kgemini20

[kgemini20]

Haha back again on a rant I guess this is just me venting my feelings about stuff this time because I can’t do it to the friends I have because one way or another someone or everyone will get mad at me no matter what I do or say .... here I go

I have multiple friend groups and 2 of them I have the same friends in but friend group A has a problem with someone in friend group B which puts me in a bind because I’m friends with the person that group A has a problem with.... the friend in group B honestly isn’t my friend anymore tho because she has done something I could never forgive her for but considering in friend group B my cousin is in it to I kinda have to see her and associate myself with her for my cousin sake (they have been friends for a very long time so I can’t really tell my cousin to stop being her friend because of me and some others )

So the girl in friend group B... let’s name her pip has actually slept with 2 guys from friend group B and the problem with that is that it was rape as both guys do not recall ever being with her or even that night and the first guy distance himself from the friend group to make everyone in it happy because he knew my cousin would be hurt if he started saying stuff about pip and at first I was not sure what had happen till a couple months after it happen he told me and I was so mad when I find out but I had to let it slide because I couldn’t and still can’t go against my cousin

Now the second guy she did it to was for me really mad at her because I was there when it happen ...

Back at the beginning of the year pip and I where at a house party which my claim thrown and I had to pick I’m my guy friend and bring him over ... imma call him jay. So jay had been drinking since that morning so he was really out of it to the the point when he woke up the next day he had to ask me how he ended up there and why he was there, u can probably see where this is going...

So when me and jay rocked up everyone was pretty smashed and ok that’s fun but pip was acting weird and we all let it sslife because she was always weird. We all got pretty drunk and by the end of the night I had past out on the couch with pip sleeping next to me and jay was sleeping on the floor and I was asleep until I woke up and rolled over to notice pip not next to me anymore and I didn’t think anything about it at the time till I heard her moaning... I stayed quiet not knowing what to do and just tried to block it out, when they where done jay ended up getting up then went to the bathroom only to pass out in the doorway of the bathroom .... I confronted pip about it straight away and we talk about it and again I was still drunk so I didn’t think much about it so when we went to to bed again and got up in the morning I thought it over “wait why did they do, I know for a fact jay didn’t trust pip around him enough to let her do that “ but I let it slide because at the same time I had a few things happening in my life that I was not taking well

About a month I actually ask jay if remember anything from that night and he said he only remembers drinking at home and that’s it so that’s when I knew pip had done it again . After I found at jay didn’t know I was mad and disgusted with myself for keeping it a secret for so long and the fact he didn’t know or remember brought up some horrible memories for me and so the weekend after I found out he didn’t know was my Littlw coquina birthday and pip and jay where there . I hadn’t told anyone what happen at the time just because I didn’t know if I should but the other guy pip and did this to was at the party so I ask if he could keep a eye on jay while I watch pip and he ask why so I told him what I remembered and then he sat down and just said “I can’t believe she didn’t to him” so this also confirm my case about jay not knowing. I told the guy not to say anything about it but he told another friend in my group what happen and she took me away front the Party to talk and I explain everything to her and also why it rouble me so much . I spent the whole time telling her while I was baking my eyes out because I just so mad and sad and everything just got to me ... she convinced me to tell jay what happen and I did... not once in the 3 years have a seen such a horrifiedface on jay he ended up crying too and I was couldn’t stop either .... after jay found out my cousin who was dear friends with pip and the friend who convinced me to tell jay had a talk with pip and she ended up yelling at me for telling them and him which resulted in me crying and yelling at her because she had done so many things against me that I can’t get into now ... pip and up leaving the party and jay was left crying that night ...

So my cousin my fiend who convinced me and myself hadn’t talk to pip in months and I never wanted to do anything with her again but my cousin did and got back into pip life which left myself and the friend following her lead I guess. My cousin and friend have been hanging out with pip after they talk stuff out but I hadn’t tbh pip didn’t want to talk to me like I didn’t with her but I couldn’t take it and I talk to her about it.

