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nalanzu · 2 years ago

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Weiss Kreuz Episode 16: Schatten

We are REALLY due for a breather after the nonstop frenetic pace of high drama in the last several episodes. What we get is goats in the Swiss (?) mountains and three old people in a castle discussing, in Japanese, how Takatori of the Japanese Division fucked shit up but good as he was unreasonably ambitious. The Japanese Division needs reinforcements and it shall have them.

This show does not know the meaning of the word "pace."

We get Yohji walking arm-in-arm with a pretty woman, with Omi giving us a voiceover asking how he's been doing since Weiss dissolved.There is definitely the sense that some times has passed, although it could be days, weeks or months. It's hard to say with this show and how it treats time. Yohji immediately abandons his date upon seeing a woman with Asuka's face (as you will recall, his dead partner's name was Asuka). After he catches up to her, she takes off her sunglasses and he realizes it's not the same face after all. Despite initial accusations of the new lady - Kyoko - resembling an old friend, Yohji and Kyoko end up on a date. She wants to take him somewhere quiet.

Aya is the next one to get a check-in, as Omi wonders how the beach is treating him. I'm sorry, the words Aya and beach do not belong in the same sentence. I think my brain just glitched.

Omi is distracted from his letter-writing by his classmates discussing a serial kidnapper/murderer who tortures all his pretty young victims and has been stepping up the pace of his crimes. The girls in his class feel unsafe going out alone, which demonstrates once again that the writers are men. Women always feel like this, regardless of stories of serial kidnappers.

In any case, Omi feels the need to point out to Aya that bad shit still happens but since there is no Weiss any more, it's not his job to worry about it. Omi also asks about his sister, who has been transferred to another hospital, and gives him an update on how much Sakura misses him. Which is a lot. Stop trying to write this into a romance, ok, it is creepy AF.

The next morning, a classmate runs into shout that one of the girls in their class was kidnapped. The class dissolves into chaos, as they determine that they can't do anything to help. Omi doesn't like this. He asks for Ken's advice. Ken, who is coaching seven year olds to play soccer, says they're not Weiss and it's not their job, but he does notice someone spying on him from the trees.

Back to Yohji and his date, he can't help but marvel how much Kyoko resembles Asuka. She has vague memories of something like being close to a man like Yohji while Yohji notices there's a car following them to an abandoned cabin in the mountains. What woman goes to an abandoned cabin in the mountains on a first date so help me. Fucking male writers istg. The car has followed them all the way up, by the way, and the male driver stares at them.

After dinner and (presumably) sex, Yohji hangs out on the balcony and is nearly strangled with his own wire by a surviving member of Schreient. They only reason he survives is the stalker flinging a paper airplane at them. Kyoko aka Neu flees and he chases her.

Aya's turn to check in, and we see that his sister has been kidnapped. Her bed has been slashed in the shape of a cross. No blood, though, so presumably she wasn't in it while it was disfigured.

The cycle moves on to Ken, telling his rugrats that yes, they do in fact need to keep practicing. The basics are important, he tells them, and then they nearly get run over by a mack truck crashing past the guard rail. The driver is dead, strangled, and Ken remembers Schoen's whip. He immediately assumes he is the target as the rain begins to fall over his crushed soccer ball. Aw, Ken.

Omi walks through the rain wearing a truly awful brown sleeveless shirt and puffy green shorts while mentally picturing the kidnap victims. He arrives in the flowershop basement only to find everyone else already there in a stunning coincidence. Ken points out that he and Yohji were both attacked, and Yohji came back to pick up his weapon.

Aya refuses to tell anyone else why he's there, and Omi immediately assumes something has happened to his sister or he wouldn't be. Yohji blames Schreient. There is a bit of bickering, interrupted by the stalker from earlier dramatically walking down the stairs and announcing that the dark beasts have taken up a vendetta against Weiss again. Following him is a woman, not Manx, but with the same sense of dramatic business wear.

The Possibly Not A Stalker tells them that a huge worldwide organization is starting to cause problems in Japan. Weiss, perfectly reasonably, wants to know who the fuck he is; his codename is Botan. (The only non-cat codename so far. I feel like I remember him ending up dead.) The lady is Birman.

Apparently Kritiker has been searching for Weiss since Persia's death, because they want to reinstate the group. The kidnappings, Botan and Birman say, are only the start. I say that if Kritiker couldn't find their own damn operatives, I have a number of misgivings regarding their competency as an organization overall. In addition, I have Questions about the timing of all of them appearing in the basement simultaneously. I can buy Botan and Birman having followed Yohji and maybe noticing someone else wander in and maybe waiting to see if the rest of them showed up, but like, all four of them deciding within the same hour to go back to the flowershop? Really? REALLY?

I wish this show would hang a lantern on some of the harder to swallow point points, but it just skates right over them as if the viewer isn't going to notice. To be entirely fair, I may not have noticed many things that are currently bothering me when I watched it the first time. But seriously, Kritiker really couldn't find them? At all? Except Yohji? And now here they all are???

Weiss protests that they're not Weiss any more and this is therefore not their circus and also not their monkeys. Manx appears to tell Weiss that it is in fact their circus and the name of the circus is Estset. She has, by the way, switched out her red suit for a purple one and her ankle socks for thigh-high stockings, but she is STILL WEARING SOCKS WITH SANDALS.

Brief aside, by the way, all of Weiss has switched up their outfits. Omi's crop-top floofy vest and cargo shorts are absolutely awful, as is Ken's forest green bowling shirt with white sleeves and a white collar. Yohji has a perfectly decent tan jacket that I don't think I remember him keeping, while Aya is now in black head to toe. Aya and his sexy v-neck shirt comprise literally the only upgraded look in the room, who approved the rest of these designs.

Manx tells them that Kritiker is trying to figure out WTF is going on with Estset and that they are involved with the kidnappings, with Schreient, and probably also with kidnapping Aya's sister. As he will absolutely do anything that involves his sister, Aya is 100% on board with the idea of a new mission. The rest of them are pretty twitchy about it. It only takes a few seconds for all of them to go for a walk in their assassin outfits (which they were stashing where, exactly?), the other three catching up with Aya.

We've been getting brief flashes of the sort-of-crucified kidnap victims on a stage in what looks like a ritual sacrifice, by the way, and now they are surrounded by masked people in robes with candles talking about the return or summoning of something or other in order to make the pitiful humans pay. Weiss interrupts this sacred ceremony just before the kidnap victims can be set on fire, but the kidnappers have lighters as well as candles and nearly manage to burn their victims to death anyway.

None of those victims are Aya's sister. He does check. Weiss assassinates their targets in true dramatic fashion, still in the rain. Ken desperately wanted to disappear, to leave Weiss behind, by the way, while Yohji is more or less resigned and Omi is almost fervent in his desire to punish the wicked. Aya, as we all know, is composed almost entirely of a ball of obsession and whether or not he's part of a team of assassins is entirely dependent on his sister.

I have some concerns about Omi's mental state, honestly. He is VERY enthusiastic in what the show would like us to think is a frenzy of righteous passion and the pursuit of justice, but I also think that the snap decisions Weiss is used to making have the potential to not be the right decisions. The constant exposure to the apparent failing of the criminal justice system and acting as a tool to rectify that situation also seems emotionally distressing and draining, but Omi is almost happy. Definite cause for concern.

The Get The Band Back Together episode is, honestly, not particularly compelling for me. I felt that it relied heavily on circumstance and coincidence in order to achieve its goals, and neither the episode nor the characters did much work in returning to something resembling the status quo. I didn't hate seeing what the Weiss members were up to when they went back to being their own people, but I also don't think we learned anything about any of the characters.

The most surprising part of that particular interlude was Aya working construction; given that all he knows how to make is flower arrangements and corpses, it's not entirely shocking that he would end up doing what's generally regarded as low-skill manual labor, but I really would have guessed he'd go for something a little more outwardly romantic or dramatic. He's a very melodramatic kind of person. But, of course, he lives purely for his sister, so it tracks that he would do the absolute first thing that would net him income in the general vicinity of the hospital in which she's being treated.

Yohji's dates, Ken's soccer coaching, and Omi's classes don't really tell us anything new about the characters. We're checking in with them to see that they are exactly where we left them, with no growth or development. These segments don't get much room to breathe, either, with the frenetic pace established over the last several episodes not letting up in the slightest as it pushes our protagonists back together.

It occurs to me to wonder, incidentally, what the purpose of having Schreient go after Yohji and Ken was; in the Doylist sense, both men needed an external motivation to return to the flowershop or we don't really have a show (kidnapping Aya's sister did have an actual purpose, as I recall, but that's a plot point for later). In the Watsonian sense, why give these allegedly dangerous men a reason to get the gang back together? Why cause trouble for them when all it's going to do is put them exactly where they're not wanted, namely under Kritiker's control again? Takatori was fucked by his ambition, yes, but also because he pushed Weiss into a corner and they killed him for it. The fuck are you doing, poking the bear?

I also want to know how the hell they got out of the burning building. And then apparently fucked off into the night leaving no trace of themselves behind and no way to be found despite all staying in the general vicinity of where they were to begin with. But mostly, honestly, how they got out of the burning building this time. And last time.

#meta commentary #weiss kreuz #episode summary

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badmouthedmama · 7 months ago

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Third times a charm b****** check those pictures 🤣

Totally slept in today. I'd say it was because I was giving myself a little grace but I totally f****** turn off my alarm and pass the f*** back out.

How bitter sweet day it is my last double shift as a waitress at the 2 restaurants? I am so happy. It is a beautiful morning. The Sun shining on the beautiful mountains and the moon called on me.

Yesterday was a trip. I really don't f****** understand the dentist, go in like bro. You need to fix my s*** cause I'm still in pain and all he does. Is shave down a tooth? With one of his tools OK there you go should be good. Are you f****** kidding me? How's that even possible? Oh, the golden news. I have to start wearing a mouth guard. Because I'm grinding my teeth. And let me tell you that f****** terrifies me. My dad grindes his teeth when he's sleeping. It is the most awful sound in the whole entire world and the thought that I could start doing that. puke in my mouth. 🤮

So after the dentist I hauled a** home took a quick shower to wash my workout off and went to work and still absolutely love my new job. It's such a great change of pace. And most people are very happy. Then off of work, around town to pick up daughter next to the house. Other kid across town. Thankfully, he ended up having a sleep over. I expected it to be a busy night as usual. between dance and baseball and friends and sleepovers, but it ended up being pretty mellow.And I got some baking done.

Made for my boyfriend For his birthday and I text him I said just you know, I'm a Baker. Not a decorator so it tastes f****** amazing, but it looks like s*** LO.L

Lived in the Pacific Northwest. Almost my whole entire life. Hate the cold and hate the rain, but it's morning's, and it's in views like this that keep me around. It's so f****** pretty here and the fresh air. Can't beat it telling you, if you never got on an airplane and plumed to Seattle and got off the plane and taken the breath of fresh air, do it. You don't know what you're missing.

Wrapping up my walk, I'm gonna get in my car.Drive the cake over, leave it in the truck so that he has it for his family dinner tonight

Told my co-worker yesterday that I don't really dable. Ha ha ha, pun intended, so I picked up the equipment and gave it a shot. Now I gotta come up with a new acronym.

Also, it takes me forever to publish this.Because I talk to my phone on my walk.Apparently , I talk like a complete fucking idiot because it's nothing that I say. I literally had to figure out the very first statement because it said something about stephanie. I'm like Stephanie. Who the f*** is that b****

#TBGLU ✌️🌙

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themculibrary · 1 year ago

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Sexual Content Masterlist

After Hours (ao3) - OhCaptainMyCaptain steve/bucky E, 310k

Summary: Steve wishes Bucky wouldn’t look at him the way he does – a deliberate gaze, subtly digging his top teeth into that pouty bottom lip; following his every move like a lion watches a gazelle. It’s been going on for months, perhaps longer... Steve talks, and Bucky listens. Well, that’s the point – Bucky’s supposed to be listening. Steve’s just doing his job, after all… No harm in that.

The problem is that it’s no innocent gesture, the way Bucky will have the top of his pen tracing the outline of his mouth... It’s also not innocent at all when Steve turns to look out at the sea of heads while he’s speaking and catches the quickest glimpse of the brunet sneaking a peek at his ass. And Bucky doesn’t even pretend to be bashful about it. He just meets Steve’s eyes and smirks – just the tiniest hint of a thing.

Even bigger a problem than all that is how absolutely wrong it is. There are a million and one reasons why Bucky’s behavior is inappropriate, and why the way it makes Steve feel is even more inappropriate.

For starters, Steve is Bucky’s teacher.

Secondly, he’s only seventeen.

And If You're Watching, I'll Make it Good for You (ao3) - OhCaptainMyCaptain steve/bucky, bucky/steve/tony E, 5k

Summary: Tony’s almost at the door of his lab when he hears it. It’s low, throaty; just a split second of a thing.

But it’s undoubtedly the sound of Barnes moaning.

Bend Around the Wind (ao3) - Scyllaya loki/tony E, 403k

Summary: A few months after the battle of New York the God Loki appears back on Stark Tower under chaotic circumstances. This time however he is on the run. Tony Stark gets caught up in the crossfire and is taken along with the Aesir. Can the two of them ever make truce in order to get away? And even if they do, how does one escape from such a dark corner of the universe, when they are so very far away from the Nine Realms, that not even Loki knows the way back home. But first, they need to survive.

Deep in the Heart of Me (ao3) - Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) steve/tony, bucky/clint E, 244k

Summary: Veteran single dad Steve runs a tattoo shop. Pepper arranges for Tony to get that tattoo he always wanted, and he winds up with the mother of all crushes instead. Jumping out of airplanes is one thing, but love requires real courage. Steve struggles with letting someone into his life. Tony tries to keep his heart intact while Steve works on his issues.

Craving a realistic depiction of a romantic relationship featuring PTSD, mental health issues, and characters who discuss their problems? This might be for you. No magic fixes here but a happy ending is guaranteed!

Dishonor On Your Cow (ao3) -mandarou E, 111k

Summary: “Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

Don't Look Down (ao3) - NamelesslyNightlock loki/tony M, 256k

Summary: When forced to decide between the lives of Tony Stark and Iron Man, Steve Rogers chose wrong.

