#it'll probably be a shit show
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Hanging out with family this week, chilling and having a good time.
I find out that one of my cousins has made a D&D one shot that he wants to run. Obviously that's the type of thing I like talking about, so I seek him out.
My first question is "What edition are you running?" to which he responds
"There are editions?"
I was quite taken aback by this because I assume if you know enough to run a game, you know what the game actually is. It legitimately took me 5 minutes of questioning to determine that he will be running a (modified) version of 5e.
Anyway, I predict that drunk aunts will completely derail the session in the first 30 minutes. But I wish him luck none-the-less!
#it'll probably be a shit show#I've run some decent 3.5 one shots for my family in the past#but I was selective about my players#and generally more knowledgable and experienced#this cousin is not a detail oriented person to say the least
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Why the fuck are people on Twitter upset about nonbinary robots. Transformers are aliens, why would they follow another species gender binary based on reproduction when they don't even reproduce sexually. If anything, ALL the robots should use they/them.
#liz blogs#transformers#i need to finish earthspark#conservatives won't survive when aliens come to earth#imagine going to another planet and trying to translate pronouns#but either theres more than two or theyre not based on reproduction#how do you figure out if youre a glerp or a blongo or a dee when you dont even have a yundle#and guess what else. if the robots all have one gender. and they use different Earth Pronouns#that dont line up with - in conservative terms - the pronouns they Should have#guess what. all the robots are trans now.#this is probably fucking incoherent i just woke up but man i hate when people think the universe revolves around humans#smash the gender binary to pieces#i write this from an angle to shit on their stupid argument i know nonbinary people can use gendered pronouns as well#the point is its hard to translate. frankly we also deserve big macho bots picking she her because it sounds nice#and little femmebots picking he him because it sounds cool and they want to seem Tough in earth terms#hasbro hire me i love robots and I'll write a transformers show so good it'll make conservatives literally explode
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Did you hate the season 2 finale? Are you still looking forward for season 3 because of it or are you turned off of looking forward for any tv show good omens from now on?
What season 2 finale? Good Omens has never been adapted into a TV show. I love the book tho!
#I'm craaaaaaazzzzyyyyyyy ahahahahahahahaha#In seriousness to answer your question#Of course I hated it! Every book fan I know hated it!#The past few days has really sucked with miscellaneous Good Omens and also work stuff and it's just shit it's shit it's shit#I hope season 3 never happen now! I think it'll be hilarious that this is the final ending that show fans get :D#All my friends have been getting my full rant for the past few days#Anyways that was so bad and OOC I've been avoiding Tumblr for the past few days#Because every time I came on I have to fight back the strong urge to delete all my show Omens art#And I've promised myself I wouldn't delete my art under any circumstances before because I used to hate when artists I like did that#Anyways I'm not gonna delete art. But I probably wouldn't post anything Show Omens related from now on. Unfollow me if you want#good omens critical
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As someone who loves Hazbin.... I agree with you, the show gets way more credibility than it should. I have watched the show a dozen times and there are still details I miss because the pacing of the animation is god awful. The animation gets praise because the characters are over animated while standing around - but during action scenes it goes by so fast you can't see anything!!
Please keep the hate up, fans need to be humbled.
incredibly rare W for the hazbin fandom, you are an inspiration to us all 🫡 thank you for being Based and also Very Cash-Money, i will continue hating as normal
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(but seriously thank you, that first sentence scared the shit out of me so I'm glad to be pleasantly surprised ^^ i'm ashamed to admit that i STILL have not actually sat down and watched the show because I only JUST got over my obsession with it & idk if i wanna risk summoning the brain fungus again)
#reply#anonymous#hazbin hotel critical#i feel like a fake hater since i havent actually watched proper#i mean ive seen clips so there are some things i know in isolation#plus theres some stuff you can glean from dashboard osmosis#but like. it'll always be something that can be held against me#the hypocrisy of hating on something i havent technically watched yet#'what are you scared youll like it?' yeah kinda! actually! im also scared its gonna be such shit that i fall into a hate-spiral#or worse still: both of those things happen at the same time#because as much as i hate this show from an artists POV it still does scratch a specific itch#like if i wasnt an artist myself... and if i was also like 15 right now.... id probably be an unironic fan tbh
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How do I say, without coming across as a jaded miserable little bitch who likes raining on everybody's parade, that the PJO Disney plus adaption is nostalgia bait, in the same way that their live action remakes are
#it'll probably be good#it sounds like its gonna be a pretty faithful adaption#im not denying that#but#20-30 something year old you ARE being pandered to by the Walt Disney Corporation#its fine to be excited for it. just so long as we are all aware of whats happening#also we gotta stop acting like mr riordan is some underdog in this situation#hes written one of the most successful teen lit series of all time#and in disney's current quirky girl phase of grasping hold of anything that already has a following#of COURSE they snatched this shit up#''Percy Jackson. A Disneyplus original.''#do you have any idea just how much theyre salivating to have their name attached to this series?#(tbf the books were owned by disney too. but a streaming service makes their link to the franchise all the more evident)#anyway. maybe i sometimes get a little bitter when i think about all the original projects in production that were abruptly cancelled#usually because of the current fear to take risks and put something new into the world#and then i remember adaptions like are going ahead#there is no risk associated the pjo series. the first few books are relatively squeaky clean for a teenage audience#this is a comfortable direction for them to go in#''but but but theres gay people in it'' hush. disney is not afraid of captilizing on the gay experience#also im pretty sure the gay people dont show up until like. 8 books in#thats 8 seasons#can you imagine#''guys we need to keep giving this show our support so we can eventually get solanjello (or whatever its called)''#ooooh theyre quite evil. very interesting#even tho like. dont worry you'll get your gay people eventually. you'll get all your book adaptions. you'll get all those seasons.#this franchise is disneys new pet#you can smell it#the hype. the cast announcements. the promotion#LIN MANUEL MIRANDA???#theyre going to squeeze every last drop of engagement they can get out of it
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Anyway I let the Cowboy Brianrot ™ fully take me and I ordered a print signed by Roger for the Streamly event in February.
#I'm tempted to buy a really stupid and kitschy cowboy frame for it when it arrives#Because my brand of autism makes me love the absurd#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#roger clark#also i have shit short term memory so by the time it happens and shows up after i'll probably have forgotten about it#so it'll be like a surprise
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Bought a stupid suit thing. Disgustang.
#speculation nation#i got it on sale but it was still kinda expensive. ughhhh#hates every part of that. it's so stiff and uncomfortable and unnatural feeling.#but business professional is the recommended attire... so to that i went...#felt bad staying so close to close but the employees were nice about it at least. and i still got out b4 they closed (barely)#i wanted to go shopping earlier today. in between class and orchestra. but allegedly attendance is required in the lab.#so i went. didnt really feel like attendance was taken. but i still went.#still gotta finish prepping my resume but i dont think itll take Too long... i got a template to follow#from my web coding class actually. bc we just happen to have a resume building assignment this week.#so by working on my resume im working on the lab!! yay!!!#except im not doing the lab resume rn. just the normal resume. the template is still helpful tho.#also need to do a bit of research into the companies that are there and the interview style thingie#GOD this is going to be a whole hassle. i dont wanna wrinkle my stupid suit so i shouldnt stuff it in a bag.#and i dont wanna BIKE in the stupid suit. so im thinking of driving up to campus. forking over the money for guest parking#do the stupid career fair then drive back home to change and then go back up to campus on bus or bike in time for bowling#hopefully. we hope. nonzero chance of having to miss bowling and web coding classes tho. depending on how long i spend at this thing.#ultimately career bullshit is more important than one day of bowling so like. whatever.#but i still want a reward for sucking it up and going to the stupid career fair anyways. even tho i Really dont want to.#im already planning on skipping my first class. he made it sound like it would be fine + expected. so we can go to the career fair.#and that opens up a good amount of time so. doing that. and then hoping i can make it to bowling class...#it's funny to imagine if i didnt have time to go back home to change. me showing up to bowling in a suit.#im not doing that tho. this shit was too expensive to risk it doing physical activity.#BLARGH i am so supremely grumpy going to this thing. i dont want to. at all. i hate all this Professional Attire bullshit.#but i need to... and i already went thru the hassle of getting the damn suit... might as well just go.#i will simply pout and grumble the whole way. until tomorrow where it'll be full social smiles and whatever the fuck.#need to get enough sleep to make talking easier. no time for any fun stuff tonight.#need to find my damn. razor. bc i need to shave my little mustache thing probably. for 'professionalism'. ugh.#kicking and screaming this whole way. man i dont think i even own an ironing board. gonna have to hang the shit up and hope for the best#longest sigh imaginable... i just wanna write....... or play video games...... wahhhh#at least itll be over tomorrow. but then i will have to do presentation stuff for thursday. ughhhhhh
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your top 15 favourite tv shows can say a lot about your personality
Tagged by @kuhakukage
Let's go besties :
1. Courage the Cowardly Dog
2. Danny Phantom
3. Teen Titans
4. Teen Wolf
5. Inuyasha
7. Tokyo Ghoul
8. Shen He Ling/Word of Honor
9. Australia's next top model
10. Brooklyn 99
11. How to get away with murder
No tags all the besties can come list their favourite shows so i can get some good tv show recs thank yew.
