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We looked inside some of the posts by productofmyancestors and here's what we found interesting.
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My auntie Babs has had such a huge impact on my life and why I love Guyana so much. She used to cook for us and tell us about Guyana.
We lost touch for a long while but soon after my ex and I broke up, we reconnected. She’d been asking about us for the longest time 🤍.
She is just as lovely as I remember.
For a second, I wished he was here with me to meet her. He’d absolutely adore her and her him.
She reminds me of his aunt a bit.
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Reconnected with my Guyanese side of the family. And my aunt invited me to bingo. Also, there’s a possibility I may be headed to Guyana this December.
She so deeply reminds me of my exes Auntie Ayo. I never noticed how similar Guyanese accents are to Nigerian ones. They have similar stories of travel and of their homes.
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Im so fortunate to be a woman, and eternally grateful to the women in my life who make endless space for me to take my time grieve and heal. Thankful for womanhood and how no one has rushed me to healing. It’s been like seven months and my girls still tell me “being with someone for five years is a long time, it’s ok to not be over it. It’s ok to not be ready to date. It’s ok to still cry about it and talk about it.”
Im thankful that im not a man who feels the need to bury myself in another woman because I don’t have true community, or other men around me that allow me to feel completely and wholeheartedly.
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Sometimes I look at relationships like Skylar and Temi, and see how they’ve flourished over the years. How even through years of hardship, they stayed together and now are on top of the world.
Sometimes I want to hate Adewale because I know what we could have been. If he wasn’t so… I don’t even know a nice word to describe what he was. Maybe if he meant what he had said. Maybe if he actually did want to marry me and understood what that meant at its core. If he really truly wanted to do life with me on OUR terms, not just his. Unfortunately, he didn’t.
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Moving to NY, traveling to Zimbabwe for free, celebrating my childhood bestfriends 30th in Brazil. This year, just like every other, will be such a blessing.
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In my dream last night, God reenforced that he didn’t create marriage as an economic contract.
It’s a sacred covenant, a lifelong commitment.
He also reenforced it while chatting with my married friends who truly have God fearing husbands.
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When I mentioned God and finances to my ex, he got upset. He told me it wasn’t the time to bring up what I wanted to say. And instead of going to the word, he said he needed to run things by his therapist.
His pride was shaken and his ego was crushed.
I think that was all I needed to know about his relationship with God.
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Church restored me. Whew. I need to listen to Gods voice. I will not let my emotions lead me to spiral.
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Maybe I need to get back out there go on a date and tell my brain that he’s not the only person for me. I don’t like dating for fun but maybe it’ll get me out this rut. 
I know all my thoughts are speculation. His life is none of my business anymore.
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One thing my ex did was he often made peoples actions about himself. So for instance, when his ex before me went on YouTube and cried, he made that about himself and how she was trying to get him to suffer. And now being in her shoes, almost 8 months after our break up and no word from him., I’m sure she was just trying to keep herself alive. I’m sure she just needed an outlet and maybe she did want his attention, but I don’t think she meant to harm him. But not once did he express any concern about her feelings. Any concern about her mental health or well-being. And I feel the same like I’m using Tumblr. I’m using Instagram as an outlet so I don’t hurt myself. I’ve thought about taking my life more than I ever have before because of this break up. I won’t do it. But I feel like I’m a slave to my heart. I’m a slave to my memories. I want to move on, but it’s hard. I have move forward, my life is good. My community is lovely. I’m outside exercising doing everything that I wanted to do. He’s just missing and my heart won’t let me ignore that right now. And so I made that Instagram as an outlet. I’ve never been shy about bashing men when they hurt me. My Twitter page that he love so much in college, same thing. He’s not absolve of that just because he’s the love of my life. And so no, I didn’t make that Instagram page to get his attention or make him feel a certain type of way. I made it for myself. I made it because before we even broke up I was talking about deleting Instagram. I didn’t feel like I can be authentic because I was following so many people who I didn’t care about didn’t care about me. So when we broke up, not only did I want to remove our digital footprints from one another because I was following his friends and his family, but I also just wanted a social space where I could be myself; where I didn’t have to be so brief, where I could just spill things out to people who I loved and who I knew loved me and would keep my secrets. Most of them don’t even read everything or you know really pay too much attention. I have 24 followers. And I love it. But I feel like he’ll make it about him. It’s no longer my business, but it’s just a thought I have. He might’ve changed completely. I know I did. We really don’t know each other anymore, do we?
