#it’s really a matter of do I have time this week to do the next set—!

[hjpsdiary]

slytherin boy's headcons (them as ur bf <3)

theodore nott as your boyfriend :

• he’s the definition of quiet but observant; he notices every little thing about you, from your favorite snacks to how you fidget when nervous.

• doesn’t talk much, but when he does, it’s meaningful—his compliments feel rare and precious.

• surprisingly affectionate in private; he’ll always find excuses to brush his fingers against yours or pull you close when no one’s looking.

• reads a lot and will casually leave books he thinks you’d like in your bag or on your desk.

• fiercely protective but subtle about it—he’ll silently step in when someone’s bothering you or shoot a glare that makes them back off immediately.

• has a sarcastic sense of humor that comes out more as he gets comfortable with you; you’re one of the few people who ever see him smile.

• remembers everything you say, even the small things, and will surprise you by acting on it weeks later.

• not big on grand romantic gestures but makes up for it with small, thoughtful actions, like brewing your favorite tea or saving you a seat in class.

• loves stargazing; it’s one of the rare times he really opens up, sharing his thoughts and dreams while lying next to you under the stars.

• isn’t the best with words when expressing feelings but tries to write them down for you in short, heartfelt notes.

• values trust above all else; if you’re patient with him, he’ll let his walls down completely and be endlessly loyal.

• his love language is acts of service—he’ll carry your books, fix your broken quill, or help you study without you even asking.

• secretly adores when you wear something of his, like a sweater or scarf, and won’t say it outright but will be internally smug all day.

• has a soft, calming presence that makes you feel safe and at ease no matter what’s going on around you.

• he’s not perfect, sometimes retreating into himself when overwhelmed, but he’ll always come back to you, knowing you’re his anchor.

mattheo riddle as your boyfriend :

• the ultimate bad boy with a soft spot only for you; he’s tough around others but absolutely melts when it comes to you.

• constantly teases you but gets genuinely offended if you don’t fire back—he loves the banter.

• incredibly protective to the point where he’ll square up with anyone who even looks at you the wrong way.

• thrives on physical touch—his arm is always slung around your shoulders, hand in your back pocket, or fingers intertwined with yours.

• has a devilish grin that he only uses to fluster you because he knows it works every single time.

• somehow knows exactly where you are at all times, and not in a creepy way—just always shows up when you need him.

• calls you ridiculous nicknames like “princess,” “trouble,” or “love,” depending on his mood.

• super possessive but not in a toxic way—he just loves reminding people that you’re his.

• absolutely hates when you’re upset with him and will go out of his way to apologize, even if it means swallowing his pride.

• smokes casually and offers you his jacket when it’s cold, the scent of him lingering on it for hours after.

• loves pulling you into trouble with him, whether it’s sneaking out after curfew or pranking someone, but always makes sure you’re safe.

• surprisingly intellectual—he can talk about dark magic theories for hours and gets a kick out of teaching you forbidden spells.

• his temper can flare up, especially when someone crosses you, but he always calms down when you’re around.

• absolutely adores seeing you in his clothes; he’ll smirk and say, “Looks better on you, anyway.”

• deeply loyal—once you have his heart, there’s no getting rid of him, and he’ll do anything to keep you happy.

• loves late-night conversations, where he gets a little vulnerable and tells you about his past and his fears.

• has a soft side he rarely shows, but when he does, it’s for you—whether it’s stroking your hair when you’re stressed or mumbling “I love you” when he thinks you’re asleep.

• he’s chaos personified, but somehow, with you, he feels like he’s finally found a bit of peace.

lorenzo birkshire as your boyfriend:

• he’s the smooth talker who flirts like it’s second nature, but with you, it’s genuine—he means every word.

• loves to make you laugh; he’ll go out of his way to crack jokes, pull silly faces, or do over-the-top impressions just to see you smile.

• low-key a hopeless romantic; he’ll surprise you with little handwritten notes, flowers he “found,” or surprise dates in secret spots.

• absolutely loves PDA—he’s the type to kiss your cheek in front of everyone or hold your hand just to let people know you’re his.

• he’s fiercely loyal, and anyone who tries to mess with you instantly regrets it; he’ll defend you without hesitation.

• the type to whisper in your ear during class, making you both laugh quietly, even if it earns him a detention.

• incredibly charming but gets adorably flustered when you flirt back or catch him off guard.

• loves spoiling you in small ways—buying you your favorite sweets, carrying your bag, or sneaking you an extra butterbeer during Hogsmeade trips.

• surprisingly good at comforting you when you’re upset; he’ll listen, wrap you in a warm hug, and crack just the right joke to lighten the mood.

• lives for the banter between you two; he thinks it’s hilarious when you try to outwit him, even if you win.

• would give you his scarf or cloak without hesitation if you were cold and wouldn’t stop teasing you about looking “adorable” in it.

• the type to plan spontaneous adventures, dragging you out of bed to sneak around the castle or explore forbidden areas.

• he’s a mix of chaotic energy and soft affection, always knowing when to be playful and when to be serious.

• low-key brags about you to his friends but pretends he’s “too cool” to care when they tease him about how smitten he is.

• loves running his fingers through your hair absentmindedly, especially when you’re sitting close or leaning against him.

• insists on being your biggest cheerleader, hyping you up before exams, Quidditch matches, or even small challenges.

• gets jealous easily but tries to play it off—he’s terrible at hiding it, though, and ends up pouting until you reassure him.

• he’s the kind of boyfriend who’s both your partner in crime and your safe place, balancing wild fun with genuine love.

draco malfoy as your boyfreind:

• starts off guarded, but once he lets his walls down, he’s completely devoted to you.

• the type to act all cool and aloof in public but secretly loves holding your hand or brushing his fingers against yours.

• buys you extravagant gifts, not because he’s trying to show off, but because it’s how he expresses his love—jewelry, rare books, or even something sentimental he knows you’ll cherish.

• incredibly protective; he’d go out of his way to make sure you’re safe and comfortable, whether that means intimidating someone who’s bothering you or walking you to every class.

• struggles to express his emotions verbally but makes up for it through his actions—he’ll always be there when you need him, no questions asked.

• low-key thrives on your praise; hearing you say you’re proud of him or appreciate him makes him feel on top of the world.

• gets jealous easily and tries to play it cool, but his little snarky comments give him away every time.

• loves spoiling you in subtle ways, like slipping your favorite dessert onto your plate at dinner or reserving the best spot in the library for you.

• softens dramatically when he’s with you; he goes from sharp sarcasm to quiet vulnerability in your presence.

• late-night talks are where he truly opens up, sharing his fears, insecurities, and dreams he’s too afraid to admit to anyone else.

• secretly loves when you mess with his perfectly styled hair, even though he’ll complain about it every time.

• will drape his scarf or coat around your shoulders if you’re cold, muttering something about how he “can’t have you freezing to death.”

• loves hearing you laugh; he’ll go out of his way to say something witty just to see you smile, even if it’s at his expense.

• incredibly attentive to your needs—he notices when you’re tired, stressed, or upset, and does everything he can to help.

• he’s not big on public displays of affection but will always find little ways to show you’re his, like resting his hand on your lower back or standing close enough for your shoulders to touch.

• gets flustered when you compliment him, especially if you call him handsome or clever—he’ll roll his eyes, but his pink cheeks give him away.

• he’s not perfect and sometimes lashes out when he’s stressed, but he’s quick to apologize and make it up to you.

• when he says he loves you, it’s rare but deeply meaningful—you can tell he means it with everything he has.

• despite his flaws, he’s fiercely loyal, endlessly protective, and wholly yours, doing everything he can to make you feel loved.

blaise zabini as your boyfriend:

• effortlessly smooth and confident, he doesn’t even need to try to charm you—it’s just who he is.

• the king of subtle but meaningful gestures, like holding doors open for you, pulling out your chair, or placing his hand on your lower back to guide you through a crowd.

• loves to spoil you, but in a classy, understated way—think fine chocolate, rare books, or spontaneous weekend getaways.

• very private about your relationship; he keeps most of his affection behind closed doors but isn’t shy about letting people know you’re his.

• gives the best advice; he’s incredibly perceptive and always knows the right thing to say when you’re stressed or upset.

• he’s not big on loud, over-the-top displays of affection, but his actions always show how much he cares—he’s the type to quietly take care of things before you even ask.

• loves watching you talk about something you’re passionate about; he’ll rest his chin in his hand and just admire you with a soft smile.

• has a wicked sense of humor and loves teasing you, but it’s always playful and never hurtful—he secretly loves when you tease him back.

• he’s the epitome of cool, calm, and collected, but you’re the only one who can fluster him when you catch him off guard with affection or a well-timed compliment.

• ridiculously good at remembering details about you, like your favorite drink, your childhood stories, or even the exact shade of your favorite lipstick.

• loves to keep you close—whether it’s casually draping an arm over your shoulder or pulling you into his lap when you’re alone together.

• fiercely protective but subtle about it; one look from him is enough to make anyone second-guess bothering you.

• will casually drop compliments about you in conversations with his friends, but if they tease him about being soft, he just smirks and doesn’t deny it.

• he’s a fantastic listener and always makes you feel like you’re the most important person in the room when you’re talking to him.

• takes immense pride in how you carry yourself and always reminds you of how incredible you are, even if you don’t see it yourself.

• adores dressing up for dates with you and insists on coordinating outfits so you both look effortlessly elegant together.

• late nights with him often involve deep conversations, a bottle of wine, and a lot of soft touches as he shares pieces of himself he doesn’t show anyone else.

• has a surprisingly tender side—he’ll hold you close when you’re feeling down, whispering reassurances that everything will be okay.

• he’s all about balance: the perfect mix of suave, playful, and deeply caring, making you feel like the luckiest person in the world.

[bosbas]

Chapter 4: uh oh, I'm fallin' in love

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: anthony bridgerton x fem!daphne's best friend!reader WC: 2.3k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, idiots in love, anthony being a big softie, mostly fluff, i still ship y/n and daphne tbh

Summary: At her wit's end after Anthony's multiple attempts to scare away her suitors, Daphne employs her best friend's help to keep her brother distracted while she tries to find a husband. It's a foolproof plan, except it ends up working a little too well. (or, a Bridgerton version of The Taming of the Shrew/10 things I hate about you)

June 16, 1812 - “How’s Mr Norwood?” you asked Daphne, sitting on the couch next to her in the Bridgertons’ tea room, her legs on your lap as the rain steadily poured outside.

Your best friend and her hopefully-husband-to-be had been looking particularly cozy as of late, and you knew that you had played no small part in making that happen. Unfortunately, Daphne’s happiness was often overshadowed by the small pang of guilt you felt every time you had a particularly lovely afternoon with her oldest brother.

“Oh, he’s lovely. I do think he’ll propose in the next few weeks,” she said excitedly, her legs dancing excitedly on your lap.

