re her wife and it was the wifely thing to do.
The concept was a really cool one. You were excited from the start. The idea was that you and Bear would both be dropped in an inhospitable environment with a map and a knife and nothing else. Neither of you would be told what type of environment but you had assurances in your contract that it wouldn’t involve snow. You had 28 days to get to the muster point. Whoever got there first won.
Simple.
Convincing Alexia it was really cool. Less simple.
“Amor what if there are animals!”
“I know how to avoid dangerous animals. And there will be a medical team on standby,”
“What if you fall and cut yourself on your knife."
“What if you get tackled and break your leg?”
“That's different. What if you lose your map and can’t find your way out and you have to live out there forever”
“I will always find my way back to you.”
“What If-”
“Ale.”
You stopped her rambling with a kiss and when you pulled away you looked deeply in her eyes.
“Que pasa I miss you too much?” eyes wide and vulnerable.
There we go. Her real source of anxiety.
You had spent more time apart than most couples but since you scaled down your travels you had fallen into a sweet domesticity you could admit was a struggle to pull yourself from. 28 days plus the week before to get to the location is longer than you’d like. But it was an adventure of a lifetime. Maybe… maybe your last adventure? The thoughts had been creeping in more and more recently.
Of early mornings chasing more than sunrises, maybe rising due to a baby's babble instead?
You’d made sure that Alexia really knew how much you’d miss her the night before you flew out. On reflection maybe you should have rested your muscles a little more before such a physically demanding month but. Be serious. Look who your wife was. 
You are not God's strongest soldier.
So, off you had gone. Competing against your childhood hero for all of womanhood. And you couldn’t lie. You loved it.
Being blindfolded and dropped in an unknown location was exhilarating. Learning the land as you went, with only a map and a knife in hand it was one of the biggest challenges of your life.
The team had made good on their promise and the tropical rainforest you were in couldn’t be further from a snowy mountain range.
You’d refused to let anything slip to Alexia in the 3 months you’d been back. Lips tightly sealed no matter what she tried. You wanted her to be surprised and watch it in real time with you. In all the games you'd attended since you had to deal with an injured Mapi yapping your ear off whilst you tried to concentrate on the game, probing for hints about if you won, what you won, where you were, if you wrestled a snake, how big was the snake you’d wrestled.
“Maria stop with the snake!” you’d finally snapped during the tense quarter final of the Queen's cup.
Which had worked.
For all of two seconds.
“What did the snake taste like?”
You’d originally planned to go home to England with Alexia to watch the premier with your family. But then a schedule mess-up in the league had meant that Ale had to play in a rescheduled game the day after the premier. It just didn’t work for her to come to England.
She insisted you still go, but you refused. You wanted to watch her game. And you knew she’d need you when the show was on. Even if she didn’t know that yet.
You started to unpack your groceries mindlessly, you’d picked some great snacks for the evenings viewing, you suddenly were hit with how suspiciously peaceful your house was, though, you were sure you’d seen Alexia's car in the drive.
“Ale! Love!, ¡Estoy en casa! Come help me unpack!” You shouted into your empty kitchen, back turned to your living room, you had a few hours before the show was on air, “I got that ice-cream you like! I know it gives you a tummy ache sometimes but don’t worry, I'll rub your tummy how you like afte…”
“Amor!”
You turned around at the panic in her voice, “Wha–”
“SURPRISE!”
Ale stood in your living area, face reddening, surrounded by her closest Barca teammates as well as Mario, his ever pregnant wife and his kids, your mum and brother as well as Eli and Alba. Everyone comically in paper party hats and some lop-sided bunting was up above your couch,
“HOPE YOU BEAT THE BEAR SNAKE!” it read, and you immediately knew who was on the decoration committee.
You jumped in surprise, dropping the ice cream and immediately ran into your mum's open arms, “Mum! You’re here!” you squealed into her neck, hiding the tears that had appeared in her presence.
“I am, love. Alexia literally wouldn’t let us refuse the flight. She pretended she didn’t understand English when we tried to at least pay for it. And you know I have a 265 day streak on duolingo but my accent must need work because she didn’t understand my Spanish.”
You pulled yourself from her neck with a wet laugh and transferred yourself into your wifes open and familiar strong arms. “Aleeee” you whined. She knew you meant thank you. And I love you. And you mean the world to me. But you were too British to do that infront of people.
