#it’s like a distant best friend who I’ve had for ages but in reality I’ve only known this game for a year

[squuote]

I genuinely enjoy how much the ultra deluxe feels like being acquainted with an old friend after a long time. like as someone who never played or got into the original game back when it first came out, the fact that the ultra deluxe still feels like meeting someone again after a long time is so guy wrenchingly sweet and fun. the way the narrator reminisces about the original game and all the good times we’ve had. even if I didn’t know you at all, we can still enjoy things as if there were old times.

[katnissmellarkkk]

another thing about twilight. why is it that bella never ever seems to care that the cullens — imo carlisle especially — only care about her literally because they love edward? like of course that is majority of in-law situations in life, like i know that. but bella is like “this is my family! this is where i belong and who i belong with!” and then they all just up and leave her the moment edward tells them to. carlisle especially only seems to care about her imo (beyond the fact that he cares for all human lives) because he cares about edward. idk i would feel some kind of way about the cullens if they literally took me in and then dropped me like a hot potato based off whatever edward felt on any given day.

in a way alice is better and in a way she’s worse on this front. like okay, she and bella are best friends, that much is true. one of the things i will give stephenie meyers (because she’s nowhere near as bad as people claim. stephen king has no business criticizing her when his stories are some of the worst i’ve ever encountered) is she does create and develop actual believable friendships and relationships. bella and alice are very close and lovey dovey. but that makes it worse imo when alice abandons her alongside edward. because her friendship with bella is literally contingent on edward.

but at the same time she does have an actual relationship with bella and you get that she wanted what edward thought was best for bella’s life and she loves her and her heart is in the right place and all that good stuff. but idk. for me, if i were in that situation, i wouldn’t have taken the cullens in as warmly again in eclipse. like bella is all like “my family! we’re all together again!” when in reality i, and i think anyone with enough self-esteem, would be much colder to them. more distant and less open. because even if she’s taken edward back — because really his side of the leaving fiasco is actually more understandable than the entire family’s ditching her and then wanting to act like nothing ever happened seven months later — his family still proved that she’s merely an extension of edward to them. they’re a family, they’ve been a family for around 75-100 years. they’ve been together, functioning as a family unit town to town since before her grandparents were born. like she’s just a modern teenage girl who the one unmarried brother fell in love with and brought along for the ride. like they all abandoned her and had the whole thing with edward/alice/cliff diving/volturi not occurred then the entire family would have just never contacted her again in her life. idk. i get the impression more so from carlisle than any of the others but bella’s whole open heart, open arms thing is sadly pathetic. because she’s clinging to a family that could take or leave her at a moment’s notice.

and honestly some lots may disagree but i do highkey appreciate the fact that stephenie meyers tried to rectify a lot of people’s criticisms with bella, in midnight sun. like she tried to retroactively make it seem like a lot of the “bella is a parentified child and she’s so mature because she doesn’t mind it at all” “bella takes care of her parents because she’s old for her age” was just a first person character blindness on bella’s part and it was actually really messed up in edward’s eyes the way her parents treated her and how it shaped her personality. but personally i wish SM would have included edward realizing bella has a really low self-esteem and that’s why she takes whatever kind of love people offer her without complaint and resentment even after they’ve done her dirty, not because “the cullens are so amazing” and “i’m so lucky to belong with them!”

[gimmehyuck]

lungs like a garden series

✿ series synopsis.

hanahaki.

the disease everyone has heard of.

the one that doctors only know how to treat by one surgery or one returned confession.

no other cure.

everyone has heard of it. but what’s less spoken of… is how it feels to simultaneously be both in love and in pain.

the question is in the end… will it always be worth it?

✿ genres. strangers to lovers // friends to lovers // enemies to lovers // friends to lovers

✿ warnings. angst // fluff // possible? smut? // mentions of dying/death // sickness // vomiting (of flowers) // tags will be more detailed for each story, these are the general ones for all // synopsis of each story may change/evolve as i continue to write them lol

✿ something to note: each story is connected but can be read alone!

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✿ to drown in you | n.jm (coming soon)

“i’m… i’m scared.”

“don’t worry, i’ve got you. nothing will happen if i’m here.”

✿ summary. jaemin didn’t think twice about diving in to the water to save you, you needed his help (but couldn’t ask).

he also didn’t think twice about the befriending you and helping you out of a tough situation, you wanted his help (but wouldn’t ask).

and he definitely didn’t think twice about falling in love with you, he didn’t need any help in doing so (but he should’ve asked, it would have made things easier).

✿ pairing. swimmer!jaemin x yn

✿ words. est 10k+

✿ genre. strangers to lovers… or is it?

✿ warnings. angst!!!, fluff!!!, mentions of dying/death, vomiting (of flowers), yn is in a toxic relationship at the beginning, eventual smut, more to come as i write

✿ patient progress: symptomatic

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✿ denialism at its finest | l.jn

“i don’t think falling in love is all that bad.”

“i do, and i refuse to do it.”

✿ summary. there were a lot of things that jeno was sure of. for example, he was sure that his schools hockey team would win the championship (not just because he was the captain). he was sure that he had a job to go to once he graduated (that he’d absolutely hate because it had nothing to do with his major). lastly, he was absolutely sure that he’d never fall in love, and he definitely wasn’t in love with you…

(reality hit him at the same time the petals hit his palm.)

✿ pairing. hockey player!jeno x yn

✿ words. tbd

✿ genre. maybe friends to ???

✿ warnings. angst, fluff, jeno is generally in denial, mentions of dying/death, mentions of vomiting (of flowers), divorced parents?? if that needs to be warned, more to come as i write

✿ patient progress: symptomatic

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✿ distance between us | l.ty

“what didn’t you realize until now?”

“how much it hurts to love you.”

✿ summary. taeyong was oblivious, he had to be (or so you thought). there was simply no way he had to know how you felt about him (could he..?). and for a long while, you were content feeling the butterflies in the pit of your stomach (the feeling made you giddy). but then the butterflies changed into petals… and the petals changed the meaning of it entirely (the feeling made you sick).

your innocent crush, what you thought were simple feelings… it had changed somehow.

(and it hurt.)

✿ pairing. brothers best friend?taeyong x yn

✿ words. tbd

✿ genre. friends to ???

✿ warnings. fluff?, angst!!, minor age gap (not by much), taeyong is a bit… what’s the word… he leads yn on kinda?, vomiting (of flowers), mentions of blood (it’s roses what do you expect), more to come as i write

✿ patient progress: symptomatic

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✿ biology of love | q.kn

“why do you push people away like that? it’s cruel.”

“what’s truly cruel is when they leave.”

✿ summary. kun knew how to be friendly, he swore he did (you can ask anyone). he was friendly to everyone who worked on his floor, (maybe a little distant but never unkind). he was well liked but his friend circle was limited, (he didn’t mind that). until you came along, someone who seemed to hate his very existence; you were the new doctor on the floor, he had been a nurse working there for two years (seniority counts somehow, right?).

he truly didn’t care if you had friends or not, or if you were just always miserable, he couldn’t care less… (but then why did seeing you slowly getting sick bother him?)

✿ pairing. nurse!kun x doctor!yn

✿ words. tbd

✿ genre. enemies to lovers… possibly?

✿ warnings. angst, fluff, age gap (a bit more than a couple years), mentions of death/dying, mentions of vomiting (of flowers), discussions of what comes next and the existential crisis that follows, yn is Cold because Sad (that she says is ambition)™, possible? smut?, more to come as i write

✿ patient progress: symptomatic

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✿ falling for the sun (you) | l.dh

“why are you acting this way?”

“i’ve realized i’m like icarus. i’ve loved the sun’s warmth so much, but now it’s only killing me.”

✿ summary. you can pinpoint the moment you wanted to study psychology as a career to the moment you walked into your high school class (thanks to your best friend that agreed to go to the same university as you). you can pinpoint the moment your life’s trajectory changed to the exact moment you met lee donghyuck, (you blamed it entirely on mark). you can even pinpoint where your major mistake in all this started (it was the moment you moved in).

what you couldn’t pinpoint, no matter how hard you tried, was the moment you officially fell in love with him (you only really found out after the first yellow petal appeared… and then you knew you were fucked).

✿ pairing. roommate!donghyuck x yn

✿ words. tbd

✿ genre. best friend/roommates to ???

✿ warnings. angst!!!, fluff!!!, hyuck and yn argue a bit, hyuck is kind of a player??, mentions of death/dying, mentions of vomiting (of flowers), mentions of blood and choking (sunflowers are huge okay), eventual smut, more to come as i write

✿ patient progress: symptomatic

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tag list: @byungbyungbaek @ficrecnctskz @shwizhies

[lavrents]

(jacob anderson, 31, he/him, cis man, fournier #3)  I wonder how the season will treat LAURENT FOURNIER. It’s true that HE is CONSIDERATE, but I’ve also heard that they can be RESERVED. Do you think they’ll find their match? I doubt it if what I heard is true. I heard that [REDACTED] Of course, that’s just speculation. (ooc penny, 25, gmt, she/her, none).

full name:  laurent rené fournier. nickname(s): laurie. birthday: february 19th. gender / pronouns:  cis man ,  he / him. orientation:  bisexual / biromantic. personality: kind hearted, sensitive, nurturing & distant. languages spoken: french, english. good latin. passable spanish, italian & ancient greek. relationship status:  single ; unbetrothed. distinctive features: french-tinged accent, constant fidgeting. build: slim.

( tw ; death, grief, loss. )

second born child to the fourniers, laurent too did not take after his mother. at least, not in the visual arts. his musical talent, undeniable from a young age, is a very closely held secret. he is not ashamed of it at all -- rather proud of it, in fact -- but unlike his mother, despises the spotlight. violin and pianoforte are his favourites ( the former his best instrument ) but he has turned his hand to any instrument crossing his lap.

the loss of the fournier matriarch had a profound impact on young laurent. until that point he had been a perfectly cheery and rambunctious lad, but withdrew after her death and seemingly never fully returned to himself.

laurent was an exemplary student. not exceptional, but well-behaved and perfectly keen to learn. he attended eton, then, seizing the opportunity to return to his home country, attended the university of paris to study the humanities and law. he has sustained interests in literature, politics and history his whole life. it is rare to find laurent without a book seemingly glued to his hands.

the experience studying abroad brought him back to england almost immediately ; laurent has always been highly family-oriented and missed his siblings more than he could have conceived while he was away.

being shy, he never has been the biggest fan of the season or the sometimes overwhelming nature of the ton. he would much refer to remain in the countryside all year, outstretched in fields or all curled up by the fire reading. but, given the family financial situation, he dutifully attends and sometimes even has a good time.

would love nothing more than to gain a true love match ; a real hopeless romantic who wears his heart on his sleeve. probably a result of all of the stories he reads. but, he tries to keep in mind the reality of the situation -- that he may have to settle for someone he can tolerate.

pinterest board. wanted connections.

childhood friend (s) -- the first he made in england as a boy would be cute. school friends. best friend(s). sibling-like friendships. neighbours. acquaintances. the extrovert who has adopted him to get him out more hbh. fellow history / reading etc enthusiasts. past relationship -- good / bad ending terms. crush ( either way, or mutual. ) i would love to plot literally any / everything !

[productofmyancestors]

Posting into the Tumblr cyberspace this week as a final practice of letting go. I don’t know anyone here, I’m free:

God, girlhood, family and community are the sole reasons that I’ve stayed alive these past few months. The weight of heartbreak and taking responsibility for your mistakes can be incredibly heavy.

But I have built such a beautiful and sacred community in a short period of time. I live in a very underrated city that is so vibrant, communal and fun. I go out and meet some of the kindest, most genuine people. It’s nothing like the city I moved from. People legit want to be friends and invite you places. There’s a huge house community, too, and it’s been so fun getting to know people and building The Black Girl House. I’ve made friends with djs in NYC, too.

I’ve connected and rebuilt relationships with old friends from middle school. I’ve gone to church consistently and made friends who remind me of God’s presence every single day.

I’ve gotten to know myself as a fully independent woman and she’s so lovely. I’ve gone to concerts alone, eaten alone, seen movies alone. And I’ve always planned to do these things alone. I actually love spending time alone. But doing them in the midst of heartache puts a new meaning on it. Bursting into tears in the middle of the cafe and talking to a random old man about how much my life has changed was cathartic.

I am so proud of myself because just at the beginning of the year this reality seemed so far away. I had faith but it felt so distant. Now I’m living in my prayers and the prayers of those who loved me enough to send some up in my name. And all it took was changing my environment, releasing the negativity, doubt and judgement that surrounded me, and figuring out how my brain works. Changing my environment really was the catalyst, though. I was able to let go of so much of the stress that came with my toxic living situation. That free’d up space in my brain to process a lot more of my life.

This week is my sister, father and best friends birthdays. Three very special people who I am blessed to share another year with on this physical plane.

My sister and best friend (whose birthday is today) have made space for me to cry, scream, vent and vent and vent until I couldn’t any more. I am thankful for the love I have.

My birthday is in 10 days and I turn 28. Where did the time go? I’ve stopped placing specific societal pressures on my age. I don’t have to be in a certain space by 28 (unless I genuinely want to be ) I just need to be happy, healthy and in a better place than I was the year before. “How can I better myself this year? “ Is the question I will ask on my bday. In my eyes, turning a year older marks the start of a new year.

[buckyownsmylife]

Moral Insanity - Andy Barber smut

The one where you’re Jacob’s friend and Andy fucks you on a balcony.

Warnings: this is divorced! Andy and college! Jacob, so while there’s a definite age gap there, reader is legal. So other warnings go: semi-public sex, a lot of dirty talking, no daddy kink on this one, which came as a surprise even to me, curse words and really rough sex. p in v, porn with little plot, masturbation (f). A/N: Kinktober Day 27 prompts were sex on a balcony or window + “Don’t cum yet”. Hope you guys like this one, I feel like it was a good one, but if I had more time, I could probably make it better. I think that’s kind of the sentiment behind the whole kinktober, actually.

Andy’s P.O.V.

