#it’s worth a watch for sure. especially if you like foundation like this feels very much like a sort of sister series to that

[daincrediblegg]

Look guys like I won’t lie to you. Is Moonhaven the *best* sci-fi series I’ve ever watched? Probably not. It’s still one of the most fascinating ones I have seen because it just has an interesting concept? Yeah dude. Yeah it is that. And you should see it because man I am mad that amc canned it

[rafesbabyg1rl]

The Watcher ~ Part One

Part Two, Part Three,

Summary: Rafe Cameron x Reader, Stalker!Rafe x Pogue!Reader Reader's parents work late on Friday nights, which she spends alone. Except Reader hasn't been alone in a long time, not that she knows of at least. Rafe has watched you for years, he's very good at it. He has no plans of formally meeting you, as he's satisfied with the current arrangement. He likes it better when Reader doesn't know he's watching. But his idea of staying an anonymous stalker is ruined when reader catches him in her bedroom one Friday night. Rafe has to figure out how to fix his mistake before he loses the only thing that makes his life worth living.

Warnings: Rafe stalks reader...that's literally the entire plot. He's pretty pervy in this, I guess. Masturbation (Rafe) in front of unconscious reader, strong/vulgar language, somnophilia (I guess?), death threat(?). If I missed anything from this part that I should include in the warnings, please let me know!

Word Count: 5.9k

Author Note: My sneak peek got a few likes, so thank you if you liked it, y'all are the reason I'm finally posting this part! I'm not sure how I feel about this fic so far, I definitely have a habit of overly critiquing my own work and never being fully satisfied with it, but I'm trying to get over that. I don't have plans for this fic, it's just going in whatever direction I can think of as I write, so if you have any suggestions, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEE let me know, I'll write pretty much anything. This is my first work published on tumblr and the first thing I've written in years, so I hope it's at least readable, and maybe even a little enjoyable. If just one person enjoys this, then my mission is accomplished. Thank you, I hope you enjoy! And do NOT be shy to share feedback or give suggestions/requests. Again, thank you!

For those of you that DID read the sneak peek, a large portion of this part was included in the sneak peek, but I highly suggest reading it over in it's entirety. This draft has undergone several additional rounds of editing and I believe it is better than the version I published as a sneak peek.

CREDITS: The foundation of this fic was heavily inspired by/ based off of one of @faiszt 's bots on character ai. So, if you like this and you like character ai, I greatly suggest that you check out the bot!

One thing about humans is that we always want what we can’t have, especially when everyone else wants that same thing. It’s just something all humans do; but what happens when you already have more than you need and everything you could ever want? Well, almost everything. Rafe Cameron has more money than he could spend in his own lifetime, he can practically buy anything he wants. Except one thing, you.

At first he just thought you were pretty, but the more he saw you out in public the more and more he liked you. The way you’d talk or laugh when you were out with your friends…god, he could tell just how sweet you are. Too delicate for him to touch, like the wings of a butterfly or the petals of a flower. This is when he went from wanting you to needing you. 

See, another thing about humans is that we admire things. And, admiration can easily turn into obsession. Everyone has been obsessed with something or someone at some point in life, it’s normal. Obsessions will come and go, like a cycle. You get obsessed with something, you get over it, and you let it go until a new obsession marks the beginning of the new cycle. But things are a bit different for Rafe, he has never gotten over anything like, ever. Not once has Rafe Cameron ever let anything in his life go. When Rafe wants something, when he needs something, he will do whatever it takes to get it. And oh, how he needs you.

Rafe’s fascination, his obsession with you has been going on for years. He won’t ever admit it, but his perfectly curated collection of your personal items in his closet proves just how bad he’s been obsessing over you. The first thing he had ever stolen from you was your drink, you had been at the same party and you left your red solo cup about three-quarters full. Nobody noticed anything when he casually picked up the cup and finished the rest of your beer, purposely lining his lips with where yours had touched the cup, which was perfectly marked by the lipstick you had been wearing. After you’d leave a restaurant, he’d take the straws from your drinks. Rafe eventually worked himself up to breaking into your house and stealing your things when nobody was home. And Rafe made sure to explore every single inch of your room. All of your favorite panties? Gone. He’d take everything, your shirts, bras, whatever he liked really. You had noticed things kept disappearing from your room, but you’d just think you misplaced it–whatever it may be, or left it in a bag somewhere. Rafe had a good system. He knows exactly how much and how often he can take from you. 

Rafe knows he’s sick. He knows that it’s wrong to watch you from outside your bedroom window, that it’s wrong to follow you around in public, to purposely bump into you so you have to mutter a ‘sorry’ as you move around him. He just really, really needs you. And in Rafe’s twisted, dark, mess of a mind he believes this is the best way–the only way. He couldn’t treat you like every other girl, no, you were special. You were his and you just didn’t know it yet. Starting early on in his life, Rafe has always been neglected, always pushed into the shadow of his younger sister, Sarah. He’s been told he ruins everything, that everything he touches turns to ash. And you’re way too perfect to ruin. So, he follows you around like a creep, lurking from a distance. Of course you didn't know he’s been following you everywhere…he liked it better that way.

Rafe knew the line had already been crossed. Hell, the line had been crossed a long fucking time ago. He doesn’t care anymore, he needs you. Heaven is smelling like you; and not because you had left your scent on him, but because he had bought the same perfume as you. He needed to know what you smell like, how sweet you are…how sweet you taste. Heaven is watching your chest rise and fall as you sleep peacefully in your bed. Heaven is you.

What Rafe has been doing to you for years could be defined as worship. Rafe was worshiping you. He’s your good boy; your loyal man and he was going to take care of you; protect you, even if you don’t know it yet. You’re what he lives for; you’re all that keeps him going, the only thing he cares about. 

Since he’s been watching you for years, of course he knew your schedule. Of course he knew that on Fridays your parents work late at the local bar & grill that they own. This means you slept in your house by yourself practically every Friday night. So every Friday night, Rafe would sneak in through the back door that you always forget to lock. He just wants to check on you, he wants to see his pretty girl sleeping beautifully, he wants to know that his baby is okay. This is not a crime, it’s not a crime to care; he’s not insane, he’s just in love–if you could even call it that. How can it be wrong to protect what’s his? Oh, and god forbid anyone ever get in the way of his stalking routine, if anyone were to take you away from the inevitable path of meeting him…oh, the things he would do; whatever it takes.

One unforgettable Friday night, you fall asleep on your couch watching a rerun of one of your favorite shows. You enjoy being alone. If only you knew you haven’t been alone for a very long time. You’re woken up by sudden, loud noises coming from your bedroom, but you think maybe it’s just the cat, or maybe you didn’t shut your window. You get up from the couch and in several slow, cautious steps you tiptoe over to your room. When you enter your doorway, you’re immediately greeted by the sight of a tall and broad man standing in the center of your bedroom holding the last shirt you wore to his nose, breathing in your scent. The sight of all this makes you immediately freeze and stand motionless in your bedroom doorway, staring at him blankly. 

Rafe doesn’t startle when he realizes you’ve caught him red-handed. Instead, quite the opposite actually. He’s actually a bit amused, relieved even; if you hadn’t caught him just now, he never would’ve been able to work up the nerve to finally talk to you. He didn’t want to have to be creepy about things between you two, but he couldn’t talk to you like a normal person. It’d be too unpredictable, too unknown. Meeting you like this…he has all of the control. 

“There you are,” he grinned. “How beautiful…” The strangely offputting man gloated in your fear and it was obvious.

You take a step back from where you had been frozen. He takes a step forward. This cannot be happening, you think. Your brows furrow in hopelessness and defeat. Again, you freeze where you are standing, even more afraid to move now. 

You feel like you’ve seen the man before, which you have, plenty of times; but he was careful to never have too big of an interaction, so that you couldn’t recognize his face. You have no clue that you’ve been and always will be his.

 “W-wha…who are you? W-why are you in my house?” You try to keep your voice as strong as possible, but the way your words shake with trepidation betrays you. 

The man takes a quick step forward, slowing to a stop and putting his hands up in mock surrender as you jump back. “Woah, woah, hey…calm down, alright?”, he chuckles when he sees the utter horror and complete fright in your eyes. His tone switches into one of a little more seriousness, “I'm not here to hurt you, you don't need to be so scared...”.  If you didn’t feel like your only choice was to look him in the eyes, you might even believe him. But, you had no other option but to witness the animalistic spark in his eyes that lit up with each word he spoke. With each step he took, you took one further back—your heart dropped into your stomach at the sight of his cocky, twisted smile and the way he looked at you…like you’re a zebra grazing in your natural habitat and he’s the lion waiting to pounce and attack you in your own home. 

“I just wanted to see you," he leaned up against your dresser, taking in the look on your face. His face almost instantly drops the predatory look and adopts one of mock concern, almost convincing enough to hide his amusement. “Hey, it's okay, baby, it’s okay…”

“Please,” you beg. “If you leave I won’t call the cops. I won’t tell.”

Rafe cocks his head and lets out a slow breath, as if he’s disappointed in your reaction; you aren’t supposed to want him to leave. “Hey, hey…I��m not gonna hurt you. Just listen to me…you don’t wanna have to call the cops at three in the morning,” he elaborated. He’s trying to be as convincing as he can because he cannot screw this up. Even so, he still can’t help his smile that only grows at the sight of your terrified face. He shakes the smirk off, adopting a serious expression once more. “Especially when the cops won't be able to do a damn thing.” 

He continues to step closer to you with each word. He stops once his figure is looming over you, looking at you like a lion about to pounce on its prey. “You should really be more careful, sweetheart, leaving the back door open like that at this time of night, when you’re all alone…you never know who might be out there.” His voice is cold as he warns you about the dangers of the world; the dangers of himself. 

“Who are you?” You repeated. The man looks so familiar but you just couldn’t quite place his face anywhere. You just need to know what he wants; who he is. 

“That’s not important right now baby…we’re focused on you, yeah?” The man’s eyes widen, taking in every detail of your face; the only other times he’s seen you this close is when he watches you sleep. 

You could feel his breath on your face as he spoke. The look in his eyes tells you to take another step back, but when your back collides with the wall you jump; there’s nowhere left for you to go and that was exactly how he wanted it. He wanted you like this alone, afraid, and cornered. He loved your fear. The man stares at you with a predatory look although aside from the darkness and lust in his eyes, you can see something else, but…what is it?  

“W-what do you want?” You ask, keeping as calm as you can. Even though with every passing second the air gets thinner and thinner. Your stomach is in knots and your throat starts to close up. Not to mention the stinging tears in your eyes, threatening to fall at any given moment.

“Me?” he cocked an eyebrow, his eyes shamelessly roaming your body as he blew out a huff. “I just wanna have a little chat, that's all...” The unknown man takes another step towards you, invading your personal space, his tall frame towering over you as his bottom lip finds a home between his teeth. Rafe reaches up and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. “No need to be so scared, baby...”

“T-talk about what?” You have no idea what this man who you don’t know, could possibly want to talk about with you. Why is he acting like he knows you when you’re sure you’ve never even seen him before? Why is he…admiring you? No, that couldn’t be right. The mystery man is so confusing, all his twists and turns giving you whiplash. 

“Ah, you see...” he responds, pausing to place his other hand on the wall behind you, almost trapping you in. You feel his hot breath against the sensitive skin of your face, burning you like hot steam. His breath was slow and steady. He was completely calm. He liked this. He gave you a genuine smirk, bringing his face closer to your ear. “It’s more of a proposition really…”

“What is it…?” You ask. Not out of curiosity because honestly, you’re too afraid to know. But because you figure things might, just might go better for you if you play along. He stayed silent for a moment—enjoying the look in your eyes and your erratic breathing.

“All this fear…all this trembling...” he trails off as he brings his hand up to your chin, his thumb slowly tracing the outline of your lower lip. “It's nice to finally meet you...” He chuckles and leans in so that his lips nearly touch your ear. “Will you stop shaking like that if I tell you what I want?” His thumb moves from your bottom lip and he tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear; he doesn’t want anything getting in the way of his view of your pretty face.“Hmmm?” he challenged. “Or will you still be shaking like a scared little puppy?”

“I-I don’t…” You stutter, not being able to speak or even think clearly with the way he’s glaring at you. 

“Shhhh… ” he tutted, bringing his other hand from the wall to your lower back and drawing you even closer to him—until your body was almost flush against his, his touch surprisingly warm. “You're not answering my question,” he whispers your name as he runs his fingers through your hair, it’s softer than he’d imagined. 

“Please just…” The tears were no longer threatening as they began to fall down your cheeks. “Please…” Hearing this man who you do not know, say your name, was probably the most frightening thing to happen to you yet. 

“Shhh, stop that...” he calmly commanded when he saw the tears falling from your pretty eyes. Rafe's voice was soft but stern—he hated seeing you so distressed. His hand moved from your lower back to your chin, making you look up at him. “Hey it’s okay…it’s okay baby, no need for tears. I just wanna talk to you is all." You almost believe him for a moment with how sincere the glint in his eyes appeared. But you’ve picked up on his manipulative expressions. 

“My parents will be home soon…” You vaguely remember your parents mentioning something about something and blah blah blah…they’re closing early tonight. You really hope it’s true and isn’t just a figment of your imagination; something your mind is making up so you don’t completely give up. 

A cocky smile returned to his face as he let a small huff of amusement slip past his lips. He knew your parents were working late, just like every other Friday night. "Bullshit,” he chuckled. His hand moved back to your lower back, holding you against him. “It’s just you and me, pretty girl.” He grabs your waist and within the next second, you’re on your bed and he’s hovering over you. You can feel his hot breath in your ear, you can smell him, feel the excessive heat radiating from his body. He speaks quietly now, more serious than he’s been this entire time, “Don’t ever fuckin’ lie to me again. Got it?”

His words provoke a small whimper from you. How long has he been watching you? What’s he gonna do? What does he want to talk about? Your mind is filled with questions you’re too afraid to ask. “I-I’m not lying.” He leans down, his lips almost touching yours. Rafe’s eyes are looking straight into yours, admiring the complete and utter fear your eyes possess. He doesn’t want you to be scared of him. But fuck, does he love it.

“Oh yeah?” He mumbles as he presses his face into your hair, taking in your scent. He can’t believe he’s finally this close to you. He didn’t think it’d ever happen, and if you didn’t catch him tonight, it probably wouldn’t have. It’s meant to be, he thinks. “What did I tell you about lying, hm baby? I know you’re fuckin’ lyin’ to me, so you wanna try that again?”

Before your brain could muster up some bullshit response, the sound of the front door unlocking echoes through the hall and into your bedroom. Rafe holds his breath and puts his hand over your mouth, causing your eyes to widen as he leans to the side to glance down the hallway at the front door. “Shh…”, he whispers. You weren’t lying. Your parents came home from work early and they’re about to turn the doorknob and come inside the house. Rafe looks at you, the look in his eyes beyond unsettling. “Tell the cops…tell anyone, and I’ll come back and fuckin’ kill you, okay? This is our secret. Don’t make me come back and hurt you babe, I really, really don’t wanna have to do that, alright?” 

He has to be bluffing, right? But, when you look up to meet his gaze, you can tell; you can tell he meant every single syllable that he spoke. It’s not like the cops would believe you if you said you had a stalker anyways, you’re a pogue. And cops never believe a pogue. Rafe doesn’t need a response from you, the fear in your eyes tells him all he needs to know.

 Just before you hear the front door open, Rafe smirks at you. “We’re gonna have so much fun together baby.” Reluctantly, the disturbed man leans back and takes his hands away from you. Without another word, he walks over to your bedroom window and pushes it open. Before ducking to climb out, the large man looks back at you. Your breath hitches even further if that’s even possible.

 “Goodnight puppy.” The outline of his smug grin is visible even in the darkness of your room. Just as you hear the quiet voices of your parents enter your house, the dark figure turns and exits your window. When the man is outside you sit up and rush over to shut and lock the window behind him. 

With caution, Rafe watches as your mother comes to peek her head in your bedroom. She only lingers in your doorway long enough to see your dark shape laying in bed. Covered in blankets, you pretend to sleep, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to hold a casual conversation with your mother at the moment. And the last thing you want to do is raise any alarm. Not while he’s out there–whoever he is. Hot, salty tears fall from your eyes, wetting the soft skin of your cheeks. When she shuts the door, you let out a shaky breath, finally being able to breathe.But, you keep your eyes sealed shut. At least then you can’t see if the man is still watching you from outside your window. You lie awake for hours, how are you meant to go back to sleep after whatever the hell just happened? All you can do now is wait. Is he coming back? When will he come back? Who is he? Why does he want you? There’s a million different questions and worst scenarios circling around in your head. So, you just wait, it’s all you can do. 

As you wait, the hours turn into days, days turning into a week as the next Friday approaches you; you spend your time worrying about having to be home alone again. There still had been no sign of him since your encounter last week, but you decide to stay the night at a friend’s house, not wanting to take the risk. The second Friday after you came face-to-face with your stalker, you get a friend to spend the night with you. And now, after four weeks of waiting there’s still no sign of the deranged man. Although, if you had no knowledge of him stalking you for years he clearly is good at staying hidden. As the fourth Friday approaches, you think over your options. You can go to a friend’s house or have a friend stay over, as you’ve been doing. But, you’re tired of waiting for something to happen. You’re sick of not feeling safe in your own home and of having to look over your shoulder at all times. You used to love being alone, and now it’s been weeks since you’ve spent any time to yourself. You’ve had enough. This Friday you’re not hiding, you’re done being a coward. You will not allow this creep to keep taking away everything you love; you won’t allow yourself to waste any more time worrying about that psycho. So, you stay at home by yourself. He’s not gonna show, right? He was just bluffing or on drugs or something, that’s what you convince yourself.

You pull back the fluffy comforter on your bed and climb in. You pull the covers up and completely over yourself, you used to do this as a little girl when you’d have a nightmare or you’re scared of the thunder or the monster in your closet. If the blanket could protect you when you were little it should work now…right? Well, maybe it’d still work if you had a nightmare, but logically, what is it gonna do against your stalker? But no matter how much you force yourself to believe that he’s not coming back, you still find yourself praying. You’ve never been very religious, but recently you pray to whoever will listen. 

You had bought some sleeping pills from the store a few days after you discovered your secret stalker. They helped you sleep, since your brain hasn’t once stopped thinking about him since the whole fiasco. Reaching over, you pull out the drawer of your nightstand. You grab the bottle of pills, you swallow a couple dry and set the rest on your nightstand. The pills start to kick in quite sooner than usual, must be because you took double the amount…you’re gonna need them to fall asleep tonight. Your first night alone in weeks. In just a few short minutes, you’re out cold, buried underneath an absurd amount of pillows and blankets.

Rafe spent the past few weeks feeling overwrought after what he did. He feels wrong–a feeling he’s not used to experiencing. But it’s because he knows he’s ruined any chance he might’ve had with you. Before you caught him in your bedroom, he had a chance that you could meet him regularly and think he was just a normal guy. But now, all hopes of you ever thinking he’s ‘normal’ have been abandoned. He actually feels shame and…regret for his actions? He’s been seeing less and less of you, and it’s making him angry, so fucking angry. Your schedule has been relatively the same for the past years and now you’re switching it up? You’re hiding from him; running from him just like everyone else in his life. Maybe the things his family has been saying about him for most of his life is true; maybe everything he touches does turn to ash. God, why does he ruin everything? 

You are the one thing, the only thing that Rafe did not want to ruin. You’re the one thing in his life that’s too perfect to ruin…too innocent. But, the damage has been done. He doesn't have many options left. He could leave you alone, but then he’d be weak for not sticking to his word and he can’t have you thinking he’s weak and that you have the power. He could go back, but then what would he do? There was absolutely no way in hell you’d seriously talk to him, and he didn’t want to force himself onto you. He really wanted you to need him back, you have to want it. But everything you do or say now will be out of fear, it’ll be you trying to stay alive. He wanted you to be desperate for him, not desperate to get rid of him. Either way, you’re never gonna forgive him; you’ll always hate him now. Since you’ll feel the same no matter what he does now, he decides that he just needs to see you, he needs to talk to you again. It’s been far too long since he’s been close to you. He can’t take another goddamn second without seeing his reason to live.

He hurries over to your house, parking an entire block away as usual. He makes sure no eyes are on him as he sneaks around to your backyard. Rafe tries peeking through the curtains that block your window to see if you were in bed or not, but he can’t get a good view. He needs to know if you’re home. He needs to see you. 

Rafe sneaks around to the side of your house, checking all windows and doors in the process, but he has no such luck. But he doesn’t give up yet, he’ll get in, he’ll find a way. He tries the side door that leads into your garage. He lets out a giant breath of relief when the door clicks open. Once he’s inside the garage, he takes a quick glance around to analyze his surroundings and burn every inch of your house into his memory. When he finally enters your house, he takes his time to look around. Obviously Rafe knew you were a pogue–he knew everything about you, but you never really looked or acted like one. However, the inside of your home puts your life on display, making it very clear you’re a pogue. 

