#it’s soooo fucking funny.

[bibleofficial]

lmfao ridiculously fucked up for 7pm 😭😭

[visenyaism]

eagerly awaiting the reveal of what political science 101 concept is she going to stop the plot to teach middle schoolers about. we got bread and circuses we got the extended work on thomas hobbes my money is on haymitch starting this book as an objectivist and having to unlearn that in the face of true struggle

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[prohaloplayer]

polls are great but the little "lack of engagement" sentiment that kinda flared up when they dropped was soooo weird. "why aren't you guys reblogging!!! this isn't how this site works you have to share things so more people see them!!!". how can you genuinely believe people are obligated to reblog your post just because they clicked one button to vote in your poll? i think if your post was funnier people would want to reblog it more but it's never that it's "too many new people who don't know how this site works". man even if the funniest, most culturally significant post of all fucking time dropped tomorrow not a single person is obligated to reblog it if they don't want to. get over yourself

[fiendishartist2]

whats going on up there

[egonkula]

"I don't think Logan would have said that, his minivan speech was so messed up!!" are we talking about the same logan??? logan in EVERY universe would say that im afraid. he is actually a mean bitch who loves to project his issues onto others!! so why are we surprised when he does it !!!

[laurents-secret-diary]

the quirked up white boy Of Vere

[numbuh424]

the 2nd half of death note should've just gone full comedy complete with a laugh track and had these two dissing each other the whole time

[angryducktimemachine]

I watched the Granada Holmes Hound of the Baskervilles and this is my explanation (and defense ?) of Holmes just absolutely horrible looking stew.

[ID: a digital drawing of Sherlock Holmes. He's walking across a moor with his hands behind his back, holding a letter. A thought bubble above him reads "I forgot my damn stew by the fire." /End ID]

[hedgerlogs]

I just saw your post of the doodles of Yakuza characters! if you're still doing them can you draw Ryuji please? imagine him with his angry face and pink bows in his hair I CRY🖤🖤

two people asked for ryuji! schrodingers dragon 🐉

(requests now closed sadly 💔)

[skitskatdacat63]

2024 Azerbaijan Grand Prix - Oscar Piastri(pt. 2)

[laylakeating]

PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS APPRECIATION WEEK DAY FIVE | favourite quote(s) → Percy's Greatest Hits

[blossoms-phan]

I LOVE YOUUUU (x)

[gawkeye-pierce]

[ahappydnp]

do u know where cornelia called dan frejas uncle? 🙏😫

she said it in an instastory on his 30th birthday!

[notherpuppet]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpJPeVRKI0k

^one-sided radiostatic and a bit of apple animatic! Sorry if someone already sent this

EVERYONE GO WATCH THIS VIDEO I AM EFFING DYINGGGGGGGG

Video by @natakarania

Lyrics by @convolutedblasphemy

Prompt by @onesidedradiostatic and an anon