#it’s y’all’s guess as to which brother they’re referring to lol

[charcoaldustonmyfingers]

Actual words one of my siblings said in defense of another lol

[shijiujun]

ANOTHER REC from the author who wrote The Wife is First 妻为上! I’ve actually read like six of her novels so far (will do a compilation soon heh) and 绿野千鹤 (the author) is very fond of transmigration, going back in time, reincarnation, revival and everything, and she’s also very fond of historical settings where men can marry men, in varying degrees, and this is one of them!!!! This is a very feel good novel, just like The Wife if First - considered a sweet, not complex novel. 

(And for those asking about reading difficulty levels, this is actually not very complicated, so if y’all wanna read in Chinese, you can actually try this!)

- Part of Min’s ‘Why You Should Read’ Series -

Summary:

At his deathbed in his 20s, emperor Yu Jin Tang tells his male empress Song Xiao to die with him right before he passes away from a severe injury sustained from war. Devastated and also willing to die with him, Song Xiao is about slit his own throat when Jin Ling, Jin Tang’s younger brother who’s next in line for the throne, reads out the imperial decree to have Song Xiao be given a wangye title and assist Jin Lin in his rule, a decree that Jin Tang made before he died, of course not expecting Song Xiao to die with him.

Song Xiao slits his own throat anyway after killing the man who dealt his husband with the fatal blow, and wakes up in 16 year-old Song Xiao’s body in the modern world. He’s in the hospital after an accident, and is entirely confused with this world. He also wonders where Jin Tang is, if he also travelled to this world after his death, but Song Xiao first has to get used to the modern world, to his father, who is the CEO of an entertainment company, unofficial stepmother (who is an actress under the company and had an affair with Song Xiao’s father) and stepsister.

After recovery, Song Xiao gets to school and becomes tablemates with someone who looks exactly like Jin Tang, called Yu Tang, who is the heir to the wealthy Yu family.

Cue Yu Tang and Song Xiao trying to test each other out to see if they really transmigrated to this world and have memories of their past life, navigate their families and find other transmigrated people from that dynasty in their current timeline. Yu Tang and Song Xiao also reaffirm their love for each other after clearing up the misunderstanding that led Yu Jin Tang to go off to war suddenly that year, which inadvertently led to his death after.

Read:

Novel (Online) | Novel (Print) - Not Available | Novel Translations | Manhua 

Characters:

1. 宋箫 Song Xiao - In his past life he was a scholar who first met YJT at a palace feast, and YJT fell in love with him at first sight and was adamant on marrying him as his empress. The previous emperor caught wind of this and wanted to execute Song Xiao, but his grandfather begged the emperor to spare his grandson in exchange for his life. He loves YJT but in his past life was always carrying the burden of the empress title and was never close to YJT in public, and in private, he repeatedly refused to sleep with YJT because he was scared of the pain, but also did not tell YJT that this was the reason for his rejection, leading to YJT thinking that Song Xiao must really hate him/not love him. 

After he commits suicide and transmigrates to the modern world, he’s the 16-year old son of the CEO of a huge entertainment company, and lives with his father, stepmother and stepsister. Before he transmigrated, the current him was diagnosed with autism and he was non-verbal, until his stepmother/stepsister hurt him and led to him being in a coma. He wakes up from the coma having transmigrated after, and is so confused at all the nurses, plus he has all his ancient traditional habits - the way he talks, his hand gestures etc. He was caught calling his stepmother a concubine LMAO in public, and only has two months to get used to the modern world before he’s tossed into school, where he meets YJT again. And as expected he forgets himself frequently and ends up greeting people traditionally like this LOL:

Considered to be a real pretty boy HAHAHAHA as expected, but before he transmigrated he was often the subject of bullying. He ends up rooming with YJT, and they start second-guessing whether each other has transmigrated. It’s hilarious because even before confirming that he is indeed YJT, Song Xiao is so used to things like feeding YJT chicken wings, helping him with his clothes etc. from back in his days as empress, and YJT in modern world is also like used to it and then when they realize their actions they’re like ???? hold on, are you...

Totally doesn’t get Math (like all of us), but luckily he’s so smart and picks up all his academic material quickly. 

2. 虞锦堂/虞堂 Yu Jin Tang/Yu Tang - Went against laws and his father in his past life to marry Song Xiao, and really, really loves him. He always doubts that Song Xiao loves him back, however, because of the way he basically forced Song Xiao to marry him, and did not take in any concubines etc. in the year they spent together before he died. They argued over this, which led to him going to war in anger, and to his eventual death. On his deathbed, out of spite and anger at his impending demise, he asks Song Xiao to die with him, but does not mean it, having already planned Song Xiao’s future for him.

He wakes up in his new body as an 11 year-old named Yu Tang, 5 years before Song Xiao transmigrates despite their deaths being minutes apart. At some point he goes to read historical books and is furious and devastated when he reads that Song Xiao killed himself after he died, and wonders if it’s because Jin Lin didn’t tell Song Xiao about the decree.

He’s been waiting for Song Xiao to turn up, and when he does, Yu Tang finds himself testing Song Xiao to see if he really has his memories or not, and even plots for Song Xiao to room with him because Yu Tang gets pissed at the thought of someone else seeing Song Xiao’s body as he comes out of the bath everyday HAHAHA. 

In this modern world, he no longer has to deal with the burden of country etc., and one of the possible heirs to the Yu fortune and empire, he now only has to deal with greedy relatives and a grandfather who may oppose same-sex relationships, but smart Yu Tang knows what he’s doing and is more than familiar with fighting for the throne in his past life, and now in this life. Because he lost so much in the previous life, he’s now plotting to keep everything, including Song Xiao.

3. 虞锦麟 Yu Jin Lin - YJT’s younger brother, who also transmigrated to the modern world the year Song Xiao does, but in his past life he dies much later than his brother and Song Xiao did out of natural causes. He is reborn as Yu Tang’s baby brother, and this baby has ALL THEM MEMORIES.

4. 独孤暗 Du Gu An - Yu Tang’s current same-age bodyguard, was picked up from the streets by Yu Tang when they were both younger. He was the head of YJT’s secret army in his past life, who transmigrated over.

Other Things I Like in the Novel:

In private, Yu Tang and Song Xiao refer to each other frequently as emperor and empress, but they’re conscious to not say it in public because they know people will wonder if they’re insane hahaha

Yu Tang ran for President of the Student’s Club, won, and then changed all the names of the different committees in school (cleaning committee, disciplinary committee etc.) into historical ministry names like, Ministry of Rites, Ministry of Justice etc. hahaha

They acknowledge each other quite early on in the book and it’s so sweet from then on! Technically even though they’re 16 year-olds here in spirit they’re like... they’ve lived another lifetime together, so Yu Tang refers to Song Xiao as his wife and empress, and keeps stealing kisses etc.

The man who killed YJT in his past life was reborn as Yu Tang’s literal dog in the modern world, and a lot of characters transmigrated/were reborn as well, including YJT’s eunuch gonggong, who is actually a high-ranking butler now in the main Yu family branch and who has also been waiting for YJT to turn up in the modern world. When Song Xiao first meets him, his eyes automatically go to the butler’s crotch LMAOOO

YJT’s sister was also reborn as his sister, and because he wasn’t able to protect her in his past life, he’s very thankful that he can do so now

It’s really cute because there’s even an overseas academic exchange part. Outside of school they also try to navigate their relationships with their families, and it’s impressive to see how Song Xiao and Yu Tang deal with their pesky relatives, work etc.

Song Xiao has to defend himself (with the help of Yu Tang) against his stepmother, and another woman that his Dad had another affair with etc., but all these tactics are elementary to him as he recalls how his siblings in his past life were much more merciless and scheming than this towards him LOL

[authenticcadence18]

For the sending you a character thing could you maybe do Candace Flynn please? :)

Hi anon! And of COURSE!!

Favorite thing about them: I love how relatable she is! Candace being overwhelmed with life and feeling stuck/discouraged and frustrated is just, a big ‘ol mood, especially as I’ve gotten older. “The Universe is Against Me” is very therapeutic to sing for those reasons! I also love the moments when she is genuinely a kind older sister, like in “Dude We’re Getting the Band Back Together” or the end of “Summer Belongs To You.” I also love her friendship with Isabella (especially in the later seasons), it’s just really sweet! Candace helping Isabella out with her crush on Phineas (or just reacting to it in a deadpan way) is so so soooo so great! (Basically big sister Candace. Yes.) Candace is also just, SO FUNNY. Both with her dialogue and physical comedy. She’s a great character. (On a personal note, I also relate to her struggle with not wanting to drive right away! I was the same way, and thinking about Candace made me feel better about my own struggles!) Also her SINGING. YES. I love Ashley Tisdale. ...Ok, now that I’ve said lots of nice things about Candace...onto the next question😅

least favorite thing about them: sometimes Candace is just, very unkind. Like, I KNOW she has her own struggles and I’d never want to invalidate those.....but she is just so MEAN to Phineas and Ferb sometimes for no real reason (particularly in earlier episodes). Like, in the Christmas special for instance, she continuously laughs off Phineas and Ferb’s desire to write letters to Santa (but then USES this idea in a scheme to figure out what gift Jeremy wants, so it’s hypocritical on her part) (EDIT: i wouldn’t change the “letters to Santa??” bit, btw, it’s pretty funny!! but it illustrates my point) and THEN puts the thought in Phineas’s head that he might be the reason all of Danville was deemed naughty, which DEVASTATES him. I think the saddest part is that, 95% of the time, Phineas and Ferb are nothing but kind to her. It makes her occasional spitefulness towards them seem so JARRING. (And again I KNOW she struggles with her own issues and feeling inferior, CATU especially made that apparent, and I get it! But that doesn’t make it okay for her to be mean to her brothers, you know?). Also scenes where she says something nice to Jeremy and then rude to her brothers...idk, it just rubs me the wrong way. (I also dislike it STRONGLY when she is condescending to Isabella. I think this only happens, like, twice...but Isabella is my fave so I’ll never forget, LOL)

Favorite line: oh MAN how do I CHOOSE??? She’s got so many iconic lines. Maybeeee: “It’s SO not fair! I mean why am I still on sock detail when Gladys from accounting got promoted to commander and she doesn’t even know hold to hold a blaster!!! No I mean, really, she failed that part of the exam three times, she held it backwards AND upside down but she’s a second cousin to some mid-level darth and so SHE gets the promotion?? What about ME??? If they would just open their eyes, they’d see that I’ve got everything it takes, I COULD BE THE STORMIEST STORM TROOPER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!” Oh i also like (in reference to lumpy tables) “it’s the new hip-thing, it’s so European!!!” And also “Though I’ve often thought of you as just a nuisance and a bother, today I can’t imagine havin’ better little brothers!”

BrOTP: Candace and Stacy, 100%!! I love them and their friendship SO much, it really feels genuine (especially as their characters develop more). Their subplot in “Canderemy” is one of my favorite Candace plot lines in the show, it’s so funny and so sweet at the end (and a welcome distraction from a certain OTHER subplot in that episode.....yes I’m still mad about the ending🙃)

OTP: CANDEREMY! I’ll be honest, when I was younger, Canderemy kind of annoyed me because Phinabella was my fave and I always got mad when Candace had better luck with love than Isabella (because Candace was mean and Isabella wasn’t and I identified with Isabella and like, I’m just trying to give y’all a picture of younger me😂). But now that Phinabella is canon and I’ve gotten older, I really, REALLY appreciate Candace and Jeremy. Candace doesn’t have to act a certain way for Jeremy to like her: he likes her just the way she is and actively DISCOURAGES her from changing her identity just to appeal to him more. That’s so refreshing and wonderful to see in media aimed at kids/teens. I love that, for the majority of the show, they’re either “talking” or in a relationship and it’s just, a healthy relationship! No multi-episode arcs about them breaking up, no love triangles, no petty arguments (sometimes the show leans into these tropes for an episode, but that’s it. And it’s always resolved). They genuinely care about one another, and I think it’s really sweet. (Plus a Canderemy wedding is RIFE with possibility for pre-relationship Phinabella moments👀)

nOTP: I don’t have any specific nOTPS for Candace, so I’ll just say I’m fine with any ship between her and someone her age (that she isn’t related to, obviously. AND THAT GOES FOR ALL MY SHIPS. I don’t want to say that on every one of these character posts so like, just know. That is where i stand.)

Random headcanon: Candace and Jeremy adopted Fred. I just think it’s a sweet headcanon 🥺. Alsooooo ok this doesn’t specifically revolve around Candace, but when she and Jeremy got married, Isabella and Phineas were both a part of the wedding party and Candace made SURE they were paired together to walk down the isle💕. And Candace continues collecting Ducky Momo memerobilia well into adulthood!

Unpopular opinion: Candace isn’t a terrible, irredeemable character.....but she’s not a purely amazing character who can do no wrong either. I feel like some fans either despise her fully or love everything about her. I’m in the middle. I see her as a flawed character who was written by numerous people and thus is somewhat inconsistent in her characterization. I like it when she is characterized as kindhearted but easily overwhelmed and longing for validation, so that is how I choose to portray her in my own writing/headcanons.

Song I associate with them: look Candace sings so many FANTASTIC songs in the show that I can’t associate her with any other music. Like I guess Ashley Tisdale’s “Kiss the Girl” because there’s fics of her singing that to Phineas and Isabella and I think that’s adorable? (I know I wrote one of those waaaaaaay back in the day, LOL). But in general, every Candace song is great. “The Universe is Against Me” ESPECIALLY.

favorite picture of them: you know what Y’ALL GET FOUR PICTURES BECAUSE BIG SISTER CANDACE IS THE BEST OK

Thank you so much, anon! As you can see, I’ve got quite a few thoughts on Candace😅. At the end of the day, I think she’s a great character and I relate to her a lot! I had a ton of fun writing all these answers out.

This is the last ask I’m going to answer tonight, but I’m looking forward to answering more tomorrow!!!! 😁

[zpetlovesglitter]

The Wicked Powers Theories

The Wicked Powers has recently been getting me excited WAY too much - which says a lot about how weird I am since Cassie hasn’t even started on it yet (LOL).

aND, so, I kind of thought it’d be nice to jot down some predictions and theories on how the series might go and maybe some thoughts on THE SHIPS (that really do be the real TEA).

So.Here we go.And do let me know about any thoughts you have on this topic as well - I read anything about TWP like a crazed creature these days istg.

1)The POV has already been envisioned to be from Ty, Dru and Kit. I absolutely love this settlement since they are all very intriguing characters. Ty is an interesting person and his actions are always unpredictable, so we might enjoy this one. And,I believe he is at The Scholomance while the story progresses, followed by Livvy (Ghost Livvy, I mean).It’s still unclear what Livvy’s situation is, so I can’t wait to know more about that - it’s bound to be something unexpected. And, as for Dru, it’s kinda obvious. We all know that WE HAVE A LOVE TRIANGLE COMING UP. But, other than that, we also know she attends The Academy and finally starts to makes some friends and even has that really close Italian (..or was it Spanish???) Shadowhunter friend who’s her age and Cassie also revealed that the two are really tight indeed. And I will be honing in on the Love Triangle soon - I told you I’ll be trying to spill whatever tea I’m guessing at.  And, as for the last character WE HAVE KIT! OMFG YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE OLDER BROTHER KIT.LIKE GOSH DARN IT HE IS SO ADORABLE AND MINA IS SO EFFING CUTE I CAN’T EVEN-                          AND KIT’S TRAINING WITH JEM AND HE IS GOING TO BE A WELL-TRAINED SHADOWHUNTER IN TWP, SO YAYYYY!! And, I absolutely CANNOT wait for MinaXKit interactions, they are the cutest siblings ever and I absolutely know that Mina grows up to be sarcastic. I can’t wait for the possible sarcastic arguments between Kit and 4-year old Mina. YOU THINK I FORGOT ABOUT KITxTY? NOPE.THE REAL SHET’S COMING UP.

2)Now,we know that the storyline is going to have something to do with that Faerie Heirloom that was from the Rosales Family. And, Cassie also said it was going to be kind of an Arthurian Legend-ish story. If you don’t know the Arthurian Legend, I suggest you read on it. I’m not sure if Cassie meant the characters and LOVE Aspect of it or the LEGEND aspect of it as in the stuff about Excalibur and all. But, for now we’ll view it in both and examine it, shall we?

King Arthur's reign ends after his wife and best knight have an affair.

This is the drama in the legend.But, there are no relationships with the MCs yet. So idk. I’m clueless. Like, maybe Dru has a relationship?? Okay I’m clutching at practically nothingness so don’t judge me. :/

So,it’s obviously something to do with the LEGEND.

I am afraid I cannot say too much about it, since I have never read too deeply about it. But, here’s some of the basics:

-He managed to pull out Excalibur from the rock it was stuck in.

-He wielded Excalibur for the people and not for his own self-interest.

-He gets help from a wizard named Merlin.

-The peeps go on a quest.

And I have this reference from a website..I’ll hit u with the link as well, if you’d like to read more on it like I did

Arthurian legend, the body of stories and medieval romances, known as the matter of Britain, centring on the legendary king Arthur. Medieval writers, especially the French, variously treated stories of Arthur’s birth, the adventures of his knights, and the adulterous love between his knight Sir Lancelot and his queen, Guinevere. This last situation and the quest for the Holy Grail (the vessel used by Christ at the Last Supper and given to Joseph of Arimathea) brought about the dissolution of the knightly fellowship, the death of Arthur, and the destruction of his kingdom.