You sleep soundly, only being interrupted by the occasional dream; completely unaware that your stalker is making his way down the hall and into your bedroom. Rafe opens the door quietly. Your room is dark like the rest of your house, but the moonlight shining through your thin curtains provides just enough light that he can see the outline of your sleeping body. Now that your presence has been confirmed, he feels like he can finally breathe and he lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. 

Before he became totally obsessed with you and he’d see you occasionally in public, you used to just make him horny. He’d catch a glimpse of your smile or hear the softness in the way you spoke, or the innocence in your sweet laugh and his dick would be hard within seconds. And when his obsession grew and he’d watch you more frequently, sex with other girls started not doing anything for him. He needed you…he needs you. When he actually started paying attention to the way you spoke, the way you acted, he fell in love–what he thinks is love anyways. Rafe realized you’re the sweetest, most pure person he’s ever known. He didn’t think people like you really existed. His discovery led him to watch you more closely, he started taking more risks just because he needed to find your flaw. There’s no way you’re actually this perfect, it has to be an act. Now, after years of watching you he can confidently say that you really are just that perfect. Rafe needs you for more than just getting off now, he needs your comfort, he needs the kindness that radiates off of you. Which is why he’s always trying to find a way to get closer to you, he needs to absorb your sweetness. But hes really done it now; he’s fucked up big time. You hate him.

He hadn’t realized that the hate he brought upon you would tint the kindness that radiates for your being. He has to get you to let go of the hate he’s caused you, he needs you to be yourself again. He just doesn't know how, if it’s even possible.

 As you sleep soundly, his large frame towers over you as he stares down at you through the darkness. You look so peaceful, so innocent. It physically pains him to know that he’s taken away parts of your innocence. All he can do is stare at you as he mentally curses himself. He can’t wake you up and ruin your small moment of peace. It’s better if you don’t know he’s there. 

Your stalker slowly raises his hand and uses his thumb and pointer finger to pull your blanket down to your knees. Even with the blankets pulled down most of your body was hidden from him. Almost everything is left to the imagination in the loose, patterned pj pants and the oversized, long sleeve shirt that you’re wearing. He can only see a small portion of your lower stomach due to your shirt slightly riding up. And that small bit of skin is enough to trigger his memories of you. Because of course he’s seen you countless times; he’s got your body memorized.

He’s practically panting as he takes in the sight of you, imagining that you’re unclothed beneath him; his memory is sharp enough to almost see it. His cock grows to press against his jeans and his eyes trail up to your beautiful face. The ache in his needy cock starts to become unbearable. Your name slips past his lips in the form of a mumble when he starts to palm himself through his newly tightened jeans. 

Okay, Rafe has definitely jerked off to the thought of you, your smell…everything about you makes him lose whatever control he ever even had to begin with. Something he hasn’t gotten to do yet is jerk off with you right in front of him as a live viewing source, fresh for his eyes. He’s gonna be able to cross that off the bucket list soon enough; he can’t wait any longer. His hand stops its ministrations over his jeans as his head turns and he moves over to your closet, grabbing a pair of delicate, worn panties from the top of your laundry hamper. He brings the treasure up to his nose to smell you. God, he could cream his fucking pants right now. He quietly walks back over to you, taking a look at the pill bottle on your nightstand. He picks it up with his free hand, eyes quickly scanning over the label. He smirks as he sets it back down. Rafe turns his head to look back at you. His smirk grows even wider as he leans back, cocking his head as he observes you. Yeah, you’re definitely gonna be out for a while.

With his pants and boxers around his ankles, he stands over you. Your panties between his hand and his cock as his fist slowly pumps up and down his length. His other hand meticulously pulls your shirt up to reveal your chest.

“Fuckkk…” he whispers under his breath as his bottom lip is held captive between his teeth. Your perfect tits are spilling out of your bra as you lie asleep on your back. He lightly fiddles with the ends of your hair as his hand pumps over his dick repeatedly and without rhythm. He takes his time, Rafe never likes to rush this. Especially not with you.

Your subconscious mind reacts to his light touch and sounds, pulling you into a wet dream; seeing as a main side effect of the medication you took was vivid dreams. You’ve also been unusually horny lately, probably because you’d been too afraid to touch yourself when you thought you were being watched twenty-four/seven. His fingers trail up your stomach and into the valley of your breasts with feather light touch.

You stir a bit, not because you felt him, but because the dream you’ve been thrown into by your subconscious is starting to get your body all worked up. You’ve been extra horny recently and keep having sex dreams since you haven’t been able to touch yourself the past few weeks, having a stalker and all. As he leans down to lightly kiss the skin in between your boobs, a moan slips past his lips, vibrating off of your skin and interrupting the mostly silent room. The only other sound that can be heard in the quiet room is that caused by Rafe’s hand quickly moving up and down his cock; the friction caused by the soft fabric of your panties generates a quiet noise. Pre-cum leaks from his slit and seeps into the fabric of your recently worn panties. He leans back down to create a hickey on your chest and hopes that you won’t wake up from the sudden feeling, although if you did that might be even better. Shaking the selfish thought out of his head, he sucks strongly at the smooth skin between your beautiful tits. He pulls his mouth off with a pop! Leaning back to see the mark he left, he smirks knowing you’ll see it too eventually. The already rhythmless movements of his hand gets even more erratic the closer he gets to reaching his orgasm. 

The man standing above you runs his hand back down your chest and abdomen as you sleep. Completely unaware of what's happening to your physical body right now, you begin to get all wrapped up in your dream. You only ever get sex dreams when you’re so overly horny, which you’ve been the past few weeks. That combined with the sleeping medication you took, made this particular dream feel different; it felt so…real. The only dream-like part about it was that you couldn’t see the man's face for whatever reason. 

While you’re in a deep sleep, you involuntarily let out a needy whine as your active mind plays games with you. When Rafe hears you he thinks he imagined it, until he hears you do it again. He wonders if you could feel him, except he’s not even touching you right now. Realizing that's clearly not the reason, he furrows his brows in confusion. He pulls the duvet cover completely off of you to reveal the way you keep periodically squirming as your body searches for the same feeling your mind is experiencing; and the way your toes tighten up and curl as you’re tricked into thinking you feel pleasure. 

He can’t take it, not when you look like this. The man hovering over your unconscious figure lets out a lewd moan that corrupts the silence as hot strings of his cum spurt out of the pink, glistening tip of his cock and onto the pair of your panties that he's got clenched in his fist, immediately soaking into the fabric. Surprisingly, when he gets through his orgasm, he adoringly covers you back up with your blankets and leaves your house, locking the door he entered through to be sure you were safe. He got enough to satisfy him for now as he works on a plan to change the way you think of him.  He’ll be back for more of you soon enough. He has to fix this; the biggest mistake he’s ever made and the only regret he’ll ever carry. 

To be continued...

Thank you for reading! I hope this was enjoyable and not a waste of time. I spent a lot of time on this part, especially with the editing since I never really feel done with anything. If you have literally ANY feedback, questions, or suggestions, PLEASE feel free to let me know! I don't really have any solid plans for this fic so if you have any ideas I just might include them, there's not much I won't write!

I'd like to thank @faiszt for inspiring me to write this fic!

[cheersyouslxg]

╰┈➤ 💀 Ghost 💀 Word count: 2k ish? ┆ ┆ MDNI - 18+┆ ┆ »»———- "I like you in those clothes, but I think I’d like you better in nothing at all." ———-««

»»———-  ”I just can’t control myself around you… especially when you’re wearing that”———-«« Triggers: Smut, mentions of ghosts past (trauma and SA briefly) ⊹ Comments, feedback, thoughts and reblogs are encouraged! ⊹

He didn’t come home for long, so any time you were able to spend with him was cherished. Even if he wasn’t always the most affectionate, it was impossible not to tell that Ghost had his own ways of showing his adoration for you. All it took was an open mind and some patience to start noticing the little gems of his appreciation. 

Touch had always been a trigger for him for something you didn’t know the origin of. All you knew was that his past was a haunted house of memories he did not wish to ever open the door on… so you left it alone, already knowing the doorknob would not budge if you even tried. It was better to ignore in the long run anyways, less of a chance to hurt your feelings as if you thought of yourself higher than Ghost’s opinion. He didn’t trust people easily… That was all you needed to know- all you were allowed to know. You had also learned very quickly that touching him without warning was a sure fire way of having him shut down and exit the room you were in. 

That didn’t mean he couldn’t touch you… No, he enjoyed it very much. It was just another factor reminding him the already obvious sentiment that he had every right to you. You trusted him wholly, completely, and in some futile attempt to gain his trust- you put out every green flag you had in your arsenal to scream at him that you had no plans to hurt him or break the trust you asked for. It was a snail race but a race you had no intention of not finishing. Eventually, you would prove to him that you were worthy of letting into his life further.

In the meantime, you were content to continue planting your seeds, brick by brick building the foundation of this relationship. When he was gone, you waited for him to return, picking up the habit of sleeping in his clothing to trick your brain into thinking he was next to you in bed as the scent of his shirts mingled in the sheets you had been forced to wash far too long than recommended but you couldn’t bare the thought of your bed not smelling like him. When he was home, you loved every second he spent with you, even if it wasn’t the most ideal relationship to others. You knew he was trying. That was enough. 

He’d been home for a week, but you still found his shirt to replace your day clothes after your shower. Besides it being compulsory, you had every intention of once again convincing your boyfriend to touch you, to have the hardened stare of a ghost melt when ogling over your frame. It wasn’t hard to do, but the effort was worth it even if he’d have you bent over the kitchen table on any given day wearing a potato sack. It was a dress which fell just past your backend, teasing the only other person in the house with a peek of your rump when you lifted your arms too much. Underneath were panties he favored for the little fabric covering what was rightfully his to have. To say you were prepared to face the consequences of your own actions was absolutely right. In fact, you were counting on submitting to these consequences. 

His eyes immediately snapped to the silent entrance from the bathroom to the bedroom. It was impossible to sneak up on him, and you’d given up on trying long ago. It only assisted how safe you felt in your home, especially when he was there to protect you. He was already in bed, prepared to look for a movie you both could watch together (well, mostly you. He never enjoyed movies much. They were always so tedious in his opinion. But being next to you in the same room was enough to stare at a screen for two hours.). You climbed in next to him, noting the way his eyes lingered over the drifting fabric of his shirt over your thighs, flashing him as you got comfortable underneath the covers. He wasn’t the only one who had learned how to read expressions… and with the mask his eyes were all you had to go off of. 

“Whatcha thinking tonight? Comedy? Thriller?” You snatched the remote from the bedside table, loading Netflix onto the screen while he shrugged. You already knew his answer, and you chimed in as well as he said, ‘Whatever you want.’ His gaze locked the side of your face, and you turned to give him a cheeky smile. His brow raised, nodding slowly. 

“Alright, alright…” He mumbled, reaching for your hand to retrieve the device. “I’ll pick then, yeah?” The normally dead tone in his voice was resurrected with a dry sarcasm, only pulling the corners of your lips into a bigger grin. 

“Oh, I dunno… What if I don’t like what you pick, Si? Doubt you know any good genres with how little you spend watching films. It’s all I do, so I have good taste.” 

He looked unimpressed with your answer, leaning in closer. Still with the remote in his hand, he pinched the fabric of your shirt with a soft tug, eyes flicking down and back up. “I like you in those clothes, but I think I’d like you better in nothing at all. What does that say about my taste, lovie?” He whispered. You swallowed, the butterflies he’d grown in your belly since the first night you met him flaring up and beating their wings against its walls.

“Smells like you. I wear them when you’re gone.” Your voice had dropped to the same octave as his, glancing down to the mask covering his lips. He hummed, head dipping in an acknowledging nod. 

“Well, I’m here now. You don’t need it.” the remote was dropped somewhere in the mess of sheets, his hand purchasing the hem of the shirt and sliding up your thigh. Warmth flooded your body, whining softly as it slid over your hip, the other coming to collect the opposite side and lift it up and over your head. You didn’t fight it, wanting the shirt to find home on the floor since you put it on your body. As much as you craved the heat against your palms, you refrained yet from touching him, clutching the sheets beside you. 

“Lift your mask. Please, I want a kiss.” As close as you could inch without touching him, you did, pleading with a begging gaze that met his own once he moved his attention from your bare chest to your eyes.

 Brown eyes narrowed only slightly, his shoulders relaxing. “Go ahead, sweetheart. Gimme a kiss then.” Ghost’s head tilted back, exposing his neck further to allow you to (very carefully) curl the mask over his mouth. You never touched flesh until leaning in to meet his lips, melting into his touch as he pulled your hips closer into him. In all the best ways he reminded you how much he desired you while being the one to always initiate contact. He wanted you with every fiber of his being, and he expressed that every chance he felt comfortable to do so. 

He was a gentle lover at heart, never wanting to ever have to take responsibility for hurting you in ways that so many had hurt him. He’d mentioned briefly something in his past resulting in having issues with hurting you in any way. It was endearing the way he went into detail to explain how if he ever went too far to tell him immediately and he would stop. That had never happened, and you were sure it never would, especially with how eager he was to take hold of the back of your thigh and guide you onto your back and invite himself between your legs. His kiss never ceased, only moving from your lips across your jaw and down your neck. Each kiss sparked another, more hungry one until his mouth was a burning fire roaring across your melting, willing flesh to be devoured by him.

It almost surprised you when he reached for your hand, circling your wrist gently as he gave attention to your chest with chaste kisses, guiding your fingertips to his shoulder. This was his way of silently giving permission to touch him. You’d learned his weak spots, placing he tended to freeze up when you attempted to touch there, and these spots were where you avoided. His shoulders were a neutral zone, though treading lower towards his ribs was diving straight into red where he would immediately withdraw the moment was ruined. You’d only had to make that mistake once to never do it again. Instead, you dug your nails into corded muscle as his mouth circled your nipple, tongue laving over the hardening bud. He knew the whine you emitted would come, knowing you better than you knew yourself and how to make you come undone under his touch. His hips were greedily seeking friction against dampened fabric, grinding his bulge covered in sweatpants with a muffled groan. 

A hand smoothed over the back of his neck, slowly moving to not spook him as you kept his mouth on your breast. “God, please, Simon…” you moaned hotly, rolling your hips with as much enthusiasm as he offered, gritting your teeth as he chuckled. Of course it could never be that easy… He was nothing if not a massive fucking tease. One hand rolled your nipple not assaulted by his lips between his fingers, the other trailing slowly round your thigh to curl around the fabric resting against your hips, tugging at the material to prompt you to lift your hips and discard them. 

“S’not fair, Si…” you whined, completely nude in front of him when he still was fully clothed, praying tonight wasn’t an evening when he decided to not let you see him in all his painfully well-built glory. Control was something he enjoyed thoroughly. Leaving you vulnerable while he removed nothing more than his cock from his pants was a way in which he gained a tighter grip on the situation. 

Tonight he pitied your sweet cries, pulling away from your chest long enough to discard the fabric on his shoulders. Each time it was marvel just how much of his flesh was adorned with raised scar tissue. You’d spend hours kissing each one if he would have allowed you, though you knew better than to explore too far from the safe zones. Nails dragged slowly across his shoulders, reaching as far as you could across his back only to retreat and begin again. Never would you waste a chance to feel him more intimately. 

It didn’t take much more whining and begging from you to have Ghost fully nude with bodies pressed tightly together as you welcomed him between your legs. With his long distant missions ranging from a week to months, his resolve lasted only as long as any man’s would with a prolonged period of abstinence keeping them from their partner. His girth stretched you deliciously every single time he had his way with you, hot needy whimpers spurring him on as he offered you a few breaths to adjust to his size.  

It was a short lived adjustment, his patience wearing thin with the urge to claim and mark what was his. Ghost praised each moan you gifted him with kisses and groping hands holding tightly to your hips as he drilled into you unabashedly. The neighbors down the block would know his name solely from your cries, wrapping your legs around his waist in a futile attempt to slow down his driving pace. Once Simon was set on his ways, it was impossible to deprive him of completion, especially when his eyes were clouded with lust. 

 ”I just can’t control myself around you… especially when you’re wearing that” he murmured into your ear, hot breath fanning your neck he nipped and marked with indents of his teeth. It was a show of possession, something you would use again and again if you promised each consequence to equal the pleasure building in the pit of your stomach. 

“Fuck, Si, please….” Each beg drove his rhythm faster and deeper almost as if he was intent to splinter the bed beneath you. Rough hands sought your thighs, lifting your legs how he wished towards your chest to offer him a better position to fill you further, dragging his cock repeatedly within your walls, hitting every mark no man could ever dream of replicating. Simon was one of a kind, the only one who could make you feel so dirty yet so adored at once. 

“That’s it… good girl… squeeze my cock just like that.” Ghost’s voice rasped, stalling thrusts announcing how close he was to finishing. His hand dipped between your bodies becoming one, thumb feathering against your swollen bundles of nerves to make sure you came before he did. You couldn’t recall a time where you didn’t cum before Simon unless it was a punishment for acting like a brat… But even so, you were never left unsatisfied. “Almost there, little bunny? I want you to cum for me. You can do that for me, eh? I know you can.” His smirk was heard within his cocky drawl, eyes hidden from your view as he marked your chest with blooming flowers of purple.

He overwhelmed every sense and nerve within your body, the tight bundle of pressure inflating and driving you up towards the crest. When he spoke again you were thrusted over the edge with a single command, his husked tone and lips meeting yours to inhale your moans of pleasure sending you in a spiral. You came, and he was soon to follow, just like he always was. He was there through it all, soothing your spasming body with an ear full of praises and gentle caresses down your thighs. As you came down from your high you made a mental note to wear his clothing more often.

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 43 - The Dream Mixer

Instead of opening windows, these guys open the front door.

Man, I sure hope this leads to nothing bad happening during the Wakfu OVA.

Joris has multiple of the same card. Probably not worth reading into, and just a way to not have to do too much work for some intern. I wonder what he was playing, though...

I do want to read into this, though, this doesn't really look like a playing card we've seen before in the series, — instead, looking more like tarot, especially with the way, in the second screenshot, it seems to have some writings on the top and the bottom, — its number and its name?

I want to preface this next section by saying it is very likely not the intention, for this to be Deep, or anything. It's just some cards that look the same. Unlike most times when I am reading into things with at least a bit of a solid proof that things are meant to be read into, here I am reading into things just for the fun of it:

This personally looks to me the most like The Tower tarot, and basically, here's what the internet has to say on the matter:

When The Tower card appears in a Tarot reading, expect the unexpected – massive change, upheaval, destruction and chaos. It may be a divorce, death of a loved one, financial failure, health problems, natural disaster, job loss or any event that shakes you to your core, affecting you spiritually, mentally and physically. There’s no escaping it. Change is here to tear things up, create chaos and destroy everything in its path (but trust me, it’s for your Highest Good). Just when you think you’re safe and comfortable, a Tower moment hits and throws you for a loop. A lightning bolt of clarity and insight cuts through the lies and illusions you have been telling yourself, and now the truth comes to light. Your world may come crashing down before you, in ways you could never have imagined as you realize that you have been building your life on unstable foundations – false assumptions, mistruths, illusions, blatant lies, and so on. Everything you thought to be true has turned on its head. You are now questioning what is real and what is not; what you can rely upon and what you cannot trust. This can be very confusing and disorienting, especially when your core belief systems are challenged. But over time, you will come to see that your original beliefs were built on a false understanding, and your new belief systems are more representative of reality. [...] After a Tower experience, you will grow stronger, wiser and more resilient as you develop a new perspective on life you did not even know existed. These moments are necessary for your spiritual growth and enlightenment, and truth and honesty will bring about a positive change, even if you experience pain and anxiety throughout the process.

Jesus fucking Christ. even while I'm spitballing, the things I am saying still make some amount of sense. Anyway, even though it is an accidental visual, I sure hope Joris being surrounded by The Tower looking ass cards isn't like, an omen of doom to come in like two years.

Haha.

This line is pretty interesting when you remember that one of Kerubim's whole insecurities was being too poor for her, but what follows is more interesting: in his dream, there is always an audience, made up of other Ecaflips.

Watching from the same fourth wall we do.

We had already discussed on this blog that Kerubim has always viewed his life as a performance to some invisible audience, due to his extremely low self-esteem: a performance of being a hero, a masculine man, a successful rich person, and more, — but now we can really confirm this, and see it for ourselves, instead of just making assumptions based on his behaviour.

I do wonder if the audience being ecaflips is just asset reusage, — or if it is him feeling especially judged by his own race?

Perhaps it is the need to live up to its standards. Or maybe, it is a memory of his isolation in the childhood, and the way everyone always watched him and laughed at his class clown antics, and how despite that, he didn't have any friends.

This episode is the other reason, — besides his reactions whenever she kisses his cheek, — why I think Kerubim has a bit of a crush on Simone. (One that he'll never act on or acknowledge, obviously. He's not Like That anymore.)

But he used to be like that. Just unabashedly and openly cheating on Lou.

This imaginary audience laughs at his jokes, laughs at his accidents, and laughs even at his most awful flirting.

Yes, he really was always playing an exaggerated version of himself, and imagining the world laughing at him, as if he were in a sitcom. That's... actually very sad.