Even the strongest of wills caved when faced with a sweet enough temptation. All it took was one look and I knew she was mine.

Perhaps I should have known better than to let Jacob invite his friends to our beach house, but I was recently divorced and in desperate need to feel cool again, even if I knew that trying to be seen like that by my own kid would only lead me to the opposite direction. And maybe I also forgot just how old he was, ignored that he was now in college and saw the image of his teenage years when I looked at him, because the truth was, when I saw her walking in, I was frozen in my spot. 

I didn’t even consider that my son was old enough to have sleepovers with girls now. And when I had to confront my own desire for the much younger girl who he introduced as a friend, in my own eyes, he grew up too.

But I still had to face the reality that she was undeniably young enough to be my daughter.

“Good morning, Mr. B.” My head automatically whipped around to look at the ray of sunshine personified in the body of Jacob’s college best friend. I’d heard about her before, obviously, and even teased him about being embarrassed to admit that he was dating her, but now that I knew the girl I could only acknowledge the fact that she was way out of his league.

Maybe I shouldn’t retroactively feel relieved about their relationship being so innocent, but I was way past denying the attraction I felt for her. My goal now was to keep it hidden, despite just how enticing she was.

“Good morning, Y/N. You do know you’re on spring break, right? There’s no need to keep waking up so early.” I chanced a glance up at her, to find her looking out at the balcony, towards the sea. 

“I know,” she nodded, her eyes still focused on a distant point before they suddenly met mine. “I just like to keep you company.” I didn’t know what to say, so I just resumed my previous activity of frying bacon, letting the silence of the morning fill the space between us. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t uncomfortable. Maybe because in the last few days I’d had the chance of striking up many conversations with her - which only added to my attraction, since she was an incredibly intelligent woman - so I felt like I knew her enough, by now. Enough for what, I didn’t know.

“Well, the eggs are ready. Will you accompany me to breakfast?” We made idle chit chat before two of her friends made their way downstairs, my signal to leave them alone. As much as I liked to view myself as young at heart, I remembered just how weird it was when adults tried to force their presence into a group, and I wasn’t about to do that.

Just before I left, her eyes met mine in a longing stare, and it felt like she wanted to say something, but refrained from doing so. But perhaps it was just my hopeful imagination, wanting her to like my company as much as I enjoyed hers.

The next time I saw her, it was lunch already. Jacob and his friends had spent the day between the beach and the pool, while I remained in the bedroom returning some calls from the office. When I finally joined them downstairs, I was once again shocked by the view of her glistening wet body in what could only be described as a barely there bikini.

She caught me staring, that much I knew and I couldn’t really admonish myself for my lack of restraint, not when I hadn’t seen that much of her body yet and it was driving me crazy. Besides, I definitely wasn’t the only one staring, perhaps just the only who really shouldn’t be doing it.

“Why are you pouting?” Was the first thing I asked her when she approached the kitchen island where I fixed myself a sandwich, making sure to keep my eyes on the bread slices in my hands, instead of on her chest.

“You left me alone with dumb and dumber! In the middle of a conversation about the Supreme Court! You really know how to make a girl feel interesting, Mr. B.” My heartbeat sped up in my chest, my mind racing with the possibility that she was flirting with me. Was she? How could I know? 

From my experience being single, I knew the only way was to slowly reciprocate it and hope for the best. Hopefully I’d be able to get out of it if she ever called me out on it. “You are interesting, Y/N. I’m the one who’s a boring old man. Say, what happened to the bathing suits you were wearing until today?”

My question made her look down to her own body, like she didn’t remember what she was wearing until I asked. When she did return her eyes to mine, she was biting her lip, though it was hard to assess if it was due to embarrassment or excitement for my acknowledgement.

“I lost a bet to the other girls. They gave me one of their bikinis to wear for the day, knowing I don’t usually wear them because they make me uncomfortable.” She looked downright adorable, the pout back on her lips at the memory, and I had to shake my head to swipe away the thought of leaning over and kissing it away.

“Well, I think you look great.” That was all I considered safe to say, but I did throw a wink in her direction before picking up my plate and moving to my bedroom, where I still had some work to go through while I ate. I didn’t look back to witness her reaction, but hoped she’d be at least a little intrigued by my sudden expression of interest.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“You sure you don’t wanna go with us?” I nodded patiently, confirming for the upteenth time that I did in fact desired to stay back at Jacob’s huge beach house instead of following my friends to a noisy, sweaty club. I’d never really liked those environments, so it wasn’t that weird that I ditched them for whatever crime show was on tv for tonight, but in the back of my mind, I knew it was more than that. 

I wanted to see Andy again. I wanted to have the opportunity to talk to him without the fear of being interrupted or judged. So really, it wasn’t any surprise to me that after everyone left for the night, I could barely sit still in front of the television, quickly deciding to turn it off and go look for the man that had been plaguing my thoughts for the last few days.

I paced in front of the door to his room for a while before finally gathering the courage to knock, expecting him to open it and follow me downstairs so we could talk. So I was beyond surprised when he simply ordered me to get in without even asking who was there, but I hesitated only for a few seconds before complying.

It was clear by Andy’s expression that he wasn’t expecting to see me, and all at once I realized he must have thought it was Jacob that wanted to speak with him, after all, no one else had probably ventured to this part of the house besides his son and himself. So I was beyond sheepish as I remained by the door when he lifted an eyebrow to ask me what I was doing there. “I thought you guys had gone out to a club or something.”

“I-I decided to stay back here and I was wondering if you wanted to chat.” Now both of his eyebrows were lifted, like he couldn’t believe what he had heard. In the seconds of silence that followed, my mind finally processed the fact that what Andy was wearing weren’t swimsuits, but boxers, and there wasn’t anything else covering his body from my wandering gaze. His hair was wet, too, like he’d just gotten out of a shower, but none of that distracted me from the fact that in those few seconds of silence, his expression changed from incredulous to something entirely different, something I couldn’t really pinpoint, but made my body feel hotter than the sun.

“You wanted to chat?” The question sounded more like an accusation and I found myself giving a step back when I realized that Andy had crossed the room to stand right in front of me, his eyes taking in every inch of skin the bikini exposed. “You wanted to chat,” he repeated, and I gulped before opening my mouth to explain myself, even though I wasn’t entirely sure of what I should be explaining, when his hands found their way to the door behind me and he closed it before settling them in the dark wood, caging me between my escape and himself. “You come into my room when your friends are out and we’re the only two people in the house, dressed like that after spending the last few days driving me absolutely insane, and you tell me you want to chat?”

Andy’s P.O.V.

God fucking damn. This girl had to be completely unaware of her effect over me or absolutely intent on having me going crazy over how badly I wanted her, because it was impossible for her to have waltzed into my room without knowing that this was how I would react.

Still, I had to admit it came half as a surprise even to myself, so maybe I shouldn’t judge her too harshly. Maybe if I hadn’t just tugged one out to the thoughts of her and spilled over myself so badly I had to take a shower, I would be able to ignore the temptation. But as it were, she’d just incited the beast within me, and all I needed was the confirmation that she wanted this just as badly as I did so I could take her exactly like I’d been dreaming about for the last few days.

She heaved as she looked up at me with unmistakable lust-filled eyes, and I felt an insurmountable amount of pride spread through my chest at the knowledge that this desirable young woman was affected by me.

“Well, now that you’re offering me an option, I’ve been wanting your cock in my mouth.” The surprise that hit me over hearing those words fall out of her innocent lips was soon overtook by my desperate need to have her, and with a growl, I pulled her by the back of her head to meet my lips in a furious kiss.

Completely immersed in the taste of cinnamon on her lips, I bit on the lower one to beg her for entrance so I could graze my tongue on hers, taking up the opportunity to finally feel her body against mine. I pressed her up against the door, running my hands over her body before I reached the back of her thighs, pulling her to wrap her legs around my body.

In a few quick strides, we were through the open doors that led to the balcony from where I had a perfect view of the sea, and when I let her go to stand on her own legs, she looked around, clearly confused about my choice of place.

“Did you think you could tease me like that and not get punished? Oh no, you tempted me publicly, I’ll fuck you right here.” It was easy to see that the shiver that ran through her body wasn’t completely due to the wind that was caressing our bodies, she was aroused by the idea. Still, I knew she had a fight in her, so the second she opened her mouth to argue, I lunged at her, capturing her lips with mine again.

The beauty of a bikini. One simple movement and the top piece was on the floor and my hands were full with her breasts, my fingers occupied with circling her hardened nipples as I kept kissing her with all that I had.

“Now, princess…” Leaving her lips to kiss down her jaw, my fingers found their way inside her little bottom piece before they teased her, testing her wetness to find her dripping for me. “I know you said you wanted my cock in your mouth, but I think we can leave that for later, huh? Right now, I really need to have you. So you’re gonna cum real quick, with my fingers deep inside this tight pussy, before I bend you over the rail and rail you.”

I fucked her quickly and harshly, making sure to hit her sweet spot every time when I managed to find her, while I distracted myself from my throbbing cock by nibbling on her earlobe and imprinting her scent in my memory. When she did cum, it was with a breathless gasp as she held tightly onto my biceps, and I groaned just from the feeling of her tightness squeezing my digits.

“I gotta have you now.” That was all the warning I gave before I did just what I promised, bending her over before pushing her bikini bottoms and sliding home. Our moans echoed each other, only fueling my arousal to a point where I couldn’t really wait for her to adjust to my size. So I just started pounding into her, keeping a grip on her hip and another on her hair as I watched her ass slap back against me, her breasts bouncing with the force of my thrusts.

“So fucking tight.” I bit my lip so hard I tasted metal in an effort not to cum too quickly, but it only made me hornier. “C’mon, sweetheart. Tell me how much you love being ruined by me. Don’t you wish your friends would get back sooner, so they’d see just how great you are at taking my cock?”

She cried out at my words, her legs shaking with the effort to keep herself up, but the sight before me was too fucking pretty to let her go. “Been dreaming about my cock deep inside this pretty pussy, haven’t you? Just like I’ve been jerking off to the thought of these pretty little lips wrapped around it.” Having pulled her against my chest by her hair, I rubbed her lower lip before pushing my thumb inside her mouth, where she eagerly started to suck just like I imagined. 

“Won’t have to think about it anymore, will I? Because you’ll let me fuck you any time I want. Every time I get hard thinking about you, you’ll bend over for me to take you and I won’t have to say a single word.” I could feel her pussy clenching periodically because of my words, but I wasn’t quite there yet. I still needed a few more minutes of fucking this tight young pussy and I wanted her to cum with me, so I ordered, “Don’t cum yet,” giving a quick slap over her clit before holding her by her throat so I could kiss her cheek.

“Tell me, baby. Tell me how badly you wanted my cock, how much you want my cum and I’ll let you have it. I’ll let you milk me dry inside this pretty little pussy until it’s dripping out of you.” 

I knew she was having a hard time trying to contain her orgasm, but she still managed to beg me while holding the hand that was pawing at her breast. “Please, Andy, Mr. Barber. I need your cum inside of me, sir. ‘Ve been thinking about it for so long. Please, let me cum with you.”

The sir did it for me. With one last command for her to cum, I allowed myself to release deep inside of her, sliding my hand to her lower stomach so I could feel myself and making her clench again at the feeling.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, catching our breath while staring out into the ocean, until my softened cock slipped out of her, and I gave her a quick kiss on the shoulder. “It’s a pretty view,” she murmured, and I chuckled before turning her to look at me.

“Not as pretty as you. And hey, as great as this was, I want you to know that I really want to get to know you better, Y/N. Talking to you every morning has been the highlight of my day and I’m in desperate need of something like that.”

She smiled before standing up on her tiptoes to deposit a quick kiss on my lips. “Sounds good to me, Mr. Barber. Now, have you ever gone skinny dipping?”

[papipopsicle]

AFTERTASTE PART SIX

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Short!Reader

Genre: fluff and some angst

Summary: In which two best friends since childhood test whether sex and friendship can co-exist without causing conflict. Including OC's Flick and Cherry, a bisexual and lesbian in a sapphic relationship who are best friends of Y/N.

Song: Wildflower by 5 Seconds of Summer

Warnings: a high probability for swearing

Words: 1.7K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

     "LEONARDO, MICHELANGELO!" An eleven year old Y/N Robins called from her porch door, impatiently tapping a food bowl against the wooden frame she leant against. Behind her, the sun was setting and painted the sky a gorgeous array of pinks and oranges, sweeping together like watercolours. She looked out on the street impatiently, finding its sleeping state both calming and unnerving. Elm Street was never noisy, but after three years of living there, the girl had realised it wasn't a place of silence either.

And she was completely right. A distant, yet soft, meow grew ever closer, finally appearing around the side of a bush. Y/N grinned, affectionately calling out for the birman to go find his dinner, "C'mere Angelo, that's it boy!"

He trotted past her up into the house where his found his dinner waiting.

"Leo!" Her small voice called out as loud as it could into the cool evening air. He had wandered off earlier that same day to enjoy the Riverdale summer heat elsewhere, and the Robins family didn't think anything of it. Just as her mouth opened to call out the name again, Vegas came barrelling out from the door of the Andrews household, across the street to her side with Mary and Archie following.

The Andrews matriarch noticed the empty food bowl, "Is everything alright, Y/N/N?" She asked in her usual professional voice, but the girl knew from experience how much love and warmth it really held. Elodie told her about Leonardo's disappearance and how it wasn't uncommon in this kind of weather, but he could be getting a bit hungry.

Mary handed the dog leash to her son and sent him a secret wink, "Why don't you two walk Vegas together and see if you can find him?"

Excitement had been bubbling through the small town of Riverdale for weeks now anticipating the big Fourth of July celebrations ahead of them. Y/N Robins had planned on keeping up with her old tradition of sleeping in until late afternoon, then rolling out of bed in time to catch the fireworks with her friends. But with with the drunkenly asking Archie to be her boyfriend, which was not something she remembered a few hours later, her plans for this year were flipped on their head. So she found herself getting dressed to go talk things out with her supposedly best friend in a quiet spot next to sweet water river.

