#it's always nice to be invalidated by your own family

[kat-thelorekid]

I think I can make a chain out of this >:]

What do you think of fan works? (Such as fanfiction, fanart, etc.)

Haven’t read any murder drones fanfiction (yet) but the Cyn fanart Pinterest recommends to me is always so pretty!!!!

What do you think of your in-source family/friends? (A brother, a best friend, etc. that is close to who you were/are!)

I think N is a nice person and I’d like to say sorry to Tessa :(

What does fandom get right and/or wrong? (Such as gender or pronoun headcanons, or portrayals in fanfiction and fanart!)

About to try a Mango in a few days (time of writing this: 19th January 2025, 11:19 AM) and then I can comment on the “Cyn likes Mangoes” headcanon

Do you like the name you got in source, or do you go by a different one?

I go by Kat irl and online but my friends use Kat and Cyn interchangeably and it makes me happy

Do you own any merch from your source? If not, would you like to?

I saw someone make Solver figdet spinners on youtube, don’t think they’re purchaseable though :(

But if I acquire black beads then I could make a Kandi bracelet!! I’d love to have merch of myself :]

What do you remember from your past in-source, and does it align with canon media?

I don’t have any memories (besides those seem to be more common for fictionkins in systems which I’m not so I’m not counting on gaining any)

Do you dislike your source? Does anything in it bother you? (Such as the portrayal of a friend!)

Nope, nothing bothers me!! Cynessa captures my chaotic energy really well and if I was evil in this reality I’d probably be her even more

What does canon media get right and/or wrong about you? (Or, how different are you from canon?)

In my mental image of myself my face is completely a screen and I have extended metal fingers on my left hand, a circuit pattern on my right and I have a cursor attached to some wires on my back. My friend (the same one who helped me edit fullscreen-faced me on ibispaint) offered to craft my cursor with me!!!

But canon absolutely gets the speaking style and standing right. My parents in this reality had to teach me to stand correctly until I was like 7 so I wouldn’t damage my muscles in my feet permanently lol

What did you look like?

I described myself in the previous question :]

I’d like to mention, though, that (— googles and looks at my canon hair—) I wore it a little more openly.

How did you find out you were/are this/these character/s?

Thought I might be digitalkin, realized that speaking like cyn was comfortable and felt right, worried that I was subconsciously copying my screen face from murder drones in a way (and my cursor from the things the disassembly drones had on their back) and then when I asked my friend if it was okay for me to talk in a certain way they essentially said “so you’re talking like cyn now?” and we figured it out from there

Is there anything canon never showed that you remember happening?

Nope, no memories :(

Do you have any memories you visit a lot?

No memories (hoping-this-doesn’t-make-me-invalid-voice)

fictionkin & fictive ask game!!

/pt: fictionkin & fictive ask game!! end of pt/

i really want to explore my identities a bit more so i decided to make my own ask game! feel free to reblog, please send an ask to whoever you reblogged it from if you can, and enjoy!

this doesn’t follow an emoji/number system because i find those hard to keep track of. questions below!

What do you think of fan works? (Such as fanfiction, fanart, etc.)

What do you think of your in-source family/friends? (A brother, a best friend, etc. that is close to who you were/are!)

What does fandom get right and/or wrong? (Such as gender or pronoun headcanons, or portrayals in fanfiction and fanart!)

Do you like the name you got in source, or do you go by a different one?

Do you own any merch from your source? If not, would you like to?

What do you remember from your past in-source, and does it align with canon media?

Do you dislike your source? Does anything in it bother you? (Such as the portrayal of a friend!)

What does canon media get right and/or wrong about you? (Or, how different are you from canon?)

What did you look like?

How did you find out you were/are this/these character/s?

Is there anything canon never showed that you remember happening?

Do you have any memories you visit a lot?

[lyculuscaelus]

So lately I’ve been seeing a lot of posts asking people to stop trying to make Odysseus look nice in their works cuz he’s a “messed-up person in the mythology”. Your opinion is valid however I have but one thing to point out:

You want to know who started all this? Who started to “make Odysseus look nice” in the first place?

It’s Homer. It’s nobody else but Homer himself.

A non-Homeric Odysseus would try to murder people out of his own interests. He’d murder Palamedes without remorse (and we’d be cheering over this but it’s a murder after all), he’d attempt to murder Diomedes just to get the Palladium himself, he’d volunteer to kill Astyanax…meanwhile you wouldn’t find any mention of either Palamedes or Nauplius in Homer’s poems, neither did he mention anything abt the Palladium heist (and Diomedes necessity did not happen until Conon’s version), the death of Astyanax, the distribution of war prizes, etc. And all the details in the Odyssey seemed to deny the existence of Nauplius’s vengeance at all, so Odysseus would not take any of the blame.

A non-Homeric Odysseus would be depicted as “cruel, treacherous”, meanwhile in book 10 of the Iliad Odysseus was not mentioned to have killed anyone during the marauding, neither did he promise Dolan anything at all. The negative interpretations are denied by these details subtly put by Homer.

A non-Homeric Odysseus would be widely known as a “coward” for only shooting arrows from afar. But Homer gave him a spear and had him absolutely slaying in both the Iliad and the Odyssey. That part of Ajax’s speech was invalid already.

Most importantly—a non-Homeric Odysseus would be having kids everywhere else, and the loyalty to his own wife as seen in the Odyssey is no where to be found. Meanwhile his lineage was a single-son line made by Zeus in the Odyssey, and his love for Penelope was one of his main drives, especially seen in book 5 of the Odyssey. He loved his family as a loving parent—something you don’t get to see in most of the non-Homeric writings—for most of the time they followed a different tradition indeed, in which Odysseus wasn’t half as nice as in the Odyssey.