Not even cheering him on? Just laughing?

Considering what I had already previously said about Joris, and just how anxious he is portrayed as being, — especially of something happening to Kerubim, — it's interesting that his whole dream is an endless race to prevent some catastrophe that is never explained, but one he is convinced will happen.

Yes, it is just a fun dream that's him being a hero, but there is something to be said about the cyclical, triumphless nature of it.

This entire shore is covered in items from the store, and might be either Kerubim's addition to the shared dreamscape, or a representation of the shared experiences of the three dreamers.

The storm reflects the fact that none of them can find what they're seeking, and the growing anxiety that comes with it.

Despite him flirting with other women, Lou's scorn, Lou's accusation that he'll never be good enough because he can't become a good person, is a big fear for him.

I think that Lou is both a memory, and a representation of Kerubim's thoughts on the way he used to be, — or at least that is the image that the positioning of old Kerubim behind Lou invokes in me.

He hates himself, or at least who he used to be. These words are both something he thinks about himself, and something he thinks Lou would say.

Keke... Can you find this sadidette again, and check her sources?

Because all the sites I check say lily represents growth of beautiful from bad conditions, and also reincarnation. Which totally doesn't remind me of another weird fucking green-white thing in this show.

I want to know more about its sex symbolism instead, cat man!

Anyway, French-speaking readers, — I implore your help in the next post I make: this episode has some reversed audio, during the reversed boat scene, and I'll post it for you to analyse. I had wondered what it said for ages.

This line suggests that consciousness is fluid within the dream, — which answers the question of "which Kerubim is real and which one is a dream construct" that I've had with a very likely "both are real, and represent his different qualities of his character."

This also suggests, that my assumption, that the dream Joris is having is based on his high levels of anxiety he has, is probably correct, — and seemingly affecting Simone's and Kerubim's mental states too.

Joris seems so much like his adult self in this scene, — or so it seems to me. Very pretty.

Also pretty poetic, considering most of his actions as an adult are still fueled by the desire to be Awesome, and his definition of Awesome hasn't changed since he was 7.

THE best flash frames of the whole series.

Screenshots alone don't do this scene justice, so here it is.

There is a lot to unpack here. This is the closest we get to insight into Kerubim's real feelings in the current time, instead of his memories of the past, bad or good.

The thing he loves the most about her is her hair. Which brings to mind the happiest time of young Kerubim's life and their relationship, after he left kitty psych ward.

The line of "I will never have the time to caress them all" can have many different meanings. But the most glaring one to me, is...

She will die before him, and he had, likely, always known that. It was something he could ignore when they were young, but as an old man, who knows what will happen after he dies (not true death, that's for sure, he is not like her), and as someone who has likely seen other people his age die, — the possibility that she might not even be alive due to how many years had passed, is haunting.

And the possibility that he wasted all these years he could have spent with her, the possibility that he might be wasting them even now, if she is alive, is just as bad.

And the saddest thing is that he can't even see the old woman she became. He can only remember her as she was back then.

Would he even recognize her on the street?

This scene begins with the same sad melody as the scene of him missing Lou, but descends into discordant horrific sounds, despite how... comedic it seems. The same way Kerubim's other stupid antics are.

Because consciousness is fluid in this dream, and because Simone was playing the role of Kerubim's audience, — I think Simone and Kerubim are both mad here, with Kerubim's feelings influencing Simone's words, the same way Joris's influenced her in the previous scenes.

Joris doesn't look very happy about this dream anymore. Yet another proof for my hypothesis of this being an anxiety dream, even if by the time he wakes up, he thinks it's a cool one.

Remember what I said during episodes 33 (Noffoub's Fountain) and 35 (the gobbal set) about Joris's anxiety and dislike of change?

Being forced to go to bed is anxiety inducing for Joris, — he knows that it just means that the adults want him out of the way, that they don't want to spend time with him, — and he hates it when the routine changes, because it makes everything unpredictable, with is horrible to his little single-child-with-an-elderly-parent-who-keeps-saying-he'll-die-soon brain.

Haha. Yeah... Anyway.

Like in english, the french word rêve might mean both the dreams one sees at night, and one's hopes and aspirations.

...I don't think he is talking about the first kind here.

[justalittleb-witchy]

Collective reading

Felt like doing a reading, just for fun. Take what resonates, leave what doesn't.

To start off, the image I saw/felt was: A yellow star with rounded edges. Very specifically with a rubber-like texture. Something pleasing to chew on. Probably something that would be nostalgic to the person, was possibly on some sort of necklace, like those chew stims people buy, but it doesn't feel like it was intended for that purpose.

Primary/most important card: Ace of pentacles

Description (some things are direct quotes from the deck's guidebook, others are things I added. Items in quotes are things I "heard".): Abundance, manifestation, prosperity, investments, impact. Ask and you shall receive

An upcoming opportunity, with the vibe of "A bird in your hand is worth two in the bush-- and you will have a bird in your hand." Personally valuable opportunity-- not as in monetary value, despite the card's suit, but as in "involving things you personally value, accomplishments and achievements." Ideas are brewing with potential and possibilities for the future, attracting new resources for a new venture. Use common sense. Other cards: (reversed) nine of swords, (upright)king of swords, (reversed) three of wands.

(reversed) nine of swords:

Heard: "Previous struggles"

Description: The upright meaning includes the phrase "a living nightmare, thinking about worst-case scenarios, scenarios playing over and over, anxiety, shadows. Acknowledge yourself", which feels important despite pulling the card in reverse. The parts of the reversed meaning that felt important are: "Managing your thoughts and emotions. Throughout your experiences, you've come to realize that everything will ultimately be okay. Anxiety will arise from time to time, and you will most certainly be faced with stressful situations, but you now have the tools to deal with them. It's easy to let your thoughts run away from you, but not if it is causing you unnecessary anxiety and worry. Separating yourself from your thoughts is a healthy choice to make"(obligatory: not in a dissociative way, but more in a "you don't need to give in to fear" way) "Let go of your ego's control" lowkey feels like ego death. And just live. "be you as you are" unapologetically. "Feel the spectrum of emotions, you have the tools to deal with them now."

Based on this, I feel like the upcoming opportunity may feel emotionally overwhelming, and/or that you may feel you don't deserve it. The type of misery/fear that causes you to curl up in a ball and dissociate a little.

(reversed)Three of wands:

Description: "Persistence", in terms of effort you put forth, feels like an important take away from the upright meaning. The reversed feels like its specifically your fears/what you fear regarding this.

-Poor planning

-obstacles

-frustrations

-blocks along the way/stepping stones that trip you and slow you down

-time wasted

-shaky foundations (probably related to the fear you don't deserve it, might be an education-level, experience-level, or intellect-based fear

Advice: "grand vision", "watch", "take tiny steps", "achieve"

Result: (upright)king of swords

Description: Put-together (eventually). The powerful/prideful feeling of wearing a suit (if that makes sense). "Dignity and authority" (Not as in leadership but as in experience and competence). "High" (pedestal? not sure what that word means out of context, doubt its referring to weed). "Thriving", "convincing", "strong". It feels like you should google the meaning of this card yourself for more personal oomph.

If this resonates and you were asking for a sign, hope it helps. If you weren't or it didn't resonate, some generic advice:

Most people feel incompetent at some point or another, but "no one gets things perfect on the first try" (hyperbolic-ly, I am sure some people do). Trying and learning are incredible skills to have, especially if you pick up on things quickly. When you're unsure about things, take a week to start learning it. Give yourself that week to be as bad at it as you need to be. If you still feel bad about it after that week and you don't want to continue, you've got free will and don't have to. You can even give up way before then. But if it doesn't make you miserable, its important to try and not immediately be cruel to yourself for trying. Everyone starts somewhere. Obviously you shouldn't be cruel to yourself in general, but sometimes giving yourself permission to be bad at something for x amount of time makes it less overwhelming to start doing/trying that thing. Disclaimer that a lot of skills, like art, take wayyyy more than a week. The week is just kind of to decide whether or not you like and can stomach the learning process, if that makes sense.

[complicatedchelsea]

Fallen Through Time For You

Chapter Eleven: Is It Illegal If She Deserved It?

Masterlist:

(gif not mine)

(Sydney's POV)

It was three weeks later that Murray called.

In those three weeks we had all fallen into some sort of routine. When Eddie was at school, I either spent the day with Steve or Hopper or even Joyce if she wasn’t working. Wayne was appreciative that I valued his sleep and didn’t want to bother him during the day, but when he was off, we spent time together too. The days at the station, Steve’s house, or even with Joyce weren’t as nerve wracking as they first were. They truly cared and asked for little in return. Joyce was like the mother I never had, accepting me with open arms and always making sure I had something to eat. Hopper was a little more rough around the edges, but he was another parental figure in my life. He provided stability and after reiterating what occurred at the store, he was quick to promise that nothing like that would ever happen again under his watch. Steve? Steve was quick to become one of my closest friends here. The bond we shared was different, just like he had mentioned. ‘Siblings that only saw of each other through cracks in the foundation’, and I felt like that matched us. Maybe that’s what we were in a different lifetime. 

I was more comfortable around everyone now. It was like we all had collectively decided that while I was a mess, no one was treating me differently. The kids were very entertaining to be around, but God did they have questions. Some that I couldn’t even answer. Dustin was the most curious, and I swear he spent most of his time with me trying to get useful information. He was a very curious person, and it was an added bonus to see the way he interacted with Eddie and Steve. The bond that they shared with him was nothing I had ever witnessed. One minute Steve could be bitching at Dustin’s tone, and the next making sure he wasn’t hurt from a fight with Mike. 

Max was another one I was surprised about getting close to. The rides to school and back with her let me into some more insight about what happened to her over spring break, and why she never seemed to go anywhere without her walkman. She was a firecracker, but had a heart of gold and knew exactly what to say when she saw me getting overwhelmed. We were all over at Steve’s for a movie night when Mike broke a plate. I had flinched and with just one look at me she knew what I was thinking and pulled me to the side. She fell asleep on my lap that night during a movie, and when I smiled up at Eddie, I don’t think my heart ever felt so full. 

Eddie, well Eddie was everything. He was serious, after his talk that day he went beyond any effort he had made previously. It was like all stipulations had disappeared on his side; he was touchier than ever and way more vocal in his praises. It was getting easier for me too, and every time I reached out first for affection, he’d give me his million-dollar smile. It was so easy to let myself be loved by him. And any time I would worry about how much effort he was putting in and how I wasn’t worth it, he’d shut me up with a look and promise that he would do this everyday for the rest of our lives if needed. Even though I think he hadn’t said the words yet for my sake, I could feel them with everything he did. 

It was Sunday night, which meant no Wayne and no interruptions. With everyone constantly checking in, it was hard to get some alone time with Eddie. Especially with him trying to graduate this year, he’d come home and do homework or work on the campaign and then crash. Not that I was complaining, a sleepy Eddie was very affectionate and it always made up for missing him during the day. He’d pull me close, thumb brushing against our soulmarks in the darkness of his room. It was so easy to melt into him, letting him protect me from everything outside those four walls. 

The fabric of the couch was itchy beneath my arms as Eddie laid on top of me. His weight was something I had gotten used to over the weeks, always wanting to be in contact with me in any way possible. I was the one that pulled him on top of me one night, wanting to feel the comfort of his weight on top of me and he must have liked it because he took every opportunity to lean up against me.  He was using one arm to prop himself up and his fingers tracing patterns on my bare arm, while his other hand was being used to trace light lines on my face. With every movement of his fingers, it left behind a static feeling that had my face flushing. Eddie’s face was flushed, a dazed smile on his face with his hair falling out of the lazy bun he had put it in when he got on top of me. My hands were splayed against his chest, my eyes closing at the intimacy of his actions. When his touch left my face, I opened my eyes to see that he had leaned closer, his eyes flickering down to my lips. 

This was finally it. This is when he was going to actually kiss me. I closed my eyes as he leaned down and just as I could feel his breath against my face…

The phone rang. 

“Jesus H. Christ,” Eddie muttered as I opened my eyes. His face had flushed darker and he pushed himself up so he was sitting on his heels. The force of his eye roll had me giggling as his eyes softened. “Do I really need to get that?”

I sat up on my elbows, giving him a nudge with my knee. “It could be important?”

He groaned again and sent me a look as he tumbled off the couch towards the phone. “Munson residence. You better have a damn good reason for calling.”

“Eddie!” I laughed as I sat all the way up and he waved a hand at me. 

Eddie’s facial expression changed from annoyance to curiosity. “Let me get her.” He rested the phone against his chest. “It’s Murray. He wants to speak to you.”

I crossed the room quickly to take the phone from Eddie. He stood next to me, arm wrapped around me as he lowered his head next to mine to try and hear our conversation. “Murray?”

“Sydney!” Murray’s excited phone came from across the line. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, child!”

I sent a questioning glance to Eddie, his expression mirroring mine. After our initial meeting, Hopper explained to me that Murray is overly cautious. Claiming that the government is listening in on our phone calls after everything with the Upside Down. That if Murray had anything to say to me, it would be in riddles and half-truths until we met back up in person. 

“Indeed it has,” I let out a soft laugh. “You miss me already?”

“I have those family photos you asked me to find,” Murray said in response. “The ones that your Mom didn’t let you leave with? Do you think I can drop by tomorrow and deliver them in person? We could get lunch and catch up?”

“Sure,” I said as Eddie moved a hand to rub down my back. “You want to invite Uncle Hop and make it a family affair?”

“Always, kid.” Murray replied. “You’ll tell him when you see him?”

“Of course.”

“See you tomorrow, kiddo.”

The line disconnected in true Murray fashion, leaving me slightly confused as Eddie hung the phone back up. “What was that about?”

“Murray wants to bring me some family photos?” I questioned. “Which is ridiculous because I wasn’t in an-”

I stopped. “The documents. The ones that he faked, they must be ready.”

“Already?” Eddie asked as he pulled me to his chest. 

I shrugged under his arms. “I guess. That’s why he’s gotta be back in town. I’ll tell Hopper in the morning when you drop me at the station.”

“Do you want me to skip so I can be with you?” Eddie asked, starting to sway us to a tune that he could only hear. 

I shook my head. Since that last altercation, I really hadn’t been in public that much, less with Eddie. We kept our appearances to a minimum for my sake, not ready for someone else to approach us. “You need to be in class.”

Eddie groaned. “Sweetheart, one day isn’t going to matter.”

“Shh,” I said as I leaned up to pat his check. “I’ll be fine. When we get home you can see my new family tree.”

Eddie sighed and looked over my head to the clock hanging on the opposite wall. “It’s getting late, do you want to head to bed?”

I snorted. “You mean hide under the covers and whisper to each other until we fall asleep?”

He sent me my favorite smile. “I knew you were made for me.”

Monday’s were always spent at the station with Hopper. His excuse was that I made his day more tolerable, but I also knew that it was his slowest day and if I wasn’t there he would be snoozing at his desk. Eddie dropped me off with a kiss to the cheek and drum solo blaring out his speakers. I waited until he drove away with El to broach the subject with Hopper. 

“So Murray called last night.”

Hopper raised his eyebrows from where he was trying to light his cigarette. “He called you? About the documents?”

I raised my eyebrows. “You know the documents are ready?”

Hopper shrugged and exhaled a cloud of smoke. “He called Joyce to invite her out to the lunch you were supposed to tell me about.”

I smirked. “How do you know he called Joyce last night?”

Hopper glared down at me. “I’m not allowed to spend time at the Byers house?”

“It sounds like you had an ulterior motive, Uncle Hop.” I said with a laugh and moved out of the way as he swatted at me. “You making night house calls now?”

“Shut your mouth.” He pointed a finger at me. “You’re just as bad as El.”

I shrugged and tried to conceal a smile. 

We left for the diner a lot earlier than we needed to, Hopper saying that if he heard Callahan’s annoying voice one more time he was going to lock him in a cell. Joyce was waiting for us outside the diner, sitting on one of the wooden benches with a magazine in hand. 

“Hey!” Joyce leaned forward to hug me as we got closer, her hugs always making me feel more grounded. “You’re early.”

“Well, so are you.” Hopper said as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. He sent me a warning look when he stood back up, and I just smiled and pretended to look elsewhere. 

“Murray claims he’s going to be on time but he never is,” Joyce teased as she guided me to sit back beside her on the bench. “That man only runs on his time.”

“But he told you why he was coming?” I asked. 

She squeezed my shoulders. “After today you will officially have a paper-trail following you to Hawkins. That way no one can raise any questions about where you come from.” Her eyebrows furrowed for a second. “Is anyone else giving you trouble?”

I sent Hopper a look and he raised his hands. “Don’t look at me. Blame the kids. How do you think Eddie reacted about that day at the grocery store? Of course the kids were gonna be worried.”

“No,” I said and twisted my fingers in my lap. Maybe I should have had Eddie come with me today. “I really haven't given anyone the chance to either.”

“Sweetie,” Joyce said as she pulled me into a side hug. “You can’t just shut yourself up like that.”

Before I could answer her, Murray made his presence known by dropping his bag in Hopper’s lap and reached down to hug Joyce. “Ah, my favorite adults. How are we doing on this cloudy day?”

“Murray,” Hopper said in amusement with an eye roll. “Looks like you actually made it in time.”

“Hey,” Murray drew back like he was offended. “Since I saved your ass in Russia I have been nothing but on time.”

Joyce laughed and tugged me off the bench to follow her inside. We tried to be discreet by choosing a booth in the back, but there weren’t very many people dining in the first place. Murray waited until the waitress took our orders before sliding a folder my way. 

“You are officially Sydney Thompson from a small town no one has heard about in Montana. Your “mother” is the only one listed on your birth certificate but I have an official document here putting you in Jim’s care.”

He wasn’t wrong. There were many documents in that folder, including information on a bank account in my name. I picked it up and let Joyce look over it as I glanced back at Murray. “What is this?”

Murray smiled. “It’s a welcome to the party gift. Don’t go crazy, I didn’t put very much in it, but at least you have something to your name now. It’s completely ours, but now you have roots here.” 

“You mean we didn’t put much in there.” Joyce laughed as she moved the folder out the way when the waitress came with our food. “Stop trying to take credit for what we all did.”

I felt my throat get tight and looked around the adults at the table. “Thank you.”

Murray cleared his throat. “I don’t do well with tears, maybe just get me a good bottle of vodka and we’ll call it even?”

When lunch ended, Murray followed Joyce and I followed Hopper. We didn’t make it very far from the diner before Hopper stopped me. He glanced down at the folder in my hands and beckoned it over and I gave it without a fight. It was a few good minutes of him looking over some of the paperwork before he shut it with a snap and handed it back to me. Before I could take it, his grip tightened on the corner in his hand. 

“Are you okay with this?” Hopper asked me. “I know that we talked about this being a temporary solution, but now it’s official. Are you still okay with being tied to me?”

I cocked my head. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Hopper looked around us to point out the obvious, the stares that he was getting from the nosy people of Hawkins. The stares that I knew he was getting every time he went out in public, how they ranged from sympathy when he was with El, to the anger some people had of him back in the police uniform. 

“Hop,” I let out a sigh and refocused on him. “My father was never around much and when he was, he was a drunk asshole who wanted to tell everyone what a mistake it was to have a daughter. In my time here you’ve been more of a father to me than that man has been in my twenty years of life. And if you don’t want me thinking of you that way, then th-”

Hopper didn’t let me finish as he pulled me into a tight hug. The folder was awkwardly squashed between us and I had to stand on my toes to properly hug him back, but it was one of the best hugs I had ever got. 

When he stepped back, a heavy hand squeezed my shoulder. “I’d be honored if you thought of me like that. I meant what I said that day, I always take in strays.”

I laughed and that was that. No more hesitation on my side. The found family that I discovered was amazing and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. And when Eddie and I got home that night and showed Wayne the documents, I got another fatherly hug from Wayne that leveled right up there with Hopper’s. Why would I ever want to go back? 

_______________________________________________

“I just don’t get why you have to buy the Eggo brand, Steve.” Robin said as she shut the freezer door behind Steve. “It’s not like she’s going to taste the difference.”

“Robin,” Steve glared at her from across the shopping cart. “Please don’t start this again. I’m always gonna give El what she wants. If she wants Eggos, I can buy her some Eggos.”

“Yeah, Buckley.” Eddie chimed in from where he was swinging our joined hands, us watching them argue over what each other was putting in the cart. “Just like the difference between Red Vines and Twizzlers. They are both licorice, are you saying they taste the same?”

“Fuck off, Munson” Robin said, not unkindly as she pushed the cart forward. “Why are we friends with you again?”

Currently Robin, Steve, Eddie, and I were making a snack run to Bradleys. We were having a movie night tomorrow and Steve couldn’t not have the right snacks in his house. After hangry kids and an ‘accidental’ breaking of a picture in Steve’s hallway, we weren’t going to risk it. This was also the first time being out with Eddie since the incident, and having both Robin and Steve there really helped my anxiety. 

It also helped that Eddie didn’t let go of my hand. But Robin had something to say about that too.

