#it's SO good i love s3 so much but fucking hell they put that woman through the wringer and FOR WHAT

[yesokayiknow]

shaking my head while rewatching s3 so they know i don't agree with how badly martha was treated

[seredelgi]

Sweet Punishment- pt.2

fandom: Attack On Titan/ Shingeki No Kyojin

pairing: Dom!Levi Ackerman x Sub!Fem!Reader, Levi Ackerman x You

summary: After Eren gets entrusted to Levi, you have a hard time adjusting to his late shifts and his change of behavior. You miss his touch and you miss the sex, but you want to be a good girl for him, so you try your hardest to repress your urges, until he busts you.

rating: Mature, 18+

warnings: dom!levi, dom!levi, sub!reader, smut, sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (don't try it at home lol), penetration, vulgar language, brief choking, degradation, dry humping (even though it's not very dry, if u know what i mean), praise kink, just a tiny bit, spit kink, I'm so sorry, but he turns me insane NO SPOILERS

word count: 3.5 k

a/n: ok so this was born bc I'm so not done with this man, and also I had a need to depict smut with him in that freaking white tee he's got on in s3 so yeah, enjoy.

Part 1

He’s been so stressed out lately. Things have changed a lot since Eren has turned out to be a Titan Shifter and has been entrusted to him. Levi comes back home so much later, so much more tired than he used to. You miss him like crazy, but you don’t wanna be a burden, too. He’s got so much in his mind, the last thing he needs is you acting like a baby and demanding more time from him.

This is what you get for being a soldier’s woman, after all. You knew this was part of it, you were already lucky enough to be with him regardless of his position. When you two met years ago he was cold, he was indifferent. It took months for him to admit that it was a facade, put up so that he wouldn’t get too attached. He ended up catching feelings anyway, and at that point, it was “better to keep you close and be able to protect you”- in his own words.

He likes his job. You know it and try to respect it, but you feel him slipping away recently, you feel him so distant and you really need him to make you feel loved. You miss his touch, his kisses, you miss being fucked. It’s been a while since you two last had sex, and being that the last time you tried to pleasure yourself you got taught a lesson, you were practically abstinent in every way. You spent endless days thinking about him, and you dreamed about sex practically every night.

But you can’t think to burden him with your flimsy desires when he’s got the fate of your people dawning down on his shoulders.

When he opens the door of the room that late evening he looks no different than he has in the last few weeks: cold, distant, absolutely worn out. He’s just got out of the shower, and he’s got that long-sleeved white t-shirt on that you love so much, but his black uniform trousers remind you that right now he doesn’t belong to you. You can see it in his eyes, two dark slits, probably still reliving the events of that day.

You’re on your bed, reading a new book as you wait for the oven alarm to go off. You’re starving, and by the looks of it, he is too.

He drags himself onto the bed, and you take a look at him while he takes hold of your book by the spine and closes it shut with one hand, putting it aside and crawling lazily on top of you, his face cradled in the curve of your neck, he huffs softly upon your skin.

It’s been a while since he’s dared to be this intimate with you, and even before that, he’s never allowed that to himself very often, always keeping everything inside, never asking for much. That’s what drove you to shut the hell up about your needs, you didn’t want him to think you’re weak.

You’re caught off guard by this sudden closeness, and you hum quietly into the silence that’s comfortingly surrounding you two right now. Your heart starts to pound a bit faster, but as he sweeps his hands underneath your shoulders to keep you closer you start to relax into his embrace. Who knows how long it’s gonna last, you better enjoy it.

You feel him breathe in your scent, and the kind of noise that he lets go after that takes your breath away and has your thighs squeeze together.

Keep it together, he’s just freaking tired.

“ You smell amazing” he purrs on your warm skin, sending shivers running down your spine as his fingers press ever so tenderly into your delicate flesh.

You chuckle nervously as you try not to focus on how low and husky his voice sounds right now, on how you can feel it reverberate from his chest through yours. He’s so warm, and that fucking white tee he’s got on is just too comfy not to feel the need to hold onto it desperately as you try to refrain from letting you get carried away with all of this.

“ You smell like you had to bark orders all day” you retort, keeping the conversation light even while you know the scent he’s emanating right now is enough to drive you wild.

“ Mhmm” he softly asserts, and his voice is so quiet that you think he’s probably dozing off, before you feel his delicate kiss pressing down on your shoulder, and you open your eyes wide.

It’s a chaste kiss, soft and gentle, and yet it gets your insides in a twirl to feel him press his lips on you while you’re wrapped against his body.

You hadn’t quite grasped how starved you were for him before realizing that one little kiss was enough to set your skin ablaze and have the cozy warmth in your lower abdomen starting to spread. It has never been that fast for you, never that immediate. You usually need some time to get in the right mood or some warming up to get ready. But right now you’re burning hot and desperate for him to keep touching and kissing you like that.

You can’t say that out loud tho, can’t be the whiny little girl that cries for attention as soon as she stops receiving it for a moment too long.

It doesn’t really matter tho, because just as his fingers press harder into your flesh he leaves another quiet kiss on it, and this time you can’t help but audibly moan, the sudden break of that cage of silence so unnerving that you bite your bottom lip, harshly dipping your teeth down on it as some sort of punishment for caving in so easily.

He pops his head up slowly, a kind of stunned expression painting his beautiful features. You feel your cheeks start to warm up underneath his scrutiny, his eyes finding yours big and full of lust.

“ You like this” he states.

You can’t tell if he’s amused by it. A few weeks prior you would’ve been sure that having you being ready for him so easily would’ve sent a proud spark glinting in his eyes, but right now his expression is as cold as it’s been all these past days spent longing for him, and you’re quite sure he must be kind of disappointed.

You shake your head no tentatively, wondering if you could ever look remotely believable as you find yourself hoping for.

His eyes narrow down on your features, on the crimson red of your cheeks, and your heavy breathing. Yeah, Levi might be tired, but he’s certainly not stupid.

He props up on his left hand anyway, letting his right one slowly slide underneath the sheer fabric of your sundress, along the length of your thigh, eliciting another soft whimper from you, and you feel so ashamed that you cover your mouth with your arm, your eyes languid with denial.

“ Then why you mewling like a cat in heat?” he sounds so stern that he almost feels displeased with you, and it kind of hurts to hear him talk to you like that.

Still, you feel the disconcerting need to be strong for him, to be good.

“ I’m just-” you pant, regaining focus, even though all that you really want is for his hand to travel further up your thigh “ a bit sensitive, must be the cycle”

You’re lying. You’re probably in the least fertile phase of it, but you can’t help it, you miss him too much, and having been forbidden to touch yourself, it’s been torture to resist the urges.

You doubt he’s bought it, yet his face is an inscrutable mask right now, and he looks down at you for a few more instants before he suddenly gets a hold of your wrists, pinning them down the mattress without much effort as you catch your breath.

He stares you down as if you were his prey, and honestly, too dizzy with arousal, too scared of letting him know the shameful truth of it, you’re less and less able to decipher his emotions, and somehow this only feeds your desire.

“ Spread your legs for me, then” he orders.

You hate to disobey him, but you’re too embarrassed of yourself to give him access to your sweet spot right now since you're sure he’s gonna find it already covered in your juices.

A glint of annoyance darkens his irises when you fail to comply. He huffs, his right knee slipping abruptly in between yours two, having you divaricating your legs wide within a few rough movements.

You muffle a protest, but it dies in your throat immediately as one of his hands lets go of your wrist and heads south, escaping underneath the skirt of your dress and reaching for your baby pink panties, feeling you out roughly through its fabric, finding it drenched.

“ Fuck-” his voice sounds hoarse from the shock of finding you like that already “ You’ve made a fucking mess”

You let out a quiet sob as you appraise his reaction, covering your eyes with the hand of yours he hasn’t gotten pinned down on the mattress anymore.

“ I’m sorry” you let out a shaky breath, unable to keep it all in any longer “ I’m sorry Levi, I just miss you so much”

You’ve held onto all that for weeks as he’s been burdening himself with who knows how much, and now it’s enough for him to touch you through your underwear to have you crumble like that. It’s kind of pathetic.

He stays quiet for a while, and you can only wonder what his face looks like as you keep your eyes shut against the back of your hand, not ready to see his harsh judgment of your weakness.

Then you feel his grip on your wrist loosen, and all his coldness and forcefulness melt into tender little kisses that he leaves down your neck as he reaches for your ear. He looks for your hand, sliding his fingers across the length of your arm and intertwining them with your own.

He uncovers your face to look at you, his expression still stern, but it doesn’t quite look like he’s judging you, more so than himself. You can see the cloud of guilt thundering in his eyes.

His lips are just a breath away from yours when he whispers down upon you:

“ Don’t cry” his tone is definitive, something like that, even if incredibly sweet, when said by him sounds like a precise instruction.

You sniff softly one last time before his lips press tenderly against yours.

He starts kissing you slowly, experimentally, giving you all the time you need to adjust from the previous harshness that he had addressed you to the sweetness that he’s promising you now. And even if reticent at first, you gradually start to melt against him, the feeling of his tongue slipping past your lips a welcomed revelation, one that you feel like saluting by filling his mouth with moans as he sets gently between your legs, his hardness aching against your core.

Gosh, you’ve missed this. You love the taste of him in your mouth so much that it’s almost exhilarating, the way he deepens the kiss at every little whimper you let out, the way your lips are glossy with his saliva when you part to catch your breath and ghost a little impulsive smile on his face.

You can’t help it now, you’re too high on the kiss he’s granted you, and you let your hips lounge up towards his, rutting softly against his erection, your fingers twisting in his locks, and you feel a blissful shiver cover you whole as he breaks the kiss to groan on your parted lips.

You want him so bad you feel like you’re losing control, and you love when he can’t help but be vocal about his arousal, so you’re compelled to continue grinding against him rhythmically, having him elicit all kinds of delicious noises on top of you as he kisses your lips with increasing passion.

Suddenly his right hand is at the base of your scalp, tugging harshly at your hair to have your head lean back enough to give himself better access to your exposed neck.

“ So fucking desperate ” he pants upon your skin “ how long have you been like this?”

“ Too long” you whine as you feel his lips tauntingly ghost above all the sensitive spots he knows so well, biting you tenderly at first, then starting to suck on your skin with euphoric compulsion. It’s the kind of sweet agony that has you sigh ecstatically and arch your back in response, the satisfaction of feeling his mark being imprinted upon you one that you find hard to rival.

When he’s done he leaves your neck pulsing in delight, and he starts grinding against you fiercely as his forehead comes to rest against yours.

“ Been waiting for me to set you free, huh?”

You nod faintly at that, eyes fluttering underneath the weight of your thriving desire, and you kiss his humid lips before looking for the zip of his black trousers, tired of having all those layers interpose between your sexes. You wanna feel his throbbing skin against your hole, wanna hear your juices mix as he rides you.

“ Such a good girl” he praises you, and that’s just too much.

As soon as his cock’s free of his boxers you press him down against you with a tug, his nakedness clashing down the wetness of your panties. He grunts, closing his eyes, reveling in the feeling of your drenched underwear starting to surround his hotness. The simple shift of pressure makes you roll your eyes, and he reaches for your jaw with his right hand to press his thumb on your lips, silently demanding access to your mouth. You open it up right away, and he slips inside, letting you suck on his finger once and then brushing your bottom lip downwards with it, keeping your mouth open beneath him.

“ Wider” he commands, and it’s so clear by the tone of his voice that he’s used to imparting orders, so confident in expecting them to be followed. And you sure as hell don’t wanna disappoint him.

So you open your mouth wider for him, sticking your tongue out as he continues riding you, your juices starting to soak your panties, creating enough lubrification for you to start getting extremely close to your relief.

“ My good girl” he hums quietly, and seeing him genuinely pleased with you puts your mind at ease. You don’t know exactly when it started, but you’d comply with anything he asks of you just so that he’ll utter those quiet little praises to you.

He spits in your mouth, and you’re honestly taken aback for a split second. You wouldn’t expect someone as composed as him to do something so raw just like that. But as soon as you feel the warm liquid on your tongue you’re quick to swallow what you manage, driven by your desire to make him proud. Some of it is still drooling down your bottom lip tho, and his eyes shimmer down on it, relishing in the sight of you, broken by the growing pleasure, completely at his mercy.

“ Fuck- You’re too hot like that” he breaths down upon you as he reaches between you two, looking for the spot where your panties are becoming so damn wet that you should probably feel embarrassed, but you’re way past that. Especially when you feel his erratic movements finally setting your pussy free, moving the fabric that was still covering it to the side just enough that you can feel the tip of his cock pressing against your entrance, hot and covered in pre-cum.

