#it’s my greatest passion yet the hardest most challenging thing I do
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I miss writing
#I have this weird memory#my dad has a literal personal grudge against Richard Nixon#which like. who doesn’t right? but my dad isn’t concerned abt politics at all really he’s a midwestern normie with anxiety and addiction#but he f*cking HATES Richard Nixon with a passion#so much so that he made this art piece (lmfao😩😭💀)… that’s this half gold plated rusted frame with a U.S. stamp of Nixon’s face in it#and it took him literally f*cking forever to make this I REMEMBER#like years practically idk (I was little)#anyway I asked him once… something like ‘oh why’s it taking so long)#and he gave some convoluted answer abt like. him being slow at art and taking his time#and also gold plating being hard or smth#lol#but I never understood it until now#for me… writing is like. hard labor. I slave over every word. every sentence. I really do!!!#it’s my greatest passion yet the hardest most challenging thing I do#and now that ive improved so much and I’m getting better#ITS TAKING EVEN LONGER#and I thought I was just broken#but I remembered this… thing? this art piece?… and I realized. i guess it’s just in my dna#to be this……. goddam… afflicted by creation#ANYWAY I also just don’t have any ideas atm still#and I have anxiety so the ideas I do have I hate#but what I am working on… feels like plucking strings#idk why I just typed this out#anyway I’m still here I wanna get better I wanna post again#thank y for reading of u did. no worries if u did not. totally wack LOL but I guess it needed to come out#bye.#caitie blabs
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CAS Reflection
The CAS strand that I have been enjoying the most through those 18 months it creativity. Completing CAS creativity made me try new things, such as cooking and photography, but also motivated me to regularly continue my art journey. Thanks to this, not only did I develop new skills – cooking and making quality photos, but also improve my life long passion and my skills in this area. Furthermore, it allowed my to express myself in new ways and through new means, which I regret I have not found before.
The greatest challenge that I needed to overcome during the 18 months of CAS is definitely continuing to do the same activities for a long time, and doing them regularly. Doing things regularly is a challenge for me, but through CAS, I was able to walk regularly, attend Ronald McDonald’s foundation regularly, and create art regularly. Moreover, it taught me how to better manage my time, as with all activities and assignments that I needed to complete for my classes, it often seemed hard to sill have time for CAS activities. Yet, now I can say that I did manage to do it.
Through CAS, I acquired many new skills, as well as improved some of those that I already had. I consider it as my greatest achievement, as if it was not for CAS I do not know if I would in the place I am now.
Hence, the abilities that I have developed the most is perseverance learning new skills, improving what I have known and reflecting on my progress.
The learning outcome that was the easiest to achieve was LO1 - dentification of strengths and areas for personal growth, as that pushed me to peruse my passion – art. The learning outcome that was the hardest to achieve was demonstrating the skills and recognizing the benefits of working collaboratively, as in the activities that I have chosen the was not much room for collaborative work.
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2020 IN WRITING
Tagged by: @indestinatus 💖
Tagging: Do I even have anyone else to tag? @lexinoctura? @tivaholic4? @geranition? @dazzlingstarlight?
1. List of works published this year:
Published: Episode IX: Victory of the Dyad (Star Wars, Reylo, rated M/E, in progress)
AO3, Fanfiction.net
Updated: Christmas Meeting (NCIS, TIVA, rated M/E, completed)
AO3, Fanfiction.net
2. Work you are most proud of (and why):
I guess Christmas Meeting mentioned above. When you finishing writing something you have been working on for five damn years, you feel proud.
3. Work you are least proud of (and why):
Since my work this year was solely focused on finishing one story and starting a new one, I haven’t really written much in the amount of stories so I can just list a chapter I’m not proud of and that is... Chapter 43 of Christmas Meeting, the TIVA wedding. Even writing them after so many years, I didn’t write a wedding before (for them) so it was a challenge I think I did right only from half. Half of the chapter is fine, half of the chapter isn’t that good as I pictured it to be.
4. A favourite excerpt of your writing:
Oh jeez... I don’t know? A whole excerpt would probably involve Chapter 42 of Christmas Meeting where I made Tony and Ziva rethink a real event in their life and transform it into a sexual fantasy. That was such a fun to write, honestly and it’s one of my favourite things I have ever written this year. It wasn’t much popular among the readers (not sure why but honestly, Fanfiction.net as a site is dying slowly and painfully) but that finally felt as something I wrote for fun and myself than for someone else and out of duty.
5. Share or describe a favourite review you received:
Can’t really choose one, that’s impossible and disrespectful to everyone. I appreciate and cherish every single one I get and that’s that.
6. A time when writing was really, really hard:
March/April? The whole ‘let’s rotate in the office after 2 weeks’ and be constantly locked at home didn’t really do anything good for my writing. I was less inspired and just not myself the whole time. And even when I went out for the walk, it didn’t get better. I guess more factors where at play because nearing the end of a story you work on for so long is both exciting and terrifying and the whole fandom has changed so many times during it and I just didn’t feel as excited as I was supposed to be, I guess, because the whole mood in the fandom was just... zero. Many people left and I don’t blame them. But it felt disheartening as if the people that used to wait enthusiastically for my updates were gone without a word, focusing on other things and I just couldn’t move on because I always finish what I start. And I really wanted to move on as they did. Not their fault but mine.
7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:
Hm... Writing Anakin Skywalker? It was something I planned to do and feared it because my relationship with Star Wars prequels is complicated (I like them and it’s not Hayden’s fault, I just struggle with some of the weird dialogue in the movies) and I think the result is actually pretty good. People still need to wait to see it but it’s written and I love it.
8. How did you grow as a writer this year:
I found my passion again and I resolved NOT to write another long-ass story for five damn years. I admire if someone can do that without getting affected but I just... I love the story, I really do but a lot of chapters just felt like a chore to me, and not fun. I wanted it to end but I also wanted to communicate the rest of my ideas to bring it to the ful circle. Maybe it was a mistake, I don’t know. I just don’t wish to feel like that ever again.
9. How do you hope to grow next year:
To learn – and I repeat that every year – that not writing that day I imagined I would write is not something I should reproach myself for. Stuff just happens. If I choose to play a game instead? So what... If I have a migraine that I can’t even keep my eyes open? So what? The result would suck and I would spend yet another day by rewriting it. It’s not a sin.
10. Who was the greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
Well, aside the stable people in my life I know I can turn to whenever I have some writing problem and need another point of view – and they know who they are – probably @lexinoctura ? Just the sheer thought I can come in with some question for an opinion or just general talk about the topic is amazing. I don’t have many Star Wars writer friends and the ones I know have zero idea about the universe so I really appreciate it.
11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:
Believe it or not, there is always something from my real life that shows up in my writing. The greatest one for this year is – Christmas Meeting Chapter 43 and the wedding in Prague. I have included my home and birth city so that’s me.
12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
Just because you decide to write something else after devoting most of your writing skills to one fandom, doesn’t mean you hate it, forgot it or erased it from your life. It’s still part of you and it will always be part of you but life is life and if you feel inspired by something else, it’s not bad to turn away but actually, it would be a shame not to do it. So do it, spread your interests and even if you are ‘famous’ or something in that one fandom while ‘unknown and newbie’ in the other one, don’t let it discourage you. Remember, it’s a start and beginnings are always the hardest. It’ll be fine.
13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
Surely! I’m looking forward to finishing the story I am currently writing while starting a whole new idea that developed in my head over Christmas, just as I intend to return to my original fantasy story and approach it from a different perspective. It needs to be redone.
14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:
Well, of course I am going to promote a story I have recently published!
Episode IX: Victory of the Dyad (Star Wars, Reylo, rated M/E, in progress)
AO3, Fanfiction.net
15. Year word count:
144,692 words – not my strongest year but I have struggled a lot in certain point, plus the whole year situation wasn’t that ideal for writing but I still think it’s pretty decent.
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Jupiter’s Legacy: Choreographing Superheroic Stunts
https://ift.tt/3vZfxU3
This article is presented by:
Stunt teams are some of the hardest working people in the industry. They literally put their lives on the line just to entertain us and yet there’s so little acknowledgement of their contributions. There is no Oscar for stunt work, but there should be. Netflix’s adaptation of Jupiter’s Legacy has secured one of the industry’s hottest stunt choreographers, one who is no stranger to superhero action, Philip J. Silvera.
If you’ve read Jupiter’s Legacy already, you know Frank Quitely’s artwork leaps off the page, splattered with intense moments of sanguineous bloodshed. Quitely’s graphic style is a perfect fit for Silvera, who says he’s always been inspired by the visceral violence of films like Goodfellas and The Godfather Part II.
“My action in the past has always had a bit of a lead pipe brutality to it,” confesses Silvera with a grin. Who better to choreograph the huge superhero brawls of Jupiter’s Legacy?
School of Hard Knocks
Stunt work has always been Silvera’s destiny. “I always wanted to do stunts, since I was a kid.” Silvera’s father was a boxer who was just about to go pro, but his fortune took a bad turn after he broke his arm and leg. Nevertheless, Philip inherited his father’s fighting spirit. After starting his martial arts training in Karate, Silvera switched over to a Shaolin-based system of Chinese Kung Fu, which he studied for about 20 years.
Silvera got his first break in 1997. He was competing in a martial arts tournament in New York City when he was approached to do an off-Broadway show called Voice of the Dragon: Once Upon a Time in Chinese America. It was a groundbreaking show from maverick playwright and noted jazz composer Fred Ho. Silvera describes it as “a bit of an urban Peking opera, really a martial arts ballet.” The show demanded he play a character, do martial arts, fight, fall, and flip on stage in front of a live audience.
As Silvera got deeper into the stunt world, his training diversified to accommodate a wider variety of roles. He studied Kali stick fighting and even trained with Cecep Arif Rahman (The Raid 2, John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum). Beyond his film work, Rahman is a genuine master of the Indonesian martial art called Pencak Silat. As a stunt coordinator, Silvera must keep pushing his training forward so he can meet the demands of his next project. “I just constantly want to keep learning different things and evolving.”
Silvera began officially working as a stuntman in movies and TV in 2005. You must work your way up to that director’s chair, and in the stunt industry, that means you’ve got to pay your dues and take a lot of hard knocks. By 2010, he got his first action and fight choreographer credit with Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II. That was followed by several coordinator roles on more video games like DC Universe Online, Batman: Arkham City, and Star Wars: The Old Republic. After an uncredited role assisting with the fight choreography in Iron Man 3, he received his first credited movie fight choreographer role for Thor: The Dark World.
Changing the Game
However, it was his work on Netflix’s Daredevil that caught the attention of both action and superhero fans. Silvera served as the Fight and Stunt Coordinator for the first two seasons of the series, and for action connoisseurs, he built a choreographic trademark for the show: the one-take fight scene. In Daredevil’s second episode, Silvera orchestrated a showstopping one-take hallway slugfest and every fan of fight choreography took notice. That scene propelled action in streaming TV to the cinematic level of big screen fight choreography. “I think most people would be surprised to hear that we designed that one-shot sequence in Daredevil in a day and a half,” Silvera says.
Silvera followed up that hallway fight with a one-take stairwell scrap in season two (an episode directed by Marc Jobst, who also directed two episodes of Jupiter’s Legacy). Hallway and stairwell fights comprise two of the three most common settings for extended fight scenes (the third being warehouse fights – there’s an innumerable amount of these in actioners because it’s just easy and cheap to find warehouse locations). Hallways serve as a device to narrow the playing field when one person must take on several opponents. The width of the hallway restricts how many adversaries can come at the hero at a time. Silvera’s Daredevil hallway fight is held in the same esteem as the epic hallway fight in Chan-wook Park’s Oldboy and is considered by many to be the greatest TV fight scene to date.
Stairway fights showcase technical expertise. The footwork must be precise because one misstep can result in a devastating ankle twist for any stunt person. Additionally, falling down stairwells isn’t easy. It requires top notch stunt people to stage safely.
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Jupiter’s Legacy: From Page to Screen
By Rosie Knight
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For Silvera to deliver such high-level fight choreography for the small screen was groundbreaking. Until the rise of streaming, most TV shows were more reserved with their action because it is a longer haul. A feature-length movie might contain half a dozen fight scenes, at best. An action TV series might stage that many fights in just two or three episodes, with plenty more over the course of the season. This takes an incredible toll on the stunt team, which is why many martial arts-themed TV series gas out before the season finale. This is what made Silvera’s work on Daredevil so revolutionary at the time. Now, a half decade later, many TV shows have upped their action game, but they owe a great debt to Silvera and his team. “I really enjoyed bringing Daredevil to life. Charlie Cox was amazing. That was a pleasure working with Steve DeKnight on that show.”
Since then, Silvera has tackled several super powered action icons for the silver screen, like Deadpool, Terminator: Dark Fate, and the Jaegers in Pacific Rim: Uprising. Silvera has fond memories of sitting down with director Tim Miller while working on Deadpool and Terminator: Dark Fate and setting the parameters of superpowers in combat. “It’s always that they’re really good at this, but what’s their weakness?” The audience will accept superpowers if the film stays consistent within its constructs. For Silvera, it’s about finding a new challenge in every sequence. “What I try and do is always make it super relative to the characters and then make it so that the audience can feel something when they watch it.”
Super Fights
Spanning eight episodes in Season 1, Jupiter’s Legacy allows Silvera the space to stretch his choreographic legs. “I believe the action on our show pushes the story and the characters forward, as much as it does on any of the other shows I’ve worked on in the past,” Silvera says. “And I’m super excited to see what fans think of the storytelling, the nonverbal storytelling, that happens within our action sequences.”
Non-verbal storytelling lies at the very heart of every action choreographer. The fight scenes are the climax of the story and that unspoken dialogue of conflict must rise to that or else an actioner will fail. “Nonverbal communication,” stresses Silvera, “like The Empire Strikes Back, the scene that happens between Luke and Vader.” His passion for the Star Wars franchise led him to direct “Star Wars: Scene 38 ReImagined.” It was a reworking of the first lightsaber battle we ever saw – Obi-Wan Kenobi versus Darth Vader. Silvera spliced together footage from Star Wars: A New Hope with new fight footage. Doubling for Obi-Wan was Dan Brown (Black Panther, Spider-Man: Far from Home). Vader was Richard Cetrone, who was Ben Affleck’s stunt double in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. “Both are seasoned stuntmen in this business and have been around for a while,” adds Silvera.
“Scene 38 ReImagined” was a huge success with over 33.5 million views on YouTube. “That was a bit of a test for myself, as a second unit director and a first unit director,” says Silvera. “I wanted to see if I could add the emotional content into a sequence, that you know the character’s full story from beginning to end.”
From Comics Panels to Movie Frames
Choreographing superheroes has its own unique rules. A still comic panel is one thing. Setting that action into motion is another thing altogether. While comics are akin to storyboarding, when it comes to fights, a few panels describe that action. It then becomes Silvera’s job to unravel that into a fight with a dozen or more beats.
One of his favorite examples for Jupiter’s Legacy is the “Hilltop” sequence. In the original comic, it’s a ferocious battle told over only four panels. Silvera saw that raw brutality and constantly built on that mindset with his choreography.
“Those four panels really set the tone of our show and you’ll see that in the first episode.” He’s especially proud of this Hilltop sequence, as well as many other favorites. Two more sequences that he mentions with special pride he dubs “Tokyo Alley” and “The Vault,” but Silvera won’t elaborate on those cryptic titles just yet. “I don’t want to give away too much.” Fans who’ve already read the comic can probably guess what he’s talking about. “It starts off big and it stays that way up to the very end.”
And for those fans familiar with Frank Quitely’s spectacular art, Silvera adds “We do our best to match those panels and the emotion that he puts into them. He really set the bar for us. And I think we met it.”
Superhero Boot Camp
As with many casts, most of the Jupiter’s Legacy actors have minimal background in martial arts or stunts. However, Silvera prefers it that way. “You get to figure out their characters and their movement in a different way.” He’d have ideas for them and then see something natural come out of their body language, which he would cultivate into something new and exciting.
The cast was put through vigorous training where Silvera says they all worked extremely hard. “Literally a month of bootcamp with the lead actors training every day with our fight team and fight coordinator.” The cast would come in and work on basic movements and fight drills. “And then they would ride the wire for hours because there’s a lot of flying in the show.”