TL;DR: in case you haven’t noticed, the characterization of the Homeric Odysseus was quite different from a non-Homeric version of Odysseus. It’s not that Homer didn’t know of the existence of other versions—he knew them too well, which is why in his version of the story, you don’t get to see any mention of them.

[melmedardasworld]

So I edited this post a few times since what I wanted to convey just couldn't come out, and then I stumbled across this explanation.

And all of this!

To continue with my own thoughts.

I'm not sure where the takes of Mel is more than Jayce's girlfriend or being reduced to just being at a man's side is coming from that is being spouted.... Meljay shippers know this?

People are annoyed and confused to see what was set up from S1 until S2 Act 1 and the sudden a disconnect of how we got to know the relationship was handled and their final conversation. Most of us would've been fine (I know I would) with the breakup if it wasn't so off and lackluster.

It didn't feel like Mel and Jayce, granted they went through the trenches both physically and mentally, but that understanding is only being applied to Jayce in how he behaves. Mel is just a bystander and has to take it, and she was never like that. Or did her time trapped by the BR just make her numb to everything because she feels so much and hasawakenied as a Mage and empath? If so, the writers did shit to make it clear, and we have to fill in gaps and explanations with headcanons.

Most importantly, Mel only gave and gave to others (professionally, non proffesional, platonical, familial, etc) but got nothing of the sort in return.... not even a hug, a hand squeeze, a how are you nada. That apology she got was, again, so offstandish. I didn't expect Jayce to cry out or be a lovey dovey anything, but he was more heated to scold her a beat. Mel barely got a word out there, too, to explain her side. She doesn't even fully understand her powers...

Also, in regards to interactions, why didn't we see a moment between her and Caitlin? When her mother died, Mel told Jayce to go to her, and had she seen how Ambessa did what she did, Mel would've shut things down, too. But we couldn't see the two of them bond over having lost their mothers?

No one in Piltover was concerned with their influential councilor who went missing for weeks/months? It would've been nice had we seen her and Shoola as the last ones standing or talk about the future of Piltover and the convo moving to Mel returning to Noxus and leaving it in the people's/their hands, but not a lick.

We just see her board a ship because she now has the weight of the Medarda line (who she needs to build from the ground up while the Black Rose is still out there and likely has to deal with more politics in Noxus that is more on the violent side) on her shoulders to a country she's been exiled for who knows how long.

Mel is getting to terms with her powers, her legacy, but even with her mother, Kino, Elora and now going back to a country she was exiled from, AND having to lead a faceless army. WHERE IS HER COMFORT!?!?! Who does she have to share all of this with above one minute.

It also doesn't help that people (yes, shippers mostly cause one scroll on your page they barely talk about Mel outside of ship. Not even about the popular 'she has a larger storyline' takes. Just invalidate why Meljay doesn't and never would work or was always doomed takes in response to OG shippers sharing their grievances.

There is weird and fake trolling in the meljay/mel tag when the same people never had something to say about her/ any of her relationship up until the finale and the last few Meljay scenes.

But now everyone can supposedly yap as some fake intellectual and shade others' people being annoyed, sad, and disappointed in the WAY it was written to THEM for their ship.

Meljay shippers literally had to create a niche tag because the main ones are being spammed with bad take after take and where Mel/Meljay is undermined while claiming it is all in balance in the end. Is that not insane?

Please, miss me with that. It is irritating and condescending.

Shippers in fandom love love and just a relationship in general. This is nothing new so why all these bad fate takes? They are allowed to vent their frustration on how the story for their ship is handled. Most of the same shippers also have an analysis of the characters' they ship and larger storyline that was set. Act 3 plot lines were squeezed in such a way with so many minutes left. I am still of the opinion that we should've gotten either 3 or 6 more episodes to tie all the stuff together properly since the writers themselves decided to introduce all these storylines. There was just a disconnect and OOC behavior in Meljay that wasn't expanded upon in a better way imo.

[waddleonmywaywardducks]

Something I would just like to get off my chest...

Literally I just want to talk my shit. This is just SOME of the shit I'm tired of seeing in my community.

I grew up in a extremely god-fearing Christian home. Most of my childhood years where spent in a church or with my nose stuck into a Bible. It was horrible. When I was 10, I was opened to the world of magic and slowly I realized that what I was reading could be true. I began to research as much as I could and now here we are. But anyways, as I began to expand my craft, I start to find myself with people who also practice!

My first experience with the shit talk in my community was from a witch who came from a long line of witches and claimed they were more powerful then me bc of that....I've never seen them practice or even attempt to practice....and their mother is a wiccan....ok yeah sure ☠️ like first off, literally I don't care, I don't care if your mother is a witch, I don't care that "you are the granddaughter of the witches they didn't burn" ☠️☠️ you can miss me with that. Second off, because they claimed to be a more powerful witch they said they could "mentor" me and teach me the "right ways" and when I said no they then told me I would never be powerful and that they would curse me....where's that curse at girlie???? I do not care for power. I do not care for control. I just want to find harmony with myself and the world.

The second experience I had, AND I KNOW EVERYONE. EVERYONE. HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM, was the "I've been practicing for x amount of years so....Im actually better then you" I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I do not give a fuck how long you have been practicing. Here's a real question, why do you, a "experienced" witch, feel the need to invalidate new witches, when your practice is all your own? Are you really practicing if you feel the need to scare and fearmonger newer witches? Why not help them?I remember I was at such and loss starting out because no one would tell me, they would be like "how could you not know that?!?!" Or "I would NEVER make that mistake" it's ok to make mistakes, fuck man 8 years later and I still make mistakes. Also, Witchcraft communities have always been about communicating, when looking for where to began, young witches would TURN TO THEIR ELDERS. Why have we driven away from that? Idk I just feel like if you feel the need to invalidate newer witches, you aren't actually secure in your own practice. So are you really better then me? Or are you just worried I'll become more "powerful" then you?

