#it’s so juicy idk…

[hailsatanacab]

Family Dinners - dpxdc

"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.

The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.

"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.

"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.

"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."

Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored them—almost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first place—but... he's having dinner with Batman.

Ancients, that's so weird!

The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.

Wait. Family dinners?

He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.

"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.

"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.

From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.

"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"

"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"

"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."

"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinking—because seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?—before clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."

The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.

Come on, Danny, recover!

"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."

"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?

"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."

"Costume? What do you mean?"

Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.

"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!

"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.

"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.

His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.

"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.

Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"

"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"

"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."

"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.

It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.

It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personality—even if that personality is little more than a tired father right now—far better than how it had been, at the end.

Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.

"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."

Once again, the whole table falls into silence.

"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"

"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"

"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."

Danny's grin freezes in place.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."

"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"

Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.

"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.

"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."

An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.

"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.

"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."

"What did happen?"

"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."

"How long in the future was it?"

"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.

Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dick—whose grin is the biggest—says, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"

"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."

"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."

"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"

"What?"

"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."

Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.

"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small one—Dami?—asks, his face pinched.

"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."

"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"

"Damian, stop—"

"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesn’t look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."

"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."

"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.

"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."

"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."

"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."

"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."

[allmyhomieshatelawns]

DP x DC

Cackling filled the air, along with the sound of a blade slicing through the air. The whistle it made could drive you just as crazy as listening to the cackling.

Danny wasn’t sure why the man was laughing. Nothing around him was particularly funny. Blood spatters covered the cracked asphalt at Danny’s feet. Blood dripped off of his body, none of it his own.

Danny’s fingers twirled, repositioning the scythe he held, to rest on his shoulder. He surveyed the scene before him, a frown tugging down his lips.

People were standing along the streets, phones up, mouths hanging open. All of them were staring.

I didn’t think people could really see reapers. Danny mused, cackling cutting off as he studied those studying him.

It had been a few hundred years since everyone he knew had died peacefully of old age. Danny, having lived a fulfilled life, entered the Ghost Zone, prepared to be the new King, when Clockwork had merely smirked at him, eyes fond.

“What do you mean I have to serve as a reaper of souls first?”

Clockwork had been very insistent this was the way of things, but Danny was half-convinced he was making it up as he went.

Whatever gets the best timeline, I suppose. Danny looked out at the gathered crowd, then down at the twisted form below him.

“Jack Oswald White, you have been judged of sending those before their time, to the Realms Eternal. You have been found guilty of your crimes. With this slash, I, High King Phantom, Reaper of Souls, sentence you to the Nightmare Realm to be tormented until the end of Time.” Raising the scythe, Danny prepared to send the soul where it belonged.

“Wait!��� A man stumbled forward through the crowd. A few people screamed as he broke through the ring, turning and running. The man was built, but what caught Danny’s eye, was the tuft of white hair on his forehead, and the feeling of death that hung around him. The domino mask was also eye-catching, but more background noise.

He stood before Danny and the condemned, drinking in the sight of the bloody man, like someone whom had been lost in the desert.

“Okay, go ahead. I just. I needed to see it.” The man puffed, domino-white eyes wide in anticipation. “Don’t worry, the other bats won’t come and ruin it. I took care of that.”

Danny cocked his head, feeling something humming in the air now that the man had settled in. The humming was bloodlust. Everyone here was eager to see this man die.

It was more than a little startling since Danny had never been seen before as the Reaper. It was more startling since most people who saw him screamed and ran away. What is wrong with these people? Where am I again? Gotham? Well the name seems to fit at least. Danny mused, before he nodded, and brought the scythe down.

*

Jason wanted to scream. Not in the “oh I’ve been hurt” or even “I’m so mad I could fill a bag with heads!” way, but the excitement, the primal feeling welling up within him didn’t want to be contained.

Oracle had reported some kind of public execution near Crime Alley. She hadn’t been able to confirm who it was for, nor who was doing it. All the cameras were bugging out in the area it was happening. Since Jason had been closest, he had managed to get there first.

In the middle of a massive crowd —and wasn’t that odd? Most people ran away from stuff like this— could just be seen an ethereal being floating above their heads. The being looked like someone about Jason’s age, but their skin glowed with an unearthly blue, and their hair, the color of starlight, moved in a way that contradicted the wind whipping everyone’s coats. The being was clad in black robes, the folds of which showed either constellations or a swirling green void that made something in Jason’s chest tighten.

And they held a massive scythe.

As Jason got closer, he heard the manic laughing, and froze.

The Joker.