She watched as Eddie twirled me the middle of the frozen isle, the music playing throughout the story was too low to hear, but Eddie was a man that always moved to his own beat. I laughed as he spun me back to him, tripping slightly as I landed against his chest. 

“Bleh,” Robin said with a smile as she looked over at Steve who was studying the list he had compiled. “Is this what we have to look forward to?”

I heard Steve snort. “Just be lucky that this is all they are doing.”

“Hey!” Eddie said, not offended as he shifted his hold from around me back to my hand. “We are not that bad.”

“She is not that bad,” Steve pointed at me and rolled his eyes. “Eddie, have you met you?”

Before Eddie could retaliate, I heard loud voices from the other end of the aisle. I turned in Eddie’s hold to investigate, but was met with the sight of three women pointing at our group. 

“-let him back in public?” I heard one say. 

“-pper should really be doing his job. Letting an accused murder walk the streets?” Another gawked out. 

When I looked back at Eddie, I could see all amusement was wiped from his face and his eyes tightened in a way that I knew meant he was upset. Steve and Robin were quiet behind us, and with one glance, I could see that they were staring down the women too. 

“Hey,” I whispered to get Eddie’s attention. His eyes snapped to me from where he was watching them, him trying to school his expression for me. “They don’t exist, remember? It’s just us.”

Eddie let out a sigh. “Just us.”

“C’mon guys,” Steve said. Robin had moved to stand in front of us, her back to the gossiping women. She reached a hand out the rub at one of my arms. “Let’s just finish this.”

Without another glance at them, I let Eddie turn me around to follow Steve, Robin stayed on my other side like she was going to try and protect me from anyone that approached us. I thought we had gotten away with it, that they were going to leave us alone and we could get out without any other altercations. But Eddie was adamant that he could go get his cereal and be right back. 

“Gonna miss me, sweetheart? It’s just one aisle.” Eddie laughed and leaned down to kiss my head. “I’ll be quick, you won’t even notice I’m gone.”

I frowned, still on edge. What if those women were gonna follow us around the store? 

“I’ll get you some pop tarts,” Eddie bargained with me. “Just stay here with Robin and Steve. If we split up, the less time we can be in here and the sooner we can be getting something to eat.”

“Yeah,” Robin as her arm wrapped around my shoulders. “Go get your nasty cereal, Munson. No one else is gonna eat it.”

Eddie flipped her off with a smile as he turned the corner. Anxiety bubbled in my chest as he left my sight. “They are going to follow him.”

“You don’t know that,” Steve said as the cart came to a stop next to me. “Most of them just like to gossip from a distance. I’m sure Hopper scared the rest of them off.”

“C’mon,” Robin pulled me along with her as we followed Steve. “All we got left is Max and Will’s chips and we can leave,”

A few minutes passed as Steve and Robin debated on chips and Eddie wasn’t back yet. The bubble of anxiety just kept growing in my chest. Something in my chest told me I should have followed Eddie. 

And then I felt it, what Eddie was talking about all this time. I felt the feeling of fear settle into the back of my spine. I could tell it wasn’t my emotion, it was Eddie’s.

“Guys,” I said to get their attention. “We need to find Eddie, now.”

I didn’t give them a chance to argue as I took off to find him. I tried to remember the layout from the last time I was here, but it wasn’t needed as I heard loud voices coming from two aisles down. I didn’t wait to see if Steve and Robin were behind me to help me stop this, I just knew I had to get to Eddie. The voices got louder the closer I got. 

“Really think you should be able to walk around here?”

“Devil Worshipper!”

“How can you even show your face around here?”

“Lying to that poor girl, how hasn’t Hopper thrown you in jail?”

“Killer!”

“Hey!” I shouted as I heard that last remark. I was just rounding the end of the aisle and saw that they had Eddie backed into the shelf, cereal box clutched in his hand. It would be a funnier sight on another day, four older ladies in their bright pinks crowding Eddie in his black clothes. But this wasn’t another day, this was today when they were harassing Eddie in a stupid grocery store. “Get away from him!”

I didn’t stop moving as I approached the group, shouldering who got in my way to stand in front of Eddie. Eddie’s face was pale and his gaze was pointed downward at his shoes when I got in front of him. He wouldn’t meet my gaze, but did take my hand when I offered it to him. 

I turned back to the group of women, furious. “You have two seconds to leave before I’m calling my Uncle. You have no right to say those things here!”

“Honey,” One woman said condescendingly as she tried to reach out to me. “You don’t know what’s going on. He murd-”

I could feel Eddie flinch harshly behind me. He fought to get his hand out of mine, but I refused and tightened my grip. 

“Shut the hell up!” I yelled. I could hear that the store had gotten too quiet and the sound of Robin’s boots as she and Steve made their way to us. “You don’t know anything about what happened. Eddie is not a goddamn murderer. He didn’t kill Chrissy, he didn’t kill Patrick, he’s never hurt anyone!”

“I’m calling Hopper,” I heard Steve say as Robin made her way to my side, both of us working as a barrier between the women and Eddie. I could barely see Steve behind them, but nodded in the direction his voice came from. 

“How could you stand behind him in good conscience?” One of the women said, targeted at me. “How can you stand there knowing what he’s done? That makes you just as bad!”

“He shouldn’t even have a soulmark!” The other cried out. “Not after he split apart Jason and Chrissy! An eye for an eye, a mark for a mark!”

“Stop!” I said as I took a threatening step forward. I stood as tall as I could, wanting to seem as intimidating to these women. “You don’t know jack shit. Eddie didn’t do it! Out of everyone in this store, Eddie deserves his soulmark the most! You have no idea what happened in that Creel House. And I promise you if you lay one hand on him, you won’t ever see anything else but a goddamn jail cell.”

“Is that a threat?” The third asked with huff. 

I smiled as crazily as I could at the three. “You don’t know where I came from and you don’t even know why I’m here. You really want to test that theory now? I dare you to see what happens.”

Suddenly Eddie ripped his hand out of my grip and dropped the box of cereal. He wouldn’t meet my eyes as I turned to face him in confusion, instead choosing to bolt towards the direction of the exit of the store. I watched as he stumbled around people and made a quick exit to the right as the automatic doors opened. When I turned back to the group of women, they all had smug faces. 

“I think we took care of that, didn’t we Margret?” The ringleader of the group said. “He shouldn’t be back anytime soon.”

“You have no idea what you’ve just done,” I said with an angry laugh. “I can make what happened over spring break look like child’s play. You think you should be afraid of Eddie?” I took another step closer to the women, ignoring Robin’s attempt to draw me back. I was all in now. “Just go back to your boring life with your loveless marriage and repressed feelings where you see your husband for two hours at night and your kids when they want something from you. Where the only joy you get is gossiping about the people of this small town or making fun of your new neighbors. But I promise you, if you ever mess with any of the Munson’s again and I find out, I’ll make sure all that goes away. I’ll have Hopper arrest you before you can shed a single tear. Do you understand me?”

She took a step back from me as Steve reapproached us. Steve looked at my angry expression and the worried one from Robin that I could just feel with the stress rolling off of her. Steve stepped between us, his back to the women with himself facing me. 

“Hopper’s not at the station but he’s sending Powell and Callahan to take care of it.” Steve said. “But he is making a trip to the store and he’s very angry that this interrupted his only night off.”

“Well, good.” One of them piped up from behind Steve causing him to turn around. “He can finally arrest Munson and get him out of here.”

Steve raised an eyebrow, a shocked expression filtering his face. “He’s not here for Eddie or Sydney. He’s here for you three. He’s put out several warnings about messing with the Munson’s, and now you’ve threatened his niece?”

One sputtered. “We didn’t threaten her!”

“I heard it!” Robin piped up from beside me, her arm coming around my shoulders. “And I’m sure no one else is gonna want to get involved to deny it!”

Noise started to pick up around us again, everyone that was viewing the spectacle started to go their own ways. Seemingly not wanting to have to deal with Hopper and whatever he was going to do to these three. 

Steve crossed his arms and turned his body in my direction. “Sydney? Robin and I will stay here. Why don’t you go find Eddie?”

I nodded, sending another glare at the women as I stepped away from them. I didn’t bother with any of the crowd that lingered, just pushed my way through the people and met each disgusted gaze with one of my own. No one else said a word to me as I made it to the automatic doors and it felt like forever getting the doors to open. I peered out into the parking lot, heading first to the van that set a little aways from the door. 

“Eddie?!” I banged on the back of the van as I moved around to circle the front. There was no one in the front seats and when I pulled open the side door, there was no Eddie hiding in the back of the van. 

“Eddie?” I asked again into the dying light of the parking lot. “Eddie?”

I scoped the parking lot, but there was no one else there. There was a lone phone booth sitting at the edge of the parking lot, but no metalhead was holed up in there either. I let out a deep sigh as I leaned back against the van, desperate to find him. Eddie never mentioned how much these remarks bothered him, but it didn’t take a second glance to see the way he would get lost in himself. Eddie wasn’t dangerous to anyone but himself, and God forbid he does something stupid in his moment of disassociation. 

Bang!

The sound of metal ricocheting drew my attention back towards the store, specifically to the area beside it. I took quick steps in the direction, almost knowing that Eddie had to be the cause of the noise. It was a little more difficult to see around the side of the store, the sun going down enough but not far enough for the streetlights to come up. 

“Eddie?” I asked into the air as I took quiet steps past a dumpster and boxes of cardboard stacked upon each other. “Baby? Are you back here?”

I was met with no reply as I turned the corner to the back of the building. It was much darker back here, the only light coming from a bulb above what looked like a back entrance. 

“Baby?” I asked again as I squinted to make out any shapes. “I just want to know that you are okay. Please just let me know that you are back here.”

A humorless chuckle drew my attention to the right and at that moment with a rescinding click, the lights at the back of the building turned on. There was Eddie, sitting on an overturned milk crate, leaning back against the store wall with a cigarette in his mouth. He looked so angry, his hair a mess from where he was probably pulling at the roots which I knew he did when he got stressed. His expression was pinched, but even from a few feet away I could see how sad his beautiful eyes were. One hand clutched his cigarette while the other was flipping the lid open and shut on his lighter. 

“Am I okay?” He asked me, another humorless chuckle leaving him as he took a puff from his cigarette. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Oh, Eddie.” I said, my heart breaking as I saw the mask slip and sadness replaced the anger. “It’s okay to be upset about this. I’m upset about this!”

“Are you now?” Eddie asked rhetorically, as he put the lighter away and leaned forward in his position.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked, now upset that he wasn’t fired up as I was. “That was an ambush Eddie! Those women had no right to say those things about you!”

It was quiet for a moment as Eddie threw his cigarette down and stomped it into the ground. “They sounded right, didn’t they?”

It drew me up short. “I’m sorry, what?”

Eddie’s hands made their way into his hair, pulling at the roots like I thought he was doing before. “Those women, hell the whole store probably thinks that all of that is true. So if they do, it must be right? I’m a murder that doesn’t deserve a soulmark?”

“Eddie!” I said, astounded. “None of that is true. You can’t possibly think that.”

He chuckled again, and this one sounded more wet like he was holding something back. “Were you there when Chrissy’s bones snapped and her eyes got sucked out of her head? When Patrick floated into the air in front of me on that lake? Or when the ground threatened to rip apart under our feet when we thought Vecna had won?”

I stayed silent, not moving as Eddie continued. He made eye contact with me then. 

“You weren’t. You weren’t here when I started going out in public alone and had to deal with this. How I would come out of a store and my tires would be slashed or the van would be spray painted with cruel words that took days to scrub off.”

He rubbed at his face and stood up to pace, moving in a small circle around the crate. 

“I’m going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life in Hawkins, sweetheart. If I were you, I’d run for the fucking hills. That’s all I’m ever going to be in this town is a murderer that just wanted to help the nice cheerleader get some goddamn sleep. And see where it got me?”  

He paused, the anger seeming to drain out of him. “I had to stop doing drug deals at night because I would be followed and beaten. Do you really want to stick around for that? What if you are with me one night and they get to you?”

“I-” I started but I couldn’t seem to get a breath in as I started to cry. “What happened to all that stuff you talked about weeks ago? What you promised me?”

“This is my life, Sydney.” Eddie said as he swept his arms out, his voice kept getting louder and louder. “Being harassed in a goddamn supermarket, being followed after school, having to hide how I feel when parents push their kids behind them in public. Do you really want to have to deal with that the rest of the time we are here?”

Eddie sunk to his knees, tears finally escaping his eyes as a heartbreaking sound left him. Even when he showed me his scars and the breakdown that followed, he never sounded this sad. This resigned to the life he had. He pressed his hands to his eyes like he could force the sadness back into the darkest parts of him. 

“I’m so sorry, Sydney.” Eddie cried and I finally moved forward, falling to my knees in front of him. “This is what you chose, this is the life we are going to have here. Us getting harassed in supermarkets and being denied service at some places. You think I want this for you? I can’t give you much in this life, and until we can leave here this is what our lives are going to be.”

I didn’t answer him at first, just reaching forward to pull him into me and he just collapsed. His sobs got heavier and his arms circled me to clutch me closer to his chest. I held him tightly, not realizing that things had gotten this bad. How long had this been going on before I arrived? Twice a week, three times, everyday? 

“Eddie, baby look at me.” I said as I rubbed a hand down his back and tried to pull back. His grip tightened, pushing his face into my neck. “Okay, you don’t have to look at me but you have to listen.”

I sighed as he continued to shake in my arms. “Eddie, it doesn’t matter what they say to me about you. I’m never going to believe them. I chose this life, I chose to live it with you here in a small town that I had never heard of and far away from my time. Do you really think a few old ladies are going to have me running for the hills?”

“But,” Eddie hiccuped and sat back on his heels, his arms still locked around me and forced me to fall back with him. The gravel was rubbing the material of my jeans into my knees, but I wasn’t going to move. Not when he needed me. “The bruises that-”

“Baby,” I said as softly as I could. “Dustin hit me with his textbook last week and I still have a bruise on my arm. Do you really think that bothers me?”

Eddie looked up at me then. “Sweetheart, someone grabbed you three weeks ago. I can live with the shoves and assault, but the fact they think they can do it to you? That’s a line I’m not willing to cross. I can’t let you put up with that.”

“So what?” I scoffed, trying to get him to see how ridiculous he was being over this. I chose him all those weeks ago, and I’m choosing him now. “You want me to leave you here alone in all this? Go back to a time where I’m unloved and trapped in a house that’s going to break me worse than what you found me?”

“No!” Eddie yelled at me. He moved so his hands were clutching my face. “Please don’t leave me. I don’t think I’d survive it.”

“Baby,” I whimpered out as my heart broke more for him. “You can’t tell me to go and stay in one sentence. I’m telling you like I told you all those weeks ago that I’m with you. We are in this together. So what if the people of Hawkins are narrow minded? We weren’t going to stay here forever. I’d follow you anywhere; wherever you go, I will go.”

Eddie was sniffiling loudly, his brown eyes tracking across my face like he was waiting for my expression to change. “I don’t think I’d forgive myself if they hurt you.”

“No one is going to hurt me.” I said with all the conviction that I had. “Eddie, don’t turn this around on us. Nothing that happened there is your fault and it never will be. I’m angry at them, not you. I’m never going to be mad at you. I’m never going to leave you. I can’t change what happened back in March, but I can tell you that the trauma of Chrissy’s death needs to be lightened. You didn’t kill her baby, you did nothing wrong. She was with you in her final moments, can you imagine how much more scared she would have been if she had been alone? She trusted you. None of those women in that store can take that from you.”

I moved a hand up to push his hair away from his face, wiping his tears away in vain as more continued to fall. “You have never not been deserving of a soulmark Eddie.  You are one of the kindest, craziest, self sacrificing people I have ever met. The universe took one look at you and decided I was worthy of all of this. I’m going to make sure you know that everyday.”

Eddie leaned into my touch, his eyes slipping closed as some of the tension left his frame. “Isn’t that my line?”

I let out a tiny laugh and moved to pull him back into my embrace. “I’m serious Eddie. It’s okay to be frustrated and upset about what they say, but you can’t ever believe them. They weren’t there Eddie. They didn’t see what you did to save this town, the sacrifices you made and probably will continue to make if Vecna comes back. You can’t let them win.”

Eddie hummed, his chest vibrating against mine. “It’s just so hard when you hear it all the time. Everywhere I go I hear the whispers of what they think of me. After a while of hearing something, you start to believe it. You know?”

I nodded and moved my hands to cup his face and pull it to where I could see him. “Baby, I promise you every day I’m going to remind you that whatever you hear isn’t true. We are in this together, remember?”

“Together,” Eddie echoed back at me like I had done to him all those weeks ago. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I smiled then, glad to see that his tears had stopped. “You won’t ever have to find out.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asked, leaning forward to tuck some hair behind my ear. My thumbs moved to wipe the tears from his face, some color returning to his pale features. 

“Oh, yeah.” I teased. “You’re stuck with me.”

“What a shame,” Eddie said dramatically as he swayed under my hands. “I have to deal with you for the rest of our lives?”

Eddie let out a laugh and made a move to get to his feet. He reached a hand down to me, helping me off the dirty ground and leaning down to brush at my knees when I stood up. He fussed over me for another moment, pushing my hair over my shoulders and wiping at my face for any leftover tears. “Thank you for coming to find me.”

“Hey,” I said as I reached for him. “Don’t thank me. I’d do anything for you, even beating up a few old women.”

“Would you now?” Eddie said as we pulled each other closer. “You’d take all of Hawkins' gossip for me?”

“In a heartbeat.” I said back without any hesitation. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m kind of obsessed with you.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows, my favorite smile of his pulling at his lips. “I’ve got you beat, sweetheart.”

Eddie leaned his face forward, completely in my space as we shared the air between us. “I crave you, Sydney. When you are not with me, it pains me to be away from you. I won’t ever need anything else when I’m with you.”

With that, Eddie leaned forward and hesitantly pressed his lips to mine. I let out a small noise of surprise and after a second of catching up, I pressed forward to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him as close as possible. Eddie responded with the same enthusiasm, his kisses getting deeper and more confident as his hands clutched harder at my face. My heart was going crazy in my chest, my body filling with static at the emotions running through me. It was like every emotion was being amplified, like touching a wire of electricity. One of my hands moved to grasp at the hair at the back of his neck while the other moved to grab at his wrist; and when I brushed over his soulmark, it felt like I was in the sun. 

Eddie must have felt the same because he pulled back taking a sharp breath, his forehead leaning against mine. “Sydney?”

Instead of verbally responding, I pushed myself up to kiss him again, already knowing that I was addicted to this now. The closeness between us, the feeling of Eddie inside and out as he kissed me. I kissed him deeper, more emotional like I wouldn’t survive without him. Like he was my life-source and every minute I spent not with his lips on mine was a second of not living. 

I pulled back after it felt like my lungs were on fire, Eddie moving my face to look at him. He had this dreamy look on his face and I felt pride swell within me. I did that, I made him feel that way. 

“Sydney,” Eddie chuckled. “If you don’t stop, I’m not going to be able to stop.”

“Oh?” I asked him, feeling in my chest like that day at the arcade. Him pushing me against the van, the trailing of hands. “What if I don’t want you to stop kissing me?”

Eddie groaned and moved his forehead to rest back against mine. “Sweetheart, don’t ask those questions. I am a weak man for you.”

“Yeah?” I asked back with a smile. Eddie dropped his hands from my face to my waist, his grip tightening as I leaned forward to kiss at the corner of his mouth. “I want you to be weak for me Eddie.”

A series of emotions filtered across his face before what I could only describe as hunger settled on his features. He chuckled, his hands forcing my waist to connect with his. His head bent down to my neck and I felt him start to mouth at my neck. I felt my knees shake, my heart beating incredibly loud in my ears. My face was hot and flushed as I grasped onto him, wanting to stay present and not drift away in his clutches. 

“This isn’t the place to be weak for you, sweetheart.” Eddie said as he pressed another kiss to my neck and then leaned back. I let out a low whine and the smile that painted his face promised me he would just eat me up. “The sounds that I want to pull out of you? Those should be reserved for my ears only.”

My face flushed darker if possible and before I could come up with something to say, I heard the sound of Robin and Steve. 

Eddie must have heard them too before because he groaned and the step he took back from me seemed like it pained him. He moved to grab my hand, keeping me close to his side as they rounded the corner. 

“Everything okay?” Steve asked as they came closer. He looked us both over and after a moment, I saw a look cross his face. “Wait, did we interrupt something?”

Robin eyed both of us before she busted out laughing. “We leave you alone for two seconds and you can’t keep your hands to yourself?”

Eddie grumbled beside me and moved so he had an arm wrapped around my shoulders. “What did you two come out here for?”

“Hopper’s here,” Steve shared. “He wants to talk to both of you.”

I frowned. “Are we in trouble?”

Robin shook her head. “No. I think he wants to know if you are going to press charges against those women.”

I watched Eddie’s eyes widen in surprise. “He wants to press charges?”

Steve frowned. “Eddie, he’s given several warnings and people are still bothering you. He takes this very seriously.”

Eddie shook his head. “I just didn’t expect it.”