Tony is left to deal with the consequences, but it’s not like he’s helpless, and he certainly isn’t alone.

From You I Cannot Hide (ao3) - SailorChibi steve/tony, bucky/natasha, clint/phil M, 66k

Summary: Being a sub isn’t the worst thing in the world. Being a sub who doesn’t like pain, well. That’s just weird. A sub’s sole responsibility in life is to be anything and everything a dom wants, an open canvas for a dom’s brush, malleable and sweet. Obie taught him that, and that fear ultimately tears him and Pepper apart. So Tony hides his dirty secret and doesn’t sub for anyone now. But that doesn’t stop him from wanting.

Good Boy (ao3) - triedunture steve/bucky E, 13k

Summary: Bucky is still adjusting to life with the Avengers, and Steve is willing to do whatever it takes to make him feel comfortable. Increasingly, though, what seems to make him comfortable is strangely intimate.

Surprise, Steve! You're a gentle dom and Bucky wants to be your pretty pet!

Have you no idea that you're in deep? (ao3) - theladyingrey42 steve/bucky E, 3k

Summary: Bucky wanted Steve to understand. The future could feel fucking awesome.

At least when it was vibrating in your ass.

Heart of Fools (ao3) - Claudia_flies steve/bucky E, 55k

Summary: Bucky spots the leaflet under some old magazines as he eats. It’s crumpled and worn. He’s looked at it several times in the past seven months since he found it in the Omega center. It has pictures of smiling couples holding hands, sitting on picnic blankets under willow trees. They’re outlined by slogans like “Serve Your Country” and “Your Contribution is Needed”.

Never is a Promise (ao3) - manic_intent steve/tony E, 9k

Summary: Steve had to admit that he had some reservations about how the New Century handled the social balance between alphas and omegas.

Of Broken Dreams and Mended Hearts (ao3) - Kellyscams steve/bucky, peggy/gabe, clint/natasha, pepper/tony M, 354k

Summary: When the House of Barnes is left in massive debt after the death of George Barnes, their oldest son and heir, Bucky, is forced to sacrifice his own hopes and dreams by entering an arranged married to Steve Rogers. Steve seems kind enough, has a prominent job in the government, and was even voted Society's Best Catch. But the House Rogers is significantly higher in status than Bucky's family, which means Bucky is marrying up in Society, and marrying up doesn't only come with rewards, it also comes with certain...expectations and losses--some of which Bucky might be willing to do anything to avoid. And those opportunities might come his way.

Unless, of course, he actually starts falling in love with his new husband...

Soul Searching (The Hop, Skip, Jump Remix) (ao3) - navaan steve/tony M, 5k

Summary: Tony lives a peaceful life in Irondale and then Steve Rogers drifts into town. It's the beginning of a romance — and not all is what it seems.

spit your tongue out (ao3) - deathsweetqueen tony/sam E, 5k

Summary: Sam is the last to come out of the Quinjet when it lands, and he looks just as handsome as he was the last time Tony saw him, a little thinner, a little wearier, more lines in his face that comes from exile.

His lungs are in his throat the entire time, and when Sam finally looks at him, his face hollowed out, he’s absolutely terrified of what he might say.

Sam doesn’t say anything.

Such Sweet Revenge (ao3) - ali_aliska bucky/tony M, 167k

Summary: When the Rogues are back in the States after being pardoned, the New Avengers want nothing to do with them and as far as Tony is concerned, if he never speaks to them again, it'll be too soon. After all, he didn't spend the last year putting himself (and his family) back together only for his former co-workers to ruin all of his hard work.

But then he gets a hand-written letter from the Winter Soldier himself, apologizing for the events that transpired and an off-handed comment from Rhodey about Rogers failing to take care of an obviously miserable Bucky Barnes sets in motion Tony's new, oh-so-evil plan to get some payback.

After all, what better revenge than to steal the Winter Soldier away from his best friend?

The only problem: Tony sucks at being vengeful, but apparently he's an expert at inadvertently falling in love.

Third Wheel or 20 Dates (ao3) - cakeisnotpie clint/steve E, 9k

Summary: Steve and Clint are the third wheels around the tower. Basketball, classic movies, plays, and late night workouts ensue. Turns out, they may have been dating the whole time.

#themculibrary #mcu #marvel #masterlists #smut #sexualcontent #sexualcontent masterlist

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puffpasstea · 2 years ago

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Satellite

A/N: Thank you all so much for all the love on the previous chapter. Here's the next one. I LOVE hearing your thoughts, suggestions, and speculations about what's happening next. Please enjoy! And let me know what you think. Feedback is always very much appreciated!

Warnings: Angst, consumption of alcohol, drunk Harry.

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Chapter 5

I stood up in my seat, looking left and right as the house lights were dimmed in preparation for the screening to begin. I wanted so desperately to be out of here. To run and hide somewhere only I knew. I walked down the aisle, heading for the exit as fast as I could manage in my gown and heels.

“Psst. Wait! Where are you going?!” Harry whispered from his seat, two rows away, watching me with puzzled eyes.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry. I can’t open those doors.”

“ What? why not?! It’s- not an airplane! I just need to leave! You can close it right back behind me. Please- I- i'm not supposed to be here.”

“I’m sorry, just doing my job. I was told those doors don’t open until the end of the screening.”

Dejected, I apologized for trying to get the organizer to break the rules and went back to my seat.

Harry had turn around in his seat, his eyes were still on me. "You okay?" He mouthed, a frown on his face.

I shook my head reassuringly and gestured for him to just turn back around and forget about it. Reluctantly, he eventually returned his attention to the screen in front of him.

It was probably not a great idea to leave anyway. when I thought about where I might go, if I were to leave, my brain went blank. Everyone I knew in LA was in this room right now. Never, in my life, have I dreamed of finding myself in a situation where I’d be rounding up my acquaintances in fucking LA! Who- or what- have I become? How did I wake up and find myself here? In this massive dress, at this massive event. I don't even recognize myself anymore. It felt surreal to even be having this problem. What am I upset about?? Being written about in fucking gossip columns?? A few days ago, this never would’ve even been a reality for me. Everything seemed to happen so quickly. I could never live at this pace. The only person who knew what this felt like, and the only person who could help me make sense of it, was Harry. He was, conveniently, also involved in this whole fiasco. Though he was sitting just two seats ahead of me, and I could literally see the back of his head, he felt miles away. I felt trapped. Like a sitting duck. I threw myself back into the chair and waited. Waited for this night to be over.

I tried my best to focus my attention on the film, remembering that I’d never actually seen the fully formed and final product. While I was present for the filming of the major scenes, and I got to watch some director cut clips whenever my input was necessary, I had yet to see the entire film from start to finish. Now that I was finally about to see it, my mind brought me back to ten months ago. I recalled running lines with Christopher; watching Harry, Sienna, and Christopher rehearse scenes in their spare time; and going over the script with the actors and director to help explain the literary background to the text. Seeing these scenes from the perspective of an audience member gave me a new found respect for the process of filmmaking. Somehow, knowing how those moments actually came together in real life only made them more impressive to watch on film.

The time we'd spent together behind the scenes seemed so distant now. Early mornings playing music from Christopher’s playlist to keep myself entertained as he sat in the hair and makeup chair for hours, getting into character; or lunch breaks when Harry would share his food with me to make sure I was still eating even on my worst days. Everything seemed so small and manageable then. Despite all these having taken place on a giant film set, the fact that they were all actors; big, important stars with thousands of fans, was never a factor in how we interacted. Perhaps a testament to their humility, or the director’s commitment to creating a professional work environment, either way, I’d grown to feel as though my time on set was just a regular day at work. Now, though, everything felt so complicated. It was difficult to lose myself in the film, or even the memories that it had brought back to my mind. I had this nagging, paranoid feeling that I was being watched even in the darkness of the screening room. That my facial expressions, movements, actions were being photographed or recorded to be reported on for the whole world to see. My skin felt translucent. My thoughts and feelings were not my own. I was going crazy.

After the film had ended, the director and producer were invited to the front to say a few words about it. Their speeches, followed by more expressions of gratitude from Sienna and Harry, were generously received with several rounds of applause reverberating throughout the audience. Harry congratulated his co-stars and posed for group photos with the cast and director. I watched as he smiled, wrapping his arms around Christpher and Sienna. He looked right in his element. His joy reflected the pride he took in being part of this film and in working with people that he sincerely liked and respected. He and I were definitely living completely different lives. I could never do this. And, watching him tonight, witnessing how rewarding this all was to him, I wanted nothing to get in the way of his career. He deserved every bit of recognition and celebration that he was getting. I could never let my own anxieties, or the struggles of our relationship, get in the way of what he does and what he means to so many people. I’d never be able to forgive myself if I let us hold him back in any way. Though it broke my heart to stand on the sideways and watch him kiss Emma’s cheek and hold her hand upon returning to his seat, I knew that she was the better choice. She is a model; she already had a place of her own in his world. She wouldn’t feel like an outsider, always tagging along for his benefit. She's used to being in public, having countless eyes on her on a regular basis. Besides, there was already a history there. They’d been together before, she knew his friends, his family, the nature of his work, and she’d chosen to go back to him anyway. I can't replace that. They were meant to be.

The doors opened and people began to split into two groups: those we had gained the honor of being invited to the dinner reception were heading in one direction, while the rest of the audience headed in the direction of the main exit. I didn’t know if I wanted to stay, or if I should just leave.

“Please, Emma! Please! Just…wait for me. Okay? I’m not abandoning you. I promise. Please believe me? I just need- she just doesn’t- I-” Harry struggled to form a complete thought. I hated feeling like I was eavesdropping on their argument, but I felt too paralyzed to walk away.

“Just- wait." Harry wrapped both of his hands around hers, squeezing them earnestly. " Oh, I know! Chris can keep you company.” Harry tapped Christopher’s shoulder, asking him to step in and accompany his date to the reception. Though Christopher was slightly taken aback, he gladly agreed.

“Give me a few minutes. I’ll be right back. Okay?” Emma relented, giving Harry a quick peck on the lips before heading off with Christopher and promising to wait for him at dinner.

I felt Harry’s arm grab my shoulder as I headed for the exit. “Not this way. There’s a back exit.”

“What?”

“If we go out this way, there are gonna be people waiting on the other side with cameras and microphones and things. We’ll leave out the back.”

“Harry, we need to talk…” I followed after him like a puppy after its owner as he led the way through the emergency exit.

“I know.” We waited in the stairwell while Harry texted his driver to meet us at the back door.

“So you know about the- umm- about the-“

“The tabloid articles literally going up the second that we got here? Yes. And I’m dealing with it.” He explained that,though pictures can, and often do, get taken by just about anyone, they can’t be used in publication without his manager's approval, so he had a few choice words for his team.

“Is that what you and Emma were arguing over earlier?”

He nodded, searching his phone log for Jeff’s number. “I’m so sorry you’ve been put in this position. If I’d known…I’m just sorry.”

I could see the hurt in his eyes. He was genuine. My inexperience and inability to handle internet gossip had cast a dark cloud over what should’ve been his big night. He should be out celebrating his success in this film, and his big leading role, but instead, here he is, hunched over and hiding in a dark and dusty stairwell, waiting for his car to arrive to stealthily run away. None of this would be happening if I weren’t here tonight.

“Don’t be sorry, Harry. It’s not your fault. Just- take me home?”

He didn’t seem to hear what I said. “ Don't worry. Fixing it as we speak.” He pressed “call” on Jeff’s number and went into a heated discussion with his team.

"No, I'm still at the venue. Are you? Jesus, Jeff! Well, then whose fault is it? Stuff like this just doesn't happen. It's not about me, it's about my friend! She didn't sign up for this. It's her privacy."

From what I could understand, because Jeff needed to be present at the screening himself, he'd left someone else on the team in charge back at the office, and that's who must have okayed the photos, unaware of who the other faces were, they only focused on how Harry looked in them and let the whole thing slip by.

"Fine, we'll talk later." Harry signed deeply, pocketing his phone, and struggling to look back at me. “I'm so sorry. Ummm.. Just…lay low for a few days. The news cycle will move on eventually. Maybe try not to go online too much in the meantime.” He smiled nervously, his eyes scanning my face for signs of forgiveness.

“I’ll be okay. It's fine, Harry.”

"'S really not."

We rushed outside as soon as Harry received word that his driver had arrived. Harry held the door open for me, helping me into the car and tucking the ends of my dress safely in before climbing into the back seat next to me.

“I- don’t wanna make you late to the dinner thing, but, do you think the driver could maybe take me home?” I reached over to the driver's seat and told him to add the address to Harry's place.

“What? Why? No, you’re coming with me!”

“It’s just been a long night and I’m tired.”

“But, this is the fun bit. I promise! No more cameras and stuff. Just food, and everyone you know, and nothing else. I wanna celebrate, and I want you there with me! Please?” He reached for my hand as he spoke.

“Emma will be there with you.” I reminded him, doing myself to keep my expression positive.

The mention of her name caught him off-guard. The conflict was written all over his face.

“Want you there, too.” He mumbled, sitting back, his voice barely over a whisper.

“I think…it’s best for everyone if I’m not.”

“Are you- wait, you’re giving up on me? On us?”

“There is no ‘us,’ Harry. I don’t think there ever was.”

“You don’t mean that. Right? You can’t mean it. I know my not telling you about Emma was wrong, and I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t think you’d care. I didn’t know how you felt. Things are complicated right now. But I can fix everything! Please. Bare with me?”

I couldn’t stifle the bemused chuckle that left my lips. "complicated" was an understatement. He was talking about “fixing everything” as if we were a busted pipe.

Lost for words, I reached over and held the hand that he’d rested on his knee. “You’re gonna be okay no matter what, Harry. I'm sure of it.”

“N-no. Don’t.” he shook his head frantically. “Don’t do this. Please don’t. Just a few hours ago you said you wanted to be with me. I- I know the photos of us all over the internet are scary, believe me, nobody gets that more than I do.” He untangled his hand from mine and reached over to cup my cheek, his rings cool against my blushing skin. “I’ll do better from now on! I promise. You want me to get them scrubbed from the internet? I’ll call people! I can do that! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” With our faces now inches apart, I could see the tears forming in the corners of Harry's eyes. In all the time that I had known him, I'd never seen Harry so distraught before. It broke my heart into a million pieces, and just for a moment, weakened my resolve. I imagined an alternative world in which I'd cave, take his lips in mine, and change my mind, kissing him deeply and plunging into this with him. I wished, more than anything, to be the kind of person who could handle doing something like that. But, the sad reality is that he and I just aren't made for each other.