Pushing through the crowd, heart hammering, Jason knew he had to— he had to do what? Save the Joker?

His earpiece made a high-pitched squeal as he broke through the crowd and saw the Joker’s body on the ground, scythe poised to finish the job.

The shriek that filled the air as the soul was sent to the Nightmare Realm, something inside Jason seemed to crack. The Reaper, High King Phantom as he had called himself, looked at Jason, and the crack felt like it wasn’t there.

I need to talk to him.

[leqclerc]

Charles Leclerc in Formula 1: Drive to Survive, Season 7 (2025)

[crowleywowley]

Hello everyone I am so sick and cannot stop drawing stupid pointy Crowley snakes. So here u go.

Bonus stupid snake:

[salt-n-salt]

my fav Harvey characterization that I love to daydream abt is the stark difference between classic “slipping on banana peels” and “glasses nervously slipping down nose bridge” Harvey and when he’s in total doctor mode. like his ass does NOT play around in that clinic mama. not clumsy whatsoever. if he tosses a used syringe over his shoulder it goes straight into the trash can. very stern, no playing around attitude. and then at the very end of the check up he’ll walk you out of the clinic and immediately trip on his shoelace as he crosses over the threshold. that’s the hottest shit ever I think.

[why-the-heck-not]

today very much wasn’t as cozy as the pictures of it, but let’s pretend it was

[screechingfromthevoid]

AND ANOTHER THING

Dorian has always been super specific about his love for Orym.

In the threat scene Dorian says "I care about you more than this" which, I thought before I rewatched the scene, I was misremembering. I thought he really said "I care about you all more than this", making it about the collective, not wanting to leave the group. But no. He said he cared about Orym more than he cared about the crown.

Another thing I thought I misremembered was "no debts between us". For whatever reason I thought Dorian said "no debts between friends" but no. He was very specific with his words and inflections. "There are no debts between us"

"my heart aches that I cannot be there to help you" "sending you fairer winds" "I just like to see you happy" "you're the reason I'm here" "let me comfort you for once."

It has always been about Orym. It has been. It always will be.

[thetenthsunrise]

one of my favourite things in the sunlit man is how it’s displays roshar from an outsiders perspective—particularly with The Cinder King.

he sees roshar as a place where war and violence is the most important thing. we obviously know that’s not all that they’re defined by, buts he’s looking at roshar through one perspective. the book he gets highlights this violence so of course he’ll think that’s the only thing that matters. combine that with nomads skill and of course he’ll feel like that has to be the central driving factor for all of them.

and then nomad turns it around and tells him that the most important thing to a rosharan is not violence: it’s an oath. and the breaking of an oath on roshar is something that deadly.

[haebi-nd]

FERRARI GETO SUGURU'S GF

POV: being f1 driver!geto's adored gf w/ moodboards & headcanons

a/n. i fear i know too little about geto's personality, and racing in general, to make fully developed headcanons with this au but when i saw this fanart by @aransmind i just had to. (they have more art as well and it's all amazing so check their acc out!) anyways, i hope you enjoy the few headcanons here that i've made + the moodboards which i'm far better at, thanks <3 also while i was researching.... "researching" i came across this amazing fic by @rorja that I've taken a little bit of inspo from—go check it out along with the fanart that inspired this all!

“INTRODUCING THIS SEASON'S HOTTEST DRIVER YET, GETO SUGURU”

f1 driver!geto who drives his pr manager up the wall because he's constantly retweeting, reblogging paparazzi photos taken of you as you sit in the audience tentatively watching him

+ especially the one they've got of you pretty crying after one of his earliest victories

f1 driver!geto whose fans always manage to find every single photo you guys have ever taken together and absolutely gush about how cute of a couple you guys make

f1 driver!geto who always ends up giving into your wishes for him to stay just a minute longer in each other's warmth before he's off for training

f1 driver!geto and gf!you who loves brainstorming strategies and plans together

f1 driver!geto who makes sure to credit your input on the cunning pit stop strategies or undercuts his team is known for pulling off

pretty ferrari boy geto whose love for racing, although passionate, could never even compare to the unfathomable amount of love he has for you and only you

© haebi-nd, haebi nice day

[jerrythebug]

Happy pride from the gayest leaguers

(and me)

[buckycap]

btw while i’m sure orym does disagree w dorian in his stance w the arch heart and i’m sure that’s why he looked SO incredibly distressed, don’t forget that dorian was essentially saying he’d sacrifice himself to do it and that’s just in general a very upsetting thing to hear from someone you love especially when you remember orym’s history w losing people. so i don’t wanna discount orym’s distress at being upset that he and dorian are so opposed but also i feel like it’s important to remember that sacrificial talk just in general is a distressing thing to hear someone you love talk about so openly

[myfairkatiecat]

My reading rumble presentation! Presentations are supposed to be more visually appealing and this is mostly just words, so... sorry... but hopefully I've made those words worth your time!