“You need to stop pretending you don’t speak English when you don’t like what you hear.” you muttered without malice after placing a kiss below her ear.
“I know amor. I love you too. And your family needed to be here for your big moment! You couldn’t miss this with them because of me. And then also. Mapi happened and now we’re having a viewing party! There's a cake!”
“And Ice Cream Ale! Don’t worry, I’ve saved it! Though we don’t want your barriga to hu-” Mapi stands the space you'd just vacated holding up the abandoned and slightly battered carton of ice cream. She's stopped from her gleeful teasing by Ingrid covering her entire face with one big palm.
“We wanted to be here to support you.” Ingrid interrupted her girlfriend, addressing you kindly.
“We all did!” you hear from Alba in the back, already tucking into the buffet set up on the coffee table, paper hat skew-whiff on her head. You have never felt so loved. It was perfect.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“So, when are you going to tell her you’re ready for them?”
You are brought out of your daydream by Ingrid sidling up to you and addressing you with her familiar soft lilt.
“Huh?”
She doesn’t reply vocally, just nods her head towards your wife, who is currently having a very intense game of 2v2 in your garden with 2 of Marios youngest and Mapi.
The kids little legs making them toddle around after the small ball adorably, Mapi and Ale giving soft touches they would easily catch up with.
You can’t help but laugh out loud as Ale takes Mapi by surprise and takes a shot against her hard, the ball catching her bare thigh in a manner which must have left a sting much to the small Spaniard's disdain.
Her and the two kids start to chase Alexia around the garden, dramatically tackling her as she suddenly becomes some sort of football monster, rolling around and blowing raspberries on their stomachs as Mapi cheers her toddler army on from the sidelines.
You feel another knock against your arm, dislodging your hand which is supporting your head as you lean over the breakfast bar facing the garden. Lovesick looks clearly on your face, going off Ingrid's coy smile.
“You know, barn. Kids. Munchkins…”
“Yeah, Yeah I get it Ingrid…” you steal another look outside at your more-often-than-not-stern wife getting grass stains on her comfy shorts for the entertainment of your best friends' kids, suddenly you feel like being really really honest. You turn to Ingrid with a shy smile of your own, “soon.”
Her face lights up, teeth on display unable to disguise her smile. “Yeah?” she asks, before turning to look towards the garden, “Me too.”
You smile to yourself and drop your head onto the dark haired girl's shoulder, you both taking a moment to watch your partners play with the kids. The moment is ruined by your mum mussing up your hair on her way past,
“Come on Love, we need to wrangle these last-minute spaniards, it starts in 10 minutes!”
She had a point to be fair. A very chaotic 8 minutes later you practically push Eli into her seat on the couch after she tries to get another plate full of food for Mario’s wife, “¡Está llena de Eli! ella esta embarazada no tiene hambre!” you cheekily remind her, your wife looking up at you from her place on the floor with tender eyes.
“And you…” you turn your attention towards her as you make your way to your seat, “get up here.” you demand, patting the empty space next to you.
“I’m bueno down here Mi Amor, me and Bruno can watch from down here.” she insists. the 4 year old of Marios nestled on her stomach, her arms wrapped around his sleeping form where he attached himself to her after being forced back inside.
You hesitate for a moment, not watching to make a scene or be too needy in front of all your closest family and friends, but you knew that Ale would need to be within touching distance of you in the next hour. 
You’re about to make your peace with it when Mario glaces your way. You and Mario have worked together for years. Years before you met Ale and the girls.
You’ve battled more than just bears together. Weeks spent isolated in the mountains. And a bond like that means that you can communicate with just a look.
With just that glance he’s up and pulling his toddler into his own burley arms. Bruno remaining in his deep sleep through the change.
“I’ve got el monstruo Ale. Go sit with your wife."
She doesn’t need any more direction, the small interaction is subtle and missed by everyone, except your brother who sends you an exaggerated puppy dog look.
“Fuck off” you throw at him, finger in the air, quickly grabbed by Alexia, “Hey, I thought you wanted me to sit here!” she teases, sending your brother a wink.