“Stop being so hard on yourself, Harry. You can’t fix everything; you can’t control everything. Some things are just irreparable, and that’s okay.”

He laughed in disbelief. “That’s bullshit. If I fucked it up, then it’s on me to fix it. I love you. Yes? I Love you. And you love me. Hmm? Shouldn’t that be all that matters anyway?”

“Sometimes love just isn’t enough.”

He sniffled, looking upwards to keep from crying.

I could see the lights of the Hotel sign getting closer. We were almost at the dinner reception.

Harry refused to let things go. He came back with another round of arguments. “I’ll break up with Emma. Tonight. I swear I’ll do it at dinner! Then we can go home together, and-”

I took his face in my hands and kissed his forehead. “She’s lovely, Harry. Perfect for you. Really. I mean it. You go in there and celebrate. Enjoy your night, with that brilliant, beautiful girl by your side. You’ve earned it. I’m just gonna ask your driver to take me home, okay?”

“So, what- you and I-”

“Are friends. Will always be. I’ll see you in the morning.”

***

Back in the safety and privacy of Harry’s home, I couldn’t wait to reach my designated guest room, upstairs, before I began taking my clothes off. I tossed my purse somewhere in the entryway and took off my shoes in the hall. Letting my dress hang on the back of the couch, in the living room, I threw myself, face first onto the plush love seat, my feet dangling from the armrest. The events of the day replaying in my mind. After the noise, crowds, and flashing lights I'd been plunged into, the silence of the house felt painful, so I turned the TV on for some background noise. Every time I blinked, the image of Harry's pleading eyes, inches away from me, flashed in my mind. I couldn't quite shake the doubt that I'd made the wrong decision. That I should be with him right now. That we should be together. Fantasy is a powerful thing. Even though every bone in my body knew that being with him could only end badly for both of us, I couldn't help but wonder what it'd be like.

Eventually, I made myself a nest of throw pillows and blankets, and at some point during the night, fell asleep in Harry's living room. I have no idea how long I'd been asleep for, but at about three in the morning, I heard several loud thuds outside, and the sound of footsteps approaching. If I hadn't been at Harry's place, secure with state of the art surveillance and 24/7 security, I'd definitely be panicked right now. I dragged my sleepy body over to the main doors, and looked on the camera screen. It was Christopher, Sienna, and the hollow shell of what once used to be Harry.

Harry was being propped up by both of his friends' arms holding and dragging him along. I wasn't sure if he was conscious. Frantic, I pushed the doors open and ran outside.

"What the hell happened? Is- is he okay?"

Upon closer examination, I saw that Harry was awake, and that he had a cast on his arm.

"Holy shit! What the fuck happened to your arm?"

"M-Matilda? Is that you? W-wait. that's not your real name. What was it again? S-something with an "A"? Anne! No, that's not it. Anne's my mom. Wait, is it?" Harry was babbling.

"He's too out of it." Sienna warned.

"He's- he should be fine. He's just drunk, and, well, maybe also a little high on pain meds." Christopher laughed. "Help us get him inside?"

Collectively, we managed to drag Harry's uninhibited form into the house and lay him down in the blanket nest I'd slept in. As soon as I was certain that he was safe and situated, I turned to his two companions.

"Someone wanna fill me in?"

Christopher and Sienna exchanged glances.

"What? Why are you looking at each other. Tell me what happened!"

"Well- We're not sure we know what happened...entirely." Sienna started.

"So, he, ummm...He skipped the dinner reception." Christopher tried to offer a synopsis. "Showed up to the afterparty drunk like a fish. His arm was bleeding. Was acting like an ass to his girlfriend or date or whatever, what's her name?"

"Emma" Sienna reminded him.

"What happened to his arm?"

"Who knows?" Sienna shrugged.

"It bled through the first half of the afterparty." Christopher giggled. "Sorry, it's not funny. It was terrifying, if I'm honest. Every time we or Emma tried to ask him about it, his story changed. First he said he punched a wall. Then he said he broke a glass? or a mirror fell on him? nobody really knows what happened but we eventually took him to the emergency room. It's in pretty bad shape. He may not pick up a guitar for a few weeks."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah, I'm not sure he fully understood that part. Might have to tell him that again once he's sobered up. And, well, I don't think he's gonna wanna talk to me."

"What the fuck happened at this afterparty?"

Christopher finally explained. He'd watched Harry behave like a complete jerk all night; he couldn't take it any more and he went to confront Harry. Christopher had yelled at him to stop wallowing in mistakes that were his own making, and to get up and do something to get his shit together. Harry, in distress, yelled back, telling him about what'd happened between us in the car ride over. Their yelling competition accidentally caused Emma overheard some of it, and everything went south from there. Harry, clearly couldn't, or chose not to, handle everything falling apart and everyone being so hurt by him all in one night. He decided he needed to do some more drinking and self-sabotage and ended up here.

I said nothing for a moment, simply watching Christopher and Sienna's tired faces and processing all the information they'd laid on me. Finally, I turned back to look at Harry's semi-conscious figure, slumped on the couch with his arm propped on a pillow.

"You guys have had a long night. I've got it from here"

"Are you sure?" Sienna put an arm on my shoulder.

"If you'd rather not be alone with him, we can stay." Christopher offered.

"N-no. It's okay. He's seen me through my lowest moments. I owe him this, at the very least. We'll be fine. You guys go."

"Alright, call us if you need anything."

Securing the gates after Sienna and Christopher had left, I went back to the living room and stood over the couch, looking down at Harry, unsure where to even begin.

"Harry, how are you feeling? What've you done with yourself?"

"I- uhhh" He seemed to lose his thought almost instantly. "I - think-" Hi reached out his one functioning arm, so I leaned over and eventually sat next to him to be within his reach.

"Tryin' to say I love you." He sat up, using the support of his pillows, and leaned over to kiss me. His soft, wet lips touching mine for a moment, I relaxed into the feeling before pulling away just as quickly.

"Harry, you're drunk. And high apparently."

#harry styles fluff #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #matilda #harry's house #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #satellite #hs3 #harry styles angst

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chthonic-cassandra · 2 years ago

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So, I read the first 10 Charlaine Harris Sookie Stackhouse books over the past month (interspersed of course with other books so I didn't lose my mind). I might read the remaining volumes eventually, but these were the ones I physically had in my possession.

I've been largely enjoying them, though the quality ebbs and flows and some of the books are so incoherently paced that they stop being fun and begin to become extremely difficult to get through. At their best, they strike a fine balance between vampire drama and quotidian detail, making good use of Sookie's almost absurdly optimistic narrative voice, which I think either charms you or drives you out of your mind.

(Representative episode: in book two, Sookie is traveling on a special vampire-accommodating airline to a job using her telepathic powers to assist a vampire leader in another state. She's never been on an airplane before, and tells us, the readers, how impressed she is at the politeness of the flight attendants and the beverages they offer. At length.)

It has something in common with both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Sunshine, all three of which were released roughly contemporaneously and center around a young woman with supernatural powers who is trying to live a normal life but has to deal with vampire drama. All three texts are interested in humor and horror, vampires and everyday life, abrupt tonal shifts. All of them try to keep vampires as horrific figures (to varying degrees) while also building in a vampire-human romance. I'm sure all three works were influenced by each other (Buffy and Angel get a direct nod in Harris' work), but there's something interesting about the convergence. Sunshine is very much my favorite, of course.

I still find Harris' direct analogizing of vampires to oppressed minorities in our world offensive, as I did when I first learned the premise of the books and tv show, though I've softened enough as a consumer of vampire media to be interested in it. The basic frame - something shifts in the world so that vampires no longer need to prey on humans to survive, and the question of how both they and the humans adjust to that - is an interesting piece of world-building.

I don't think Harris is always up to the task of grappling with the moral dimensions of it, of dealing with vampires who have killed many people no longer needing to. The books are at their weakest when Harris runs herself into a corner with the amount of violence that happens to, around, and by Sookie, when we as the readers are supposed to take some parts of seriously and shrug off others. I'd be interested in the darker version of the story, but wouldn't I always?

The vampire characters are often fun, though softened too much for my taste by the need to have Sookie be never too much in danger by characters we are supposed to like (Eric was more interesting when he was more of an antagonist; I suspect this is not an unpopular opinion among readers).

I have now gone back to the tv show, which I am finding more engaging after reading the books; a lot of this I think is about bracing myself for the sex scenes, which I found pretty unwatchable the first time I tried. The show is being rather more direct and intentional in how it deals with race and sexuality, though I am reserving judgement so far about how well it does at that.

The best part of the books by far is of course Queen Sophie.

#books #vampires #this is an absolute jumble of thoughts sorry

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solarwonux · 4 years ago

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Illicit Affairs || Jeonghan

lawyer!single father!jeonghan x laywer!f!reader x mentions of seungcheol x f!reader

w.c 9k (I WASN’T EXPECTING IT TO BE THIS LONG)

warnings: single father jeonghan, cheating, angst, cursing, smut, phone sex (kind off), Seungcheol is literally an asshole I’m sorry, fingering, slight oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex. (also I edited this in rush so I’m sorry for any mistakes)

note: Happy New Year, I decided to start this year off with a bang. Please enjoy I’m actually pretty proud of this one so let me know your thoughts. Also this is kind off a continuation of my other fic: In Another Life, so if you wish to know a little more about the relationship between Jeonghan and the reader be sure to check it out. If not enjoy :)

masterlist

“Are you sure you don’t need a ride home?”

Jeonghan came up beside you, rolling the small suitcase you had taken on your week long business trip beside you putting a gentle hand on top of your shoulder making you jump. “No it’s fine Seungcheol said he would pick me up.” You nodded grabbing the strap of your falling purse and placing it onto your shoulder again. “Bomi is waiting for you, so you should go home.” You smiled fishing your phone from your purse hoping to see the on my way text from your fiancé. Instead it sat empty with the picture of you and Seungcheol the day he proposed staring back at you.

“She’s staying at my mom’s. I won’t pick her up until morning.” Jeonghan quirked an eyebrow watching as you stared at your phone screen hopelessly. Your grip getting tighter and tighter each second that passes. “I can take you home, it's really no big deal.” He reassured and moved his hand away from your shoulder before stuffing it in the pocket of his long black coat.

You ignored his offer unlocking your phone and clicking on the message app, revealing the thread of texts between you and Seungcheol. The last one he had sent before he ghosted you for the remainder of the week was that he loved you and that he would see you at the airport when you got back. That was on Wednesday, it was now Friday and he was nowhere to be found. With a deep sigh to keep yourself from growing frustrated you sent him a quick text asking him if he was on his way before locking up your phone again and throwing it into your purse.

“I’m sure he’s stuck in traffic. I'll be fine, you should go home, you haven’t gotten any sleep because of the time differences.” You waved a hand dismissing all his offers before grabbing your suitcase handle and rolling it closer to your body.

There was no doubt in your mind that something was wrong. That something had been seriously wrong for the past three months as Seungcheol started distancing himself from you more and more each passing day. You figured it was the stress of his new very taxing job as well as the wedding planning and the bi-monthly trips to the New York firm that Joshua had you and Jeonghan going too. You could only hope that it was just a small bump in the road. That’s everything would go back to normal now that you wouldn’t have to go on another one of these trips until February.

“Last chance, take it or leave it I’ll even throw in a burger from that fast food place that you like.” Jeonghan winked, bumping your shoulder against his. “I know you’re hungry, you didn’t eat any of the airplane food.” His voice lowered with concern and your grip on your suitcase handle only got tighter.

He was right you were starving but you were looking forward to going to the 24-Hour diner by your and Seungcheol’s loft just like you had for the past three years whenever either one of you got back from a business trip. It had become some sort of tradition in your relationship, but now as you searched the crowd for your missing raven haired fiancé you weren’t sure if you even wanted the M&M pancakes the two of you always shared. Or the burger Jeonghan was offering because something was wrong and your gut was sending the warning flare signal all throughout your body.

“Temping, but I’ll pass. Now go home before I call Joshua and beg him to let me switch partners again.”

“You’ve been trying for five years darling, and look at where it’s gotten us.” He smirked, taking his hands out of his coat pocket and placing them on top of his suitcase handle. “But since its two in the morning and Joshua would murder us if you called him for such a trivial thing. I will leave, but I’ll stay close by just in case Seungcheol doesn’t show up.”

You rolled your eyes before playfully shoving his shoulder causing him to stagger back dramatically, a scoff leaving his lips. “Yoon Jeonghan go home, I’m serious.” You crossed your arms in front of you as he raised his hands up in surrender.

“Fine, but text me when you get home okay. I don’t like leaving you alone at this time at night.”

“I’ll be fine, he’s just stuck in traffic.” You said. Jeonghan shook his head before turning around and waving you goodbye. His face full of concern as he started walking away, carefully dodging the small crowds of people that had gathered in reunion. You raised your hand and waved back until he disappeared out of the airport.

It was two in the morning, there couldn’t possibly be any traffic but it was the excuse you decided to go with because it was better than admitting the truth. Something was wrong and it terrified you knowing that you had an ideas as to what it was.

The second your apartment building came into view your stomach dropped.

You had waited outside of the airport for thirty minutes. Texting Seungcheol repeatedly asking where he was. The last message he had sent to you on Wednesday haunted you as you read the words he had written over and over again whenever you sent him a new message.

I love you.

The doubt slowly crept in as you shoveled the fallen snow around the concrete pavement with the toe of your boots. Did he still love you?

For months, Seungcheol had been acting strange. His smile didn’t reach either side of his face, he didn’t laugh at your obscure little habits or antics. He didn’t look at you like you were the delicate flower amongst the sea of dead weeds. He was there with you, sharing the same roof but he wasn’t present in any sense of the word. Every time he came home he ignored you and went straight to shower or bed. He had started to pick fights with you more often. Before you left he had blown up on you in the middle of the night because you had left the bedroom window open. He had never once minded before because he knew you did it on purpose, so that when the two of you slept he would hold you closer than usual to keep you warm.