(I’ve linked it with the text above.)

So,now I thought this was interesting- the destruction part. After all, it’s something I’m expecting about the Shadowhunters. Will the Clave maybe be destroyed? Or maybe Faerie will be destroyed? So,there were three things that brought on this uh Destruction.FIRST, his wife and his best buddy were going behind his back and doing them lovey-dovey stuff. And they all go on some quest to retrieve something important to them. So, this sounds like something plausible to be the plot of TWP. Maybe the Heirloom’s missing? And who goes on the quest though? Maybe they venture through Faerie? BLAH MY HEAD HURTS SOME THINGS ARE BETTER TO BE SURPRISED WITH ;)

-----I kinda scrolled back up while writing about Janus down there and remembered CLARY MIGHT BE TAKEN HOSTAGE LIKE YESS AND THEY GO FIND HER MAYBE?

3)We will defo see Christina, Mark and Kieran at some point- no worries, Emma and Julian too. Happy Couples! XD

4)So,then we can look forward to Dru and Jaime’s interactions. I am absolutely excited for this the most, as a shipper of the two. If you remember, we saw Jaime ignoring her for a while back there at the end of QOAAD and then he says “See ya at the Academy soon ig”. I really do hope they meet and hang out as friends, at least. I am excited to see what kind of trope it’s gonna be tho. Like, do they ignore each other and remain awkward until they start the adventure stuff in the book where they eventually have to talk to each other after years or smth. Or, maybe they’re really good friends rn. But, what I’ll warn y’all shippers is that they might not end up together, and could wind up as brother-sister-ish kind of best buddies. Which is equally cute a relationship imo. It’s a really sweet thing to be, really. I lowkey hope Cassie spins something beautiful for their relationship like a sibling-like best friends kind of thing. But, I feel like they might have feelings for each other in secret. Or maybe they date. Or maybe they suppress their secret-feelings for the sake of friendship later on in the book and end up having that really sweet friendship I was talking about.There are SO many options and that is precisely why I am so freaking excited.

5)JAIME ROCIO ROSALES.       Like, I have this gut feeling that he might end up being my fave male protagonist character in TSC. He’s got it ALL. Like, the sense of humour, the looks, the bubbly yet brooding personality, the quirks and OFC THE FRICKING NAME ITSELF IS CUTE AF LIKE BRUH I CANNOT WAIT TO READ ABOUT HIM.I have so much to say about Jaime but I’d rather we let ourselves simply wait for the crumbs Cassie might give us or maybe reread all his parts in TDA like I do everyday or just wait for the book to come out rather than simp for someone we know nothing about yet....

6)Ash Morgenstern.         He’s a cute lil bean.        That was random and untrue lmao. He’s not a ‘lil bean’. He’s totally badass with dem wings and all, but we know he’s soft inside for Janus and ofc Dru, I believe. I find him the most intriguing character, honestly. I would love to know what goes through his head. He’s actually, like, the one character in TSC that I don’t have all figured out. He gon surprise us all for sure tho. He is awesome. That’s all I have to say for now. And he looks up to Janus which is SO GODDAMN SWEET AHHHH. And THE WINGS I CANNOT WAIT TO READ MORE ABOUT THE WINGS IT SOUNDED SO BADASS ISTG I LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT GOSH DARN IT. But he really do be a cute lil bean lowkey tho.

7)Kit and Ty LOL. I have no words really. But lemme tell you how it might go. There is definitely going to be some kind of reunion. AND THEN THAT’S WHERE IT GETS CUTE. They could either be awkward and we know what tension that gets us-perhaps some whisperings of My Watson...(?  ;) and maybe they go all sad and brooding with dem looks later OR, they could be the sweetie-pies they were before and be happy and all HIII BUDDDYYYY MISSED YAAA LESS GO BE DETECTIVES YAY BURN IT UP MAH BUDDY!! Either way it’s going to be cute af and we know it . TRUST IN CASSIE Y’ALL.I trust Cassie to let this ship sail the seven seas and seven more like it deserves.

8)Ash and Dru So, Ash has a strange lil fixation on Dru and I believe he even thought she was ‘pretty’ or something. It was definitely a good adjective, but I think he said ‘pretty’. idk but we know he likes her. and I can imagine a nice relationship. I can picture them with her hair flying in the wind and they meet for the first time or smth. IHNI WHAT IM SAYING. But, there will be DRAMA. They are going to be real cute with each other YOU CAN BET ON THAT.And, by cute I do not necessarily mean ‘Oh, you have the loveliest eyes’ or some shet like that. I have a feeling it’s going to be a case of ‘Well,that’s not weird or anything YOU WEIRDO - NO U - NO U - NO U’ However this relationship is going to go, I know that it’ll be a sweet one.And, for all you shippers of these two, I have no assurances that HE IS THE ONE or anything but he is definitely a candidate. Jaime is going to be some competition I can tell. So, idk. It depends on the Jaime x Dru ship to decide things for Ash x Dru ship imo, since it might be a no-brainer if the two have feelings for each other- I mean,Jaime is an actually perfect love interest in TSC, while Ash is strong potential Best-Friend material, so it’s ONLY if Jaime and Dru don’t like each other that way that Ash could make it as a love interest. So, if y’all wanna find out what’s in it for you guys, ask Cassie maybe about how the Jaime x Dru ship might go, the next time u wanna ask her ;)

9)Tavvy and maybe the kid Helen and Aline might have had We were getting hints of another baby, so HERE WE GO.Tavvy might have a playmate. :D. YAYYYYYYYYYY

10)Janus  I’m honestly worried about him. He is a worrisome character. I hate empathising with the antagonist, personally. AAAAHHHH . I hope we see some character development in him. I really don’t want to see him as an antagonist in the story. He’s sweet and feels cheated, but he should realise that it ain’t Jace’s fault but SEBASTIAN’S fault. I would like for him to make amends with Jace :( And, also, he might get the story started in TWP tho idk. But, seriously tho, when he went home in that short story and Ash asked, “I thought you were gone forever?” or something of that sort and he shook his head sadly and Ash went soft for him. Like, that fricking broke my heart. I love this relationship tho. And, i hope Clary and him can be good friends. But, I feel like he might end up dying to save her or smth and make us all cry . T_T

11)WHAT TF IS GOING ON WITH THE SHADOWHUNTER POLITICS RN THO?HOW AND WHERE ARE THEY ALL SURVIVING TOGETHER WHAT IS THEIR SYSTEM AND STUFF THIS IS NOT A POINT WITH POTENTIAL THEORIES COZ HONESTLY I WANT TO BE SURPRISED BUT I THINK THEY MIGHT ALL JUST BE IN HIDING AND THEN IN TWP THEY MIGHT HAVE TO COME OUT FOR A QUEST OR SMTH AND WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE SHADOWHUNTERS AT THE CLIMAX OF THIS WHOLE SERIES??? IT IS THE END OF TSC SO IM SCARED AND KINDA SAD TOO :(((((((

12)Thule We might learn more about the Thule world and maybe they restore it or maybe the Quest is in Thule. idk. we don’t know much, but Thule will most probably be explored a lot. Cassie wouldn’t have opened up Thule for no reason.

13)Zara and Emma  Showdown? Befriend e/o ? What’s in store for these two? If it’s a showdown we get to see CORTANA YAY I AM OBSESSED WITH CORTANA NOW BECAUSE OF CORDELIA AND HER OBSESSION GOSH DARN IT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME

14)BIG WAR I see a huge war coming I just know it. It’s a climax so there MUST be a big war and so I cannot wait! Feel like there’s gonna be some deaths as well. Lowkey feel like Jia might die. I can feel it. :(

15)The best-friend shadowhunter of Dru is a nice thing to look forward to! I can’t wait to read about the two! And I love the fact that Dru is finally exposed to new people. And, for anyone who’s confused as to how she goes to the Academy, in QOAAD she only said she’ll have some maturity done AFTER some years .  Those years are over and she at the Academy now hecc yeah I BELIEVE THE BFF IS CALLED THAI AND SHE’S FROM THE SPANISH INSTITUTE CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG???

16)Magnus Bane He is literally everywhere. He gon be here too. No worries for all the Magnus Bane stans. He’ll make it here without a doubt!  Good for you :).  and the entire community of shadowhunters they literally always need him  17)THE MAIN MAIN PLOT THE SHADOWHUNTERS SHOWDOWN IS OBVIOUSLY GOING TO ALSO BE RELATED TO THE PRINCES OF HELL COMING TOGETHER AND I AM TOO SCARED TO LOOK TOO INTO IT BUT WE KNOW SHIZ COMING GNJODIFPEDWEFHUGBJ VM

18)THIS IS KINDA RANDOM BUT I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE SELF-ESTEEM GROWTH IN DRU LIKE PLEASE SHE QUEEN MWAH

[mcrmadness]

Madness draws: Behind the Scenes of the latest Farin&Bela pencil drawing.

Aka the one that’s also my icon, even when that was a big risk to take because normally I start hating the photos I have once drawn, especially if I have failed miserably. This is how the drawing itself turned out:

ATTENTION: The original post about that drawing, with better image, behind this link.

This post is solely about the process itself with lots of pictures and also plenty of gifs, because I promised to do one if people would like to see that and I got some comments saying that they’re looking forward for that. So, here’s now that post!

For starters I have to apologize for the terrible quality that is the photos. I used my phone camera only and never thought about posting them, I just took them as a reference for myself and to show the progress to a friend and only after finishing the drawing I noticed that the angle of the camera causes a huge impact on the perspective of the drawing, so I sometimes might have done useless work when I thought some perspective was wrong when it was actually the photo that was wrong and not my work! I mean, take a look at these photos of the finished piece:

You see that? I realized this when I took maybe the second photo of the Farin sheet and looked at it and couldn’t believe my eyes because I didn’t remember drawing his torsto THAT small! And then I looked at the drawing and was like “wtf???” because it looked nothing like in the photo and then it hit me...

Also, another thing that I learn was that I might need to pay more attention to the perspective of the whole thing also because when I draw, I sit at the table so I am constantly seeing the drawing from my perspective instead of looking at it from above so that’s probably also going to affect the way I draw. I try to keep that in mind in the future so I can avoid redrawing things again and again just because my perspective is different than the reference photo’s.

Also the giant forehead of Farin’s in the photo on the right might have caused me to laugh a bit too much but anyway, let’s continue~ Or more like: let’s start for real this time.

Here’s the reference photo to y’all:

What I did in photoshop was to draw a line between them to see how I can divide the photo on two A4 papers. I had been thinking about this photo for some time already because it’s one of my favorites (but now I just feel cringy looking at it after I have drawn it... goddamnit!), and I got this idea that I could try drawing it on two papers in case I fuck up so I can start over or try again without having to do twice the work! Which was actually a good decision because this was the first version of Farin:

And it was awful. I also realized I had never drawn Farin’s face from he front. I have drawn him before from the side a few times but maybe once it came out actually good so that was why I decided to do the 2 paper method - because I knew it was not going to be an easy job! Bela is relatively easy to draw so I knew already that I would not have too many problems with that one.

I struggled with Farin’s eyes the most, at first.

It took me a while to figure out how to do that white line in his lower lid. Keep in mind that this was my first face portrait in over 10 years so I was very, very rusty and I just didn’t remember how to draw like anything anymore. (The photo is tilted because Bela’s face is a bit tilted and my hand can’t draw anything that is not straight [lol] so I have to rotate the photo in order to even draw the sketch of Bela’s eyes.)

So I took my sketchbook and tried to do some eyes...

I was still struggling so much here until I remembered about blending. And I didn’t have my hopes high but grabbed the eyeshadow applicators (my fave tool for blending) anyway, and switched to my other sketchbook in case the paper was the issue and:

Blending. It was all about blending! So with that in mind, I realized I can continue and I don’t need to do these in my old way, everything doesn’t have to have a lineart done but some of the job is done not with the pencils but with the eraser.

Anyhow, the previous Farin looked really bad and was too big as well so I just discarded that and started a new sheet because the old lines were not coming off properly anymore. I don’t remember if this is the old face or new but I think this might still be the old one:

Yes it definitely is the old because look at those lines! This is the new sheet:

And in the photo you can see one of my pencils - I use Derwent Graphic pencils, it’s a 12 pencil set with very soft pencils, starting with H, F and HB and ending to 9B. With this one I used F, HB, B, 2B, 5B, 7B and 9B. The white pencil is actually my new love aka the eraser pencil Koh-I-Noor Hardmuth. It’s amazing, I recommend! I just didn’t order 10 new ones this other day. I actually used about 1,5 full eraser pencils on this drawing alone so that’s why 10.

Here’s a “little” gif of the process on Farin:

I felt crazy when I went for the shirt, and I felt like I was going crazy MEANWHILE drawing it but in the end I did it and I’m super proud of it!

Below is the reference photo, it was pain in the ass to follow all those lines with my eyes and try to find what was I drawing and where was I but I think I did good. That was a fun challenge.

Okay so, when I was done with the new lineart, I decided to go for the shading and blending because that’s what really makes the drawings to pop. I started with the left (his right, my left) side of Farin’s face because I’m right-handed, and in the first photo I had done just the left (right) eye and mouth and nose, but in the second there’s also the other eye done already:

Keep in mind this was not the last time I drew the eyes. Not even close.

Something was off with the right (left) eye so I had to do that one again and I noticed that when you blend but haven’t erased and cleaned it yet, it looks like a black eye :DDD So here’s the before and after images of that cleaning. (Cleaning = I draw, blend, erase, draw and blend more when needed and then erase again, and repeat this as many times as I need until it starts to look ready to my eye.)

So here Farin was “finished” but if you still remember the final piece or compare it to it, you might notice it looks quite different. And you’re right. But more about that later, because at this point I started to work on Bela.

It actually started really well - I also had to do the whole lineart again because it did not match the size of “finished” Farin. I don’t remember if this is the first or second eye but when I had drawn his eye for the first time, I noticed it was not in line with Farin so I had to redraw it. A gif of the progress:

What’s that brown paper I’m using, you may ask? Well I noticed that people have some sort of paper on top of their art to keep it from smudging and I have no clue what that is so here’s my poor artist recommendation: baking paper! I tested it and it works (if you just remember to keep it under your hand, that is...) so that is, in fact, baking paper! :DD

I have drawn Bela’s face a few times before and he’s just so much easier to draw. In fact I used 4-5 days on Farin but I managed to start and finish (this version of) Bela just in one day. And that means that out of 12 hours (because I literally used the whole day for drawing) I used maybe like... 5h or something on Bela. That’s how much easier he really is to draw.

I don’t know wtf is wrong with Farin’s face but he’s extremely difficult to draw and I’m not the only one who has been saying this. I guess he just looks so regular but still unique enough to be difficult to draw. Bela then again has features that are very unique and very... caricature-like? I mean that just by drawing his nose or chin you can make a comic book Bela look exactly like himself, and with more realistic style his eyes already do a lot, but Farin’s really the opposite. My comic book version of Farin is literally the most basic version I can draw, it’s how I draw those characters and the only thing that makes him look himself is the hair, and his nose in a side profile. So I think that’s why it’s so difficult to draw him because he doesn’t look too regular but still regular enough to make is a very challenging task to do properly.

So yeah, the same day as I started working on Bela, I was also “finished” with the drawing:

Also look at how different it looks like from this perspective:

With the reference photo open in photoshop and I don’t understand how Bela looks more like himself in my drawing than in the photo. Also when I showed the WIP to my brother, he said that I somehow had succeeded at making Farin look more like Farin than what he does in the photo even. It’s weird.

But we were still far from finished. I was going to use the fixative on this soon but it just kept snowing the whole week so I couldn’t so every time I walked past the drawings, I stopped to fix this and that. For days I kept telling myself “I’m done, I can’t do more than this, I can’t do better than this.” and considered the drawing finished but still kept fixing things. Every time I was “done” with the other drawing, I saw something to fix in the other one and once that was done, I felt like the first one wasn’t as good and had to fix something from it too. And that led to a cycle where the other drawing was always better than the other and the worse one needed to be fixed. In the end I was hating the whole process and myself and my skills and I was already ready to abandon this whole thing and call it a day and never ever show it to anyone “because I cannot draw”. The photo above, here’s a list of things I redrew after that:

Bela’s eyes, the right (left) one at least twice.

Bela’s nose.

Bela’s mouth a couple of times.

Farin’s eyes x588045028520

And a list of things I kept fixing and fixing:

Bela’s chin.

Bela’s neck shadows.

Bela’s hairline.

Farin’s whole face was tilted so I tried to fix that.

Farin’s face was too wide, which meant also partially redrawing the ear.

Farin’s hair was too long and wide too.

Farin’s nose.

Farin’s mouth might be the only thing I drew only once and I’m actually still extremely proud of how it came to be. I did the lips solely with blending so that was super exciting to notice how I can use it for drawing and don’t need the pencils for everything!

