#it’s the only thing keeping me going.
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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Even before you two got together, you've always known that Sukuna was a heavyweight when it came to drinking. He was often the designated driver when you would go out with your circle of friends. Hell, he was the one who had to take care of you after having one too many Pornstar Martinis last week. Not that he minded. . .
But, with that being said, Sukuna was still able to get drunk sometimes; it was rare, but still. And when Sukuna gets drunk, he gets drunk. I'm talking absolutely wasted. To the point he doesn't even recognize his own girl is the one trying to cop a feel.
Sukuna scowled, swatting your hand away before it could touch his arm. "Fuck off. 'm not interested, 'kay."
"Babe, are you serious?" You laughed, steadying Sukuna as he almost tripped over himself. "It's me."
"I don't know anyone named Me," Sukuna said the name with confusion evident in his tone. "Now piss off."
When Sukuna awoke the next morning, he immediately told you of all he remembered last night, despite his pounding headache.
"The craziest thing happened to me, y'know."
You smiled expectantly, "Do tell."
"Some girl who was wearing the exact same pair of earrings I bought you came up to me yesterday. And her name? Super weird, never heard of it. It was Me."
"No, I'm pretty sure it was me," you said, pointing to yourself.
"What."
#whoever invented fans deserves their ass ate#the only thing keeping me going rn#sukuna x reader#sukuna fluff#sukuna headcanons#jjk x reader#sukuna x you#jjk x you#ryomen x reader#em writes ˎˊ˗
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#the Nowhere Man who waits and the God of Stories who watches
#mobius#loki#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#loki spoilers#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#owenwilsonedit#marvel#dianagifs#😩😭#what... in the most tragic of romances did i just witness#gotta rewatch tomorrow but cannot BELIEVE how okay i am with everything atm???#their story clearly isn't done their burden is obviously going on without each other and they exist fundamentally connected#they've lost everything but being able to see mobius every step of the way is enough for loki to make the sacrifice#and mobius left for his timeline with no other purpose than to make sure loki could do just that#now they're lost without each other?? the only thing mobius can do is exist for a moment in loki's creation i'm UNWELL#god this is the star crossed angst that's gonna keep me going for the rest of my LIFE they're my everything#loki s2 spoilers
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SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.
#simon petrikov#fionna and cake#adventure time#goin insane over him#thers no words to describe how im feelin#i wish i could draw somehtin better but i am goin INSANE#FINALLY. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. we are being FED.#ALSO?? HOW THEY SHOWED HIM EXACTLY WHEN THE LYRICS GO ''WHATS WRONG WITH ME'. LIKE HELLO???????#ive seen so many good theories PLEASE GOD WRITE FICS I AM BEGGIN I LL DRAW U FANART BLS HEL P#IDK WOT IM GONNA DO FOR A WHOLE MONTH#SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT TIL THE 31ST. HIBERNATE ME. HELP.#also i need to put it out there the first thing i thought when i saw this trailer was simon is tryina rewrite fionna and cake#which is why their world keeps changin so much? idk idk#ive seen so many different ideas and they are all so good please help#ALSO GOD. THIS MAN IS JUST GOIN THRU IT. AND ITS ONLY BEEN A QUICK TRAILER.#im sorry for so many tags idk where to put these help#maybe i should make an actual blog for like. whatever. n reblogs. help.
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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dick grayson#talia al ghul#batfamily#dc robin#nightwing#anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther#like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it#they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc#but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself#anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did#it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios#also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul#you will always be famous to me#son of the demon origin...bwahhh#anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic#but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up#so go look at that as well#anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy#i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!)#so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!)#when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself#it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on#I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue#i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :]#idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups#so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat#mine
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They live in my head rent free. Drop your headcanons in the reblogg tags
#uni au where they go to every party and fucking trash it#headcanon that gojo only drinks coke cause one sip and 30 minutes he's lying somewhere striped naked and unconcious#stst bribing shoko into any shinanegan by buying her cigs#shoko drinks them both under the table but suguru actually can keep up with ehr#also weed does weird things to gojo's six eyes 100% confirmed so he is catious#still the loudes mf at the party even if he's sober af#i love them#these three are the best thing that ever happened to me#sashisu#satosho#sugusho#satosugu#stsg#gojo satoru#shoko ieiri#suguru geto#jujutsu kaisen#fanart#satosho weekend#satoshoko#jjk#IPMSSA_Tokyo5!Fanart#IPMSSA_FoundFamily!Fanart#IPMSSA_SaShiSu!Fanart
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tim "faking" a bicycle accident to get his neighbor to come help him, based on @upswings's post, which gripped me by the throat the moment i read it
extras:
#sart#tim drake#dick grayson#dick & tim#dc#long post#ITS FINALLY DOOOOOOOOOOOONE#i've been chipping away at this for so long#im never gonna draw a full comic again#<- will absolutely draw a full comic again#only for these two#anyway tim probably gets grounded but somehow finagles dick as his “responsibly neighbor who saved him” to babysit him#while dick is simultaneously angling for that exact position to keep an eye on his suspicious kid neighbor#the payoff of the last page was the only thing keeping me going (and my friend <3)
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happy pride month
#naegami#makoto naegi#byakuya togami#danganronpa#trans byakuya#polaris polanski#that post is ff naegami to me to a terrifyingly accurate degree#makoto and his wife who wants him to quit his job#byakuya casually dropping bombshells on a shell-shocked and exhausted man#and then daydreaming about a better life they could have together while makoto's still reeling with the implications#if i reconcile my bizarro upbringing and my convoluted perception of gender roles and current position in this foundation#the only way i can get him to leave on his own volition is to marry him. in a straight way. bc we're both straight. what if i was a girl#makoto's resigning himself to being ff's dog for the forseeable future. meanwhile byakuya is doing the same but also having egg emotions#not featured: kyoko who was sitting on the opposite side of makoto and was in the middle of a conversation with him. that got interrupted#she immediately downs her shot after byakuya says that out loud and texts the other survivors who each owe her $10. toko owes her $20#tgirl egg byakuya in her 20s in an apocalypse as a middle manager is a very specific headcanon that i enjoy a lot#only thing keeping her going is her bisexuality and the reminder that 'i went off the grid while crossdressing before i can do it again'#my arts
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"She's Gone"
This bad boy was started on the third of November, and finished on the seventh. In total, there are thirty panels (all of which were drawn separately).