(For some reason it's hard to read/kinda low quality in image format? sorry guys😭)

@camelspit thanks for hosting this super fun event that I had a lot of fun with! (I did not procrastinate, I... maximized the aid of adrenaline)

Again, sorry for the low quality, idk how to fix the slight blurriness. Hope everybody enjoyed my presentation on two of my favorite kotlc characters with who each have plenty of issues on their own and some of the issues they have in their relationship :D

[judasgot-it]

i would like to request what hunting dogs would do when their s/o has insomnia, a lot of hugs and kisses please🥰

Sorry for the inactivity, I apologize everytime and I feel horrible about it :,(

I have horrible insomnia right now (I can't sleep well no matter what I try, it's hopeless) so I'm 100% using this to cope a bit. Also sorry about how messy reader is in Tecchou's part, I just love messy crying. I'm so weak for it.

Scenario: They help you fall asleep (Jouno, Tecchou)

Jouno

893 words

Jouno couldn't tell the time.

Whatever time it was, his body didn't care - it was screaming at him to go back to bed, making his bones feel sluggish with their weight.

Unfortunately, his ears kept pestering him, since no matter how quiet you tried to be, he could still hear you in the kitchen. Doing what? Jesus Christ, who knew.

Whatever it was, it was too damn loud.

It felt nearly impossible for Jouno to make his body move, but by some feat, he managed. He found his feet both on the ground, walking towards the bedroom, out the too-long hallway, and into the kitchen to see what in god's name you could think was worth losing sleep over.

By his guess, it was most probably around 2 in the morning. How horrible.

"Hi."

There was a loud clatter as he heard you drop the dishes in the sneak rather unquietly. Also, you screamed, but that was to be expected.

"Oh my god!"

Is there a God at this forsaken time of night?

Jouno sighed as he leaned against the wall, rubbing his eyes out of habit.

"Yeah. I'm right here."

He gave you a moment to collect yourself, your heartbeat still skyrocketing through the roof. He yawned, nearly deafened by the sound of his jaw pulling at his muscles.

"So."

As patient as he could, he waited. There was noise on your end - a clattering of dishes, and he was sure you threw a towel somewhere, but that was of lesser importance.

"So. Jouno."

"Yeah?"

You patted your bare thighs, popping your lips together. Nervous.

"Why are you up?"

You tried to play your words off with a giggle. He knew he probably looked the least bit pleased, but nothing was going to convince him to go easy on you right now.

"Y/n. You know why I'm up. I'm the one asking the questions here, if I recall."

"Oh, right. Because you're 'the greatest hunting dog' and all, right?"

Jouno sighed, covering his eyes. He took a deep breath in, holding it in. It was calming, feeling his lungs slowly fill with air. His head cleared, helping him realize that the headache he had was I'm part due to the tension he was keeping in his body. In that time, he heard your heart beat skyrocket, your breath slowing as you stared.

He tried not to smile as he let go of his breath slowly. If Jouno wasn't exhausted he would have teased you about it.

"'Don't do this to me. It's 2 in the morning, go to bed."

Your laughter was a nice noise to hear. Just not now. God, not now. His body was dragging him to the ground and your laughter was reminding him that he was standing, awake - as if he were in hell.

Your laughter shouldn't be in a place as torturous as this. Like the hell between staying awake and crawling back to bed, because someone thought baking at two in rhe morning was a good idea.

"Sorry princess, but I need to put these brownies in the fridge. I'm trying out this recipe I saw online and I think-"

You didn't get to finish that sentence, as you were instead kidnapped in Jouno's arms. The man didn't care to hear the end of it - he only wanted it to end.

"No." He sighed, pressing his cold nose against your neck. "You're insane, honestly."

He muffled his words into your shirt collar, still restraining you as you struggled against his hold. There was no point, as no matter what way you fought, you couldn't fight against a super-enhanced human - even a tired one.

"This is so ..."

You paused for a bit, looking for the right words. Your brain was tired, although it hadn't registered to you just yet. Your heart still beat fast enough for you to convince yourself that you were awake, even if your eyes and mind were exhausted.

"So ...fun police of you."

The words that came out of your mouth came out sloppy at best, but they got a lame chuckle out of Jouno.