I still don’t forgive her and never see her by myself as she doesn’t respect my personal space and I’ve only really seen her four times since we talked all times I’ve been with my cousin or maybe not for one but it was beyond needed a lift somewhere and I didn’t I’ve my car and everyone else was busy

Now friend groupA has a problem with pip because pip has also assaulted one of them ... let’s name her ree and pip had also never respected ree enough o care about how she felt or know about giving herpersonal space even after ree told pip multiple times to stop which pip never did ... ree couldn’t handled pip being touchy and I could understand but I had also know pop for longer and pip knows I can’t do physical touch, but the reasons why just that I can’t deal with it. So ree ended up blocking pip and telling her she can’t be friends with someone who won’t respect their wishes about being left alone and not touch ... pip took great offence to this and started saying all these things about reee and saying how ree never told her to stop when multiple people in group A have heard and seen ree say it to pip

Now at this point pip and ree never talk to each other and I was seeing ree all the time and I trust ree to keep so much secrets for me because I trust her and respect her so much that this hurts me so much like as I write this part I’m crying

The day I had to get pip to drive me around I took a photo and put it on Snapchat stating I had a personal taxi now where ree saw it and ask me why. I couldn’t fully explain at the time because I was in the car with pip and pip kept looking at me about it that was over 3 months ago and reee hadn’t talk to me since and I didn’t know what I did wrong and why and our other friend in group A stop talking to me aswell. This is the part that hurt me the most only because I generally didn’t know why they weren’t talking to me.then last night I ask and ree went off about it and technically explain that she didn’t talk to me because I was seeing pip and ree doesn’t know why I have been seeing pip at all and I just need to explain that ree that I only see pip when she is with my cousin ... I still don’t trust pip and I never will again but ree doesn’t know that half the time that I’m with pip is because of my cousin and o love her so much, my cousin I mean . And yeah ree never ask about it but she never really let me explain the whole situation ....

Ree is one of my best friends or at least I hope so we plan on talking in person soon so I can explain why but in the end ree mad and upset with me because by the looks of it I made up with pip when really I can’t stand her at all and after what pip pulled twice I can’t trust her around myself or anyone else

Soory if this makes no sense to anyone I just really needed to vent and I can’t do that with the people I know or in bed and I also just want this off my chest so thanks for ready and sorry if it has mistakes again it’s just me ranting so yeah



[kgemini20]

Very werid thing but has anyone notice how they can feel their skin but we can’t feel anything under their skin? And when they do it’s because of a cramp/pulled muscle/headache/ a dull ache or broken bones ... but you can’t feel that with your fingers or your feet so not really touching feeling it’s ...... I don’t know what to call it 😂😅 this has been messing with my head I swear

[kgemini20]

Probs makes no sense but I wanted this off my chest

so I’ve been seeing a lot of unsympathetic Patton and Virgil post which honestly no judgement because I do understand it butI’ve kinda been thinking about it a little for Virgil.

Like Going back to moving on part 1 you can see how unsettle Virgil is by Patton room and being anxiety it can go two different ways when looking at past memories.

I know this as I look threw all my old memories most of the time and I’ve had been put in situations that yeah they make me happy but over all I’m anxious and scared when look at it all.

So Virgil being unsympathetic to me just feels weird because yeah he can be but now I think about in the first videos he was mean but that what anxiety can be for some people, just a mean little voice in your head that makes you question everything that could be good for you or bad.

Another fact is yeah he can be mean to Roman and Logan at times but past treatments in the earlier videos can really strain your trust in some people... ever had a friend who you thought was your best friend till they lie to about something then when their caught out on they start saying sorry about it ? Have you ever felt like your trust in them just slowly dies?

That could be how Virgil feels and might have been another reason why he duck out and why he puts so much trust in Patton.

Sorry if not making sense but I’ve also notice when Deceit shows up he could be Patton’s fault on why he doesn’t like him so much or it could be his own judgement on him, we don’t know.

But think Virgil does know him and deciet could have said to Virgil something idk maybe how the light sides are the true dark sides and Virgil doesn’t believe him because of how often he lies and could have started showing up in the videos to prove him wrong and that could be why he doesn’t like him because he doesn’t believe him and it why they know him as deciet.

No one believes a lier after all but then again who is the true lier in this ? Logan showed how often he is logic and Roman with creative and Remus as well.

Speaking of Remus. Virgil cares about Thomas friends as they calm him down so that might be a reason why he doesn’t like Remus because he was scared that Thomas could hurt his friends and that Remus can put those thoughts in his head but then can they all put thoughts in Thomas head?

Virgil has the good intensions on keeping Thomas safe and so does deciet because even if you lie it doesn’t necessarily mean your a bad person but not admitting to yourself you could be a bad person kinda effect your moral compass because you’ll start confusing yourself about what is wrong and right..

All in all I know this makes no sense as it is all over the place but I feel like I needed to get this out of my system and it kinda just makes me question this even more but hey guess will just have to wait and see..