You squealed in response, absolutely elated at the prospect of seeing your best friend in a wedding gown before the end of the season. It’s practically all she’d dreamed about, and you couldn’t believe the time was so close.

“Where will you live? After you marry, I mean,” you asked, twirling a lock of your hair around your index finger. “If I have to travel to another country to see you, I’ll riot.”

Daphne paused, unsure. “We haven’t particularly discussed it. I think his family has a home a few hours away, but surely his older brother will inherit that…”

You sat up straight, realizing this was a sensitive subject. “That’s quite alright, I’m sure your dowry will be more than enough for a simple estate somewhere nearby,” you reassured, patting her legs comfortingly.

If they were truly in love, it wouldn’t matter how small or large their home was. But Daphne only hummed in response, looking out distractedly at the raindrops hitting the window.

Deciding not to press your best friend and potentially cause her more distress, you changed the subject.

Playing with the hem of Daphne’s dress, you said nonchalantly, “I suppose I’ll end things with Anthony right before Phillip proposes. There’s no real point in continuing the façade if Phillip has to ask Anthony for your hand anyway, so it’s not like we can keep going longer than that.”

Daphne narrowed her eyes at you, smiling slightly. “Really? I thought you two were having a lovely time during your courtship.”

You paused, your hand going still for a moment. “Well, of course. We get along quite well. But it’s not real, Daphne. I don’t really have feelings for him and he doesn’t really have any intention of marrying me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure!” you laughed at the absurdity of your best friend’s suggestion, sounding a bit panicked. “I couldn’t truly be interested in him!”

Just then, you heard the front door open and heavy footsteps coming down the hallway.

Recognizing her brother’s footfalls, Daphne called out, “Anthony, I didn’t know you’d gone out riding. It’s absolutely pouring outside!”

“I can’t believe it actually rained,” he groaned, his voice carrying across the hall. “I thought Colin just said that to be a nuisance.”

He peeked his head into the tea room, looking completely disheveled from what you could only assume was a hectic horse ride. His hair was soaking and stuck to his forehead, his sleeves were dripping water onto the carpet, and he was shivering slightly from the cold. And yet, you thought to yourself, he still looked more handsome than any other man in the ton.

“Y/N!” he yelped as his eyes fell on you, sitting comfortably on his couch as Daphne had her legs propped on your lap. “I didn’t expect to see you here. I’m sorry, I would’ve looked more… presentable. Or at least dry.”

It was the oddest thing, he suddenly seemed impossibly shy. You only laughed and shook your head, waving off his apology.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” you smiled, recalling how reckless young Anthony was when it came to riding.

Anthony crinkled his nose, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s different now, though,” he insisted, still sounding out of sorts. “I can head upstairs quickly to make myself presentable and greet you properly.”

“No, that’s quite alright,” you insisted, finding Anthony entirely too endearing at the moment. “I should probably head home anyway; I’ve been here the better part of the afternoon.”

“Let me walk you home at least,” pleaded the positively soaking man at the entrance of the room. “Or even just call a carriage.”

Your home was only a few minutes’ walk away, and you were usually happy to do it on your own. However, looking out the window you realized it probably wasn’t the best idea to head home in this weather.

“Very well then,” you conceded, finding it impossible to say no to Anthony.

“Alright, give me five minutes, then. Just let me change out of these clothes and I’ll be back,” he yelled over his shoulder, already out the door and rushing upstairs.

“So it's all just pretend, then?” asked Daphne smugly once Anthony was gone.

“Oh, shush,” you grumbled, shoving her legs off you.

But Daphne only laughed gleefully, a knowing twinkle in her eye.

---

June 19, 1812 - Anthony had gone into town on a fine Friday afternoon in search of a new pair of hunting boots when he spotted you some distance away. You were accompanied by your lady’s maid, and you seemed to be leaving the modiste.

Apart from noticing how stunning you looked, even in a simple day dress, Anthony realized a few things.

First, you were far enough away from him and positioned in such a manner that there was no chance that you would see him. He could easily just go on with his day, quickly find the pair of hunting boots he came for, and make his way home.

However, the second thing he took note of is that a gentleman such as himself would always go out of his way to greet the lady he was courting. Perhaps it was time to shift away from the tiring rake act he so often put on and act like a Bridgerton.

And finally, he noted that, in reality, he could come back for a pair of hunting boots at any time. However, he couldn’t unexpectedly run into you every day.

So, with all this in mind, Anthony determinedly shouted your name. When you didn’t hear him and kept walking, he yelled your lady’s maid’s name, who turned around to look at who had called for her. Spotting Anthony through the crowd of summer shoppers, your lady’s maid tugged at your sleeve, turning you around so you could see him.

“Oh, Anthony, what a surprise!” you called, unable to help the bright smile that lit up your face.

How gentlemanly, you thought, for Anthony to go out of his way to say hello. Perhaps he had left behind his rakish ways.

“It’s rather hot today, isn’t it?” said Anthony as he reached you, leaning down to kiss your hand in greeting. “What do you say about going across the street and enjoying some tea?”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. Greeting you unexpectedly and asking to spend time together? This was quite unusual indeed.

“Is there something you wanted to talk about?” you said, somewhat nervously. Had Daphne somehow let her plan slip? “We were due to see each other this evening at the Featherington ball."

Anthony laughed, enjoying your confusion. It felt quite good to be a gentleman, he thought. “Not at all, I just thought I’d take advantage of the fact that I saw you. I’m not particularly keen on depriving myself of the company of a wonderful lady such as yourself.”

You felt your face growing hot, completely floored by how lovely Anthony was being. It was like his usual charm turned up by a factor of ten.

Looking over at your lady’s maid, you raised your eyebrows to ask if it was alright with her if your plans were derailed.

“Nowhere else to be,” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Perfect, then, let’s go,” you smiled at Anthony.

Hooking your hand into the crook of his arm, you couldn’t help but feel a flutter in your stomach. Bit by bit, you were realizing you were in far over your head. So far you couldn’t even see the ground anymore. Anthony was turning out to be completely unexpected.

And though you were practically giddy every time you saw him now, you were also fighting to bury the uncomfortable thought that you might have made a grave mistake trying to mastermind your courtship with him.

---

June 23, 1812 - “Well, I suppose I should get going,” Anthony said to Colin, getting up from his chair as he looked at his watch. “Y/N will surely be expecting me, seeing as how we went to a ball yesterday evening.”

Upon hearing Colin snickering in response, the eldest Bridgerton shot his younger brother an annoyed look.

“Do you think this is funny? Wait a few years and you’ll be doing this, too,” Anthony scoffed.

“It’s not that,” said Colin, still chuckling to himself. “It’s just that she’s been here since this morning. I ran into her and Daphne a few hours ago.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” asked Anthony in disbelief.

Colin shrugged. “I thought you’d surely seen her. You’re the one courting her, after all.”

“Why didn’t she ask for me?” grumbled Anthony, mostly to himself. “Well, even more reason to go see her now. Goodbye, Colin. I would say it was a pleasure speaking with you but based on the last two minutes I don’t particularly think it was.”

In response, Colin half-heartedly crumpled up a piece of paper and threw it at his brother. “Say hello to your wife for me,” he teased, knowing Anthony’s aversion to marriage.

But his jab was only met with a slammed door. Anthony was too focused on finding you.

How on earth had he not noticed your presence in his home the whole day? To be fair, before you started courting, you spent copious amounts of time at the Bridgerton residence, with or without Daphne, and he wasn’t always aware until after the fact.

You had practically already been a part of the family, but it felt different now. He felt panicked that he hadn’t already greeted you, and he was worried you would hold it against him.

Rushing down the stairs, he ran into Daphne, who was shuffling through a stack of letters in the foyer.

“Who are you expecting correspondence from? A suitor?” he questioned suspiciously.

“She’s in the sitting room,” answered Daphne curtly.

Without a second thought, Anthony dashed across the hall, bursting into the sitting room.

There, he found you and Hyacinth sitting next to each other on the pianoforte bench. Your hands were on hers as you guided her nine-year-old fingers over the keys to form a melody. Startled, you dropped Hyacinth’s hands and turned to look over at the doorway.

“Is something the matter, dear?” asked Violet calmly from the other side of the room, quite used to the antics of her eight children.

“No, no- not at all,” gulped Anthony, not expecting to have seen you with his youngest sister. “I just heard Y/N had stopped by, is all.”

“That’s kind of you,” you said, smiling softly at the man you were courting. “Hyacinth seems to be a natural at the pianoforte.”

“Better than Gregory anyway,” said Hyacinth haughtily, eliciting a hearty laugh from you.

“Well, run along, then, Hyacinth,” urged Anthony. “I believe I should like to speak with Y/N.”

Hyacinth groaned, “She’s not yours Anthony. I believe I should like to stay," she said petulantly. "I was having such a lovely time with Y/N before you interrupted.”

She hugged you tight, lest Anthony tried to make her leave by force. Laughing, you hugged her back, patting her head soothingly.

“No one’s making you leave, Hyacinth,” you shot Anthony a playful glare. “I apologize for not finding you earlier, Gregory has just learned how to play chess and wanted to play a match. And then Hyacinth came in and thought it quite unfair that I had spent such a long time with Gregory and not her. And then, well, you know how they are…” you explained, your voice full of fondness for the youngest Bridgertons.

“Oh, do I,” said Anthony, walking over to ruffle Hyacinth’s hair affectionately. “Who won the chess match?”

Resigning himself to the fact that his little sister wouldn’t leave, Anthony made himself comfortable on the couch closest to you. And though he was hoping to spend some time alone– well, chaperoned– with you, he couldn’t deny that his heart was doing all sorts of gymnastics in his chest at the thought of the care you had for his siblings.

“We each won one and the third was a stalemate,” you responded, winking at Anthony and running your fingers through Hyacinth’s hair. “He’s quite good.”

“I want to learn how to play chess,” whined Hyacinth, detesting the fact that you and Gregory shared something she couldn’t join in on.

“I can teach you next time I stop by,” you promised, smiling fondly at her. “It’s quite a fun game, once you understand the rules.”

And at that very moment, Anthony knew he loved you. It had happened slowly, and then quite suddenly he was extremely aware of it. Much like you had made your way into the Bridgertons’ lives, you had made your way into his heart.

He knew he would be a fool not to see it. All he ever wanted was to take care of his family, and seeing you feel the same way was doing all sorts of things to his heart that he found impossible to ignore. You cared so deeply about his family, and it was difficult not to imagine the pair of you having a child of your own.

Anthony had decided. This was the first and last courtship he would ever have. He was falling faster than he could imagine, and he didn't particularly want to do anything to stop it. 