With her hair half tied up, and a black denim jacket over her shoulders, Y/N left through the door in her bedroom, and waited on the edge of the pavement until she heard a door across the street open and quietly shut. Any butterflies fluttering in her stomach all but disappeared as Archie turned around and smiled into the early morning sun towards her. It had been three days since they had last seen each other, since the girl confessed she didn't really know what she wanted in the space between them.

He jogged over road, asphalt kicking up under his new Nike trainers, and immediately engulfed Y/N's small frame into his own. The two teenagers walked all the way to the edge of Sweetwater River in the silvery silence of early birds and rustling leaves, their hands every now and again grazing each other and lacing together.

"So," The Andrews boy sighed as he lay against the warm grass, watching as she sat next to him and propped her head up on his chest, "what's going on in that head of yours?"

"Leo!" Y/N's melodic voice rang out across the long stretch of stream. Crystal clear water you could see the smoothness of the rocks which lay underneath if you peaked your head over the bank enough. For some unknown reason, the young cat would always find his way towards some kind of water, even back in Phoenix.

"Hello?" Archie bopped the girl on the tip of her nose as she returned back to reality, evidently not hearing what he'd just asked by the puzzled look her face adorned.

She hummed and gave him her full attention, allowing him to rephrase his previous words. In the back of her mind, Y/N knew exactly what she wanted- to leave high school and go on endless adventures with the boy her head lay upon. She wanted an easy life, away from the eerie little town she called home- to decorate her own house with pictures of smiles and candid memories. But most of all, in that perfect moment, she wanted herself to let go and fall in love with her childhood best friend.

After finding Prince Charming and finding out he was really the one from Shrek and not Cinderella, her faith in true love was shaken at the age of sixteen.

"I'm scared of you hurting me, or doing anything that could possibly hurt you, Arch." Y/N's voice faltered at her blunt honesty, "I meant everything I said, but I don't think I'm over what happened with Chuck last year."

"Tiger," Archie interrupted her thoughts, sitting up slightly leaning back on one hand and using the other to cup her face, "I can't promise we won't ever hurt each other even just a little bit, but whatever happens, we'll learn and grown from it together. I don't think I'll ever fully understand how much that bastard hurt you. But, nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy, life is scary and I'll go through all of the shitty parts twenty three hours a day, if it means I get just one with you smiling up at me."

Half an hour of roaming up and down the river bank had passed before a twisting, nauseous feeling took over the pit of Y/N's stomach. She and her family adored their two fluffy boys, her dad would never admit it but they all heard the little 'goodnights' he'd whisper as he made his way up to bed finally. Though with her parents still working, and Y/S/N desperately needing to finish an assignment due tomorrow, the youngest Robins was the only one able to attend this search and rescue mission.

"What if he's -"

Vegas rubbed his nose against her shin in comfort.

"Y/N/N," A twelve year old Archie cut her off in his usual caring voice, "don't even let your mind go there. He's a little ninja cat he's probably off catching frogs or something."

He grabbed her hand, squeezing it in comfort and heading towards an unexplored area of the forest line. Truth be told, he was meant to be doing English homework with Betty Cooper right about now, but that had slipped his mind as soon as Y/N Robins adorably wonky smile found him across the road.

"Leo!" Y/N's sweet voice called out.

"Leonardo?" Archie followed with Vegas by his side.

"That's the sweetest thing I think I've ever heard." The girl admitted shyly, hiding her rose dusted cheeks by bringing Archie into a tight hug, her head resting in the crook of his neck while her long y/h/c hair tickled his face. It smelt of strawberries and mint in the morning breeze.

"Y/N/N, can I ask you something?" His voice sounded nervous, but as she looked up and nodded, his face held a smirk, "Will you stay my girlfriend?"

She answered with a small kiss, staring into his eyes innocently as her fingers traced his back under his thin t-shirt, about to lift the material from his body. But life had a funny way of throwing challenges their way, making them run before they could walk.

"I think I see him!" Archie handed the leash to his best friend, seeing a patch of grey in between the auburn autumn leaves. Vegas barked and tried to follow after his human, but Y/N managed to stop the Labrador from bounding away by distracting him with ear rubs. Wild growls and hisses could be heard as Archie wrestled the feisty long haired cat into his hoodie clad arms. Then Leonardo hissed so madly, the young boy almost dropped him, "Yep, definitely Leo."

Y/N ran over as fast as she could, dropping the lead as soon as she saw his pumpkin eyes and bare teeth, clearly not a fan of Archie. She grinned widely with glee and got to her tippy toes to kiss Archie's cheek. "You're a life saver!"

As soon as the fluffy animal felt Y/N's little hands rubbing his chin as she took him from the boy's arms, he switched into a completely different cat and started purring.

A gunshot sounded through the open clearing, and before a high pitched scream could escape from Y/N's mouth, Archie saw the terror in her eyes and pulled the petite girl behind him. He scaled the area, unable to see anything but birds fleeing from the unusual noise.

"We need to get out of here." The boy's gravely voice whispered with urgency, picking her up without hesitation and running until his lungs burnt and his trainers once again hit the comfort of tarmac.

"What the fuck was that?" Y/N screeched, her inquisitiveness telling to turn back, but thankfully common sense won that battle. She and Archie found themselves back on the pavement of Elm Street before they knew it.

"Y/N, we didn't see anything, it could've been a car backfiring a street away for all we know." Archie tried to rationalise, but in all honesty he was stuck to his core with dread.

"Right, or someone was just murdered and we could've been next on some psychopaths hit list." Y/N's dark mind shone through as she blurted out her inner monologue. The boy didn't have any words of wisdom, instead he lead her to his front door and brought her into his body. They stayed in their own little world for what could have been hours, thankful they had each other and not allowing themselves to think about what secrets Riverdale was really hiding under it's pretty exterior.

Nothing ever happened in the town with 'pep'.

Betty Cooper awoke early that Saturday morning, ready to get any assignments out of the way to enjoy the weekend ahead. She opened her curtains and tied her hair up into a ponytail, but as she looked out of her window at the beautiful blue skies, she watched in shock at the surprising scene unfolding in front of her. Y/N Robins up on her tippy toes, with Archie Andrews' hands wrapped around her waist as they kissed intensely in what the two thought was privacy.

PART SEVEN

wanna be tagged? just send in an ask x

[clnriswood]

DRACO MALFOY X CEDRIC DIGGORY X READER

Something Different | Part One

premise: With Lord Voldemort’s recent rise to power, it’s no surprise that the usually lively aura of Hogwarts has had a signigicant damper placed upon it during the girl’s sixth year there. As she enters the new school year, now a prefect alongside her best friend Cedric Diggory, Y/N battles with uncovering the dark secrets that lie within the elusive Draco Malfoy. In doing so, she uncovers a greater darkness; the one within herself. As tensions rise amidst her pivotal sixth year, sorrow truths make themselves seen, and an unexpected love flourishes.

*In this timeline Cedric was born the same year as Harry, and therefore didn’t compete in the Triwizard Tournament. Instead, it was Angelina Johnson who suffered a horrible fate under Voldemort’s terror in Harry’s fourth year.

a/n: I haven’t been this excited to write in MONTHS. This is going to be a long and angsty journey and I couldn’t be more thrilled to write it. Please do give a like/rb if you enjoy it and be sure to ask if you’d like to be put on a tag list. 

X

Platform nine and three quarters was roaring with life. Footsteps fell heavy as children rushed to the glittering scarlet train, owls screeched amongst the commotion, and luggage scraped as it met the inside of the locomotive. Amongst the commotion, one girl in particular found herself being especially jostled around as she rushed full speed at the soon closing doors of the Hogwarts Express. Her hair was tied messily into a ponytail, strands of all sorts and sizes flying free and finding themselves tangled against her eyes and lips. Her breath came fast and heavy as she leapt onto the train and patted quickly at the glimmering sheen of sweat on her brow. The students around her were causing an unruly clamor, one she tried passively to slide her way through, her eyes wide as they searched high and low amongst the crowd for a familiar face. A rogue toad had children yelping and jumping from its way, the creature making a straight beeline towards the girl, who scoffed absentmindedly and scooped the creature up with an upward curve of her lips.

“Neville,” she laughed softly to herself.

The sound of the train roaring itself in preparation, a deafening whistle bellowing from its belly, sent the crowd dispersing. The girl flinched up in surprise, edging her shoulder past a fellow classmate, who turned sharply to face her. His jet black locks were messy as ever atop that glorious little lightning bolt on his head.

“Harry Potter,” her lips split, eyes twinkling with like.

“(Y/N),” he mirrored with a huge grin.

“Stop by my compartment later?” the girl asked hopefully.

“Uh-” Harry’s eyes narrowed as he gave a faint little shake of his head. “Maybe, yeah. I’ve just got to go about something first.”

She stared at The boy-who-lived with wide eyes, knowing full well the expression he wore was one of what could only be mischief. But, being six years in now, she knew better than to question whatever adventure the idiot was chasing.

“Alright,” she shrugged in defeat, extending her hands. “But do me a favour and return Trevor to Neville, will you? Before you go and do whatever stupid thing it is you’re planning?”

Harry nodded, “of course.”

His searing green gaze narrowed on someone, or something, rather, further along the way down the train. Whatever it was, though, was not hers to find out. The girl gave Harry’s arm a little squeeze as she made way down past the bustling compartments and towards one she knew would surely have a spot for her. By the time she’d reached the end of the slowly moving train the halls were cleared empty… or so she thought. For a figure, clad in dark fabric, found itself barrelling into her front, making the air shoot from her lips in surprise as she went stumbling back. He, being taller than her, towered over her front. From her vantage point, the girl saw only a crisp black tie and the steel cut jaw of a boy with snow white skin. The cologne on his front hit her nostrils hard, filling her lungs with a remarkably sharp minty fragrance. While that alone may not have been enough to tell her who the boy was, her eyes needn’t make it past the sneer he wore to tell her it was Draco Malfoy. Her eyes shot up to his elusive blue ones, unsurprised to see they were brimming with annoyance.

“(Y/N),” her name rolled off his tongue with distaste.

As long as she’d known the boy he’d said it that way. First when she was sorted into Hufflepuff and he’d jeered at her not sixty seconds after her departure from the Great Hall, and every year after that, when he got the chance. Likely, the only person he had more of a distaste for was Harry Potter himself.

“Draco,” she jeered back, her brows knitting with dislike.

He looked different from the last time she’d seen him, when he’d exposed her and every other member of the D.A. to that old hag Dolores Umbriddge. Gleaming from his chest, for the first time, was an emerald green prefect’s pin. But that was the least notable change about him. Far more noteworthy was how the boy looked a little leaner, a little paler, and a little more gaunt. His hair was cropped neatly and there was a sort of sallow sadness that sunk into his skin. Even his eyes lacked their usual annoying glimmer. The girl saw this all, and it made her searing gaze soften. If she didn’t know better, she might be worried for him.

Draco seemed to catch onto the unspoken words her face was telling, for his eyes flickered quickly away as he scoffed shortly and nudged her harshly aside with his shoulders, dismissing the girl with a final jeer.

“Oi, Malfoy,” a voice stopped him.

The boy turned, his eyes lifting to meet his speaker.

“That’s no way to treat a lady,” continued the amused voice of Cedric Diggory.

The girl turned, her face aching as she gave the boy the largest smile she could muster. Cedric Diggory was already in his robes, like her, but they were loose and messy, just like the golden brown mane that grew dangerously long atop his head. His yellow tie was undone around his neck, and featured well with the golden “prefect” stamped pin he wore. The summer sun had kissed his skin just a little warmer than usual, making his ocean blue stare more intense than ever. He gave her a wink with those stupid blue eyes and flashed his white teeth attractively at her before snapping his attention back to the Slytherin.

“Yeah, you’d know all about that, Hufflepuff,” Draco scowled in reply.

But even his scowl seemed off, like it was taking more out of the boy to be a nuisance than usual.

“Come up with something new!” Cedric encouraged with a wave as Malfoy slinked quietly away.

The girl couldn’t help but snort, dropping whatever little nerve Malfoy was striking to focus her attention back on her best friend.

“Ced,”  she pursed her lips hard as she fought back another grin.

“(Y/N),” he glowered, his skin flushing with warmth as he scooped her into a hug.

She threw her arms loosely around him, thrusting her weight off the balls of her feet so as to better reach him. The familiar scent of aftershave and parchment greeted her nostrils, and the back of his neck was cool where her hands rested. The girl prepared to shrug him off with her usual little friend-pat but grew concerned when she realized Cedric was hugging her just a little bit tighter and longer than he normally had done in the past.

The boy seemed to realize, as he pulled quickly away with a little grunt, “you smell like lavender.”

She chuckled and tilted her head in confusion, opening her mouth to reply but finding herself following Cedric quickly into their compartment before she could. The train was moving fast now as it departed from platform nine and three quarters. Two of her fellow housemates, Ernie Macmillan, and Julian Dolohov, awaited them. She noticed at once that Cho Chang was missing from the group, but Cedric looked unbothered. Her friends greeted her as she plopped down into the seat beside the chilly glass window, pressing her head to it as she sunk lazily back and made chatter of her summer. When it came her turn to talk, the girl shrugged modestly.

“Ced and I practiced loads of quidditch when I visited,” she said. “Otherwise I was with Hermione, first at her parent’s place and then cooped up at the Leaky Cauldron.”

Her thoughts grew a little distant as she reminisced on the now dark and un-lively cobblestone paths winding through Diagon Alley. Practically the only source of life left in the place, in fact, was the Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. Having no family in her own picture, the girl had found herself frequenting the Granger’s, something she didn’t quite mind being that Hermione had been her closest companion for years now. With her mother being murdered at a young age, and her father vanishing alongside Lord Voldemort soon thereafter, Hermione was the closest thing she had to a family. Come to think of it, she must be going off somewhere with the other Prefects now, she thought.

“...for the quidditch team, right?” she heard Cedric finish, interrupting her thoughts.

The girl snapped back to reality, “sorry, erm, what?”

Cedric laughed, “I was just saying that you feel ready to try out for the team this year, right?”

