#it's about love it's about grief it's about madness i don't Know
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Please. Tommys helicopter crashing while him and Buck are still broken up? That would be such great drama.
You know what I want? I want Buck to get mad. He has yet to actually get mad at a love interest. He's been hurt and confused, but I want him to get angry. I want him to go out and fuck like he's getting revenge on Tommy, even though he's the one who got left behind again, and I want him to convince himself he's absolutely fine. Eddie can see it, of course. Bobby and Maddie and all the people who love him can see that he's not fine, but I want Buck to pretend he is like he'll die if he doesn't. He deletes Tommy's name from his contacts and dumps all his stuff in the trash and erases his existence from his life like he's nothing more than yesterday's news.
I want this to continue through the rest of the season, long enough that both the characters and the audience start to think that maybe Buck is fine after all. Maybe this whole thing with Tommy was just a mistake, a hiccup. Maybe Tommy was right and saw writing on the wall that Buck didn't. Maybe he was smart by getting out when he did because Buck doesn't cry. He doesn't vent to Eddie, or show up on his doorstep like a kicked puppy. He lives fast and vibrant, and shows up to work covered in hickeys and lipstick and other people's cologne, and if Tommy really was as transformative of a love as he believed he was, shouldn't he be devastated?
Anyway.
Fast forward to the season finale. Athena has been following a case of corporate corruption where an auto and aeronautics manufacturer has been exposed for using faulty parts in their vehicles that have resulted in auto collisions and deaths across the country. None of this really concerns or interests Buck at all, if he's being honest. He fixes his own car for the most part (Tommy showed him how) and that which he can't do, he takes to his usual mom-and-pop mechanic for them to work on. Which is to say that, his life consists of sex and work, so news reports of [Same Company] being responsible for a Cessna crashing in Northern California don't really filter through.
Not until the 118 is called to a helicopter crash just outside of Los Angeles.
Even then, Buck doesn't think about Tommy. Why would he? Tommy Kinard is barely even a memory at this point, just an idea on the edge of his brain, an almost that was quickly buried. Helicopters crash all the time, so he has no reason to believe there's anything out of the ordinary about this one. But then when they're en route, Maddie's voice comes over the radio, tight with emotion and forcibly professional in a way that makes him immediately nauseous: Captain Nash, please be advised that the helicopter in question is one of our own. It's an LAFD chopper. Then, Hen and Eddie and Chimney and Bobby all turn to look at him, and Buck has nowhere to run from their gaze. Even if he did, he couldn't, because he feels paralyzed. Bobby's voice asking if there are any survivors, and Maddie's voice saying she's unsure get lost to the thrum of his heartbeat in his ears. Every repressed emotion, every memory, every bit of desperate longing and grief and love and anger comes rushing back in full force and all Buck can do is sit there while the engine weaves through Los Angeles traffic.
Tommy is fine, of course. He codes on the way to the hospital (Buck performing CPR on his boyfriend while begging him to stay alive is my drug), but once all is said and done, once he's come out of surgery with a little more metal in his body than he went in there with, he's okay. Buck isn't, not by a mile. He's full of too many emotions that he doesn't know how to sort through, chief among them being love, followed closely by anger, and then, guilt, of all things. But after Tommy opens his eyes, after Buck breaks down spectacularly, and after they finally confess that they love each other, Buck makes Tommy look him in the eyes:
"You don't get to run from this. Not again. I mean it. If you get scared, you talk to me. If you need to slow down, you talk to me. You don't make decisions for me, for us, and expect me to be okay with it. That's not how this works."
"Okay."
"I mean it, Tommy. I can't -"
"I mean it too. I promise. Okay?"
"Okay."
Anyways. Yeah. That's how I would do it.
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Arcane S2 Act 1: Caitlyn's Arc (The Call of Revenge)
This is not my usual corner of tumblr, but I adore Arcane and I wanted to air out my thoughts on Act 1. There's understandably a lot of contentious commentary surrounding Caitlyn's 'villain uprising'.
As Mel points out, "she hides it admirably, but the poor girl's in so much pain". Caitlyn is by all definitions a loose cannon right now. She's clearly not in a sound nor stable state of mind. She's plagued by immense levels of grief, anger and hatred, that have her possessed and consumed. She's tried to put on a brave face but she's lashing out. She's raw. She fantasises about killing Jinx. Revenge is rarely ever rational or fair. It's emotionally charged and can often veer into madness.
During their fight with Jinx, all that comes to a head. In the heat of the moment, Caitlyn completely loses all her rationale, any dregs of compassion we knew from S1 swiftly go out the window. She must kill Jinx, no matter what. When people lose something dear, revenge can become their sole motivation, the only thing giving them purpose and a reason to keep going or to even stay alive. When a war suddenly takes away one of your loved ones, it becomes personal and very real. Up until that point, you can take a more diplomatic approach. A more idealistic stance. That is, until you've become a direct victim of the situation.
There was always a degree of sheltered naivete we saw with Caitlyn in S1, which clashed with Vi's more jaded (or grounded) sense of reality. And now Caitlyn's experiencing that for herself. Those feelings are currently at their most heightened, most potent and therefore; most dangerous. Luckily Vi had Vander to guide her when she tragically lost her parents, but there's no one to steer and influence Caitlyn when she's now at her most vulnerable and volatile.
Vi is wrapped up in the centre of said conflict and is still processing a lifetime of grief herself. Jayce is pre-occupied with Viktor. Mel has disappeared. Her mother is dead. Her father is paralysed by grief. There is no Grayson or equivalent to lead the enforcers. She doesn't have a mentor figure to consult or look to for guidance, who has her best interests at hand. "I don't know how, okay?!"
Ambessa seeks to exploit Caitlyn as a figurehead to aid her own objectives, precisely because she's in the perfect position to be easily manipulated and weaponised. "Come child", is a stark reminder that essentially Caitlyn is still a child. A child whose lost their mother and lost their way and now stands in the middle of a political hailstorm. So when Ambessa offers out her hand, it's no surprise Caitlyn takes it.