Steve regarded him for a moment before turning to look at me. “Do you and Robin want to go ahead? I need to say something to Eddie.”

I looked up at Eddie and sent me a nod saying that he’d be okay. I leaned up to kiss his cheek before taking Robin’s outstretched hand and heading back the way we came. When we rounded the corner I could see Hopper dressed in his normal clothes, arms crossed and glaring down at the three women that harassed us earlier. They looked upset, the ring leader looking like she was going to cry at the thought of Eddie pressing charges. Good.

“Uncle Hop,” I greeted as we got closer to the group and moved in for the hug when he reached out for me. “I’m sorry you had to come out on your night off.”

Hopper ruffled my hair when I stepped back. “Don’t worry about it, kiddo. I told you to call me if anyone bothered you or Munson.”

Hopper’s expression melted back into the one I’ve only seen a handful of times, the one he gets when he goes into “Cop Mode”. “Are these the women that harassed you in the store?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“And they caused a scene? Robin said when you got to him they had pressed against a shelf?”

“Yes,” I sent a glare towards the group. “They were accusing him of being a murder and a devil worshiper.”

“But she threatened us!” One of them cried and tried to reach out to Hopper. He moved out of their range with a look of disgust on his face. “We didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Witnesses say that you three are the ones that have done the threatening.” Hopper stated. “Now do you know if Munson wants to press charges?”

“No,” Eddie’s voice came from behind me. I turned and offered him my hand when he got close enough, but he opted to wrap an arm around my waist. “I don’t want to press charges.”

I sent Steve a look from over my shoulder as he came up behind Eddie, and he nodded back at me. Whatever they talked about must have worked itself out. Eddie looked a little better, still upset about what happened but more like he had let some of the sadness go. 

“You three are still coming to the station with me to fill out some paperwork.” Hopper said as he pointed towards the group of women. The two other officers came forward and started to direct them towards the flashing police cars. “You’re going to have to call your husbands to get your vehicles later. You are very lucky Munson’s not pressing charges but if I hear about any of you harassing him again, I won’t hesitate. You understand?”

The women nodded and didn’t saything as they followed the officers. Hopper let out a deep sigh and rubbed his forehead. “Are you guys okay?”

“We will be,” Eddie said as he pulled me closer to him, like he couldn’t stand for me to not be touching every part of him. “I just wasn’t expecting that to happen tonight. Thanks for coming.”

Hopper shrugged. “Despite our past Munson, you’re a part of this group now and that makes you family.” He sent me a look. “You too. I mean it, if anyone bothers you like this again I am pressing charges regardless.”

Eddie shrugged. “Maybe this will finally scare them into leaving me alone.”

Hopper stared at him for a moment. “If I found out that you didn't tell Wayne about this, I am calling the man myself. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Chief.” Eddie said back with a small smile. “Thanks.”

Hopper reached out to grasp Eddie’s shoulder before stepping back and heading towards his vehicle. We watched him pull out of the parking lot, the other cop cars following after him. It was a moment or two before any of us moved, the night turning out completely different than we thought it was going to be. 

Steve tossed Eddie the van keys. “I had Robin check us out as I met with Hopper. So you don’t have to worry about going back in there.”

Eddie sighed and it seemed some weight came off his shoulders. “Thanks, I really didn’t want to go back into that store. Can we just drop the two of you off? I’m not up for doing anything else tonight.”

“Sure,” Robin said. She glanced around for a second before spotting a lone cart. “Can I do one thing first?”

Eddie nodded, confusion painting his face. Robin looked around for a moment before rushing towards the cart and walking it down the parking lot. We watched her peak around before narrowing in on a car. With a big push, she sent the cart flying and watched it crash into the driver side door. 

“Robin!” Steve hissed as he took off after her. Eddie and I shared a glance, our mischievous smiles mimicking each other. “Destroying someone else’s property is illegal!”

“Is it illegal if she deserved it?” Robin said as Steve caught up to her, Eddie and I took our time walking towards them. “I saw her put her stuff in this car! No one is going to say anything.”

Steve rubbed at his face before his hands dropped at his side. “Is that it?”

Robin pouted. “Will you let me slash one of their tires?”

Eddie snickered and leaned forward to give Robin a high-five. “That’s my best friend! But in the event of the police leaving, we should keep our crime rate low.”

“Next time then,” Robin said with a laugh. She jumped at Steve. “C’mon Steve, aren’t you angry?”

“Of course I’m angry!” Steve said. “I just don’t want to commit crimes in a public place!”

Robin laughed and let Steve lead her towards Eddie’s van. I watched them bicker over who should get the front seat before they both gave up and got in the back. I turned towards Eddie to see him watching them with a fond look on his face.

“How did I get so lucky?” He asked no one in particular. “Being around all of you.”

“You deserve everything, Eddie.” I said as I leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Now the sooner we get them home, the sooner you can make out with me in the comfort of your bedroom.”

Eddie sent me a mischievous look and started moving us towards the van. “I’ve created a monster, haven’t I?”

I just sent him another smile as he opened the passenger door and helped me into the van. He snuck in another kiss before he closed the door, Robin hackling him from the backseat. 

Eddie looked lighter when he pulled out the parking lot and started in the direction of Steve’s house. Sure I couldn’t stop anyone from saying anything to him, but I could be there to kiss the worries away when it happens. And Eddie seemed to agree

Hello! I am sorry for the lack of updates, this new jobs is kicking my ass! This is the last normal chapter before the time skips! I have a lot planned and I'm excited for you all the read it! I wanted to go into more depth about how Eddie might feel about being harassed by the town, and our babies finally kissed! Leave your comments of what you think, I'd love to know!

Leave a comment if you want to be tagged!

Taglist: @silky-luxe @disaster-in-waiting @sadbitchfangirl@welliguessiwritethingsnow @comboboo@tuttigunner@avalon-wolf @kaitebugg03

[elise-jupiterstyle]

this is a very cynical bomb that i’m about to drop with absolutely no context but they really did just fetishize rio to gain viewership without actually ever giving a shit about his value as a character, and i’ve gotten myself into a bit of a spiral stewing about it.

tw: my opinions again

like i didn’t want to think about my favorite show so negatively before it ended so i tried to steer clear of any posts that discussed it for the sake of my own enjoyment but after how short the finale season fell from my expectations, it’s hard not to be pissed off. because ever since they had beth shoot rio in season two i’ve been waiting for them to reconcile such a gruesome choice by developing the characters further, their relationships, their knowledge of themselves, but it just didn’t happen. beth never took accountability for the shooting, rio never took accountability for kidnapping and pressuring her, and dean never took accountability for his infidelity or faking cancer, which were the three main points of conflict that the writers should’ve focused on resolving before ever even thinking of introducing new conflicts.

i’m not saying i wanted rio to forgive beth, or that i wanted beth to forgive dean, or that i wanted any of these resolutions to happen immediately after their conflicts took place. and sure, you could say that beth’s character compartmentalizes and that beth and rio aren’t good communicators and didn’t have a strong bond of trust to begin with so it wouldn’t be in character for them to discuss what happened, but that’s where character growth is supposed to come in! you’re supposed to write characters with these flaws so that they have a better version of themselves to work towards that is slowly developed as they encounter each conflict. they’re not meant to make them into worse people until the show is entirely unbearable to watch because all of that old resentment and tension is just rotting away beneath the rug it’s been swept under.

it’s not a creative choice to have characters directly create conflict and then never address it again while they move onto the next big thing -- it’s lazy writing, and it makes it crystal clear that they were written in solely to shock the viewers and create tension between the characters, not to cultivate growth, and that is very frustrating when you have a group of characters whose inherent morality is constantly insisted upon.

what’s especially frustrating about this is that it not only means there is a lack of depth to all the characters, but there’s a lack of value to the ones that the writers did not favor. based on the season one storyline that culminated in rio shooting dean and letting beth live -- essentially getting even with her in a way that didn’t involve killing off the protagonist, even though that would’ve been the most likely course of action based on the consequences that other disposable characters suffered (i.e. eddie) -- it’s my belief that the writers didn’t expect to keep rio on the show past season one (honestly, it kind of feels like they didn’t even expect to get another season, based on how messy the storyline felt as the seasons progressed), and therefore didn’t value rio’s character the way the audience came to by season two. 

when i say the writers didn’t (and honestly, i still think they don’t -- not in the same way they value the girls, dean, stan, or even fucking boomer) value him, i mean they didn’t see him as being worth the effort of giving a character arc, a background story, personal relationships, etc. they threw in marcus at the start of season two to be like “he’s a dad! that means he has depth!” and then never really touched on it again. there was like, one other scene with marcus that i can remember, and then he, too, was sidelined until they needed to humanize rio again after he got shot. all of the other kids -- the bolands, sarah, harry, and ben -- are regularly featured because they are a driving component of the women’s motivation to survive and succeed. with rio, his kid is only used to relate him back to the women, to make him seem human for a moment, but marcus’s real value as a character lies in how he makes beth feel as she grieves rio, not how he contributes to rio’s behavior, motivation, and overall character.

and yes, i know that rio is technically a side character, that the children of the protagonists are going to have more development, but if they actually wanted to add depth to rio’s character through the facet of parenthood, they would’ve shown more than one interaction with him after he spent supposed months away from him without a word. that kid would’ve been traumatized by that, and seeing rio’s reaction to his kid mourning his disappearance would’ve provided a much more real and interesting angle than them all smiling and happy, like we’ve seen in every other scene with him and marcus. it would’ve showed that the writers care about rio’s pain, about how his absence affected those he loves, but to be blunt, they don’t. they showed beth grieving him when she shot him, but we didn’t see him recovering from that traumatic event. they didn’t even care enough about him to give him fake scars, for christ’s sake. 

everything that happened to rio throughout the show was either done to further the other women’s development or appease the viewers, and they made zero effort to hide that. they walked his characterization backwards so many times (him threatening beth’s family when it had been insinuated thus far that that was the only line he wouldn’t cross; him touching her and making suggestive advances on her in exchange for bail money when she was clearly uncomfortable; him returning all of her stuff and happily accepting her as his superior when there was no development in their relationship to suggest he’d forgiven her or would be receptive to her having power over him) and almost every single instance of them using him to promote the show exploited his outward appearance and the fact that so many viewers have fetishized him as this “exotic” bad boy without any regard for how minimizing and insulting that marketing tactic is. 

looking through their instagram, i saw no other instance of an actor’s picture being posted next to a bunch of thirsty tweets or captioned as being “another reason to watch good girls.” it’s fetishization disguised as playful, well-intentioned endorsement, but if they were really referring to rio’s character rather than his appearance as a reason to watch the show, we wouldn’t be seeing his face on nearly every episode promo and highlight with him only occupying about five minutes of screen time every 50-minute episode.

there’s not really a neat bow-tie conclusion to this, but what i’m getting at is that the writers wanted it both ways. they wanted the viewership and fan engagement that manny’s character garnered, but they didn’t value him enough to give him the screen time and characterization that he deserved. this resulted in all of the revelations that were made about his character -- his son, rhea, his dynamic with turner, his backstory, his hobby, his grandma, nick -- feeling pretty underwhelming because they were never touched on again. they were there because they had to give us something, but they weren’t important enough to the writers to be expanded upon, to be used for personal growth or connecting with the other characters. i think that’s why it felt like such a hollow victory -- we got exactly what we wanted in theory, but there the foundation of it all was too weak for it to feel truly meaningful. 

we wanted rio to be acknowledged and written as a permanent fixture on the show, but instead the rest of the characters were hell-bent on getting rid of him and his primary aspect of redemption was what he meant to beth, not what he meant to the show. even in the finale when she finally came to the realization that she won’t ever be able to give up crime, rio’s role in contributing to her self-actualization was passed over by a character who has been in seven episodes, and i think that really spoke for itself the loudest in terms of how much the writers truly valued him.

[servicetopkaradanvers]

I'm not sure if this is exactly the right place to say this, but I don't know if there is. And you're a smart person and critical thinker who has talked about this before. If this is totally weird, you can just delete it ofc. I've never properly watched Supergirl but I started reading fanfic around the time my mental health got real bad so it was a comfort thing I didn't bring too much thought to. I really identify with Lena and in the past, part of me has understood her actions-

and I know that they're wrong. The anti-alien rhetoric is obviously an allegory for racism or homophobia. She's violated people's basic human rights. And I'm scared that I'm a bad person because sometimes, I kind of get it. Which is insane because i'm a lesbian enby of color, i mean i get targeted by most of the -ist/ism actions. And I'm also too tired to think about things critically all the time. Supercorp was my comfort fic, content thing-

I knew it was problematic (the whole James thing makes me sick to my stomach, scared and sad) but I didn't know that Lena as a character was written that way. The metaphors never really clicked in my head because I never thought about it, but now I feel absolutely horrible about myself because I like and identify with Lena. I'm not really sure how to move on from here- I'm just tired. I wish there could be just one thing, one piece of media that wasn't prejudiced (granted sg is not the place to go if you want decent rep and the like) and all of those things I said earlier. Its just me somehow trying to justify how I felt and empathized with something I shouldn't have. So yeah, sorry that was really long. I hope you have a lovely day- sorry for the spam

FIRST of all, you’re fine, babe! Both in sending me this and in enjoying The Bad Media. That’s my thesis here: You’re fine. With this in mind, let’s unpack this big ol suitcase:

We’re living in a fandom moment where more than ever before, we’re thinking about the ideas we consume in fiction and how they may or may not affect us. This is a net positive! Fiction is not reality, but it undeniably impacts it, so for this and many other reasons, we should always think critically about what resonates with us and why. Does this mean dissecting every facet of something to find all the ways it might fall in line with oppressive power structures? Absolutely not.

You, as an individual, do not owe anyone an explanation for why you enjoy anything. Period. How you relate to a given character or why you like them is nobody's business but your own.

Supergirl, as a piece of media, is singularly awful in its lackluster lipservice to progressivism while simultaneously refusing to deliver any progressive themes. Socially and politically, it is a useless liberal wet dream. Kara is an immigrant from a dead culture working as the muscle for a secret FBI offshoot with zero accountability for all of the other aliens in diaspora she has rounded up and dumped into a cell without trial. Alex is allegedly a lesbian, but the key points of her endgame relationship are constantly deemed not important enough to get screen time, which is made even more absurd when examined from the angle that this series is marketed directly toward LGBT people. An embarrassing percentage of villains on this show are women of color, which is particularly loud when there are only 2 women in the main cast who aren't white. And "main" is extremely generous, given that Kelly is just there to Give Advice Good and everything M'gann says and does is as dry as toast.

My point here is that the whole show is rotted to its roots, and whatever quietly libertarian or even fascism-enabling bullshit they push onto Lena in a given week is par for the crusty, shitty course. Kara deciding that she's ok with the alien detection device because "there are bad aliens" is a lovely (read: awful) microcosm of why this show sucks so fucking hard. "People are entitled to their opinions" is for debates on whether pineapple goes on pizza, not for whether we should casually out, endanger, and disenfranchise our [insert minority metaphor here] because some of them are mean.

But what I would love for this fandom to wrap its head around, and what I hope you understand, anon, is that just because it happens on the show, doesn't mean we have to give a rat's ass about it. What the hell is The Canon, anyway? Especially in the case for Supergirl, which can't even get its own continuity right. Especially for an IP that has been rebooted dozens of times before and will be rebooted again in the future. We can just decide that Lena realized the horrible injustices she enabled through her position of power. We can even decide that they just didn't happen at all! This is all fake. It's not set in stone. Who came up with it, anyway? A network with a list of buzzwords they want included and a couple of D-tier showrunners cranking down caffeine to meet an absurdly tight deadline. It's not special. I can guarantee that you care about it infinitely more than they do, and you haven't even watched the damn show.

On a more personal level, people who are hurt, depressed, or traumatized have always and will always look for themselves in fiction. Myself included! And despite what lofty platitudes there may be on the matter, suffering does not make us kind. It does not make us better. Sometimes it's just suffering. Often it pulls us further from who we are meant to be. Often it just makes us "worse."

Trauma has made Lena emotionally brittle. A lifetime of manipulation and abuse has taught her to compartmentalize herself and lock her feelings behind a maze of doors. When she does let love in, she accepts it so wild and vulnerable that she can't see the red flags behind the rosy lenses. She latches so hard onto people she deems virtuous that she holds them to a standard none could fulfill. Her pain has to go somewhere, so it oozes out of her, into Non Nocere, into the post-reveal rift. She's a powder keg, and Kara spent 4 years shoveling more gunpowder onto the pile while holding the match between her teeth.

And despite these fatal flaws that make perfect sense through the eyes of Lena's trauma, she is so full of love. Like Kara, her suffering did not make her kind. She is kind in spite of her suffering. These are the characters we are drawn to when we're hurting. Lena’s trauma is an inextricable part of her, but it is not all of her, and neither are her mistakes.

There truly is not and never will be a piece of media that is absolutely innocent of the harmful structures thrust upon us by society, because we ourselves also participate in that society whether we are critical of it or not, whether we strive to change it or not. I'm flawed. You're flawed. Bettering ourselves is not a journey toward an ultimate destination of perfection. It is a garden we nurture in an endless labor of love because the joy that comes from seeing it flourish and change vastly outweighs the work we put into it and the weeds popping up around its unkempt edges. This is a lesson Lena herself could probably stand to internalize. Probably with lots and lots of therapy. Lots. And lots.

So, to circle back to the start of this? You're fine. You recognized the logic in a traumatized character's mistakes because our own gravest errors more often than not stem from the ways we have been harmed in the past. It's what makes Lena (or, at the very least, the many adaptations of Lena that exist in this fandom) a good character. She is, to her core, characterized proof that a crumbling foundation and poisonous soil do not define us. Which is why watching her heal and grow and learn a healthier kind of love is so, so wonderful.

In closing, I think it's worth mentioning that being critical of media does not mean that we stop enjoying the parts of it we like. There is a lot of gold to be pulled from the steaming pile of shit that is CW Supergirl, and that's why we're all here in the first place. So I really hope you can continue to enjoy it in whatever way makes you smile <3

[colossal-fallout]

Hello darlin, fan since 100 followers

Can I request a small modern au one shot of a M reader and Pieck and they’re having a movie night. Full of fluff and a hint of smut.

Cheers love

Thank you so much for being here <3 And you know i'm more than glad we met :)

Movie Night

Male bodied reader X Pieck

Warnings: 18+ Fuff & Smut

The soft rhythmic lullaby of your rested heartbeat soothed Pieck as her head raised slowly up and down with your breath, both of your heads turned facing the TV. Her body was between your legs with a soft throw-over covering the two of you, your finger tips lazily grazing through her liquid ebony strands.

"I love this movie.... I've not seen it for a while. It's one of my favourites." Her vocals are underlined with gratitude that you'd agreed to watch it with her.

You love her. Of course you'll gladly watch whatever she wants as your eyes flicker slightly at the sight of the vampire on the screen devouring it's victim - the crimson blood soaking into the white snow looked almost picturesque. It surprised you that one of her enjoyments was watching a movie about a village in Alaska being hunted like pray by these monsters.

The light weight of her upon your body is warm and comforting, her scent like spiced vanilla from whatever fancy shampoo she's been using. You feel her breasts pressing lovingly against your lower stomach as her head turns and nuzzles into you slightly with a deep sigh; the feeling of her scalp massage soothing her more than any Vanilla bubble bath could.

You hum in response before your lips part, vocalising your thoughts.

"I'm surprised you're not scared."

Pieck isn't one to be easily spooked, especially by some cheesy movie.

A tiny chuckle leaves her as her hand runs up your chest, her delicate palm trying to feel as much of you as it can.

"No. I'm not. I think it's an interesting idea."

You love that about her. There's just... something unique about Pieck Finger that you couldn't quite, well, put your finger on.

Her presence in your life was very much welcome, her soothing aura just screamed peace and harmony, especially within precious moments like this; where it's just the two of you lazing around without a care in the world. The snacks from early places gingerly on the floor as you cosied up together in your fortress of solitude.

Her name suddenly leaves her sweet lips, barely audible.

"Hm?" You reply, glancing down - not sure if you'd heard her actually mutter something.

"I love you." She vibrates with each syllable, her face once again pressing into your shirt as she inhales your scent. "So much."

"I love you too." You reply, giving her head a loving stroke of praise.

Her face caressing seems to get more desperate; adding more pressure and picking up the pace as she slowly slide herself down until her head is at your crotch, fingers eagerly hooking the rip of your pant line as she shimmies them down with a small, sly smirk.

You arch an eyebrow - intrigued that this moment is one that ignited the smouldering embers in the pit of her stomach, the urge to feel your flesh overtaking her desire to witness one of the best parts of the film.

Your heartrate that was at a nice, rested pace only moments ago begins to pick up as she wraps her small hand around your cock, her eyes furrowed as she begins to make out with your shaft. You didn't care for the slight confusion of this sudden act - the sensation of her soft lips against your hardening dick felt too good to question too much.