A good chunk of N's dialogue near the end came to me after I did some improv to figure out what he should say. I have since dubbed it "N's Failure Monologue."
#murder drones#murder drones n#murder drones tessa#murder drones uzi#tessa james elliott#serial designation n#uzi doorman#the absolutesolver#BOY let me tell ya there was some movie magic pulled in areas#even though i told myself to keep it simple... despite knowing how well that worked when i made crash test#ah well. i go overboard so you guys can enjoy the end result#and hopefully not dock off points for my inability to draw characters holding swords. i tried SO HARD#ALSO JUST SAW THE BEGINNING OF THE END TEASER THING BEFORE POSTING THIS#OH MY GOD MY HEART IS DOING THINGS TO ME AND I'M NOT SURE THIS IS HELPING#YES THAT IS THE ONLY TEASER I WILL EVER WATCH BECAUSE IT WAS UNAVOIDABLE ANYWAY (it’s in glitchx 2023)#solveruzi au#zeisty’s heavy hitters#zeisty’s comic stuff
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I keep forgetting to add a new art commission post for this account, so this is me setting a calendar reminder to do it once I finish this damn war & history essay on Sunday (¬_¬")
#naturally it had to be for the elective I was forced to take bc there wasn’t any room left in the other psych class I wanted!!!#I digress. I just haven’t written one in over 7 years and I’m nervous about it lmfaooo#and I wasn’t bad at it but I started writing early 2012#so it’s instilled in me to hate writing essays and love writing for fiction#wish I still had my short story from my 12th year tho…#vampires y’all .#sobbing ran tho bc I have so much to do between now and April 20th#BUT THEN IM FREE UNTIL SEPTEMBER#MWAHAHAHA#I can finally sit down and write with no distractions!!#it’s the only thing keeping me going.#but ok! bedtime again! it’s 6am again whoooooops#night night everybody I love youuuuuuuu#✦ nc vb.
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"Mother, wouldst thou truly Sponsorship sanction, in one so bereft of points?"
It was 1AM and I was juiced on caffeine. Have at ye the not-so-little boy from Rosario, Argenti—I mean Shadow Keep.
#lionel messmer#i like to make myself laugh because it's the only thing keeping me from having another breakdown episode#fifa elden cup? idk#messmer#messmer the impaler#noodles#elden ring dlc#shadow of the erdtree#you think messmer would just go “que miras bobo?!” instead of “mongrel intruder”#fanart#first post#the snakes are his managers#officially#elden ring#forgive me for the messy art i was rushing and giggling like a madman#that's my insta handle in the watermark! good luck finding anything new though
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ÎÑŚÆŃË actually.
#the heart killers#firstkhao#kantbison#gmmtv#thai bl#the only thing that keeps me going atm#its just them and nothing else#yes i have a hyperfixation howd u know#kdjsbgd#but anyway the chemistry radiating from these mere images is driving me insane now imagine them moving??? im might pass away#bye
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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
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dazai stop rizzing up the enemy challenge go!!
#i'm convinced the whole meursault arc is just a massive hangover dream fabricated by dazai💀#when your friend group is small but you're all gay and mentally ill#literally all i could think about watching dazai waltz around with sigma and flirting with him nonstop was fyo and chuuya just going :/#while watching them through the security cameras#honestly they slayed sokouku could never#no better way to spend your last thirty minutes alive than ballroom dancing with the enemy against their will#dazai and sigma's interactions are the only thing keeping bsd fans (me) sane atp#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#sigma bsd#nakahara chuuya#fyodor dostoevsky#sigzai#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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Don’t be so formal! We’re all paly-wals here. I mean, look at us. We even hold court in your own tongue and form!
#my art#fanart#npmd spoilers#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#npmd fanart#starkid#the lords in black#pokey#nibbly#wiggly#blinky#tinky#i am not tagging their full government names#i am so simple. i see some silly guys in silly neon costumes i go OOOOOO#wiggly is my favorite in case ur wondering. i am a wiggly enjoyer ngl#also the summoning is the best song in the whole show i have been listening on repeat#i need the soundtrack on spotify NEOW#you may notice ive been drawing a lot lately. well you see im going insane and this is the only thing keeping me from turning to goo
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Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
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Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
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