#it’s something that makes me feel human and yes it’s stupid as hell while also being so so expertly smart you feel me

[the-chosen-half-of-one]

Is it really your favourite show if you’re not constantly warning your friends every second episode, “Okay, now this one’s kinda bad but—”

[yuujispinkhair]

sukuna who's over heels with y/n, but y/n is stupidly in love with yuuji who is falling in love with megumi?!

Omggg I love this!!!! Thank you for sending me this 💗

Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female)

Fluff. Hurt & Comfort. Friends to lovers. 2k words. Unrequited love/pining in the beginning. Sukuna and Reader get their happy end (Yuuji gets his happy end with Megumi). Mentions of cigarettes + alcohol. All characters are of age. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear

Sukuna can only shake his head at the irony. He is in love. He is fucking in love for the first time in his life, and of course, it has to be someone he cannot have! Out of everyone at this stupid college, it has to be the girl who likes his brother!

If it were any other guy, Sukuna wouldn't give a fuck and just flirt like hell with the girl he wants and give his best to steal her away from that other guy. But the problem is that Itadori Sukuna might be an asshole, but he isn't the type of asshole that would steal his brother's girl.

So Sukuna swallows down his heartbreak and forces himself to hold back, refusing to stand in the way of his baby brother's happiness. Sukuna might only be three minutes older, but he is still the big bro, still the one who sees it as his responsibility to look after his "little" brother. And Yuuji deserves it. He deserves a girl like you. He deserves your love. Sukuna will stay strong. He can do it.

But what Sukuna didn't take into account is how completely oblivious his brother is to your feelings.

You follow Yuuji around like a lost puppy, giving him hearteyes, practically swooning anytime he smiles his sunshine smile, hanging on his lips when he talks about his movie-directing classes and his new favorite TV show. But Yuuji doesn't seem to notice. And it makes Sukuna so mad! It drives him crazy! He almost spits his drink out when his brother gives you a high five and calls you "bro".

Sukuna feels sick to his stomach when he watches you wring your hands and shyly ask Yuuji if he maybe wants to go to the cinema with you to see the newest Human Earthworm movie. That super trashy horror series that Yuuji is always gushing about, which Sukuna is 99% sure you don't really like but only want to endure for the boy you have a big crush on.

But Sukuna's oblivious idiot of a brother just laughs and nods, happy that someone shares his taste, and totally misses the point,

"Yes, that's perfect! Let's also ask Megumi and Nobara to join us! Let's all go together! It will be so much fun!"

Sukuna thinks he can not only feel his own heart ache but also yours as he sees your face fall even while you force yourself to nod bravely and smile a sad smile at Yuuji.

It takes everything in Sukuna not to say something. But his restraint only lasts until he is alone with his brother. The moment the others have left, he shoves Yuuji into the wall, grabs his collar, and growls at him,

"You are so fucking dumb, brat! I would give anything to be in your shoes, but you don't even see that she wants you!"

And Yuuji blinks at him, all big eyes and completely confused,

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

Sukuna lets go of Yuuji, slumping against the wall next to him, sighing and explaining the situation to him. How Sukuna likes you, and how you like Yuuji, and how everything is such a mess, and how much he hates it, especially when his little brother is too blind to see what he could have!

"Now you know, brat. Go, get her. Just don't rub it in my face, ok? I'll stay away as much as possible."

Sukuna pushes himself off the wall, about to run away and hide in some dark corner or maybe find someone to fuck and distract him from all this shit. But to his utter surprise, Yuuji's hand darts out and grabs Sukuna's sleeve.

"Wait, Kuna! I don't even have those kinds of feelings for her! There is... um... well, there is actually someone else I like."

He stands there, scratching his neck, looking sheepishly at Sukuna and blushing a bit as Sukuna stares at him with question marks in his eyes.

"Who??"

"Um, he has black hair and likes dogs and... ah shit."

And Sukuna can't help it. He bursts out laughing, doubling over because this is just so fucking dumb and messy and getting more complicated every second, and he probably should have known!

"Damn, brat, that really sounds like you! Falling for your best friend!"

In the end, Sukuna plays matchmaker for Yuuji and Megumi. It's easy, considering the way Fushiguro has been looking at Yuuji since the first day he met him. And yeah, Sukuna is not only doing it because he loves his baby brother but also because of selfish reasons. Because it means you will have to let go of your crush on Yuuji. Not that Sukuna thinks you will turn to him, but at least he won't have to watch you date his brother and pretend he doesn't care!

It feels like someone is stabbing Sukuna's heart when he watches your face twist in pain at the next party when you see Yuuji walking into the room with Megumi's hand in his.

But it will be fine! After all, Sukuna is here to catch you and mend your broken heart again. As a friend, at least.

He quickly follows you when you leave the room and run towards the backyard. You sit down on the slightly damp grass, and Sukuna joins you, sitting silently next to you while tears run down your cheeks. Sukuna offers you his half-smoked cigarette, and when your eyes meet, he can't help but think that surely you must see the pain in his eyes, too.

He quickly takes a sip from the bottle he is holding to hide the emotions threatening to swallow him while silently cursing himself for following you out here. He misjudged how fucking hard it is to look at you when you are crying. If only Sukuna could just close the distance between you and claim you as his, just kiss all your pain and his pain away.

But of course, he knows it would be too soon. For once in his life, Sukuna doesn't just want to be a one-night stand or a rebound or a revenge fuck or whatever. For once in his life, he wants more. He wants everything.

And so Sukuna is patient. Just offers you his silent company, his cigarette, his bottle of vodka, and his leather jacket when it gets chilly, and you start to shiver. He offers you his friendship, his protection, and the kind of comfort he can give without fucking you. He drives you home, makes sure you have something to eat and get some sleep.

He bangs on your door three days later when you still haven't come back to campus, calling you a brat and an idiot because it's the only way he knows how to show his worry. But he hopes he's making it better by shoving a vanilla latte and a bag with muffins from your favorite coffee shop into your hands.

Your eyes look puffy from crying, and you seem confused about what he is doing here, but you take the food and coffee from him. And Sukuna smirks at you and refuses to leave when you tell him you look like hell and don't want him to see you like that.

"I don't care, princess. Eat those damn muffins and drink your latte before it gets cold. I didn't stand in line for half an hour for you to just ignore my treats. And by the way, you always look pretty to me."

He stays until you had breakfast and took a shower, coming back to the living area with a soft,

"Thank you, Sukuna. It was nice of you to bring me muffins and coffee."

Sukuna finally leaves, lifting one tattooed hand to casually wave at you as if his heart isn't about to burst because he wants to pull you against his chest and hold you and tell you he can make you happy again.

He skips some of his classes and instead goes to the gym, working out like a madman and beating up a punching bag until he is too exhausted to think about how sad you looked and how fucking much he wants to kiss it better.

He comes back the next day to pick you up and take you to the coffee shop with him, making sure you leave the house and join the living again! It cannot be that you are crying your eyes out in your room all day!

"Stop complaining and get your bratty ass off the couch! It will be good for you to get some fresh air and shit. I am warning you if you don't put on shoes in the next 30 seconds, I will make you walk to the coffee shop in socks!"

Oh yes, Sukuna is good at this. Acting grumpy and playing the asshole while taking care of you and making sure you are ok. And somehow, you are the only one, apart from his brother, who can see right through him because you roll your eyes and laugh softly and tell him that he is the nicest asshole you have ever met.

The two of you fall into a routine where Sukuna picks you up every morning and has breakfast with you before he walks you to your first class. You constantly grow closer, and Sukuna feels his mask slipping more often around you. His typical arrogant smirk softens into a genuine smile. His snide comments turn into compliments. He isn't sure if he is doing it by accident or intentionally. Maybe he is only reacting to the way you act around him.

Because your gaze doesn't follow his brother anymore. Your face doesn't fall when you see Yuuji with Megumi. Your smile doesn't falter when you spot pink hair and realize it's the bad boy twin with the tattoos and not the good boy twin with the sunshine smile. Sukuna even feels like your smile is growing brighter when you look at him.

Could it be?

And he notices more things. Notices how you always sit so close to him now when he is at your dorm and you play video games against each other. How you always laugh at his jokes, no matter how sarcastic they are. Or how you look at him sometimes when you think he doesn't realize it. How your eyes get that dreamy little sparkle when Sukuna is sleepy, and his voice gets low and a bit raspy. How you get goosebumps on your arms when Sukuna puts his hands on your hips to steer you through a crowded room.

A few weeks later, Sukuna finds himself back at the same spot where all those weeks ago, it all began. Sitting next to you in the grass in the small backyard of your friend's dorm, where you cried when Yuuji broke your heart.

But tonight, you aren't crying. Tonight, you are smiling and throwing your head back, laughing at some dry joke Sukuna makes, looking so carefree and happy. Your shoulder is brushing against Sukuna's biceps, and your hand lands on his thigh, giving it a playful smack and staying just a little too long. And Sukuna can't help but say in that low voice, you seem to like so much,

"You are so beautiful."

For a split second, he feels his chest tense up, scared that he fucked everything up. Scared that he got it wrong and you still want his brother. Or maybe some other guy. Scared that you only see Sukuna as a good friend. Or that you only see him the way the whole campus sees him: as that sexy, asshole guy who is only good for casual sex and nothing more.

But then you turn your head to look at him, and Sukuna sees that soft expression in your eyes, the one he used to see on your face when you looked at his brother. But now it is for him, for Sukuna. And he simply knows without you having to spell it out. He knows that things have truly changed.

So, Sukuna decides to do what he wanted to do for a long time.

"I am sorry that you cried the last time we were in this backyard. But I am not sorry for why it happened. My brother is an idiot for not wanting you like that. But I am glad he is an idiot because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do this..."

And Sukuna puts a hand under your chin, cupping it with a gentleness he didn't know he possessed while looking deeply into your eyes, checking one last time if he really got it right. You look at him with wide eyes, but you smile and nod softly as your gaze travels down to his lips.

And Sukuna sighs and presses his lips gently against yours, kissing you like he never kissed someone before, slow and gentle, as if he is scared you will break or slip through his fingers. A kiss with his eyes closed and his chest filling with a warmth he didn't know until now. A kiss into which Sukuna pours all the secret longing he felt for you for months, all the feelings he tried to hold back for his brother's sake and then for the sake of not fucking things up.

But finally, he doesn't have to hold back anymore. Because you chose him. You chose Sukuna. You are sitting here with him, with your hand in his hair and your lips moving slowly against his, a happy sigh and a soft murmur of his name falling from your lips.

The two of you only stop kissing when Sukuna's head is already spinning from the lack of oxygen. He pulls away only enough to grin at you and stroke your cheek with his thumb. And you smile back at him and whisper,

"I am glad, too, that Yuuji turned me down. Because otherwise I wouldn't have found out that it's his brother who is my perfect match. I wouldn't have found out that you, Itadori Sukuna, are the one I like the most out of everyone."

AAAHHH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 😭😭 Thank you so much for sending me this ask. I see Sukuna + unrequited love/pining and I lose my mind!! It's my weakness and makes me so so soft for him (even more than usual).

I hope you liked this little hurt/comfort story!! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗

[darlingdaisyfarm]

𝑯𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝑽𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆'𝒔 𝑫𝒂𝒚

a/n: happy valentine’s day, my beloveds!!! i love all of you so, so much. like, so much. if i could, i’d send you all glitter-covered valentine’s cards and the biggest, warmest hugs. i hope today is kind to you, whether you’re spending it with someone, treating yourself or just chilling. you deserve all the love in the world. Bill’s and Fiddleford’s parts are coming bit later, but in the meantime, i hope you enjoy Stan and Ford. take care of yourselves, and remember: you are so, so loved 💖

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒍𝒆𝒚

the first thing Stan does on valentine’s day is complain. “ugh,” he groans as he gets out of bed, rubbing his back. “it’s valentines and i wake up feeling like i got hit by a bus.”

you raise an eyebrow when you see him coming downstairs to the kitchen. “you say that every morning, Stan”

“yeah, but today it’s worse. i swear.”

you tilt your head, thinking. “i could give you a massage?”

just one simple innocent offer and Stanley Pines, full-grown conman, ex-criminal, self-proclaimed tough guy, goes absolutely red. “uh—what? no, i don’t need—” he coughs, turning away. “not like—i mean—“

you smirk. ”so that’s a yes?”

“that's a no!” he grumbles, turning away and heading out of the room, all red and embarrassed.

later, after hours of pacing, making frustrated noises and trying to convince himself that this is a stupid holiday and why does he even care, while also trying to figure out how to ask you on a date without looking like a complete idiot. . .

Mabel is busy hanging out with Candy and Grenda, so he turns to Dipper, which is a mistake.

Dipper, who was in the middle of reading Stanford's journal, looks up at him. “so, essentially, grunkle Stan, what you need is a multi-step plan.”

Stan is horrified. “a what?”

“a plan,” Dipper continues, flipping to a fresh page. “a strategic approach. first, we gather data. then, we make a list of optimal date locations. i’m thinking greasy’s diner, because statistically—“

Stanley just groans, dragging a hand down his face and that's when he realises something. he’s overthinking this. he’s sitting here, talking to his nerd nephew, listening to plans and lists, when he’s never needed a damn plan before in his life. what the hell is he doing??

“okay, nope, nevermind. kid, i’m just gonna take ‘em to a diner.”

“wait, what?” Dipper frowns. ”but you need a PLAN!”

”the plan is the diner.”

“wait, grunkle Stan! i was getting to the part about psychological profiling!“

so that’s how Stanley Pines ends up standing in front of you, very awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. “uh. you, uh. wanna go to greasy’s with me. for a date. or whatever.” the moment the words leave his mouth, he wants to die.

and now he wants to die much more because you just smiled at his words and nodded. “yeah. . . yeah, i’d love to!”

the date is going great, which means Stan wants to run. you are too beautiful. it’s pissing him off. especially when light catches your face, when you laugh, when you keep tilting your head while listening to him ramble about whatever, even though he’s pretty sure he’s not making sense.

his heart is pounding. “soo, uh, you, uh. you ever been arrested?”

in response he gets a full-on, unattractive, choke-on-your-own-spit kind of snort from you, what makes him look so proud of himself.

“okay, ice broken,” he thinks. “we’re doin’ great. yeah.”

Stanley hates himself for it but you are too beautiful and funny. and it is ruining his life. he’s sweating. literally sweating. he tries to make small talk and immediately forgets how to speak like a human being.

he’s gonna run.

he's gonna find some dumb excuse, say he left the stove on, pretend to trip and fall out the window. but what he doesn't know is that he's not the only one who's nervous, you’re both so awkward it’s ridiculous. Stan keeps tugging at his collar. you keep fidgeting with your hands, stuttering and avoiding eye contact

suddenly, even to yourself, you stand up. “non specific excuse!!” after announcing that, you flip the entire damn table over and run out of the diner.

Stan watches this happen in slow motion and, without thinking, he jumps up, pointing at you.

“now that’s my kind of person!" he yells to people at the diner as he runs after you.

you’re both running through the empty gravity falls streets, laughing so hard you can barely breathe. when he finally catches up, you both collapse against a wall, panting.

“i can’t believe you just did that, wow!” Stan wheezes.

“well, i can’t believe you chased me,” you shoot back.

you’re both just grinning at each other like idiots. Stan looks at you and damn, he’s so in love it’s stupid.

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒅

there’s glitter in your hair and Ford notices this first, because there’s glitter everywhere, on the floor, on the couch, on him.

“Mabel,” he says slowly, lifting a sleeve coated in shimmering specks. “what exactly have you done?”

Mabel, who is sitting across from you, shrugs, completely unbothered. “we're making valentine’s day masterpieces, obviously.”

you grin, lifting a small, glittery pink heart with messy writing scrawled across it. “see? Mabel’s making some for her friends. im just helping her!”

oh, damn, that adorable smile of yours. . . Ford clears his throat, though his ears turning noticeably pink. “oh. well. that’s very sweet of you.”

before you can say anything, he disappears into the kitchen, leaving you and Mabel alone together.

some time pass and what started with nail polish, somehow escalated to homemade friendship bracelets with Mabel telling you about all boys she met in Gravity Falls, avoiding Gideon's name, you smile at her because that girl looks so cute cutting out ridiculous little shapes with her tongue sticking out.

“you think waddles would like a card?” Mabel asks, tapping her chin. “or do you think pigs don’t understand the concept of romance?”

“i think waddles would eat the card,” you reply, flicking a bit of glitter at her.

“you are so right!”

suddenly, you hear very familiar voice from the kitchen. “no— waddles!! no! bad pig! shoo! go away!”

Mabel screeches so loud your eardrums nearly rupture. “Ford and Waddles interaction?! i need to see this!”

you dont even have time to react as she launches herself across the room, screaming your name over and over in excitement.