“ Ah-” you cry as you feel him finally pushing against your hole, every nerve ending of yours waiting for him to pierce through you and finally take you.

He slides inside of you with a gentleness that almost kills you, and you can quite literally feel every inch of his length fill your soaked pussy up like you’ve been dreaming about for days. You wanna feel him pick up the pace and quite simply ruin your cunt for good, but all it takes is one thrust of his inside of you, a simple gentle rub of his pelvis against your clit to bring you over the edge.

You start shuddering frantically against him, gripping at his shirt and crying his name so loud that you’re sure the walls could be shaking from it. You kiss his neck through your high, needing to feel him hiss against your ear in response, to bask in his scent, and to feel the flex of his muscles against your hot lips.

“ What's th- fucking 'cumming already?” he lets out, his voice broken by the shock of your pre-empted release “ my God, you're pathetic"

You nod dully, rolling your eyes as little jolts of pleasure unleash throughout your whole body, having you spasming silently against his torso as he picks up the pace, driven mad by the unexpected hunger that your orgasm has unleashed within him.

He’s thrusting so deep inside of you that you feel like he could break you in half, and yet you can’t stop moaning, can’t stop telling him how damn good he’s making you feel.

“ You’re so good at taking it-fuck” he resumes kissing your neck and biting you hard, leaving you sore and aching for more “ you’re made for this, made for me”

The idea has you rejoice, a proud kind of sentiment starting to engulf you as he smacks harder against your cervix, hitting that spot that has you babbling incoherently underneath his weight.

All that you’re feeling is thanks to your patience, you’ve been good and waited for him, and you’d do it for years if it meant being fucked like this was the prize.

You can’t help but nod, your head bobbing up and down under the heel of the merciless pace he’s been keeping up so steadily. You can practically feel every ounce of the frustration he’s held within him in the past few days being reversed in each thrust of his, in every grunt and spasm of his muscles as he pounds into you, and you’re so glad to be the one he vents upon.

You can feel him getting closer. He’s frantic, panting down on you, shoving inside of you with such force that you can’t even think straight anymore, the feeling of your aching pussy squeezing his cock inside of you the only thing you can focus on.

He rises above you to be able to get a hold of your neck, tightening his hand around your throat to make you look at him. You can’t think about what you may look like right now as you stare back into those dark grey irises you love so much. It’s too fucking embarrassing what this man is capable of reducing you to.

“ I’m gonna ‘cum inside of you”

It’s not a warning, it’s a statement.

You shift your weight back slightly to be able to open your legs wider as a reflex, eager to feel him finally releasing into you, but he grips your hips and dips his fingers harder into you, almost bruising your skin in the act.

“ Don’t- fuck, don’t move” he demands.

You don’t need to be told twice, so you stay put, looking up at him and contemplating the sight.

You love seeing him like this, sweaty and broken by pleasure, strands of soft raven hair cascading down his forehead, his shirt revealing just the faintest little hint of his muscles flexing underneath its clean fabric.

But his eyes are what you love the most, the kind of glare that can go from pure sweetness to downright threatening in a matter of seconds. Dark and dangerous.

You see them faltering before you hear his groans swamp the room and his warm seed spring into you, filling you up like you’ve longed so bad for these past few weeks, finally getting the love you were so badly burning for.

He crushes down upon you, a sudden need to feel you as close as possible, to have you press your usual gentle kisses across his face, on his lips, all while he holds you close and slowly regains his breath and usual composure.

When he slips out of you you feel your legs shake a little and you know you’ll need a full night of rest to recover from what he’s done to you, but it doesn’t really matter, ‘cause it was worth it.

He collapses aside from you, taking hold of your wrist and tugging you along to rest on top of him without saying a word. You chuckle faintly against his neck, not able to resist relishing this intimate feeling. You’ve finally got him all for yourself.

Until you hear the oven alarm go off.

[warsamongthestars]

Emerie was (one of many) wasted original characters for TBBshow, y'know?

Like...

... I don't feel for her. Yeah, it seems like she's set up to be Omega's parallel, and yeah, there was lead up to her declaration of being a clone (more so than whatever fucking lead up S1 had for its finale).

But uh...

What, exactly, is special about her as a character?

Significant personality? No. Even TBBshow's variant of the BBs had Personality for Days. She's got the Overlogical Persona, and only when the Camera was on her for an episode did she decide that she needed the morals of Omega... Frankly, she would've done better being kept an antagonist. ... Hemlock has personality, Rampart has Personality--though I'd argue that they both have the SAME Personality, just in Different Roles (Talk about copypasting your own stuff). ... Infact, she's practically a Tech Copy, that's how little personality they bothered to give her.

Aesthetic? Pff. No. She's caught the Star Wars (and let's face it, most Sci-fantasy shows, video games, media, most of the action genre... most of the adventure genre... you fuckin name it) "Pretty Woman Disease". She's meant to look sexy with very minimum masculine traits. ... Which means she's dull as hell to look at, because there's nothing to catch the eye beyond Barbie Doll. Personally, if I want a barbie doll character, I can just go out and buy Barbie. She's got no freckles, no scars, no significant body phenotype, she only partially looks like a clone (and frankly if they had given her more of a Fett Clone appearance, so like muscles and tallness and strong jaw, that would've given her a damn good eye-catching appearance. ) ( Plus, I like a lady who looks like she can turn my spine into a pretzel. ) She's got no significant armor (Personally I would've loved if she was CX02, because that would've given her Something. )

Her name is Mando'a. "Emuurir'Kar" probably means "Joy" (Emuurir means Enjoyment so...) Which, is a start... But uh, name how many old OCs we all have out there, whose names ended up being Nightshade or Twilight or Rei. You can have a good name, but if there's nothing to back it up... well, its just a title.

I don't see any fanart running around about her... Do you? No fan headcannons, no significant fanfics... That pretty much tells us how the audience thought of her. Which means, it Didn't. Even my headcanons don't really include her, because she's just, not, impactful. At all.

Plot Impact? None that couldn't be done by anyone else. Which isn't just her fault, its one of the many faults of the show itself.

She's just... Not.

Now.

How would I fix her, with the TBBshow plot as it stands?

Easy.

First Draft... Replace Hemlock with Emerie. Make her the fifth enhanced clone, and the missing CT-9902, and make her the CX-02 clone. She didn't just serve the Empire, she served the Republic doing the same thing. She's named joy both out of irony and out of the fact that she "does her duty with fulfillment".

She stayed as Nala Se's former assistant, but when the opportunity came to become the master, she took it. She was the head of project Necromancer, up until Hunter put a spear into her gut.

This Emerie gets S1 foreshadowing with the dead and experimentation on clones.

The mention of the fifth enhanced clone gets small beats of silent drama, which will tell the audience that meeting this character would not be a good thing.

Second Draft. Emerie is an entirely new character placement, and actually gets placed on Crosshair's elite squad in S1. He has no idea who the fuck this is, as they never sleep in the same quarters.

She has the same armor type, though not coloring, as CX-02.

Come S1 Finale, she picks Crosshair up from the platform, and finally removes her helmet, showing her off to be a Lady and a Medic.

S2, they're kept apart, until the end, where Emerie shows how tired she is of serving the "greater good", and being the Medic in a meta-narrative sense, allows her to save Tech as well.

S3, and the Bad Batch are eventually united by the end as a complete Squad.

Third Draft She's actually been with Clone Force 99 all along, but has to stay on Kamino for half the missions because she's Nala Se's main assistant. This would go on to be the reason why she wouldn't have appeared in TCWshow during main scenes with Nala Se (such as the Conspiracy Arc), but also why she wouldn't have appeared on Anaxes.

And she just follows the adventures as a brand new character, with her own set of armor and abilities.

As for personality quirks... Think, exaggerated Mad Scientist with Supervillian attachment--after all, she's been around too many Kaminonians, but she's also apart of the Super Duper Awesome Squad. You think, at first, she's going to be like Tech... but instead she's more emotive, more prone to supervillian-like behavior (maniacal laughter, dramatic scenes, chewing the scenary), sometimes even overhonesty. She's the Stan to Tech's Ford, the Doofensmirtz's to Hunter's platypus, the giggly bitch to Wrecker's rambunctious laughter. She absolutely delights in small torments, (provided it doesn't actually hurt anyone--she is still a medic after all), and she has a loud aggravated sigh when she isn't allowed to handle the rocket launcher.

( ... I may or may not have thought about this a bit. )

She's only called Emerie by the RCs because she once had a mission with Boss's crew.

What her new name would be, I have no fuckin idea, but it will not be Patches. (I have run into too many medic OCs called Patches, Patches is a dull name now to me. )

Anyway.

I don't like how TBBshow handles Emerie Karr. Frankly, its also pretty indicative on how Star Wars, post OG, handles a lot of its women characters... But my rage is pretty centered on TBBshow right now.

So, Emerie.

[south-park-polls]

South Park Song Tournament: Round 2!

[make sure to follow @votemattrey for more south park related polls!]

Thank you all so much for the engagement you've shown with round one of my tournament! Round 2 will begin tomorrow!

The songs still in the tournament are as follows:

South Park Theme Song

I'm Gonna Make Love to You, Woman - Cartman Gets an Anal Probe (S1 E1)

The Lonely Jew on Christmas - Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo (S1 E9)

Chocolate Salty Balls - Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls (S2 E9)

Underpants Gnomes Work Song - Gnomes (S2 E17)

I Hate You Guys - Jakovasaurs (S3 E4)

Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Carol of the Bells - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Christmas Time in Hell - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Merry Fucking Christmas - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

O Holy Night - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Fingerbang - Something You Can Do With Your Finger (S4 E8)

Wendy's Audition Song - Something You Can Do With Your Finger (S4 E8)

It's Butters! - Butters' Very Own Episode (S5 E14)

Montage - Asspen (S6 E2)

Sea People and Me - The Simpsons Already Did It (S6 E7)

The Ballad of Lemmiwinks - The Death Camp of Tolerance (S6 E14)

Bleeding Heart Rock Protest Song vs. Pro War Country Song - I'm a Little Bit Country (S7 E4)

Taco Flavoured Kisses - Fat Butt and Pancake Head (S7 E5)

Faith + 1 Album - Christian Rock Hard (S7 E9)

Casa Bonita - Casa Bonita (S7 E11)

French Canada - It's Christmas in Canada (S7 E15)

Let's Fighting Love - Good Times with Weapons (S8 E1)

My Robot Friend - AWESOM-O (S8 E5)

I've Got Some Apples - Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset (S8 E12)

Make It Right - The Death of Eric Cartman (S9 E6)

Love Lost Long Ago - Follow That Egg! (S9 E10)

We Can Live Together - Ginger Kids (S9 E11)

I am the Dawg - Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy (S10 E10)

California Loves the Homeless - Night of the Living Homeless (S11 E7)

Imagination Song - Imaginationland (S11 E10-12)

Canada on Strike - Canada on Strike (S12 E4)

Super Fun Time - Super Fun Time (S12 E7)

You Gotta Do What You Wanna Do - Elementary School Musical

Gay Fish - Fishsticks (S13 E5)

Poker Face - Whale Whores (S13 E11)

Minorities at my Water Park - Pee (S13 E14)

You and Cthulhu - Mysterion Rises (S14 E12)

Work Mexican Work - The Last of the Meheecans (S15 E9)

I'm Not the Poorest Kid in School - The Poor Kid (S15 E4)

Make Bullying Kill Itself - Butterballs (S16 E5)

Jackin' it in San Diego - Butterballs (S16 E5)

I Swear - Cartman Finds Love (S16 E7)

Princess Kenny Theme - A Song of Ass and Fire (S17 E8)

My Bitch Ain't No Hobbit - The Hobbit (S17 E10)

Push (Feeling Good on a Wednesday) - The Cissy (S18 E3)

The Tale of Craig's Mom's Bush - The Magic Bush (S18 E5)

The Yelper Special (Boogers and Cum) - You're Not Yelping (S19 E4)

The Ballad of Tweek and Craig - Tweek x Craig (S19 E6)

Put It Down - Put It Down (S21 E2)

I Love You Social Distancing - The Pandemic Special

Mountain Town - South Park: Biggger, Longer & Uncut

Uncle Fucka - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

It's Easy Mmkay - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Blame Canada - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Kyle's Mom's a Bitch - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

What Would Brian Boitano Do - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Up There - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

La Resistance - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

I Can Change - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

I'm Super - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

We Missed You Randy - South Park: The Streaming Wars

I Got Cred, Bitches - South Park (Not Suitable For Children)

[etoilesombre]

for your wip tag game, love to hear more about "swimming"!

this was something i started for an event a couple years ago but ended up doing a different prompt, and never picked this back up. but the prompt was basically 'swimming lessons for Silver to learn to swim again after he loses his leg, with either Flint, Madi or both.' i went ot3

ok this is a stupid long excerpt, but the fic will probably never get posted so might as well put it here. wow, i was really just kind of vibing with this concept.