Though instead of holding you close that night he had yelled at you and went to sleep on the couch. Leaving you alone with tears pooling in your eyes and in the cold. You had felt that exact way as you waited for your uber to arrive and now that you were standing in front of your apartment building, gripping your suitcase handle as you pathetically competed in a staring contest with the entrance. The gnawing in your stomach growing to the point where you felt nauseous.

You contemplated calling another uber and just have the driver keep you company as you settled your overflowing thoughts. Over thinking never got you anywhere you wanted. And right now your head was a pool of doubt consumed by all the scenarios you didn’t want. For your sake and his you hoped he had fallen asleep waiting for your plane to land because if any of the scenarios that were currently playing in your head ad you made your way into the building and towards the elevator; you knew you would never be able to recover it.

With a shaky finger you pressed the number four in the keypad, watching as the elevator doors closed, shutting you out from the outside world. In seconds when the same doors opened again, revealing the narrow hallway that led to your studio apartment, you’d finally know the truth. One you had been ignoring for months on end because you knew, no you hoped Seungcheol still loved you.

Maybe he still did. Maybe you were overreacting but you had this horrible habit at never trusting your gut when it was always right and something deep inside you was telling you that you were. That what you had perceived was happening was the truth and that now all you needed to do was rip it apart like a bandaid. Dwell in the pain for a while and then move on like it never happened.

After all he had started to act like you didn’t exist anymore.

The elevator doors opened at an agonizing pace, the scene playing out almost too perfectly that it was nauseating. You didn’t even have to step out and walk a couple of steps to the right for you to see what was happening right in front of you. Seungcheol’s eyes bulged out of their sockets. His mouth falling agape before the doors could finish doing what they were meant to do and the anger inside of you built to the point you were sure fire was coming out of your ears.

You were right.

In front of you stood Seungcheol with bags under his eyes, his hand encased with someone’s that wasn’t yours. She was pretty, prettier than you could ever be, but that wasn’t what had you fuming. It was the fact that she was here in your building, in your hallway. You wondered how many times she had been here before reliving this same scenario. You wondered how many times she sat on your couch pressed to his side? How many times had she laid in your bed underneath him? How many times she had used your bathroom along with your things after nights of utmost pleasure? Seungcheol was a good lover, you'd give him that much but he had always been a shitty liar so he had to have known that whatever fantasy world he was living in, would come to an unpleasant end.

“Excuse me.” You said gripping your suitcase handle until your knuckles turned white and walked past the lovely couple. You could feel the panic radiating out of Seungcheol’s pores and you tried to keep yourself from laughing the bitter laugh that was bubbling up in the back of your throat. The warning Jeonghan had given you three years ago when Soonyoung had first introduced you to Seungcheol hummed softly in the back of your mind as you approached your wretched apartment.

“Be careful, he’s not someone that’s capable of love.”

Your body had gone into autopilot the minute you stepped out of the elevator and entered the place you once called home. You didn’t notice the spent sheets lazily thrown in the overflowing laundry basket nor the messily knocked over wine bottles on the coffee table. Your main priority in your fevered state was to get as much as you could before Seungcheol came back with the excuses he came up with during the five minutes it took for the old elevator to reach the fourth floor.

When the sound of the door shutting rang through the heavy air surrounding your old apartment you knew you had failed. You stopped dead in your tracks dropping the pile of clothes you had chaotically fished out of one of your dresser drawers and met Seungcheol’s unreadable expression. For some reason, even though you had a hole in your chest. You didn’t feel any sadness, just anger. Seungcheol’s indifference smugly painted across his face only made you boil inside.

“What are you doing?” Seungcheol’s voice sounded richotteing of the plain walls and into your chest making the hole inside of you grow deeper. The two of you stood in the middle of the messy hallway. Clothes that didn’t belong you where all over the room in what seemed to be a hasty frenzy. It was like he had started to replace you already with someone who in his eyes was obviously better than in you every syllable of the word.

“That’s a stupid question Seungcheol.” You scoffed and leaned down to pick up the pile of clothes you had dropped. “I’m obviously not wanted here anymore so I’m leaving.” You rolled your eyes and walked past him bumping your shoulder against his, making him stagger back slightly. You reached the dining room table where you had sprawled open your suitcase and stuffed in the clothes in your arms before turning to face him.

Your mind must have been playing tricks on you because you saw a small flash of fear dance around his irises before it was replaced with the same indifference you were met with before. “Don’t go, I can explain.” He closed the gap between the two of you. He raised his arms hesitating before putting his warm palms against your shoulders. The air in your lungs caught itself in the back of your throat when you felt the heaviness of his touch seep through the cotton of your winter coat. Now that it had been corrupted by the touch you had once burned brightly underneath, you wanted nothing more than to to peel it off as if it were your second skin.

“Don’t touch me Seungcheol, I don’t want your excuses.” You spat out slapping his hands and walking past him.

“She doesn’t mean anything to me please let’s just sit down and we can talk about it.” He voiced, the broken lint cracking through his poker face. He begged following you into the room. He cringed at his clothes hanging out from closed drawers, the unmade bed and the overpowering smell of roses that didn’t belong to you.

You ignored him opening up another drawer grabbing everything that belonged to you and leaving behind everything that didn’t. “There’s nothing to talk about you cheated on me and probably have been for months now. The damage is done. End of story Seungcheol.” You slammed the drawer shut and moved past him, he caught your arm forcing you to turn around at lightning speed. Water was now spilling down the corner of his eyes as he finally realized that the fantasy he had been living under was simply just a fantasy. That his reality was staring back at him with dull and broken eyes.

It broke him.

You had hurt him in the same ways he had been hurting you. At least that’s what he told himself three months ago when you had left with Jeonghan to New York for work again. When he walked into the bar and met her three beers in. When he brought her home that night and all the other nights you were away. You were cheating too so why should he be the only to suffer if he could make you suffer the same he was.

“Does it matter, you’ve been cheating on me longer than I have been on you.” He spat letting your arm go making you stagger. Your back hit the closet door as you stared at him in disbelief. You blinked rapidly making sure you had heard him right, a nervous laugh bubbling in the back of your throat.

“I-I’m not and I have never cheated on you what the hell Seungcheol.” You clutched the few t-shirts you were holding against your chest, “Where is this coming from?”

“Jeonghan, you’ve been seeing Jeonghan behind my back for months now.” He yelled making you flinch. He raised his arms before bringing them down and running his hands desperately through his jet black hair. “I’m not an idiot, I saw the texts where he told you that you couldn’t tell anyone your secret.” He sat down at the edge of the bed, head in his hands as he tugged at his roots. The weight of his illicit affair finally weighed heavy on his shoulders.

You threw the shirts you were holding in his direction, missing him completely, “You are anidiot Seungcheol, I’ve never once kissed or slept with Jeonghan before. He just got divorced, his wife left him with a four year old. It’s none of your business but the big secret we kept was him taking his daughter to work when Joshua was out of town because she was sick.” You yelled, the anger you had felt for him earlier spilling out of your ears. “God, why didn’t you just come and talk to me about it, why did you have to go and ruin everything?”

Revenge was never sweet and he was getting a taste of his own medicine.

Seungcheol had fucked up he knew it the second his lips met the women he had met at the bar. Yet, he had somehow convinced himself that he was right all along. Now as he heard the sincerity spill out of your perfect lips he realized how wrong he had been for three months on end. He had ruined a future so sweet it gave him toothache whenever he thought about it and nothing he could say or do would fix the damage he had done.

“I never want to see you again.” You whispered, bringing your hand up to your chest as you slowly removed the diamond ring from your ring finger, the last thing keeping you connected to him. He had made you a promise one you never saw him fullfilling.

Almost as if on instinct, Seunghceol raised his tear stained face. The panic ran through his once soft features as you placed the ring he had given you on top of the wooden dresser. It was over, he had known it the morning after he had sinned.

He’d have to endure the consequences of his actions by himself because you were two feet out the door with almost all of your belongings including his heart.

“I think the coffee machine is broken, again.” Jeonghan spoke as he walked into your shared office with two styrofoam cups, “I got us hot chocolate instead.” He boasted proudly as he set the steaming cup on top of your desk.

The moon had been larger than usual tonight, so, as Jeonghan honorably offered himself to go get the two of you some coffee from the machine in the employees lounge. You had taken it upon yourself to give your brain a well deserved break after hours of looking over the cases Joshua had given you and Jeonghan before he left earlier.

Joshua was quite possibly the best boss you could ever ask for. He gave out paid vacations to all his favorite employees, which was all of them. And gave some of the best advice known to men. But he was also sneaky and did possibly everything in his power to keep you and Joenghan at the office after hours and alone. You weren’t sure what kind of game he was playing nor had you cared at first but after Jeonghan’s nasty divorce. His game became even more obvious. You had called him out on it one afternoon when it was just the two of you in the employee lounge. With a knowing smirk he had refuted your claim. Though when he walked out with a jump in his step and whistling an unfamiliar tune you knew you had been right and that he wasn’t going to stop his scheming any time soon.

His wingman tendencies became more heightened when he had noticed your missing engagement ring three days ago. Joshua had cornered you in his office before closing that night causing you to embarrassingly break down in one of his lounge chairs in front of his desk. Since then he had given you and Jeonghan an unbearable amount of work and it made you feel terrible.

Jeonghan had a four year old that needed all his undivided attention. Everyday Jeonghan would rush to pick her up from school, sometimes leaving work unfinished when he realized he was running a few minutes late. Most of the time he brought her back to the office when his mother or sister were too busy with their own lives to look after her for a few hours. She would end her days falling asleep in her uncomfortable school uniform on the couch of yours and Jeonghan’s office. He then would carefully move her to the couch in Soonyoung’s office so your baseless bickering wouldn’t disturb her peaceful slumber. When you brought up your concern to your lovely boss he had simply brushed it off because apparently Jeonghan didn’t mind. Though the miniscule stress lines breaking through Jeonghan’s face and the light bags under his eyes indicated otherwise.

“You’re thinking again, is it Seungcheol. I know something happened because you haven’t been wearing your ring lately...and you haven’t complained once about working overtime...” Jeonghan’s voice sounded causing you to plant your feet back onto Earth’s surface. “you can tell me if anything’s wrong. Joshua’s usually the one with top tier advice but I can try my hand at it. So go on what stupid fight did the two of you get into this time?” He finished leaning back in his desk chair, arms crossed in front of him as he eyed you closely.

“You should go home, I can finish up here. Bomi needs her bed...you need your bed.” You sighed swirling the steam from your hot chocolate over your index finger. Jeonghan was the only one who didn’t know about Seungcheol’s affair. It wasn’t like many people knew just your parents, Joshua and Soonyoung since you were staying over at his place for the time being. But Jeonghan didn’t know and you didn’t want him to know. He wasn’t the biggest fan of your ex fiance and he had warned you numerous times, but you didn’t listen.

After everything you had gone through an I told you so from your best friend would be the unpleasant cherry on top.

“Stop changing the subject. He’s been calling you non stop for hours and you’ve ignored him. I don’t really care about what happened because I’m sure it’s nothing, but your ringtone is driving me crazy.” He joked dramatically, picking up his own cup of vending machine hot chocolate and brought it up to his lips.

You placed your palm on top of your cup, trapping in the steam. The heat danced around your cold palm warming you up before you officially turned to face your nosey partner in the crime. “I left him.” You breathed out. Jeonghan’s eyes grew wide as saucers as he uncrossed his arms and slowly rolled himself and his chair around his desk and towards yours. “He had been seeing someone else for months and I caught them the day we came back from New York.”

“I knew I should’ve taken you home that night.” He grumbled placing both his hands on either side of your chair turning you to face him. Your panicked expression met his angry eyea causing chills to run up your spine. “He had been acting like an asshole lately and I knew something was wrong. I just told myself not to get involved because I knew it would piss you off, but now I wish I did.” He took your hands in his and placed them on top of your lap. You could feel him shaking and it reminded you of the day Bomi’s mother had left the two of them. The anger he was feeling now you had felt it then too.

“Jeonghan it’s okay, it’s my fault I should’ve listened to you when you said he wasn’t a good person then and I should’ve said something the minute I suspected something was wrong. I was just too delusional living in my own world and planning my wedding that I was afraid of being right.”

He gripped your hands tightly nd shook his head. “Don’t ever say that, it’s not your fault, he hurt you. He choose to fuck someone else not once but for months right?” You nodded biting your bottom lip hard enough to almost draw blood as an attempt to keep yourself from spilling tears. You had cried enough nights over Seungcheol. He didn’t deserve your tears nor your heartbreak.

“He thought I was cheating on him with you.”

Jeonghan chuckled, shaking his head before letting out a deep disappointing sigh. “Where are you staying, not with him right?” He laced your fingers with his and placed your hands on his lap.

“With Soonyoung he lives the closest to my old place so I just ran to him.”

“Soonyoung knew before me?”

“And Joshua and my parents.”

Jeonghan looked up towards the ceiling taking a deep breath. “How are your parents?”

“Dad wants to kill him, mom has been trying to calm him down the last few days before I move in with them for the time being.”

“I knew I liked your dad for a reason. Might have to call him tomorrow so we can plan our crime.” Jeonghan smirked, trapping you and your chair between his legs. The last time the two of you had been this close was when he had cried in your arms on yours and Seungcheol’s couch, after he came home to find Bomi alone in her room with divorce papers on her dresser and all of his ex wife’s belongings gone. It had made your heart race then but you had blamed it on your anger. Now as you stared into his warm eyes with your heart against the base of your throat you thought that maybe you had been wrong then.

“And mom and I will hold the two of you back, if not we won’t be visiting you guys in jail.”

“I won’t go to jail. I’m a hot shot lawyer, haven’t lost a case yet I think I can represent myself and your dad and win.” He winked. He had started to lean in closer. The sensation of thumbs running soothingly across the palm of your hands didn’t help your beating heart.

“Maybe this is the case that will finally bring you back down to Earth.” You shoved him lightly as an effort to make space between the two of you. Your efforts were deemed as unsuccessful as he didn’t budge.