In my opinion, attempting to distill Caitlyn's actions as categorically right or wrong is a huge disservice to the complexities of the situation and the story. No one sets out to be the villain of their own narrative. We feel justified in what we do, because of who we are and what we've gone through. In our own minds, our actions make sense to us. And quite frankly, no one is immune to that.
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane s2 act 1#arcane meta#arcane s2 spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#there was indeed a lot of misery in this first act#THE PAIN#as much as i understand the backlash - i really do feel for her#this was brutal for caitvi shippers#they utterly broke my heart#broken people trying to fix each other and ending up more broken
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ID. photos of the grimoire pages. first is a 2-page spread with a pale blue-tinted watercolor painting of the Guardian approaching Mara, kneeling on the ground with Uldren's corpse across her lap. the following pages show the script for a never-made cutscene:
NARRATIVE IN:
The player followed the whispers of Cayde-6 into the Dreaming City, a surreal shrine world that the Awoken claim to own.
EXT. SHORES OF THE DREAMING CITY - DAWN
Silver waves TOSS the GUARDIAN onto a spit of wet sand. They lay there, half-drowned, GHOST clutched in their fist.
Nearby, an ancient SALT-CRUSTED HIVE WARSHIP hangs suspended inexplicably in the air, blasted into dozens of plasma-charred pieces.
The shoreline wraps around a rocky coast. An elegant AMETHYST TOWER juts defiantly from the cliffside, a feat of gravity-defying engineering. EDDIES OF MIST obscure the horizon, but the ALIEN SKY of this place is undeniable: above, FOREIGN MOONS orbit the accretion disc of a BLACK HOLE.
Where are we…?
THE GUARDIAN STANDS, allowing GHOST to float out of their hand. They give their gun a quick once-over.
MARA SOV (O.S.) (grieving) Hundreds of my subjects died for this plan.
THE GUARDIAN SNAPS TO ATTENTION, readying their gun. Just up the beach, partially obscured by mist--
MARA SOV sits, hunched, KNEELING in the sand.
MARA SOV "Subjects." Hmph. My friends. My family…
Drawing closer, we see MARA is cradling ULDREN'S BODY in her lap, a mirror of the Guardian cradling Cayde's body.
In death, ULDREN looks frail.
MARA blazes with bitter grief. She loved her brother. She loved her people, too.
MARA SOV Hundreds of the Awoken are dead because of me. Hundreds, gone forever, or resurrected as a war drone for your Traveler. And you don't even realize we've done it all to help save humanity. (beat) You think we're enemies.
MARA GLARES up at the Guardian, unflinching. She's faced far worse than this since we last saw her. She's conquered death.
So has the Guardian. Still, THEY LOWER THEIR GUN
THE GUARDIAN I saw something that looked like you. Some kind of illusion.
MARA SOFTENS. She looks down at Uldren.
MARA SOV I know.
SHE STROKES HIS HAIR.
MARA SOV (CONTD) This -- (beat; a difficult truth) -- was not part of the plan… (forgetting her audience) It's my fault he went into the Garden… My fault he killed your friend…
GHOST (O.S.) (with compassion) That's not true.
MARA LOOKS UP. She SHIFTS ULDREN TO THE SAND, sister-tender, then rises, composed and imperious. The Queen of the Awoken.
MARA SOV I will set this right.
She STEPS CLOSER to the Guardian, chin tipped upward.
MARA SOV And you, the Chosen Dead, will help me.
The Guardian glances at GHOST, then NODS.
None of them notice the SHADOWY APPARITION OF CAYDE-6, watching from the clifftops…
NARRATIVE OUT:
The player will learn about the monster that lured them into the Dreaming City and drove Uldren to madness.
End ID.
sorry deleted cutscene script where we see Mara mourning Uldren??? where has this been all my life
I just tracked it down again and it was released in one of the grimoire anthology books like I'm insannneeee why wasn't it in the video game I love Mara so muchhhh (pics from this reddit post)
#destiny#loreposting#mara sov#GOD. CHRIST. GNAWING MY ARM OFF AND SCREAMING.#FUCKING. RRRRRRRGRHRGRHRHGRHGRHRGRHR#'she loved her brother. she loved her people too'#'sister-tender'#gritting my teeth and frothing at the mouth#THIS is mara's natural habitat i need her MISERABLE and determined. my favorite little bastard.#i should go reread my own fic where i put mara in the figurative blender in the far future when everyone she knows except elsie is DEAD <33
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“what is hamlet about?” it’s about love, bitch
#it's about love it's about grief it's about madness i don't Know#hamlet#shakespare#it's about gay romance#im kidding
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okay so, having now seen furiosa: a mad max saga opening night and having Ruminated on my thoughts, I am going to give my two-pence on the movie even though nobody asked or wanted it - you're getting it anyway!
but before going into the full thing, I actually re-watched fury road today, bc I just wanted to contrast it now that we know furiosa's full story that lead her to her trek in fury road, and I just had mad max on the brain (and also I love that movie).
spoilers under the cut below!!
first, I already knew before seeing the prequel, that that scene in fury road where furiosa breaks down after learning about what happened to 'the green place,' was going to now hit 2x as hard once we learn what really happened the moment she was ripped away, and...yeah, it's super painful to watch. it was already a very emotional scene, but now having known how much pain and struggle it costed her, how many times furiosa desperately made her bet to get back home and fell short - you can really feel her grief
funnily enough though, I was shocked to find myself tearing up not during that scene, but when furiosa was reunited with the last of the many mothers. having just watched her ripped away so unfairly as a defenseless child, her whole world destroyed and clinging onto this dream of one day, getting to embrace her family - you can't help it!! I started tearing up when the other woman rushed to furiosa, embracing her with the gentle touch of their foreheads, 'this is our furiosa' 😭 like..she did it!! she made it home!!! - also, I learned in the credits - that woman was actually the same little girl, valkyrie, in furiosa who was her friend!!! that girl saw her friend get snatched and pulled away from their home, and then finally, both grown, they reuinite! I just thought that was sweet
what max says to her about hope in the scene after they find the mothers, 'if you can't fix what's broken..you'll go insane.' - my mind immediately jumped to dementus. we get this glimpse that he once had a wife and child(ren) he loved, that were either taken from him or killed, and he tells furiosa in their stand-off more or less how that destroyed him mentally, further plunging him into this hateful madman who acts so cruelly to others. he couldn't 'fix' it by getting them back ('I want them back!!' 'I can't!!'), the one thing he loved that kept him sane, and so he lost his humanity.