During Bela’s eyes and nose and mouth especially I was hating myself so much and I felt like I was taking the risk of ruining the whole thing and a few times I was certain that was what I had just done too, until I somehow was able to save it again. But because of that, I wasn’t able to make Bela’s mouth any lighter anymore, the color wasn’t just coming off the paper so had to use what was there and make it look like it’s how it’s supposed to be, too.

Here’s a gif about those changes on Bela - the first one has the old eyes and nose, the others have minor changed on the nose and mouth:

(The blacks probably don’t get any blacker in reality, I did add more color to it all the time but mainly it’s just the lighting and my phone camera changing the brightness.)

I did the final details on his nose without even using the reference photo anymore. The photo didn’t seem to make any sense anymore at all so I was just using my mechanical pencil and the blending tool and eraser to make is look better. To my eye it looked more like a very flat nose with a big tip of the nose and he doesn’t have a flat nose and I tried to get rid of that illusion. I still feel like it makes him look bit weird but I’m not entirely sure how. Maybe it was because of my improvisation, idk...

So, Bela was then finally finished for the last time. In the Farin piece his left (right) eye had been bugging me the whole time and I didn’t want to touch it but still I felt like I have to do something about it because it was bugging me way too much. I then figured I could draw the eye line by line and take a photo of it each time to see if it looks right already or not, maybe I could then avoid doing all the phases before I was sure what to think about it. I mean, now the only way to see if it was correct was to draw e.g. an eye from start to finish, I couldn’t see from just the lineart or unblended eye if it was in the right spot etc. And here’s that progress on a gif:

The gif about only the eye would look so nice if Tumblr didn’t make the gifs so HUGE - this one is actually only 300px or 400px or something:

Apparently I also wasn’t happy with the other eye because:

But good thing is: I really enjoy drawing eyes. I love seeing them to “come alive”, my favorite part was to eraser a bit of the color on the iris to make them look like they are actually shiny! It feels like something so small to do and yet it makes a huge impact on the drawing!

And here’s yet another gif of the whole Farin sheet with all of the changes, including the last changes that made his head narrower, and less tilted and more in line. Look at the left side of his head especially to see that:

I can also see his nose changing between the first few photos. I keep forgetting about that but yeah, I also fixed that a little at some point.

And last but not least, the whole drawing in some sort of a timelapse gif:

Last two are the same but just a photo and the scan of the finished drawing. I still keep seeing things I would do differently but no can do, I already used fixative on it, also to keep myself from obsessing with it any more :D And to use it as a study of some sort. I have never been able to draw a perfect pencil drawing and this isn’t one either. I probably never can draw perfect drawings from references.

I do enjoy the whole shading and blending process, so much so that when I was editing these photos, I just wanted to start drawing something so bad but I also figured that I start to lose motivation when I get to the point where everything should be finished but I just can’t make it perfect. Like the current WIP I have, all I should do is to get the proportions and perspective and the lines of their faces correctly and I would be ready but it feels more like a superpower some people possess and I’m not one of those. I don’t know what is it but I just feel that I cannot see. I don’t know how to explain it, but I can’t see what I try to do and somehow keep drawing everything the wrong way. Just like in this post’s drawing too. There’s still things that are wrong and I know what it is but I don’t know how to solve it. My hands just don’t listen to me and they can’t do what I think they should. I also think the reason I cannot draw perfect copies of photos is because you can always see my “handprint” in them. If I copy a photo, it will look like a photo and not like a drawing made by me. So I believe that in my drawing there’s always a part of me visible and I’m not entirely sure if it’s a good thing or not. On bad days it’s not a good thing, obviously. On good days? Well I guess it’s good then because it just means I have my own style which I really should appreciate. But I wish I had my style only when I want it to be visible, but I can’t control it. Just like I cannot write text by hand that would look like it was written with a computer, so I guess I should just try to get used to it, no matter how much it’d bug me sometimes.

[ts-unsolved]

Final Wrap-up for Chapter One

((since chapter one will be coming to a close shortly and there is still an assortment of questions left over, here is a masterpost of responses to queries that couldn’t be addressed during the story! 

[reminder: the ask box will be left open, however the characters are not available. please keep in mind that non-plot related questions will not be answered by the characters after this post.]

Anonymous said: ((Just wanted to tell you your drawings are so pretty and I love ur blog. That is all I have no braincells to ask questions))

Anonymous said: OKAY MOD I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE THIS AU SO MUCH AND ITS SO COOL AND GOOD AND YOUR ART IS TOO!! sorry for caps I’m just excited

Thank you! Sorry I didn’t always get around to answering asks like this, but for every one that was sent in, I appreciated it with all my heart. You guys are angels 💖

Anonymous said: What is one haunted location you guys would really like to visit someday?

Poveglia is definitely the highest on the list for the notoriety alone, although they would likely never get the permission to go (the history in general is almost excessively horrible and tragic, so nothing good would come out of doing an episode there. Maybe it’d be good as a final-chapter type location? 🤔).

@anxious-fander-bean​ said: Hey Logan, have you ever tried swing dancing? It's really fun and good excersize! There's also a lot of bouncing and upbeat music, so Patton might enjoy it as well! ((I'm doing it. I need the qpp boys to be happy and have fun, bc they deserve it.))

(LOGAN: I’ll...consider it.)

You did it, you got them to go on some good ol’ platonic dates! B)

Anonymous said: I feel bad that I don't have any deep question or something along those lines, but what's your favorite thing to bake, Pat? - 💐

That’s alright! Questions don’t have to be deep to be fun/interesting. 

(PATTON: Cupcakes! You can make so many different flavors, and there are tons of fun ways to decorate them!)

@why-should-i-tell-youu2 said: Why cant anyone else see the seal?

You need to have The Sight to be able to see demon sigils. Patton has this ability naturally, and Dee has it because Elliott taught it to him. Otherwise, Virgil and Roman would be the closest in terms of gaining this ability, but a scared/skeptical part of them is holding them back. 

Anonymous said: My good dorks, is there a way to, I don’t know, get a better/more effective charm for your office? One that costs more than $10? -🍁

Anonymous said: Hey, Logan, potential naturalistic explanation for ya: depending on what the charm was made of, shifts in ambient room temperature could have caused minuscule expansions and contractions in the material that would eventually crack the charm. Do I believe my own explanation? Absolutely not. Am I grasping at straws for a non-supernatural explanation? Absolutely. And ambient room temperature doesn’t even begin to explain the red symbol around the charm

(LOGAN: Our budgeting is already a mess as it is, the last thing we need is to waste more funds on decorations. And that theory seems much more reasonable than the contrary explanation.)

Anonymous said: Is the demon that Pavreen summoned the same demon that possessed Elliott?

Anonymous said: Welp Virge SUMMONED A DEMON- (Why do I have a feeling Remy was the demon that possessed Elliot-)

Nope, they’re all different demons! The demon that Parveen summoned is notoriously difficult to contact, so a bunch of teenagers wouldn’t have been able to do it. Likewise for Remy; you can only summon him once you have his True Name, and he’s already destroyed most references to that (sorry Patton).

Anonymous said: omg omg omg what part of mythology is remy part of???

He’s not from any particular mythology, but he is partly based off of Alps from German folklore and the general mythology around sleep paralysis!

Anonymous said: Can Patton see supernatural beings like ghosts and demons and stuff? I just think it would be interesting if his scars make him able to see them :3c

Anonymous said: If both Dee and Patton can see the sigil, and Dee can see ghosts, does that mean Pat can see ghosts too? With the whole red glowing thing (forgot what its called) it seems to be connected.

Yes he can see ghosts/demons, and you’re right that the scars (or rather the deal with the demon which gave him his powers and scars) are what lead to him being able to do it. The red is just a general indicator of something supernatural/not of our Realm.

Anonymous said: Wait so if Patton and his family all have that mark could that mean Patton is not completely human 👀 -🌈

I supposed you could say that Patton’s not entirely human because he’s a witch who was born without a soul, but he’d find that pretty offensive tbh.

Anonymous said: Are Elliott and Patton maybe related, even distantly? Also, roman needs to suck it up and have Feelings for the Snake Man

There’s no relation between Elliott and Patton. Elliott is the child of a seer and a psychic, Patton is the son of witches. They’re similar, but different. (Also you’re assuming that Roman hasn’t liked the Snake Man since high school, but considered him off-limits because he’s his brother’s best friend).

Anonymous said: Does Patton know that Dee can see spirits and does Dee know that Patton is protecting them all?

Anonymous said: Dee, pat, do you know that each other can see the sigil? 

Anonymous said: is ... is patton a witch and dee a dee-mon and that's why they don't like each other.....?

Anonymous said: Pat what do you think about making deals with demons?

They’re both aware of each other’s secrets! Technically they’re both doing their best to protect everyone, but that doesn’t mean they agree with each other’s methods or bond over the shared responsibility. 

Patton is indeed a witch, and Dee is a regular human who happened to summon a demon one time. Patton thinks Dee is the occult equivalent of a satanist, which he disagrees with because dark magic is unnatural/dangerous in his eyes (making deals with demons only leads to trouble!), and would prefer Dee not endanger his friends. Dee doesn’t like Patton because of his perceived moral superiority, and finds the way he can be so secretive and two-faced creepy 

Regardless, they’re both sitting in glass houses and have more in common than they think.

Anonymous said: Patton Should Hug Dee *

Maybe. But he won’t. 8′D

Anonymous said: Since Dee has been able to see ghosts for a long time, was he an open believer in ghosts before Elliot died? Since it was mentioned that the reason he lies about his belief is because he knows that they're dangerous, he wouldn't have had a reason to hide it in the past. And if he did are any of the others aware of the belief change? Well, besides Remus. I'm guessing that one is pretty obvious.

He may have been more involved as a believer in the past, though that doesn’t mean he was ever super open about it. He was aware of how it would look like to outsiders (being genuinely skeptical at one point himself), so he wasn’t going to paint a target on his back by talking about ghosts and demons and things most people can’t see.

Of course, that didn’t stop people from stereotyping and making those sorts of assumptions about their friend group anyway, but no one besides them really knew about their secret-- not even Virgil.

Anonymous asked: What would happen if one time, the gang ended up getting something supernatural on camera?

The result of that would depend on the being. Ghosts can kinda appear on camera, although it’s very rare for them to appear as a full bodied apparition, which is why they usually only manifest in spirit orbs or light/shadows. Poltergeists are better since they’re able to interact with objects, but likewise since they can’t manifest into a physical form they can easily be brushed off. Demons and other miscellaneous creatures will straight up not appear if captured directly on film; you’ll simply get video glitches and distortions.  

So essentially, they may technically have found something already, but capturing evidence that’s also compelling is a lot more difficult than you’d think. I imagine there’s a good chance that anything legitimate wouldn’t get taken too seriously because of how easy it is to fake evidence nowadays.

Anonymous said: Okay so a little bit of a rant but not really ig but imagine the ladylike and unsolved crossover for this AU like I can see it as like Thomas' friends dressing up Roman and Dee in style and seeing a blushing mess and maybe flirting going on because of how good the clothing complements each other but this is kinda a weak idea lol

It’s not a weak idea at it, it’s really cute! (though I may just have a soft spot for the Ladylike cast and crossovers). 

The only thing to note is that I’ve chosen not to include Thomas’ friends in this AU because I personally weird about writing fiction about real people? (I was on the fence about including character!Thomas for a while too, tbh). So, apologies to anyone who’s sent similar asks or wanted to see any of Thomas’ friends; they wont be around!

Anonymous said: Did Dee and Remus ever have that talk Dee said he would try to have a while back????

They might have gotten the opportunity to chat back when Remus came back to help shoot the Room 1046 video. It wouldn’t have been a complete reconciliation by any means (dealing with years of baggage in one sitting is Hard), but now Remus is aware that Dee is open to discuss things again at some point in the future, so progress!

Anonymous said: wait wHAT?! When did he (Emile Picani) die?? Give us the deets oh wise one

Anonymous said: emile is... dead? what happened?

I see y’all, but unfortunately you’re not getting any answers from me just yet! You’ll have to wait until the next chapter~.

Anonymous said: Shit is about to go down and I am worried about the next ghost "adventure"

:) Don’t Worry About It.))

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter Four

Leandra and Melissa sat at the cafe table with Robyn and she told them about her conversation with Chris. 

“So he’s got you thinking exactly what we’ve been telling you all these years,” Melissa mused.

“No, he just has me questioning if there was something in my marriage that I missed,” Robyn replied.

“I think you should meet him, Robs,” Leandra interjected, “you two seem to have a really good understanding.”

“No, we have a good thing going. I don’t want to ruin that.”

“I don’t think you want to be happy.”

“I do want to be happy but on my own terms. And I’m not ready. Talking to him made me think about my ex and just reminded me that I really still love him. And I don’t want to. I swear I don’t want to but something has this hold on me and-”

“We get it. Y’all were together for a long time.”

“It’s not just that. It’s- you ever meet someone and you just know that they’re it? Well he was it for me.”

“So what do you call this thing with Christian?”

“A friendship. I have no interest in making it more than that.”

“You ever been to therapy?”

“I tried it for a few weeks but I didn’t get anywhere.”

“Maybe you should try it again.”

“I don’t know.”

“Robyn, do you like being miserable or something? Is that the only thing still connecting you to Chris? Because if not, I don’t understand your apprehension to getting better.”

“I want to get better, I’m just scared of what that means.”

“Well Sis, you’ll never find out until you try.”

Robyn sat back in her office after returning from lunch with Leandra and Melissa. She didn’t have any appointments until 3 unless any emergencies came in so she had time to just think. She grabbed her phone and went to her dating app

A: Are you available to talk?

A few minutes went by before she got an answer

C: Sure, I just finished my last class. What’s up?

A: My friends think I should go to therapy

C: Ok. What do you think?

A: I’m not ready.

C: Why do you think that?

A: I don’t want to spill my guts to a stranger. Not when there’s someone who deserves it more

C: Deserves what? Your anger or your feelings?

A: My anger

C: So tell that person

A: I don't know where he is

C: So find him. I doubt your ex-husband was like some CIA type

A: Lol, no but I don’t think I’m ready to talk to him either

C: Do you ever think you’ll be ready?

A: I’m not sure

C: I think you’re thinking about it too much. Honestly, therapy should be for you and no one else. If you aren’t ready you won’t do anything but waste your money because you’ll fight everything at every turn. Nothing penetrates if you aren’t ready to hear it. And even if the therapist does happen to get through to you, it will not give you the closure that you’re seeking. The questions you want answers to, only your ex-husband can answer

A: I hate that you’re right.

C: Lol, there’s a lot of trauma that influences this rightness

A: Unfortunately. How are you? Was rude of me not to ask that first

C: You had something important to say, no worries. I’m fine. I was talking to my daughter and she wants a puppy

A: What kind?

C: Not sure yet. We’re gonna do some research before we make a decision

A: That’s good. I’ve had a lot of puppies be sent to my shelter because people didn’t pick the right dog for their lifestyle

C: That must suck. Do you have any pets?

A: No, I’m not home enough

C: Ah, understandable

A: would the puppy be your first pet?

C: No, I had a dog when I was a child but in my old profession, me and my ex were never home enough, it was always something with either my job or hers

A: That’s understandable. 

C: You ready for your gala?

A: Physically? Yes. Emotionally? No. I’m working on convincing myself not to cancel

C: Is it really that hard?

A: Yes but I made a promise to my employees and stuff so I really do want to honor that

C: Do you need another incentive?

A: Depends on what you’re suggesting

C: How about a gift? Just for your effort of going to this event

A: And how am I supposed to get said gift?

C: I can mail it. Do you have a secure mailing address you would like me to send it to?

Robyn thought about her random PO Box that she uses when she doesn’t want to give out her work or home address.

A: PO Box 124, New York, NY 10003. Do I get to know what the gift is beforehand?

C: Nope. I’ll send it and make sure it arrives the morning of your gala. Think that’ll work?

A: I guess but I’m nervous about what it could be

C: You’ll see

A: And do you have a secure mailing address?

C: PO Box 762, Middletown, NY 10940

A: Upstate. Do you travel to the city every day or?

C: No, I have a condo near Columbia. I stay during the week then go home on the weekends. 

A: How many hours of a drive?

C: Actually like 2 hours. It gives me some peace from the loud city life and gives my daughter some balance.

A: What’s it like up there?

C: Very spacious. I live in a somewhat rural part of Middletown. I have a couple acres of land surrounding my house.

A: I can’t even imagine what that would look like. Even when I lived in California, I was in the busiest part.

C: I think I appreciate it because I’m older now. I definitely enjoyed living in the city when I was in Cali

A: It holds a beautiful sense of excitement

C: Do you live near your business or far away?

A: I have an apartment nearby but I might start looking for a house soon. Maybe renovate a brownstone

C: That’s always a good deal. Would you rent out?

A: Nah. I don’t have the energy to keep up with being a landlord. It’s a job within itself

C: Very true.

A: I’m guessing you should be going, is your daughter school age?

C: She goes to a headstart program at a private school since she’s only 3 but they keep her until around 5 in aftercare. I usually have a late class today but I canceled it

A: Oh. Is something wrong?

C: No, I’d just rather not be out and about this evening.

A: Ah. Well thanks for talking with me. I got an appointment coming in soon

C: Anything major?

A: Nope. Just a check up

C: Well if you have time, I’d love to talk to you again

A: Talk or chat?