It felt even better as you grew in size, her tongue now coming into play as her kisses loudly smack against your length, her gorgeous eyes blinking up at you; gaze unfaltering as she pierces through to your very soul. Her thick black lashes flutter with a feign of innocence, her face so sweet and pretty as she now runs the side of her tongue up your size, the taste of you delighting her to the point of her nails on her free hand slightly sinking into your thigh.

"Sh~~it..." You hiss, your jaw slackening as you lovingly gather her hair so it wouldn't get in her way.

Her tongue circles the tip of your head, lapping up the pre-cum that's beginning to ooze from you in a heated yearning. She opens her mouth wider and encases you within her warm, wet cave; her movements slow but her seal nice and tight as her eyes close with how good you feel within her mouth, a hum from her vocals buzzing you slightly.

As she works you at a painful pace, her tongue drags up and down the underside of you, flicking up over your head at every ascent, sluggishly building your pleasure from the very foundation, her eyes once again snapping up to meet yours. She can't speak, but you know what she's saying from her gaze.

She's saying she loves how you ruin her face with your dick, and how she loves pleasuring you this way.

You bite your lip in appreciation followed by a groan of understanding, her saliva lubricating you more with each dip of her head as she takes you deeper. Her throat spasms around you, her gags and wretches tamed as she inhales deeply through her nose and taking it nice and timidly.

The grip you have on her head tightens and your legs tense, toes curling as you watch her fuck you with her mouth, the sight of her hollowed cheeks alone enough to send you feral, knowing it was your cock she was serving and yours alone.

You're not sure how long your admiring her, how much time has ticked by as you groan and hiss, but when she finally picks up the pace the end credits are rolling as your balls tighten under her hand as she softly caresses them.

"I'm gonna cum..." You warn, your breath lost as it quivers into the void of your lust. "It's gonna be a lot..."

She hums, signifying she's ready for it - her body shifts so she has better leverage as she takes you at a more quicker pace, her tongue never once faltering from her snake like flickers around you with each stroke.

You feel it building, squeezing - tighter and tighter. Your release imminent and no doubt huge as you frantically look for something - anything to grip to take out your joy.

You settle for her forearms, gripping them tightly as you feel your atomic detonation explode within her throat, your moan loud and eyes clasping shut while your hot, white ropes splutter with no grace what-so-ever down into her stomach, filling and overflowing her cheeks as she slows to a stop, swallowing ever single drop you give her.

You shudder and groan as you recover, as she gently tucks you back inside and replaces herself upon your chest with a satisfied smile and a sore jaw. It was worth it though; slightly giddy she grabs the remote and rewinds the movie back to her most recent memory of the scene she'd last saw.

"I love you, baby." She smiles snuggling into you and settling down to probably fall asleep upon your trembling body.

[ismokechurros]

misunderstandings - ao3

When his mark first appeared, he hated it. He was five and didn't quite like that the first thing he would ever hear his soulmate say would be

"I'm sorry."

What did that mean? Would his soulmate hurt him? Would that be the very first thing they did? That can't bode well for a long term relationship. 

Besides that depressing thought, another issue he had with it was how common it was. People apologized every day, how was he supposed to find her?

His first mistake was thinking it was his kindergarten teacher, who apologized after he ran into her feet. It was hard to explain to his parents why he got sent to the principal's office on his first day of school, hugging a teacher's leg and professing your undying love for them isn't exactly a common offense. 

After that, he tried not to get too excited when he heard those words. And as time went by, he succeeded. Slowly, his head stopped shooting up everytime someone near him apologized, his heart rate stopped skyrocketing when a passerby said sorry, he grew to feel the general disdain and doubt most feel in accompaniment with apologies. 

Those two, meaningless words scrawled at the top of his right bicep were left ignored and he went on forgetting they existed for the better part of 17 years.

----------

She was five when her mark appeared, too, though that seemed to be a common age for the mark's development so she wasn't exactly surprised. What she was surprised by was the 

"You're okay."

now sprawled on the bottom right side of her neck. An odd place for an odd mark. 

In her five-year-old indignation, she resented the fact that her mark was telling her what she was. She could be not okay if she wanted to be, who was her soulmate to tell her that she wasn't! 

A stupid fight to pick, and one she dropped after about two minutes. That was how long it took before the girl next to Nancy screamed and then started crying. Apparently, Amy didn't like that the first words her soulmate would say to her would be asking for her starbucks order. 

Nancy decided it could be worse.

---------

Working at The Claw can't be that bad, Nancy thinks as she enters the restaurant for her first day at work. She needs to get her mind off of her mother's death and making a few bucks in the process couldn't hurt. Plus, it would help ease the financial burden of college- if she still stood a chance of getting in, that is. Her senior grades (and attendance rate) weren't exactly "Columbia Material", no matter how good her essay was. 

Walking from the door to the back room, Nancy makes sure to take into account everything she sees on the way. Two truckers eating greasy cheeseburgers at the counter; a woman drinking coffee alone at a table; a family celebrating their daughter's graduation in a booth. Another reminder of the life Nancy won't get to lead.

Reaching up, Nancy rubs the side of her neck where she knows, under several layers of foundation, there's a reminder that she's okay. Her soul mark has grown to be something of a saviour for her these past couple months. A reassurance everytime it seemed her demons were getting a little too close to snuffing out her light, her crutch at her most debilitating moments. Nancy thinks, whoever her soulmate is, they must be a decent person if they’re able to give her this much comfort.

“Drew! Your uniform’s in the back, I’m not paying you to stand there and look pretty! You did enough of that in high school!” 

Ah yes, George. No matter how many times Nancy tries to proclaim her innocence, George refuses to believe she didn’t play a part in spreading the rumors that ruined her life in high school. And honestly, maybe she was right. Nancy may not have spread any rumors, but she definitely didn’t stop them. Maybe she does deserve George’s wrath. Besides, what’s another person added to the list of “People Nancy Drew Has Failed”. George can go right under her mom. 

At this rate, she might need to put more foundation on her mark.

“Now, Drew!”

Eh, she’ll do it at lunch.

-----------

One month in and Nancy thinks she’s got the job down pat. She’s at least doing better than some people. 

Dishes clatter in the kitchen as pots hit the floor. 

“Oops! Sorry!”

Speak of the devil. Nancy goes to the kitchen to help Bess, because Bess has needed nothing but help since the day George gave her the job, but when she opens the door she's met with a peculiar scene.

Bess, the endearing clutz she is, is on the floor trying to pick up the pots but somehow making a bigger mess. Ace, on the other hand, is just staring.

Nancy hasn’t known Ace very long, hasn’t even talked to him directly, but from what she’s seen he’s at least helpful. He cleans up after himself, stays late to do inventory, cleans out the grease traps, all without complaining. Yet here he is, staring at Bess on the floor and doing nothing.

Nancy wants to call out, ask why he isn’t helping, or at the very least say excuse me on her way to help Bess collect the pans, but oddly enough she can’t find the words. She just stares at him with that confused look on her face. 

It seems she doesn’t need to say anything, though. As if the question on her face was spoken aloud, Ace snaps out of his reverie and bends to help Bess. He’s smiling at her a little too much, and Nancy can tell where this is heading before he even opens his mouth. She decides to make a clean exit before she’s forced to watch him try and fail to shoot his shot with her royal waitress Bess.

------

Nancy just needs a minute. She needs a second to breathe. Serving her high school friends and having to listen to their patronizing and pitying tones while she can hear them laughing the second she turns around is not what she signed up for.

To make matters worse, she’s about one more rub away from her mark making its presence known and she doesn’t need the added stares today. She doesn’t quite understand the taboo of revealing your soulmark to others, but today may not be the best day to tackle generations worth of unnecessary forced modesty.

She rushes through the back door, the mocking sounds of laughter cut off as the door swings shut behind her. Apparently god isn’t on her side, though, because the second the door shuts, the freezer opens and Bess exits carrying boxes stacked a good foot higher than her. Boxes that topple over as she tries to close the freezer behind her.

Normally, Nancy would help Bess out. God knows she’s gotten used to it, and Bess is a nice enough girl that Nancy doesn’t totally hate doing it. But right now, the noise from the boxes is too loud and sounds suspiciously like laughter and Nancy can’t really breathe so she doesn’t think getting near the cold, thin air of the freezer is gonna help her.

And so she ignores Bess’ apologies and pleading eyes and instead barges through the backdoor, hoping to get some much needed air in the alleyway behind The Claw. Instead, she faceplants into a cotton cladded wall.

“I’m sorry.” 

She maneuvers around the person she ran into, avoiding eye contact and desperate for some space. She reaches the wall across from the door and puts a hand on the cool brick hoping it’ll help ground her. Leaning forward against the wall, the other hand immediately goes to her neck.

“You’re okay.”

Suddenly, struggling to breathe is less of an issue than not breathing altogether. 

Nancy slowly turns and stares at the man who she is destined to spend the rest of her life with.

Ace slowly blinks back.

“Are you okay?” He asks, concerned. Nancy can’t really respond, considering the fact that she can’t breathe.

“Woah, Nancy. You don’t look so hot.” Great, my soulmate thinks I’m ugly. Nancy urges herself to use her actual brain for a second instead of whatever it is she’s using now because obviously that one isn’t working.

Still, she says nothing. Ace takes the silence as an invitation to lean against the wall across from her. They continue to stare at each other; her like a deer in the headlights and him entirely too mellow for someone who just found their soulmate. Unless he didn’t.

That’s not a thought Nancy wants to have. But now that it’s out there, she can’t stop thinking about it. Does it work like that? Can the whole soulmate thing go unrequited? Some memory escapes the precipes of her mind, a brief chapter on soulmate history she had to read for class. It was her senior history class, so she didn’t really pay attention, but she does remember reading something in there about a rare percentage of the population that had one sided soul marks.  She also remembers thinking about how sad of a life they must lead.

And it's not like she's wrong about this, especially since Nancy’s heart feels like it’s about to explode and she instinctively knows the only thing that can calm her down is standing there, staring at her with glazed eyes.

“Want one?” Ace asks, materializing a blunt out of seemingly thin air. “They always help calm me down.” 

Now the glazed eyes make more sense. Nancy reaches for it without thinking, the brief touch of their fingertips as the weed changes hands works wonders for calming her down. She is finally thinking a little clearer, breathing a little easier. She stands taller and some of the tension escapes her body.

“See? Works wonders for the nerves.”

If he wants to attribute her abrupt demeanor shift to his weed, she won’t correct him. Instead, she thinks about how this is the first real time he has talked to her. She wishes it happened sooner, his voice reminds her of waves crashing on the shore and when he talks she thinks she’s found her happy place. She’s never hated herself more.

Taking a hit, she passes the blunt back to him and relishes in the little contact that brings about. How lame is it that she’s pining for a guy who is destined to be with someone else. 

“You seem more relaxed now, if you wanted to talk about anything, I’m here.”

She does. She wants to talk about how she feels more  at ease and safe with him, here in this alleyway, than anywhere else; how she hasn’t felt peace like this since her mom died; how he has a calming effect on her that she wishes she could use like a drug; how she’s scared it might become one.

But she can’t talk to him about that at all, because she knows that though her soul finds peace with his, his soul fits better with someone else's. She doesn’t want to guilt him into any half-assed relationship, figures it would be better to become his friend and get to experience the safety and comfort he exudes at a safe arms-length away.

Instead, she talks about the ways everything has gone wrong in the past year (she avoids bringing up how he could have been her first right thing in a while). He listens as he smokes through the whole blunt, his eyes getting heavier as she continues. She’s confident he won’t remember anything tomorrow, thankful she won’t have to explain her near-meltdown. But above all-else, she’s sad. She really is doomed to go through life alone, she doesn’t get anyone to help shoulder her pain. Maybe she doesn’t deserve it.

When she finishes her sob story, he thanks her for sharing it with him. She nods but doesn’t say anything, afraid of what she might reveal if she opens her mouth again.

“DREW!” An angry George calls from inside.

“That’s my cue.” She makes to leave but is stopped by an arm on her hand. She tries to ignore her heart screaming.

“Hey, I really liked talking to you. We haven’t really done that before.”

She nods, trying to make it seem like she just doesn’t want to talk and not like she physically can’t (not while he’s touching her).

He doesn’t let go, though. Instead, he stares at her with more consciousness in his eyes than she thought he would be capable of by now. 

“You’re not alone. I don’t know why, but I feel like you need to hear that.” His voice is soft and quiet and warm, low tide at sunrise.

Nancy’s eyes widen (though her heart warms) and he let’s go. She heads inside without another word, hand rubbing her neck on the way in.

Nancy decides to invest in neck ties.

[ijwrsmff]

Could I request the fluff alphabet for Kiibo? (Also your writing is really good! I loved your Shuichi alphabet post! 💕)

Thank you! I was nervous to post it because I’ve never written for Shuichi before (or Keebo) so I was worried it would be bad XD but I think it turned out okay! Hope you like this, and thank you for requesting! 

A-Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

He likes to have downtime with you. Watching movies, getting fast food, etc. He also won’t turn down playing video games with you. His secret pleasure is open world adventure games! Play skyrim with him...just do it. 

B-Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?) 

Keebo values open-mindedness. Not everyone would date a robot, so if you treated him like any other person it would melt his mechanical heart. Keebo doesn’t care about looks, you can be short, tall, long hair, short hair, he is a pansexual icon. 

C-Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack/etc.?)

He would immediately google how to make someone feel better and do his best to help. He’s never had a panic attack before, and he hasn’t been depressed so he has no firsthand experience with dealing with someone who does have depressive episodes or panic attacks. He’ll whisper to you comforting words and tell you how much he loves you. To try and help you feel better, he’d give you 100 compliments and say all of the things he loves about you (it’s everything).

D-Dreams (how do they picture their future with their s/o?) 

He likes to think about his future with you, it brings him a lot of happiness. He wants a house, and wants you to stay in his future as long as possible. He’s extremely committed so once you’re with him he plans to do everything in his power to keep you in his life. He loves you, and he may not always be the best about showing it, but he’ll do his best to paint a picture of your futures together. Whatever you want in the future, he’ll make sure to achieve it for you. 

E-Equal (are they the dominant one in their relationship or are they more passive?)

Keebo is in the middle, not particularly dominant but not exactly submissive either. It depends on his mood, sometimes he likes to take the reins but other times he’d prefer if you took control. 

F-Fight (would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?) 

He would be quick to forgive you for any fights you do get in. But he hates conflict, so fights are few and far between. He’d rather you talk out your differences and try not to get angry over things you do or say. 

G-Gratitude (How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?) 

At first, he doesn’t really understand relationships. But you showed him a whole new world, and for that he’s eternally grateful. He may ask questions about what he should or shouldn’t do, and he always respects your boundaries. He shows his gratitude through words, since he’s not the biggest on physical contact. 

H-Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?) 

Keebo is an open book when it comes to you. He’ll tell you anything and everything, ranging from what he did that day to his deepest thoughts. He wants a partner who can tell him everything just like he tells you, and he believes honesty is one of the most important qualities there is. 

I-Inspiration (Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?) 

You changed him on every level, because of you he’s more understanding about the world. You showed him what love is, and opened up endless possibilities for the future. 

J-Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?) 

He won’t admit it, but he can get pretty jealous. He doesn’t express it much, but you’ll know he’s jealous if he gives you more physical contact than usual. He’ll hold you hand and take you away from situations he thinks could be dangerous. (And in his mind talking to strangers can be dangerous, you never know what they do in their spare time or if they have the intent to hurt you.) 

K-Kiss (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?) 

He may not be the best kisser, but he makes up for it with enthusiasm. Your first kiss he was red as can be, but he had the desire to try it. He’d never kissed anyone before you, so he doesn’t have much experience. But once the first kiss is over the second...and third...and tenth kiss followed soon after. In a way, he becomes addicted to it. He kisses you every chance he gets. 

L-Love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

Chances are, you would have to be friends before he asked you out. He needs a solid foundation before jumping into the deep end. He’d watched a hundred youtube videos of the best way to ask someone out and apply them when he does ask you out. He was nervous, because he’d heard of the “friendzone” and didn’t want to ruin your friendship. But he would work up the courage to ask you out over time. He was very nervous...but when you said yes? It’s the happiest he’s been in his life. 

M-Marriage (do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?) 

Keebo desperately wants to get married, but he’ll wait until you both feel ready to do so. He doesn’t want to rush it, and relishes in the time he gets to spend with you. Once you're married, he becomes a lot more physically affectionate. And he will cuddle with you for hours whispering “mine” to you with a huge smile on his face. 

N-Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?) 

He isn’t big on nicknames, so hearing them is rare. But occasionally he’ll call you love. He prefers your name though, and uses it often. He thinks names are special, and he absolutely loves to say your name. 

O-On cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious to others? How do they express their feelings?)

When he’s in love it’s extremely obvious. Mostly because he won’t let go of your hand. You’re attached near constantly. He never thought he would like physical affection, but once he’s in love he can’t get enough of it. 

P-PDA (are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?) 

He won’t be big on PDA at first, but once you’re in love it’s near constant. He’s always holding your hand, and if he thinks someone is looking at you he may get jealous and kiss you in front of them. Just to let them know you’re taken. 

Q-Quirk (some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship?) 

His enthusiasm makes the relationship stay interesting. He’s willing to try anything for you, be it a new food place or something more romantic. He’s new to relationships, but he always seems enthusiastic to try something new. Especially if he knows you really like it. 

R-Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliche or rather creative?) 

He’d do anything...anything to make you happy. He can be pretty cliche, romantic candlelit dinners or walks on the beach, but if it makes you happy he’d do it over and over again. His happiness is secondary to yours in his eyes. So even if you try something he doesn’t like he’d do it again as long as you were happy. 

S-Support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?) 

He has all the faith in the world for you. Whatever you decided you wanted to do with your life he’s your number 1 fan. He’ll help you whenever you need it, and wants nothing more than to see you achieve your dreams. 

T-Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice up their relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?) 

Again...he’s trying anything for you. He doesn’t care if you stay safe and enjoy the simple pleasures, but if you want to try something new he’s always open to it. 

U-Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?) 

He makes it his goal to learn everything about you. He loves you, and wants to know everything there is to know. 

V-Value (how important is the relationship to them? What’s it worth in comparison to other things in their life?) 

Your love means the world to him. You become his priority rather quickly, and once you’re in love there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do so you stay with him. If you broke up with him...his world would shatter. He places you as his number 1 priority. 

W-Wild Card (a random fluff headcanon)

Hand holding is his favorite thing in the world. At first he was reluctant, and couldn’t see what all the hype was about, but after he tried it he was hooked. He loves that he can show you he cares by doing something as simple as holding hands. 

X-Xoxo (are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

In public he keeps it simple, hand holding here and a few kisses there, but as soon as you’re in private he loves to give you more intimate kisses and is always ready to cuddle. Big spoon, little spoon, one on top of the other, he doesn’t care. He just wants contact. 

Y-Yearning (how will they cope when they’re missing their partner?) 

When he misses you he calls you...a lot. He just needs to hear your voice. It soothes him in a way. For him-leave him voicemails (on the rare occasion he doesn’t answer) and he’ll go back and listen to them when he misses you. 

Z-Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for their relationship? If so, what kind of?) 

He’d move mountains for you, if you need anything just ask him and he’ll provide it for you. You’re hungry? He’s already ordered you food. Your back hurts? He’s ready to give you a massage. You want to cuddle? He’s on it. Anything for you. 

[rafesbabyg1rl]

The Watcher ~ Part Two

Part One, Part Three

Summary: Rafe Cameron x Reader, Stalker!Rafe x Pogue!Reader Your parents work late on Friday nights, which you spend alone. Except you haven't been alone in a long time, not that you know of at least. Rafe has watched for years, he's very good at it. His idea of staying an anonymous stalker is ruined when you catch him in your bedroom one Friday night. Rafe has to figure out how to fix his mistake before he loses the only thing that makes his life worth living. After you find the surprise he had left for you, you choose to believe that his threats were empty and try to turn him in. But, your plans are interrupted and you take an unexpected visit to Tannyhill.

Warnings: Rafe stalks reader...that's literally the plot. Strong & descriptive language, suggestive themes, death threat(?), manipulation, kidnapping (?). If I missed anything from this part that I should include in the warnings, please let me know!

Word Count: 3.5k

Author Note: Part Two is here!! I know this chapter is shorter than the previous, but I figured it's better to get what I had out. Also...I'm not sure if I like where this is going, so please share your thoughts about this part and ideas for future parts. Thank you all for the support on the first part of this story. Especially with this being my first work I've published on tumblr, I am very pleasantly surprised with how everyone has reacted to it. So, please enjoy and feel free to leave feedback! I love you all, thank you so much!!

CREDITS: The foundation of this fic was heavily inspired by/ based off of one of @faiszt 's bots on character ai. So, if you like this and you like character ai, I greatly suggest that you check out the bot!

The blinding morning light shines into your room through your curtains. You sit up and rub your eyes. You glance at the digital clock on your nightstand which currently reads: 10:34 am. Those sleeping pills really worked, you think. Your parents are already at the restaurant, probably just getting over with the morning rush. 

