#a good song for them at this part is the lightning strike by snow patrol

[trashsketch]

What do you like about Killua and Gon as characters and what don't you like/make you sad? What kind of development could there be for both of them? Songs that are associated with them ( Togashi has his own lmao playlist) ? Who will be taller in height ?

anon they make me insane :'D What i love about them is what makes me very sad too hdkfjdkfj i think a lot about how they are both very much willing to die for each other, i still can't believe that's canon and it happened

I don't know if I want them to show up again in the manga as its ongoing right now, I feel like they're safe doing their own thing until they have to appear again (and Killua is more likely gonna show up again first because the story might tie back to Nanika because she originated from the dark continent). As for what kind of development I hope to see for them...maybe a reunion for them where they both come to terms with what happened during the chimera ant arc. lots of things could happen! lots of them have already been written in fics (and my god, the fics are so good. this is what you get for shipping a popular ship in an old fandom: years and years of gems to read at your own time. I love it here)

One song I associate with both of them is the entire 3 part song of the Lightning Strike by Snow Patrol, I drew fanart of some verses from the first part, but a whole 3 part story is in my head when I listen to it....from a dream that Gon has of seeing Killua shrouded in lightning, to a memory Killua has of following Gon back to whale island for the first time, to an eventual reunion when they grow older :') I will....revisit this idea someday i swear

but anyway these lyrics?

And in the middle of the flood, I felt my worth When you held onto me like I was your little life raft Please know that you were mine as well

...they make me go apeshit!!!!! this is 100% how i view killugon's dynamic. this 14min song is very self indulgent. i hope you too have a song that you associate with killugon that is highly self indulgent and makes you scream

Also hands down I think killua's gonna be taller. all I do is look at silva and ging! even if we consider gon-san's height, i still think killua's gonna be a smidge taller as they age.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 27)

The closer we get to the end, the more nervous I am, and maybe you are too, because things are going to go horribly awry and only suffering is to come. Fate is adamant that a specific twelve year old must die, and we really have no choice but to watch it all unfold.

In this part, we will discuss the chapters building up to the New Year's Concert, where Reo will attempt to assassinate the ESP.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Six

Ruka finds Natsume in the snow. He asks where he’s been, and Natsume responds that he went to see Mikan. Natsume imagines that Ruka will be jealous, because he feels guilty. He’d been putting his own wants first this whole night, and he hadn’t even considered Ruka.

Expectation vs. Reality. Ruka, best boy.

But Ruka is not jealous, or he’s very good at hiding it. He beams at Natsume, offering only congratulations and support. He’s happy for them, that both of their wishes came true. In fact, Ruka was also wishing for it, that Mikan and Natsume could find each other.

Natsume apologizes, because Ruka’s cheerful support only makes him feel more guilty, but he doesn’t tell him for what. He will not recount the details of the night, particularly of the many kisses shared between him and Mikan.

There’s a happy moment between Natsume and Ruka until, of course, Natsume starts coughing violently. He coughs up blood again, and when Ruka asks him if he’s okay, he’s ready to downplay it, already hiding his hand so that his best friend won’t worry. But Ruka grabs his hand and looks at the blood on the glove, and there’s a somber moment between them. Natsume tries to talk, but Ruka knows he’s just going to try and downplay it again, so he interrupts.

The best friendship in all of fiction. I stand by this forever. You can't change my mind.

Ruka has watched Natsume suffer the whole time they’ve been at the academy, even before then. He might not have had all the details, but he’s known that Natsume’s life was agony. He was helpless, and even became a burden (in his own view, not Natsume’s). He pleads with Natsume not to hide from him anymore. They’re meant to be best friends, and all Ruka has ever wanted was to be Natsume’s support system, but Natsume shut him out in the guise of protecting him. He keeps all his pain locked away and deals with it on his own.

Watching someone you love suffer and not being able to do anything about it is a tremendous pain, Ruka says. Natsume must sympathize. He will say something similar later on about Mikan’s situation.

Ruka loves Natsume. Natsume might have thought that he dragged his only friend into a bottomless pit of despair but Ruka asserts he’s never once regretted following him to the academy, not even for a second.

Ruka is confessing now. Natsume must know now that his existence is important to at least two people who love him unconditionally, but he doesn’t internalize it. Maybe he can’t. He’s too stuck in the role of martyr that straying from it would go against the very fabric of his own identity. He exists and has always existed to protect others. Protecting himself or even considering himself doesn’t align with that identity. No matter how much Mikan and Ruka plead with him to keep himself safe, he can’t abide. They’re more important than he is. He fails to see how much heartbreak and sorrow he will leave in his wake of self-destruction.

Natsume can’t internalize it. He can’t take it in and change course. It’s too late for that, in his mind. But he can tell Ruka the truth, because supporting Natsume is all Ruka wants.

He confesses too. He’s afraid. He doesn’t like thinking about the future, not even a year from now, because he’s scared he’ll be dead by then.

He says his secret fear out loud, that he won’t be able to protect her, and it’s still so heart-breaking that he still only sees his own value in how much he can protect people. He will shorten his own life to get her out of the darkness she’s ended up in. He doesn’t see worth in his existence just for the sake of living, of breathing, of smiling and laughing and crying and existing. Instead, his value is conditional. He is only so good as he is able to protect others and when he can’t anymore, then he is no longer valuable. It’s a glaring sign of a ridiculously low self-esteem.

He wants to choose life! He wants to live! Oh, this makes it worse...

But something has changed. He doesn’t want to die. He wants to live and be with her forever. He can’t be with her if he’s dead. It’s a selfish thought, and as I’ve been saying, that’s a wonderful thing. If only that selfish impulse were stronger, than maybe things wouldn’t be so doomed in the coming week. But Natsume’s ingrained martyr complex is stronger than anything, and his new flicker of selfishness doesn’t stand a chance.

Ruka promises he’ll do anything to support Natsume and Mikan’s future together. And so Natsume asks Ruka to protect Mikan if he’s no longer able to.

I personally don’t think he’s handing Mikan over here. This whole conversation’s context is specifically about protecting Mikan, and how Natsume wants only to keep her safe, even at the expense of his own life (though he’s actually more cavalier with that than he lets on, so it’s not much of an “even”, is it?). If Natsume is dead, he wants somebody he trusts to watch over her and prioritize her as he has. Who better than Ruka, who loves Mikan too and will want to keep her safe as well?

