#it’s just ugh sending asks and social anxiety……

[sableeira]

why is sending asks so anxiety inducing. this is the socially awkward cringefail website.

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

[miragemurder]

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Secret

Part 2 of Spotlight

Pairing: Veneer x GN Reader

Genre: Fluff, Make out

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A continuation of the oneshot, Spotlight.

For the people who asked. <3 ★ ★ ★

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A few weeks had passed since you last been at the club with your friend. So much had happened in that one day, it felt like you just rode the craziest roller coaster in the world. After the party, you and your friend spent the rest of the night giggling and fawning over the guy you just met. He wasn’t just some guy though, he was the Veneer.

You laid back in your bed, head softly hitting the pillow behind you as you pick up your phone from the side table. Today was a relaxing day as you didn’t have anything planned for today, so why not just lay back and go on your favorite social media. You clicked on an app and doom scrolled for a little bit. Most of the posts you saw were just of people going crazy about the latest stars and their new albums. You sighed and kept scrolling, not really interested in other people’s “fangirling.”

You stopped on a post that really struck your interest. It was a post of Velvet and Veneer. You didn’t even know they had social media let alone allowed to because of their agencies. You continued watching the video as they were announcing their touring schedule and meet ups. That’s when your brain clicked. You had Veneer’s number.

You got up from bed and scurried to your dresser, opening up a drawer and picking up the crumbled piece of paper that had his contact information. You took in a deep breath as you opened up the message app on your phone and dialed in his number. You decided to keep it simple and type in a little “Hey, its [_____]”

You dropped your phone on top of your dresser and paced around your room, anxiety getting the best of you. You didn’t know why you were so nervous, it was one simple text. You felt like you were about to pass out until you heard a buzz. You ran over to your phone and read the message.

“Oh hey! I didn’t think you were actually gonna send a text. Had me worried lol.” He sent a little laugh emoji next to his message.

You sighed deeply, all the worry draining from your body as you sent him a reply.

“Heh yeah, I eventually gained the courage lol”

You slightly cringed at the text as you sent it. You waited a couple of minutes for a response until you heard the vibration coming from your phone. He was trying to call you. You panicked and quickly picked up the phone.

“Hey sorry for the incoming call. It’s so much easier just to talk than having to type out everything. How were you lately?” He asked.

“Oh I’ve been good, just relaxing at home and sometimes going out everyone once in a while.” You sighed and smiled. You were nervous and excited all at once, you just hoped he couldn’t hear any of it.

“I wanted to invite you over to one of our meet and greets at the Rage Dome tomorrow, do you think you’ll be able to make it?” He questioned.

You quickly looked at the calendar you had hanging up on your wall. It’s not like you had anything planned but you liked to check.

“Nope! I should be free tomorrow.” You said, a little bit of your excitement coming out.

“Great, can’t wait to see you there.” He softly laughed at your excitement, making you fluster.

“Ugh, crimp is pestering at the moment. I’ll call you back when I can, bye.” He dragged out the bye and hung up. You sighed and laid back on top of your bed. You really were down bad for this guy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day rolls around and you slowly get up and stretch. You smiled to yourself, remembering that you get to see him today. You get up to go take a shower and fix your hair. You set the shower to be a nice warm temp and started stripping. You hopped in and quickly cleaned yourself, not wanting to spend forever in the shower. You quickly got out and got dressed, picking out your best formal outfit you can find. Yes, it is a meet and greet but you still wanted to look good for him.

You finished up your final touches when your phone started vibrating again. You picked up your phone and answered the call.

“How is my number one fan doing this fine morning?” He laughed. You laughed with him.

“I’m doing good, just finished getting ready for the day. How about you?” You asked, leaving the bathroom and sitting down on your bed.

“I’m doing alright. Honestly, I am way too tired to be getting ready right now but what can I say. Crimps already all up in my hair about the meet and greet. I don’t know why she’s so worried, the meet and greet doesn’t start until six.” He groaned. You can practically hear him roll his eyes at the end of his sentence.