I saw a post of someone saying how ricktus's death (immortan joe's son) is 10x more satisfying after having seen what he (nearly) did to child furiosa...abso-fucking-lutely (though, I think with that in mind, furiosa should've gotten a part in it..)
also, max & and furiosa's dynamic after knowing about her & jack...the parallels! the parallels!! their gradual bond of trust, how fluidly they work together to kill/fight the enemies of the citadel akin to her and jack vs. dementus and gang, etc.
this saga, of course, is about hope and redemption, alluded to in both fury road and the prequel. in fury road, max says (I think in his opening monologue) how he was once strived to be a 'righteous warrior', who could do good and help others. later, when one of the wives finds the warboy nux, he's distraught bc he thinks his chances for greatness are gone, but then she tells him that maybe, he's destined for something greater - and that would be, of course, later sacrificing himself to save her and the rest by crashing the rig into the war party. in furiosa, jack says how his parents were valiant warriors, and how he hopes one day, he could be the same - also, later, fulfilling that by sacrificing himself so that furiosa might escape dementus and the destroyed gastown. it's just such an amazing string of parallels - all three men, looking to do something great, and then, through furiosa, they're given that chance and achieve something good even amongst the destruction!! but it's only bc of furiosa, this harbinger of hope, that they do so - she's the tie between them all, the embodiment of that goodness!!! it's! just! so! good!!!
honestly there's probably way more parallels out there I'm sure ppl will bring up, but those were the things that struck me. now, onto my actual thoughts on the prequel.
--I'll start by saying I was unbelievably excited to see this movie. I'm annoyed though, bc despite knowing about it and wanting to see it once it was released, I literally only learned it was coming out a week before the release date. straight up, the press for it was so poor, not once did I hear about it before the trailer randomly crossed my feed one day - and considering how popular fury road is, I find that bizarre (but, I'll bet you a good couple bucks, that the press/hype was deliberately poor bc of the movie company execs, due to this being a female lead film 😠) - but it did mean I didn't have to wait too long, and that I did watch the trailer about 13 times on my own accord until then..
--having read the reviews, I do agree, it is a bit slower then fury road - but, that's really only bc it's a character story instead. fury road takes places in the current time of the film and the actions that follow, whereas the prequel is specifically about furiosa, so it's honed less to the action and more about a certain character, in my opinion. but it's just as good for a character story! it does an excellent job of unfolding furiosa's journey, and really, if you're gunna compare everything in the franchise to fury road, it's never gunna live up. that said, there's still excellent action and real nail-biting moments.
--I will say though, that I found it almost...darker, then fury road? fury road is definitely intense and there's of course violence, but it never openly tips into anything past pg-13; the darkness that is there, is more or less touched upon by the narrative (like, we can get a sense of what must've happened to the wives (ie assault) and why they escaped once we see how immortan joe regards them as property, the suffering furiosa must've went through by the pure vitriol look she gives him when their cars are side-by-side and later, 'remember me?' before killing him (my favourite scene)). but it's never explicit - furiosa is. from the torture of her mother, to that scene right after the max cameo when he drops furiosa off at the citedel's underground where I literally had to cover my eyes and ask my friend to say when it was done..there's an overtone of darkness that gives to the tragedy of furiosa, this child molded from pain (not to mention, again, that scene of ricktus and her as a child which to me, was the most nerve-wracking moment). fury road gives you a glimpse, but furiosa doesn't hold back.
--chris hemsworth, meanwhile, made an excellent villain. not just as an actor, but dementus as a character was fantastic. he's got lots of great lines and brings in a lot of humor - he's both deranged and erratic, while also clever and simultaneously childish, and mostly, cruel. he's wonderfully dynamic. bringing in a backstory of losing his wife/child was a great added piece to his story (I love a good backstory), and the way he takes the loss of his kid and tried to mold it around furiosa, tries to fill that empty piece inside, was a great choice in terms of their dynamic. it made him more then just a mad-man who stole a child for yuks - he had a deeper desire to tote furiosa around, almost as a security blanket in the same way the teddy bear also acts as one. his final monologue was great - the ramblings of a hateful man, but it was, in the end, what got furiosa to see past vengeance, and become better - to choose hope, and not destruction.
--anya taylor-joy did a great job I thought - while I wish furiosa had more lines, she made up for it in just the facial expressions and how full they were, really giving us a glimpse of what furiosa was feeling. even still, it would've been nice to have known what was going on in her head, or even hear her talk about her past - the green place, and then dementus, are the pure driving force of her character, yet she doesn't ever mention or grapple with her grief around these things, simply stays silent (except for the final confrontation with dementus). I would've loved maybe, if she had confided in jack, or maybe even one of the wives, to give more depth to her feelings.
--I also wish furiosa could've bonded with someone else besides jack, or at least before him. it would've been nice for to have had at least one ally, or, I dunno, a friend? like that war boy who had dwarfism - she seemed almost sad, when realizing after the battle that he was dead. instead, she's alone, but a fellow misfit friend could've been nice.
--speaking of jack, loved him! thought he was great! it's unfortunate his part was so short, would've loved delve into his background (also, I'm as gay as they come, but he's like..an objectively Good Looking Man, so well done all around).