Or. You could just. Not die. Just a thought.

Natsume has never treated Mikan as an object to be won. He’s in fact made several comments about not “competing” at all. If he was able to give Mikan to Ruka, those two would be together now already and Natsume wouldn’t be the one holding Mikan’s alice stone. He is not any more capable of giving her away then he’s been before, and he’s less motivated to now than he’s ever been. Mikan is his, after all. Why would he “give her away” so soon after promising to be together forever?

He’s only concerned with Mikan’s safety and freedom here. If he dies in the pursuit of that, which he will, then someone else needs to make sure she’s safe and free. What she does with that safety and freedom is not in his or Ruka’s or anyone’s hands. I imagine Natsume, who got jealous of Mikan thinking of all her important people when making her alice stone would also get jealous at the thought of Mikan falling in love with somebody after his death. It might occur in the distant future, but it probably wouldn’t be any fun to imagine.

You may disagree with me, but I just can’t see it that way. I just don’t see it.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Seven

It’s New Year’s. Mikan’s birthday. There’s a celebration happening in the dorms, just like last year, but Natsume isn’t dressed in traditional garb to welcome the new year and feast like all the other students.

Instead, he’s waiting for Narumi in a hallway.

He wants all the information he can get, so he can get Mikan out of her cage sooner. Narumi isn’t talking, always willing to act dumb to get out of things. But Natsume knows better. He saw Narumi in the flashbacks, and knows how much Narumi loved Yuka. He would’ve done anything for her, even if it resulted in his own death. Narumi should understand how Natsume feels, then. He knows Mikan is suffering and in danger, but he can’t do anything about it. He says something to the effect that he shouldn’t even be living at this point, again reiterating that his life only has value if he’s able to protect people, particularly Mikan. If he’s unable to do that, then he might as well die. There’s really no difference, he says.

Jeez, kid, relax.

Narumi tries to point out that Natsume is dying, as if perhaps the kid is unaware of this, but Natsume grabs him and declares that he will not end up like him. Natsume seems to understand Narumi (probably more than I can! Haha) and that his life has been empty and soulless for a long time. Narumi is full of regret and has been for years, but Natsume won’t be like that. He won’t live with regret. He’ll do anything he can to save Mikan, and he’ll die without a single regret. He also claims he won’t give up on the idea of sharing a future with Mikan, and that makes the inevitable doom of their romance all the more tragic. Natsume isn’t planning on dying. He’s not imagining that he doesn’t even have a full two days left to live. He’s thinking he’ll push himself to the end of his rope, save Mikan, and then live happily ever after. It’s naive and childish and ridiculous that he really believes he can have his cake and eat it too, but he does with his whole heart.

"I want to live," is enough for me. I stopped reading after that. LET THIS KID LIVE.

Natsume tells Narumi to stop underestimating him for his age. But Narumi agrees: he doesn’t want Natsume or any of the other kids to end up like him and his generation did. He wants things to be better, for the new generation to have a happy and hopeful future to look forward to instead of surrendering to a life of misery and regret.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Nine

Natsume and Ruka are something like partners-in-crime now. They both know that taking out the ESP is the only way to free Mikan. They are spying on Reo, who has come under the guise of performing for the New Year’s concert, who spills that Z wants to assassinate the ESP.

Tsubasa and Tono quickly join the conversation, although they’re somewhat unwanted.

Reo keeps talking, and now all four of them are privy to his plan. Tono scolds Natsume for trying to get involved when it’s obvious Z is already on the case. Let them do it, he says. Keep yourself safe instead of putting everything on your own shoulders. Naturally, this is Natsume we’re talking about, so no amount of logic will get into his head, but it was worth a try, Tono.

Natsume's little face here is my favorite. His little angry expressions are always the highlight of any page.

Hearing this warning, Natsume can see the sense in it. He doesn’t want to leave his fiancee alone and heart-broken by his loss (more proof that he doesn’t really believe he’ll die) tomorrow, but to his horror, Koko was reading his thoughts aloud.

Natsume is embarrassed to be put on the spot, and he didn’t want to hurt Ruka’s feelings, so he takes out his anger on Koko. Then he punishes Tsubasa for teasing him about how fast he’s going with Mikan when Tsubasa is actually just slow with Misaki. Then it’s revealed that Tsubasa did finally confess to Misaki and got the answer he wanted, which only pisses Natsume off more, inexplicably. He’d be angry either way, just because it’s Tsubasa. He probably just wants to take the focus off himself and the fact that he’s already proposed to Mikan.

Tsubasa was in fact inspired by Natsume’s commitment to protecting Mikan. He confessed because his kouhai was so determined. But he also expresses concern for Natsume’s recklessness. Protecting people is a worthwhile pursuit, but so is valuing your own life. Other people depend on him and love him, and losing would hurt. He doesn’t have to do everything on his own. Working as a team can ensure his safety and keep him living longer. They’re all on the same page, after all, so why not join forces and get it done more efficiently without Natsume being the martyr again?

Yeah, Natsume, go to therapy. Like, yesterday.

But as the group splits up, Ruka holds Natsume still. He wants to talk about what happened on Christmas, but Natsume doesn’t. He’d rather keep that to himself, not at all willing to hurt Ruka’s feelings after he’s been nothing but supportive.

But he can’t lie, and Ruka has expressed interest in hearing all the truthbombs Natsume can dish out, so he comes clean. They exchanged alice stones. It looks like it pains Natsume to admit it. He’s consumed by guilt for the role he’s played in hurting Ruka. But Ruka is still just happy for him. He again offers congratulations, and all is well until Koko announces that Natsume and Mikan kissed a lot too. Apparently, Natsume has been thinking about the kisses so often and shamelessly to the point that Koko is concerned.