[context: basically they are all drinking and hanging out in maroon village one night during s3-4 break, and silver makes a self-deprecating comment about not being able to swim and flint is like 'that's silly of course you can, we'll try it sometime' and tipsy imperious queen madi goes 'why not now?' and takes them night swimming] [madi and flint are already doing better with each other, don't ask questions this is happy verse]

“This is a good place,” Madi says. “Shallow here, and by the rocks, but it’s deep enough to swim properly nearer the cliffs.” 

Flint has come this far, but now he feels flustered, awkward as a school boy. He’s not going to go *swimming* with them, it's a stupid idea. Why did he come? 

Although the water does look appealing. In truth he loves to swim: the solitary rhythm of it, the power of the sea, exhausting himself until returning to the ship is a challenge that demands everything of him and leaves no room for thought. 

But this is different. 

Silver looks between them expectantly. Flint thinks he doesn’t feel quite comfortable with this, either, but clearly he would follow Madi to the ends of the earth, so he awaits her signal. 

She kisses Silver on the cheek, takes a drink, and hands him the wineskin. Then she undoes her belt and pulls her shirt out of the loose, flowing trousers she wears, and Flint doesn’t know what he thought was going to happen---he’d been trying desperately not to think of this part---but he didn’t truly expect that she would calmly undress in front of them both. 

“Now, wait a minute…” 

“Don’t worry, Captain, your precious British modesty is not in danger.” She’s teasing, but he wonders if she knows him enough yet to realize the depth of the challenge there, and suspects she might. “When it is your turn to undress, I shall avert my eyes until you are in the water.” 

Silver, goddamn him, is *giggling.* Certainly he doesn’t seem protective of Madi, which stings a bit. Flint isn’t sure he wants to be quite *that* unthreatening, though he does value the implicit trust. 

“This… is not what I was expecting from the evening,” Silver breathes, appreciative, as Madi’s garments fall away one by one, then seems to remember that he probably shouldn’t be watching so blatantly. He helps himself to a healthy swallow of the wine and hands it to Flint, who takes an even longer pull because fuck, he needs it. 

“Nor I. She’s not an easy woman to refuse, is she?” 

“I can hear you, you know,” Madi says cheerfully, stepping out of the rest of her clothing. She is turned mostly toward the water, revealing the graceful curve of her back and hip, and she casts a look back over her shoulder directly at Flint. “What I am about to do, do not attempt it. I know where it is safe. I will meet you.” 

Flint watches in disbelief as she saunters off to the cliff face and begins to climb lithely up. He has an urge to shout at her to stop; doesn’t she know that drinking and climbing waterfalls is a good way to get killed? He’s lost men to this kind of stupidity and she doesn’t need to show off. 

Hell, when had he become a clucking mother hen? He forces a deep breath and watches the bunch and pull of her muscles, much stronger than he’d realized, appreciates the economy with which she moves.  

“Goddamn,” breathes Silver next to him, face full of awe, and of course it isn’t Flint she’s trying to impress. She stands poised at the top of the cliff for a long moment, then, without warning, she dives. They both gasp. It’s not really that high, perhaps twenty feet, but for an instant she is perfectly suspended in the air and she looks like a bird in flight, arms outstretched, silhouetted against the sky. Then she turns her body gracefully in the air, brings her hands together above her and slips head first into the water with barely a splash. 

There is a moment of absolute stillness. Then she breaks the surface, laughing. “Come on then!” she calls. Silver moves first, removing clothing without further hesitation, and Flint sees no choice but to do the same. They don’t look at each other. At least, he very studiously does not look at Silver, and it's only from a corner of his eye that he sees Silver strip completely, as Madi did. He’d thought they could at least keep the dignity of their undergarments, but Silver is giddy and unthinking, naturally eager to be naked with his lover, and Flint refuses to be the prude in this situation, so he lays his clothes aside. 

In fact, he is so determined not to look at Silver, not even to *think* of looking at the newly bared expanses of his skin, that it takes him some time to notice that Silver has sunk to the soft bank, all happiness drained from his face. He has removed the peg from his left leg and is staring into the middle distance, coming to terms with his own set of inconvenient realities. 

It makes Flint’s heart ache, and without further thought he goes to where Silver sits and offers him a hand, because Silver will sit there all night rather than ask. Flint’s limbs are still loose and heavy with the wine, his thoughts syrupy slow, or else he probably would have hesitated a great deal more before putting his exposed prick at the same level as Silver’s face. As it is, he doesn’t see the tableau they create until it's too late, and then he can’t *stop* seeing it. He is not, thank God, fully hard, but he’s not exactly soft either; this evening has been full of suggestiveness to which he is not immune, and Silver is sitting so close before him, it would be so easy for Flint to bury a hand in his curls and guide his mouth forward… *fuck*. 

“Come on, up,” he says gruffly, like he would if they were training and he’s once again knocked Silver on his ass. That snaps Silver out of his reverie; he clasps Flint’s forearm and allows himself to be pulled to his feet, thankfully without looking at him too closely first. He wavers a bit, then throws an arm over Flint’s shoulders and allows himself to be helped out into the placid water. 

It truly is a perfect spot, the water barely cool against Flint’s skin, the gradually sloping bottom made of soft white sand, and he tries to focus on the way it yields beneath their steps, on the shine of the moon, the distant rolling of waves from the ocean, on anything other than the weight of Silver’s arm around him, the nearness of him. The way they’re carefully not looking at each other. They’ve lived together for months now, seen each other undressed from time to time, and it hasn’t been a problem. Perhaps Flint has glanced, but he has discipline. And it has been incidental, momentary, nothing like the intimacy of supporting Silver’s weight as they make their way deeper, feeling the tickle of long black hair on his own shoulder, smelling Silver’s scent, the salt of sweat and something sharp and wild beneath it, which he would be able to tell apart from a hundred other men. His pulse quickens. 

This is hell. 

He is almost able to resist, but when they are thigh deep in the water he forgets himself and steals a glance. Silver’s cock hangs heavy between his legs, also half full. Flint has known Silver is a well-made man, but to see something of the extent of it, of what it would be like to— He swallows hard and quickly looks away. Silver’s attention is, unsurprisingly, focused elsewhere. Flint follows his gaze.

Madi, true to her word, is ignoring them entirely, cavorting under the waterfall like a proper nymph. She stands on a little rock ledge behind the fall, letting it obscure her like a veil, then dives through it into the deep pool before climbing back up. Sometimes she swims to the bottom, as if fetching treasures. 

It’s jarring to see her like this. It's true that the Maroons don’t seem to particularly value concealment of the body; it’s perfectly common to see women with their breasts exposed, and in some of the ritual dances, men, heavily painted, appear with their genitals uncovered. Which Flint has paid no mind. It only means that this isn’t necessarily significant; people have their different customs and there’s nothing untoward here, it is only being so shaped by the conditions of his own repressive nation which makes it seem so to him. 

Except Madi is not unfamiliar with their customs. She knows exactly the significance of what she is doing. Had they been alone, it would have been either a seduction or a strange play for power. But her lover is here, and Flint can’t figure out what she’s trying to accomplish. 

He’s not ready to let himself consider the obvious. He wants it to be true too badly, and doesn’t trust his muddled mind to read the situation correctly. 

Maybe she’s merely young and drunk, and wanted to go swimming. 

The water is to their waists now, a bit above. He extricates himself from under Silver’s arm, though he still holds on to it, steadying him. Silver looks at him for the first time in what feels like forever, and his wide eyes are so full of tender, fledgling hope. There is no color in the darkness, but he knows the exact shade of blue they’d be, paints it over them in his mind. 

“Will it really work?” Silver asks, and he’s never sounded so vulnerable. 

“Course it will. It's mostly saltwater, you couldn’t sink if you tried.” 

Unbidden, Flint remembers sinking. He’s never told Silver, but he was still conscious when he fell. Conscious enough to know that, shot and beaten as he was, to stand a chance of reaching the surface he would need to struggle out of his heavy boots and coat at least, and then remembers seeing an empty bay where the *Urca* should have been, and realizing he had killed Gates for nothing. Conscious enough to let himself sink instead of fighting. He remembers feeling hands on him, pulling him up before everything went dark. 

“You’ve got nothing to worry about. Trust me.” He squeezes Silver’s arm, then lets go. 

Silver wavers, manages an awkward hop or two, and then plunges forward. Instinctively he steadies himself with his arms so that although it’s shallow he is half treading water; he founders only for a moment, and then he discovers the trick of propelling himself forward, slicing through the water with his arms and pushing his foot off of the bottom. 

In moments he has made his way to deeper water, and when he regains his footing it rises partway up his smooth chest, lapping at him just under where dark nipples are pebbled. He can stand easily now, the water balancing and supporting him. He tests his newfound abilities, moving a few easy, floating steps, and a broad smile spreads across his face. It's like watching the breaking of dawn, or the sun emerging after a long and terrible storm. 

“Captain! I--- I can…” Silver dives under the water and surfaces laughing and full of wonder, rediscovering his former grace.  He’s only a few paces from Flint, close enough to see that he’s almost vibrating with excitement. “It’s so *easy.*”

There’s a breathless moment between them, a moment when recklessly he imagines Silver will embrace him, but neither of them moves.

“I know,” Flint says softly. “I should have thought of it.” He’s glad for the darkness, hopes it will conceal the tears pricking at the back of his eyes. He aches with all of the things he should have done for Silver, should have considered, should have given him in return for his terrible sacrifice. His eyes cut to Madi, who in the short weeks of their acquaintance has shown Silver more of love and joy than Flint has known in years. She’s lounging on a rock shelf a few feet above the deep pool, watching with an almost proprietary air of approval. 

Silver follows his gaze and brightens even further. 

Madi dives back in and swims to them without breaking the surface, popping up just in front of Silver. 

“Madi!” he cries and picks her up, delighted, and tries to spin with her, but her added weight changes his balance in the water and they topple sideways, splashing under the surface, only to emerge laughing and sputtering. Madi shrieks in feigned reproach and Silver catches her in a firm embrace. It's like watching the play of puppies. 

Until it isn’t. Until she takes hold of Silver’s face and stretches up to kiss him, and his hands slide down her back, out of sight under the water. They shimmer in the moonlight, pale against dark, her delicate form pulled flush to his broad, muscled one, a perfect image of lovers from the dawn of time 

The kiss deepens, and Flint turns away. He shouldn’t be here, is intruding and doesn’t want to be able to picture what he can’t have. Silver seems to realize it at the same time, breaking away from Madi and speaking to her softly, casting a sidelong look in Flint’s direction. Flint tries to act as though he finds the view of the jungle enthralling.

“I don’t think your Captain objects,” Madi says, her voice pitched to carry. Her eyes find Flint’s and hold them, as if they share a secret. Her words are heavy with implication. “You don’t object, do you Captain?” 

Fuck. She knows. 

The weight of the realization descends on him, the danger, and he can’t force enough air into his lungs; he’s been trapped into this and will be exposed for exactly what he is because *she knows.* “I--- I don’t know what---” He stammers foolishly. 

Silver is just looking back and forth between the two of them, bemused, his hand still resting on the curve of Madi’s spine. 

“Answer me,” she says in the affected, imperious tone she has been using to play with him all evening. His frantic mind catches on that, puts information in order. She knows, and what has she done? Skillfully engineered this absurd situation. He meets her eyes again. They’re warm and reassuring, despite her tone, waiting for him to see it. 

This isn’t a threat. It's a fucking invitation. 

[injunade]

black mirror episode scores by me:

s1 e1: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

interesting way to present the series. has a very banskish way of being mysterious with this fucked up twists. It feeds you the crumbs of what will be next; not very in tune with the rest of the series.

s1 e2: ☆ ☆ ☆

I didnt like it. I gave it a chance twice, but is just not my thing. I think that, overall, the whole episode is fine. it makes its point, but I dont like the execution. also the bright colors of the screens makes it very difficult for me to watch. I know its to make the viewer overwhelmed, but still.