—

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[asarigg]

Inside the Character's Mind: Part 6

CHILDHOOD. SLY AND KOUJAKU. THE AVOIDANT BEHAVIOR: part 3

As if all that wasn’t already enough, at the end of the Re:connect, this happens. Aoba thinks to himself that this is not what Koujaku wanted, as much as Sly wants to think that it is, that he’s in the right. As if what he has done has helped the Koujaku inside, the one who’s like him, the true Koujaku, to come out. As if they could be free inside that cell.

Koujaku reacts to Aoba’s thoughts. Sly thinks for a moment that it’s his imagination, but when Aoba repeats his thoughts, Koujaku says his name. Koujaku, who despite not having articulated a single word all this time, weeks, months, says his name as soon as Aoba “speaks”, that’s what I’m talking about when I mention their spiritual connection, that’s how strong it is. It happening after such a different sex scene, where neither of them can say no, nor show any kind of rejection, is just a reminder that they are both locked away, suffering, and that they will stay there watching this happen day after day until the day they die, not being able to see, or touch, or call each other’s names, or say “I love you” or anything they once wanted to say. They can only just watch each other wither away.

These thoughts of “This isn’t what Koujaku wanted” are very interesting because just like Sly thought, Koujaku really wanted Aoba to accept and love him. But the last thing he wants is having Aoba reciprocate him just because that’s what Koujaku wants. He’d rather be rejected, and even die in the extreme case of the situation hurting Aoba, than having him living something he doesn’t really want, that he doesn’t feel in his heart. Giving himself to Koujaku letting him do whatever he wants without thinking twice, without thinking about his own wishes. A life that doesn’t respect Aoba’s wishes is a nightmare for him. Just like he says in the confession scene “All I can remember is that I didn’t want to touch you like that”.

I mentioned that they don’t treat the tattoo as something that changed Koujaku, but as someone else inside his mind. When Sly appears before him, Koujaku immediately knows that he’s not Aoba, but has a hard time believing it, because physically he’s the same but white. He doesn’t know what’s going on, he can’t process it, but he knows. And the thoughts that tell him that the man in front of him is not Aoba are in red, like someone else’s, with some lowercase and some uppercase, growing more intense as the madness and anger of his tattoo reflects through. Doesn’t it remind you of how Sly’s thoughts appeared in the middle of the screen when Aoba was in charge?

Sometimes I wonder what Sly’s real intention was here. In theory he wants to break Koujaku and bring out the beast because that’s the part of Koujaku that he sees himself reflected in, that destructive entity, his darkest, true side, his pure animal instinct. Exactly what Sly is.

But he still tells the sane Koujaku that he loves him and wants to convince him that he’s Aoba. If that had worked then what would he do next? Because he truly believes that’s what he wanted to hear, and when the narration returns to his point of view he tells us that his love for Koujaku is true. Obviously locked in a cell it would be difficult for anyone to believe him, and Sly wouldn’t get him out of there anyway when he wants to keep Koujaku for himself. But then why does he keep trying to convince him, over and over again, even when Koujaku still doesn’t recognize him as Aoba any time he wakes up? Would he have been satisfied with a sane Koujaku, with those restrictions he hates, just because he accepted his words? It’s only when he sees that Koujaku won’t buy it, no matter what he tells him, that he changes his strategy.

And it’s in this scene that we see Koujaku in control for the last time, and again the last thing he says before losing his mind is Aoba’s name. This ending makes us see how Koujaku once again enters a cycle of abuse. He has gone from being his father’s slave, to Ryuuhou’s, and now Sly’s, and he will probably never get out of that cell alive. He no longer has prayer beads protecting him, only chains imprisoning him.

Sly is aware of what he has done, and he believes that since he has destroyed Koujaku’s consciousness/spirit, it’s only fair that he is the one to destroy his body, not only fair but it even seems like an attractive idea, to die at his hands (Sly try not to be Ryuuhou challenge). I really like this dialogue where Sly tells Koujaku that he can tear off his flesh if he wants, on the condition that he stays. Staying with him, a reflection of his desire to feel loved, accepted, after so many years of abandonment. After hearing Koujaku speak back to Aoba, it must feel like a punch to the stomach to think for a moment that he’s wrong with what he’s chosen for the two of them, to think that Koujaku doesn’t really love him.

Having him locked in a cage somehow is perfect to prevent the slightest chance of Koujaku walking away, as well as keeping him in this state, unable to speak, unable to think, unable to reject him. It’s because of these things that I usually think that at least at the beginning the relationship with Koujaku in a good ending would be quite turbulent. He would like to flirt with Koujaku, but when he realizes that he really feels love for him, he feels vulnerable, weak, and needs to protect himself because the people who were supposed to always be with him and protect him, abandoned him. And Koujaku somehow “abandoned” him once too. So before exposing himself to that, he would rather push Koujaku away. Sly would always come back to him, because as much as he wants to walk away he can’t, he needs Koujaku to stay by his side. It doesn’t matter if it’s love or hate, Sly will take it because it’s intense, real and raw.

Fun fact: Sly and Beast Koujaku both have golden eyes, when they “transform”. Everyone has those three sides of their conscience but Aoba’s just have a distinct personality and identity each, which I think might lead to thinking that beast Koujaku might have a personality of his own. I think he’s somewhere in between, he’s obviously not like them, but he’s definitely his own entity. Like some kind of natural force, like rain, wind, the energy of the cosmos, possessing him, something more abstract than a spirit or god, which we usually see as human or animal-like appearance wise.

The first thing that strikes us when we see Aoba is that his design radically changes. When Sly takes control of his body it’s not like he suffers any physical changes, besides the shine of his eyes, however here he turns completely white. The only time we see something like that happen is when we see the true forms of Sei and Aoba, but those black marks don’t appear. This is what makes me wonder if the white color has something to do with those forms, as if it were some kind of symbolism of Sly “breaking free” and being himself, without restrictions, without Reason, but they don’t add the black marks to not spoil it, or because it looks like shit with the design, or because it simply has nothing to do with that.

The white color is the color of death, mourning, the color with which the deceased are dressed. A sterile color, without impurities, highly related to the spiritual world. Many white flowers are commonly used in funerals, usually Buddhist, such as the white chrysanthemum, used for its meaning of truth and sincerity. Aoba wears a white kimono and also gives one to Koujaku. These traditional elements could be there just to remember Koujaku but nothing in this document could ever be simple of course.

The hair of a dead person is considered to turn white after a certain period of time, meaning that the hair is no longer a source of impurities, it can't be possessed by an evil spirit, and can be transported beyond the border that marks the separation between the sacred realm of the dead and the ordinary world of the living.

His skin, his characteristic blue hair, his eyes and his clothes turn completely white because at this point Aoba is no longer there. Not in a literal sense, of course, but in a figurative sense, Aoba is dead. And this is basically the same thing that happens with Koujaku. They are both reborn, destroyed, spiritually dying so that something else can be created, the ID, the instinct of destruction, the two beasts freed from the bodies that held them prisoners.

His clothes in general resemble those of a Miko, with a more “fantastical” and sexualized appearance. This post talks about it as well. Again it’s a reference to the spiritual realm, their religious side and how Aoba/Sly is an object of devotion, of how Aoba is somewhat a channeler for Koujaku. Just like there are rituals that call the gods to our world, like I’ve said in the section about hair, which serves as a connection with gods, Aoba is the only thing that connects Koujaku with this world, the only reason why he’s still alive.

[leathfaic]

There is so much content with RSD Soap out there that it got me thinking - what if he was really the absolute opposite?

Yeah he likes attention - everyone does to a degree, but he really doesn't need it. Can be alone with himself for weeks on end and not feel the worse for it.

But because of the way he is - outgoing, engaging, easy to like - people often think he can't possibly do without. Not realising he's so easy to be around and talk to because of how confident he is to be just with himself.

What if we get the usual snippy comment from Ghost, but instead of withdrawing into himself out of hurt, Soap just shrugs and goes "Fine, Ah'll shut up, ye see how ye like that.", turns around and leaves.

And it's Ghost who fucking suffers. Not because he's got RSD or anything either. No.

Because Soap is his friend and he doesn't have many of those. Well he's also his occasional, what are they actually? One night stands? Friends with benefits?

He probably decides it doesn't matter because he can deal with being horny. That really isn't the issue here. The issue is the empty space at his six, a presence he suddenly learnt he took much too granted.

Because Ghost is the one who feels a pang of hurt every time he sees Soap hanging out with Gaz or Price, when he notices he wasn't invited to the pub night. Because it's always Soap who invites him. Who thinks of him.

And when Soap and Gaz get sent on a mission he gets hilariously drunk after having a nightmare that Soap isn't going to come home. That their last interaction was Soap telling him to see how he liked being alone again.

He'll agonise over it in his room all night on his own. Because Ghost doesn't get help. Except for Soap. Who he can't go to.

Maybe he slinks around in the morning to Prices office, inquiring how the sergeants are doing. Thinks he's slick.

Price just telling him "You know if you got over yourself he'd take you back without even an apology. Which you owe him, by the way, whatever you did."

And Ghost is bound to fucking hate that call out, especially because he knows that Price is right.

He's agonising over it for like three more weeks before he finally caves and just slinks up and falls in place next to Soap on base somewhere.

And Soap just turns to him and smiles "Yer an idiot Lt."

And Ghost just goes, "I know." relieved as hell because he can hear by the tone of Soap's voice that they are okay.

[genericpuff]

Hello! I'm someone with autism (and I'm suspecting ADHD too) who's planning multiple projects. Do you have any advice when it comes to overthinking a lot about decisions on a project? Be it the first step, planning, questioning if you're moving too fast, etc?

ouuuu I think the biggest thing I struggle with personally is just like... the overbearing weight of expectation that isn't necessarily even there. Like, expectation to do everything right all the time, to never make mistakes, to never fall through on promises, to never break any 'rules' (real or imaginary) and most of all, for everything I do to matter in some big, recognizable, memorable way - but the steps to that goal aren't defined, I just know what the goal looks like, with no clear path as to how to get there, and so it often results in me aiming at my own "best guess" and then beating myself up for not hitting the target LOL which is completely unfair to myself and my own work!

What I try to regularly remind myself of is that I am one person, who is only capable of what one person should reasonably be able to accomplish on their own, no matter how much my auDHD tries to convince me otherwise that I "should" be able to handle more than what's reasonable. And in that same sense, there isn't any more pressure on me to put out something perfect than there would be on any other person. I am not Atlas carrying the fate of the greatest work known to mankind on my shoulders - I'm a chronically online dweeb making stuff that's interesting to themselves and sharing it in the hopes that even just one other person will like it too. That isn't a diss on myself, that's me embracing what I am so that I can keep doing it better and more confidently each time.

Though I don't know if this exactly applies to you, I'm gonna say it just in case: I know when it comes to balancing multiple projects, it can be hard not to go "oh well I SHOULD be working on xyz!" but at the end of the day, you're not a failure for preferring to work on something else or needing space from projects that used to thrill you and have now become monotonous. In fact, it turns out that's how it is for most neurotypical people too! I know they make a lot of shit look easy, but even they have shit they loathe doing - they just don't have to deal with the unique hurdles of being neurodivergent.