--I was really nervous, for how they were gunna do the romance. I was against it initially, bc the great thing about fury road, was that romance was not at all forced into the narrative - you can read that between max & furiosa if you want, but for one of the very, very few times when a woman and man team up, romance wasn't forcefully wedged in, and instead they could be respected allies. so I was skeptical - and then I totally fell for them. they were so sweet! the two actors had great chemistry - their bond was just so soft. the way, after they crash and are caught by dementus, furiosa, who can barely stand, gently leans herself into jack's shoulder, sweetly muttering to each other as he leans his forehead back against hers, like 😩😩 it was so lovely, and so tragic. you could really feel the respect and care they had for each other; it was so organic, bc jack genuinely wanted to help furiosa. he respected her and asked nothing of her - he was a purely good man, and through that, furiosa was able to open up to him and trust him. it's the great curse of the mad max universe though - no romance can escape it's claws, same with how nux and one of the wives were torn apart. in my heart of hearts though, there lives a little AU fic where dementus doesn't catch them, and they make their way back to the green place and live happily ever after with a kid perhaps, and maybe, furiosa and him go back to later rescue the wives (they say, like they're not thinking of already writing that very fic...).
--one more thing about furiosa I wanted to mention, if I can call back to earlier saying how she becomes a beacon of hope for the various men that enter her life (and the women too, when you think of the wives..) - that, despite all this horror handed to her, at the very end of the rope, she gives into her hero's heart. time over, we see, even as the destruction of the wasteland chips away at her, furiosa can never quite betray her heart. she runs back to her mother even after being pushed to leave, she goes back for jack despite having the perfect escape to finally make it back home, and in the end, takes all her hurt and anger wrapped up in dementus, and turns it and him into something that can bring good into the world. it's about choosing good, above all!! a hero's heart, even in the darkest of worlds!!!
--the trailer really emphases the green place, but we only see it for like...a couple minutes? I was looking forward to more lore about it, maybe seeing some of it's inhabitants like the mothers. but furiosa is taken immediately and then her mother starts her hunt after her, and that's it. kinda a bummer.
--there's a couple inconsistencies here and there - like, when furiosa is first brought to where the wives are kept, there's gotta be about 20 women in there, roughly. but then, as she becomes a young adult, we see at the very end her approach the 5 wives from fury road (I was expecting a call-back, so loved that) and it looks like there's only them there - what happened to the rest of the women??? did they all die in childbirth?? also, when furiosa runs away and hides herself as a warboy/mechanic, how did no one know she was gone?? it seems odd, since immortan joe specifically picked her out and probably has a mental line-up of all his 'treasures', you'd think he'd notice. or how, later on, the new 'imperior' with jack looks oddly similar to that young girl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
--also, I wanna know how furiosa got away with being the only female imperior - you'd think immortan joe might snag her away instead to be a wife bc she's young and viable, or that she'd be either dismissed or preyed upon by his sons/the other men. maybe because she was partnered with jack it was easier, but that was kinda confusing.
--final thing, bc this post is already too long - my last gripe is mainly about furiosa's dynamic with immortan joe. in furiosa, her revenge is purely motivated towards dementus, but then, switching to fury road, she now holds contempt and anger towards the warlord. part of what I wanted to see in the film, was her past with immortan joe; we didn't know initially how furiosa got to the citadel, but my interpretation, was always that possibly (because she was branded with the logo on her neck) she was brought on as a wife, inevitably abused by him, and then something happened where she was no longer useful as a wife (maybe an accident that cost her her arm) but was still useful as a tool. but, immortan joe isn't really looked at in the prequel; he's here and there, but doesn't show any particular cruelty or act towards furiosa that I was expecting. that vitriol she shows in fury road, and of course, 'remember me?', makes you think there was something there to fuel furiosa's revenge. instead, nothing really occurs between them - of course, furiosa is brought on to breed him children and then is expected to do his every bidding in getting supplies, so, I think we're supposte to assume that she has seen how cruel he is up close, and so acts against him. still, I was expecting something deeper there.
all in all, I loved it and had a great time. fury road will always be one of my favourites, but this is a great addition. fury road is great on all fronts; a fascinating world, great characters, amazing action, a well-made and clearly cared for story, but the thing I love most - is that it's about hope. it's about choosing, every day, despite the horrors around you, to get up and hope for something better. to do something better, even at your own cost. it's about hope and what we mean to each other when we extend it. and I just love that so much
go see furiosa! support it! it's a great time!
#mad max#mad max fury road#mad max furiosa#furiosa a mad max saga#furiosa spoilers#furiosa a mad max saga spoilers#anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk#sorry the second part isn't properly bulleted tumblr was giving me grief about word count#no thoughts head empty only furiosa#if anyone has thoughts PLEASE add on I'd love to talk more about it#I'm already stalking the tag for ppls thoughts#apparently some people didn't like it....?#don't know what that's like get better soon I guess#not so much to the actual fans who have gripes about the story and lore and whatnot#but ppl bitching about the cgi or performances or whatever#even people shitting on the movie focusing on the principals of hope and goodness bc it's supposte to be an 'action apocalypse' movie like?#literally what is that like#that's the WHOLE FUCKING POINT BRO#THAT'S WHAT MAKES THIS SERIES SO GOOD#that and clearly a director/creator who deeply cares about the story and characters#when you care about that stuff then it usually ends up good#anyway enough blubbering#I've been yammering forever and it's late I must away to bed
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i wonder how much of richie being dismissive of carmy and claire in season 3 connects back to his marriage with tiff crumbling while he took carmy's role(as son/brother) of helping donna cope post mikey's death
#the richie mikey carmy grief triangle is just very dense#it's not really a triangle atp is it ??#the bear#i want to talk more about richie and carmy and mikey and grief lads#anyone ???#i don't get how people can't understand why richie is so mad at carmy still despite the phone apology#richie's family crumbled while he helped mikey's mom grieve#richie calling carmy donna was fucked and you can see that he knows that#but the way carmy goes on to say richie is a leach and just clinging on to them while he doesn't belong#when he totally fucking does belong!!#and then he just apologizes on the phone like 'oh yeah sorry. see ya tomorrow'#of couRse it's not resolved#i kinda love that it didn't resolve#as much as i can't wait for the blow up#i think it needed to fester#it's just delicious conflict#richie's too hurt to properly bring it up and carmy's spiralling and thinks his apology solved it#bc berzattos will be cruel to one another and then just move on
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Happy dead dad day!