Is not really bad, but not my cup of tea at all.

s1 e3: ☆ ☆ ☆

Alright... rather boring and long. good concept. better executed in later episodes; for this reason is rather skipable.

s2 e1: ☆ ☆ ☆

its good... but a bit bland. it could have had a better conflict. that woman was way to sane, I think it needed a squizo turn.

s2 e2: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

damn perfect. I love it so much. interesting as fuck concept, very well executed. I love the liminal space "last of us" sort of vibe. amazing plot twist, not see it coming at all. masterpice.

unnecessary highlight: the girl with the hunter hat is so cute, thanks for that too.

s2 e3: ?????

I cant put stars because I coudnt end it. I find it to be a very bad episode from the beginning, especially after being exposed to the previous episode.

s2 e4: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

there are some parts that I find a bit off, but very nice. Im not sure about the idea of consciousness in an ai to help you out... it seems very forceful,

boys are just having fun with their writing I guess. I do like the concept of direct consciousness in a replicate reality, seems more down to earth. I do find it possible to make people able to see and experience something like dreams in a shared space.

anyway, I did liked it a lot. there are better ones but its basically objectively good.

s3 e1: ☆

anyone. and I mean anyone, even 8-years-olds, could have come up with the plot of this episode.

the pastel aesthethics are almost as painful as the screens in s1 e2. I dont like how is directed, I dislike the main character before and after character development. this episode was a mistake.

s3 e2: ☆ ☆

very fogetable, in fact I almost cant remember it.

the idea is good and I love psychological horror and games but this episode could have been a masterpice and is just ...there.

Also dont put americans in black mirror, sorry not sorry (this was the biggining of evil).

s3 e3: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

fucking masterpice out of a masterpice. fucking top tier plotwist. it has everything, that actor from "the end of the fucking world" who is an out of this world actor, action, suspense, its funny, it has hacking used in a very terrifing and arguable way, it has radiohead (fits like a glove and hits like a truck).

it lets you thinking "the fuck!? really?...but... for real?"

top tier concept. I just love cancel concepts. yeah... feed me those.

s3 e4: ☆ ☆ ☆

Its bad but is good. I will keep saying it: keep americans out of this.

corny, cute, actually made me cry (I think). Obviously based on that viral tumblr 80s pic of two girls playing in an arcade. the person who wrote this has a tumblr account, I dont have proofs neither doubts.

Its an okey experience... (medio goma). but okey, I cant score it with less than 3 stars. Is good.

s3 e5: ?????

I hate action whatever. I coudnt watch it. looks cliché.

s3 e6: ????

ohhhhh.... looks interesting as hell but actually didnt watched it. It was very complex and I just wanted to eat while seeing som light at the time lol.

s4 e1: ☆ ☆

very forgetable, in fact I almost cant rember it fully.

kinda whatever.

s4 e2: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

fuck... this episode. very dark, very on point. terrifing.

this has lit has happened to me. very well writen plot and characters, very real. painful to watch.

s4 e3: ☆ ☆

dense ass episode. Its okey... but it was really difficult for me to end the episode. I just coudnt connect, I didnt care the slightest about the characters. felt like a waiste of time, but I know is not that bad.

s4 e4: ☆ ☆ ☆

It was okey, has this filler episode vibe. It didnt bore me to death, so here you have your three stars.

s4 e5: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

I liked it quite a lot. very engaging and I really like apocalypse stories, so yeah. nice.

something about the ending tho...

s4 e6: ☆ ☆ ☆

the atmosphere is nice, I liked the mysterious touch.

could be better... a bit weak. but would watch it again.

black mirror bandersnatch: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

interactive movie? yes.

cool concept, good plot, good acting.

could have been better? ...yes.

(oh, but you didnt... yes. I did play different endings, bitch)

[ca-suffit]

on the topic of it being revealed Claudia hated them both- as a book fan I did want that. however the show isn't the book and people need to respect that. I, for one, even in the midst of rereading the books post s2, (and who has been a fan for over 15 years, and first read the books a decade ago. Not to gatekeep bc I don't believe in that- just reiterating book/movie fan) /prefer the t.v. better/ like I just idfc Louis and Claudia are done better in the show. I do wish we could have gotten that angle from Claudia, because yes original grown woman trapped in a 5 years old body is insane and I was slightly disappointed way back s1 when they aged up even more than Kirstin's Claudia. But like both actresses, the writing, dynamics etc. have been done beautifully. I'd still like to see it because I personally love manipulative resourceful female characters. But we do know in the show pages were ripped out and everyone's unreliable narrators so maybe they are gonna keep it for s3 or something But even if they do that angle... I don't think most would think her a villain? I think a lot of ""the point"" of many of the characters isn't like mutual abuse or justification, but just literally that f*ck*d up traumatized people are terrible to each other with waves of good vs bad (in terms of the armand-louis-lestat type cluster). I think the only people to demonize her would be racists and sexists. I saw another post shared saying how good it is to have Louis as a black villain so I don't know why we can't have Claudia also as a black villain, that feels sort of like an internal sexist take

I think there's still room--and it's basically been hinted at by cast and crew too by now--that the diaries or at least Claudia's "voice" somehow will return again like they do in the books. I definitely think we're gonna see more of her rage. hope she fucks everyone up.

And, ya, what u wrote about how all the characters are meant to be complex and traumatized. the only ppl rly putting them in boxes *are* typically those who see the show thru their racial / gender biases, conscious or not. that's why it helps to have awareness of what these biases look like and listen when the fandom talks about it, cuz it's beeeeen talked about. hell, the show even spelled it out in the trial. lestat is saying how similar he and claudia are....but it doesn't help her and she brings attention to that too. that flew past a lot of ppl watching, who only saw it as a cute moment of lestat being a good dad, ffs.

there was some post shortly after the trial that was saying how many ppl it took to control lestat during it, and yet claudia took him out p much by herself in the body of a teenager too. ppl don't give claudia enough credit for shit. she was praised more as a white girl but the moment she's doing even *more* as a black girl, the fandom writes it off and says it's too mean and manipulative.....when she literally learned it from lestat, who already has multiple tiktok remixes of all *his* moments otherwise 5 secs after they ever air. even the ones that are racist as fuck.

[ace-hell]

Ok so i started castlevania a few days ago and here are my thoughts so far:

-gruesome, more than i expected, but its fine

- gosh i love trevor

-i absolutely LOVE trevor, sypha and alucards friendship. Priceless, there's bickering but not in a childish way its nice to see it

-alucard is a bebi

-hector is super autistic coded and he a bebi too i liek him

-it was understandable from the moment carmilla came in that she'd betray Dracula and all but SHE HIT HECTOR! AND THE WAY SHE TREATS HIM? that bitch

-draculas last moments understanding he is trying to kill his son and accepting his death was touching. I think he wanted to hug alucard one last time before trevor cut off his head

-it still fucks my brain how brainwashed and stupid people can be over an ideology and belief and when you understand its an ADULT? idk it still shocks me that the church actually treated people like that. Horrible

-i know i won't get it but im still having hopes in everything i see for even a small jewish representation

-hector gonna die isn't he right?

-can't get over the fact that deaculas last name is tepes(tepesh) which sounds like tipesh in hebrew and it means stupid. Lmfao for me his name is "vlad dracula stupid"

-sypha is a super cool character, stronk magician smart woman

- kinda wanted to see more of godbrand but eh i don't feel like i missed something

-ALUCADS LIL DOLLS OF TREVOR AND SYPHA!!! HOW HE MIMICS THEM!!! absolute bebi

-plz save hector #justiceforhector (i know he helped the genocide of humanity but how can you stay mad at him huh?)

That's it for now, started S3 let's see how it gets even more fucked up

Update:

-GOSH i fucking LOVE trevor hehe

-alucard is still a bebi yes yes

- SUMI AND TAKA???? SO ??? BEAUTIFUL???? I-wow

-why everyone whispering

-have confused feelings about lenore, she is a very cool, pretty and interesting character but i feel like she'll kill my baby hector

-btw hector is a sub confirmed

-hectors nudity was NOT something i was prepared for, much less than the gore

-istg isaac and that captain were flirting at one point

-the head of the priory is so fucking creepy like yes dude we get it, we see them, put them away. Where did he get all those eyes from. And disgusting as hell.

-"what the fÜCK is a toilet paper" had me dead, my favorite line yet.

- me at the beginning of S3ep9: "wow half of the main characters fight for their lives while the other half are fucking". Me at the end of S3ep9: "oh. Oh, well nevermind. I knew it will come to this"

- i just KNEW lenore will betray hector ay ay ay. For alucard less, but not mid fucking oy vey

Update 0.2:

-im still so mad about the whole ordealwith sumi and taka

-hector?? I have so many things to say and questions to ask. You go girl, ily.

-alucard is STILL a bebi.

- can't imagine his pain by seeing how someone takes rhe soul of your parents and just tortures tgem for their own needs, thinking they are doing something good. Horrible. Poor kid

-trevor????? TREVOR ???? trevor. T R E V O R ???????? TREVOR!!!!!! U CAN'T DIE NOO I LUV U PLZ DON'T DIE

-wow lenore's ending was... Disappointing i gotta say. She just didn't wanna sit in her castle all the time so she just went to the sun to burn.

-trevor is alive!!!! YIPPI !!!

-ain't no fucking way they revived dracula and lisa omg wth

-hector is alive!!! I was wrong about him!!! Good

[whydotheycallmechimney]

sending u ruby for the ask game. go for it

How I feel about this character: LOVE OF MY LIFE!!! from the moment I first saw her in s3 I knew I would be weirdly obsessed with her. aside from both actresses being extremely gorgeous, I just think she's a really fascinating character??? like name another character so devoted to their cause and dedicated to their con...also an evil woman taking advantage of my favorite character? hell yeah.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: sam!!!! though I don't know if I enjoy them as a traditional romantic pairing...mostly they're just fun to psychoanalyze and put in fucked up situations. she made herself his mother mary you guys!! also dean...I think her being one of his mirrors means they should fuck. also anna...and meg...and ava in an alternate universe where she won the special kids hunger games <3

My non-romantic OTP for this character: oh wait I should put dean here bc I don't ship them ship them, they should just be hostile and horny about it together <3

My unpopular opinion about this character: okay so I think I'm too much of a fandom newb to answer this bc I don't know the popular opinion about her. I know the fandom circle I'm in loves her and also doesn't view her relationship with sam through rose tinted glasses soo....yeah, sorry I've got nothing

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: mostly I really wished we could have seen an alternate version of s5 where she lived. just to see her dynamic with lucifer and if she would have remained loyal to him till the end. also I think her and meg would have been really good foils of each other smh

give me a character and I'll break their ass down

[pandaspwnz]

I decided to watch season 3 of the witcher (the first 5 episodes that are out at this point at least) and by the time I finished it, I kind of forgot why I had been so hesitant to start watching it in the first place, aside of course the whole Henry Cavill leaving thing (and to clarify, I'm not watching season 4 and onwards because he's absolutely correct in why he's leaving, the show won't be the same without him, and the whole Joey having to write a 7000 word essay to get proper representation vis a vis Jaskier thing etc etc) because honestly I thoroughly enjoyed s3 so far! I did think the 5th episode was a bit.. or a lot 'meh'? But still. Then I remembered ofc that I'd been so hesitant because season 2 was ASS.

Anyway, I never watched Blood Origin, and after looking around the witcher subreddit and seeing that everybody apparently fucking hates s3, which I've concluded I liked so far, and also hates Blood Origin, I figured hey it might just be another one of those things where I would feel differently than the people who hate it.

So I just finished watching it and oh. my god. It SUCKS. ASS.

It's so fucking bad!!

Now I won't do what a lot of people have and go EUGH WOKE LEFTISTS RUINED IT or IT'S FULL OF BAD ACTING because what the hell are you talking about. First of all the only truly good thing about Blood Origin imo was the diversity. The most interesting story lines imo was Meldof and what happened with Gwen, I would have loved to see more of her story and her getting revenge, and Meldof was so endearing! I really loved how Francesca Mills played her. The humor came across as humorous, the grief was sad, and the weird goofy offball energy was delightful. I also think she did the fight scenes really well!

Also Eredin and Brían's story would have been so much more interesting to explore than what we got. Like hello? High ranking fancy schmancy general falls in love with a low born merchant? Even goes so far as to betray his ally for the sake of raising his lover in society, so they can be together without sneaking around? That's a classic premise for a reason! The reason being it's compelling and romantic! I love that shit.