“off the counter! off the counter now!”

you're a curious person, so when you finally peek in you see Ford half-bent over the kitchen table, trying desperately to shield something from Waddles, who is aggressively attempting to munch on a piece of paper.

“uncle Ford!” Mabel yells, “why are you yelling at my baby??”

Ford jerks up. “i—i. . .”

Mabel’s eyes catch sight of the now slobber-covered valentine’s day card and she gasps again, so loud you cover your ears.

“OH. MY. GOSH.” she whips back toward you, pointing dramatically. “go. go away. go to the living room and act like nothing happened!”

you want to stay here longer, trying to see what is going on there, but Mabel keeps pushing you. “do not question me, just go!”

Ford looks mortified. you, very confused, decide to listen to Mabel and back out. when you sit down on the glitter-covered floor, you still hear their voices, because Mabel just doesn't know what does “talking quiet” means.

“oh my gosh, uncle Ford!” from the kitchen comes the unmistakable sound of a chair scraping across the tile, a very panicked grunt, and what is possibly the sound of an envelope being hastily shoved under something. “i knew it! you were making a valentine’s day card!! oh my GOSH, i knew it!! i knew you had a crush on—“

“MABEL!!”

“i can’t believe this, holy llama socks, you’re actually doing something romantic!”

“shh!! keep your voice down!! what if—“

“what color was the glitter? tell me right now. was it pink? was it gold?! it was gold, wasn’t it?!”

there’s a very long pause. then, Ford mutters, “. . .it was gold.”

Mabel squeals. ”uncle Ford, you have to give it to them, please please please!”

“i can’t do that!”

“ughh, why not?!”

Ford sounds so exasperated you can picture him running both hands down his face. “because that is embarrassing! i. . . Mabel, i can't do that.”

”but you wrote them something sweet, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU??”

“Mabel, sweetie, please.”

“you are so lucky i have a strong sense of mystery, uncle Ford, i would never, ever reveal your deepest secrets. no matter how much they might want to know. even if they asked very nicely. even if they bribed me with candy. even if they looked so, so beautiful today!”

and god, Mabel acts so suspicious for hours. she side-eyes you at dinner, she hums conspicuously when Ford walks past, she does wiggly eyebrows. it’s a whole thing! but she doesn’t tell you why, and by the time the day winds down, you nearly forget. . .

until later that night, when the house is quiet, you find a folded pink valentine’s day card tucked neatly beside your pillow.

the front has a little hand-drawn equation that you don’t totally understand, but something about it makes you smile.

the inside reads, in Ford’s impeccable cursive handwriting:

“of all the possible realities, i’m grateful to exist in this one with you ♡ ”

and underneath, a little scrawled postscript ���p.s. please ignore the bite mark on the corner. i had to fight for my life against a pig today.”

[fuckyeahisawthat]

I think Crowley falls into two of the classic pitfalls of people who see that the problems are systemic long before anyone else around them does: impatience and despair.

(Yes yes I know, “Crowley was an optimist.” Book Crowley is an optimist. I don’t think that line is particularly useful for analyzing TV Crowley. Stay with me here.)

Let it be said that 95% of the time, Crowley has the patience of a fucking saint (ssh don’t tell him) around Aziraphale. He knows that Aziraphale needs to build his little plausible deniability rationales in order to do something that they both know he wants to do (because it’s right or simply because he would enjoy it) but Heaven wouldn’t approve of. And most of the time, Crowley is happy to help Aziraphale get there, asking the questions Aziraphale is afraid to ask, offering excuses and justifications until Aziraphale finds one he can accept. He does a lot of work of parsing out when “no” means “you haven’t convinced me yet, keep trying” and pushing through all the “I’m an angel, you’re a demon, we’re on opposite sides and mine is the good one” talk that Aziraphale gets up to all the way through s1. Because he knows that Aziraphale doesn’t really believe that stuff, right? He just needs some time to talk himself around his own cognitive dissonance, and most of the time Crowley is not only happy to facilitate that but sees it as part of his role in their relationship.

But then when the chips are down and Aziraphale is still dithering, that’s when he gets frustrated, because HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE what’s been blindingly obvious to Crowley for millennia, that Heaven is just as cruel as Hell and no one is going to step in and fix it because the system is working as intended. And that’s when he says things like “how can someone as clever as you be so stupid?” Which is a surefire way not to convince the person you’re arguing with of anything.

And then there’s the despair. I really think the running away thing is not about cowardice or selfishness or some kind of unhealthy level of avoidance of hard or scary things, but about hopelessness. They’ve spent their lives avoiding very very real danger, and of the two of them Crowley is much more constantly aware of the danger that they are in from both sides. Yes he’s hypervigilant but he is also almost always right about the amount of danger they are in. Trying to get as far away from danger as possible is not an irrational response, even if it’s not always the correct one for a given situation.

When you feel like you’re the only person who sees how rotten the system is, how it needs to be dismantled entirely, but you are also VERY aware of how strong the people in power are and how ruthless they are about crushing dissent because you experienced it personally…well that gets fucking depressing after a while. Because even if you think the whole system needs to go, that feels like a completely unattainable goal when it seems like no one else even sees the problem, or if they see it, they are too afraid to do anything about it. And can you blame them? You know exactly what happens to people who speak up.

So it’s very easy for your goals to shrink from systemic change to just taking yourself and the people you love and finding somewhere for them to be as safe as possible, for as long as the system will let you exist. Because reforming the system is a fool’s errand, and dismantling it entirely seems impossible. I think this is where Crowley is at. Even if on some level he knows it’s an imperfect solution, because both of them have enough compassion that they would feel guilty abandoning Earth and humans to save themselves, and because Heaven and Hell really can find them anywhere in the universe. He just doesn’t see another option.

And look, I think Aziraphale is 100% wrong that Heaven can be reformed. But he is not wrong to want to stay and fight to make things better, even if it means sacrificing the Earthly comforts he loves so much, and even if it means doing it without Crowley by his side.

Ultimately they both need each other. Aziraphale needs Crowley for his willingness to ask questions and to see the scale of the problem, even if it’s terrifying. But Crowley needs Aziraphale for his hope, his stubborn determination to believe things can and should be better, and to fight for that. In the right hands, hope is an enormously powerful weapon.

[maya-caffrey]

Short Circuit

pairing: connor (rk800) x reader words: 1k summary: reader sees Connor outside of work for the first time in normal human clothes and dies a little bit (comedy, fluff) warnings: language, lack of proofreading, fic from reader's pov a/n: let's pretend this is after the good ending and androids can own property now cause we're going to Connor's place etc

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Words cannot describe the amount of hate I have for Fowler. On my day off he asks me to take some evidence over to Connor for a 'quick analysis', like, Jesus Christ dude wait for the labwork like the rest of us. The nerve of this guy, honestly. Anyway, if you were wondering why I was driving to Connor's place first thing on a Sunday, that was it.

Yes, I hate my boss, how original, but I would never pass up an opportunity to see Connor. Sure, he's my colleague, but he's also my friend. And also I may be in love with him have a normal, tiny, minuscule crush on him. I don't know how it happened, I didn't even realize it, but yes, I do, in fact, have feelings for Connor. "Oh but he's an andro-" Go fuck yourself, he's more human than most people these days.

Before I realized it, I was at his place and almost knocked on his door. Almost being the keyword here, because I heard a voice from the inside.

"Detective! Just a minute. I will be right there."

"Holy shit, how did you know? Let me guess, X-ray vision?" It's always something with him. Of course, Cyberlife's most intelligent android comes with X-ray vision. I feel stupid for not guessing right away. Wait, does this mean he had X-ray vision all this time? That feels like an ethical grey area. Is that allowed? My rapid descent down that rabbit hole was interrupted by the sound of the door being unlocked.

"Ring Camera. Come on in!" He led me inside and I absent-mindedly followed him before I noticed it. He was wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants. Connor Anderson (legal name, yes), android detective by day, who famously only wore suits, was standing in front of me, in goddamn sweats. And he looked like he stepped right out of my dreams.

I did not know it was possible to be any level of attractive in fucking pajamas, but oh my god, it absolutely was. He looked hot as hell. I don't know if it was from having only seen him in formals, or the fact that Kamski knowingly made a hottie, but I was reveling in this sight.

His T-shirt fit him exactly as it should have, and his sleeves stopped halfway through the biceps I didn't even know he had. His hair looked unkempt and tousled, which was questionable because there's no way he slept, right? I was very sure he could hear my heartbeat because that sucker was betraying me and beating way too fast.

I could not form coherent thoughts for another full minute or so. I am not even holding back, he genuinely looked so attractive he quite literally stole my breath away. All I could do was mumble nonsense while staring at him like I misplaced my glasses.

"Detective, are you alright?"

"What? Me? Yeah, no problem, bud." Bud???? I'd have slapped myself if I could.

"Your body temperature is rapidly rising and your heart is displaying signs of arrhythmia. I suggest we-"

"I suggest we nothing, Connor. I promise I'm fine." See that kids, right there, is what we call a bald-faced lie.

"If you say so. What brings you here, detective?"

"Detective? Come on, we're not at work, man. Chill."

"Alright then, (Y/n), what brings you here?" (Y/n). The way he said my name made me want to explode. Sure, everyone says my name, its my name but oh my god, when he says it, he makes me want to change my last name to his. Which would be Hank's. Huh. That's weird.

"Right, yeah, work stuff. Fowler sent me with evidence for you to analyze. Apparently, they can't wait for the lab like the rest of us mortals." I shoved the file into his hands a little too quickly, hoping he wouldn’t notice how my hands were shaking. He noticed.

"Your hands are trembling." Of course he noticed. Connor notices everything.

"I'm just… cold," I lied, despite standing in his very well-heated apartment.

Connor tilted his head slightly, that signature analytical look of his making me want to crawl under a rock. "You appear to be experiencing stress. Should I—"

"Connor, no. I don't need an analysis, I need to… sit down." That was the best I could come up with. Great. Very smooth.

"Please, make yourself comfortable," he said, gesturing toward his couch. I moved to sit down, hoping a change of scenery would calm my nerves. It didn’t.

Connor sat across from me, still in those damn sweatpants, his expression unreadable as he opened the file and started flipping through its contents. His focus should’ve made me feel at ease- it was just Connor being Connor- but instead, I found myself staring at his hands. They were annoyingly perfect, like the rest of him, and I couldn’t stop imagining what it would feel like if he- nope. No. Abort mission.

"Is something wrong with the file?" he asked suddenly, looking up.

"What? No! The file's fine. Great file. Top-tier evidence. You're gonna love it." Jesus Christ, someone take my mouth away.

Connor raised an eyebrow. "You’re behaving… unusually."

"I’m behaving perfectly normal," I said, crossing my arms in what I hoped was a casual way but probably looked defensive. "Maybe you're the one behaving unusually. I mean, sweatpants? Who are you and what have you done with Connor?"

He blinked, then looked down at himself as if realizing for the first time what he was wearing. "Hank suggested I try some human rituals like pajamas and sleep to better accommodate my deviancy. He claims it’s a key aspect of ‘human relaxation.’ Was this choice inappropriate?"

"No!" I said, a little too quickly. "No, you look—" amazing, perfect, hotter than anyone has a right to look "—fine. You look fine."

Connor studied me for a moment, and I swear I saw the faintest flicker of amusement cross his face. Was he… smirking? Oh no. Oh no, he knew.

"You should consider it," he said, casually returning to the file.

"Consider what?"

"Relaxing. You seem… tense."

And just like that, the ball was back in his court. I was flustered, he was composed, and I was left wondering how I was supposed to get through the rest of this visit without making a complete fool of myself.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t.

a/n: y'all, this is my first time writing dbh, sorry if it sucks T_T

[dalliancekay]

Aziraphale and Manipulation

I want to address a couple of things re: manipulation:

Aziraphale is naïve and gullible and easily fooled

Aziraphale is a manipulative asshole who doesn't take no for an answer

Metatron

Points 1 and 2

Funny how both of these seem to be true at the same time for people who dislike Aziraphale or think that Crowley should never be challenged or disagreed with or teased, even though in canon, he literally says or acts in ways that prove he absolutely loves his unpredictable spouse who makes him laugh and react and act in unexpected ways.

Which also points to the strange discrepancy in how fanon Crowley is incredibly powerful, having had created the entire Universe AND brought a human back to life (neither of which is true btw) and also weak cos he gives in to his partner against his will (I know this is not how manipulation of that kind works, but I also don't think people who accuse A+C of this unhealthy dynamic understand our couple so it's just a stupid comparison because Aziraphale knows exactly when to back down from teasing his love, much like he did with the car colour to calm Crowley's agitation).

I am not going to address these points at any length anyway, because I think they are, frankly stupid. I am just pointing out that people who make Aziraphale a villain can make him a villain in any way they wish, even if the points are on opposite scales and both untrue.

And just so you know, Crowley would hate you for this. Crowley adores the angel because Aziraphale is constantly challenging him, surprising him and bringing his best self out. Because Aziraphale is silly and kind and believes in the best of everyone and thinks being good is a superpower.

Point 3

I feel like my manipulative and your manipulative might be different manipulatives in the fandom. Especially when it comes to Final 15.

For me, Metatron being manipulative means him not saying things straight, not saying what he really means, because such things as he wants and plans are not really 'good' good, if you see what I mean. And we can't have that for Heaven. After all, we aren't killing Job's kids... we are just ... not stopping Hell from killing them - Gabriel learned from the best. When Metatron decided on running circles around Aziraphale and has carefully chosen his words ("Now if you wanted to work with him again, that might be considered irregular..."), he made sure Aziraphale understood that the 'offer' was actually a way out of something far worse that Metatron was not going to stoop down to name (or perhaps he did but we didn't see it).

And Aziraphale understood and his heart broke and he started to feel truly terrified (we saw it in real time - just compare the above gif with the below one when Furfur too, threatened Crowley

And then poor Aziraphale tried to go on and explain all this to Crowley while not knowing how and suspecting he will be closely monitored while doing so.

Now. Anyone who thinks Aziraphale would want to make Crowley an angel to make him HAPPIER has completely misunderstood both Aziraphale and imo, Good Omens too.

Crowley was happy when we met him before time in S2 because he was innocent and fully himself (3/4 goofy, 1/4 part self-centred). This is not something Aziraphale could achieve (even if wanted to - but why would he?) by making him an angel again. And he's definitely not stupid to think this would happen. It might have happened if they took Crowley's memories perhaps. And he'd be back to his young self. Like Gabriel/Jim. And if you think Aziraphale would agree (or like!) that, you are insane.

This:

is a threat. Letting Aziraphale know that him going to Heaven (and Crowley agreeing to one more drastic change on top of going there) is the only way they could perhaps work together again. Staying, was never an option. And I don't actually care if that's something that can be done and/or whether Metatron would have followed through if Crowley by some miracle had said yes.

Because Metatron clearly expected Crowley will say no (I also suspect he had good reasons to expect this, perhaps some that Aziraphale doesn't know of), and I bet Aziraphale knew in his heart of hearts that Crowley would never agree either. Perhaps he didn't even want him to agree. He wouldn't want Crowley to be unhappy. But then, he was going to end up unhappy anyway, was he not? They both were. There was no other way. So if Aziraphale allowed himself a bit of hope that they could be together still, who are we to blame and judge him for it? (No, don't answer that.) He must have thought this is forever. That they are parting forever.

But for some people, it seems to me, Metatron being manipulative means that Metatron pulled on some of Aziraphale's 'strings' and blinded him to make him come to Heaven against reason/common sense/better options/forever and ever with his love.

whether it's his trust that Heaven can be made good (Aziraphale is many things, but he is not vain, he could not possibly think he can fix Heaven by himself like some incarnation of Melon Tusk. Try? Perhaps. With Crowley? Maybe. But in current situation? He did not believe that.

or perhaps Aziraphale missed Heaven? Missed being part of the Plan? Missed God? Wanted to get back on it? Like the poor little lost sheep he is? Please. The angel pursed his lips and looked over his shoulder when Crowley was happily switching on stars, talking of suggestion boxes. Aziraphale knew Heaven was far from perfect or benevolent or merciful or even understanding, long before Crowley.

So no, Aziraphale wasn't led like some puppet on a string, fed a few lies, gotten a few bits of praise and forgotten everything he ever thought or knew. Do you think Aziraphale is so stupid he didn't see Metatron wanted him to come to Heaven without making a fuss? He didn't need to see (what Crowley saw) to understand he was being made to come quietly.

After all, Metatron had experience with flashy exits before. And perhaps Aziraphale understood too, that coming without cuffs and with his memories intact will give him whatever little leverage he can find.

Metatron also knew giving the wayward angel in front of him any spare moment could end up in disaster, because that exact thing happened before.

