#it’s so discouraging seeing that shit.
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artsy-feely rambling under the cut :) 🌻🧡
of course I can’t find the post now but a while back I posted about an artist I met on my trip to Italy who really moved me. he was an older gentleman selling paintings, and we had a very heartwarming conversation together in which I complimented his work, and just from the way I spoke about it he recognized me as a fellow artist. so, we sort of just bridged this gap of age and language as complete strangers as he explained his technique to me and we basically just nerded out about art together. it was just such a meaningful encounter to me in a way I can’t explain, and I bought one of his paintings so I would remember it, but it’s just been sitting packaged in my room for a while and I hadn’t put it up yet.
anyways, I just put it up in my dorm yesterday, and I wanted to finally post a picture of it because I had been meaning to show you guys for ages but never got around to it!!
this is the painting I purchased from him - it’s just one of his smaller ones because I couldn’t afford the big paintings, but I love it dearly and you can still see the technique that caught my eye in the first place, which was his use of neons!!
I’ve never seen anyone use neons like that before, and I just find it so fucking smart and fascinating, it’s such a simple thing but I think it’s fucking genius. usually I would say it would be hard to use neon paints in this particular style of traditional landscape painting without it looking cheap or out of place, but he uses them in juuuuust the right way to add this absolutely STUNNING light and warmth to his pieces!!!!!!
I took some closer detail pics to show you guys so you can see what I’m talking about; look at those messy little dabs of orange highlights on the flowers that make them look illuminated in the setting sun!! look at the hints of peachy neon in the sky to give that illusion of sunlight shining through the clouds!! the tiniest little touches of bright green and yellow on the trees to give the same effect!!!!!!!
it’s messy, and impressionistic, and imperfect, and so simple, but it comes together as such a vivid warm picture, and I’m fucking obsessed with it as a concept. I desperately wish I had taken pictures of his other art so I could show you just how fucking cool his larger pieces were, but at the very least I have this little reminder to keep with me :)
anyways, I fucking love art, I love being an artist, I love connecting with other artists regardless of age or culture or background or expression, and I think this dude’s paintings are fucking sick as hell and wanted to share it with everyone <3
#ITS SO COOOOL LOOK AT IT ITS SO COOL#ITS SO FUCKING SMART#it’s even brighter irl but STILL not in a way that looks childish or distracts from the rest of the piece!!!!#it just highlights it and brings it to life perfectly!!!!! it’s so fucking good!!!!!!!!#anyways. I want to fill up the whole wall in my room that my desk faces so that whenever I’m struggling in art school I can look at it#and just see a shit ton of art from different people that inspires me. and I can remember why I love art and why I love doing this#and hopefully it will help with art block and discouragement :)))#art#but NOT mine. art from random Italy dude who’s name I can’t remember 🫶🫶 ily forever
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gonna vent for a sec but im so tired of this "don't wanna be an inconvenience", people pleasing shit ngl.....do people who do this know that they just come off as really rude and like... it just feels insulting each time
#idk it's so upsetting and discouraging im really tired of it#like bro.... everyone can see what you're doing and#you doing it just communicates that you think im a fucking awful person#if im going to be fine with like someone... putting themselves down for the sake of others#or denying help because thay dont want to be an inconvenience#it just feels rude#if you don't think that i genuinely want to help you#if you think that I'm just fucking pretending or whatever then why are you even here I don't want#a friend who thinks these thoughts about me xd#like#how many times do i have to assure someone#i just feel like shit#it really just feels so shittyyyyyyy#comeonnnnn#people can SEE you people pleasing and doing all that shit#and everybody fucking hates it#it just makes me super uncomfortable and i know it also makes other ppl i know very uncomfortable also#on one hand I don't wanna mention anything to this person because trauma is trauma what the fuck am i#supposed to do about that its just a trauma response but god i have feelings too#i want that person to also consider me because it feels so awful it just taints every single interaction#because it makes me feel like they think im some awful person who's going to be fine#with them carrying all their stuff even though i offered like 5 times and them just pushing themselves aside so i have space#even though im offering to share#AURGHH#it feels so bad#i feel like this every time i spend time with this person or any other person who does this that i know enough to like#recognize the behavior#idk im just tired I can't be putting all my effort#into reassuring every single step it's just sucking all fun out of everything we do together it just feels like shit whatever
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howdy y’all so uh…I think I might have hit a huge follower milestone
#like… it’s an amount I’d never thought I’d ever see or get to??#and I always understood that I don’t wanna compare and feel discouraged by the follow amount#but like… holy shit I’m still in shock omfg#we might need to do a celebration soon maybe 👀#I’m so incredibly grateful and still can’t process it honestly#Erika shut up tag
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I'm not going to say we should take every single thing official Netflix accounts post as gospel, because obviously they are not run by the Duffer Brothers themselves.