Always remember to set boundaries with yourself and your work. Remember, just because you're really excited to work on something, doesn't mean you have to work on it all the time. I've learned to appreciate those moments when I'm stuck doing my day job and I'm excited to get home and work on my passion project, because it means I can actually look forward to it and it'll feel all the more rewarding when I finally get to do it! Pushing yourself too hard to fulfill that excitement all at once right off the bat often just means you're gonna spend it all way too quick, and that won't feel good because then you'll be left wondering where all the love went.

Set little goals for yourself. Stuff that's manageable and achievable within a reasonable amount of time. I know we tend to dive into thinking huge right off the bat, because that's what's exciting to us, but when it comes time to actually do the work, those smaller goals can keep us moving forward far better than the big, far off, ambiguous goal hiding somewhere off in the horizon. While it's good to plan ahead, not setting smaller milestones for yourself can burn you out faster because it's really hard to work towards an "end goal" that might be too far away for us to even conceptualize. The small goals allow us to reward ourselves along the way, and they do ultimately still build up to the bigger picture in the end, even if it feels like we're "not doing much". It can be anything like "get to this chapter that I can finish in the next few weeks" or "fully write out this scene that's been living in my head rent-free".

As for the overthinking... yeah, I wish I had some magic solution to that, but it's really just about learning what you enjoy doing vs. what you don't, so that you can have confidence in knowing when your creative decisions suit the project you're working on. This is something that gets better with practice and experience, but I feel like it's better tackled by reminding yourself that any project, no matter the outcome of how popular it gets or whether or not it "takes off", is an opportunity to learn and grow. Treat every project as a learning experience and you'll hopefully find the process itself more enjoyable, which will subsequently buff up your confidence. It's all a process of honing in on what works for you, what you excel at, and what you enjoy doing; while learning what doesn't work for you, what you could improve at, and what you don't enjoy doing.

Finding a writing buddy or someone who's willing to read your work and give you feedback is super helpful for this, too, because sometimes it takes another perspective to help us navigate the fog of indecision and find a solution.

And again, remember - you are one person, and you are under no obligation for any of your projects to be some perfect, infallible holy grail. You will write stuff that you will inevitably look back on with disgust and cringe. You will create projects that you will eventually outgrow or move on from. That does not invalidate the time and effort you put into those projects - it's proof of experience and growth. Embrace the growing pains, find peace in the process in whatever way you can.

It's not a question of right or wrong - it's asking yourself what feels true to you and your voice, and finding out along the way.

[luckyartdrawer]

100 Follower Milestone Poll! 🎉🎉🎉

Heya lovelies!!! This blog hit 100 followers oh my goodness!!!

I really can't believe it, it's so awesome to see you all here! <333 Whether you're new or old around here it doesn't matter, I am electronically hugging and/or patting all of your heads in great thanks! ✨💖✨💖✨💖✨

To celebrate, I have some options in a poll for y'all to choose what you would like to see for this milestone! I HIGHLY suggest reading the explanations of each option below the break! It clarifies some important details. Its down there so any of y'all just scrolling by won't have to worry about a wall of text! <3

Please feel free to vote even if you aren't following me!!!

Poll Options explanations:

Drop early chapters of EYED / Dreamlike: This is a Moon-centric x reader fic I've been working on for several months now and I originally planned to start posting it when I finished it or got really close to doing so. I dropped a sneak peek of it here! I find myself currently on a standstill on it's later chapters, which is why it hasn't been finished yet, but otherwise I am reallllly happy with it's messaging and pacing. (Rn I have plotted out 15 chapters but it's looking like it could be longer with how I write oops-)

The first chapters have been pretty polished at this point, so if people are really curious about this one, I don't mind to start posting the chapters up to a certain point. If this wins, I'll post the first 3 chapters for 3 sequential days, then 4 and 5 will come out in the next week, and then the last week I'll post ch. 6 for no particular reason mhmm yup I am not planning anything nefarious-

Drawing requests: This would be my first time doing something like this, and while I know I can pop out some bangers for y'all I also don't want to dig myself into a hole and leave y'all waiting for a long time. 😅So if this wins, I'll take the first 10 requests and draw them out! If I feel capable of doing more I may open some more slots for y'all, but I need to test my speed and my capabilities here first. Expect some lovely rendering bc I love it so, but I won't be doing backgrounds (besides simple colors) for the sake of my sanity.

Drabble requests: Most of ya here probably see me as only an artist, but I do write and actually started out as a writer first for this fandom hehe. ✨ I've been doing well recently with short stories so as long as y'all want em, I can hopefully dish em out at a reasonable pace! I, again, haven't done something like this before. So if this wins, I'll take the first 10 requests, but I feel more confident that I can do this at a reasonable pace, so if things go well I'll open up 5-10 more slots for y'all!

Rendered drawing of a dca AU: Hehe, my forte /J. I've drawn some whacky crossovers, cute sillays, and horror stuff at times, but some of y'all also know I love soooo many AUs in this fandom, hehe! I definitely do not mind drawing AUs, there are MANY I haven't drawn for, but I will be avoiding drawing other's specific AUs. I love making fanart, but this is going to thank y'all for being here, so I would like to keep from using someone else's AU -- it would feel like I'm stealing them e3e.

Plus, this is from me to thank you! And so will the goobers! I'll try to be as detailed as possible with both the characters and location <3

If this wins, I'll set up another poll to last for 3 days. It'll have some general au options like Mer, then I'll list out some crossovers I have done like Submas! Sun/Moon, and I'll add my own AUs! There will also be an option to suggest an AU/crossover! (Please don't be afraid to do so, as long as enough people have an interest in the option, or even if it doesn't win I may still make it if I really like the suggestion! <333)

Rendered drawing of Biblical dca: This means the drawing will be as realistic to the original as I can get it! Gonna do my best to do material rendering and all mwehehe! Though, I may make him extra polished/shiny to not only play with reflections, but to also say how sparkly y'all make me feel hehe ✨✨✨

If this wins, I'll try to finish the drawing within a week or 2 after I make the announcement of the poll's winner! I'll also throw out a really quick poll for 1 day to let y'all pick who will be our biblical goober: Sun, Moon, or Ruin Eclipse!

Something else: This is pretty self explanatory, but if you have ideas, comment below! (You can even if you didn't pick this option!!!) And if you see an idea you like or that you wanted to comment already said below, please reply to that person's comment to keep things easy to track! You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, just drop something simple like ✨ in it and I'll know that means ya voted for it. :) (I'll be checking to make sure people didn't vote on the same comment more than once! But you can vote for multiple ideas <3)

If this wins/has enough interest, I'll choose the most popular suggestion! Depending on what suggestion wins, I may actually do BOTH that suggestion and the winning/2nd place option on the poll!!!! ( Woah 2 for one what :O )

My choice 💥💥💥: I typically don't like making choices actually, but in the case y'all are indecisive I will step up ✨✨✨ If this wins, I'll likely choose whatever sounds best to me in that moment hehehe, you'll never be 100% sure what I'll do >:)

Moon's bald and we love him for it: Oh yeah we do! <3 This is just a joke option to let people who don't want to vote to see the results. If this wins... Uh... We'll go for the 2nd place vote! And also I'll add a bald Moon doodle as a bonus goodie. (I'm so good at making incentives to get people to vote, I know I know ✨✨✨)

Thanks again for all the love guys!!! This fandom has been so good to me and I cannot thank y'all enough for making it as awesome and welcoming as it has been! <333

[hiding-under-the-willow]

If the hermit recap team is a paranormal investigation group I wonder what everyone thinks of them, at least Ghost-wise. Are they good at their job? Or do the ghosts watch them flail?

Okay so there's this episode in the show where the main characters attempt to get the ghosts to put on a big show of haunting the house for a bunch of paranormal investigators so they can charge people for ghost tours but all of the ghosts go on strike so they have to fake a haunting in a house that's already haunted. There is a subplot in this episode where a pair of ghosts spend the entire episode presenting a fake radio show to a recording device that's supposed to pick up ghosts, only for it to be revealed at the end that it doesn't actually work and it didn't pick them up at all. I was thinking about this episode both when creating Joe's character and when I decided I wanted the recap team to be reoccurring paranormal investigator characters.

Because I think it would be pretty funny if Joe, who was a radio host in life and can be heard through radios, recording devices, and other technology in death, did this whole bit, only for the team to come back at the end to pick up their recording device, listen back to the recording, briefly getting excited, only for Pix to go "Wait a second, I know that voice, wasn't this guy on the radio back in the 90s?" And they assume that Grian and Joel just played like a rerun recording of one of Joe's old shows as part of the fake haunting, meanwhile Joe can't decide if he should be fuming because his existence is being ignored or if he should be beaming because someone still recognized him some 20 years after his death.

And then they show back up at Grian and Joel's door two weeks later like "We checked this recording, it doesn't exist. Anywhere. And according to our research this guy died on your property. This recording is real. This kind of proof is unprecedented. Please let us investigate your house again."

And so Grian and Joel once again see the opportunity for money and accept. The ghosts continue to stay wary, refusing to directly interact with them, but they tend to just. Create proof on accident as they go about their normal wacky business. And so we have this dynamic where the recap crew keeps coming back to investigate, getting some kind of absurd evidence of ghosts, getting accused of faking it because the house already has a bad reputation for fake hauntings, and the recordings they're getting are absurd, and so they keep having to come back to try to get more.

I like to think Joe starts fucking with Pix by only talking to him when there's no cameras rolling, and so the two end up with a pretty funny relationship where Pix can have full conversations with Joe and yet can never manage to get another recording of him no matter how sneaky he thinks he's being about it.

Half of their job just becomes trying to deal with this one stupid absurdly haunted house that is dragging their entire reputation through the mud. And Grian gets to be like "Ha, yeah, you should try living with them." While trying to skirt around the fact that he can just straight up see and talk to all of them. Plus there's whatever the fuck is going on next door.

Just. this should be the general state of things by the time it's all over

I think it'd be really funny actually if Pix managed to figure out down to the most minute of details what the fuck is happening between these two haunted ass properties and the people and ghosts living in them but the whole experience has run him so ragged and made him sound so insane that everyone thinks he's just lost it and no one believes him. Ghosts so fucking annoying he has to either retire or become a disgraced conspiracy theory youtuber who exclusively talks about the ghosts in these two houses. Everyone thinks he's had some kind of mental break and honestly he probably has but everything he's saying is actually correct.

