#it's been like over a week lmao but here you go~
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Oh 100 % I agree that they had a talk afterwards. Both of them have emphasized communication throughout the 6 years they have been “together 😭💀,” so no way they didn’t have a heart to heart they never get like that with each other
they couldn't have not have the talk lbr like that fight was kind of crazy had people talking about bengals downfall burrow-chase connection fallout etc they got to have a heart-to-heart 😭 though i guess it wasn't really actually a fight?? ja'marr just got so fucking angry and joe had to cool him down and the way to cool him down quick was to yk shove at him and yell at him right back ig though 100% nobody else but joe would've away with it on that field lol
i've talked about it a bit here in the end!!
also after that infamous kc game shove, i definitely think they had a very tough heart to heart where ja'marr maybe spills his full feelings over the contract and how he hasn’t been getting the ball to actually make big plays and how his worth as a wr1 is being brought to question and joe probably spills on his own feelings on how ja'marr held out so long and had last minute (?) changes of playing that week one ramps up joe's own anxiety and hang ups like i definitely feel like he had some unchecked anxiety over playing with his wrist that first game that ja'marr probably said something incredibly insane yet uplifting about in response. the next game its like they mended some unseen frayed stitch of their connection! first drive banger of a 41 yarder td for jamarr, two tuddys for the game in fact lol!! joe gets him his deep ball, then the insane way joe rushed at him after his 63 yarder in the next game, its like that first touchdown against minnesota again. i just wish the very best for them, to keep making these insane passes and insane runs they’ve been making since lsu.
that's pretty much it lmao but there's some more word vomit below that might a bit much tbh:
okay like i was new at this during the first few weeks okay I've not been here for their lsu to bengals run and my understanding of their burrow-chase throw-catch connection by which i mean like actual football playing qb-wr gameplay was still being learned!! i absolute did not know any rules of the game that first week i watched 😭 didn't even know how you got 7pts out a touchdown etc etc sorry i really was just there for the pretty men who had their faces covered by helmets 90% of the time lmao and from what i saw it was kind of meh you know???
like I've watched their highlights before don't get me wrong i know they got it. the touchdowns??? the way joe throws and ja'marr runs??? crazyyyyyy how the fuck does joe know exactly where ja'marr was going to run, how the fuck did ja'marr know exactly how far joe was going to throw, and like this could absolutely be attributed to the way they plan things with coaches and play calling etc but!! doesn't change the fact that in the end it just takes two people to do that shit and they've understood each other so well to have done it near perfectly!! like it made me understand why there's so much poetry and romance in sports!!! the trust the connection the whatever i can't find words the point is i didn't really like......see that in the first two games??? like there was some kind of disconnect yk and like idk they played like shit 😭 but keep in mind i was completely unknowledgeable of football like at all and i refuse to rewatch those games so maybe i was just stupid and didn't see it lmao
BUT THEN???? the week 3 game?????? ja'marr's first touchdown of the season???????? THAT was the shit i was waiting for like iirc ja'marr and tee were running their way down by the sidelines getting double teamed (?) each idk ja'marr was definitely double teamed had me doubting they'd make it but joe threw an absolutely beautiful ball at him and ja'marr caught that shit over his shoulder!?!?!?!??! brought it right home too!!!!!!! i was so gassedddddd i was exhilarated like completely 100% fell in love with the sport that was amazing that was literally my first live burrow-chase touchdown!!!!!!
(another fucking list sorry) me being the Master Speculator of Shit that i am made my own stupid ass narratives about how:
they were unsure of their game and each other's lmao hear me out. joe's first game back after the devastating wrist injury that was hell to get back into form to, had to deal with all the noise about him never going to be able to throw the way he used to again and knew just how many fucking eyes would be on him that first game back watching his wrist like bloodthirsty hawks. even if i believe that he's the type of person who can completely block out that noise without flinching, some subconscious and fearful part of him had to have been holding him back. the numerous, numerous, painful clips of him twisting his wrists repeatedly, fidgeting harder than he's ever fidgeted before, the water bottle stupidity that he actually got asked about, etc (god i can't imagine being a celebrity having your anxious shit caught on camera and analyzed so loudly over the internet). and then you add in how ja'marr's been in a contract holdout and clearly bothered as all hell about it because it's just not getting done at all even d-1 of their opening week!! insane. there were questions of ja'marr even playing game 1 and joe of course said unflinchingly that ja'marr would be ready week 1 regardless but completely understandable if he's rattled okay!! if ja'marr wasn't really planning on playing (wasn't he listed as questionable due to illness idk i forgot) suddenly switching up however many hours before to actually playing that's gotta fuck up joe's steady structure that he already prepared beforehand of not playing with ja'marr you know??? like basically a) anxiety over his wrist, b) ja'marr's sudden status as active messing up his pregame, and c) everybody and their grandmothers all up in his business for his first game back.