#bear with me it'll take me some more years to reach 15 tv shows probably#cz im a hater i like watching shows just to analyze and criticise the hell out of them until they disintegrate inside my brain#so u can imagine the kind of stress i am under when i try to list shows I like when i cant even remember what i watched#these are the shows that I'd actually rewatch#i don't usually like to rewatch stuff because i feel like my head will explode if im not seeing new things#ok but now that i think about it what DOES it say about my personality#only 2 of the shows on this list are from my adult life lmao#fried braincell things#for HTGAWM i love Annalise Keating. viola Davis is IT she's the icon she IS the moment i love her.#amd also my girl Michaela pratt got me through college i am her she is me (academically)#b99 is beautiful perfect amazing i love it#on that note Andre braugher we miss you thank you for all that you did#i also love Gina and was annoyed asf when she was taken out of the show#currently im watching the vampire diaries and shit is not hitting im gonna be honest#I'm currently watching 3 series and reading 2 books at once so u can imagine why my brain is fried
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i am missing levi so badly, i've been deprived of seeing him on my screen for over a year......
#shitrambles#chaloveslevi#levi ackerman#muahfromcha!! ☆#attack on titan#I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THE REST OF THE MANGA ANIMATED#ive been following aot for the past 3 years and i have been a changed woman since.#it'll be such a bittersweet end though...#like im hoping that even after the show has ended#that the fandom will still flourish on here#HOPING!!!!#i love indulging in this man w my fellow mooties and followers D:#we cannot stop.....#idk when id ever retire from my blog completely#if anything id probably leave it for archive but still like stuff on my dash#so partially active ig#idk im just shitting out thoughts rn im gonna catch up on some anime tonight!! ><
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realizing I have an issue where I hold onto feelings too long and then they start to fester and I start to resent some people because of it. it's so unhealthy and it really makes the mental health worse
#if i. could communicate better. it would probably solve a lot of my problems#but im still convinced i can just repress everything and it'll go away#unfortunately i was raised to not say shit tho#and that letting anxiety and depression eat me alive is better than showing vulnerability#i really hate who i am as a person.#ari speaks
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on one hand coming up with oc lore sleepy is one of the most liberating things. you can just turn off any anxiety before you start and let loose. but on the other hand it also means I notice how much my personal tastes really bleed in way more than normal within the same stretch of time
#''ooh yes I'm gonna make an alternate form that someone has to work to get this character to go into#and it'll be this huge accomplishment and the character is going to be free from their trauma for a while after#and ooooh what if one of the changes is them getting bigger to show they're sort of growing back into themself again--#wait shit. this is the same allegory I keep doing isn't it''#and then I do it anyway because I know who I am and frankly I would probably like anything else less
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ain't no way my father's had a desktop pc he isn't using all this time..
#“yeah it didn't work with the systems at work so we don't use it” AND YOU JUST LEFT IT THERE???#YOU LEFT THAT BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS ON A BOAT IN THE OCEAN TO ROT AND GET WATER DAMAGE????#am i a joke to you 😭 anyway he's gonna see about bringing it home..#i'm not sure if it'll be a good pc but hell it'll at least be more customizable than the fuckass laptop i have#i'll probably be able to at least change the ram. hopefully#admittedly i don't know shit about desktop pcs because they're like ×3 the price of laptops so i haven't even bothered. BUT GIRL I'LL LEARN#this is like in tv shows when something drops in the protagonists lap. are there cameras
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Day of Blood is making my head hurt and giving me the Tom & B'Elanna interactions I absolutely didn't ask for but also confirms my own suspicions re: their marriage lmao (It ain't looking too great folks they're still having the same arguments they had on Voyager)
#jacen reads ST comics#please save me from this hell#please save B'Elanna from this hell#it is a time for shushing FOREVER!!!#pls make that man shush#not tagging my dislike for this man when I'm not putting shit in a public tag lmao#(it'll probably show in full search tho)
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How do you make your stamps? :0
Disclaimer: this is an obscenely long explanation, with pictures. Efficiency is stupid
So, for the static ones, I make a 99x56 px file on ibis paint x. Other programs are probably available online but I don't use them.
After that, I either upload an image I want to make into a stamp, or I draw one.
Then, I find a frame I want to use. Ill upload them here but let it be known I stole all of these right from deviantart
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Most of them are from Lil-Devil-Melii on deviantart. The rest i have no idea. They're not all 99x56px but you can crop the canvas it's fine
Make sure to erase the edges of the picture , so they're transparent. It's not as cute otherwise
Upload those frames over your image in whatever art program you're using and viola, stamp.
For moving ones, it's a lot harder. Mostly because I refuse to download Photoshop.
There are a couple ways to do this. Some are simple animations, like with flashing text and whatnot. For these, you download the individual animation frames from your art program. Make sure it's transparent.
Then, upload each frame to ezgif.com under the option "GIF maker." You can play around with how fast each frame goes and whatnot but in the end, it'll be a stamp with some rad text that moves. This is easy, and doesn't make me want to shit my pants and cry. If you're new, do this. This is fun. This is good. This does not kill me inside
I made that↓ stamp with this method :)
this next one is how we turn gifs into stamps. This one makes me sad. It involves math and sucks. But we gotta do it. For the vibe
First, grab your gif. I'm using this cow gif because it's awesome
Then, I resize it using ezgif. Literally everything for this will be using ezgif. I am a simple man
At this point you should decide what frame to use. I'm using this one because its the first one I clicked
Figured out what size the inside of the frame is. That's what I resize the gif to, so the edges can be transparent. The inside of this one is 93x50 px, so those are the dimensions I'm making the gif.
Figure it out by putting the frame into ibis paint and realizing the canvas to fit just the inside of the frame, then seeing what the dimensions are. But there could be easier ways
Woah it's so small now
Then, still on ezgif, I go to the "crop" option.
Make sureeee to upload the smaller gif
press the button that says "extend canvas size", and then put the "width" and "height" as the dimensions for your FRAME. This'll put a bit of a transparent border around the gif. For this frame, I did 99px and 56px.
The "left" and "top" boxes show how many pixels the cropping happens from the edges of the canvas. The formula for finding that is
(width of gif / 2) - (difference between gif width and frame width / 2) = left box
For me it's (93 / 2) - (6 / 2) = 43.5
Then you do the same.for the height, which for me ends up being 22 from the top
This is reallyyy touchy and annoying though
Here's my result , with no visible difference
Okay so THEN you go to the "overlay" option, under "effects." And upload your frame. If the cropping was done right, you shouldn't have to move the frame at all and can just download it
Here's my result:
if you don't care about transparency, you can resize your gif to be the same size as the frame, and then put the frame over it. But I'm a slut for transparency
Anyways. I'm sorry if anything was unclear, it's two am. And I hope this was helpful :) these really are fun to make once you get it down
also if anyone has an easier way to make stamps from gifs, please god tell me
#web graphics#old web#neocities#custom#custom blinkies#stamps#page decor#web resources#da stamps#deviantart stamps#blinking gif#How to#tutorial#How to make stamps#Spacehey#deviantart#rentry graphics#old internet#early internet#stamp collecting#ezgif#stamp making#stamp template#Stamp frames#blinkies
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My Baby's Fit Like A Daydream
husband!pedro pascal x younger!reader
summary: your relationship is finally out to the world. now, pedro and you will explore what it feels like to have your love out in the open.
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, FLUFF, the empire of bad humor strikes again, hurt/comfort bc all roads lead back to angst, a brief mention of bodyshaming, this is lowkey pwp my bad, dirty talk, fingering, p. in v., bathroom sex ijbol, exhibition kink (they be fucking everywhere but in a bed), degradation kink (he calls her a slut twice), the one and only creampie (twice), so naturally: breeding kink, ALSO pls stop the husband!pedro reqs, i beg. a delulu girl can only take so much 💔
word count: 10,991 words
side note: not one but two requests to be fullfilled! this is as a sequel to call it what you want. also, spam time: i happen to write in wattpad as well, and i have a pedro pascal social media fic going on :) but it's on spanish tho. if u speak the language and would like to tune in, read it here AND spam again but speaking of the ptwt dynamic, why don't we become moots? check my (new) stan twitter account here (i had one in 2022 that i had since 2016 but entered a crisis and deleted it lol)
part: prev | masterlist | next
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The news had spread like wildfire.
As soon as you hit the red carpet, hand on hand, rings finally on display―shining under the spotlight, your phone had been blowing up nonstop: every show, podcast, tabloid, news outlet and social media had been talking about it. California had turn into an easter egg playground; everyone was eager to know it all.
(They had found the church where you married, the dress boutique, jewelry shop where Pedro bought the rings―the employees ratted him out, even sharing pictures of the moment, your husband posing with them without knowing of the future treason. They too had found the place where the reception took place, and even the name of the priest who had married you, but he refused to give the hungry press any details. God Bless)
In short, it had been a hell of a week. You figured dissapearing for a while was for the best, but with some interviews still left, that option had been discarded. Still, doesn't mean you couldn't retreat for a couple of days to the tranquility of your home while it was time to show up again. Well, as peaceful as it could get, since reporters were camping near your house and roaming around Hollywood Hills like vultures; the neighbour's nagging was just another layer of problems in your shit cake.
