#it’s not going very well

[uwuyangeppie]

you are in jail.

again.

with the way your criminal record is going, you’re not going to find any job that’ll take you in. you’ll have to marry a rich man or come across a ton of money yourself or something.

you don’t actually know why you’re in here. you’ve known other people to get way better sentences than you. the last guy (that you know of) that shoplifted got thirty hours of community service and a night in a cell. he did not get a week behind bars.

the captain of the silvermane guards is sitting opposite you, going through some paperwork of some kind. why he’s here is a complete mystery to you; he should definitely be doing other things. even if the reading is that important, doesn’t he have, like, a desk? you shoplifted. you do not need to be guarded by the captain of the silvermane guards.

nonetheless, maybe he can help you figure out why you’re in here.

“hey, can you stop putting me behind bars, please? other people get off way lighter!” maybe you should’ve said his name first, to get his attention, but his head snaps up anyway to meet your eyes. they’re a bit disconcerting, to be honest.

“it’s your own fault. you should be better at not getting caught.”

you blink. and then laugh. “is that a joke, gepard?” it’s so unexpected that you forget to use his title. well, maybe he’ll see it as a friendly gesture and change your sentence.

something in his eyes changes, but you can’t figure out what it is.

“say that last bit again.”

“a joke?”

gepard shakes his head and sets down the bundle of papers he had in his hand. “no. the bit after it.”

“gepard?” that’s his name, right? he hasn’t been replaced with a copy, or anything? maybe you should’ve stuck to captain?

“again.”

“gepard.” you’re not any more confident the second time around, and a deafening silence follows it. you swallow nervously. eventually, he sighs.

“fuck it.”

fuck what, in particular…?

“you wanted a change in sentence, didn’t you?”

wait, it worked?! for real?! no, he’s not letting you out. maybe he doesn’t have the keys for the cell? nah, that’s not it either. you can see them hanging from his belt. maybe he has some paperwork to fill out before you can be set free? he raises an eyebrow. oh, he’s waiting for an answer.

“yes, please.” you give him your best puppy-eyes. a smile pulls at his lips. wow, have you managed to manipulate the captain of the silvermane guards? you must be cuter than you thought.

“i’ll make up some excuse. let’s put you under house arrest, shall we?”

a sudden chill shoots up your spine. something’s telling you that it’s better to be in the cell. “uh, i don’t really have a house to live in.”

that’s true. you’re forever moving from place to place- although technically, you’ve been spending quite a good chunk of your time underground at the moment. still, he doesn’t have to know that. you’re safer here.

he smiles at you, but it’s no longer reassuring. “don’t worry, i know.”

and what does that mean, exactly?

gepard reaches for you through the bars. you’re too slow and fail to pull away before he manages to grab your hand, squeezing it gently and rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. “i, of course, mean my house.”

your heart stops in your chest. his eyes have taken on a crazed look.

“and hey! maybe you’ll even like it so much you want to stay forever. wouldn’t that be nice?”

you want to tell him that you’ve changed your mind! you’re fine to stay in jail! unfortunately, by the time it takes for your voice-box to start working again, he’s already gone.

[julnites]

Red riding hood comic collab with the wonderful @yeehawpim (go check out their blog for loads of great comics!) 🌷 See the layouts he did here!

[lesbian-disaster-academic]

i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.

as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."

NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING

[catmask]

its true that romance amd friendship will not solve everything but. objectively speaking its very hard to get sad when you can say 'lets go get cake tomorrow okay' and someone will go get cake with you. like there is some good at least. you know

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[eydilily]

would you bite the hand that feeds you?

[suntails]

growing up!

[jamnsketch]

venus // pluto

[somnoir]

My father's secretary

Danny Fenton did not expect to be secretary material but after 7 years of being a hero and having Jazz as his elder sister, he was damn good at it. He needed a job, he knew that, and Wayne Enterprises was willing to hire a 21 year old taking online college classes for aerospace engineering.

And he was fucking thankful for that cause Mr. Wayne was pretty neat and bought him good food and coffee whenever he looked out of it. Half his family were already in Gotham with only his parents in Amity. They were finally reformed and now their research finally advocated for the rights of ghosts and spread awareness on their culture. Good for them.

Jazz and Dante were in Arkham working as a psychologist and guard. Elle was still in school, enrolled into Gotham Academy once Vlad insisted on paying her tuition. To be fair, he was paying for Danny's tuition too.

But back to his secretary duties. His boss was Bruce Wayne, yes, but he did often work with the man's son and the current CEO. Tim was nice and had the same caffeine addiction as him. (Jazz highly discouraged this friendship in case they both made a monstrosity of coffee and energy drinks.)

But Mr. Wayne was the best. He was rather clumsy and a bit airheaded but he was the best fucking boss he could ever ask for. The man's paternal instincts were on point and Danny was almost intimidated when the man started handing him extra cash whenever Danny came to the office looking more tired than usual. When that failed, Mr. Wayne resorted to giving him more material things.

Now, he doesn't want to take advantage of this ridiculously kind man with a lack of self preservation (God, was this what Jazz felt about him?). But Mr. Wayne had given him this amazing coffee maker and then proceeded to give Danny the best toaster ever. And Danny has always been known to resolutely be against Billionaires adopting him. But Mr. Wayne?

Danny had honed his back talking skills to perfection to talk down arrogant elites that kept demanding for his boss. He mastered his customer service voice and that condescending look he saw the receptionists give people like they were tantruming toddlers. Danny was ready to fight for that man (Vlad was choking somewhere as the Fentons worriedly look at him).