And I know we've all gone through the "I have the most expensive herbs so my spells are way more powerful" just say you love capitalism ☠️☠️ LMFAOOO the witches I see on tiktok are like the over consumption final boss like holy shit. I literally get everything I need from the forest outside my house, I literally haven't bought anything for my practice in like months because I put my time and energy into what I create for my deities, spells, and rituals. And honestly, Ive had way better results because of it. You don't need all this big fancy stuff, just get started with what you have. Make it your own.

Instead of doing all this, mind your business, stay to YOUR craft, and if someone asks for help you can give them what you can. Literally just be a nice person Jesus fucking Christ. Just be a nice person. The entire reason I made this blog was for witches who needed someone to push them in the right direction. This post was me talking shit, if you feel called out....then consider this a sign to try to be better, there's always a chance to start again. And also, in no way am I bashing witches who come from a long line of witches, that shit is cool as hell, I'm just saying when you use it just to be cool and not practice, bc i hate to break it to you but if you don't practice like at all, not even attempt to start, then you aren't a witch my guy im sorry being born into a witch family doesn't automatically make you a witch, you have to carve that shit out for yourself. But anyways it's 1am I'm tired I honestly have no idea why I wrote this. Ok bye.

[transhawks]

Probably because Dabi is not a child lmao. It is cringe af to want to see an adult man acting like a little pet to his childhood abuser and think of it like a nice cute thing. As if Dabi wasn't already fucked up enough.

This is a pretty fucked up way of looking at it.

"pet". So, a lot of abused as kids adults still have contact with their abusers. Maybe they have no other way of having survival and do it for financial reasons, maybe the abusers are their only support network. But aside from the "having to", you're missing another big part of the puzzle here. A lot of us love our abusers and acknowledge that as a part of them. And while the kneejerk reaction is "you shouldn't, they don't deserve it", I want to point out how fucking invalidating it feels to be told that it's "hate your abuser for what they've done" or "they're your family, you must forgive" as the only options. I've always said I want more media and stories where people like me can walk away or cut ties with abusive family because I don't think there's enough of them BUT I also don't want to shame or hurt people who want/need their own resolution of still being in contact or considering their abusers family. It's unfair to act like this a zero sum game.

No one wants Touya to "be a little pet" to Endeavor. Or at least I don't. But acknowledging it's love that fuels this and it's love that is very much a solution is a core part of the manga. It's sickening to me that you reduced the complexity of the Todoroki storyline like this, not going to lie.

And! He's fucked up! The whole story is fucked up! The whole point of Dabi, and Shouto, and just the Todoroki family is about how abuse and their societal expectations can fuck you up! Abuse doesn't often produce well-adjusted, logical or rational individuals, you have to work to undue to the literal brain damage it does to you! That's one of the whole issues with ABUSE, you know????

Dabi was emotionally abused and neglected and the root cause is so much because he genuinely loved his father, who did not know how to be an actual father and was too scared to learn/own up to his own failures. That produced this cycle. Wanting that core characterization of him to be acknowledged in fanon is not wanting Dabi to be a pet. It's wanting people to actually fucking engage with the material we are GETTING.

Let's be clear - the manga is ending with Dabi reuniting with his family. He's currently passed out and his father essentially trying to shield his family's bodies with his own body. This is not the kind of thing that's going to lead to "well, damn, i'm out of here" from Dabi. Maybe it will in a few years when there's so much more agency on Touya's part where he can choose the relationship he wants going forward. Recovery is never a straight line, and each child can define the relationship on their own terms, but it's absolutely clear that Dabi wanted that closeness and acknowledgment from his family NOW. He literally asks why it took so long in his near-death heat haze. And that means Touya and Enji will have to figure out a new relationship. If that bothers you, if you really wanted a revenge fantasy rather than an ending that relies on empathy and accountability going forward, then this is not the manga for you.

[smile-files]

i think the main issue in arguing with zionists is that, well, they believe in zionism! if israel did deserve to exist, then the genocide and injustice in palestine could be argued for (not like it should be, but it certainly could) -- and zionists believe israel deserves to exist.

i, unfortunately, have a large amount of experience interacting (personally) with zionism and zionists. most of those i've talked to feel for the palestinians, and the violence they are facing, but they fail to realize (or they staunchly deny) the very, very active part israel and the IDF have had in that -- and how it's representative of what the nation has always done.

at the same time, they focus more on israeli hostages than palestinian ones -- and i know, of course, that these zionist jews i've interacted with are either israeli or have loved ones in israel, and so have a very personal stake in the safety of israeli hostages (which may very well be friends or family members), but i find it strange how much emphasis they put on hamas' cruelty in taking hostages while the IDF is doing the same thing (in essence; the exact details of who's doing it worse are important to note, but not relevant right now, because folks should realize that their side is being at least as cruel as the enemy's).

recently i was drawn into an argument with an israeli zionist (who, unfortunately, is very close to the action and tragedy by being israeli), and she was incredibly offended by my anti-zionism and my opposition to israel's abject cruelty to palestinian citizens, as it seemed (to her) like i was bypassing the cruelty hamas has enacted on israeli citizens -- which is very telling. i've noticed that we as jews have the tendency, whatever the situation may be, of focusing more on our pain than the pain of others, even if we are the ones hurting them. that person has every reason to be scared and hurt, and i'd be lying if i said her response wasn't at least somewhat sympathetic, but her pain in this horrible, violent conflict does not invalidate the pain on the other side. jews, throughout this recent crisis, have consistently not talked in depth about the constant losses in palestine -- am i suddenly being callous by focusing on those losses, and not our own? (YOUR PAIN AND THEIRS AREN'T MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, YOU DOLT! sorry...)