“Stop ganging up on me…!” you’re about to protest further before you’re shushed by Mapi, of all people, sitting on the floor between Ingrid's legs who sits on the couch above her. “It's about to start!”
She has a point, a familiar British accent fills the living room, Spanish subtitles appearing on the bottom of the screen for the Spanish contingent. Bear’s voice is as dramatic as ever, long sweeping scenes fill the screen of intense jungle, a crocodile and an action shot of a snake thrown in for good measure.
“Serpiente!” Mapi shouts, pointing at the screen, before Ingrid hushes her and pulls her back against her legs. 
           “We all know by now that humans are masters of the jungle. But the unanswered question remains. Is it the King, or Queen of the Jungle? Find out tonight in Man V Woman.”
The title fills the screen with a dramatic crescendo of music. Your friends and family whooping as though it's the champions league final. Alexia barely contains her excitement next to you. You had been steadfast in your refusal to tell anyone the outcome.
The next shot is a recognisable one, the sound of trees being hacked with a machete accompanies a close up of a muddy puddle set deep in the jungle, until the water is disturbed by a ever-familiar battered boot stomping in the puddle, blaugrana laces pulled tight, as proudly as ever.
This prompts another wild round of jeering from the crowd around you as the camera pans out and reveals your full profile as Alexia places a loving kiss onto your shoulder, “That's my wife!” she shouts, proudly, making you laugh. 
Bear's voice over continues as you pull Alexia's hand into yours, half pulling her on top of you, she gives you a peculiar look, this being more PDA than you would usually allow in front of your English family, but she goes with it, too full of pride to be worried otherwise.
As the voiceover continues, highlights of your career flash across the screen to introduce you to the audience.
Mountains in Peru, Arctic Explorations, Treks across Siberia, all flash across the screen, mixed in with childhood pictures your mum must have supplied painting a picture of your career so far and your expertise in your career.
The music turns more dramatic as you shift uncomfortably, being the only one to realise in the room what's about to happen.
A picture of you smiling with Arjan at the peak of Everest, ice picks raised proudly in the air. You feel Alexia stiffen on your lap, ever so subtly. Stock footage of snow hurling down a mountain as Bear describes the avalanche you got trapped in.
He gives out stats and figures to heighten the drama… “your chance of survival drops 3% every minute you are trapped after the first 15 minutes… being trapped for 2 days… our guest star did the unthinkable…”
The room is bathed in a white light as the screen changes. Camera shaky and audio changing to the shouts and heavy breaths of whoever the body worn camera is strapped too. “Yahām̐, Yahām̐, she is here!”
The camera catches Arjan digging desperately, it's clear now the camera is strapped to a rescuer on the slopes of Everest, the TV production company having access to the footage through a sister company who were filming a documentary about altitude rescue at the time.
It shakes as the man helps dig, grunts of exertion as the spade digs desperately. A flash of colour and your snow suit is revealed, face pressed up against the rock you had found shelter near.
Arjan clears snow from your face desperately and puts his head close to yours, “She’s breathing!” he pulls you up and your hand, satellite phone frozen in place, falls from the side of your ghostly white face as the camera fades out.
The whole segment couldn’t have lasted more than 32 seconds. But it had felt like time had slowed. You could feel from her placement on you that Alexia hadn’t taken a breath. Her eyes remained wide as she stared at the screen.
There was a heaviness in the room around you. 
The voiceover continued, explaining the challenge to the audience but the silence continued. Eli glances at her daughter worriedly, every few seconds.
Just as you thought the tension couldn’t get any more intense… “That's what Alexia looks like when she visits England for Christmas and mum won’t let us put the heating on.” your brother jokes, awkwardly, a crooked smile on his boyish face. 
The room is silent, your mum hiding a smile behind a hand only you notice. He goes to speak again, probably to apologise when-
Alexias' laugh shocks even you, bubbling up from deep within her chest. She closes her eyes, a stray tear escaping at the pressure. Laugh still rumbling deep in her chest, slowly the room joins in, as though they’ve been given permission, and soon your in a choir of laughing spectators, your brother blushing deep red at the attention.
“Thank you” you mouth to him across the room, as you wrap your hands around your wife, whos body still shakes with the odd giggle.
He tips an imaginary hat at you in return.
Because he is an idiot.