With care, he took you back to the bedroom - dropping you onto the bed like a pile of unfolded laundry. You practically laid there as if you were dead anyway.

"I have no problem arresting and cuffing you to bed if it means sleep is involved."

You giggled, as much as your tired brain could push from your throat. The bed shifted as Jouno dropped himself on the mattress, pulling up the still warm blanket over the two of you.

"What if that meant something else was involved too?"

Jouno groaned, turning back towards you. He could imagine the stupid smile on your face right now.

"Y/n."

"Yeah?"

Jouno took his hand and slowly, carefully, dragged it across your face. He felt as your eyebrows pinched in confusion, and your eyelids fluttered before he finally set his fingertips on your lips.

"Shush."

He felt you nod against his hand, before finally relaxing. Tiredly, he pulled you closer, burying his face in your hair as he slowly pressed his lips against your forehead.

"Goodnight, sleepyhead."

Jouno felt a smile pull on his face at those words. Like an idiot, he let you roam your hands around his body - when really he should have smothered you to death.

Tecchou

739 words

Waking up before you were supposed to was like a coin toss - depending on the mood it's either a great early start, or the worst feeling in the world. Sometimes the body had gotten it's full rest, or it was forced awake by something talked about in horror stories.

Tecchou decided he was indeed not well rested, and that waking up at what could well be 2 in the morning was equivalent to a horror story. Why would he want to wake up to one of the worst sounds a man could hear - his own partner, crying?

Maybe if he was Jouno, but he didn't want to think about that.

He sat up, listening as he tried to decipher what you were doing.

You were rather quiet, trying your hardest to hide your cries behind your blanket (gross, but he appreciated the effort). Opening his eyes, he glanced over to see that you were enraptured by some sort of video on your phone, the blue light illuminating your face (and probably burning your retinas, from Tecchou's guess).

He shuffled closer, trying to peak at the screen while not disturbing you. Whatever you were staring at on your phone had distracted you well enough to not even notice his presence, was slightly concerning to Tecchou - you were very spatially aware.

Shaking your shoulder, he winced when you screamed - right in his ear, with snot blowing right across his face. He elected to not react to it, considering how red your eyes looked.

"Tecchou!"

"Yea. I'm here." He replied while casually wiping off his face with the blanket he was once sleeping peacefully under.

He stared at you, his amber eyes glowing from your phone screen. You looked back, trying to readjust to the sudden change in brightness.

"M'sorry, did I wake you?" You had finally shut off you phone, resting it on your chest - giving yourself a good chance to see his full face.

"Why are you crying, babe?"

His hand roamed around your stomach, softly pulling at the fabric around it. It made you shiver as you felt his legs press against yours, warming you underneath the sheets.

"Oh...um..." You tore your gaze away from his, staring straight at the ceiling. You fidgeted with your phone, trying to stop your trembling lip.

Carefully, Tecchou reached over and wiped away your spilled-over tears, thumbing your cheek as if your skin were made of glass. He pulled you closer, resting your head against his chest, trying to calm you. Adversely, this had the opposite effect, making you start to cry even more onto his naked skin.

There were muffled stupid and sorry between your sobs, although he elected to ignore them for now. Instead, he waited as your body was racked with tears, shaking and holding onto Tecchou as if he were a lifeline.

"Hey, babe?" Calmly rubbing your shoulder, Tecchou waited as you wiped your snot and tears along your sleeve, sniffing as loud as an American bullfrog.

"Can I ask what upset you so much?"

You lightly smacked his shoulder, still hiding yourself within his warmth.

"You already did, ass."

"Right."

He went back to holding you, waiting for your reply. Eventually, when he thought you would have maybe decided to fall back asleep again instead, with the room still cast in pitch-black shadows, you decided to reply -

"I failed my exam."

Silently, Tecchou nodded.

There wasn't anything he could say to make you feel better, at no words that he knew to say. It was easier to simply pull you closer, to make you feel better through his hold than to say anything more.

"It's fine, you should try and sleep. Maybe you'll feel better in the morning."

Carefully, he pulled your phone from your hand, sliding it onto the bedside table, hoping to stop you from looking at your failure once again.

You didn't need to be reminded of it anymore, not when he could distract you right now.

As gently as a man like Tecchou could, he took to scratching at the soft skin at the back of your neck, gently tapping his rough fingernails along your spine. He smiled as felt you begin to relax, breathing out a sigh as his fingertips brushed alongside your bare shoulder blades.

He watched as you relaxed into his form, waiting until you started to breathe slower so he could allow himself to fully fall asleep once again.