ja'marr's contract situation. people absolutely saying the foulest shit about his decision to hold out, the amount of money he asked, saying to boot him out, calling him a diva /derogatory, comparing him to justin, tee's contract situation, etc. the fo being the one to open convo about his extension only to not be open to his numbers??? sensible numbers if you think abt it btw and now well lmao good luck fo his agent must be smug as all hell. it maybe planted seeds of doubt and insecurity in him on his worth as WR1 you know?? like why are they acting like he isn't worth all that fucking money. incredibly emotional highly intelligent sensitive pisces that he is gets understandably more and more pissed off and defensive about literally everything but he fucking loves this sport and he loves his guys so he decides to play the game 1 anyway and. well. just. sigh.
the game went to shit and ja'marr played idk better than the rest of the receivers but in all honesty everyone was kind of shit?? and like. they lost to the patriots. who literally got beaten belt to ass by the dolphins last week. but anyways game 2 against ja'marr's most Hated capital h and everything fucking chiefs 😭 yeah with the whole contract situation still up in the air there was no way he wasn't going to have some sort of meltdown tbh. hence the fight....where joe got physical with him.....where his actions definitely contributed heavily to their loss which should have been a win.
and so: the talk. like i said they both talked about their anxieties no holds barred literally all the shit i wrote above and apologized to each other the way men usually do idk bro hugged it out maybe. i genuinely think ja'marr went off on joe on not getting the ball more like????? i can't explain it damn it he definitely chewed him out on it and joe was like 'fuck okay'. ja'marr says he never notices shit about how joe throws the ball so maybe he doesn't notice anything about joe's wrist acting up. but maybe he notices that joe's holding back or there's some sort of hang up over the way he plays and needles it out of him point-blank like the person that he is and joe finally talks about it and ja'marr responds by being 100% insane like he usually does and that sort of devotion and sheer stubbornness on one's belief in who you are has to have some kind of impact on joe damn. they probably got some professional therapy too btw at least i hope so :'). but basically ja'marr just wants the ball more and joe gets him the fucking ball.
ja'marr said something along the lines of him finding joy playing again 😔🤚 this was such a comment like god he hasn't been playing happy at all and when he put to rest the contract shit he finally gets to play a sport he loves with joy!!! him being happy is so fucking important to me wow 😭 i think I've said this before in some post idk but he knows he messed up, he knows the contract negotiation fucked up his emotions so bad he brings it on the field so he nips that shit quick and done. no more contract talks until the next offseason. probably made it clear to joe though that he will not leave but fuck if he's listening to any bullshit from the fo when he's got a game to win and a super bowl to get to and idk about you but that probably healed something in joe like there is the guy who gets him. who's as hungry as he is for a win, for a ring, for a championship. who's got his back, who he can trust to be there on the other end of the field to catch his throws.
the next game!!!!!!!!! god i really am not the person to talk about routes or strategy or whatever but i know for damn sure that that was a beautiful throw and that was a beautiful catch and that was a one-of-a-kind connection. like they fixed something that was unknowingly dented in their connection and like they're finally trusting themselves and each other again to make the big plays they've done before the injury and the contract drama you know????? aurrugrgrhrh i can't word anything out i feel like saying more about this but i cant please get me anyway 😭
this entire emotional roller coaster thing was also the main reason they had those kind of helmet bonks on the next 63 yard td and 70 yard td btw. been a long while since they've had those kind of plays, probably had some unnamed unknowing unacknowledged doubts that they would ever have it again, so it was like the first time all over again lol. (was one of the things joe said to him in that little bubble of their celly after the ravens 70 yarder something like 'see i knew we still got it. i knew you still got it.' god i feel insane)
ok bye......