"I'm sorry, Louis. Walks will be postponed for a while" you talk to your cat, but the lazy bastard just stretches and lays down again. "Yeah, I can see you're affected. Don't cry"
"It's not the cat's fault" Pedro emerges from behind, "don't take it out on him"
He takes a sit next to you, two mugs in hand. He gives you the one with a chocolate steam, a souvenir he bought when you visited your home country last summer. You wonder if that's a trip you'll ever be able to make again.
"I'm not. Just- It's horrible that I can't even go outside my own house and walk the same roads I've walked in four years because the press is hidden with cameras in, I don't know, bushes!" you exclaim, quiet rage carried within your words. "It's unfair, really. All I want is to walk my damn cat without a flash up my ass"
Pedro nestles his face in your neck, nose carressing the skin. Giggles leave your lips, the sensation ticklish.
"It'll pass. It always does" he says, voice assuring, probably because he's used to the violation of privacy, but you're not. Getting bigger, is this the price to pay for making a name for yourself and claiming out loud who you love?
"I hope so" you murmur above the quietness of your home, a sound as eerie as fake, devoid of it's tranquil nature as a world of invasion awaits outside.
"Do you trust me?" Pedro speaks, voice unwavering. He holds your gaze, steady brown challening your shaky orbs.
"I do" you speak up, yet you wish you could believe it. You believe in him, there's no question to that, but do you believe in yourself? That the love you'd put out to the world would be treated with the same care and respect you have treated it in secret? For a fleating moment, you miss the secrecy.
"Then trust me this will be over sooner than expected" he presses a kiss to your lips, soft and sweet, feeling remanents of chocolate he licks away, as you mockingly yell ¡Qué sucio! but it's devoid of malice. "In time, this will become another anecdote we'll share with our kids, and laugh with our grandkids when we get older"
You smile, feeling tears in the corner of your eyes. Oh, doesn't he turn you into a pathetic sappy wife?
"Well" you sniffle, giggling to push back the tears away. "About the old part..."
He playfully kicks your side. "Uno ya no puede ser romántico, que le salen con estas cosas. Your generation could use some respect, you know?" (one can't simply be romantic anymore)
Pedro gets up, picking the mug from your hands as both rings brush together, the gold shinning under the morning Californian sun.
"And your generation could take a joke" you quip, lips curled up like you hadn't in weeks.
"Very funny, y/n. Thought you loved me" but then he's pressing a kiss to your temple like kissing you once isn't enough, promising to return after washing down the mugs.
"I do!" you shout to his dissapearing broad frame as he enters the kitchen, and he playfully makes a dissmissing move with his palm.
The laughing dies when your phone chimes next to you.
You shouldn't really, but the curiosity that draws you in is as intense as a magnet. The phone burns on its position, screaming for you to open it, despite being told by your husband that the best was choice was to ignore it until the buzz had died down, but you're afraid the turmoil isn't nowhere to be finished. Comments can be mean, he'd said, they can hurt you. Pedro said he'd learn with time to ignore it, but he was experienced. You weren't, so naturally, as your husband and protector, he wanted to shield you from the pain.
Although, both of your fandoms had been pretty supportive of your relationship, some user even claiming to suspect it, making threads full of easter eggs and connections that validated the theory which was now a reality. I've connected the dots, followed by pictures of you sharing wardrobe, slips on interviews, similar backgrounds in your posts across social media, and of course, the two Gladiator Ii interviews. Many resorted to making edits or screaming over your pictures in the premiere, demanding for more content you had yet caved in to share (there was a gigantic carpet of evidence sitting heavy in your cloud).
So, in a way, this support made it hard for you to truly dimension the hate Pedro warned you about: all you saw was fans being happy and showering you with love, making paparazzi to be the only problem as for now.
That's it.
You cave in, turning the phone on as you bite your lip, searching first your Instagram: a bunch of new followers, many with variations of ispunk on their usernames, as well as a swarm of comments on your recent posts. There's a small voice in your head telling you to turn away, but your thumb moves without thinking, clicking on pictures of the red carpet���a carrousel of you and then a picture of you both at the end, one fans had been gushing about the last couple of days, rings on display, practically up their noses. You were smiling, and Pedro was looking at you fondly, his other hand holding Lux but his gaze never leaving yours; he was too perfect to be real―yours.
You unconsciously smile at the captured moment, love obvious on your faces, so you open the comments, thinking it would be the same support or love radiating of the comment.
But boy, weren't you wrong?
It was all the same, support lost between waves of hate. Variations of bodyshaming, age shaming and even gold digger claims were on full display across the comment section. "She's ugly" "In it for the money, am I right?" "I thought Pedro had better taste, lol" "She got the role in Gladiator II because of nepotism. Or cocksucking" and then a cruel answer that read "Right, threesome with Ridley. Ew, what a whore!"
Worst of it all, some even had Pedro profile pictures, or usernames and accounts dedicated to him.
Your heart was beating like crazy, chest heavy and hollow, face red with emotions you couldn't quite place (embarrasment? fear? rage? sadness?) as you kept searching across Twitter*, doing a quick skim of the trendings that included you. The same hate speech pattern was all over the timeline, some betting for divorce in a couple of years (even months!), while others took their time dissecting your looks and relationship. As if they knew. Long gone were the edits and harmless threads: the hate wave was here to stay. Some where even being a bit racist, the irony of it all, being Pedro himself was latino and didn't shy away from it, rather proud as he didn't miss an opportunity to shot out his dear Chile. Or any social issue, as a matter of fact, very vocal on his political beliefs.
This was fucking ridiculous, and if the cameras were an issue, this swarm of negativity is what really took a toll on you, the flashes as you went grocery shopping now barely a scratch. No, this was worst. All you wanted to do was cuddle in a blanket while wearing one of Pedro's shirts and dissappear. Too much noise. Too much hate. You can feel it creeping up your body, tainting your soft curves, wrinkles, acne scars and face. It's like rough hands, tugging harsh, ripping your vocals because you can't scream; no words to express this pain.
You knew one day it would come, but never imagined the hurt and to what extent people were capable of. Cruelty. Dissecting your life and body like it was a show for them to be entertained: your marriage was a circus and your body a joke.
It hurt their condescending dismiss of your love, questioning as if the gap were only numbers and not a pillar of your relationship that made you and Pedro closer, despite the bridge in age. You were reduced to a middle-age crisis, and he to a filthy man pinning for a younger girl. Your body was turn apart, despite no real flaws existing. Humans are meant to be so, not perfect, but real, and that was the problem: you had turn into an object―a target for their dards to pierce through.
Your body shakes violently with cries, deafening your ears that you don't hear when Pedro walks in.
"Why are you crying?" he rushes to your side, panic on his voice. "What happened? Are you hurt?"
You barely manage to shake your head, and then his eyes scan all over your features, until they land on the phone on your hands. The worry turns to anger as he asks:
"You looked at them, didn't you?"
He isn't yelling, but it would be better if he did. This contained fury, fading into dissapointment, as if you were a naive child scolded by their parents makes you feels small and stupid, as if you knew no better.
"I'm sorry-" you manage to choke out among tears, "I know you told me-"
"I told you" he interrupts, words laced with wrath, "so this wouldn't happen. See what happens?"
"Why are you talking to me like it's my fault?" you yell, and Pedro sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation. "I didn't ask to receive all this! Do I deserve the death threats, shame and hate?"
He walks past you, and it's like a slap to your face. Was he going to behave like this? Didn't it matter how you felt, or was it something childish that could be brush to the side like nothing? Insecurities you hadn't even think of come crashing down on you, doubts creeping up and attacking you from all sides. It's horrible. You try to hold onto the good memories, praying you don't loose him. You can't. You just can't.
"Answer!" you demand, tears spilling like a broke dam.
"I was just closing the windows. Or do you want to fuel the talk, huh? Give the hungry hoard more to bite?" Pedro then stands to hold your gaze, and you hate that you can't place his emotions. Anxiety corrodes your brain: was this really the beginning of the end?
"Do I?" you dare to speak up, and even if its loud, it comes out drowned, the exhaustion from the emotional turmoil taking its toll on you. "Do I deserve it?"
"No, you don't, carajo!" Pedro bursts. "You don't deserve any of that, which is why I didn't want you looking at those things!"
He sighs, realizing the anger is misdirected.
"I'm sorry"
Your broken wails are the only thing to be heard. He hates himself for being a part of it, even if not the biggest.
"No, I'm sorry for being so stupid" you sob. "I-I just wanted for people to be as happy for us as I am with you"
"Come here" but he's the one cutting the space to embrace you.
His scent calms a part of you, body still rocking with violent shakes.
"You're not stupid. Nor ugly, or any of those things people are calling you. No, mi amor. You're beautiful, smart and talent. They fail to realize I'm the lucky one. So please, don't be hard on yourself, yeah? I can't bear to see it. Less if I know it's not true. You didn't ask for it; you don't deserve all that bullshit"
He presses a kiss to your temple, arms that hug you tighter holding you close close up to the point his heartbeat melts within your own.