C: Talk

A: My clinic closes at 7 so I should be home by 8

C; And dinner?

A: I’ll probably grab something on the way home

C: So how about a dinner date then? We’ll eat and keep each other company

A: I’d like that

C: Great. See you at 8

A: See you at 8

Robyn closed her app then rested her head on her desk. She was drained.

                                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what color is her dress? Jessica asked as she and Chris stood in the florist shop. 

“It’s navy blue.”

“I think this corsage would be perfect. It’s simple, elegant and can be pinned to the dress instead of being situated on her wrist.”

Chris walked over the piece his sister was referring to. It contained a navy blue rose, a white rose and some baby breaths, “I like that one.”

“Do they deliver to PO Boxes?”

“Yea, that’s why I picked this shop and it’s fairly close to the Post Office where her PO Box is.”

“Why didn’t you just get her work address?”

“The whole point is to be strangers. Giving me her work address would defeat that purpose. She’s an established vet, I could probably look up her work address and find her, which, again, defeats the point.”

“Do you know what she looks like?”

“Not really. Her photo was a full body shot so the closer you zoom in the blurrier it gets. Same as mine.”

“And that doesn’t worry you? What if she’s ugly?”

Chris laughed, “what does that matter? We don’t ever plan on meeting each other. 

Besides I’m not allowed to be nice to a possibly physically unattractive woman?

“You know that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just- I don’t understand this whole online dating thing”

“There’s nothing to understand because we’re not dating.”

“Yea. Right.”

“We are both in rebuilding stages of our lives and we like talking to each other. That’s all. If I was interested in more, I’d definitely would’ve insisted on meeting her or just moved on by now.”

“You told her about your nervous breakdown and suicide attempt. You haven’t even told your ex-wife that and you want me to believe you’re not dating.”

“Yes because we aren’t.”

“You’re buying her gifts?”

“I buy my friends gifts all the time.”

“You told her about Anesa.”

“And?”

“You talk almost everyday.”

“I’m not seeing your point.”

“My point is you’re dating this woman.”

“Jessica, big sister, I am not dating anyone. I like her, yes but that’s as far as it goes. I need a friend and she’s one for me. That’s it. That’s all.”

“You are so in denial, Chris.”

“I’ve accepted my situation, you’re the one with the conspiracy theories.”

“I’m just saying, I don’t want an ugly sister in law especially not after my last one. She was gorgeous and the point is to upgrade not backslide.”

“You get on my nerves, Jess.”

Jessica laughed, “is this all you’re getting for your friend?”

“Just because you said it like that, I am returning you home and finishing this adventure by myself.”

“Come on, don’t be like that Little Brother.”

“Then stop making this a bigger deal than what it is.”

   This was definitely a big deal. Robyn stared at the box of things Chris had delivered to her PO Box and her heart melted a bit. The flower corsage with navy and white roses was beautiful. She loved the card that came attached but what shook her was the books he had gifted. One night they had stayed up talking about literature and she mentioned that she loved poetry but never had the time to really build up a collection. Wrapped with a red bow were two compilations of black poets. The note under the bow stated, “I’d like to contribute the first books to your poetry collection. It’s always good to start with the essentials (smile).”

Robyn grabbed one of the books and sat down in a chair just as Leandra walked in with her hairstylist beside her.

“What’s all this?” Leandra asked.

“My friend sent me a gift.”

“Your online friend?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, he must really like you.”

“I like him too.”

“Did you send something back?”

“I just got this, this morning so I’m still thinking.”

“How’d he get your address?”

“He doesn't have it. I gave him my PO Box.”

“Oh your stalker box.”

“Don’t start, Lele.”

“So how you feel?”

“I’m ok. I still don’t wanna go.”

“Girl, I ain’t talking about this stupid ass gala. How do you feel about Chris?”

“What am I supposed to feel? I really love the gifts but that’s it”

“I’m looking at your face and it’s more than that.”

“He got me poetry books.”

“What? You found someone to indulge your weird ass literature taste.”

“Look, just because you only like sex books doesn’t make my taste weird. I am cultured.”

“I have a master’s degree too so save it. How’d he know to get that?”

“We had a conversation about books and I told him I always wanted to start a collection of poetry but never had the time nor knew where to start and I guess he remembered.”

“What made him send you a gift?”

“It was a little joke about how he could get me to not back out of the gala. I honestly wasn’t expecting him to go through with it but he did.”

“A man who keeps his word. He really likes you.”

“I know.”

“So...still never gonna meet him in person?”

“That was never part of the deal.”

Leandra groaned as she flopped down on the couch, “are you at least gonna get some from somebody at this gala?”

“Ewww….no. I’m staying at most an hour then coming back home.”

“Have you talked to Chris?”

“Not today.”

“Do you only chat on the app?”

“Yea.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“I thought you would’ve gotten his phone number by now.”

“Nah, that’s too personal. I wouldn’t give my number to someone I haven’t met yet.”

“So meet him.”

“No.”

“Ugh….you get on my nerves, Robyn.”

Robyn laughed, “what’s your plans for tonight?”

“Getting the baby from his father and going home.”

“How is my nephew?”

“He’s good.”

“And his father?”

“Still alive, unfortunately.”

“Don’t do Max like that.”

“He gets on my nerves.”

“How?”

“He keeps asking me if we’re getting back together.”

“Aww...Lele, he still loves you.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“And you still love him too. You always playing hard to get.”

“Ch….I am hard to get. Thank you very much.”

“Is that why y’all keep going on vacations together?”

“If a man wants to take me to Puerto Rico or Costa Rica free of charge, who am I to say no?”

Robyn laughed, “Lord, what are we gonna do with you?”

“Love me, duh.”

Leandra stayed until Robyn was ready to leave for the gala. As she climbed into the back of car, she grabbed her phone

A: Hey stranger

A few minutes passed before she received an answer.

C: Hey. How are you?

A: I’m great. On my way to the gala

C: Still decided against an escort?

A: Yea. Besides, I don’t plan on staying there long.

C: Ah ok

A: So….thank you for the gifts. The corsage is perfect for my dress

C: You’re very welcome. My sister helped me pick that out.

A: Tell her I said thank you

C: I will

A: So what are you up to?

C; Laundry and grading work

A: What’s the task this week?

C: Students had to craft an original piece of music modeled after a piece they enjoy so I’ve been listening to music tracks all day

A: How’s it sounding?

C: I’ve gotten a few good ones but what passes for music and what these students are modeling their pieces after is awful. 

A: That bad?

C: Some of these songs just can’t find a key and then when I listen to their reference tracks, I understand why. Music production has gotten so lazy over the years

A: You think so?

C: I’m gonna send you the best one I’ve heard and the worst one and tell me what you think

A: I’m getting homework now too, Professor

C: Lol. I just want you to hear what I’m dealing with

A: Send it. I’ll get back to you when I can

C: No rush. I’ll be home all weekend with this.

A: Cool. How’s the puppy search going?’

C: Good. We’ve narrowed it down to three puppies. I told her she has one week to pick one and then we’ll find a place to buy it.

A: As a shelter owner, please try and get a shelter dog. So many of them are good dogs that were in bad situations.

C: I will keep that in mind.

A: That’s all I ask

C: So what’s your plans after the gala?

A: Home.

C: Up for a video chat?’

A: Absolutely. I kinda miss your automated voice

C: Lol Same here

A: Anything else going on

C: Nope. I live a rather simple life.

A: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

C: To be honest, I’m not quite sure

A: Something giving you doubts

C: My daughter told me she feels sad for me

A: Aww...why?

C: Because I’m alone. It’s kinda hard to explain to a three year old the difference between alone and lonely

A: Lol true but then don’t explain with words, show her with actions. She probably thinks you don’t have a life and for children, they haven’t commanded the power and beauty of peace and stillness. They still have so much they haven’t explored

C: You have a point

A: Honestly, if you find things to do when she’s not around, she’ll probably feel a bit better about you

C: I’ll have to find me a new hobby then

A: What’s your current hobby?

C: I don’t really have one to be honest. My job involves music now so it’s not really a hobby anymore

A: It could be, it’s not like you make music for your class, do you?

C: Not recently

A; Do you sing, play instruments? What?

C: I have a decent voice but I play the piano, the guitar, and can do alright by the saxophone

A: What type of music do you prefer to play?

C: Nothing like an old school soul song. I love playing Sade records on the sax

A: I might have to compel you to play for me one day

C: I would offer to play tonight but my instruments are in storage

A: No rush. It’s just a thought

C: I’d love to play for you though

A: You making me feel inadequate

C: In what way?

A: The gifts. The music offers. Doesn’t feel like we’re on even footing

C: Well only you know what you have to offer. Find what works. I’m always open for gifts or moments

A: I’m gonna have to think of something. Thank you for the poetry books by the way. It’s a good start of a collection

C: The classics are always your best bet

A: I’m a little surprised you remembered

C: Why? 

A: It was such an odd conversation and it was late when we had it, surely you wouldn’t have remembered it

C: That’s a weird assumption. If there is one thing I’ve learned from being married, it’s learning to listen just as much as you like to talk. Reciprocity is the key.

A: Very true.

C: Are you at the gala yet?

A: Just pulled up

C: Well I hope you have a good night for however long you are there

A: I hope they do the award ceremony first so I can get my award and leave

C: If I gotta try and find a life, you need to live yours. You never know you may enjoy the time

A: We’ll see. Talk to you later

C: Later 

[angrycowboy]

Okay, time for coffee and rewatch!

I did a rewatch last night after watching it live and flailed at @haloud​, because this episode was everything I wanted for the premiere and getting the show back. It made me hurt and it made me happy and it made me excited for all the things to come.

After I’m done with this, it’s off to find a decent download and start giffing!

- I love the little Echo flashback. I mean, I think it’s interesting to include Max mentioning the Alighting and the whole “savior” thing. Though, I wonder if it’s going to come into play more than just the mentions in this episode that allowed Liz to connect the dots about Max. But I am heart eyes at this cute Echo moment.

- Liz’s “you smell like rain” comment is also interesting. I am just gonna sit here and think about Maria’s comment about Michael smelling like a river now and what is up with these aliens.

-Jeez, Liz and Rosa. Oh my god, Rosa. And Liz, with tears on her face, needing to switch into crisis mode. 

- Graffitti! Omg Rosa’s artwork. “We don’t believe in humans” Omg I love it.

-This is an Arturo Ortecho appreciation blog. He’s adorable being so proud of Liz. I just smile at this scene so hard. It’s perfect.

- “I reject good-bye” I love Maria DeLuca, y’all. 

- So in my happy place headcanon, Michael did just get some sort of flash about Max’s death, left the Pony, and basically has been avoiding Maria ever since. Simplest explanation and I can live with it. 

- BUT as always, my biggest gripe with the show, it’s been two weeks and no one has talked to one another. Though I kinda understand Liz avoiding everyone while she’s trying to deal with Rosa. 

-”Came to vent about Michael Guerin ghosting me” Yeah, I mean, I’m glad that the show established this right off the bat. Especially after this fucking hellatus this fandom decided to go through in regards to Miluca. I’m actually happy about this. But see ya’ll? Fucking overreaction central.

- “And now just one more Roswell good time before I hit the road.” The delivery on this, and the look on Liz’s face. Fuck, Jeanine just nailed every scene in this episode.

- Michael Guerin, Resident PigPen and Disaster Bi, stumbling int the church and shoving his way into a filled pew. Oh, Michael, you are a mess and I love you so much.

- Oh, Isobel. Also, I love the overacting in the beginning when Isobel is trying to talk about Noah vs how she changes when she starts speaking about Max instead. I love that use of Noah’s funeral to publicly mourn Max. It’s so good. 

- Fuck, this flashback to the cave. To Isobel seeing Max dead. OUCH.

- Oh my god, the staple of every funeral and wake - people bringing way too much food and it’s all the same fucking thing. ISOBEL GIRL, I FEEL YOU.

- “Mrs. Evans! That’s a phenomenal cape.” Listen y’all, have I mentioned how much I love this sad disaster alien cowboy? Cuz I do. A lot. He is a MESS.

- I really love this shot of Alex watching Michael at the wake. Just that little bit of concern - it’s so Alex and I love him so much. And I operate under the “if Alex knows, Kyle knows” and vice versa, which means that Alex isn’t watching Michael like this because he knows Michael is spiraling because of Caulfield and Max, he thinks Michael is only spiraling because of Caulfield. 

- Kyle being all practical and realistic about dealing with Jesse, and Alex is just like YOLO LET HIM DIE. Like I kinda love how Alex just kinda doesn’t want to deal with Jesse.

- “I’m not a murderer.” “No, you’re not. But he is.” Also, are we gonna talk about Alex’s little eyebrow raise and the look in his eyes, and how he’s still possibily talking about himself? Cuz, oh my god. I have feelings. Alex Manes, you stubborn bastard, I love you so much. (cc: @ober-affen-geil)

- “Seemed like a kiss at least worthy of a text back.” Oh Maria, my darling. You keep holding onto the hope you have for him, because girl, you are gonna need it with this massive spiral of his. 

- “Regulars shouldn’t drink alone when they’re grieving.” Oof. The fact that Maria thinks Michael is acting like this because of Noah is dead kinda yikes, and really just makes me desperately want her in on everything else that is going on, because it just makes it so obvious how little she knows. But I also like that line because he comforted her in 1x07, no questions asked, and in a way she’s doing the same back for him. She’s telling him she’s there if he needs someone.

- SHERIFF VALENTI WITH HER HAIR DOWN. I LOVE IT.

- Also her and Ann. “Graffiti is an early indicator of gang violence.” Ann Evans is the epitome of suburban white mom. I love Michelle Valenti just nodding along, like yeah, I’ll get right on that and not looking into this suspicious shit surrounding your son and your son-in-law.

- Lol @ this little public display of anger between Liz and Isobel.

- Oh shit, the fact that Liz hasn’t told Rosa about the cover-up is interesting, because that means that’s definitely coming. And oh my god, I cannot wait. 

- ALSO I CANNOT BELIEVE WE WERE ROBBED OF THIS HUG.

- “a glowing ooze filled egg coffin from outer space” Listen, if that’s not the most accurate outsider description of the pods ever. (Also creepy Noah scenes are creepy.)

- Liz talking about burying Max, y’all that shit HURTS. Like, obviously we know that isn’t gonna happen but the fact that Liz and Rosa are sitting talking about it as a finite ending in that moment is just... OUCH.

- “...where’s my hole t-shirt?” um... as of 1x04 it was in the backpack that Fredrico returned! What’cha doing with it, Liz?

- God, Liz and Rosa is just so perfect. “I never thought we’d get to have this stupid fight again.” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

- Isobel, darling. What are those pajamas. They’re wild.

- “I meant to call - I heard you and Evans broke up” So that does establish that Kyle was too preoccupied dealing with Jesse, and Liz has been singularly focused on Rosa that they haven’t talked in the two weeks. Cool cool cool.

- “Lemme guess? Alien thing?” Kyle is so tired of this shit.

- Omg Maria beating people at pool. I love it. I love her. More of that please! Also this outfit she wears is super cute. FIGHT ME.

- Mimi and more alien movie references!

- “It’s been ten years since [Rosa] died.” “Not always.” I love love love the roundabout ways Mimi is telling the truth about the things she knows. When you don’t have all the facts, of course it would sound like she’s not making sense, and of course it would appear to present as dementia. But what does she know that she’s even talking in this kinda code at all? And why? And what’s up with the wandering?

- This scene with Kyle and Rosa is fabulous. “Ten years and my half-brother is still pining for my sister. Cool cool cool.”

- Hahaha “What’s your drug of choice?” “Why quarterback, you wanna party?” I LOVE THIS ENTIRE SCENE SO MUCH IT’S HILARIOUS AND FANTASTIC.

- Upon rewatching, it’s much more obvious about the hows and whys of Kyle not knowing Max was dead. Because I missed all of that the first time around, and thought it came out of left field, but it really actually doesn’t.

- Rosa is clearly like, “when the hell did Kyle fucking Valenti get so smart?”

- this continued implication that Alex shows up at the Airstream and just basically invites himself in will never not completely fuck me up about them

- A FUCKING GUITAR LIKE HOW DARE THIS SHOW

- Okay first off, where the fuck is Alex? Is this his new house? Why does Michael know where to find him? Is this Jesse’s house and Alex is housesitting while he’s in a coma? It’s also the same place as this shot Carina posted over the summer that we all died over. Can’t wait to maybe get an definite answer to that (and also, what happened to the cabin). Just the fact that Michael knows exactly where to find Alex when all through S1 Alex always came to the Airstream is again, more shit about them that just fucks me up.

- Michael mentioning Alex had said he was getting out of the Air Force to make music... um, question. Where? When? I am going to handwave this because I can handle it may have gotten cut, and Alex did talk about fighting his own battles and not his fathers in 1x13. And I can see them having talked a bit about it during their junkyard talk in 1x10 too.

- “came back the next morning after clearer heads had prevailed - wanted to show you something.” Okay, Alex, honey, We need to talk about this. Michael just saw and felt his mother die, giving him a folder with that information, with that photo, is not how you should be going about this. I get it - Alex operates on having as much information as possible. If it exists, he wants it to make the informed decision. But that’s not Michael. And Alex pushes just a bit too hard, and Michael snaps. And I love this scene because Michael says things that needed to be said between them. Michael needed to say them, and Alex needed to hear them.