#my dad died 3 years ago today#I have a lot of complicated thoughts about my dad and have spent the past year very angry at him#but i miss him so much and not a day goes by that i don't wish he was still here#part of grief is allowing yourself to feel everything you feel about the person you've lost#my dad did a lot of shitty things and let me believe horrible things about my mother for 11 years#until after he died my mom finally defended herself because she didn't want me to hate my dad while he was alive#and i don't hate him. ive never hated him#but i think back on my childhood and the trauma his untreated mental illness inflicted on all of us#that no one outside of our house knew about#he was bipolar and had DID and was probably also autistic#i was terrified of my father until i was about 16. but i love him and loved him then#the amount of shit he put us all through and especially my mother. who stayed with him because he was her soulmate and also#would likely have killed himself if she left. he threatened to kill her on multiple occasions#we weren't allowed to walk home after school even though it's only about a mile to the school from my house#i realized after he died that its because my mother did not trust him to be home alone with us for our safety#all the adults in our life thought we were just lazy fat kids who couldn't walk a mile#and i think thats the hardest#people thought so negatively about is because they didn't know what we went through on a daily basis#his own family has his memory on a pedestal when they didn't even live with him during childhood#he lived with his grandma and they all lived with their mom#and they get mad if we say ANYTHING negative about him#YOU DIDN'T KNOW HIM YOU DON'T EVEN BELIEVE HE SUFFERED FROM D.I.D. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS DIAGNOSED!#anyways rest in peace to my chevy impala that the transmission died while driving from the hospital to see him#because he was in a coma. for the 3rd time that year#dead dad club#parental loss#grief
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how would you rank the ninja from worst to best based on the ninjago seasons youve seen?
Nya and Wu are the best, everyone else is the same to me
#Conceptually. Loyd; Garmadon; and Kai are interesting.#However later seasons of Loyd and Garmadon are so. They were kinda nuked#Like what do you MEAN Garmadon wasn't capable of having compassion or caring for Loyd (crystal king part 2). Like#Garmadon loved Loyd. That was a pretty important aspect of s1-2#like hello#What#the other ninja feel kinda the same to me for the most part? Especially in dragon rising. Specifically in dragon rising.#All of their one-liners have no distinct character voice. They're interchangeable. I'm going mad#Nin//jago compels me in a ''why is this so bad'' way. Or maybe it's that Sea Nya was so good compared to everything? idk#Like why was there something like that 14ish seasons in a fairly bland show. It boggles me. I'm boggled#I actually didn't watch any other part of Seabound.#In my experience ninja//go is best experienced by watching the finale/payoff#So you can fill in the set-up in your head.#I also watched a sort of edit about nya on youtube. Which gave me more context for her character#I need to stop doing a deep dive into ninj//ago like this doesn't interest me at all. I'm losing my mind. I must ignore my dark curiosity#Of wondering ''is there anything else like sea nya'' and the answer being no#I'm crying at how bad oni Loyd was like truly#Uhhhh Cole's stuff with grief wasn't awful? Or doesn't seem to be?#just like. Serviceable I guess#I'm going to be driven mad by ninja//go this shit is just. I can't even describe how I feel rn#It's so mush. It's hollow. It has nothing I like about stories or animation in it.#And I don't mind crazy lore! I'm a kh fan! But the lack of underlying logic. It makes me feel disoriented#It's like watching natla where every new line feels like it wasn't written with the last in mind#Like I guess if people like the characters????? Like that's it that's all you have#Like THIS is the show people are talking about when they're saying something is just a ''kids show'' you know#Why am I doing this this was a show made to sell merchandise it literally does not matter#I guess since the ninj//ago fandom and the lmk fandom are so closely connected I just see stuff for these characters all the time#ninjago critical#anon#asks
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Not to be a jingfu on main, but it's so cute that Jing Yuan thought of Fu Xuan with those jelly beans
#me: the Xianzhou characters are all just coworkers#also me whenever anyone is shown to be fond and have intimate knowledge of some other character: awwww#Like Fu Xuan and Jing Yuan playing starchess and teasing each other or making a reference to things they like#or Jing Yuan talking about young Yukong#Quingque apparently disliking Fu Xuan but obviously that not being the case‚ knowing what she likes and how she thinks#Fu Xuan hiding that she has a sweet tooth but Jing Yuan and Quingque knowing it and teasing her for it#I don't know. There are a lot of instances of these small intimate details in the middle of what looks like a coworker relationship#Good coworkers‚ but coworkers nonetheless#And ironically it moves me so much? Even more so than Belobog. I've been told several times that Belobog seemed more tight. And I agree#In Belobog people were friends or family or companions but linked by something closer than mere coworkers with Wildfire#Even Sampo in the Underworld was strangely 'theirs'. He had the magenta colour of Wildfire and he was trusted to some extent#The Luofu characters don't have that. And yet the fragments of intimacy scattered through their interactions move me a lot#These are people who have known each other for centuries. Jing Yuan knows of Yukong's youth‚ its joy and grief#He knows Fu Xuan has a sweet tooth and teases her about her height. Quingque does too#Fu Xuan chastises both of them for being lazy but she knows they're smart and good at their job. She plays starchess with Jing Yuan#Quingque mocks Fu Xuan for being a workaholic but is very aware of the weight she carries both in her position and ideas about destiny#I won't mention Yanqing and Bailu because there is obviously more than a coworker bound when it comes to them#But yes I love the moments of intimate knowledge scattered through the Xianzhou‚ so telling of the fact that these people have known#each other for longer than several human lifetimes‚ and that perhaps they don't necessarily regard each other as more than their coworker#But perhaps that's enough in order for them to care. Perhaps in a lifetime over one thousand years the intimacy gained with a coworker#through several centuries is something beyond what we could understand in our decades lifespan#But also‚ perhaps‚ I don't know. Also‚ perhaps‚ the do care beyond coworkers in that strange line between work and friendship#Perhaps it's strange for Xianzhou natives to tell apart that kind of relationship after so much intimacy and knowledge through the years#And perhaps‚ once again‚ as it often happens for them‚ they think they'll always have enough time to tell; until they run out of it#They play chess together. Quingque can lose time because Fu Xuan can't stay mad if she brings her sweets. Are they just coworkers?#We play chess. I know what tea and sweets you like best. I brought them today since you would indulge me and play starchess with me#Thanks for playing with me‚ I'm running out of book puzzles. You keep divining my moves but I'll invent a fake story to distract you#Are we coworkers or something more like friends? Where is the line after so many years?#I talk too much but I love this charged nothingness haha I find it ironically so true to how many relationships in real life develop#And I find it so moving‚ that representation of this endearing smallness of everyday life. Of these small things is life made