#ask#ururgurhurhh man its good i wasnt really there for tees contract news and like the entire run of jamarrs contract hold out 😭#i would have been insufferable 😭#and like the day of the kc game shove too btw people would've had me blocked 😭😭#this got long....as per usual....i apologize........#joemarr#joemarr meta#joe burrow#ja'marr chase
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IMPORTANT ANNOUCEMENT
Hello little gay people in my computer (and all others <3), I'm going to be taking an extended break from the fandom. It is not applicable with any recent dramas, I'm terminally out of the loop and also in utter truth, can't be asked to care LMAO.
The reason is much simpler: I have gradually moved on. My brainrot is elsewhere and has been for some good time. Granted, Amara is always on my mind but she's always been devoid from HL canon, I've been more focused on her later arc and devoid from the canon cast entirely. So Amara (and Marie) likers don't worry, it's not as if I'm up and running away altogether.
Additionally, I've just been living on campus. Before, I was in community college and now that I live on suite, I've found myself ridiculously swamped. I have sorority obligations (yeah I'm in one now crazy right haha), academic obligations, and romantic obligations all of which take higher precedence and genuinely have negated a lot of my unhealthier escapist tendencies (BIG WIN).
OKAY boring stuff aside, this blog is not going to be gone for good. I have too many bangers to delete it, and besides HP was and still is a massive part of my life, even if Legacy isn't too much of an interest for me anymore. You'll still see art of Amara, other MC's and the like, but probably more Marauders and Golden Trio era content, as I vastly prefer it over the HL era surprise surprise. But that's whenever I come back.
WHICH I WILL BE, BY THE WAY. I'm not going to go dark and then unceremoniously pop back to life in one weeks time, I'm still here per se, but I'm just too burnt out and too busy even if I wasn't.
Anyways- I have my main multifandom blog (lanabenikosdoormat) which is also slowing down but I still will be active on. My instagram (sodapopsalesguy), and of course all the prexisting fandom discord servers I'm in, which I will not be leaving, this is how I stay up to date on affairs.
Anyways big hugs and kisses to you guys, thank you for everything (this sounds morbid I'm still alive and kicking teehee)
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Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
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Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
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me Omw to annoy you about more Francesca content 😼😼
you and my entire inbox my friend strap in everyone this is gonna be The Francesca Mega Collection. part one The Bed Collection ft You HAVE To Click/Tap To Read Anything ESPECIALLY The Asks
thank you for joining me for the Francesca Bed Collection im going to pass out
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#francesca the cat#snap sketches#OK HI HERE been tryin to posts this for ten asks now cause i severely underestimate the speed of my inbox once it picks up#ironically my sis dropped her cat off for the weekend so. i have much fran inspo LMAO she loves doing the bed thing i confess..#i will be candid and say right now that like. two(? maybe just one) of the asks in this post arent fran related#theyve been sitting in my inbox for weeks but they were used for inspo in this post SO IT COUNTS IM POSTING IT TO FEEL LESS GUILTY OK !!!!!#these arent meant to be a cohesive story or w/e but i mean if you try it can prob be. at least the last two#i was gonna try to knock out all my fran asks today actually but 1.) i underestimated how slow i draw#2.) i got to the thirdv (i made it first in this list but i mean he cutie in the third too..) comic and my brain decided i drew erik too ho#and ive decided to dedicate the rest of my night praying for forgiveness for my lascivious thinkings <- they will continue#but yeah like i said i have all the comics and the sort sketched out buuut i might redo one of them#its kinda nsft flavored (but still cute + sfw) and thats not usually a prob but the asks themselves are wholesome i felt awkward jerLJLK#maybe ill repurpose the beginning panels ... or hell maybe ill just finish them and post them as is#spoilers its more Superhero Roeplay bullshit so it can def be posted on its own without fran.. idk ...#we know how my brain goes Thats Why We're In This Sitch once im given an inch i run a marathon and i dont stop#i be having such intense visions im gonna throw up. anyway wtf was i saying i forget. oh well thaat means EnjoYWAIT I REMEMBER#im tempted to close my inbox for a bit just until i clear out all the asks i wanna draw and ik i dont HAVE to draw them#but as ive said i get visions so easily ...... and i must see them realized ... but then id miss talking to everyone :(#so we ball is simply the answer. ok fr enjoy now LMAO BYYYYEE im gonna go redraw some old stuff i think to wind down#maybe ill touch one more asks cause . cause like Many Of Them its got stuff ive been wantin to draw all week ... heh ...#ok bye we'll see what happens im not checking over these if theres a mistake then by god theres a mistake BYE