I also don't feel like we needed seven characters. I loved Scìan and wish we had seen more of her life both before and after losing her clan. I didn't really feel we had time at all to get to know Brother Death and Zacaré at all, and even though I especially liked the actress who played Zacaré, neither of those two characters really made much impact on their own. I feel like they could have been condensed into other characters to make fewer stronger characters instead of many weaker ones. I also don't think we really learned very much about Syndril as a person, so if he had been combined with Zacaré, I think that would have worked better.

BUT I think every single actor in that show acted their heart out. They put their whole entire pussies into it!! And they did a great job with the material they had to work with. Unfortunately the material was bad (like jesus christ. by the power of friendship and also singing to calm the hulk like 3 times can we do literally anything else. Also everyone fucking singing the rose song like we GET IT but it felt so inauthentic and staged.) Also Fjall and Éile you knew each other for like 3 days calm down. There was no reason for them to fall in love aside from man meets woman and they are in physical proximity. I understand logically that they traveled together longer but it was SO rushed on screen. It was bad.

Anyway the costume design was gorgeous, and the makeup was as well. The fight scenes were nicely choreographed and shot. The effects were pretty good overall, I think!

But the pacing was bad, the script was bad, the dialogue was bad, it was bad. Beautiful but bad.

[donald4spiderman]

Ok hear me out. Spencer is dating Reader and she’s always hated that she’s been more chubby/curvy. And one night in the middle of a case she calls him crying and Spencer just gets really soft and calms her down after a bad nightmare. And his heart breaks cause his loving girlfriend hates her body. So Spencer plans this elaborate date and proposes maybe? You can decide if the team have met her or not. I’d like it to be the original team but if you wanna combine the original and new teams together that’s cool too!

no bc my body image issues have been rampant lately so this is personal as hell to me. I work out a lot and i’m fit but i’ve never been SKINNY like i have thick legs and muscular arms andnnfnfjndjnffn so this is personal.

I modified this a bit but it’s still the same premises hope you like it! ***BTW IN THIS UNIVERSE THE S3-7 CAST EXISTS FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW— SO THE LATER SEASONS HAVE MORGAN AND HOTCH.

also sorry this is a long

TW: body image issues, discussions of food & weight, insecurity, crying, kissing

WC: 1.5k

-

You know, pragmatically, that you have nothing to worry about. Spencer chose you. And for the past four years, Spencer has worshipped you every day— again and again. He is the most loving, considerate, and tender partner you could ever wish for. He is near perfection.

You’ve met Spencer's friends many times. You’re not close with either of your parents, so the team of profilers welcomed you into their arms with grace and care. Each and every one of them is beautifully amazing and exceptionally brilliant.

Spencer‘s friends are not only badass, but they’re also gorgeous. JJ, Emily, and Garcia are national treasures— so visually stunning it’s almost sickening.

You knew he used to have a crush on JJ way before he met you. You’ve also heard the tale of Lila Archer, the celebrity actress who made out with your boyfriend in a pool. Spencer’s had an eventful life, full of beautiful, sweet, magnificent women— so why does he choose you?

You view yourself as bland in comparison. What do you have to offer Spencer that he can’t find elsewhere? You don’t have toned abs, slim hips, and slender arms. You’re not striking in any way.

Spencer calls you every night when he’s away on a case. He’s never missed a call, even when he got shot in the neck and kidnapped by a murderous cult. He’s reliable and consistent, and that eases your worries a little bit.

It’s eleven pm in D.C. and your phone rings right as your getting in bed.

“Hi, my love,” Spencer says breathily, his voice slightly muffled by the phone. He’s away in Ohio for a case.

“Hey.” You reply, the sweetness in his voice soured by your mood. “How’s the case going?”

“Good. JJ and I are about to pass out in our beds— we’re so tired.”

You can’t help the way your face drops. “Oh. Well, get rest.”

Your about to hang up before he interjects. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Why?” You know better than to lie to your boyfriend, who happens to be an expert on human behavior.

“Okay, I know a lie when I hear one. (Y/N), baby, what’s wrong?” He pleads.

You can’t help the tear that rolls down your cheek. “God, I’m sorry. I just miss you so much. You always know what to do when I’m feeling like shit.”

Spencer knows how much you struggle with self and bodily acceptance. He hates the world for making you feel anything less than incredible, both inside and out.

“I miss you too, so much, (Y/N).” His voice is thick as if he’s going to start crying too. “I love you so much, so fucking much. You have no idea how beautiful and amazing you are.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He laughs through a sob that wrecks his body. “You deserve everything in this world. I promise to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. You are the love of my life.”

You wipe the tears from underneath your eyes. “Sorry for keeping you up. You must be tired.”

“Never, if it means I get to talk to you.”

“I love you, Spencer.”

“I love you too, (Y/N). More than you’ll ever know.”

-

Spencer wakes up the next day with a newfound determination. The team solves the case as fast as possible, and by the end of the night, they’ve boarded the jet back home.

Spencer has more than enough hours to think about you and how much you mean to him. Hotch is seated directly across from him, rereading the case files.

“Hotch?” The wiser man looks up from his files, raising an eyebrow.

Spencer pauses for a moment. Maybe he’d be better asking Morgan or JJ for advice, considering Hotch’s tragic circumstances regarding Haley.

But no one loves like Hotch does-- sincerely, passionately-- stronger than anything else in the world. Spencer decides there’s no one better to ask.

“How uh did you know that Haley was the one?”

Hotch’s eyes soften for a bit. He clears his throat. “I knew since the day I met her that I would love her for the rest of my life unconditionally. She makes me complete. Do you feel that (Y/N) makes you complete?”

He already knows why Spencer is asking for his advice, steering the conversation in that direction.

“Yes. She’s my world.” Spencer whispers.

“Then it’s simple, really. Love doesn’t need to be complicated and precise. It’s what you do with it that matters.”

“I want to marry her, Hotch. I want to be with her for the rest of my life.”

Hotch smiles, “Then do it.”

Spencer feels the rush of excitement as he gathers everyone on the jet, including the prior sleeping passengers, filling them in on his big plans.

“I need all of your guys’ help.”

-

There’s a firm knock on your door at four in the morning. You know it isn’t Spencer because he has a key, but who could it be?

You take a cautious look out of your peephole to find Penelope, Emily, and JJ outside.

“What are you guys doing here?” You yawn. “For god's sake, it’s four am.”

“We know, and we’re sorry.” Penelope smiles.

“Is Spencer alright?” You ask, wondering if things suddenly went wrong during the case.

But by the joyous look on their face, you know nothing somber occurred.

“Spencer’s completely fine. But, we need to you to get changed and come with us. FBI’s orders.” JJ chuckles.

You change into warmer clothes in minutes, and the BAU ladies usher you into Emily’s car as fast as possible.

“So, no ones gonna tell me what’s going on?”

They shake their heads, “We’re just... running a quick errand.”

After a few more minutes of driving, Emily parks on the side of a dimly lit street.

“I need you to put this on.” She says, holding up a blindfold.

“Are you guys gonna murder me?” You joke, slipping the fabric over your eyes with little resistance.

“Quite the opposite, actually.” You don’t have time to think about what Penelope means before you’re being yanked out of the car.

You walk, guided by JJ, for four minutes. The grass beneath you crushes below your boots, and the hushed whispers of Emily and Penelope behind you do nothing to calm your nerves.

“Okay,” JJ says, halting to a stop. “You can take off your blindfold now.”

You hesitantly slip the blindfold off, revealing a brightly lit table in the middle of a secluded field. Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi are standing off to the sides.

Suddenly, Spencer emerges from behind a tree, dusting the leaves and dirt off his adorable sweater.

“Hi?” You laugh, utterly confused by this situation. “What’s going on?”

His hands are shaking, and he has to swallow a few times before he can speak. “I-I uh got y-you apple pie— uh your favorite.”

Spencer walks you towards the table, where a small slice of warm pie sits lonely on the table.

“Y-you should um... eat it.” He urges, pointing at the knife and fork next to it.

You glance around, trying to gauge the emotions of everyone around you, but fail. Stupid profilers and their poker faces.

Your fork cuts into the heavenly smelling pie, and you scoop up a bite into your mouth.

“It’s... good? I’ll pretty much eat any pie you give me, Spencer.”

He smiles, “I know that. But t-this is a special pie.”

“Okay...”

“You should t-take a closer look— at the pie.”

You inspect the dessert, completely puzzled until a glinting piece of silver catches your eye. Spencer notices the shock in your face and catches the plate that almost falls out of your hand.

Morgan hands him a napkin, and when Spencer pulls an apple-covered ring from the slice of pie, you almost faint.

“No way.” You gasp; tears spring to your eyes as Spencer wipes the ring clean.

He holds it tightly between two fingers, bending to kneel on one knee.

“(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I knew from the moment I met you that you were the most special woman I’d have the pleasure of meeting. A month later, you asked me out for our first date, and I couldn’t believe that someone as gorgeous and amazing as you would settle for someone like me.” You scoff at his humility.

“I spend every moment loving every part of you, (Y/N). None of my love will ever stop— ever. I promise to share my heart with you until the very end. There is absolutely no one I would rather be bonded to for the rest of my life. You are better than my dream girl because you’re real. You’re here, and you chose to love me every day— the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Y/N), will you do me the honor and great privilege of allowing me to become your husband?” You silently sob.

“Please say yes.” Spencer smiles.

“Yes!” You exclaim, pulling him up to hug him. “How could I say anything but!”

The dam breaks, and the entire team begins to cry as you and Spencer share a passionate kiss, almost collapsing down onto the grass from the sheer force of your love. He slips the ring onto your finger; it belongs there.

“I choose you, (Y/N).” He repeats.

“I choose you, Spencer, always.” You whisper into the crook of his neck.

Nothing’s ever felt so right.

[pensbridgrton]

As a desi woman but also a fan of Penelope’s do you have any thoughts on how Bridgerton is being promoted as racially motivated?

There's so much to unpack in this ask, phew.

First of all - my being a fan of Pen has literally 0 bearing on what I think of Netflix's promotion, but also more importantly, about it being "racially motivated."

Second of all, it's made me real uncomfortable that I've seen so many white people inserting their takes about all of this and ignoring actual brown people. Now, there have been plenty of brown/black fans in all spaces (here, twitter, etc. etc.) that have expressed concerns and that is completely valid, but once again, we are not a monolith and so while I was going to ignore this ask because it feels a little bait-y, I'm here because I do think it's important to offer another perspective.

No, I do not think the promotion is racially motivated. But before I get into that, let's talk about Penelope/Colin/Polin and their actors because I've seen so much shit and kept my mouth shut, but frankly I'm sick of it. And if you wanna read my take about something, you get to hear me vent about everything. So sorry, but this entire thing is a goddamn essay but whatever, I'll get there eventually.

Nicola and Newts (and Charithra and Claudia) are actors doing their jobs. The amount of people hating on Nic and Newts irritates the hell out of me. The hate on Charithra because there might be a possible love triangle? Get the FUCK out of here. I'm already going to stan Edwina because if she does love Anthony and creates a love triangle - good for fucking her. She deserves it.

You are allowed to not find Newts attractive. That's fine. You are allowed to think he can't carry a season (you're wrong, but again, that's your opinion. He literally carried an entire season of a show and he wasn't the main. But whatever, fine. ) What's irritating and frankly, shitty, is saying that people who do find Newts attractive are silly or dumb or naive or whatever the else I've been scrolling past (before blocking, especially on his damn birthday). Fans have different tastes. That goes for ships and characters and for fucking actors.

I like Penelope, a lot. I loved her in the books, I liked her in the show, and I'm curious to where her storyline goes. She's one half of my favorite ship. So, yes, I'm going to be optimistic about her characterization. I don't begrudge people who dislike Pen - she did a real shitty thing and as someone who has FROM DAY ONE, called her out for it (especially as someone who also loves Marina), I'm not here to call her girlboss or say what she did doesn't deserve consequences or dislike. Maybe I'm naive and optimistic, but I really think S2 is about Pen reaching rock bottom and S3 is about building and changing her to be the better person she - and LW - can be. But that's my hope for the future, but I don't actually control the show. I'm honestly more worried about Colin's characterization as an individual character, but... frankly, he's a white male character so I'm not putting my energies into worrying about it other than a few private breakdowns here and there because he's a character I resonate with a lot in the books. But the show is the show and the books are the books and I'll get over it. Instead, let me worry about shit that actually matters.