You and Jeonghan silently stared at each other and you hoped he couldn’t hear the hitches in your breathing. Slowly, he leaned in and before you could process what was happening his lips were on yours catching you by surprise. He moved them slowly, warming you up until you finally caved in and kissed him back. He smiled letting go of your hands and placed them on top of your knees, trailing them up your thighs until they found purchase against your hips and brought you close. He stopped kissing you for a second, giving you the choice to stop but when you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close, kissing him feverishly, he responded with the same amount of heat you were giving him.

Year’s ago at an old musty bar in New York, Jeonghan had confessed that he had once harbored deep feelings for you. It was also the day you found out he was engaged to Bomi’s mom and the day you choose to push your feelings for him aside and move on. Tonight, those dormant feelings returned, along with the fire that accompanied them. You were desperate and needy to act up on them and now that you could, you didn’t want to stop. The feeling of his long crooked fingers traveling up thighs and pushing the fabric of your cream colored sweater dress up with them, made you want him more.

“W-Why...did you wear tights today?” He groaned and whispered against your lips making you giggle. He rested his hands against your butt, giving it an experimental squeeze before guiding you onto his lap.

“It’s winter, I don’t want to die of frostbite.” You smiled down at him before pecking his lips repeatedly. Your body had gone untouched for months but it felt like it was burning brightly underneath the light of the moonlight.

“I can just keep you warm.” He winked one of his hands traveling to the front of your body. His finger teasingly playing with the hem of your black sheer tights, itching to make you feel loved and beautiful just like you deserved.

You shook your head at his innuendo before leaning down to kiss him again. Just when your lips were about to connect with his, Seungcheol’s ringtone started ringing. Jeonghan groaned in annoyance. “I told you your ringtone was annoying me.” The arm balacinging you on his lap pulled you closer. He attached his lips on to your neck again, biting down on your earlobe, a tiny almost inaudible moan escaped your lips. He let go of the hem of your leggings, the band slightly ricochetting of your skin making you suck in a breath. He retreated his lips and smirked before leaning over your body and grabbing your ringing phone, Seungcheol’s contact name blinking on the screen of your home page.

“Answer him angel.” He said handing you your phone before pecking your lips lightly.

“W-What.” You took your phone in your hands and stared down at Seungcheol’s smiling face.

“You said he thought we were seeing each other behind his back. Why don’t we prove his theory sweetheart.” Jeonghan took your phone and pressed the answer button an evil glint glimmering behind his eyes, “this way I don’t have to commit murder.”

“B-Baby I’m sorry for what I did and for what I said this morning p-please come home.” Seungcheol’s desperate voice came in through the speaker of your phone. Jeonghan sat back smugly holding on to you tightly as he urged you to speak.

You swallowed thickly before opening your mouth, his mouth coming into contact with your cheek while he slowly raised your dress. “I-I’m not coming back Seungcheol, you fucked up.” Your arm around his neck loosened up. He brought your dress over head and threw it off to the side.

“I-I know, I-I know but I love you so much. I promise it won’t happen again just please come h-home.” Seungcheol’s voice breaks at the end making Jeonghan roll his eyes. There was not a doubt in your mind that Seungcheol was being as honest as he could be but he had broken your trust. He had chosen to sleep with someone in your shared home on your shared bed instead of sharing his falsely created suspicions with you.

“Cheol, I’m sorry,” Jeonghan’s hand trailed up your bare back and unhooked your bra. A small inaudible gasp left your mouth at the feeling of your freed your breasts, his mouth watering as his need to please grew. “I-I don’t trust you anymore.” He wrapped his lips around your nipple, swirling his tongue around it slowly. Your phone fell from your hand and onto your laps. You arched your back, pulling his head closer, your fingers hastily finding the top button of his dress shirt. Seungcheol was long forgotten as you quickly unbuttoned Jeonghan’s shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. The smoothness of his heated skin, underneath your palms made you desperate to feel more of him against you.

“I’ll do anything I just need you to come back, you’re my everything.” Seungcheol all but begged as Jeonghan released your nipple and grabbed your phone from where it had fallen. He placed it on our desk before standing up and sitting you on top of it. He leaned down running his tongue over the shell of your ear, giving your temple a slight kiss, “keep talking to him angel, let him know I’m here that he lost the best thing he could ever have.” He whispered before leaving kisses down your body and pushing your legs open.

Seungcheol was rambling but you were so focused and in tune with how soft Jeonghan’s lips and hands felt against your body that you had forgotten about him.

Jeonghan kneeled down in front of you, sending you a wink before grabbing the crotch of your tights and ripping it apart, “Jeonghan what the fuck?” You yelled and lightly flicked his forehead making him laugh.

Seungcheol stopped his incoherent rambling “Jeonghan is there?” The venom laced in his voice was prominent which only made Jeonghan laugh making his presence obvious and known. They were friends once, had gone to school and law school together. Had even talked about opening up their own law firm together after graduation. But Seungcheol had betrayed Jeonghan in ways you didn’t know as neither of them liked to talk about it. They had only tolerated each other because of back when Seungcheol was still your fiance and Jeonghan was only your coworker. Obviously that line had been crossed tonight the second you opened your mouth and Jeonghan’s hands found yours.

“Umm, I mean Joshua left us a lot of paperwork so we--”

“I’m going to make love to her and treat her the way she deserves to be treated.” Jeonghan spoke, cutting you off. He stood up, his hands planted in between your legs. He sent you a knowing look before moving your panties to the side. His index finger moved up your slit, a sound of approval left his mouth when he felt how wet you were. “She’s so wet, I bet if I wanted I could just slip right in and she’d be so tight around me.”

“Jeonghan, mmh...stop.” You parted your legs further, going against your own words. There was just something about having Seungcheol on the other side of the line as someone else had their hands all over your body that turned you on even more. Maybe it was some sick form of revenge, but you were ready to succumb to Jeonghan completely if he continued to touch in the way you had been craving for months now. The vibrator he had jokingly gotten for you as your secret santa gift three years ago, had not been enough. You needed more.

“I don’t think you want me to angel,” he inserted his finger inside of you. A choked moan left your parted lips as you arched your back. “It’s a shame you fucked up Seungcheol, I bet she looks so pretty when she cums.”

“I was right. I knew you were cheating on me with Jeonghan. You’re a fucking li-”

“Actually this is the first time we’ve ever stepped over our boundaries. She was telling you the truth...you’re just an idiot.” Jeonghan moved his finger inside of you slowly. He felt around your velvet walls teasingly before inserting a second finger, stretching you out a little further. Opening you up for him. “Isn’t that right angel?” He raised an eyebrow before picking up the pace of his fingers. You gripped his arms, digging your nails into his skin as you felt the slight pleasurable pain course throughout your body.

“Y-Yes, mmh...fuck Jeonghan, yes.” You bucked your hips against the palm of his hand. Your clit lightly brushes up against ot making your body jolt, as his pace and your pleasure increased.

“I-Is this why you r-refuse to fight for us, because you want to be a slut and fuck Jeonghan without feeling guilty.” Seungcheol scoffed and Jeonghan rolled his eyes. The coil in the pit of your stomach tightened up and you found yourself getting lost in the delicious pleasure Jeonghan was giving you rather than Seungcheol’s words. The moment you walked out on him he stopped mattering and you couldn’t be happier. Especially if the outcome was with Jeonghan and Bomi.

“Are you close baby? Are you going to cum for me so Seungcheol hears how good I make you feel? Jeonghan rolled his palm against your hardened nipple, his thumb circle around your clit adding to the pleasure his fingers were giving you.

“Fuck, y-yes...I’m going to come for you Jeonghan.” Your fingers threatened to break the surface of his skin and with one final thrust of his fingers you gonat came around then moaning out his name. He helped you ride out your orgasm mumbling praises against the crown of your head. Before taking out his glistening fingers making you whine. He raised fhem up to his lips and wrapped his tongue around them sensually, sucking them clean.

You were panting, your chest heaving against his as you tried to catch your breath again. “Choi Seungcheol are you still there?” Jeonghan asked, making you roll your eyes, you buried your head in his chest, running your down the smoothness of your back. “She looks like a fucked out work of art right now and I’m not even done with her yet.”

“Whatever, I hope you enjoy my sloppy seconds, she’s incapable of being loved anyway.” Seungcheol’s words tugged at your heartstrings and you could feel the anger radiating from Jeonghan's heated body.

“Fuck you Seungcheol.”

Jeonghan carefully laid you down on the couch of your shared office, peppering kisses down your body. After Seungcheol hung up, an overwhelming and heavy silence surrounded the two of you.

“Do you regret it?” He buried his head into your neck. His hands that had devilishly devoured your body five minutes ago, hoovered over your lower back. His voice small, trapped in the back of his throat as he melted in your arms.

“Leaving him?” You questioned and moved your fingers down the smoothness of his back. “I don’t, I don’t regret leaving him.”

“No that,” He raised his head. His gaze burning intensely in yours, “me touching you do you...do you regret it?” Jeonghan finally touched you again, his cold touch sent shivers up your spine. He smiled tugging a strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb running over your earlobe gently before resting them against your cheek.

“No, I don’t regret it whatsoever.”

“Good because I don’t want to stop touching you.” He closed the tiny gap between the two of you and kissed you gently. He ran his hands down the side of your body before hooking his thumbs underneath your torn tights. You giggled against his lips remembering how he had impatiently torn them. He leaned back against heels and helped you remove them before tossing them elsewhere. You leaned up against your elbows, watching as he lustfully moved his hands up your legs slowly.

“I meant what I said, I’m going to treat you like the angel you are.” He whispered and took off your black laced panties throwing them behind him. He held your legs open before kneeling in between them “You’re beautiful.” He whispered leaving kisses up your thighs, stopping in front of your pussy. “I’m going to devour you.” He mumbled before running his tongue up your slit. You moaned arching your back, your nipples getting harder against the cool air of your office.

“Jeonghan, w-wait.” You mumbled getting lost in the way his tongue moved against you, “no one’s ever done this before.” You confessed, threading your fingers with his dark locks pulling him closer.

He looked up at you, wrapping his arms around your thigh and brought you closer to his mouth. He moaned, wrapping his lips around your clit, sucking harshly. His gaze found yours, the way you were looking at him, overcome by pleasure, made his heart sore.

He sucked, humming when your hips started bucking against his mouth indicating that your orgasm was nearing. If he could he would’ve stayed in between your legs for hours, especially after finding out that no one had ever given in to you the way he currently was, but his cock was straining against his slacks begging to be inside of you, so, he pulled away. A frustrated sigh running past your lips.

“Why’d you stop?” You questioned sitting up on your elbows before teasingly running your palm down his chest. Your eyes caught sight of his bulge making your pussy clench over nothing. “Do you want to stop?” You sat up and played with his belt buckle, slowly unlooping it as you waited for his answer.

“I’d be crazy if I did.” He watched as you popped open the button of his slacks. Without a warning your hand found its way inside his boxers and wrapped around his length. Jeonghan’s body grew frigid as your hand slowly moved against him, his breath caught itself at the back of his throat, his body growing hot with pleasure. “Angel, I want to...fuck, I want to play a little longer but I need to be inside of you.”

“Do you have a condom?” You kissed his neck, sucking hard enough to leave your mark, smirking against his skin knowing how the office will react tomorrow morning. The many questions he would be bombarded with.

“Fuck, I don’t angel. We can stop here, it's okay,” he threw his head back as your lips moved down his chest and your warm hand moved against him.

“No. I trust you. I don’t want to stop.” You wrapped your lips around his nipple causing him to moan.Your hand stopped moving against him and tugged on his pants, signaling for him to take them off.

“Are you sure?” He stood up, kicking his dress shoes off before pushing his slacks and boxers down, leaving him naked in all his glory in front of you. He looked beautiful, the milky white light of the moon filtering through your giant window made him look like had been sculpted by the heaven’s. His cock sat against his stomach, the precum slowly leaking out and your mouth watered, but just like him you needed to finally feel him stretch you out. So you pushed the thought to the side and laid down opening your legs further, inviting him.

“Jeonghan, make love to me please. Make me scream out your name and forget about any other asshole that has used me in the past. I want to be yours only.” You said moved your hands up your body slowly before they found your breasts. You pinched your nipples gently moaning out his name in the process.

Jeonghan had never seen or heard anything as beautiful as to what he was witnessing right now. He hoped that this wouldn’t be a one time thing, that he could finally love you the way he had been itching to do so. Otherwise working alongside you would be a lot more awkward now that the two of you had crossed into dangerous territory. So, he kneeled in front of you again, leaning his naked body against yours, feeling your hard nipples rub against his naked chest as he leaned down and kissed you slowly. The passion spewing out of your connected lips. This was better than what he had ever imagined.

“You’re beautiful, I’m going to make you mine tonight and forever.” He mumbled before pulling away and snaking a hand down your connected bodies. He wrapped his fingers around his cock, spreading the precum around his angry head before looking at you. Slowly, he ran his head up your slit and stopped searching your face.

“God, you take forever. Just fuck me, Jeonghan please.” You smiled nodding your head pushing his hair away from his forehead.

“I’m just trying to take everything in, I’ve pictured this moment many times over the years and I need to make sure it's real.” He winked and slowly pushed himself in. Your mouth fell agape, his moans sounded beautiful as he kept pushing inside of you before bottoming out. “T-Tell me when I can move.” He leaned down capturing your lips in another slow and sensual kiss. His kisses were otherworldly and addicting.

“F-Fuck Jeonghan move please.” Your hands fell down his back as you pushed him closer. The pain of him stretching you out hadn’t subsided entirely but you were desperate with need.

“As you wish my angel.” He pecked your lips one last time before kissing your check and burying his face in the crock of your neck. His body was overwhelmed as he slowly started moving his hips against yours. The way he had fit so snuggly inside of you was driving him crazy and he hoped he would last a lot longer than what his body was telling him. Though with the way you had started to deliciously clench around him, he was positive you were riding the same boat as him. There would be other opportunities where he could shower you with ten times more love and take it as slow as he wanted. But right now was not the time, years of pent up sexual frustration between the two of you was oozing out of your pores and threatening to spill.

“I-I don’t want to cum yet but I don’t think I can hold off anymore.” You whispered, moving your hand down his back and further pushing his hips into yours. His thrusts had started out slow, but the more he lost himself in your body the sloppier they got. Your pants and moans bounced off the four walls of your shared office, thankfully no one was around to hear how desperate the two of you were for each other.