“Well, I wish you luck.” You said softly.

“Thank you.” He paused for a moment until he continued. “What if you come an hour earlier so we can meet up beforehand? In private.”

You flustered a dark red. There was no way he just asked you to meet up IN PRIVATE.

“Uh yeah that would be great!” Your voice almost trembled because of your nerves. There is no way that this was actually happening.

“Great, I’ll see you at five.” He hung up. You sat at your bed, shocked. You slowly went downstairs and went into your living room, filling in time until it was ready to go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stepped inside the Rage Dome and were almost blinded by all the lights they had going on. You were about to pull out your phone until you saw someone approaching you.

“Hey you made it!” Veneer cheered, spreading out his arms to wrap you into a hug.

“Yeah, I was just about to ask you where to go.” You chuckled and so did he.

“Let’s go on back to my break room. I don’t want anyone seeing us out here. I’m not ready for all the paparazzi.” He shuttered sarcastically.

He walked you back to where all the breakrooms were. The rooms were for the celebrities to take breaks in, just in case they needed to fix their appearance or if the crowd was being too much. Once you walked in you noticed that Velvet wasn’t there.

“Where’s Velvet?” You asked, scanning the room.

“Oh she’s getting ready in another room. They gave us separate rooms which I kind of enjoy.” He smiled and looked at you.

“Can I just say something real quick? Your outfit is gorgeous.” He complimented. You smiled, blushing a little.

“Thank you, I didn’t think you would care that much.” You said with an awkward smile.

“It looks really good on you.” He stared into your eyes. You felt like you were about to explode with how close you too were. He slightly pulled you over to the couch and sat you down, him sitting right next to you.

He gently touched the side of your face with his hand, still staring longingly into your eyes. He slightly looked down at your lips and back up again before asking something.

“Can I..” He spoke hesitantly, leaning closer. You followed his actions and leaned in. He brushed a piece of hair back behind your ear and quickly closed the gap between you two. Your eyes fluttered closed as you two both enjoyed each other’s presence.

You wrapped your arms around him, your hand slowly moving through his hair. He deepened the kiss, his other hand grabbing your hips and moving you closer. He pulled back for a quick second to give you guys some time to breathe. His hair was a mess and his eyes were half-lidded. He was breathing heavily. You took in the sight, making sure to keep it ingrained in your memory.

“That was…” He looked down into your gaze. You smiled slightly and pulled him back in for another kiss. You laid down on the couch, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him on top. You continued making out for what felt like forever until you heard some foot steps from down the hall. You guys hurriedly got up and brushed yourself off, making sure it looked like nothing happened.

You were just about to walk out the door before Veneer put his hand on your shoulder.

“We can…keep this….as our little secret.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aye! I made a part two! I hope you guys enjoyed this. I tried to keep it as Pg-13 as possible since he is a teenager. He’s still a little out of character but eh, what are you gonna do. Anyways, leave requests down in the comments!

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[multim00n]

Hunter/the Golden Guard dating headcannons

Warnings: none, just fluff, maybe some spelling errors

Ps: I’m taking requests, but only for headcannons, PLEASE send in some requests I’m begging you

As the Golden Guard:

First of all, can we take a moment to appreciate how good this guy looks in dark colors? Like dang girrrl

Anyways

Okok so bro is very clingy but like, distant at the same time? Idk how to explain it

He covers up his true personality due to the military mindset he has, and it’ll take a long time to warm up to you and break out of that mindset while he’s with you

You’ll probably have to be the one to initiate physical affection like cuddles, hugs, and kisses since Hunter is terrified of making you uncomfortable, he just doesn’t want you to leave him :(

As distant as he may seem, he’s def super romantic

Like

Hunter would be the type of guy to leave you’re favorite candy or smth laying around, and when you ask about it he’ll be like ‘idk what your talking about’