What was Aziraphale supposed to do if Metatron didn't take a no (a several of them in fact) for an answer? Metatron is the Voice of God, apparently the highest being after God. Was Az to ignore Metatron? Go back to the bookshop and lock the door?

What would have happened? Metatron would throw his arms up and go - oh well, I guess I'll leave them to their Armageddon averting, huge miracle making partnership where they can easily fool and blind both Heaven and Hell combined with barely any effort. No reason I should worry.

But he should worry.

Because Aziraphale fooled Hell easily once

And he can do it with Heaven too

And he will.

[nothomegal]

ITS CHRISTMAS EVE (or at least where I live bc timezones) and I would like to gove Pyramid Head smoochies under mistletoe pls 😌

Aww I was having this idea too! And since it's Christmas allow me to bless you with a drawing!...

...And a lilttle one-shot!

"Mistletoe"

(Pyramid Head x GN Reader)

Warning: suggestive implications by the end, but mostly fluff!

Word Count: 1k

Christmas was always a funny holiday for (Y/N). Either because they never truly felt connected to it or because they haven't felt the 'magic of Christmas' since childhood. Don't get me wrong, they would still put some decorations when they could, but ever since they came to Silent Hill such tradition was lost.

Not like they mind it too much though, they already have the absolute best gift and company they could ever ask for! Just tell me, who in their right mind would be upset about having a nearly 8ft tall demi-god creature as your forever partner? You have to be chronically insane to turn down such blessing!

And speaking of the creature, (Y/N)'s daydream was interrupted when a large hand curled around their arm and stopped them. They shoot a curious glance to their lover, who was already looking at whatever got his attention.

Right above them, placed on the old metallic door frame with, what they suppose is duct tape, were hangign a bunch of oddly shaped pieces of paper. Some pieces where green, others painted green, and all of them where kept together with a piece of damaged red cloth that was tied as a bow.

(Y/N) stares at that weird construction with furrowed brows, really trying to grasp what the hell they're looking at. Pyra was still as well, but his head tilted towards his human as he curiously observes their reaction. Seems like they too have no clue what is this-.

However, (Y/N) manages to make out the shape of it and instantly burst out laughing.

—"No way! No way someone actually made one!"— you say between laughs.

The beast simply observes them, letting out a low wondering rumble. Is that another pointless joke humans have? (Y/N) is laughing hard so it must be something very funny or very stupid.

After the laughter had ceased, (Y/N) takes a look at their monster and suddenly remember what he wanted in the first place. Oh, right. They were supposed to explain what is that.

—"Okay, okay."— you say between giggles as you point at the object. —"That thing over there is supposed to be a mistletoe. Remember when I told you about Christmas and how people decorate that one fuzzy tree? Well, this thing is also kinda a Christmas tradition. People hang it somewhere high and when two step or pass underneath it, they have to kiss."—

While (Y/N) explains, Pyra listens to them carefully. But the second they mention the kiss part, the air between them shifts and becomes... Odd. And Pyra himself still, way too still.

(Y/N) of course feels the change, and is quick to start clarifying.

—"But of course, it's optional. It's not like you're forced to kiss anyone. If anything, I never did! So I suppose this will remain as a silly tradition some-"—

Their speech is replaced by a tiny gasp when the monster suddenly grabs their jaw, gently lifting and moving their gaze where he needed. Their eyes narrow slightly when they noticed a tongue peek out from his helmet and slowly, almost shily, wiggle towards their face.

—"Aww. What a polite guy."— you chuckle as a little blush creeps on your cheeks. —"Well of course I'll give you a kiss."—

Ever since they introduced this new method of showing affection, it wasn't rare to witness Pyra ask for a 'kiss' once or twice. It's kinda funny to see how shy he gets, always taking it slow and giving them enough time to stop or pull away. Do they do that? Nuh-uh! Do they think it feels gross? Weird, yes. But (Y/N) is deranged so it's fine.

The pink muscle soon presses against their lips, and they respond by giving it a kiss while holding it in place gently, totally unbothered by its wet and slippery texture. They could feel Pyra practically melt into the gesture, he does it every time. It's small, but is the closest they can get to an actual kiss, and the intimacy and specialness of it seems to get the beast to his very core.

After some second, when (Y/N) attempts to lean back, a pair of big arms gets a hold around them, cementing them in place completely and pulling them closer to the monster. The said beast lets out a low menacing growl as his tongue licks their cheek and part of the jaw. The message was clear...

M̵̞͔̥̏̌̊o̷͕͒̓͑ͅŗ̷̭̝̓̾e̵̠̤͓̅̒̋.

He wanted more.

Despite the apparentaly hostile growls, (Y/N) showed no intimidation and simply chuckled as they roll their eyes.

—"Someone is feeling frisky, huh?"—

Another, and a bit louder, growl resonated from inside the beast's helmet. His grip around them tightening and the tongue sliding along their lips, almost begging for them to kiss it again.

—"Calm down tiger. We both know if we continue you'll get too carried on."— you coo, sliding one of your hands along one side of his helmet.

He groans with certain displeasure, but his grip soon losens as he slightly tilts his head into their touch, yet he doesn't let go neither.

—"If you're really feeling like doing it then let's go somewhere else. You don't want anyone to see me naked, don't you?"—

This time their answer is no longuer a growl or a sound, but the same pair of big hands lighting their form up and swinging over a broad shoulder.

Before starting to walk however, the monster reaches up and snatches the little paper mistletoe. (Y/N) of course notices that and can't hold back the little laugh.

—"Well well, see you really liked this particular tradition."—

They get no response as the monster resumes his walking. But the small squeeze on one of their thighs was enough proof to know that they got it right and it won't be the last time the see the little item.

After this little interaction, and probably after what's about to come, (Y/N) doubts to ever be able to feel that magic of Christmas again.

However, they realize that they still experienced something new. The magic of the mistletoe.

Is that an actual thing? Who knows.

But it worked on Pyra so it must be a thing, right?

It worked well after all.

...Too well.

[theblueflower05]

OH UR IN FOR IT NOW

thoughts: jake sully cockwarming human reader and she keeps squirming around to cum but he’s so much bigger that he can just hold her still while she whines and pouts

(also i know he’s so cocky and condescending with his dirty talk)

Oh oh oh. Fuck yes.

Listen. There is something so sexy about Avatar/Na’vi x Human smut. I don’t care. It’s going to get me going every time, I eat this shit UP.

@hinataashoyos kills this dynamic and if you want to read some absolutely delish Jake content- please give her blog a follow.

And I loveeeeee the idea of Jake and his little human fuck buddy.

Because like. You’re everything he’s attracted to- just his type. You’re petite with killer curves, a rack and ass to die for. The sweet florally perfume you wear makes him dizzy with want and the gloss you have perma swiped across your full lips sparkles in the fluorescent lights of the labs that you can usually be found in.

He eats girls like you up back on Earth. Even in his chair, he knew he was a panty dropper.

Smut under the cut

But you’re different. You’re sharp as a tack and come from a good family back on terra firme. Fancy college degrees under your belt, all paid for by mommy and daddy’s money. A social butterfly. Hell, he bets you’d been a sorority girl. Kappa Kappa Gamma, or some nonsense of that nature.

You’d never go for a disabled ex-military grunt like him- or so he’s convinced himself.

You work in close quarters with the rest of the Science lame brains, are close with Grace and Max.

Xeno-Cultural Anthropologist, he learns your title early one.

You’re here to help crack the code around the Navi- deeply fascinated by their rich culture. Diverse clans, and multilayered language. Besides Grace, you’re about the only RDA human let within 100 miles of Home Tree.

Your accolades and experience, at your young age, are stacked. All of these things should make you a stuck up priss-

And yet you’re not. Not at all.

The more he gets the know you, the worse his interest in you gets.

You’re funny, in a goofy way that doesn’t match your sharp vernacular. Your frequent jokes are vulgar and down right dumb.

And helpful, you never make him feel stupid the way the others do. You’re more then happy to sit down with him after a long day of him being linked out in the Jungle- you’re just about the only reason why he’s finally starting to grasp the language.

And so so sweet. You don’t make him feel useless or infantiled in his chair; you treat him like the capable grown man he is- but make him meals like you do all for all your friends. Help him with his laundry. Bring him electrolyte drinks when he’s half asleep doing his video logs.

A couple months in, and Jakes interest has spawned into a full fledged crush.

When Grace swoops him away fro Quaritch and his influence- you go with. All the way up into the Hallelujah Mountains.

The extra close quarters and isolation just makes it worse.

The pajamas you wear to bed aren’t skimpy or sexy in nature- but damn do you look good in the small shorts and obscure band tee that falls to your knees.

He nearly loses his shit when you bend over one morning, your wide ass on display. The tiny sleep shorts do nothing to cover the plush cheeks and he’s never wanted to dig his teeth into something more.

You act like you didn’t see him discreetly hide his blushing face in his cup of coffee.

The same way that he acts like he doesn’t see you ogling him in Avatar form. You all but drool over the smooth blue skin and endless muscles.

He wonders if that’s the only way you’ll have him, in a body that’s not his.

It had all come to a head pretty soon after that.

At the core of it; the two of you are travelers, stuck on a foreign planet. All it takes is a particularly lonely night; one where some how the two of you had gotten a moment alone, for all of the emotion to bubble up.

You’d ended up in Jakes lap, in his chair. Grinding down onto him, your tongue down his throat as he wrapped his strong tattooed arms around you.

Safe to say you want Jake Sully however you can get him.

It’s a free for all after that and Grace straight up has to tell you guys to cool it down after stumbling upon you and Jake, him in his Avatar form, in the trees just behind the bunkers. His head had been buried between your naked thighs- your face blushing behind your Exo Mask. Grace had not been impressed.

“Between you two and Norm and Trudy, it’s like I’m living in a fucking frat house. Cut it out, before I citation all of you for interpersonal relationships. I swear, we’re supposed to be grown ups here, guys- ever heard of workplace discretion!”

Graces threats are empty, but Jake knows you respect her enough to take em to heart.

So it turns into a game of sorts.

The two of you try to get each other off as often as possible. As fast as possible. As hidden as possible.

All the sneaking around makes him feel like a teenager, alive and exhilarated when he’s in both of his bodies.

But he hates the quickies. He wants the time to worship your body thoroughly.

He jumps at the chance- when Norm rides along with Trudy to take Grace back to Hell’s Gate. She’s a higher up, after all. She has mountain’s of paperwork and reports she needs to do. That’s fine.

That means he gets to be alone with you.

He savors the night. The trailers are a tight fit for his Avatar body, but he pushes the bunk beds to an opposite wall and the two of you make a nest of sorts on the cold metal floor. All the pillows and blankets you can find to cushion yourselves.

You lie next to each other, facing one and other- as you explore each other with slow groping touches in the low light. Only the computer screens left on to illuminate the space.

It’s like neither of you can get enough.

His large calloused hands run along your curves- all that soft supple skin. Your plush breasts and doughy thighs and ass. You feel so good- you truly might be the only soft thing on the rugged planet of Pandora.

Your petite hands are eager too. You trace his arms, his broad shoulders, his tapered waist. Your wide eyes follow the path of your fingers.

“Holy shit, Jake. You’re built like a brick shit house- where did all this muscle come from?”

He chuckles at the awe in your tone. “Trainings been intense- Neytiris been riding my ass lately. I’m up before the sun rises in those trees”

“Remind me to thank her next time I see her” you mutter distractedly as you squeeze at his defined bicep.

It’s insanely good, but then again it always is.

Jake tastes your spit, and you hard little nipples and your dripping cunt. Feasting himself on your skin slowly.

The more orgasms he can wring out of you- the easier it will be for you to take his cock. He needs your body as loose as he can get it.

After what feels like hours getting fucked with his huge fingers, and rough textured tongue, you’re begging for him.

You can take it. You want to be full of him, you whine the words with big teary eyes that you know he can’t refuse.

He fucks into you slow- watching as you take him. Your pussy always looks like she’s going to break. Stretched to it’s limits, lips puffy and enflamed as his cock sinks in. The contrast of his indigo skin and your human flush is fucking hypnotic.

This isn’t the first time he’s fucked you in this body and it won’t be the last.

Every round seems to be better then the last- louder. Wetter. More passionate. You’re full of so much cum, there’s no way that your tiny womb could hold it even if it tried.

Na’vi libidos are something else.

He has stamina that he didn’t even know existed. After round three you’re out, all but asleep in his arms. Limp and ragdoll like in his oversized arms.

“You can keep going” your voice is paper thin and far away. Jakes not sure how you’re even coherent at this point.

He takes you into his lap, gently, but keeping you stuffed full to the brim with his cock.

You whimper and bury your messy face in his huge sweaty chest.

“I just need one more” Jake reassures you, petting your hair, stroking down your back. His hands are large and soothing, it’s so easy for him to touch all of you at once. “You don’t even have to move all that much, baby. Just let me come one more time, yeah?”

You nod, and really it’s just your head lulling in his clavicle. You’d lost the ability to control your muscles hours ago. “Yeah, mhmm”

Jake doesn’t even need to bounce you. Just having your pussy wrapped around him, tighter then anything he’s ever felt, is enough.

You sit on his lap, his cum flowing out of you. Down your thighs. Onto his own groin. And warm his cock.

It’s erotic and intimate and as he holds you close he thinks about Neytiris words. Tsaheylu- the sacred bond. He’s felt it with direhorse- and his ikran. A part of him wishes that he could feel it with you.

When he empties the last of his milky, iridescent cum inside of you and you pull back from his chest enough to give him a small smile, he thinks that no.

This is enough.

I LOVE YOU JAKE MOTHER FUCKING SULLY UGHHHHHHHHH. I swear he fucking remixed the game in the first Avatar. I will never ever ever get over him.

[iamlostsomewhereinthegarden]

Took me a while because I literally did everyone lol, so here we have:

Obey me characters and their fashion styles Pt. 2

Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shi- This is part 2 as there is the stupid 3 gifs/images per post limit

Pt 1.

Solomon

Only has one proper fit in his closet that he put together everything else was bought and put together for him by Asmo

Has little interest in fashion and with the years blurring by in his human mind has lost track of what is actually fashionable so can't really dress properly outside of suit and tie events since there isn't much variations in that

Always in something that covers his body because he dislikes showing off his pact marks and whatever scars he has on his body

Despite this all his clothes are breathable and doesn't overheat him, he overheats often very easily and just uses magic to seem unbothered but he wears breathable clothing to avoid one more chore

Let him dress you and you'll come out looking like a damned hot mess never let him actually dress you, let him put in opinions and give out ideas but never let him actually dress you!

Diavolo

On par with Lucifer with the fact that he can only dress formally properly as he's been having to do it forever

His difference is that casual clothing (on the rare occasions that is) is a mix of Lucifer's casual and Solomon's fashion sense because he doesn't get to dress casual often and refuses to let Barbatos find something suitable for him to wear

Really likes themed clothing though and will try and force Lucifer or even push Barbatos to wear matching clothing with him Mephibfrebchd wishes he could be like that with Diavolo

Compared to Solomon though Diavolo is more on the cringe leaning side and will gladly look like a pair of dads with Lucifer and wear Hawaiian shirts with khakis

Even with his bad fashion sense it's hard to make fun of him or even tell him it sucks because what do you mean you're gonna bully someone who rarely ever gets the freedom to be chill and choose his own stuff and rarely gets a chance to wear these crappy casual clothing? WHAT DO YOU MEAN??????

Let him dress you and you'll come out wearing some matching cringe shit with him, yes it's gonna be embarrassing but on the bright side not only did the King of Hell dress you but you're matching with him! Anyone who makes fun of you is also making fun of the king so they better get ready to grovel for forgiveness

Barbatos

The king of formal wear

Despite this he does know how to dress casual and for any event and how to not look weird either

He has to as he dresses Diavolo and has been taking care of him from since forever

He's just simply one hell of a butler

His no specific style outside of not really being fond of clothing that may show his body

Let him dress you and you'll come out looking in the most ideal way of your style, he's a butler that caters to other's needs so he knows how to dress people to their tastes!

Though if you let him dress you how'd he like you to look you'll come out looking like a royal or a noble as  that is what you are to him

Simeon

(Btw why does he dress like a slut)

Has a very casual sense of style tbh, not too formal but not too cozy and lazy, the perfect middle

Though I'd have to say most of his clothes has no sleeves, he has a weird problem with sleeves on his clothing though he will wear them to be appropriate.

Enjoys the fact that heaven gives them stuff to wear cause he actually dislikes finding outfits

Despite this the king of casual comfy clothing like the first fit you try you love immediately 

Let him dress you and you'll come out in an outfit that you'll often wear cause it's so good

Luke

I feel like dressing with him would be like dress up time with a child

Doesn't know much about fashion since that is not something to be focused on in Heaven and I'm pretty sure they restricted for what they can wear

Has the innate ability to pick out very cute looking clothing though it may not always be comfortable sadly

Dresses in the cute shota fashion, think like Mitsukuni Haninozuka from Ouran Host Club

Is fine dressing in any color but likes dressing in pastel colors the most outside of any shade of blue and yellow

Let him dress you and you'll come out looking adorable! like so cute, very cute and probably matching with him.