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honestly i'm not even opposed to the idea that birdie was a messy father. like i generally see him as a very loving and decent dad with the best intentions but even i have some thoughts about parenting flaws and fuck ups he probably had and how his parenting might have impacted the boys from the limited stuff we know about his general personality and his life situation pre-flash. like yeah i think he had the best intentions, but i also think there were probably things that were harder on the hall boys than they had to be, wrt joey's disability, jimmy's mental illness and their mom not being around, because birdie didn't handle them correctly. it's just that blaming alcohol for any parenting issues he may have had with jimmy and joey is literally and canonically incorrect
#like obviously this is exacerbated heavily from him being boozed up constantly but birdie pretty clearly blames himself for things#and is VOCAL about things like worry and grief#so i can so easily see joey and jimmy being nervoud to approach birdie when joey can tell his health is going sour#or when jimmy knows he's starting to be in a really bad place mentally#and it's not because birdie is abusive or they're afraid of him or anything! they know he'd care and wouldn't be mad at them#but they're kids who care about their dad and whenever they're in a bad spot dad just Worries So Much and isn't good at hiding it#so they let things fester longer than is healthy because well. we don't wanna make dad sad :/#we don't wanna worry him more than he already worries...#like i do not think birdie was a perfect dad and his (well meaning) reactions to things probably were rough on the boys#i even have a few thoughts about him potentially being So Worried For His Boys that he had to like#step out of the room for doctor's appointments or break down when his kids really needed him to hold it together#i truly and genuinely believe that he just like... fucked up a lot even though he had good intentions#and that it did impact his kids even though birdie was a pretty Normal Dad who really loved his kids and had kids who loved him#it's just that like. alcohol genuinely canonically did not play a role and birdie seemed to care about his children deeply
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it's been a year so i feel more comfortable talking about it..
when you're atheist and you lose someone, religious people don't really know how to interact with you. it's fine, we have different worldviews.
'He's in a better place, now.'
Sorry auntie, but I don't believe that. I believe that his brain stopped working at 5h55pm on december 11th 2022, and that's it. Nothing after that.
It makes grief very difficult, because not believing in god or the afterlife also means accepting that you will never, ever see that person again. That's it. The end. Nada mas.
But, back to the aunties and other faceless people gravitating in the grey blurry waters of your awareness.
They tell you 'He's with god now' and you tell them 'Yeah I don't believe that' and.
they. get. annoyed.
Here I am, gutted open, the worst day of my life, barely holding myself together, and they! Get annoyed that I won't smile and entertain their point of view!
Another faceless person tried to heal me with cristals. She also got annoyed when I told her I didn't believe in that.
I usually don't really mind religious people. It's fine, we have different worldviews. I think I'm right but so do they. As long as they're good people, I don't judge them for their faith.
I'll even be grateful for them trying to console me. I get that you're trying to give me strength and love. Thank you.
But I'm going to be true to myself, yes even when I'm mad with shock and grief. And I still can't believe they got annoyed that I didn't play along to placate them, on the worst day of my life.
(I wanted to share because I've never heard anyone talk about atheism and grief, and the loneliness that comes out of it.)
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Sausage writes a fanfic about Martyn and Ren's endings on FantasyMC SMP
Sausage: --cause I was talking about Ren lore. And one day, y'know, Ren's gonna be online when Martyn's online. And then, he's gonna see. "Wow, you're also…a big, burly, giant, (three seconds of silence) dragonborn." I love dragons. Knights and dragons--sometimes they kill 'em--sometimes dragons get killed!--by, by knights. But I don't think Ren will kill this particular dragon. I think Ren will befriend this dragon. And what's gonna happen is gonna be stuff of legend. Ren is probably gonna ride that dragon known as 'Martyn InTheLittleWood,' into the sunset. And that's one of the last things that happens. They're gonna--Martyn's gonna regrow his dragon wings--I'm calling this lore right now--Martyn's gonna regrow his dragon wings, and he's gonna be like, "Hey. Ren. Hop on, buddy." And they're gonna sail into the sunset, almost like-uh, uh, um, almost like Gem and-and FWhip did, at the end when-when they left me behind.
Sausage: And they, and they found out Pearl was dead, and they thought that I was dead, and they left, y'know? I-I wasn't mad at them, y'know? I was technically bouncing realities in that-that realm. So they had no idea, they thought we were dead. A lot of people give them grief, that they left us, no--technically, they thought we were both dead, so they left us, uh, in peace. Uh, to live a better life, outside. But technically, y'know, I was, uh, busy, jumpin' rift-either way! Whatever, you know?
Sausage: Martyn and-and-and Ren are gonna ride into the sunset, and they're gonna go visit his other king that banished him, and they're probably gonna end up doing adventures there, and kill them. Uh,this was a fanfiction, alternate reality, by me, Mythical J. Sausage. Fanfiction writes itself.
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Light On Simon Riley/female reader (mama) & Emmaline Valentine's Day special This was heavily requested when I was still writing for these three. Light On is finished, but holidays make me sentimental. Consider this a little treat for Valentine's Day
The aquarium is a zoo.
Once, the throngs of people, masses of children and parents swirling around and screaming, running and jumping all over the place would make him uneasy, unsettle him, drive him back to his apartment, to the dark.