Ruka gets upset, but not out of jealousy. He hits Natsume rather pathetically, adamantly demanding that he be honest and tell him everything instead of keeping secrets all the time. Ruka doesn’t care that Natsume has been “selfish” and has kissed Mikan and gotten engaged with her and met with her. He is a fan! He’s Team NatsuMikan now too! He just wants Natsume to stop lying to him, not even to spare his feelings. If Natsume can’t be honest, then Ruka can’t do his job of supporting him. Friendship is a two-way street and can’t work if the friends can’t rely on each other for help and support. Going through good and tough times together is the key to any lasting relationship, and for that to work Natsume needs to talk to him instead of holding back.

Ruka is so cute here. Absolutely adorable. I shall adopt.

Natsume apologizes and the chapter ends on a light note, with the four of them teasing each other and laughing.

But tomorrow will be a different story. Many horrible things will happen tomorrow night, and the bright future Natsume has finally allowed himself to consider will burn up and die.

Conclusion

In the Rapunzel story, the prince was blinded and forced to walk around the forest unable to look for his lost love. I imagine that's why the chapter title image for Chapter 147 has his face covered in bandages. The story of Rapunzel is a tragic one, but it ends in a happily-ever-after. The consolation we have is that the story of NatsuMikan is more like the story of Rapunzel than of Romeo and Juliet, though it certainly doesn't feel like it for the next thirty-something chapters.

I didn't reread this at all before posting because I'm really tired. Thus, I claim no ownership over any mistakes. They can't be helped.

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[skyphile]

♪ ♪

too much is never enough - florence and the machine (ffxv soundtrack)

my music library is half sappy 3 am songs, half video game soundtracks, and this song is part of the THIRD half, sappy 3 am video game songs!

i don’t know who thought of florence to write songs for this game, but they’re a fricking genius.

it hits harder after you finish the game, but it’s still a very heartfelt song for anyone who listens.

i have two favorite lines and i can’t pick so i’m cheating!!! both of them tug at the feeling of wanting desperately to cling onto something wonderful and beautiful as time is running out below you.

“a year like this passes so strangely, somewhere between sorrow and bliss.”

“oh, grant that i can stay the night, or one more day inside this life.”

i can’t think of other songs like this, but if you can, PLEASE TELL ME.

the lightning strike - snow patrol

this is, hands down, their best song, an absolute masterpiece, and extremely underrated and underappreciated. their entire discography is sooo good and this is the crown jewel.

it has three parts, and they’re all wonderful in my own way, so i’m gonna say my favorite lines per part.

for ‘what if this storm ends’, it’s “i wanna see you as you are now every single day that i am living. painted in flames, all peeling thunder, be the lightning in me that strikes relentless.”

for ‘the sunlight through the flags’, it’s “stop waving your arms, you’re safe and dry. breathe in and drink up the winter sky”.

for ‘daybreak’, it’s “and in the middle of the flood i felt my worth when you held onto me like i was your little life raft. please know that you were mine as well.”

[aethersmoke-and-ash]

Character Profile - Music Edition

Milloux Allard

For many of us music is a source of inspiration for our characters, so I want to know what songs inspire and/or relate to your muse! Chose between 10-15 songs, compile them into an album and tag some friends to share the beat!

Tagged by: @tae-ffxiv​​  (thank you Ambean! <3 )

Tagging: @halcyonic-aether​, @carmen-ffxiv​, @the-hawkeyes​, @vysaldhe​, @dietkoalawithlime​, @yidayidayidamol​, @a-corsairs-chorus​, @hingashi-fox​ (and you, yes you!)

( Also a big shoutout to @atomicdeke​ because I loved how he formatted his version of this with the lyrics! )

Music has always been a huge part of Milloux’s character and development. I’ve posted most of these songs here on this tumblr over the years - and some of these songs are definitely more past than present, but hey.  A link to a full playlist can be found at: milloux.carrd.co - just hit the spotify button!

The Silence - Manchester Orchestra [Link] That was something your father had burned in me Twenty hours out of Homestake eternity "You can go anywhere but you are where you came from"

Punchin' Bag - Cage the Elephant [Link] Heaven help ya 'm telling the truth Heaven help ya she's coming for you Heaven help ya the girl likes to fight Afraid of nothing and she carries a knife

Chicago - Canon Blue [Link] I keep you searching for the thrill of it all I put my hands up to the face in the dark You never liked it till the killing was done You better watch out

Pale Soft Light - Owel [Link] To hide in the pale soft light And stay there until this night Feels like a memory That we are swimming in

The Lightning Strikes - Snow Patrol [Link] Painted in flames All peeling thunder Be the lightning in me That strikes relentless

I heard I had - Dear Rouge [Link] Save me Save me last I'm outnumbered now

Ghosts -  Big Wreck [Link] And if my scars were tattoos I could hide them in plain view If these ghosts let me go I would set fire to them all

Got Soul - the Family Crest [Link] Now that the rain comes down they want you Now that you're moving on they need you Now that the sun goes down, now

Rainy Taxi - Spoon [Link] As the sun goes fading in the west There's an army east that's rising still And when you stand beside me, I feel something stronger than I ever could But if you leave, you better run away for good

At Most a Kiss - Blossoms [Link] I was thinking you were always mine We watched the skies fall down We'll carry on when worlds divide This parting beast that makes no sound

[trickster-archangel]

Ineffable....that’s it.

So, following the latest fashion trends on tumblr, I had my personally tailored Ineffable Husbands Spotify Playlist.

Here she goes….another one….

Yup!

Fact is, there are a lot of awesome playlist out there….listened here and there…but then again, when during a session, you feel like skippin over and over and over, maybe it’s just that you don’t feel like that one is THE Ineffable One, not for you anyway.

And so I had mine too :) Some of the songs are on my personal TOP faves cds…some others were suggested courtesy of youtube and spotify themselves, suggesting similar ones…and sometimes good ones too

Feel free to dig and have a peep - but first, let me tell you something, let me tell you WHY those ones..

And what better, if not quoting part of the song itself? Because, in the end, what makes a song right for the Ineffable Husbands, at least IMHO, is not just a little sentence, it has to be the FEEL, the AMBIANCE…

I must warn you: I am curious, and eclectic. So there is a wide array of styles.

The real feeling of a 6.000 years love

What grows inside their hearts

Some from Crowley’s perspective. Some from Aziraphale’s. Some from God’s herself…

Some are doubles, because the ambiance can really change a lot, depending on who and how sings it.

Oh yes, for two of them I just  wrote down the whole text, because it was just perfect.