-ugh that photo... but if there’s prop consistency, then it’s interesting that it took a year after the crash for Michael’s mom to end up a prisoner at Caulfield. It really makes me excited for the flashbacks, because if she wasn’t caught in the initial melee after the crash, how did it happen?

- Alex’s little “hey” when MIchael pushes the folder back into him. Just. Fuck me up, okay? I’ll be here, in the middle of the floor, sobbing. It’s just, it makes it so obvious they’re no where near being on the same page. And Alex’s asking if he left, and if Michael would come with him - it really reads like a hail mary attempt on his part. Because he’s still thinking in that moment, that Michael will say yes, like Michael always says yes. Alex doesn’t really know what it’s like for Michael to say “no” to him.

- “I wanna be good for somebody.” (and with the fucking Malex theme playing over them what the fuuuuuuuck) 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- Hahaha Isobel using the good crystal to practice - THAT’S MY GIRL

- Handprint talk! Also lol @ Liz mentioning the handprint Max gave her in 1x13 during sexytimes and Kyle, not knowing what she’s talking about immediately just assuming she’s talking about the one from the pilot. Though it’s interesting that neither Liz nor Michael had residual physical handprints show up, but we know Liz was able to still feel Max die in 1x13

- “exorcising demons” Yoooo, I am here for this Isobel. She is determined, and she wants her life back and she is going to take it by force if necessary. Also, that’s a fantastic use for that good crystal.

- But it also breaks my heart a bit because she clearly is in this huge denial about Max. She really believes that she can bring him back if she tries hard enough, if she focuses and learns. And the way Michael is just... so resigned to this whole thing. His hope is just... gone.

- “Max’s heart was weakened before he decided to lasso lightning” Michael really does get some great lines. But omg he’s so angry, and he’s so determined to get Isobel to see reason.

- Ahhh Liz and Rosa. Also, Liz in the bathroom. Breaking down because she’s got that moment to herself to finally break. That scene in the shower. It always just fucks me up. It’s fucked me up since the first time I saw it at NYCC, and it still fucks me up now.

- These nightmares are creepy as fuck. 

- ‘Don’t treat me like the little sister.” OH SNAP, LIZ ORTECHO.

- I adore messy flirty disaster Michael. And smiling through a punch? Oh, Michael.

- The way Liz’s mind works, just bouncing and making those connections and conclusions and realizing how there might still be hope for Max. Woo boy, I need to take some time to process that (and don’t get me started on Michael’s loss of hope).

- “So she wants to use Noah’s heart? He’s the actual devil.” TOO RIGHT YOU ARE, ALEX.

- Also, this is @el-gilliath‘s fault but Alex brings up that when cremated, the aliens give off toxic fumes - so what does that mean for Caulfield? All those aliens would have been burned alive someone somewhere would have noticed then, right?

 - Alex is so soft looking in this scene. 

- Which is hilarious cuz the next scene is him throwing the morgue doctor agains the wall.

- “I thought he was you.” Oh boy. Let’s not even begin to unpack that.

- Aaaaah this scene. Okay first off, fuck Flint. I hate him. “There’s a chain of command in this family.” Oooooh boy, so we’re gonna see that this season, right? Cuz I am so curious about the other two brothers and their involvement as well.

- “there’s a sealed incinerator at area 51, can’t exactly storm the place” I’VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, ALEX. But it’s nice to see confirmation that Liz knows that Alex knows about everything too. Woo hoo, communication!

- “Flint was the Manes in my grade. He was always such a dick.” YESSSSSSSS.

- Michael’s speech about hope. Shit. He is just. “Hope screws people up. Hoping that your family will come and save you from the system. Hoping that anyone can be saved at all.” And poor Maria, she doesn’t know anything. Did she know about how Michael grew up? Because even Alex only knew he was living out of his truck as a rumor, and didn’t know the full extent until the junkyard talk in 1x10. So maybe Michael did have that hope for a moment in 1x13, that he went to the Pony thinking things could be different. But then Max died, and it reminded him that hoping just means more of the same shit.

- Also, Maria. Honey. Taking Michael’s keys doesn’t really mean anything. He’s a mechanic and a telekinetic alien.

- “Need help moving a body.” “If I had a dollar for every time I heard that.” LOL!

- No Kyle, your life is never going to be normal again. Nope.

- “The last thing Isobel needs is to get her hopes up.” Lots and lots of talk of hope this episode.

- “I always thought it was synthetic but if it’s organic” YOU MEAN LIKE HOW LIZ HYPOTHESIZED IN 1x08? Cool cool cool. I also love how their brains work, speaking of that callback. Liz is a biomedical engineer, this is her jam. Michael seems to lean more towards mechanical engineering, especially in 1x08 how he talked about the pods being “tech” and having a seam. But I am super curious about this idea that the alien organs can be fixed in a way, essentially being in line with Liz’s chosen field of study and her career path.

- It’s so cute how Michael gets a bit squeamish before he’s just totally in awe, like he’s probably never really gotten the chance to actually know anything about his own biology, and how it differs from humans - especially not before working with Liz in S1 to develop the serum antidote.

- Liz and Rosa, omg I love them so much. This conflict Liz is dealing with, she’s so happy to have Rosa back, but she’s so angry and so mad and so upset over losing Max at the same time. i LOVE LIZ ORTECHO.

- “I’m gonna fix it” GODDAMNIT Y’ALL LIZ ORTECHO. JUST... LIZ FUCKING ORTECHO.

- I am so looking forward to figuring out what’s up with Mimi and this wandering and why she had Rosa’s bracelet from the roadside memorial.

- Poor Isobel. This is gonna be an interesting story arc to see play out. Knowing what Carina said about it, I am much more interested in letting it play out before making any decisions on it. I’m not crazy about a pregnancy story line, but who knows what Carina has in store with it.

- Zombie!Max I think it’s interesting he says, “you’re the only one I can reach” and how that ties in with Liz’s earlier remarks about the handprints. Why was Rosa the only one to get a handprint? Is it because she was the most recent one Max healed? In the pilot, Max did say, “the mark could show up” so he knew there was a possibility it wouldn’t. But what does that mean? There’s definitely something more there, and I am excited to find out.

[dontgotothenetherworld]

love alarm au (nick x reader)

ok so i was watching this kdrama on netflix called love alarm (i think it was based off a webtoon? i could be wrong ahaha i don’t research anything) and i really liked the idea of it so i wanted to write a jlp fic about it lol.

basically, there’s this app called love alarm. if someone within a 10 m radius (i think that’s how big it was… oh well) has romantic feelings for you, and they also have the app, they’ll “ring” you. and vice versa, obviously. i’m changing one key rule; the ringing will only work if both parties have the app opened.

2271 words

cw: femreader. nbjo.

everyone was buzzing about a new app. something called love alarm? you were confused by the whole thing.

”hey! jo!” you yelled to your friend. “do you know what everyone’s talking about?”

”yeah!” jo held up their phone, they were downloading the app. “it tells you if anyone around you has feelings for you! and it tells other people when you have feelings for them. but like, it doesn’t say any names, which is kinda weird, but that’s part of the fun, i guess.”

you gulped. “uh do you know if you can change the settings to not notify other people.”

jo opened the app. “it’s called ringing, apparently, and no.” they glanced over the settings, only finding an option for the volume of ringing.

you looked at their screen. “aww no one likes you.” their phone had a big zero in the middle of the display. “wait no. romantically, no one in a, uh 10 meter radius? that’s specific, whatever, has romantic feelings for you. i obviously like, you, platonically, i mean, i’m your friend! i’m rambling, so i’m gonna stop now.”

jo laughed, but seemed disappointed with their number. “you should download it.”

”uh maybe.” you noticed your other friend walking over, eyes glued to her phone. “frankie!” 

frankie’s eyes glance up to see you, then they darted around the crowded hallway.

”hey! jo, y/n, look at this!” she held up her phone, open to love alarm.

”someone here likes you!” you yelled excitedly. “ohmygod i wonder who it is!”

jo looked down at their phone, still at zero.

”i have no idea…” frankie said, but in a way that made it sound like she knew exactly who it was.

the number suddenly jumped up to two, and she looked around again.

”do you have it downloaded yet?” frankie asked.

”i’m not sure if i want to…” 

”it’ll be fun, c’mon!” frankie urged.

”well… okay.” you opened up the app store, and started downloading. on the shitty school wifi, it was bound to take forever.

frankie’s brother, nick walked up to her.

”don’t tell me someone has rang yours yet.” frankie groaned.

”no, not yet.” he said, sadly.

”welcome to the club.” said jo. nick and jo high fived.

”look, don’t let this distract from school. you’ve still got classes to go to!” he lectured the three of you.

”okay, mom.” frankie rolled her eyes.

you glanced down at your phone. 50% downloaded, and 2 minutes ‘til first period. “shit! thanks for mentioning it, nick! i gotta go!” you started running to the opposite side of the school. “love y’all, bye!”

you got to your first period, out of breath, just in time to not be counted tardy. your teacher was really liberal with handing out tardies, even a second after the bell rang… good luck.

you checked your phone again, sliding into your seat. 87% downloaded. and a text from frankie! it was a screenshot of her love alarm, still at two, and a message saying “damn i thought u loved me :’(“

you sent back a cowboy emoji.

”phones up, class! it’s pop quiz time!” exclaimed the dictator, i mean your teacher.

a few periods later was lunch. you and frankie had the same lunch period. you were bummed that jo had an earlier lunch, but they were hanging out with nick, and his friend bella, so they were fine.

”show me your phone!” frankie yelled.

you placed it, face up, on the table. “chill out, woman. no one’s rung it yet, anyway.” you had been obsessively checking since second period. nothing. “any updates on the two from earlier?”

”well, when i went to fourth period, it finally went back down to zero, but then back up to one, so would that be three? or is one of them just, like circling around me?” frankie handed you her phone, currently at zero.

”wait, when did the first go to one?” 

”when i went to first period.” frankie said nonchalantly.

”how the fuck are you not freaking out right now? i would be hounding these two, potentially three, people down!”

”well, if they really want me to know, they would tell me. until then, i will enjoy the ego boost that the ringing has given me.”

”that’s so responsible. i’m suspicious.” you said.

”i know! i am responsible! also, i’ve only been opening the app in crowded places.”

”are you okay? this doesn’t sound like the frankie i know.”

you were going to question your friend more, but your love alarm suddenly went off.

1 person within 10 m has feelings for you.

you whipped your head around, frantically. “who could it be?”

”y/n, it’s back down to zero.” frankie updated.

”so, like, they just walked in and out of the circle, right?” you cursed the crowded lunchroom, that you were in the center of.

”probably.” frankie took a sip of water. “oh! did you hear about jamie and alyssa?”

”no, what happened?”

”alyssa wanted jamie to ring her love alarm, but he couldn’t! and then he rang violet’s!”

”what? how do they know?” 

”alyssa made jamie walk in and out of violet’s circle, and it rang every time he stepped into it.”

”they broke up, right?” you asked.

”obviously. but violet doesn’t have feelings for jamie, so they’re not together either.”

”this app is going to ruin so many lives.” you muttered.

”well, it was bound to happen eventually.” frankie shrugged.

you met up with frankie and jo, just after school ended. well, more like they met up with you. you had gone right up the bell with your test, and when you got out of the class, your friends were standing right there. both on their phones, open to love alarm.

jo stared distastefully at the zero, and frankie stared apathetically at the one.

you opened the app, but before it could load, nick ran over, startling you.

”frankie, look.” he held out his phone. it had a one on it.

”i’m kicking you out of the club.” jo said darkly.

”any ideas who it is?” asked frankie.

you slipped your phone into your back pocket, without looking at love alarm. you knew exactly who rang nick’s love alarm. you just didn’t want to know if he rang yours back.

your crush on nick had started back in freshman year, when you started hanging out with frankie. you would occasionally hang out at her house, and sometimes nick was around. and you just found nick so unbelievably attractive. 

you couldn’t believe it when, in your sophmore year, you and nick had the same seventh period. he sat behind you in class, and was always making jokes. he even offered to drive you home from school. granted, frankie was also in the car, but it still seemed kinda romantic to you.

and you had fallen in love with him along the way. 

but this year, you had no classes together. and yeah, you sent memes to each other pretty frequently, but you didn’t talk, really. you still had feelings for him, but you thought that if there was any chance that he did too, it had gone away.

you didn’t want to be disappointed, so you didn’t check your love alarm.

”y/n, has anyone rung yours yet?” asked nick. but maybe not��

”uh, no. i mean, yeah. briefly at lunch, but i might not be remembering that correctly.”

”can we stop talking about this shit? it’s fucking stupid. and who’s to say it’s in any way accurate?” jo spat.

”it’s alright, jo. not everyone has downloaded the app yet.” you tried to comfort them.

they walked off.

”well…” said frankie.

”uh, they drove me to school today, so can either of you…” you addressed the siblings.

”yeah, i got it.” said nick.

frankie laughed, “why do you want to drive my friend home?”

”she’s my friend too. jeez frankie stop being so weird.” he scoffed.

”eh whatever. y/n always complains about the mess in my car anyway.” said frankie.

”just pick the stuff off the floor and put it in a trash can! you can even put a trash bag in the car! it’s not that hard, frankie!” you exclaimed.

”case and point.” she started walking to the library. “i’ll see you back at home, nick.”

”see ya.” he said. you waved at her. you and nick began walking. “so, y/n, my friend, how has life been treating you lately?”

”like a sucker punch to the gut, my friend. i have had a test, quiz, or pop quiz in every single class to day, apart from lunch, where i got clickbaited that someone likes me.”

”ouch!” hey held open the door for you. “did you just use “clickbaited” in an irl circumstance?”

”eh technicalities.” you laughed.

nick shook his head. “anyway, do you know how you did on any of the tests/ quizzes/ pop quizzes/ forms of torture?”

”ugh no. but the suspense is killing me.”

”speaking of suspense, do you have any idea who, briefly, rang your love alarm?” nick asked, as he opened the driver’s side door.

you hopped into the passenger’s seat. “nada. you?” 

nick started the engine. “i have an idea.” you felt your heart just flatten itself against your chest. what does that mean??

”care to share?” you tried to say nonchalantly, but it probably came across very chalantly. which nick would remind you, is not a real word.

”no. i’d like to be more sure of my guess first.”

”see, when you say logical and responsible things about love alarm, it makes sense. when frankie does, i worry for the emotional safety of the two, potentially three people who rang her alarm today.”

nick laughed, “that makes sense. do you know who rang hers?”

”why, so you can beat them up? that’s what big brothers are supposed to do, right?”

”no, big brothers are supposed to be an omnipresent watchful eye.” it took you a second to get the reference, but you laughed when you did. “but really, no. more like i want to warn them.”

”i have a hunch on who one of them is, but i will follow in your infinite wisdom and not say until i’m more sure.”

”i wouldn’t call my wisdom infinite...” said nick.

you were tempted to open love alarm, but that would be stupid. nick’s phone wasn’t even on right now.

you fell into an awkward silence, and you didn’t know how to break it.

”so, uh. y/n, i’m sorry that i kinda stopped talking to you.” nick said, a couple stop signs later.

”i am also bad at maintaining friendships, so don’t worry.” why the fuck did you say friendships.

”yeah… uh i want to talk to you more. not just send each other tik toks, y’know?”

”tik toks are an excellent form of communication, i have no idea what you’re talking about. but yes.”

”okay, that’s good. by the way, when you’re scrolling on that app, do you just send me every video that says to send to your friends?”

you laughed, “no. sometimes i send you the ones that say send to your enemies. and i send you other stuff!”

”i know, i know! but like, do you send them to like frankie and jo and stuff?”

”um… sometimes? i definitely send the ones that call you ugly to frankie, and i usually send the super mega wholesome ones to jo, but neither of them ever send tik toks back, so i don’t think they really appreciate them.” nick always sends tik toks back. you’ve usually already seen them, but it’s the thought that counts.

nick turned into your neighborhood. “do you think the love alarm actually works?”

”what do you mean?” you asked.

”what if it’s just random. like the different accounts are randomly paired to go off when they’re near each other.”

you thought it over. “i don’t know. that could be the case, but there’s really only one way to find out for sure.” your heart was nearly beating out of your chest.

”do you mean… trying to ring someone’s that you like?” nick asked, slowing to a stop in front of your house.

you shrugged, “i guess.”

nick sat in silence, looking straight ahead, probably thinking deeply about something.

you picked up your backpack, and started getting out of his car.

”wait, y/n!” nick scrambled to dig his phone out of his pocket.

you turned around to face him. “uh what?”

he took a deep breath, “can you open love alarm?” he had his phone already opened to the app.

not knowing what else to do, you obliged. every second that it took for the app to load felt like a thousand hours.

1 person within 10 m has feelings for you.

”i ran through the cafeteria earlier, by the way.” said nick.

you looked up, to see nick. he held his phone facing you. it said the same thing. you pinched yourself, to make sure you weren’t dreaming. you weren’t.