But to be clear, these people are hired by Netflix and there's more to it than just random interns scheduling posts. The people running these accounts are not the same people designing the posts made there, just like the people designing those posts have higher ups telling them what to do/not do in terms of the content they are creating. And there are plenty more levels that go beyond that, which eventually does lead to the Duffers and producers of the show, who do have a stake in how the show is promoted on a basic level to best align with their intentions and all the revelations still to come.
It is common knowledge that the Duffers work with Netflix marketing directly on a consistent basis to get their vision across, and that carries out in promotion with posters, merchandise, social media, etc., because it's really important in ST case (with it being a show made by nerds that love easter eggs), that they foreshadow what is still to come outside of the show itself.
When it comes to social media, the core purpose of those accounts is to encourage engagement for Netflix's user base, ideally ensuring they tune in to whatever is being promoted (and more), but it’s also more than that, in that it’s even more based on data and other factors.
What this leads to is the people in those less major decision-making roles, like graphic designers, simply being advised what to create, based on the information and content they are given to work with.
And so these accounts going from promoting byler subtly for years, to blatantly posting about it post-s5, is actually very, very intentional, going beyond a simple Netflix intern. It’s orchestrated by those in management positions, being advised by those in the ST production to do things a certain way, so that when all is said and done, we are able to look back and find tiny little things that point to it.
Byler can't be something they NEVER talked about even once on social media, only to have them end up being endgame with them posting about it forever afterwards when it's all said and done. It doesn't work like that, at least not in ST case. We're talking about a production that costs hundreds of millions to make, as well as being the most talked about mainstream series of our generation.
They have an obligation to make their story feel not only satisfying on its own, but to also promote the show in a way that makes the viewer feel this whole well-rounded experience, outside of the show itself as well.
And so when ST came out in summer 2022 and Netflix Geeked was making posts about it non-stop, that wasn't a rogue, low-paid Netflix intern doing whatever they wanted. That was multiple people with a job given a task and following through with it at their advisers discretion. Regardless of where it ended up, it started at the top with the Duffers informing higher ups in marketing that Byler is something that will happen, along with other revelations that they want to inform marketing about, so they can take the steps to plan ahead and create content that matches the Duffer's vision, most often to act as a foreshadowing device for the story still unraveling.
Remember when Netflix Geeked made a post acknowledging that Will the Wise drawing in El's room back in s3?? A very well known byler easter egg that only we know about??? That wasn't some ga intern watching the show once and them spontaneously coming up with content to create related to that drawing and posting about it themselves. That was very likely someone associated with the show giving suggestions to marketing, with a few of them being very incriminating in relation to byler, but with most being casual in relation to the show overall.
Just like I said in this post about how Noah didn't tweet about byler or mention it multiple times at cons unprompted bc he was feeling quirky. He was being advised to...
And look what Netflix did to that tweet Noah posted that was clearly a stunt in an of itself.? They broadcasted it and made a cheesy ass edit out of it... And it's bc several people behind the scenes were advised to make content like that specifically.
I mean, if you actually look at how social media promotes byler (if and when it does), it's arguably in the exact way that the Duffers want it to be promoted?. Just enough. Not too little. Not too much. I would argue if the Duffers had no say whatsoever in how the show was promoted, then we'd either be seeing byler constantly or we wouldn't see them at all, instead we see social media sort of dance around it, which tells me they are following the exact approach the Duffers themselves follow... because they were obviously given the instruction to.