His hands are SO SWEATY but he’s also like…Not warm? It’s cause of his grimwalker thing, he’s ALWAYS room temperature and NEVER gets cold

You’ll literally have to stop holding his hand JUST to wipe off the sweat, and he’s super insecure about his sweaty hands so he has to wear gloves so you won’t let go of him 😭

He also likes leaving little cringy poems on sticky notes and will leave them in ur room (if ur in the emperors coven) or in ur house

Please cuddle this stupid blond /pos

This guy is literally so touch starved, he NEEDS cuddles

He feels so guilty when he asks for things because he doesn’t wanna be a burden :’(

He LOVES LOVES LOVES when you get flustered because of him and he will literally do it as much as he can until you get used to it

When u two cuddle he is literally as stiff as a log at first but slowly relaxes and melts into your touch

Cries if you caress his scar

Also cries if you’re super gentle with him

As Hunter Deamonne-Noceda-Blight

Ugh

This boy is so whipped for you

Poor guy has BAD separation anxiety from u and hates being alone :(

Such a gentleman

He WILL open doors for you

He also buys you flowers 😭

Still romantic but it’s 10x more cheesy

He will stand outside if your house with a boombox while blasting music/hj

Still loves cuddles

Darius helped him learn how to ask for things so he’s more bold and shows u more affection

He’s SO insecure about his scars man 😭

He will cry if you tell him he’s beautiful :’(

He’ll also cry if you stroke his scars or kiss them

He blushes so easily and it’s not difficult at all to make him flustered

Just kiss his cheek or nose and this boy will turn BRIGHT RED

He will listen to you ramble about your intrests

You two hold pinkies out in public because he’s too socially anxious to show PDA

I feel like you two would watch Amphibia and Gravity Falls together

He will blush SO HARD if you wear his clothes

He will literally get so offended if someone insults you?? Like: tf did u say to my partner? Or will just immediately shut the person who insulted you down

Still leaves love notes for you

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas! This is probably gonna be a long one so I apologise in advance.

I have so many issues and need all the advice I can get at this point.

1: I have a really bad lack of confidence when it comes to my body. I’m very short for my age. Like, 4 inches shorter than I should be, short. I have a belly that goes kind of like

|

)

There’s my chest area then going down I have a belly. And it makes finding clothes that fit difficult because I’m small but have a belly. I’m still only just a teenager and probably will grow at least ( hoping with all my might) to 4 foot 11. But as well as the short + belly equation, I have really frizzy hair that makes me feel even worse.

I want to wear crop tops and normal leggings but my belly shows. I want to wear my hair down, but my mum tells me to brush my hair when it’s dry before school ( I have wavy hair, you shouldn’t brush it dry, it makes it frizzy).

2: I have horrific social anxiety. From January-July I have answered approximately 5 questions in my new maths and English classes.

I have 3 friends, one doesn’t got to my school. Another goes to the school library every break and lunch to use the laptops and so I only really have a single school friend. I want to make friends but physically cannot. It makes me feel sick.

I was on a week long cruise with my best friend, her mum and my mum. They had this kids club (13-17) and we had plans to go multiple times but couldn’t because we were way too scared of all the people that would be there.

3: is it too early for me to be questioning if I’m aromantic? Everyone my age (early teens 13/14) is dating or have crushes, but I just don’t. I’ve seen people ogling each other and thought that it was weird I didn’t have a crush and ended up convincing myself a had a crush on a boy I knew. I didn’t.

Hope I haven’t been too much of a burden.

Hi hon!

You are most definitely NOT a burden.

Okay, let's talk about these things one at a time.

I have a belly and I wear crop tops! You're definitely allowed to if that's what you want. But I totally understand being self-conscious, and unfortunately, I think that's so common, especially at your age. I know it's so hard, but try to look at your body as just that- a body. It does a job, it keeps you alive, and it's pretty cool for doing that! But it takes a lot of practice to unlearn all the stupid shit people tell us about needing to be perfectly tiny, so I get that it's difficult. As far as your hair, does your mom have wavy hair? It sounds like maybe not...could you maybe ask her to look up some wavy hair care products and routines? Because yeah, brushing it dry is a no.