The challenge begins, unhelpfully, with you throwing yourself out of a helicopter into the rainforest, “Oh Dios Mio” she mumbles, heard subtly under Mapis, “Cool!”.
You press your lips against her shoulder again and mutter into her skin; “I am here, I am warm, I am Safe.” Like a mantra, you feel her nod and grip your hand tighter.
The thing about being in the environment completely opposite to an avalanche inducing mountain range, was that it was hot. Hot and wet. The camera follows both you and Bear as you struggle through the elements seperatly, deciding when to camp down and preserve energy and when to try to gain more miles.
Bear goes hard, and Mapi looks up at you aghast as you decide to build a shelter and bunker down for seven days straight. The heat zapping any energy you had.
“What are you doing! It's a race!” she exclaims, to which you laugh and zip your mouth closed with your fingers, cocking an eyebrow at her as she eagerly looks back towards the TV like a small child.
You spend two days collecting water and, seemingly, according to Mapi, wasting time cutting palm leaves and collecting bark to make twine. Meanwhile Bear is hacking down trees, making spears out of sticks and rock and throwing himself at seemingly anything that would give him a bit of protein on the move.
You’ve ridden yourself of most of your clothing due to the heat. Smothering yourself in mud from the riverbank you were camped next to, you explain to the camera its sun-cream qualities and how it’s safer than clothing as it also protects you from dehydration. 
All the while you weave and weave and weave your leaves together, quietly, assuredly.
You explain to the camera; “I am a master weaver. My wife likes it when I plait her hair. Alot. She’s cute. Sorry Ale.” you wink at the camera as your wife groans on your lap and  her teammates start to tease her, “Amor! Why!”
“Now. Let's see how this works!”  you grin and pull up a large basket to the camera.
The screen shows you scantily dressed, boots safely on a rock in the background, in the river, moving twigs into position to make a run for the fish to swim directly into your basket.
You explain the contraception, set some bait and say your goodnights to the camera, crossing your fingers for a full basket in the morning.
Cheerful music begins as the camera fades back into your campfire, fish on a stick roasting and cooking heavenly, your muddied but smiling face coming into view.
“Bear can eat his roaches and drink his wee. I’ll be here with my fish buffet!” You joke, under your shelter, camera panning to tens of fish in your basket waiting to be smoked.
The next scene shows Bear explaining the protein benefits and the unusual flavours of a witchetty grub as he struggles against the rainstorm. 
The music begins to ramp up. Graphics on the screen showing both of your progress. Bear has made much more progress than you. But struggling physically. He’s developed a terrible case of trench foot but was still making steady progress with his machete.
You chose to travel up the river. Walking along its bed you are able to make more direct progress, but it’s more energy draining wading through water. You have, however, had a relatively strong diet over the last 3 weeks.
You’re sitting on the river bed, tending to your basket of smoked fish you’re carrying with you for energy when you suddenly remain completely stock still. Dramatic music begins. Your head raises subtly and then out of nowhere.
“Serpentine!”
A snake strikes at you from the shallows, clearly after your basket, or you, or whatever it can get its fangs in. You react quickly, crouching down to your knees, keeping a low centre of gravity to keep your balance as your right hand reaches into the shallows.
You and the snake strike at the same time, and you throw yourself to the side as you bash a jagged rock against its head.
The next scene shows you taking a mouthful of grilled snake; “Tastes like chicken!” you joke at the camera. Before popping a piece of charred snake skin into your mouth.
You feel Alexia shudder in your arms.
"I'm never kissing you again" she lies.
Mapi slowly turns around, mouth agape, gobsmacked look on her face. “Snake!” she whispers, in disbelief. “You beat a snake!” You can’t help but laugh and lean over to turn her head back to the TV.
“Told you you’d find everything out tonta.”
The map on screen shows the last day of the challenge, Bear's voice over explaining distances to the muster points, as well as geographical challenges. The screen swaps quickly between the two of you, running, climbing and swimming to where you both believed the finish line to be.
You were making good progress, as was Bear.
A close up of a Brazilian flag on the edge of a waterfall.
A close up of you throwing yourself into the river.
Bear gripping a cliff edge and heaving himself up. The camera shows the bottom of the flag pole as he pulls himself up. The camera pans up. And the flagpole is bare.
The screen changes to you.