And so seeing an account like UK Netflix, an account that as of recent has really went all out with posting Queer content since Heartstopper released, has also notably made really incriminating posts about byler over the years, but especially as of recent. And that's in large part because of what I've stated, but also based on data.
If higher ups in marketing at Netflix know about byler, then they are very likely pushing people lower on the payroll, doing more simple tasks like graphic design and social media management, to make connections to ST with other shows like Heartstopper, Sex Education, Young Royals, etc. And this is because if byler IS going to end up being this huge Queer love story, data is telling them to make these connections sooner than later, so that the eventual revelation will be a smooth transition amongst other content just like it. This works in Netflix's favor at the end of the day, which is the whole point of all of this.
Not saying you should take the most casual of Netflix posts as byler endgame proof if that's what you're asking. But to say that these accounts have NO association with the Duffer's and ST directly, therefore we shouldn’t even appreciate anything they post if it points to byler, is sort of over-simplifying things.
It's not like s5 is gonna drop and all of these interns are going to be like OHHH okay now i'm a byler so i'll post about it... Going into s5 they're going to be making some very side eye posts and it isn't going to have anything to do with them being an intern without any say in things, its gonna be about them getting a task list and following through with it bc it's their job.
#byler#stranger things#whenever i see bylers just having fun appreciating a netflix post acknowledging byler#only to see another byler discouraging them bc it's not proof#i lose brain cells#bc like no shit it isn't proof#but it's still a small piece of the puzzle just like posters and trailer and merch and everything else in between outside of the show#it's not like these accounts are going to spontaneously start posting byler post-s5 bc they feel like it...#it goes beyond that...#the duffers themselves have said they worked with marketing to plan out foreshadowing hiding in the details of their posters...#all it literally takes is them telling one person high up in marketing#'hint at byler... make it subtle but not too subtle!'#and that's literally all there is to it#all it takes is a graphic designer reading off notes for what the creators want/expect and doing it according to their wishes...#that's it#q: where do you think they get the footage to create and post what they do? a: the ST production!#like lets use our brains here#so if you see a byler positive post from an official netflix account#go nuts#bc byler endgame is already happening#it isn't going to happen/not happen bc of a social media post acknowledging it#but that doesn't mean you cant celebrate and enjoy yourself while we wait
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rant below
can we please shut the fuck up
all of us. about almost everything. can we please. please please please just for one day shut the fuck up
can we shut the fuck up about ships and duo names and "oh this cc is better then this one and i hate their editing style and meh meh meh blah blaH BALH SHUT THE FUCN UP"
PLEASR
because jesus christ. oh my fuckign god. i cannot go on this website for twenty fucking minutes without seeing SOMEONE. ANYONE complaining about SOMETHING
and i know im probably being hypocritical about all this by complaining but dear god someone has to tell you guys that IT DOESNT. FUCKING. MATTER.
these are YOUTUBERS that play fuckingn MINECRAFT for a living and they're having fun and i want too aswell. i just want to scroll through my fucking page without seeing someone bitch about something. its so frustrating and irritating like JUST ENJOY THE FUCKING CONTENT THEYRE MAKING FOR YOU
here's the crazy thing, if you don't like it, stop fucking watching. its that simple. its that easy. seriously, if you don't something someone says. ignore it and block them
istg this fandom can be as toxic- if not more toxic then when i was in the fucking dsmp fandom at its peak and that is SAYING SOMETHING.
PLEASEEEEEUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH JUST SHUT UPPPP AAAAUTGGGUSHSUSJFUSJ PLEASEPRLADPELESEEREHEHEHEEEE
TL;DR
everyone needs to shut up about shit they don't like because i'm tired and drained from seeing everyone complain about everything
#yes this is about the life series#yes this is about hermitcraft#seriously it's so fucking draining#just let me like fanart without seeing someone complain about something i like#like its discouraging for me as a fanfic writer so i can't even IMAGINE how bad it is for the content creators#jfc dude#you guys are just fucking annoying most the time#and that goes to everyone acting like this#EVERYONE involved#like i'm a hater but i don't fucking post about it#like yall don't have friends you can yap too?#and if they don't like it when you hate them maybe it's a sign to STOP BEING A FUCKING HATER AND HAVE FUN#DAMN#sorry i'm so fucking irritating#i've seen so much shit today#ugh#ALSO#STOP MAINTAGGING SHIT#STOP MAINTAGGING SHIT YOURE HATING ON#LIKE WHO DOES THAT????#UGHHHHHHH#yall suck
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it feels like my fics keep flopping :)
#like what am I doing wrong lol#is the writing shit#it's so discouraging especially when I see moots with way more response
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lrb: that comment from a person saying they don't want to see colors on gifs reminded me how years ago there was some edgy loser made a post with screenshots of someone's colorful gifs and said how they don't like when gifs are colored like this. and the thing that angered me about this wasn't the post itself but seeing a few gifmakers who never put an actual coloring besides tiny bit of brightness/contrast, reblogging it and actually agreeing with that asshole :\
#personal#its honestly was and is so discouraging shit to see#and ofc non-gifmakers where reblogging that post making fun of the gifs like you cunts wouldn't be here if not gifs like these
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Thoughts on fannart of your ocs?
mmmm yeah! i think Yes
#this is a slippery slope because on one hand 👀#but on the other hand im so terrified ill get something and my first thought would be#[X] Would Not Fucking Say/Do That#ahbskjbasnjsadnaskmlsca#but also 🥺#idk i am just saying it now i Would love to see my guys#but. im also very protective of them. those are my special guys. my brain dudes.#the horror of being perceived...#vs the sheer delight of being Seen...#rambles from the bog#ANYWAY DONT LET THIS DISCOURAGE YOU I WOULD NOT SAY SHIT#i would sit there have a moment of Grief and then move on and delight over the art
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There is something that I can’t understand and will never understand about fandom “culture”
Why EVERYTHING (or a lot of things) need to be canon or acknowledged by the actors/directors/producers to be accepted by the fandom? In specific ships?
And why when a “ship” (two characters, really) have more screentime than others/other characters aren’t in the picture anymore, people take that as a victory as see their ship as more valid and “actually canon”? And mock/harass others for it?
Also there is this thing people have been doing a lot too: Thats calling everyone that doesn’t like the ship you like names (and also calling them terms that before actually meant something awful but nowadays can be said for simply tagging the incorrect ship in a fucking post)
Canon isn’t always the norm here kid. At least when it relates to ships and scenarios. (Bc if we’re talking about characterization… yes it needs to be canon in a sense or we’re writing/making ocs out of canon characters)
Most of the more popular ships will never be canon and have never been, especially the gay ones. (See Drarry, Narusasu, Frodo/Sam, Johnlock, etc, etc)
So why suddenly we care so much about what NEEDS to be canon or not?
Why people NEED to see their ships be canon so badly?
Sure, I can be seen as a hypocrite because Ive been talking about Stucky a lot in the canon and what happened in EG, but they actually did that themselves. The directors talked about gay characters, the actors talked about Stucky. So actually it isn’t something ludicrous or anything. (I’ve never thought they would actually make the ship canon -bc that would be a big problem for them “how can you make Cap America gay!” And shit- but I thought they would at least make them still be friends or friendly or acknowledge the “bromance” and they just killed the friendship in one scene with the most ooc shit ever). In fact, I’m more annoyed by that. They assassinated Steve’s character and Bucky’s progress.
Nevermind…
Why people fight so much about ships and use terms that shouldn’t be brought into stupid shit like this?
Fandoms are supposed to be fun and to have discussions (in good faith) about the canon. What we like and what we don’t like about it.
Besides, a lot of current media are about stuff that’s been remade over and over again. So they have a lot of adaptations and you can pick and choose too, if you want.