So, if these sentences enthrall you, try and have a loolk. And maybe tell me what you think: I may be new to the fandom, and I maybe new to Tumblr at all, but I LOVE to listen (well, read…) to everybody opinion, experience, feeling.

To learn

To move on

To improve

Many thanks, obviously, to @rcmclachlan because everything started with her fanfic https://archiveofourown.org/works/19393168

And then to @rafaelafranzen for Nick Cave

And to @drawlight for being just the wonderful person she is, because most of these came through just while reading her fanfics.

I don’t claim anything on the Velvet Ground’s ones because I had only dug through them after reading @neil-gaiman‘s post about Crowley’s likely favourite ones :)

For a better result, I suggest you the shuffle playing :) 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3vpet6rpZVWrqXzJuMgvQG

…here we go with the lyrics 

Tears In Heaven, Eric Clapton

Would you hold my hand

If I saw you in heaven?

Would you help me stand

If I saw you in heaven?

I’ll find my way through night and day

‘Cause I know I just can’t stay here in heaven

 Crystalised, The xx (+ Martina Topley-Bird featuring Mark Lanegan version)

Things have gotten closer to the sun

And I’ve done things in small doses

So don’t think that I’m pushing you away

When you’re the one that I’ve kept closest

 Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

Forget what we’re told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

 Vincent, Don McLean

Now I think I know

What you tried to say to me

And how you suffered for your sanity

And how you tried to set them free

They would not listen, they’re not listening still

Perhaps they never will

 Endless War, Within Temptation

You keep crawling on

Won’t let it go

You keep holding on

To feel whole

‘Cause you’re fighting an endless war

Hunting a miracle

And when you reach out for stars

They just cut you down

'Cause you’re fighting an endless war

Hunting a miracle

Is it worth dying for

Or are you blinded by, blinded by it all?

A thousand years, Christina Perri

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I’ll love you for a thousand more

Hallelujah, literally everybody

Well baby, I’ve been here before

I’ve seen this room and I’ve walked this floor

I used to live alone before I knew ya

And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch

And love is not a victory march

It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

The Lightning Strike, Snow Patrol

Part I: What if the Storm ends?

I want to see you as you are now

Every single day that I am living

Painted in flames, all peeling thunder

Be the lightning in me that strikes relentless

Part II: The Sunlight Through the Flags

Worry not, everything is sound

This is the safest place you’ve found

The only noise beating out is ours

Lacing our tea from honey jars

Part III: Daybreak

Something was bound to go right, sometime today

All these broken pieces fit together

To make a perfect picture of us

It got cold and then dark, so suddenly and rained

It rained so hard, the two of us were the only thing

That we could see for miles and miles

And in the middle of the flood, I felt my worth

When you held onto me like I was your little life raft

Please know that you were mine as well

 Starlight, Muse

Hold you in my arms

I just wanted to hold

You in my arms

My life

You electrify my life

Let’s conspire to ignite

All the souls that would die just to feel alive

I’ll never let you go

If you promise not to fade away

Never fade away

 Everyday, Buddy Holly

Everyday seems a little longer

Every way, love’s a little stronger

Come what may, do you ever long for

True love from me?

Pale Blue Eyes, The Velvet Underground

Thought of you as my mountain top

Thought of you as my peak

Thought of you as everything

I’ve had but couldn’t keep

I’ve had but couldn’t keep

Linger on your pale blue eyes

Linger on your pale blue eyes

When the Levee Breaks, Led Zeppelin

Don’t it make you feel bad

When you’re tryin’ to find your way home

You don’t know which way to go?

If you’re goin’ down South

They got no work to do

If you don’t know about Chicago

 I’m in Love With My Car, Queen

…..seriously? Everything.

 A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square, Tori Amos (+ version by Bobby Darin)

….obviously….

A Thousand Years, Sting

I’ve kept this single faith, I have but one belief

I still love you

I still want you

A thousand times the mysteries unfold themselves

Like galaxies in my head

On and on the mysteries unwind themselves

Eternities still unsaid

'Til you love me

 Snake Eyes, Mumford & Sons

It’s in the eyes

I can tell, you will always be danger

We had it tonight, why do you always seek absolution?

It’s in the eyes

I can tell you will always be danger

How does the earth around your feet

Just slip away?

And abandon that greets you in the night

With snake eyes, the most precious kind

 Bleeding Out, Imagine Dragons

When the hour is nigh

And hopelessness is sinking in

And the wolves all cry

To fill the night with hollering

When your eyes are red

And emptiness is all you know

With the darkness fed

I will be your scarecrow

Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered, Ella Fitzgerald

I’ve sinned a lot, I’m mean a lot

But I’m like sweet seventeen a lot

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

I’ll sing to him, each spring to him

And worship the trousers that cling to him

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

A Sky Full Of Stars, Coldplay

I don’t care, go on and tear me apart

I don’t care if you do, ooh

'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars

I think I saw you

 Angels Fall, Breaking Benjamin

When angels fall with broken wings

I can’t give up, I can’t give in

When all is lost and daylight ends

I’ll carry you and we will live forever, forever

 Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You, Frankie Valli (1967….yes….)

Pardon the way that I stare

There’s nothing else to compare

The sight of you leaves me weak

There are no words left to speak

But if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that is real

You’re just too good to be true

I can’t take my eyes off you

 Foreigner’s God, Hozier

All that I’ve been taught

And every word I’ve got

Is foreign to me

 Demons, Imagine Dragons

Your eyes, they shine so bright

I wanna save that light

I can’t escape this now

Unless you show me how

 Unintended, Muse

You could be my unintended

Choice to live my life extended

You could be the one I’ll always love

You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions

You could be the one I’ll always love

 Mad About You, Sting

…..seriously?! everything….It’s just CROWLEY’S LOVE SONG TO AZIRAPHALE. Period.

 Seven Devils, by Florence + The Machine

Holy water cannot help you now

See I’ve come to burn your kingdom down

And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out

I’m gonna raise the stakes, I’m gonna smoke you out

 Paradise (What About Us?), Within Temptation

What about us,

Isn’t it enough?

No we’re not in paradise

This is who we are

This is what we’ve got

No, it’s not our paradise

But it’s all we want

And it’s all that we’re fighting for

 I Found, Amber Run

And I’ll use you as a focal point

So I don’t lose sight of what I want

And I’ve moved further than I thought I could

But I missed you more than I thought I would

 Angel On Fire, Halsey

I used to be a darling starlet like a centerpiece

Had the whole world wrapped around my ring

I flew too closely to the sun that’s setting in the East

And now I’m melting from my wings

 Watching For Comets, Skillet

Now I see you, I’m frozen in time

All your colors burst into life

I don’t dare close my eyes

Cause a love like this happens once in a lifetime

 East Of Eden, Zella Day

Pink toes pressed against the carpet

Show your face and finish what you started

The record spins down the alley late night

Be my friend, surround me like a satellite

Tiger on the prowl

East of Eden

Coming for you now

 I Knew I Loved You, Savage Garden

There’s just no rhyme or reason

only this sense of completion

and in your eyes

I see the missing pieces

I’m searching for

I think I found my way home

 Every Breath You Take, The Police

Since you’ve gone I’ve been lost without a trace.

I dream at night, I can only see your face.

I look around but it’s you I can’t replace.

I feel so cold, and I long for your embrace.

 Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever), Muse

(seriously…..?! Just listen to it!)

Now I’ve got nothing left to lose

You take your time to choose

I can tell you now without a trace of fear

That my love will be forever

And we’ll die we’ll die together

Lie, I will never

'Cause our love will be forever

 Angels, The xx

And with words unspoken

A silent devotion

I know you know what I mean

And the end is unknown

But I think I’m ready

As long as you’re with me

 My Key To The Stars, Catman Cohen

A golden glow blazing all around Jupiter

It’s going to illuminate the night

The kind of light you once shone all over me

In the blackness of a lost, lonely life

 Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, Queen

asking why?….kidding right??

 Til Kingdom Come, Coldplay

Hold my head inside your hands,

I need someone who understands.

I need someone, someone who hears,

For you, I’ve waited all these years.

For you I’d wait 'til kingdom come.

Until my day, my day is done.

And say you’ll come and set me free,

Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me.

 In The Shadow, In The Light, Enigma

I promise you, for all my life

I’ll be Always on your side

In the shadow, in the light.

 I’ll follow you, wherever life goes

But I’ll always be aside

In the shadow, in the light.

 But if we don’t understand…

Hell is happy, heaven is sad

And that’s the result of our brain…

Insane…

 Caravan of life

By day and by night

Every tile’s a part of life

If it’s shadow, or if it’s light

 I promise you, even when the tide is high

I’ll be always on your side

In the shadow, in the light

 Universe, Punchline

Universe

You are my universe

And I’m just a planet

And I can’t stand it

But I am humble to be in your world

 Unchained Melody, The Righteous Brothers

Oh, my love

My darling

I’ve hungered, hungered for your touch

A long, lonely time

And time goes by so slowly

And time can do so much

Are you still mine?

 The Devil Waits For Me To Slip, Antonia Vai

have you ever tried to go clean

from a druglike love, your kindest fiend

knowing he’s in charge of your lows and highs

wondering who you’ll be without his reply

 Total Eclipse Of The Moon, Enigma

Time Doesn`t Say Hello

Total Eclipse Of The Moon

Many Nights In Our Lives Before

I Was Dreaming To Be Just Beside…Beside You

Total Eclipse Of The Moon…I`ll See You Soon

 Who Wants To Live Forever, Queen

Who wants to live forever?

There’s no chance for us.

It’s all decided for us.

This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.

 Mr. Crowley, Ozzy Osbourne

Your life style to me seemed so tragic

With the thrill of it all

You fooled all the people with magic

Yeah, you waited on Satan’s call

 Nobody Can Save Me, Linkin Park

I wanna fall wide awake now

So tell me it’s alright

Tell me I’m forgiven, tonight

And only I can save me now

I’m holding up a light

Chasing out the darkness inside

And I don’t wanna let you down

But only I can save me!

 Stars, Skillet (+movie version)

The deepest depths, the darkest nights

Can’t separate, can’t keep me from your sight

I get so lost, forget my way

But still you love and you don’t forget my name

 Get Thee Behind Me Satan, Ella Fitzgerald

Someone I’m mad about

Is waiting in the night for me

Someone that I mustn’t see

Satan, get thee behind me

 The Night We Met, Lord Huron

And then I can tell myself

What the hell I’m supposed to do

And then I can tell myself

Not to ride along with you

 We Spoke of God, Catman Cohen

One night

We spoke of God

Asking questions very strange

Is it all pre-arranged?

One night

We spoke of God

Under tarry blackened sky

We wondered why

 Mad World, Gary Jules

All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for their daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

 Origin Of Love, MIKA

Some love’s a pill and some love is a candy cane

It tastes so sweet but leaves you feeling sick with pain

Your love is air, I breathe it in around me

Don’t know it’s there but without it I’m drowning

Love

You’re the origin of love

 Heaven Is A Place, Amber Run

I don’t know when I started loving you

Now it’s all that I can I do

Heaven is a place I know when I’m with you

 Ashes Of Eden, Breaking Benjamin

Are you with me after all

Why can’t I hear you

Are you with me through it all

Then why can’t I feel you

Stay with me, don’t let me go

Because there’s nothing left at all

Stay with me, don’t let me go

Until the Ashes of Eden fall

 Yellow, Coldplay

Your skin

Oh yeah your skin and bones

Turn into something beautiful

Do you know

You know I love you so

 While Your Lips Are Still Red, Nightwish

Kiss while your lips are still red

While he’s still silent

Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled

Hold another hand while the hand’s still without a tool

Drown into eyes while they’re still blind

Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

 It’s 6 in the morning and I think I love you, Antonia Vai

I’ll find us a house on a lonely cliff

Skylines and crooked roads

Where we can watch the city burn

Smoke rising boulevards

I don’t get the picture while I’m in it

I would leave it for you any minute

For something closer to the sky

 Supernova, Within Temptation

Drowning in a haze, and I just wanna get in deeper

Purple skies with a million stars, I’m falling ground

These days when I’m losing track of time

These days when I’m burning up inside

These days when I’m lost, I search the skies

 Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen

…..do I seriously have to explain this one….?