Raphael

(Why is he dressed even sluttier????? WHY IS ASMO MORE DRESSED THAN BOTH OF THE ADULT ANGELS 90 OF THE TIME??? IS HEAVEN A STRIP CLUB????????)

If we think Solomon was bad Raphael is 10x worse because at least Solomon has an idea of what he thinks is cool and what is fashionable even if it sucks Raphael has no idea or care

All outfits chosen by himself is weird and uncoordinated or similar to his regular fit so almost everything for the world to see

Constantly manages to find the most comfortable clothes you can possibly find also, so though he looks weird he's comfy

Actually prefers to have as much skin out as possible as it makes it easier for him to move around and fight if needed

Hates clothing that fully covers his skin and it makes him feel stifled, prefers stuff that isn't close to his skin (he just like me fr)

Let him dress you and you'll come out looking veryyyyyy funky but very mobile and somehow very comfortable, demons stare at you and tell you that "you have a unique sense of fashion" and you have to let them know that you let the "Angel with the Spear dressed you today" and suddenly they understand and are sorry for you

Thirteen

Thirteen is an amazing fashionista and has an amazing sense of style

I'm sure you can tell by her personalized reaper uniform and R.A.D. uniform but she loves alt styles 

All her clothing is different and ranges from comfortable to non comfortable but most are comfortable because it's supposed to be something she likes

Also doesn't care much for how much of her body is exposed but prefers to always carry some sort of sweater she likes her arms covered but doesn't always care for sleeves or long gloves (she's just like me fr)

Go to a thrift shop with her and she'll find the coolest and comfiest stuff to wear

Let her dress you and you'll come out looking so fucking cool, you'll look like those people on magazines or that cool alt person you see that you add to your pinterest board

Mephihdewuhcds Mephistopheles

On the same level of dressing as Lucifer and Diavolo (simp) but when asked to dress down dresses like a prep kid

The brands on this man radiates so much money that Mammon's mouth waters and you look like a walking cash bag to him

Most of his clothing is very uncomfortable but he's just gotten used to it (I personally believe he comes from a shitty noble family hence why he's so stuck up) so comfy clothing is foreign and weird to him

Does not know how to dress casual (even in rich branded clothing) as the average person may see it, and is very uncomfortable in casual clothing because of his upbringing

Let him dress you and you'll come out looking similar to how Satan would dress you, a prep student that aces all their exams! (though the clothes may be a bit uncomfortable)

Tags:@kisakis-boyfriend

[lotomber]

INCUBUS BSD MEN x virgin needy fem reader 😉😊😀

Just saying...you can do whatever you want with that...but...

please add chuuya ❤️

Incubus! Chuuya just makes me feel things😳😵 so I just thought about making a threesome with Incubus! Dazai.🫣

Deviant night!

Pairing: Incubus! Chuuya x Incubus! Dazai x Virgin Fem! Reader

Warning: Nsfw, Dub-con, Threesome, their bite has the effect of aphrodisac , slight mentions of Blood, Degradation, Oral, pussy slapping, anal, piv, double penetration, mdni, not proof read

It was finally the end of the semester exams so your friends decided to go clubbing you were not really the party type of person cause you find them tiring but for once you agreed to go with them. The place was full of people dancing intimately with each other with a lingering scent of sex and alcohol. After dancing for a while with your friends you went to have some drinks. As you sat there waiting for your drink, two man came and sat besides you "Seems like you came here to enjoy with your friends!" said the brown haired man, he had chocolaty brown orbs with long lashes and beautiful face. He was accompanied by a shorter handsome man with red hair and deep blue eyes. You were awe struck by their captivating appearance.

"Ah yes, our exam finished today so my friends wanted to celebrate." you replied swirling the drink in your glass.

"Hmm but it doesn't seem like you're enjoying yourself that much?" said the redhead.

"Oh! By the way I'm Dazai and this here is Chuuya, you can also call him doggy if you want to."

"Oi who the hell are you calling doggy you stupid freak!" you couldn't help but chuckle a bit seeing them bicker.

"I'm (name) Seems like you both are good friends" you said sipping your drink.

"Hell no! hmm let's just say this chuuya here is a colleague of mine."

"So you came here to have some drinks with your colleague?"

"Hmm no but we both do come regularly here. But you still haven't answered our question, you don't seem to be enjoying here as much as your friends?"

"Ahh does it seem that way to you? It's just that I don't usually come to places like this so I feel a bit awkward."

"Well there's nothing there to be awkward about here. It's just a club where people come to mingle and enjoy themselves. A perfect place for night! But if you want we can show you something more fascinating" Chuuya leaned closer to you whispering the last part in your ear. You gulped a bit "What do you mean by fascinating?"

"Oh cm'on Darling we both know that you're not that naive! you very well understand what we mean." Yes you very well understood what they meant. You should've refused but maybe it was the alcohol acting up in your system or it was just something so alluring and bewitching about them that you ignored the dangerous glint in their eyes and agreed to them.

Both Chuuya and Dazai are incubus and feed on the sexual energy of humans, a club is the perfect place for them to find their prey and feast on them on a daily basis. But since the moment you entered the club, both of them had their eyes on you cause they sensed you were a virgin and it's rare to find a virgin to feed on so despite their aversion to each other they both agreed to share you.

After that you don't really remember how y'all ended up in a hotel room, the only thing you could feel at the moment were their gentle yet firm touches on your body making you crave for more. As you felt dazai's tongue clashing with yours for dominance while chuuya striped you naked, spreading your legs apart. You twitch a bit as you felt the cold air on your bare pussy but chuuya's grip on your legs remain firm as he leaves dark red and purple hickies on your thighs moving towards your core. You groan as dazai suddenly bares his fang deep in your shoulders as your blood trickles down but instead of pain you felt a sudden rush of heat throughout your body as your breathe gets heavier. You try to clamp your thighs on chuuya as you felt your core aching for a release.

"Tch Doll don't be so impatient we are just get started or are you just a desperate little slut?"

"Mm..m No I..I ahh~" you were cut off by dazai as he starts biting and nibbling your nipple, while kneading your other tit a bit forcefully. You let out a sultry moan as you finally felt chuuya's tongue on your dripping pussy.

"Ahh f..fuck doll you taste so ravishing" he mercilessly starts sucking and slurping your pussy. While Dazai rams his cock in your mouth, you gag on his length struggling to take him fully. He grips yours hair thrusting his length to the back of throat in a to and fro motion as you suck him. You couldn't help but squirm as chuuya suck and glides his fangs on your bud but dazai keeps you in place while shoving his length. Tears fell down your cheeks from the continuous stimulation and as dazai keeps shoving his cock deep bruising your throat. You felt him throbbing in your mouth as he lets out low groans and grunts, cumming in your mouth as you swallow his thick, hot seeds. After a while you also came squirting all over chuuya's mouth as he let out a satisfying moan.

You pant heavily as chuuya pulls you in his lap your back on his chest supporting and helping you calm down from your high. You were still feeling the effect of dazai's bite as you try to rub your hips on chuuya's length trying to gain some friction.

"Hngh You are just a needy slut aren't you! All desperate to whore herself out." You felt your pussy throbbing and getting more aroused from how chuuya degraded you.

"Ha ha Looks like this whore really does like to be humiliated huh" the brunette said as he spread apart your legs aligning his cock on your wet entrance. You mewl and whine as he grinds his tip on your folds.

"Ahh Mmm please d..don't tease me I..I can't take it"

"Oh princess then tell us what you want, beg for it like the desperate slut you are!" Your could have never expected yourself doing something like this but right now you were just desperate to be relieved from this agonizing pain in your cunt.

"P...please i...i want you" you whisper as you tried to hide your embarrassment. Dazai slaps your pussy hard "Say it loudly princess or else you won't get what you want" slap* slap*

" Ahh Ahh w..wait I...please I beg you please fuck me" not waiting anymore dazai slides his cock in your pussy slowly stretching you out. You whine and moan all while adjusting to his length. Dazai's eyes roll back as he grunts keeping your thighs open with a hard grip. As dazai bottoms out chuuya lifts your hips a bit adjust his length on your butt hole.

"I can't take two of you!" you try to protest but chuuya's grip remain firm on your body.

"Oh don't worry you can take it doll, We'll make sure you do!" your weight fell on chuuya as you felt his and dazai's cock barging in your butt hole and pussy at the same time.

"f..fuck ease up a bit darling, you're squeezing too hard does it feel that good?"

"I..I can't help ittt" you let out a dragged moan as chuuya bounces you on his lap all while dazai thrusting in you at the same time. Chuuya leaves wet kisses all over your nape as both of them mercilessly rails you. Neither of them had the marcy or patience to slow down as they kept fucking you with such vigor. You felt the heat in your abdomen as the knot breaks and you come undone all over both of them. You kept chanting their name like a mantra as they kept fucking you through your orgasm. You felt your vision blurring and your body melting from all the overstimulation, you couldn't comprehend what was happening anymore and you were just scared from how good it felt! Soon you felt their cock throbbing as they filled both your holes with their hot cum. You went limp as both them halted their movements only to start moving again.

"n..no please no more I can't" you beg them to stop as they just turn deaf to your pleas.

"Shh darling just relax, and let us ruin you!"

[eldritch-spouse]

I'd give almost anything to be squished between Vesper and Santi.

[You'll give your holes, that's for sure. Fem reader.]

" Are you sure I'm ready? "

Santi watches you squirm in place, picking and plucking at an outfit that shows more skin than anything you've ever put on before. He assured you, several times, that by the standards of Lust you're being very conservative.

The incubus rolls his eyes for what feels like the hundredth time, but tries to be patient. After all, going to Hell, even if just for a little visit, isn't something all humans treat casually. Especially not his darling match, poor thing that you are, so ignorant of his origins, his nature. Visiting the King of Lust specifically is twofold the stress for your little head, he must imagine.

" And why wouldn't you be, love? "

You huff.

" I... I don't know... What if I get nervous and say something really stupid? This is a -What did you call them?- An Icon of Hell, I can't be making a fool of myself- "

" Dearest. " The dark demonoid interrupts, lifting himself off a lush bed to stand behind your figure in the mirror. " Vesper may be a King, but he's also my friend. I only want him to know about us, you're going to do just fine. "

Averting your gaze from his, your lips are still firmly set in a frown.

Santi whispers sweetly. " Don't you trust me? "

" Y- Yes. "

There's a grin. He plays with the hem of your scarce top enough to let a nipple flash for a lurid second.

" Then do this one favor for me, I promise you'll like him. He's quite the character. " Understatement.

He can hear your heartbeat pound inside the vehicle.

The trip through his birth Ring has been uneventful for the most part. It could only have been that. You may be considered fresh meat by his kin that inhabit this particular zone of Hell, but you're accompanied by a high-ranker and being escorted in a limousine sporting the royal insignia.

No one would dare interfere.

It doesn't stop the curious glances, the oohs and aahs, or the sights Lust often has on display. The streets are an open ground for depravity, it's very standard to watch pairs and groups of demonoids crawling over each other in a cacophony of moans, humans and monsters alike giving into their carnal whims, lewd smiles on their faces as they're paraded in fetish gear and shown off like the prizes many of them are.

Santi watches your scandalized expressions as you nearly fog up the window in morbid curiosity.

" S- Santi! "

" Mm? "

" They're- Oh lord, they're tied to a post Santi! "

He arches a brow, fingers ceasing their casual groping of your thighs to glance out, seeing some poor sod of a human tied to a street post by the wrists. They look disheveled and pant in exertion, sweaty, infernal obscenities scribbled on their skin while gratuitous amounts of seed ooze out of their orifices. They lean on the post for support.

" Oh, the poor thing- " He jests, failing to keep straight-faced at your glare. " They're going to keel over! "

The fiend who had just finished using the community cumdump gives them a loving pat on the head and reaches from a bag to offer the human water. The two appear to be chatting idly. Santi watches confusion etch itself in your pretty complexion at the contrast of the human's bruised, exhausted state and the care they're shown by the one you recognize as an assailant.

The nature of Lust is conflicting.

It's oftentimes hard to tell whether or not someone is here of their own volition, partaking and letting go because they decided to, or because they caved under the Ring's influence and began to enjoy their unfortunate demise.

Some people argue that Lust is the most merciful Ring of Hell for those that get dragged into the annex, because while you may lose yourself, your last lucid moments are spent in utter bliss, and that bliss is what you'll know from henceforth. Others argue that Lust offers the ultimate humiliation of the soul, turning you into a beast of the flesh that craves only to use and be used.

Santi doesn't quite care. The end result is always the same, everyone enjoys themselves here.

Deciding that perhaps it's best not to let you get too into your own head, the incubus looms behind your concentrated figure and plants soft kisses on the back of your neck, gently coaxing you to turn around so he can pull you into his lap and shower you in idle affections.

" Santi... " You start while he kisses the back of your hand.

" Yes, love? "

" How did you and the King meet? "

What a question.

He doesn't want to think too much about those days, that past which seems so distant yet not at all. He was someone else, back then. Someone harsher, someone you wouldn't have fancied, someone who'd make you quake in fear even if your loins sang. He wouldn't have been able to appreciate you for the treasure that you are, during that period. You deserve more than that, you're worth the world and all its pleasures.

" I don't remember all that well anymore, but I know it was during a party, sweetness. " He vaguely replies.

" An orgy. " You correct him, having started to put two and two together about the cultural cues of a concubus' speech.

" Same thing. " Santi counters, knowing very well there's a difference.

A silence settles for a brief couple of moments where the incubus gets to close his eyes and bask in the comfort of your perfect form, feeling your every muscle twitch against him, the hitch of your breath as arousal has yet to fade from your system.

He's doing this intentionally.

For things to go well today, it's ideal for you to always be somewhat stimulated. Plus, he's always loved watching you writhe and try to conceal your own desires. Not as much as Santi adores seeing you boldly demand he do obscenities to you. For you. To please you.

" You used to live here before, right? "

" Mhmm... " He hums smoothly.

" What made you want to leave Hell? "

Santi halts, gathering his thoughts, coming up with a decently abstract yet still valid answer.

" I wasn't happy with myself back then, love. I figured a change of scenery couldn't hurt. "

Half-truths, oh bittersweet as they are, he almost doesn't feel bad when you smile your blind acceptance.

" I'm glad you decided to leave. "

The monster's heart stirs in its confines.

" What, you wouldn't want to move in here? The heart of Lust? " Santi mocks.

" Fuck no- "

And he cackles.

You've entered mansion grounds.

This sly-eyed imp with pointed hair introduced himself as King Vesper's head imp, and has been escorting you two through the halls of the royal mansion so far.

If you had to describe the place, you'd call it deceptive.

Deceptively ornate. Suspiciously calm. Questioningly beautiful.

There's something amiss, is a better way to put the vibe of this location.

Varying shades of pink fade invitingly into purples and reds that seem to comfort and beckon. Many were the gold-swirled corners and turns that you peered into momentarily before returning to following the guide. The furniture and décor is just standardly royal enough to make you wonder if many of the set ups are meant to be as phallic and yonic as they seem. You could swear one of the walls had patterns carved into it that resembled the vulvas of countless individuals. A statue was poised just suggestively enough that it resembled malehood. Many are the paintings and figurines scattered across walls and vases depicting pairs and groups of lovers entangled in dirty yet passionate acts. Are the objects on the shelves meant to be sex toys or just peculiarly shaped abstract figurines?

When passing by what Lacai called the "Hall of His Majesty's Favorite Commissions", Santi covered your eyes occasionally. As far as you could tell, it appeared to be furnished with many differently styled depictions of Vesper's raunchy adventures with a plethora of his attractive playmates. You trust Santi's judgement that maybe some of them are too potent for the human eye.

Since the moment you set foot here, your grip on the dark incubus' hand has been iron-like, trying to siphon some of his calmness. Santi looks absolutely enamored with some of the design choices present, making you wonder if maybe he'll do some tweaking to your living space later.

" And we've arrived. " The imp, previously idly chatting with your lover, exclaims.

Two incredibly tall doors separate you three from whatever lies beyond. Infernal is engraved in them, statements you can't discern, stylized in a type of perfect, gentle cursive and accompanied by sculpted tendrils embracing the torsos of emerging demonoid figures sporting androgynous builds.

You can't help but get lost in the expressions of such visceral bliss captured in their faces. They appear to be molds, almost. Alive. Suffering the torments of eternal pleasures. Grotesque, beautiful. Maybe you really are Santi's match after all... Or maybe that's this sweet smell you've been drowning in for a while getting into your head.