Standing, still relatively scantily clad in your battered boots, your hiking shorts cut down to short-shorts and thin vest muddied and holey, fish blood staining your arms,holding the flag proudly up in one arm.
The room around you erupts. “She did it!” “¡Jefe de la Jungla!!!!” “I always knew!”, “She killed a snake!”. You find yourself at the bottom of a pile of bodies as Alexia's teammates celebrate in the way they know how. Which is apparently to throw themselves at you in a pile up.
“That's my wife!” Alexia chants proudly from within the pile, laughing gleefully, all earlier angst forgotten.
The screen goes blank, and the image shows you and Bear embracing, laughing as the voiceover continues; “... at least this time. It's a Queen of the jungle… or should I say. La Reina de la Jungla.” Bear quips, as Alexia groans, forever hating her nickname, and the screen cuts to black.
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It’s hours later, many more plates of food, celebration toasts and questions from Mapi about the snake later. That you're finally in the quiet of your bedroom in your wife's arms.
Your mum and brother are set up in the spare rooms and you have all got plans to meet up with the Alexias family at the game tomorrow before going out for a meal.
Your head is settled on her chest as she plays on her phone above you, struggling to calm down from the evening's events, and as usual, struggling to sleep before a game.  You play with her wedding ring on her spare hand. Feeling the cool metal beneath against her warm skin.
You feel her swipe furiously through her phone, getting more agitated as time passes, grumbles that are not-quite words emitting from her chest.
“Hey. Love.” you sit up and pull her phone away. “What's the matter?”
“Nothing.” she replies, bottom lip out in a pout, pulling her phone back into her hand.
“It’s not nothing. Tell me.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Alexia.” you sigh, “We aren't doing this.. What's got you so…” you look down onto her phone and see. Yourself? It's her tiktok open and you see an edit of the show being played over… “Hot Stuff? Ale. What's this?” you glance at the comments section and see a selection from seemingly anon accounts;  
‘I have never understood Alexia more’, ‘I wonder who calls who capi.’ ,‘Capi, your wife's thighs are bigger than yours’.
“Nothing!” she grabs her phone back from your grip… you arch an eyebrow at her which crumbles her resolve in 3…2…
“Fine! It's all over my TikTok.  The comments about you. The fans have made these edits. Of you! All, wet and… muscley and… nearly undressed.”
“And you…don’t… like me wet, and muscled and… naked? Cause, love, I have evidenced otherwis…”
“Shut up! Of course I do but you're mine!”
Oh. Realisation dawns on you and you can’t help but smile.
“Don’t laugh!” she grumbles. “You’re jealous….” you tease in a sing-song voice. “I am not jealous!” she insists, “It's just… tu eres mio! And these people are all looking at you”.
“I am,” you agree, with a smile. “But, love. Try being married to Alexia Putellas. Maybe you’ll keep your shirt on at games now.” you tease, making her smile and roll her eyes.
Eyes softening as you pull her phone from her grip and plug it in for her. Settling back into her chest, nuzzling against the warm skin you find there.
“I am so proud of you.” she whispers into the now dark room, placing a kiss on your head. The moment became more serious and tender.
“I love you” you reply, softly, the moment feels weighted, and you’re not sure what makes you do it. Maybe it's the adrenaline of the evening, having completed your life's ambition, or maybe it's the wine you drank.
Though, really, you know it's because of the images of your lanky wife curling herself onto the rug in the living room because Bruno had decided she was the world's best pillow again. But you can’t stop yourself.
“Ale. I want to have kids with you.”
Her hand stops its movement in your hair and she rushes over to turn the bedside lamp back on.
“Que?” she breathes out. Hands finding their place softly on your cheeks, a look of urgency in her eyes.
“I want us to have kids. Me and you. I want that with you. Is that something you’re ready for?” you whisper, eyes looking deeply into hers.
“En serio?” she asks, as though she's afraid of the answer.
You nod in response. Moving your hand to wipe away the tears that have appeared on her cheeks.
“Sí, Mi Amor. Quiero eso contigo. Mucho.”
You're both smiling too much to kiss, but you make a good go of it anyway. And as you bury yourself into your wife's arms. Hands roaming and adrenaline of a decision made rushing through your body you can't help but think.
This is the beginning of the biggest adventure of your life. 
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