#it's branding leave me alone

[duckapus]

AU where Meggy gets turned into a vampire and Mario gets turned into a werewolf

They were bit in completely separate incidents and are keeping it secret from everyone, including each other and the rest of the Crew.

Luigi's the only one who knows that Mario is a werewolf because he was there the night Mario got bit (well, nearly mauled to death is more accurate).

Meggy initially doesn't have anyone who knows about her being a vampire, at least until Whimpu happens to stumble across her while she's feeding.

Mario can shift voluntarily into either a very-big-but-seemingly-normal wolf form, himself with wolf features, or a big scary wolf-man form, but it takes him a while to properly figure out how both because he and Luigi have to figure it out with no help and because he's an idiot.

He's also got an uncontrollable fuckoff-Massive wolf form with a mind of its own that he turns into when there's a full moon.

He's got some wolf mannerisms now, obviously

While Meggy does have the classic vampire weaknesses, they're thankfully the manageable versions (so the sun does hurt her but sunscreen deals with it, mirrors and cameras only don't work if they have silver, needs to drink blood but can still eat normal food no problem (unless it as garlic obviously), etc.) since for plot reasons I need her to actually be able to keep it a secret.

She can shapeshift into a variety of animals, not just bats, and one form in particular makes all the shit she has to deal with now almost worth it: Vampire Squids are a thing that exists, which wouldn't matter for most vampires with how situational it would be (due to vampire squids specifically being deep sea squids) but in her case it means she gets to have her Swim Form again (though modified a bit since vampire squids have webbed tentacles with tooth-like spikes on the underside)

Also I know that vampire squids are actually octopi but let me have this

The vampire and werewolf that turned them are still at-large and causing trouble in the Mushroom Kingdom (including making more vampires and werewolves, many of which are less inclined than Meggy and Mario to not follow their new darker impulses), bringing all manner of monster hunters out of the woodwork to deal with the problem (some, like the Belmont Clan, are more competent and altruistic than others, like the Guards (because of course those two would want to get involved in the latest violent trend)), which is a large part of why the two of them are keeping themselves a secret

Another big part is of course the fact that Anti-Shroomy Exists

It also turns out that Bob was a big-name monster hunter a few hundred years ago, and shockingly he's easily the most competent of all the hunters in town, so the Bros, Meggy and Whimpu are understandably extremely wary of him right now

and as if the situation wasn't bad enough, Demon Peach has somehow managed to crawl her way out of the Creep Pit and is prowling the Kingdom (surprisingly stealthily for something of her size and disposition, I might add)

more details and (hopefully) some pictures to come in later posts

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

I'm sorry but the irony of Nico calling Max unprofessional is sending me so bad like sir there's an entire garage full of people, who were literally in the trenches trying to survive the Brocedes fallout while just doing their jobs, who might have a few things to say about your (& Lewis') level of professionalism at that time 😭✋️

[wiisagi-maiingan]

I've talked about this before but drink whatever you want to hydrate yourself. Water, juice, milk, hot tea, bottled tea, flavored water, Gatorade, lemonade, homemade electrolyte drinks, sparkling water, etc. Buy cirkul catridges or electrolyte packets, infuse your water with fruits or herbs or whatever, make seven smoothies a day, as long as it gets liquid in your body. ALL of that provides hydration because it's all made from water and despite some very persistent myths, it takes A LOT of sugar to cancel out water.

If you don't like plain water, and a lot of people don't and that is FINE, then it is a million times better to find beverages that you will actually drink than to be dehydrated because you keep trying to force yourself to drink something you don't like.

Obligatory disclaimer that this does NOT apply to alcohol. Another less serious disclaimer that caffeine is more complicated; coffee and energy drinks and the like will still hydrate you to a degree but less than non-caffeinated beverage and you should also be drinking other things too. Only getting your water alongside caffeine, especially if you don't eat a whole lot, can seriously fuck you up both mentally and physically. No, I'm definitely not speaking from years of experience, why do you ask?

[mens-rights-activia]

Bro I just want to create works of art and entertain people, I don’t want to be a vehicle of selling products, is that too much to ask???

[voltstone]

clementine.

what the fuck.

doNT MAKE THAT FACE AFTER YOU SAY THAT. GIRL.