" King Vesper will welcome you shortly, if you need anything, do scream my name. "

A wink, directed at both of you, and the head servant is gone, slinking back into the previous halls without a moment's notice.

Perhaps your gulp was a little too loud.

" Deep breaths, you know what's going to happen- " Santi pulls you into a big-titted hug, rubbing your goosebump-riddled skin. " No need to sweat about it. "

Much more easily said than done.

Chuckling and giggling is heard from the other end of the doors.

" There there, all set to rights, head on out honey. "

One of the massive doors parts forward, and a small hand struggles to find balance upon it. A grayish monster woman emerges, shaky, glazed eyes unaware of either of you. She tries to rearrange her fur and tuck loose tufts into her clumsily worn suit, but only succeeds in nearly wobbling to the floor. The stacks of paper and cases under her right arm tell you that this woman came here for some kind of diplomatic task, and probably didn't get much done...

Santi politely helps the lady step forward, unable to wipe away the only slightly mocking grin on his face.

" Do come again, I believe our business isn't quite complete! "

The same voice calls.

It's hard to describe it. Strong, potent, undeniably demanding of everyone's attention to a scary degree, but also loving, desperate, begging you to listen, to come closer. Velveteen reverence and the authority of someone who can take it away from you in the snap of a finger, a tempter, a lover, a challenger.

You don't need to think too hard to understand whose voice that is.

The poor woman mumbles some kind of exasperated farewell before she too disappears into the same halls Lacai had left through.

You recall a conversation about royal etiquette you had earlier with Santi. When the King of Lust accepts a request for a meeting, even if he's not being summoned, it's considered polite and common sense to also bring him something to eat. This meal could come in the form of a second person, or the requester themself. You suppose you know the choice the monster girl made.

" Next please! "

A shudder wracks its way down your body, but a firm warm hand on the small of your back prevents you from stepping back.

You're guided forward, into what appears to be a lavish lounge room, sharing the same inviting tonalities from before. Big couches and beds and tall mirrors with rails and steps spread across the room, even what you think is meant to be a pretty discreet altar in the middle, disguised as an artistic design choice. A neatly arranged table is set up next to a balcony, half obscured by darkened curtains. A great chaise lounge is clearly meant for your majesty, the other smaller two are meant for guests obviously.

The two of you stand politely at the entrance, waiting for acknowledgment, and the odor permeating this room is so intensely thick it feels like it's dripping into your skull, caressing every inch of you.

Alarmingly, your skin becomes feverish and you gasp for much needed air, feeling the peaks of your tits perk immediately, a rush of blood flying to your nethers. You feel the overwhelming urge to drop your already light clothes and throw yourself into one of the many soft cloths offered.

Santi too sniffs and rumbles at the atmosphere, no doubt incensed by the scent of what might have transpired only moments earlier. Although he's much more in control of himself than you, a gentle touch guiding you back into focusing on the present. You thumb at the bracelet he gave you, the one that presses into the inside of your wrist, dispensing a countering substance into the thin sheet of skin there.

Said substance is the only thing that's keeping you from crawling on the floor like a dog in heat.

A large, flowing tail swishes, and the two of you finally have the composure to glance right, met with the visage of King Vesper, naked as the day he was spat onto Hell, grabbing belongings from a fancy cabinet. When he turns around, your breath catches.

It's not entirely news to you. Santi described him to you, and Vesper has got to be the Icon of Hell who most desires to be seen by everyone, so you knew he was pink, voluptuous and fluffy in a few sections.

But seeing him in person is a whole other matter. It doesn't compare to any detailed descriptions.

Only Santi has managed to captivate you more intensely than the demonlord standing before you. It's... Well, if you had to try to put it into words, when you gaze into those big, predatory magenta eyes, it's like the shock of when you first glanced at Santi- But without the warmth in your chest.

No, this here is just warmth in your loins.

No soul in Heaven or Hell is stopping your eyes from dancing all over Vesper's body. From flowing tendrils to piercing pinks, heart-shaped nipples, golden chains, neatly-arranged fluff and thighs for days, a second mouth grinning at the two of you- There's so much to focus on, so much to ogle, that your sight nearly crosses for a moment.

He's a lot.

It's hard to steady your breathing.

Eventually, you notice those purpled claws are holding onto a spiral-shafted bottle and three miss wine glasses. You don't know what's inside the bottle, but it looks like a regular wine.

" Your Majesty- "

" Vesper, Santi. We've been over this. " The Icon frowns.

" Vesper. Long time no see. " Your incubus smiles, a slight wag of the tail behind him.

In contrast, the Icon's entire head tendril curls with happiness. " Oh say less! Much too long! And after this news, I would drag you here myself if you refused my invite. "

Santi nods with an expression that clearly shows he doesn't doubt the King one bit.

Suddenly, the ruler's gaze snaps to you, like a hawk spotting its lunch a mile away. He bends, much too close, invading, before grabbing smoothly onto your left hand. This close, you can smell the lush, almost floral scent coming from what must be that mane around his neck.

" And where have my manners fled- You must be this harlot's one and only match, the human I've so been aching to meet. " A thumb runs across your knuckles.

" Hhh- Hello- It's a pleasure, your majesty. "

Brilliant. Flawless. You definitely didn't choke up like a cat trying to cough up a hairball. Santi chuckles, introducing your name to the monarch, who licks his lips.

" You may recognize me as a King, but just as I said to Santi, tonight you know me not as a ruler, but a friend. A lover, even. " The last part swooned dreamily, planting facetious suggestions.

Then, he does something you should have seen coming. Should have remembered, actually, but even knowing what was about to transpire, no one could blame you for blanking.

Gleefully, the Icon reaches down across his own figure, hands drifting along his front to grope and paw at his fattened slit. It looks good enough to make you want to shove your whole face in there, and frankly that might be the intended effect. In mere practiced seconds, Vesper's cocks proudly slide out.

To say he's hung is an understatement, but he wouldn't be the King of Lust if he didn't sport a trial of willpower between his legs. Two of them, actually. Ringed and slick, with this restless tentacle poking and prodding between them, occasionally latching onto one of those lengths before switching to the other like its indecisive. You can appreciate the pigment of his cocks, which is a weird thing to say but true nonetheless. It makes you wonder how they'd look stained by the wetness of your puffed cunt.

More than gawk, you huff some kind of bewildered animal noise, hues flickering between the Lord's own and Santi's face. When Santi kneels, so do you, blinking as Vesper grows half-hard in a twitch or two.

The lump in your throat won't go down while you observe Santi lean forward and chastely kiss the tip of Vesper's right cock, before swirling his tongue around the head as best as he can and leaning back. He made that look like the most erotic thing you've ever seen, seemingly unbothered by the effect that view had on you when he expectantly beckons you to tend to the spare member.

Nowhere near as charming as a concubus, your small lips tremble when you close your eyes and lean in to imitate the act, cheeks aflame. This will be the first person you've put your lips upon after having started a relationship with Santi. You decide not to think too hard about it. A small peck is planted against Vesper's length, and the shudder that rocks your body afterwards has you exhaling hard through your nose. Although you glance at Santi for approval, he smiles and arches a brow as if to tell you that you're not quite done yet. The cock hovering in front of you flexes and you understand you're going to have to put some heart into it.

By the time you decide to try and swirl your small tongue around the King's tip, he's already beading in excitement, the view of a still somewhat timid human trying to appease him probably doing something for the demonlord.

It's messy. You have to turn your head and put more effort into it than Santi, ever practiced, did. Unfortunately, Vesper tastes almost as good as the other incubus next to you, so even if you're struggling, it's hard to let go. You could suck at him all day if it meant keeping that taste on your tongue.

Eventually, when you do pull away, a string of precum follows, snapping onto your chin and making you try to clean it away with your fingers. A bad idea, they're sticky now. Thankfully, Santi is there to lick them clean for you, winking to let you know you did a good job.

" I do so love making new acquaintances. " Vesper seems to ebb satisfaction. He doesn't bother with his exposed malehood and motions over to the chaise lounge area. " Please, both of you, sit. Talk with me. "

And you do. Of course you do. Your legs might eventually give out if you don't.

The King gracefully splays himself on his seat, uncorking the bottle with his index claw and placing the three differently sized glasses onto the table. You and Santi sit closely on one of the opposite chaises lounges.

" Can I get you lovebirds some temptation rouge? " He purrs, beginning to pour the drinks anyway.

Santi nods. " I'll have some. None for the lady, please. "

Vesper pauses his pouring, the alluring stream of purplish delight fading enough to allow you to focus.

He frowns. " Oh come now. "

The high-ranker doesn't budge. " Vesper, this isn't something humans should- "

" Mmm really? I recall you offering it quite generously. " The King taps idly at the shaft of the bottle, his tone petty.

The black-horned demon offers a look that begs Vesper not to push on the matter, which is apparently met with mercy.

" But I understand, you're in love, the world has a different hue. "

" Yes... You couldn't guess how distinct. "

Not quite deciphering the exchange the two fiends had, you choose to speak up when Vesper inches Santi's drink his way.

" I can have some. "

Santi shoots you a look. " No. No, that's silly- "

Santi's tense, sighing.

But a large paw has already been raised. " Hush! The lady has spoken, and who are we to deny her? "

" Surely, just one sip is alright. Besides, she's a virgin of Lust, let her enjoy some of my land's exquisite offerings. "

You watch the King pour half a glass for you. You're no virgin, how could you be with Santi by your side? Though saying that someone is a virgin in Lust generally means that it's their first time visiting the Ring.

You spot a muscle on Santi's arm twitch when you cautiously grab the miss wine cup. You know the contents within are likely a very potent aphrodisiac, perhaps a psychostimulant, something that'll make you trip balls essentially. After all, concubi don't drink or eat out of necessity, so this clearly has a use.

" Thank you. " Santi responds, a bit flatter.

Reclining on the seat, the Icon sips out of his glass, the mouth on his stomach licking its chops at the shared taste. A tail flicks, you note that he's been idly stimulated this entire time by the tendrils still squirming between his two dicks.

" So, tell me sweetheart, what do you think of my Ring so far? "

You hope he didn't catch you staring, but that face says it all.

" It's... " You have to think for a second, finding it difficult to articulate a plethora of mixed feelings.

" Freeing, in a strange kind of way. " You trace the rim of the glass. " It's still Hell, still scary, and I don't understand much of what I see out there... But I wish- " Your cheeks grow warmer. " I wish sometimes... That I could join. "

When you look back up, Vesper is grinning, this very amused glint in those magenta pools. " Mhmm, an honest response. I appreciate it. "

You smile politely in return.

Conversation unfurls easily afterwards as both demons partake of the rouge, their faces darken with time and they seem to sway the slightest amount, bodies restless. When you take your first sample of wine, the room is already thick with a scent you've grown to understand means hungry concubi are looming around.

Pungent. Thin but so sweet that it seeps into every pore in a wave of fruity warmth beckoning more and more of its sampler's attention. You'd have this for breakfast, for lunch and for dinner, quickly turning into some shameless alcoholic. It's of little surprise that all of Hell's confectionary is as addictive as it is to humans, that's how fiendkind tends to assert their power over other species. You suppose Lust, as the Ring of desire, has a particular ease creating concoctions of great addictive power.

Your idle reckoning is entirely derailed by the jolt of wetness from your loins, something you expected but couldn't calculate the intensity of, throat burning as you clumsily choke down the whore noise that wanted to flow forth. Maybe you drank too much at a time? How can those two have several glasses of this and look only mildly buzzed?!

Right on cue, Santi reaches to pluck the glass out of your hands. " Aaand that's enough for you. "

" Hah, oh the poor thing! You know that's properly aged, honey, try not to waste it. "

An embarrassing amount of time clearing your throat later, the King pipes up again.

" Ah, I've been meaning to ask, what is it like? " He waves a hand, his head tendril wraps around it fluidly, allowing the demonlord to toy with it.

" The sex? " Santi prods.

" No, the fighting- Of course I'm talking about the sex, you bumbling slut! "

The incubus straightens, eager to talk. " Oh, well- "

" Nuh-uh, quiet. " Vesper's tail nudges Santi into silence. " I know that part. Oh, sex with a perfect match is like pure ambrosia, it's the richest source of energy, a taste so delectable it fries you harder than the cocktail of an orgy of kissless virgins! You can never go back and you'll never have an experience half as pleasurable, it's the greatest gift a concubus can have but also the bane of their search for newer sensuous experiences because it causes obsessive infatuation- Etcetera etcetera... "

The Icon rises much faster than you'd guess his mass could ever allow him to, only to drop to a crawl, gaze piercing into you with an almost violating intensity. " No... " He murmurs sweetly, stopping to squat mere inches from your already overheated body, the chain anchored by his tits swaying hypnotically in front of you. " I want to hear it from you, darling. Regale me! "

Put on the spot like this, you don't actually know what about your perspective can be so appealing to the King, but his tone is authoritative, demanding. You must give an answer.

And so, you allow the hellish alcohol to speak for you, memory drawing upon the moments of your most intimate moments with Santi. The definition of his body, the noises he makes as he partakes of your form, the form you never gave much thought to yet the same one he reveres and coats in his drool. The whispers against your skin that you can never quite make out and the dance of claws on sensitive areas bordering between the sweetest caress and the plunge of a jealous lover.

" I- " You laugh breathlessly. " Well, I didn't know what sex was before I met Santi, real sex, real desire. There isn't a thing he does that I dislike, every time I lay with him, I only wish that it never ended, and I'm thankful he knows when to stop, because I might just tell him to keep going until I draw my last breath. "

You don't know where all of that came from.

The King's wolfish grin now turns shark-like, and he nods ever so fervently, egging you on. Santi has set his own glass down, blinking in bewilderment at your words, until a rumble bursts from his chest, and he seeks to hug you closer to himself.

" I know it sounds cheesy a- and dumb but I always want to try new things in bed with him because I've always felt so appreciated and- Santi makes me feel like I'll always look gorgeous no matter what I have on or what little accidents we have. I never knew sex could be so fun and feel so good... And I guess I only have him to thank for it. "

Santi doesn't say anything, just pulls you into a searing kiss full of tongue and approval. One you get lost in far too quickly, uncaring of your surroundings, or the demonlord ogling the two of you like steaks on a platter.

Maybe the King was looking for something a little more lewd and descriptive, but it seems the drink took you to a more emotional lane. Either way, what you said apparently resonates with the incubus in question, because he beams like a spotlight, eyes bright and smile so full of heated love it might just melt you.

It wasn't always like this. You remember the rocky start of this relationship. It could have turned into something ugly. It could have hurt you badly. Don't think about it.

" Oh- Oh, love does win! " Vesper dramatically rises, pretending to wipe a tear that isn't there. " So romantic, so heartfelt, I could just about write a whole drama from this alone. "

Eyes closed, getting a tongueful from your now overly-excited lover, you feel hands pawing at your body. His, you initially think, squirming playfully as they nudge your barely concealed breasts and squeeze at your tummy, palming at the swell of your ass possessively. Then, what you thought to be two hands become three, become different. It takes you a second of sloppily making out to finally open your eyes and check.

The Icon is now looming above you both, all glowing eyes and slobbering chops, cocks twitching for attention while he hastily reaches to place both hands on each of you. You're barely able to complain before your shorts are pushed aside with your thong and a large hand is palming at you insistently, met with the rush of wetness Santi's saliva has helped create. Speaking of, the high-ranker himself has already parted his legs to allow the King to tease his girth out of his slit, getting leisurely pumped. You watch each other get fondled for a moment, the shock fading into shameless acceptance and a burning need for more. Your cunt clenches around nothing.

" Mm, why'd you stop? Enjoy yourselves. "

The other grins, placing a finger under your chin and guiding you into another embrace. This one is slower, more measured, not just to savor the moment but to make a proper show for the sovereign of carnality. Santi works just well enough in tandem with the King's hand to draw out a wanton moan from you, eating it up with his own. Vesper apparently finds this very appealing, sighing his appreciation and rewarding the two of you with more attentive touches.

Your clit is flicked a certain way that forces your legs to jerk, and the situation is fixed when Santi readjusts to hold your leg slightly upwards, encouraging you to slide down a little. Just so, just so... Until Vesper has a finger in you, his index. Then two- His hands are large, larger than the average demon's, this is a stuffing on its own.

Whatever shred of composure you had left is gone, starting to keen and whimper as the demonlord immediately hammers onto the spot that usually has tears welling in your eyes. You don't know what kind of faces you're making, but they're probably not pretty in the wake of such intense stimulus. It feels as if your entire body is throbbing with sensation, the peak of it making your nethers pulse like an epicenter of delight.

Vaguely, you feel someone tug your top down so your tits can bounce free with every thrust upwards, turning to spot Santi rocking into the fist offered to him while he bites his lip to the debauched sight you make. You didn't think you'd be getting off to something like this, but seeing the desperation to use you in his eyes has you fuming in arousal, and likewise, he's loving your helplessly wanton exhibitionism.