because it all comes down to believing in israel! my mom has always told me about how beautiful it is there, about her time living on a kibbutz... and sure, it might be nice. i can't argue with that. but why is it that our nationalism for israel is so strong, so virulent? i have not seen patriots as loyal for any other country. and when you criticize israel, israelis feel like you're criticizing their entire existence -- and many non-israeli jews do, as well. because zionism has been built so deep into the modern religion! it's made to be a necessary piece! belief in it is the default!

and, from the inside looking in, i can't be surprised that many jews take anti-zionism as being antisemitic -- because, to them, israel and zionism stand as the pinnacle of safety and support for the jewish people. it is impossible to argue with them about anything above that base layer, as the base layer itself serves as a foundation: so long as a jew thinks that israel is right, deserved, and necessary, no proof will sway them into hating israel. it's just impossible, and that's very frustrating.

for me in particular, i find it very frustrating, as this single idea has turned so many people i know to support a genocidal entity. they believe in and support israel, so they stand with it now -- even if they condemn its current actions, they neglect how those actions are just an extension of its inherent existence -- whether they think israel's doing the right thing or wrong thing right now, they don't really care at the end of the day, because israel, to them, is necessary in keeping the jewish people alive. they stand with it, thinking that jews can only stand at all if they do.

but a genocidal crutch is no crutch at all: it only breaks us more. zionist jews make me so mad, and the worst part is that i could never express that to them in a way they'll understand.

[shit-talk-turner]

You started this blog in 2021 talking about people private lives and you don’t see the issue? And the person who thinks it’s disgusting is the crazy one? Shitting on someone for years is normal fan behavior. Very normal. I don’t know if you realize but your fav band hates you. Like for real. And they wish people like you didn’t exist. People who keep reminding them of their traumas and previous relationships. As long as it’s not on instragram it’s okay? You think they’re all stupid and have no idea smh so it doesn’t affect them. ITS FUCKING CRINGE. MATT LITERALLY CALLED YOU OUT. You keep treating Amanda like she’s stupid and you think we can’t tell. He didn’t get mad for fun but you’re a fucking psychopath so yeah, FEELINGS? what’s that? It was just w joke chill out Matt. Why so mad. Every little hint, innocent take, speculation, and even indirects you make here add up to one narrative.

You wanna do everything in your power to get some sort of reaction and then make them look stupid for reacting. Gaslighting masters, that’s for sure. But you can’t get banned for a little gossip blog. So fuck people’s feelings. I hope you’re gonna regret it one day. Genuinely. I hope you’ll somehow end up in a difficult position in your life just for entertainment of 1,000 different people. For 3 or more years. And never break, never get sad. Always pretend like you don’t see it and don’t care. Never react. Or else you’re overreacting. Because they’re rich, they’ll get over it. Are you even a human? Fuck me if I’m wasting my time. I don’t care to be called insane. But I do see other and healthier ways for entertainment. There’s plenty of them. But for some unknown reason, making fun of one particular girl for 3 years is top tier comedy for you. Her feelings are invalid. Only your entertainment matters and that’s it. You don’t see her as human and it shows. Every single day. You question her love for her own family when she goes for vacation. Or when she wishes her sister a Happy Birthday. Everything she does is somehow a cunning plan? Because 10k followers she gained from posting a picture is truly life changing and you think it’s all she cares for. You’re projecting your own empty life on someone else. Maybe you’re the one here who would do everything for some insta followers and you think everyone else thinks that way. Jesus. No. Dating a musician is not a „fairytale” that makes all your problems go away. This blog is obviously full of fangirls who want the „rockstar gf” experience. You’re pressed because you’re jealous. So admit it. You have your own little fantasy how easy it must be - all the money, free shows and travelling. And that’s enough for you. Because you’re the one here being shallow. Projection at its best. Wanna know what happens once you reach 130,000 followers? Wow, such big number. You get more business offers that’s for sure. You can use them or ignore them. And that’s about it of the good part. The rest is pretty annoying. You gain thousands of gremlins calling you talentless, fashionless, fake and of course, CHERRY ON TOP, accuse you of destroying your partner’s life or mental health? How lovely. You FORCE this narrative here almost every day so don’t call me crazy, I swear to god. „Your boyfriend is unhappy with you and to prove it, here’s a video of him meeting a fan.” Because being nice to a fan ONCE means love. You posted one fan from(sorry I don’t remember the country) here multiple times. And for what? You actually believe he’s in love with a fan or you just desperately wanna make her jealous. And use whatever you find to throw at her face. All that because she doesn’t post enough „happy pictures” for some gremlins. Now ignore it, don’t show it, pretend like no one sees it and instead answer to a 5 more shady Anons with „^^” so it doesn’t look like agreeing but somehow fits the narrative. Everything’s fine. People are just crazy. Call me insane 10 times. I don’t care. I stand by it no matter what you call me. Insane, delusional or that I see things that aren’t here? (My fav part). I see all the links, names and „speculations” and what you try to say by them. You just have one powerful thing about you here which is kinda annoying. You know how to make someone look like a bad person and pretend like „its not me, it’s them”. So it’s always „we’re gonna be bad but not too bad just in case”, only to protect your ass. And you call it „morality”. But I see it. Other people see it. It’s there. Try to say „Alex is happy with Louise” and get it posted here without being ridiculed. Mission impossible. If you wasted 3(?) years of your life here, I’m okay with wasting 2 weeks, doesn’t seem as bad. Really. I won’t be repeating myself for 3 years just like you do here so don’t tell me about wasting time. Fuck your gaslighting, at least the numbers don’t lie.

dude you’ve been here for days sending these kinds of asks. Is there someone we can call for you?

[askbensolo]

Do you still talk to Fannie and Amalia? If so, how are they doing?

I still talk to Amalia, yeah! We don’t talk that often, but we send each other memes and stuff. She lives on Coruscant now, which is where she came from before Luke found her. This is gonna sound weird, but she like, switched religions, kind of. Apparently there’s a religion of non-Force sensitives and semi-Force sensitives who revere the Force, despite not being able to feel it or use it to make things float and all that.