Your eyes begin to focus, your brows furrow as your eyes land on one of the posts of your footboard. You lean forward to grab the pair of panties you had just worn yesterday which are hanging from your bedpost. You’re pretty sure you had put these in your hamper last night and wait, why are they sticky…? You wonder, you examine them and come to the realization of what it is. Immediately you toss them away, that was not from you. It was your stalker, it had to be. Of course, the first night you spend alone since four weeks ago and he already breaks in. And he does this? You think about his words, “tell anyone and I’ll come back and fuckin’ kill you”, shivers roll down your spine. 

You hadn’t even had time to realize how horny you had been when you had woken up; and now that you have you feel so wrong. But your dream…oh god your dream. You can still remember it vividly, even more so the longer you think about it; you can see the face of the man who fucked you stupid in your dream. You know who it was, who your subconscious mind let you fuck while you slept. It was your stalker. 

Without another thought, you’re in the shower scrubbing the shame and disgust from your skin—or at least attempting to. When you feel somewhat satisfied, which also happens to be when the water begins to run cold, you finally get out. Wrapping a plush towel around your freshly clean body, you lean over the bathroom sink and wipe the condensation from the mirror leaving just enough space to see yourself. Before the glass fogs back up you’re able to see a small part of what appears to be a bruise poking out from underneath the towel wrapped around your chest. You lean in closer using one hand to re-wipe the mirror and using the other to pull your towel down past your boobs. Looking back at the bruised area on your chest, you can see that the closer you look at it, the more it looks like a hickey. You just about stumble backwards at the realization. 

You’ve had enough. After you quickly toss on some clothes, you grab your keys off your dresser with a shaky hand. You rush out towards your car and get inside, pulling out of your driveway carelessly and speeding off. When you arrive at your destination, you take a few moments to rethink this plan. You have to do this. You can’t keep living with some creep sneaking in your bedroom and touching you as you sleep. You twist the keys in the ignition and pull them out, you confidently strut towards the entrance of the building. When you feel the vibration of your phone in your pocket you pause, sighing as you reach back to take it out. When you read the random number, with the same Outer Banks area code as you, your brows furrow. Typically you wouldn’t answer a call from an unknown number, but something in you is telling you to answer. As you press the green button and bring your phone to your ear, you glance up at the building you were about to enter which reads, ‘Kildare County Sheriff’s Office’. 

“Hello?” You ask warily.

After a few long seconds, the person on the other side of the line answers you. “Stop.” The man’s voice sends familiar chills down your spine. 

“Excuse me?” You respond, your voice audibly shaky. “Who…who is this?”

“C’mon pup, you already forgot what I sound like? It’s already been that long?” Your eyes widen at the realization of who this voice belongs to. You’ve heard it one other time, well one time that you remember.

As your head darts around the parking lot looking for your stalker, your voice comes out in a tone that easily betrays you, revealing your fear, “No…no…what the hell do you want?”

Rafe smirks from his truck as he watches you from afar. “I want you to turn around and get back in your car, m’kay princess? And I highly suggest you do what I want.” 

“Or what? What’s stopping me from walking in? Or from yelling for help?” You take a step closer to the building’s entrance.

“Stubborn, stubborn girl…” the man chuckles, “If you don’t get back into your fucking car right now, you’re gonna really fuckin’ wish you had just listened to me. I’m gonna get what I want no matter what, baby. You’re mine.” And with that, Rafe hangs up the phone, still watching you from a distance. 

As much as you want to just run into the building and beg for help, you know that unfortunately since you’re a pogue, the cops aren’t going to believe a single word that comes from your mouth. In their minds, all pogues are liars and thieves. And since you don’t have the slightest clue on who the man you saw in your bedroom is, you figure there’s not much they’d be able to do even if they did believe you. So you reluctantly turn back to your car and get inside. The moment your door shuts you inside, your phone buzzes yet again with another call. It’s coming from the same number, but this time you don’t answer. This was your second mistake. 

Rafe’s already pissed off. You went against his rules, you didn’t listen to him, none of this will work if you don’t listen. He thought he had been threatening enough that you’d behave, but clearly you need another scare. You need to be taught that disobeying him does nothing but hurt you more. When you don’t answer the phone when you definitely know it’s him calling, this is just the cherry on top; the icing on the cake. Rafe is fuming. 

You drive out of the parking lot, breath heavy as you stay on high alert–searching for him. A truck suddenly pulls behind you, tailing right on your ass. You can’t see through the truck's front windshield due to the dark tint. You being paranoid, step on the gas and speed up a bit, well exceeding the speed limit. A few quick seconds pass by and you jump at the sound of sirens. It doesn’t take long for you to check your rearview mirror and realize that the sirens are coming from the truck behind you, which is flashing its red and blue lights. You let out a breath of relief. You’re being pulled over yet you’re relieved because it means you aren’t being trailed by your stalker. The feeling is short lived as you flick your signal on and pull off to the side of the road. You roll your window down and shut off the engine.

The officer approaches you and goes through the typical routine and you try to calm your nerves. All sound is drowned out as you get lost in your thoughts. 

“Ma’am?”, the officer repeats. “Do you know why I’ve pulled you over today?”

The sharp and unintentionally threatening voice of the deputy snaps you out of wherever the hell it was that your mind had taken you to. “Yes, sorry sir, I…I was going over the speed limit.” You submit, wanting to get this over with. You can’t help but worry what your stalker would think if he saw this, he’d probably think you’re turning him in. But, you’re not. Really this whole thing was a misunderstanding, but you can’t explain that to the cop. 

“And why is that?” He questions you ever further, his gaze staring at you intensely. You get nervous and want to look away, but you worry that might make you look guilty of something. You’ve been pulled over before, it’s not usually a big deal for you. However you’re just so goddamn nervous and need this moment to be over. You feel like you’ve done something wrong; like you’re hiding something. But you aren’t.

“I–I thought…I just got distracted sir, wasn't thinking about speed. I apologize for the inconvenience.” You catch yourself, technically you aren’t lying; you just aren’t explaining why you were distracted. The threatening words of your stalker still echo around your head. The deputy gives a small lecture as he writes up a ticket for you. Once he gets back into his truck and drives off, you rest your head back against the seat and let out the breath you’ve been holding. When you start your car back up and finally open your eyes, you look straight out across the road. You can see a tall man leaning against a truck parked across the road, staring right at you. The familiar grin on his face has you sick to your stomach. 

After making direct eye contact with him, you pull off the side of the road and do an illegal U-turn so that you’re heading in the opposite direction, leaving the man behind. You know that he’s following you, so you drive around aimlessly until you get another call from the same unknown number. You want to decline, but you’re too afraid to face the consequences that might follow. 

“What do you want?” You ask, voice full of faux confidence. The only thing you hear on the other side of the line is a heavy breath that causes your skin to become full of goosebumps. 

After you’ve had a few moments to panic, he finally speaks, “Keep driving”. His words are not said lightly. This is undoubtedly a command, not an option. 

“Keep driving to where?” You stammer with nervousness. 

“Tannyhill.” He replies strictly. 

“Tannyhill?” You question before being able to stop yourself. You can’t help the attitude that slips into your voice. When a few more moments of silence pass, you get more and more anxious for his response. “Hello…?” You ask quietly, wondering if you lost connection. Still nothing. “Hello?” You ask again with more volume. After another minute or two, you hear the phone beep; the call disconnects. 

Why the hell does he want you to go to Tannyhill? It doesn’t make any sense. But you don’t exactly have a choice. He’s following you either way and it’s not like he doesn’t know where you live…and just about everything about your life. So, it’s probably best to just play along and obey his commands. 

When you get close to the general destination, your phone rings with yet another call. You answer, already knowing who it's from. This time you don’t speak first, you wait to hear what he has to say. It takes a few moments, almost like he’s trying to wait long enough that you’ll talk. The silence starts to get unbearably awkward, but your mind is set on waiting for him to speak and Rafe doesn’t have the time to wait; having to give you directions and all. When he finally talks he doesn’t greet you. His voice breaking the silence startles you as he instructs you with the directions to get wherever it was he was forcing you to go. 

“Wait…turn left h-here?” You ask, confused at his directions. You had missed the beginning of what he said since you had to collect yourself after being frightened. 

He sighs in impatience, “No dammit, the next one. Were you not listening?” 

“I…no I-I was listening–” you stumble over your words as you turn onto the street he wanted you to. 

“Bullshit. You need to learn how to fucking listen to me, don’t you?” When you don’t respond, trying to focus on remembering the directions he gave you, it only serves to piss him off even further. “Huh?! Don’t you?!” He shouts into the phone as he follows behind you.

You whine in fear, “No..I can listen. I promise I can listen to you.” You practically beg. “J-just tell me where to go?”

Rafe directs you to his house, which you of course recognize as the Cameron’s mansion. You’ve heard about the Cameron’s, but you wouldn’t be able to point them out in a crowd or anything. Besides from the father, Ward Cameron, whom you’ve seen on the news several times. Is he a Cameron? As you park in the large driveway, you rack your brain trying to recall the name of the Cameron son. 

His truck parks behind you, blocking your car in. He quickly kills the engine and exits his vehicle. You don’t notice him walking up to you until he’s yanking your car door open and pulling you out by the arm.

“R-rafe?” You mumble insecurely. He pauses to look at you, chuckling at your words. He mutters a quick ‘smart girl’ before retightening his grip on your arm and continuing to pull you into the large mansion. You start to cry, getting overwhelmed as you imagine the many possible scenarios that may occur. “P-please,” you manage to choke out. “What do you want?”

Unlike the last time you cried to him, this time he doesn’t stop. He drags you up one level of the large, spiral staircase; pulling you into his bedroom. As soon as you see the bed, you’re already feeling it beneath your back when he shoves you down just a few seconds later. As if you hadn’t already embarrassed yourself enough, you can’t help the tears that begin to stream down your flushed cheeks at a flooding rate. 

“Wait…no, please, please!” The way you keep shouting and choking back sobs causes you to gag from how worked up you’ve gotten yourself. All the Cameron son does in response is lean back to get a full view of you as a smug grin spreads across his face. “Please, I—oh god, I’m gonna be sick…” You mumble, which is quickly followed by another gag that interrupts your constant sobs. 

Rafe snakes his hand up from your arm to your hair, wrapping his first tightly around a large section of it. He tugs on your hair to force your head to look up at him, causing a small whine to escape your lips. “Shhh…baby, shhh…” He mumbles, his ‘worried’ tone working to oppose his previous amused expression. “Calm down, alright? Calm down. Ain’t gonna do nothin’ you don’t want, m’kay pretty girl?” The way he says that last part…you’ve never heard his voice sound like that before. You didn’t even think he was capable of talking in that tone. He sounds like he might actually truly care about you. You’re relieved; maybe even a bit…comforted by the fact that he might be telling the truth about not doing anything you don’t want. Well, besides having you basically held captive in his home. 

“What…what are you gonna do?” You manage to choke out between sobs, trying to catch your breath so you can calm down.

“I just wanna talk to you baby. Alright?” Rafe mumbles your name into your ear, allowing you to feel his hot breath against the side of your face. Immediately you’re taken back to the first time you had met him, in your bedroom a few weeks back. You try to push that aside and bring yourself back to the present; the memory only brings back the feelings of complete and utter fear you experienced at that time. Not that the present was any better, hell, it was worse. 

Hesitantly, you nod. He waits a few minutes to speak; waiting for you to catch your breath. Once you’re calmer, at least on the outside, he finally starts to talk. “I wanted to talk about my proposition…” He looks down at you, bringing his hand up to cautiously run through your hair. “Last time I got cut short…remember that?”

You nod. “I…I tried to warn you my parents would come home. I-I swear I didn’t tell them anything.” You say frantically, trying to prove your innocence.

“Hey, shh…it’s okay babe. I know. I know.” Rafe speaks slowly, his eyes never leaving your lips. He pauses to momentarily dart his tongue out to wet his parted lips. “I know. You haven’t told…you’ve been a good girl and listened to me, hm? Haven’t you baby? Haven't you been a good girl?” 

You nod frantically. “I…I’d never turn you in…” The false seductiveness in your voice turns him off, if that’s even possible. 

He pulls back from you and sighs, “Shut up.” He runs a rough hand over his buzzed head and begins to quickly pace across his bedroom. 

“B-but you wanted to talk…” You remind him. The way his attitude was constantly shifting in great amounts had you furrowing your brows as you tried to figure him out. 

“Yeah, I do. But not to a goddamn filthy, lying whore.” He retorts, a large grin appearing on his face while he watches your beautiful features move on your face, displaying your thoughts  as you take in his words. “Just be yourself alright? I can always tell when you’re not you.” He says almost sincerely. “I want…I need you to want this. Don’t try to pull that fake crap on me ever again, yeah?” 

Immediately you nod. “I…yes-”, you stammer, instantly regretting even trying to talk in the first place. Rafe chuckles, making your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He stops pacing and lets out a long sigh, turning to face you again. His steps pause when he’s standing just before you. 

He leans down to whisper in your ear. “I really need this to work, okay…? This is good, this can be good for the both of us. I can help you; we can help each other, baby.” A silent tear rolls down your cheek from the fear of what’s to come. “I know…I know I messed up, alright? I know. But, you don’t have to be scared, baby. It’s all gonna be okay.” He brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

“Please…I just wanna go home, let me go home!” Your cries are ugly, and very, very real. The fear in your voice only worries him. Worries him that you may never get past this. But you have to. You don’t have another option. And he really, really doesn’t want to have to hurt you. That was never his intention. 

“But you are home, baby. You are home.” He mutters as his fingers brush over your cheeks, smearing your tears. Your breath hitches at his words and your eyes slowly move up to meet his. This cannot be happening. Why is this happening? You think.

“No…please I…just let me go home. I won’t tell. I promise I won’t. I’ll…I’ll never tell anyone about any of this okay, I’ll never say anything about you.”

“I can’t do that, baby…you know I can’t do that.”

“Why not? I swear, I’ll never ever breathe a word of this to anyone.” You say enticingly.

Rafe sits down besides you, causing the mattress to dip and make you lean towards him. He puts an arm around you and his hand lands on the back of your head, pulling it into his chest.

He leans down to speak into your ear while his hand pets over your hair as you cry into his chest. “Because I need you baby, I need you. And I need you to let me take care of you, yeah? I know…I know you’re scared, but you don’t have to be. Just trust me okay…we’re gonna be so good together baby.” He tugs at your hair, gently guiding your face to look up at him. “Just listen to me and nothing will happen, I don’t wanna have to…do anything. I just need to know that you’ll listen to what I say.” Immediately you nod, going along with what he says. He tugs on your hair harder, eliciting a gasp to fall from your lips. “Ah ah, I know you can talk. You’re a big girl, now fucking act like it.” He says forcefully.

“I-I’m gonna listen, I’ll listen to you, just please, please don’t hurt me.”

He smiles softly as his eyes dart across your face, unable to pick a feature to focus on, everything about you is just too damn perfect. “Don’t worry I won’t hurt you, not as long as you listen.” His grip loosens on your hair again. “But you’ll be begging for it soon enough.” Rafe’s whispers are enough to make your sobs start again; in which he pulls your head back into his chest. Your tears soak into his shirt as you have no choice but to cry into him.

To be continued...

Thank you for reading! I hope this was enjoyable. This part took quite a bit for me to finish, since life has been a bit busy and I haven't had much time to plan or write. I apologize for the short chapter, I'll try my best to make up for it with the next part! I never really feel done with anything and as I said before I'm not sure if I'm a fan of this part or not. So, if you have literally ANY feedback, questions, or suggestions, PLEASE feel free to let me know! I don't really have any solid plans for this fic so if you have any ideas I just might include them in future parts. And there's not much I won't write!

[uwumessenger]

random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

[thefanficmonster]

I'm so happy you like the idea! Your first three words are: Rattle, Candlelight and Corset.

Oh this is gonna be interesting 🤭

Regretting

Pairing: Chris Redfield x Female OC (taken in by the Winters family as a daughter of theirs basically)

Warnings: Swearing (No Spoilers for any games don’t worry😊)

Genre: Romance, Fluff

Enjoy the mess my brain’s produced. Love, Vy ❤

“I have several questions surrounding this bullshit event!“ Gwen shouts from inside her room where she’s been getting ready for the past hour with the Captains of the BSAA keeping a watchful eye outside her door, making sure she doesn’t get any ideas of running away.

“I have as many as you do, trust me on that one.“ He replies, readjusting his tie. He hasn’t found himself in a three-piece-suit in a long time, all’s been soldier get-ups, bulletproof wests and combat boots. Truth be told, it’s not that he doesn’t want to dress nicely, he’s just rarely had any occasions worth dressing up for. Lord knows he’d be at home in this very moment, seated on the couch with a cold beer bottle in his hand. So to make the truth truer - he actively avoids places and events that would require him dressing up. It’s simply a hassle in and of itself, but dealing with the people at the even - that’s what he’s most bothered by.

“You cannot expect me to believe that’s the truth!“ Gwen shouts again, the sound of shuffling accompanying her voice. 

“Leon said it was important, Jill backed him up and you know I rarely get a say when the two of them partner up to support one another.“ Chris says, sighing while reaching for a cigarette before withdrawing his hand, remembering he didn’t take his pack with him on purpose. Claire says he needs to break the habit little by little so, in order to give her peace of mind, he does try whenever she’s looking. However, when she turns away, he’s quick to light a cig, almost as quick as a dying man getting connected to life support.

“You, Leon and I have very different definitions of the word ‘important’.“ She sasses back, her voice now being the only sound coming from the room which is a sign Chris cannot decide the meaning of - is she almost done? Is she starting over with everything? Either way, he doesn’t mind. Running late to the gala the mayor’s throwing is not particularly bothering him, he actually prefers it.

What’s been bothering him is the fact that he’s found himself impatient of something else. Impatient of seeing her - not that he’d ever admit it. Him and Gwen have been friends for quite some time. Well, they did get off on the wrong foot, but were quick to arrange a relationship alike a friendship and function without wanting to gauge each other’s eyes out. Somewhere along the lines they became actual friends without even noticing.

Gwen Winters had every right to be suspicious of Captain Chris Redfield. Not that she was always wary of him or anything - seeing as how him and her ‘parents’ are friends, she never thought twice about the guy. However, when she expressed interest in joining the BSAA and earned herself a scoff from him, she was rather pissed. Being the main chemistry project of an asshole with a saving-the-world complex back in Raccoon City, it’s safe to say she got some above average strength to her name. And that’s putting it mildly. Being rescued from that lab by Leon and getting taken in by the Winters family, she’s developed her own hero complex, the need to save those who can’t save themselves always dwelling within her.

And so, despite the amusement Chris showed when she brought up the idea, she became a BSAA soldier. 

“I think we established that on your very first mission, soldier.“ Chris chuckles, recalling that first mission he was so opposed to, mostly because Gwen was tagging along at her request and the allowance of Leon. He was very fucking afraid they’d have to carry her dead body out of there but the action was quick to turn the tables on him - having Gwen save his life more than once. What surprised him most though was her humbleness about it. She didn’t rub it in or nag him about having proved her point. She was just glad they had all made it out in one piece and that struck him with a whole new intensity. Almost like a wake up call.

The door beside him suddenly swings open, causing him to abruptly straighten up from his leaning position, shooting a look at the doorway from which emerges Gwen. Or at least he believes it’s her. Had he not known she was the only other person in the house at the moment, or had he seen her passing by on the street he wouldn’t have recognized her.

And he’d have every right not to: this must be the first time she has worn a dress since prom - if she even wore one then - and the same probably applies for the make-up she’s put on. It’s not much or anything, in fact the only reason he’s noticed it is because he’s so used to seeing her make-up-free face. So much so, he’d recognize even a drop of foundation if she applied it. And oh boy, is he whipped by the sight. He can lie all he wants and to whoever he wants to, but he cannot lie to himself. Especially not when his jaw has fallen to the floor, his eyes have grown wide and his heartbeat has picked up noticeably.

If Ethan could hear at least half of what Chris is thinking at the moment, he’d be as good as banned from the Winters home forever.

When Gwen’s eyes meet her Captain’s, she can’t help but smirk, “What is it, Cap? I exchange the bulletproof vest for a corset and you suddenly don’t recognize me?” She asks, raising a teasing eyebrow.

He knows it’s wrong, for so many reasons: He’s her captain, she’s his soldier; She’s an adult but he’s still significantly older than her; She’s the ‘daughter’ of a friend of his, to make matters even worse - It’s so wrong yet he can’t get the thought out of his head. It’s not just now, it’s something he’s been struggling with for quite some time. He’s constantly haunted by her: the sound of her laughter, her smile, that focused frown that appears every time she is looking at a map or a new case, analyzing its every detail, the twinkle in her eyes whenever she gets told she’ll be going on a mission and that same sparkle growing brighter when she returns from it having successfully completed it.

It’s all overwhelming, and in the nicest, wrongest way possible.

“Honestly, Winters, seeing such a shift does rattle a person. Especially when I haven’t seen you out of a soldier’s uniform for years now.“ He comments, his eyes traveling up and down her body on their own accord, despite his best attempts at keeping his gaze on her face.