Once.
Now, he navigates it well. Confidently. He's here with his family, his girls. He even enjoys it, taking in all the tanks, the fish, the stingrays, the sharks, and he's proud, when Emma manages to screech out the word fish here and there, giving her positive encouragement, sliding the cloth mask down to place a quick kiss to the top of her head.
He grounds himself with one hand on the small of your back, the other pushing an empty stroller. Having you close, within arm's reach, numbs the anxiety constantly buzzing in the back of his mind, and he tucks you into his side every time you'll let him. Emmaline occasionally peers at him over your shoulder, or when he's not immediately in her line of sight, whips her head back and forth, trying to figure out where he's gone.
"'m right here." He soothes, rubbing her back. "Right here, baby girl." You roll your eyes, smile sweet for him, for her, and lean forward, smacking a big kiss on her cheek before pointing at the curved glass of the tank.
"Look, Emma!" A group of jellyfish drift weightlessly in the middle of the room, and he urges the two of you forward so she can see, unbothered by the five and six year olds that jostle one another around his legs. She shrieks with glee, giggling like mad when she smacks her hand against the glass as hard as she can, earning her an immediate, soft redirection from you.
"Gentle, baby. Gentle." Her little brow furrows, frustrated, and she bobbles in your arms, turning again to find him. He's about to reach for her, give your back a break, when she starts to babble, high pitched sounds gurgling into a jumble of words and-
"Dada." Your eyes go round. "Dadadada..."
Simon's heart breaks open inside his chest, torrent of emotion crashing over him, washing him away in the wake. A palm claps over your mouth, dropped open in shock, and he sees joy in your eyes, joy and pain, the presence of a ghost still haunting your happiness, like one haunts his.
"Here, uh." you lift her into his arms, and he stares down at her sweet, cherub face, cheeks swelling with an almost toothless smile, tiny fingers stretching for his mask.
"Dada!" He doesn't answer, his silence frustrating, and she grows more demanding, happy pitch changing into a growl of dissatisfaction. "Dada, dada!"
"Shhhh, hey. It's okay." He bounces, cuddling her close. "I'm here." You stand back, expression heavy with grief, light with happiness, and he locks eyes with you.
He doesn't need to speak, to ask.
Are you okay? Are you okay with this?
Your hands clasp together, and you nod.
After a beat, he clears his throat. "How did she..."
"I might have been calling you dada, at home, when I refer to you, you know?" You're wearing the mask of a million emotions, embarrassment and shame, sadness, and elation. They all mix together to bring more tears to your eyes, and you laugh uneasily as you wipe them. "I... I'm sorry. I don't know how to feel, about her saying it, and I didn't ask you, either. It's... it's, I,-"
"I know, sweetheart. I know. It's okay." He steps close, Emmaline chewing on the edge of his mask, burrowed in his chest. His forehead taps yours, and he closes his eyes. He doesn't know how to thank you, for this gift, this love, this life you've given him, so all he can say is the three words he says all the time, the three words he whispers into your skin at night, the three words he gives Emma when he tucks her into bed. "I love you." Your fingers hold tight to his, watery smile lighting up the entire room.
"We love you too."
#light on#peaches writes#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader
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Thinking about harbouring the most atrocious crush on him.
He's the dearest friend you've had since forever and you don't remember when or how this thing started but it hits you like a ton of bricks in the middle of the night, sitting on the kitchen counter and him making whatever shitty blend of coffee he's thought of. He's never been good at that.
Your gorgeous, gorgeous man.
Not yours. Not yours. Not yours. You chant in your head but it's a fruitless endeavor. Your foolish heart always mistakes his one act of kindness, one sweet smile, his gentle assurances, and the way he focuses his undivided attention on you, for something more. For something like... Love.
He does that for everyone! You tell your heart, but the stupid thing never listens to reason does it?
He looks at you, curiosity apparent in his eyes probably wondering what the hell is going on in your head and you realize you haven't said anything in the long while you've been admiring staring at him. And so you open your mouth to say something, God, anything at all. But then—
He tilts his head, his hair swaying with the motion and falling perfectly into place like dominoes, the action so endearing you have to catch your breath you didn't realize you'd been holding and clutch the counter in a death grip lest you do something idiotic like rush into his arms and melt in his embrace.
Gods above, how you'd love to do just that.
"Are you alright?" He asks, so kind even though you're acting quite pathetic. You're acting as if it's been 9 long years apart instead of the 9 hours you hadn't seen him. His mother really raised him to be a gentleman, you think. And a heartbreaker, you add a beat later. You can only imagine how you look to him, like a deer caught in headlights, hair, a tangled mess and—oh God you're wearing your ugliest pyjamas! You just wanted to dig a hole and lie in it for eternity.
Still he looks at you so affectionately.
He moves forward, each step feels like a hammer against your heart as he moves closer to you. You gasp, wide-eyed you look around vehemently for something to stop him. You're not prepared for this. You know the proximity, his scent engulfing your senses would turn you into a bigger fool.
But you find nothing and now he's standing so close, towering over you even with the added height of the kitchen counter. He's so ridiculously tall. He's perfect. He's within reach and your hands tremble. Every bone in your body wanted to assimilate into his.
"Why won't you look at me?" He can't be this oblivious. Surely, he must have suspected something, it's not like you're being subtle.
You breathe deeply to calm down but even that comfort is stolen from you as his scent surrounds you and diffuses into your blood and messes with your brain. As if his presence alone wasn't enough.
"Have I done something wrong? Is that why you're avoiding me?" His fingers graze your chin and you have to bite back the indecent sound you almost let out. He lifts your head and you feel the self-restraint snap inside you.
"Yes!" You yell in his face. Desperate now, you wanted to hide far, far away from him. Being around him was too dangerous. He was too dangerous.
"Oh," His tone is so despondent, your heart wrenches at the thought of him being sad because of you. His hand falls from your face and you mourn the loss, the grief buried for the time being for other important emotions. "Please tell me what I did so I can fix it right away. I can't stand the thought of you being mad at me."