Sorry about the months-long break, I didn't mean to abandon Tecchou. Also btw IRLs of mine know about this account so if I start sounding even weirder on here it's because I stopped caring about my employment opportunities

[stubz]

"I think Glip and Kal don't like me."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, we just don't talk. Like it's fine when your here or Quip is here but when you guys leave we don't really talk."

"Have you tried? Like making small talk?"

"Yeah but its really awkward and short." Max sighs leaning back in his chair.

"Hmmm...oh my god Piper! Take that off Marl!"

He watches as his friend and co-worker runs off to deal with Piper running off with Marl, treating the youngling as a stuffie to dress. Marl cackled as they were carried off by the human.

"Too bad you don't talk to them like my Mapa, they are a chatter bug."

"Your Mapa is a chatter bug? Really Dali?" he found it hard to believe that Calis would be chatty. The ever so serious and stoic first mate.

"Yeah but only when Pomo gets them talking. Usually about go-sip."

"Gossip huh?"

.

"He sent the email to everyone. Everyone! He sent all the texts and messages between them to everyone to show them what she said about us."

"Oh my god what a power move...this dude is my hero." Quip nods in agreement.

"Want me to read em?"

"Max I would kill you if you didn't."

"Seconded."

..

"-I feel unsafe in this hostile environment. You told me it was fine, that I could go whenever."

"Go whenever? ...she left like a day before the wedding! A day! She had 3 goddamn months!! And hostile??? Says the woman who tried to call the cops on her own roommate for being 'too loud'!!" shouts Quip crushing the drink in his hand.

"It gets better."

"HOW?!" cries Kim

"Hold up! Pause! I need a new drink!"

"Oh get me one too will you?" the humans call out.

...

"-I'll be changing the locks and hereby request to you all who I have sent this email to to not contact her or respond to her. Thanks for reading and Tiffany, I'm willing to talk to when you come back from your trip. Bring your keys."

"Oh shit its done! She's dumped. He's dumping her as soon as she comes home!"

"I need a copy of this or just you to read it to me again and again for a month."

"Oh with pleasure, I love reading this. It never gets old."

"Thank you for sharing this. This was the best gossip I've had in years. Come on, desert on me!" she shouts grabbing her friends arms leading them back to the cafeteria.

....

"Hey Max!" he looks up from his lunch and sees Quip with Kal and Glip.

"Hey guys."

"I was telling these two about the shipwreck you told me and they won't stop hounding me about asking you for a copy of the email or in depth detail so here." he shoves his two embarrassed partners forwards to the human

"I'd love to hear it again but I gotta return something before the place closes. I'll be back in an hour, have fun!" he calls waving to them

"...so how much do you guys know?"

"...a bit but could you start from the beginning?"

"Like when she said she hurt her back a week after flaking on doing her part of the wedding planning."

"Gotcha. So she says that she hurt her back a week after going to the gym, which makes no sense because back injuries hurt right after or hours after the thing you did!"

"Oh she's lying."

"Did they kick her out of the wedding planning?"

"No, because they don't want to cause drama about this. Like its hard to subtlety make a person prove their back is hurt. Also the job they gave her was the smallest thing so."

"What was her job?"

"Making sure there was enough napkins and balloons."

"Get a hint Tiffany!"

"That's so sad."

.....

"So I heard you're gossip buddies with Kal and Glip?"

"Yep. Spent 3 hours sharing gossip."

"..."

"You wanna hear it?"

"Yes!"

"Thought you would. Wrote down the key notes of each story."

"This is why we're best friends!!"

[pidgeonlaguz]

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!! 💖💘💖💔💖💘💖

saw this shirt and decided immediately that i needed to put sylvain in it, all spiraled out of control from there

[screechingfromthevoid]

Okay but somehow the champions or extremely trusted followers get to raise the little god babies.

First off that's SO many kids in Vox Machina. My initial thought was the matron being raised by Vax like Purvan helped raise Emirah.

But then I thought about Pike and her connection to the Everlight (and allegedly they might be distantly related 👀) so I think the Everlight would go to Pike.

THEN I thought about Vex's connection to the Dawn Father. And sure there are probably people more qualified, but Vex does have his blessing. And the Dawn Father thinks about Aiden then. His softness, his kindness, and made the decision that if he could be raised in close proximity to his siblings, he would.

Second, I think the Stormlord would go to Yasha (and Beau. They wanted to adopt anyway) because of her devotion and her celestial blood.

And in the same vein as the Dawn Father and Aiden, the Wild Mother would go to Caduceus. He and his family had been so good to her. And she'd be raised so close to at least one of her siblings.

Idk I think that'd be neat