The girl laughed an airy laugh, “uh, yeah.”

That was a lie. She felt nowhere near ready for that kind of anxiety inducing horror. But Cedric held strong in his belief that she was ready, and as captain of the team, she had to trust him just a little, right?

Julian grinned, “yeah well, Cedric could always lend you some extra time to practice one on one, now that he’s freed up.”

“Freed up?” the girl raised a brow.

Cedric clenched his teeth together in annoyance, giving his friend a shove to the ribs.

“Yeah, since him and Cho broke up,” Ernie continued obliviously.

The boy half yelled half grunted with frustration.

“You and Cho broke up?!” she gaped.

Cedric slumped his shoulders in defeat, his eyes growing particularly interested in a patch of ceiling as he nodded. His long fingers found themselves toying with the soft blue felt on his seat.

“Why?!” she said, her mouth still wide. “I mean, if you don’t mind my asking.”

He squinted with an aggravated little tilt of his head.

“Wanted different things I guess,” he mumbled, clearly uninterested in discussing the topic further.

“Alright,” she dropped it cooly, glancing quickly at the other boys, whose expressions told her they knew more than she did.

Cedric, still warm with pink, stood abruptly, “c’mon, (Y/N). We have duties to attend to.”

“Yes, right,” she cleared her throat, glad for a semi smooth change in topic, “we’d better be off.”

Their friends whooped and whistled at the two, feigning a swooning amazement at their prefect status.

“Shove it,” Cedric snorted, his nose wrinkling as he grew redder yet.

“Wait,” she stopped the boy, who was already halfway out the compartment.

He turned, face quizzical as her hand met the side of his arm. The girl turned him forward and reached into her chunky black boot, from which she procured her wand. She was silent as she flourished her wand, dragon heartstring and vine, and gave it a graceful swish. Cedric’s tie momentarily gained a life of its own as it curled up, around, and under, before resting neatly against his chest. He looked dashing as ever.

“Thanks,” he chuckled, his eyes glittering appreciatively.

The sky was growing dark with rain now, and it came pelting down hard against the windows, like fists on the glass. The two prefects began to make their way down the Hogwarts Express and to their obligatory Prefect meeting, but hadn’t gotten three steps down the corridor before a sudden BANG threw them off guard.

For an instant, it seemed that a sneaker, attached to an invisible body, flew past them. No sooner had the foot passed than an explosive cloud of black erupted around them, filling the air with a glittering black smoke. Her friends, from behind her, threw the doors of their compartment shut with a cough and wave about the air.

“What was that?” she spluttered.

“Probably just some first year messing about,” Cedric assured, unbothered as he fought his way through the sea of darkness.

The girl arched a brow as she waved a curl of the black mist from her face, “yeah, probably.”

She doubted that seriously.

. . .

The Great Hall was quieter that year. One might expect as much given that the incarnation of evil had been reborn. The hundreds of glittering waxy candles winked at students from above their heads, the bright house ties of the students flooded their respective tables, and the glass overhead made clear the inky scape of the night sky. Everything looked the same, but the feeling in the air was sticky and thick with buried worry. During the more somber house assignments, the girl found her mind drifting, stretching as high as the Hall’s ceilings. She couldn’t help but drift. Neither could many others, it seemed. The usual buzz of nerves and excitement was instead replaced by a deathly quiet. And so, as she sat, she scanned the many faces in the hall. First Cedric, whose eyes flickered instantaneously to hers, and who gave her a massive flash of his teeth, making her heart feel just a little lighter in her chest. And then she looked to Harry Potter, who had stumbled into the Hall late and now stared forward while a ridiculous glob of blood dripped from his nose and onto his lips. In questioning, her focus then shifted to Hermione, who’s weary brown eyes met her own before she indicated her head with a tilt across the hall, to Draco Malfoy. The girl’s eyes went there, next.

Draco was hardly attentive to the words the Sorting Hat spoke. Instead, he had his chin resting lightly upon his neatly folded hands, his eyes dark with some sort of silenced hurt as he stared holes through the oaky Slytherin table. While the feast then shortly commenced, the huge gleaming platter before him sat empty and lifeless, just itching to be filled like those of his friends around him. But they were all engrossed in their meals, and never once did the snow white boy show interest in eating, talking, or even moving. He played the part so well she almost considered if he’d simply frozen himself right there, his elbows iced into the hard surface beneath them. But a quick glance to his white knuckles, which were dripping in fine gold rings, told her she’d found the perpetrator for Harry’s broken nose. A thin line of blood trickled across his middle finger, and it was as scarlet as the ruby red blood dried to his arch enemy’s face. That made her grow hot with rage.

As she glanced back at the boy's empty plate, and then to her own, she found that she wasn’t particularly hungry either, but Cedric continued to sneak little pieces of pork and potatoes he’d cut for her onto her plate, insisting she eat. As she did so, her eyes absentmindedly met their final interest; Cho Chang. She was only one table away, but it was her stare that beckoned the girl’s own. Cho’s lips formed a tightly sealed line as her eyes went first to the girl, whose hair was unruly and sunshine yellow tie was crooked, and then to Cedric, who was somehow managing to make cutting vegetables look appealing. Those eyes looked glossier when they left than when they had first seen her, but Cho had turned away so fast that she couldn’t quite make out the tears forming in them. While a normal friend might’ve found it concerning, the truth was the two girls were never quite close. Cho hadn’t seemed keen on pursuing the girl’s efforts at kindling friendship, and she’d always either kept to Cedric or her own friends when they’d been dating. Now, it seemed clear enough that there was a world of resentment between the two. Or, maybe just on her side, it seemed. In reality, Cedric hadn’t even noticed his ex girlfriend’s gaze. No, he was too busy fighting off a housemate's hand and trying to procure the last chocolate covered strawberry for (Y/N) beside him, who sat festering in the millions of thoughts shooting through her brain like fireworks.

Her thoughts had been quelled only to a dull roar by the time Dumbledore gave his closing remarks to the students of Hogwarts. He stood before the Hall now, his voice soft and contemplative as his speech came to its end.

“Every day, every hour, this very minute, perhaps… dark forces attempt to penetrate this castle's walls. But in the end, that greatest weapon… is you. Just something to think about.”

His audience was silent in reply.

As he departed from the podium, the old wizard’s beard flew gracefully, robes billowing as he swept back to his seat with a push of his glasses up his crooked nose. The man sat thoughtfully, his all knowing blue eyes observing the students before him with a look that read strangely like it could be the last time he might do so. The hand he pressed to his lap was black, she realized, and charred with decay. But there was nothing to fear, surely. For he was the great Albus Dumbeldore, and he made Hogwarts the safest place she could possibly be. That’s what she had been thinking, when she noticed.

As the students around her had clamored loudly about, rising from their seats and speaking in a low chatter, she noticed one other person, still in his seat, staring at Dumbledore. But he didn’t stare in the way that she had, with concern, or with reassurance. No, Draco looked right at Albus Dumbledore, and the look he wore was one of fear. At least that’s what she’d gathered, in the short moment before his steely icy eyes came snapping her way and narrowing right in on her own curious ones. She waited for a scowl, a sneer, anything of the usual sort, but it didn’t come. His perfectly slender white fingers were light against his hollow cheeks, and his eyes moved quickly back and forth between the contemplative parting of the girl’s lips and the sharp arch of her brow. And so the girl looked at the boy, and, for what was perhaps the first time ever, the boy looked back.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 27)

The closer we get to the end, the more nervous I am, and maybe you are too, because things are going to go horribly awry and only suffering is to come. Fate is adamant that a specific twelve year old must die, and we really have no choice but to watch it all unfold.

In this part, we will discuss the chapters building up to the New Year's Concert, where Reo will attempt to assassinate the ESP.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Six

Ruka finds Natsume in the snow. He asks where he’s been, and Natsume responds that he went to see Mikan. Natsume imagines that Ruka will be jealous, because he feels guilty. He’d been putting his own wants first this whole night, and he hadn’t even considered Ruka.

Expectation vs. Reality. Ruka, best boy.

But Ruka is not jealous, or he’s very good at hiding it. He beams at Natsume, offering only congratulations and support. He’s happy for them, that both of their wishes came true. In fact, Ruka was also wishing for it, that Mikan and Natsume could find each other.

Natsume apologizes, because Ruka’s cheerful support only makes him feel more guilty, but he doesn’t tell him for what. He will not recount the details of the night, particularly of the many kisses shared between him and Mikan.

There’s a happy moment between Natsume and Ruka until, of course, Natsume starts coughing violently. He coughs up blood again, and when Ruka asks him if he’s okay, he’s ready to downplay it, already hiding his hand so that his best friend won’t worry. But Ruka grabs his hand and looks at the blood on the glove, and there’s a somber moment between them. Natsume tries to talk, but Ruka knows he’s just going to try and downplay it again, so he interrupts.

The best friendship in all of fiction. I stand by this forever. You can't change my mind.

Ruka has watched Natsume suffer the whole time they’ve been at the academy, even before then. He might not have had all the details, but he’s known that Natsume’s life was agony. He was helpless, and even became a burden (in his own view, not Natsume’s). He pleads with Natsume not to hide from him anymore. They’re meant to be best friends, and all Ruka has ever wanted was to be Natsume’s support system, but Natsume shut him out in the guise of protecting him. He keeps all his pain locked away and deals with it on his own.

Watching someone you love suffer and not being able to do anything about it is a tremendous pain, Ruka says. Natsume must sympathize. He will say something similar later on about Mikan’s situation.

Ruka loves Natsume. Natsume might have thought that he dragged his only friend into a bottomless pit of despair but Ruka asserts he’s never once regretted following him to the academy, not even for a second.

Ruka is confessing now. Natsume must know now that his existence is important to at least two people who love him unconditionally, but he doesn’t internalize it. Maybe he can’t. He’s too stuck in the role of martyr that straying from it would go against the very fabric of his own identity. He exists and has always existed to protect others. Protecting himself or even considering himself doesn’t align with that identity. No matter how much Mikan and Ruka plead with him to keep himself safe, he can’t abide. They’re more important than he is. He fails to see how much heartbreak and sorrow he will leave in his wake of self-destruction.

Natsume can’t internalize it. He can’t take it in and change course. It’s too late for that, in his mind. But he can tell Ruka the truth, because supporting Natsume is all Ruka wants.

He confesses too. He’s afraid. He doesn’t like thinking about the future, not even a year from now, because he’s scared he’ll be dead by then.

He says his secret fear out loud, that he won’t be able to protect her, and it’s still so heart-breaking that he still only sees his own value in how much he can protect people. He will shorten his own life to get her out of the darkness she’s ended up in. He doesn’t see worth in his existence just for the sake of living, of breathing, of smiling and laughing and crying and existing. Instead, his value is conditional. He is only so good as he is able to protect others and when he can’t anymore, then he is no longer valuable. It’s a glaring sign of a ridiculously low self-esteem.

He wants to choose life! He wants to live! Oh, this makes it worse...

But something has changed. He doesn’t want to die. He wants to live and be with her forever. He can’t be with her if he’s dead. It’s a selfish thought, and as I’ve been saying, that’s a wonderful thing. If only that selfish impulse were stronger, than maybe things wouldn’t be so doomed in the coming week. But Natsume’s ingrained martyr complex is stronger than anything, and his new flicker of selfishness doesn’t stand a chance.

Ruka promises he’ll do anything to support Natsume and Mikan’s future together. And so Natsume asks Ruka to protect Mikan if he’s no longer able to.

I personally don’t think he’s handing Mikan over here. This whole conversation’s context is specifically about protecting Mikan, and how Natsume wants only to keep her safe, even at the expense of his own life (though he’s actually more cavalier with that than he lets on, so it’s not much of an “even”, is it?). If Natsume is dead, he wants somebody he trusts to watch over her and prioritize her as he has. Who better than Ruka, who loves Mikan too and will want to keep her safe as well?

Or. You could just. Not die. Just a thought.

Natsume has never treated Mikan as an object to be won. He’s in fact made several comments about not “competing” at all. If he was able to give Mikan to Ruka, those two would be together now already and Natsume wouldn’t be the one holding Mikan’s alice stone. He is not any more capable of giving her away then he’s been before, and he’s less motivated to now than he’s ever been. Mikan is his, after all. Why would he “give her away” so soon after promising to be together forever?

He’s only concerned with Mikan’s safety and freedom here. If he dies in the pursuit of that, which he will, then someone else needs to make sure she’s safe and free. What she does with that safety and freedom is not in his or Ruka’s or anyone’s hands. I imagine Natsume, who got jealous of Mikan thinking of all her important people when making her alice stone would also get jealous at the thought of Mikan falling in love with somebody after his death. It might occur in the distant future, but it probably wouldn’t be any fun to imagine.

You may disagree with me, but I just can’t see it that way. I just don’t see it.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Seven

It’s New Year’s. Mikan’s birthday. There’s a celebration happening in the dorms, just like last year, but Natsume isn’t dressed in traditional garb to welcome the new year and feast like all the other students.

Instead, he’s waiting for Narumi in a hallway.

He wants all the information he can get, so he can get Mikan out of her cage sooner. Narumi isn’t talking, always willing to act dumb to get out of things. But Natsume knows better. He saw Narumi in the flashbacks, and knows how much Narumi loved Yuka. He would’ve done anything for her, even if it resulted in his own death. Narumi should understand how Natsume feels, then. He knows Mikan is suffering and in danger, but he can’t do anything about it. He says something to the effect that he shouldn’t even be living at this point, again reiterating that his life only has value if he’s able to protect people, particularly Mikan. If he’s unable to do that, then he might as well die. There’s really no difference, he says.

Jeez, kid, relax.