[read-write-thrive]

Charles Rowland Week Day Two - Chorb/Comfort

After over three decades as ghosts, you would think that Charles and Edwin would have a good grasp on what ghosts can and can’t do, or even what ghosts could or couldn’t feel, so, etc. Like, ghosts can eat, but it tastes awful. Ghosts can’t sleep at all. That sort of thing. Edwin called them “ghost rules”. Charles also called them ghost rules, but he did his best not to talk about them at all unless directly asked. He’d opened up about missing being alive and all that baggage, yeah, but no need to poke at it, alright?

But lately they’d discovered a new ghost “rule” (ability? Function? Who knows) completely on accident. You see, after the entire fiasco with Esther (and the following quest to get Niko back) the boys had been, frankly, exhausted. They’d done a lot in their thirty years but never so much in so little time. It was weird, to say the least.

“Are you guys sure you’re okay? We can stick around—“ Crystal had tried as they all but herded the girls out of the office. It was past midnight and they should’ve left hours ago, but the boys must look especially bad if their looks were anything to go by.

However, this exhaustion was wearing on the boy’s patience (well, Edwin’s, but Charles had to mediate so it was getting to him too) and frankly, they needed a break. Charles was happy to say as much.

“Nope, all good here! In fact, I think we’ve all earned some time off, so maybe take the next few days to rest, yeah? You sure you don’t want us to walk with you to the tube?” Even his face hurt from smiling, which hasn’t happened since long before he died. There was an alarm bell in the back of his head, but he felt too exhausted to have a proper look at it. He just needed a break is all.

The girls shared a look again. Is this how people felt when he and Edwin did that? Charles didn’t realise it was so annoying.

“We’ll be fine. You have my number right? If anything happens?” Crystal pulled on her coat and helped Niko with her accidentally inside-out sleeve, “And you’re sure that ancient landline even works?”

“As I’ve said, the phone was enchanted to work even without electricity. Barring extremely dire circumstances, it works.” Edwin snapped, lighter than his proper angry tone but still on the edge.

“Do you want us to call you before coming back?” Niko asked towards Edwin, but with a significant, pointed glance at Charles. Charles knew there was something in that look, too, but thinking felt a little difficult at the minute. His head kinda felt like the jar of bees. Maybe he should fish it out of the backpack to compare.

Edwin replied to Niko kinder than he’d been with Crystal but not by much. Crystal snapped at him, probably about his tone with Niko, and then those two were arguing again. Charles really should break it up so the girls could get back to their flat.

God, was this a migraine? Could ghosts get migraines? It’d be just his luck, too. Was there ghost paracetamol he could take? He’d have to dry swallow it since the drink would taste like sand—

There was a hand waving in front of his face. Someone grabbed his arm and shook him. Suddenly Edwin grabbed him by the shoulders, staring him down intently. He was saying something, too. Charles moved to smile and nod, even as he had no idea what was going on, but that seemed to make the pain spike again. He flinched against it. He crossed his arms across himself, though he couldn’t say why. Comfort? Warmth? Guess it didn’t matter much, really.

Several sets of hands were pushing him somewhere—oh, the sofa, right. That seemed like a good idea. Weren’t the girls going somewhere? Or supposed to be, at least. He assumed they were some of the other hands pushing and pulling him along.

He landed on the sofa with little grace, the bouncing making something pulse in his brain is a not nice way. Edwin was there again, hands on Charles’s cheeks and forehead as if checking for fever. It was silly—surely ghosts couldn’t get fevers, if they didn’t have bodies. Edwin knows that.

They were talking to him again. It sounded like he was underwater, sound carrying but only barely. Oh, right. Ghosts weren’t supposed to have whatever was happening now, either. That would explain Edwin’s furious note taking and fussing. Niko was up and about helping him, which meant Crystal had to be the one next to him. Turning his head felt like a bad idea, so he was glad they only had so many people in the vicinity. Process of elimination and all that.

Pain struck at his abdomen next, dull ache turning stabbing in the matter of minutes. He curled in on himself, bringing his feet up onto the sofa and his knees to his face. Clutching at his stomach, Charles squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his forehead into his knees. Maybe if he just curled up tight enough—

It was like his ears popped and every joint cracked at the same time. Charles was pretty sure it was an audible pop! too. But suddenly everything was peaceful, like he was stretched out and condensed into the best full-body hug at the same time. The world was a warm yellow, bright but comfortable. Sure he couldn’t see his friends anymore, but it was blessed relief from whatever the bloody hell that pain was and Charles was absolutely going to bask in it.

After a minute or two of adjusting, Charles realised he could almost hear what was happening in the office. Crystal and Edwin were fighting again, though now Niko seemed to be— cooing over something? Muttering reassurances? He couldn’t catch all the words, but he was pretty sure that was her “finding a literal creature and/or inanimate object adorable” voice. Who/what was she talking to? Shouldn’t she be splitting up the other two? Actually, weren’t the girls supposed to be heading home?

He wanted to ask all of that, but this blissful state didn’t grant him the power of speech, apparently. Charles’s questions came out as a humming noise instead. Surely this should be worrying him—no sight, no speech, hell he’s pretty sure no body—but it was hard to feel worried, or frustrated, or sad here. He felt so good, why would he ruin it with all that? Besides, taking a step back and being relieved of his headache gave him the chance to carefully consider what had just happened.

And he would do that. Definitely. At some point. Look, this was probably the closest he’d gotten to sleep in over thirty years, you can’t blame him for wanting to bask in it for a while, alright? Just a little bit, so Edwin doesn’t kill Crystal (or Crystal somehow double kills Edwin). A bit of rest then he’d figure out how to go back.

~

When Charles “popped” again, returning to the mortal plane or whatever, it was to a pile of blankets and pillows in the middle of the office, wood burning stove lit and his three best friends circled around him. Thankfully they left him enough room to not pop on top of someone.

The girls were asleep, but Edwin was instantly focused on Charles. He went so far as to scurry forward, kneeling between Charles’s flailed legs to, again nonsensically, press at his face for a fever that wasn’t there.

“Charles, you’re back! Are you alright? Do you know what happened? Lord, I— we were worried.” Edwin admitted, dropping his hands and rocking back on his heals to create a smidge more distance.

Charles, genuinely smiling this time, decided he wasn’t a fan of this embarrassment or shame or whatever it was Edwin was dealing with. So, naturally, he leaned forward and threw his arms around his best mate.

“Oh, mate, it was brills…”

—

Day two of @charles-rowland-week !! I am vvvvv sleepy rn so if there’s mistakes no there isn’t 😌 hope y’all enjoyed!

[olderthannetfic]

since OTNF has a book and I assume some percentage of readers also are publishing original queer stories I wanted to ask people how do you market them practically?

My thing is that I already have a revised draft (for context it's a simple M/M contemporary romance). I didn't hire an editor to look through it but I'm considering it too. Getting the cover and things like that are also on to do list but the thing that keeps getting my skin to crawl is the "start a tiktok page and use ao3 tags to market your queer book" part that everyone keeps saying.

I assume because it works for them but I don't think I'm built for tiktok and being there as an author.

Now I know this sounds like a cop out. That I'm just complaining (maybe I am) and the reality of the matter is that I have to start doing something in that department given I have no social media presence at all (not on my personal accounts, and I don't wanna tie this down to my fandom accounts).

And every time I open advice youtube channels or blog posts it's all the same. Post on social media 10 times and week. Market yourself without actually marketing yourself. Be consistent etc etc.

I guess I wanna know how other people are doing it? Or do you have resources that help with this? Are there resources that help with this? That are not just parroting the same 5 advices and in the end try to sell you a marketing course?

--

I haven't tried advertising on tiktok. I don't know how much things have changed in the last few years, but it used to be that a lot of the paying customer base was older and hanging out in Facebook groups for "m/m romance".

I've been too busy in my personal life and with trying to get a few books under my belt to even really try to advertise. When I do (probably when I finally get this next book out), I don't think tiktok would be my choice.

One thing I'm more invested in is building a BL index so we can get away from amazon and especially from paying amazon to advertise. I think that kind of thing (not ratings, not reviews) is the future for us, both as writers and readers.

[castdust]

⤷ wish that i could !

yn, a part-time barista, and daniela, a busy university student, have never crossed paths despite frequenting the same cafe. their schedules have always kept them apart--until finals season at ADMU forces daniela to adjust her routine. as late-night study sessions and caffeine cravings bring her to yn's shift.

⤷ playing after hours by kehlani.

03. dance with me? - written (828 words)

the club pulsed with life, its energy palpable as the bassline reverberated through the air, a heartbeat shared by everyone inside. the dance floor, a kaleidoscope of movement; alive with swaying bodies lost in the music’s hypnotic rhythm. faces glistened under the shifting glow of colored lights, their joy and abandon amplified with each strobe of electric blue, crimson, and gold. 

yn and jungwon are outside of the club prepping themselves for the smell that they'll inhale as they walk inside the club. the air smelled of sweat, perfume, tang of spilled alcohol and a faint smell of weed. the two looked around to spot their friends, but it was unnecessary since yn already saw minji standing up on their table.

even though the club had a reservation policy it was still crowded as fuck inside and the air felt so hot. the two needed to go across the dance floor for them to go to their table; jungwon held yn’s jacket tightly as they walked on the dance floor—a few excuses and lightly pushing as they were almost across. 

“YN! YOU MADE IT!” yunjin yelled as she hugged her.

yn smiled lightly and reciprocated the hug “and you’re drunk, lotts” yunjin dismissed what yn said and proceeded to take two shots and gave it to the two. 

yn and jungwon clinked the shot glass and downed the tequila in one go. the way yn scrunched her face when the alcohol ran down on her throat made yunjin chuckled—these are the times were the six let everything loose, these are their doings when they know that they’ll get busy the next week, and these are the times they sometimes bonded; they may not remember things the next day, but that’s how they know they had fun at that party. 

shots after shots, minji and jungwon gained confidence to dance at the dance floor and as for yn, she’s not at that point of drunkenness, so the two leave her be and join their three other friends. 

as the five dance their asses off at the dance floor; yn observes them and thanks whatever gods that they gave her these kinds of friends and not snobby and fake ass people—even though they are annoying and sometimes tiring. they still treat each other like a family and always be there for each other no matter what—no judgement. 

yn stood up and went to the bar to get her and her friends another shot of jose cuervo. 

she’s not really an irresponsible drinker and she’s not definitely a huge drinker like yunjin–who literally does not remember anything the next day and puking her insides and definitely not a person that instantly be sober like jake–who can carry his friends and drive them safely at their own dorms; she knows her limits and how light-weighted she can be, so of course the way she lets herself be sober is by vaping and little sips of water. 

but before yn could even reach the bar someone stumbled towards her and thankfully she caught the girl on time. 

“careful there,” she says as she helps the girl stand up. 

the girl looked at her—curly blonde hair, light-hazel almond eyes that complements her face shape, and those scattered moles. 

“sorry, i’m kind of tipsy,” 

worry spreads across yn’s face, even though she doesn’t know the woman; she still worries about her being since there are a lot of assholes and freaks inside a club. “are you with your friends? do you want me to bring you back to your table?” yn offers, holding the girl close in case she stumbles again.