You wanted to cry.
Your chest feels tight and heavy and you can't breathe properly. All you know is that you have to get out of here and now. So you say the first thought in your head then turned swiftly and ran like they were rats hot on your trail.
"Stop being so attractive!"
You know your mind will never let you live it down but you think screaming into a pillow might help.
#meliora writes#writing#your fav x reader#jjk#nanami kento x reader#getou suguru x reader#bnha#jeon jungkook x reader#shinsou hitoshi x reader#midoriya izuku x reader#todoroki shoto x reader#shouto todoroki x reader#jungkook x reader#uchiha itachi x reader#namikaze minato x reader#minato x reader#hyuuga neji x reader#jellal fernandez x reader#kita shinsuke x reader#sugawara koushi x reader#akaashi x reader#haikyuu#fairy tail#naruto#kenji sato x reader#ultraman x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#love and deepspace
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An Aegon II suggestion because I've seen you're open to them, if you don't mind. ❤️
Perhaps you could do a part 2 of the Dracarys series? I genuinely love that specific kind of trope especially with Aegon because I rarely see it with him and because the specific way in which you wrote it has something addictive to it 😭. You decide if there's smut or not or how Velaryon!(Strong)reader fares.
Thanks if you'll read it.❤️
This is super short, but thank you so much for the ask! There’s just something about this Aegon. I hope you enjoy! 🩷
Dracarys (Part 2)
Aegon ii x Velaryon(Strong)!Reader
18+ ONLY MDNI
Targcest, major character death, angst, no smut but it’s dark.
Part 1
“What did you feel before you felt nothing?” Aegon wonders, stroking a possessive hand over her dark locks.
“Fear, grief.”
“What did you feel for me?” He wonders.
“I suppose, for a moment, I was happy to see you.” She admits, because it does not matter anymore.
“And what do you feel for me now?”
If she tells him the truth of it, he may yet kill her. But is this truly living? “I hate you. I loathe you. I despise you.” How many ways can she say it? “I am sick at the sight of you.”
Aegon cackles, like a mad man, “why then, have you not killed me in my sleep? Take the crown, take it all?”
“Who says I haven’t tried?” She breathes, feeling his arms tighten around her. “Or that I won’t.”
“You are a cunning creature. An enchantress. A spider, created to trap me in your web.” He moves his lips to her ear, “if you wanted to kill me, you would have done it by now.”
Tears prickle at the backs of her eyes.
“Same as I cannot bring myself to harm you.” Aegon whispers, “I think about it.”
Y/N wills herself to remain still as his hungry eyes rake over the whole of her.
“Then somehow I never do.”
“Why do you think that is?” Y/N searches his eyes.
“Something in you is tethered to something in me. Tied together, in love and in hate. I have no way of knowing what my life will become if I cut this cord between us.” Aegon admits. “I have no desire to know.”
“I do not want to be tied together.”
“Yet here you are,” Aegon muses, “though you are not held in chains.”
“Because you are holding the only remaining member of my family under lock and key.” Y/N reminds him.
“Take your brother and go.”
“Surely another one of your traps.”
“Not a trap, but an offer. One that will not be made again.”
“Why?” Y/N demands, “why after all this would you let me leave?”
“Because you won’t. Even if you did, you would return. You have nothing left, save for me. I killed your mother, after our families killed each other and my sister killed herself; over a chair.” Aegon sneers.
Y/N’s hands ball into fists, “I hate you.”
“I know, my dearest love.” Aegon taunts, “just as our mothers before us, like Aemond and Lucerys. Even Jacaerys and sweet Helaena could not escape it. You and I were fated to dance.”
Part 3
#house of the dragon#aegon targaryen x you#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon targaryen#hotd aegon#aegon imagine#aegon targaryen fanfic
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🚨This is a Stede Bonnet season 2 appreciation post 🚨
There's not enough love for my guy Stede on my dash. Some of my favorite excellent Stede moments in season 2:
Apparently having so many dreams about Ed that his horny moaning is a major source of frustration amongst the crew
The way he kisses the bottle before tossing it into the sea still makes me fucking feral
Trying to do a little Ed voice while venting to the wanted poster and then immediately getting mad that Ricky saw him doing that ("can't a man have a little privacy?") even though he made no attempt to move out of a public area
"Sorry if that's a bit creepy-" "YOU ARE CREEPY"
Getting tf out of there when Ricky starts fooling around. Say what you want about Stede but he knows when to leave a situation
Just fucking bitching constantly while he's on Zheng Yi Sao's ship. He hates the wake up bell and he is overqualified for towels 😤
*about the wanted poster* They drew him to look like a ghoul :/
Trying to figure out Ed's location based on a map he's drawn himself and then getting confused about where Cuba is. On the map he's drawn himself
Circling "alive" on the wanted poster
The way he put his own pain and grief aside to prioritize keeping his crew safe, even when he thought some of these people who he cares about so much just killed the love of his life
The way he fondly, mournfully calls Ed a nut when he believes he is dead. The way he beats on Ed's chest to try and bring him back. The love and desperation of it all
"Don't you want your sammie?"
Continuing the trend of venting at length to anyone who asks him about how he's doing, only this time to Anne, who will weaponize this information
For what it's worth. I like your beard. the length
Describing Anne kissing him as "she jumped on my face!!!"
The way he runs in general. Limbs akimbo
His cunty little twirls in the red suit
The way you KNOW Ned Low is a dead man walking from the instant he plays with Ed's hair and insults him. Stede was never going to let him leave that ship alive
The way he immediately compliments the piece of twine Ed brought him on his breakfast tray when he realizes how much this means to Ed
Shouting "FOR LOVE" as a battle cry immediately after getting his boyfriend back
Zero hesitation when Ed asks him if he's having second thoughts about becoming inkeepers. Zero. He knows his priorities now and he knows his number one priority is Ed!
🚨 This has been a Stede Bonnet appreciation post 🚨
#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd stede bonnet#he's come so far this season and i'm so proud of him! go white boy go!
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