I won't let you go. You won't fall as long as I got you.
"We'll get through this, yeah? Think of the future, and what's to come. It's hard, that I know, but let us enjoy the moment. Life is too precious to waste it away" he brushes stray tears with his thumb, softly and full of love that words aren't enough to express. "I'm here" the out loud, "and I'm not going anywhere. That's a promise"
Later that day, Pedro posts a carrousel of unseens, even one of your wedding (a video of your first dance), telling people to leave you alone. That he loves you, and that no malicious news, fans or comments will ever change that―suck it energy laced within his rageful statement.
Safe to say, in the next weeks, hate is barely a small voice whispering in the back of your neck, one that hushes down with each kiss and/or words uttered by your one and only devoted husband.
mandoshoney: y/n protection squad pull up, we ride at dawn starlightt180: unhing3dprincess WHERE ARE U??? PTWT IS IN SHAMBLES AND NEEDS U MY SHAYLAAAAAAAAAA elysyannemimi: i feel like a kid scolded by their dad. pedro has achieved the ultimate daddy status bobgirlll: is no one going to talk about how rageful/protective pedro sounded in that story????? NEED MORE FERAL PEDRO RN GRRrrrr ps. photos so cute, wish that was me lol pyramiidsf: i hope y/n is okay, ppl can be so cruel sometimes but at least she's got pedro on her side <3 he's such a perfect man :,)
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It had been days since your fight.
In an sweet attempt to cheer you up, Pedro had taken you out for dinner to a fancy restaurant you can't remember the name of. If they'll snap pictures of my wife without my permission, I might as well show you off. So, per his petition, you had wore a little black dress that hugged every curve of your body perfectly and pushed your tits to the top. Stunning, he had growled, and it had been hard to push him off as he devoured your mouth in your house's doorstep.
"Let's give them talk" you had agreed.
So now you sat at the restaurant, Pedro filling your cup of wine for the third time in a row, talking about all and nothing: about politics, the weather, your siblings, Louis the cat, upcoming gigs around your home you wanted to go to, how support had risen and the hate had dwindled, the numerous calls of job offers and interviews to keep on milking your relationship... life had never been more hectic.
"You know, maybe the dress was a bad idea" he takes a bite of his meat, tone nonchalant.
"Yeah?" you challenge, cheeks flushed with alcohol, "why's that? I thought I had to look good. What changed your mind?"
"Turns out" he looks at you, gaze piercing through your body, brown warm eyes darkening, "I figured something"
You know your husband. It's still fresh in your mind the first day you took a notice of it: jaw clenching, gaze fixated at nothing and white fists balled up on to the sides, arms swinging while fingers itched. A vein on his forehead would pop, and brows would melt together in a furrow. It happened when you got recognized by a fan, on your early days, and he had taken a picture of you, uploading it to social media. Dating Pedro had been going on for little to five months, and the way this guy hugged you from behind, hand resting above your ass, had made your then-boyfriend see red. His posture stiffened, demeanor changed and face adquired all the characteristics above. There was only one correct answer: Pedro was jealous, so fucking jealous.
So here he is now, jealous to the bone, alcohol increasing the rage.
"And that is?" you push his buttons, something you normally wouldn't do, but you're drunk and God, so sex-starved. His possesive side was always hot, yet now? It had a layer of allure it didn't have before, the idea of calming him down long lost.
"You know what it is" he answers, but you tilt your head to the side, acting confused. Pedro growls, clenching the glass a bit too tight; you fear it'll break.
"No, I don't" you serve more wine in your glass, savouring the liquid. Some spills into your mouth, and you lick it while not breaking eye contact. "Enlighten me"
"Turns out" the words come out strained, a whirlwind of emotions burning in the tip of his tongue, "that I wanted people to look at my wife, but I looked their looks and realized I don't like how they look at her"
He rambles the words out, speech pattern slurred and ideas clashing into one another, clearly drunk.
"I see" you draw out, demeanor calm, but your panties have started to get wet.
"No" he hits the table, making your eyes go wide and people turn to your table. You should be embarrased, but you're only aroused. "You don't see what I see. And I hate it, I fucking hate it" he seethes, words spit out over your unfinished meal.
"Dessert?" the waiter appears from seemingly nowhere, menu on hand.
Pedro doesn't even look when he answers, "Sure. Bring your best"
"The chef's suggestion is Soufflé, a classic dessert from his country"
"That'll do" Pedro looks at you, but his brain seems to be somewhere else. Like he's thinking. "How long will it take?"
The waiter ponders the answer, yet doesn't think any weird of it.
"About twenty to thirty minutes. Would that be alright? Or would you prefer to switch to one of our quick-fixes? They're as delicious as our fresh and-"
"No" your husband interrupts, eyes shinning with something akin to dangerous. "We'll take the soufflé. Just want my wife to eat the very best"
The waiter smiles. "Sure, will be back in a few. More wine?"
Pedro stops the action, removing the bottle's neck from pouring more red liquid in your glass.
"Won't be needed"
They excuse themselves, leaving both of you alone. The restaurant bubbles with chat and instrumental music from a band playing on a corner, but all you hear is his heavy breathing and your heart.
"I wanted more wine" you pout, not even knowing why you said it.
He smiles devilishly. "I'll give you something better than that"
How does it happen, you have no idea, but then Pedro gets up with a brash move, chair making a sound that draws attention. He smirks, his auburn reflecting on the candle glowing in the center with a light that's menacing.
"I'm going to the bathroom" an announcement that feels like a threat that runs through the newfound tension; it could be cut with even a butterknife.
You sit there in silence, too stunned to speak. Your phone chimes in what feels like an hour (it's been a few minutes, probably three). You open the notification, a single text from Pedro.
I'm waiting.
So this was his plan all along, huh? Maybe he's gotten bored of sex on a bed and room like normal couples, because ever since that time you sucked his dick in his trailer, Pedro has shown an appetite for public sex. Well, more like just shown but never done. Guess that changes as of tonight.
I'm coming.
Truth is, after the reveal and fight, you hadn't had sex since that time before the London premiere. Press tour hadn't finished, and the movie was still playing in theathers, but it feels much longer the time you had gone without having his dick rearranging your insides. That changes as of tonight.
You practically leap out of your sit, rushing to the restroom, which is too fancy for your liking. You're unsure how to proceed, and it should be because you realized how stupid and reckless this is, but it's more because you don't know which door Pedro is behind: men or women.
You knock softly on the ladies room first. "I'm here" you speak, voice small.
After a few seconds, a muffled voice from behind replies: "Me too"
You giggle as he pulls you inside, mouth devouring yours in a hot kiss.
"The lock!" you squeal, yet Pedro is busy buring his face between your breasts, pulling the dress down until he's nipping at the skin before licking the spot with his tongue. Your back is pressed against the tiled white wall, cold meeting your now heating skin.
"Mmm, missed this" he mumbles in a drunken state. "Needed my girls so bad"
His words elicit a moan out of you, a way to comunicate that your body too had been aching for this.
"Please, Pedro-" you whimper, trying to get rid of the pretty dress. He doesn't say it, but his movements command for power, big hands dragging your dress down until the black cloth falls to the floor in a sound filled with grace, it feels merciful.
"Black panties? But I thought I was a man with a plan" he groans, calloused digits ghosting over the wet patch in the middle. He smells your arousal off his fingers, and this is so nasty but you're so into it.
"Two can play" is all you answer, eager fingers unbuckling his belt as you unbutton the formal pants and pull them down to his knees, so with his underwear.
"Sure thing" he chuckles darkly. "Just look at you, baby. So loud, but you gotta be quiet. ¿Quieres que alguien entre y te vea así? Fucking slut, begging for my cock" (do you want someone to come in and see you like this?)
He's always been sweet-talking you through sex, and you know he doesn't mean it aside from being lewd words, but you also didn't know you could be aroused by it. Change is welcome, to say the least.
His hard dick is immediately stroking at the apex of your thighs, like he's got no time to loose, kissing you roughly like he hasn't eat and your mouth is his meal.
"Twenty minutes" he grumbles, groaning.
"Or thirty" you add, whining when his cock brushes dangerously close to your dripping folds.
"Can't believe you're this wet already" he chuckles, but it sounds more like a breathy sigh, lost in the inside of your mouth.
"I've been wet since before we left the house and you kissed me"
"And I kissed you" he adds. "No sé ni por qué putas te traje si sólo quería quedarme en casa y comerte" (i don't know why the fuck i took you out if all i wanted was to stay at home and eat you out)
You moan at his dirty mouth, clicking your tongue as a way to say so.
"You dirty old man-" it dies in your throat when he glides inside your folds with ease, a finger slipping in, then two, as he curls them. Your head rolls back, landing against the door with a hollow thud.