“yeah, i do, but don’t you want….want to dance with me?” yn looked at her surprised.

since she doesn’t want to be rude and kind of intoxicated, she just nodded and accepted the girl’s offering, so the girl lead her towards the dance floor—when yn said she doesn’t dance unless she’s drunk enough like her two best friends, there’s an exception when a pretty girl ask you to dance with her; the answer is always a yes. 

the two girls danced like there’s no tomorrow, the distance between them is crucially close and yn thinks– maybe the smell of jack daniel or what perfume is the girl wearing, or whatever it is, it draws her closer. 

what shocked her the most was when the girl turned and faced her, “you know, i actually already saw you at the entrance” the girl said lowly, but yn picked up what she said. 

“really? did you plan this all along?” she whispered to the girl, who nodded slowly and pressed her backside closer to yn’s front. the girl smiled in victory when she felt yn’s hand on her waist and guided how they swayed to the music. even though the colorful lights strike their faces this isn’t enough to mask the rush of the feeling that she knows she got yn’s attention to her only. 

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ masterlist next

a/n: kind of rushed :p

taglist: @gtfoiydlyj @saysirhc

[marsstyles]

Love Language

Zilla Fatu + Serene Savage (OC)

Synopsis: Serene is starting to make her ground in the NXT roster as she is going to be competing for the Women’s North American Championship title. Then, someone from her past debuts in NXT and its none other than Zilla Fatu. There’s unresolved issues between the two that hasn’t been settled prior to her move to NXT. Will they be able to resolve the past issues to work together in the same space or will it cause even more friction between the two wrestlers?

CW: Mature Language, 18+, Cursing, Friends with Benefits.

Author’s note: Hi! I hope you enjoy reading the first chapter of my first fanfic! I created the character of Serene as a fun way to develop a wrestling persona for myself. Serene is Latina (as am I) so I will have her speak Spanish. I have put numbers next to each Spanish dialogue and will leave the English translations at the bottom for the page.

Happy reading!💜

Chapter 1

NXT: Orlando, Florida -10:30am

Serene is driving in her rental car, listening to SZA’s new album, “LANA”, on her way to the performance center for tonight’s show. It’s a big night for her as she is the Number One Contender for the Women’s North American Championship title against Fallon Henley, who is currently reigning with the title. She had a Fatal Four way match against Shotzi, Sol Ruca, and Zaria, the week prior and she ended up winning the match by pinning Shotzi. It was an exhilarating moment for her because she worked hard and waited for this moment to compete for a title since she came to NXT a year and half ago.

She is nervous, but also excited for the match because this win will be a major boost to her career. Listening to SZA brought a calmer, chill vibe that was needed to ease her nerves as she pulls into the parking lot of the performance center. After parking her rental car, she takes out her headphones and connects the bluetooth to her phone to listen to the music as she gets out of the car and heads for the trunk to pull out her suitcase and bags.

Serene walks towards the entrance of the center and enters to see Shawn directing the crew on how things he would like to happen for the show. She makes her rounds saying “good morning” to the crew and heads backstage to put her belongings away. She makes her way to the girl’s locker room and sees that a few of the girls made it before her, who were also settling into their spaces and started doing their routines.

Among those that were present in the locker room were: Stephanie Vaquer, Sol Ruca, Tatum Paxley, Kelani Jordan, Guilia, Wren Sinclair and Shotzi. They all see Serene enter, some said “good morning” and others waved at her. “Good morning, ladies!”, Serene greeted back to them. She sets her stuff next to Sol who was stretching her legs on the floor.

“Hello miss number one contender, how are you feeling?”, Sol asked her, as Serene was putting her stuff down. Serene gave her a look and signed, “Well, are you asking in general or are you asking about tonight?”, she asked, sarcastically.

Sol chuckled. “Well, since you brought it up, then both.”, Sol said. Serene closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “As much I want to say I’m fine and not feeling nervous at all, you know I would be lying to myself when in reality, I’m feeling anxious as hell.”, she said. “I know what you mean. Even though I lost last week, I’m happy that you are finally getting this opportunity that you rightfully deserve.”, Sol said, putting her hand on Serene’s arm.

Serene gives her a small smile and puts her hand over hers. “Thanks. It really sucked that we had to go against each other because I would have loved to see you get that Number One spot. I know how hard you’ve worked for to get a championship title.”, she said. Sol waved her off. “Nah, don’t worry. My time will come. I mean we all deserve a chance, it’s only a matter of who got that chance first. Since it was you, I was really happy that you got the spot.”, she said.

Serene smiled fondly at Sol. She is grateful of her friendship that she has built with Sol since she came to NXT. Sol helped her settle into the new environment since it was different from the indies, became someone she confided in whenever she was feeling anxious and knowing what to say to help her calm the nerves. She appreciates everything Sol has done for her and they have been close ever since.

She looks to her side and makes a mischievous grin, “Now, if it was Zaria that had gotten the spot, then we both would’ve been fucked. Luckily, it was you that pulled through.”, she said as she gets swatted by someone that Serene didn’t see come in. “I fucking heard that, Sol.”, a female voice with an Australian accent said, in annoyance.

Serene sees Zaria put her stuff down next to where her and Sol were seated at. Sol started laughing, “That was the whole point, I wanted you to hear that. Especially, since I know I’m right for pointing out the obvious.”, she said, shrugging her shoulders and smiling at Zaria. Zaria rolled her eyes and flipped off at Sol, then turned her attention to Serene. “So, big night for you. How are you feeling?”, she asked with her arms crossed over her chest.

“As I was telling Sol, I’m feeling a bit anxious, not gonna lie. It’s been something I have been looking forward to all week since it’s my first major match to compete for a championship title.”, Serene said, as she started rolling her legs on her foam roller.

“You’ll be fine, mate. Don’t sell yourself short and doubt your potential. We’ve all seen your work and how much you’ve earned this spot. Besides, it wasn’t gonna be me who was gonna get the spot, that’s for sure.”, Zaria said, matter of factly.

“What? Why do you say that?”, Serene asked, giving her a confused look.

Zaria gave her a serious look. “Mate, it’s obvious that it was not going to be me because I had just got here, hell, it wasn’t even going to be Shotzi since she recently just got back from an injury.,” she said, pointing at the green haired female who was talking to Tatum as they were walking out of the room. “As much I appreciate the compliment of my in ring ability, the reality of it is, it was either gonna be one of you two who was gonna get the spot. Unfortunately for Sol, you got the spot.”, she said, pointing out the obvious to both Sol and Serene.

After hearing what Zaria had said, Serene knew that she had a point. It was going to be either herself or Sol getting that Number One contender spot since they have been in the company longer than both Zaria and Shotzi combined. Zaria recently debuted here to NXT back in October and Shotzi was in the main roster before getting injured earlier in the year and had just returned to help out Tatum and her friend, Gigi Dolan.

Sol gave Zaria a friendly push on her legs. “Hey, the wound is still fresh. That night was rough for me.”, she said, dramatically with putting her hand over her heart as if what Zaria said hurt her.

Zaria rolled her eyes and shook her head at Sol’s dramatic self. “Yeah, yeah, you’ll be fine. You’ll get your chance.”, she said, smirking and waving her off. Both Serene and Sol laughed as Serene had finished off rolling her legs and started rolling her back. The three continued talking to one another and took turns guessing who will win in tonight’s match card other than Serene’s match with Fallon.

As they were finished making their predictions and Serene was finishing up rolling up her back, Shotzi came over to tell them that Shawn wanted everyone around the ring immediately.

When Sol asked her why, she replied, “He just said that he has an announcement to make and he told me to get whoever is in the locker room and bring them there. He didn’t tell me anything else.” She shrugged and left the locker room.

All three women looked at each other for a moment before making their way to the door and leaving the locker room. As they enter the room where the ring is, a crew member told them to find a seat on the stands. They made their way onto the stands and Serene sees Stephanie and went to go sit with her with Sol sitting next to her. “Stephanie, sabes que esta pasando?”(1), she asked Stephanie. Stephanie shrugged and shook her head. “No, no lo se. No dijeron nada. Solamente Shotzi me dijo que Shawn quería vernos porque iba anunciar algo. Nada mas.”(2), she said. Serene nodded as they wait for everyone to enter and be seated.

When everyone had entered and was seated, Shawn went onto the ring and was handed a microphone. “Good afternoon everyone!”, he greeted. “Sorry to interrupt your training and warm up, but I wanted bring you all together because I have an announcement to make.”, he said. We all looked at each other as we anticipating what he will announce.

“Before I tell you the announcement, I wanna go over tonight’s match card so those who have their matches tonight, will know which order each match will be placed.”, he stated. He explained the order of the following matches:

Opener: Lola Vice vs Kelani Jordan

2nd: Men’s Tag Team title matcha- Fraxiom vs No Quarter Catch crew

3rd: Women’s Triple Threat Tag Team Match- Meta Four girls, Shotzi and Gigi, and special guests: Kayden Carter and Katana Chance from Raw.

4th: Wes Lee vs. Jevon Evans

Main event: Women’s North American Championship title match- Serene Savage vs Fallon Henley.

After explaining what segments will be happening for backstage and in the ring throughout the show, Shawn continued, “Now that’s all done and settled,” pausing for dramatic effect and smiled, “it’s time for my announcement.” Everyone applauded and cheered as they were all waiting for what the announcement is going to be about.

“Now, the announcement I wanted to share with all of you today is something that me and the team have been working hard to get this to happen and luckily for us this past week, it finally did.”, Shawn said, smiling with pride. “I am announcing that we have someone new coming to NXT and will be added to the roster as of tonight.,” he stated, as he hears the wrestlers whispering to one another. He chuckles. “Now, settle down. I know that you are all eager to know who will be added to the roster and you will find out soon…”, he pauses and takes a moment to think before continuing, “You know what? Let’s bring him out here! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our newest member in NXT, Zilla Fatu!,” he announces.

Serene freezes and felt her eyes widen when Shawn announced that name. A name that she hasn’t heard from for a while, a name that she only sees and hears about all over social media, a name of a person she thought she wouldn’t have to see again until this moment. No. Fucking. Way. What is he doing here? Distracted with her own thoughts, they were interrupted by Sol nudging her as she was applauding at the arrival of the one and only, Zilla Fatu. Serene shook herself out of her shock and started applauding with the others as she sees Zilla making his way into the ring and shake hands with Shawn, then facing towards them.

Zilla was wearing a black hoodie that had picture of his late father, Umaga, black shorts with red and black shoes. Damn, I forgot how good he looked. He’s still fine as hell., she thought, I wander if he still remembers me. Zilla nodded at everyone and scans the audience to see who he could recognize from the stands. He looks at the direction where Serene is sitting and does a double take. Serene notices him smirking at her as he looks at her direction and she looks away, putting her head down to hide her blushing. Crap. Not him seeing me. Serene couldn’t pay attention to what Shawn is saying and will ask either Sol or Stephanie to recount what he said because she is too distracted with her feelings about Zilla, feelings she thought she had moved on from after the last time she saw him.