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I need to draw my rook bc I actually do have some ideas for them I just. Have NOT been in a creating mood idk I'm so tired... Aoughgggh
#crow rambles#i want to write and i want to draw and i want to do a million things and i am doing NONE of them...#insane... crazy even...#like. i have several fic ideas i wanna write (nothing new there) but i am not writing them#i. well i dont have any art ideas now but i WANNA draw but ohh. hard :(#i think i may be having a little creative burnout... give me like four days ill be back on my game#i can never stay away from art for too long. i get itchy if i dont draw for a few days#longest ive went without drawing in the past like. decade. has been a week and that was when i got covid#my ass can NOT put the pencil down#i do want to get some of my rook ideas into fic bc i think it may help me flesh them out a little bit#while i do have a lot of criticisms of dav i kinda wanna stop focusing on them so much#bc i KNOW ive been posting about them alot on here#and while i don't think the game SHOULDNT be criticized (it definitely should) i dont want to be solely negative on it#bc i actually did have fun playing it#and i want to reflect it in my posts lmao#however. i love bitching. i am so good at bitching#its a competitive sport and im winning. top tier bitcher thats me#idk i should probably replay the game bc its always easier to make a protagonist for a dragon age game once you know the plot#but also i want to finish my dao replay... and replay da2... and finish my dai replay i never finished lmao#im at the landsmeet in dao so it shouldnt be much longer. i plan on skipping the golems dlc this go round bc i dont really like it and it#doesnt add very much to the plot imo. everytime i play it i get pissy over the harvester. fucking AWFUL boss#tried killing it on hard mode. once. i am never doing that shit again i HATEEEE that stupid thing#<- by landsmeet i meant i am doing the denerim quests right before the landsmeet. im just before the whole 'anora got locked up' thing#am NOT looking forward to the alienage... idk i really want go get to witch hunt 😭😭
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i've been avoiding practicing driving because i've been preferring being in my own world lately and i HAVE to pay attention when driving so i just. don't. drive.
#😭😭😭 it's so bad right now it's so so so bad#like the serotonins are high but at the same time i have less than 2 months until my road test#i still have 2 lessons that i've paid for to book but when i tried my anxiety went 'uhm dont book those actually hahaha'#and now it's like THOSE COST $550 YOU BETTER FINISH THEM!!!!!!!!!#hoooly fuck. i cannot win.#i haven't been in the driver's seat in over 2 weeks#i drove successfully down one of the busiest corridors in the region and back and then never did it again akdjskdn#i feel like i really should start ADHD meds but i know there's some sort of restriction on it right now#and i don't think i could afford it#i've started drinking coffee again and i'm just. not doing great i think#video games are the only thing keeping me from falling apart and i'm letting my switch charge so i let my mind wander 🙃#kinda scared for next term since i've decided to keep going. applied for a new student loan and everything#and the one course i HAVE to take is supposedly really hard#(there's no lab at least which is good)#on tuesday i'll be normal again but right now i'm just. i want to play hades tbh#i hope there's enough battery in the switch and besides i think my laptop charger is down here#(it charges the switch fine despite being an apple charger lmao. i don't get it)#vent
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Actually obsessed with my new coworker at the farm ajdkalsl
#not snz#apparently he's some sort of cook for a living#idk what he does i just know he works in a kitchen#but this isn't like a career move or anything for him#he's super secretive about his job for some reason?? like damn how bad is it lmao#he didn’t even tell us what he does i just managed to clock him#he's been here for like a week now and I've been going in extra days bc my boss is on vacation and someone needs to train him#kinda quiet the first couple days and didn’t really talk until you said something to him first unless he had a question#and then i said fuck like five times in the same sentence and now he talks a lot lmao#swearing like a sailor gang unite i guess#anyway i tried to hand him off to another coworker so i could go play vet for a few of our animals#but he wanted to come and i was like 😬#bc one of the animals has a nasty infected wound that needs hella care#and I'm the one who does it bc it makes everyone else sick and/or faint#and i go 'oh no it's okay i can do it it's kinda gross' and I'm telling him Why and everything#dude looks me in the face he's like 'i work in a kitchen'#I'm like bro respectfully i think this is a bit different from raw meat#and he proceeds to tell me that he watched someone cut part of their finger off???????#like wtf is going on in restaurants#so i was too floored by that response to say shit so he came with me#and to his credit he was very good with all the medical stuff like I'll give him that#he's just so deadpan about everything and it's so funny to me#also he can do a handstand for over a minute#like a few of us were sitting in the office vibing and trying to bond and he just drops that then did it like??#i know so much about this man and yet i know nothing about him#so yeah workhas been fun lately lmao