Like Bombay and "from India" and being outsiders. This, to me, are the ACTUAL concerns I have about S2. Not the love triangle or Lady Whistledown/Polin taking up screen time (let's be real... Polin had 10 mins of screentime in all S1 and Saphne was still the central focus, even over the secondary story of LW/Pen. I anticipate this same case in S2.) I do think if anything derails by enjoyment in S2 it's going to be this India storyline. (Well, and the complete lack of queerness but let's move on.)

So now to the promotion - no, I do not think it's racially motivated.

The EW spread was probably planned to be SA, JB, NC, and CC. But JB has a wholeass show coming out soon and SA was apparently busy - if it was racially motivated, CC wouldn't have been in that shoot at all, they would have called up CJ, LN, and LT. They didn't, because Edwina is important to S2 and if they couldn't have JB/SA there to talk about it, they at least wanted CC. And they clearly wanted to focus on Kathony... because so many of the articles and interviews included JB/SA THROUGH ZOOM (they made that fucking effort!) And guess what - the articles focused on two things - Kathony and Lady Whistledown. Guess what? That's the focus of the show. Focusing on LW as the central storyline for four seasons is smart for the show. They know this. It's obviously going to be a focus - but it's not going to overshadow the central romance. These are creator choices anyway, and have nothing to do with Netflix's marketing.

The teaser? Was literally like the S1 teaser. JA voiceovers with plenty of out of context clips, including a strong focus on scandal and sex -- especially in regards to Kathony. If you wanna get upset about a thumbnail, sure, fine I guess. You do you. I simply don't give a fuck. This show is a drama. It's focus is on scandal and gossip and a rotating romance storyline. The teaser, in my opinion, reflected that.

It's not even March yet. Netflix doesn't start REAL promotion until a few weeks before, especially for their returning shows. They shouldn't anyway - no one remembers until just before the premiere. Most everything from RJP and PD came AFTER S1 dropped - I expect the same here. I understanding wanting more SA content - I always do! - and I get wanting them to get the EW photoshoot like Batman and the Great... but JB is hella busy? Covid is still a thing? SA is clearly doing things based off her instagram.

I might be blind and naive and too optimistic - but Netflix's promo is absolutely fine. If you're upset with LW being a focus on the show... that's not a Netflix/promotional thing, that's a creator/writers thing (which I feel like everyone already knew... that was literally the point of S1). Kathony is a great ship and I'm excited to see them adapted, but Netflix wants to retain viewers and you do that by showing a) people they are familiar with and like and b) waiting right before the premiere to push the hot sexy people they're actually going to see.

Thank you for your time if you read this ridiculousness.

[asterekmess]

I absolutely despise the way Jeff Davis and the Teen Wolf writers/producers kept diminishing other characters to highlight Scott. They really had Derek claim “Lydia would never run or hide because of Scott” when 1) Derek and Lydia barely interact throughout the whole show 2) Lydia Martin has more power, charisma, personality, talent, and leadership skills in her pinky than Scott will ever have in his entire life 3) the right answer would have been “Lydia would never run or hide because of LYDIA”

Jeff tried to push his gross ‘Scott made Lydia a better woman’ narrative down our throat again using Lydia herself – LYDIA: Not all monsters do monstrous things. MEREDITH: Like who? LYDIA: Like Scott McCall. They propped Scott up at the expense of canon and of everyone else in the cheapest, most blatant case of Tell Not Show that I’ve ever seen These are the two Lydia messages? Yes? I hope so, so I’m putting them together. They started with this concept in S3a, making it blatant in the episode “The Girl Who Knew Too Much” when Lydia randomly starts telling Scott how much she trusts him to help her find a way to prevent the deaths that she keeps predicting. Then they did the whole holding hands thing, which....what? I’ll be honest, the introduction of Kira in S3B as a love interest for Scott really surprised me, because it very much looked like they were trying to build up a romance between Lydia and Scott. Jackson had just left, and we know Scott’s original desire from the start of the show was to have what Jackson had. Since Allison still wasn’t getting back together with him, Lydia would be the next best thing. And it wouldn’t be the first time that they got together while Scott was without Allison. Plus there was the storyline of her falling for the ‘bad boy’ serial killer werewolf, and how that would’ve been flipped on its head if she then dumped Aiden for being ‘bad’ and fell for Scott because he was ‘good.’ But I’m kind of off-topic. I agree that it was super frustrating. The whole show took pains to point out that the growth of literally any character had to be in some way caused by Scott. Derek couldn’t grow until he learned to let Scott take control. Stiles couldn’t grow without Scott to keep him on the ‘right’ track morality-wise. Ethan and Aiden gave up their murdering ways because Scott was so inspirational, yadda yadda yadda. When the truth is, Lydia was the way she was from the beginning. From the start, Lydia didn’t run or hide. Half the time she didn’t have the option to, because she was cornered or surprise attacked, but Lydia faced her issues head on. When she got dumped, she freaked out in the hall, and then she tried to move on. When she was called out by Allison for kissing Scott, she took it in stride. In season two, she tried to make amends with Jackson and be chill about their breakup. She didn’t hide from the other students even when she started having episodes in class. And from the fucking BEGINNING of S3, without any interaction with Scott, Lydia was fucking strong as hell. She took her own initiative in her relationships--and I STILL stand by the opinion that she never would’ve dated Aiden if someone had fucking told her what he’d done instead of her getting a tiny little glimpse when he helped kill Boyd--and she stuck by all of them when Scott got sick. She helped Stiles save Boyd, Ethan, and Isaac, and saved both Stiles and Scott in the end. Lydia has NEVER run away from her problems. Yeah, she suppressed a lot of trauma and hid her feelings from Others, but that’s not the same thing. Lydia has always been headstrong and brave loyal, and Scott has nothing to do with that.

[wearevillaneve]

Hi! Recently I've been analyzing the scene where Eve puts the heart against her ear, listening to Villanelle's voice in s3 ep3, and would love to hear your take on it as well since I love to read your Tumblr posts. Do you think it was the first time Eve actually gave in to the feeling or just the first time the audience got to see it?

Suzanne Heathcote’s approach to Killing Eve was very much “tell-don’t-show,” so it was not a shock that the impression the viewers were left with was this was the first time Eve was actually owning up to how intense her feelings for Villanelle were. Except it wasn’t.   Not even close.   We got that moment back in Season 2 with “Wide Awake” where over a few short minutes Eve is as honest and revealing with the psychologist Martin as she has been with anyone in the entire show. 

Eve never tells Martin she’s in love with Villanelle. She hasn't even told Villanelle, but it hardly matters.  She is in love with this woman, and she can’t stop thinking about her.   It could not be more obvious. This is a good thing, because under Heathcote’s tender mercies, Eve is just kinda doing stuff to be doing it.   The rhyme or reason of it doesn’t matter anymore.   It’s only important for her to go dumpster diving for cake boxes and running around Scotland stomping old ladies to death.  Motivations be damned and pretty much all Eve's previous character development as well. In Season 3, Eve never acknowledges out loud how deep under her skin Villanelle has gotten until they are on the bridge where she says she can’t envision a future without her in it.   That’s good,  but coming off of everything that came after the Rome fiasco, where is this coming from, Eve?    Are you just so weary of the pointless snipe hunt that was the “Who Killed Kenny?” story arc or how your personality turned on a damn dime from obsessing over getting back with your husband to obsessing over getting back with your girlfriend? It would be a revelation for someone to ask Sandra Oh, “At what point in Season 3 does Eve fall back in love/lust with Villanelle, and better yet, WHY does she?”

“Admit it, Eve.  You wish I was here.”   It’s a great scene.  No lie.  At first Eve’s flustered and then frustrated and a little pissed by that familiar voice coming out of that goofy toy.  Then as she tears the heart out of it, she-can’t-stop-listening-to-it.   Eve's loneliness is matched by her longing for Villanelle. Obsession truly doesn't die even when the objects of obsession keep trying to murder one another.  

What the talking bear doesn’t say is, “I can’t stop thinking about you.”   Villanelle needs to maintain some distance between her true feelings for Eve and her pride and the admission that she misses Eve would be showing weakness.  A swaggering Roman centurion-turned Emperor in a oversized grey suit facing off on a double-decker bus with an old foe who once hurt “him” greatly cannot be so vulnerable and soft (and what the fuck was up with that Roman centurion/smells like power bullshit, anyway?). Villanelle was weird that whole episode.   The opening kills with the Infinity Tuning Fork was weird.  Baby-snatching the baby in order to play with it, right up until the kid starts crying or pooping, then the fun’s over, and she cackles with malicious glee when Dasha drops the little shitbird in the trash.   Struts around London to select a new customized perfume, buy and customize a toy for Eve, break into Eve’s dump of an apartment, follow her to the bus, change clothes and bust a cap in The Twelve’s accountant while scaring the hell out of Carolyn and Mo, finally returning to a hotel for a shower and a little telly before calling it a night as she and Eve nurse their matching bruises. That’s a pretty full and totally weird day for Villanelle.  In the meantime, Eve gets a restless night tossing and turning all night as she keeps replaying V’s message until the battery dies or she climaxes.  Whatever comes first.

Yeah, @dayyneee, I love the scene as much as you do as it comes in my favorite episode of my least favorite season.  What bugs me most about it is it has really no effect on the following episodes.  Eve never mentions it again and Villanelle doesn’t even ask if she liked it.  Uh--why is that, Killing Eve writers?   Seemed like you went out of the way to make a point of the stuffed bear’s heart being a mighty big thing at the time, but after that it swirls down the memory hole never to be referenced again?  What’s up with that? Eve could have referred to the talking heart which would have given Villanelle a chance to ask how she liked her birthday cake and the postcard from Amsterdam intercepted by Carolyn in Season 2.   Some might dismiss this as “fan service,” but I call it tying up loose threads that like so many other things on Killing Eve happen and are never heard from again. If Laura Neal is doing a rewatch of the show, she’s filling up a pad with notes of things that need tidying up before the curtain comes down.   What about “the heart?” is not the least of them. 

[killiansprincss]

We Found Wonderland

Summary: Trapped in the past after the S3 finale, Killian and Emma are forced to fade into the background as a newly married couple in a village while Rumplestilskin works on the portal to send them back to the future. (No Marian) What challenges will they face, after all it’s only pretending to be married after all right? Inspired by Taylor Swift ‘Wonderland’

Due to tumblr word limit I’ve had to post this in 2 parts, find part 1 here

Also on AO3

“It was so lovely to meet you Emma, I love that I finally get to see the woman who keeps Killian on his toes. I hope we can do this again sometime.” Cassian says.

“Good luck with your child, I can see he or she will be brought into a loving house.” Emma tells them as they leave, not even looking in Killians direction.

____

“What the fuck was that all about back there?” Emma practically screams as they enter their home.

“What do you mean love?” Killian asks dumbfounded,

“Don’t play dumb with me Hook. The proposal story.” She uses his moniker, she’s angry with him, she’s pissed off.

“Touching didn’t you think? Really brought a tear to their eyes.” He smirks, he knows he’s winding her up but he doesn’t care.

“You want to know what I think? I think someone’s getting a little too comfortable in this life, you know pretending to be married and all. I think someone is forgetting. We are not actually married! We are not from here, we do not belong here. You’re in love with me but I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same.”

“You want the truth Swan?” Killian said through gritted teeth. “Fine. Yes I am getting comfortable with this life, for once you’re not always yelling at me when I’m trying to help. I won't lie and say I don’t enjoy you flirting with me for once instead of it always being me. And I don’t believe for a second my feelings for you are one sided.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Emma asks, the anger building up inside her.

Killian scoffs. “You know what I mean. When we were getting your parents together, at the ball. You looked at me different that night, like you were seeing a new side to me. You could’ve said something when we danced together over and over, but you didn’t. You got closer and closer to me over those 2 days, and when I rescued you from that blasted prison you acted like we were lovers and they didn’t question it. Ever since we found out we were stuck you’ve only been flirting with me more and more.”

“Because we are technically married. And it’s not flirting. It’s-“ Emma begins.

Killian moves closer, closing the gap between the two. She can practically feel his heartbeat as he looks into her eyes, “it’s what? Because I think you’re trying to ignore that gut feeling that you feel something for me. You don’t want to admit how you truly feel. What I feel. I’m not an idiot, you kissed me back in Neverland for a reason, and you felt something as I did. Bloody hell, I gave up everything for you Emma, I traded my ship to Blackbeard to get a magic bean to find you in New York even though you had no idea who I was. I-I” he couldn’t quite finish his sentence.

“You did what? Your ship?” Emma’s tone suddenly changes, “as in the Jolly Roger?”