“Serene, are you okay? Por que tienes la cabeza agachada?”(3), Stephanie asked her as she noticed Serene not paying attention to Shawn. Serene, embarrassed about what’s happening, whispered to her, “Te lo cuento después.”(4) Stephanie nodded, understandingly.

Serene zoned out for the rest of the meeting as she feels her anxiety internally brewing until Shawn said, “Alright, that’s enough for now. Thank you everyone and give your best welcome to Zilla into the roster.,” Shawn announced as he concluded the meeting and everyone applauds.

Serene is eager to get the fuck out of this room to run to the bathroom because she feels sick and she can’t breathe. As everyone goes down towards the ring to welcome Zilla, Serene storms out of the stands and runs into the hallway to find the bathroom.

She is on autopilot and is not aware of Sol, Stephanie, Zaria and Shotzi running after her and calling her name. Once she was able to find the bathroom, she runs inside to one of the stalls and falls onto the floor in front of the toilet. She feels like she’s about to the throw up, but the feeling won’t come out and instead, she’s just staring at the toilet as she was trying to control her breathing.

Why now? Why all of the sudden, he decides to sign with WWE? A company that has been wanting, as well as the fans, to get him signed to when he would always dread answering any questions that involved the company. She feels tears coming down her face that she was trying to prevent from coming out. As she was trying take deep breaths, she hears the door burst open and hears voices calling her name. “I’m in here.”, Serene shakingly calls out to them to lead them to the stall she’s in.

As Sol opens the door and sees Serene on the floor panicking and crying, she sits down in the floor with her and puts her hands on her arms, rubbing them. “Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s okay. Close your eyes and just focus on your breathing. In and out. In and out.”, she said, helping her ease her anxiety and wiping the tears off of her face. “Shotzi, go to the locker room and get her water. Her stuff is next to mine. Quickly, please.”, Sol pleaded. Shotzi nodded and ran out of the bathroom.

This wasn’t the first time that Sol helped Serene with her anxiety attacks. She has helped her deal with them whenever she was feeling stressed and anxious, whether it was about a match or anything personal. Serene had trusted her ever since she knew what to do to help her recover from her episodes. As she is trying to control her breathing, Shotzi came into the bathroom with her water, Serene thanked her and took a sip of the water. The rest of the girls waited for Serene to regain control of her emotions and her breathing before they start questioning her.

After she felt her anxiety ease, she wipes her tears off of her cheek then looks at them, embarrassed, “Sorry, ya’ll had to see that. Anyways, go on ahead. Ask away.”, she said, knowing the girls are curious about her behavior and the reason behind it. The girls looked at each other with concern because they unsure where to begin with their questioning.

After a moment of silence, Stephanie was the first break it. “Por que tenias tu cabeza agachada cuando entro Zilla? Lo conoces?”(5), she asked. Serene paused for a moment to think about how to tell them about her past with Zilla Fatu, a past that she didn’t know she would have to relive again. She took a deep breath and said, “Yeah. Yeah, I do know him. We had a…a thing together in the past.”, she said, looking down at her tumbler and playing with the cap. “What kind of thing you both had previously? Was it serious?”, Zaria asked.

Serene shook her head and shrugged. “It wasn’t supposed to be at first. It was supposed to be something that we would be both emotionally detached from. Until later on, we didn’t know it would turn into an emotional attachment, at least on my end.”, she said that last part quietly to herself that only Sol was able to hear. “We had a…friends with benefits type of thing, which at first, I did agree to having with him because why the fuck not, he’s hot as hell and he was interested in me. So, we agreed to just fuck. Nothing more, nothing less.,” she confessed, to make it clear to them the intentions they both had in the beginning.

“I’m sensing there’s a ‘but’ coming up.”, Sol said. Serene let out a little chuckle, “Yeah there is. But, as things went on, I started developing feelings for him. It was only because he started doing things that you would do if we were in a relationship.”, she said, looking away from the girls. “It started to confuse me because I thought we were just having causal sex and nothing else. We agreed on having no strings attached, but then suddenly, he just started making things complicated.”, she said, putting her hands over her face in embarrassment.

“So, what happened next? Did you confront him about his intentions?”, Shotzi asked. Serene nodded as she dropped her hands off her face. “Yeah, i did. I was sick of him playing in my face when I saw things weren’t going anywhere. I asked him how he really felt about me and if he wanted to commit to a relationship.”, she said. “He tried to deny that he was having any feelings for me and was downplaying the gestures he did whenever we were together because it was all part of getting me ‘horny’ since we were just ‘fucking’.”, she said, rolling her eyes as she was air quoting what he said.

“Is that the reason you looked away when he came in?”, Sol asked. “Yeah. I haven’t seen him since the last time we had a conversation together. I told him that I never wanted to see him again.,” she said, coldly. “Before confronting him, I had gotten the call that I was accepted to come here to NXT. I wanted to tell him at first, but with the back and forth, I decided not to tell him and just leave.”, she explained, “I looked down because he saw me when he got into the ring and smirked at me. Fucking asshole.”, she muttered, in annoyance.

“Well, we got your back if anything. And besides, you can’t let that stop you from focusing on getting the Championship title, tonight.”, Sol softly said, holding her hands and squeezing them. That’s right. God damnit. After seeing this asshole again, it has distracted me from focusing on the Championship title match. She’s mentally kicking herself for even letting his arrival affect her that way and distract her. “You’re right. I should be focusing on tonight’s match. This might’ve been a minor setback, but I’m not letting it stop me from achieving my goal.”, Serene said confidently.

“That’s right, girl! That’s the spirit!”, Shotzi exclaimed excitedly. “Now, we’ll leave you to fix yourself for a bit. We’ll wait for you outside.”, she explained as the other girls nodded in agreement. Sol and Stephanie help Serene up to her feet, she gave them a hug and thanked them for helping her. They smiled and left the bathroom so she could have her alone time.

After they left, Serene goes to the sink to wash her face, then looks up to look at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and splashed more water onto her face. She paused and looks up to the mirror saying, “No matter what, don’t let him distract you. You’ve worked hard to get this match and by the end of tonight, that title will be yours and you will be the new Women’s North American champion.” She affirmed herself, giving her a boost of positive energy she needed to feel.

After fixing herself and gave one last look to the mirror, she grabs her tumbler and heads for the door. She opens the door to find all three women outside of the bathroom, chatting with one another. They stopped their chatter as they saw Serene step out of the bathroom, “Are you good now?”, Sol asked. Serene nodded her head. “Yeah, I’m good. Let’s head back to the locker room. I wanna find Fallon and ask her if she is down to practice before tonight’s match.”, she said. They all agreed and started walking down the hallway to the locker room.

Author’s Note: I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter of my first fanfic! This is my first time ever writing a fanfic so I hope did good lol. I have already written 2 more chapters that I will be uploading each week. I don’t know how many chapters this fic will have as I am working on the 4th chapter right now, but I will give an update! Let me know what you think of the chapter. 💜

Shoutout to my friend, @usoinked! She had helped me out during this process and I appreciate you so much!

Dividers: @diviniyae and @dailyramona

Here are the Spanish-English translations:

1. Stephanie, do you know what’s going on?

2. No, I don't know. They didn't say anything. Shotzi just told me that Shawn wanted to see us because he was going to announce something. Nothing more.

3. Why is your head down?

4. I'll tell you later.

5. Why did you have your head down when Zilla came in? Do you know him?

[stellarspecter]

@strangerthingswritersguild Daily Prompt 1/7/25: Browser History

Pairings: steddie, platonic stobin | Word Count: 895 | Rating: M (for mentions of sexual activity)

divider by @/saradika-graphics

Read on AO3

Eddie sat down on the couch and opened his boyfriend's laptop. Since his own was out of commission for a little bit, they were sharing for the next however long it would take for him to get his computer fixed. It was weird to be using someone else's computer — especially since Steve still used Chrome, ew — but it was better than being relegated to just his phone for weeks. It felt cramped to do everything on such a tiny screen.

Eddie was, as always, looking for a new guitar, and he'd heard there was a new Les Paul model out, so he opened up a new tab and typed in ‘L-E-S’.

Autocomplete popped up with Steve's recent suggested searches:

Lesbian porn Lesbians scissoring Best lesbian porn Best website for lesbian porn Lesbian strap-on Lesbian pegging Lesbian butch on femme Lesbian femme on femme Lesbian threesome

Eddie stared at the screen unblinkingly for several seconds. He knew Steve was bisexual, but… this was a little much. Especially for a man who had confessed to being much more into men recently, due to his boyfriend of a year and half and all that. 

Maybe he was missing being with women? The thought twisted something in Eddie's stomach.

Did Steve feel like he was missing out being with Eddie? Was he unhappy? Was he looking for someone else?

The very man in question walked up behind him, a cup of coffee in his hand as he slumped down on the couch next to him.

“Hey, babe,” Steve said, and leaned over to give him a peck on the cheek. “What're you — oh.”

Clearly, Steve had seen what was on the screen.

“Yeah, oh,” Eddie echoed. “What's this all about?”

Steve shrugged, seemingly unbothered by Eddie finding his porn preferences. “It was for Robin.”

…Honestly, Eddie should have thought of that.

“You watch porn with Robin?” He said incredulously. He just couldn't imagine that. And how could he not know? They'd been dating for over a year. They'd talked about what porn they watched. Hell, they'd even watched some together. Steve had never mentioned Robin.

Steve just shrugged again. Did he not see how weird this was? “Yeah. Haven't you ever watched porn with your friends?”

Eddie sputtered. “Wh— Why would I — No! Of course not! Steve, I'm gay, none of my straight friends would want to watch porn with me!”

Steve paused. “Okay, that's fair,” he conceded. “But I promise it's not a weird thing for friends to do. Me and Tommy used to do it all the time.”

Eddie snorted. “And let me guess, it was an excuse to jerk each other off but say no homo because you were jerking it to women.”

Steve flushed. “No!” He paused. “Hands stay to yourself, everyone knows that.”

“Oh my god, jerking off in the same room is still not a straight guy activity!” Jocks were so dumb and gay. How did they live like this? Eddie wondered in despair.

“I'm not a straight guy! I know!” Steve countered indignantly. “And anyway, that doesn't matter for me and Robin. Obviously she doesn't want to jerk me off and I don't want to do anything she's uncomfortable with.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “But she's fine getting off in the same room as you?”

“I mean, she wasn't at first,” Steve explained. “She used to be really skittish about it. But after a while, we were both getting worked up enough while watching them and just kind of stopped caring.”