Ugh social anxiety is a bitch. Do you have anyone you're comfortable talking about it with? I struggle with that a lot, too, and having a support system is helpful.

It's totally possible! If you feel like you're aromantic, then you're allowed to feel that way. Some people know from a very young age. It could also be that you change your mind later. Both are equally valid!

Sending love! Naming you laptop anon!

[blueberry-sodatab]

about me (a random tumblr user that’s happened to pop up on your feed)

hi, i am soda!

💜im genderfluid and use they/she/he pronouns (they change but because none of you know me just pick one and go with that)

💜i’m abro/lesbian and open to relationships, mostly qpr’s of some kind

💜i’m 19 and have dyslexia, audhd, and social anxiety

💜i do art, which is very obvious… i’m also working on a few fics which might not see the light of day until i get adhd meds, but hopefully i can share them with you soon.

💜and obviously this is a safe space for the whole lgbtqia+ and the disabled community. i do not judge and all of you are welcome, and i do mean all. straights are welcome to i guess… ugh /hj (just don’t be mean and we are fine)

my current hyperfixationss are:

-murder drones

-oxenfree

-my oc’s

-rc9gn

-ZenlessZoneZero

~other info!~

💜feel free to request little doodles or ideas. or questions, or whatever :/ i’d love to talk about md or my oc’s (who wouldn’t?) or others oc’s, i don’t do full on art commissions but if it’s a good drawing idea i might not have to pass up on it-

💜i’m open to friends/mutuals and my dm’s are open just don’t be a creep..

💜if you use my art in anyway shape or form please credit me properly, especially on pinterest omg- (i see you). you don’t need my permission just credit me. this includes art style studies (if you find part of my works pleasing and want to incorporate it to your art works that’s totally fine- no credit needed there. i’m not fussy if people take inspiration from me or heavily reference my art style. i’m more flattered you like it)

i don’t have a lot of other socials but have a link tree (discord is- soda._.tab)

🇵🇸 ALSO!!! 🇵🇸

i have been getting a lots of dms and askes/questions from people in Gaza and what’s been going on.

to thoes people sending them:

i do not have money to donate at the moment but please by all means i will happily share your information so others can and to get the word out. i may not fully respond to a dm but you are not being ignored. send a dm or question and i will immediately get to your page with all your links and story (or as soon as i see it) and share and repost it. you have my support ❤️ and i wish you and your family nothing but the best, when i can i will donate.

ليس لدي أموال للتبرع بها في الوقت الحالي ولكن من فضلك، بكل الوسائل، سأشارك معلوماتك بكل سرور حتى يتمكن الآخرون من نشر الخبر. قد لا أرد بشكل كامل على رسالة مباشرة ولكن لا يتم تجاهلك. أرسل رسالة مباشرة أو سؤالًا وسأصل فورًا إلى صفحتك بكل روابطك وقصتك (أو بمجرد رؤيتها) ومشاركتها وإعادة نشرها. لديك دعمي ❤️ ولا أتمنى لك ولعائلتك سوى الأفضل، عندما أستطيع التبرع.

ترجمة جوجل، آسف إذا لم تكن مثالية للقراءة

[ticklethentopple]

Hiya! I hope im not bothering you while sending this- (Social anxiety is a real bitch to me whenever I talk to my idols, even when its in asks-) Ive been looking at your page for a while now, and your art is just- UGH /positive Its so amazing! All of it is super well-detailed and the style is so cute! I hope you have a good holiday! Remember that you are amazing, no matter what other people say! - S.U (🐉)

Thank you so much <3 This makes me so happy x33 I hope you had nice holidays too!!

I really wanna work on improoving my art this year :D And this gives me some extra motivation!!