Narumi tries to point out that Natsume is dying, as if perhaps the kid is unaware of this, but Natsume grabs him and declares that he will not end up like him. Natsume seems to understand Narumi (probably more than I can! Haha) and that his life has been empty and soulless for a long time. Narumi is full of regret and has been for years, but Natsume won’t be like that. He won’t live with regret. He’ll do anything he can to save Mikan, and he’ll die without a single regret. He also claims he won’t give up on the idea of sharing a future with Mikan, and that makes the inevitable doom of their romance all the more tragic. Natsume isn’t planning on dying. He’s not imagining that he doesn’t even have a full two days left to live. He’s thinking he’ll push himself to the end of his rope, save Mikan, and then live happily ever after. It’s naive and childish and ridiculous that he really believes he can have his cake and eat it too, but he does with his whole heart.

"I want to live," is enough for me. I stopped reading after that. LET THIS KID LIVE.

Natsume tells Narumi to stop underestimating him for his age. But Narumi agrees: he doesn’t want Natsume or any of the other kids to end up like him and his generation did. He wants things to be better, for the new generation to have a happy and hopeful future to look forward to instead of surrendering to a life of misery and regret.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Nine

Natsume and Ruka are something like partners-in-crime now. They both know that taking out the ESP is the only way to free Mikan. They are spying on Reo, who has come under the guise of performing for the New Year’s concert, who spills that Z wants to assassinate the ESP.

Tsubasa and Tono quickly join the conversation, although they’re somewhat unwanted.

Reo keeps talking, and now all four of them are privy to his plan. Tono scolds Natsume for trying to get involved when it’s obvious Z is already on the case. Let them do it, he says. Keep yourself safe instead of putting everything on your own shoulders. Naturally, this is Natsume we’re talking about, so no amount of logic will get into his head, but it was worth a try, Tono.

Natsume's little face here is my favorite. His little angry expressions are always the highlight of any page.

Hearing this warning, Natsume can see the sense in it. He doesn’t want to leave his fiancee alone and heart-broken by his loss (more proof that he doesn’t really believe he’ll die) tomorrow, but to his horror, Koko was reading his thoughts aloud.

Natsume is embarrassed to be put on the spot, and he didn’t want to hurt Ruka’s feelings, so he takes out his anger on Koko. Then he punishes Tsubasa for teasing him about how fast he’s going with Mikan when Tsubasa is actually just slow with Misaki. Then it’s revealed that Tsubasa did finally confess to Misaki and got the answer he wanted, which only pisses Natsume off more, inexplicably. He’d be angry either way, just because it’s Tsubasa. He probably just wants to take the focus off himself and the fact that he’s already proposed to Mikan.

Tsubasa was in fact inspired by Natsume’s commitment to protecting Mikan. He confessed because his kouhai was so determined. But he also expresses concern for Natsume’s recklessness. Protecting people is a worthwhile pursuit, but so is valuing your own life. Other people depend on him and love him, and losing would hurt. He doesn’t have to do everything on his own. Working as a team can ensure his safety and keep him living longer. They’re all on the same page, after all, so why not join forces and get it done more efficiently without Natsume being the martyr again?

Yeah, Natsume, go to therapy. Like, yesterday.

But as the group splits up, Ruka holds Natsume still. He wants to talk about what happened on Christmas, but Natsume doesn’t. He’d rather keep that to himself, not at all willing to hurt Ruka’s feelings after he’s been nothing but supportive.

But he can’t lie, and Ruka has expressed interest in hearing all the truthbombs Natsume can dish out, so he comes clean. They exchanged alice stones. It looks like it pains Natsume to admit it. He’s consumed by guilt for the role he’s played in hurting Ruka. But Ruka is still just happy for him. He again offers congratulations, and all is well until Koko announces that Natsume and Mikan kissed a lot too. Apparently, Natsume has been thinking about the kisses so often and shamelessly to the point that Koko is concerned.

Ruka gets upset, but not out of jealousy. He hits Natsume rather pathetically, adamantly demanding that he be honest and tell him everything instead of keeping secrets all the time. Ruka doesn’t care that Natsume has been “selfish” and has kissed Mikan and gotten engaged with her and met with her. He is a fan! He’s Team NatsuMikan now too! He just wants Natsume to stop lying to him, not even to spare his feelings. If Natsume can’t be honest, then Ruka can’t do his job of supporting him. Friendship is a two-way street and can’t work if the friends can’t rely on each other for help and support. Going through good and tough times together is the key to any lasting relationship, and for that to work Natsume needs to talk to him instead of holding back.

Ruka is so cute here. Absolutely adorable. I shall adopt.

Natsume apologizes and the chapter ends on a light note, with the four of them teasing each other and laughing.

But tomorrow will be a different story. Many horrible things will happen tomorrow night, and the bright future Natsume has finally allowed himself to consider will burn up and die.

Conclusion

In the Rapunzel story, the prince was blinded and forced to walk around the forest unable to look for his lost love. I imagine that's why the chapter title image for Chapter 147 has his face covered in bandages. The story of Rapunzel is a tragic one, but it ends in a happily-ever-after. The consolation we have is that the story of NatsuMikan is more like the story of Rapunzel than of Romeo and Juliet, though it certainly doesn't feel like it for the next thirty-something chapters.

I didn't reread this at all before posting because I'm really tired. Thus, I claim no ownership over any mistakes. They can't be helped.

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[divinefireangel]

The Way You Love

SF9 Youngbin x F! Reader Imagine.

He's so precious I WANNA PROTEC

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: Got the idea at literally 3am. And I cried a lil while writing this. I do recommend reading this when you have a bad day. Because I have to say it is cute.

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: All ages and written with she/her pronouns but everyone can read it. (nothing specified with respect to anatomy, appearance, etc of reader). Nothing really. Just pure fluff. Slowburn and crappy ending because I went blank 😂💀

Summary/Pre-Requisite: Youngbin and Y/N are in a well established relationship. But it isn't enough.

1.6k words

Youngbin smiled at the small box in his hand. He can't believe he is actually going to do this. How can something as little as this be the source of so much joy, he didn't know. Maybe it was her. Or the fact that it was for her, from him. An eternal promise to love her till his last day, last hour, last minute and final breath. Well there is still much time to worry about that now though.

Loving Y/N is definitely the best decision he took without having to take it. Loving her, was as easy as breathing the fresh morning air. Listening to her talk was his favourite sound in the entire universe. Watching her dance goofily is his ideal view, other than when she's paying attention to something. Her face looks so cute when she's concentrating, he almost feels like he can cry over her adorableness.

Watching her from across the room, her movements, the way she smiles and makes everyone around her laugh with her silly jokes only adds to one of the many reasons why he loves her. She is the brightest light in his life, illuminating his existence with unfiltered joy and eternal love and affection.

He loves it when she snuggles up to him, wrapping her small arms around his torso and asks him what he's doing with her honey sweet voice, never fails to make his heart melt and burst with adoration. He loves it when she sleepily moves closer to him, like a pair of magnets, because she feels cold and knows that she can always rely on him to keep her warm.

He loves it when she bonds with his members and treat them and scold them like they are her children. Although he loves it more when she becomes a source of reassurance not only to him but also to his little brothers. He loves it when she helps them with anything, no matter how small the help may be. Since he is treated like the Dad of the group, Y/N automatically became the Mom and he couldn't wish for someone more perfect then her for that role.

He loves her understanding nature, her positive spirit, her overly motivating presence, her genuine compliments and concern. He loves the way she looks at him, like he's the only man in a room full of people. Her eyes reflecting the same twinkles of his eyes, with just as much love when he looks at her.

He loves when she slightly shuts her eyes when he moves her hair out of her face. He loves it when her small frame hugs him so tight he can barely stand still. He loves it when she plays with his hair when he takes a nap on her chest. He loves how her hand fits into his perfectly, like pieces of a puzzle.

If there was one thing he could do again, it would be to go back in time and fall in love with her all over again for the first time. Everyday, she gives him something new to love about her. Whether it be her shy smile, her blushy flustered face or the way she gets excited when she sees something cute, the way she coos his puppy to sleep, the way she always makes him feel better on a bad day and so many more things that may seem insignificant to her, but are never to him, makes him fall for her harder and deeper in love than he ever thought possible.

"Hyung! HYUNG!!! "

Snapping back to reality, Youngbin sees a wide eyes Chani looking at him with a questioning expression.

"What? "

"Were you daydreaming about Noona again? Why are you so distracted today? "

"It's nothing Chani-ya. She just makes me happy. That's all. Did you tell the camera crew that I need them this evening? "

"Yes I did Hyung. That's what I was telling you as you were zoned out. I don't even want to imagine what it's going to be like when you get married. We probably won't get anything done at all since you will be distracted all the time. " Chani said in a factual manner.

"Okay that's a bit excessive. And you haven't found someone whom you love as much right now. You will understand better when you do. Till then I can't really explain this." The older said smiling lighty as she took over his thoughts again. Rolling his eyes, Chani patted his leader and left wordlessly.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"This is nice. The air isn't as humid as I thought it would be. " Y/N said as she walked next to her lover, fingers intertwined, arms swaying back and forth as they moved forward. Stopping still he twirled her around till she faced the railing covering the boundary of the lake. Giggling she wrapped his arms around her so he could hug her, keep her warm, even though she wasn't as cold yet.

Resting his chin on her head, he sighed heavily, feeling content with his beloved in his embrace. Oh how he could stay like this forever and never leave. Hmm. She's right. The air is just perfect. Like her. And it is definitely the perfect weather, to take the next step most relationships do.

Looking up at the sky, the stars shine bright, twinkling and shimmering beautifully. Taking this as a positive sign from the universe, Youngbin hugged Y/N tighter, knowing that it's now or,well later but now is nice. Turning her head to her lover, Y/N stands on her tippy toes to kiss him.

Breathing out the two lovebirds stared up at the star filled night sky. The soft wind getting stronger with time, but not too strong to have any effect yet. Just a light breeze that can be felt. Like the love that's surrounding them, keeping them warm from the exterior and from within.

"Oh! Did you see that! That star is shining the brightest." Youngbin said pointing at a distant star.

" Which one? " Y/N stepped forward by one step, trying to see the star he pointed out.

" That one? " She asked again, this time she was the one pointing.

" No. The one standing in front of me right now. "

Drawing her hand back to her body, her heart thumping strongly in her chest. Now, what had happened when they hugged is that Y/N had felt a small poke on the side of her thigh, where Youngbin's jacket was over on her. So being the smart young lady she is, Y/N knew. She knew what was happening. And it wasn't just feeling the poke, she's been feeling like this for some days now. And she knows that he has too.

Slowly turning around, Y/N was faced with her lover, who was down on one knee, holding a small box with the cutest ring she had ever seen. To say that Y/N.exe had stopped working was an understatement. She stood there, as though she was frozen. Looking up at her, Youngbin breathed heavily and started.

" When I met you for the first time, I never thought that you will love someone like me. So I was happy to settle being just your friend. But we both started liking each other at the same time. I asked you out and you agreed to date me. I never thought that you would actually date me for a long time because I've, well I was thinking that you deserve better. But you told me and made me belive different. And I am really really grateful that you did. And as time progressed, we both grew to love each other so much. You know all of this already, but saying this out loud, makes me sure that I want more. You, have helped me grow into a better person, over the time that we have dated. You, motivate me and drive me to do better, because even if no one did, you knew my limit and my capabilities. You, make me the happiest I've ever been. So will you please make me a little bit more happier by becoming my fiancee and the happiest, in the near future, when you become my wife? Will you marry me? "

Y/N stares at him, while breathing through her mouth. The only sound that's heard is the soft wind.

" Yes. "

Y/N gets down on her knees, in front of her lover, sweet tears of shock and joy streaming down her face.

" Yes. I will marry you Kim Youngbin. "

" Hyung!!! Congratulations!!!!!! "

Breaking his face into a grin, Youngbin removes the lovely and intricately detailed ring and puts it on Y/N's finger delicately. Kissing her left knuckle, Youngbin realises he is crying as well. Sobbing out loud Y/N throws her arms around him, making him tumble backwards a little. Laughing a little, Youngbin slowly wraps his arms around her, caressing the back of her head as he looked up at the sky, trying to stop the tears from falling down his cheek.

Hugging each other tight for what seemed like forever, they move away from each other's embrace upon hearing clapping sounds and cheers from the young men and their team who have now approached them.

Standing up Y/N couldn't help but hide her face in her lover's chest. Kissing her forehead, Youngbin thanked everyone.

" Let's all celebrate! Dinner is on us. " Youngbin stated looking you. Smiling you nodded you head in agreement as everyone around you cheered and wiped their tears away.

It all felt like a dream. But it wasn't. It was reality. A reality that she was so thankful to have. Smiling till their cheeks hurt, Youngbin and Y/N not couldn't wait till they were married and called as Husband and Wife.

[my-makeshift-masquerade]

Riva Remembers

(A cheesy title for a fic I wrote while in the midst of an emotional breakdown, haha… I figured I’d post it on here because people seem to like my artwork of this OC so far. This is my first time writing these characters. Also I am on mobile and super duper tired from the aforementioned breakdown, so please pardon the long post. I have no idea how to put the read more thing on this… Regardless I hope someone enjoys this, I guess.)

“Agent Cruller, it’s me! Raz! I need to talk to you—“

“Sorry, senior staff only!” The old man in the mailroom office replied coldly, turning back to sorting the piles of letters with telekinesis.

“Don’t you know who I am?!” Nick’s voice came from farther into the mailroom, “I’m telling my dad!”

Razputin suddenly got an idea… He raced down to find his mentor standing there, eyes looking off in two separate directions. Another figure he recognized was on the verge of a nervous breakdown right next to him… Actually she looked like she had already been through multiple breakdowns before he even got here.

“Mr. Johnsmith?! Come on! It’s me! N-nick?!” The teen ran pale hands through her short brown hair, “Th-this is terrible! I am dead for sure!”

“Postage stamps…are scratch and sniff…” The pot-bellied man mumbled nonsensically beside her.

“Whoa, whoa, Riva…” The ten year old’s expression softened, “I was the one who found his brainless body… What do you mean you’re dead?”

“N-norma…she… t-told everyone I…”

“She thinks YOU’RE the mole?!” The child was taken aback, slightly angered even, “Why?!”