Eddie was silent for a moment. “So let me get this straight,” he started. “You and your lesbian best friend have been getting together to watch — I'm assuming just lesbian porn?” 

Steve nodded. “I mean, she doesn't really want to see guys.”

“So then why are you there — nevermind, I know you'll say something weird,” Eddie sighed. Steve pouted and mouthed something that looked like ‘emotional support jock’ to himself. “You and your lesbian best friend have been getting together to watch lesbian porn together, and sometimes jerk off in the same room together, for… some period of time that's longer than I think, probably, and you haven't even told me about it?”

Steve's face, which had been amused through Eddie's breakdown, dropped at the last line. “Oh shit, was I supposed to tell you? I'm not cheating on you! It's Robin!”

“I know you're not!” Eddie exclaimed. “It's just like… I don't know. Would be nice to know what kind of porn my boyfriend likes. Could take some pointers.” He shrugged, all of a sudden self-conscious.

Steve bundled him in his arms, kissing him pointedly on the lips. “Trust me, you don't need any pointers,” he whispered. “And I watch different stuff on my own anyway.”

“Good,” Eddie whispered, and got distracted kissing his boyfriend for a little bit. 

After they had untangled and settled back down on the couch, ready to actually look at guitars this time, Eddie finally asked, “So how did you start watching porn with Robin anyway? Seems kind of out of left field.”

Steve shrugged and leaned his head on Eddie's shoulder, watching him scroll through listing after listing of expensive guitars. “Movie night,” he said simply, like that was enough of an answer. 

And maybe for anyone else it wouldn't be, but for Steve and Robin? There was nothing else he needed to say.

[episodes-ff]

Can I Love On You?

Armando

Walking around the house with the event coordinator, I pinched the bridge of my nose trying not to strangle her as she discussed the current details surrounding our New Year's party. That's right, a damn party! Diamonté was absolutely insistent upon us having a big celebratory bash to ring in the new year with our loved ones. We could have sprung for a cozy, quaint get together at Mike's but nooooo, it had to be special! I agreed because she's my Queen and I'd give her the world, but she's taking the whole thing to the next level. Entertainment, caterers, live music (I told her that was a hell no and she refused to look at me for a few days), and planners. Two chipper, annoyingly perky and overly expensive planners, named Sabrina and Becca, who were willing to give Dee her wildest dreams no matter the cost or aggravation to me.

"Are you listening, Armando?" Sabrina pondered in her disgustingly happy voice as she looked up from her planning book. "Uh, y-yea, you said we'll be doing an entrance?" "Precisely! Once the fire dancers do thei-" "Fire dancers?! What fire dancers?!" "For the New Year's extravaganza! They will be stationed at the-" "No! Hell no! Matter of fact, hold on just a moment." Nodding swiftly in fear, she clutched her planner to her chest as I turned and stormed up the stairs. "Diamonté!" "I'm in the bedroom, baby!"

Marching into the confines of our room, I saw her in the closet organizing and folding clothes. "Hey, sweetie, everything ok?" "Everything ok? This party is getting out of control, Dee. I'm putting my foot down!" Looking up at me, she frowned her big puppy dog eyes but I wasn't budging, not today. "But papa, I want this to be special! It's our first New Year's together as a family and I wanna celebrate that properly." "Fire dancers? Jugglers? All these crazy fireworks? Baby, we don't need all this craziness to celebrate our family." I cooed as I saw the beginning of tears forming in her eyes. "But I want it." "Next year, baby. We can plan and e-" "No!" She stomped snapping into a full on tantrum as my brows furrowed in disbelief. "Que?" "You heard me. I really really really want this party." She murmured staring in fear as I leaned in closer. "And just who do you think you're taking that tone with?" I gritted against her ear as I felt the goosebumps cover her skin. "U-Um, I-" "Tsk tsk tsk, nah baby girl. I don't think you heard me clearly. You'll understand in a few minutes though."

Terry

Hearing the ringing of my phone, I groaned before picking up the call. "Hey, Tee! Change of plans, we're doing the party over at Mike's. Just something simple and intimate if you still wanted to come." Armando clarified as I nodded. "Thanks for the heads up. Um, I'm still a little busy but I may stop by to show my face for a couple minutes." "Ok man, just hit me up if you do come." "Will do, thanks!" Saying our farewells, I ended the call before looking around and huffing as I grabbed another box. Hoisting it up onto the counter, I huffed before going through the remaining of my things.

After the filing I knew the best thing for everyone involved would be for me to leave, so I did just that. I gave Anaya the house and bought a small apartment a little bit away from work so that I could still provide for her and the kids and give her some peace. We agreed to co-parent for Maya's sake, but I don't want to hurt anymore and I'm trying to make good on my promise not to. I can't really say the same for her, but again that's my own doing...

**ONE WEEK EARLIER**

It was Christmas Eve in the Richmond household and things have been anything but cheerful. Despite the best efforts from my parents to have a cozy and warm gathering, tensions were still at an all time high, and getting more petty by the minute. "Terry, will you please let Anaya know that I'm putting the ham on now so she can use the stove to start the greens?" "You could have texted her." I muttered to myself earning her scowl. "On my way." I sighed before trudging upstairs. Walking up to her door, I heard her giggling sweetly in what felt like forever. Quietly smiling to myself, my grin quickly dissipated as I heard the smooth chuckle of another man. "Boy, shut up! You steady lying!" She chuckled as my brows drew together in anger. Who the fuck?! Waltzing in, I watched her shift her eyes up to me as her bright smile transitioned to a deep mug while pulling her phone to her chest. "Can I help you?" "Kitchen's available." I spat before slamming her door and heading out for a jog.

Coming back from my jog, I ignored hellos and greetings as I headed up to the room. Changing out of my clothes and hopping into the shower, I let the steam overtake me as my thoughts ran wild. Damn, she just gone hop to the next nigga like that?! Nahhh, Tee, you can't really fault her, you know you caused this. But she just fucking filed two days ago, what the FUCK?! You did her foul though, can you really blame her for wanting to move on so quick? True true true. NAH FUCK ALLAT SHIT?! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS NEW NIGGA?! Ending my shower, I tossed on some sweats and a tank before barging down to the kitchen. Seeing her by the stove, I pulled her toward me and stormed off with her in my grasp. "Hey! Wh-" "Mama, watch the stove please?" "O-Ok." "Terry get the fuck off of me!"

Walking into the garage, I slammed the door shut as she jumped from the rush of cool air. "Terry, what the fuck is wrong with you?! Don't be fucking snatching me up like that! And why you bring me down here in this cold ass shit?!?!" "Aye, shut allat shit up! Who the fuck is this new ass nigga?!" "Wh- Ahahaha!!! Yo you serious?!" "Anaya, I'm not fucking playing with you!" "And nigga I'm not mothafucking playing with you!" She shouted poking my chest before I grabbed her hand. Staring each other down fiercely, I silently fumed huffing as she puffed her on fiery breaths at me; our eyes trailed down slowly, almost memorizing one another, landing to each other's lips. You could hear an ant piss how tensely we were eyeing each other.

Leaning forward slowly, I caressed her cheek pulling her into a deep and sloppy kiss. Immediately tangling her hands in the nape of my neck, I hoisted her up feeling on her juicy ass as she wrapped her legs around me grinding her center against my waist as the kiss heated up. Smacking her ass as I held her close, her moans coated my ears beautifully before a voice called from beyond. "Anaya, sweetie! You have a guest!" We heard my mother signaling Anaya to jump off me and scurry into the house in confusion at her actions. Looking on in my own confusion, I followed her before stopping in my tracks as I saw another man standing at my mother's doorstep with flowers for my wife.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

Ever since that day it's been all about her and Rome. I can't even lie, a nigga was livid, hell I'm still livid! I did some of the lowest shit possible but am I really not worth a second chance? This is my first time ever doing something this crazy to Anaya and immediately I'm thrown to the wolves?! I think that crushes my spirit the most, but it just motivates me to do what I gotta do to get my family back. Terry Richmond is once again, a man on a mission of a lifetime.

Anaya

Waking up, I stretched before feeling warmth as his strong arms wrapped around my waist. Looking over at him, I smiled as he placed a kiss on my cheek. "Good morning, beautiful." "Good morning to you too, handsome." I giggled before he got up to relieve himself and take a shower. Listening to Rome humming from the bathroom door, I blushed before opening my Snapchat and taking a few pictures to match my glittering mood. Choosing one from the bunch, I smiled typing my somewhat petty caption before posting it to my story and getting up to go join my new man in the shower.

Rome and I have started dating and while things are still pretty casual for us, they're starting to heat up. I took that chance and texted him after the encounter at the grocery store, and he took me on our first date on Christmas Eve. Of course, Terrence was royally pissed but he'll be ok. I told him off the bat about my pregnancy and he's been so accepting and caring of the situation. It's only been a week since we had our first date but he's been treating me like a princess nonstop, even agreeing to come to Miami for New Years so I wouldn't spend it alone. We haven't slept together, but if he keeps this up, I might be breaking that rule.

Getting something for Maya to snack on, I smiled as my phone continued to buzz and ring with plenty of congratulations and well wishes for the new year. I decided I wasn't going to hide this pregnancy or separation from the world or the people in it. I was in fact a new woman, and I'm damn proud of the new woman I'm becoming. I do wish sometimes that things could've been different, but everything happens for a reason. Walking into her nursery, I smiled as I handed Maya her fruit and checked her before heading back into the room to see about Rome. I haven't had them interact yet because for me it would be too soon but I can’t wait for the day. I just hope Terry doesn’t try to ruin this for me.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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[puppppppppy]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[wasabikitcat]

Saw the “Chara Week” art week idea proposed a couple weeks ago and Chara Dreemurr is the only character that my executive dysfunction ridden brain can make the exception of allowing me to draw fanart of, so I decided to seize the opportunity.

I was going to try at some rendering stuff but just getting this flat-color drawing alone done took me like 3 and a half hours so I decided to call it there. But I think I did at least okay for the first finished digital art I’ve done in like, a year.

(Oh, the prompt for day 1 is “Family” in case you couldn’t tell.)

[hellsbellssinclub]

I graduate tomorrow

Like for real.

There is a ceremony and everything. they are giving us a gown and cap for the graduation. I have brought a pretty dress. My hair will be nice. i even got my nails done

And I am going to have a bacholors degree to hang on my wall.

What the fuck you guys.

What the absolute fuck.

I spent my teenage years with bad mental illness.

I barely managed to get through with anything. School was hard because I could bare tolerate being there. I got lucky that the school had been supportive for that. I stumbled through my 20s, finishing off my diploma through covid and then now finishing off this bacholors course

I am 30 next year. I am starting my 30s off with two fucking degrees, a car, a job (or two) and my own little rental

fuck me. This is unreal. I feel great about it but fuck, it doesnt feel real

(i will post pictures tomorrow or day after)