“Me too.” He grunted and raised his body. He gripped your waist tightly and started thrusting even harder into you. “W-Where do you want me to cum?” He threw his head back getting lost in sensation of your pussy clenching around him. Your second orgasm threatened to spill over the harder he fucked you into the leather sofa.

“I-Inside me. I want you to fill be up...mmmh, f-fuck please.” You arched your back digging your nails into his hips as your orgasm broke. Your body convulsed, hips cantaning up as he continued to piston his cock into you. Your name breathly spilling out of his lips as his own orgasm overtook his body. His warm milky seed covering your walls, making you moan out his name like an incantation.

The two of you rode out your orgasms. The fear of being separated seeping into your pores as he finally let his body go slump over yours. His face contorting in pleasure while your pussy continued to milk out of everything he provided you. Your chests raised slowly against each other, while reality finally seeped in. You had just fucked the man of your dreams in your office and silently you wondered why you had wasted your time hating him for years. While he silently loved you from afar, until you were too late.

“So much for finishing our paperwork.” Jeonghan broke the silence making you laugh. His head was against your sweaty chest, his thumb painting invisible pictures against your hips.

“You’ve just given me the best orgasm, possibly ever, and all you can think about is paperwork.” You joked, wrapping your leg around his waist. His cock twitching inside of you.

“I’m thinking about other things. I just wanted to state the obvious before I have you screaming my name again.”

“Mhm, I see.” You kissed his forehead and ran your index finger over his tired face. You knew he hadn’t been sleeping for days and as much as you wanted him to stay buried inside of you until morning. Another reality check crushed your fantasies. He needed to take him and his daughter, who was soundly sleeping in the office down the hall, home. “I’d love to Jeonghan, bu-”

“Do you regret it, p-please tell me you don’t” His pleading eyes found yours and you could’ve sworn your heart had flipped over how cute he looked right now.

“Let me finish talking first before you start jumping in to conclusions.” You kissed his forehead lightly, your index finger stopped moving against his face and you wrapped your arm around his neck pulling him closer then what he had already been. “I don’t regret anything but you need to take Bomi home and you need to sleep.”

“Then come home with me. I promise all we will do is sleep, but I want to wake up next to you and I want to make for lost time. Plus Bomi would be so excited when she wakes up and finds out you’re taking her to school with me.” He beamed and you felt the tears start to well up in the corner of your eyes. Jeonghan’s daughter was quite possibly the sweetest little thing in the entire world and each time you remembered what her mother had done to her and the man who was basking in the afterglow of your desperate love making. You would be hit with an overwhelming sense of anger.

“Jeonghan I want too, but we can’t be moving too fast. I want to be with you but I also need time to recover from what Seungcheol did to me, especially if Bomi is involved. I want to be there for you and her, but I can’t, knowing I’m not strong enough yet.” You sighed, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at baby. When they had started to fall Jeonghan leaned in and kissed every single one of them away.

“Okay, the ball is in your court angel, I’ll go at your pace.” He grinned, you could tell he was slightly disappointed but the fact that he had given you the upper hand made your heart swell up with love.

“Thank you Jeonghan.”

“It’s no problem, Seungcheol was wrong, you’re more than capable of being loved and I will spend every waking moment from here on out proving to you how wrong he had been and if I have to wait for you to get over what that asshole did to you. Then I will. Even if it means waiting another lifetime for you angel. I would wait for that one and the next one until you’re ready to let me love you the way you should be loved.”

#kpopscape #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen jeonghan #seventeen smut #seventeen angst #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan fanfiction #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan smut #jeonghan angst

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kurowrites · 4 years ago

Text

Aviophobia

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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It wasn’t like Wei Ying particularly hated air travel, not at all. After all, it was still the most practical way to travel long distances, and the distance between China and Europe was definitely long. The problem was that though he had just sat down in his seat, he was already horrifically bored. The airplane hadn’t even finished boarding yet, and there were around ten hours of flight still in front of him, and he couldn’t wait to arrive at his destination already.

He wasn’t looking forward to the flight, not least because he didn’t actually want to leave. After a year of not seeing her, Wei Ying had finally been able to take some time off and visit his sister, who had been living abroad with her stupid, loaded husband. He’d spent two weeks with Jiang Yanli and his little nephew, and it had been so good to see them again. A-Ling had grown so much! But now, a lot of work was waiting for him back at home, and he really needed to return, not sure when they would be able to meet the next time. That, he definitely wasn’t happy about.

Wei Ying distractedly fidgeted around in his seat, trying to keep in mind that it was no use to take out his laptop now, because the flight attendants would ask him to pack it up again for take-off in a few minutes. He had taken a book with him, anticipating this situation, but right now, the book seemed so unappealing he couldn’t even be bothered to unpack it from his backpack.

Come on, he mentally urged the passengers who were still moving along the aisles in search of their seat like a group of very slow snails, move faster, so we can leave.

Despite his best efforts, the other passengers did not speed up their pace, and so Wei Ying was cursed to sit there and wait until everyone was seated. He tried not to notice the usual offenders that managed to get in everyone’s way and blocked everything with their luggage, and tried to relax (rather unsuccessfully).

As he was idly watching the passengers pass him by, he caught a flash of white that caught his attention. Just when he was sure that his eyes were playing a trick on him, a man in a pristine white suit separated from the crowd and sat down right next to him. He pushed his briefcase under the front seat, fastened his seat belt, nodded to Wei Ying once, and then directed his glance straight forward, turning into a beautiful marble statue.

Wei Ying tried not to stare at his new neighbour too conspicuously, but he couldn’t really help it. The man seemed to be horribly out of place here in economy class, with a tailor-made white suit that very obviously was of high quality and therefore very expensive. His face equally set him apart from the other passengers, with a noble look and a bone structure that looked more suited to the cover of a fashion magazine. Wei Ying, in a simple hoody, soft jacket, and old jeans that were selected specifically for comfort purposes (after all, he would have to vegetate in them for ten hours), wondered how this unicorn had gotten lost among the common folk.

His seatmate was incredibly handsome, obviously wealthy, and… extremely stiff.

When the flight attendant finally announced that boarding had been completed, and that they were waiting for permission to proceed to the runway, the man next to him put his hands on both armrests, and for a second, Wei Ying was ready to be offended that this man hogged all the armrests for himself without consideration for the other passengers.

Then he noticed the man’s knuckles going white, his hands holding on to the armrests as if…

Wei Ying looked at the man’s face again. He was still staring straight ahead, his handsome face expressionless, his breath deep and controlled.

His eyes were fixed at some indeterminate point in the distance, and their focus did not waver at all.

And they weren’t even moving yet.

Oh dear, Wei Ying thought to himself. Someone is not a fan of flying, huh.

He knew that a lot of people probably wouldn’t appreciate his meddling, but then again, he couldn’t sit there and do nothing while his neighbour was counting breaths or whatever the fuck he was doing to calm himself down. He wasn’t going to sit next to this man for the next several hours and pretend that he didn’t notice that this person was very obviously panicking.

So he reached out, and carefully put his own hand over the one currently clutching at their shared armrest.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said, as quietly as he could. “You’re not alone, and you’re going to be fine.”

The man sucked in a shocked breath the moment Wei Ying touched him.

Wei Ying was ready to draw back and apologise for his unrequested interference, Maybe he shouldn’t have touched him, maybe he had misread–

The hand under his turned around and grasped his own, holding him fast.

“I apologise,” the stranger replied in a faint tone of voice. “For my unseemly display.”

Wei Ying laughed quietly, relief washing over him.

“It’s alright,” he replied conversationally. “We all have our little burdens to carry. As for me, I am deadly afraid of dogs, and I will jump into your arms when I see one. Not that I have much shame to begin with, but my fear of dogs is definitely bigger than any shame I might have. There will be screaming and a general amount of unnecessary, very ugly drama.”

That, finally, had the stranger remove his gaze from the undetermined point in the distance he had settled on, and he turned towards Wei Ying.

Wow.

Wei Ying had been woefully underprepared for this event. The man was even more handsome, facing him directly, and Wei Ying was sure he had never seen such beautiful eyes.

How, he wondered again, had this man ended up in economy class? He should be flying a private plane, not panicking next to Wei Ying on a commercial flight. He should be someone’s trophy husband.

“Dogs?” the man asked him, as if a fear of dogs wasn’t an entirely normal phobia to have.

“Yes,” Wei Ying replied earnestly. “Have you seen them? So fast, and they make so much noise all the time, and their teeth. Ugh. It’s a completely rational fear to have!”

By now, the plane had moved onto the runway, and was starting the jets up.

The man clutched at Wei Ying’s hand almost painfully as the plane started to vibrate, but surprisingly, he did not look away from Wei Ying, steadily holding Wei Ying’s gaze.

“Well, so is a fear of flying, I guess,” Wei Ying mused as the airplane began to move. “But think about this: it’s far more likely to get mauled by a dog than to get involved in a plane accident. There are dogs everywhere, and you never know when one is going to come around a corner! And some owners really don’t know to handle their dogs. So, you see. My fear is much more rational than yours. Also, I did get mauled by several dogs in the past, you know. It’s not even a theoretical fear for me, I know exactly what those bastards are capable of. Dogs are horrible. Not to mention that it’s too late to do anything about your fear now, anyway. Look. We’ve taken off.”

The man kept clutching his hand and stared at him without replying. Wei Ying didn’t know if he even heard anything Wei Ying had said, what with the noise and the pressure in their ears. But the stranger never looked away, and he never let go of Wei Ying’s hand, so that was good, he thought.

Eventually, when the airplane had gained enough height to level off slightly, and the pressure on the diminished, his handsome neighbour finally let out a deep breath and turned his gaze away.

Wei Ying felt almost disappointed to be relieved of the heavy weight of his gaze.

As he had said, the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen.

“Ridiculous,” his neighbour murmured, eventually, after a long period of silence.

Wei Ying laughed.

“Hello Ridiculous,” he greeted, shaking their still-connected hands playfully. “My name is Wei Ying.”

The man’s head whipped around, and he sent him a positively offended look.

And then, after a beat of silence, he said,

“Lan Zhan.”

---

It needed some careful prodding and digging, but eventually, Wei Ying found out that Lan Zhan the reason why Lan Zhan was on this plain at all was because he had taken over the business trip as a favour to his older brother, who had been unable to travel.

Wei Ying felt the need to tease him for his self-sacrificing sense of familial piety, but he didn’t quite dare to tease Lan Zhan about it. After all, Lan Zhan had done a good thing, at the cost of his own suffering.

Lan Zhan was already bad enough when it came to flying as it was, but then someone had made a mistake with the booking, and he had been booked to fly economy rather than business class on his return trip. Lan Zhan, already at the airport and very troubled by the notion of having to fly, period, had not had the energy to discuss the mistake in his booking and decided to keep his assigned seat. After all, it hardly made any difference whether he was flying business or economy. He would spend the entire flight terrified, either way.

“Well, it was very lucky you ended up choosing economy,” Wei Ying mused. “Now you have a free emotional support pet for the entire flight.”

He grinned cheekily and wiggled Lan Zhan’s hand, still safely encased in his own.

Lan Zhan frowned at the joke.

“I thank you,” he replied regardless. “It is… much easier with you here. But I do not wish to trouble you with my… unfortunate condition.”

What a polite, honest man!

Wei Ying was delighted.

“It’s no trouble at all! You saved me from hours and hours of boredom, so it’s really not just you that’s profiting from this. Are you going to be fine when I have to go to the bathroom though?”

Lan Zhan frowned again, but nodded once.

“Good, good,” Wei Ying praised. “And if you wait for me very nicely, I’m going to get us some snacks from the kitchen. They never bring out the chocolate, which is a crime, really.”

---

In the end, after Wei Ying wheedled out information about Lan Zhan’s job and life for what felt like hours, Lan Zhan managed to relax enough to doze off for a little bit, and they spent the rest of their flight in a repeating pattern of chatting, dozing off, and then being woken up to be served questionable airplane meals.

When they finally touched down at their destination (Lan Zhan once again clutching Wei Ying’s hand as if it was the only lifeline that he had – and Wei Ying trying not to be too happy about that), they took their carry-on luggage and slowly ambled out of the plane, moving towards the baggage claim with the rest of the passengers.

Lan Zhan, as soon as he was out of the airplane and on solid ground again, straightened up and took on a confident stance.

Wei Ying was a little bit in awe. He looked even more handsome and formidable now, in his still pristine white suit. He was even taller than Wei Ying had first thought, definitely taller than Wei Ying, and Wei Ying mused whether there was anything about this man that wasn’t awe-inspiring.

(Well, there was that small case of aviophobia, but who could blame him for that, really.)

Wei Ying felt his hand twitch, and he sternly told himself that it was silly to wish for them to continue holding hands, now that they were out of the plane.

“Well,” he said awkwardly as he grabbed his luggage off the conveyor belt. He wasn’t quite willing to say his goodbyes yet, but he was equally unable to think of any reason to hold on to Lan Zhan’s company for a little longer. “I had a good time on our flight, Lan Zhan. Well. I guess you don’t really want to hear that. You probably had a horrible time. For your sake, I hope that you won’t come close to any planes for a while.”

“Wei Ying, too,” Lan Zhan replied. “For your sake, I hope that you will not meet any dogs suddenly coming around corners. So that you don’t have to leap into anyone’s arms.”

Wei Ying gaped, and as he stared at Lan Zhan in disbelief, he noticed the smallest uptick of Lan Zhan’s lips.

“Ayoo!” he cried. “Lan Zhan, are you teasing me? Look at you, all confident now that you are back on solid ground! Be a little more grateful to your emotional support pet!”

Lan Zhan nonchalantly picked his (very small, compared to Wei Ying’s big, lumpy one) suitcase up from the conveyor belt, and placed it next to his feet.

“I am grateful,” Lan Zhan said, serious again. “I have a car waiting for me outside. You are welcome to join me. I will drop you off anywhere in the city. As a sign of my gratitude.”

“Mmm,” Wei Ying made a considering noise. He didn’t want to say goodbye yet, not when Lan Zhan made him such a nice offer. But then, he was also really hungry.

“I would love to get chauffeured around, but to be honest, I was planning on getting some decent coffee and a nice breakfast somewhere first. The food in that plane was horrible and I’m not functional without decent coffee.”