“I-I don’t know…M-maybe it’s because I didn’t notice the body before you…?” Riva sniffled, “It doesn’t matter… Agent Foresythe is going to have me detained…o-once she hears about this…”

“What?! No way!” He looked at her with determined eyes, “Don’t worry! I have a plan! I am going to get a new brain for Nick’s body, so he can let me into the mailroom office! Once I get there, I will be one step closer to proving you’re innocent!”

“Y-you really think… I-I’m innocent…?” Her tear filled blue eyes looked at him as if confused by his faith in her.

“I know you are!” He nodded, “Hey! Can you watch Ford for me until I get back? Make sure he doesn’t go anywhere!”

“F-ford…?” The other intern’s eyes narrowed at that name, as if she were squinting to see through a thick fog, “Ford…why does… Oh! Ford Cruller, right… He’s one of the psychic 6…” She shook her head, “Sorry, I am just…all over the place… These panic attacks take a lot out of me…”

“It’s all going to be okay.” The younger of the two gently took the other’s hand, waving to Nick before walking up to the office room, “Agent Cruller! This is my friend! She works in the mailroom—!”

“If she isn’t senior staff, that door ain’t openin’!” Ford declared before the boy could finish.

“Oh, I know!” Raz nodded, “This is Riva. She is having a hard time right now, and I don’t want to leave her alone. Maybe you two could talk or something?”

“Eh?! Oh, sure…sure thing…” The senior sounded slightly jostled for a moment, before returning to his distant demeanor, “Chit chat makes the sortin go faster…”

“Great!” The boy smiled at Riva before racing up to the exit of the mailroom, “I’ll be back as soon as possible!”

Soon after the sound of footsteps and levitation bubbles faded, the remaining intern heard the door creak open.

“Riva…” Cruller’s voice sounded slightly shaken, “I… Is it really you…?”

“S-sir…?” She frowned, “I-I don’t think we’ve met before…”

“Ah… I shoulda known you would’ve repressed it all…” He looked at the floor grimly, “They feared what you could become if you knew…”

“…W-what…?” The teen stepped away as the agent stepped closer, reaching a hand out to her. Eventually, she was against a wall.

“You…really were damaged by the feedback…weren’t you, kid…?” His bushy eyebrows furrowed in concern, “Back at Whisperin Rock… you remember that place, right…?”

Oh, that summer camp she got kicked out of only mere days in because she wasn’t even a real psychic?

“Yes, that’s the one.” Cruller answered her thoughts telepathically, “Except… you are psychic, Riva… Always have been… They just wanted you to believe you weren’t…so they could let you go back to society…”

Go…back…? Why wouldn’t she have been allowed to be in society if she was psychic? Isn’t that what the psychonauts are all about?

“You had potential, unlike what Nein Vodello and myself had ever seen from such a young mind… until Raz showed up, of course, but he was slightly older than you were…” He finally grabbed both of her hands, encasing them in his own, “You had such a gift with clairvoyance… it was beyond what the psychonauts ever thought was possible…”

“W-Wait…” She blinked, “You know Raz then? Why didn’t you just let him in the office…?”

“He’s not ready to learn the dark truths I’ve got tucked away in this old noggin…” The old man sighed, “I-I’m not ready for em, either… but… you are. You need to know the truth about yourself… You need to stop disregarding me when I say this: You ARE psychic…”

“B-BUT I’M NOT!” Riva tried to pull her hands away from him, to which he gently released them from their hold, “T-THAT CAMP WAS THE WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME! I THOUGHT I WOULD FIND SOMEWHERE I BELONGED, THAT I WAS GOOD FOR SOMETHING! B-but… I wasn’t… I-I was so full of myself to think I was special! M-My brains just BROKEN—“

“Stop it right there.” His voice became firmer, “Listen to me, before someone comes! Your potent clairvoyance meant we didn’t need any altering technology to convince you of a lie… You are so in tune with other people’s viewpoints and perspectives… you don’t even know what your reality is anymore… Other people tell you who you are, what you do, where you go. No more playin pretend, Riva.”

“I-I…b-but…”

“You were a psychic of high potential even at age 7, with budding specialities in clairvoyance, and hydrokinesis….” He smiled, “You… you made friends with every single piece of me, kid… I took you under my wing to teach you what I knew… but hydrokinesis… was a feared ability due to…well… another incident... When that secret spilled…”

“N-no… I-I can’t be… I-I don’t remember any of this!“

“Nein feared that your age, your diagnosis of autism, both combined with your psychic potential could result in you developing powerful abilities beyond even your own control…” Ford shook his head, “Headquarters wanted to lock ya up for observation in a psychoisolation facility for life… but, Sasha found a loophole. By having someone tell you that their biased perspective was reality, your brain would doubt its own perception, and start to believe them. That’s how we managed to let you leave that campsite with your family…”

By this point Riva was speechless, as countless memories she thought she had selfishly dreamed about returned to her. She fell to her knees, staring at nothing as she was flooded with all that she had forgotten. The ruthless bullying at camp, and their sabotaging of her efforts to learn to use her powers… That time they tried to drown her in the lake and she washed them all ashore on accident… the horror on everyone’s faces… It all actually happened?!

There were some happy things hidden in the mess, though… The time she’d spend drawing the wildlife out there, the cool places to explore… and the single friend she made at camp… That’s right, the cook was always there to comfort her after the other kids picked on her… No, wait, it was the ranger… But then why’d she remember a janitor, and a man watching over the canoes…? Why did they all look the same, identical even…? Then there was one more in a psychonauts uniform…

“There ya go. Now you’re getting it…” His frail hand grabbed one of hers, helping her up with a chuckle. “I should look more familiar to ya now, eh?”

She made eye contact again, and felt so stupid for not noticing this before. Riva always had an interest in the psychonauts, because they seemed like they could tolerate different minds. If her family could afford it, she would even read True Psychic Tales, mainly because she admired the illustrations. How could she not realize she knew Ford “The Founder Of This Whole Place” Cruller until now?!

Yet, at the same time, she felt her eyes water. It was nice to know she had a friend back then, even if he was old enough to be her grandpa. She didn’t say a word, and extended her free arm as an invitation…for something she definitely needed and wouldn’t want to get from Nick. The agent understood, and they hugged for a brief moment. She felt like this had happened before.

“I-I… I’m glad to see you, Mr. Cruller, b-but…” She quickly shifted back to worrying, “I-I am not in the best situation to do much of anything regarding the truth right now… I know Norma is telling Hollis I am the spy in the psychonauts… I-I am going to get locked up in the end anyway… T-they didn’t believe me before… Why would they believe me now—?”

He was gone.

The intercom sounded, with Hollis’ sharp voice ringing out, “Would Riva Beckons please come to the main area IMMEDIATELY!”

[hqbbg]

mistakes.

pairing: tsukishima x reader

anon request: I'm craving for some angst rip. Can I request a tsukishima x reader Angst one shot based on the song "moral of the story" by ashe. The song hit really close to home when the song said " young people fall in with the wrong people sometimes. " and also one of the lyrics kinda reminded me if Tsuki-Y/N 's relationship was strained " fought the whole time should've seen the signs" 😭😭😭😭 Thank you love your writing btw

genre: angst

word count: 1.4K

warnings: toxic relationship

author’s note: ok let me start off by saying I'm SO SO SO SORRY that it took me literally centuries to respond to this!! pls forgive me, dear anon 🥺 not gonna lie, I think this was just a little hard for me to write because the song (although really good) hits really close to home but anyways, I still hope you enjoy it! 💖

“I think we should take a break.”

Time stops as you feel your heart drop to your stomach. Your hands are trembling, and you do your best to hide them from view in your lap under the table you’re sitting at in a café. You chose to do this in public with the purpose of wanting to avoid breaking down in front of him, knowing that the idea of strangers seeing you crying was embarrassing enough to keep you from doing so, but heavy tears still line your eyes, threatening to spill down your cheeks anytime now.

Tsukishima says nothing and you look at him to see him looking back at you with hardly any emotion on his face, a shell of the man you’d fallen in love with.

You’re not sure when exactly everything had gone wrong, or if things were even right from the start.

When you had met, you were kids. You had been playing on your neighborhood playground with some other kids and noticed a commotion nearby, turning your head to see a kid around your age getting pushed to the ground by a group of bullies. You wanted to go over and help but stopped when a tall blond boy walked past and seemed to resolve the issue himself. You wanted to become his friend, so that’s exactly what you did.

Even though you went to different schools, you spent as much time as you could with him, and he seemed to enjoy your company just as much. The two of you had spent a lot of time together, occasionally accompanied by Yamaguchi—the small kid who was getting bullied—and the three of you had become a unique trio. As a result, you had been there whenever Tsukishima babbled on about how great his older brother was and witnessed the moment the image of his perfect brother was shattered into a million pieces.

Tsukishima had changed after that, growing distant and untrusting of those around him, including you. As a result, the two of you had stopped talking until high school; you were determined to become his friend again, doing as much as you could without being annoying.

You remember trying to find little excuses to talk to him during your first year and he’d brush you off every time. By the time your second year had rolled around, he seemed to have gotten used to you again and you were able to be bolder in your actions, asking him to study with you whenever you could. To your surprise, he agreed, and you did your best to get to know him all over again. He was still distant, but you started to pick up on little things he did to show that he cared for you.

The first time he had done something like that was when you had mentioned in passing that you’d been unable to eat breakfast because you were waking up late after staying up studying all night long. You had arrived at your desk one morning at school and saw a carton of milk and some bread sitting there. You had wondered who it was at first until Yamaguchi had asked if you received it because Tsukishima didn’t leave a note or any indication that it was specifically for you.

You weren’t sure when exactly your platonic feelings towards Tsukishima had shifted into something more romantic; all you knew was that you began to feel a little shyer and more nervous around him. He was quick to pick up on this, being as observant as he is, but let you take your time to admit your feelings for him at the end of your second year.

You probably should’ve seen the red flags when he flippantly suggested the two of you to start dating without saying that he returned your feelings, but you blinded yourself with the hopes that things would be okay.

During your third year, things seemed to be going fine, but you didn’t have much experience to make reference to. You thought the fighting and arguing was normal. You thought the neglect and invalidation of your feelings was normal.

“Why are you being so sensitive about this?” Tsukishima had asked you once when you had told him that you felt like he was treating you like a chore rather than a human being.

“You haven’t been answering my texts and calls,” you remember frowning, unable to contain the hurt from showing on your face.

“I told you that I’ve been busy,” he had responded with annoyance.

“I’m not asking for much, Kei,” your frown deepened, a sigh escaping past your lips. “I just feel like I haven’t been able to see you much lately.”

“I’ve had a lot of things to do,” he replied. That wasn’t what you wanted to hear, and he probably knew that. “Look, I’m sorry, okay?”

A lot of your talks had gone like this: you’d bring up a concern, he’d fail to understand, you’d get upset, and he’d apologize for the sake of not wanting to deal with the situation worsening; it was almost like clockwork. Part of you felt bad, as if you were a burden, but there were still moments in between these that gave you hope that Tsukishima cared for you deep down.

You’d go on dates every so often, some ending better than others, but you’d enjoy your time with him, nonetheless. Maybe it was because of the pain you felt more often than not that you’d learned to appreciate the good moments more. Maybe that was the problem.

The two of you ended up choosing to go to the same college and you had hoped that the freedom of not being under your parents’ roof would give you more time to spend with your boyfriend. You had been wrong.

Tsukishima found other things to busy himself with and the few times throughout the week that you’d spend together always ended in some kind of argument. You had gotten used to waking up with puffy eyes from crying yourself to sleep at night and keeping your feelings to yourself because you always felt overdramatic for bringing your concerns forward.

It had gotten to the point where you hadn’t spoken to him in over a week. You stopped texting him, tired of seeing his read receipts with no reply. You stopped calling, annoyed by the automated voice telling you that he was unavailable. You stopped going out of your way for him when he had stopped a long time ago.

Looking back, it’s not like you didn’t see this coming; you just didn’t want to acknowledge it.

You’d made a mistake.

You’d fallen in love with the wrong person.

You’d spent so much of your life trying to pour yourself into someone who could never do the same and you were exhausted.

“Okay.”

Tsukishima’s simple response brings you back to your current reality. He looks unfazed and you know that he’s been expecting this too.

“I just have a question to ask,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady. He raises an eyebrow at you, wordlessly telling you to go on. “Did you ever love me?”

Part of you shouldn’t be surprised when he doesn’t respond right away, but for some reason, your heart still hurts.

“I did.”

“When did you stop?”

You don’t want to know the answer, so you’re not sure why you ask.

“It’s not relevant.”

At least Tsukishima knows you well enough to know that the answer would break you no matter what.

“One last question,” you say, exhaling a shaky breath. “Did you regret ever dating me?”

The silence that follows feels deafening.

“No.”

You have a hard time believing him, though you try your best.

“That’s all I needed to know,” you say softly. You hadn’t even realized that the tears had begun falling until you felt them drip onto your hands.

“Take care of yourself, okay?” Tsukishima sighs heavily as he stands up. “I’m sorry.”

You can’t bring yourself to watch as he leaves you alone one last time. You don’t care that there are people around you as you bury your face in your hands and begin to cry as quietly as you can manage. You’re painfully reminded of both the good and bad memories and the aching in your chest only seems to increase.

Despite all this, if you had the chance to go back and redo anything, you probably wouldn’t. You made a mistake, but you were going to learn from this.

You had simply fallen in love with the wrong person.

[mcbenson25]

Fight The Good Fight For You (Barba X OFC)

Request: *OFC works with SVU and during a case recognizes the man who abused her when she was a teenager, and has a sort of anxiety attack and then she explains what happened to her when she was young to the team and Rafael with whom she has been friends since elementary and she had not said anything of this to anyone out ofo shame. Rafael wants her to testify at the bar so that he can lock him up for life so that he never attacks anyone again he comforts her etc and suddenly they realize that they love each other.*

This request had lots of detail which I love because it just makes it easier to write and I really loved the blurb! Hope you like it! ----------------------------- Louane thought this day would never come. She had prayed that this day would never come.

From the first time she had held the case for she had an uneasy feeling.