And if you don’t like the canon? Easy! Do analysis, criticize it, write fics, do fanart, do creative shit or simply ignore it! No one is forcing you to keep on watching the show or the stuff you now hate/cant stand. That’s what Im doing at least.
Sure, I criticize some people and movies a lot and get actually annoyed by the disrespect towards/assassination of some characters, but at the end of the day I can only shrug and say “it is what it is” and leave it at that. (Meaning not giving them money for the new stuff/not watching nor caring about it and only acknowledging the old things I actually care about and like)
But I don’t insult or disrespect other people in fandom because of it. And also I don’t harass the directors or actors either, ffs.
Idk, Ive always been on the sidelines of the stuff I follow, I’ve never been on the thick of fandoms so maybe thats why I don’t understand.
And I’ve also not seen so many crazy shit (the most crazy stuff Ive seen is people calling others racists for tagging a ship incorrectly and also others inflating the tag of a ship in ao3 so their ship would be “the most popular” with most fics, in that fandom) because I actually curate what I see. I don’t like a ship? I mute, if I can’t stand a person or a ship? I block em. Simple and easy.
I’ve always drawn stuff for myself, read fics and made headcanons. Only recently I’ve been sharing stuff more openly, so maybe it’s that.
Idk.
I’m just tired of seeing discourse and people fighting over this stuff.
#kinda personal#im really tired pf people fighting over ships#also the inflating of the tag in ao3 was a big problem bc most of those supposed works were a phrase written over and over again#it was the most petty pathetic shit ive seen#you like a ship? good do a fic or write headcanons#you dont like that another ship is more popular than your otp/the ship you like? DO MORE FICS OR ARTWORK OF IT#also… like in canon MCU Nat and Bruce were together kinda#but in some comics Nat is with Bucky#and so on and so forth#So a lot of ships can be canon in different media#Steve was supposed to be with Sharon but they didn’t flesh the ship and then used Peggy to stop us from shipping Stucky#in Mcu#But that will discourage me from shipping what I like? No.#my shipping tastes don’t depend on canon#im very particular in the ships I read content sometimes…#particular in the sense that I take a character and ship it with a lot of others#lmao#you can see me liking canon ships and then the most random ship in the same series/movie#Like Blaise Zabini x Harry Potter my beloved#or sometimes crossovers bc sometimes I need to read that shit#Jasper Withlock x Harry my other beloved#but how I said I don’t understand the need to fight or shame/antagonize others#and welp sometimes the fandom makes me despise or avoid a ship too bc of how they actually write and interact with em#like I see that ship tagged? not going to interect bye#and I leave it as that#simple and easy
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genuine question but is there any fandom where a character is well written by the majority. im thinking about fandom culture and the spread of frustration when people dont write characters well but. honestly in all the fandoms ive been in there's only like, a Select number of authors who i trust to write Well, let alone write Well AND In Character. character analysis and writing and getting inside characters' heads are all separate skills (all of which are trained by roleplaying fyi can CONFIRM playing pretend with your friends is good for you). there's been more than once where I've disagreed with an interpretation that others agreed with, and then I turned out wrong. or i turned out right. like it doesnt matter WHO is right it just matters that differences in character analysis exist, so even if you DO write well AND write in character, your in character is still going to be someone else's out of character
there's this sort of. vibe. that to play in the sandbox you Need to be able to make a castle, and if you can't make a castle then you shouldn't bother, and it completely dismisses the idea that youre in that sandbox to PLAY in the first place. there's this Weight of disappointing someone if you can't build something that they like, but that forgets that you aren't there to build them a castle. like, be KIND. if you disagree with someone then please make an effort to do so kindly. i dont give a shit about fandom discourse but there is a reason kids get removed from sandboxes if they keep throwing sand in people's eyes. but if they don't like your misshapen sand pile, then youre not obligated to change it. even if you yourself end up hating that same sand pile later- youre not building a legacy. youre playing. and sometimes the result of that play is out of character drivel. theres a reason there are so many authors and so few who i like to consistently read and thats because everyone is Fucking Around in their hobby space. hash tag brag or whatever but i can build castles. ive built several that im v proud of. ive also dug holes in the sand for fun and then tripped on them when trying to get up. I often dug a hole and then got up and fucking- whoops, its a castle now, and i didn't realize i'd made something to be proud of until after the fact. the whole time while creating shit i was Convinced it was bullshit that didn't make sense. and then other times i was Convinced it was bullshit and then i was Right and i can look back and go. huh. ew. but it doesn't matter what the end result was, because i had fun playing in the sandbox