I have some more art to post and hopefully I will get back to drawing new art soon >:3~

[standfucker]

Hihi

OKAY SO like I personally just really really don’t wanna be a bother to peeps. I’ve been in fandoms in the past where people don’t appreciate random messages and like, I can overcome shyness, but it’s hard to overcome feeling like a bother.

But like, now that I knowwww… >>

I’m very caffeinated right now so my thoughts are not thinking but I can send a better message in the future <333

Ps I love your header ugh Marco is just so perfect I’ve been thinking of those stupid talons off and on ALL DAY

Pps can I ask what your main is I see this is a side blog but I couldn’t figure it out T_T I’m curious what other stuffs you like!!

YOU ARE NEVER EVER EVER BOTHERING ME!!! KAZ!!! I love seeing you in my notifs and would love to talk to you more!

But I totally get it! I have such social anxiety sometimes, I'm like, surely the people around me aren't interested in hearing from me Dx But I want to talk to people! I want to hear from people who like the same things I do!

DUDE I swear Marineford was a life-changing arc for me, when Marco's feet transformed into talons I became a different person, Im pretty sure I still have those panels screencapped somewhere on my computer.

My main blog is @tenzeniths! I mostly reblog OP and Digimon fanart, with some other silliness, and occasionally serious stuff. I try to avoid most current events for my own mental health though.

You can send me as many asks as you'd like!

[seriouslysam8]

Hi Sam, what type of reviews do you prefer? To be honest I get anxious when leaving reviews because I don’t want it to be too long where I’m rambling or too short where it looks like I don’t appreciate the effort the author put into the chapters. Sometimes I get too excited and I go back and tone it down because I feel like I sound stupid. I’m the type of reader that as I’m reading I’m making bullet notes of what I liked or my reaction throughout the story, favorite lines etc.., and then I go back and expand on it. But then I read what I wrote and it’s almost a page of what sounds like complete gibberish to me so I deleted it and try to sum it up so it’s not as detailed but more to the point I guess… I’m ashamed to admit it but sometimes I don’t review because I think the author is going to think I’m a complete idiot and laugh at me. Sometimes I’ll only write down a few words as my appreciation and hold back the hundred of things I want to say or ask in fear of looking like an idiot.

I appreciate all and any positive reviews.

The only type of review I hate is when someone is critical or bashes my stories. There are a select few people who I allow to edit and preread portions of my stories that I trust to give me that critical feedback. But in reviews, I like to keep it positive and happy and motivating because I do this as a hobby and I don’t get paid. I don’t care if I’m long-winded or you hate x character or my angst is over the top. Click the x and move on. If you genuinely like the story, I’d love to hear about it!

But if you feel up to writing a few words, I’m happy. If you wanna write me an essay, I am REALLY fucking happy. You wanna ramble in a bullet point list, I’m giddy. You will never annoy me with rambling in a review or giving me your unfiltered reaction. Honestly, it’s the best feeling for me and makes writing out these stories worth it for me.

I share these stories because it’s fun to geek out about our favorite couple or character. I love the friends I’ve made through writing. I try to respond to every review (minus the anon ones on ff.net because I can’t? You anon reviewers who ask me question on ff.bet know I can’t respond right because I always feel bad but I legit can’t respond to you) because I like chatting with people about these characters.

And I know not every author feels like that. But I am a rambling mess all of the time and love to chat. So, please, don’t ever be afraid to leave a long review, a short review, whatever. Never edit your review with me. I will never laugh at you but we can share a laugh together about something stupid I wrote or about our lovable little vegetable patch. Don’t be afraid to send me asks with questions or whatnot. Don’t be afraid to send me a private message. I don’t care.

I get the anxiety. I’m a terrible reviewer. I never know what to say so I always leave short reviews. I’m socially awkward so I’m always afraid what people will think of my reviews because I know there are a lot of authors out there who feel the way I do about interactions, but I know there are a select few who don’t feel the way I do. So it’s always nerve wracking. I get it. But with me, you’re safe. Let’s ramble and have fun together, okay??? This is supposed to be a fun space. I’m fun. I think???