”wh- wait really?” you were dumbfounded. 

nick smiled. “the app works. it really works.” he gazed into your eyes, hopefully not noticing your mouth, which was still hanging wide open.

you felt frozen on the spot, and this was probably getting awkward. but nick! smart, kind, beautiful nick! he liked you. he really did.

he hopped out of his car and ran around to stand in front of you. he placed his hands in yours, still smiling.

”can i kiss you?” you asked.

”yes.” he said. and you did. you kissed the boy who you liked, and who liked you.

@meangirlsx @meangirlmurphy @eliza-is-confused @boredomimi

[culebratia]

Honest opinions on horror villains

Okay so I love horror villains and horror in general. Most of them are really interesting and have a sort of grotesque charm to them that I can’t really describe, it draws you to them and pulls you into wanting more. But there are some horror villains that are either overrated and underrated, and today I’m here to discuss some of them! (I’d like to reiterate that I don’t hate any of these characters, I actually like them all! But I’m just talking in a general perspective and my view on their popularity and the actual movie they come from.)

LESLIE VERNON

* overrated.

* okay, I know, people are going to get upset at me over this. This was an amazing movie, they said. It’s so new and different from the others, they said. And I completely understand that! It’s unique and inventive and I love the whole premise of the movie, but goddamn did it bore me..

* I like Leslie Vernon as a character, but I don’t love him like I do with other characters. He’s cool! I adore his slasher design, but his personality bores me a little bit at times. There are some points where my emotions and feelings on the guy are a little bit like a rollercoaster — up and down, up and down, up and down. It’s crazy.

* once again, I like the concept of his movie, but the way it was presented in a filmmaking point of view is underwhelming.

ART THE CLOWN

* underrated.

* there are three movies I know of with Art in them: The 9th Circle, All Hallow’s Eve and Terrifer. And all of them are equally shit, which is to be expected since it was written and directed by a young guy who specialises in special effects. But damn was Art interesting to watch.

* there are some points in the movies where I think “why couldn’t he have starred in a better made film?” because if that were so, he’d get so much more publicity! Art is an absolutely terrifying demon clown creature, way more scary than Pennywise, and people from around the world should know his name! He’s the only character in all the movies who actually has good actors.

* shitty movie, fantastic character. I hope to see more of him.

MICHAEL MYERS

* overrated by a milestone.

* look, I’m all for Michael Myers. He’s hot, lemme tell you that. But he’s a really boring character. It’s all the same (apart from the 3rd movie)! Michael returns to his hometown to find and kill Laurie, killing a whole other group of people who she happens to be involved with at some time during the movie.

* when I watch a horror movie, I want to have the villain to have some sort of character. At least with Jason, you can see some emotion in him which defines him as a whole! But with Michael? He’s a clean slate, and that is soo uninteresting.

* first two movies were great, others were unneeded honestly.

BILLY LENZ

* underrateeeeed.

* stinky attic boy needs some love. He is what started the slasher genre for peats sake and yet everyone overlooks him as a horror villain. Let me tell you, that phone scene in the beginning was absolutely fucking terrifying when I first watched it, and it’s still unsettling to this day even after I’ve watched it a million fucking times.

* we never even got to see Billy’s face properly throughout the whole movie and yet he made such an impact on everyone who ever watched Black Christmas! And that ending scene? Perfect cliffhanger. (The remake was shit compared to the original)

* great movie, great character, needs more credit.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

* overrated.

* bet y’all are shocked at this aren’t you? He’s the character I most often write for. But that’s really because he’s heavily requested. I actually don’t really like him all that much, too much exposure I guess. I mean I have nothing against his character as a whole, he’s attractive to me and interesting but I don’t actually know.

* now the movie is something I do know about though: bullshit. Absolutely terrible. A basic plot line (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing sometimes, it just needs to be played out right) and a director which results to cheap jump scares because apparently that’s ‘scary’. The movie as a whole is so predictable and it never scared me once when I went to watch it at the cinema. I can understand why people like it though.

* decent(?) character, bad movie.

OTIS DRIFTWOOD + family

* underrated.

* okay this might have something to do with my weakness for Bill Moseley, scarily cute women and clowns, but man do I love the Firefly family. Each and every character, even the ones we barely see, within the family is so perfectly polished and unique, and I love Rob Zombie for it. He can’t write dialogue for shit but man do I love his horror villains.

* although the first movie was very confusing at some points. Like, what?? What was with that ending? It was a very good movie in my opinion and was actually pretty horrifying. It used things that disgust us and manipulated that to terrify every single one of its viewers and that’s perfect. Hated the protagonists though.

* fantastic movie, great villains, shitty protagonists,

FREDDY KRUEGER

* overrated.

* now don’t get me wrong, I love Freddy, I grew up loving Freddy. He’s witty and fun to watch, maybe not like Chucky, but after a while he gets so repetitive that it gets really really annoying. Couldn’t they think of something unique and interesting for him to say instead of him just calling everyone a bitch??

* the writing becomes boring after a while, the directors add so many unnecessary features, weaknesses and powers we had no clue even existed up until this very point, and it’s overall not a very good franchise when you get into it. I enjoyed the first and seventh movie a lot, but all of the other ones didn’t really excite me all that much.

* okay character, okay movie, but isn’t worth all the attention.

NUBBINS SAWYER, DRAYTON SAWYER, CHOP-TOP SAWYER + GRANDPA SAWYER

* un👏🏽der👏🏽ra👏🏽ted

* these boys deserve just the same amount of attention that Leatherface does. I know that Bubba is a really cool character, and he deserves attention too! But that doesn’t mean that his family get to be left out. Each and every single one of them helped shape the Texas Chainsaw franchise to what it is today, and honestly it wouldn’t have been as amazing without them in it.

* Texas Chainsaw has so many metaphors within it nobody really goes into. When we first meet Nubbins and he’s kicked out of the van, Franklin very obviously points out “would you be able to do that?” referring to Nubbins slicing his hand up, and later on we see Franklin blowing raspberries at his friends due to the fact that he couldn’t go upstairs because of his disability, which is exactly what Nubbins was doing when he couldn’t get into the van. This area is the director exploring the ways that people could so easily turn into madness without people realising it.

* Drayton Sawyer is your average looking fellow who runs the Sawyer household, but he is not average at all. He’s sadistic, witty, hypocritical, and surprisingly still a Christian. He claims that he “doesn’t like to do the killing” and yet he’s shown constantly poking and prodding at the final girls like they’re some caged animals, living only for the pleasure of himself. The fact that he’s an elderly man basically screams “wolf in sheeps clothing”, because usually when you see an elderly person, you assume them to be kind and wise, whereas, Drayton can’t even spell ‘sex’ correctly.

* Chop-Top wasn’t present in the first movie sadly, but it’s explained why, which is understandable in a filmmaking perspective. He is probably the most terrifying character out of the bunch. He’s impulsive, disgusting, and absolutely fucking insane. Whether or not this is due to his time in Vietnam I don’t know, but man does it make a great affect. And that time in the movie where he was introduced? It was absolutely heavenly. No one in today’s horror industry would build up suspense like that and cause so much raw fear from a petty jump scare. The fact that he carries around his damn brothers corpse like he’s puppet, treating him like he’s still a living being adds onto the scare factor as well.

* great villains, good movies, everything after TCSM2 wasn’t really very good though.

Okay, now that’s over and done with! Let me show you my top ten favourite horror villains (from actual horror movies), you’ll either be completely shocked or completely not! :)

Pinhead — love the creature design. Fantastic personality and concept. Annoyed he’s not a woman.

Bubba Sawyer — baby boy needs love. And affection. And kisses. And basically anything positive. We must protect him.

Chop-Top Sawyer — terrified me when I first saw him as a kid. I wanna fuck Bill Moseley. I love his personality. Wish his movie came out.

Captain Spaulding — funny ass motherfucker. Always cracks me up. I want him to be my daddy.

Hannibal Lecter — interesting in a psychological perspective. Has a way to make your skin crawl without doing much.

Art the Clown — scarier than Pennywise. I wish his movies were better. Why didn’t Terrifier make it obvious he was a demon?

Otis Driftwood — boy’s a hottie. But please stop fucking corpses. Once again, Bill Moseley.

Stu Macher — first fictional crush. He’s my irl type of guy. I dated a guy like him once.

Jennifer Check — movie was ahead of its time. Legit was about having a succubus gf. Lesbian scene was hot. I’m gay for Meagan Fox.

Billy Lenz — terrifying phone calls. Nasty boi. The remakes will never be as great as the OG Black Christmas.

Anyways, so that’s it! It’s past midnight currently so I might just go to bed lol but whatever. I’ve wanted to write this out for a whiiile but decided to just get it over with now. I’ll say it all again: every character I write for, I like, I just have different levels of like, so please no hate over this. Thanks!

[vuulpecula]

anonymous inquired: are you and rex a thing? i can't tell

👀 first and foremost i would like to say thank you for sending this in! i’m working under the assumption that you have read the threads i have with @jaigcaptain​ going at the moment, which tbh is blowing my mind lol so thank you for being a fan??? or i guess, a reader is a more accurate term! i know we’re having a blast getting to delve into some really fun situations, so it’s cool knowing that someone else is along for the journey as well! now on to the answer →

👀 👀 👀 *cracks knuckles* alright, due to the ambiguity and nature of this question, i will be answering ooc for a couple of different reasons. one of those reasons is due to the broad connotations of ‘a thing’. when reading this it is my assumption that ‘a thing’ is in reference to some sort of ship ( if i have gotten the meaning wrong, please do not hesitate to let me know! ). if we’re looking at what i will loosely describe as ‘historic pop culture’ typically someone asks “are you guys a thing” when wanting to know of a romantic relationship, just to explain my own thinking behind the subject. anyway, the short, simple, factual answer is no. at least in romantic terms, it isn’t something that JC and i have discussed thus far & i definitely do not want to jump the gun. is it a possibility? at this point, i think anything probably is, heck we have a completely nuts 7′ man terrorizing them, so what isn’t possible, you know what i’m saying? but no promises. HOWEVER, i can understand completely where this thought & lack of being able to tell for certain comes from and if i may elaborate further on the reasons behind it, maybe it might help? at least from the fox side of things!

1. they share rather iconic banter. it’s stimulating, it’s asking the tough questions and actually listening and actively thinking about the answers. it’s pushing each other, sometimes in a negative way, sometimes in a positive way, but it’s pushing. now, i hear what you’re saying: “but starbuck! that is the perfect setup for some angsty moments! there’s obviously chemistry!” yeah it is and there is, but do those moments need to be romantic? not necessarily. at the moment, how i interpret it is that there is an undercurrent of tension, tension that stems from whether or not to trust one another. we’re down to the bare bones of a foundation here! how can there be ~romance~ when they a) hardly know one another & b) are still unsure whether or not trust was the right choice to make. can it be the start of something? sure, but it could be the start of anything!

2. fox is a very, very empathetic being. her heart is soft, it loves too easily, it cares too deeply, there is no way to stop it ( i have tried lmao ). in a sense, she’s half in love with everyone and everything, might those emotions/thoughts be read more romantic than meant? absolutely! when she and rex first meet she already has preconceived ideas about him from things she has heard about the clone army, he is, in every sense, a potential enemy. but it’s his actions that convince her otherwise. by the time they interact with abal, in a way, she does love him as she likely loves the rest of his brothers. not necessarily in a romantic way, but in a way that says ‘your life is valuable to me, your life matters, i care about what happens to you & i will feel so guilty/angry if anything does‘. abal uses it against her because he KNOWS she will always care for others lives far more than she does her own. he knows, even if he is disgusted by it, that she will put a clone’s life ahead of her own -- despite their numbers, despite him being a clone, because to her, he is a person. a living, breathing entity with his own life in his lungs and the world would be less without him in it. ( do i have hella feelings about clones? yes, yes i do RIP my boys ). essentially, there is emotion there on fox’s side already. is it romantic, is it reciprocated, only time will tell! tune in next week for an all new episode! lmao jk i just really wanted to pretend to be a tv host. anyway, i think for her it is very possible to move from that ‘i care about you in this way’ to ‘i care about you in that way’, her heart is simply tender in that way, but for the moment, things are as they are and i’m enjoying it so much!

3. they’re at war. emotions and tensions are high. they might not live past tomorrow ( well, fox might not, we know rex does thank goodness! ). its very important to remember setting here! things may be said or done in desperation due to the feeling of time running out and they can be very easy to misinterpret! heck, even fox & rex may misinterpret them! we’re letting our muses flow through us during this trying time in their lives ( & probably torturing them more than we should, but heck i’m not sorry lmaoooo )

4. 👀 theoretically 👀 the playlists, the aesthetic posts, the complete next level trash that could come out of it would be CHAOTIC. i mean, i can p much promise they’ll already be chaotic, but y’all know what i mean. more chaotic.

i think that is....about it in regards to the threads and i know you didn’t ask for a book, i just have a lot of feelings about fox’s mentality and the extra SW planet JC and I have created! i hope that answered your question or at least clarified the things that might be picked up through reading! again, it isn’t really something we’ve discussed at present & I’m sure JC could add even more if you have more questions/ask! right now we’re just steeped in excitement and smiling devil emojis about this whole situation <3

also, just a pro-tip, a lot of people have their thoughts on shipping/clarifications in their rules! i’ll go ahead and link JC’s HERE and my own HERE. tbh that might clarify things further ;), especially JC’s! 

anyway, thank you for sending this in!! i’m still so amazed we have a reader!!

[makeste]

some asks about BnHA 241 and 240 and then some random other asks

I agree with this completely, anon (especially given his attitude throughout the rest of the chapter), but I didn’t edit my initial response since I think there’s a good likelihood that he still deadpanned the line despite being 100% sincere. one could say he was Accidentally Sarcastic. anyways yeah, Todoroki Shouto is a disaster more at 11. 

(but also, he’s totally right and Bakugou is in full-blown denial over their blossoming friendship. because he already decided that they’re Not Friends, and thus he has to actively work to maintain that status now. which Todoroki is making very difficult these days! can you fucking do your part to keep the fucking rivalry going, Icy-Hot?? can you at least try?? why does he have to do all the work. sometimes he forgets for a moment and Todo catches him off guard and he responds normally without thinking and doesn’t realize it until later, and god. why is everything and everyone so stupid.)

I have not forgotten (though I did mix up Pixie-Bob with Mandalay though woop)! and that annoyed me too. we only have like six female pros out there as it is. why do half of them (looking at you too, Midnight) have to be mildly sex-crazed. I know it’s not serious and they’re not actually being serious, but still, is it really asking so much to get some female pros whose eccentricities are less specifically tailored to common male fantasies. you’re a fucking hero Pixie-Bob! you’re a fucking earthbender and you’re hot as heck. why are you so worried about not being able to Get A Man. with Mt. Lady it at least fits more with her general personality from what we’ve seen, I guess. anyways, y’all know I love like 98% of this series, but this is part of the 2%, so. it is what it is.

Tomura is Endgame Thanos, a.k.a. the most sinister and most genuinely frightening of the Thanoses. this really isn’t on track to end well sob.

ah, my bad. (regardless, it was still dramatic af.)

I think she’s a six-year-old (?? she seems six-ish, idk) girl who was terrified of her father and trying to stay under his radar (which was frankly the smart thing to do based on what we’ve seen), and was trying to teach her younger brother how to do the same, and I don’t blame her at all for throwing Tenko under the bus (if that’s indeed what happened); I’m sure she just panicked and didn’t mean it. she’s just a kid. -- was just a kid. anyways she was super cute and would have made a fucking awesome hero, and her death is easily the one I’m still the most raw about out of that whole fucking nightmare. I’m not getting over that. I want her to still be alive; at one point I was convinced of a conspiracy theory that AFO had secretly spared her too (because two Shimura heirs to manipulate are better than one), and Tomura only believed that she was dead due to his fragmented memories. but that seems less likely post-chapter 236.

so yeah, I’m still very upset about this. she was good and kind and loved her brother and had a lot of spirit and she did not even remotely deserve what happened to her.

thank you so much!! one of the best parts of fandom is interacting with other people and reading everyone’s different takes and theories. lord knows I miss a lot of stuff when I read, even when I’m trying very hard to pay attention. so I love when other people point stuff out and bring up ideas I hadn’t thought about.

also! without exception, every single person I’ve ever interacted with in this fandom on tumblr has been polite and courteous and civil as fuck, even on the occasions when we disagree, and I absolutely can’t take credit for that. people are just cool. so thank you everyone. (and particular shoutout to @thequietmanno1, who for some reason I can’t tag, but whom this ask is almost certainly referring to specifically.)

lmao anon this made my fucking day. thank you!!

all right, here goes!

a) this is possible for sure in that as a rule, I never put anything past AFO, and I don’t doubt for a second he’d be capable of this. but, it would kind of suck though. specifically it would suck for Tomura, who’s only just starting to come into his own at long last, and who has gone through quite a lot to get to this point. like, that would be devastating to see him reduced to a literal puppet after all of that. and if it did happen, I don’t know what the odds would be of him actually being “saved” after that (All Might at least would try, but I can’t see anyone else being concerned enough to bother. well except for the rest of the League, come to think of it. that could be interesting), and I’d be really sad if that ended up being how he went out. these things usually don’t end up working out too well for the body snatchee.

plus, this also hinges on whether or not AFO is capable of transferring his quirk to Tomura’s body. if not, there’s no way he’d take the tradeoff, regardless of how powerful Tomura’s own quirk has become at this point. that would just be a really bad deal. like trading the cow for beans, except these ones aren’t even magic beans, just like. normal beans. but if he does have a way of transferring the AFO quirk, then yeah. although he could take anyone’s body then if that was the case, and I can think of a few targets who just might be even more tempting than his protege. All Might’s protege, for one. ...you know what, this line of thinking is starting to get a little too horrifying so let’s move on to the other theory lol.