"Dirty? But you enjoy this, don't you?" his fingers buried up your hilt. Your eyelids flutter, whimpering drowned by your lips, bitten so deep you think you start to taste blood. "Bad news, mami. You're as dirty as me"
You choke in your words. "No-"
"No what?" Pedro mocks, sliding his digits out of you and shoving them inside his mouth, sucking on them while looking at you. You whine at the display and loss of them, knowing he's tauting you for fun. "Don't tell me you don't want someone to come in here and see you acting like a dirty slut? To see you almost coming here and now with just two of my fingers"
"Fine. What if I want to, huh? Just give me your damn cock already and quit teasing"
Words were lewd, but Pedro smiles with adoration.
"That's my girl"
His length springing free to slap against his now smooth stomach, your mouth drooling.
"Sit"
He glares back, "in the toilet?"
"Well, do you happen to see a couch or bed?" you quip. "That's right: you were the one who chose the bathroom, desperate old man. So needy, aren't you?"
You see your husband turning around, ashamed, and you laugh. "I didn't think it through" and you avoid to add a that's quite obvious snarky type of reply.
"Want me as much as I do?" Pedro doesn't protest anymore, grunting some spanish curses before sitting on the cold surface. "Good. Then comply"
You swing a leg over his lap, not afraid if the thing breaks, dragging your wet folds against his cock. He moans, gripping your thighs hard, biting at your lower lip to hide a growl that seems to erupt from deep within his chest.
"Gonna ride you, baby. Is that okay?" you take the lead, and Pedro gets frustrated that you're taking up a plan that was originally his. Despite such, he just finds himself nodding wordlessly like a fool.
You line up, desperate to have him inside of you. But you go slowly down, taking his size, maybe because you're drunk or because you'd never fucked in a bathroom before. Because, really, how will you even try to explain your PR team a broken bathroom?
You gasp as he bottoms out, struggling to catch your breath with the relentless push. His strong arm cages your waist, as he moans in your ear, bodies going up and down in sync. His slides are smooth across his length, helping you find your pace.
"Fuck" you whimper, legs starting to shake. "I think I-"
"I know" he interrupts you, a quick kiss to your earlobe. "It's okay; I've got you, linda"
He thrusts upwards, toilet creaking as Pedro keeps you in place.
You bury your teeth into his shoulder to muffle your moans, skin slapping against skin loudly, his movements becoming faster. The pressure keeps on adding, until the tightness on your walls is too much, and you're collapsing over his chest, folds spasming as he empties his load inside of you, seed deep in your walls, dripping down your legs.
"Oh, shit" you gasp, "Pedro!"
"Perdón!" he shouts, then covers his mouth. "Mierda, no quise ser tan ruidoso. Ay, carajo. Didn't want to spill all over you-" (sorry! didn't mean to be so loud. oh, fuck)
"There's a sink" you start, "and toilet paper. We'll manage"
"Right" he looks at his watch, "we got about ten minutes"
You smile, cheek resting against the warm skin of his neck. "If the chef took the whole thirty"
"There's only one way to find out" he gasps for air. "Pero, ¿no estás llena? Still up for dessert?" his big hand finds it's way to your tummy, you still contentedly stuffed full of him. It lingers, and when you look into his eyes, he averts his gaze, ashamed of whatever he thought. (but, aren't you full?)
"After this, I need some sugar to make it home" your eyelids drop. "I'm starving"
He presses a loud kiss to your head, "that's my girl"
"Yours" you pull back to rest your forehead against his. "Just yours"
He jolts forward, capturing your mouth in a hot kiss, and you smile into it.
"Good. Now, I'll give my good girl what she deserves" he takes some toilet paper to clean his spilling load out of you, kisses running from your face to neck. Then, gently so, lets you dress in again, exiting the bathroom first to give you some cleaning up space. When you come back to your table, the Soufflé is there.
"Eat" he commands, voice thick and rough. You smirk, giving it a bite as you look into his eyes: hair disheveled, puffy lips and droopy eyes. The bite mark seems to shine, or maybe you need to lay down for a while. "Y no mires atrás, ¿sí? We got ourselves a crowd" (don't look back, yeah?)
That night, you upload a story with a picture of the dessert with a caption that reads: best meal I've ever had. The context is lost until news of your bathroom affairs hit headlines next morning, but you don't notice: your phone happens to be dead, and you're too busy getting railed in what could count as round two to charge it.
pompeiianbollockr: hello just woke up and saw the pictures WTF TMZ??? did they really do #that 😭 bring back public shaming unhing3dprincess: i bet my grandma they fucked in that fancy ass restroom ㅤㅤmostannoyingbillioner: unhing3dprincess QUEEN U ARE BACK 😭 BETTING UR GRANDMA AGAIN? OH IKTR WE WERE LOOSING THE ANCIENT TEXTS poppysplayground: ohhhhh they're so nasty (do u want a third) ㅤㅤann-gell: poppysplayground fr like INVITEN
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The interview for Entertainment Weekly's behind the cover for Gladiator II was supposed to just include Paul and Pedro, but taking advantage of the free publicity and buzz your announcement made, they added you. Especially after the news about your restroom affair had hit, courtesy of TMZ; the rumor wasn't taken into account in the beginning, but now added gasoline to the gossip fire. Just what the movie needed: free promo.
You're sat in the middle of the two men, dressed in white as well, to match their attires with a flowy dress that loosely resembles that of Rome's. Then, Paul begins to speak.
"I saw the film for the first time when I was about 13 with my dad" he talks about the original movie.
"I saw it in the movie theater when it came out" you imagine a young Pedro lined up to see Russell Crowe's magnetic performance and let out a small smile. "I saw it twice, because of how emotional the movie was. Obviously it's incredibly visceral, and epic and the kind of movie you rarely get to see made, uh, these days"
You look at him, elbow resting on the arm chair as your body is all turned to his side. Truth is, you love listening to him, especially when he seems so invested, love for the subject rooted in each word.
Pedrito, you'd affectionally call. Ésto es una conversación, no un monólogo. And he'd blush embarrased, only for you to laugh it off, saying you would turn mute if that meant for him to continue speaking. (this is a conversation, not a monologue)
"It had an impact emotionally. I remember that, I guess, sadistically I was drawn to a second time go back again because, weirdly, it was very comforting. I remember it perfectly came out in year 2000. Right?" he asks, and Paul and you agree with a yeah. "I can remember what theater I was in and everything-"
"What theater was it?" Paul interrupts his passionate talking.
Pedro stops, "It, uh-" he rambles, before you all laugh.
"What about you, y/n? Were you even born?" Paul jokes, making you roll your eyes at his antics and deliberate desire to keep nagging you like some older annoying brother.
"I was like, born a year after you, Paul. But I didn't watch the movie until I was fifteen" you feel the gaze of both men fall upon you. "The first Ridley Scott movie I watched was Thelma and Louise, as you all know. Then my dad insisted I should watch it, and finally, at fifteen, when I had given up on my dreams to go on one last epic trip to the Grand Canyon, he played it. My eyes, they were, like, glued to the screen. I couldn't stop thinking about it for a while" you leave a small lingering touch on Pedro's arm, "just like he said: epic and emotional. Also, I had a huge fat crush in Joaquin Phoenix that lasted until I was twenty"
"That was like, seven years ago!" Pedro yells, making Paul snorts. "I feel deceived"
"Qué dramático. We're both married, you big baby!" you laugh, then make a joke before the next conversation starts: "You wouldn't think he plays an epic Roman General, would you?" (how dramatic)
They film some shots of you and the boys before moving to the next talk.
"I was doing a play in London at the time. I'd met with Doug and Lucy who are the producers of the film in LA, and then a zoom was set up and I spoke to Ridley for about 5 minutes about what Gladiator was going to be about. And then we spoke for the next 25 minutes about like, gaic football and dogs, and then I thought we'd do like camera tests and- but no, he just-" he shrugs. "I found out about two weeks later"
Now it's Pedro's turn.
"I knew that the project existed. I knew that Paul was doing it. I think it started with an actual like meeting with Ridley to go and sit down with him and I, whether or not the movie was going to happen for me or not, I was like I'm going to go meet Ridley Scott" he jokes, making you both chuckle. "It wasn't even about getting the job, it was like I'm going to go and sit down maybe five minutes, ten, twenty, as many minutes as I can"
"It was in LA" you speak up, "in his offices"
"Yeah, and thankfully he was willing to talk about all the things I wanted to know about, in terms of other movies, and that's what it really turned into"
"He's a wonderful Storyteller" Mescal compliments. "You could sit down with Ridley for-"
Pedro makes a joke, speaking over him. "Give me another one, give me another one-"
You still kind of hate the guy after his supposed comments on your husband's weight, but won't talk bad about a man who gave you work and your biggest role to the date yet, so you explain how it happened to you.
"I wasn't even planned to appear on the movie. As a matter of fact, my character was squeezed in last minute. Ridley is, just as they said, indeed, a storyteller" you smile. "The truth is, I worked with Cuba, his granddaughter, on a proyect together, a photography one. I was in London at the time, auditioning for a movie, when we met"
"London?" Paul asks.
"Yes" you laugh, ashamed. "I traveled to London with some of my savings, because you know what they say about not doing and then regretting. But I do regret it; I cried for my money to be back!"
"You didn't get the part" Pedro adds, barely containing a snicker.