Lan Zhan was quiet for a moment.

“Can you wait for half an hour?”

“Huh?”

But before Wei Ying could ask him to elaborate, Lan Zhan was already herding Wei Ying towards the exit. He somehow managed to argue Wei Ying into accepting the car ride (Lan Zhan didn’t even argue, how that worked, Wei Ying sure didn’t know), and then Lan Zhan drove him to the nicest little shop for the most delicious breakfast that Wei Ying could have possibly wished for.

He was ravenous by the time they arrived, but he definitely wasn’t in a mood to complain as soon as the first delicious whiff of fresh coffee and food met his nose in welcome.

Lan Zhan was very attentive as they sat down to eat, generously plying Wei Ying with coffee, and letting him pick all his favourite foods. Wei Ying also learned that when Lan Zhan wasn’t scared for his life, he was remarkably smart and funny. It was so easy to get comfortable with him that Wei Ying had a hard time believing that they had never met until just one day ago.

Lan Zhan was fun.

“Lan Zhan, you’re joking,” Wei Ying laughed, playfully swatting at Lan Zhan’s arm. “Your first serious family fight was because of rabbits?”

“They were very cute,” Lan Zhan replied seriously, insistent on the point.

Wei Ying leaned forward eagerly, meeting Lan Zhan’s serious mien with a big grin.

“And then, what happened with them?” Wei Ying asked. “Did your uncle cook them in a pot? Were you forced to eat rabbit stew?”

“The fourth generation now lives in my back garden.”

Wei Ying gasped. “You kept them?”

Lan Zhan showed the barest twitch of his lips. “Of course.”

Wei Ying nearly slid under the table at the sight of Lan Zhan’s proud little smile.

If Lan Zhan was trying to seduce him, then Wei Ying would consider himself sufficiently seduced by now.

Goodness gracious, that smile was criminal!

And he was the proud owner of a hoard of rabbits!

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” he sighed, shaking his head. “You are a veritable little rebel. But, speaking from one pet to another, there is no way you can only tell me about your rabbits and not show them to me. That would be very rude.”

And on Wei Ying’s request, Lan Zhan took out his phone and showed Wei Ying his rabbit children. And then, since he had his phone out already, he shared his contact with Wei Ying. And when they had finished their breakfast, Lan Zhan led him back to the car and drove him home to his apartment, as promised.

When Wei Ying opened the door of the parked car, ready to hop out Lan Zhan stopped him.

“Thank you, Wei Ying,” he said, his beautiful, serious eyes gazing at Wei Ying steadily, as he had done in the plane. “For your help.”

Wei Ying laughed, and rubbed his nose.

God, he really liked the way that Lan Zhan looked at him.

“For what it’s worth,” he replied quickly, “I’m willing to be Lan Zhan’s emotional support pet anytime.”

And then, because he felt like was too presumptuous and said too much, he hopped out of the car, grabbed his luggage, and weaselled away, to the safety of his apartment.

Once the door of the apartment was closed and his luggage thrown into a corner, he took a deep breath. He dug his phone out of his jacket to inform Jiang Yanli of his save arrival. She was probably wondering why he hadn’t sent her a message yet.

When he unlocked the phone, as expected, there was a message from his sister, asking him if he had arrived safely. However, before he could send a reply, his phone pinged with another message. A message not from Jiang Yanli.

[Lan Zhan, 11.46 am] I’ll take you by your word, Wei Ying. I might have to rely on your services again.

Suddenly, Wei Ying was glad that no one could see him here, hiding behind the door of his own apartment, as he blushed as red as a tomato.

This man!

#kuro writes #the untamed #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #mdzs #did I waste my sunday on this?#I just might have

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dinthehottotty · 4 years ago

Text

Drunk on You - Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels

Warnings: Just some smutty drabble inspired by a new toy....

A/N: I wrote this on mobile so sorry I don't have the drop down bit. Also go gentle on me, this is my first Whiskey piece....

No. No, no. No, no, no, no. Nonononononono! This... could not be happening. Mortification was creeping in. Shame was shuffling from the corner of the hotel room.

It had taken ten minutes for you to begin to realize the weight of the situation. Still you couldn't bare looking to your right. If your legs could just stop shaking, that would be great.

You were a grown woman. An adult. Always prided yourself on your own efficiency. You got the job done, and done right no matter the energy and time. You did it independently for the most part, that's why you'd been hired by Statesmen to begin with. You were an amazing spy with a nerve of steel.

There was only one thing that ever got to you. Agent Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels. What an asshole. You'd never met such a surecocked, womanizing, smug bastard man. He pissed you off so much. You never used to let his advances bother you, but somehow over the years he wiggled his way under your skin. Now a single look from him made you seeth and bristle like a wild animal.

Your pride was now wiped away like a dry erase board. Your mind slowly is beginning to gain its bearings while you tremble in a puddle of your own fluids on your hotel bed. The light of the lamp next to you is a reminder of your vulnerability.

Sparing a glance to your right, everything about you is slow and hesitant. Jack is lounging beside you comfortably, a satisfied smirk coating his face. He's got his eyes closed, his fingertips tapping the air with a song you've got no idea about. He looks almost peaceful in the warm light of the dimmed lamp. And it would be if his stupid porn 'stache wasn't tilted up in a cocky smirk.

Your stomach chooses this inopertune moment to gurgle loudly. Weird, you swore the nausea was due to the naked rodeo clown beside you. Weirder yet, he almost looked good without his yellow sunglasses and cowboy hat. Less like a want to be country music star and more like a Latin lover.

His head lolls your way and his eyes bulldoze you with his thrilled smirk. Even in the low, unflattering light his brown eyes are warm and remind you of the warm gooeyness that is sliding from between your legs. You want it to not feel good, but your so boneless from the last... fuck, you don't even know how long it's been.

"Worked yerself up an appetite, did ya, darlin'?" Your only response is to gulp and you have to look away from him. A shiver rolls through you and he chuckles.

That's the worst part of this. Not the fact that you actually caved and slept with the sleeze of man, not the fact that he was the only person you genuinely hated in regards to company. No, the worst part of this, was how wrecked he had you. Jack Daniels is singlehandedly the best lay you've had in your life and it wasn't even hate sex.

Granted you should be screaming at him to get the fuck out of your hotel room and raging that he barged in on you in the first place.

Ginger had been so polite in regards to leaving you in the room by yourself for a bit. Laughing as you called after her 'if there is an emergency, don't call me, get the boys!' And then you forgot to turn on airplane mode.

It wasn't that Statesmen couldn't afford two rooms for you both. Instead, she was your near and dear friend and missions served as your sleepovers. You'd both spend free moments giggling and gossiping about the other agents. And also your sex lives and preferences. Also, your newest toy that you hadn't gotten to try.

A tiny egg with a little tongue and suction on it. The catalyst. You'd been prepared when your eyes and ears left to give a good review only to very quickly discover just how delightful and overwhelming the little tool was.

Too aware of how Whiskey was leaning over you with a grin, you suddenly feel nervous. "Don't tell me I fucked the sass out of you, sweetheart. I do love that wicked tongue you've got." He thumbs your lower lip and you find your self holding in panting. For fucks sake it took you nearly ten minutes to stop after he'd finally rolled off you.

It's pitiful that you just let out a tiny whine, pushing weakly at his chest. It makes his grin deepen, his dimples practically shining. "Don't go soft on me now, girl."

"Need minute," you finally rasp, voice hoarse. He leans down, shocking you with a hungry pass of his mouth over yours.

You should want to fight him, but your mind feels as boneless as your body.

There is a noise. A beep of the door unlocking with the card swiped.

Ginger is back.

She still knocks, bless her heart. It's like Whiskey doesn't even notice, instead just drawing his mouth over your jaw and tasting your neck lazily. He must know. Either he thinks it's housekeeping or he just doesn't give a fuck.

"Rosé?" She calls out from the hallway by the door. "I hope I gave you enough lead time to try-" she gasps as she rounds the corner and finds you wrapped up with a man you despise. "Oh, lord! What even happened?" She averts her wide eyes and Whiskey chuckles warmly over you.

"Decommissioned," you rasp out, complete mush under the mouthing at your neck. "Sorry." Teeth appear and your vaguely aware that Whiskey is laughing with delight against you.

He lifts enough to flash a grin at Ginger.

"You hate him! What do you mean 'decommissioned'?" She throws her hands up.

"What's the racket?" Eggsy calls, strutting in with Gallahad. Both of them freeze at the sight of you practically preening under the warm body over you. "No fuckin' way," the kid demands when Whiskey jerks the blankets up around your naked form.

"Now, I don't mind the company, but if you boys want a show, I suggest you go find the HBO channel back in your respective rooms. The lady is going to need a hot meal and a nice nap before she goes anywhere." You don't even register that you're nodding along with his statement.

"No way you bagged Rosé," Eggsy demands. "She looks drugged!" The heat of a big calloused hand rolls up over your side under the sheet and you let your eyes fall shut. Ginger just shakes her head like a disappointed mother.

"Not drugged," you manage to offer. It earns you a happy purr from the smug agent above you and he rolls a hand between your legs unabashedly. Your still too sensitive and jerkily shove his hand, gasping. "Out, please," you murmur, no bite to your words as a warm mouth finds the hollow behind your ear.

Ginger quickly agrees, shuffling quickly out of the room. Eggsy, even with Gallahad's prompting tries to stick around, giving you shit until the mouth leaves your neck.

"The lady politely requested you leave. Find the door, boy." He snarls like a caged animal and it sends warmth down belly. You find yourself uncaring and unfurling beneath him as Eggsy is lead out of the room.

"Hungry," you moan, trying to glower when he goes to reposition and settle between your thighs. It earns you a cocky grin.

"Atta girl!" You don't know what you expect, but it's hardly him pulling your legs up and proping them over his shoulders while he reaches for the phone.

You both moan when he sinks into you, wettly and just as easily as before. "Fuck, feel so good, baby." And he leans over, picking up the phone and dialing. There is ringing as he cradles the phone between his shoulder and ear, rolling his hips forward. He's rewarded with the obnoxiously loud squelch that accompanies his thrusts. "What sounds good to eat?" Whiskey asks as you pant and writhe beneath him like his cock isn't stretching you beyond capacity.

"Everything," you gasp out.

"Could you send us the works? Whatever you've got on special." You can't pay attention to anything else he says, in the back of your mind your mind you know your a mess.

It's when you hear the tiny motor start that your hand is jerking down and your snatching his wrist. "Jack, no, I can't-" you rasp as you stop his hand from bringing the little egg down on your clit.

"Why not?" But it doesn't actually sound like a question and his eyes are glinting down on you.

"Is too much, hurts."

"You weren't complaining earlier."

"Overstimulated." He gives a growl, shutting the vibrator off before hauling your knees into the crook of his arms. It has you moaning unabashedly as he changes angles, stirring the pace up.

"Feels so good, oh fuck, feels good. Don't stop, please don't stop, always wanna be full, fill me up please." What kind of effect was this? You never babbled.

"What a good girl," he rumbles, "finally giving into how desperate she's been for me. Do you want to cum around me again?" He watches you falling apart beneath him, a complete wreck.

"Can't, can't cum. Felt like I was cumming the whole time that toy was on my clit. Hurts." A hand rubs down your belly, a direct path to the heaven between your legs that he's still fucking. You scramble for his wrist again but he's stronger and you let out a cry as he brushes a knuckle over your swollen and abused clit. It just makes him chuckle when you arch off the pillow below your hips.

Your so wet that it's coating your thighs and making him glide against you like your coated in oil. Everything was wet and warm.

"C'mon girl, don't tell me yet that I've won?" He rasps. There is a need that builds up at those words. An anger as you manage some kind of weak glare up at him. You fumble for him.

You intend fully on crushing his mouth against yours and devouring him in response to his quip. It seems to surprise you both when your lips move more tenderly than either of you anticipate.

Whiskey goes stiff in your arms, fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. There's a moment you think you've killed the mood but then he's sink down against you and tenderly kissing you back.

It's not unexpectedly fun and wild like the rest of this desperate affair has been. Instead, his hips roll slow and smooth, no rush or reason beyond just feeling you. The heat of him consumes you as you breathe into each other's mouths, drinking the other in and soaking in hot hands.

"Shoulda done this sooner," you manage against his mouth and feel his chuckle rumble you both.

"Offers been there," he groans. "Spend the night in my room," he pleads gently. It has you shivering.

"Okay," you sigh, mush beneath the fulfilling stretch he was giving. He could ask you to kill Eggsy here and now and you'd probably say yes. Just as long as this never ended. You were drunk on Whiskey.

#jack whiskey daniels #jack daniels #agent whiskey #kingsman #statesmen #kingsman the golden circle #smut #unedited #jack daniels x reader #whiskey #whiskey x you #whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x reader

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twinklelilstarkey · 4 years ago

Note

“Please don’t go” with Freddie Andersen 🥺

"Please don't go" - Frederik Andersen

Words: 3.6k+

Type: ANGST

Warnings: A lot of crying from both Y/N and Freddie. Break up. Mentions of long distance relationships.

It was a tough decision to end your relationship with Freddie.

You two had dated for a few months, after being extremely good friends for years. The whole relationship was a quite sudden decision, but right as it started, it felt so right that you felt stupid for not admitting your feelings sooner.

You feel like it’s fair to say that everything, absolutely everything, was just pure perfection when you were together. And that is why what you two shared will always be kept in your hearts:

All the smiles, all the laughter, all the hugs, all the kisses. The way one would always support the other on whatever decision. Or the way you two believed in one another, no matter what.

There was just nothing bad about it. There were no arguments. If anything there was just disagreements, which if they did escalate, you two would fix it or just calm down in the same breath.

Ending it, even though expected, was as painful as anything can possibly be. Both of you cried, constantly itching to comfort one other, feeling as helpless like never before.

You two sat opposites on your couch. Freddie looked at the ground, elbows over his knees as he listened to you, and you stared at a wall to contain your tears. Yet as soon as the first one escaped, you were done for.

Sobs in the middle of sentences, almost as if your heart was pleading your brain to stop you from putting an end to it. To what made you happy.

An imaginary weight, which would always be lifted off when together, had now set over the two of you again. As well as the cold of familiar loneliness, and the horrible pain of heartbreak.