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DARN, missed it again! 2nd anniversary of being a they/themer :D
#just me hi#i should cue a post for next year cuz i just Keep missing it hfhsv#cool though!! two years of queer yeah babyyy#i now have it/its but they/them was where i started hehe :>#i've considered neos but you know i think they'd be a bit much for me lol#character customization Truly#//i am NOT missing this blog's birthday. proooollyyyy hghfsh#these aren't such huge things but i like to know things have happened hfsh :3#these are two things i really only celebrate on here so i've just Gotta say it :33#//anyway i've been listening to the radio a lot (did i say that? i think i told you that some weeks ago lmao) and it's Funnn (mostlyyy) :D#yes they play the same 15 songs over and over and i'm starting to learn all the words to even the most unremarkable ones but that's part of#the Fun :DD#been listening to it because once in a while they play a song i already have in my playlist (yayy !!) or a song that i like (which then goe#in the Playlist (yayy !!)) that and it supplies a background track to whatever i'm talking about with my siblings which is funny at times#/imagine. you've slipped up. a secret of another's you were never supposed to know was mentioned by accident. so instead of#trying to excuse yourself from guilt you admit to knowing even More. the person you're speaking to is betrayed confused and overall upset.#and you're trying to get in contact with a ghost to give you pointers. it's not great. in the background Lovin On Me is playing#that's how our games have been going hfhsvhf#/i let them play in the plots of my stories sometimes and it's So Ridiculous Dude#i've had to ban specific organs from their characters because they were being wretched little beings. it Was funny though i'll not deny hfh#they've tormented shye + weirded out oath + killed and been killed many times#there were a couple times i saw genuine horror on their faces and i am living on that i'm ngl hfhsvbhs#like the horse thing! it would take a sec to explain so i won't go into it but oh i hurt myself laughing Lolll (it was dark but it was stil#funny hfbvs)#//OH i've gtg now lol --#ciao ciao see you somewhere later from now !! :D
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aaand that makes it okay... how?
#'we've been calling on civilians to evacuate for 2 weeks' where the fuck can they go? there's nothing behind his eyes.#this dude had the audacity to say like look this had to be done in iraq too b/c terrorists#my aunts (plural.) still jump at loud noises b/c of gunfire and bombs. and they arrived here as asylees from iraq over a decade ago#'[we need to see what is the] price to be paid by non-combatants' shut up lmao.#the interviewers like: [ok but the civilian casualties--] this piece of work: we're not fighting against the civilians#acting like you havent been looking for an excuse to bomb tf out of these people.#the comments section predictably made me mad lmao#genocide
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#my wife just left on a work trip#she'll be gone for two nights. so that's two nights and two mornings with the kids 🤪#the baby still wakes up for her multiple times a night. he's NOT going to like this lmaooooo#that's the part that I'm most worried about#i already do most of the getting them ready in the morning so it's just adding bringing the 5yr old to school down the road#and the evenings will just be whatever... surviving lol. I'll clean during the day when i should be working#i can do this. i can do anything for just a couple days!#...and then next week my wife goes on ANOTHER work trip!! hagagaghahaahhahah 🫠#only one night though#to be clear. when she agreed to this first trip she had no idea that they would both be back to back like this#and travel isn't going to be a THING for her really. just one offs once in a while like this.#this is her first one and she's already been a consultant for like two years#one good thing about the pandemic. as much as the business newspaper articles want to convince you.....#remote work is here to stay. for people in specialized careers anyway. they will NEVER get us back into offices lmao#my wife never wanted to become a consultant because of the travel#if it weren't for covid she would still be doing emergency management and business continuity in-house#(and i would still be driving across LA county 50+ minutes each way lmao)#anyway. traveling to work for clients in person on a regular basis is pretty much over in her industry#thank god#I CAN DO THIS
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crying again lol ok