"I didn't" you sigh, "Cuba saw me sitting alone on a café, eyes red with tears of failure and talked me into capturing such vulnerable moment. She didn't know me but made my day better, and she took some of the most beautiful pictures I've seen of myself. So, in a way, I won. I mean, she's the reason I got the role: my name came up on a phone call with Scott, as I had already made a name for myself, and showed him the pictures. He got in contact with my agent and I got the role after auditioning. Call that friendship nepotism"
"Didn't Pedro tell you about it? I find it funny that he was in the movie and didn't get you in" Paul comments, curiously.
"We were supposed to remain a secret, and the sudden connection when we had barely interacted according to the public, would've been weird. So no, Pedro rubbed his role on my face and then I came home with the new script as he received his. We both won our roles separately, and until we got it both, we realized just what it would mean"
"But now we're here" Pedro speaks fondly, taking your hand. "Rome conquers it all"
You can only hold his and stare back lovingly.
"Oh" the Irish man feigns disgust, "don't get all lovey dovey on me!"
The topic changes again, as Paul speaks.
"We meet early in the film, and this is again kind of Ridley's genius. He shoots it in a way that it feels plausible, but in like- the real action of that there's no way-"
They start talking ovwe each other excitedly about the process of filmaking, Pedro listing all the settings were the epic action takes place.
"We lock eyes" Pedro jests, "we lock eyes"
"All right" Paul plays along. "Three, two, one"
"i'm right here" you say, pushing your body to the front. "You got me third wheeling in my own marriage"
Paul laughs, breaking contact.
"Time for you to get a taste of your own medicine. You've made the rest of this press tour unbearable!" he protests, but his tone is devoid of complain.
"Marcus Acacius represents like-" Mescal then speaks about your husband's character, "he's a Roman general"
"No, he is the general of Rome" you correct, smirking.
"Be careful, princess. Don't let the emperor see you all over his General" the blue-eyed man next to you mocks, and you roll your eyes again.
"Will you ever let me live?"
Paul then talks about his character. "I'm like a lieutenant in the numidian Army. I kind of see Acacius as this, he- he represents everything that I hate about, uh, the Roman Empire"
"Well, the Roman Empire is expanding and expanding" Pedro takes the word, "and invading Numidia just to gain more and more power, and we realize that there really is kind of no ceiling to the lust of that power"
"And that's to do with the Emperors, right? Like, played by Joe and Fred who are wonderful" Paul adds, complimenting both actors in the process. "And let's not forget our Empress too"
You make a face at that, feeling in the need to defend your character.
"Empress Alba is tragedy. I think she embodies well the feelings of helpnessless all women felt during that time. She's an object, another shiny possesion subjected to her husband's amusement, so she drowns in all pleasure available to forget her existence. Lucius hates her because he sees all the filth of Rome in her, like, this whole debauchery and squandering while the people beg for scraps. But it's a pattern seen across history, isn't it?" you pause. "I think it's interesting to compare her to Lucilla, because she's loved by the people, seen as human- despite being noble. It's sad because it's until too late that Lucius realizes she's a victim of the system he hates"
Pedro smiles at your little intervention, loving the way you explain a character you'd play so graciously. One of your favorite movies is Marie Antoinette, by Sofia Coppola, so probably it felt personal to you in some level. God, hadn't you made him watch it at least ten times?
"It unravels through the film that I've kind of miscalculated who I think Acacius is, just as with Alba" Paul comments.
"His character misunderstands my character just like Paul misunderstands us" Pedro quips, making both of you laugh.
"Then it kind of culminates in a big fight that we have in the-"
"Doesn't it always?" you add. "Wouldn't be an epic without it"
"Do you want to talk about it?" Paul dares, jokingly.
"No we're not talking about it" he cuts him off.
"Who's the better fighter'" Paul asks after some silence. Pedro dares him with a go on.
"I would say I'm better the better share. What you think?"
"I would say Lucius is the better fighter"
"Lucius is the better fighter" Pedro repeats slowly, incredulous. "Do you want us to fight? Lucius is a better fighter than the general of Rome, who survived decades and conquered" Paul tries to defend himself but Pedro doesn't let him. "I fight four men before I get you, and I call it off!"
"Yeah, but I think if you hadn't called it off -"
"You don't think I would have do some sort of mature aged learning-"
They end up discussing a bit more until you clear your throat.
"Why don't you ask for a third party to break your tie?" and you point towards yourself, mouthing a cute me with your painted pink lips.
"No!" Paul immediatly opposes, "It would be biased, silence her!"
"Have you seen Acacius' arms?" you gauge Pedro's arms, biceps flexing under the white attire. "It definitely isn't biased, at all"
The conversation carries on after some more shots. In some, you pose seriously, but in between such, you laugh along with them, Pedro even hugging you and Paul from behind in one of both. No kisses yet, but you know fans will be rabid just with the lingering touches and flirty undertones in your interactions.
"We began together in Morocco, and I think seeing that set and the scale of the production so quickly, desensitized me to the scale of the of what- Malta was in the Coliseum, and Ridley moves at such a pace, which I actually think really helped me because you don't have time to kind of sit there and and kind of bask in the wonder of it" Paul talks. "Because you're shooting three or four scenes, build your expectations of how to meet the size of, it or anything 'cuz 'cause it's impossible" Paul looks at Pedro and asks: "and I think Ridley; did I tell you what Ridley said first day of shooting to me? He came out to the tent while they were dressing the set, thousands of extras, everything fire, camels and he comes in, and he's- he's smoking a cigar, and we're all stood around and he's like Are you nervous? and we're all like No and he slaps me on the back and goes Your nerves are no good to me, before we filmed anything. But I think it was like- it's funny, but it's this idea that this is your playground, and you have to kind of step into it and own it. So, I-I don't actually really remember my first walking into the Coliseum, 'cause I feel like I lived in the Coliseum for about three or four weeks"
"You lived in the Coliseum of your mind" Pedro quips, making Paul laugh.
"I do remember, you know, when I first walked into the Coliseum, you know. It- it gave me chills. Like, literally chills. Look! I still get the goosebumps" you point your arm. "Honestly, all of it felt just too real, and I couldn't help but for a moment, think I actually was in Rome- that I belonged to nobility"
Pedro takes your hand and kisses it gently. "That's because you do, princesa"
"One of the things that I have never experienced on a movie before, is that there was so little left to the imagination" Pedro expresses. "Me and the rest of the ensemble are together in the emperor's box, and there's this enormous battle that's taking place, and Ridley composed all of the off camera for us in the emperor's box, with Paul leaping from one ship to another taking two men down what would you call that?"
"A cloth line flying" Paul answers.
"Clothes line?" you try.
"A flying- a flying clothes line" Pedro decides, carrying on "just so that we could know what we were looking at. I couldn't f*****g believe it"
"That's true" you remark. "The result goes so hard- I mean, it looks amazing" you sheepily laugh. "The action, the violence, the epic... it all shines through. It just- it makes sense"
The conversation shifts again.
"The legacy of the first film is so profound, and has such a strong place in so many people's, like, hearts and minds, it's inescapable, but I was looking at it- and I was like" Paul shares. "The screenplay does a lot of that work for you in terms of like, the rubbing the dirt between the hands. the kind of DNA and the genetics that Lucius inherits. I remember reading the script and there's like, a moment in the script where it's Lucius puts on the breastplate and it's written like Lucius now becomes Maximus"
"But Lucius, despite being a son, is also a man" you counter. "He isn't Maximus"
Paul agrees.
"I kind of tried to park that to one side, because ultimately, where Lucius is coming from at the start of the film, he has a very different journey than Maximus does, and I was hoping that whatever DNA- and even just the physical gestures, was going to be one part of- a kind of small part of the performance" he explains. "What I tried to do is figure out exactly who Lucius was and where those differences lay between Lucius and Maximus"
"One of the things that I loved most about my character is that he's introduced in the beginning of the movie, in this very epic battle sequence, that I think in its own way homages the first film" Pedro shares. "But even better, because we follow him back to Rome and discover his direct connection to one of the only characters that is living and with us from the first movie, and I loved being a a kind of thread, an invitation, into what we know from the first movie by being Connie Nielsen's man"
Paul looks at you silently, before poking your side: "Someone is real quiet with that comment"
You narrow your eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about"
"I am Connie Nielsen's man as Marcus Acacius, but as Pedro Pascal, I'm all y/n's"
Your face goes red at how easily you are to be understood, your husband answering just what you wanted to listen.
"Ha! Look at your face, I was right!" Paul ridiculises you.
But after such an embarrasing moment, he shifts the conversation again.
"There's a moment where Pedro has this, uh- it's so clever from a- from an acting standpoint, but also in the in the script like, you see this brutalizing Force come into Numidia, and there's this section where there's the burning of the bodies, and that it's one of my favorite shots in the film" Paul muses. "It's this closeup on Pedro, when he says Vae Victis to the conquered, and you feel like it's a really difficult thing to communicate in one line, that you see: Oh, this General is, kind of wearing this responsibility with great difficulty and shame"
"I wasn't doing that at all" your husband deadpans. You stiffle a giggle.