But it was for the best... right?

You got a huge offer for your job, some kind of promotion, which consisted of you moving to America.

It has been so many years since you started calling the Toronto streets your home, that you just know that this change will be unfamiliar and hard, yet the outcome always seems worth it.

In your eyes, there’s absolutely no way for you to refuse it.

But for you to have it, you have to lose a lot too since work never makes it easy for anyone to take days off. Especially if those few days are to be in another country. Canada, in your case.

And sure, you had holidays and a week or two offered to you as some sort of vacation in a whole year of work. But not enough for you to try and leave everything behind you intact and act as if it will stay like that while you're away.

Whether you like it or not, strong friendships will become weak, the constant communication with your family will not even seem like half of what it used to be, and when it comes to relationships, trust will be tested. And god, even if you trust someone with your life, nothing can stop your brain from thinking of all awful possibilities. As well as your heart from hurting due to missing them so much.

Long-distance relationships are painful and you do not want to go through them. You would prefer to let the love of your life live his life with someone else, then let them wait for you for only God knows how much time.

That decision is the opposite way of looking at life selfishly. You prefer to go through an immense amount of pain if that means that the ones you love will be happy. Something Freddie always loved about you and sometimes would bring it up in conversations.

He also wouldn't let you refuse such an offer and you know it. The opportunity of you going after your dream was more important to him than anything, because it is your dream. He just didn't really know what would come with it.

He didn't know how much he would cry, how much he wouldn't want to open his eyes in the morning to see an empty bed, how much he would come to hate the silence in his home, or the absence of your perfume in his hoodies. It was a whole list of horrible things that he feels while following the same routine as before, yet all it gives him is pain.

While you were packing your whole apartment to move far away, fighting off tears, Freddie had to work.

In morning skates, he would find himself skipping almost half his playlist when stretching because everything would remind him of you. He wouldn't look up at the clock in anticipation to go home. Or even be quick with getting off the ice when the last minute of work ends.

Sometimes he would sit on the bench for so long that the lights would eventually turn off around the arena. But he would just sit there. Head hung low with his eyes either closed or staring at nothing in front of him, letting his head run free.

Those weeks were rough. If rough could even come to describe half of what you two felt.

Today is your last day. The day to get on an airplane and not be sure when you're going to step foot into Canadian soil before Christmas. Or even see your loved ones before that too.

Your family and your friends have texted you a lot this morning, letting you know that they'll meet you at the airport. As well as asking how excited you feel.

You truly aren't even slightly excited to leave. All you feel is regret. And it's heavy and painfully stabbing its way into your back while closing its fists around your heart.

Why didn't you start dating way before all of this? Maybe that would've worked out in a way. You two could've argued and hated each other for what you've swarmed it could be forever.

Or why did you have to meet him at all? Why didn't you ignore him like every other guy that talked to you on that specific bar? It would've made your friendship impossible and he would be nothing but a goalie you would see on the TV.

Getting up from bed today was just as bad to you as it was for Freddie. You two both dragged your feet into your separate bathrooms and undressed, pulling yourselves under the water of the shower. The water would soak you but neither of you moved to actually start doing anything else, you just stood there for a minute.

And with that, a loud sob jumped out of your mouth and you're back into your circle. Back to doing the same things with the same make-up-less face, your eyes swollen from tears and gaze fixed in nothing but the tiles of your floor.

Freddie didn't sob, but he isn't sure if he didn't cry either. If tears fell they left with the water falling from on top of him. The water that is trying to embrace him back to comfort, but failing miserably.

You throw the rest of your things inside your last bag and close the zipper slowly. Your gaze lifts up to the mirror of your bathroom and the reflected image breaks you as reality sets in.

You have to leave.

Walking around the apartment to check on everything was difficult as you continue to battle your emotions and throw all the memories to the back of your mind.

After that, you leave the key on the place you had previously planned with your landlord, and off you went into your Uber to the airport with your last belongings in your bags. Ready to leave home.

The driver was nice. He made small talk about where you were going and how he had gone there with his family last summer. He also must have sensed your uneasiness, so he decided highlight how nice the locals were and how everyone would always be ready to help you.

It relaxed you in a way, but not entirely as that wasn't even what was on your mind in the first place.

On the other hand, Freddie's late. Stuck in traffic to be more precise. His leg bounces with stress as he hides his face under his hat and hood of his shirt. All he could think of is how he won't get there in time.

His driver is silent, bobbing his head to the soft music playing on the radio while he stares at all the cars in front of them.

When taking a quick peek at the lines of cars in front of him, Freddie's starting to lose hope, no matter how hard he tries to be more optimistic.

He unlocks his phone as his fingers itch to text you, but he freezes at the picture of his home screen. He still doesn't have to heart to change anything he had with you, not even his god damn home screen.

A picture just a few weeks old, before you even had told him about the job offer. You were smiling at him behind the camera while holding a puppy up to your chest, eyes bright and wide with excitement. And your smile... just as breathtaking as heart-wrenching.

Freddie blinks harshly at the painful happy memory and looks ahead of him as the car moves ever so slightly. He has to at least say bye to you.

"You're going to love it, I know it!" Your mom says excitingly.

She squeezes you into another hug and you close your eyes at the feeling of her squeeze. Your hands are shaking for some unknown reason so you hesitate before wrapping your arms around her as well.

"You'll meet so many new people and learn so much new stuff."

She's starting to sound more excited than you at this point, yet you don't do anything but a short nod against her shoulder.

When you pull away, you look down at your phone, expecting to see any sort of notification... but there's nothing.

"Hey, I want a hug too." Your friend says over everyone's voices as she elbows her way to you.

You offer her a broken grin and she sadly smiles at you, throwing herself and her arms around you.

Freddie almost rips the door open as the Uber parks right in front of the airport's main doors, not even realizing that he hasn’t acknowledged the driver verbally ever since he got inside the vehicle.

His feet feel heavy and his legs tired, even though they have no reason to feel that way, yet he drags them into the building.

He walks fast-paced through the airport, looking through every group of people. His eyes scanning every single backpack, shirt, head of hair, beanie. Everything to find you.

You unwrap your arms from around another one of your friends and she smiles at you while cupping your face in her hands.

"If you ever need anything, I'll be on the first plane to you." She tells you and you grin at her.

"Promise?" You ask.

"I promise."

She kisses your nose and that's able to make your scowl break onto a smile, making everyone around you feel a sudden weight being lifted off the air around them, relief.

You adjust your backpack on your shoulder as you look around the group to see if you've hugged everyone and it sure seems like it. Your heart tightens in your chest and you take a deep breath.

"Are you ready to go?" Your mom asks you, laying her hand over your shoulder.

"I think so." You tell her.

She gives you a light squeeze in comfort and looks over behind her to see the line where you need to do your check-in.

"Well, I believe you just need to go over there," She starts, looking back at you, "and get your-"

She stops talking out of nowhere and you lift your gaze from your bag at her. She’s staring at something behind you.

Your heart quickens and at the sudden bit of hope runs through you. You look over your shoulder and your eyes meet Freddie walking towards you.

He's wearing grey sweatpants, a black hoodie, a hat over his head, and the hood of his shirt over it. If it wasn't for all the light coming from the large windows beside you, you wouldn't have noticed his reddened eyes and the broken look he's giving you.

Without any sort of hesitation, you take the backpack from your shoulder and lay it on the ground, taking steps towards him.

Freddie meets you halfway, wrapping his arms around you as yours move up to wrap around his neck and cling onto him. He holds you by your waist securely and lifts you in the air to hold you as close to him as possible.

A soft sob you’ve been holding in falls from your lips, sounding slightly muffled by his clothes, and you lay your head over his shoulder. Freddie closes his eyes to stop his tears from coming up again, snuggling his face close to you.

Your family and friends, when seeing and noticing you two, let sad smiles appear on their faces and decide to step aside, giving you two some space and privacy.

"I ran the whole airport to find you." He says, some humor deep in his tone.

A small smile lifts over your face as you cry your eyes out again, more out of relief than anything else.

One of his vacant hands lays on the back of your head, almost as it holding steady and his thumb caresses the nape of your neck, softly and carefully.

"I thought you weren't coming."

You pull your face away from his shoulder and take a look at him, locking gazes with him. Your hands rest over his shoulders and Freddie looks back just as directly.

"I got stuck in traffic." He explains.

Your hands come up to his bearded cheeks, a small pout influencing your forced smile, and your thumbs caress his skin.

His hand also rises up and he quickly wipes the tears off your cheeks.

“Don’t cry, come on.” He tries to tell you in a whisper over the sound of everyone’s loud voices around the airport.

“Sorry.” You tell him almost automatically, voice slightly cracking.

“No, don’t be sorry.” He corrects you. “I just don’t want to see you sad.”

You sniffle, your hands still over his cheeks, and give him a little nod, almost as your way to acknowledge his words since you’re not really trusting your voice right now.

Freddie kisses your palm and you lift your hands to wrap your arms around his neck again. He holds you as well and tries to swallow the ball of emotions at the back of his throat as your body shakes as you let out another overpowering small wave of silent sobs.

His eyes water ever so slightly and he blinks the tears away.

“Do you feel ready to go?” He asks against the fabric of your hoodie, leaning his head closer against you.

“No.” You tell him.

Freddie swears his whole body reacted to your words. Maybe it was because you said it so close to his ear and that was the reason why he felt all those chills, but in a way, he knows it’s more than that.

He gives you more squeeze and your heart aches over what it could possibly mean. His hand rests over your leg and he leans forward to motion you to get back on the ground.

You do as requested but your body almost acts as if in denial when you order it to let go of him.

Freddie’s hands lay loosely by your waist, while your arms still hug his neck close to you, making him have to lean down over you.

“You still want to go, right?” He asks.

He doesn’t even know if he’s just checking on you or if he’s just hoping for an answer that would mean that you could go back home with him, but either way, he awaits it.

“I think so.” You try to say, but your voice falls in a whisper.

He forces your arms a bit away from him and you lift your head from his shoulder, sending him a look so broken that Freddie swears it broke his heart even further. He stares back into your eyes silently and observes your expression.

Without thinking twice, you close the small space between you two and lay your lips against his.

The sweet kiss is more than welcomed by Freddie, who can’t help but feel the small bit of hope course through his veins. The relief he felt over feeling you just hugging him again was able to destroy so many doubts in his head, and now that you’re kissing him, it’s like he’s falling in love all over again.

His hand rests in the back of your head, not letting you pull away just yet from the kiss he has been thinking about and needing for the past few weeks.

When you do pull away, you two just feel reality wash over you like a ice cold bucket of water. It’s heartbreaking to the point of you to want to gasp for air.

You feel horrible.

Freddie looks back into your eyes as he pulls away further and he feels his eyes well up in tears again. And this time, it doesn’t go unnoticed.

Why do you have to go?

Your hands lay over his shoulders even when he stands upright and his hand continues rested over your head, against your hair, feeling it under his fingers.

He breaks his gaze from your eyes to check the time on the screen a few meters behind you. You follow his gaze, hands now sliding and resting over his chest, and your heart skips a beat at how the time flew since you had gotten there.

You don’t have much time left.

Your eyes go back to Freddie and he looks absolutely broken. And that is not making anything feel any easier for you.

“I love you.” You decide to tell him, “So much.”

He looks down at you and brings his hands back to your cheeks, holding your face.

“I love you too.” He answers.

His voice is so much lower and so much weaker than you’ve ever heard it before, it feels like a nightmare.

It feels so unreal and so scary that it seems like something only the back of your mind can create to terrify you.

You grip onto his shirt and pull him down to you again, ignoring how the tears are starting to come up your eyes once more. He does as you request him to and this time doesn’t even even think twice before kissing you.

Your lips press against his as he lays various small pecks onto them while holding your wet cheeks in his larger hands.

“Please don’t go.” You hear him plead after a kiss.

You reopen your eyes and stare back at his. A tear has been able to escape his eyes and you’re quick to wipe it with the end of your sleeves.

“I need to go, Freddie.” You tell him, fighting off a sob. “I already signed everything.”

Frederik lays his forehead against yours and looks back onto you.

“Then I’ll wait for you.”

No.

You shake your head at him as a sob escapes your lips again and he fights off your denial with a nod.

“I will. I’ll wait for that contract to end, or I’ll retire early, I don’t care.” He tells you, feeling some more tears wet his face again, “We’ll be together again. I’ll visit you as many times as I can. I promise.”

You wipe his tears and quickly lean back to just pull him into another hug.

You cling onto his shirt, feeling more powerless than anything.

The pain you’re feeling due to leaving is so strong that you almost don’t feel like yourself. Your body is shaking, you feel light headed, your chest is aching as your heart beats just as fast as your mind runs through all your options.

You didn’t want it to be like this. For you to feel so sad and in so much pain.

Freddie holds you back before you pull back, squeezing you close to him.

“Honey, it’s time to go.”

Your mom’s voice.

You quickly wipe your tears and lift your head from Freddie’s shoulder. He lets you go and a sudden rush of cold fills your body. The lack of his warmth is almost able to freeze you.

After that and a harsh and hard swallow of all your emotions, you pull your parents and friends into another set of hugs. Rushing back to Freddie for a last hug.

His hand is over your back, moving up and down to try and comfort you. You lay your wet cheek over his shirt, not caring if you wet it. And as soon as you look at him, your chin over his chest, he kisses your cheek.

A last squeeze later and you step back, offering everyone a small smile. Freddie grabs your backpack from the ground and gives it over to you. You take it silently and look up at everyone once more.

A small broken whisper moves past your lips as a small ‘bye’ to everyone that is looking at you and you soon turn on your heels, and... leave.

You don’t look back. Scared that if you do, you’re not able to keep going. And with that, Freddie stays back, standing right next to your family and friends.

Your mom has her hand over his back, comforting him just like he just did to you, in silence. And as soon as you’re out of the view from everyone’s eyes, she doesn’t hesitate to pull him into a hug.

“You’ll be together again. I’m sure of it.” She reassures him.

I hate this, but it can’t stay on my drafts for longer than it already has. Hope you like it...?

#frederik andersen #frederik andersen x reader #frederik andersen imagine #frederik andersen imagines #freddie andersen imagine #freddie andersen x reader #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagines #hockey imagine

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