(b) a few people have mentioned the Shimura Momo theory to me, but to be totally honest, I can’t see much of a logical basis for it other than them bearing a slight resemblance and having similar hairstyles. Inko has also been brought up as potentially being related to Nana for the same reasons. it’d be cool, no doubt, but for me, I need more evidence than just that. I just don’t see how this would advance the plot or the characters’ storylines in any meaningful way. I guess it could potentially tie Momo in more to the central plot, but it’d be kind of a weird way to do it, idk.

then again I’m one to talk, because until fairly recently I was on board with Hagakure of all people turning out to be a Shimura (Hana, to be specific). she’s the traitor, she’s invisible, we never did find out what Hana’s quirk was, and this would mean that Hana was still alive this whole time which would be GREAT, because seriously fuck you Horikoshi!! but yeah that doesn’t seem likely now either. dammit.

anyway, so I’ll just say that both of these theories are possible, but for me personally, in order to be sold on a specific theory I need to be able to see how it logically fits within the storyline and how it moves the story forward. like, Dabi being Todoroki Touya is something I’m 100% on board with, because that’s an established mystery in the series (who is Touya, what happened to him, who is Dabi, etc.), and Dabi fits into place with the evidence we have, and it gives us a lot of Todoroki drama and gives Endeavor and Shouto a personal connection to the Leagu... Pliff. but for something like the Momo theory, I would need there to be some indication that there’s a third sibling we don’t know about, and some hinting about there being more to Momo’s past than we know, and right now I don’t see either of those things, so it’s hard to get on board. hopefully that makes sense.

anon I really like that you phrased this as an inevitability lol. (and I am 100% on board.)

assuming this happens at the very end of the series, I like to think Tomura and the rest of his gang will manage to “escape” the heroes (“oh no... Tomura... he’s getting away... this is awful... somebody stop him” meanwhile no one is making even the slightest effort to move lol), at which point they will live the rest of their lives happily ever after as Lovable Outlaws and All-Around Scamps. like, maybe they’ll still commit some crimes, but they won’t be like serious crimes or anything. they’ll have more of a Guardians of the Galaxy vibe, maybe. I want them to be happy and I don’t want them to go to jail even though they’re teeeeeeeechnically murderers, I GUESS (look, nobody’s perfect!!). but maybe they steal the occasional priceless artifact and inadvertently wind up saving the world. seems like the best compromise.

lol I don’t know what this means either. like in the way a Youtuber has their own brand?? or like Frito-Lays. idk all I really do is talk a lot about an extremely popular manga, so I don’t think that’d really count?? I’m fine with this just being a little tumblr discussion blog haha.

so I’ve gotten like a half dozen asks and messages about this lol. (someone actually told me a very specific detail about said past! so just to remind everyone, I’m spoiler-free on Vigilantes right now guys, I’m sorry. I know it’s no fun.) I regret to admit that I still have not yet gotten around to it. I don’t know what it is, but I’m having a lot of trouble reading new stuff right now. I tried to start the other new BnHA spin-off which @temperatezone told me about (and btw no I did not know about it, so thank you!!) (and also! BnHA has THREE SEPARATE FUCKING SPIN-OFFS right now, how fucking crazy is that. like, I don’t want to accuse a manga series of literally trying to take over the world, but!! seriously that’s just insane), which has an amazing premise, but I haven’t had time/been in the right mindset to start that yet either. it sucks. I’m sorry. I’m working on it. ;;

press f to pay respects to what could have been, guys. they literally had it all. class, an ironic acronym, you name it. and now it’s just PLF. the Iron Patriot of villain organization names.

[authenticcadence18]

ferb for the character asks??

Y E AH FERB LET’S GO I LOVE FERB

Favorite thing about them: everything ok I just really, REALLY like Ferb. He’s such a great character. I love his sense of humor, I love how he is able to express himself in his own way, I love his bond with Phineas (and the entire family), I love his interactions with the other kids....and I also LOVE CHAOTIC FERB. AKA: I love when Ferb says or does things that are “chaotic,” such as him pulling out a mace in “Dude, We’re Getting the Band Back Together” or Vulcan death pinching Buford in “Raging Bully” 🤣. (On my blog, I usually use the phrase “chaotic Ferb” to refer to him teasing Isabella and Phineas about their feelings for each other, but that barely scratches the surface of him being chaotic in canon, LOL.) Also wingman Ferb is the best (but i’m gonna talk about that more in a second). He’s also a SUPER fun character to write, omg.

Least favorite thing about them: Sometimes Ferb’s character development is pushed to the wayside. I love ATSD, but in recent years I’ve come to realize Ferb doesn’t have nearly as much character development as Phineas in it. So I guess I wish he’d had more time to grow as an individual. The growth/character development he has is AMAZING, and I just wish there was more of it!

Favorite line: gOSH THIS IS HARD. Actually you know what, I’m gonna say a couple of my favorite lines from him in canon AND my favorite line I’ve written for him (because it’s my blog, things roll my way🤣)

Favorite lines in canon: “Well you could, it would just be ‘platyp.’” “Give up? Give up??” (And so on)

Favorite line I’ve written for him: “I suppose you didn’t need a skylight to see stars earlier....right, Phineas?” (This makes no sense out of context but it was VERY FUN TO WRITE, I LOVE FERB.)

Bonus line that wasn’t spoken by Ferb but to Ferb: “Not yet, Ferb.”

BrOTP: I’ve got two!!!!

BrOTP #1: Ferb and Phineas (obviously). I LOVE that their sibling relationship is 100% positive and friendly and supportive. So many times, sibling relationships in media are shown to be strained or cynical, but that is not the case for these two at all. They get along so well and clearly care SO MUCH about each other and each other’s interests. I love their relationship as siblings sooo so much, and I love that Phineas doesn’t push Ferb outside of his comfort zone. Liiiike like, aaah. I LOVE POSITIVE SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS IN MEDIA.

BrOTP #2: Ferb and Isabella!! I love, love, LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP SO MUCH. Ferb is comfortable enough around her to tease her, and she’s comfortable enough to talk to him about her feelings for Phineas (which speaks VOLUMES, because he’s Phineas’s brother. She trusts that Ferb will respect her privacy and not tell Phineas anything). “Wingman Ferb” is my favorite thing: the moment at the end of “Happy Birthday Isabella” where he steps aside to let she and Phineas spend time together is just, the sweetest ever. (I talk about that more in this post, but in short: he wants to help Isabella but also is thinking of Phineas in that moment. He wouldn’t have stepped aside to let them be alone together if he didn’t trust Isabella.) They’re going to be siblings one day and THAT MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY😭

OTP: u h m. I don’t have one😅.

NOTP: Ok aside from obvious nOTPS (I’m not gonna say em but...i suspect some of y’all will know what i mean😑) and F*rbnessa (which I talked about in this post), I reaaaally don’t like Ferb/Isabella as a ship. I would never judge anyone who ships it—it’s a personal opinion thing and there’s got to be good reasons to ship them, so ship away if you like them—but likeeeeeee......in the context of canon, I think Phineas is the better match for Isabella. First of all, I just like Ferb and Isabella’s friendship and view them as having a sibling-like dynamic. And, from what I’ve seen, some people only ship F*rbella because Ferb is more in tune with romance in general than Phineas and because Phineas is oblivious to Isabella’s affections for him. They want Isabella to be with someone who is more romantic, which I get but like.....her and Phineas’s dynamic is so interesting and compelling in of itself. It’s like they’re trying to punish Phineas for being a child who simply isn’t interested in romance. Phineas and Isabella are best friends, and he cares about her SO MUCH, even if he doesn’t consciously view her in a romantic light in the main show. Thus, shipping her with Ferb just because he’s more aware of romance leaves a bad taste in my mouth. (I talk about this at length in this post, if you’re interested in hearing more thoughts about it! And again, if you’re reading this and you ship F*rbella, no judgement! It just isn’t my cup of tea. And I would never leave hate on anyone’s F*rbella content: I just avoid it when I can and keep scrolling if I see it.)

Random headcanon: once Isabella and Phineas start dating, Ferb takes every opportunity to refer to Isabella as his “future sister-in-law” and lovingly teases them about how oblivious they were to one another’s feelings every so often. (Did I steal this from one of my fics? Yes. But that fic is basically just a bundle of my headcanons so IT COUNTS.) Also ok, here’s a non-phinabella themed headcanon: it’s canon that Ferb likes expressing himself through music, so when he’s a little older (or maybe once he starts college), he joins a community orchestra and plays whichever instruments they need. One week he might be on the viola, the next on the tuba, and the next he might be conducting because the director is out sick! His favorite orchestra memory is getting to play a solo on his harmonica during a holiday concert one year.

Unpopular opinion: i don’t think Ferb and Vanessa should have gotten together in AYA. In that episode, he’s just out of high school and she’s in her mid-twenties: they’re in completely different parts of their lives, and I think it’s strange that the crew made them canon in a show whose primary demographic is kids. (Plus i can’t watch the Phinabella kiss without being reminded that F*rbnessa is canon...couldn’t they have kissed WITHOUT ANYONE WATCHING THEM???? .....ok I’ll stop peppering this Ferb ask with Phinabella hot takes now😅)

Song I associate with them: “Hey Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today!” Also “We’re Watching and Waiting” because Ferb playing guitar in that song always makes me happy.

Favorite picture of them: THIS IMAGE IS PURE SERATONIN. I LOVE THIS SCENE AND I LOVE THESE THREE😭

Thank you sm for the ask, Maddy! I know Ferb is your fave, so I hope you enjoyed getting to read my thoughts on him! 😊

[dkettchen]

BLACK MIRROR S5E1 “STRIKING VIPERS” E X P L A I N E D

-with the help of gender and game theory-

Y’all asked for it so here we go

Some things before we start: -If you were watching the episode looking for gay/trans shit, and got disappointed, I’m sorry but I can’t help you because that’s just not what the episode was about and that is ok. It explored some aspects of queer experience, and the limbo between queer and cis-straight experience, that isn’t usually addressed in such an honest and indepth way, which I think is just as important as trans or gay rep.  -I will focus my analysis on the core theme of what certain academics writing about androgyny call the “moment of transgression” so in this case the question of ‘what is Karl/Roxette’s deal & what does that mean for Danny/Lance’s feelings toward and interactions with them?’. -CW: transphobia, homophobia, toxic masculinity, (rpg) uncanny valley stuff, you get it, you know what subjects we’ll be talking about here. 

Now!

I’d like to start by pointing out the title “Striking Vipers” to get the phallus talk out of the way right off the bat x’D: It’s a very blatant penis metaphor, and Vipers specifically are venomous, so represent toxic masculinity. The image of them striking signals danger. The repetition of phallic symbols represents the threat of castration (see medusa turning them bois to stone & the heroic masculinity of the mirror shielded boi who managed to defeat her), which to phallocentric masculinity is the scawiest thing there is (losing the phallus = losing manhood = death?? I guess??). Striking Vipers means that toxic masculinity, by nature, is a threat to itself. (I could talk for hours about the exact warped logic of phallocentricity but Imma spare y’all cause I don’t think it’s relevant for this, I’d even go as far as saying this episode was anti-phallic (which I use here as a more inclusive word for “feminist”, as the episode’s core is about two guys, but still focused on them experiencing and embracing feminine power and freeing themselves from phallocentricity(/patriarchy)’s grasp, just like “what men want” was preoccupied with the toxic masculinity of its female protagonist)) That sets up the kind of horror the episode will be about, the male fear of castration, of loss of identity, of having to face the fact that traditional masculinity is toxic even to the people who conform to it. 10/10 title choice.

Next up: the core question of what label to put on Karl and Danny’s VR interactions (‘Fellas, is it gay to fuck ur best friend in a lady body in VR?’). Which leads to the first question which is: what gender is Karl when he’s playing as Roxette?  An essentialist might say: ‘Well he’s a man irl so he’s still a man even if he plays with a female avatar. Danny’s attraction to him is either him being trapped or just plain old gay.’ But I don’t think that’s the case. It’s not a trap scenario (have some videos on traps and how they’re not real actually: (x.), (x.)), because both people involved know the exact parameters of the situation. Danny knows this is Karl in Roxette’s body, there’s nothing hidden, no misunderstanding to be had here. I also don’t think it’s gay because if it was this would’ve happened irl or with two male avatars, but it only happened once one of them was in a female avatar, that was the change that made it happen. It’s not a fetishising phallic/trans women scenario either, because it’s the opposite, it’s a man’s mind in a woman’s body. There’s no doubt about Karl being a man irl, a queer man sure, but definetely a man. He’s just too into -womanhood while playing her for me to say he’s still male when he’s in that form, like Karl as Roxette isn’t a trans guy as a man’s mind in a female body usually would be (like f.e. Ranma 1/2), I also don’t think Karl as Roxette is an androgyne/non-binary/third term either, because again, he’s embracing her womanhood and the role that comes with it, to the extreme that is hetero PiV sex, too much. I’d argue what we see is the closest to the liberation and euphoria described by other queer men when doing drag, she’s just a more extreme version of drag, of crossplaying, making the fantasy real, wearing not only the clothes of a woman but the body too. Roxette as Karl’s avatar is an alter ego, who is female, so -on the risk of sounding like the biggest performativist since Judith Butler- Karl as Roxette presents as female, so, for all intents and purposes, is female in that moment, regardless of his irl persona maintaining his male gender outside of that. 

But that wasn’t what we wanted to know, was it. Because even if, in the moment that Karl plays Roxette, we can say that person is female, that doesn’t eliminate the fact that Karl, outside of that, isn’t and that he’s still the one playing her. It’s the notion of how the player/actor/performer and avatar/character/persona aren’t the same thing and can have different relationships with someone in real life vs in the game, and how that can be confusing to think about because there is no clear line between the two, something that is called “bleed” in ludology(/game studies, from lat. ludus: game or school; referring to the gladiator schools in like the colosseum), despite their relationships being fundamentally different (in this case friendship irl vs passionate love in game).  Take TAZ as an example: The McElroys are related, but in playing a trpg, the DM, usually Griffin, takes up the mantle of all NPCs in the game world, including love interests. Griffin played Julia, Kravitz, and Danny (different Danny lol), but he’s talking to his brother, except he isn’t, is he, cause it’s not Griffin talking and it’s not his brother responding, it’s two characters interacting. A similar uncanny valley can be found in actor/character bleed: Take Ludi and Pom (the actors for Lance and Roxette) in this one: like 80% of their screentime was spent making out or having fake sex. These actors aren’t dating (as far as I’m aware lol), this is their job, to fake love each other on screen, imagine having to do that with a coworker you feel nothing for. It’s the characters that feel something and you have to play that feeling (which is so meta at that point, they’re playing characters that are avatars being played by characters in the show). Also, talking of role-playing, can we appreciate the scene of Danny & Theo at the bar where they’re role-playing and she’s like that was hot and he’s like mental note bae’s into role-playing, because DAMN that foreshadowing of the erotic potential of roleplay as a concept.

But it’s not role-playing really either with Danny and Karl, is it? They’re playing in avatars other than themselves but they’re not fully a different person. They still very much feel the same just in a different form. Their emotions are real even though they might only apply to part of their experience, the in-game part. Yet they obviously take them seriously and personal and get influenced by them outside the game. Maybe the question is what is and is not role-playing? Where does the bleed start and end, and do we even need to know the answer to those questions? They answer those questions for themselves in the end by testing out their feelings irl to see if they track or not, fully ready for both possibilities (which 10/10 character development love it). They want clarity. It’s about the emotional limbo fantasy brings with it. It’s the same question “Are traps gay” is about. (Not the “Is it ok to feel attracted to androgynous ppl” one necessarily, but) “Does feeling attracted to the fantasy mean you feel attracted to the “real” thing underneath?” Are the feelings for the fantasy alone or also for the reality? Are they only applicable to the latter and does that change something about what you thought you knew about yourself? It’s a question about the fringe edges of limited/monosexuality and the very fabric of reality. 

Let’s return to Karl to look at his experience as Roxette. We’ve established that she is female, but what is Karl while playing her? In the spirit of queer drag as liberating, it’s almost like he’s taking a break from being Karl when playing as her. Drag, crossplay, or this extreme version of it, functions as a break from the toxicity and limitations of traditional gender roles (so in this case traditional masculinity). It is freeing, though what does it free? Some genderless spirit inhabiting each person? But then how do you explain the firm gender identity lots of people, including for all we know Karl, experience in everyday life? As a trans person I know that there is SOMETHING to gender on some level that can create gender dysphoria (social and/or physical) for people when put in a body they don’t identify with. As a drag performer, trpg enthousiast, and notorious crossplayer, I know that taking a break from that reality and being somebody else can be relieving, a break from your own problems. So what is that part of us that translates into fantasy? I feel like this goes into transhumanist territory which I don’t know enough about to even attempt to provide an answer. I think what it comes down to in terms of gender theory is, this is a situation at the height of where performativism is true and relevant. There is a relativity to the nature of reality and gender itself. Whatever base essence there is that causes gender dysphoria at a mismatch between outside and inside, doesn’t apply here. Both notions (of essential and performative gender) are real and have an impact on people but neither is always the case and neither is never the case. They’re not mutually exclusive. 