[irrevocably-delicious]

I HATE when a brand I genuinely like and want to keep in the loop with chases me away with how frequent their emails are. Like I enjoy your brand! I didn’t unsubscribe immediately because I really DO want to know about new releases.

But tell me ONCE and then fuck off. You could have sent me one email a fortnight or even a week, and I would’ve tolerated it. But you got greedy and so now I will receive NO emails.

If this is how something who genuinely WANTED the emails feels, I can only imagine what the vast majority of people who get them from just one purchase feel. Who told brands this was a good idea? You are actively pushing consumers away with 2+ emails a week. I work for a company now that I’ve been a member of for YEARS. And they heavily rely on direct email marketing. We put SO MUCH time and effort into all the email designs.

I’ve been unsubscribed from them for 9 years. You’ve been in my spam folder for centuries it feels like. … do you collect any data to prove that this ACTUALLY works?

[wawamouse]

isn't it funny that we have no ship names in the Oz fandom... we have no portmanteaus, only character x character.... bc they are fighting, that's why.... they might be kissing but they're also fighting for their lives 🙂‍↕️

[hazard-and-friends]

Hazard got his first NW3 leg today (two for the NW3 title; three NW3 titles for the NW3-ELITE title & moving onto Elite trials) which is great, and also I have been reminded again just how far we've come

[cryptidwrestling]

Can some people not be creeps for five fucking minutes???

[aboyisagunasterisk]

wasnt gonna drink again tonight but lowk missing septum hayley like a mf 🕊️🕊️

[icannotgetoverbirds]

i just did so many dishes and it was so fun peace and love on planet earth YIPPEE!!!!!!

[mooshys]

the diva in question is oikawa

[pemberlaey]

i bring a sort of “mr rochester should have died in the fire” energy to any critical discussion of jane eyre

[lesbianworlock]

I don’t know a lot of you irl so I know you don’t know this, but I am an occasional cane user. I have hypermobile eds, and one of my knees is significantly weaker than the other, and so I often use my cane when having bad pain flare ups. I also work at a hospital in a non-clinical capacity.

Ive seen a few posts about how younger people are the worst offenders of ableism recently, and while that probably is true elsewhere, it’s not been my experience with it simply because I am more often around old people than I am young people at work. The first time I brought my cane in to my new job, my only male coworker, who is at least 65, went “wassup cripple?” to me the SECOND I walked in the door. This week I’ve been using my cane as we’ve had record low pressure and all my joints feel horrible. On two separate occasions I have had a maga hat boomer directly approach me and tell me my cane is 1.) not a fashion statement or 2.) not just for show.

I use a fritz grip cane, it’s folding and has a flashlight in the head, and the bottom is a rubber quad. If I was doing it for fashion or for show would I not idk??? Pick a more fashionable cane????

But anyway I’m really pissed off about this lately because I work AT A HOSPITAL. The first time this happened my badge was clearly visible and I was leaving work at around 10:30pm, so it was not likely I was a patient. But the second time I was running to the bathroom before my shift and all of our out patient offices were open still. I was not wearing my badge so people didn’t bother me. Again, I was in a hospital. I VERY easily could’ve been a patient stopping by the restroom. I was on the side of the hospital with the physical therapy and orthopedic medicine offices. Why would you assume a young person with a cane in a hospital was doing it “for show”?????? Also don’t fucking corner a disabled person at 10:30 pm, alone in a hospital lobby, to tell them their disability aid isn’t a fashion statement and they shouldn’t be using it.

What is it that has made people think they are SO horribly entitled to the medical history of other people???? Like yes I’ve had my fair share of bad interactions with snooty people my age, but overwhelmingly my negative interactions with people regarding my cane have been from old maga supporters. And anyway. I think we should make it legal to cane people.

[bulbabutt]

no offence (full offence) but if you genuinely rank tmnt 2014 above the next mutation you have bad taste and hate women and have no joy in your heart

[immobiliter]

it's a vibing kinda night tonight, but now that i've got lingsha up and running properly as a muse i feel less bad about a certain witchy genius and her ego potentially forcing her way onto my muse roster next week lmao