Please, put a name on your reviews even if you want to be anonymous. It’s way more fun to see the same names over and over again because then I feel like I start to get to know you through reviews and it’s just fucking fun. Like every week, I wait for the same names to pop up in my mailbox and smile when I get their review. Or I’ll be like “Ugh, So-And-So hasn’t read yet and I’m anxious what they will saaaaaaay!!” Like I get excited for the every chapter reviewers.

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: fagbearentertainment

our interviewee is @fagbearentertainment (formerly @/ugh-schaloob), who ran a philza minecraft imposter blog! below is a transcript of their account of early mcytblr and being an imposter blog.

The philza blog was a pretty fun experience. I would schedule my posts to UK timezones (im from the US) and answer asks during school to be more convincing. I also had a lil feud thing with a wilbur soot kinnie blog called therealwilbursoot or wilbursootofficial or something like that, they deactivated a while ago tho. We basically just told our followers to send really cursed asks to each other, I sent my followers with anteater images and they sent their followers with minion memes. It was a good time. We both admitted to being kinnie blogs pretty fast tho, after ~a month or two we both quit posting for the most part. Rip Philpire o7

I also remember something about the Wilbur blog (or maybe it was a different wilbur blog? Can’t remember now) marrying Nick Wild from Zootopia, they invited me to the wedding via ask lol

For the he/they tubbo discourse I really only saw people on my dash saying it was stupid bc I didn’t use Twitter at the time. I do remember lots of instances of people being excited when a cc used they/them for tubbo and reposting the clips constantly. All the support for cis people using multiple pronouns led to me experimenting with neos and questioning my gender which is pretty cool thanks he/they tubbo discourse

I was also fairly active in the mcytblr high school au stuff, didn’t use the discord much bc of social anxiety but I do have a few posts of my mcytblr high school sonas on my main blog if you wanna see those. I was called the schools local Quackity kinnie bc of a quiz we all did and it became my mcytblr sonas whole personality for a while XD

Also here’s art I made if what I was doing on the discord server and mcytblr high school blog. Don’t have access to either of those anymore so this is probs the next best thing for archiving if you want to archive it

[officialtayley]

I’ve been a tumblr user for many years but that “Either let this be the OFFICIALTAYLEY blog where we can enjoy and discuss our band we love, or rename it the Israel/Palestine Blog and rip off the bandaid” anon ask might be one of the most insensitive things I’ve ever read

Ash, please don’t believe that person’s words cause you answered every Israeli propaganda ask with so much more patience than I could have done. Also, why are people acting like this blog stopped talking about tayley?? Ash still answers questions about h + t and other things about the band. Activism is a big part of paramore’s image so it’s not that surprising that our discussions lead to the topic of the genocide that’s happening right now

I’m grateful for the option of getting to ask questions with the anon feature because I have social anxiety online and it’s really disheartening that a lot of y'all are using this feature to send very rude messages about how people should run their blog

Calling someone “incredibly nasty, ignorant, stubborn, and obtuse” is so hypocritical of that person. If you don’t want to be on this blog then just unfollow or block, why are you calling someone derogatory remarks? like people said that they're unfollowing because the person running this blog is "rude" when the truth is, you lot are cyberbullying the person running it

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

(also ppl can still send asks about the band and tayley, i just probably won't answer them until i feel less ugh with them, so if ppl are fine with waiting then ppl are welcome to send them)

[deathlygristly]

I am having a problem.

One of the hosts of one of my favorite kdrama podcasts is currently on a trip to South Korea. So I got all excited and I started doing research and I texted the spousal person and I told him that I wanted to go to another country at least once before I die. And it probably would be just once - TSA, man.

Speaking of TSA, neither of us have been on a plane since before 9/11, so the whole thing will be a very new experience.

I looked up prices and it's not as expensive as I thought. I mean, it's still expensive, but I was imagining more thousands than just a few.