It's just another case. No need to make a fuss.

But she never would have thought he would see that face again.

His face.

-------------------------

*12 years ago*

"Louaaaaane!"

Louane giggled as a man she had befriended at the mall weeks ago chased her around the park.

Louane was currently high school senior. She had everything she could have ever asked for. Looks, friends, grades. It was no wonder she had so many boys trailing behind her. She was no stranger to older men being attracted to her especially since she was more mature than other girls her age.

But there was something about this man in particular that Louane would soon wish she never would have found.

As the man lightly grabbed her from behind and spun her she felt weird.

Something about today was off.

The man who had told her he was 25 in college seemed to sense Louane's uneasiness.

"Let's go back to my place and have some drinks"

There was something in Louane that told her she shouldn't.

"Um actually I have to get home my parents are waiting for me," she lied already backing away.

The man's whole demeanor changed and in an instant Louane felt a sharp prick at her neck and then everything went dark.

When she woke up she was in a hospital bed as her teary eyed mother explained to her how the man had raped her and all Louane could do was cry.

------------------------

"Louane?"

"Louane!"

Someone was gently shaking her.

Where am I?

How did I end up on the floor?

Louane was very confused. Her face felt hot and wet.

She was crying.

"What happened?" -------------------------

Rafael Barba had been prepping Louane for court.

In any other occasion he would've taken the opportunity to flirt with the woman who made his heart flutter ever since elementary school.

But this was different.

Louane wasn't testifying as a detective but as a past victim.

Why hadn't she told him? How had she managed to hide it from him? He was with her almost all the time.

Almost.

That senior year of high school he had been visiting Harvard and the faculty like crazy because they had told him he could receive a very nice scholarship. He had been in Massachusetts a lot during the year.

That's how he never noticed.

Because he left when she needed him the most.

Stupid.

When he found out what Louane had been through he was more than furious. He felt like tracking the man and giving him the beat down of his life.

He hadn't gotten details or specifics about what exactly happened but based on the current victim it wasn't hard to imagine.

Since then Louane had been distant from him. She made up excuses when he wanted to hang out, ignored his texts, but worst of all she had been avoiding him at work. He understood she needed space but it seemed as if she never wanted anything to do with him again.

Which is why it felt intensely awkward being in a courtroom by themselves.

He didn't know what to say or if he should say anything.

"Let's just get this done" Louane said.

He nodded, "Alright. Just remember that the questions I'm going to ask you are going to make you relive what happened and I need you to tell me if it becomes to much okay?"

Louane nodded back.

And so began their session.

It had been easy at first. They were simple, broad, yes-or-no questions.

Were you raped? Yes.

Was the defendant the man who raped you? Yes.

Did you want to have sex with the defendant? No.

Then came the inevitable question of how it happened.

Louane had started to tell him before she started hyperventilating. She tried to stand but was shaking and gasping for breath as tears fell down her face.

Barba was quick to get to her and she had gone limp so he sat her on the floor.

She began to sob and scream, "STOP IT! MAKE IT STOP!"

Rafael felt his heart shatter. He didn't know what to do or how to comfort her. He felt his own eyes water as he held her and gently shook her trying to get her back to reality. Back to him. ------------------

"What happened?"

Louane felt weak and small as she recognized the man holding her.

Her best friend.

"You had an anxiety attack," he said softly.

Louane felt a wave of embarrassment as she tried to push Rafael away from her. She hated that her childhood best friend was seeing her like this. He probably didn't even want to be friends after finding out how stupid she had been.

But Rafael had had enough.

"Why do you keep pushing me away? Can't you see its breaking my entire being to see you like this? Can't you see how it hurts me? How it kills me? The worst part is that you had to live with this for years and didn't tell me. I blame myself for what happened to you. If I hadn't been so obsessed with Harvard, if I hadn't left you none of this would have happened. All this time all I've wanted was to be there for you. You don't ever have to be alone with your pain ever again. I would do anything, anything, to see your smile to hear you laugh. I love you Louane and I can't keep seeing you drown in your pain like this."

Louane gaped at her best friend. All of a sudden every wrinkle was visible, every line and curve on his face, the subtle stubble that was growing on his face. Louane felt lightheaded.

Of course he didn't hate her.

He loved her.

Louane felt a new choke of sobs form in her throat. But this time joy accompanied it.

The joy of knowing that she was loved by the man who had and would always be with her no matter what. She knew that with him she would never have to fight alone again.

Because he would be there to fight the good fight for her.

My lovelies!!! I know I've been inconsistent with posting and I truly apologize! I hope you like this as much as I did! Remember to follow my account to keep up with new updates or series and drop those requests/comments!

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Redux! Oct. 13, 2020)

Gooooood evening good evening good evening, all! I started the VOD late for this recap and somehow the first four or so minutes of the show have a Twitch audio copyright claim, so I am reduced to only reading Brian's lips when he asks if we're on the internet. Hilariously, Marisha's background room is a comfy-looking blue/gold fabric wall with a ceramic colorful abstract lamp and a yellow silk scarf over the lampshade, and Taliesin's is an industrial looking games room in grey and black with multiple monitors, overhead speakers, and mysterious metal fixtures behind him. What a treasure this group is, honestly.

Tonight's guests: Marisha Ray & Taliesin Jaffe, discussing episodes 110 and 111 again. I wildly speculate once more about what might have caused their absence: jury duty? Sam appearing on The Masked Singer? Something to do with the animated show? One day, we’ll know, one day... (One day this “copyrighted audio” section will come back from the wars, too. Ugh!) Finally! The audio comes back to reveal Brian discussing the endless reality of digital meetings and Marisha talking about (I think) her glare-reducing glasses she’s wearing. Welcome to the New Age (welcome to the New Age, to the New Age).

Announcements: Marisha suggests checking out Dimension20, another live tabletop gaming group, which premieres live on Wednesdays at 4pm (CollegeHumor). 

Brian immediately wants to know how they feel about the revelation that Molly is alive. Taliesin’s personal reaction: he “knows some things” he can’t talk about and is aware of several possibilities that might be going on, but had a sneaking suspicion that there would not be a body for them to find. He says it’s almost all there for anyone to see in past material. Marisha’s personal reaction: she just wants to know how she’s doing with her theories, & was trying to block Tal’s face out deliberately as she was going off on her theories in the last episode. Taliesin says he thought her ideas were pretty good!

Cad has no clue what to think - it’s like listening to your friends talk about Buffy. Marisha thought it was a 50/50 Molly would still be there, but Beau had no idea. Not that it mattered, because as soon as Matt went through with it the reveal still blew their minds. Tal laid out his plans for the character with Matt during Campaign One (towards the end) after they all got their VM tattoos.

It is a “horrifying and gross” thing to dig up a body, and Beau was pretty reluctant to do it. Tal, as Cad: “Sometimes dead’s better.” The moral quandary of trying to speak with a dead friend was very different here than the frequent occasions they used the spell in C1.

Taliesin says his poker face is very bad, so it’s easier for him to over-react and let it all play out. The only other player he can see very easily from his place in their current setup is Travis, and because he knows Travis doesn’t watch TM, tweet, or participate in social media, he admits he thoroughly enjoyed watching Travis freak out at his freaking out. He says he only knew about 20% of what Matt described at the end of that episode. He was picking things to mug to increase Travis’s surprise. I love this so much.

Taliesin provided the table left leg shake; Travis provided table right. Ha!

Beau is really accepting her role in the Cobalt Soul. It’s good when “as a person, you feel like you can settle into your calling. Sometimes you can do more from the inside than fighting from the outside.” It’s a mirrored but opposite path of Keyleth from C1; Beau felt like she was too good for her duty, while Keyleth thought she wasn’t good enough.

Caduceus is not a big believer in jumping to conclusions. He does have an idea/notion of the “city of the undead” and thinks all this necrotic energy must come from somewhere, and wonders if this is the “capital of anti-death.” He’s willing to believe whatever he sees. This is one of the few things that trigger a bit of loathing and disgust in him. It was terrifying that the Wildmother didn’t know anything.

Beau is pretty confident in her Charlie Day impression laying-out-the-research last episode. She enjoyed taking the things that were known & extrapolating around them; this is a huge facet of Marisha’s own personality and she really enjoys it, so she built a character this time that would allow that kind of puzzle-solving. It’s also why she repeatedly notes when Beau journals, so she can avoid metagaming. Trent’s mention of Vess Durogna’s tomb raiding was completely circumstantial, and the only reason she’d made the connection to the Tombtakers was because she’d recently reviewed those notes for a separate unannounced project. Sometimes she tries to make connections and Matt is like, “It was...just descriptive. Just flavor. The curtains were red...” and she has to discard a paragraph of notes. She feels like it’s still something they have to do because of “look at what he does! Look! It’s totally valid!”

Cosplay of the Week: @kitsunstudios with a gorgeous Caduceus with a very intricate silk vest.

Caduceus’s takedown of Trent! One of my favorite moments in the entirety of C2. Taliesin felt Trent was an asshole; Caduceus felt sorry for him because of how dumb he thought he was. Caduceus’s response was "this is the dumbest man I’ve ever met in my life. He’s so dumb! Is nobody going to tell this guy how dumb he is? Oh, they’re all freaked out. Somebody needs to tell this guy he’s an idiot before somebody gets hurt.” (Marisha: “Before?”) Tal says it was the product of several years of therapy and many drunk conversations with Whitney Moore. It was from a genuine place of concern from Caduceus. “How are you allowed to have this much power and be that dumb?”

Brian loved how funny it was to watch everyone tiptoe around Trent and then Caduceus bulldoze through the end of the meal.

Taliesin: “Damage doesn’t make you interesting or better. It’s not what makes you good. Character isn’t found in damage. Just recovery.”

Brian & Marisha commiserate going through the stage where believing surviving something automatically made you a stronger person, better for the pain; instead it just meant you had to pick up the pieces after. Marisha talks about how strength through survival may be true for some people, but it shouldn’t be considered a necessity. Taliesin talks about how he used to think he had to be miserable to write. Brian talks about how believing he liked reading and writing miserable things only limited him for years.

Marisha feels it’s a C2 theme that almost all the PCs have someone trying to handwave or take credit for their accomplishments or explain their pain as being for their own good (Trent, Beau’s dad, Obann). She thinks it’s interesting to see all the various ways people try to take credit for your work/delegitimize you as a person. She loves that RPGs allow you to explore these odd moralities in interesting ways. The only way to fight it is to have a sense of your own self-worth, which is a problem a lot of the M9 started with.

Caduceus likes everyone, and really likes people who appear to need role models (Eodwulf). “With the right friends and the right bar and the right attitude, I think he’d be okay. Come over here where it’s so much better. That seems like an exhausting friendship that you have there.”

Marisha loves the mix of personalities in the M9; Veth, Cad, & Jester were all “we kind of like them!” after the dinner, and she immediately made eye contact with Travis and they both shook their heads. She knows Beau has to go along with it for Caleb’s sake for now, but she & Fjord are pretty sus of Trent’s proteges.

Beau is less concerned about Artagan’s relationship to Jester because “he showed his ass--she’s less worried about Jester now because a little of the magic is gone.” It’s a little like becoming an adult and realizing your parents are also just adults & human. Caduceus wasn’t suspicious of the Traveler for a long time until they got to the island. Aside: Taliesin loves the pantheon in D&D. “The notion of attempting to apply common Western conceptions of religion to a world where you have a pantheon of interventionist gods as baseline makes no sense to me. Everyone admits that every other god is there and doing shit; it has more in common with ancient Rome than anything else.” Now that he knows it was a con, he feels the wind had been taken out of it. He does have a sense that Jester’s gotten back together with an ex: “I hope that I’m really happy for you.” They’re both interested to see how Jester navigates the new relationship.

My internet goes out, of course. I panic for a second, thinking I’ve lost everything above, but all is well! Thanks, Form History Control addon!

Marisha loved punching Artagan, but regretting rolling so poorly. “I miss violence.” Dani lets us know it’s been about four episodes since the last battle.

There’s no way the Cobalt Reserve doesn’t have a single document on the Eyes of Nine. Beau believes “there are no real secrets” because people are just bad at not writing things down. For there to be no information at all seems really suspicious for her.

Fanart of the Week: @oddalchemist on twitter with some awesome Beau conspiracy red-thread boards overlaid a distant shadowy Molly walking away.

Caduceus feels a little guilty for really enjoying his time right now with the M9 and not wanting to go home. He’s starting to suspect that he’s going to go home very different than when he left. “He has the softest problems. I don’t know if I want to move back in with Mom & Dad.”

Beau is trying to get comfortable with the idea of being happy. Jester is probably Beau’s first real best friend & one of the first healthy female friendships she’s ever had. As long as she still has Jester in her life, she doesn’t care. For Yasha... “At the end of the day, Beau is a lonely person and has always been a lonely person. And I think you kinda reach this point where once you’re not lonely anymore, you can kind of come out of the fog and realize that was horrible! And terrifying! And is even more terrifying now that I know what I could have, and I don’t want to go back to that. At the end of the day Beau doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. There’s always been that flirtation with Yasha, but everyone had to figure their own shit out. And now it feels like it’s coming out a little bit of that haze, maybe this actually could be...” There are a lot of ways they complement each other & are good-different from each other. Marisha believes people can be attracted to more than person at once.

Caduceus doesn’t think nature turned against him on Rumblecusp, it was just a reality of nature being dangerous and violent. “He has a complex relationship with nature.” He doesn’t expect special treatment.

Thoughts on the mansion: “Man, it’s nice to be seen.” Marisha: “I don’t know how I ended up becoming the Scanlan of this campaign, but I’m living for it.” It felt like an echo of “I’m better for having known you.” They compare Marisha taking specific notes on the campaign to Liam taking specific notes on people’s favorite tapestries, comics, etc.

They talk about missing theme parks and daydream a park version of the mansion in CritRoleLand. It’s lovely.

Taliesin never expected Divine Intervention to work; he just wanted to roll some dice. He’s still processing what he saw/heard. They all agree it was very useful in the Vokodo fight.