#purrs#and posting online abt it so i get immediate validation / support instead of asking for help from anyone im close to i know. but god fucking#damn it to hell. ok im going to be candid about this because it hurts so fucking bad. five years ago i met someone so important to me. and I#miss her so so so so much. and every space here i have a memory with her in. and she left in July and she’s gone. and im sobbing my eyes out#FOR WHY because it was over 6 months ago and im happier and she’s happier and we’re all happier. but i think im getting some aftershocks#being here for the first time without her exactly 5 years to the week we met: when she was so important to me. she was the whole reason i#even saw myself as something. and she’s fucking gone. she left. but she’s not dead like LMAO idk why im crying so hard when i could just#text her any time and tell her that i miss her. but idk. it’s just everything is stirring memories and they’re painful to think about now or#at least today because she’s gone and it all changed. i was just saying that i feel like im not having any emotions and tonight the grief ju#just rammed into me like a train and my fucking counselor sucks ass and won’t even help me work through it and everyone is busy and tired an#and im a staff coach so im not supposed to be having a fuckjng mental breakdown over **** pacing around in my bathroom at 1:23am but ive be#been thinking about her so much and remembering all the formative interactions i had with her here and missing her so much i want to explode#and die and p*ke and whatever. so stupid to cry about it but i fucking miss her. and i hate that she’s not here. and i’m trying so hard to b#be her but i have to be me but i can’t not have what she brought here and im just crashi ng and burning and can’t be honest and im having a#breakdown and crying so hard and i don’t know what to do. i ithink i’ll be fine after some sleep and reflection but my heart is like seizing#on itself right now and nothing takes my mind off it and i just keep crying LMFAOOOOOO. i hate it here#delete later#like how can you look at me like that and then fuck off to ****** 4.5 years later. you know? im about to punch a hole into the hallway#and i have to be quiet bc ppl are trying to sleep but it’s making me fucking crazy.#retreat tag
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Just saw something that made me so mad (not even half finished bottle of cherry coke in the fridge) (it isn't mine) (I'm full of rage)
#shortext#like my dad has to go to the fucking usa to get these or when he finds a few in a random store by some miracle of god#and my grandma is just drinking these like theyre water. she's been here for a week and she drank FOUR#while me and my mom have to share one bottle#idgaf if im selfish!!!! those aren't for you to finish!!!!#like its gotten to the point where even my PATENTS tomd me to hide the remaining ones LMAO#like oh my goddddddd finish it already fucks sake#and theres other stuff adding up thats pissing me off abt this whole situation but i aint getting into that#maybe thats why im getting so irrationally mad but ppl coming over just stresses me out a lot in general#old people 🤬🤬🤬🤬
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#why did i Do That why whywhywhy#i think im actually going to throw up#I JUST WANTNRD TO SAY HI YP MY FROEND BUT NOOO OFC ITS NOT ACTIALLY HER ON WHATS SUPPOSED TO BE H E R FUCKING PAGE#“since you eont syop messaging ny sister” BRO THAT EAS LITERALLY OVER A WEEK AGO WHAT??#and when something happend between her mom and i thats been iver a year oh my god.#i shoulfve fucking known it wasnt her why did it fucking do it#UGDHDHDHSHS#i fucking hate it here#i sent maybe like 5 total meaages but thats bc i had things to say dickhead AMD ALOT OF IT WASNT EVEN ABOUT SPECIFICALLY WJAT HAPPEND WOTH#HER FUCKING MOM AND I LIKE?? IM BEINH CALLED THE FUCKING INSANE ONE WHAT#Thats not continually messaging your sister thats beukg concerned for her asshole and again! LITERALLY. OVER A WEEK AGO.#its not like i messaged anyone else either like. i did last year WHICH STILL WASNT ABOUT THE THING I (ADMITTEDLY STUPIDLY#bc iy was smth else i was mad ad-) GOT MAD AT HER MOM ABOUT LIKE.#im just really concerned for my friend and im supposed to stop caring like that?#idk ehy i did that. ofc it was her mom on her fucking page.#I EVEN GOT TOLD TO LEAVE HER ALONE?? AS IF IVE BEEN MESSAGING CONSTANTLY OH MY GODDD#“drama stirrer” my fucking ass i was just hoping one of you was actually a fucking decent person so my friend can get the proper help she#should have#i did have a inking that ofc it wasnt myfriend on there so i did send a message saying how sad it was for other people to be on someones pag#page acting as them i didnt say anything hateful or anything either and yet i get told “friend showed me this and basically you can fuck of”#and a whole rant from her sibling. acting as if i messaged them specifically again. lmao okay then#IF THRY DONT WANT HER BEING FRIENDS WITH ME SO BAD WHEN ITS BAD ENOYGH IM LITERALLY IN THE SAME FUCKING AREA AS HER#THEN JUST FUCKING BLOCK ME?? ATLEAST I WOULFNT BE GOING IN HOPIMG IT WAS ACTUALLY MY FRIEND THIS TIME.