I didn't think the spousal person would actually be into it, because his social anxiety is even worse than mine and it would be a lot of paperwork and talking to strangers, but when he got home from work yesterday he was like "So yeah, I guess the first step would be getting passports."

Which he has his birth certificate but we don't have mine, so I ordered mine earlier today. Expected delivery date is in April, lol. And then getting the passports will take forever too, but that's more time to save money. He said he didn't think we'd be ready by Anniversary Week next year, so I guess probably no overnight trip next year to help save for an eventual overseas trip.

I'd like to do it while my mother is still alive though, so I can share it with her and send her pics and tell her about it. So hopefully she makes it a few more years. She's in good health mostly except for her foot pain and some short term memory loss, so we'll see.

Anyway I'm all excited and that's a problem because we're talking waiting literal years, ugh.

I am proud of myself though! The form for requesting my birth certificate asked for the middle names of my parents. I know my father's because it's on his gravestone, but I just had a vague memory of hearing my mother's occasionally. I put in what I remembered and then I asked her and I was right! :)

[wanderinglotus7]

POET IN PROGRESS

November and December brought me the peace I needed to wrap up 2023 on a high note and walk into 2024 with a new mindset. God gave me a taste of what the "slow life" really entails. I appreciate all the small moments I can get just to enjoy the simple pleasures life has to offer. That saying, I've been thinking a lot about my life. Yet, this isn't new to me. With my vision board in sight, I began asking myself some questions...WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?

Loaded question. Really, what am I doing with my life. It could be the change of the seasons or God gracing me a break from work, but I began asking myself where is life directing me. I'm 27 now, and opening a new chapter in my life. I'm leaving the grief & anxiety behind me (hopefully they wont become a major distraction in my life again). Singlehood has taught me to place myself first. To love myself again! I'm not in a rush to level-up in my career. I still have another year and a couple more clinical hours to rack-up before i can sit down for the LICSW exam (ugh). (I'm still 50/50 on this decision). I'm blessed to be with Adelante for almost 2 years come June. Call me a career woman LOL!

My health & mental health are pretty stable. I've reconnected with some old friends as well as reconnected with some new ones. I'm still capable of providing for myself. Therapy helped with asserting my boundaries. I'm able to focus on my hobbies. So, what's missing...?

I guess I'm still adjusting to my new life. Finding that perfect work/life balance will be a constant theme in my life. As long as I can address my needs early before compassion fatigue & burn-out take over, I should be fine. Then the aspect of school popped into my head. Not too long ago, I just completed 6 years worth of college, and I have the student loans to prove it. Why am I thinking about returning to school. In reality, I don't have the time to enroll in college again. Not even for a part-time program. Anyway, what would I study. I don't need to take any classes related to social work or psychology. My current work experiences is giving me all the lessons I need to better understand the world better. Then there's my vision board.

God was sending me a message via my vision board. God is telling me that this season is my time to invest in my passion. That passion is writing. If money wasn't an issue, your girl would be spending her time travelling and reading good books. If money wasn't an issue, I would be working in a bookstore. As an alternative, I can visualize myself as a travel blogger. I don't technically want to become a professional author/writer full time because my intentions behind writing isn't motivated by money. Plus, my inspiration doesn't work like that. It comes and goes like the ocean waves. I WRITE BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY STORIES TO SHARE.

GOD BLESSED ME WITH A POWER FOR WORDS. My pencil is my sword. My words give me voice.

"Your life is already artful-waiting, just waiting to make it art."- Toni Morrison

Thank you liberal art colleges for pushing your students out of their comfort zones. I'm glad I took a few English courses at Bridgewater College before I graduated. The English department was my gateway into the world of poetry. Ever since then, its been one notebook after another. Ding! Why not go back to school for creative writing. PROBLEM: Time & Money. God always makes a way out of no way. Starting in June, I'm going back to school. I'm taking 3 six week online workshop classes to improve my skills & knowledge around poetry. And I entered my first chapbook, Mariposa, into a recent poetry chapbook contest. Fingers-crossed.