I don’t really get it. I asked her what the difference was, between that and being a Jedi. Or why you’d devote your life to the Force if you weren’t gonna get a lightsaber and mind powers out of it. Or why she’d join a community of non-Force sensitives, when she used to be such a powerful Jedi-in-training.

Amalia said that as a Jedi, she was always focused on how to use the Force, but now, she thinks more about how the Force uses her. The Force, to her, is less of an energy and more of a divine being with its own will, whose will we ought to discern and follow. And then there was some other stuff about how she thinks the light side/dark side balance thing isn’t actually true, that what we call the light side of the Force is really just the Force itself, and…well, it’s way over my head, so don’t ask me.

I don’t know, I guess it’s kinda interesting. But I’m a little more interested in paying my bills and hitting work deadlines right now.

One thing’s clear to me, though. Amalia is way happier than she used to be. More chill. And nicer. Doesn’t stop her from roasting me all the time though—which is good, because I’d hate to lose such an integral part of our friendship.

As for Fannie…well, she and I aren’t really in contact anymore. She went to Ryloth to work with a Twi’lek anti-trafficking organization around the time that I left for college, and things haven’t really been the same between us after that.

Fannie and I used to be real buds. She always saw the best in me (even when I was being a jerk), and showed a lot of care for me that I hadn’t really experienced before. We became even closer after she broke up with her boyfriend Deirak because of their differing plans for the future (she was set on returning to Ryloth, and he wanted to stay with Luke and be a Jedi teacher).

Even though Fannie was the one who ended things with him, it still made her really sad, so after the breakup I spent a lot of time with her and listened to her cry and invited her to hang out with my family and took her on walks a lot. (Looking back, I can see why Deirak stopped being nice to me around then. Whoops. Sorry bro.)

Anyway…after I went to Naboo and she went to Ryloth, being in such different worlds—I mean our lifestyles, not the planets—put kind of a strain on our friendship. I was complaining about writing essays, and cramming for finals, and enduring my stupid stupid stupid Nonhuman Studies courses where everyone was like “Ben is a human so his opinion on Hutt crime lords is invalid”—and Fannie was like, “Oh yeah, I helped deliver a baby today. I went on an undercover mission to help a woman escape her slaver.”

Awkward.

It’s not like we fought over it or anything. But…there was just this…disconnect, and we both were really busy, and eventually we kind of just…stopped talking.

Well…okay, maybe I was the one who stopped replying as much. And then I got anxiety whenever I opened our messages and remembered I hadn’t replied in over a month.

She did reach out to me last summer to ask if I graduated. I was like, “Haha, yeah!” and she was like “Congratulations!” and I was like, “Thanks!” and that was that.

I do think about her a lot though. I think I could have been a better friend to her. I wish that I had supported her more, instead of focusing on myself and feeling self-conscious. Sometimes I think about reaching out again, but…I don’t know. It’s been a long time. I’m still busy, and I’m sure she is too. Maybe that friendship just ran its course…

[decadesfinds]

A realism tip and slight tangent for your 1890s-1950s sim homes!

When placing a sewing machine, pair it with a rocking chair.

Rocking chairs (usually without arms!) were used to help keep rhythm with the manual treadle pedal of the sewing machine, which required you to move it back and forth with your feet in order to keep the machine running smoothly. A rocker was the ultimate tool for this, because it also helped a tailor or wife to not hunch over, as you can't rock that way. It saved your back, and your shoulders, from aches and pains. Some people even used them when longform typing became more common and the angle of the fountain pen was no longer a going concern. (I own three Chinese fountain pens. They're actually quite nice to use, but you're fucked if you're on an angle.)

The reason this went away was electric sewing machines and the slow death of home economics and home skills like sewing your own clothing. Prosperity and mass production was nothing new - many eras throughout history often didn't bother making their own clothing, including Colonial America - as they were able to just go to the shop and buy something new after being fitted for it and commissioning a tailor. There were also off-the-shelf options. These came back after WW2 and all but wiped out the culture of home-sewing that had been cultivated between the turn of the century and the two wars. It was often that you could even get together with others you knew and collaborate on a piece, especially if skills overlapped, to make it quickly. Such occasions slowly became "sewing circles" and would spin off into other hobbies.

Sewing machine owners were almost always women or girls (as the past would define it. AFABs, basically.) The machines were even sized for smaller hands, which was a stereotype about women's bodies for a long time. Though men could sew, it was often seen as something only men who were "infirm" or "invalid" (injured or disabled) could do, as a way to pass the time when unable to leave the home or place of care. Hand-sewing was seen as manlier, as it was much easier to do in the middle of a logging camp or out herding sheep across the plains. (I personally picked it up due to being raised into a very, very conservative church that taught all the prepper essentials. I'm obviously no longer a part of that place and would burn it to the ground if I could, but hey, free life skills.)

With the can-do, make-do spirit that pervaded the first half of the 20th century, many women found themselves in charge of making their entire family's clothing, curtains, and household items such as linens, as a cost-saving measure or out of a specific need.

For an IRL example, my previous home that I lived in for 11 years had hand-sewn, hand-tailored curtains from the early 60s almost certainly done on an old treadle machine (if you sew, you can tell). They were beautiful, so we kept them... and also, well, free curtains for weird-shaped windows. Have you SEEN the price of a set of nice curtains? Holy crap.

[h4t5t0f55l]

disclaimer: this is lighthearted please don't come for me. again i am aware my.mental health is no one else's responsibility i just found this fun.

there's always certain people who trigger me more than others. not that its their fault or that they've done anything wrong. but i find my.brain is unable to relax around them?

like one guy in my flat is very busy and all over the place. people look up to him. and he has quite a deadpan humour. he's the kind of guy who doesn't really understand why I am like this.

"oh you're scared, just do it!!"

he's nice and he's never been mean and yet i feel like i'm bothering him whenever i speak to him. i feel like i'm not good enough to speak to him. he's unobtainable so i can't obtain his time.

then there are the avoidants. those peopl3 who take ages to answer your texts. i am also those people depending on the day. the people that when you're together you might as well be the wall. the ones who never initiate. so then you force through you're own anxiety to try to. only to wish that you didn't care that this person doesn't care about you as much.

the victims, people who have it rough but then come to me with their problems. once i help them i bind myself in a never-ending cycle of supporting their emotional needs and comforting them in a weird co-dependency. when after all that time they should very well realise that this is a one way transaction.

they can rely on me but i cannot rely on them because they remind me that i have no reason to feel bad. and that i could have it worse. they keep me.in the cycle of self-supression. and constantly trying to avoid the deep ache in my stomach

honourable mentions/self-explanatory;

1) inpatient people "just hurry up" what if i kicked you in the shins

2) the too nice person. you just make me realise how shit of a person i am. i feel bad taking favours from you. i feel bad using your kindness. i feel bad that you like me enough. don't you know how horrible i am?

3) controlling people. nah fuck you

4) hypocrites. you bring out this righteous anger that i don't deserve to possess and i feel the need to smite you down so you realise you don't deserve to present yourself as moral. in turn i have brought myself down to their level

5) other emotionally volatile people. i can't deal with your emotions. please don't cry. i'll cry because it hurts and accidentally make it about me. or stand awkwardly not knowing what to do. pick your fighter.

6) assumption makers. why do you think you know what's going on in my head better than myself huh?

7) people who have what i want. aka parents who love them. its not fairrrrrr but also i can't blame you, i just wish i had it.

8) myself. bro's my biggest bully. it doesn't matter who i interact with. my brain just beats me up during and after.

9) my family.

10) not exactly the "victim" but maybe a special brand of them. those people who will try so hard to prove to you they have a problem/are different. like that person who makes it their whole personality that they have autism, like they don't even have to mention they think they're autistic. every sentence it's just "well i experience, *textbook autism symptom*" and ok I don't blame these people, they just feel the need to prove that their autistic enough to themselves and others and i understand it because there's the fear no one will believe you. but omg you're making me feel bad now. like for some resson the fact you're trying so hard to prove you're autistic is kind of making me feel invalid. like behind every sentence the person is trying to drop the hint. you think they're dying for you to be like "oh are you autistic" but you don't because you don't care and if they wanted you to know that they were then they should just say. idk. it just irks me as someone who's autsitic themself. and these people are often the same people as in the next category

11) the "i've suffered worse than you's" and the "look at how hard i have it". slow down man it's not a competition. i can tell the difference between someone genuinely venting and those that are doing it for some sort of pity points. sorry the narcissism i suffer with just jumps out around these people. like how the fuck can you just blatently fish for attention like that, do you have no shame? but also damn I kind of wish i could do that too but i'm not allowed to. why is no one calling you out on it? what do you mean? you're also terribly ruining the vibe and making me dislike you. the venters i don't dislike because even though they trigger my discomfort and self-loathing they are genuinely seeking help from a friend and its my duty to be their friend. the "look how hard i have it's" are like.. annoying. there's this urge to be like "i don't care" but thats mean. but i genuinely don't. i stopped caring by the 3rd time you mentioned it.

12) unpredictable people/loud people

13) people who try to simulate the emotionally abusive connection i have with my parents by making me rely on them as they are both my abuser and saviour and because they cut me off from all my friends and used my autism against me so i didn't realise they didn't mean it when they said they liked me

[mintacle]

I’d also like to add, Jason being a survivor for survivors in general.

Obviously everything you and others have posted on this matter is valid but I wanted to add that you don’t have to have a history of abuse to feel worthy of living.

To me (someone who fortunately hasn’t struggled with abuse in my life) I find Jason inspirational because if we look at Jason and strip him of everything that makes him him. He will always fundamentally be a survivor. A survivor of yes abuse, but also a survivor of being a child born from low income background/ poverty. A survivor of familial issues. He is a survivor of everything that’s happened in his life and that’s what I think is so real.

I am in no way trying to invalidate those who have suffered from forms of abuse. I just wanted to add that whether you have survived a traumatic experience or simply difficult circumstances, you continue to survive and endure just like Jason has.

That to me is what makes Jason so special and relatable. Idk even without a traumatic childhood/history of abuse I still tend to feel lost in this world. I am a part of a low income family, and I have experienced trauma in my life, but I feel like it can’t compare to the hardships so many others face. I try to tell myself that despite everything I am a survivor. I don’t know of what specifically but I am surviving despite my mental health.

It’s just nice to know that this character exists and continues to exist despite his challenges. Just. Like. Me. And that other people who grew up feeling alone or thinking they were worthless (despite having a “normal” childhood) can also exist and survive like him.

I tell myself that Jason’s form of justice by eradicating the worst criminals and protecting the vulnerable is beautiful. That his revenge against the worst of Gothams criminals is empowering and right. But my circumstances are different. I’m angry and there’s no one to take my revenge on. So, I tell myself to survive because isn’t living just taking revenge on the possibility of death?

Anyway, I am a survivor like Jason and I’m proud to say it.

This is gonna be a loaded topic and I know some people feel strongly about it, and I'm not 100% sure on the tone of your message anon, but I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's in good faith. The first thing I have to say is that there are very few situations in which comparing misfortunes and difficulties is warranted. They do exist (such as abusers claiming their misfortune is more relevant than the pain they are inflicting onto others) but anon, when you say you feel proud for overcoming odds and for surviving and that you feel like identifying with Jason, there is absolutely no need to justify yourself. If you see yourself in a character, then that is yours to feel and identify with.