Killian nods. “Aye. It was the only thing worth a magic bean.”

“You traded your ship for me?” She asks, still in shock. Nobody had done that for her before, he literally gave up his home for her. Everything he had. And she was a bitch to him.

Killian just nods. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it important.”

His ship. His home. Killian traded his home to find Emma. She had no idea who he was, he didn’t know if the memory potion would even work, but he did it anyway. He came and found her, brought her home.

Instead of saying anything Emma takes another step towards Killian closing the already small gap between them and captures his lips with hers.

They both didn’t know how much they had been longing for this, it was similar to their first kiss back in the Neverland jungle, hot and fiery. It’s filled with passion and wanting. Killian breaks the kiss for just a second to move positions and when his lips are back on Emma’s small moans escape. For in this moment, in this kiss, nothing else mattered. They forgot about their argument, about the angry screams and cusses from before. All that mattered was each other and that they were together now.

Emma wraps her legs around a Killians waist as he leads them over to the bed. Suddenly only having one bed and having to share didn't seem like such a problem.

The moans escaping from each other’s lips were getting more frequent and louder with each kiss. These enchanted forest clothes were a lot harder to remove than modern ones, but Killian was happy to oblige the removal of the dress.

“God's you’re beautiful.” Killain says taking in the sight of the almost naked Emma.

“Just shut up and kiss me.” Emma tells him. She wants him, she needs him.

Killian happily obliges, kissing her lips and her cheek and her neck leaving marks that will need covering up tomorrow. He sucks on her neck and leaves hot kisses down from her neck down her body, paying close attention to her breasts and then her stomach and inner thighs causing her back to arch and more moans start to escape.

“Killian I need you please.” Emma pleads, she wanted him.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes please. Please.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

After that night of pleasure, they never had to argue over the bed or awkwardly untangle themselves in the mornings. The next few months are spent exploring each other’s bodies every night, and finding out new things about each other every day.

Their relationship took a turn from pretending to be real and pretending to be in love, to not being so pretend anymore. They fell into the routine of a happily married couple.

There was also something else magical about that night. It seemed Emma’s magic had returned. Sparks flew that night in one way or another. It was electrifying.

___

“Hmm something smells good.” Emma says as she walks through the door after another horrible day at work.

Killian comes out from around the corner and presses a kiss to her lips.”I’m glad you’re home. I made you a surprise for dinner.”

“You know I hate surprises.” She whines

Killian chuckles, “I promise you are going to love this surprise.”

Emma sits down at the table as Killian puts a blindfold on his ‘wife’. “Whatever this is it smells good.”

Killian removes the blindfold as he pieces the plate of food in front of her,

“Is this?” Emma asks as she sees what seems to be a grilled cheese in front of her.

“My attempt at an Enchanted Forest Grilled Cheese. I went to the market and got the finest bread and the best cheese imported from Agrabah. I then made it into a sandwich and heated it up. I couldn’t figure out how to make the onion rings, which you so enjoy too, but this is the best I could do.”

“You did this for me?” Emma is shocked that he did this for her, he didn’t have to, but he did.

“I know you’re missing home, I can’t go to Granny herself and ask her to make you one, but this is the next best thing.” Killian gives her a smile. It wasn’t to get points or anything, he did it because he was really enjoying their time together but she was always talking about Stortybrooke, so he thought he’d bring a little bit of it to their home.

“Oh.My. God. This is incredible.”she says as she takes a bite “I love you.”

Realising what she just said, they’re both taken aback.

“Slip of though don’t worry I’ll pretend you didn’t say it.” He says awkwardly scratching behind his ear, a sad tone in his voice.

“No. No, I meant it. Sure it was a slip of the tongue but I don’t regret saying it. Killian, I love you.” She finally admits. “I didn’t admit how I was feeling for the longest time, but you stayed with me and helped me through it all. You didn’t have to come find me in New York but you did, you didn’t have to help me make sure my parents met but you did. You even became my fake husband so that we can slip through the cracks until we can go home.”

Her walls were slowly coming down each day she spent with Killian. He wasn’t running away, and Emma didn’t want to run when it all became real either. And for each wall he crashed through, she didn’t feel the need to build another.

“Gods I’m so pleased to hear you say that Swan.” Killian grabs her by the waist and spins her around, releasing laughter from Emma. “I love you too Emma. So much.”

_____

So we went on our way

Too in love to think straight

All alone, or so it seemed

But there were strangers watching

And whispers turned to talking

And talking turned to screams

Emma and Killian had been in the Enchanted Forest for around 10 months, hopefully Rumplestilskin would keep his word and have the portal so that they could go back to their world in 2 months time.

10 months in the Enchanted Forest, and Emma was still not used to the clothes or the food. Cassian and Maeve had invited them round a few more times, and this time they didn't need to lie about their relationship or their feelings as much anymore. The two of them had welcomed a baby girl, and Maeve had returned to work at the tavern, so at least Emma was no longer alone in battling off the creepy men.

Although, Emma couldn’t completely control her magic so there were times it spiraled out of control and she had hoped nobody would notice it was her. There was one time she was pouring drinks, it was a really busy shift, and she accidentally made the barrels explode and beer went everywhere. It took a lot of effort not to laugh at the beer that practically drenched the guy that had been trying to touch her up all shift.

“This happens all the time, don’t worry about it.” Maeve tells Emma as she grabs a rag to start cleaning up.

Phew. She got away with it. For now.

Except it kept happening.

Emma didn’t know why or what was happening, but her magic was uncontrollable.

“It’s happening again, I don’t know what to do.” She confides in Killian. She knows he will want to help, and not just because it will keep their secret safe.

Killian trusts her, he knows her magic is never intended to harm anybody. “Why does it keep happening at work, you don’t seem to have outbursts at home.”

“I feel safe at home.” Emma admits. “When I’m with you, I feel safe, I can pretend it’s just us and the rest of the world doesn’t exist. When I’m at work I get nervous because you’re not there and I have to do it all alone, keep up appearances. You’re so much better at it than I am.”

“I have something for you then.” Killian says as he pulls a chain from around his neck, with a cool silver ring attached.

“Wow, wow wow.” Emma’s heart suddenly starts to race, she loved Killian, but if this ring was his way of proposing they were moving way too quickly.

“Calm down Swan, I’m not proposing.” He realises he should have led with that before pulling out a ring. “You know I’m a survivor, and this ring is why. It belonged to my brother, a better man than I am. It’s kept me safe all these years, and now it’s going to keep you safe. At the very least it’s a reminder that you’ve got a smouldering piercing eyed pirate at home who loves you.”

She kisses him and smiles. Her smile is so bright, nobody has ever cared or loved her the way Killian does, and it’s kind of scary, but Killian hasn’t left her, he stuck by her and she’s slowly realising that being in love, especially with Killian, is nothing to be afraid of. “I love you too.”

Now when she was at work and felt her magic or became overwhelmed, she would hold the ring on the chain, and breathe. She would think of Killian and how they would be going home soon.

______

For the first couple weeks after clinging to the ring, Emma was fine. Her magic did become slightly overwhelming but she took the ring and held it for a few seconds, thought of Killain, and she was fine.

But then their story started getting poked at.

“Where did you say you came from again?” A girl at work would ask.

“Crestbourne, just north of here.” Emma says, hoping the subject will change soon.

“Crestborune? Isn’t that South?”

Emma plays dumb, “Right, I meant South. Sorry my head is spinning today, too much rum after work last night,”

Killian experienced the same thing.

“You say you were in the Royal Navy Jones?” Someone at work would ask.

“Aye, me and my brother. Under King Elijah.”

“Only because I have a friend currently in King Elijah’s army, and he hadn’t heard of a Jones in that army for over a hundred years.”

Killian didn’t know what to say, he didn’t expect to be caught out like this. So he just laughs and says, “Well I guess I didn’t make much of an impact if nobody remembers me.” It’s the best he can do.

That night at home, Emma and Killian discuss their situation.

“What do we do? Go back to Rumple? Work for him for the next 2 months?” Emma suggests, despite the fact that she doesn’t want to do this, maybe they had no choice.

“No. Absolutely not. I still don’t trust the Crocodile. If we go to him now before the Portals is ready- who knows what he’ll do with us?” Killian had every right to be afraid, especially as this Rumpelstiltskin was not the Mr. Gold they could threaten in Storybrooke.

Emma was worried, how much longer could this go on? “Then what do you plan we do?”

Killian takes Emma’s hand and pulls her in for a kiss. “We’ve come this far together. As long as we stick together, we can wager any more storms that come our way.”

Emma can’t help but smile at his sea analogies. But he was right, they had survived ten months together without any complications, they just needed to survive 2 more. As long as they were together, they could do this.

____

The next day Emma heads to work with Maeve, they both have an afternoon shift and she appreciated the company. Poor Maeve is working 3 days at the tavern and 4 days at the market. She and Cassian can barely afford clothes for their baby girl who is growing every day. Emma wishes she could tell her that it gets better, and that soon she hopefully wouldn’t have these problems. She’s pretty sure all jobs in Storybrooke pay a decent living wage.

“What’s happening up there?” Emma asks Maeve as they see a crowd start to form outside the tavern.

“I’m not sure.” Maeve looks equally as confused as they approach the growing crowd.

“WITCHES! BURN THE WITCHES!” They hear.

Oh no. No. This was not good.

This wasn’t like Storybrooke, people didn’t always accept magic here. And if they found out about Emma, who knows what they would do to her.

“I know there’s a witch here. Strange things have been happening, I know magic when I see it.” A man with a pitchfork says. Emma recognises him as a regular. A regular who likes to touch the girls that work there.

Emma’s heart is suddenly racing. Last night she made the barrels explode again. She tried to think of Killian and his ring, but she heard the name ‘Henry’ and her emotions, and therefore her magic was spiralling. The lights flickered before they cut out immediately and goblets started to shatter-despite being made of a heavy duty material.

Maeve looks at Emma, “Go. Go now before they find you.

Emma gives her a confused look, “what do you mean?”

In a quiet voice, she tells her, “I know you have magic. I see it, but you can’t control it. You would never use it to hurt anybody, but they don’t know that. Go now, escape while you still can.”

Emma gives Maeve a hug, “Thank you.”

“I know you don’t belong here. So I hope you can get back to wherever it is.” Maeve whispers.

Emma nods, Maeve was smart. “Things will get better. I promise.” Before she runs away back to their home.

Bursting through the door, she sees Killian taking a nap, he’d been working a lot more shifts lately, in his attempt to slip through the cracks.

“Killian! Wake up! Killain! We need to get out of here. They know. We need to find Rumple. I don’t care that it's only been 10 months. I need to be safe. I can’t do this anymore.” She’s rambling, Killian can’t understand what she’s saying.

“Swan calm down. What’s going on?” Killian asks, in his half sleep state.

Emma takes a deep breath and explains the Witch Hunt going on outside the tavern and how Maeve knows she has magic, and has given her a head start.

“THE WITCH LIVES HERE! I'VE SEEN IT!”

Suddenly there’s a pounding on their door. Emma and Killian look at one another. “Swan if you have a way of getting us out by magic, do it now.”

The door breaks down and there’s a crowd of angry villagers with pitchforks and spires, “There’s the witch, I’ve seen sparks and white fog coming from their house time and time again. She’s practising magic.”

“Killian I can’t control it, I don’t know how to get us out.” Emma whispers, panic setting in, her fists are glowing, letting the angry villagers know they’re right about their assumptions.

“Swan. Look at me.” Killian says, using his one hand to turn Emma’s face to his.”Your magic is inside of you. I understand you can’t control it, but I’ve seen you do it before. You can do this, I believe in you.”

Emma takes Killians hand in hers and thinks hard about what she wants. She wants to get home to their family. Killian has been by her side through it all, he’s been her rock, she thinks of his ring and how much she loves him. She feels her power, and focuses on escaping.

Her fists glow brighter, and a second later they disappear in a puff of white smoke, and appear into the great hall of Rumple's Castle.

Emma opens her eyes to see the results of her first time really using her magic.

“You did it Swan!” Killian wraps his arms around her. “You’re bloody brilliant you know that!”

Emma breathes a sigh of relief as she hugs Killian. She did it, she actually did it.

“You wield in magic. I’m impressed.” Rumples' voice tears them from each other’s thoughts about what just happened.

“The villagers found out about us lying. And we were at the centre of a witch hunt. Is there any way the portal can be ready early?” Emma is practically begging, which she never thought she would. This Rumple was far less likely to help them than Gold.

The Dark One just laughs. “Oh I haven’t been working on the portal.”