this wasn't meant to turn into a ramble but i have Feelings about bad art and art that's badly perceived and how public perception can screw with your head and how making art youre proud of is fucking. it's so difficult!!! it's hard!! it's really fun, which is why i try to make it, but i promise you it is Okay to not tryhard creativity. even if you CAN, it's okay not to do it all the time. or ever, even. fuck around find out have fun etc
#NOT a discourse post i am musing out loud#there's discourse goign around the dash rn or i wouldnt mention it#but the past few weeks ive seen a lot of “DONT fucking mischaracterize my guy my fuckign god”#which is one of the most frustrating pet peeve there is#but i think a lot too about little baby me#fresh on her writing journey#and how discouraged i would be if someone pointed out the mistakes id made#i made a Lot of fuckups#and i also think about this one fic where one of the characters was INCREDIBLY out of character#me today would not be able to stomach reading it#but baby me was so ENCHANTED#and it introduced to me the concept that you dont always know the reason someone does something#and it made me read even more#and because of that i eventually found Expert Skill level fics#which introduced me to MANY little tricks and fidgets ive tried to implement#there were so so many reviews on that fic that called it shit or complained about the bad characterization#but a decade later i still think about it#there were several very corny mine/craft horror fics i read#which back in the day would be called cringe#and those were what inspired me to write my first horror fic and now im Enchanted by the whole genre#theres a lot of stuff i dont like to read but i like that other people are enjoying themselves#i dont know how to be succinct i hope my point is coming across well#this ties into my thing where fiction is for you first others later#here are my credentials: bb/h fan since before the elections (hi i was the guy who noticed his lack of armour post elections)#and a cross-fandom comment trend of people going 'woa i can see this happening in canon'#im not talking out my ass i genuinely think its more important to have fun than to write accurate characterization#which. is a more 'duh' and clarifying thing than everything else ive written#but ah well c'est la vie#also also just realized this could be interpreted like that- NOT an attack on people who complain about mischaracterization either lmao#i do that too w friends. this is to reassure people who put pressure on themselves to create things Well all the time
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it's so hard being a person who needs to be the best at everything when you are slightly below average at best at any given department
#i don't think ppl who tell me i'm good at x thing (that includes things like looks or voice etc btw) are lying or anything#but i do think they're biased and their love skews their perception of me. bc i mean. no one else can see it after all#and i hate that as a kid i was propped up as better than others bc it really did give me this complex while growing up lol#joining a gifted class and finding out i'm not actually particulary smart compared to them#failing auditions as an adult or messing up things i did get into#like this is why i don't like it when ppl say i have an impostor syndrome like noooo i literally do suck 😭#i'm not saying this in an 'i'm blind to my own abilities' way i'm just saying that compared to most people i am below average 😭#being better at a thing than the average person who. doesn't do the thing. doesn't mean much when i'm among the worst in those who do#and it's really discouraging from getting better at things too. bc i feel so inherently shitty at everything that it feels pointless#(esp given that i DID put years of effort into certain things yet i still suck or i lost my ability to do them with time)#so it's easier to not try. if i'm gonna be the worst anyway yknow? may as well save the effort and the heartache of trying and failing#(getting better is all about failing over and over yada yada ik all that shit i'm just not built to handle it. mentally)#vent#accidentally. bc i started rambling. bc i'm in some jealousy fueled rage rn sorry
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How many Kevin enthusiasts actually are there on this website? Cuz there's like 5 of yall I consistently see in my notes on Kevin posts, but I'm kinda curious what the actual head count is