" Ahh, she likes that. " The demonlord keenly observes. " Don't you, princess? Like the sight of your pretty incubus fucking my hand like a needy animal because he can't have you yet? Does it turn you on how lost he is in you? Do you think I should make him cum like this? You're both adorable, I'm loving this so much already! "

His depraved purring is the straw that breaks the camel's back, you can only roll your eyes and choke out some kind of plea for mercy before squeezing like a vise around Vesper's fingers and soaking him for all you've got, barely able to breathe in-between the thunderous pulsing of your orgasm. He rides you through it, nice and hard and milking the entirety of it for his own selfish gain, until you're spasming and gasping erratically.

Unfortunately, you missed Santi's own climax, finding him sagging against the seat in a state similar to yours, while the King whorishly sates himself with the mix of your released fluids, sucking and lapping at his hands for every hint of slick and humming pleasantly at the flavor you make together.

" Not bad... Not bad at all. Again, now, I can't wait to see your bond up close! "

You're a little bit confused when he plops himself back down on his massive lounge chair, then taps his thighs invitingly. Santi gets the idea however, tickling and nudging your clothes off you before settling on the monarch's lap.

Vesper hums, rearranging him so Santi's back is to his front, and then you are invited on. The resulting position has Vesper serving as a kind of living support with you seated atop Santi, giving the King a perfect view. Casually rumbling his glee, the King takes hold of your hips and steals any kind of autonomy from you by leading the pace, grinding you against the delectable ridges of Santi's hardness.

Laps are delivered to the side of Santi's face, and you know the mouth on the demonlord's stomach is also sampling around, tendrils closing in to shift between stimulating him and coiling luridly around your bodies like he just can't get enough.

One moment the two of you are locked in an desperate rut against the slow pace of regal hands, the next, you feel the sting of the demon's exquisite girth as you're swiftly impaled, the pain much too quickly blossoming into momentous relief.

It's a frenzy of movement you can hardly process. Maybe it's the effects of that drink, maybe it's just the cacophony of pheromones that being glued to a high-ranker and an Icon produces -You hardly doubt that bracelet is doing anything to protect your poor mind at this point- But you get well and truly lost in it. The world spins, only flashes of the experience register in your muddled brain, goosebumps, a swaying vision, waves of pleasure heightened to such a degree that you cease hearing anything but the muffled echoes of your lover's moans.

In that moment, there's nothing more to reality than the monster in front of you, looking as depraved as you, and leaning into it. Santi drools onto his own chest openly, pupils dilated, eyes relentlessly hypnotic as he swallows every twitch of your tormented form's muscles. No hint of higher thought lies in those acidic green hues, only the beastly impulse to have you, to reduce you to a spasming mess, to make you lose your mind and grow addicted to him.

Faintly, you can hear low whispers in a foreign, harsh tongue, and it never occurs to you that might be the source of your current trance. You don't know what it's doing to you or Santi, and you don't care.

You don't care about anything expect the constant pistoning driving you to a filthy paradise. If the Icon wasn't the one moving your legs, you'd be mush by now, point proven further when your top half simply flops onto the incubus' body, useless.

It must have been about an hour or more when the two of you are stopped, and no matter how gentle the winding down was, you still grunt and whine wordlessly in frustration, met with laughter from the two of them. Santi recovered faster, because of course he did. Looking down to where your bodies meet, you're disgraced with the sight of a sticky mess coating not just your mons and thighs, but plenty of Santi's lower half. It doesn't even reek of sex, you've gone nose blind at this point. It's almost terrifying, you have no idea how many times you orgasmed, or how many times he did for that matter, but the overwhelming evidence is clearly there, and your throat is quite sore. Whether from gasping, screaming or simply breathing through it, you don't know anymore.

Vesper says something to your partner in clear infernal, met with a reply you cannot hope to interpret either, and you're pulled forward to kiss the King, the three of you exchanging lips in a disheveled mess.

By the time you start giggling and breathing hard, Santi sighs.

" We... We should stop for now, no? " There's a mildly guilty look on his handsome features. Probably because you're going to be feeling this for a week.

The demonlord huffs. " Ugh- Fine fine, but only because you two were such a show, the imps flocked to the doors you know? I can feel them peeping. "

The darker demonoid snickers in amusement, reaching out to pet your face and try to ground you in reality, to no avail. You're eventually lifted to a stand, latching onto his arm for support and starting to somewhat ferally bite him in adoration.

Vesper follows suit, look too predatory to mean anything good, and both hands coiled around vastly neglected lengths. Making quick work of himself to the filthy view you and Santi make. He's the one who gulps now.

" I have been very patient however, the least my adorable guests could do is give me a lasting farewell. "

Santi looks like he's about to try to politely renegotiate.

" Pretty please? "

You clap and cackle in enthusiasm, entirely out of your gourd. More, more!

The incubus watches you jump in place, then turns to his old friend. " You have spare regeneration ointments, don't you? "

[simpingforbots]

Hello I was wondering if I could have human reader and TFone elita one in it the human lands on cybertron gets found by elita one and lives at her place and shows the struggles of them liveing on cybertron and them growing in their relationship with elita one soon after having a hard time sleeping elita ask them if they want to sleep in her bed and cuddle

Thank you I hope this wasn’t a lot

Hello. Sure can do my best. I am thinking of putting this meeting this time in future, after Sentinel became a twix, but before war. In more peaceful times. might even take few chapter so head up.

Little Alien - part 1

You were no one special and you knew it. Unlike every one else on this ship you did not go to some expensive college, or was a genius gifted kid who managed to ace every thing, or just well adducted person who did their best to earn their spot here. You were just a normal, run of the mill, human being, who happen to win this stupid lottery and decided to take a bite. The months of grilling training for the launch off, space and it’s zero gravity and how to act was enough to make you second guess, yet you still decided to stay. How many people can tell their future generation that they were in actual space, joining egg heads for some kind of experiment. What you did not know that you were also an unfortunate sap to become their lab monkey, after all they need someone to do something

You just stared at the new planet as it slowly passed in to the illuminator, able to see light illuminating from it, fascinated that something like this exsist. All it took is to travel though some kind of worm hole while you were frozen, now about to land on this new world. The leader of this operation asked every one to come to the detachable shuttle, and get ready for descend. Smiling, you pushed your self though zero gravity, enjoying the feeling of being free, collecting your suit and camera on the way as your only job here. Floating in to the shuttle you greeted other people on it, smiling and doing your best to stay out of their way as they got every thing ready, dragging in boxes and other expensive equipment. They been good to you so far, and you relay did not wanted to piss them off. Taking your right full seat at the far back, away from controls and important leavers, you stared outside and watched as shuttle detached it self, slowly moving away from the main ship, able to see other scientists watch you and the team go down to the planet. The ride was not without hiccups as this planet was a new environment and who knew what was on it, especialy of it looked like it was made from metal. You felt the entire ship shake as they slowly descended, landing on the stable ground and after some time you finally were allowed to get out, following others as they all got out, carrying boxes and other science equipment.

“Holly Shit” your eyes grew wide as your eyes scanned alien terrane. The alien sun was just going up, basking the entire world in wonderful colours and constantly shifting mountains added to the majestic atmosphere to this new world. Hell, you sure you can fell quite buzz of something coming from below heavily padded boots of the suit. “DO you think there is air here?”

“So far reading says there is traces of oxygen on this planet, so I presume so” one of the scientist reply, piking up a small rock for the sample “Should be safe for us, but for safety reasons it best to keep the helmet on”

“okay...” you stayed quite, continue watching new mountains grow from the gorund while other collapsed. Pulling your camera out, yes it was on old one, that was printing photos, you still liked t, you started taking pictures, letting the small machine whirr as it printed, giving you a memorabilia of such strange and wonderful world.... “Hey guys, do you need me to take some other photos... for the science?”

“Actually it will be nice” you grinned as you continued taking picture, staying ou of the way of those who knew what to do.

It seems like you’ve been here for hours and standing in one place, taking the picture at the same spot soon bored you and you wondered out a bit further in, not to far as to still be in radio frequency range, taking photos of every thing that seemd out of sight. Like the small tongues of grass poking though the harsh metallic surface and seeming to thrive in this harsh environment, right next to flowing blue liquid that glowed brightly. Walking over to it, you huffed a bit thanks to the heavy weight of the suit, lifting your camera and ticking a picture of the river as close as you could, even able to see it “flow” in picture. Maybe you should tell your “friends” about what you found, kneeling down a bit and reached over, moments away from touching it before quickly puling your hand away. Right, no, you are human, you poke things with sticks just like God intended. Turning around, you spotted a small “stick” or something that looked like it, wrapping your gloved hand around and plunging it in t the river, obtaining a sample. A sound from the other side of the river quickly alerted you, making you jump and stare on shock at what you wee seeing.

A deer – or something that look like a deer, giant and made out of metal, reminding you about the obstruct sculpture you’ve seen one time back on Earth, herd of them, leisurely walking over to the river, ignoring your presence and bowing to take a sip of the strange liquid floating by, one by one, stretching in to line, with few staying on guard, the round lights on their head instead of normal horns glowing purple, their head high up and staring around. Your eyes were glued to them, to much in awe to even say anything but slowly breathing in, time to time eyes darting from one creature to another. You were scared that if you move to fast you’ll scare them, if you make any noise, like calling to your group, they will run away, so moving slowly and carefully, you lifted your camera again, turning the flashlight of. Slow as a snail, you raised it, closing one eyes and looking through lens at the creature, who were still enjoying liquid, ignoring your presence completely, allowing you to take as many photos as you want. Finally one of them noticed you, the light shifting for just a second to red, before going purple again, the head slightly tilting to the side, it’s small eyes shifting rapidly, waiting for any action from you. And so did you, watching them in return, ready to run in case those huge metal beast decides you were danger. Finally it decided to see what you was about, jumping over the narrow for him river, making you jump and take few steps back, freezing a bit as it walked over, graceful as one would be on earth, heavy body making idle mechanic noises as it slowly walked over, head low and lights blue, closing the distance. You carefully lifted your hands up and try not to look threatening to something metal and big, just letting it inspect you, and it seemd like the thing approved of you, the head bumping in to your side lightly, yet still making you stumble, rubbing a bit and light turning green with a ding, letting human let a heavy sigh of relief, lifting hands toward the head and letting it slide up and down the metal segmented head, able to feel quite buzz and warmth even beneath gloves.

“Wow, you are beautiful!” you whispered, smiled creeping up not your face, the mask fogging up a bit with your breath speeding up, able to feel your heart pounding in the chest. “just what are you? Hehe” you let a chuckle, bracing your self as the rest of the flock came over to “inspect” new creature, head budding you as well and soon enough the entire heard was playfully bumping heads to get their own share of head pats, making you savour the moment that you were the first to interact with alien life, even if it was wild one, it still was amazing, so in the moment that you were unable to feel that the distant faint rumble grew nearer, and when it become a small tremor that it seemed to finally alert the deer, their heads shooting up, scaring you a bit, with their rings turning red and quickly scramble away, forcing you to curl up and cover your head from them running over you, almost trembling you to death with their huge heavy metal hoofs and weight. When they ran away, you got up, confused just what was going on, turning your head to horizon and watching carefully, seeing something that was not right.

Mountains, they were growing closer, shifting quicker and quicker toward your and your team direction, but could it be just your imagination. Confused you reached for the tablet on your hand, taping it to activate your radio, calling out to the team, asking if every thing was okay, only to get static. The mountains grew nearer and tremors grew harder, finally sending you in to panic mode, turning around and running back to the ship, stumbling with every shake and heart pounding. Why did you wonder so far?! You kept running, panting and screaming for the team, eyes pilled on horizon and seeing your team finally react to earthquake, gathering expensive equipment on to the ship in a hurry, constantly looking back. Why were they looking back, what was going on. Regretfully you turned your head, stumbling over your feet, catching just in time as to not fall, eyes growing so wide you could feel them almost pop out of the scull – the constantly shifting mountain were rapidly moving towards you, sending violent earthquakes along, and the sight alone pumped more adrenalin in to human’s blood stream, the chain of exhaustion quickly falling of, screaming louder, turning your head and speed up as much as you could in the heavy suite, waving your hands at last person jumping in.

“Wait! Wait! FUCK!!!” You yelled loud enough to even burst your own ear drums, tears forming as you watch human look in between inside the ship and you, diving in and the ship slowly rising up, the engines roaring no lounder then the grumble of the ground, slowly kicking in and flying away, leaving you behind to your doom. You screamed in anger, fear and pity for your self as the shifting mounted quickly caught up, tossing you around like some kind of tennis ball. You felt every bump and toss, sharp edges digging in to you and you fell on your head to hard, knocking you out.

Ever since Orion become a prime every thing seemed to change for the best. No bot had to slave away in mines as energon flowed through city and it was plenty then enough for every one, the only reason mines were still were open was for minerals and safety was at all time high with Elita-one on control. And she was quite proud of it, after all she did spend most of her life reaching for high position, and now she was right hand of Optimus Prime, with a lot of paperwork and responsibilities, along with all the stress. Hunched over another stack of data-pads, it took every thing not to throw it at poor sap who came in, bringing more documents and thankfully some energon to help her power though this entire mess even if the energon crisis was over, there were other troubles that needed to be taken care of. Like sudden influx of young bots, waste and a clear as day divide between those who could live in comfort and those who could not, something even Prime did not approve much, seeing as every one were equal. Letting bot place data-pads and energon in front of her, she waved them off, leaning back in chair with a grunt.  Besides those problames there were still Quintessons, who are now no longer provided with energon by Sentinel and Megaron with high gurds, now knowns as decepticons, constantly causing trouble and even starting roomers about false Prime.

She needs a break. Getting up, Elita headed out, passing by B-127, who was happily talking some ones audio off, a smile creeping on her faceplate to see him so free after hearing where he was, finally enjoying a proper life that was intended. Heading out, Elita headed up to the surface, wanitng to enjoy the scenary just for a bit, reminiscing about past adventure, driving through landscape when something caught her opticks. On horizon something appeared, descending quickly and carefully, to small to be one of Quintessons ships. Reeving up the engine, fem-bot speed up toward the landing, even if it was far away, praying to primes it was nothing to worry about, still being carful of shifting terrain. By the time she reached the spot she calculated was landing site for the small ship it wad to late for who ever landed. One of many shifting mountains made it’s way toward the ship and crushing something small in the way while the ship left, just in time to avoid collision with the shifting mass of metal, leaving one of presumed passengers behind to their fate, getting tossed around mountain like some kind of ball before going limp along woth moving maintain stopping. Knowing first hand how ruff it can get, Elita rushed over, something inside her gripping her spark as this small thing looked to close to a sparkling and getting tossed like this surely did not end well. Transforming mid way, Elita closed the distance, slowing down and carefully walking over to limp body laying on one of spikes, unmoving or showing signs of life.

This small thing did look like sparkling from a far, but up close it looked more creepy. It was small, in white covering with no distinguished segment, as if the metal was fused all in one moving part, it did had hands with five small digits, curled a bit, creepy. Shaking of the strange feeling, Elita approached it closer, kneeling down and letting her self inspect it, head tilting side to side while optic scanned the strange life form. It did not look like any Quintessons she’ve ever seen, in fact those bug creature were big and this paled in compression, hell it’ll easily fit in her servo alone. Slowly reching out, she poked it, body swaying before going still again, but just for a second she could feel warmth. Could this thing still be alive? Poking it again just to make sure it won’t suddenly attack or anything else, even if the size difference was big, she wrapped her servo, lifting it, round strange head with big reflective visor swaying a bit, limbs hanging down, big bot could feel it moving, middle torso expanding and slowly deflating over and over, like some kind of constant force, an engine that can not stop even when one is unconscious. Seeing her own reflection in the strange head, Elita use one of the digits to prop up the round head to make sure it was looking at her. It felt so week and fragile, just what is it? Squinting a bit, Elita could see something under the strange visor, could this strange reflective thign move, slide up perhaps. Slowly, using the other servo, she tapped the head, it making a hallow thunk noise, still not reacting and the strange reflective surface moving just a bit, confirming that it can be moved. Using the same digit, she slid it up, opticks growing wide and head tilting back a bit with shock.

This thing had a face, just like any other cybertronian, just on strange colour and weird things on it, yet the expression seemed peaceful as if they were simply recharging. Bringing them closer, Elita squinted, tapping on the strange helmet to see what else was inside, angling it along the way. Nothing that she can see from here. Looking up, she had to wonder if this one was left behind as to let other escape the shifting mass or they were unlucky enough as to not get on the ship when disaster stuck, what ever it was, she can no leave it here, no matter how much she wanted. Letting a heavy exhausted sight, fem bot stood up, leaning on the mass and turned, heading back to the Iacon, already getting a headache just from thinking what will happened when she brings this strange creature there, especialy Bee with all his questions.