So, seeing as it seems impossible to pinpoint what gender Karl/Roxette qualifies as (other than all and/or none), let’s look at the nature of Danny/Lance and Karl/Roxette’s interactions and feelings toward those interactions and each other to try and contextualise what label(s) they might fit under.  The desire on Danny’s side when faced with Roxette’s form shows itself in a way he’d never feel toward Karl. That visual change, and the social changes it brings with it (in gender role), makes it so extreme, because it pairs the parts of his friend he appreciates and enjoys (personality and whatever deeper connection a close friendship brings with it), with a form that is attractive to him. That change translates to Karl too. In playing with this new form that has a different role and a different effect on someone he’s known for so long, he flows into that, melts into this new persona and lives it up! The way they interact in game isn’t gay. It is very much reflecting how straight attraction and female sexuality works. On one hand it’s based in undeniable difference (hetero = different), and on the other hand Karl/Roxette’s enjoyment thereof is based in being desirable, in having that power of seduction just by existing, that notion of feminine power and the freedom that comes with it. It’s not autogynephilia, that would imply he gets off on the idea of himself as a woman, which is not the case, he gets off on being desired as a woman, which is what female sexuality is about (source: ContraPoints’ Autogynephilia video (which I recommend, it’s very good))

Still whenever Karl tries to get Danny to keep having VR sex with him/Roxette, he talks about her in 3rd person, like a persona. In saying “it’s just like porn” he poses something that is very much a different activity (acting out the porn by -doin’ it-) as a homosocially (social as opposed to sexual/romantic) acceptable one (watching porn together which I’ve been told is a thing). He attempts to differentiate himself from his female persona and enjoyment there-of (by objectifying her, like a porn actress to be watched rather than identified with), himself and Danny from the queerness (in enjoying femininity and in Danny being down with basically fucking a drag-queen) and to retreat back into heteronormative traditional masculinity, away from the scawy unknown of exploring your sexuality. His internalised homo- and transphobia makes him suppose that Danny, as a supposed straight guy, will only respond to the safety of assured non-queerness, which, honestly, I don’t think is the case with him. Karl supposes his cancelling on him and not wanting to do it anymore is out of the fear for his sexual identity or whatever, but from what I can tell, while Danny also seems to be rather confused about what it all means, the reasons he cancels their nightly sessions, and rejects Karl/Roxette, are always about not wanting his marriage to fall apart. He quite clearly prefers hot VR sex to hanging out with his wife, and cancels out of duty to her rather than fear. Even the first time they kiss, Karl is the one to freak out first. Danny seems much calmer about the attraction part of the situation, to the point of in the end being the one to take initiative and make them try it out irl to put an end to the confusion.

The episode hits hard because it takes the way men play video games and brings it to its logical conclusion. Video games are mens safe-space, and they do play with that playful flirty banter. The show takes that and makes it real, including taking it to its extreme conclusion that is -doin’ it-. It infiltrates the male safe space by taking normalised behaviour, and taking it so far that it puts traditional masculinity and heteronormative attraction in question, the very thing the safe space was supposed to protect them from. That’s why it’s existentially horrifying for the main characters (and viewers that identify with them) and qualifies as a black mirror episode even without having a homo-/trans-/biphobic ending (like other media that put traditional masculinity in question usually do, not to mention all the horror based in queer-coding) 

Hope y’all enjoyed this journey into a bit of mind-bending game and gender theory! Pls don’t expect me to do this like ever again bc I need to go work on my actual essay rip x’D 

[justkpopjokes]

Side Effects Analysis/Theories

Miroh/Yellow Wood || Side Effects [Teaser] [MV] || Double Knot

I’m back with tiny details to help all your theories uwu, more of notes than theories

NOTE: anything with asterisks* means it is mentioned again later in the post (it’s a long post ok)

YELLOW GUI

(basically the overlays/coding)

someone is logging in*, shown with PASS_LOGIN (followed by a long list of letters I’m too lazy to list) on the right side, along with

#00001 (yes, there’s a space)

#00002

#0003

most of the code on the left is refers to these codes+lost of letters, just a program being executed

the left side also has a “TOTAL” that starts at 297 and decreases to 149

the right side has 3 percentages listed that start at 0% and go up to 99% until the first drops back down to 98%

(the first percentage is the first to appear/increase btw)

the screen clears once the 3 listed ones hit 99%*

there’s also a 4th one that goes from 0% to 40% at the bottom right

also this is probably obvious, but the screen flashes yellow whenever smth bad is about to happen**

IT IS REFLECTION. Finally I can stop being so ominous, but the left side gui says “*it is reflection*”!! Right here!! Wth?!?!**

Idk if this is smth significant but I’ve never seen it before in code so

THE BUS STOP (take 2)

the bus station route has 5 stops, ending at the NEW WORLD (03)

the 5 stops seem to be the first 5 letters of the Greek alphabet in lowercase: α β γ δ ε****

y’all can see clearly the signs next to the elevator saying BE PREPARED TO STOP and DETOUR

there’s are two moons: the one on the left is the colour of the sky and is fading, whereas the one on the right is tinted pink/red/purple and has a clear silhouette***

LICENCE PLATES

the plate of the City Jungle bus (w/their signature lion logo) has AD2540*** skip to the end to see my revelation :)

skz’s truck thing has B2Y1017 and a tiger symbol on the driver’s side door

I didn’t come up w/this but 1017 is probably a reference to October 2017, when Hellevator was posted

****if so, then the B2Y could be referencing the Greek letters here, or maybe “Back to You”? maybe that’s how they’re confirming that they’ll go back to the hell elevator or bujakyong i guess lol

connecting to smth I mentioned in my first analysis: the tiger in a Korean legend wasn’t able to persevere and become human, whereas the bear was. Maybe it’s symbolism they couldn’t go on w/o ditching the truck at the end?

RANDOM ROAD TRIP STUFF

(anything that happens while they’re on the truck)

Chan spots smth red in the ground?? (flowers?) but thas real sketchy bc the slowly emptying gas tank is shown right after the screen turns red

this is the only instance of the screen going just red during this mv

Hyunjin gets a solo shot after

Hyunjin’s vs Felix

Felix stands up on the truck and Hyunjin tries to get him to sit down, only to be brushed off by Felix

when Chan did this, Hyunjin didn’t do anything, only get that solo shot

Hyunjin vs Seungmin

I won’t go deep into this bc other people have better theories, but if Hyunjin was worried abt them being watched, then it makes sense that he’d try to stop Felix from making them obvious or getting hurt (which then they’d need to find someone to help him)

the papers on the ground they step on say: new road/elevator, road closed/_min_ _ation_

also Peach pointed out that the older members go to Hyunjin, and the younger ones go to Seungmin owo

when the gui percents reach 99%, they break the gate blocking their way

***as I said before, the screen turns yellow before smth (really) bad happens, but not before the truck tire gets pierced?? (again, maybe they were supposed to ditch the truck???)

the city in the sky

obviously, the city in the sky is the City Jungle, and being in the sky (cloud 9-esque maybe??) keeps them away from the mostly-abandoned Yellow Wood floor

the lightning probably shows the true face of the City Jungle (go figure)

they all run away from search lights? So they were found again, but also how did they end up back here????

THEORIES: the bible, the login, and Reflection

NOTE: the only theory that’s possibly accurate is reflection lol so you can skip down

If you read my previous 2 analyses/note posts, you know I’ve been curious about reflections and Bible references. Admittedly, I don’t think the bible stuff will be as prominent (bc it’s religious), but the reflection stuff will probably be focused on.

THE BIBLE

As I said, this stuff likely isn’t accurate, but it would fit really well if they decide to go this route!! It started with the cross earrings/necklaces in previous comebacks (mainly worn by Hyunjin), the fact Hellevator  is HELLevator, and when skz runs together at 3:18 (in Side Effects), they form a cross, with Hyunjin up front.

I’ve also mentioned some bible verses that I found using numbers in the mvs (note that I use the New International Version to quote anything). Most of the ones were mostly irrelevant though. Other people have brought up in another theory that “AD” on the licence plate AD2540 could reference Anno Domini which could mean this was happening in the future, but I double-checked bible verses again.

Book of Matthew, 25:40 = “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”

This section is about the King who has separated his “sheep” (those who have done good) to the right and “goats” (those who haven’t done good) to the left. The king says the sheep have done good things for him, but the sheep say they didn’t do those things to him specifically. This verse is referencing that the king knows they have done good to another person, and therefore him.

Obviously, if this were actually what skz were going for, they probably would’ve referenced the actual verse where the king separates his sheep and goats, but regardless, it does bring up the question: where else have we seen left and right, where one is bad?

We’ve seen it a few times: the two roads taken shown side by side when they take the bus or don’t, the two moons, and possibly skz vs the City Jungle.

THE LOGIN

Hyunjin, the “error” (other people’s posts go more in depth), is a focal point in this mv. We’ve also heard about “glitches” Jisung and Felix. So who can disprove that they’re just in a computer? (Jk but listen)

The yellow gui (and other code screens in Miroh) suggest we’re monitoring them. Or maybe the gui is in Hyunjin’s brain?? But I do know the percentages mirror what skz are doing (when they break the gate at 99%) and the screen goes yellow before smth bad happens (which is usually stuff Hyunjin notices).

There also seems to be an error in the code… idk how to explain this well, but the “error” might actually be planned. (I’ll make another post to clarify.)

REFLECTION

I mentioned in my 1st post that the lineup of skz on the rooftops in Miroh and the Yellow Wood teaser were mirrored, except 2 members switched with the 2 right next to them (Jeongin/Minho switched and Jisung/Hyunjin switched—did Hyunjin become the glitch at that point?). This might be a coincidence since it isn’t exact mirroring.

Anyway, there’s definitely some reference to reflection, because of the yellow gui! It might just be a nod to smth but hm. This is where I just dump some ideas

As I said in the Bible paragraphs, there’s references to left/good and right/bad. So reflection could reference:

people you thought were good are actually bad and vice versa (reference to Hyunjin, Jisung, and Felix maybe?)

the choice that’s on the left is good and the right is bad (getting on the bus was a good choice, which technically it was bc they’re sleeping peacefully) or the other way around

The moon on the right is “bad” (discoloured), but maybe actually the better one once reflected

You can also consider our left is their right, but that’s just confusing lol

Honestly, none of these seem right, but the gui is telling someone (likely just us tho) that smth is being reflected, and maybe not in a good way, since we aren’t seeing things the right way, or we’re seeing the bad parallel.

[vrainsrewatch]

episode 18 thoughts

so i decided i wanted to watch this duel all in one day, so that’s why i wasn’t around yesterday~ tomorrow is the last day of my break before starting my new job, so hopefully i can work out a new schedule for this after i get used to it.

enough about that though!! this is one of my favorite duels in all of vrains, so i’m super pumped to be rewatching it! this one gets pretty heavy though, be warned lol

the episode starts out with akira explaining what he’s just learned...

and man, part of the reason i love this duel so much is because of how they absolutely nailed playmaker’s expressions. i won’t go into too much detail, but i’ve been in a...somewhat similar situation, where there was someone who for whatever reason believed they understood what i had gone through and should just let them handle everything, while not understanding part of my healing process was handling it myself. the idea of giving up my control over certain things was completely out of the question, and that’s part of what makes this duel was great to me. playmaker perfectly illustrates those thoughts and feelings.

i’m sure i’ll talk a lot about that throughout the next few posts, but i’ll stop myself there for the time being lol. 

anyways,

this was already hinted to us, the viewers, but not to any of the characters really, so i love how shocked kusanagi is. big businesses are generally pretty shady, but the LI is obviously in a different league lol. it makes sense that he was surprised.

and here’s one of my biggest reasons for disliking akira initially. i think he does grow as a character, but to be honest with y’all, i’m still not overly fond of him lol. i love his relationship with aoi, i appreciate his growth, but man.

the fact that he saw any of that data and was like, “nah, better not let the kid who was used for this project see any of the data. nvm the fact that he is searching it out on his own, so clearly it’s important to him, but he shouldn’t have to worry about this. i can do it” just. 

i’ve seen a few people say that they like akira for this, and i won’t disagree that it’s a realistic way to react. but playmaker is right. he has the right to learn what he went through. why he went through it.

then we get:

it’s still a bit weird to see everyone in vrains questioning this when i’m so used to the concept and to the characters being used to it, lol. but it’s nice to see that train of thought continued. they all have time to come to terms with it, just like we, the viewers, do. it’s cool.

but then akira continues to be an idiot:

and like, honestly. i don’t think he’s doing anything horrible. i don’t think he’s being mean. i think he’s being stupid lmao. he obviously does care, just... doesn’t know how to handle this kind of situation. he’s so used to handling everything, taking care of aoi, and even in his former position he had employees that worked under him, so it makes sense. but he’s not the only capable person around, and he needs to let others handle their own issues.

and also, is it any wonder why playmaker doesn’t let akira take care of it? besides all of the obvious, he’s just gotten confirmation that the company he works for had something to do with the lost incident, lmao.

seriously, people knock on vrains for a lot of things, and like, you do you man. if this show wasn’t your fave, that’s cool. not everything is gonna jive with everyone and there’s nothing wrong with that!

but vrains really, really does this right. i love and will always love how it handles yusaku’s trauma through the series, and i genuinely feel blessed that we got him as a ygo protag.

but on yusaku’s last point, they agree to duel:

i hate to break it to you, ai, but you’re in a ygo show. you don’t really have a choice LOL

i also really love how kusanagi is handled in these eps. he’s not a victim, not in the same way his brother or yusaku were involved, but he was still deeply effected. how could he not be? he basically gave up his life to become a hacker and try to figure out what happened to his brother so he could help him. he had to watch as his once sweet little brother became a shell of a person, and nothing he did could stop it.

but anyways, something sad in a different way for a sec:

i, of course, immediately thought of the final duel and how yusaku finished the duel with decode talker. that....really hurt to hear with that context lol. 

ow, my heart.

but at least ai’s also got some non-depressing lines to break things up a little:

seriously lmao what is duelsick??? i always wondered why it bothered him so much lol

but this episode is very depressing so that didn’t last long, whoops. we get to find out next about akira and aoi’s upbringing:

but here’s the thing: this is so, so different. it’s why playmaker and kusanagi get so angry and lash out. i am not at all denying that what akira and aoi lived through was terrible. they had it really rough, and it clearly hurt them both and changed how they view the world and live in general. 

but he literally just looked through the LI files he knows at least somewhat how different these situations are, in fact, he literally says that he doesn’t know the pain playmaker endured. 

my own personal feelings aside, this is a great look into akira’s character. just like with his own little sister, he has a hard time relating to other’s problems. he has a hard time understanding how they’re feeling, glancing at something and thinking he knows what’s best. it’s consistent with everything we’ve seen from him so far, and while it makes it easy for me to dislike him, i completely understand why people really liked him and his development. 

he was never a bad person. just a misguided person trying to help when he shouldn’t have, or should’ve done differently. his heart is truly in the right place, and yusaku even acknowledges that:

and it’s good to see that by the end of the series, he and aoi can finally fight together, understanding each other. and i’m really happy about that.

i really do love their relationship. they’re great siblings, even if they’re not related by blood. it’s really rare to see such caring step siblings in media, so i’m really happy we got them!!

but also, talk about a smack in the face. i won’t let this six year old be unhappy, he explains to the person who, as a six year old, was kidnapped and tortured for six months as he hides the explanation of that event from them. lmao. but this emotional investment i have is what makes this such a good duel for me! it’s so high stakes, and the voice acting is so on point. i love. 

obviously, though, neither kusanagi nor playmaker take that very well:

i remember sitting on my couch, watching this episode for the first time, and just being blown away by this scene. it’s so powerful. every time i rewatch this, i am still amazed and i can feel my heart pound lmao. it’s not very often we see playmaker get this emotional, which definitely makes this impact greater, but the same for kusanagi.

he’s a much more expressive character, but while he’s serious about his job of helping yusaku, he’s more laid back in every day situations. and even while he’s on the job, he often smiles. to see that kind of character in this kind of a fury makes for a really, really big impact.

i love this. it so perfectly sums up that feeling, why someone would get so angry in this kind of situation. i could talk all day about it, but i have a few other episodes of this duel and i’ve been writing this post for like 40 minutes lol

i wonder if this is also in reference to her own brother situation? i felt like that reveal... didn’t exactly come out of nowhere, most people had guessed it by the time they dueled -- as had i -- but it was definitely rushed imo. i liked their development a lot, don’t get me wrong, but i think it would’ve been cool if she’d like... mentioned it, a few times beforehand. i suppose this could be taken that way, though i definitely hadn’t thought about it that way before haha

also, the dueling in this episode is great. i love the pacing of this duel. even without all the emotional stuff that’s done so well, i think i’d still enjoy just watching this duel because it’s solid all around. 

that’s all i’ve got for this one, but i’m gonna start episode 19 in just a little bit!