Vilya! Marisha: “Ah! Ah! Ah!” As a player, Marisha was so deep in Beau’s eyes she didn’t pick up it was Vilya at first (especially since Matt really emphasized they should not be looking for C1 NPCs). Marisha’s brain melted. She bawled her eyes out on the ride home after that episode. Right after it ended, Laura told Marisha “Keyleth finally gets her happy ending,” and it makes Marisha emotional again since Keyleth’s story ended so bittersweetly. She talks about the very real feelings of “just wanting them to be happy, though!” She went back and listened to all her old Keyleth playlists. Everyone was teary after the episode. “Everyone has these 100% real memories of being these characters and having these good times.”

And that’s that for that! Thanks for your patience, all, and is it Thursday yet?

[pinepickled-jujutsukaisen]

The Three Dilfs plus the Twink Fathers if they had to joint parent the JJK kids.

Gojo

So just be conscious that I imagine the trio to be baby/toddler ages

Definitely the most jealous out of the four.

He won't say it, but hearing about how Yuji had the time of his life with Nanami and how Nobara adores Touji makes his blood boil

But when Megumi gives him those puppy dog eyes, he can't stay mad

So very jealous but also very whipped

The type of dad who tries to act all cool and hip with the kids but in reality is boomer

No clue how to care for a young child though. Rest in pieces, Babygumi.

Really dependant on Getou for the more dirty parts of parenting.

He refuses to change a diaper for the longest time until he does it once when no one is home bc Yuji was crying up a storm and he gets over it

Doesn't baby proof the house. At all.

I'll say it again

Rest In Pieces, BabyGumi.

Doesn't know where kids like to hang out. He takes them to Starbucks and then the mall, where Nobara proceeds to suck his cash directly from his bank account

Toji taught her well, after all.

Gojou has two ways to discipline them- let them see the consequences of their actions and then obnoxiously help them fix it (primarily when the kids were younger) or dangle them off a cliff while singing songs like a cracked out gremlin.

Gojou doesn't need to punish often, since in this universe I've made up he primarily watched over Yuta and Panda, who are nice little ones.

Still insists on kissing them all on the forehead and tucking them in at night

Getou

It takes a while for him to warm up to child rearing

He's still struggling with his "monkey" mentality, and young children are rife for it.

Though maybe as he's watching a baby Nobara sleep, watching carefully the way parents do as though to make sure she breathes through the night, he snuffs out all curses in the area.

After that night, the taste of curses- like a rag, used to clean up vomit- isn't so unbearable anymore.

Not when he feels such conviction in his soul

So slowly, as he holds Yuji's hands to help him take his first steps, as he tells Megumi what "miscellaneous" means, as he shows Nobara how to make cursed dolls...

Monkeys don't seem so bad anymore

But the zookeepers do

If you catch my drift

Getou doesn't believe in physical punishment, but he is a strict parent when it comes to life-decisions

Not in the way you'd expect though.

I.e., if Megumi was torn between leaving the jujutsu world or going to college, Getou would be there to help him find a third solution

And punishment was never his style. Swallow enough vomit-stained rags, you begin to feel disgusted over such things.

Instead, he guides. A distant hand that points in a direction and tells you where it leads.

Also hopeless with what kids like. He let's Yuji wander around Tokyo and whatever catches his eye, Getou suggests.

Nanami

Seems like a distant father at first

But his face is just like that

Genuine sucker for his kids

They have him wrapped around their tiny little fingers

The best out of the three of them with young children

And minors in general

Because- and sit down, this might shock you- he treats them like normal human beings

Nanami didn't have the best childhood, not to mention that many of his close friends didn't either, so taking care of children is something that's very close to his heart

So he likes to keep the kiddos close to his heart too

It made quite a sight, to see Nobara being lugged around in a baby bjorn, drooling all over his jacket while he exorcized curses.

The only parent out of the three mentioned that uses Vicks Vapor rub

If you know you know

Getou is more of a straight medicine kind of guy, and Gojo's never gotten sick in his life.

Nanami definitely got stuck with daiper duty when both Gojo and Getou refused

But he loves them

Tells the three of them that he's proud of them and loves them every chance he gets

Definitely one to have his heart melt when they fall asleep on him.

It's like the rule of cats. He is now legally obligated to stay completely still until the child awakes

That's his initial reaction, but then he remembers his rationality and picks them up and tucks them into bed.

Has definitely slept kneeling on the floor next to Megumi's bed when the boy grabbed his sleeve while sleeping.

Yuji was also a colicky baby, and Nanami found that putting him in a pot of water on the counter was an easy way to get him to be quiet

Nobara was mischevious. The second she could walk, it was over. Nanami burns 500 calories a day chasing her around.

And all of these memories are lovingly stored in his 6,000 baby albums.

Sukuna

Surprisingly good with babies

Extremely good with young children

And very nice with teenagers when he puts his mind to it.

Back in Sukuna's day, in his little social circle, being bad with kids was taboo.

You either are good with kids and love them to death or fuck you

So naturally, Sukuna took the "good with kids" route

He'll say a bunch of bluster about power and ruthlessness if you ask him

But the truth is that he adores children, and wouldn't have put in the effort to be good with them if he didn't already want to.

BabyGumi is such a tsundere with him

Always pouts and looks on the verge of crying when Sukuna is nearby or talking to him, refusing to respond without a wobble in his voice to Sukuna's questions

But the second Sukuna leaves, it's chaos.

He gets all sad and mopey, holding on to the tiger plushie Sukuna gave him like his life depends on it.

Sukuna has learned to just ignore BabyGumi's pouts and teary eyes and cradle the toddler close

And Megumi has no complaints being held in Sukuna's arms

He feels safe there.

The same can not be said for Yuji.

Sukuna scares him, but poor baby gets too distracted with other things when Sukuna is around to remember.

He'll be seated in Sukuna's lap, happily pulling flowers from the ground and giving them to the cursed spirit

And then when Gojo asks him how his playdate with Sukuna was, he bursts into tears and said it was terrifying

Makes for very awkward encounters, as Gojo saw for himself that Itadori was having fun

Nobara loves him

Genuinely wants to get his tattoos one day

And become a powerful sorceror like he was

He gives the best hugs (four arms!!!) So

Always indulges her when she rambles about her cursed dolls

And spoils her rotten.

Touji

Ah yes

The crusty anarchist (affectionate)

Megumi is also a big tsundere bby with this man.

The only one of his fathers he actually projects affection to is Gojo, and that's because Megumi knows his ass is one big jelly bean

As in mushy on the inside, hard on the outside, and very very jealous.

But Megumi will pout and claim not to like anything Touji does

Which really weighs on the man

He knows he's failed Megumi a bunch of times, and knows he deserves to be rebuffed

But it still hurts

Thankfully, Megumi is a sensitive kiddy, and even if he goes too far and Touji completely retreats within himself, Megumi tries to make it right.

Touji is so very whipped for his son.

The slightest bit of love Megumi shows makes his week.

And he's a very gentle father too

Is a staunch advocate against hitting children

His own shitty childhood paired with having a kid as quiet and reserved as Megumi, even if the kid wants to let loose but wont, stresses him out greatly.

Yuji also concerns him

Because he's very innocent, naive, and kind.

Touji knows he's gonna be trampled on.

So he does his best to sort of introduce more darker topics and harsh realities to Yuji without breaking the poor kid.

All in all, he's a depressed, cynical dad, who's trying to give his kids a better life and more tools to survive than he had.

DEFINATELY not the type of parent to hold the child's better life against them.

Tries to be loving, smothers the three kiddos in smoochies and lovingly made meals.

He doesn't really know what he's doing, but he prioritizes the kiddos safety and happiness first and foremost.

But he's definitely not as wealthy or stable as the others, and he knows it.

Whenever Nobara wants to go wander the mall, Touji struggles to swallow his pride every time.

He has the girl set a date, and between that day and the day they need to go to the mall, Touji works his ass off to save up.

He usually only needs to worry about money to keep himself afloat and leisure money for the kids

Since they usually eat at one of the others houses and stay the night there too

Yuji is the one he finds the easiest to be with when money is tight

Yuji doesn't have a habit of asking things from Touji- leftover instincts from when his Grandfather, also poor, took care of him.

So less stress is on Touji to take Yuji somewhere nice when it's just the two of them

Megumi is similar, but not quite.

Megumi isn't really interested in material things or going out to eat very often

But he adores going to temples and being with the monks.

As Touji used to do.

It's bitter and painful to take Megumi to the temple where he used to worship

But he does it.

His love is sacrifice, humility, and acceptance.

But slowly, slowly, he's accepting help from the other dads.

I hope you liked it! This was just a spur of the moment thing, not a lot of hard thought and intricate story telling was put into this, but I hope you enjoyed anyway. This is a mix of my personal headcanons and canon lore, so feel free to drop your own headcanons in the comments!

[kuraiandroger]

Diasomnia Relationship Headcanons

Basically what the title says, they’re my favorite dorm and I’ve projected on them a lot so I hope I’m not alone in how I see these dynamics </3 Enjoy!

 Lilia and Malleus

I see them as parent and child, even though Malleus seems to want to hide that sometimes. It’s probably because of his title and his age gap with the other children in the “family”  that maybe he feels embarrassed about Lilia doting on him, but oh well. I still see him as a child compared to Lilia (despite the fact that he literally is lol) because he seems to be a lot less present in the kids’ lives, and we’ve gotten several glimpses of his apparent emotional immaturity (Avoiding his problems, throwing “lightning tantrums”, sulking, etc). Paired with the fact that Lilia covers for him a LOT while still acknowledging these issues he has... I just can’t see them as equals lol. I only see a father and his very mildly unruly lol son. U_U It’s okay Malmal I know you’re trying your best.

Lilia and Silver

A rather similar relationship to Lilia and Malleus, to be honest. It’s just a lot more open, and I suspect that’s because Silver is sort of young and he doesn’t really have anyone else he’d rather run off with. His temperament is different than Malleus to an extent; Silver doesn’t strike me as a child with a single rebellious bone in his body, so he has no problems hanging out with and admiring his old man. I like to think Lilia had a very tender bond with both of his sons when they were infants, and some of that shows still in his relationship with Silver. They are just good ol dad and son (but really, dad, I’m fine with doing the cooking for tonight).

Lilia and Sebek

Sebek himself has called Lilia his mentor, and I really think that’s the basis of what they are, but I also think Lilia takes some of the liberty of acting like a dad to Sebek too sometimes. I believe Sebek was very present in Silver’s childhood so he is comfortable with Lilia’s authority. A good example of this was when Lilia told Sebek to use a quieter voice in Sam’s shop, much like the way a parent would scold their child lol. Sebek, too, while admittedly gullible, seems to heed Lilia’s advice with great respect, such as when he showed the other first years his secret natto ingredient that he’d heard was good from Lilia.

Malleus and Silver

Contrary to what most people think (due to Malleus’ status as Silver’s guardian), I don’t entirely see him as “Silver’s other dad.” Here’s where I start projecting lmao because I had a sibling who was many years older than me myself, so I sort of get the “older sibling who I respect because they are that much older than me but I also barely know them” vibe from these two. I am sure that Malleus took responsibility for Silver when needed, but it’s just really obvious to me that Lilia is the primary parent and Mal almost certainly looked to him for advice. I dunno, I could be completely wrong about this one, but I am just rather hung up on Lilia still viewing Malleus as his child despite the fact that he is long grown and therefore Malleus doesn’t seem to place the same priority on parenting Silver that Lilia does (which, yeah, I realize could very well be because of Malleus’ title and all). 

Some people have said it could’ve been out of respect, but I’ve also taken into account how little Silver seems to acknowledge Malleus as anything more than his liege (he didn’t even know very much about Malleus’ interest in gargoyles which....blows my mind a little lol) and really calls Lilia his father instead. There is a peculiar blend of comfort and distance between Malleus and Silver that I personally don’t entirely see as a parent-child dynamic </3. For the most part, I just see these two as distant age-gap siblings wherein the older one might’ve helped raise the younger one but was too much older than the younger sibling to really connect with them  (This could change during the Diasomnia chapter, but yeah). TL;DR: Distant older sibling Mal, as evidenced by Lilia’s much higher influence as the true “father” figure.

Malleus and Sebek

A pretty obvious lord-and-knight dynamic here lol. Malleus seems pretty indifferent to Sebek’s devotion, but Sebek still wants to impress him anyways. I’m sure Malleus just lets him do whatever because Sebek’s a little kid to him lmao

Silver and Sebek

This one! My favorite one! Their sibling-like dynamic really stands out to me because again, I have lived it lmao. I like to see them as a sibling rivalry because it’s very refreshing to see within a piece of media that also focuses on sibling characters that do get along (the Leeches, etc). These two tend to bicker, and they only hang out when they have to (such as when the whole family is together, or when they’re at their school club), and seem to have their own separate social lives despite knowing a lot about each other. I’ve noticed they also pick on each other for things the other cannot control (such as Sebek’s “annoying” voice, or Silver’s sleep disorder). As someone who has a sibling I really don’t get along with sometimes, it just hits home lol.

I’ve noticed that something else us bratty siblings will do, is tend to ignore any traits we have in common in favor of shaming the things we don’t share... Which is very much something that Sebek and Silver do to one another. In reality, I really do think they have rather similar personalities, but the fact that each one expresses it so differently causes them to fight (for example, Silver and Sebek are both very blunt but careful individuals, yet their level of enthusiasm for what they do is a source of conflict). Despite this, sibling rivalry-dynamic characters will still have moments where they get along, such as when they share an activity, like swordfighting.

I like to think that while Sebek is quite literally just Silver’s childhood friend, they have reached a level of comfort (and annoyance) with one another after years of growing up together that their dynamic manifests the way argumentative siblings do, and I love that for them.

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SOOO uh, thank you for reading if you did! This is my first text post in a really long time, please be nice to me if you happen to disagree with any of this, it’s just headcanons! Sorry if it’s a bit wordy at times too, I like to shove as much in as I can. </3 Anywho, we’ll get a better scope when Diasomnia’s chapter releases someday, haha.