As Supervising Stunt Coordinator, Silvera is quick to credit his fight and stunt rigging team. Micah Karns is the fight coordinator and Jayson Dumenigo is the 2nd Unit Stunt Coordinator and Key Rigger, a critical role for a flying superhero show. The threesome has worked together since Daredevil and teamed up again for several successive projects including Deadpool, Terminator, Pacific Rim, and Love, Death & Robots.
cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });
“We have such a tight workflow at this point, from the years of us working together, that we know how to expedite things,” Silvera says. “We know how to keep up the pace. And we’re definitely doing seven days a week on this show.” The stunt team worked hand-in-hand with the cast for months to achieve the action that they wanted. “I’m super excited to see them and what they did come together on screen.”
The post Jupiter’s Legacy: Choreographing Superheroic Stunts appeared first on Den of Geek.
from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3o84dlO
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Korean boy band member Nichkhun on life as a K-pop idol
By: Natasha Gillespie-Wong
December 29, 2020
Singer, songwriter, rapper, model and now Hollywood actor, Nichkhun is a man of many talents. The Thai-American, who’s currently based in South Korea, gives Natasha Gillespie-Wong an insight into life as a K-pop idol. Moving effortlessly in front of the camera, Nichkhun Buck Horvejkul, better known as Nichkhun, obviously knows his best angles. A quiet confidence shines through as he expertly works each garment into the frame. A few more outfit changes, a quick snack and he’s ready for the interview. Without the cameras on him, Nichkhun’s demeanour changes and a soft-spoken, almost shy man sits before me.
Brought up between Thailand and California, Nichkhun was scouted by JYP Entertainment as a teenager in Los Angeles, and so began his whirlwind adventure to K-pop superstardom. Speaking fluent Thai, English and Korean, Nichkhun quickly became the darling of Southeast Asia. Now, he’s treading the boards in Hong Kong ahead of his Hollywood debut in Hong Kong Love Story.
You’re multilingual and have lived all over the world. What aspects of your international upbringing influence your work and work ethic?
I think being and living in different countries, experiencing so many cultures, opens doors. It gives you perspective. When I talk to someone who’s been around the world or has lived somewhere else before, they tend to be more understanding. Experiencing different cultures gives you an understanding of why people behave the way they do. So I think in that sense it plays a big role in my career and my work ethic.
When you’re working, you deal with a lot of different people, from different upbringings. A lot of the time people don’t even know they’re doing something you’re not used to so when you’re understanding of different cultures and norms, you don’t get frustrated. I really encourage my friends or people around me to travel more, not just for a couple of days, but to get out and meet local people and talk to them, learn a bit about their language and about their culture. I think that that really helps a lot and not just for work, but for your life.
You were scouted at 18 and had to learn to sing, dance and speak new languages. What new things did you learn about yourself through your work? Was there anything that surprised you about the training?
I was never very good at singing and dancing. [JYP Entertainment] recruited me to go to Korea. When I was there, I started training and they would ask me, “Why are you not good? Why can’t you sing? Why can’t you dance?” I was a bit taken aback because I thought to myself, “You saw my audition tape, you know what I can do”, which, to be honest, at the time was nothing. But then I started to understand that they just wanted to motivate me. I’m part of the company and I have to measure up to their standards.
The guys who were already in the company had some skills before coming in. So I had to work extra hard; I think that was the hardest part for me. Living and moving to Korea and adapting to Korea wasn’t that hard, just the training was not easy. I think what surprised me most about working in this industry is myself. I started off with no skills and zero confidence and I was so shy that I couldn’t even speak in front of a class to give a presentation or anything. I surprised myself. I think the first couple of times I went on stage, I thought I was going to freeze, but I didn’t. And that taught me that if you try hard enough, if you want something, you can do it.
I read that your mum never expected you to pursue performing as a career. What fuels your passion for the arts? Did you perform as a child at all?
When I was growing up, I would do school concerts and festivals but never anything serious. I never thought I would perform in front of a real audience, outside of my school. Once you’re on stage professionally, it’s a different story. When I found out that I could perform, maybe not that well or maybe not as perfect as I wanted it to be, that just drove me to be more thirsty and I just wanted it more. I just wanted to be better.
As a member of 2PM, what do you think your personality specifically brings to the group? And what are some of the challenges of working as a group?
I think I’m the international bridge that connects the group to places outside Korea. If the group were only Korean members, the reach would be very Korean. But because I’m there, I make the group a little more international. Me and Taecyeon, because he grew up in Boston.
In Korean culture, younger people usually can’t speak up to the older ones. But we’re all friends, colleagues, partners. So whatever problems we have we talk it out. It doesn’t matter if you’re the youngest or the oldest, we just call a meeting and we talk about it. I think that’s how we’ve remained so close for so long.
Because music is art, sometimes less is more but sometimes more is more so we have to find a balance. We haven’t perfected it, but we’re still on the way, still learning a lot. What I’ve learned is you can never satisfy the public completely.
What was it like to go out on your own as a solo artist?
I never thought I’d do my own music, because in 2PM I have five other members to cover for me if I make a mistake. But when they went off to the military, I promised the fans that I wouldn’t leave them. That’s when I came out with an album and started touring. I called my first solo album ME, because I wanted the fans to hear what I listened to or what I wanted to make, not what’s trendy. I never thought I could sing and dance all by myself for two and a half hours on stage, but I’ve done it. I just keep learning new things about myself through work. I’m very fortunate that this is my job, it’s a blessing. The music industry is so dynamic. Do you find it hard to keep up at all or do you not pay too much attention to that?
I don’t think about that much. To me, music is timeless. I listen to the same old songs that I like, and I think that’s just who I am. It’s not just with music but with fashion too. My fans are always saying, “Please go shopping! Please update your wardrobe!” But growing up, my dad would wear the same shoes until they broke. Then he would fix them and wear them more, until he couldn’t fix them anymore. So my mentality is very much, if it ain’t broke, why fix it? I find buying things for myself hard as well. I would rather spend money on things to share, like food and good experiences. I pay for things like taking my family on a trip. We all have fun, make good memories.
For me, the most important thing is staying true to myself, because the industry will always want something new. The latest sound or instrument, you might use it in your music, but then because it takes maybe four or five months to produce, the sound has changed. So that’s why with ME, because I didn’t know what the audience would want to hear at the time of release, I just stuck to what I wanted the public to hear. I’m not aiming for a number one hit song every time, I’m just trying to show off my colours.
How did you make the leap from music to TV and movies? Are the industries very different?
Acting was kind of a natural next step for me. In this industry, there are so many avenues you can explore. You start in music, you can move from performing to production or recording music to recording film. For me, I think I was always interested and intrigued by acting. I’ve had so many great opportunities, I got lucky and now I’m in an American film and it all came from a series of opportunities and me being fortunate.
The main difference I’ve noticed is the feedback. With music you get an immediate reaction from the crowd, you perform and you get recognition. With acting, it’s delayed. It can take months or even years for a movie to come out so the feedback is very, very delayed. I think that’s the only big difference between music and movies.
You’ve portrayed characters from a marathon runner to a student involved in a murder case. How has acting helped you discover new aspects of yourself?
The roles I’ve played so far have just been characters that people can relate to, that I relate to, it’s just a bit of myself. I’m not a method actor. I just kind of forget it when I go home and then when I’m back on set I get back into it. I don’t take it home with me; I don’t know if that’s good or bad.
Because I haven’t had a very intense, sophisticated role, I don’t know if I could pull to that extreme. I would need to spend a lot of time with a character like that.
I’m still in the learning stage and am always happy to have a new challenge. I’m just trying to go deeper with each character, even if he’s not a serious person or, you know, like a psycho killer. But still, I’m trying to dig in a little more, trying to give this character more dimension, and also bring a bit more fun. I think I’m just starting to learn to worry less about getting the script right and just becoming a character.
Before I was just feeling I can’t get the lines wrong. And that’s not the most important thing. You know, you can play around with characters, unless you meet a really strict director, which I haven’t yet. I think that’s the greatest thing about being an artist for me. You might get given a subject, but within that radius, within that circle, you can bounce around so much that you don’t have to be just one thing. I think that’s the beauty of the industry.
You’ve made a big impact helping UNICEF raise awareness and funds for children’s rights. How important is it to you to give back to society?
There are so many issues that we are blind to. Little things like clean water to drink, safe places. It’s very important that these kids have the opportunity to grow up to be healthy, educated and strong. I’m so thankful that UNICEF chose me to be one of their ambassadors. Being a spokesperson is more important than just donations. If I’m spreading the message, then that will hopefully have an impact on others too. In my position, I live off of people’s love so it’s very important for me to give some of that love back and not just take all the time.
Who is your #legend?
My parents. I’ve met so many great people throughout my life, but no matter where I go or what I do, I find myself thinking back to things my parents said. I’ve realised that you can have hundreds of idols in your life, whom you really respect, but the people you should respect the most are your parents. Even though I didn’t really listen to them as a child, they made me who I am today. I’ve been living on my own for 21 years now and I could have gone the wrong way, but thanks to my parents’ teaching I’ve managed to stay on a somewhat straight path. Whenever I went off the road a little bit, I always came back, thanks to my parents.
CREDITS Creative Direction and Styling / Alvin Goh Photography / Erfan Shekarriz Art Direction / Djiun Wang Videographer / Feicien Feng Video Editor / Feicien Feng & Simarpreet Kaur Panjeta Make-Up / Alvin Goh Hairstyling / Peter Cheng Assistants / Feicien Feng, Elizabeth Kezia, Lyly Chan, John Marcus, Kenna Chiu
Source: https://hashtaglegend.com/magazine/digital-exclusive/nichkhun-brooks-brothers-kpop-interview/
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“Would You Rather...?” Drabble 06 - Reader x Yoongi [Suga] (Angst / Smut)
Would you rather fight with Yoongi a lot only to have the greatest makeup sex or have sweet sensual sex with Jungkook only once a week (or less) cuz he’s so busy?
This is a lot angstier than a situation I’d actually choose and is faster paced than what I usually write since I tried my hardest to make it a short piece [it’s still like 2.5k words though lmao] so I’m sorry if it loses the vibe because in one paragraph something’s just starting and in the next it’s already done hahhahaha
My new fic masterlist is here (I will no longer be updating the old one)
One last note: I remembered the ‘keep reading’ link this time to not take up your feeds - sorry for before
Send me BTS “Would You Rather…?” questions in my ask box for a drabble
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“Say You Love Me”
An aura of suspense filled the room as you were alone with your ex boyfriend for the first time since you two had broken up. It was so bitter towards the end when the two of you were slamming doors and raising voices. It was only a few weeks ago since the two of you mutually decided to break things off in the midst of both your frustrations and anger towards each other.
But now he is standing here in front of you, it feels just like yesterday. Any hint of progress you made in moving on, vanished. Any rational thoughts about what went wrong, faded. Any moments you were convinced you don’t need him, forgotten about.
You only came back to the old house this evening to collect a few things after realising you left a few important documents here. It was just your luck that at the exact same time you had decided to make a visit, so had he. Who is he? Yoongi Min.
“What are you doing here?” you huffed at the sight of him entering the poorly lit living room just moments ago. It seems the electric had been cut off already probably from not paying the bill.
“Hello to you too” Yoongi had retorted.
“Look I’m just here to get a few papers and then I’m outta here so I’d appreciate it if you could just give me my space” you instructed, fumbling about in drawers for what you needed.
“Now why doesn’t that surprise me?” he sighed and although you weren’t looking at him at that time, you could actually hear him folding his arms.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Never mind. What’s the point? We’ve been here already” he grunted.
“You’re right, I think I do know what you mean”
“Yeah, but did you really y/n?” he questioned, voice raising. “Because from what I could tell, I was about to give you my fucking everything and you threw it all back in my face because, and I quote ‘too intense’!”
Things had escalated super fast as he was full on yelling at you once again, just like in the argument that broke you two up.
“Well excuse me for wanting some me time!” you protested, finally finding the sheets of paper you were looking for.
“You call that ‘me time’? Constantly pushing me away whenever I showed you any affection? Dismissing the things I would say about how much I loved you?” he blared in frustration before toning it down again. “You broke me y/n. What else was I supposed to think when all you did was…”
“And you should have trusted me!” you interrupted.
“And I trusted you! I trusted you so fucking much! You pushed me to breaking point though!”
“Just because I didn’t want to spend everyday with you didn’t mean I stopped loving you” you muttered.
“Sorry, what was that?” Yoongi asked in shock. It made your heart sink too.
Love. It was a feeling you were too scared to ever admit. Your heart felt irreparable after the hurt a previous relationship brought you a long time ago. You were frightened when you realised you’d fallen hopelessly in love with Yoongi, but you went for it when he expressed that he wanted to be more than your friend. Yet you couldn’t ever find it in you to tell him you loved him. That you still do.
“I said…” you stammered, unable to repeat yourself.
“You used the word ‘love’” he said, eyebrows furrowed and mouth open in disbelief. “You never said that to me before”
Tears involuntarily escaped your eyes and you let out a sniffle. You put down the stupid papers and you could hear Yoongi take a step closer to you as you tried to dry your eyes, bringing you to this point right now.
“I really did love you Yoongs” you admit, the delayed expression of emotion pouring out. “I was scared, I…”
“...should have told me you were scared, y/n. We were supposed to be able to tell each other everything and anything”
“It’s not always that easy” you remind him.
“It’s not too late either�� he adds on, watching you take a seat on the sofa, head in your hands.
He walks over to sit next to you, hand on your shoulder to comfort you. You look up at him, face to face for the first time in what feels like years. Perfectly perfect. His face so handsome and his heart so kind. You hate yourself for hiding from your feelings to the extent that you lost him.
You’re looking into each other’s eyes, reading everything both of you are unable to say. Hurt. Regret. But also love that hasn’t gone, not yet.
It’s almost uncontrollable, your urge to feel his lips pressed against yours once again and before you know it, your head is tilting slightly to one side.
Despite the circumstances, this is the best kiss you’ve ever experienced because of how much you missed Yoongi. You want more and it seems so does he as he kisses you back, leading to a string of passionate, heartfelt kisses.
It only feels natural that your hands begin to explore him, that you get to touch his body again, You stroke a hand down his chest and to his leg. Your hand rests on his leg as you continue with just kissing. You might have gone too far however when you allow for your hand to trail up a little and towards his crotch because he pulls away.
“Y/n I-I-I don’t want to take advantage. You’re vulnerable” he tells you, his breathing heavy from the intensity of the situation.
“I promise I’ll talk, for real… I will, I just… I need this” you tell him desperate for his touch, a sudden rush of lust and desire overcoming you. “I need you Yoongi”
“I need you to tell me you love me” he asks of you, longingly, his hand on your still teary cheek.
You kiss his lips again “I love you” you tell him, followed by a kiss on his cheek. “I love you so fucking much” you continue followed by a kiss on his neck which causes him to groan a little and stroke your hair and in return, you hand starts to stroke along his leg once more.
“I love you too, y/n” he pants with a gulp, adam’s apple bobbing up and down.
“I missed you” you tear up looking back at his face and he cups yours.
“Show me how much you missed me” he demands though his wishes are unclear.
“Anything” you reply.
“Let’s go upstairs” he smiles lovingly, standing up and bringing you up with him. He leads you upstairs and into the old bedroom you once shared.
Before you even reach the bed itself, you’re passionately making out, exploring each other’s bodies, lightly undressing each other as his jacket comes off and his shirt unbuttoned and you kick your shoes off.
“Tell me what you missed about me” he instructs as the two of you sit on the edge of the bed, continuing to make out.
“The way you make me feel” you pant, followed by a couple of kisses. “Your eyes, your smile” you continue to list, allowing Yoongi to kiss your neck, wet sounds resounding deliciously into your ear. “Your kind heart… I was so dumb”
He grabs one of your slightly shaky hands and you get to feel his semi-erect cock through his trousers. “How much did you miss this?” he asks menacingly, purring into your ear.
“So fucking much” you admit.
“I bet you missed this the most, didn’t you?” he challenges.
“No” is all you can utter, chest starting to heave as he places a hand on your trousers, teasing at you increasingly throbbing womanhood.