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Im not close to being ready to date again and here he is seemingly moved on. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had another woman in his bed already. Probably sooner than this honestly. He probably say “it’s been seven months so what did she expect” similar to how he did with his ex it had been a year and he had moved on with me, but I, I understand her. I will probably still be hurt after a year. Or maybe not I hope I surprise myself. Oh, to be a man who can get over almost 5 year relationship in seven months, must be nice.
But I’m free. Still sad, still healing but free. My life didn’t end when he left, just the life I imagined with him. Im excited to keep living in this new chapter. This week has been a struggle though. Emotionally turbulent. I think about if he just trusted me. If he just considered me: my plans, my feelings, my thoughts, and how I imagined we could move forward.
If he just chose to work with me instead of trying to control the narrative and control what happened next I think we would be close to marriage now. If we started over and did everything right. How beautiful things would be.
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I’ve been allowing this breakup to fester for almost 7 months. Im done with that. Seeing his most recent IG post just sobered me. Idk if it is true or just in my head but it has a woman’s touch to it. I can tell. I think he’s already moved on. I know social media isn’t reality but I also know him. I’m a woman who doesn’t get into romantic relationships easily or a lot, I’m not a serial dater, I’m not interested in dating rn. He made a lot of huge promises to me about marriage and being together forever. And I did too. I took them very seriously and that’s been difficult for me to let go. But he’s a serial dater, he’s had a bunch of long term relationships and imo he is easy to win over. He looks happy, and even though I hate him sometimes, IM happy for him. I don’t feel sadness. I don’t feel anger. I just feel sorry for myself. I’ve held on to so much regarding us and our breakup and I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have. I should have let it roll off my back. Even up until today I was thinking about it. Still feeling sadness about it. And his post sobered me. I immediately blocked him again. I’ve been allowing this breakup to fester and Im done with that. It feels weird and good at the same time—letting go of someone you once thought you’d spend your life with. I’m crying while typing this but I don’t feel sadness. I just feel done.
Im moving on. Im moving on. Im moving on. Looking ended up being exactly what I needed.
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He’s moved on with his life so easily. It’s time for me to do the same.
He was never going to marry me and I see that now.
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Fuck him. Never again
No matter how I look at it, I continuously feel like I’ve been played. I thought I found my person and he just left.
I know I’ll find someone better, that’s not a fear. But will I find someone as in sync?
But honestly idc because he told me he doesn’t think he’ll find anyone else like me and still left.
So idc.
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I feel like my ex wrongfully tells the people in his life that the situation between my mother and I was about him and it wasn’t. He feels like it was about him and it wasn’t.
Yes my grandmother was wrong to say what she said. Yet when it came to my mother and I, our relationship was already on the rocks and we just needed a spark. The situation involving him was the spark. She wasn’t as upset about the situation that happened with him. She did call us sensitive and didn’t understand why we didn’t accept my grandmothers apology (which in the end, I found out that my mother misinterpreted my grandmother.) But the problem was her and me, our relationship. I had had it up to the very top of my nerve with my mother so when she called us sensitive I lost it. I attacked her character and her relationship with my dad. It quickly moved from being about the situation regarding my ex to one about our family.
And I feel like he’s the type of person to act like it was all about him and my family felt a type of way towards him and his culture, etc. when that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Now my mom went too far and was unhinged. But it really wasn’t about him at all.
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I want to let him go but my mind body and soul refuse to.
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I think that I was very kind and patient and compromising with him up until I realized he was being extremely selfish and taking those qualities for granted.
Now, I should have just walked away without a word. It was his second time breaking up with me within a few months of each other, but I chose to voice my feelings and it ended in me lashing out.
I don’t think he cared about my feelings tbh. All it seemed like he cared about was self-preservation.
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