--

Why is every thign hurts? Letting a grunt out, you tried opening your eyes, immideatly getting assaulted by light, forcing you to squint and raise your hand to shield eyes from such suden brightness. Where were you? Not on the ship that was for sure as there was no ideal chatter of tv captain put on as to not let the crew go crazy due to all the silence outside the ship. Who wouldn’t if you had to spend months floating in vacuum of space with no constant noise that ususaly surrounded you on Earth – all the nature sounds and human life, a constant, even if not noticeable, noise. Slowly getting up, you can feel fresh bruises painfully sting all over you, a sigh of relieve escapes you, seeing that you managed to get out of what ever the fuck was happening alive, with only cracked visor, quickly putting panic in to your head. Even if there was air that in theory was breathable, it was still not the best. Taking a few deep breath you did not notise anything bad happening, no dizziness, or sharp pain in chest, meaning it was alright. Good. Hold on, where are you?

Finally snapping back in to reality, your eyes grew wide while you looked around, head snapping from one side to another. You were in the hugest room you could even imagine, bigger then the room you visited back in the day during the “tour” where guide explained what was going on and what you singed up for, showing of the top of the notch technology. No, this was bigger, much-much bigger and it seamed like you were on something huge that extended a bit further and dropped quickly, getting up, you walk, spinning around, eyes wide and instinctively reaching for the camera, bumping in to something. You bumped in to the glass... what? Putting your hand on it, you followed the slightly noticeable surface, trailing it above and behind you, horror slowly sipping in. Dome, where ever you were placed in to the glass dome like some kind of spider caught in a glass, you are not a bug! Panicking, tried to get under it, the gloves are to thick to do the job, and even if they could, you doubt you can lift something so big and heavy. So banging it is. Drumming your fist on the surface, you yell

“HEY! Let me out! Let me out!!!” you shouted on top of your lungs, bot fist hammering on the surface, hell even kicking, trying to get attention of what ever it is caught you. Do you really want to? No, but you have to get out and try to call “home” to get the hell of this planet and tell every one to not come back. “HEY!!!”

Something seemd to hear you and a heavy, like very heavy footsteps echoed though the entire place, you freezing and staring at what clearly was door frame, eyes glued and heart pounding, expecting something to pop in all while your brain started processing every thign at once. You were in a huge dome, in a hugest room big enough to fit in 10 of the ships you travelled through space, you saw huge deer made out of metal, so what can be stomping so loudly through the hallway. As realisation quickly hit you like a frag train, sweat pooling on your back you quickly stopped banging and just stared quietly at the doorframe. It did not take to long for the source of the stomping to slowly peer in, metal fingers wrapping around the edge of doorframe, and a huge metal head with strange helm popped in. Of God, it had a face and it’s huge blue glowing eyes staring at you like a child staring at the new thing they just found. Both of you just stared at each other, wide eyed, shocked and confused, you honestly were about to faint as the vision got blurry and starts blinking in to appearance. It seemd like the big yellow things will make the first move.

The face light up with smile, it’s mouth moving as it spoke garbled words that sounded like someone put on blender and drill, quickly walking in to the room and closing the distance between your prison and it, huge hands reaching for the dome. You let a yelp when cage left the gorund, you sliding back and trying not to fall on your ass, heart pounding and now completely terrified. Of course this planet will have giant metal people, though huge bot did not seemd to concerned that you were terrified out of your wits, rotating the cage and you at the same time, examining you with the most puppy like eyes you really did not expect bot to have, it’s mouth in a wide smile. How can he talk so much, is he expecting you to understand him just because he speaks non stop.... oh god is that how animals feel when they first get adopted.

When Elita brought the strange creature back with her, every one seemd to be shocked by it and freaked out, mostly confused and wierded out how something alien can look so like them, even in a weird way they ad two peds, two servos, a head hidden behind round helmet, all keeping their distance, and not only bacouse it was a strange thing, but because Elita held it and no one want smoke with here, she carried her little finding in to her office, placing it in a small glass cage so that it won’t run away when it wakes up and she is not there. Grunting, big bot leaned on table, scaning the small thign over again. It seemd to be damaged while being tossed around like some kind of ball, but not leaking anything, meaning that the thing it was “made out of” was only an outer shell, like Quintessons had the first layer, hiding beneath a strange fleshy thig, could it be the same case. So does it mean this thing is a Quintessons, like hatchling of theirs? Hardly, they should look somewhat similar, like a smaller version of them and ugly. Letting a heavy sigh, she tapped on the glass, keeping her worries to her self as another request for meeting came though, taking her to the other side of this huge building, passing by B-127.

B-127 knew that Elita brought something that caught every one of guard and he wanted it to see, yet the tall fem pushed him aside, saying that it was not the time for that, making him a bit grumpy. Is she saying he can’t control him self around something so small, but he can and he will prove it, and it did not take long for big fem-bot to be called for another boring meeting that he can sneak in to her office, quickly running though the corridor. And just as he was getting closer he heard the weirdest sound ever – it sounded like chirping and soft singing in some new tones, getting his attention at full strength. Tip toing now, as to not scare it, Bee poked his head out of the hallway, staring at the small dome with the thing, it awake and active, and looking at him.

“OH WOW! You are cute! What are you? You are relay weird little thing, are you?” chittering B-127 quickly closed the distance and “gently” grabbed the dome, little thigns sliding to the back of the cage, still staring at him “IS this your opticks? Why are they not glowing? How are you small? Are you a sparkling? You are so cute! I am gonna call you Steve Two” he spun the cage, trying his best to get a better look at the little thing locked away and how to get you out the cage, jolting you around at the same time. It seemd like Elita knew he would come and locked it up tightly, taking the key with her, but no trouble he will just

“What are you doing?”

“AH” tossing the dome out of panic, B-127 scrambled to catch it, digits slipping while it was in air and the cage shuttering on impact, letting a yelp and covering his mouth. He did not mean for that to happen “B-127!!!”

“I did not mean to kill it!” Bee spun around, hands in air as angry Elita stormed in t the room, eyes on him and steam escaping with angry hiss “I just wanted to see them”

You yelled as the cage got tossed and big golden bot scrambling to catch you, like a child trying to catch tossed ball, but to your horror he did not and you plummeted down, glass shattering on impact and you hitting the gorund. You must be very lucky though as all you came out with was a few cuts, somehow surviving the fall, but it still hurt and knocked air out of lungs. Coughing your lungs out, trying to breath in, your ears rung like crazy, as if you were by explosion, roiling on stomach. You can not rest now, even if you wanted, you need to run, scrambling to your feet you ran, or tried to, stumbling and falling again and again, basicaly crawling under the huge table, hiding from the sight yet still able to see thing. The huge golden bot was clearly getting scolded by a big alien robot, who most likely was his mom or something like this, huge arms on hips and staring at young bot, chattering in strange robotic language and yellow one looking down, quite. Okay, good, you got kidnapped by baby bot and now the little one tries to convince the parent to keep you. Pink one even was letting steam out of the body, upset that yellow one broke the cage and bend down, piking up a few shard, scaning all over the place, clearly lookig for the lost specimen – you.

“Oh hell nah” you whispered, gripping in the table leg and darting behind, barely avoididng being seen. “Oh fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck” looking around for something to hide in that is to narrow for huge hands, you managed to spot a small crevasse in between wall, far away and risky if you do it now, yet the huge pink robot was closing on to your location, so you waited your options and darted out of the hiding, legs burning already but you pushed your self, laser focused on crevasse, ignoring a metallic noise, heavy footsteps an just in time managed to throw your self in to crack as huge metal fingers clasped around the empty space where you once were. Purely out of adrenaline, you pushed your self deeper, wedging in between walks and stared back out of the hole. The pink one was kneeling and starring at you with the most angry stare there was, light blue rings in dark blue ocean of light shifting almost every second. It grumbled what you can gues was disappointment that something small like you manged to get away, moving away and shoving metal hand in, fingers wriggling around, inches away from you, and there was no more space to shove your self away from, the tank already stuck and you are not getting out of suit, not because it was dangerous, but because you will get captured the second you will climb out of this bulky suit. The fingers went back, face returns, angry grumble, and again it is trying to reach for you.

What did you get your self in to?

[cartoonistcoop]

ShortBox Comics Member Interview: Otava Heikkilä

Throughout the month of October, the Cartoonist Cooperative will be sharing interviews with members of the Co-op who have a new comic available at the ShortBox Comics Fair 2024! 

NOTE: The Cartoonist Cooperative is not affiliated, associated, authorized, endorsed by, or in any way formally connected with ShortBox.  

Today’s spotlight is Otava Heikkilä and their new comic for ShortBox, Home by the Rotting Sea 

We’d love it if you could introduce yourself and tell us about your background in comics.

Otava Heikkilä: Hey, I’m Otava, a thirty-something comic artist from Finland whose work focuses on narrative, usually historically inspired, usually dark fiction, for queer adults. I’ve been self-publishing comics online since 2010, and my works have been published by indie publishers like Iron Circus Comics and Quindrie Press from 2016 onwards. My piece for ShortBox Comics Fair 2024 will be my 14th comic to see a release. I don’t really know why I make comics, but it’s the primary driving compulsion I have in life. Sad, or awesome, or both!

Tell us more about your new comic?

OH: Home by the Rotting Sea is about two former playthings from the Human King’s harem. This world has ended after a climate event, and the ice caps have melted, and everything that’s left is this hot, rotting world without trees. The usual things still thrive there: Kings with big enough armies to confiscate land for themselves. But after the ice caps melted, humans have gotten in contact with another humanoid species who used to live behind the glaciers: the Väki, who the humans call giants, because they’re bigger than us. The territories are under dispute, and to smooth over the latest injury, the Human King sends those two former playthings, Ilta and Laulu, and a cart full of jewelry and furs, to the Väki as an appeasement. The comic itself starts here, and we see Ilta and Laulu learning to live among the Väki. It’s an existential slice of life.

Tell us about your creative process; how did you develop this comic and what are the steps you took to bring it to the final stage?

OH: While developing a new comic, I usually have a few interests that compel me, and a few more that bother me, and I end up alchemizing those together. In recent years I’ve been interested in prehistory and the other humanoid species that lived alongside us in the past. Everybody wants to make a story about how we might’ve felt about the Neanderthals, and I think I’d like to make it too. This is kind of a go at that story, but I wanted to make it fictional and unrelated to our real world relatives. Chasing historical accuracy with a story about prehistory is inherently kind of an impossible, funny thing anyway, and I’ve understood I’m not well-read enough for it (If you are, and would like me to illustrate it for you, hit me up).

So the speculative anthropology was the compelling part. The bothering part was/is the genocide in Palestine that broke into a hell on earth while I was developing the comic. I want to make it clear that my comic doesn’t matter in any meaningful way under this terrible light, but the events are inside all of us and making us sick; my comic is about the death of a people and a land because somebody at the top can’t stop eating the world until there’s nothing left. It’s impossible to make it and have it be unaffected by what’s happening. This was the hardest story to make for me because I’ve bagged so much grief inside it, and hope too.

I’ve also been through chronic pain this year, and I made a lot of the backgrounds of the comic with my left hand, which is in somewhat less pain than my right one. It’s kind of stupid to suffer for pictures, and I will try not to do it going forward, but probably I will.

Does a sense of audience, even if it’s just an audience of one, enter into your creative process? If yes, how so?

OH: Yeah, of course. It’s the need to make a connection to somebody and to feel and see the same thing with brief but great precision. It’s a kind of truth-sharing, because I find it hard to share my real self in my personal life. Or maybe those two things aren’t connected, I don’t know. I’m always thinking about the individual on the other side.

Can you talk about your visual style? How did you develop it?

OH: I think art comes to me easily and because of that I’m lazy about it. I don’t use as much reference as I should, and there’s a general ground floor chaos to everything; my work is worse for it. I’ve tried to tighten the ship and learn better fundamentals as I’ve gotten older, and the result is, I guess, interesting. I do big compositional color blocks first, then lines and detail. I went to art school for my Bachelor’s degree and retained nothing from there except a general superiority complex about having an art degree and some painting fundamentals, which make my workflow slower than it should be for digital comics. Sense of dimensions and scale, color, and clarity of the reading experience are important to me.

Read the rest of the interview HERE! And dont forget to check out the Shortbox Comics Fair to support these lovely creators!!

[interstellarlyinlove]

Folklore (October 5th)

word count: 819

@wolfstarmicrofic

“This is so unlike her!” Harry says, rubbing his eyes. His hair is a mess and he looks incredibly stressed. Harry, Sirius, and Remus are sitting around the Potters’ kitchen table.  

“That is the joy of being fifteen, isn’t it?” Sirius asks. “Trying to figure out who you are and being unbelievably stupid in the process?”

“I don’t remember that part really well.”

“We do,” Remus says, grinning. Sirius grins as well. “I remember you being fifteen and stupid so well.”

“Not reporting a scum teacher or even just telling us about it, for example,” Sirius says. “While Remus worked at the very same school. What were you thinking, babe?”

“Creating an army as an after school club.”

“Let’s not even get into the ‘everyone hates me and I hate everyone’ winter phase because that was–”

“Okay, okay,” Harry says, thumping his head on the table. “I get it,” he mumbles. 

Remus looks at Sirius and laughs. He clears his throat. “This isn’t such a big deal, Harry, love. You’re a good dad. And Lily’s a lovely kid.”

Harry groans. “Well, she doesn’t like me all that much right now. She’s grounded.”

Sirius whistles. “You had the heart to ground Lily?”

“You horrendous human being,” Remus comments. 

Harry’s head hits the kitchen table once again. “I feel horrible about it, but she did run away from Hogwarts.” His voice is muffled. He raises his head. “Do you think I’m being too harsh with her?”

Remus just smiles. Sirius says, “Oh, yes. You’re horrible. How could you–”

“We’ll go talk to her, okay?” Remus says, cutting Sirius off. 

“Please,” Harry says. “Thank you guys. Love you.”

“Boohoo, Harry.” 

“Do they tell you everything?” Lily Luna says when she opens her bedroom door. 

Sirius flicks her forehead. “Hello to you too, Lily, love.” He enters her room, Remus closely behind. 

“Hi, Remus,” Lily says. She slams the door behind them. 

“Ouch. What did the poor door do to you?”

“Remus gets a ‘hi’ and I don’t? I see how it is, Flora.”

Lily sighs, all melodramatic and angsty, and sits on top of her desk. Sirius sits on the edge of the bed and Remus on the desk chair. 

“I know what I did was irresponsible and I won’t do it again, okay?” Lily talks as she does something on her computer.

“And you sound so sincere,” Sirius says. 

Lily rolls her eyes. She looks at Remus then at Sirius. “I missed you guys. Do you want to listen to music with me?”

Sirius smiles despite himself. “Awe, Lavender, love, we’ve missed you too.”

“What are you listening to?” Remus asks.

“Sad music, mostly” Lily says, grinning. “I’m sulking.”

“You’re sulking?” Sirius asks. “You ran away from Hogwarts and skipped classes and got a tattoo. Poor Harry’s having an existential crisis. He should be sulking.”

“I didn’t get a tattoo,” Lily says. 

“I know.” Sirius winks. “I just wanted to make you sound cooler than you actually are, Daisy.”

Lily sighs. “I just walked around muggle London for a little while. Had coffee. And also, there was this fairy circle in someone’s front porch that I just had to sit in.” Lily pauses. “Even though now I remember Trelawney telling us not to do that when we were going over different Folklore stories. What do you think happens to people who sit in fairy circles?”

 “I guess you’ll find out, won’t you?” Remus says lightly. “And we’re not saying that the things you did after sneaking out were wrong. Though the trespassing and angering fairies is a little questionable I think. We’re more worried about the sneaking out part itself.”

“Your dad went nuts. Ginny nearly brought Hogwarts to the ground looking for you.”

“We were worried, too,” Remus says. “We didn’t know if you just ran off or if something had happened to you.”

Lily bites her lips and looks down. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to– I mean, I didn’t think it would be a big deal. I just wanted to get away for a little while.”

“And that’s okay, Jasmine, babe,” Sirius says. “Hell, just floo to our house next time. Or at least tell someone where you’re going. Albus or James or whoever.”

“So we know that you’re safe,” Remus adds. “Also– so that Harry doesn’t go gray so soon.”

“He’s already going gray,” Lily mumbles. 

Sirius chuckles. “I can’t argue with you there, Hydrangea.”

“That’s not even a name,” Lily says. “And– I am sorry. I’ll talk to dad before I go back to Hogwarts tonight.”

Remus looks at Sirius then at Lily, and he smiles. “Thank you, Flower.”

“Oh, Merlin, not you too, Remus.”

Sirius laughs. “Go talk to your dad now, Marigold.”

“Will you take me to get a tattoo when I decide that I want one?” Lily asks as she gets off the desk.

“We’ll think about it, Dahlia. Now go away.”

[murainhell]

You know? I really want to know more about Lilith, because I find her a very interesting character and I feel like the fandom is being a bit mean to her.

Most of what we know about her is what Charlie tells us in the little story, and as her daughter I'm going to assume that the story is embellished. But even if the details are not precise, there are some facts that make me think a lot about the timeline of events with Lilith and Lucifer.

I mean, it seems like Lucifer's heartbreak with humanity started pretty early on, and I guess that quickly led to depression (the spanish dub uses "he lost his will to LIVE"). It's something that has been there for most of his time in Hell.

In the meantime, Lilith thrived and is ‘to blame’ for Hell taking its shape and sinners gaining power. She inspired everyone to build and achieve new things.

That's two very opposite positions, and I honestly won't hold it against Lilith for being disappointed with Lucifer; she wanted to do the best she could with the limited opportunities they had, and her own partner was apathetic and wanted nothing to do with the other humans in their realm. Living with a depressed person, especially one who is telling you that your dreams or ideas aren't going to work, is complicated, and we don't know how long they stayed that way.

Isolating him is not the answer, especially when it deprives Lucifer of seeing his own daughter, but I can understand that Lilith thought she was doing the best for Charlie and they could resume the relationship later if he tried (when Lilith disappears it is Charlie who has to reach out to him).

From the way Charlie presents the events, the exterminations are a direct response to Lilith and her actions. A massacre that Lucifer accepts. At this point I imagine Charlie was born, as his main concern is to ensure that those born in Hell cannot be touched by angels. Charlie is safe.

The thing is. The hellborn are safe. You know who isn't? Lilith.

Were Lilith and Lucifer together by then? Maybe not and that's why he didn't care about her. Maybe yes and this resolution to the overpopulation problem (really, extermination of hypothetical armies) was the last straw.

Why is she in Heaven? What was her deal with Adam? Why do I keep thinking of Adam as the typical guy who sees his ex and tries to win her back or get some favours or some stupid shit like that instead of ignoring her?

Look, we don't have any information, but what if Lilith was cornered years ago and Adam took the opportunity to ‘kidnap’ her. What if Lilith is a prisoner? Because come on, Heaven sure is the place where your prison will be a beautiful beach. Why wouldn't she contact her own daughter, who is so proud of keeping her mother's dream alive?* Maybe they won't let her communicate with anyone. Until now, since Lute is demanding her to talk to Charlie to stop her plan.

* What dream, because it could be that Charlie heard her mother looking for a solution to the exterminations, although perhaps she misunderstood how Lilith wanted to handle it. The hotel seems to be Charlie's thing.

I don't know, I just see so many people think she's super evil, that she abandoned everyone, that she hates Lucifer and wants to destroy everything. And, I mean, maybe! Hope she'll have fun while doing it! But there's also that other option that she's surviving as best she can in a dificult position and we'll see what happens in S2.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 22 thoughts

this episode was SO good. it was funny, it was heartfelt, and it was entertaining. but- and i'm sure you fans who have seen the show before know- something happened that is making me cry.

yes, actual tears! boy, there must be some real serious astrology stuff going on in the world, for actual tears are down my cheeks, something that almost never happens to me in movie and film watching experiences, and this episode did it to me. i usually just get a bit misty and that's the extent of it- even in one breath! but man. apparently i have a weakness.

sigh. we shall get into it, like we do.

reading the episode description: it's loch ness monster-like creature time!! i’ve been eyeballing this episode for a while, it sounds really interesting. a lake trip!! a trip to the lake!! 

we begin, and it is frog time!!! time for a frog!!! an endangered frog!!! dr. farraday is fighting for their rights. oh, he just used the term “frog holocaust” in his talk to this dr. bailey fellow, which is something. serious frog beef going down between these professors, for dr. bailey does not think that dr. farraday's research proves that humans are responsible for the fate of the frogs! how infuriating.

dr. bailey is going back to his car but lost “his beeper” so he’s looking by the lake for it. OH! his beeper meant a pager. i know what a pager is!!!! do not think i am uneducated!!! just never heard it called as such.

he finds the beeper but he is EATEN. by a BEAST!!! while a frog watches. 

if only this was the fate that all people who deny the need to protect the environment met! eaten by a lake beast! how much more just this planet would be...

intro time. and the first time i watched an episode and i heard the theme i started laughing hysterically because i didn’t realize that noise was the x files theme; i had just thought it was a well-known spooky noise used in vines and stuff and then. everything clicked into place. and it was soooo funny. anyway.

road trip to georgia!!!! WITH THE DOGGY!!! mulder calls it “a thing” SO RUDE????

“you wake me up on a saturday morning, tell me to be ready in five minutes, my mother is out of town, all of the dog-sitters are booked, and you know how i feel about kennels” <- help i’m CRYINGGGGG tell him how you feel!!!!

(love that they have already had a conversation on the morality of kennels before)

((but also truly what did he expect 😭😭 and he did all this on a SATURDAY!!!! she ought to have been way meaner!!!))

so he made her leave town with the puppy on a SATURDAY for a missing person’s case… omg do they even get paid overtime???

also mulder is lost which is soooo funny because WHY is he perpetually behind the wheel... he doesn’t have any sense of direction!!!

he makes a stupid pun about the killer being “large” and she straight up asks what he’s leaving out LMAOOO

(he points to a billboard advertising “big blue, the southern serpent) <- “oh, tell me you’re not serious” LMAOOOO

so they’re going to talk to dr. farraday and i think it’s so cute that scully is in some more casual-y clothes. anyway, they’re going over the serious frog beef between him and the victim. farraday does NOT miss dr. bailey’s loser ass... ijbol!!! why should he give a damn for one man when so many species are going extinct!

farraday said “has anyone ever told you two you have a great problem coming to the point?” after mulder asks if any native species attacked humans... lmao he is rude as hell!!!

AND ASKING ABOUT BIG BLUE MADE THINGS WORSE!!! now farraday is going on about how if anything requires real thinking people turn to UFOs and whatnot which is like.... um okay rest assured that if someone is gonna think it’s gonna be mulder. he's gonna think about any and all explanations on a sliding scale of plausibility.

LMAO mulder is being sassy right back while scully screams with her eyes. farraday gets even more pissed and leaves… honestly i’m sorry about the frog population king, but you’re not really winning any friends with influence to help you lobby on behalf of the frogs. or winning any friends at all. 

so mulder and scully and the doggy go to a bait and tackle shop, and the sight of them sharing an umbrella with a dog on a leash healed something in me, something i didn’t know was in need of healing but it was. and they’re reciting the different creatures that live in lakes- apparently scully read about cryptids as a kid!!!! 

she says they’re folk tales and he says “well, how many folktales do you know that can eat a boy scout leader and a biologist?” and she looks soooo annoyed. but then they go in, and he is a proper gentleman and shakes off the umbrella 

at the shop they see a “scale from big blue” and scully says it looks like “a carapace, something from a beetle” which again reminds us that she WAS studying bugs in bio, thank you very much!!

they’re chatting with the dude that sold mulder a map, and he’s talking about his own experience with the creature while wearing a hat that says “show us your bobbers” which is crazy, but we keep going. he claims he heard a cow get eaten by big blue as a kid. and in walks an alleged expert, ansel… whose daddy’s cow was eaten way back then!

ansel is buying more film to someday achieve his dream of catching a picture of the beast and scully looks deeply pained in the background lmaoooo i love her 

someone is putting a worm on a hook in order to fish on the lake. a big one bites!!! a real big one. OH! it’s actually a human body. the fisherman goes and gets the dude from the tackle shop and by proxy our agents.

OH! there is only half a body. they’re bickering on what could have eaten half of a human body while hiding together under an umbrella, and it’s really cute but where is the dog?

the tackle shop man is out in the swampy part near the lake wearing dino-shaped boots to try and make some convincing tracks LMAO. king of the hustle. but something approached him as he gets stuck in the mud!!!! and he is dragged into the dark lake with only a dino boot left behind!

apparently his name was ted. rip ted and your bobber hat and funny boots.

mulder seems to believe that the tracks are legit and tells scully and the dog to watch where they’re walking as to not disturb them (and the dog is named queequeg i’m gonna CRY!!!) 

the sheriff is OFFENDED by mulder’s suggestion to close the lake, because clearly this is just a bunch of drunk people falling overboard!! and then getting run over!! well if that happens as frequently as you seem to think it does, we need to do something regardless of if any beasts are involved.

scully is not buying that the tracks are from a real creature because they did not leave very deep impressions. but the dog yanks her away!!! he’s off investigating the dino boot! the prints may be a hoax, but the blood on the shoe is very real!

cut to some stoners on the lake talking about hallucinogenic toads. he holds a local frog and licks it. but someone interrupts his toad licking session coming back to the surface from a scuba dive?

oh no!! scuba dude is pulled by some sort of creature!!! and his head is removed from his body. well that is not good.

time to locate the head. both of our agents are in fun little jackets, and still bickering over what went down.

ansel the big blue photographer is serenading his camera, preparing for the perfect shot, which he has set up by filling an inner tube with meat. something bubbles beneath it. BUT NO!! it skips the meat on the tube and goes right for him!!!!! he snaps a picture as it gets him!! three attacks in one day!!!!

mulder asks the sheriff again to CLOSE DOWN THE LAKE and he again refuses. scully says it’s inconclusive still, which is echoing the dr. bailey saying about the fate of the frogs being inconclusive!

the sheriff falls in, and out there he brushes into something big. he immediately proclaims that the lake shall be closed down, calls state police, AND wildlife fish and game. well okay that gets results i guess.

they’re examining the photos from ansel, and mulder things that this blurry thing COULD be a tooth. it is very funny.

AWWW the dog needs to go for a walk, and mulder offers to go with her :,) she lifts up her jacket to show her gun, says she’ll be fine, and smiles. STOP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH?????

why is this episode making me emotional with their little lake visit. also something bad is definitely going to happen now. she says goodnight :,)

aww the dog is MAD and she’s talking to him in that kind of voice you reserve for a little creature... but he wants to go into the woods!!

no!!! he runs too fast!!! NO!!!!! WHERE DID HE GO???? HE ISN’T ON THE LEASH????

NO. I CAN’T BEAR TO WATCH SCULLY LOSE HER DOG…. 

oh my gosh, she is sitting in the chair, holding his collar in grief…. she is literally spaced out into another dimension mourning her little friend and mulder is rambling about the lake…. i want to slap him… NOOOO. she asks him to repeat himself because she was so out of it…

(if this doesn’t end with a dog reunion i will drop this dumbass show. BET.)

mulder asks if she can drive a boat. psh can she drive a boat? it’s natural to her bloodline.

she is piloting the boat and he’s telling her where to go, and she’s braver than me because if i lost my dog at this moment i think i would need two weeks to begin to even SORT of get a grasp on reality. 

“i know the difference between expectation and hope. seek and ye shall find, scully” <- this is a genuinely fantastic line said by mulder, but i’m still in dog mourning so we can go analyze that later 

map facts with scully :)

until the monster comes STRAIGHT AT THEM!! i like how she kept asking “what is that, mulder?” because it reminded me of when she kept asking mulder to get the bugs off of her in darkness falls… like the blind hope/faith/desperation that he would hold the answers and have a solution… ohhhgghh

big crash into the boat!!! it is leaking and she picks up the radio and calls a distress signal (another natural feature to a scully) but the boat is FILLING with water!!

mulder gets some life jackets for them and they barely get them on in time as the boat sinks. whew! a conveniently placed rock for them to perch upon is nearby!!!

but there goes the $500 deposit :( 

mulder says to swim and she is GAGGED “in which direction?!” lmaoooo

mulder is unsettled by how dark it is, because you forget these things in a city… and scully says you forget a lot of things in a city; her father taught her to respect nature, because it has no respect for you. or your dog, i guess :(

they both pull out their guns as they hear splashing!!!! mulder whispers that it was big blue, but scully asks “so what if it was?” <- NOOO you took her dog and her deposit, you’ve broken her spirit!!!

mulder says he wants to know because it could revolutionize science, and so many of the things they chase are intangible, but it’s a creature within the confines of a lake, it should be right HERE- and she isn't buying it for a second

she says she saw HIS FUTURE in ansel’s photographs, a man listening only to himself and seeing nonsense; she can’t figure out his motives, and things are approaching angst levels on this rock in the middle of nowhere, but SOMETHING APPROACHES!!!!

it’s a duck. okay so it could be worse!!! he says he’s still tempted to fire and she slams into him LMAOOO 

sleepover on the rock. “hey scully, do you think you could ever cannibalize someone?” <- LDHDMDNSMDNSBBDNSND I’M GENUINELY YELLING LMAOOOOOOO HOLD ON. hold on i need a minute to handle all that. (she gives a thoughtful and scientific response) <- that’s Them. that is their dynamic right there.

“you’ve lost some weight recently, haven’t you?” “yeah i have, thanks for-“ (glare of realization) LMAOOOOOOOO WHAT EVEN IS THIS EPISODE

“poor queequeg” she says, and i’m gonna CRY. but mulder has a better response now to her grief instead of just babbling on about the lake, asks why she chose that name. she shares that was the name of the harpoonist in moby dick, which her father used to read to her from.

and as she says this, she realizes how much mulder is like ahab, “so consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be it’s inherent cruelties or it’s mysteries, that everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology” <- the words of a girl who was REALLY into a book as a kid and is also experiencing near-death levels of hypothermia and grief

LMAOOOOO HIS RESPONSE IS “scully, are you coming onto me?” yes. now kiss on the rock.

and she keeps going, talking about how his search for the Truth will take down everything he loves, just as it did for Ahab.

OH! he starts talking about how he always wished for a peg leg, even as a kid, and it first it seems like another of his many jokes but he says it’s because maybe then it’s enough to Persist despite the difficulty; without, “you’re actually expected to make something of your life- achieve something, earn a raise, wear a necktie” so perhaps he is the ANTITHESIS of ahab, for with a peg leg he may be more pleased! 

woah. that got deep. i’ll be gnawing on that one for a bit.

THEY BOTH QUOTE A LINE FROM THE BOOK AT THE SAME TIME... STOP I’M GONNA SOB?????

but a splashing approaches… and they draw their guns…. CUT TO A COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!!

it’s dr. farraday??? he says he hopes he’s not INTERRUPTING anything!!! wait so was the shore right there the whole time LMAOOO (silent walk of shame to the shore) BAHAHA

so what is this dude doing out here?? obviously it’s frog science! he’s been breeding the frogs to get their numbers back up. 

mulder is thinking…. if there are fewer frogs for a dinosaur to eat… it would have no choice but to turn to different food sources! (cutscene to serious arguing between mulder and dr. farraday whilst scully watches)

sheriff rolls up!!! another person had their arm bit off, and so he has thirty boats searching that area. but mulder says we have to search THIS cove, where the frogs have been going missing!! he blatantly refuses.

what if it was her little dog that bit the dude’s arm off…

scully politely asks for him to send a few men over and immediately gets results LMAOOO he quietly mumbles “thanks”

but a distant scream is heard!!! it’s dr. farraday!!! they run and find him!! something grabbed his leg and was shaking it. his leg is messed up really bad so scully is tying a tourniquet, and mulder’s running off after the mystery creature…. no self preservation instincts….

so he’s off with a gun and a flashlight chasing the human eating beast…. only to find some frogs. but something is approaching him?? quickly!!! and he’s firing his gun!!!

into a GATOR??? not a fancy lake beast!!

he’s staring out into the water… claiming to be fine. but he said he wanted the monster to be real, that he saw hope in such a possibility. she says there is still hope, that people want to believe, which is why the stories have endured for so long. 

GASP! the minute they leave, we see a big sea beast…

i’m literally so torn because i was CONVINCED the dog was going to come back 😭😭😭 and this episode was so good but WHY did they have to throw that in there… like i can’t even make an objective analysis of how this went because i’m so sad. WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?!?!

“oh juni there have been lots of human people that die in this series” which i mourned for too! but. i have felt the pain of losing a beloved and innocent creature and i do not wish for it to return and being reminded of its inevitably is not something i wish upon anyone MUCH less dana scully, who has already suffered in mythological levels.

really though, the episode was good. it was genuinely fantastic. it just clearly hit a bit of a nerve with me so i'm not going to do a thoughtful wrap up in the manner i like to think i usually do. but here are the things i liked, beyond the whole aesthetic and mood: bickering, umbrella sharing, scully at the helm, joint quoting of moby dick, deep introspection in the form of projecting onto book characters, cannibalism debates, outlandish creature as a monster of the week, rock sleepover, and fighting over frogs