Yoongi eases you backward so that you’re laying on the bed underneath him as he goes on all fours at your side to hover above you.
“Did you… did you see anyone else while we were apart?” he asks.
“No one” you truthfully tell him.
“Good” he smirks. “Promise me you’re mine” he requests.
“I’m all yours Yoongi” you tell him, providing him with the reassurance he clearly seeks.
Your trousers are tugged at and pulled off in an instant as he swiftly whips them off you to your surprise.
“And this pussy is all mine too then, yeah?”
“Always baby”
Yoongi pushes your pants to one side, desperate to devour you. “I love it when you call me that” he coos, tongue then teasing at your clit.
“Oh, Yoongi!” you exhale in delight even though he’s barely started.
Contrastingly to the kitten licks he just gave you, he presses his tongue flat against you. Sighs of pleasure escape your breath to which he hums contentedly which buzzes pleasurably on your sensitive area.
“So fucking good” you praise as he brings you close to climax.
“Oh, baby” he exclaims, voice vibrating at your clit once more. Yoongi always did love it when you said out loud how good he is in the bedroom. He loves to hear you say his name. He loves to know he’s doing a good job.
“I-I’m close” you moan as his tongue picks up speed with the circles he’s drawing.
At the very last moment, he adds in a finger which slides in with such ease because of your wetness for him. He increases it to two fingers after just a few thrusts and you see stars as he helps you reach orgasm.
“Yoongi! Fuck!” you exclaim at your very peak of pleasure.
“That’s right; say my name” he commands, riding out your high with just his fingers.
“Yoongi… I have to taste you” you state, arousal still high.
“Where did you wanna taste baby?” he teases, fully well knowing the answer to that question.
“Your trousers” you reply, sitting up. “Take them off”
He does exactly as he is told and gets off the bed to unzip and lose the trousers as you climb off the bed.
“Sit in that chair baby” you tell him. “Let me treat you now” you smirk as you watch him sit and then you fall to your knees met by the sight of the bulge that is aching to be freed from his boxers.
You don’t take the boxers off fully; instead you pull them down only enough to reveal what’s underneath.
Yoongi always did have a beautiful cock. It angles a little to his right and his head is a gorgeous, delectable shade of pink. You hold it firmly, precum dripping out onto the back of your hand and you begin to pump up and down slowly, almost painfully slowly.
“Ahhh, don’t tease me babe” he commands, a hand running through your hair. “Let me fuck that pretty little face of yours”
With a few more teasing pumps and licks, you give in, taking him in almost whole the first time he’s in your mouth and Yoongi could swear this is the best your mouth has ever worked on him as he watches your head go up and down. He can’t help but guide your head down to take him in just a little further, hungry for more and it really hits the spot.
“Mmm….” he hums deliciously, pleasure continuing to stir inside of him. “Oh shit, baby, you’re gonna have to stop, I’m too close. We both know I have to be in you”
You lift your head up for a final time, a small pop sound happening as your mouth leaves his aching cock.
As if you read each other’s minds, the shirts finally come off and are slung onto the floor and all underwear is discarded.
You’re back on the bed on your back with Yoongi on top kissing you like there’s no tomorrow. You’re exploring each other’s bodies as if it’s your first time doing this together and you each just have to take in every little detail of one another.
You roll Yoongi over so that you’re on top and guide him backwards to sit up. You straddle him, your wetness pressing against his dick and even this humping brings immense pleasure to the both of you as you sigh into each other’s mouths.
You remember how much Yoongi enjoyed the faces you made for him when he made you feel good, so you’re sure to let him see you biting your lip, eyes closed.
“Fuck baby, I’m not gonna last much longer like this” he tells you, fingers gripping tightly into the skin of your hips as you continue to grind on him.
You transition from grinding on him to allowing him inside you as you guide his cock to go inside you. Moans of pleasure erupt from both of your throats as he enters you. Your arms are now around his neck. He’s looking up at you with loose lips and a relaxed gaze, occasionally staring down at your breasts which bounce up and down as the rest of you does.
Looking into each other’s eyes means everything right now. The eye contact only enhances the feelings of pleasure and raw emotion. You bounce and you bounce on that dick until you feel weak, almost too weak to keep the pace going but Yoongi assists by thrusting deep into you, his hips now going up and down.
“Gonna come” you utter, deeply in pleasure.
“Tell me you love me” he demands.
“I-I-I” you stammer, just seconds away from climax. “Oh my god! I love you Yoongi! I love you, I love you, I love you!”
Your string of proclamations of love seem to really hit the spot for both of you. Tears stream from your eyes both in pleasure and emotion for Yoongi and you appear to simultaneously come for each other.
“I love you too y/n!” he groans as you feel his hot see ejecting into you whilst you also reach orgasm.
You both ride it out just a little longer so that you both can finish until you pull out and collapse onto him. He strokes your hair lovingly and catches his breath before speaking again.
“All that stuff you said; was it for real?” he asks.
Your heart sinks a little at how insecure you’ve made him just because of your own past trauma.
“It was Yoongi. I can’t believe I lost you just because I couldn’t swallow my pride and open up” you sigh, appreciating the feeling of being able to rest your head on his chest.
“I don’t want to push you into doing anything you’re uncomfortable with though, just to let you know” he assures.
“I know, I know… in the morning, I want to do this properly. We’ll talk, like two civilised adults should… That is, if you’ll listen or even consider having me back” you sigh, drawing circles on his bare chest with a finger.
“One step at a time, yeah?” he sighs back.
“Yeah” you agree, yawning afterward.
“You sound tired and it is getting late. Let’s sleep on it and we’ll talk over coffee and breakfast” he suggests, humming in a lazy way.
“I’m sorry Yoongi. For all of this” you apologise.
“I’m just glad to be here with you.”
“Me too”
#bts#bts fic#bts fiction#bts angst#bts smut#bts fanfic#suga#bts suga#suga fic#suga fiction#suga angst#suga smut#suga fanfic#yoongi#min yoongi#yoongi fic#yoongi fanfic#yoongi fiction#yoongi angst#yoongi smut#suga x reader#yoongi x reader#bts x reader#bts drabble#bts would you rather
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Jedi Philosophy
I, like many, grew up with dreams of wielding a lightsaber, learning the ways of the Force and becoming a Jedi. I suppose it's something that I never fully grew out of, as I trace my now long history and training in the martial arts to the classic tale of Star Wars. But as we grow older, we're supposed to forget about our heroes, and let childish fantasy be forgotten. While this may seem like prudent advice, I believe that it is the loss of our dreams that rob us of far more than childish naiveté.
Nor does it seem that I am unique or alone in this position. Starting in 2001, national censuses of many countries started to receive responses to a citizens' religion as "Jedi". And why not - the image of the Jedi is a potent one: a spiritual warrior, dedicated to both uplifting others as well as developing his own skill, focus and inner power.
And yet, it is a myth; a thing of childish fantasy. What possible reason, aside from a fear of growing up and facing the world on adult terms, could we have in holding the ideal, image and philosophy of the Jedi in such regard that so many would report it as their religion? I don't think any of the census jedi actually own a lightsaber (at least not a working one), or have cultivated their connection with the Force to the extent that they are able to lift small cars into the air with a thought and a gesture. And yet, our fascination with the impossible remains.
You see, our minds are, on an evolutionary standpoint, rather new to the whole language gig. 200,000 to 300,000 years ago, our early ancestors were more focused on skills of survival than on social communication and deciphering the atom. What that means is that our minds are good at remembering (and imagining; the two are not that far apart) visual stimuli (originally categorized into 'things I can eat' and 'things that can eat me'), and spatial orientation ('things I can eat can be found here, things that eat me are over there'). As we began communicating with one another and developing language, we didn't abandon these things. We began to tell stories and myths - some to entertain, some to make sense of the things we could not understand in the world. The new power of language didn't rewrite our minds, it adapted itself to what was already there.
And within this framework of storytelling and mythology, the foundations of how we relate to and understand our world is found. I'm not trying to dismiss scientific understanding - far from it. Science is the mechanism that has allowed us to take the unreal and make it real howtomeditatelikeaJedi.
For starters, another value of the mythology of the Jedi is that it belongs to us. I'm not trying to challenge the copyright or the legal ownership Mr. George Lucas has on the franchise he created, I'm pointing out that the myth that we have all grown to connect with is OURS in the same way that the stories of Hercules and the Argonauts belonged to the ancient Greeks. There is no baggage there, no traditions from a bygone era. At the same time, the philosophy Mr. Lucas used in the movies had real world inspiration: primarily the warrior philosophy of the Japanese Samurai, Bushido. It's also where inspiration of many of the costumes came from - in fact, Star Wars, Episode IV was BASED on an old, black and white, Samurai movie called "The Hidden Fortress".
My purpose in outlining all of this is to establish that while Star Wars and the Jedi are completely fictional, this does not preclude them, or the philosophy we can draw from them, from being significant. Joseph Campbell is the most famous researcher and philosopher who analyzed and discussed the power mythology has in reflecting our own inner journey, and I encourage anyone who is interesting in learning more about this phenomenon to look to his works for further knowledge.
This leads us to the topic at hand: the philosophy of the Jedi themselves. Most places I've visited on the web typically draw reference and quotations from the Star Wars movies and books and extrapolate based on the author's interpretation of them. However, as we saw above, the roots of Jedi philosophy lay in Bushido (primarily), and in the traditional warrior culture and philosophy of many other cultures. To fully appreciate the philosophy of the Jedi, it is beneficial to understand where these.
There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force. -The Jedi Code (Based on the meditations of Odan-Urr)
This is the traditional Jedi Code which you can find many interpretations of throughout the Internet (just Google "Jedi Code" and you'll find a raft of them).
1. There is no emotion, there is peace.
Most interpretations of this tenant agree that it is not referring to REMOVING emotions (come on, it's not like we're talking Star Trek here...), but in learning to not be overwhelmed or controlled by them. On the surface, it warns against the passionate abuse of power - to strike out in anger, fear or revenge is to give in to the Dark Side.
Yet we need to look deeper to fully appreciate this: remember that a Jedi's greatest foe is himself, not some external enemy. The Jedi seeks not to become passion-less, but free from the limiting perception, the 'tunnel vision' that we will touch again in the third tenant, that overwhelming emotions can bring. At the same time, this tenant powerfully expresses the position of the Jedi to become responsible for the peace around him. Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is our ability to cope and adapt to it. There are a thousand legitimate reasons we may or may not be as happy, successful or content with our lives or whatever situation we may be placed in. While we can often point to a person or thing that prevented us from achieving, the Jedi realizes the real enemy is within himself, and it is always cloaked in an emotion - be it fear, anger, or more deceptively... pride.
2. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
This is another well travelled but often misunderstood (or at least only partially understood) tenant. Yes, it refers to a Jedi's dedication to learn, grow and become greater tomorrow than they are today. It refers to their dedication to truth, especially when faced with knowledge that is uncomfortable or inconvenient. But... too often we associate the concept of knowledge as something we gain from the OUTSIDE. But the greatest challenge, the greatest place of ignorance any of us will face, is our lack of understanding and knowledge about ourselves.
The Chinese General and master tactician Sun Tzu wrote, "If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle."
The message is to observer yourself truthfully, examining even the 'nasty bits' that we would prefer to pretend don't exist. When we do, as strange thing happens: those dark places become illuminated and cease to be hooks where the Dark Side can take root.
3. There is no passion, there is serenity.
In many ways this is a repeat of the first tenant - which isn't a redundancy, it only stresses the importance of the first tenant. At the same time, it also contains additional meanings.
It is very similar to the concept in Japanese Bushido known as "No Mind" - not as in "mind-less" but as in a state completely free from distraction. The mind, powerful as it is, can travel to any point in the past (memories), future and any place in between (imagination). But when the mind is still, calm, and free of internal 'chatter', the capabilities of the individual become incredibly heightened.
Even without talking about a 'Force', this is true. The mind at peace is capable of lightning fast reaction and response - there is no doubt, fear, pride or anger to cloud its actions. Martial artists strive to understand and make this state of mind habitual though meditation - in the same way that the Jedi do. The best way to describe this state is that of a tornado - the outside of the tornado is chaotic, furious and powerful, yet the center is calm. So too is the Jedi's mind, even when there is chaos around it, it has a calm, uncompromising inner center. For the Jedi, this state of mind can also be referred to being "one with the Force."
4. There is no chaos, there is harmony.
Ah, harmony... something martial artists have been talking about for hundreds of years. Of course physical balance (harmony of the body) is part of this, but this we understand is an extension of the mental balance within the Jedi. If the mind is frantic, distracted or troubled, it is obvious in the physical stance and posture. Balance is often depicted as the "Yin/Yang" symbol in Chinese philosophy, in a similar way that the Jedi depict the force as "Light" and "Dark". It is a depiction of opposites: hard and soft, left and right, up and down, inner and outer. More importantly (again, for our current purposes) is that these opposites are in a state of constant CHANGE. Hard WILL BECOME soft, and soft WILL BECOME hard. The longer something remains at one extreme, the closer it comes to becoming its opposite. This is the natural law of the universe - when we work against it, we become weaker. When we work with it, we are able to cultivate more power and energy to accomplish our goals.
Water for example is soft, yet given time will erode the hardest stone. In the same way, if we try to get stronger by overworking our minds and bodies, we will end up insured, over-stressed and weaker. Understanding the natural law of balance is essential.
An old Buddhist fable goes that three monks one day walked down to the river for some water. This particular area of the river had fast and unforgiving currents, and was well known as an area where people who have fallen in had drowned. As they arrived, they noticed an old man on the opposite bank slip and fall into the water. Frantically they raced about calling to the old man and trying somehow to help, seeing his head bob up to the surface just before quickly being drawn back down. After what seemed like a hopeless time, they began to mourn the loss of another life to the unforgiving river.
Suddenly, farther down the river, one of the monks spotted the old man walking out of the river laughing to himself at the folly of it all. Racing over to him, they found he was in fine health, if a bit embarrassed at having slipped into the river.
"How is it," the monks asked, " that you have survived these rapids, when so many others, many far stronger than you, have lost their lives here?"
"Simple," replied the old man. "When the current brought me to the surface, I took a deep breath. When it pulled me down, I didn't fight it, I just held my breath and waited for the current to bring me to the surface again."
At first, this interpretation does not seem to jive well with the depiction of the conflict we see between the Jedi and the Sith, but I disagree. Remember the second tenant, we must seek knowledge over ignorance, especially within ourselves. The Sith are examples of warriors who have forgotten this, and allow themselves to place power over wisdom, while the Jedi, understanding the natural law of change, achieve balance of the Light and Dark forces that naturally exist within us all. This is what is means to walk the Path of the Light Side - it is walking in balance.
5. There is no death, there is the Force.
This is similar to the Samurai maxim to ``embrace death,`` since a return to the Force is still an end to a Jedi`s life as he or she currently knows it. In embracing death, in accepting the eventual end of his life, the Samurai lets go of any remaining fear that holds him back. At the same time, knowledge of one`s mortality heightens one`s appreciation of life, both one`s own and others.
This is also the ultimate expression of non-attachment, and accepting the knowledge that all things are transitory and impermanent. To remain attached to any person, place or thing is to open oneself up to suffering, fear, anger... and the Dark Side.
And yet, as the old saying goes, ``the more things change, the more they stay the same.`` When we accept change as inevitable, we realize that while friends, for example, may leave us, new ones will move forward to fill that void. Such is the way of the Force.
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Always/2
Fanfiction
Part 2
Elijah Mikaelson x reader/Elena
Summary: Elijah Mikaelson and Y/N/E are happily married. But night everything changes. What has disrupted their life- read and find out.
a/n: thanks so much for reading, and all your likes. xoxo
tags @rissyrapp20 @cassienoble2000 @dendrite-lover @captainshurley @hides2000
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Dream sequence
"I am so happy!!"- Y/N/E says kissing Elijah, smiling as she pulls him onto bed with her. "Oh, me too. Eloping was the best idea"- Elijah says slowly working his way through the side buttons of her wedding dress as she places kisses on his nose, on his cheek, on his lips, on his neck, feeling how his hand slides through the opening of the dress around her back making her tremble with passion arising . "I so want you"- she makes a little gasp as their eyes meet for a second. "Always-"-he gasps back. "Always!"- Elena mutters and as he moves forward to kiss her she is not there. He frantically gets up and walks through a door into nothing.
The buzzing now broke Elijah from sweet dream. Looking around, he reached for the phone on the night stand. Seeing it was Dr Fell’s number, he swiped it open in a flash-
”Hello-"-he said with a hollow feeling in his stomach kicking in. For some strange reason, his first thought is panic.
"Dr Fell here-"-Meredith said. "Yes-"-Elijah said cutting in. "Your wife- Y/N/E- woke up-" "What- she did? Really?"- his voice was elated not entirely comprehending still if this was a dream or reality.
Meredith continued- "Yes, your wife is awake. I will speak to you when you get here."
"Yes. I am on my way"- Elijah said and they both hung up.
He dressed as fast as he could. Taking his car keys, he now called Miranda Gilbert to let her know Y/N/E got out of the vegetative state, as he solemnly promised her he would and then Rebekah, who jumped out of her bed after hearing the news.
As he was driving to the hospital, he tried the fight a terrible thought out of his mind- something is not right- Meredith sounded way too serious. Something is not right. Something is not right. Please, let it be right.
In the hospital
Meredith and her team had already done the first tests as Y/N/E woke up. It was two hours earlier.
Though it was 6.a.m., she now placed a call to her colleague, who was the best in the field of neurology and post-coma recovery.
"Hey, Stefan"- Meredith said-"I hope you had your run already"
"Yes. Just got out, I’m having some breakfast. I guess it must be something important to call me so early"-Stefan said.
"Oh, yes. Y/N/E Mikaelson is awake"
"Finally"- Stefan said-"so, the new meds worked?!"
"They did. I need you to come and do some more tests. I am flying to Italy to a conference this afternoon, and I need you to take over for me till I get back"
"Sure. I'll be there in half an hour"- Stefan confirmed.
"Thanks"- Meredith hung up and went to get all preliminary analysis from the team.
And Y/N/E? She looked at everyone like a scared animal, trying to comprehend what was going on. She tried to say something, but her brain was not letting her and feeling a frustration set in, she just made an uncontrollable sound.
*Whatever challenge life throws in front of you, never stop, never kneel down and think this it, you can't do way more, If you are beaten down, you keep being kicked over and over again, You get up and you dust yourself off And walk with your head held high
Words came floating out of nowhere into Y/N/E's head.
"Don't strain yourself"- dr Black, one of the neurologist of the team, said to Y/N/E now -"Dr Meredith will do some more tests, and for now just answer these questions by blinking with your eyes- once for yes and two for no. And if you are not sure hold your hand up. Ok?"
Y/N/E blinked once. Feeling a tad bit calmer.
“Good.” - dr Balck said smiling reassuringly-”Can we go on?”
Y/N/E blinked again for a yes.
And they proceeded with the tests.
By that time Elijah had arrived with Rebekah following right behind him, they were still going through with the last test. He wanted to get in Y/N/E's room, but he was asked to wait a little while longer.
"What is going on? Please tell me! I need to know - whatever it is-"-he said nervously looking at Rose, who now tried to calm him down by telling him that they were still with Y/N/E running the last tests.
Rebekah calmed Elijah down making him see that it was routine like Rose had explained.
Elijah, who had always been the most comprehensive and patient one, now walked through the doors of the unit where Y/N/E's room was. Rebekah followed him. And as he nearly got to the room, Meredith got out almost bumping into him.
"Oh, Mr Mikaelson-?!"- Meredith was startled a bit.
Elijah gathered himself a bit now taking a step back realizing that his emotions completely took over him- "I apologize-I just-"
"It's all right. I understand. Please- let me tell you first -"
"Is she all right? What is going on?"-Elijah asked.
Before Meredith could answer, Miranda and Greyson burst in and having picked up on Elijah's anxiety now urged Meredith to speak.
"Calm down, please. Y/N/E is fine, but not entirely. Not just yet.Can we go to my office and I will explain"- Meredith said and urged them to follow her to the nurses station, where she could explain exactly what the first results were showing and how they will approach Y/N/E.
"She is still very disorientated. Her speech is impaired, and she can only answer questions with mimics. She does comprehend where she is, and the EEG and CT scan show no brain damage, but she suffers a great memory loss. When asked about her name she could not answer with a yes, but with 'I am not sure'. So, when you get in you need to be very calm, positive. Don't get alarmed if she is not responding to you at all."
Elijah nodded. His heart was joyous but at the same time felt like it was pierced with a dull knife.
As he was her next of kin, he had the right to go first, which had bothered Greyson immensely.
"We will never get rid of these Mikaelsons"- he sifted trying very hard to keep his cool.
"Not today Greyson, please!"- Miranda pleaded.
At the same time, Elijah just passed by Rebekah signaling silently with his eyes that things were equally good and bad, to which Rebekah just sighed a little and made a small prayer for things to get better. She sat down and now answered both messages Kol and Klaus sent, as she had notified them as well about the whole going ons.
*
There were challenges in their lives. They faced them all. Now another one looms in front of them. And it felt like he was walking through the darkest night for quite some time now. And the phone call felt like the dawn broke finally. The sun is here... to rise. But not yet. Not just yet. One challenge more. Nevermind. They will meet it head on, as they have always done.Together.
Elijah walked in the room putting a wholehearted smile on, his eyes sparkling with the grandest happiness as he comes near her.
"Y/N/E-"- he said dearly-"hello there"
She looked back at him with her charcoal warm eyes. Blank.
"It's me. Elijah"- he sat down on the chair that was put beside the bed for him.
Y/N/E now let just the sound of the first letter of his name.
"E..."- but she could not pronounce his name. She moved her head towards Davina putting her hand up slightly. Then again she turned to face Elijah again. Now blinking twice with her eyes.
"Darling- what is it? Sweetheart- I didn't mean to upset you"- Elijah said dearly now reaching for her hand.
Davina now came forward seeing Y/N/E being tad bit agitated-
"All is fine. Don't strain yourself. "
And then she turned to Elijah, and now blinked twice with her eyes for no.
"I am so sorry. She doesn't recognize you." - Davina said.
Elijah took a silent breath as this came as blow, even though he knew this could be her probable reaction.
"Small steps"- Davina said seeing this so many times with other patients and their loved ones, not responding as they had hoped they would.
Elijah nodded and looked at Y/N/E who seemed to have relaxed a bit. She closed her eyes for a moment. He caressed her hand with his thumb gently. It seemed she didn't mind that. She was calm, now just looking at him, with eyes of a lost vulnerable deer.
“My darling”- Elijah muttered, swallowing his tears.
____
Meanwhile
Kol an Klaus waited for Rebekah in a restaurant for lunch. Ever since Y/N/E's accident Elijah shut down an had not spoken to them at all. She was the bridge between them and him.
Flashback
Few days before Y/N/E's attack
"I don't understand how you and Kol still don't see that the Gilberts are full of pain and they are blinded by it"
"It's not that. But I have to support mother and father, and Kol. This whole witch-hunt against Kol has damaged our business. It gave us a bad name and people have pulled out of five of our most important projects."-Klaus said adding -"Mother said to invite you both to father's birthday party next weekend"
"What? No. And treated Y/N/E like a ghost. She doesn't deserve this."- Elijah pointed out.
"And the Gilberts? How do they treat you? You said that Greyson asked you not to come to his house again?!"- Klaus reminded his brother-"and you were just there to pick Y/N/E up."
"I can't believe I am hearing this. So, now you are going to ignore her, too?"
"I am not saying that, but this will be hard."
Rebekah strolled in and waved a little at them as she saw them sitting at their favourite table. Once, the four of them had the greatest time there, always joking, but also sharing the hardest moments. But that seemed like thousand years ago.
Finally, Rebekah sat down and ordered a large Cosmopolitan.
"It's that bad?!"- Kol said by the way his sister ordered her drink.
Rebekah updated them fully.
"How is Elijah?"- Klaus then asked.
"What do you think?"- Rebekah said taking a sip of her drink.
"I tried to call him"- Kol said-"but he had just blocked me. This cannot go on like that anymore. We messed up. But we really want Y/N/E to be all right. In all this- Elijah, has always tried to do his best for everyone, and now is paying the highest price. And I don't know how to make this better."
"It's not you guys, you know that. He just broke. Remember what they had said back then when she just got out of the surgery "- Rebekah said.
"They don't think she would ever wake up"- Klaus murmured concluding.
"How is he going to tell her that they lost the baby, too- huh- can we ever get a break-"Rebekah said.
"I am going over to him, tonight!"- Kol said resolved.
"It's not a good idea"- Rebekah said.
"It's never going to be a good idea."- Klaus remarked-"but we have to break this silence somehow. And maybe it is good that he kicks and screams at us. I am ready to take anything he will dish out"
"Me, too"- Kol said.
Rebekah sighed a little, but knowing her brothers, she knew that whatever she said now would not matter.
****
In the hospital Meredith introduced Dr Stefan Salvatore to Elijah. As Y/N/E was fell in her vegetative state nearly a year ago, Elijah spent researching about patients who were in the same condition as his wife, as well as about the recovery once they wake up. He knew of different rehabilitation centers already, and among others, he knew exactly what Stefan's center offered-
"Nice to meet you"- Elijah said-"I have considered your Rehabilitation Center. If I choose you I want the best team to work with my wife, with Y/N/E. I am willing to make a substantial donation for all your other programs as well."
"I was informed that you have already donated, not once. It helped so much with the research."- Stefan said.
"Yes. I- well-"- Elijah sighed-"Sorry that I spoke about money, the donations. You have to excuse me. I - can we reschedule this- Tomorrow?"- Elijah said suddenly feeling like his head was going to explode if he stayed with them a little while longer.
"Of course. Here is my card. Call me anytime you want."- Stefan said.
"Thank you."- Elijah took the card and apologized once again for cutting the meeting short.
Both Meredith and Stefan were very understanding. It was an extremely overwhelming day for him.
As he got out of Meredith's office, he went back to Y/N/E's room. But he didn't get in. He stayed outside, in the little corridor, looking through the window for a while. Y/N/E was now resting. Rose had just checked on her drip and seeing him there then came out to let him know that it was perfectly all right for him to get in.
"Thank you. I just - I feel like - I don't want to agitate her. Dr Fell explained how important it is that she stayed calm."- he said.
"I heard things didn't go well with her parents either"- Rose said-"I am sorry."
"It was all too much at once"- Elijah said-"but she will be fine."- he gazed at his wife as his heart drummed with hope.
Rose now left him.
"Always"- he whispered sending her a kiss putting his hand on the glass.
As he got out of the hospital, he went to walk fo a while. He needed to have a moment to himself, to take all that went on, in. His phone buzzed incisively, and he ignored every call. It was his family. Even his mother. He knew Rebekah had notified everyone. And he was not angry. But he felt he needed time on his own. His heart was heavy, but it was singing as well. She was awake. One day at the time. There is always hope. And hope had never left him.
****
Elsewhere
Rebekah let herself, Klaus and Kol into Elijah's apartment. This was not a clever move, knowing their brother would probably go ballistic, but they decided that it was the way it was going to be. A bit later, upon entering the apartment, Elijah was met by Rebekah, who told him straight out that Klaus and Kol were there as well. Elijah was calm at first when he entered the living room and then burst out shouting at them-
"I don't want you here. GET OUT"- gesturing with his hand to the door.
"No!"- Kol said-"we are not going anywhere! Not anymore! We all made a huge mistake for not coming to you earlier.Your pain is my pain. This is what you said to me when I was in jail and they wouldn't let me get bail. I was so self-absorbed in what was going on with me that I didn't get it. Then. And then, I got out-"
"I don't want to hear it."- Elijah cut him off moving aside again showing with his hand to the door-"please- I can't"
Klaus remained quiet, looking at Rebekah, who was now crying.
And Kol continued-"Please, let your pain be my pain now. Please!"
Elijah looked at his brother. He could see in his eyes, in his voice that he meant what he said.
Klaus then got up-
"We have failed you and we can't take that back. I wish I could, but we can't. Let us- start showing you that you are not alone. You have always been there for us. Don't shut us out anymore."
Elijah took a deep breath. He had no strength, he felt. And he needed it, more than ever before. He had to be strong for Y/N/E. He needed his siblings, all of them.
"I- just-"- Elijah said -"I-"
"Shush for once and let your younger brothers - and sister- help you! Be your punchbag, whatever! Yeah?"
Elijah nodded and the four of them went into a very clumsy siblings group hug.
It felt like a new dawn. Rebekah pulled out the Scarlett O'Hara quote out later as they sat down for a take away. Tomorrow is another day.
Tomorrow was another day. Get up, dust yourself off and carry on. No matter how hard it was, even when it was bleak. You always have yourself, but if you have the love an support of your family an friends, you can make the world move.
Elijah called Miranda to discuss his decision to have Y/N/E admitted in the Salvatore Clinic.
"They do have the best results in the Neuro-recovery program."- Elijah said.
"If you think so. I am eternally grateful to you for everything you have one for her."-Miranda said.
"I love you daughter. "- Elijah said
"I know. You have one all you could for Jeremy too. I am so sorry that Greyson can't see past the hate."
"He lost his only child. I understand"
"He loves Y/N/E as well, even though she is his brother's. How will she take all this? We never told her"
"None of this will be easy. It will all have to come in stages. I would like you to come to the meeting with Dr Salvatore"
"Thank you"- Miranda said.
"I will e-mail you all the details"-Elijah said and after exchanging goodbyes he went to the hospital.
For the first month, Stefan asked him to stay away. As they wanted to avoid strong emotional moments could distort her memory even more. At least until she had found her ground in the world again. Slowly integrating the story of her life, people and friends, who she was.
Elijah was there every day, meeting with her psychiatrists and speech therapist, updating him on Y/N/Es progress.
"She really shows great will to speak and that is so good"- Bonnie said-"she is pronouncing all the words quite correctly now, as she really doesn't want to use the computer as means of communication. So, tomorrow, when you meet her - don't be alarmed if she still slurs."
Elijah nodded-"Thank you Dr Bennett-Salvatore"
"I have not seen such strong will in a patient. I believe she will recovery fully."- Bonnie smiled a little- "she is quite remarkable"
"She is."- Elijah said flashing back to the time they first met.
Flashback
In a bar, ten years previously
"Come on, I have to introduce you to someone"- Sophie said to Elijah.
"Please, I really don't want to meet anyone. This another hook up you and Rebekah are planting on me. I am really not in the mood."
"It is not. She is a friend of a friend. She is an artist. Sculptor, actually. She is absolutely amazing- she is the one who made ‘The Woman with a Heart’"
"Ok?"- Elijah didn't know what his sister-in-love was talking about.
"Ugh! Don't you read papers? She won the award for it. Ah, nevermind."- Sophie was giving up.
And then Y/N/E came around the corner heading to the bar where Sophie and Elijah stood- and he looked at her as if an angel had descended from up above.
Sophie waved at her and Y/N/E came their way greeting them both in a sweet manner.
"Hey-"- Sophie said-"this is my brother-in- law Elijah Mikaelson"
Elijah and Y/N/E looked at one another as if lost in time and space.
Somehow at one point Elijah slipped a hello there- and Y/N/E repeated his name accentuating it in a special way-
"Elijah-" then making a slight pause introducing herself- "Y/N/E-"
"Y/N/E-"- he said dearly with a sweet smile flickering in his eyes.
That was the first time they met.
At home that night he was was wondering what it would be like. She didn't remember their first meeting. At least not yet. Tomorrow, it would be like meeting again for the first time. It didn't matter. What mattered was that she was recovering. That her physical health was showing great improvement, and with that her mental health would too. Stefan reassured him on the daily basis.
Rebekah, Kol and Klaus gave him the biggest boost ever that evening when they came for supper, as they all noticed that how strung up he was.
“So, this is going to be like every evening now?”- he said as he got in the apartment.
“Get used to it”- Klaus said handing him a glass of the best Bourbon.
“Thank you.”- Elijah said tearing up now.
“Hey - this is what brothers and a sister are for. “_ Kol said now patting his brother on the arm a bit.
Elijah sighed and nodded a little.
“Come on, let’s eat then”- Rebekah invited them now to the dining room.
The siblings now all went to eat together, and the night was spent revoking great memories from the childhood as well as Elijah’s escapades with Y/N/E.
__
The next day, just before he entered her room, he spoke briefly to Damon, who was Y/N/E's speech therapist.
"She is waiting for you"- Damon said-"she has practiced your name quite a lot - she is ready."
"Right"- Elijah said, feeling strangely nervous. With a little nod from both Bonnie, who also was there, he now entered the room.
Y/N/E was at the window, and as he got in, she turned around, putting a little smile on.
"Eli-jah"- she said.
"Y/N/E-hello"
"Hello-"- she paused a little and then said- "how- are you?"
"How am I?"- Elijah said faintly and tried to keep his tears at bay- walking towards her slowly-"I am fine". Y/N/E sat down on the chair at a little table. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to her. She looked well, even though her eyes still had a glimmer of being lost. He could see that they were looking at him as this stranger. Bonnie had told him that she had not recognized anyone from the photos they had been showing her. But that she only associated names with them.
"You are my - hus-band"- Y/N/E said.
"Yes. I am your husband"- Elijah said and clumsily now continued-"ahm- here- these are flowers I brought for you. They are your favourite"
Elijah now passed her the bunch of flowers that she took, and immediately went to smell them. It was something she had always done whenever he brought the flowers to her.
"Wha-t are the-y?"- Y/N/E asked.
"Sweet peas"- Elijah said.
"And this-"- Y/N/E then took a photo that was standing on the little table- "you and me"
"Yes. You and me. That was taken on our first anniversary."- Elijah said.
"Annive-"- Y/N/E was not sure what the word meant.
"The celebration- one year after we got married. We had a party. You have always loved that photo of us. And I brought more."- Elijah now took the album out of the bag he had brought putting it on the table.
"Show-show me"- Y/N/E said.
"Ok"- he took the album out and handed it to here. Y/N/E now flicked it open.
_______________
#Elijah Mikaelson#Elijah Mikaelson x reader#Elena Gilbert#ElenaxElijah#tvd fanfiction#Fanfiction#alternative universe
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BTS at Hogwarts (Pt.7- Jungkook)
A/N: Last one in the series, yay! Kinda sad it’s over now, but if anyone wants me to continue with this BTS x HP thing with headcanons (Member x Reader(s)) or fic ideas, let me know and I’ll see if I can do it. I’ve already started toying with a Hoseok x Hufflepuff!Reader, but I’m not sure what to do with it, yet. Thank you all so much for sticking with me and my mess I like to call creativity! Enjoy this last part with our very own Golden Maknae! <3
JUNGKOOK:
House: Slytherin
Patronus: Fox
Wand: Cedar Wood, Veela Hair and Phoenix Feather Core, 11 Inches, Slightly Flexible Flexibility
Blood Status: Pureblood
Possibility of Being a Prefect: Yes
Quidditch: OF COURSE
Best Class(s): Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions
Reasoning-
So, I’ve seen people argue for Jungkook in just about every house but Hufflepuff (not to say it hasn’t or can’t be done). For me, I can understand all of those points and arguments, but I just feel like Jungkook is a Slytherin boy. He’s obviously very ambitious (he debuted at fifteen-years-old after all), and he continues to be so and he cares about his career because it’s his goal and his passion. He’s resourceful in getting what he wants and if need be I have no doubt he would also be very cunning. He’s a smart boy, he thinks smarter not harder. He knows what he wants and he gets what he wants. However, though this isn’t said to be a key Slytherin trait, I have not met a single Slytherin to be unloyal. Even Draco Malfoy was loyal at the very least to his father and his family, if not to his friends or Voldemort. And don’t even try to tell me Jungkook is not loyal to his boys, don’t even try. And Kookie, I’ve come to realize, is a devious little shit. We love him for it, though so it’s okay. You can disagree with me if you’d like, I have no objections, but these are just my thoughts.
The symbolism for a fox is this: physical or mental responsiveness, cunning, seeing through deception, increased awareness, swiftness, passion, energy, and confidence.
“Whenever I meet one who carries a cedar wand, I find strength of character and unusual loyalty. My father, Gervaise Ollivander, used always to say, ‘you will never fool the cedar carrier,’ and I agree: the cedar wand finds its perfect home where there is perspicacity and perception. I would go further than my father, however, in saying that I have never yet met the owner of a cedar wand whom I would care to cross, especially if harm is done to those of whom they are fond. The witch or wizard who is well-matched with cedar carries the potential to be a frightening adversary, which often comes as a shock to those who have thoughtlessly challenged them.”
Veela Hair - “Veela wands are temperamental like the creatures they come from, and are considered too volatile for a decent wand core in many circles. However, some wizards, particularly those with Veela blood, enjoy the boost it gives to outdoorsy magics, divinations, and Charms. The veela’s inherent intelligence makes finding these wands among the non-Veela blooded most common in Ravenclaw. Occasionally a wand will be made with more than one of a particular core, or with a combination of two cores.”
Phoenix Feather - “This is the rarest core type. Phoenix feathers are capable of the greatest range of magic, though they may take longer than either unicorn or dragon cores to reveal this. They show the most initiative, sometimes acting of their own accord, a quality that many witches and wizards dislike. Phoenix feather wands are always the pickiest when it comes to potential owners, for the creature from which they are taken is one of the most independent and detached in the world. These wands are the hardest to tame and to personalize, and their allegiance is usually hard won.”
I chose two wand cores because I thought by combining them (a seemingly common Ravenclaw core and a seemingly common Gryffindor core) I would be able to represent both of the other areas of his personality. I think he is a Slytherin through and through, but he does have the wit and intelligence of a Ravenclaw (something that I’ve seen is common within the Slytherin house) and the courage and recklessness of a Gryffindor (and it’s been said that Gryffindors and Slytherins share some common features in the first place so…). Plus, it said that Phoenix feathers are rare and Veela hair wands may not be enough on their own and are best when paired with another core.
Now I decided to make Jungkook a pureblood. I don’t have much of a reason why I just get a very pureblood vibe from Kookie. He’s not stuck up and in my mind, he and his family are not traditionalists, blood status doesn’t really matter to him at all. He just happens to be a pureblood. He doesn’t think purebloods are better and that he’s better because he’s a pureblood, I just get a very noble, refined, almost regal vibe from Kook that I think really suits purebloods. Again, feel free to disagree, that’s perfectly okay.
I think Kookie would love the idea of being a Prefect. He may be mischievous and a bit of a prankster (him and the other maknaes, especially Tae), but I think he’d not only like the idea of having that authority (being the maknae) but the chance to help and influence the younger years. He’d be a role model for them, especially the Slytherins, and I think it suits him well. And I have no doubt he’d also go for Head Boy. Him and Jimin both, no telling who’ll win, though. Hmmm…
Kookie would definitely play Quidditch. I feel it would be one of those things he’s ambitious about. Being a pureblood, I feel like he would have grown up playing it and just being around it. He’d be really good at it, too. Slytherin’s Golden Seeker. Him and the snitch have that in common… (Oh God, please ignore my puns. I’m so sorry.)
I think Jungkook would have a knack for Potions. Again, it’s just a hunch. I also think he’d be really good at DADA. He’d just have a natural talent for it, and I think he’d find it pretty interesting and enjoy it, too. But that’s just me.
Notes/Other:
Alright boy secretly had been waiting for his letter for days
Like every morning he offered to get the mail, just to see if his Hogwarts letter had come yet
When it did he played it off cool
but lowkey boy did a little happy dance in his mind for weeks straight
His parents got him a lot of stuff from Diagon Alley and he was stocked
When he got to the train he was secretly kinda sad to leave his family but was super excited too so he snuffed that down
Sorting Hat took literally about ten seconds to place him
All the Slytherins were so excited
I mean, even at eleven I imagine he just embodied confidence
Immediately befriended Tae and Jimin, I mean come on
Professor Slughorn’s favorite student
Like he literally is so proud and so impressed
All the other students are jealous because Kookie can literally do nothing and still get a great grade and praise from Slughorn
Purposely bothers Yoongi in the common room when he’s trying to sleep
but they get along occasionally
Sometimes like days after Quidditch, they nap together
Ahh goals
Kook landed the Seeker position the second he got on that broom
Their star player
They call him [Slytherin’s] Golden SeekerSecretly loves the nickname
hAs sO MaNy fAngIrLs (and bOyS)
Literally has like a new secret admirer every week
All the first and second years are head-over-heels
Some of them even send him gifts
Some even ask him out
But he gets so shy around girls that he tries to just stay away from the majority of them
Some of them he can handle but he just gets really awkward when they ask him out
One time he just froze up and walked away
Felt sooo bad after but he had absolutely no idea what to do
His brain literally just shut off and all he could do was stare until he got the nerve to just walk away
Definitely tried to apologize after though
It’s all good
Not as fascinated my muggle objects as Tae, but definitely finds them interesting
Likes their jelly beans better, they don’t taste like vomit
DADA is where it’s at
Likes to pick on poor ChimChim, but it’s just a prank man
Always makes up for it though
Owes that boy so many butterbeers good lord
GREAT DUELIST
Tries to practice with Tae but he’s too busy with other classes
Top of all his classes because come on, he’s the GOLDEN MAKNAE
Hates Muggle Studies though
Like why do they have to learn this
Can’t they just use their magic to do that stuff for them???
Him and the other maknaes love to mess with Jin and Hoseok
Don’t know why they just do
They’re the most fun to tease
but he really really loves his friends
A/N: Thank you all for finishing these character profiles! If anyone has any requests, don’t be afraid to request them! My requests are always open. Sending love <333
#bts#bts au#bts x hp#hp au#bts at hogwarts#bts in hogwarts#bts hogwarts au#bts hogwarts#jungkook#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#bts jeon jungkook#golden maknae
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Korea's Rising Rap Star DPR LIVE Looks Back on 2017 and Talks New Plans: Exclusive Video & Interview
With an onslaught of addictive bangers and visually-captivating videos in 2017, DPR LIVE has ascended from an elusive, underground rapper to one of the most talked about and celebrated new voices emerging in Korea's rapidly growing hip-hop scene.
Since gaining recognition through knockout bars and a scene-stealing performance on the critically acclaimed viral hit "Eung Freestyle," DPR LIVE―real name Hong Da Bin―has excelled thanks to his chart accolades and internet co-signs.
The 25-year-old spawned two impressive EPs via his explosive debut EP Coming to You Live from March 2017 and stellar follow-up Her in December, the latter peaking at No. 8 on Billboard's World Album chart, despite no big-name features. DPR LIVE also played to sold-out crowds in Korea and London last year, scored a promotional video campaign with Nike, and racked up millions of views on YouTube, all helping him garner a legion of excited fans all across the globe.
Yet what really sets the charismatic rapper apart as one of the more interesting come-ups in 2017 is the fact that he has achieved all this as a completely independent artist -- a rarity in Korea's highly-competitive music scene.
DPR LIVE and his crew Dream Perfect Regime -- a creative collective better known as DPR -- have relentlessly hustled with nothing but talent and determination, all in the name of keeping LIVE’s budding rap career authentic and true to the crew's message. Never bowing to industry standards, the collective's focus on positioning DPR LIVE onto the mainstream radar has already paid off in a big way: The crew received their first major monetary investment in late 201, which helped fund a new Seoul studio.
While DPR LIVE has already made accomplishments most of his indie peers can only dream of, the young talent is eyeing 2018 with higher aspirations. Gaining stateside traction for his witty flow flips between Korean and English and forward-thinking ear, LIVE earned a slot on this year's massively-anticipated, sixth annual "Korea Spotlight" showcase at SXSW 2018 among some of Korean music’s biggest names -- like R&B phenom Crush, rock sensation Hyukoh and powerhouse diva Lee Hi -- all taking place on March 16 at the Belmont in Austin, Tex.
Ahead of his debut U.S. show, DPR LIVE exclusively sat down with Billboard Koreafor his first-ever, in-depth artist interview at his new studio to share his personal struggles, creative vision and goals.
Watch DPR LIVE’s recap video and read full interview below.
What were some of the challenges you faced in the industry as an indie artist without an actual label?
Oh man, where do I even start? We had a shit-ton of challenges. First of all, financing everything on our own was the hardest thing we had to overcome. We started with zero capital. No investor, no fancy equipment, no nothing. That’s why we had to start as a visual team, but that was probably the smartest move we made, to think about it now. Not only did we get a chance to showcase our talent, but it also helped to connect with other musicians and entertainment labels. It was a good way of learning the ropes of the Korean music industry; how it worked, how we needed to evolve to get to the next level, etc.
For a good two years, DPR REM [creative director] and DPR IAN [visual director] busted their asses shooting materials for other artists in order to help fund any and all of our projects during that time. And the more I think about it now, the more I’m grateful for that, you know? Cause I know it takes a lot of trust and commitment. They were sacrificing a lot, and that’s what fueled me when I was making music. I knew I not only had to do it for myself, but more importantly, for my team.
The second biggest challenge, I guess, was the fact that we were completely clueless. [Laughs.] I didn’t even know what it meant to "mix songs," or how to get distribution for my music. It was all trial and error, because none of us had any prior experience. We had no money or any real knowledge as to how this [music industry] really works― all we had was just a whole lot of untamed passion and a dream. If one approach didn’t work, we would learn from it and move onto the next one. We learned a lot in those years. That experience is what helped us launch our own company. Now, we get to run our own show and do exactly what we want to do. No one tells us what to do, what to make or how to do it. If we like it as a team, then we do it. That kind of freedom is truly incredible. Our struggles brought us closer together and I’m proud that we have accomplished this as a team.
What is your and DPR’s greatest strength and weakness?
Our greatest strength is that whatever we do, it’s organic. We also know each other so well now to the point where we can easily align our thoughts in such a quick way that it allows us to get straight to work. There’s really no buffer period or queue. We have our own system that works efficiently for all of us. But on the other hand, we can improve and learn how to expand and grow our team. We’re known to be mysterious and unpredictable, and we like that because it keeps our fans in suspense and on edge, but it makes it harder for all of us to bring in new members, because we are such a tight-knit group. However, I’m confident we’ll get into the hang of things in due time.
Last year was great year for you. What are some of the most memorable moments?
2017 has been a life-changing year for me and my team. I released two albums, moved into a brand-new, dope studio, got to travel to some awesome places and work with some amazing people. I honestly couldn't have wished for more. Although all these moments were significantly memorable, I’d have to say getting our studio was probably the most memorable moment of 2017 for DPR. Might not sound like a big deal to some, but you have to understand, we used to hold meetings ranging from coffee shops to even local karaoke rooms on a regular basis just to get some privacy at times. Now that we have a place we can all call home, with separate recording, producing and meetings rooms; it’s surreal, to be honest. Really goes to show what can be achieved.
Any mistakes or regrets?
No, I don’t have regrets. Everything I’ve experienced was for a specific purpose, and I really believe in that. Literally everything. Although, I had a fair share of upsets and disappointments, now that I look back on it, I'm starting to see how it all came together. Each experience was meant to happen at that exact moment so that we can draw a bigger picture. I'm a huge believer in the whole "everything happens for a reason" quote and so is my team. DPR was basically founded upon that motto. We all happened to meet by chance if you think about it. A bunch of kids, who grew up in all corners of the world, somehow met up in Seoul and eventually came together to do what we do now as DPR.
Your debut EP Coming to You Live boasts guest features from some of the top names in the industry. How did you get them to collaborate?
It was a mix of good timing and mutual respect, I guess. DPR was slowly getting recognized in the industry as an up-and-coming visual team and that really helped my musical career and credibility. While I was in the studio recording demos, IAN and REM were hustling on the video side and doing whatever they could do to spread our brand name. It also helped us earn some money to finance whatever we wanted to do in-house. [Laughs.] Also, being featured on "Eung Freestyle," which was also produced and directed by my team, gave us a good boost. It helped start a lot of conversations with artists in general.
Your recent release Her has also been successful. What did you want to resonate with this project?
Her is a more genre-specific compilation of songs than my first EP. I wanted to get more personal and intimate with my listeners on themes relating to love and relationships.
Where does your musical inspiration come from?
For me, inspiration comes in many angles. I’d say half of it comes from just an array of talented musicians and their music. The internet in itself is inspiring sometimes. On the other hand, a lot my inspiration comes from my experiences in life and the things I place value on.
Why and how did you start making music?
I started making music when I was stationed in the Korean army. I went relatively early for my age, and I had a lot of free time on my hands so I would start writing whenever I had the chance. That’s where my passion slowly grew. It was a good time for me to reflect on my future; I had a lot of thoughts/things I wanted to say. That’s where I really picked up writing song lyrics.
What goals do you have for 2018?
I can probably make a huge list of what goals I want to hit in 2018, but ultimately, I really just want my team to stay healthy, committed and passionate. That’s not only for 2018, but that’s really a lifetime goal I have.
And what's the biggest drive that motivates you?
I just want to release quality music and materials. I hope we [DPR] never get lazy or complacent, and continue to challenge each other so that we can continuously push boundaries. It’s not easy to impress people these days, but to rise above that, and to see that stamp of approval and recognition from people is where all my adrenaline rush comes from. It drives me and my team to go beyond.
Where do you see yourself in the next few years?
Hopefully in the next few years, I’ll not only be a better artist myself but I hope to see our team grow and continue to do more exciting things together. Whether it be a visual thing, or a music thing, or something completely different, I just want to see us all succeed together. That’s really the main point.
In the end, it's not really the legacy that I leave behind, but the impact we make as a team. There aren’t that many teams like us in Korea and for that reason, it’d be really dope if we could almost set a benchmark or an example for the next up-and-coming generation of creatives to think outside the box and really learn to DIY. In the end, that’s what we did and it's been the best decision we’ve made.
© Jessica Oak @ Billboard
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THE QUEER YOUTH OF BOTSWANA AND THEIR SUBVERSION OF HETERONORMATIVE SOCIETAL CULTURE
Words: Cassim Cassim
Over the past decades, queer people had to bridge themselves to the real world by elevating themselves to be seen. Steadily, what once was unprecedented becomes the new norm, the introduction and awareness of sexualities, gender, pronouns and everything in between becomes the new norm, and with the help of GenZ, centennials in Botswana become advocates and instigators for what needs to be, and subvert what is imbedded in the minds of Batswana. SETABANE had the privilege to interview 8 centennials that are challenging Botswana’s society and taking it by storm.
As an Editor, it brings immense satisfaction and jubilation to realize that behind the old generation follows a generation that will carry a legacy that will have every entity equal and seen. The decision to publish this campaign comes after the chain of discern that GenZ carries most of the societal standards and culture Botswana obeys. These are the people who will lead this country into equality and queer pride.
Thebe 17, he/him, queer How do you contribute towards dismantling traditions and views against being queer in Botswana?
In Botswana, I honestly feel we have a huge problem with following what had been the norm for ages and I believe that I put great interest into expressing myself regardless of my gender, background etc. I normally present this through the art of acting, it’s my greatest passion.
Tell me your views on fem-phobia within the queer community in Botswana?
It’s a tragedy that even within our own community we bring down our own, I feel that it’s a thing of retrospecting what we have and can achieve as a community united rather than discriminating against each other. It could take us very far.
What do you think about Botswana’s gay culture?
I still think that we’re growing but what we have is beautiful and will surely blossom into something more beautiful, we’re very unique and i can’t wait till everyone in Botswana can see who exactly we are.
Leilani 16, she/her, bisexual
How is it navigating yourself as a young bisexual woman?
As a young bisexual women navigating myself as an individual is difficult because I have been told that i am confused because society is fixed on life only being one way, which therefore puts me in a situation whereby i think i’m confused or “going through a phase”. Being Bisexual has taught me to enjoy the best of both worlds and taught me to balance two different worlds.
What are your thoughts on the fetishization of bisexuality in women?
It needs to stop because being bisexual should not make you think we are your objects and you can toy around with us. The way media portrays bisexual women as confused or that we are not taken seriously but being bisexual is real and we are not toys. One thing that I personally think people lack education about Bisexuality.
What do you think Botswana’s youth has in common?
Botswana’s youth has somewhat a sense of acceptance to an extent and are free to do whatever makes them feel happy and not caring what so and so has to say.
What is your advice for a young Queer Motswana reading this? My advice to young/old queer Motswana is take your time when finding your sexuality, don’t be afraid to experiment but at the same time don’t use us as objects. If you are afraid, there is a whole community of people who have their arms open to support you and take your time.
Peaches 18, she/her, pansexual
How has your sexuality affected your way of living?
I have tried to come out to my parents before but it did not go well. My parents were considering kicking me out of the house because they wanted a "normal daughter". I had to tell them I was lying in order to keep a roof over my head. I can only be myself when I'm at school, because there, no one really cares what you do. But with my family, I have to hide who I am.
What are some of the glories and hardships being a Queer woman in Botswana?
I have not had a lot of glories but one I can mention is finally figuring out who I am, where I'm from, and where I'm headed, and coming to terms with it. Accepting myself. I feel this is the most important step, loving yourself. No one is gonna do it for you so do what makes you happy. The hardest thing for me to do was to hide my sexuality from my family. It's very scary to fear what other people think and then also have to deal with judgements from your own family. It hurts how I have to smile like I'm okay even when I'm not. For some reason, queers think they need the validation and acceptance of society in order to live freely but the truth is we don't. We submit ourselves to opinions of people we do not even need. Why? Do you think Botswana will be a battleground or a safe haven for queer people in the future? I personally think Botswana will forever be a battleground for queer people. I say this because we hate against each other within the queer community, so why would we expect outsiders to accept us if we can't do the same with each other? Also, we are forever told how "wrong" or "lost" we are for being who we are. Everyone will always be entitled to their opinion, it's either you listen to it and be miserable or just don't care and do you. Be You Do You For You
Son 17, they/them, polysexual
How does being queer and in love feel in Botswana
On one hand it can feel a bit scary as Botswana is still a bit behind on the progression towards accepting queer folk. We can never be sure that the people around us will be natural and calm rather than be queer-phobic and violent. it doesn’t always feel safe to physically express this love in public. However, when we are in a safe space, expressing our love for each-other comes easily.
What are your experiences living outside of the Binary?
Honestly, hardly any different from when I thought I did fit into the binary. I do not feel any connection to the binary in regards to my gender identity, and never have, so putting a label on what I feel didn't really change much aside from allowing myself to achieve deeper self understanding. The way the people around me perceived me barely changed either. I'm used to people making assumptions about my gender identity based on my gender presentation, and while I'm glad I haven't encountered any blatant transphobes, people’s assumptions do sometimes make me feel uncomfortable.
Who are some of your inspirations and role models?
BTS, artists who are unafraid to talk about social issues, equality, injustice and self love, Amandla Stenberg, who played a huge role in the discovery of my gender identity, and a poet I came across recently who goes by the pen name tireless_hope, whose work i’m simply in love with. They’re all young artists who have achieved so much but still show so much humanness within them. They don't try to appeal to what people expect of them but rather what they want for themselves, and consuming these people’s art always fills me with a zeal for life
What do you think about the erasure of non-binary people?
In a way it hurts, to exist in a society that treats us like we are invisible and refuses to let us voice out on matters regarding our identities and trans identities in general because we are supposedly non-existent. It’s upsetting that identities that have always been around are getting passed off as “strange”, “new” and even “non-existent” by cis-het people, and even some LGBTQ+ folk. It’s especially upsetting to me when POC take part in non-binary erasure because it is based heavily in eurocentrism and only benefits the oppressor. Hopefully with the spread of knowledge people will open their minds and educate themselves to prevent this from happening.
Bynx 17, he/they, panromantic grey-asexual
What are your thoughts on the gender binary?
Personally, I think a strict gender binary isn't really necessary. I can understand when people say it's needed in terms of the medical field - but again, that's not much help when women constantly go without getting adequate medical treatment because of gender discrimination but that's a whole other can of worms to open. i feel like a lot of people forget the gender binary was only really brought on after colonialism. there's a lot of sources that confirm that many African tribes as well as Native American ones believed in other-gender and two-spirit people, and its sad to see when people from these cultures talk about going back to their roots or preserving culture yet they want to erase the existence of queer people. even when people hear things being said like 'gender is a social construct', they think we're just trying to push an agenda - but do they really understand what a social construct is? not too long ago, i saw this post from Tumblr user biggest-gaudiest-patronuses where they talked about how a social construct really just means it's something that the big people in charge can move around and change to suit their own preferences and beliefs and ignore the communities that these constructs are actively causing problems for. people are just scared of change when it comes to things like this, they see it as a threat to their comfort but with our change and without moving out of your comfort zone, how will you ever achieve growth? People who live outside the binary just want to be their authentic selves and be accepted and people shouldn't be threatened by that.
What is your experience being a trans-masc person in Botswana?
So far I haven't really encountered any problems bringing a trans-masc person in Botswana and I think that's mostly related to how accepting the people immediately closest to me are as well as how comfortable I am in my own identity. i get misgendered quite frequently but being misgendered by strangers doesn't bother me at all because i know how they perceive me doesn't matter because they don't know me. i notice when people close to me misgender me but it's not something that'll bother me because i know it's still a learning process for them and they're always considerate enough to correct themselves afterwards, it's also not something that bothers me because i know that they're aware of my identity and they'll respect it. it can become a bit of a tough spot when it comes to people that im not close to but acquainted with because i don't really care much for their personal opinions since they aren't closely related to my life but it still flares up some gender dysphoria when they continue to use my deadname or refer to me as she/her - which is usually pronouns im only really comfortable with close people calling me by - and i guess it bothers me because they're aware of who i am and they've directly asked people close to me about my name and such yet they continue to misgender me and i feel really disrespected by it. i'm not very concerned with passing since i already know who i am but sometimes the fear of being outed does worry me in terms of my actual physical safety because i know there's people who react violently to trans people - on the opposite side of the coin, there are days i do wish i was passing and it's usually when im out in public and it's just my partner and i and we have to take things like public transport because my biggest fear is always putting my partner in danger because there's usually no avoiding being perceived as an lgbtqia+ couple which can end up putting a target on us. i will admit though that i wish Botswana did allow medical transitioning here because then it'd make a lot of things accessible to many trans people in the country as they wouldn't have to go elsewhere for hrt and surgery - like currently i have to save upward of P100 000 just for top surgery alone without including travel costs, hrt and doctor appointments fees which is a major obstacle for not only me but other people who don't have the type of income to support that either.
Who are some of the queer trans artists you look up to?
i'll be honest, i don't really know a lot of queer/trans artists since i don't consume a lot of big media 💀 i might know and admire some but since i don't really consume a lot of their content, i can't really confidently say im a huge fan. though there are very few that i do look up to they're mostly YouTubers since that's where i spend a lot of my time. in terms of queer actors though, id say Sir Ian McKellen is probably my biggest inspiration not only because of the big roles he's played while being an openly gay man but also because of the actions he's taken to support the queer and theater communities (theater being something else that im very passionate about). with trans YouTubers; Jammidodger(transguy), Ash Hardell(trans-enby) and Samantha Lux(transgirl) have been a huge help in my personal journey in finding out more about my identity and myself as well as just being really fun YouTubers to watch. i really liked hearing out their experiences as trans/enby people and seeing the advice they had to give to other people in terms of not only surgery and hrt but with things like dressing and tips on coming out. i hope to share my experience and help other genderqueer people out the same way they did for me. one more person i look up to is someone id be bold enough to call my friend. they're an lgbtqia+ and trans rights activist in Botswana and they usually go my Phio or Blu for the time period ive known them and they've probably been one of the biggest helps in my personal journey. they were the first trans/genderqueer person id ever met back when i first started questioning my identity and i talked a lot with them about how i was feeling and trying to get comfortable with myself and they've always been there to listen, even helping me out with getting my first chest binder and they even give me tips about buying guys clothes and offering help for recommended places to go when i start transitioning. i even remember a time when they were a guest speaker on one of our local radio stations and while i couldn't tune in because i had drama practice, i remember being so excited because i felt that finally the voices of queer people were getting more recognized. I’m really glad that i have the opportunity to know them and talk to them and all the support they've extended to me is something i hope to be able to give to other queer youth that will flower after me.
Do you think Botswana is going to be led by pioneers such as yourself soon into a better future soon?
i'm not too well-versed on things like current affairs so i won't say much on this but a lot of change and acceptance has to happen in terms of the older generation and things like following tradition but i do believe that we might see a lot of change in the future. while it might take us a while to get to the point of queer people being elected into government positions, i believe our voices are starting to be heard. Just because decriminalization has happened doesn't mean it's time for us to relax, it's time for us to push for more change, we'll make strides together as a community.
What is your advice for a young queer Motswana reading this?
honestly guys, don't rush yourselves. take things one step at a time. it's okay to not know your identity, it's okay for it to change, it's okay to question who you are. even if you don't manage to figure out what your identity is, it's still okay. just love whoever you want to love and love how you want to live. as long as it's not hurting you or others, it's all valid. keep your chin up. I know it can be tough. but believe me, there's always gonna be people out there that love you for who you are and that's all that really matters.
Wapula 17, she/they, pansexual
Do you think Batswana are more inclusive of pansexuality?
I guess people aren’t as educated about pansexuality as much, there are so many misconceptions about being pansexual.
“Do pansexuals feel sexually attracted to animals”
“Are pansexuals normally in polygamous marriages” & so much more, I guess these questions come from the fact that as a pansexual we’re more attracted to the person, not their gender or sexuality, so people would instantly think we prefer to be in polygamous marriages, you know?
How do you navigate your life as a pansexual person in Botswana?
It’s extremely rare to find a pansexual in Botswana, so I wound by say it’s a lifestyle you know, I’ve always been one person that’s open about my sexuality & I’ve never felt the need to “come out”, of course there’s a lot of homophobia but it doesn’t affect me as much as it affects other queer individuals & that’s simply because I’ve just always been open about it you know?
Do you believe in gender?
I just think gender is a mindset, the thought of having to separate humanity based on our biological features is just stupid to me, the creation of “gender” is what leads to so many problems that we face as humanity today... being sexism & GBV & so many issues. People confuse gender & sexuality. Sexuality is broad, gender is just a mindset that is used to separate us based on our biological features.
Loago 16, she/her, demisexual
When did you first embrace the concept of demisexuality? And is it inclusive to anyone?
I first embraced the concept of demisexuality after seeing my best friends being able to grow out of their shell and be comfortable with their true self, with no fear of being judged. It was an inspiring thing for me because I don’t talk about my sexuality as much and I’ve received comments from straight guys that my sexuality is simply me trying to fit in with the crowd...most people confuse demisexuality for being bisexual but there’s a difference...I only see someone and I mean in the spiritual and emotional sense if i have an emotional connection with them, I don’t find people attractive unless i get a glimpse of their inner self and i connect with them on that level. I also do feel that maybe the trauma I’ve experienced has influenced this because it made me realize the importance of knowing and seeing someone behind all the masks they portray to the outside world and connecting with them spiritually when pursuing a relationship with them...
What do you think about the love scenes in Botswana’s youth scene?
I think majority of youth is lost when it comes to the perception of love I also blame tradition because the sad truth is that most of us come from dysfunctional or rather ‘special’ families and this is where we see a lot of abuse be it coming from the man or woman and especially in this country we have normalized this vicious cycle of ‘special’ families and it’s contributed to how a lot of us perceive love, we tell ourselves that in order for us to believe that we are loved or we love someone we must’ve put them through something or they must’ve put us through something because the impression most of us have , having seen our parents or relatives do this... and unfortunately unlike now in today’s world back in the day it was some what a taboo to end your marriage or ‘break’ your family that you’ve built with someone and hence why most marriages even despite the abuse still exist. I believe this is what influences the youth love scenes in Botswana, to undo this I believe we need to stop we need to stop cheating I love marriage sexuality as a taboo in this country, parents need to start having conversations with their children to help them understand what genuine love is and that love between heterosexual people and queer people is no different and we are all deserving of genuine love.
Kago 19, he/they, bisexual
What’s one thing your generation has in common?
I really believe my generation right now is a very liberated one and connected one. We really are about community and uplifting each other. We are together in these safe spaces, uplifting each other and respecting each other for who we really are uno.
Do you attach your sexuality to what you love doing?
Not actively, but when I get to working I'd like to think I work out of a unique place where my identity comes out as a product of that. So my sexuality does subconsciously become a part of my work.
How do you feel about bi-erasure and pan-erasure in men?
It's a frustrating struggle to be continuously fighting. Especially when the erasure comes from within the LGBTQ+ community. You start to ask yourself where you can feel safe if not in your own community uno.
Do you think you fully express your sexuality to others?
Fully? Not yet. Well probably not actively, but I know surely you must know my sexuality after a few conversations with me. It's a part of me that can not escape me so it is at the front line of my social interactions.
What contributed to helping you understand your sexuality?
Growing up around very open-minded people. This gave me the freedom to, once i started realizing i was bisexual, be comfortable to ask questions about it and be as curious as i needed until i realized that hell yeah i am bisexual uno.
Credits:
Editor: @cxsside
Art Director: @cxsside & @bbypumpkiiiin_
Models : @thebes.world @[email protected] @[email protected]@wapsworldwide @archhangel
Stylists + Wardrobe:@archhangel @_glotto @unearthlygofaone @bluuu.rraine_
Photographers:@vandeaarde @vandeaarde.gallery@wenz_hd
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Coming Alive
Coming alive again
What does that even mean? It is a big statement; it suggests that I was dead or dying. In a way I was for a long time. Over 20 years of my life I spent never seeing a future, not imagining having a family or getting old. I always thought I would die young because I never thought I would make it.
In a way this was true because I almost feel like this is a second life now, a second chance and I am going to take it and make the most of that.
Let me explain all of this a little bit better.
My life has been a long and complicated one, yet I am only 34 years old. In my 34 years I have died and come back to life, I do not mean that as analogy for something, I literally died for a minute or so once. It was when I was 25, I was injected with adrenaline to bring me back and all I can say is that was painful. Not the fact that I was still alive ( I was unsure how I felt about that part but I think deep inside it was relief), but the physical feeling of being brought back with adrenaline is not something that is a nice experience. It hurts, it literally burns through every part of your body right to your fingertips and tips of your toes. It hurts in your head in your stomach, you feel burning pain EVERYWHERE! That is my most vivid memory for my literal experience of coming back to life. The emotional experience of coming back to life was no less painful it just took a lot longer.
However, it has been the greatest experience to come alive again. What do I mean by coming a live? Well when I was about 8 years old, I was going through abuse and my poor little 8-year-old self, she died a little bit inside and kept dying a little bit more as each day went past. Trauma does things to our bodies, its not just the memories we are left with that are visual, but our bodies remember trauma better than our minds even. The good news is that you can recover and so can your body.
When I was in my mid to late 20’s I finally found the right therapist for me. We worked together on and off for about 3 years. It was the hardest work I have ever done and some of the most painful but I did survive it and I came out the other side feeling like me again, who ever that me was that was just lost and hidden beneath the pain of trauma but she was still there waiting, never giving her up her fight to also be seen. When I comforted and released my childhood self and let that pain go, she came to the surface. This strong, powerful self, who realised she could do anything, and because she knew that she was therefore going to try everything. She was going to live for the first time since she was 7 years old.
My whole world has opened, all my inspiration has come flooding back, I am falling in love with life and living. I look forward to each day coming and I learn something new every single day. I am going for my goals, I have fully accepted who I am and I not afraid to show the world anymore because I no longer need their acceptance because I finally gave it to myself and I fell in love with myself too, this is usually seen as a bad thing as being pretentious but its not, it truly isn’t, it is only when you fall in love with who you are that you are truly able to be that person and in doing that you are much better prepared to love another. How you talk to yourself changes, how you approach situations changes.
For me I always felt attacked or that I should be ready to defend myself at any time. The abused part of myself thought that everyone else but me was right in what they were doing in their lives and my damaged background left me clueless. I could not have been more wrong if anything it’s the other way around. My experiences have taught me so much and have left me open to learning even more. My mind is open and ready for new experiences and challenges. I am okay with life’s challenges now because I know every experience, we have in our lives serves a purpose, an opportunity to learn and grow. I personally never want to stop growing. I want to be like a Sequoia tree always growing and always adapting to survive what life has coming my way.
If you are in a place that is hard and difficult, where you are suffering and in pain, please read this piece and repeat to yourself everyday that you can get through this and it will serve a purpose. You can fall in love with life and yourself again, you can go for what you want in life and find your happiness. I love being silly and embracing the childish side of myself where I find all my creativity comes from. Find yourself and never let go.
Find the right therapist and don’t settle for someone who is not the right fit for you. It is no reflection of you or them, you just need to match their energy so that your energies can work together and take you through your therapy in a way that strengthens and enables you to go out into the world ready to live.
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour and some style.“ “Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently” – Maya Angelou
#internationalmentalhealthday #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth
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CONGRATULATIONS ALYSSA, YOU HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED AS GABRIELLE BELLAMY WITH THE FACECLAIM OF GABRIELLA WILDE!
We already adored your first application for our dear Lily, Alyssa, and this one was just as wonderful to read! In particular, we love that she is still somewhat of a semi-canon by her relation to Apolline - but that is definitely not the only reason; her personality seemed really fitting with her biography, and the description you wrote we absolutely adored as well! We’re super glad to have her as an addition to our group.
Check out our acceptance checklist right here on what to do next!
♔ OUT OF CHARACTER INFO ♔
NAME/ALIAS:
Alyssa
AGE:
21 – My birthday is December 20!
PREFERRED PRONOUNS:
She/Her
TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY:
CST/GMT -6
Out of ten, I’d say that my activity is typically around an 8! I get on periodically throughout the day, and most evening/late nights. I am a college student, majoring in theatre, though, so this can all change depending on rehearsals, homework, and of course, whatever life decides to throw at me. I try to let people know if a particularly rough week is coming up!
TRIGGERS:
REMOVED.
ANYTHING ELSE:
REMOVED.
♔ IN CHARACTER INFO ♔
FULL NAME:
Gabrielle Viviane Bellamy
Has been called Gabi and Elle in the past, though she thinks both are rather horrendous, and highly prefers her full name, especially if pronounced with the proper French accent.
Gabrielle: A traditional French name, the Bellamys gave both of their daughters names that signified the strength they wanted their girls to have.
Viviane: Meaning ‘lively’, from the moment she was born, Gabrielle was a ball of spunk and passion. Rarely taking no for an answer, she fights against what is expected of her, and the boxes that people try to stick her in.
Bellamy: Translating to ‘good friend’, her father, Clément, has always found his family name rather poetic.
FACECLAIM:
Gabriella Wilde
BIRTHDAY AND AGE:
Gabrielle has a summer birthday - June 21, 1961, meaning she’s in the younger part of most of her classes. She just turned 17 over the summer, and has been exercising the fact that she’s technically an adult frequently.
HOUSE AND YEAR:
She is a seventh year transfer from Beauxbatons, and was placed in Ravenclaw.
AFFILIATION:
Order of the Phoenix, it’s the entire reason she came to England, though she hasn’t technically joined yet. I’d love to have a plot point when she does officially join, though!
PRONOUNS:
She/Her
SEXUALITY/ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:
Gabrielle is heterosexual, however, she’s incredibly wary of most men. She saw the happiness her sister found, but has only had experiences of men who are interested in her due to her looks, and if she is ever going to be with someone, they need to do a whole lot of proving that they respect her for who she is, not what she is.
EXTRACURRICULARS:
Charms club and dueling club, though I could see her trying to start some sort of political awareness/activism club as well.
DESCRIPTION:
The younger of the pair, the French always looked on you and your sister as perfect little images of what a little girl should be. You fought against that tooth and nail though, educating yourself and those around you. You wouldn’t be their picture perfect idealization of a person. With strength and morals to boot, you are constantly proving that your mind is just as important as your looks
PERSONALITY TRAITS:
+ Passionate
+ Intelligent
+ Brave
- Impulsive
- Short-tempered
- Judgmental
BIOGRAPHY:
Clément Bellamy had resigned to a bachelor’s life early on. A career with the French ministry ate away at most of his time, and he was okay with the idea of dedicating his life to public service. That all changed when he met Marietta, and was instantly drawn to her - beyond being the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on, she challenged the way he thought, had quick quips in response to almost everything he said, and he soon found himself craving their conversations. Mariette, a veela, was impressed by the man who seemed to look beyond her looks and beauty, and the two married.
The couple soon had two daughters - Apolline and Gabrielle, both born with the beauty of their mother, and the mind and resilience of their father. From the beginning, Apolline was Gabrielle’s greatest friend and confidante. The two girls were taught early about the equality and rights of people - that all people deserved these rights. Their father did not shy away from sharing his distresses with them, and their mother the prejudices she had faced in trying to be taken seriously. The girls experienced it themselves as they grew, watching as more and more people only thought of them as a pretty face.
Gabrielle entered Beauxbatons three years after her sister, and quickly began to excel in her studies, showing an early aptitude for charms work and deuling. She made friends easily, but found that many of them only wanted to be around for the idea of being close to a half-veela. She found herself growing close to very few, and instead, dedicated her time and energies to studying, and learning new techniques and ideas, determined to prove that she was more than her heritage, and more than just another pretty face.
After Apolline graduated, stories from England started finding their way into French newspapers. Her father seemed distressed enough reading about what was brewing in the foreign country, and Gabrielle watched as he stayed late at work, and grew more and more weary looking. For her own part, she stayed as up to date as possible, having not only French, but English newspapers as well, sent to her at school. A happy time was brought by Apolline’s marriage to one Monsieur Delacour, and the subsequent birth of Gabrielle’s niece, Fleur, enchanted the family.
Still, something wasn’t sitting right in her when thinking of the brewing conflict in England. She heard rumblings of various groups forming, and felt a desperate need to be a part of something that actually meant something. Making a decision for herself, she sent necessary letters and class reports, and by the middle of the summer, had presented an invitation to finish her schooling at Hogwarts to her parents. They argued at first, but at her insistence, finally permitted her to go. To them, however, her desire to study in England comes from a hopeful future career as a foreign ambassador or minister. Though they know of the unsettling times, they do not know their daughter’s desire to be a part of it all.
Packing and moving to England was one of the hardest things Gabrielle was faced with, and taking a deep breath, she took her first step onto the Hogwarts Express and didn’t look back. The year will be challenging, she knows, but she’s ready for what comes next, and ready to prove that she’s more than just another pretty face.
CONNECTIONS:
Edgar Bones; Friends, first interaction at Hogwarts
Ludovic Bagman; annoyance
Amara Zabini; acquaintance, shares many classes
*Liliane Chastain; best friend, familiar face from home
*Kay’s OC
ADDITIONAL INFO:
I thought I’d share with you some of my general ideas for Gabrielle! As stated in her bio, she is Apolline Delacour’s younger sister, making her half veela. She’s spent most of her life fighting against people who take her at face value, and because of her father’s involvement in the French political sphere, has developed her own moral compass and ideas for what’s right and what’s wrong. As she started to learn about what was brewing over in England, she found herself getting more and more upset, and knew that she couldn’t just sit back and let it happen. She heard rumblings and rumors of the Order and knew that she had to be a part of it, and using a hopeful future career in foreign affairs as a catalyst, got herself sent to England to attend Hogwarts for her last year of school.
As for the future - after she graduates, Gabrielle will be joining the Order, and consistently trying to fight and stand up against the injustices. She misses her family a lot, especially her sister and niece, and frequently thinks about and talks about them. The biggest thing, though, is that Gabrielle will not be surviving the war, and will eventually be Gabrielle Delacour’s namesake.
#morsmordre accepted#harry potter rpg#hp rp#marauders roleplay#new rp#gabrielle bellamy#original character
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Motivational Quotes and Captions
Motivational Quotes and Captions
Push yourself because nobody is going to do it for you. Don’t limit your challenges. Challenge your limit. It does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop. “Your time is limited. So don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs If you believe in yourself, anything is possible. Be a voice, not an echo. When you feel like quitting, think about why you started. Don’t wait for the right opportunity. Create it. “Be so good they can’t ignore you.” – Steve Martin Do not compare your insides with someones else’s outsides. “When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.” – Lolly Daskal The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Every morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them. Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain. We stopped chasing for monsters under the bed when we realized they were inside of us. Mirror mirror on the wall, I’ll always get up after I fall. And whether I run, walk or have to crawl I’ll set my goals and achieve them all. “Stay away from negative people, they have a problem for every solution.” – Albert Einstein Always deliver more than expected. “Tough times never last, but tough people do.” – Robert H. Schuller Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re probably right.Motivation quote for Instagram Mindset is what separates the best from the rest. The best view comes after the hardest climb. Look into the mirror… that is your competition. Be the best version of you. “You just can’t beat the person that ever gives up” – Babe Ruth In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. The key to success is to focus on goals, not obstacles. If you can dream it, you can do it. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up. When life gives you a hundred reasons to break down and cry, show life that you have a million reasons to smile and laugh. Stay strong! It’s going to be hard, but hard does not mean impossible. Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire. Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star. Nothing is impossible. The world itself says “I’m possible”. To live a creative life we must lose the fear of being wrong. Good things take time. There’s nothing wrong in being a beginner. No one starts at the top. You are your own limit. Sometimes we are tested not to show our weaknesses, but to discover our strengths. If you do not go after what you want, you will never get it. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place. Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on. The direction is more important than speed. “Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.” – John Ray The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. Fall seven, stand up eight. “Good, better, best. Never let it rest. ‘Til your good is better and your better is best.” – St. Jerome “The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity.” – Ayn Rand A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor. Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to always try just one more time. There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self. Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams. My biggest fear is being in the same place this time next year. Be brave. Nobody remembers a coward. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain Old ways won’t open new doors. It is often in the darkest skies that we see the brightest stars. All progress takes place outside the comfort zone. You may get the things you wished for. But you will surely get the things you worked for. If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. A year from now you will wish you had started today. “If you haven’t tried, how will you ever know if there’s any chance?” – Jack Ma “Challenges are what make life-threatening and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” – Joshua Marine You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one. Either you run the day or the day runs you. You don’t get the same moment twice in life. Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have. You only fail when you stop trying. “I am not here to change the world. I am changing the world because I am here.” – Lisa Wilson Be you instagram quote Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. Be crazy enough you know you can make anything in life. There is always a reason to smile. Your potential is endless. One year = 365 opportunities I tried to be normal once. Wort 2 minutes of my life. Don’t look for excuses look for results. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.” – John Wooden “Entrepreneurs average 3.8 failures before final success. What sets the successful ones apart is their amazing persistence.” – Lisa M. Amos “If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” – Jim Rohn Good things happen to those who hustle. Experience satisfaction, but never be satisfied! Believe. Achieve. Succeed. Your best teacher is your last mistake. The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. If it would be easy, everybody would do it. Successful people are successful because they do more than the rest. When you are at the bottom, they laugh about you. When you are on the top, they are jealous. You cannot please everybody, So stop trying and focus. “If you can dream it, you can do it.” – Walt Disney “There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” – Beverly Sills Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress. A negative mind will never give you a positive life. Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. Treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO. Don’t be afraid to lose people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you. Love is no what yo say. Love is what you do. F-E-A-R hast two meanings: Forget everything and run or Face everything and rise “Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.” “It takes two flints to make a fire.” – Louisa May Alcott “Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” – Henry Ford “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life. Appreciate where you are in your journey. Even if it’s not where you want to b. Every season serves a purpose. There are no limits to what you can accomplish, except the limits you place on your own thinking. Falling down is an accident. Staying down is a choice. “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decided to be.” – Ralph Warren Emerson It’s up to you to find beauty in the ugliest days. Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand. Good people are like candles; they burn themselves up to give others light. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take the step. Some people will only check on you just to see if you have failed yet. Nope, I’m still winning! The trophy is earned in the hours that no one is watching. Your life is a result of your choices. If you don’t like your life, it’s time to make some better choices. One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day. Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you tend to think you have been buried; what if you’ve been planted. Throw kindness around like confetti. Failure is the condiments that give success to its flavor. Storms make trees take deeper roots. Trust that when the answer is no, there is a better yes down the road. When it comes to motivation, Gary Vaynerchuk is the master. Business and entrepreneur genius you want to listen to when feeling down. “Skills are cheap. Passion is priceless.” – Gary Vaynerchuk “There’s no reason nowadays, to do shit you hate. NONE.” – Gary Vaynerchuk “I’m just always looking forwards. I spend very little time, looking backward” – Gary Vaynerchuk “Legacy is greater than currency.” – Gary Vaynerchuk “You need to spend all of your time and energy on creating something that actually brings value to the people you’re asking for money!” – Gary Vaynerchuk “Stop whining, start hustling.” – Gary Vaynerchuk “There is never a bad time to start a business – unless you want to start a mediocre one.” – Gary Vaynerchuk “We are in control of the one asset that we all give the most f#%ks about, and that is time.” – Gary Vaynerchuk “Know the philosophy, know the details, and ignore everything in the middle.” – Gary Vaynerchuk “We only get to play this game one time…one life.” – Gary Vaynerchuk “Whether you’re 9 or 90, stop trying to fix the things you’re bad at, and focus on the things you’re good at.” – Gary Vaynerchuk “When it all comes down to it, nothing trumps execution.” – Gary Vaynerchuk “Your legacy is being written by yourself. Make the right decisions.” – Gary Vaynerchuk “A penguin cannot become a giraffe, so just be the best penguin you can be.” – Gary Vaynerchuk Prince Ea is also a famous filmmaker and creator who shares many life tips on Instagram. He has been featured on Forbes and he claims that love is his religion. Don’t rush things. They will happen when they are supposed to. Let things fall into place. Your mental health should be a priority. No matter how old you get, never stop holding hands, never stop dancing, and never stop saying ” I love you”. Anything that costs your peace is too expensive. If they act as they can live without you, let them do it. Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together. Decide what is what you want. Write it down, make a plan, and work on it every single day. Sometimes you have to unfollow people in real life. When you can tell your story, and it doesn’t make you cry, you know you have healed.” – David Wolf Happiness looks gorgeous on you. Be who you needed when you were younger. Physical attractions are common. A mental connection is rare. Three months from you, you will be in a completely different space, mentally spiritually and financially. Almost nothing you’re worried about today will define you tomorrow. Love is about appreciation, not possessions. Forget the past, but remember the lesson. The most valuable gift you can receive is an honest friend. Love is a verb, not a noun. You didn’t come this far to only come this far. “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” – C.S Lewis When life gets blurry adjust the focus. No one ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side. Don’t stop when you’re tired. Stop when you’re done. The harder you work for something. The greater you’ll feel when you achieve it. “If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. The goal is to be rich. Not to look rich. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right. The one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell. Not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning. You should tell people how important they are to you. Good conversations with the right people are priceless. The best revenge is no revenge. Move on. Be happy. Stay close to people who feel like sunlight. Sometimes it takes 10 years to get that 1 year that will change your life. Wasted time is worse than wasted money. Give yourself some credit. You’ve come pretty far. Hang out with people who make you forget to look at your phone. Be the reason someones believes in the goodness in people. Never underestimate the power of good morning texts, apologies, and random compliments. It only takes a few seconds to hurt someone. But sometimes it takes a year to repair that damage. Self-care is how you take your power back. You don’t gain anything from stressing. Do what scares you. You will never change someone. They have to change themselves. Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you. Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation. Good friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, impossible to forget. Read the full article
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Shelby, 27
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation? Passionate, Stereotypical, Game changers
2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today? I would say moving to DC has had a big impact on my life. Being from Kentucky where it really is a little bubble, coming up to DC challenged norms for me and there was some of that when I lived in Connecticut, it was a cultural shock. Moving to DC, you’re constantly around diverse people. I was here when the transgender bathroom conversation started in North Carolina and I just thought, “this is wrong, these are people and why are we doing that?” I would call home and I would hear, “you know there are gonna be weirdos spying on daughters.” That’s not what the issue is and people still have that mentality back home.