 Goodbye Milky Way, Enigma

Shall I go, shall I stay

107 light years away

many times, so many doubts

But no reason to talk about

 Twin Flames, Epica

I ever need

My one belief

We share a common energy

I’ve flown afar beyond the sea

To find the other side of me

I’ve waited long and patiently

To find the one to balance me

To live without dubiety

This is my covenant to thee

 I’ll Be Your Mirror, The Velvet Underground

When you think the night has seen your mind

That inside you’re twisted and unkind

Let me stand to show that you are blind

Please put down your hands

'Cause I see you

I’ll be your mirror

 Innuendo, Queen

(YES, I couldn’t help it…this is just such a Crowley song)

If there’s a god or any kind of justice under the sky

If there’s a point, if there’s a reason to live or die

If there’s an answer to the questions we feel bound to ask

Show yourself, destroy our fears, release your mask

 Be Good To Me, Sia

You know what you do to me

You light up,

Light up the dark and

You’re all the good within me

My heart is filled, rebuilt

 You’re My Best Friend, Queen

You’re the first one

When things turn out bad

You know I’ll never be lonely

You’re my only one

And I love the things

I really love the things that you do

You’re my best friend

 The Fall, Imagine Dragons

I’m ready for the fall

I’m ready for everything that I believed in to drift away

Ready for the leaves

Ready for the colors to burn to gold and crumble away

 The Sound Of Silence, Simon & Garfunkel

“Fools,” said I, “You do not know

Silence like a cancer grows

Hear my words that I might teach you

Take my arms that I might reach you.”

But my words like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells of silence

 Still Into You, Paramore

It’s not a walk in the park

To love each other

But when our fingers interlock,

Can’t deny, can’t deny you’re worth it

'Cause after all this time I’m still into you

 Following The Sun, Enigma

Have A Look Up To The Sky

See The Billion Stars Above

Cos (Maybe) On One Of Them

You`ll Spend Your Further Life..

 When I Fell, Canyon City

Don’t you ask me when I fell in love

No one answer ever captures all I’m thinking of

It’s the strength and grace within

How you never let me win

It’s candlelight dancing round rooms

It’s the first time that we prayed

It’s the words we’ve yet to say

But I feel them anyway with you

 You & I, Rhodes

I don’t mind if you lie with me

You’re my friend

I don’t like to hide

Think about all the foreign things in our lives

And how time can fly

Oh is it still you and I, forever?

 I See You, Missio

I’m alone with you, you’re alone with me

What a mess you made of everything

I’m alone with you, you’re alone with me

And I’m hoping that you will see yourself

Like I see you

 Follow You, Bring Me The Horizon

So you can drag me through Hell

If it meant I could hold your hand

I will follow you cause I’m under your spell

And you can throw me to the flames

I will follow you, I will follow you

 Dressed In Black, Sia

You found me dressed in black

Hiding way up at the back

Life had broken my heart into pieces

You took my hand in yours

You started breaking down my walls

And you covered my heart in kisses

 How Long Will I Love You, Ellie Goulding

How long will I love you?

As long as stars are above you

And longer, if I can.

 How long will I need you?

As long as the seasons need to

Follow their plan.

 How long will I be with you?

As long as the sea is bound to

Wash upon the sand.

 How long will I want you?

As long as you want me to

And longer by far.

 How long will I hold you?

As long as your father told you,

As long as you can.

 How long will I give to you?

As long as I live through you

However long you say.

 How long will I love you?

As long as stars are above you

And longer, if I may.

 We’re all traveling through time together

Every day of our lives.

All we can do is do our best

To relish this remarkable ride.

 Somebody To Love, Queen

I honestly refuse to justify this one. Honestly.

 Alone With You, Canyon City

Let’s go get lost on a long back road

Where the river turns to streams and the time moves slow

It’s not anything you say, anywhere we go

It’s just being along with you now

Being alone with you

 Another Story, The Head And The Heart

I’ll tell you one thing

We ain’t gonna change much

The sun still rises

Even with the pain

I’ll tell you one thing

We ain’t gonna change love

The sun still rises

Even through the rain

 Unfold, Penny and Sparrow

Years spent trying, I want to hear you speak

Dragged out of silence, all and only me

Oh, I know I’m wrong, I’m the one who held up

Sin making a frame for you and I to make up, to make up

Please worry that I might leave

When you offer me the best of everything

 Wish You Were Here, Bliss

Like the air that I breathe, you’ll always be there

The wings that I need, when I wanna fly

Now I drift to you, I dream of a river

A water so blue, wish I could live there

Wish you were here

 Samain Night, Loreena McKennitt

And so our love’s not a simple thing

Nor our truths unwavering

But like the moon’s pull on the tide

Our fingers touch, our hearts collide

I’ll be a moonsbreath by your side.

 You Will Never Know, Imany

With every smile comes my reality, irony

You won’t find out what has been killing me

Can’t you see me, can’t you see?

You will never know

I will never show

What I feel

What I need from you no

You will never know

 Counting Stars, OneRepublic

I feel something so right by doing the wrong thing

And I feel something so wrong by doing the right thing

I couldn’t lie, couldn’t lie, couldn’t lie

Every thing that kills me makes me feel alive

 Temptation, Delilah Montagu

You let me in, and then you let me go

Like you’re afraid of what might happen

If you started to love me

But you’re all that I have, and you’re all that I need

I think about you daily

But all I ever get is “maybe”

And don’t you feel tempted by me

 Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

And I’d give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be

And I don’t wanna go home right now

 Into My Arms, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

I don’t believe in an interventionist God

But I know, darling, that you do

But if I did I would kneel down and ask Him

Not to intervene when it came to you

Not to touch a hair on your head

To leave you as you are

And if He felt He had to direct you

Then direct you into my arms

 As The World Falls Down, David Bowie

I’ll paint you mornings of gold.

I’ll spin you Valentine evenings.

Though we’re strangers 'til now,

We’re choosing the path

Between the stars.

I’ll leave my love

Between the stars.

 From Eden, Hozier

Honey, you’re familiar like my mirror years ago

Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know

I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

 Love Of My Life, Queen

Love of my life, you’ve hurt me

You’ve broken my heart

And now you leave me

Love of my life, can’t you see?