#honkai impact#kevin kaslana#theres like two of you i know by username#I'm mostly curious because theres more Kevin stuff I want to make#but that shit takes time#and a month or so ago I spent well over 20 hours on a Kevin drawing and only like 10 people saw it#3 of which were irl friends i forced to reblog my work#and it was kinda discouraging#sometimes kevin posts get like 400 notes and others they get 2#so I'm trying to see if theres an actual market here of kevin enjoyers#cuz if there isnt ill probably just take my kevin ideas and turn it into an oc#actually just realized and i was typing this that Kevin and my main oc Ashe have a fair amount in common :/#coincidence or do I just have a type of character I'm drawn to
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mannnn I’m thinking of just turning into a smut blog 👩🏾🦯
#like no shade but#my fluff don’t even be cracking 1K#not be ungrateful#because I am grateful for my numbers and shit#but seeing literally fresh new blogs get 2K in like 2 months is so discouraging
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If you’re a star wars fan here from twitter,
hi, welcome, please be specific with your tags and don’t tag characters in your post if they aren’t in your post
thanks
#we do not like it#it will not work to bring you more of an austience it will actively discourage tumblrinas from enjoying your pos#you may even be reported#be specific with your tags#more tags will not make you more friends#captain gregor or whatever other nieche character lover will instead come to your hiuse and murder you becauze you keep putting codywan shit#in their tags#this is not a subtweet it’s just an example#I was going to put this in the starwars blog but then I didnmt want to be a hypocrite so newbies probably won’t even see this lmao#*tag#sorry for my typing it’s been a bad wwek for fine motor control
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I had an okay day, i was excited for the barbie movie and also made pretty decent money this week, then i opened instagram and saw another of my classmates graduated....... Now i feel terrible lol
I wonder when will it be my turn?? I've had three exams left since february and i can't seem to see the end of this constant struggle. I have to balance uni, work with kids and a not-so-great situation at home with my family. I gave up so much of my personal time, gave up all the time i dedicated to drawing, i've become numb to so many things and it's still not enough. These three projects + my thesis just keep taking everything from me and i'm so tired. I've been living this non-life since the pandemic, i see all my friends either graduate or work successful jobs, going abroad, doing something valuable with their life while i'm stuck here. It's like things never get better for me and it's so unfair?? All i ask from life is to leave this place and have my own money and time to heal from all of this and i keep telling myself my time is coming but when is it coming exactly??? I'M TIRED DAMN 😭
#i know we all have our own paces and she had a lot of advantages compared to me#but my brain keeps telling me it's not true and the reason im so behind everyone else it's because i don't put enough effort#and i'm in deep in my pms so it's not really the best for me to see this stuff rn#everything is so uncertain and i don't eben know when i'll get to graduate it's so discouraging#help sorry for bringing so much positivity to your timelines#i just needed to let this all out before i spiral ig 😭😭 i'm okay i promise!! just tired and my period is late btw and i hate ittttt#period adds that extra layer of shit to everything 🤩🤩
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I saw someone post this on facebook and no. If you actually want to improve at anything, stop bad habits, develop good habits, build a skill, you need to stay 80-90% in your comfort zone and 10-20% out. You're not going to be able to make any lasting sustainable changes in your life if you try to do it all at once. Sticking mostly to your comfort zone while pushing a small amount consistently is the thing that works. This is true in art, trying to eat better, trying to get more fitness, whatever. It's the one thing that has taken me from a loser who doesn't know how to draw, cook, or speak multiple languages to a loser who cooks almost daily, draws a lot, and is bilingual. Stay firmly in your comfort zone and expand that comfort zone by pushing yourself just a little bit at a time, and just with 1 or 2 new challenges at a time. Tbh staying 99% in your comfort zone and 1% out has a far better outcome than trying to do it all at once. Change requires persistent effort that you can actually physically and emotionally maintain.
#I hate seeing shit like this because it's so incredibly discouraging#people get it in their heads that they just can't make big changes in your life but that's not true#the way to make big changes is to make tiny changes over long periods of time and to be mostly comfortable while doing it
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