She laughs, “Can’t really go to training in a dress and high heels, you know. If I had more opportunities, the dresses in my closet wouldn’t be covered in spiderwebs.“

“Duly noted.“ He smirks, offering the young lady his hand as he leads her down the stairs, “I could help you out with that.“

She frowns, pausing mid-step, “Oh no, no, no no. If what you have in mind is a bunch of charity events, you better get that thought out of your head. A bunch of rich assholes drinking champagne, really not my scene.”

Chris chuckles offering her his arm as they walk out the front door to where he parked his car upon arriving at the Winters home, running into Ethan, Mia and their five year old daughter, about to head out for the night. He won’t complain about the lecturing he received, he deserved it after all. It’s a miracle the two even agreed to let Gwen accompany him, not that they could stop her either way seeing as how she’s an adult woman who’s more than capable of making her own decisions.

“No, no, I know you hate those events. I do too.“ He says, oddly timidly as the two get seated in the car. “I was thinking more along the lines of...“ He contemplates how to say it without making the rest of this night awkward, or mess things up with Gwen in any way. She means a lot to him and he’d hate to lose her over his complicated feelings he wishes he could control. “Dinner under candlelight, maybe?“

He’s as stiff as a boulder, tense and expecting something, anything. Literally anything, even outright rejection would be better than silence. Regardless of her answer, he’s gonna regret this move later when Ethan hears about it and goes to kick his ass.

Out of the corner of his eye, he catches the slight shake of her head, a blush evidently appearing on her cheeks, visible even in the dim light in the car. A small smile graces he features as her hand travels to his which is nervously resting on the gear shift. “Sure, I’d like that.” She says, her smile growing wider.

There’s that same twinkle - the sparkle in the eyes of a soldier willing to fight for the greater good, putting everyone above herself. And, on his hierarchy, she’s number one.

“I’m glad.“

Chris Redfield has regretted many things in his life and will probably regret even more in the future. However, he was a fool to think he’d regret this decision - one look at Gwen’s eyes and all regret was erased. All ass-kicking he might receive for it seems more than worth it, looking at it from the perspective of this very moment.

Then again, Captain Chris Redfield has never been a stranger to a little ass-kicking.

Thank you so much, Anon for this super fun challenge! I hope to receive more three words to turn into fics cause I really enjoyed this experience 🥰

[life-rewritten]

Lovely Writer Ep 1; An Introduction to Ambition, Masks and Secret Goals

We did it, guys! After trying hard to get back into this writing groove thing, I think I have found it, the show that will make me want to write. And we all say What??  Oh, my word was the first episode of Lovely writer so great. From the first moment the show starts, you can tell there's meta, it's calling out the BL industry; sarcastically, with comedy, shallowness, and yet there's this air of secrecy and depth to it. It's funny because the industry's problems made fun of are essentially going to be our big villain of the show, the thing that's going to try and rip our couple apart. So to see the first episode already lay a foundation for us to start realising the disconnect with what's being done on the surface vs what's being truly displayed secretly shows us already this show is playing with the ideas of masks and the lengths it would take to actually survive in this world/industry portrayed in the show. The thing as well is we are watching this show through the lens of Gene; he's also someone who's become very disconnected with how he feels about the problematic elements of this industry vs how people want him to think about it; they want him to thrive off it, to use it for his ambition, to use it to make himself known. So already, we are also introduced to the theme of ambition and the theme of secrets. The characters are acting in a way to get something done for them, and yet they're hiding their truths to please something; the industry, a person of power, or just something they want. And that's fascinating already to start with. That's already going to be fun to unpack and write about.

I just really love how deep this show is already becoming;  hidden with comedy and romance, we see depth, we see realism and calling out issues that we face in the real world concerning the BL genre, and still, we see yet, a love story brewing as well, it's a perfect combination. Or is it? And not to be so fully surprised, I did say that Tee is a great director, he made TharnType mean something to me, and that's because he hides his themes and his actual message behind layers and layers of subtext, he focuses on flaws of characters, but he makes them feel real, yet he also tackles real conversations about things that happen in real life and hides it behind a passionate romance and comedy. That's why this is so great for me. In already episode 1, Tee has shown up and done everything I knew he could do with Lovely Writer, and I am so freaking excited. The words are pouring out of me. Once the show started, I wanted to write, analyse and talk about this show.  I wanted to bring to the surface the meta, the subtext, the foreshadowings and the character depth. I am truly ready for this show, and I hope you all are too. So episode 1, how were we introduced to the themes of the show so far; well, let's find out.

An Introduction to Ambition, Masks and Secrets

So the show starts off as a typical romantic comedy Bl; at first, you are like, it's funny they keep mentioning these little truths about the genre and the industry. It makes sense; we're seeing the story through the eye of a frustrated writer in the industry who has to do a lot to be part of it, so it is funny but also surreal to see the issues being brought up about the industry. Because of this, you know this show is meta. It's taking its self not seriously, but it's actually serious below the surface. So immediately, my sensors start to ping, could there be more depth to this story, are there hints showing us what to look out for, is there more to what Tee wants to say with this show. And actually, the first thing is the introduction to Aey. They mention him at first during the casting call discussion; the way they introduce him is interesting to me because I know he's an obstacle to our story. He's a love rival, and he's sneaky.

Aey is an interesting villain if you wanna call him that. He's obviously going to be a barrier, and you know, his smile on his face seems like a mask, not particularly for evil, just something he has to use to get his way. Just like Nubsib, he's faking an image, and we see his real face in the bathroom, this episode. Especially when he looks through some comments and tweets, which I don't know what it's about because there were no subs, but I'm guessing either mentioned his sexuality or how cute how he and Nubsib will be together or something else that pokes at his insecurity. Right now, he's ambitious,  his thoughts are on succeeding, and so he acts docile, nice and friendly to get what he wants; however, we can see that the reason why he's right now trying to get Nubsib's attention isn't because of love; it's because of the job, of wanting to keep appearances, of knowing this would make him more successful, this will make them famous and please their growing shipping fandom.

That's the exciting thing; the question is, does he really like Nubsib or is he just faking it. Is there more to his connection with Nubsib? Also, just the fact that he's not a one-note character but he already seems to have layers is so exciting for me; this show is already doing what I hope it would do for me, it's being meta, secretive, smart, structured and still having comedy and romance on the surface. These characters all seem to have layers, truths hidden and interesting reasons for why they do what they do. That's fascinating to me. So because of that one scene where we see Aey almost break his mask and then go back to putting it on to please people and write on his social media, I'm already seeing the theme of ambition in this series. I see it in Gene, Nubsib (for Gene mostly), Aey, even Hin, who's a bit interesting with his own want to write and need to be noticed. Interesting.

The lengths our characters have to go through to achieve their ambitions might make them take on masks that they aren't particularly comfortable with, and also isn't an accurate display of their own values and truths but never the less they have to do this to achieve their ambition.

Gene: The Mask Of A Writer

We can see Gene isn't really a fan of BL writing and the tropes associated with it. In fact, he deplores it, he finds it hard to write about, and he doesn't think there's any substance to them. His focus is that what they portray is shallow, unimportant and toxic, just like how he sees the industry promoting them. It's why he's fine being an introvert; he feels safer in the confines of his home doing what he loves to do; writing, but he's decided, letting people in is not worth it. Mostly people from his industry who seem callous at times, greedy at best, and just corruptive. He disagrees with that and tends to want to distance himself from that. But what can he do? He wants to write, he wants to survive by doing what he loves to do, he wants to thrive in his job; however, he has to make sacrifices to get to that goal where he can comfortably write what he wants.

He's not really comfortable there, he wants to write something else (something with more depth, something with more understanding, something that makes him feel like him), but he can't, so he takes on a mask to keep on doing whatever he can for his ambition.  Writing is all Gene seems to have, from constantly being tired, irritated, and too focused on it to even take care of the state of his house, of himself, and of his relationships. Nothing is more important than writing. That's his ambition, what makes him happy, what makes him safe, what makes him comfortable. And that's very relatable; as an introverted writer my self, Gene finds an escape from the real world when he puts his mind at work, and he creates however slowly, the love and excitement he has for writing are being shadowed by the lack of belonging he feels for the genre he has to write about. The moral conflicts, the uncomfortable topics and just overall the shallow results of his stories. They don't mean anything to him, just a way for ends meet. And that must be incredibly frustrating and tiring. Yet Gene has to do it to get his ambitions done.

That's why it's funny/important that Nubsib is invading his space. Nubsib's presence is showing up and unravelling Gene's masks, his truths, his reality. Nubsib is pushing Gene out of his act and making him question his ambition and truth. But also, in a way, Nubsib is providing depth for Gene for this genre as he starts to be truly inspired by his unknown attraction and connection to Nubsib.

 The more the love becomes authentic, the more Gene starts to understand maybe why BLs might be written and why it might be loved by many fans because of that meaning of love that is portrayed when done correctly. So perhaps, Nubsib is making Gene realise more about the other side of things; maybe he offers a different perspective, especially since he's going to be one of those tropey BL characters.

Nubsib: The Mask Of A Lover

Nubsib is very much ambitious, he takes levels to make sure he gets to Gene, but also he hides his true self and wears a mask of two faces. Even his manager knows his real personality and says it; he's faking an image. He hides who he really is to Gene to come of nicer and sweeter, but also he does all of this to get his goal of making Gene trust him. Making Gene first think he's a good boy.  Now, of course, immediately, I notice his two-faced behaviour. I see red flags; this isn't a healthy way to pursue a lover; it's full of lies, secrets and not truly knowing the real person's character. So are we going to unveil more about his intentions, why he's so invested in Gene and what he gains from doing all this, this way? Why is he so ready to ensure this time, Gene doesn't escape or that he doesn't lose his chance to finally be with Gene.

Acting doesn't seem to be his agenda; Gene is, you know, which is why you can feel already from the bat that he knows Gene before. He's pretending they haven't met before/, or he's seen something in him that's made him want to be near him; that's fascinating and interesting, that's the lengths he's taking; to wear a mask to get what he wants. It's interesting because, in a way, his lying, manipulation and secrecy is the opposite of what his presence is going to be for Gene in the show. Remember, he's meant to add authenticity to Gene's life, and love, and vulnerability, and so it's worrying because it's almost like Gene is falling in someone who he doesn't even honestly know. But this is just episode 1; as much as yes Nubsib is manipulative and secretive, I think there are things we'll get to see about him that's still authentic, at least for now; one of the things that stay true is his feelings for Gene, that's what's driving him, and Gene who has been so devoid of that connection maybe that's why Nubsib has to find a way to break down his walls in that way. We can see it's not easy for people to see Gene's vulnerable side. Nubsib makes him vulnerable, and maybe Nubsib knows this about Gene if they have met before; maybe he knows this is the only he can maybe try to make Gene notice him since Gene is so quick to run back home and throw himself into his world of writing. But is it okay? No, it's still manipulative and deceitful, but I think it's going to have consequences. And I can't wait to see how that unfolds. You also see some parts of when his masks fall, and that's concerning Aey, which is funny because  I think they're the same type of people. This is why I'm intrigued by this show; they both will do whatever it is to get what they want.

Aey: The Mask Of An Actor

And then we have Aey; he's even more fascinating; he's pretending to like Nubsib for his own agenda. Even Nubsib can feel it. They've known each other for a while. They can read through each other's masks. That's why they have an interesting plot arc coming. The show does start by making note that he rarely would get a role this big because of his queer identity. Apparently, that's an issue/ problem with the industry (both in fiction and in reality, sadly). They think LGBTQ actors don't attract money if they're too 'queer',  so Aey is determined to get success, notice and fame. He's already found ways to get to this point by overhearing Nubsib when he finds out about the audition. Nubsib is already known and supported by people. Aey may be different. Maybe he's had to struggle to be noticed.

In a way, he's doing all he can to ensure this works for him, but in order to do so,  he also wears a mask and hides who he really is to everyone. In fact, the reason why he's chosen for the role is because even though he is queer, he doesn't seem like it. This is what was said in the show. The only person who seems to see him truly is Mhok, and that's an exciting development being hinted at. There's someone again who is connected to unravelling his mask and knowing his genuine authenticity. I think this is a big theme surrounding romance in this show.  So Aey is going to be an interesting obstacle, just like Sib, everything that comes out from his mouth are lies to get what he wants, maybe even his smiles and fake niceties aren't truly his character; he seems devious (not in a negative way), he seems cunning, like he knows how to be one step ahead. This is probably what he's made himself become to be chosen, noticed and taken seriously. To get what he wants. This makes him a fascinating antagonist; I don't think he's a villain, just someone who has a fascinating character arc in the show. I can't wait to explore it.

Hin: The Mask Of A Follower

And then there's Hin. As much as he's chirpy and nice and friendly to Gene, he seems quite, I won't say jealous, but he does show he wants the chance and opportunities Gene has with writing. He asks the manager by text as the audition happens,  to read his book and let him know if it's possible for publishing. It seems he tends to be overlooked; he's curious, wide-eyed, always looking positive, but what if this is also just a mask? What if we're gonna see more to this arc too. It'd be interesting to see if he'll feel annoyed at Gene complaining about having the opportunity he has to write BLs, when others may not be chosen the same way. But that's just a theory about Hin. If all the other characters are just as ambitious in getting what they want, what's to say, Hin wouldn't be later. What role would he play during the show's ending, perhaps just a supportive friend, a guide to help Gene deal with whatever comes, but it is interesting to know he also wants to write. My first thoughts always point to negative with that because it suggests rivalry. And I think rivalry is also an interesting theme, an occurrence that happens in the industry. So maybe there's more to him, or perhaps not.

So yeh ambition and masks and the lengths the characters would go to fulfil what's important to them in this show have been built up already. Most of our characters all share similarities of having to become or do something that doesn't pertain to the truth of who they really are. They see no choice in the matter; they have to do this to survive or to be happy. This industry is a competition, it's harsh, and you need adaptability, tough skin and methods to survive and get what you want. Especially since Lovely Writer is about the Acting industry as well. These characters all have to be actors somehow, Gene has to pretend he cares about BL, so he sells and makes it big, Nubsib has to pretend he doesn't know Gene, so he can win Gene's heart, Aey has to pretend he cares about Nubsib, so he becomes famous and supported by his fandom, and maybe even Hin has to pretend he's okay with following after Gene, so he can find opportunities to learn more about the industry and also find ways to publish his book. An interesting theme that occurs in real life. Obviously, as Gene and Sib fall for each other, those ambitions come out to the surface, become obstacles in the making, and they have to choose to sacrifice some of it for their love and happiness. One way or another, there's a consequence to not being who you are; somehow, the truth always comes out.  Okay, let's do this show. Let's get to know these characters. I certainly can't wait.

[roswellnmsource]

NOC Interview: Heather Hemmens on Directing an Episode of ‘Roswell, New Mexico’

First of all, huge congrats on the new season and even bigger congrats on directing this week’s new episode. I’m so excited for everyone to see it. Heather Hemmens: Oh, thank you. Me too. I’m really excited for it to finally be out there for everyone to see because I’ve been talking about it for a while and I’m very proud. It’s going to be really nice just to share this journey with everybody.

Can you tell us how directing this episode came about? Was it something you always wanted to do? This was something I always wanted to do and I’ve been working very diligently at for the past 11 years. I directed a few short films, starting 11 years ago, and I did the DGA Episodic Director’s Program. I shadowed for over 200 hours behind the scenes just on this show, I shadowed other shows as well, but just on our Roswell set, I’ve been behind the camera from day one, watching the other directors work and learning. So, there was a lot that went into this to finally get my shot at it, but the one thing I’ll say is if you just never ever ever give up, good things can happen. So, here we are.

How did it feel when you finally got the opportunity, and especially on your show? Well, I really couldn’t have asked for a better set to learn, grow, and live this dream on because our crew, our cast, not only are they the most wonderful, amazing people to work with and just as friends, but they’ve also seen my work ethic from the beginning. They’ve known that this is something I’ve really wanted to achieve and the support system that came out of that, just the camaraderie, the collaboration, that foundation of support really helped me be the best at my job when I went into the director’s chair.

Is there a specific moment of support or a favorite moment from filming that when you look back on the experience, it sticks out and you know you’ll never forget it? There were so many moments like this on this episode, where I would just pinch myself that I was directing. I mean, I remember one night it was about maybe 15 or 20 degrees out, it was really cold and windy, we were shooting a big showdown scene, there was all kinds of special effects, explosions, and whatnot, and I was just so in the moment and work mode. Then, we just had to stop production and wait on another setup, and I was just kind of holding tightly onto my tea, I looked up in the sky and there was this beautiful full moon shining down. I remember just taking a deep breath and reminding myself to enjoy the moment and enjoy the journey, even though things were a little bit stressful. I think it’s always important to just stop and be grateful that we’re able to have the opportunity to do what we do for a living. So yeah, that was a special moment for me is one of the biggest most stressful scenes really actually was like a pinch me moment of joy.

I’m sure there were also moments where you felt challenged; what was the biggest challenge you dealt with and what did you learn from it? I really worked on my time management skills when I was in the scenes that I was directing because I had to cushion a little extra time in my day to watch the scenes on playback and make sure that all the special effects, dialogue, and everything was what I was wanting it to be, except when I was in the scene I couldn’t see it. So I had to put a little extra time into my day there and it’s still stick to a schedule that a normal director would be expected to meet. So, for me, that type of multitasking and work ethic was something that was very fulfilling to me to be able to learn, achieve, and just feel really good about the day when I would finish on time and had done the work that I set out to do. So yeah, those were some of the most challenging moments, but there’s something about when you set a goal and you achieve it, that it kind of makes it all worth it.

Where did the desire and inspiration come from to start directing? Was there something specific that ignited that passion in you? I think I’ve always been a director. I think it’s really just a type A personality, where I have a vision for the way that I want things to look and if I read a book, I’m such a visually creative person that I’m seeing the whole story in my head, which I did when I read this script. I was like, “Oh, this is amazing,” I was relieved because I’m like, “I see how the story is supposed to come to life.” So, really I think it’s just kind of how my brain works and once I realized that there was a career that I could actually get paid to do that, to do something that really just comes quite naturally to me, I’ve always been very excited to direct. Being an actor has been a great pride in my life, I just feel additionally fulfilled by the consuming work of being a director. It’s very satisfying to have a hand in all of the different creative departments.

What was it like for you when you saw those visuals, makeup, special effects, and everything else play out and create the finished product? What were you feeling? I was proud, you know? I was proud and I was honored to be entrusted with an episode of our wonderful show. Then, when I saw the first edit, those tears of joy really did start flowing because I realized that I had done the work, I’d done my best, and I thought it was pretty good. So, it was a relief to know that all the blood, sweat, and tears that went into something was worth it. I think that at the end of the day, I could just be proud of my commitment to the craft and hope for the best that everybody else enjoys it as entertainment.

What are you most excited for fans to see from the episode? I’m so excited for the journey that the Scooby Doo gang goes on to find Jones. They’re trying to hunt him down, figure out a way to outsmart him, and it just leads all of our characters on this really fun, exciting journey that culminates in a jaw dropping reveal in the episode. The storyline is so fun and so action packed in this episode and also, it’s just got these really sweet moments between all the characters where we see a friendship really just solidifying, a sisterhood solidifying between Isobel and Rosa, we see Liz being challenged beyond belief with her mental and emotional conflicts about Max and Jones, she’s just pushed to the max. So, we have so many fun dynamics in this episode that it’s really a roller coaster ride from beginning to end.

You star in the show as well, so what has your journey been like in terms of creating this character, seeing the fan response, and how much they love the show? Oh, well we’re just so grateful. We’re so grateful to work on a show that we love and that’s well received. We’re grateful to be working during the pandemic. All of these things that we can just be grateful for and pour our heart into to give more content, we’re just happy for the opportunity and we’re working so very hard to make the most of it. So, we appreciate the fans, just keep watching and we’ll keep giving.

If you could either give Maria a dream storyline or have a dream storyline that you would like to direct on the show, what would it be? Oh, that’s fun. I would say, a dream storyline that I would like to direct is when hopefully, at some point in our show, I would love for us to have some real spaceships coming down and to see more of the planet that our aliens are from. So, that would be a dream scenario is to like really get into the alien takeover aspect of our show, if that were to ever happen. That would be really, really fun.

What can you tease about the rest of the season? Well, figuring out how to conquer Jones is one of the main struggles and right now he has a hold on the psyche of several of our characters. So, it’s just how do they get out of his grasp, but still prevent him from doing more damage? I think that we’ve learned that we just have to go along with the ride that he’s bringing and the only way to meet him is the stick with him for a little while, so we’re gonna see a lot more of this journey that propels from him getting into Maria’s mind and we’re gonna see that play out. I can’t say whether they win or lose, but it’s going to be an epic fight to the finish.

If you could do a crossover between Roswell, New Mexico and any show that you are a fan of, which would you pick? Oh, I love The Mandalorian and that takes place in outer space. So, what if there was some type of alien crossover combination of our aliens and their other world? That’d be really fun.

If you could create a tagline or phrase to describe your episode, what would you make it? Aliens and comas and explosions, oh my!