Bring it back, bring it back

Don’t take it away from me

Because you don’t know

What it means to me

 The Black Angel’s Death Song, The Velvet Underground

The rally man’s patter ran on through the dawn

Until we said so long

To his skull-shrill yell

Shining brightly red-rimmed and

Red-lined with the time

Infused with the choice of the mind

[mooosicaldreamz]

like four days ago, someone asked me to talk more about the stn and myiy playlists and i finally finished the post about it. so here. be warned, it is long.

i will use this opportunity to talk about what lynne and i like to call the “OG” stn and myiy songs. these are songs that we feel are the VERY MOST stn or myiy, and together would make the short forms of the playlists. the distillations as it were of these playlists that best represent the fics.

WE BEGIN

stn:

waves - miguel and kacey musgraves. amazing, spectacular, all about the very sensual sex that they get up to - but also very intimate. u know, they have a connection that goes deeper than sex that i think is clear in how good their sex turns out to be.

unforgettable - french montana. has always been to me a kara in the club song like a little bit drunk flirting with some girl and then texting lena like a classic ‘u up.’ it’s another intimate, sexy song that i think is very them. i also love the line ‘i gotta give it to her like we in a marriage’

passionfruit - drake. another club, intimate, sexy song. stn to me is about kara and lena just constantly circling around each other over and over because u know. they’re soulmates. and this song has a very circular work to it that i think works really well for the mood of this fic. also ‘i think we should rule out commitment for now cuz we’re falling apart’

i feel it comin’ - jillian jacqueline. i mean, it’s about sex, but it’s about knowing someone, too - knowing when someone is about to come is like a really sensual thing i guess and its intimate and u know. u get the deal. its them. ‘we don’t have to rush when you’re alone with me’

stay the night - jukebox the ghost. the OG song named stn on the playlist, a very fun romp of a song. probably the other half of this fic to me - kara and lena also have a lot of fun and are very flirtatious. some other songs on the playlist like walk the moon are of this family too. i think its obvs how this song interacts with the fic

more than you know - axwell /\ ingrosso. is a kara song, has always been a kara song. was an original song on the warm up playlist but moved over to the stn main because i think its lyrical content bears out. ‘come a little closer let me taste your smile until the morning light’ honestly kills me!

i watched you slip - panama. was an og song on the playlist for the eventual breakup phase that we saw at the end of stn5. i also think it reflects to the deepening of their relationship and understanding of each other, kara talking about her family and lena also talking about her family.

one foot - walk the moon. i’ve actually really thought of this as a lucy and alex song and if lynne and i were ever to get their story out there, this song would probably give its title. but it has relevance for kara in particular too.

sign - vhs collection. another og breakup song, another really the hard work of being in love with someone. reminds me of when kara talks to lena about her parents and they just hug? honestly this makes me cry just to think about.

tropics - mantaraybryn. there’s a subset of songs on this playlist about being in california and making out. this is one of them. the sort of longing quality of this song also works very well for the fic. ‘you’re breaking a smile, and i’m changing the pace’

i fall apart - post malone. has always been a post breakup song as well. it was all here on the playlist ALL ALONG.

your song - rita ora. it’s a sweet love song. i don’t know. it makes me smile. ‘we were way up kissing in the back of the cab, and you said hey love, come back to my flat’

all the stars - kendrick lamar and sza. a mood song. no other way to describe it. some of these songs on the playlist are just songs i can close my eyes and imagine them driving around national city in the range rover with the windows down.

thief - ansel elgort. this is all because of the fan video with the same song.

love lies - khalid and normani. another post breakup song that has also been a dark club somewhat drunk song for me for a while.

carly rae jepsen - favourite colour. this song was given to the playlist by lynne herself and its a BANGER and REAL!!!!!

back to you - selena gomez. another song that i think is really about how cyclical and circular they run around and around each other. they’re soulmates. its chill but its fine.

MYIY

adore - amy shark. a killer lena song, connected totally to the scenes of them pretty early in college but specifically the party scene early on in the fic.

can you tell - ra ra riot. this song i actually gave to lynne when we first started flirting and it’s so a sweet lena song like, i’m kind of really into you. one of the key things about myiy to me is that they do meet when they’re really young and have to grow into an adult relationship (they’re still working on it). but they do still have a quality of like two people who met young and are just like that still sometimes. they’re sweet.

abc - alexander fairchild. one of my very favorite true love songs on the playlist.

first time - vance joy. a big fave of mine, reminds me so much of them just being together at college and like. riding bikes. i don’t know. it’s a pure ass sunny love song and i would die for them.

let’s get married - bleachers. one of my very favorite songs. when lynne told me why she wanted it on the playlist for the first time i laid down on our kitchen floor and cried.

she’s casual - the hunna. absolute killer of a myiy song. when we listen to myiy in the car lynne demands we listen in order and so i ask where she wants to start and she always says this song. it’s a great song for both of them, and i think it really shows some measure of the desperation they feel for each other, as it were.

scared - delta rae. this song KILLLLLLLLS me. it’s a song for both of them, and it’s just - really emotional. you can really feel the fear i guess, and it’s a great breakup song. the premise of myiy really relies on how much they were really wrapped into each other by the time they broke up and i think this song really shows how invested they are. “i’m sorry, i loved you, but even those words are getting see through” is an a+ lyric.

looking too closely - fink. made it onto this playlist because it was in a fanvid that made me cry. is a great like, sitting in the dark drinking wine song, LENA.

without you - oh wonder. this song was one of the very first songs on the playlist and is the emotional crux of their breakup portion on the playlist - all of the oh wonder songs are meant to be benchmarks for different parts of their love story. it was, i believe, the song lynne suggested to give the fic its title. i rejected it and she still complains about it. i wanted the title to come from “fountain of youth” which is like four songs down.

dearly departed - shakey graves. one of MY fave songs, a great thumper of a lena song. i think it really speaks to how lena just like. know she’s the one who fucked it all up. “you and i both know that the house is haunted, well, you and i both know that the ghost is me”

let’s be happy - fire chief charlie. this is a great sad circa like ch5-6 song - totally the sort of precipice of getting back together, wanting each other so bad and willing to let go of the past to move into the future. “and if i say hello again, let it be for the last time.”