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the desire to write glee s6 au fic
vs
the desire to not watch glee s6 which would be an implicit requirement to properly writing s6 au fic
#gonna be real with u im livin there but i have no desire for the back half of glee#i barely have any desire for s3#but hey maybe a terrible idea like rewatching glee would actually uh give me a fresher perspective on the story as a whole#i've been rewatching some of it but uh yeah not. not anywhere close to all of it#...also if i rewatch glee ill start talking about glee more and like... themes and storycraft and shit... in fuckin glee...#spoiler alert i think its bad#and not because of the deliberate absurdism or anything#that's good i actually remember enjoying the glee aesthetic and exaggerated everythings#but it might be interesting to watch it when i'm not actually a teenager anymore#and maybe wonder if glee actually got worse or if i was just younger when the first seasons aired lmao#but between watching 2x06 and 3x13 and none of the other episodes... the contrast is stark af and that's only s3#NBK is so so so good even the other stuff going on is interesting (and kinda fucked up but that's the glee vibes yknow?)#and it sets up kurt's storyline so so well - thematically with the song choices and the acting is superb and the chemistry omg#it almost makes you believe they aren't going to fumble it 20 times at least over the next two seasons#Heart is like... Worth it I guess but it's like all the other promised Karofsky storylines#hyped up in leaks and previews and then fumbled and dropped unceremoniously#...only Heart was out here gaslighting the audience with some revisionism that makes u go 'hmm' esp after just watching NBK#i mean bold words to say about the guy who has been doing that all episode like k but that aside#dave karofsky did not cup kurt's face and go in for a second kiss only for them to call it “hate kissing”#dont worry mr karofsky i heard ur little whimper 😔#...fuck im gonna need a glee tag yall can mute aren't i?#...................2 to 6 business weeks......................
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Fr I’m convinced ‘anxiety’ is the new hysteria. I’m a trans guy (pre-transition) and these are all things that I was told were ‘just anxiety’:
-legs suddenly becoming extremely weak to the point I couldn’t walk, let alone stand
-horrible chest pain
-extreme dizzy spells/constant vertigo
-new and profound memory issues/disorientation
-uncontrollable tremors
-additional chronic pain
-uncontrollable weight loss
-etc
It took nearly two years for them to start taking me seriously. In that time, I ended up needing a cane to walk and I can still only be on my feet for 20 min at the max on a *good day* (with my cane). I lost so much weight that I became too light to trigger the sensors on the scooters at Target and Walmart. My symptoms got exponentially worse in every way. It took all of that for my last pcp to take me seriously. I was sent for an MRI and it turns out I have lesions in my brain and a birth defect where my skull meets my spine, amongst other findings!
Trust what your body tells you and advocate for yourself. Check the after visit summaries. Don’t give up until you get the care you need. Find at least one person who believes you and can offer emotional support. Don’t let people tell you that you’re going crazy or being dramatic or being lazy or that it’s ’just anxiety’ when you *know* it isn’t. You will find the help you need eventually. It shouldn’t take this much work and it’s absolute bullshit that it does, but your health is worth the effort.