Jason Todd also came from poverty. His rejection by most vigilantes and alienation is easy to identify with for many different reasons, including living with mental health problems. Finally you mentioned that you have had hardships but don't feel you can compare it to other's hardships... and I don't know about you or your life, but either way, you don't have to compare it. For what? For who? Comparing and ranking severity of trauma serves no purpose but to silence people. Whatever it is you've experienced, you don't have to justify yourself in front of anyone to take it seriously.

On a personal note, I can, and I have, been stuck in denying my own pain because "other people have had it worse". My advice is, just don't go there with your thoughts. Even if you're just feeling sad cuz you dropped your fries and can't eat them anymore. If you're sad, you're sad. You're allowed to have your feelings.

I am honestly a bit confused about your repeated mentioning that you don't have it bad (because no one has claimed that Jason is only for those to enjoy who "qualify" with "severe enough" trauma, so the message reads kinda defensive to me?). I don't know you or your situation. And I'm really struggling to read the tone of the message O.O But uh, hm, Jason Todd is for everyone. I don't think anyone is gate-keeping him, but he is singular in how he attracts people who face discrimination or have experienced trauma.

[dearweirdme]

Hello!

I just wanted to say that I recently found your blog and although I’m not a shipper myself and don’t ship any of the boys together, I respect and find your opinions on Taekook interesting and nice to read, because although you do think they’re together, you don’t make their relationship their entire personalities or brush off their own individual selves; and as a Jungkook stan, that means a lot to me. I’m looking forward to read more of your old and new posts. Thank you for shedding light on the beautiful bond Taekook have (one i felt scared of looking up beforehand because of the bad rep some tkkrs have)

Have a nice day 💜

Hi anon!

Thanks for your message 😊.

Generally speaking, people are always so much more than their relationships. And a lot of times our relationships are not even the most visible part of us. Our jobs, our hobbies, our friendships, they are all a part of us, but they do not make us. We are individuals, and during our lives others will join us.

Tae is Tae and Jk is Jk. I believe most of what they show us is themselves and not their relationships (whether it’s their partner or their friendships or their families). They want to show us their work, and at times maybe a bit more… and at other times maybe we pick up some other things too.

People are so much more than who they’re involved with. It is so invalidating of the hard work they put into everything they do.

[fanfics4all]

Nice Warm Drink

Request: Yes / No List was made by @alpaca-clouds 

Requests are open only if it's CHRISTMAS/HOLIDAY/ WINTER related <3 Have a nice day/night

Dennis Cooper x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 703

Warnings: Nothing!

Y/N: Your Name 

Prompt(s):

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

If you enjoy my work, you could also show support by buying me a coffee! 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

It was the middle of the night and I had just woken up. I always had trouble sleeping around the Holidays. My family and I were never close, so Holidays always triggered my depression. I stared up at my ceiling and sighed. I turned and glanced at my alarm clock. The bright red numbers blinked four twentyfour through the darkened room. I sighed and decided to get up. I quietly made my way through the codere and into the kitchen. I searched the cabinets and found the packets of hot chocolate. I busted out a pot and started heating up some milk. As I was pulling out a mug I heard someone padding down the steps. 

“Y/N?” Dennis asked, while rubbing his eye. 

“Hey, sorry, did I wake you?” I asked and he shook his head.

“Nah, I was up for a little bit now, but heard someone in the kitchen.” He said. 

“Oh, well sorry for the noise.” I said and he just shook his head. He took a seat at the counter and gave me a small smile. 

“What’s got you up so early?” He asked and I sighed. 

“Holidays are just hard for me, so I have a hard time sleeping sometimes.” I answered and he frowned. 

“Anything I can do to help?” He asked and I gave him a small smile. 

“Thanks, but I just wanna try and get back to sleep, you want some?” I asked as I grabbed an extra mug. 

“Sure, what are you making?” He asked and I smiled. 

“Hot chocolate.” I said and he chuckled. 

“I used to have some with my son around the time.” He said with a small sigh. 

“It always helps me get back to sleep.” I said, trying not to send Dennis into a depression as well. The milk started boiling and I quickly picked it up so it wouldn’t boil over. I gingerly poured some milk into each of the mugs. Once they were mostly full I put the powder in and stirred. I placed the pan in the sink and made a mental note to clean it later. I handed Dennis his mug and took a seat next to him. 

“Thanks.” He said and I smiled at him. The two of us drank in silence, but it was comfortable. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked out of no where and I took a deep breath. 

“My family and I were never really close and I wish we were, so every Holiday kind of sends me into a depression.” I shrugged. 

“I understand, sort of.” He said and I glanced at him. 

“I think you have more of a reason to be upset around this time.” I said and he sighed. 

“Don’t invalidate your feelings like that, Y/N.” He said and i sent him a small smile. 

“Isn’t that what I always say to you?” I asked and he chuckled. 

“Yeah, but it’s good advice.” He said and I giggled. 

“True.” I said and he smiled. 

Each of us finished our drinks and placed our mugs into the skin. I made another mental note to clean those along with the pan. I turned to face Dennis and he gave me a small smile. 

“We should get back to sleep, hmm?” He asked and I nodded. The two of us headed up the stairs and Dennis stopped at his door. 

“You think you’ll be able to get to sleep on your own?” He asked and I shrugged. 

“Maybe.” I answered. 

“Do you wanna stay with me?” He asked and I blushed. 

“Are you sure?” I asked and he nodded. 

“Maybe not being alone will help both of us.” He said and I smiled. 

“Okay…” I whispered and followed him inside his room. We got into his bed and he wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head on his chest and smiled to myslef. 

“This alright?” He asked and I nodded. 

“It’s perfect.” I said sleepily. I felt my eyes slowly drift closed and I thought I felt Dennis kiss the top of my head, but I couldn’t be sure in my tired state. 