"You were very good in it" Paul argues back with a smile.
"That wasn't what I was playing" he insists, serious but Paul asks What were you playing? and you all laugh.
"If I had a favorite scene, I'd say it'd be naval fight" you mention. "The colliseum is filled with water, and it's this- it feels like a thing that has never been done before, and with the people cheering and the buzz, and the announcement and echo of the drumming, it's as if you were there, in the crowd. The tension is palpable, the violence is thrown at your face but the scariest one, is the one that lies underneath. Uh, Lucius character tries to attack the General while we, you know, the royals and especial guests, are sitting at our box, and he gets so close, it serves, I think the bottom climbing the ladder to bite the ankles of the top. Obviously, that before we know who Lucius actually is, but I think it's kind of cool"
The interview is ending, the last of your twelve-minute conversation being filmed now.
"I am really excited for everyone to see Paul" Pedro beams, making the younger one laugh. "I'm sorry but it has to be said. You are sensational in the movie" then adds, "and pretty easy on the eyes"
"Everyone in this movie is easy in the eyes" you quip, looking at your side. Pedro coughs a bit before speaking again, even if a faint blush is coating his cheeks.
"-And he worked so hard, and I got to see that happen like, in front of me, and on the day and just lead with Ridley, this enormous crew and this enormous cast... To get to see that, on the big screen, is really exciting and I think people are going to- they're going to love it"
"That's very kind" you exclaim softly with a smile, then add. "I'm sure of it, especially if you were a fan of the first. Both are very interwined, although each film is its own thing" you comment.
"For a lot of us, the actors, we haven't worked on a film on that scale" you violently shake your head "and I think, there's a little bit of trauma bonding that went on with, kind of having to- kind of feel like, total impostor syndrome within it all. But to see your friends operate at that level on a film of that scale, doing like incredible work. I think, across the board, I haven't seen a film on this scale for a long long time rhat's rooted it has the scale and the performances, and I personally think it's one of Ridley's greatest pieces of work"
senhoritamayblog: y/n was SO REAL holding pedro's arm and talking abt how he'd beat paul bc he's beefy ME WHEN moltisantiii: you know what i think ridley's greatest piece of work is? giving us this trio youlooklike-clarabow: y/n is truly a princess 🥹 i don't know if i want to be y/n to be with pedro or pedro to be with y/n ㅤㅤann-gell: youlooklike-clarabow well, she's the people's princess after all!
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You haven't even left the room when Pedro is all over you, kissing your neck on that sweet spot of yours that elates a little breathy whine. Doesn't he know you well?
"What are you doing?" you manage to squeak out as his needy big hands grope your body, flesh soft under the flowy white dress. He grunts when he catches your panties, embarrasingly wet already at just a few sloppy kisses and eager touches.
"What do you think?" he whispers against your ear as you both try to walk away from where voices can be heard, and then Pedro is guiding you to a room, closing the door behind him. If he was able to walk to the room while kissing you, he must've seen it in a passing. Had your husband plan this all along? Greedy needy old man.
"What I think, baby, is you're forgetting something" you push him off, giggling. He makes a little pout, making it hard to keep your ground. "Now that everyone knows we're married and we suddenly both go misteriously missing at the same time, they'll just put two and two together. I mean, does it really take a smart person to figure it out?"
Pedro doesn't back down, still caging your frame against the locked door.
"So?" his annoyed and tense voice only makes you laugh more. That turned on was he? Pedro seems annoyed at your fit of laughter, his pants tight.
"What do you mean so? We almost got caught by Paul last time!" you chuckle amused. "And, are you seriously going to pretend TMZ didn't air our bussiness just about last week?"
"Well, maybe you should've thought about it before" he goes back at the task of attacking your mouth, words spewing in between hungry kisses. You mouth a little taunting innocent looking Before what? and then Pedro is talking while his gaze is glued to yours, tightening his arms around you, and the answer is just about that. "You should've thought about it before getting all flirty with me, grabbing my arm in front of the camera like the naughty girl you are. So fucking needy you can't hide it for a few hours, can't even go through an interview without touching me, looking at me, being possesive at a fictional marriage even" your face burns hot with embarrasment at that. Oh, was he being nasty on purpose? Why bring that up? "Haven't I taught you manners?"
It's hard to force yourself to hold his gaze while standing still. Taunting. Defiant.
"José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal" you chastise, "do you want people to know we are raw dogging in the dressing room? That's the manners you so badly talk about"
His face goes red, his demostrations stopping for a bit as he studies your now serious face.
"Wait, do you want to raw dog in the dressing room?" he gasps at the boldness in your words, which, to be fair, is kind of exaggerated, as you both have said worst stuff before. "That's not what I had in mind"
"That's not?" you arch an eyebrow. "Oh, no. Absolutely not. You can't just kiss my neck greedily and touch my body eagerly like a goddamn starved horny idiot, and then expect me to not act up on it, you old man"
There's silence before he speaks up again. "Y/n, you talked about manners"
You take a deep breath in, making sure the door is actually locked.
"Well, fuck them manners"
You capture his lips on a hungry kiss, same kind of force you had made fun of him, just minutes ago. He's pushing his tongue inside of you, as his hands move up to your shoulders and back down to your waist. You rub yourself against him, looking for some kind of friction, and his big calloused hands pulls your waist closer in an attempt to do the same.
"Manners maketh man" he's reciting, and such stupid proverb and line from one of his old works shouldn't turn you this much. Pedro lifts up the dress until your body is devoid of the cotton, murmuring about how unfair it was for you to taunt him with translucent cloth, tender flesh hiding under the white. So hard to focus on interviews, mami, when you're close to me or something like that, as you're too lost in the fire. No bra? Fuck, baby. Do you want to kill me?
"Sofa" you command, eyes darting to the furniture so you can show him where. "Now"
You take off your panties in a go, revealing the slick that's just a few seconds from running down your legs.
"I see, my legs won't be the only thing drooling" you mock his agape mouth. He takes off the blazer with shaking hands, sitting as you get on top of him. Pedro kisses his way down your neck, sucking on the skin. How will you get out of here without comfirming suspicions? Surely, there must be something inside here that could be of help.
"Well, I've wanted to do this for a while" he mumbles against the now red patches of before honey-ed skin. Again? you think.
"Have me or fuck again in public?" you ask out loud, and even if you're laughing, there's a layer of fondness in your voice. "I'm starting to wonder if you have an exhibition kink, papi"
He breathes a little no before biting right above your collarbones, his tongue then releaving the pain with a wet slick move over the flesh as you let out a whine.
"Busy schedule, mami. A husband's gotta find a way to make time for his pretty wife, even if it means fucking her in the goddamn dressing room" he says into your ear. Pedro had done more interviews than you, and between that and filming for his other projects, he's right. "So what if they find out? Need them to know who you belong to. I'm just a devoted husband, will you punish me for that?"
You caress his face, pristine hair now disheveled, the gel succumbing to the heat and sweat trapped in the room.
"Look at you, naughty boy. El burro hablando de orejas" you laugh, "but of course I won't. Need you too so bad" (look who's talking)
His finger wanders down to your pussy, big hand roaming around the area. His middle and ring finger run over it, the golden band starting to shine with your arousal. Fuck, that just made you wetter.
"Shit, baby. You're so eager... wasn't lying when you talked before"
"Needed you since you kissed me today, when you woke up" your teeth grit at his lingering digits. "Your dick rubbed against my bare thigh, fucking hard"
Truth is, you're always horny; being married to Pedro Pascal does that to you. But mornings? Waking up to that handsome face and girthy dick? You really be testing yourself sometimes.
"Jesus, mami" he whistles. "So fucking dirty, thinking about me all the interview because my morning wood grazed your skin, you dirty naughty girl"
Pedro finally slides his fingers inside of you, making you squirm under his gaze as your back archs. "So fucking beautiful, can't believe you're all mine" he moans and you squeeze his shoulders, nails digging and bruising his skin under the shirt that sticks to his skin, body heating up like a furnace.
"Please, Pedro" you plead, lip biting your under to supress a whimper. "Please curl your fingers, need to have you- feel you inside. Fuck-"
Your words cut off as he moves his fingers with learned ease, his thumb rubbing your clit as a treat.
"Mmm" you murmur with pleasure, back arched again, your tits too dangerously close to his face. Without much thought, he licks your nipple and then devours the whole breast with his mouth. All while looking at you, this absolute horndog. Your nails dig in deeper as you pronounce his name in a shaky exhale. Wanting more. Begging for more.
"Mmm? That's right" his palm on your waist squeezes lightly, more pressure on his grip. "Can't speak 'cause I'm making you feel so good, huh?"
You don't answer, instead throwing your head back, nails digging deep to the point he winces, making a face by the pain. You mouth an apology, but then he licks your nipple again, and teeth move to your nibble your earlobe―you're not sorry anymore.
"S-stop" you choke out, body shivering.
"What? Can't take what you asked for? No muerdas más de lo que puedes masticar, niña mala. Bad girl" (don't bite off more than you can chew, bad girl)
His lewd words elicit another moan out of you.