Jason has heard about Danny Fenton a couple of times. Tim, Dick, and Bruce had mentioned him a lot. Bruce's new secretary that looked like he'd woken up from a coma and was comparable to a grumpy cat on his best days. He's seen the guy a couple times, noticed how he was almost as tall as Jason. Honestly, he kinda looked like a twig (but then that was because of Danny's suit that he made sure didn't completely fit him).

Seriously. Danny was willing to fucking fight anyone and everyone for Bruce Wayne.

The guy was strange. Very strange. Especially when the pits seemed to either become frantic or calm whenever he was around. It depended on the situation really, but mostly the pits grew calmer around Fenton. Like a cat that finally saw its favorite person. It was so weird.

He was drawn to Fenton, sometimes finding himself walking towards the man before he snaps out of it.

It's on this day where Danny was by Bruce's side, a stylus and tablet in hand. He was furiously tapping away at his phone, cursing under his breath about bothersome and stuck up cialiteses.

"Jason!" Bruce happily greets, "Don't mind Danny for a bit. He's telling of some investors for trying to meddle with the company. Tim is too sleep deprived to handle it."

"Where is Tim?"

"Danny threatened to throw the company's coffee maker out the window if he doesn't take a nap." Bruce chuckles, glancing fondly at his fiesty secretary. "Danny?"

"Give me a minute, Mr. Wayne. Some people are trying to squeeze into your schedule when I specifically told them that they can't." Danny says, clearly irritated but looks at Bruce with an apologetic gaze. "No—Mr. Luthor, neither Mr. Drake nor Mr. Wayne are available on that day—"

And it dissolved into Danny telling of what Jason assumes was Lex Luthor to stop his attempts. In other words, corporate for Fuck off.

"He's good, isn't he?" Jason humms as he follows Bruce down the hall, glancing at the tired employees that looked utterly exhausted and horrifically motivated. "Looks like adoption bait."

"Unfortunately, Danny is a very much against Billionaires adopting him. His godfather is one and has attempted multiple times." Bruce sighs, feigning a sorrowful look as he sends Danny a small pout. "What did you do when he tried the fifth time again?"

"I blew up his car, Mr. Wayne." Danny nonchalantly says, "But that only made him want to adopt me more."

Jason blinks, baffled before he's laughing at the utter absurdity of the situation.

"That sounds similar to—"

Gunshots tore through the air as people immediately screamed. At the entrance of the building was the Joker in all his insanity, guns blazing. Jason froze, sucking in a deep breath as he took one step back. They weren't in costume, they weren't the Red Hood and Batman in that moment.

"Nightwing, Robin, and Spoiler are on their way." Oracle says through the comms but that doesn't comfort him in the slightest.

It's chaos in moments and people are ducking their heads to avoid the bullets. Jason and Bruce look right at each other, taking cover as bullets ruin the walls and furniture. But Bruce is dragged from his spot, pulled towards the Joker who laughs maniacally as he pressed a gun against Bruce's head.

"Mr. Wayne!" Many people yell as they all stared in horror as the Joker threatens Gotham's beloved prince.

Jason immediately remembers an explosion and a crowbar.

(Reminder, Danny Fenton was very much ready to go to war for Bruce Wayne).

A tablet and a stylus was suddenly shoved into his arms. Jason blinks, turning to Danny who tugs at his tie and rummages through the counter for something. The Joker sees this, clearly irritated.

"You! Eyes on me!" The Joker practically demands, hysterical that not everyone was paying attention.

Danny apparently doesn't give a damn before looking the Joker straight in the eye.

"Eyes in me." Danny repeats.

A second later something was thrown and a cutter was cutting through the Joker's eye.

Jason gaped at the seemingly harmless secretary, unable to comprehend that this man had just thrown a fucking cutter into the Joker's eye.

Bruce is set free.

Everyone is frozen in place.

Everyone watched as Bruce Wayne's tired and overworked secretary beats the shit out of the Joker, saying something about how he wasn't going to lose a good boss.

No one particularly knows what to do once Danny pulls out the cutter with the Jokers blood and... Fucking shit, was that his eyeball?!

Dick and Damian arrived at some point, also too shocked to do anything. When Danny was done and satisfied, with the Joker still alive, groaning and whimpering from the pain that Danny inflicted.

As if he hadn't almost killed the Joker, Danny turns to them with a tired smile.

"Mr. Wayne, I implore you not to die. I can't lose the best boss that I've had." He plainly says and takes the tablet and stylus back from Jason.

Jason thinks he might just marry this feral man.

Yeah.

Yeah, he was definitely going to marry Danny Fenton.

Part 2 | Masterpost

[egophiliac]

still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)

anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)

[autumn-may]

Mostly spoiler free summary of my viewing experience

[umblrspectrum]

so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground

[lokh]

what if shuro took a lil longer to show up........

i also would have wanted to see shuro with a fuller beard but it would have taken too long in the story ;;

[daeyumi]

My piece for the Hyrule Fashion Anthology zine last year!!

My piece was based on mid-late 1910s fashion & I had a ton of fun designing everyone’s dresses 🧡✨ Design sketches under the cut~

tbh i am a bit sad i wasn’t able to show all the full designs in the finished piece but hey, i can always draw them again in the future, right?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The squad of all time has arrived on scene.

[apollos-boyfriend]

not to be that guy but it’s like. really telling the amount of support and attention has been given to like, tommy, dantdm, and jacksepticeye for calling out the lunchly members (logan paul, KSI, and mr beast) meanwhile rosanna pansino has been actively calling out mr beast’s abhorrent behavior for about a year now and she’s gotten virtually no support from the community despite the insane amount of (largely misogynistic) harassment she’s received for it. she’s one of the most vocal ccs against mr beast and the beast games, being in contact with over 200 contestants and using her platform to share their stories on a larger scale. it’s just really telling how the only cc who isn’t getting the spotlight and backing from the larger community is a woman