I love the American healthcare system. I got to urgent care barely able to think and walk just for them to tell me “oh yeah sometimes people can’t walk and think, you crazy women.” and then I’m charged $255 for a 5min visit
#I also ended up hospitalized at one point due to extreme blood loss on my period#I started getting my period nearly 18 years ago and it’s always been like that#I finally got diagnosed with PCOS over the summer and I see an endo in a week and a half#my new (absolutely amazing) pcp is still helping me through a bunch more testing to get the Big Diagnosis#I started having chronic pain and vision issues when I was 15 btw#my vision would go completely white and my eye doctor just… didn’t believe me lol#and my chronic pain was dismissed as a muscle strain#later on a clinician I visited to get tested for RA just told me to take four ibuprofen every four hours#oh btw that specialist that refused to schedule me for that test ending up suing me for failure to pay#I ended up getting the test done with a different doctor and they found significant results from it#us healthcare is such absolute bullshit I swear#I’ve spent the last several years just being stuck sitting on my ass trapped at home just *waiting*#I’ve gone through so much fucking emotional turmoil all while dealing with a body that just kept getting more dysfunctional#like I have a total list of all my symptoms to help me track them and that list is 5 pages long#and doesn’t include the two new symptoms I had start up in the past month#tbh if I didn’t have my disabled friend to help me thru all this I probably wouldn’t be here anymore#you know who you are lol#I love you fam!!!!#I also love all of y’all#take care of yourselves ❤️#sorry I ramble in the tags it’s the Brain Damage™️ lmao
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I would like to make an addendum to this piece with the new chapter out and say that I was wrong about Phillip, he's great, 10/10 he went from being a giant red flag of a character to being genuinely relatable and man do i feel bad about side-eyeing him for that line he said last chapter
Also this chapter finally wrapped up another plot thread I was waiting for it to return to and waaaaaah seeing someone else's POV on Helene is so nice (and we finally got another flashback of OG Helene for like,, the first time in literally forever). Helene being called out as a lonely person who hides her kind feelings behind a cold expression...man suddenly my fondness for Helene is increasing thousandfold
Like literally how the fuck does this manga keep making Helene better and better there's literally nothing disappointing about her character and im STILL shook about it
#The Mighty Extra#no fully colored art today gotta process my feelings over the Helene bits in today's chapter LMAO#Helene continuously getting the best treatment in this story utterly shocks me as someone who is too used to seeing female characters in-#shounen-esque ending up as wasted potential fgkjggfkj#Helene is literally so perfect as a character i love her i love her i love her I LOVE HER I LOVE-#i don't draw Helene enough to show it outwardly but rest assured she occupies 99% of my current brain capacity 24/7#also the way I went from going “oh god why are you like this” to Phillip to “ohhh OHHHH okay no i get it you're very baby” is very funny#that last line makes complete sense for Phillip and it's so cool to see him show off a lot of character development in one go#for a character who is relatively minor i love how the creator made him really understandable and sympathetic like damn#i don't usually care for second lead male LIs but Phillip is surprisingly a strong and endearing character#so much so i think he's now going to forever be embedded in my mind as what a well written character looks like#me before 77: ehhh im not sure if im as excited for this chapter as the next few bc it's probs just gonna end up as#Phillip just being an ass and Fian being jealous about him#this fucking manga every goddamn time i doubt it: hey so want to learn more about Helene and see Phillip get massive character development-#that shows how mature he's gotten but also go back to several plot threads and mysteries and showcase how Lyla is severely in danger and th#war that Fian is starting is something that legitimately needs to happen to keep her safe and also here's a OG Helene flashback that-#you totally haven't been craving for promising to return to why Lyla shipped Helene/Fian in the first place and why she feels guilty about-#taking Fian from Helene (and also suggests Helene deeply loved Fian in the OG timeline which is one big awwwwWWWW and now it kind of-#sucks that Lyla DID rip Fian away from Helene but hey at least Helene has Paris now instead (oh the irony))#fun fact i actually kind of do ship Fian/Helene#at least the OG versions of them#idk seeing how attached Fian is to Lyla and imagining him doing the same to OG Helene is really fucking cute#i am SO FUCKING DESPERATE for the original story behind TME's plot to exist you have no fucking idea#and 78 looks promising as to revealing how OG Helene (/Lyla) reacted to OG Fian's death so like#im begging for next week's chapter already i NEED to get a continuation to that death scene#(also calling it now but if Lyla's real name is actually Helene im going to fucking scream)#(for more reasons than one oh my god)
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