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered. 

“Night, Dennis…” I whispered back.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction

[complicatedsimplicity]

I got into a fight with a family member I was previously close to over religion. Idk I accept that she finds comfort and answers in God and I just wish she would accept I don't. I have my own deities and I find comfort in them. Why can't that be enough? Why don't the adults in my life (those who have always been adults in my life) ever go you know I can tell this subject is upsetting you deeply let's talk about something else? Why must they invalidate everything I've experienced? Is it so hard to look at your descendant and say I love you and I respect that you have reasons for your choices even if I don't understand them. It would be nice for them to want to understand but is so far off I can't even imagine it really. Idk I guess the thing that gets me is she contradicted everything she claims to believe about me in this one argument. The fact that she wouldn't let it go until I all but hung up on her makes me think that's what she really thinks.

[windona]

If you're still open for prompts

Outlaws AU: injury and recovery

Rose kept her eye focused forward, keeping her attention on the prisoners and their guards.

The tension rose, and then she lunged forward to cut them down. None would die from her blade, but they would not leave unscathed either. She kicked, lunged, and sliced arm after arm off. She left a few with arms attached and just sliced their guns before knocking them out- didn't want to exceed her maiming limit and miss out on ice cream sundaes, after all.

Finally, all the prisoners were down. Her right leg itched, but that didn't matter compared to finding the keys and letting the people in that cell out.

"No control chips?"

"No," one said in thickly accented English. "Thank you. For saving. Are you okay?"

"I-"

"Ravager!"

Geoforce had finished with his part of the mission, apparently.

Rose turned around. "Hi, I got the prisoners here. What is the status-"

"Ravager. Your leg." Brion walked up to her and held out an arm to support her.

Suddenly she noticed the pain and blood dripping down. "Oh."

Looking up, Geoforce said, "Does anyone have a-" A prisoner came by with a piece of cloth, as another found a local first aid kit. Nice of these traffickers to supply that.

Brion's hands tenderly moved away the costume to attend to her leg as he propped it up on his lap. The other prisoners kept lookout and helped hand over first aid material, one offering advice. Soon it was well wrapped.

"Okay, now to complete-"

"No," the prisoner from before said. "A wound like that needs rest. Especially since it hit muscle."

Hitting his comm, Geoforce said, "Ravager injured. Will regroup."

"Copy. Starfire and I will clean up here."

**

At the base, Rose grumbled as she was forbidden from straining herself. She was on the couch in the main living area, head resting against the pillows as the old TV played some British show.

"I'm not invalid."

"You need to heal," Kory said as she brought over some soup. "Rest is an important part of getting stronger."

"Hypocrite," Rose said as she took the soup. "But thank you."

"Denise will be stopping by," Kory said as she began to comb Rose's hair.

"And one of us will be with you at all times," Jason added as he walked in with his own bowl of soup. "Plus, we have all these files we pulled from the last mission. If you get bored with your school work, you can always help us decode the information."

Brion passed Kory a frilly ribbon, edged with lace he made. "You did save those people, and limited it to maiming only two of the guards. I'm proud of you."

Around the spoonful of soup, Rose smiled. With her family around, this was going to be the easiest recovery she ever had.

[maskedrealities]

Do you not care that I’ve been away? Do you really not want to bother with messaging me? Checking in on me? I clean for you. I do everything for you.

Even when I’m sick or my mental health is rock bottom, I care for you. Do you care for me? Or do you just get tired and complacent?

I want to spend time with you. You want to game. I want to cuddle but you don’t want to. But when you want to cuddle and I don’t want to, you cry and get more upset than I do. Why?

I break myself to make you happy. You weren’t like this before.

I do everything for you. Cleaning? I do that. Laundry? I do that. Making food for you? I do that. Yet you don’t do that for me. You don’t help me. Yes, I want to be able to relax and stay home because of my disability, but when I can’t move and everything flares up, I still have to push myself, I still have to do everything while you lay in the bed.

It’s been months since you’ve done anything for me, weeks. I ask you for small things and you still don’t do them. “I want to be lazy.” Fine. But you’re part of the reason I keep snapping and can’t handle anything. I won’t tell you that, though. I know you’ll cry and get worse so I’ll smile and be happy.

I want to get away from you sometimes. You get everything. But when I want to be taken care of and fawned over, you don���t bother. I break my back for you and I get nothing.

You want to be with me, and I want to be with you, but what good is there? Whenever I tell you that I want to be cared for, something happens to you.

If I’m sad, I have to hide it because you get sad. If I’m annoyed, I have to hide it because you think it’s you. If something is wrong, I can’t say because you think it’s your fault fucking constantly. You’re so annoying but I won’t tell you that. You told me you were clingy, you’re fucking lying.

The only one you want is your favorite, I can’t be that to you, apparently. I used to be and now you want nothing to do with me. Fuck you.

You tell me you love me but I don’t believe you. You make me feel like a toy. I’m just here to help with your room, help with your games, do everything for you because you won’t bother. I care for you so much. Yet you never fucking care for me. Buying me over isn’t going to work, show some goddamn initiative.

But you won’t do that. I’ve been told by family that me being upset with you is invalid. That I must be nice to you because you work night shift at a job you don’t even want to work at. So I shove everything down. That’s not even breaching on the fucking emotional abuse you gave me that you won’t even own up to.

It was my fault that the relationship was failing to you. Even though you treated me like a fucking one night stand and didn’t fucking bother to show me love and affection.

You haven’t even taken me on a goddamn date in months. And yet you want to get married? Please. Grow up. Marriage with you will be my hell.

Maybe if I could have our own place, it would be different. But I know I’ll always have to break my back and get nothing in return from you.

I hate you.

I fucking despise you.

I hope you rot.

But I still love you.