3. Where has our generation misstepped and where have we succeeded? I think often we post a lot on social media and say, “this is important!” and when something like Charlottesville happened, people will write like, “oh I have to write a post!” “thoughts and prayers!” “This is bad I condemn it!” But then I thought, “Well what are you doing to make that change?” So post, but act on it. But like I said, we are game changers and I think we care about social issues more than previous generations so I think we’re gonna work hard to make a change. So I would say my conservative friends don’t care about gay marriage or the transgender bathroom issue. So why are these politicians focusing on that? I think we’re all going to be fifteen steps to the left republican wise in 20 years, I just think we have an open mind.
4. Do you believe in love? Yeah! Duh! Who doesn’t believe in love?
5. What’s one thing you want people to know about you? My past. Humble beginnings. I’m from Kentucky, we’re not the richest state in the world and my parents are blue collared workers and they have always tried to help, but financially it’s not always there. I’m not a rich girl.
6. What are your thoughts on race? It’s sad with what happened in Charlottesville. I love people and diversity but when I first moved away to Connecticut, my friend Maddy challenged me. Some of the stuff I would say was not okay. It’s little things you can say sometimes that are offensive and perpetuate this racism that you don’t even realize is racism. I’ve done a lot of learning. Race is complex and difficult and I hope it gets better.
7. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life? I love my mom. I’m a mommy’s girl, I’m very close to my mom and I love being with my mom. I am in a relationship, his name is Will and I love being with him too. So I’m always missing the other when I’m with one.
8. Do you think the American Dream is still alive? I mean, yes. People come over here from all over the world seeking hope. It’s different. The American Dream used to be two cars, a house, white picket fence. I don’t know that our generation that is strapped with student debt is going to get there, maybe that’s me being pessimistic. I think the American Dream is different, it’s about being successful and happy but not necessarily a house and two cars anymore.
9. Is college overrated? No, I think education is the best thing you can do for yourself in my opinion. I went and got my Bachelor’s then got my Master’s and the first job I got after getting my MBA was terrible. My masters loan was more than what I was making and I was like, “why did I do that?” Then I got my next job and my salary doubled and my boss straight up told me I got the job because I did have my MBA. But if I did just have my Bachelors, I wouldn’t feel the same way. I also think that education is tough, we push people to go to college and we tell people you have to go to college to be successful. If I have sons who are not the most academic, there’s nothing wrong with going to trade school and I don’t understand why we’re not pushing that more.
10. Does religion play a role in your life? Yes, I’m a devout Christian. The first year that I moved to DC, it was hard to find a church. I started to look for a church up here and with some of the churches, I didn’t agree with some of the things. This isn’t how I was raised and I would say they were more conservative, and I come from a conservative church but they were saying things I didn’t agree with. Then there were a lot of churches where I was easily the youngest person there, the people there were 70 or 80 years old and I was like, “where are the youth?!”
Finally, I found a place but it was year that I was going through this process and even though I was praying, something was definitely missing from my life. So I’m happy now that I’ve found a home. I would say it’s not perfect but I did join a bible study that meets every Tuesday and it’s very real. It’s just about fellowship and things that are going on, none of us are perfect, a lot of us go out and live with boyfriends, but it’s really great.
11. What are your thoughts on marriage?
I believe in marriage. I can’t believe there are these cynical people that don’t believe in marriage. It’s sad because I am from the south and there are people who got married right after school who are starting to get divorced and there are people that were college sweethearts, dated after, it was finally put up or shut up, they got married and within a year they’re getting divorced. My family would definitely prefer me to be married and pregnant by now. I believe in marriage, I want to make sure I make the right choice. I have divorced parents, but I don’t hate that, that doesn’t make me dislike marriage. The thought of marriage excites me. I feel like when you meet the right person, you’re ready to do this and combine your lives.
12. What do you want out of this life? I want to be successful but fulfilled and I want to be happy. So because I am religious, this lifetime isn’t what matters, I want to go to heaven and that’s what matters so I want a life that leads to that.
13. How do you want to be remembered? As a kind person, as a nice person that made someone feel good.
14. What are qualities that you value? Trust, love, generosity, drive
15. Fill in the blank, “I wish we had more _______ in the world” Love.
16. Are you a feminist? Probably not. I’m not as girl power as some of these women like Lena Dunham. I’m not there yet. But I am trying to embrace my feminist voice. Feminism used to be such a dirty word. So I would say I’m not, but yes I want equal pay, I still want a man to open the door for me, and if a boat was sinking, I would want women and children off the boat first.
17. How would you describe what it’s like to navigate your 20s? It’s confusing and sometimes I get so frustrated because I’m not where I thought I was going to be. 18 year old Shelby thought she was going to be married by 22, baby by 25 and it is not like that. Even in the workplace, I thought I’d have a higher title or would be in my dream job by now and that’s not what happens.
18. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far? I would just say to trust God. We had a really traumatic experience with my sister right before I left north for consulting. She had a sudden cardiac arrest and she shouldn’t have lived, but it was a miracle and I’m very thankful for that. That experience, to me, it was like there is a God out there so I try to put my trust in him and believe that everything happens for a reason.
19. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn? Just because you’re nice, doesn’t mean that things are always going to go your way, people aren’t going to treat you right.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with? Be a little kinder than you have to.
#20qs20somethings#love#advice#millennials#20somethings#feminism#race#religion#marriage#DC#education#profile
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Some Traits of Successful Entrepreneurs
My circle of friends tends to be entrepreneurs because of the events I go to, the struggles I face and the emotions I experience. I observe, get inspired by them and have also identified patterns on why they are who they are. My greatest respect belongs to those who failed and got back up.
These are the cold hard truth that people need to accept when embarking on the entrepreneurship journey. I hope it doesn't scare people away from entrepreneurship but to be better prepared for the journey. For now, I don't want to write an aspirational and encouraging piece. I'll leave that to someone else.
This list is far from exhaustive. There are probably hundreds, if not thousands, more important traits. If you want to defy all odds, if you want to have a shot at all, if you want it bad enough, you gotta stop aspiring and start doing and enduring.
Stop seeking validation
We've been taught to seek answers from authorities - whether a parent, a teacher, a manager, a respected role model or a friend that we so desperately want to have. While this may still be alright for a kid, most adults never grow out of it. The world is more clueless than most would expect and entrepreneurship is not something that has a recipe or formula for guaranteed success. Everyone's path is going to be unique. Most strong entrepreneurs don't make decisions for someone else's appraisal but for markets to decide. They don't need the constant 'good job, good effort' to relentlessly try, because if they do, they would give up even before the time is right. And at the end of the day, if you do become successful, people will only see your success and not the struggles you overcame. So, learn to celebrate even when no one's around.
Don't ask what to do; Figure out what to do
Being clueless just won't cut it with entrepreneurship. There is zero formula for guaranteed success. You've got to find your path to wherever you want to go. And by finding I don't mean 'find', I mean to do it and learn from the experiences.
Why are we clueless sometimes? It's not uncommon to either be taught to just follow the books or follow instructions and as a result, never practiced any ingenuity. Many times, people just aren't passionate enough about what they do. You want to win? You got to learn to love what you do and figure out things even if you don't know where to start.
Know the objective
Where do you start? The 80-20 Pareto principle applies to our work. 80% of our work is of low impact. Only 20% delivers a significant result. The challenge is 20% just isn't enough. And the 80% is still important. Time waits for no man. And many times, it's easy to get into the motion and not really know what we're trying to accomplish with the tasks we're performing. Doing the following steps frequently helps re-prioritize effort and optimize the use of time.
Evaluate what is the most important objective for your idea/project/organization (not yourself) right now
Think of things you can do to meet the objective
Discipline yourself to act
Your first action may not yield result, learn from it repeat the cycle.
Stop talking, Take action
Many individuals pride themselves with ideas but never ever take the step. Even great salespeople take conscious effort to place themselves to be at the 'right place, right time' to talk to the 'right' people, and this definitely means being at the wrong place, wrong moment most of the time. Even if you don't know how to do it, you need to learn or find a way to get it done.
Emotionally mature. Embrace rejection and failures.
Managing emotions and being at your optimal psychological state is probably something hardest to do. You are only at the driver's seat of your thoughts, actions, and effort. Rejection and failures are things you can't avoid. If you don't learn how to deal with them properly, it will lead to exhaustion and depression which obviously affects performance. Remember, denial is not a strategy. Many people don't even realize they are denying the reality, so learn to retrospect, laugh off some of these negative experiences/emotions but still remember them and never belittle the damage they can do.
Be prepared for the long haul
Overnight success? There is no such thing. People are generally impatient for everything. We are impatient on the road, impatient with success, impatient with payday. Why have it later when we could have it now, right? Well, you can't have it now. That's the reality. So be prepared for the journey. It's probably going to be longer than you would expect. Decades is what we should be looking at, not months, not years.
The Competition is Yourself
You want to win. Who doesn't? But remember your competition isn't really who you are competing against. It's you. We are our own greatest enemy. Keep focusing on becoming better. Yes, celebrate when you beat a competitor but always remember, you can always be beaten if you don't focus on being the best of yourself. You gotta be better even when you feel like you are better than everyone else.
Excited beyond the money
Money is an important incentive for entrepreneurship but it's not sustainable.
One of the most important things to do as an entrepreneur is to disassociate effort and result for money. Have your parents offered you money to wash the car, mow the lawn or have you been offered money to get a certain job done? While not wrong, it cultivates an unhealthy idea of generating wealth. Most people fall into this trap and do things only if they are compensated. This leads to all sorts of missed opportunities.
The real reality of entrepreneurship is wondering why you're still so poor after doing so much and yet still capable of pushing 100% at the goal.
The best substitute for that monetary reward in the short-medium term is a sense of purpose. And this sense of purpose can come from various sources. For me, it tends to come from an urge to share something I love. In the long term, you may or may not reap the financial reward, but the satisfaction from the sense of purpose will always be greater than whatever money you will ever earn. I'm as happy as I am when I ate food of other people's leftover to when I'm able to afford more than just food because....
Don't make excuses, admit shortcomings and find solutions
Nobody cares about your excuses, in fact, highly effective people hate hearing them. Understand that your excuses won't suddenly propel you to success. So stop making them and start admitting shortcomings and overcome them or find ways to compensate for them as quickly as possible.
Retrospective
We've talked about being retrospective. It's perhaps one of the most underrated traits. No one is born great at everything. Even great people suck at some things. Take time, put ego and pride away to truly reflect on what you did wrong and what you did right.
Relentless
Entrepreneurship isn't a journey of checklists. Getting things done just isn't enough. You gotta do, monitor, repeat even if you are still solving the same problem after 6 months of failing. The only thing that matters is the outcome, not your effort. You don't get an A for effort. You stay wherever you are for not having outcomes.
Do things that are uncomfortable and unnatural
Most people shy away from things they are uncomfortable doing. Be it public speaking, computer programming, math, mundane tasks etc+. It's natural. But it is not ok if you want to succeed. If you have to wash the toilet, you wash the toilet. If you have to get up on stage, you get up on stage. If you have to do math, you gotta do math. You don't need to love them but you need to do them until you can afford to hire someone better than you at it.
Don't be indecisive or flaky
People are flaky for many reasons. Uncertainty, disbelief, bla bla bla. The truth is, we go nowhere jumping from side-to-side. Average out your true distance, it's ZERO.
Once you set a course, go all in wholeheartedly and do it until data keeps proving otherwise.
Leadership
If you want to go fast, go alone or with a small effective cohesive team. If you want to go big, be prepared to be a great leader. Entrepreneurship is not a single phase. When you start, speed and ferocity is everything. When you grow, leadership is everything. Most people are not born leaders. Well, you will have to make the call if you want to pay the price to be good at it.
Conclusion
Most entrepreneurs are successful because they want it bad enough, would take action and repeatedly reflect and improve. No one is ever ready. Naivety helps with getting started. So take everything said here with a pinch of salt. Coz at the end of the day, you owe it to yourself to give it a shot at whatever you want to do.
Just remember, your decisions and actions every step along the way can make a massive difference for you, your family, your communities and your stakeholders. Don't procrastinate or fear the decisions and actions but make the best of them wherever you are at.
And finally, you don't need to be an entrepreneur, a CEO or whatever to be successful. You can be a great dad, a great friend, a great writer, a great musician, they are all equally respectable. And the biggest respect is for you, yourself. And if you want to be rich, spend less and invest regardless of your profession.
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