tiger teeth - walk the moon. every fucking inch of this song is so myiy i nearly died when i heard it for the first time. it is TEXTBOOK. the slow beautiful beginning, the like hymnal quality of the music and synth. it’s all there. it’s perfection. truly. and it’s just so them - they just love each other SO. MUCH. “when you swallow someone whole, you are bound to choke / well i guess we could never be friends, i ate you up the day we first spoke” honestly. i die.

the last of the real ones - fall out boy. this song is right at the beginning of the full weight of the back half of the season, essentially, when the drama of the fic becomes more external than internal (aka will they get back together). this song is really for the both of them, but it’s a fun adventurey fight song that i love. i like the sense of grandeur it gives them.

sand and lead - neiked and brolin. this song is one of my favorite songs about kara. “i’ll take the wheel if you do the pedals” is one of my fave lines. it’s just about, to me, exhaustion and the toll of being a superhero and stuff and getting the chance to be with lena and how that helps kara.

the lightning strike (what if this storm ends) - snow patrol. there are a few songs on this playlist that i’ve loved for a long time and have been looking for an excuse to put on a playlist. myiy runs enough of an emotional gamut that i have p much free reign. this song is one of those songs - a totally epic, edge of the precipice song. it’s great for storming into battle, and probably some daxamite nonsense. who knows.

heroes - peter gabriel. another endgame drama song, totally amazing, made me cry the first time i heard it, yes i cry a lot if you’ve read this far. i heard it and immediately knew it was a myiy song, knew exactly what it was for.

may i have this dance - francis and the lights. this song makes me HAPPY. it’s so sweet, a nice sunshine after the rain type song to help close out the playlist into ultra life which is the IDEAL song to end on. it’s just about dancing and happiness. “let me stay and excite you / we are bound to inherit the sins of our parents” so on so forth. they fucking love each other.

[jughead-jones]

how do you come up with your otp tags? I love them but don't always know where the references are from and would love to know :3

Hi! Wow! This is a really good question, thank you. Hookay, so I come up with my OTP and SHIP tags mostly from song lyrics, sometimes from paraphrased quotes and the like, sometimes I just come up with them: 

otp: bathed in sunlight; drenched in shadows — Bughead, and I just came up with this line. 

otp: hold tight; you’re slowly coming back to life — Bellarke, and it comes from one of my favourite songs, Keep Your Head Up by Birdy.

otp: in my boundless world i feel both deathless and dead cold — Jonsa in show ‘verse, and the line comes from a Romanian poem, Eminescu’s “Luceafarul” (translated as “The Morning Star”)

the subtle grace of gravity; the heavy weight of stone — Jonsa again, and the line comes from another one of my favourite songs, You Are The Moon by the Hush Sound.

otp: be the lightning in me that strikes relentless — Zutara, from the song The Lightning Strike by Snow Patrol.

otp: we are the architects of our own destruction — Reylo + Star Wars ships in general; strong paraphrasing on my part of a quote by Jean-Paul Sartre, one of my preferred philosophers. 

otp: we are pieces of time that keep drifting by — literature ships, a line from another favourite song of mine, Pieces of Sky by Beth Orton.

Same logic applies to my ship tags (which often include more than one paring in them, that’s why they’re ship tags and not otp tags). Some are just me coming up with dramatic sounding ships names. Others are just song lyrics, like my Harry Potter ship tag: ship: we built our love on a wasteland — which is a paraphrased line from Through the Baricades by Spandu Ballet.

[brynwrites]

Ask Compilation!

Music and Marketing. 

@my-words-are-light​ asked:

I would very much like to hear such songs. Got a list?

Of course! Not all of these quite fit the description, but they at least check some of the boxes. It also serves as a list of some of my favorite songs in existence...

Two Steps From Hell - Dangerous Feat. Linea Fever Ray - If I Had A Heart Agnes Obel - Familiar C21 FX - Blood Red Roses Miracle Of Sound - Lady Of Worlds Sarah Blasko - I Awake M83 - Oblivion Lawless - Descent ODESZA - It's Only Editors - All The Kings Coeur de pirate - Oceans Brawl Snow Patrol - The Lightning Strike  Brooke Fraser - Brutal Romance

Hidden Citizens has an album of epic trailer versions of ordinary songs which are kind of great in their own way. I’m also very fond of the more dramatic Of Men and Monsters songs. Someone made a comment on the post itself that Bastille fits the description and I support that interpretation one hundred percent. 

Anon asked:

Should you run your social media in the language your works are written on?

If your intention is to gather an audience who can actually read (and therefore enjoy and also have a reason to purchase) your writing, then yes, definitely.

Anon asked: 

Can i ask you how you choose the title of of your work? And if you have advices for chose the name of a write blog? Thanks!!

I can’t tell if you mean titles as in book titles or blog titles, so I’ll going with both just to be safe. My titles have come from everywhere...

The Warlord’s Contract: I think the trilogy was just born with this name? I honestly can’t remember what I did to come up with it.

Pearl: Was originally The Pearl’s Refrain, because Perle looks like a pearl and also sings. (Super original, I know.) I changed it to Pearl because I kept calling it that for short and it just stuck.

We Are, We Are Monsters: Literally just a line in the song that inspired it. Ironically, it fits the story to perfection, especially with the placement of that comma altering the meaning slightly.

The Marshmallow Aesthetic: The protagonist says he wants three marshmallows for the aesthetic of it, and since this is a short story I didn’t care to think much harder than that.

The title of my blog, Wheat is Wheat: Comes from my favorite quote of all time, by Van Gogh: “And this is why I say for my part, if I’m no good now, I won’t be any good later either — but if later, then now too. For wheat is wheat, even if it looks like grass at first to townsfolk — and the other way round too.”

(Obviously my actual blog username comes from the fact that I am Bryn and I write things.)

The purpose of a title is to draw people’s attention, to make them interesting in what the thing is about, and if they walk away from it to make them remember it in the future. 

My advice for choosing them, in general, is just to mess around with words and phrases that you (and/or your work) personally connects to until you find a title that: (a) Is between one and five words, (b) Sounds nice when you say it, and (c) Is moderately original.