[kittyprincessofcats]

A question for people in Germany or similarly pro-Israel countries:

How do you like... try to educate people/talk to people irl about Palestine without coming across as obnoxious/crazy/like you're overstepping?

To be clear: I absolutely think "there's a genocide going on that our country is actively supporting" is the moment to be as obnoxious as possible, I'm just worried people will get defensive if I get too "aggressive" or if I cross too many social norms, and that they then won't actually listen or take anything I say seriously - that I'll come across like one of those activists who's way too militant about their cause and instead of explaining and educating just shames people for not instantly agreeing - which will then make them defensive and less inclined to agree.

What I currently do is that I just infodump on people and try to list everything our news and media left out, and I try to do so wherever I go - but oh boy is bringing up a "taboo-topic" first thing not good for my social anxiety (and not good for my IBS which gives me horrible stomach cramps and diarrhea whenever I'm nervous either.)

And yeah - mixed results so far.

There have been people who already knew a lot about the conflict and agreed with me (on the important stuff, at least - that Israel is commiting genocide and needs to be stopped).

There have been people who didn't know much yet, but patiently listened to me ramble and agreed that what I'm saying makes sense.

There have been people who didn't know much and seemed unsure what to believe (which I understand, if I didn't have English-speaking social media I wouldn't know what to believe either).

There were some people who said generic things like "You should have compassion for victims on both sides" or "You can condemn both Hamas and the Israeli government" - which are in and of itself statements I agree with, but they're missing the crucial factors that only one side is currently dying in the thousands and only one side is currently commiting genocide and only one side has been violently oppressing the other for 75 years and so on and so forth.

And then there have been the people who I really don't know how to handle: the ones who straight-up refuse to listen or say anything. For instance, there was one time I met up with 3 friends in a park and every time I started rambling about Palestine, 2 of them would conveniently leave and go elsewhere. This could have been a coincidence once or twice, but they did it multiple times, again and again, and only when I brought up Palestine. And if they happened to be there and hear me say something that critisizes Israel (like, even just "Israel has a right-wing government" which is just a fact!), they would awkwardly look away and stay silent.

Have any of you figured out what to do about that last group of people? Or how to do this whole "talking to people" thing in general? I think maybe if instead of infodumping I sent people resources on where to inform themselves and also how to actually help that would be more useful and save me the long talks (?) - I'll also definitely be sending people Kaya Yanar's video, saves me the trouble of summing Israel's lies up myself.

Also, is it inappropriate to bring political flyers to someone's birthday party? A friend invited me to his birthday tomorrow and since I don't want to distract from / ruin his birthday with politics, I asked if it would be okay if instead of talking about it I brought some self-made flyers on how to help Palestine and gave them to the other guests. I know that's still kinda uncool at someone's birthday party, but like... people are dying.

(I still haven't actually made the flyers (what do I put on them? will people not read them if I don't use a pretty font and don't put any decorations? I'm not a graphic designer or anything, I just wanna sum up what's going on and how to help without having to have that conversation out loud and UGH, what if people still feel like I'm disrupting the birthday and will then ignore me... the mere thought of tomorrow just gave me the worst stomach ache as I wrote this post - seriously, Social Anxiety + IBS is the worst combo for doing this.))

[emaya-chan-the-potato-headed]

So I had to tell my cousin over email why I could not quickly answer back to her Christmas message, due to having a huge migraine all Christmas day (delayed stress reaction to a bad WIND storm that hit my area on the 23rd) and had to push my answer off a whole day (wishing her Merry Christmas back)

and now we are back to radio silence on her end...after things between us improved SO MUCH this year 😢

I dont dare "poke in" to ask whats up this time, there is no real valid reason, unlike last year

I hate this................

[burntblueberrywaffles]

my bf: leaves me on read when I send him memes

me: