#it’s like personal post? I barely know her
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oh, snap!
summary. you and jake sim might have been best friends once upon a time, but not anymore. now, you barely talk to each other—so you decide to prove the universe wrong when you find out that he’s your soulmate, because there’s no way both of you are compatible.
pairing. jake sim x fem!reader genres. fluff, angst, childhood friends to lovers!au, soulmate!au, college!au word count. 7.0k
↳ warnings. profanity, alcohol consumption, sexual jokes, soulmate lore i made up ↳ a/n. this is a fic i had posted on my now deactivated blog, which i’ve made minor modifications to. thanks for reading!
The universe has to be fucking with you.
You aren’t one to believe in manifestation or the law of attraction or whatever other nonsense your TikTok feed provides you with. You think it’s a total waste of time, energy, and resources.
Right now, however, you’re manifesting with all your might—eyes screwed tightly shut, hands clasped in front of your chest, only one thought running through your head: Please don’t let it be Jake Sim, please don’t let it be Jake Sim, please don’t let it be—
You open one eye cautiously. You lift up the pinkie finger of your right hand equally carefully.
Fuck.
You drop your hands and let your head fall onto the desk in front of you. A dull thud echoes around you, and normally, you would be apologetic since you’re at the library, but because you’re wallowing in self-pity you can’t bring yourself to care. A frown mars your forehead. Maybe you’re manifesting wrong. Is that even a thing? Perhaps you should ask your friend Yizhou how to do it; she’s pretty popular on Instagram so surely she’d have some idea. Maybe one of her fellow influencer friends is a manifester. (Is that what they call it?)
You lift your head up and stare morosely at the red thread twined around your little finger. It winds down the floor, swirling and looping in gentle curves. You glare at the person it’s connected to.
Jake Sim, that little piece of shit.
The object of your disdain is seated one table away from yours. He’s hunched over his laptop, occasionally scribbling something into the messy notebook in front of him. His glasses keep slipping down the bridge of his nose, and every time he pushes them back up, you feel a tug on your finger.
This brings you to the following question: Does he not know you’re his soulmate?
You have three answers. One: He knows, but he doesn’t care. Two: He doesn’t know. Three: He doesn’t care.
The second option is rare but not unheard of. There have been several cases where people vehemently deny the existence of soulmates and refuse to believe in it. Such people never get to see the red thread that is wrapped around their finger, even though it exists. Truthfully, you feel bad for the people on the other side of the thread—the non-believer’s alleged soulmate. They will forever watch from afar, never going too close, but never straying away either. It sounds lonely, more than anything else.
You push that thought away. If Jake doesn’t know, it should be a good thing, right? You don’t need a soulmate to survive. You can just continue with your life as it is—attending classes, hanging out with your friends… Yeah, you’re happy with everything you have.
Another tug at your pinkie forces out an annoyed huff from your mouth. You glare at the perpetrator, still engrossed in his work. To be fair, you didn’t know Jake was your soulmate until very recently either. You knew the thread existed but didn’t know who it was connected to. When you were younger, you and your friends would have tons of fun pulling at the thread to annoy your unknown soulmate. Getting a pull back was a source of glee for seven-year-old you. Now, it just fills you with dread.
“Oi.” Someone’s breath tickles your ear.
“Fucking hell!”
You swat at your best friend’s face, successfully smacking his cheek. Taehyun grunts in pain. “Uncalled for.”
“What the fuck, Taehyun?” You grouse. “Don’t scare me like that. Sorry ‘bout your cheek.”
The boy rolls his eyes, sitting down on the chair next to you and dumping his tote bag on the table. “I’d feel better if you actually meant your apology. Also, why aren’t you studying? Our midterms start in a week and staring at Lover Boy isn’t gonna help you pass your classes.”
“Don’t call him that,” you snap. “And I was… studying.”
“Right. That’s exactly why none of your books are open.”
“Shut up, people are staring.”
Taehyun raises his eyebrows but doesn’t comment. You’re not wrong—people are staring. Well, specifically, one person. You flex your little finger a little, straightening it out and then bending it again. If Jake feels any sort of yank, he doesn’t show it. Not that you’re interested, of course. You’re just… observing. So is he, clearly. He peers over his glasses at you both, his expression not betraying anything.
You flinch when Taehyun pinches your side. Turning back to him, you’re ready to yell at him for being an annoying asshole, when he fixes you with a pitying sort of look. You swallow.
“Hey,” he says softly, “don’t overthink, okay? He’s alone right now, you might as well talk to him about this.”
You blink uneasily, eyes flitting between your friend and the unopened book in front of you.
“How long are you gonna avoid him? You’ve been hiding this for months. And… he has a right to know,” Taehyun finishes, flicking a strand of hair out of his eyes.
You swallow again, around the lump in your throat that’s been sitting there for months. You found out that Jake was your soulmate months ago. Yet, you can’t seem to bring yourself to confront him or tell him about it. A far cry from the whole entire concept of soulmates—isn’t he supposed to be your missing puzzle piece? Certainly not, if you’re too nervous to even approach him. The universe must have made a mistake. Whatever higher being exists must have assigned you to the wrong person.
Taehyun is right, though. (You’re not going to admit it to him, of course; there’s no need to boost his already inflated ego.)
Jake Sim does have a right to know that he’s your soulmate.
You shift uncomfortably. Taehyun drops his gaze with a sigh. “I know you two have a history but can’t you just sort this out?”
“I… can’t,” you say lamely.
Your best friend looks sadly at you. You look away, fidgeting with the cover of your textbook. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a girl make her way to Jake’s table. He perks up immediately, greeting her with a soft smile. She sits down next to him and grabs Jake’s laptop, angling it towards her like it’s second nature. It probably is, you think bitterly.
Another reason why you can’t tell Jake Sim about this whole Situation: He has a girlfriend.
Park Chaerin meets your eyes and waves at you cheerfully. You wave back, feeling sick to your stomach.
You press the tip of your pen into your notebook, fighting the urge to close your eyes. Even the half-empty cup of coffee next to your laptop has done little to wake you up. Morning classes are the bane of your existence, and as a night owl, you vehemently dislike getting up early. Your professor rattles on about an assignment due in a week. You stifle another yawn behind your hand.
Feeling a yank on your little finger, you press the palm of your hand on the desk and ignore it. Jake Sim is sitting right next to you—courtesy of both of you having arrived five minutes late, and the only seats left were in the last row. Your Friday 8 AM lecture on the Quantum Theory of Electromagnetism is normally interesting, but Professor Jang makes even the most stimulating topics seem dry. You usually end up resorting to self-study sessions in order to understand everything.
Jake is scribbling something next to you. He’s probably doodling. He used to do that a lot when he was little, too. You recall pages upon pages of maths notes interspersed with tiny drawings of dinosaurs and dragons in the margins. They had made you laugh at the time.
“Hey,” he whispers.
You blink.
“Hi,” you say.
Jake grins at you—and you’re dazzled, for a moment. It’s been so long since you’ve had that smile of his being directed at you. You’ve seen him smile at other people on campus—his new friends, his girlfriend, acquaintances—all from afar, and you push down the bitter sting of rejection that pricks you every time. After so many months, it feels like you were in a pitch-black room all this time, and someone suddenly turned on the lights. It’s blinding.
Your former friend caps his pen and leans back in his chair. “Did you get enough sleep?”
“Um, yeah,” you answer. Just to be polite, you add, “...Did you?”
“Kind of.” Jake winces.
“Oh.”
“I was trying to understand the topic before this. Y’know—” he meets your eyes expectantly— “the whole Kronig-Penney model and the Bloch function and all that. I spent, like, two hours on them,” he says sheepishly.
“Oh, uh, yeah, those are kinda difficult,” you offer.
You’re still perplexed by this whole situation. Admittedly, after weeks of minimal contact with your childhood best friend, this isn’t how you imagined your reunion would go. All awkwardness aside, however, it feels… nice, talking to him again. It’s hard to move past the last few months, but there’s nothing wrong with this, right? You can think of it as two classmates bonding over a hard course they willingly chose. Two classmates who’ve known each other since they were toddlers just learning to walk, but you deliberately don’t think of that.
Jake hums. “The graphs get super confusing.”
“I guess,” you say.
He leans forward abruptly, elbows knocking on the edge of the desk. His stare on you is intent, focused. “Is your number still the same?”
You gape at him, mouth open like a blown-out fish. “Uh… yeah. Why?”
“So I can text you if I don’t understand anything,” Jake says simply, easily, still sporting that same easygoing smile of his. Your stomach twists into knots, and you force yourself to appear calm and not like your heart is about to leap out of your throat.
“I think you should’ve asked me first,” you manage to say.
He looks at you strangely, a dip in his eyebrows. “Why would I do that?”
Why, indeed.
Jake has known you for years; this is an undeniable fact. Even now, he probably knows you better than anyone else does—or ever could. So there’s absolutely no way he can’t make sense of the stifling awkwardness that surrounds you both.
However, the same holds true for you: You know Jake Sim just as well as he knows you. You know he’s trying to bridge a gap, make amends in a way only he does. You would be a fool if you didn’t take it in stride.
You crack a small smile. “Fair enough.”
He picks up his pen and twirls it between his fingers idly, before saying, “I’ll text you about other stuff, too.”
“Okay.”
“Great.”
Jake is all smiles and sunshine. He starts doodling again—what looks like a misshapen traffic cone of some sort. You look away, and tuck this little slice of goldenness into your rapidly rabbiting heart.
This is not good. You pay no heed to the thread around your little finger, and pick up your own pen. Angling your notebook away from your deskmate, you begin to write.
REASONS WHY JAKE SIM CANNOT BE MY SOULMATE FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT
#1. he doesn’t know you as well as he should (okay, maybe he does)
You have no clue how you ended up studying with Jake Sim and Park Chaerin, of all people.
Your own friends, Kang Taehyun and Kim Gaeul are utterly nonplussed at this new situation. You give them a helpless shrug when they elbow each other and raise their eyebrows at you. The library is fairly empty at this hour, which makes it an ideal time to study without the distractions of other people. Of course, you didn’t consider the two people who’ve decided you’re a physics expert and require your guidance.
You humour them because you’re a nice person—not because you’re weak to Jake’s entreaties and his offer of buying you food for a whole week.
Chaerin smiles at your friends. “Hey, guys! Come join us.”
Taehyun is the first to blink out of his confusion. He moves forward, pulling out the chair opposite yours and settling down. “Thanks. We won’t bother you guys much.”
Gaeul nods her head. “Yeah, I have a bunch of assignments to finish.” She chuckles nervously, smoothing out her hair.
“No problem,” Jake supplies. “Your friend is super smart.”
Taehyun raises his eyebrows, pointing an incredulous finger at you. “You mean…?”
“Hey!” You swing your leg and kick Taehyun’s shin from under the table. He winces in pain. Gaeul giggles, and so does Chaerin. Jake lets out an amused snort.
“Anyway, as I was saying,” you say, “this bit isn’t that important from a test point of view, so just go over it to get the general idea.” You mark the paragraph you were referring to with a pencil.
Chaerin and Jake nod in tandem, like a pair of bobbleheads. You bite your lip to stifle your smile—they’re so perfect together, it’s ridiculous. You wouldn’t be surprised if Jake’s end of the string was connected to Chaerin’s instead. Is that even possible? You’ll have to google it up.
The thought puts a significant damper on your mood, and you turn away, drawing back from the pair sitting next to you.
Instead, you lock eyes with Taehyun, who’s glaring at you with enough intensity to drill a hole through your forehead. Talk to him, he mouths. You give him a small shake of your head.
You can’t talk to him about anything serious. Explaining physics to him and his girlfriend in the presence of your own best friends is a sort of safe zone; you don’t have to discuss anything personal whatsoever. All you have to do is prattle off a list of formulae and derivations and graphs, and hope that what you’re telling them to study is actually going to be asked on your midterm next week.
Taehyun rolls his eyes so hard, you wonder how they haven’t popped out of their sockets. He’s exasperated, you can tell—and Gaeul has probably been receiving the brunt of it all, because he would never outrightly say he’s upset with you. He would rant to Gaeul instead, trusting that she would tell you everything he told her but more nicely. That’s how your little trio circles back to each other.
You shift uncomfortably. Gaeul catches your eye and gives you a small, sympathetic smile. Your lips twitch upwards slightly.
“Wow,” Chaerin says, “I can’t believe we finished a whole unit in, like, one and a half hours.” She directs the next part to you. “You’re really smart. Don’t listen to Taehyun.”
“Y/N doesn’t listen to me anyway,” your friend grumbles. Gaeul hides her snort behind her styrofoam cup of coffee.
Speaking of which, you could really use some caffeine too. Anything to get away from Jake Sim and his quiet, knowing… aura, is the word you settle for. He wasn’t always this quiet—he used to be loud and raucous when it was just the two of you in high school—so while this new development isn’t surprising, it certainly is jarring.
“I’m going to get some coffee,” you announce to the table at large. “Anyone wanna come with?”
“I’ll come,” Jake says immediately. “I owe you for teaching us.”
“Oh, um.” You attempt to smile. “I—”
“Please go,” Taehyun says suddenly, his tone beseeching. “I need coffee too but I don’t trust Y/N to not put salt in mine or something.”
You gape at him, betrayal flooding your features. Gaeul snorts again. Chaerin just looks at you and Jake alternately. Jake’s lips twitch upwards. “Y/N still does that?”
You whirl around to face him. “What?”
“Oh, this is getting interesting,” Gaeul pipes up. “Do elaborate.”
“I second that,” Chaerin adds.
You feel your cheeks and the back of your neck heat up. You want to implore your former best friend to keep his pretty mouth shut, but your ego doesn’t let you grovel in front of three other people. Jake raises his eyebrows, lips parting to form a small ‘o’. He smiles, a little bit sheepish. Before he can say anything, you intervene.
“That was one time, Taehyun!” you snap. “And it was by accident. Why would I willingly put salt in your coffee?”
Taehyun raises an eyebrow at you, but inside, you know he’s laughing uncontrollably at your predicament. “Who knows? You might wanna poison me for being cooler than you.”
“What is this, high school? And why the fuck would I want a murder on my hands? I’m too young to go to jail.”
Chaerin tries to muffle her giggles with her hand. Both you and Taehyun turn simultaneously to look at her. “Sorry.” She giggles again. “You two talk like an old married couple.”
“Gross,” you say, at the same time Taehyun draws out an, “Ew,” and extends the last syllable like a child in kindergarten.
“Oh my God,” Gaeul says. “Chaerin, you’re a genius. I see it too.”
“Not you too,” Taehyun groans.
The two begin bickering again, and Chaerin joins them with enthusiasm, adding her own little tidbits of support for Gaeul in between the conversation. During all this, Jake remains remarkably quiet, an amused smile tugging on his lips.
You turn to him, a rush of sudden embarrassment making your cheeks heat up. It occurs to you that he’s never seen you like this—laughing and joking around with your friends. Friends that don’t include him. “Sorry,” you mumble. “Let’s go get coffee.”
“Okay.”
You and Jake push your chairs back under the table and exit the library. The coffee shop is two storeys down, so you make a beeline for the staircase. Your former best friend follows you, his undone shoelaces slapping on the tiles. He still doesn’t tie his shoelaces properly, then. Perhaps he hasn’t changed as much as you thought.
“Hey, by the way,” he says, “I was gonna tell Taehyun about the time I put salt in your coffee.”
“...I know.” Your answer is short, clipped. You force your shoulders to relax—there’s no need to tense up when Jake Sim is around.
“Oh. Uh, okay then.”
You don’t look at him, but you’re fairly certain he’s doing that thing he always does when he’s feeling awkward: A little rub of his thumb against the corner of his mouth. It’s a tic he’s always had, from the time you were in elementary school, and it isn’t any different now.
A stifling silence falls upon you both. You almost wish Taehyun and Gaeul were here, bringing Chaerin with them in tow. The three of them seemed to get along well; the chances of the five of you hanging out outside of college are high, now.
Of course, that also means you and Jake will have to pretend like everything’s alright between you both, and that your decades-long friendship wasn’t shattered by one single argument.
You round the corner to the staircase and begin the descent downwards. Jake holds onto the railing on the other side. Despite everything, you think Jake is the braver one between you two.
He breaks the silence as easily as he broke your heart, and asks:
“Do you still take your macchiato with two packets of sugar?”
“Yeah,” you say softly.
#2. he wants to be friends again (why?)
You blame Kang Taehyun for this.
Of course he had to forget to pick up the pizza from the local restaurant before coming back to his place. Of course he didn’t check the weather forecast beforehand, and even if he did, of course he didn’t tell you it was going to rain. Of fucking course he asks you to pick up the food for him because your classes only ended at 4 and the get-together to celebrate the end of midterms was at 4:30.
If you had the power, you would curse your best friend to oblivion. You grip your phone in your hand, gritting your teeth and staring down at the screen.
Group Chat: the holy trinity of dumbasses 🤡 [16:12] You: it’s fukcing pouring here and i didnt bring my car [16:12] taehyun (mega asshole 🤬): *Fucking [16:13] You: yeah it’s something you’ve never done before [16:13] You: i have the pizza [16:13] You: come and pick me up or im throwing it in the dustbin. [16:14] gaeul 🤍: u shouldn’t waste food y/n >:( [16:14] taehyun (mega asshole 🤬): You’re making Gaeul cry >:( [16:14] gaeul 🤍: girl what [16:15] You: aw cute [16:15] You: seriously tho [16:16] You: come pick me up [16:17] taehyun (mega asshole 🤬): OK, I’m on my way [16:17] You: FUCKING FINALLY
The plastic bag with all the pizza boxes dangles off your wrist, cutting into your skin. The steps that lead to the inside of the restaurant are slick with rainwater. You open Instagram and scroll through your feed mindlessly, clicking on your classmates’ stories.
You shiver. Rainy weather always makes the temperature drop by several degrees, and your flimsy jacket isn’t enough to drive away the chill. Forget Taehyun, maybe you should’ve checked the forecast instead. Sometimes (read: most of the time) you can be just as stupid as him. You wonder how Gaeul puts up with the single brain cell you and Taehyun toss between each other like a hot potato.
Honestly, you just want to go somewhere where it’s dry and warm.
Your phone vibrates in your hand, and it takes you a whole minute to comprehend the name that shows up on the caller ID.
Jake Sim.
Why is Jake Sim calling you?
You chew on your lip nervously before swiping your thumb up and accepting his call. Bringing your phone to your ear, you let the plastic bag sway gently. The line is silent for a few seconds, as though neither of you can comprehend the fact that you’re on a call with each other. It makes sense; this is the first time in months he’s calling you.
Finally, Jake’s voice crackles over the speaker. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
“I’m outside. Can you see me?”
“I, uh.” You look around quickly. The parking lot in front of you is mostly empty, a good chunk of people having escaped the rain. It’s not hard to make out the solitary figure standing outside a beaten-down Toyota, holding an umbrella aloft. “Yeah, I see you.”
“Oh, good,” he says. “Do you have an umbrella?”
“Nope. Just… pizza.”
Jake makes a noise that sounds like a warbled chuckle. “Okay, I’m coming over there.”
“...Okay.”
For some strange reason, you don’t feel like ending the call. You fumble for something to say, because it’s weird just being on a call with someone you can literally see. The tug on your little finger as he comes closer to you makes a lump form in your throat. You take a deep breath and push it down into your stomach.
“You haven’t changed your car,” you say lightly.
Jake hums, the sound so familiar it doesn’t even surprise you until you register it. “Can’t afford a new one. Plus, it works decently.”
He strides over to you, and it’s unnecessarily sexy—the way he holds the black umbrella up with one hand and his phone to his ear with the other. You can see the speckles of rain on his grey hoodie where the raindrops bounce off the ends of the umbrella. His hair is swept to the side, lips pink with chapstick. Another yank on your pinkie finger; you clench your fist.
“Please,” you snort. “The last time I was in it, it took twenty minutes to start the engine. That was a year ago, Jake.”
He’s closer now, nearing the steps. His eyes don’t leave yours. They trace over all your features, as though he’s committing you to memory—you, with your tangled hair and tired eye bags, chapped lips and dirty sneakers. You swallow.
He puts his phone down and speaks to you directly. “I think that was the driver’s fault. But don’t worry, I can drive better now.”
You let your hand drop limply to your side.
“Hi,” Jake says.
“Hi again,” you manage to say.
“Here, let me take that.” He reaches out for the pizza bag, but you don’t give it to him.
“It’s fine. Just… hold up the umbrella and don’t get us wet.”
Jake laughs, a short, bright sound. “I won’t.”
You step towards him, quickly slipping underneath the shelter of the umbrella above your head. It’s a tight fit—one of your shoulders pokes out, as does one of his. You grimace when your sleeve gets splattered with rain.
Jake leads the way to his ancient car, scratched and scuffed with years of use. It was his dad’s old one, a gift for him on his seventeenth birthday, one that his mom had told you about to surprise him with. It seems like a bygone history now.
“I thought Taehyun was gonna come,” you comment.
Jake looks at you strangely. “I thought you asked for me to come pick you up.”
“I… did?” You gasp at the realisation. Kang Taehyun, that fucker. “I’m sorry,” you say awkwardly. “Taehyun probably told you that I was stuck in the rain.”
“He did,” Jake confirms. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. It’s not a problem at all.”
“Oh… okay, then.” Still, you feel guilty. Jake came all the way in the rain just because your best friend couldn’t stop being a meddling little nincompoop.
“Why wouldn’t I come?” Jake continues. His voice sounds deliberately casual. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“...Yeah. I guess.”
Jake stops near his car, fishing around in his pocket for the keys. “Look, I—I know things haven’t been the same lately, but I—” he licks his lips, another nervous tic of his— “I want you to know that I never stopped thinking of you as my best friend. Okay?”
You blink, sucking in a breath sharply. “I, um, yeah. Yeah, okay,” you say lamely.