“Please tell me this is a joke.” Killian half laughs, hoping it wasn’t true.

Rumple raises his eyebrows, “I don’t joke. I’ve been working on a memory potion for myself. I already know too much about the future, can’t know anymore.”

Pressing her lips together to stop her from wringing her hands around his neck, Emma simply asks, “so how do we get home?”

“With this.” He says as a wand poofs into his hand.

“I don’t understand.”

Rumple rolls his eyes at Emma. “You have proven yourself powerful enough these past few months, you are the only one who can replicate the spell that brought you here.”

“So you’re telling me, these past 10 months have been a test? That we didn’t need to make up a fake life and live here?” Killian asks, anger building up.

Rumple laughs. “Of course it was a test! You needed to prove you were powerful enough. And like I said, there was no use for you in my Castle, I already had help.” Emma notices the Castle isn’t as clean as it was 10 months ago, assuming Belle had been captured by Regina by now.

“I’m gonna kill him when we get home.” Emma whispers to herself.

/\/\/\/\

Rumple poofs them into the basement, or the dungeon of his Castle, filled with what was most likely the most dangerous magic and weapons.

The glamour Rumple had put them on had vanished, and they were back in their other clothes, Emma’s leather jacket, her armour was back on and she felt somewhat safe. The wand felt heavy in her hand, it was powerful magic, also likely dark magic if it were able to replicate any spell or curse.

“How do I do this?” She asks Killian.

“You’re the magic one Swan not me.” His tone was cold, what was up with him?

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. Just eager to get home.” He says looking around at the magical objects

Emma lowers the wand and turns to face Killian. “What’s wrong with you?

Avoiding her gaze, he simply says. “Everything changes when we’re home.”

Emma furrows her brow, “What’s changing?” She grabs his hand and forces him to look at her. “Killian, what is going to change?”

“Us, Everything. Your feelings for me. It was nice while it lasted.”

“You think I’m going to leave you when we get back home?” She asks, slightly hurt that he would even think that.

“I’m a Pirate Swan. You think your family of royals and heroes are going to accept me?” Killian was afraid of going home, it wouldn’t just be him and Emma anymore.

“Killian, I love you. And that’s not going away when we get home. I don’t care what my parents think, you have stayed with me all this time. You have a mark in the hero column.” She kisses him, letting him know that while things will be different, things aren’t going to change between them.

As she kisses him, the wand In her hand begins to glow white. Holding Killians hand tight, she raises the wand in the air and thinks of home, and her family.

“You did it Swan.” Killian says, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, looking at the golden shimmering portal which had opened.

“Let’s go home.” She says as she places the wand on the table and grabs Killians hand as they jump into the Portal.

/\/\/\/\

They come through the Portal with a bump. Storybrooke. They’re home.

“We did it! We’re home!” Emma can feel tears coming from her eyes, she didn’t know when she would see home again.

“You did it Swan. You’re bloody amazing.” Killain says picking her up and spinning her around, the same way as when Emma told him she loved him.

“Let’s go. Let’s go find our family.” Killian could almost cry at the way Emma said ‘our’, they may not be married anymore, but she still loved him and they were in this together. Whatever they face next, they face it together.

And so they walk hand in hand to Granny’s to find everyone.

In Storybrooke, only a matter of days had passed, thankfully they hadn’t missed almost a year. But she did miss the official name ceremony of her baby brother, Prince Leo, named after Snow's father.

“So you’re Princess Leia?” Snow asks, as they flick through Henry’s book to find Emma and Killians adventure now in it.

Henry chuckles, “Nice alias Mom!”

“I guess that means you’re finally one of us. A fairytale princess at last.” David says as he muses the picture of Emma and Hook dancing together at the ball.

“So what happened after that? You were there almost a year? What was it like? Did you slay a dragon, or get caught in the ogre war?” Henry asks, wanting to know all about her Enchanted Forest adventure.

Emma rolls her eyes, “Sorry Kid, no dragon slaying or ogres. Gold, or uh Rumple. He wanted to test us, test my magic. So we had to pretend to be a married couple living in a small village out of sight, and I had to work in a tavern for 10 months until my magic returned and I was the focus of a witch hunt.”

“Witch Hunt?”

“Married to Hook?”

Her parents clearly had different reactions to her story.

Emma just laughs, “It was a scary experience all right. But I couldn’t have gotten through it without my ‘husband’. It wasn’t so bad, but I’m so happy to be back at Granny’s, I missed her onion rings.” And she gives Hook a knowing look that causes them both to smile at the memory.

“Wait-are you two?” Henry asks realising the looks and smiles his mother was sharing with Hook.

Emma doesn’t quite know how to react, she wasn’t ashamed, but her family didn't know Killian like she did.

“I’m happy for you Emma. Really.” Snow says, holding out her hands to both Emma and Hook.

“I guess the Pirate isn’t so bad, as long as you don’t hurt her I’m happy.” David fights the urge to say something worse, but in all honesty he was happy for Emma.

“Does this mean Hook can teach me how to sword fight?” Henry asks his grandparents with a grin on his face making Emma smile.

Her family was reunited. She wasn’t alone anymore. She had a family who loved her and wouldn’t leave her. It may have taken time, and a curse, but it was worth it. Henry didn’t bring her to Storybrooke to break some curse, he was bringing her home.

[lilliloves]

I would love to see a s3 prompt where Rio sees dean on a date with another woman; maybe kissing her or something. It causes Rio to consider what he knows about Beth and why she’s been so untrustworthy.

This is LITERALLY the oldest message in my inbox and I’m kind of embarrassed even replying at this point since it was sent so long ago BUT I’m trying to get out of my writing funk so here...have a little drabble that only sort of fulfills this prompt request from long ago! Fair warning the angst level is through the roof. 

Hopefully it’s below the cut but we know how these things go soo...

Rio feels bored. It's a word he usually hates - how can a grown adult ever truly be bored? With his lifestyle especially, he can't remember the last time he didn't have something he could be doing. Sometimes he's just tryin' to survive ... so being bored? Not something he's used to feelin'.

But he does lately - or maybe restless is a better word for it. All he knows is that something has got to give soon or he thinks he might just fuckin' lose it on someone.

He's felt this way before. But every time he's right on the edge something happens that shakes him out of this mood.  It's not always good - sometimes it's really fucking bad - but it puts shit into perspective right when he needs it the very most.

The first time he put a bullet in someone.

The time he turned a hundred grand of fake money into the real cash in his pocket.

The day Marcus was born.

The first time he laid eyes on Elizabeth Boland.

The time he fucked her in a bathroom.

That time she shot him in the fuckin' chest.

The look on her face when he reappeared back into her life like a ghost.

All things that got him feeling alive again - so he's thinking maybe he's due for another moment like that.

He's sitting on a stool at the bar he frequents - the bar he's got a stake in - nursing his third vodka. He stopped wanting after the second but it's easier to sit here with a glass in his hand, pretending. He can see the whole place from where he's at and he has to do a double take the first time he lays eyes on Elizabeth Boland's husband. Or is it ex-husband? He's got no clue and he'll tell himself 'til he's dead that he doesn't give a fuck one way or another. All he knows is that the woman Dean's with is decidedly not Elizabeth but a cute, young blonde. 

Not for the first time he can't understand how the hell this guy gets these women to give him the time of day.

He should add shooting the dickhead to his list of moments because that had been satisfying. It'd been worth the fight, worth the trouble, to see that bullet blow through him, even though he'd known it wouldn't kill him.

  His eyes stay pinned to the table where they sit but his mind can't help but wander to Elizabeth. As much as he tries to forget her when he's not making her life hell it's proved to be a lost cause.

It's been a month since he'd walked into that bar in Rhea's place to give Elizabeth the shock of her life. And it had felt just as satifsyin' as he'd thought it would - to see the look on her face when she saw him standing next to her, very much alive.

He'd threatened and she'd lied straight to his face about a pregnancy that didn't exist. But he'd left, pretended to believe her and then disappeared from her life once again.

Because he knew he'd never kill her but she didn't. So he'd let her stay scared. He'd let her wonder when he'd show up - if he'd show up. 

To be honest, the only reason he hadn't sought her out again was because he didn't know what the fuck to do, didn't know what the fuck to say. For once in his life he didn’t have a plan or an idea - knew what he should do, what people expected him to do, but for maybe the first time ever didn’t have the balls to get the job done.

He hadn't anticipated feelin’ the way he did when he'd seen her again.

He glances back over to Dean and grimaces when he sees his mouth latch on to the blonde's neck. Rio grabs the glass in front of him and drains the contents, pushing back from his seat as he does so. Before he can stop himself, before his mind can catch up with his feet he nods a good-bye to the bartender and walks out of the building.

  He knows where he's goin' but he doesn't acknowledge it 'til his car glides down the quiet, suburban street. 

Doesn't accept it until he's pushin' his way through her back door.

Doesn't regret it until he sees her curled up on the couch, sleepin' soundly, the faint glow of the television the only light in the room.

He stops and before he can figure out his next move she shoots up, confused and out of sorts. Rio watches as her head swings around, down to her lap, towards the TV and then over to where he stands behind her.

Elizabeth doesn't gasp, doesn't scream, just blinks once and then twice as if he's a dream. As if she hopes he's not really there.

Her shoulders drop when she realizes he is and she sits up straighter, looking at him over the back of the couch.

"Took you long enough." She says quietly, her voice still hoarse with sleep.

He smirks and he clocks her surprise when it comes across more like a smile than a sneer.

"Just saw your husband with his hands up a hot, blonde's skirt at my bar." He answers. He figures he wants to hurt her but mostly he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doin’.

She looks startled and then shocked but he thinks it's more 'cause it's the last thing she's expecting him to say.

Elizabeth opens her mouth to respond but closes it just as quickly and he can’t take the silence - it wraps around him and suffocates him enough that words tumble out of his mouth without any rhyme or reason.

"Maybe he'll feel guilty about it when he comes home and finds you bleedin' out." He says with a shrug and if it unnerves her but she doesn't let it show.

He hates that he's impressed - that he's proud at the fact that she ain't beggin' and pleadin' and barterin' for her life.

"Probably not." She shoots back with a scoff, pushing the blanket that lays across her lap onto the floor as she stands.

There's only a couch between them but it might as well be a giant, brick wall.

"Do you want to kill me or do you just feel like you have to?" She asks and her question sets flames ablaze in his chest. Even though he knows she's more nervous than she's lettin' on he ain't proud of her confidence anymore. Ain’t impressed any longer. Now he's just fuckin' annoyed but he can't decide if it's her he can't stand or himself for showin' up here in the first place.

"Did you want to shoot me three times and leave me for dead or did you just feel like you had to?" He mocks, his voice low and rough and sharp around the edges like a knife.  

"Of course I didn't want to." She shouts but it's hushed as her eyes dart towards the stairs and for the first time he remembers her kids are probably sleepin' in their beds one floor above them. 

He tenses when she moves towards him but if he's admitting things to himself he figures it's more 'cause he wants her closer and not 'cause he doesn't.

Elizabeth stops when she's standing right in front of him and he can see her chest heaving, can just make out the way her hands shake by her side and good, he thinks, let her be scared of him. Once upon a time she had been and it had made his life a hell of a lot less chaotic.

Her eyes dip down roaming over his tattoo and his black t-shirt and black jeans and Rio's eyes zero in on the way her tongue sweeps across her bottom lip. He squeezes his hands together, nails piercing the skin of his palms, to keep from reaching out to sweep her hair behind her ear or do something stupid like follow the path her tongue just had with his thumb.

She lifts her hands, slowly as if she's tryin' not to catch him off guard and before he can even get ahead of her, figure out her next move, she's wrapping her arms around his waist and her fingers are inching underneath his shirt, brushing against his skin sending goosebumps across his body and she’s dipping her hands into the waistband of his pants and - 

Yeah he figures out her game just about the same time she figures out that her theory was right - he don't have his gun tucked into it's usual spot because he'd left it buried in his glove compartment box with no intentions of usin' it on her tonight.

Or ever. 

Her eyes shoot up to his and he forces himself to stare back at her. Her hands are frozen, wrapped around him and he’s tense, torn between the overwhelming need to push her off of him and pull her against him.

“Get the fuck off me.” He finally forces himself to say but it’s through gritted teeth and the half hard erection between them proves his words are only words.

She listens though, dropping her arms and stepping back but only just enough.

"Don’t get comfortable.” He says - because he may not kill her but he’s certainly not done with her. 

And when she bites the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling he thinks she might be glad about that.