"I-I can. In fact, I want- no, need more. I don't want to cum on your fingers" you whisper in his ear, hot breath probably why he shivers. "Pull down your pants, pretty boy, because I want to cum on your dick"
"Fuck, mami. What a dirty mouth" he moans.
Eager hands try to lower his pants as your fiddle with the same feel, the borrowed wardrobe struggling to get off in the current position. His underwear goes next, and you squirm as he aligns his tip with your dripping entrance.
You moan and he grunts, as his dick enters your tight folds, sounds clashing onto each other as so do your bodies, fitting perfectly. His hands travel from your waist to ass, his head against the back of the sofa, your hands that were before on his shoulders now on his chest.
"Such a pretty view you're giving me, wifey" he tries to laugh, but the sound comes out strained along each powerful stride of his cock that buries inside of you, each bouncing harder, his hands pathethically running over your ass, back, hips, and legs, as his eyes devour the way your tits jiggle with each thrust, tongue burning with desire to suck on the skin again. "So beautiful, and all mine. Only mine. Mía"
His words drip with devotion and wordship; all the love in the world. Pedro calls you beautiful, goddess, and a string of spanish words crossed with adoration. Mami. Linda. Princesa. Diosa. Hermosa. It has your orgasm looming over, head spinning and pussy stretched, walls tightening.
"I'm close" you whisper, riding him with soft-paced movements as his turn sloppy.
You see stars, walls almost kicking his dick out as you coat it in your slick, arousal dripping down until it's coated his balls and smeared the white attire. Fuck. Now Pedro's moving his waist, hunting for his own orgasm.
"Me too" he breathes out, "stay with me"
His hands travel sloppily to your waist, lazily holding you still with his calloused digits.
"Quick, baby" you breath out, "I'm sensitive"
"I'm almost there. Just hold on a little longer" then a whine before shakily pleading. "Please, please, just wait for me"
You move your hips slowly, aroused by his needy pleads, robbing a moan out of him. "Cute" you praise, making his cheeks redden with sweat and blush.
He is cute: hair messed up, mouth red and puffy, and brown puppy eyes.
"I love you so much" Pedro let's out, and it sounds like a confession, despite being married for so long.
"I know, baby, I know" you reach for his face, removing some sweat beads from his forehead, and he leans on the touch, closing his eyes as another gutural growl erupts from his chest. "I love you too"
You keep on riding until you feel his dick twitch inside of your walls.
"We need to stop doing this" you pant out.
"Too late for that, bonita. At least no one found out this time" Pedro laughs. "But you like the talk, don't you? Gonna give 'em something to talk about" he pants, "will fill you up so good you won't be able to walk without my seed spilling from you" sweat beads from your face fall onto his. He obscenely licks the salty drops. "Te voy a dar tantos hijos, que no cabrán en la casa. That way they will know you're mine" (will give you so many kids, they won't fit in the house)
You moan loufly, folds now coated on thick ropes of hot cum, as his movements come to a stop, slowing down until all that can be heard is your uneven breaths trying to recover.
And on cue, there's a knock at the door. Shit. You both remain silent, as if it would stop, but the knocking turns persistent.
"Pedro, I know you're in there"
It's Paul freaking Mescal, again. You might just have to invite him next time if he keeps showing up like that.
"Should I go?" Pedro whispers, and you shrug, stating it would be weirder to pretend he wasn't if Paul knew he was. "How do I look?"
You eye him up and down, eye glistening with dissaproval, red cheeks giving away your thoughts as if the furrowed eyebrows and ashamed gaze didn't already.
"We are fucked"
"No" he giggles, "we just fucked"
"That's not funny!" you roll your eyes, playfully smacking his chest. "Please, look into the mirror and try to fix yourself a bit. If not, we're doomed to be remembered as a horny couple. Oh, we were going so well! Fans will make fun of us and the press will call us horndogs" you lament, exaggerating your voice.
"Oh, shush. We wanted to be able to be in public. This is what it feels like"
You blush. "Maybe we can reduce the public aspect a bit..."
Pedro snorts before doing a quick fix to his appearance, walking to the door where Mescal patiently waits behind. Oh, of course; that little fucker. After the TMZ news dropped, he connected the dots and know that whatever happened in that trailer when Pedro told him to fuck off, wasn't holy at all. Now, he's probably laughing or scheming.
"Paul!" Pedro opens the door. "W-what's up?"
The younger man does a quick scan of his friend, barely able to hide a laugh.
"Looking radiant, my friend" he answers with a shit-eating grin. "They need to do some re-shootings. Have you happen to seen y/n? She just keeps dissappearing when you- oh, when you do!" he mocks. "Well, if you ever happen to find y/n, tell her you both need to get a good fix unless y'all want to show up on TMZ again. I'm pretty sure you can find something in this dressing room to cover those marks, yeah?"
He finally breaks down laughing in front of Pedro's shocked face.
"Ah, you guys are the absolute worst" he folds in a fit of laughter, "so fucking horny you end up fucking in bathrooms and dressing rooms!"
Your voice can be heard from inside as you growl, face red with fury and shame:
"Hijo de puta" (son of a bitch!), "don't make me bring Daisy Edgar-Jones into this!"
l-u-n-a-m: they're just milking their relationship atp for promo but i'm not complaining need more pictures of the photoshoot NOW vnightx: istg if they don't stop flirting in front of my single ass face. i need a gun at0michips: have i gone insane or does pedro have love bites ㅤㅤmybritishstyle: MI HIJO DOES NOT HAVE LOVE BITES. HE JUST FELL DOWN THE STAIRS
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*i'm never gonna call twitter as X. it's still twitter, and will always be. fuck that ugly bigot filthy billionaire hoe called elon-trump-cocksucker-musk.
#dilfistwrites#gladiator II#gladiator ii#gladiator 2#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal x you#pedro x reader#pedro pascal fluff#taylor swift#reputation#call it what you want#paul mescal#call it what you want series
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10 Ways to Ensure Your Villain's Evil Monologuing Dialogue is as Unsettling as Possible!
1.) Make sure you're mixing body language with the words themselves: You can have your villain saying the most twisted shit, but if they're just standing there like a cardboard cutout, their words probably aren't going to hit as hard. Have them touch your protag. Have them toy with a weapon as if they're going to use it. Have them pace. Have them put together the blood ritual they're ranting about. Keep them moving.
2.) Have them use personal knowledge as a tool: Does your villain have some deep dark dirt on your protag? Don't let that all go in one swoop. Let them hint at it in drops before they open the dam. Maybe they use that knowledge as a bargaining tool to get an upper hand, or use it to send the trapped protag into a frenzy because they love to watch them scream.
3.) When it comes to threats, certainty is key: A threat is a threat, but there's nothing like a threat being spoken as if the villain knows it's going to happen. Whether your villain has already caught your protag, or is in the process of doing so, everything they say they want to see happen to your protag needs to come with absolute certainty. Almost as if it's a certain warning, and not just something they’re saying to be scary.
4.) Contradictions are your friend: Nothing indicates a warped villainous mind more than some juicy contradictions. Your villain might be talking about how they're going to flay your protag's hide after catching them in their dungeon, only to throw in a subtle "but, you're probably safer here with me." Find ways to toss in twisted contradictions that also underline the crazy shit they might be saying.
5.) Mess with syntax: Unsettling dialogue calls for unsettling structure. Incomplete sentences, unforeseen pauses, longwinded explanations broken up by more unforeseen pauses. Whatever it is, keep the rhythm offbeat. Don't give your reader a chance to be able to tell what's coming.
6.) Expectations? Subvert those: Your protag and even your readers might be suspecting one thing from your villain, so throw them a curveball and hit them with the complete opposite. Perhaps you've reached a point in your story where it seems like the villain might kill your protag on sight. But no, have your villain mention exactly why they aren't going to do that, and why they want to wait it out.
7.) Mix quiet confidence and loud assertion: Some might say that the silent seether is scarier, while others might agree that the sudden explosive type takes the bigger unsettling prize. In my opinion, you can really capitalize on the eeriness of villain dialogue by tapping into both. A villain that speaks on with refined confidence before very suddenly exploding, without much warning, can really power up the dread behind their words.
8.) Sometimes, ambiguity is better than being straightforward: Whether it's obvious that your villain has a lot of tricks up their sleeves--or not--leaving things to the imaginations of your protag, and subsequently, your readers is great for building dread. You can use dialogue to make it clear that they're up to something, but never make them fully disclose what that is. They might show it instead of tell it, or it might just never happen. Either way, it'll likely have everyone looking over their shoulders.
9.) There might be times where silence says everything: You might be worried about penning the correct verbiage for your villain's big evil speech, but sometimes, silence speaks wonders. When used correctly, a long pause, or a bout of silence after your protag has said their piece can build a sense of uneasiness more than them actually speaking would have.
10.) Find ways for your villain to mirror the hero: A monologuing villain is better when they're throwing your hero's values and beliefs back in their face. A hero that believes in mercy? Well, have your villain talk about how they'll make them beg for it. A hero that believes in the greater good? Have your villain talk about their idea of a greater good.
As always, GO WRITE SOMETHING TODAY! <3
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