Jake nods once, not meeting your eyes. “And for what it’s worth, I’m glad you’ve found friends like Gaeul and Taehyun. They’re good people.”
“So is Chaerin,” you say. “And so is Sunghoon.”
“Yeah,” he says, smiling faintly, unlocking the door. “And so are you.”
Sometimes, you wonder if Jake also feels a pull on his little finger. If he does, does he ever wonder where it’s from? Or does he not feel it at all? You bend your finger and shuffle into the passenger side of his car. He closes the door for you before crossing over to the other side and climbing into the driver’s seat.
Whatever the case is, one thing is for sure: Jake Sim is your soulmate, and even if he wasn’t, you’d still be in love with him.
Just like you were one year ago.
#3. his parents adore you (and so do you, but there’s always the yearning and the aching)
“Hey, mom and dad are asking when you’re gonna visit again.”
Jake swings into your periphery, putting his phone back in his pocket. His mom had called about fifteen minutes ago to make plans for Jake to go home over the weekend. Potentially, you could also go—your childhood home is right next to his. It’s been a while since you last visited; your little sister sends you texts about how much she misses you.
He sits down on the chair next to yours, looking at you expectantly. You’re at your favourite spot in the library, one that’s been designated as you and your friends’ table. Jake and Chaerin have been officially integrated into your tiny trio; Gaeul and Chaerin get along really well, and Taehyun and Jake follow the same sports teams. Occasionally, their other friend, Park Sunghoon, joins you but he’s very quiet and mostly keeps to himself.
You don’t look up from your laptop screen when you answer, “I’m not sure.”
“Huh. Mom says you’ve said that to your mom every time she asks.”
Things between you and Jake have reached a semblance of normalcy, too. It’s not the same as it used to be—it can never be the same as it used to be—but at least the pang you feel in your chest whenever he talks to you has dulled somewhat.
“I’ve been busy,” you say vaguely.
“Oh, c’mon,” Jake retorts. “Our midterms were over a week ago. What’re you waiting for?”
You don’t reply. He waits for a moment before saying, “I could drive you.”
That gets your full attention. Your gaze snaps to him, mouth pressed together.
“I mean, we literally live right next to each other, Y/N,” he continues. “It’ll save gas. And the environment.”
You snort. “Your car is more of a hazard to the environment than us not carpooling is.”
“You don’t know how to drive,” he deadpans.
“That’s not true! I can drive, I just choose not to. Saving the environment and all.” You point an accusing finger at him. “If you really care about the environment, you should take the bus home with me.”
Jake shrugs loosely. “I don’t care how we go home, as long as you come with me. I’m sure your sister misses you too.”
There it is again: That easy, light way he says things. Nonchalant and unaffected—though it affects you more than it should.
“You’ll pay for the tickets?”
Jake’s grin is golden. “If that’s what it takes.”
That’s how you find yourself crammed in between Jake Sim and an old auntie with a flower-patterned bandana, on the bus back to your hometown three days later. The auntie gives you and Jake a few cookies she’d packed for her grandchildren, and then promptly falls asleep on your shoulder (Jake couldn’t stop laughing for ten minutes when he saw the line of drool she’d left on your shirt sleeve). He offers you his own shoulder in case you want to sleep too; your cheeks heat up at the thought. It’s a bumpy ride, but after stopping at the bus stop nearest to your house, Flower Auntie sends you off with a few more cookies and a box of homemade kimchi, and you and Jake begin walking back to your neighbourhood.
Some things have changed—the playground is being renovated, your old elementary school is being repainted, the Kims who owned the local ramen shop retired and set the place up for rent. But at its heart, it’s all the same, you think. Kids still run around holding warm bungeoppang from street stalls and cartons of strawberry milk from the convenience store. Their mothers sit around and gossip about celebrities and complain about their husbands. People working corporate jobs curse under their breaths about their bosses and their unforgiving schedules. It’s late in the evening when you arrive, a bag containing all of Flower Auntie’s goodies hanging off Jake’s arm. All the local eateries are opening up for the dinner rush, drawing people in with the offer of free beer and soju for every meal purchased.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Jake says, a fond smile on his lips.
“Yeah,” you agree softly.
Despite everything, it’s still home.
The two of you cross the streets to your houses, sneakers slapping against the pavement. Several neighbours who’ve seen you both grow up call out and wave hello. You’re stopped by Mrs. Lee’s son, Heeseung, who makes you both promise to go out for dinner with him tomorrow.
Finally, you stand in front of your childhood home. The rusted door and peeling-off paint greets you like a best friend. You shoulder your backpack and ring the doorbell, saying goodbye to Jake as he walks into his own house.
The door swings open—only to reveal Mrs. Sim standing at your doorway. Before you can voice your confusion, she pulls you into a tight hug, mumbling your name into your hair.
“Welcome home,” she says, moving aside and letting you in. “Your mother is in the kitchen. She’s just started making dinner.”
“Oh, okay.” You grin. “It’s great to see you, Mrs. Sim.”
“I swear you love Y/N more than me.”
You turn around and see Jake standing by the door, an affectionate look in his eyes. You direct your grin at him, too.
“Suck it up, loser.”
Jake’s guffaw rings in your ears even when your sister screams with unabashed joy as soon as she sees you.
#4. he broke your heart once (he could do it again)
You stare at the red thread wrapped around your finger. It’s dulled a bit now, compared to how it was a few years ago. Some of its shine is lost; it looks more opaque now. You crook your finger experimentally, knowing it's futile but still holding on to some hope that maybe Jake will feel it too.
To live for the hope of it all, as a wise song-writer once penned.
You startle when Jake sets a mug of coffee in front of you. His house is empty—your mother and Mrs. Sim went to buy groceries together and his father is out of the city on a business trip. Your sister is hanging out with her friends but told you to call her if you needed anything.
“Here you go,” Jake says, sitting down on the chair next to you. “Have some and then we can go buy some hangover soup.”
“Thanks,” you mumble, curling your fingers around the mug and savouring its warmth. The liquid inside is not too bitter, but not too sweet either—just how you like it.
“Feeling any better?”
You wince. Going out for dinner with Heeseung meant drinks were also attached. Being back in your hometown after weeks meant you had to check out all your favourite restaurants again and visit the ones that popped up after you left for college. The result: You swallowed down entirely too much soju, Heeseung and Jake had to physically carry you home, your head is killing you right now, and your embarrassment is at its peak.
When you woke up in the early afternoon to texts from your family members detailing their various absences, you reluctantly made your way out of your bedroom and to the Sims’ place.
Which brings you here, perched on a chair at the Sims’ dining table, fiddling with your red string of fate, while the object of your thoughts sits right next to you.
“Yeah, a little,” you murmur in response to his question.
“Good.” Jake stretches his arms above his head, exposing a sliver of his midriff. You swallow. “Your alcohol tolerance is still the same.”
“Yours isn’t any better,” you counter. “You didn’t drink more than one bottle of soju.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You were counting?”
You huff, ignoring the warmth that spreads to your cheeks. “That’s not the point.”
“I’m just joking,” he says, bringing his hands back down. “I was kinda surprised Heeseung has a girlfriend now.”
You hum, taking another sip of your drink. Your head still pounds, but the caffeine is kicking in and making you more lively. It is strange, though, seeing your childhood friend settle down. Judging by the way he talks about her, he’s completely smitten. She’s my soulmate, he had said, and I don’t even believe in my thread.
The memory makes hurt bubble up inside your throat, so you chug the remaining liquid in the mug.
“It’s nice, though,” Jake continues, something… wistful crossing his face. “I wish I had someone like that.”
You look away, staring down at the ring of coffee left on the wooden table from your mug. “Yeah, I guess… Aren’t you dating Chaerin, though?”
You bite the bullet—what’s the point, anyway? There’s no use in dragging it out. Not when he clearly doesn’t know that his soulmate is sitting right next to him. You can deal with the hurt that comes with rejection later.
Jake stills. You glance at him—he tilts his head confusedly. “Chaerin? No… What makes you think that?”
“Everyone said you guys were dating,” you say with a small, uncertain shrug.
“I mean…” He blinks. “We hooked up once, but that’s really it.”
It’s your turn to blink now, bemused. “Huh?”
“Yeah, we were drunk and it just sorta happened? I dunno,” he says sheepishly. “We didn’t remember any of it later, so we just agreed to remain friends. Plus, her soulmate is Sunghoon.”
“Wait, what?” Your teeth worry your bottom lip. Your mind is swirling with questions—was it possible that you had misread Jake Sim all this time?
“Yeah,” he says softly. “It’s no big deal.”
“...Oh. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed things,” you apologise quietly. Despite all this, his words make a swell of optimism rise in your chest.
He shrugs. “I, uh, wouldn’t blame you. We didn’t talk much after… after everything.”
“Yeah.” Your admission is soft, regret burning a hole in your tongue.
“So, um…” Jake trails off, looking unsure of himself. That’s a first, you realise with a start. He’s usually so calm and collected, even in the worst times. “Do you still feel the same as you did a year ago?”
You suck in a breath. “Why—why would you ask me something like that?”
“I—just curious.”
His eyes land on yours, beseeching and glorious. Even when he’s just woken up, he looks like he’s been dipped in the sun’s golden rays. Your heart hammers inside your chest.
“Wait, can I ask you something else? Why… did you reject me that night?”
As soon as the words leave your mouth, you’re transported back to that fateful evening in July.
You stuttered the words out, and explained that you were in love with him, that you were pretty sure he was your soulmate, regardless of who your string was actually connected to. With every new sentence you tacked on, the emotion on Jake’s face vanished. Towards the end, you felt your face crumble.
He left you alone on the pavement, broken-hearted and lovesick.
Jake clears his throat awkwardly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come off so harsh on you that day.”
“I don’t care about that, Jake,” you say simply. “I just want to know why.”
“Because I was stupid. I didn’t believe in the soulmate bullshit, but I know you do. You’ve always been a hopeless romantic. I—” He licks his lips before continuing— “The truth is, Y/N, I really, really like you… But I didn’t want to hold you back from finding your true soulmate—whoever was on the other side of your string—’cause I know they’re gonna be the one for you.”
If you weren’t sitting already, you’re sure Jake’s confession would have swept you off your feet and you would be a bumbling mess on his dining room floor. Seeing the forlorn look on his face, you nearly crumble. How stupid your soulmate is. How kind and caring and selfless.
“So I rejected you. I thought I wouldn’t be able to make you happy.” He pauses for a moment, his voice dropping. “It’s still the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”
You finally find your voice. “Jake…”
He laughs somberly. “You probably think I’m an asshole.”
“I could never think that,” you say firmly. Your hand finds his on the tabletop, and he laces your fingers together, staring at your connected palms with awe.
“I do think you’re a little bit dumb, because I’ve liked you too since, like, forever—”
“Define forever,” he interrupts, not unkindly.
“Well—maybe since the time you surprised me with all the physical copies of that book series I wanted for my fifteenth birthday?”
“Then,” he says, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand, “I’ve loved you since before forever.”
A surprised laugh bursts out of your mouth. You feel a tug on your little finger as Jake moves his hand away from yours and cups your cheek with it instead. “I’ve also wanted to kiss you since before forever.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he confirms, drawing closer to you.
You lean forward and capture his lips with yours, running your tongue along his bottom lip. He parts his mouth with a sigh, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. His other free hand comes to rest on the nape of your neck; you wind your arms around his neck. The position is a bit cumbersome—the edge of the chair digs into your thigh, and he nearly knocks his elbow on the back of his chair—but his touch is searing hot, the welcome kind, the kind that makes you crave more and more and more.
“You promise you won’t do it again?” you ask later, out of breath and flushed.
“I promise,” he says, and he links his pinkie finger with yours to seal the deal.
The thread tied around it glows golden.
#5. he doesn’t even believe in soulmates (but he’ll try)
“You can’t see it?”
“I’ve told you a million times already,” Jake says patiently, “but I can’t.”
“How?” You look at him dubiously. “It’s literally a glowing golden thread connecting you and me.”
“I don’t need a thread to connect us,” your boyfriend quips. “I can think of better uses for a rope.”
You make a sound of disgust. “We’re at the library.”
Jake Sim grins at you, all bright and shining and vivid. “So?”
Taehyun lets out a pointed cough, typing on his laptop. “There are other people here,” he says, motioning to Gaeul, Chaerin and Sunghoon. All three of them are very obviously avoiding your gaze. Even the tips of Taehyun’s ears are pink. You stifle a giggle.
“Sorry,” Jake says, not sounding sorry at all. He picks up your hand again, thumb brushing against the knuckle of your little finger, right above the knot where the golden string is tied. He whispers to you, next, “I just don’t believe in it.”
“I know,” you say. “But you’re missing out on a lot.”
Jake hums. “I don’t believe in soulmates. But I believe in you.”
You roll your eyes, ready to chew him out for being a sappy romantic again, when his next words make your heart stutter.
“I think that’s good enough for me.”
#enhypen x reader#jake x reader#enhypen fluff#jake fluff#enhypen imagines#jake imagines#enhypen x y/n#jake x y/n#enhypen x you#jake x you#jake sim x reader#jake sim fluff#jake sim imagines#jake sim x y/n#jake sim x you#sim jaeyun x reader#sim jaeyun fluff#sim jaeyun imagines#enha x reader#enha fluff#enha imagines#enha x y/n#enha x you#enhypen#jake sim#jake#sim jaeyun
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To sidetrack from your answer, hijack your post, and piss off almost anyone that likes Worm;
I feel most people have that level of disconnect from Worm.
Worm is about a broken teenager in a broken world doing stupid shit and thinking stupider shit. Fucked up things happen to her and around her, and she kinda has to try to cope. She doesn't have the right answer to anything, and she never will, and neither will anyone else, the world is a fucked up place and it's impossible to get anything right, but if everyone works together we can barely survive.
A lot of people read Worm and surmise that the opinions of Taylor must be the opinions of the author, for better or worse. My thought on this is that it doesn't matter, I don't see her as a paragon of perfect human judgement and I don't think anyone should, but I also think that it's unreasonable to judge an author for making a damaged main character.
To me, Worm represents, to an extent, how ostracization, trauma, and an incomplete upbringing can damage your ability to make the right choices, how survival above all else can bring so much damage to all around us. It represents the damage we can have done to us or do to ourselves if we don't get help with dealing with our trauma, as well as the damage we inflict upon others.
The very easy face value interpretation of the powers, symbolically, is that they are a representation of the issues that people face in society. It's obvious, I know, but I feel like some people don't appreciate how that impacts the symbolism of using the powers to hurt others, or the symbolism of people gaining power and immediately using it to their own benefit and the loss of others.
People shit on Taylor for thinking drug use is bad, but, surprise, not only is there a sliver of truth hidden in there, but also there doesn't have to be, it can be a symbol of how children are taught to think by their schools and neighborhoods.
People also criticize her for things that are more difficult to make a solid judgement on. For making bad calls about who to save or how to do it. For taking so long to go to the authorities, or for going to them at all. For striving for power at the cost of too much, for not striving hard enough.
Through it all I think I would say every character just.... Is damaged, broken, needs help... And no one gets treatment early enough or in a reasonable fashion. We're dealing with the American healthcare system, we're dealing with society's refusal to take mental health seriously, and we're dealing with how that causes the gradual rot of the system.
The entire world of Worm is that nuanced, and not everything is explained well from the perspective of a broken teenage girl dealing with way too much. And yet what people get from it is... "The author hates women because he accurately shows that women are marginalized" "the author hates drugs because there's a person in there who is an example of what happens when someone slides past normal drug use" "the author hates Jews because he didn't go on a 10 page monologue about what precisely is wrong about the Nazis and instead just stopped with 'the Nazis are bad guys, duh' and nothing else except for the subtextual elements about mob mentality and the frailty of the human psyche in response to threats!"
In the end, I think the ultimate takeaway of Worm should be: go to fuckin therapy, yea you, even if you think you don't need to, especially if you don't think you need to.
Habe you ever had a "did we even play the same game?" moment with someone?
My favorite game ever used to be Metal Gear Solid 4, it’s still up there in my top favorites, and this time at a party I met a guy that said he didn’t like MGS4 because he felt like it ruined Snake as a character and that it misrepresented him. I asked if he could elaborate and his response was that they took this Rambo dude, this super manly war hero and emasculated him into a weak old man.
I need you to understand that Solid Snake was without exaggeration fundamental in my growth as a person: I am from a latino country, grew up in what’s widely considered the wrong side of the tracks in the middle of nowhere, being macho, manly, tough was incredibly important to me, because that’s how it was in there, and Snake (plus “The Knight In Rusty Armor” by Robert Fisher) basically made me question all of what I’d grown up thinking up until then, because Snake isn’t a badass because grrr manly beef jerky I kill and swear, he is this incredibly solemn guy who hates what he can do, but is the only one that can do it, and if he doesn’t do it, then nuclear war happens, or worse. There’s a whole angle of expectation as a narrative arc in regards to Snake: Meryl expected a glorious, boisterous war hero, Otacon expected a grizzled, badass action hero, Liquid expected Himself But Better In Every Way, Ocelot expected a tool and nothing else, Naomi expected a callous and cold killer… And they were all wrong, he is, ultimately, an exhausted man that cannot stop no matter how much he wants to stop, because if he does, the world might likely go up in literal flames.
So to hear this self-proclaimed superfan of Snake say this just made me skip anger and go all the way to pity. In-universe, those in the know of Snake worship him as an actual God of War, and it’s a common thing that gets addressed in-universe: The whole point of MGS2 is that Raiden could never have won if he tried to be Snake, because you don’t want to be Snake. Snake hates being Snake. Snake isn’t manly because he beat a tank on foot one on one, Snake is admirable because he does the right thing, even if he’s breaking down molecule by molecule as he goes and he wants nothing more than to fuck off and raise dogs in the arctic, but keeps on going anyways because he can do something about it. The most important message he imparts on Raiden and Meryl is Don’t Be Me; Create A World Where Snake Doesn’t Need To Exist.
I felt pity because if you feel like MGS4 misrepresented Snake, then you really and explicitly are exactly the kind of fodder PMC nobody that feeds the proxy wars in MGS4. I think only by skipping every cutscene you can come out thinking that way. The only thing super about him was ficial.
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And here he is – Captain Vaughn 🤩
Captain Rex didn’t feel like being Commander, but this is how we got Captain Vaughn, showing his loyalty and kindness only within moments in the 332nd company for Ahsoka (s7e9), so he's one of the underrated clones which would have deserved more sceentime *sigh* ♥️
We never got to see his face, so there’s so much space for head canons, isn’t it? 🥰 His look in this piece is inspired by this gorgeous look (<-) designed by @lonewolflupe 🫶
I also want to share some process magic while I was working on Captain Vaughn, so ramble incoming 😁 Take a seat and have a caf ☕️
It’s always the eyes when I draw. They just lead the main energy of the character and that influences the face. So I sketched line after line and his face got clearer… with some unforeseen vibes! Since I’m not that fixed to templates anymore, there can be more variation, no matter how much I try to catch the right copy paste clone-face angles... or even colors 🤯
Have a closer look into unusual clone eyes, oh yes 👀
Lupe and I were chatting about his lighter look with freckles in her artwork (a bit Tech color palette with golden and copper tones) and I told her that I don’t know why, but I feel like some heterochromia in his eyes 😀 So his eyes are like this now – not planned and unforeseen, like it is often when art takes over ✨
I really don’t know what the Kaminoans were doing during the cloning process 😂 but we got some varied clones – for example ‚icy eyes‘ Edge from the Tango company, or the blue eyed drunk one meeting Fives in front of the 79s (I named him ‚Blues‘ hehe 😜).
Without guiding my lines along a template, doing everything out of my mind, sometimes I might get either feeling like crooked fingers or odd sight, but this can be the point where the true art magic begins, because I’m not in charge anymore. I can only shrug and surrender to the flow and I love it 🥰
So I don’t know when it happened, but look at him… 👀 WHY does he look a bit like Echo? AND Rex? And there’s something soft in his eyes what reminds me of Kix, too? And it just fits his calm and loyal character!
For Commander Wolffe for example it could never be this face and it would never happen in the drawing process like that, it wouldn’t fit, but… I’m rambling – I could never point to the lines or the moment where things like this happen. Yeah, they’re all clones and share the same face, but faces do shape after their thoughts, experiences and their lives – more frowning or more smiling 😀
Oh, I love this. Not really being in charge while drawing, but achieving so much more without being under the illusion of the concept of control what is we’re all be taught… holy force I’m really rambling and diving
Sorry not sorry, art is my passion I guess and art is my healing thing, too 🤩 I’m proud of you, if you read all this! Enjoy 🫶
My personal ALT text mission (1 additional ALT text for a previous artwork with each new art posting!):
Captain Gregor's faces part 1 one of my oldest clone drawings, what an improving process since then, I barely can't believe it 🤩
Taglist: @eclec-tech @bixlasagna @returnofthepineapple @sunshinesdaydream @covert1ntrovert @general-ida-raven @vrycurious @dystopicjumpsuit @chaicilatte @groguandthebadbatch @justanotherdikutsimp @ladylucksrogue
#captain vaughn#heterochromia#my underrated clones list is tagged ->#underrated clones#star wars#the clone wars#clones#clone trooper vaughn#ct 0292#tcw#tcw vaughn#332nd company#artists on tumblr#my art#eobe
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PURE ATTRACTION | JJK | TATTOO ARTIST
Pairing: TattooArtistJungkook X NaiveReader
summary: "I shouldn’t be watching a man undressing, specially not from the house next door."
Warning: angst 😭 (I know, but I promise it will pass soon) kiss, crying, Jungkook being an idiot, but regretting later (he will suffer a bit more in the next chapters, I promise) alcoholic drink, confession 😍
A/N: I know, I promised I would post this yesterday, but my internet stopped working and there was nothing I could do 🤷♀️ anyway, here it is: finally things are aligning a little bit. Spoiler alert: the OC's mother will soon find out what’s going on, and things will get ugly 😬. Speaking of which, PURE ATTRACTION is coming to an end, and I'm already thinking about new projects. I hope you can join me on this journey 🤟
Previous Chapter
CAPITULO 11
The fright pulls me away from Y/N instantly. When I look back, it's Bora calling me. She stops walking and stares at us for a few seconds. Then she smiles in a mischievous way, almost as if we were doing something more than a near kiss. I can't ignore the bad feeling that overwhelms me when I can't achieve my goal. I know I'm confused and should avoid playing with someone else's feelings, but being apart from her these past few days, has been my greatest martyrdom.
“Sorry to interrupt.” She giggles, biting her lower lip.
“You didn’t interrupt anything.” Y/N quickly shakes her head, embarrassed. “I need to see Hayun. Is she around?”
“Yes.” Bora nods in agreement. “Jungkook, Namjoon was looking for you. Please go see him. No one can stand him anymore, seriously. It feels like a funeral over there.”
“I’ll be right there.” I sigh, feeling I have no choice. I didn't want to go, but I know I need to. I glance at Y/N one last time before heading inside Yoongi's house. I try to maintain a calm expression, but I can’t. I’m so dazed by everything happening that I can barely think straight.
Namjoon came to Busan out of the blue, and even though I have some regard for him, I didn’t want him to do it. I shouldn’t have mentioned the party to him, but I'm so used to having him in my life, I didn’t expect him to travel, just to see me. I didn’t want to do this to Y/N; she must be thinking horrible things about me—part of which are true—but before heading to Seoul, I wanted to talk to her and clear things up, not this mess that just happened. When she left my apartment that day, I spent hours in my room, echoing her words in my head.
I’m a proud person. I don’t like being wrong, and when I am, it’s hard for me to stop, breathe, and ask for forgiveness. However, that same day, I knew I needed to do it. I knew I needed to talk to Y/N and resolve everything before it was too late. Contrary to what she says, I really do like her. She makes me feel good, makes me happy... whenever I’m with her, I don’t think about anything else. My world, filled with problems and worries, becomes a world that is only hers. I wanted to say this to her, but I'm so confused about Namjoon that I'm afraid to make the situation worse and regret it even more.
As I approach the house, I see him among my friends, leaning against the wall. He seems unfazed by the grim situation, but I know he is bothered. I’ve known him for years, and I know he liked everyone before all the shit hit the fan, throwing our dreams and what we built together, in the trash. He smiles at me when he sees me, and I can’t reciprocate in the same way. The pride I once felt being with him, no longer exist.
“Is everything okay?” I ask when I reach Namjoon. He shrugs and shows me a red cup with a clear drink. It looks like water, but I'm pretty sure it isn’t.
“I’ve been better.” He explains in a slurred voice, watching Taehyung and Yoori kissing in the corner. It used to be the two of us, the lovey-dovey couple. “Is everything okay? You were with that girl for a good while.”
“I needed to talk to her.” I say honestly, feeling anxious; it’s like I’m doing something wrong when I know I’m not.
“She seems important... the way you looked at her...” He suggests, but it doesn’t seem serious. It’s as if he’s saying all this, but knows there’s no possibility of any involvement. Y/N isn’t the type of person I would have approached with interest, in the past, and Namjoon knows that.
“She is important.” I confirm, trying to stay relaxed. Namjoon bites his lip and looks at me with an expression I can't decipher.
“You’re joking, right?” He asks; his jaw tightens, waiting for a response.
“I’m not.” I shake my head; my heart pounding almost as loud as the music. “We had a connection, and she’s important to me, that's why we talked.”
“Wow.” Namjoon scoffs, drinking more of his drink. He rolls his eyes ironically, and then sighs. “You really bounce back quickly.”
“What did you expect me to do? Wait for you?”
“No, just that you’d wait until everything could align.”
“You didn’t wait, Namjoon.” My throat burns with my growl. How can he be so hypocritical? “You ended everything. You slept with that guy from your work when we were about to move in together.”
“I made a mistake. You needed one mistake to end everything.” He replies.
“I needed one mistake to realize you weren’t the right person for me.” I say, clarifying the fact for both him and me. “Love doesn’t hurt, doesn’t deceive. What you did... you just ruined everything. What are you really doing here?”
“I thought I was welcome in your life.” He argues, and it’s the first time I see pain and regret in his eyes. He steps closer to me, his short breaths hitting my face. Him being taller than me never bothered me, but now it feels like he’s a tower over me. A mountain. “I thought you still loved me.”
“I loved the person I thought you were.” I say, closing my eyes. My throat tightens and my chest feels heavy. All the good moments we had together flash in my mind. The first time I saw him, the first time we made love. The first time I said I loved him, scared that he wouldn’t feel the same, and Namjoon reciprocated, exceeding all my expectations. All of that no longer exists. The Jungkook who was crazy about him, who admired him, is just a shadow of who I am now. I loved him so much that I almost overlooked his betrayal for us to be together. I no longer see a future for us, I see nothing but emptiness.
“I made a mistake once, Jungkook. Just once.” He says with a slurred tongue. He looks drunk and sad. A bad combination.
“Namjoon, that’s enough. This is serious now. I want this to end. Go back to Seoul. Stay in your apartment. You need to forget me and move on. We’re not good for each other.”
“We can fix all this. We can move on together.”
“We can’t, because I’ve already made my decision. You no longer fit in my life.” I’ve never been so decisive as I am now. I remember, in the back of my mind, the way I feel every time I see Y/N; none of this feels right.What he did is unforgivable, and I could never trust him again. It just seems wrong. His dark eyes fill with tears, and he takes another step closer to me. His scent mixed with alcohol is still good, but doesn't draw me like three months ago.
“I can show you that you still want me. That I still have you.” He whispers, and even though I don’t want to, I close my eyes to welcome him. For the last time. Just this once, and then everything will be over.
His mouth crashes against mine with ferocity. He seems to show through his actions that he’s regretful, and I can feel it, but it’s not enough. In the midst of the kiss, I take everything from him. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him against me. Namjoon is mine, for the last time. All these years together, I thought it would be forever, but we can’t be anymore. His tongue meets mine in a wildness I recognize. I grunt between his lips as I feel his hand on my back, so forcefully that it’s as if he wants to merge with me. The kiss is sexual, but devoid of feeling. Y/N echoes in my head once again, from when we kissed in your room while her mom was knocking on the door. When our lips met, I felt so much more than just physical contact or her touch. It’s then that I realize it’s not worth it. All the suffering has passed, and I don’t need this anymore. I abruptly pull away from him. Our heavy, quick breaths mix as I stare into his eyes. He tries to get closer again, but I don't allow it. I push him away with my hands, trembling, anxious and sad.
“It’s over.” I whisper. His face contorts as if I’ve punched him. I feel sorry for him, but I can’t deceive us anymore. “It’s over. That was the last time we kissed. The last time you touched me. I didn’t end our relationship. You did.” I conclude; my voice comes out hoarse and in a grunt from deep in my throat. There’s no anger, no resentment towards him. Namjoon doesn’t respond, completely silent, and how could he?
I cover my face with my hands, and let out a sigh mixed with relief and anguish, escaping my soul. When I turn around, my eyes unconsciously go to the woman who, since I met her, changed something within me. Her eyes, however, are filled with tears; her cheeks flushed as if she’s holding back an impending cry. Only then do I realize that Y/N must have seen the kiss with Namjoon, and I can’t imagine what she must be thinking. Before I can react, she turns her back and walks away from the crowded room.
“Y/N!” I shout through the people, but my voice sounds low amidst the music. I move instinctively and hurry after her. Her body almost disappears down the hallway, but I run faster, pushing past two guys who look like they want to kill me, and a girl, who yells at me for bumping into her. None of this stops me until I manage to catch her by the arm. “Y/N, stop!”
“Let me go!” She twists her wrist, shaking her body so I’ll release her. I loosen my grip on her skin, afraid of hurting her, and she pulls away again, faster this time. She heads for the main door of the house and flings it open.
“I’m not letting you go!” I yell at her, walking faster as the facade of the house gets further away from us. “Y/N, listen to me!”
“Stop following me!” She screams at me; her usually sweet and soft voice sounds angry and hurt. I run faster until I can stand in front of her. I don’t touch her, but I don’t let her pass, using my body like a wall to block her path. “Let me through, Jungkook.”
“No.” I shake my head. Her face twists. Her nose crinkles, and her forehead furrows. I’m sure if she could hit me right now, she would.
“Let me through.” She pleads again, taking short steps that I once again block.
“No, not until you listen to me.” I say with such force that she flinches. Her angry, hardened face transforms into an ironic laugh, which fades as more tears fill her eyes. Her white, smooth neck is filled with veins, as if she’s about to burst with rage. Her breath comes fast, as if she doesn’t have enough air.
“You’re a fucking bastard, a total son of bitch. I don't want to listen anything.” She growls at me. It’s the first time I’ve seen her curse; it’s so strange that it feels like those words don’t belong to her. “How can you do this to me? Yo-You are... I don’t even have words to describe you!”
“I know! I know! I’m a fucking mess, do you think I don’t know that?”
“You’re a son of bitch!” She screams again at me, pushing against my chest. “I want to punch you right now! I want to hit you until you turn into someone Irrecognizable.” She pushes me again, but I hardly budge. Although she’s angry and furious with me, I’m much bigger and stronger than her. I remain silent, watching as the trapped tears begin to flow down her face. The face that so often had been lit up with joy when she was with me, now looks defeated.
“I know... Y/N, I know.” I respond in a whisper. I stop her from pushing me again, holding onto her fist. I imagined she would use her strength against me and pull away one more time, but she doesn’t. Her silent crying takes over her body, and her shoulders shake. The pain I feel seeing her this way, knowing that I caused it leaves me frozen, but my arms move before I can think, and I hug her.
Her face aligns against my neck, and her sobs grow deeper. I open my mouth to say something, to apologize for everything I’ve caused her, but the words stick in my throat, and a voice in my head tells me that even if I tell her how sorry I am, nothing changes what I did. I hurt her, regardless. Apologies, unfortunately, don’t help much in this case.
“I’m sorry.” I say, contradicting all my thoughts. Even knowing that words don’t help at all, I say again: “I’m really sorry. Forgive me, Y/N.” I plead, closing my eyes. I feel her arms wrap around my body, bringing me a pleasure I can't even describe. How long has it been since I felt that excitement from just a hug?
“Stop apologizing.” She asks, pulling away from me. In the place of her warm body, only coldness remains in mine, with her distance. “Why did you kiss him? Why did you say all those things to me and then kissed him?”
“Because I needed to.” I clarify. Y/N opens her mouth to say something, perhaps to curse me again, but I’m quicker. “It’s over. We are nothing more than strangers now."
“How come?”
“That was the last time we were together, after almost five years. After everything, I needed this ending. I realized he no longer fits me.” I say, and not feeling the sadness I felt before, just imagining such a situation, brings me hope. Hope that I won’t have to suffer for Namjoon anymore. That I won’t have to feel anguish and pain over him.
“I don’t... I don’t know what to say.” Y/N shrugs, wiping her wet, swollen face. “But I don’t take back what I said. You really are a bastard.”
“I know.” I agree, unable to deny any of her statements. “And I also know that I hurt you, but I want to fix what I did. I want to fix all the shit I made you go through.”
“I don’t want anything from you.” She presses her lips together; those red lips I love so much, that for a second, I get lost in thought. I miss kissing her. Talking to her. Observing the little wrinkle at the corner of her right eye, every time she laughs. Not when she smiles, but when she giggles heartily. I never thought this could happen so quickly, even after Namjoon, but my heart leaps just thinking about her. Thinking about our kisses.
“Y/N, I can finally fix what I did wrong. That day I was so confused. I told you I didn't want something serious, but I did. I was scared; I just didn't want to get hurt again.” I confess to her, recalling the memories of that morning, when I turned my back on her because I couldn't bear to look into her eyes, as she left my apartment.
“Do you really think I'm going to believe all of this? After everything you've done to me? You're being a damn liar, a manipulative jerk." she grunts; I can see the anger in her eyes, the disbelief radiating from her.
“Y/N, I needed that. To finally know what I wanted.”
“You needed a kiss? You're a joke. Seriously.”
“Believe me.” I plead, my voice a whisper. I lean closer to her, holding her face in my hands. Her cheeks are flushed from crying, from the turmoil of emotions. “I want you.”
“I won’t be your consolation prize.” She whispers back, furrowing her brows. Y/N seems so determined and strong, that it's like all my words means nothing to her.
“You’re not.”
“I won’t be your second option.” She repeats, grunting at me.
“You’re none of that.” I repeat, irritated that she even thinks that way. She tucks her hair behind her ear and looks away, as if she could be saved by someone amid the darkness of the neighborhood. When she finds no one else, she sighs, biting her lips hard.
"I wish you had said all of this earlier. How can I believe anything you say now?" she asks, and unfortunately, I have no answer for that question.
"I'm sorry again," I beg, defeated. "Y/N, can I take you home? Can we talk about this somewhere else?" I ask, a bit hesitant. I want her to understand that even though I made many mistakes, I'm willing to do anything to show her how important she is to me. Y/N shakes her head, however, breaking all my hopes.
"I can't be near you. Every time I'm close, I end up losing control." She says, and I completely understand what she means. Whenever we're alone, I feel an energy between us that draws us together like an invisible magnet. I smile, agreeing with her.
"I can't control myself when I'm with you, either," I respond earnestly, and her previously sad face lights up with embarrassment.
"Jungkook, stop," she pleads, almost through clenched teeth. Her cheeks are flushed now, thanks to my words.
"I'm telling the truth. Deal with it."
"I really need to go," she changes the subject, shaking her head. Then she sighs, looking at her fingers. "I... I’ll call a taxi." She turns her back to me, before I can react.
"What? What do you mean?" I follow her again, as she walks back to Yoongi's house. Y/N looks at me, as if mentally questioning what I'm doing so close to her, but I don't care.
"Jungkook, go back to your party," she commands, walking faster.
"I'm not letting you take a taxi home at this hour. Forget it." I shrug, annoyed. She may not want to listen to me or look at my face, but nothing will convince me to let her go with a stranger in the middle of the night.
"What does it have to do with you?" she questions without looking at me, and I have to walk faster to get in front of her again. Her irritated, mocking, and sarcastic expression fades, when I look her in the eyes.
"Stop talking like that. Do you really think I don't care about you?"
"You are a—"
"I’m a jerk. I know. I just asked if you really think I don't care about you. Do you really think I don’t want what’s best for you?"
"I don’t know," she replies, shrugging. "After tonight, I can't think about anything else," she argues, furrowing her brows. I step closer to her, taking a short step forward. Her perfume, different from Namjoon's, completely captivates me. It's as if everything about her is designed to drive me crazy.
"Y/N, let me take you. My car is over there, across the street," I whisper, locking my gaze with hers, noticing how her pupils dilate when she accidentally glances at my mouth.
"I don’t know," she repeats, as if she’s fighting something internally.
"I'll take you. We don’t have to say a word to each other. You get in the car and then get out when we reach your place," I conclude, hopeful. She pauses for a moment and sighs, looking at her fingers again. It seems she's contemplating my offer for a few seconds, still uncertain.
"Okay," she says softly, as if afraid of her own decision. Her voice, once filled with anger, now sounds neutral. If I could choose any superpower right now, it would definitely be the ability to read her mind.
I clear my throat, nodding, and slowly step back from her, wary that any sudden movement might make her change her mind. My car isn’t too far away, so we walk in silence for just a minute. Yoongi's house still seems lively, with people coming and going through the main gate. I take one last look at the place, mentally thanking myself for leaving the car key in my pocket, as I glance at Y/N without saying a word. She remains silent the whole time, while I quickly open her door and then mine. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice how she pulls on her seatbelt and looks at me for a moment, as if she’s examining me.
Even under her gaze, I don’t utter a single word. My whole body feels tense, alive, electric. I dare to contemplate her, the same way she does with me, taking in her from head to toe, from her Converse sneakers to her dress that’s much larger than her body, with a small slit opening on her left leg that, for God’s sake, reveals her smooth, soft skin –the same skin I had touched and taken everything from, just days ago. I clear my throat and start the car, reluctant to leave my spot.
A sudden rain starts to wet the windshield, and I thank the universe for, even if not intentionally, give me more time with this. The entire drive is a torture and, at the same time, a source of pleasure. I keep thinking to myself that if I can’t convince her, this might be one of the last times I ever see her before I go to Seoul. I savor everything about her: her scent, her presence, her calmness amidst so many storms, trying to imprint all these details in my mind. How did I get to this point? How could I be so confused about Namjoon when I’m clearly in love with her? Obsessed with everything she does?
When her house comes into view, I swallow hard, feeling my mouth dry. I want to say so many things, yet no words seem right. I look at her face, and almost immediately, she looks at me too. We both sit in silence, listening the rain and lost in thought. Then she smiles shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Thank you for bringing me," she says, looking down. "And I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have cursed at you. I shouldn’t have said all those things. I... Jungkook, I wanted to see you hurt, just like I felt, but I had no right. I was wrong for that. I want you to be happy. I want you to be loved, no matter who you’re with." She confess, and her eyes crinkle the way only hers do, calm and serene. I open my mouth to say something, to affirm she had every right over me, but she gets out of the car before I can tell her everything. "Goodbye." She whispers with a weak smile, giving me her back and entering before the rain makes her wetter.
I stay there for a moment, frozen, breathing heavily. I look at the door of her house, and then at my mother’s, thinking that, unlike my father, I’ve always considered myself brave. I’ve always seen myself as a confident person. With everything that has happened in my life, I have never taken a step back, and I have never let fear paralyze me or hold me back from anything. I get out my car hesitantly, but I don’t stop. I walk quickly to the short steps, and ring the doorbell, freezing with cold and the water. Y/N opens the door a second later, almost as if she was waiting for me on the other side. Her face illuminated by the yellow streetlight.
"Y/N, I don’t want you to leave my life," I declare breathlessly; my heart pounding so hard it feels like it’s about to jump out of my chest. "I have no right to say this and I don’t even deserve you to listen to me, but I want you to know that since the first time I saw you, at your bedroom window, everything about you caught my attention. The way you speak, the way you look at me, how you listen to everyone as if they all deserve your attention, how empathetic you are, and how simply good you are... I can’t stop thinking about you. I talk about you to my friends, to my mother. I miss you even when we haven’t seen each other for a short time... I don’t want this to end. Us. I don't want us to end." I laugh desperately, not even knowing what I am doing, filled with hope and moments of us together in my mind. I can literally feel my blood rushing through my body, pulsing strong like never before.
"Jungkook, you—" She tries to say, but I stop her by placing my hands on her cheeks. I lean in so close I can feel her breath on my face.
"I know I’m an idiot, but I’m so damn in love with you that I deserve a second chance, just to show you that I’m worthy of you, that I can make every day, from now on, the best day of your life." I whisper, gazing into her eyes. They widen in shock and surprise. Tears form in them, and one falls onto my thumb, on the apple of her cheek.
"I’m in love with you too," she confesses in a whisper, and I have to lean in closer to assure myself that I’m not dreaming. She smiles, as if she senses my confusion. "I’m in love with you too," she confirms, just for my ears.
And I can’t hold back any longer. I can’t anymore. It's when I kiss her, so intensely and suddenly, that it takes her a few seconds to respond. Her soft lips form a sweet smile against mine, and I can't help but chuckle too, happy, content, all at once. She places her hands on my face, tenderly, and then winks at me. Her eyelashes brushing against the tops of her cheeks because of the rain.
"Come in, I don't want you to get sick from the cold," she invites me, pulling me in. Then she kisses me one more time.
Thank God for this fucking rain.
Ask for a TAGLIST in the comments
@ane102 @joonwater @ttipa @kookienooki @missbangtangirl @kelsyx33 @minimoninini @myjungkookthighs @elivision
#bts#fanfic#jungkook#bts x reader#jungkook smut#bts x you#bts x oc#bts x y/n#bts x fem!reader#fluff#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x oc#jungkook x original character#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfiction#bts smut#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#fanfiction#smut#bts fluff#jungkook fluff#oc#bts reader insert#romance story#romance
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B.A.S.
Max Verstappen x Model!Reader
Summary : Max has a girlfriend, you have a boyfriend… guess you both ain’t shit
Currently playing : B.A.S by Megan Thee Stallion
Warning : toxic Max, toxic reader, toxic Daniel, everyone toxic (in a funny way), suggestive content, implied cheating (don’t cheat y’all),
this is so rushed but I couldn’t get the idea out of my head but I also have so much uni work to catch up on so here you go
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kellypiquet just posted
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kellypiquet still riding the high ☄️
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user1 what a race
user4 17th to 1st I know that’s right
user7 patiently waiting for the comment from y/n
— user8 why do y’all always bring her up
— user7 her and max are fucking and you can’t convince me otherwise
— user8 you guys are actually deranged
yourusername so proud of our boy 💙🤎
— user7 you see what I’m seeing @/user8
— user8 okay our boy is insane work
— user9 oh my god
— user10 these are fighting words
— user11 our boy?? OUR?? O-U-R?? Kelly and y/n sister wives confirmed??
— user17 Kelly I’ve never liked you but if you wanna deck her imma look the other way for 5 minutes
— user3 idgi she’s just being nice ???
— user4 being nice is saying well done… with this comment she may as well post a tape of her and max doing the devil’s dance in 69 different positions
— user5 now you know this just plain disrespectful 😭 😭
— user19 the girlies are fighting🤭🤭
— user21 ik max giggling and kicking his feet rn
danielricciardo so proud of our boy 💙🤎
— user7 now what you out here being messy for??
— user11 I know him and y/n are cackling to each other on FaceTime rn
— user15 not them tag teaming her… give her a min to get up 😭
— user25 danny pls spill the tea what do you know!
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yourusername brasil you’ve been so good to us, te amo 🇧🇷
tagged maxverstappen1, yourboyfriendsuser
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user5 the picture of you and max b4 the one of you and your man… can someone say messy
user6 te amo Brazil? Or te amo your boyfriend??? Or te amo Max????? like pls girl help us understand 😭
yourboyfriendsuser we need to come back for a baecation ♥️
— user7 lmao he’s fighting for his life 🤭 he rlly said let’s go back just us two
— user9 you just know he barely saw her all week
user12 I love toxic girls! Love to see women in male dominated fields fr fr
maxverstappen1 💙
— yourusername 🤎
— user7 naurrrrrrrr 😭 😭
— user8 Kelly Piquet found dead
— user12 okay but like actually what is going on??????? like genuinely??? does anyone know??
danielricciardo lmao
user27 after god fear women cause wtf is going on 😭
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yourusername some stills from the B.A.S music video, thanks for having me meg 💛💚
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theestallion I LOVE YOU! knew you’d be perfect 💛💚
— user8 you might as well have called her a trifling hoe
— user10 lmao a song about cheating and being toxic and you were just like I’ll call y/n, she’s perfect
user7 I don’t care that she’s a weirdo, your honour I love her!
— user16 the thing is I don’t think anyone actually dislikes her 😭 I think ppl are actually amused by her antics
— user14 keep in mind her antics are publically cheating on her boyfriend with a guy who has a partner and a step kid 😅😅😭
— user16 allegedly!
user28 me personally I would love to have a timeline of her and max’s situationship…. Cause like how do they even know eachother?
— user17 apparently she used to do karting??
— user24 yk childhood friends make so much sense as to why Kelly can’t get rid of her
maxverstappen1 😃😅
— user14 oh my god, this is basically confirmation right? RIGHT?!
— user12 max you may as well have commented yes we’re fucking
— user13 men are so stupid… cause y/n just pulled of the most amazing troll (is it still trolling if it’s true???) and now you wanna ruin it
user32 girl!!???? Oh my god!!?? I’m sorry??!! Like this deserves jail oh my god
— danielricciardo free my girl, she did it all but I support her!
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TAGLIST
@forevercaffeinated-lee
@callsignwidow
@a-beaverhausen
@emryb
@c0deincrazy
@dontworryaboutitokie
@c-losur3
@chuxk-lerclerk
@silkenthusiasts
@ietss
@sp1rl
@destinyg237
@aliorasspace
#f1 smau#formula 1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula one smau#max verstappen x black!reader#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fic#max verstappen imagine
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Bunch of DST headcanons for WX-78 cause I adore this automaton way too much and gotta ramble about them ⚙️🧡
Under Cut. Pretty long post there's honestly quite A LOT.
Never truly lost any of their memories from before they became an automaton, just suppresses them REALLY hard.
Massive cat person, one of the few living creatures they got a soft spot for. Too embarrassed to keep any though.
Absolutely can't cook for shit, really bad at it and barely tries. Tied with Willow for most kitchen fires.
Enjoys baked goods a lot! Got a bit of a sweet tooth. It's the real reason they love butter muffins so much.
Has two different types of laughs. One being a sarcastic very monotone “HA HA HA” they use just to mock others, and a genuine more “human” like chuckle they’ll make when they actually find something funny. The genuine one however also sounds really jank and glitchy though cause their voice wasn’t built for it.
Uses binary code as a second language of sorts. Switches to it when they wanna say something but don’t want the others to actually understand them. They also tend to switch to binary involuntary when they are either really excited or incredibly anxious.
Suffers from Talassophobia (fear of large bodies of water). They’re ironically fine with water itself, but are terrified of things like being in the ocean, and had this issue even back when they were still human. They are actually really good at hiding it though, unless they KNOW they are gonna fall in.
Was actually sent to The Constant back around when Maxwell was still on the throne. They ended up becoming a pawn and got the same treatment as all the others when they antagonized and pissed Maxwell off while he interrogated them.
They were never actually designed to do human like things such as eating or sleeping, nor should things like getting sick or healing from food/medicine be possible for them. They got no idea where these abilities came from and it WORRIES them. Blames it on The Constant’s weirdness to ease their mind.
They didn’t really have much of a family when they were human, which led them to grow a habit of labeling their fellow machines as family. They didn’t have a mom at all growing up, which is why they insist on viewing the science machine as their mom instead.
Back when they were human, they used to consider Wagstaff as their only real friend, which makes the betrayal hurt so much more.
Is the most fond of Winona out of the whole camp. She's the only one they will even slightly admit to care about, but would never say it out loud. (She can tell ❤️)
Also decently gets along with Willow and Wendy quite well. Willow cause of her destructive and chaotic nature, and Wendy due to her more downer look on life/living and being the most chill out of the children.
Ironically, their love language (as in how they SHOW love) is actually act of service. If they genuinely like/care about you enough they will be willing to tackle certain tasks for you (though they'll deny it and get a bit snappy if you even point it out).
Asexual, but not necessarily aromantic. They actually could feel romantic attraction in some rare situations, but they are very romance repulsed and will likely never act on those feelings even if they have em
#This is a lot but I LOVE to ramble#Love this robot <3#don't starve#dont starve#dontstarvetogether#dst#don't starve headcanons#dst headcanons#wx78#dst wx78#wx 78 dst
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Aite, female character and general inclusivity rant incoming. Hate it and want to make a post? Sure. But give me the respect I gave those who inspired this and don’t tag me in it:
People immediately bringing the ‘female character’ argument into things drives me insane. Like we know she’s a female character, but trust me, that’s got very little to do with why people dislike her.
Are some people misogynistic? Absolutely!
Are most people misogynistic? No.
When we talk about Galadriel, and Luthien, and Elwing, and Aredhel, and Nimloth, and Melian, and Nerdanel, and Ahsoka, and Padme, and *insert literally any female character from any fandom here*, being female has nothing to do with it. It barely crosses our minds.
So for the love of all that is good, stop bringing ‘but she’s a female character! Anyone who sees her as anything but perfect, or thinks the male characters made better choices than her is obviously horrible and misogynistic and would never do this to a man :(‘ Into arguments.
I don’t care how few there are in the work. You can explain why you like her without blaming people for hating on the fact she’s female when 95% don’t. There are very literally hundreds of other reasons people interpret fictional events which portray the fem char negatively.
Especially in work like the Silm which is written by a canonical in-universe historian with basic backstory. We have every right to see him as unreliable and play with what that could mean. Doesn’t make it misogynistic if we want to see female characters as more shifty than they’re outwardly portrayed. Many of us often do the same with male characters, and even if we don’t, you have no right to judge someone so harshly when you barely know a thing about them outside an online persona. 99.9% of people don’t even consider male vs female when they write these things. And it’s not because of some weird subconscious misogyny either.
This is mainly aimed at those who bring this up over. And over. And over again in some weird attempt at guilt tripping people into ‘liking’ characters.
On the topic of things people do that make no sense, if characters are stated as being white, and an artist draws them all white. You have no right to say they’re being racist or whatever else you want to come up with.
Nor do you have the right to slander anyone who casually points out the character is white if others draw them as anything else. If we can call out whitewashing, we can talk about the opposite too. As long as the person isn’t being outright rude, have a conversation.
And don’t get me started on tagging pieces of fanart and fics specifically created platonic with a ship. Like the work? Great! Now respect the intentions of the person who created it.
No one in a fandom space, especially artists and writers, owes inclusivity of any kind when running off canon source material. You want to blame someone for a boring cast, blame the author! But even in general? You don’t get to force or guilt others to create content - original work included - that fits your ideal.
Yes I’m a writer and artist of original and fan content. Yes I’ve experienced all of these directly or indirectly.
Sincerely, a young brown woman tired of all the double standards.
#silmarillion#lord of the rings#tolkien#Star Wars#tcw#marvel#sorrynotsorry bout the rant#the guilt tripping is insane#fgs if you’d call out someone for whitewashing I’m sorry they have every right to ask if you make canonically white characters brown#or black or Asian or whatever#it’s not racist to say ‘this character isn’t canonically x’ ok?#I’m not talking about people who are outwardly disrespectful but wow some comments I see really make me wonder#don’t even get me started on shipping#it’s much better now but wow people gotta *chill*#should I tag characters?#sure let’s do the main ones I’m thinking of#Elwing#Ahsoka#padme#wanda maximoff#Melian#Fingon#finrod#Maedhros#silm#rant#I am once again sick and apparently that lowers my tolerance for people straight up not understanding what they’re talking about#or weaponising a sensitive topic to stop people arguing against them#omg how could I forget#luthien
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I. Got. A. Dog!!!!!!
#specifically a puppy named nona#also look at me with a personal post#it’s like personal post? I barely know her#yes non after locked tomb nona#but also I keep calling her Strega nona so
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as a huge unreliable narrator enjoyer i love the fact that the raven tower is narrated by someone who cannot lie. so the narration is not unreliable, and any kind of uncertainty is always couched in "here is a story i have heard" or "i imagine", but it scratches the same itch as unreliable narration because the evidentiality of the narration is still so central, just in the opposite way. stories that don't care about where the narrator is getting their information or what biases are present in the way that information is shared with us are on one end of a spectrum, and stories that do care about those things are on the other end, and the raven tower is firmly situated alongside the unreliably narrated stories even though the whole point is that the narrator is as motivated as it is possible to be to never say something that is untrue. and it's fascinating to see how ann leckie manages to build suspense and subvert expectations without really at any point deliberately misleading the reader. every time i reread one of her books, the bouncing of the dvd screensaver in my brain gets a little more frenetic. how does she do what she does. ann leckie what is your secret.
#this post is spoiler-free btw. the narrator is very upfront about the fact that it can't lie and says this very early in the story#i'm only like 40% through my reread and i don't remember any details of what happens but i'm already losing it#and the fact that it's first-person second-person narration...completely undivorceable from the conceit of the book#might write a different post about that but probably only after i finish rereading#i finally got my sister to agree to read it and she's like 'i read the first fifteen pages! i like the style'#and i'm barely restraining myself from being like girl please read another fifty pages and get back to me#if you are not frothing at the mouth by page 100 then your money back. guaranteed.#my sister loves semantics like the linguistic subfield of semantics so i've been begging her to read this for so many years...#like i KNOW she will love it when that stuff starts becoming apparent. which is remarkably early in the book#hrrrrhughghrhrrgh i want to talk about it so bad#the raven tower#ann leckie#my posts#unreliable narrators#or not!!! actually!!!#storytelling#semantics#f
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you know when you keep thinking of a scene and cant move on until you at least hastily scribble it? yeah.
(technically skyward sword comic (destiny) concept art but i dont expect anyone to make sense of this mess lol .. its a scene from the third and last part of the story, blue thing is a horribly rough version of hylias true form)
#ganondoodles#zelda#art#tloz#loz#demise#hylia#doodles#yeah i hesitate to tag it properly#bc what the hell is this#but also i dont want to spend even longer on this#scribbled it like a madman to get it out of my head lol#might hurt my image as an artist as this is barely readable but you know#its gonna sit around in my folder and collect dust so why not post it#might be theres one person who likes it around here somewhere so here goes#also if you are worried yeah hes trying to kill her but cant bring himself to do it#they will hug and cry and be fine uwu#....for now
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something about Maurice(1987) and how it made me realize i do not want to spend my life alone and that i do in fact crave deeper more emotional bonds with those around me, the type of bond that blurs the lines of platonic and romantic like i want to know who I'm spending time with. some homoeroticism bullshit yknow?
and something about Sherlock Holmes(specifically Elementary) that made me realize I'm actually aro-ace and that I've been repressing those feelings. and more so that i really really want a QPR, someone to go crazy for in a platonic way yknow? someone who just gets me yeah?
#OH GOD why cant i just tell my crush what im feeling as well#like UGH i barely skirted the line of telling her how i felt when i told her about Maurice last night#she agreed that she longs for things but she dosent know why or what#while im here like 🧍♀️#because that whole time i was talking about her the person i want to travel with is her#the person i want to spend the rest of my life with is HER#and to see her talk about how she also longs like i do#and that she actually gets the way im feeling#OH GOD my whole situation makes me believe there is a person for everyone#and this is my person#however i just havent told her that i feel like that#and thats so frustrating UGH#but its fine#i think i will this next hang out we go on lol#forgot i had this up on my computer#so i'm posting it now#aro flux#ace flux#love is love#lesbian#nonbinary#queer love#maurice 1987#cbs elementary
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girls being nice to me gets me higher than ecstasy ever could
#SORRY for the corny post but this is how i truly feel not waxing poetic here like literally it does#i just met the cool girl i keep talking about & IT WAS SÅ FREAKEING ÅSUM ^_^_^_^_^_^ YAY#HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY#OK sorry for screaming But i really am very excited...#turns out she is autistic & we discussed our neuroses while eating & ugh she is just as cool as i thought she was#always tell people you think have Swag that you noticed it on them see how it worked for me#i was so scared of spilling my spaghettis but turns out that was exactly what i needed to do to be friends ^_^ YAY#we went to a lot of different libraries together & i got a small old eyeless bunny plush from the event we went to caus i felt bad for it#i even showed her my pony art & i told her about my cringe interest (that music event i like...♯RealOnesKnow )#& she thought it was COOL.& i felt like it was really genuine & she talked about reading BL LOL we discussed fujos together#we even talked about finding moids ugly#it was so awesome she was so cool & Nice To Me... i feel like i am on CUMULONIMBUS ( cloud 9 ) ^_^_^_^_^_^#talking to her in person was so much better than online OMG now i wish i really was friends with you muties IRL#i wish you a Girl Friend experience just like this to those who post about wanting them i really do#also the reason why i even like my Music Event so much is because the first time i watched it was with a bunch of women#& i had so much fun & they were so nice to me i keep returning & now that Event means so much to me & I LOVE IT sorry (NOT)#i know this sounds like tumblrina fiction i would not believe it either IDK what to say to make it sound legitimate 0_0 like it is so crazy#to me as well IDK i can barely get over it & IDK if i really want to so um well YAY ^_^ AIMU SO HEPI :DDD
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Do we know Miles's or any of the AM members' opinions on the genocide in Gaza? Like I love them to death, but the lack of response has reaaally been bothering me. Not to mention the amount of privilege in not carrying about politics *looking at you, Alex*. I've seen Louise being pro-Israel.
OHHHHH anon i've been WAITING to talk about this. thank you for the question.
the answer is no we don't. to my knowledge, none of the members have openly talked about it. there has been no story on their official instagram, nor has matt (the only one with a public profile) posted anything about it on his account. not only that, but i did some research and apparently that benefit concert that him, tyler parkford and josh homme took part in also hosted people like jesse hughes and sarah silverman who are more or less openly pro-israel. which doesn't mean *matt* is, it just means he's not careful who he's associating himself and his image with.
the others have stayed silent. and miles, too - who's so active on social media - has never even reposted anything about it. not a word.
about the girlfriends, louise (and amanda) have spoken about "wanting peace" and louise especially has reposted some stupid ass posts a few months ago basically saying it's not "childish" to just wish peace for everyone - proving that she literally knows nothing about what has been happening for DECADES. both her and amanda have repeatedly proven they're centrists, which is just so. yikes.
the only one among all of them who has openly and almost immediately asked for a ceasefire is katie.
i've seen some people argue that the royal albert hall proceeds have gone to the war child association, but honestly - that's not enough. that was before, and even though knowing that is better than nothing, something they did in the past doesn't justify their lack of a statement on the genocide in the present. the fact that they're not even active on social media - just because they're too lazy to get someone to properly manage their account - isn't an excuse for staying silent.
whether they like it or not, they're celebrities. they have a platform they could use and they repeatedly choose not to use it. i love them but for the past few months i've been beyond disappointed in them.
#and then i see people on here shitting on other celebrities with bigger platforms for their lack of a statement#just because you have a weird personal vendetta against people like taylor swift and others (also their gfs)>#> doesn't mean our favs are looking any better. i'm hugely disappointed in her and all the other celebrities who have stayed silent#and i'm just as upsed with am. they're not an indie unknown band. they have 7.6 MILLION followers on ig#using their platform could actually do something#just bc they have a 'smaller' platform than other bigger celebrities doesn't mean they don't have one#they actually have SUCH a big platform#dan and phil did a stream and raised so much money and they have an even smaller platform can you imagine how much am could raise#or even simply do the bare minimum and post something to show where they stand. TALK about it. but they simply choose not to#and yeah they could be donating in private. we don't know. and that's exactly it. their silence makes us question them#and also. why is it that people on here only hold accountable for their silence the celebrities they don't personally like#but stay conveniently silent on am's and miles' lack of a statement? do i once again smell double standards?#again i love them as much as the next person but i will ALWAYS hold them accountable for their actions (or lack thereof)#answered
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anyway it's almost cny and I should be writing hsr fic for it. so someone please tell me why my brain is assaulting me with a mfing gaara fic idea
#i literally know nothing about his character past chuunin exams and barely paid attention to that cuz i was multitasking#but: something something you're the first person that physically touches his skin instead of the sand#since whoever that caretaker was idr her name#also i think id pair him with a STUPID as hell reader#like not scared of him because they have zero self preservation#please not me movinf blogs and still nart posting 😭#yueshuo
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Besides Danmarch (and low key FeiQiu?), what other Honkai Star Rail ships do you like?
not many honestly!!! danmarch is my fav i love their silly banter....yanli is my new second fav HEHHEHEHEHEHE you cant give me two cute kids who have so much in common and yet end up as childish bickering rivals anyway and then their mentors forcing them into the get-along-tshirt (metaphorically) and expect me not to love them instantly heheeee
#more rambling from me below but#i dont have any stelle ships yet#she just seems so incredibly lowkey#shes just chilling like the cool cousin. i think i like her better as this blank-faced dumb chill person#i know hsr was trying to push the firefly agenda but i just...cannot stand her ass lmao i know its probably an unpopular opinion#i hate when games only give you a really short ass time to befriend a character and then all of a sudden its like (you care very much)#(her death fills you with rage) like i barely know her???#when everyone was like (im so sorry about firefly i know you were close...)#and im like uhh i mean not really i knew her for like 30mins but sure#if they did the firefly death with march??? or dan heng??? or himeko ???? then i can see stelle being MAD MAD BRO#but this new random person.....nah#anyway. ignore my ramblings i wish games put more effort into relationship development lol#if you like firefly thats cool. i get it#i just cannot get on board with her#ironically thought SAM was cool as hell and the reveal really did surprise me. kudos to not being predictable#but for me it was like that post where its like#character keeps mask/helmet on: !!! <33333#character takes mask/helmet off: :/
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man... rhoam's "redemption" in aoc really sucked, huh?
like botw SHOWED us, several times, how much pressure rhoam put on zelda to unlock her powers, despite her telling him, several times, that it wasn't working. he got angry and banned her from doing not only something she saw as useful, but something that she was clearly very interested in and passionate about because she "wasn't dedicating enough time to her prayers." yes, his diary expresses regret for it, but at the end of the day, if zelda saw that it wouldn't mean much to her. the actions rhoam took, and the way zelda grew up under so much pressure that she nearly died as a child in one of the springs (this is in urbosa's diary, iirc) mean so much more than his regrets and his intentions. it took him nearly 10 years to realize that he fucked up, and by that point it was too late. the calamity had returned, and rhoam had lost any chance he had at making things right with zelda.
meanwhile, in aoc, all that's there is some half-hearted scene in the temple of time that's supposed to make everything better? yes, aoc had a very different and arguably better outcome than the calamity that led to botw, but the damage was still done by rhoam. it's still the same hurts and abuse and trauma that he put his daughter through all because of the prophesized calamity.
#legend of zelda#breath of the wild#hyrule warriors age of calamity#sorry i just. i don't know what nintendo meant to do with rhoam#i guess they were trying to make him into a guy who did bad things for a good reason but still#i think the action matters more than the reason because the action is what impacts others the most#when someone is hurting and they lash out what people remember most is them lashing out#that scene in aoc really felt kinda empty and half-hearted (even kohga crying during the scene kinda felt forced)#yeah i guess they were trying to make him into a stern father who we were meant to sympathize with because he didn't want to do#what he had to do. but it kinda... fell flat?#i don't think he was a good king either. he wasn't a tyrant for sure but also what kinda king puts the fate of his entire kingdom#on the back of like 6 people. 4 of whom are considered kids or young adults by their society's standards#(urbosa also mentions this in her diary and she hates that she and daruk are the only seasoned warriors of the champions)#(her diary is full of worldbuilding gems because of her relationship with zelda and its worth a read if you have the DLC)#don't think i forgot about link in all of this either. he was like 12 when he pulled the master sword and he wasn't much older than zelda#if he was older at all. and he was already a knight as a teenager. he was a child soldier who rhoam personally appointed#because he was able to wield the master sword#and maybe revali has a point there. maybe he didn't deserve any of it but not in the way that revali thinks#i don't think that's a writing mistake. revali is a very flawed character and he's young and brash and impulsive. he's very harsh on link#because he thinks he's being overlooked for his skills while link gets all of the pomp for doing the bare minimum#which isn't true but there's also not really anyone proving otherwise to him. link himself doesn't talk a lot#BUT I DIGRESS this post is about rhoam not link and revali#yes i have sat on this for 3 and a half years. what of it#i think rhoam could have had a redemption if he didn't like. deliberately lie to link at the beginning of botw. several times.#like.... these are flawed characters and it would take a LOT for rhoam to shift his world view like that#if he had come to the conclusion he did earlier and listened to zelda maybe things would have been a bit different#but he didn't. he missed his chance to speak with his daughter and tbh the fact that it took him about 10 years to realize this#says a lot about his character i think#post brought to you by the copious amounts of hades i've been playing (zagreus and zelda are an interesting point of comparison in my mind)#(like yeah rhoam and hades are two completely different parents but they both had similar outcomes with their children)
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